Starry night on the prairie

This has been a bit of a productive stay-at-home day. I got several little things taken care of which feels good.

I finally got the pages from my blog three-holed punched and into a binder. I didn’t print them in the right order so had to collate them which was a bit of a pain but I got it done. Thank heavens I only had half the year and not the whole year to do.

I got the paperwork filled out to send to my bank about the required withdrawal from my IRA that will happen later this year. They sent a twelve page set of papers and it looked intimidating but when I sat down to do it I found it wasn’t too bad. They have several pages to fill out if I wanted a wire transfer which I don’t need so I was able to throw away those pages. Good to have that paperwork completed and in the mail.

Got four thank you notes written and in the mail for Love in Action. I got another book of stamps in the mail today from a first time donor. It is good that we are still attracting new donors. This book makes four books of stamps so far for our stamp drive. I also had received two rolls of stamps from a donor earlier this month.

Made goulash for lunch. I had remembered to lay out some hamburger last night and got it made late morning. Not sure why I was craving it but it hit the spot. I like goulash leftovers so will eat more of it tomorrow. I added a can of corn to it today and enjoyed that. Snuck in some veggies! I am not a good veggie eater so I appreciate when I can eat some.

Got two thank you PenPal notes today from Detainees expressing their appreciation for the Father’s Day treats of Coke and M&M’s. I shared those posts on the Love in Action Facebook page. One of them requested a large print Bible be sent to the Center and someone has already ordered that and taken care of that request.

Made a post about the three new ways to donate to Love in Action. I was able to find the links to each of the new ways to donate and they all work. I wasn’t able to do that yesterday and I don’t know what I did differently today to make that happen. Somedays technology and I are not on speaking terms and somedays it works with me. Wish I knew how I did it so I could easily do it again.

I didn’t hear back from the eye doctor so I called and left another message today. I wonder if his office will call me back or if I need to find someone else. I tell you, customer service doesn’t seem to be what it used to be.

Phil is coming over in a bit to install the window A/C unit for the backroom. I had ordered it when the house was hot thinking the central A/C unit couldn’t keep up. The next day I discovered the central unit was broken. I am still going to have it put in and we will use it on really hot days to give the central unit a bit of a break. I trust it will fit – I measured it twice but sometimes there are things I don’t know about things that bites me in the ass.

Tomorrow I take my car to get the oil changed at 1:00. Not sure if they will do it when I get there or if I will walk home and then back up there when it is done. Last time I left it they forgot to call and tell me it was ready to come home. I don’t have anywhere to go until next Monday so guess they can keep it for a bit if needed.

No plans for the weekend. I haven’t decided if I am going to a Rally on Saturday or not. I struggle with the energy at them and am doing a birthday party for Love in Action in July instead of putting together a rally locally. I have to be careful not to involve Love in Action in a political event as that is prohibited by the rules of being a 501(c)3. It is to be hot Saturday and I don’t do well in the heat. We shall see what I do.

Felt good to get a few little things done today. I tend to put things off and then it feels like I have a lot to do when really I don’t. Funny how my mind can blow things out of proportion to reality. It is something I have become aware of and am working to adjust my thinking.

Grateful for the little projects I accomplished today, grateful for homemade goulash, and grateful for the stamps that are coming in for Love in Action.

This has been a much better day for me. I actually was able to accomplish everything on my list today.

I started with a trip to the Court House to add a beneficiary to my car titles. Stephanie did a great job learning how to do this. I’m sure it isn’t something that happens everyday. It did take a bit to get both cars done but it is kinda complicated to do. I am to get new titles within the next six weeks or so.

After that got taken care of I went to the Post Office to get stamps. I had hoped they would have rolls of stamps today but they didn’t come in so had to get books of stamps. They are not quite as easy to use, but will do the trick.

I came home and packaged them up and then took them to the Detention Center for Heather.

Went to Emporia and went to North Reeble’s, although it is called something else now. I ordered a sheet cake and 13 dozen cupcakes for the July 11 event. I was pleased to see they still have their bakery. I still need to get a dozen gluten free cupcakes and a dozen cupcakes for diabetics ordered but I will get those somewhere else.

I went to Bobby D’s and had lunch and then placed my catering order. They aren’t charging for mileage which was nice and they are providing plates, silverware, napkins, serving spoons, buns, etc. They are to deliver the food by 11:30. That will make that day much easier for me.

Filled my car up with gas and came home. I had thought about going in Walmart and getting some groceries but I was peopled out and had to come home. When I got home I took a short nap.

Someone had ordered two books of stamps and had them shipped to me for the stamp drive I am doing for Love in Action. Those little gestures of sharing love is what keeps me going most days. I so appreciate the support.

After my nap I made an appointment to get the oil on my car changed, booked a haircut and an eye doctor appointment. Somedays those calls are hard to make so I am grateful I was able to get all three calls made. The eye doctor’s office didn’t answer and are to call me back – we shall see if they do.

I managed to get two loads of laundry washed, dried and put away today. Love when I can get that done all on the same day. Somedays I can’t do that.

I am working on a post for Love in Action that will include the links to all three new ways of giving. I thought I had it figured out but only one of the three links worked so had to delete the post. I put that post in time-out and will try again another day. Not sure why that seems to be hard for me but most days it is. When I do figure it out, I’m never quite sure what I did to make it work so it is hard to do it correctly again.

I have a couple thank you notes to write for Love in Action. My bank sent me the paperwork to fill out so I can take the required withdrawal from my IRA since I will be turning 73 this year. I have some time to get it filled out. When I am in the right mood I will tackle that. Sometimes that paperwork is hard to do as they use terms I have to look up to make sure I understand what they are asking for. I don’t have a very large IRA so the withdrawal is not very big so I don’t think I can mess it up too badly if I don’t do the paperwork correctly.

Have an idea for a new project for Love in Action. It is extremely hard to figure out what platform to use for what to get aide to the Detainees. One platform provides email access, a different platform is used to put funds in their commissary accounts, yet another platform is used for visitation. I would like to develop a website that clearly states which platform is used for what with instructions on how to proceed. I would have to develop a website plus figure out how to connect the families to the website. After the birthday party I will have a conversation with the Sheriff and Captain and see if they will cooperate and pass along the information to the detainee families.

Currently there is a lot of conflicting information on the various sites stating what platforms they use. Not sure if they change platforms frequently or if maintaining the various websites that list the information is a low priority. I can’t imagine being a stressed family member and trying to figure it all out. Lots of rabbit holes to fall down into when navigation all of that.

Have no idea how much this would all cost and how difficult it would be to build a website, etc. I think the biggest challenge will be to get the information to the family members on the outside that need it. We shall see where this all goes. It is in the very beginnings of forming into a plan in my head right now.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. Thursday I take the car in for an oil change. I usually drive it up and walk home and then walk back up to get it when it is done. Sometimes I time it right and they can take it right back while I wait for it.

No plans for the weekend so far. Monday I have a haircut and need to go by the vet’s office and pick up Flea and Tick medication for the critters when I am done with my hair cut. The rest of the week looks rather empty right now.

Grateful for an easier day today, grateful I crossed off several things from my to-do list, and grateful two more books of stamps showed up for the stamp drive.

This has been a hard day for me. Nothing felt easy. Grateful this is not normal and only happens rarely.

First thing I tried to do was confirm the small deposits PayPal had sent to the Love in Action bank account. The button I needed was hidden on my keyboard and it was hard to get it to scroll to find. That must have taken me an hour to figure out what was going on.

I went to the bank in Cottonwood Falls to get my notary application notarized. I was going to take it to the post office and mail it when I was done so I had taken a stamped envelope. I discovered I had thrown away page three as it was only instructions. Had to go home and get page three just in case that was really needed.

Went to the post office to get four rolls of stamps and they were out of stamps. Geez!

I took a deposit to the bank and forgot to write the account number on the deposit slip. First time I have done that.

I took my car titles up to the court house to add a beneficiary to the title. I had to leave them as the lady said it takes quite a while to process that. I have to go back up tomorrow to pick them up.

Supposedly in VENMO you can transfer funds from one VENMO account to another but when I have attempted to do that they sorry, we can’t do that. Guess I will do it the slow way. Like I said, nothing seems easy today.

I got the bill from the repair of the A/C. The bill was over $200 and the part that was broken was $2. Ouch!

I finally decided to go back to bed and take a nap and start this day over. None of the hard stuff was really important stuff, just frustrating that I found so many roadblocks. I’m not sure I got much accomplished today and had expectations that I would. That expectation thing bit me in the ass again!

I didn’t make it to Emporia today. Decided it was best to stay home and try again another day when things are easier. Hoping I can make it tomorrow and get the food and cakes ordered for the birthday party.

I think I will finish binge watching my show and finish reading the book I am reading and not attempt to get anything else done today. When things are hard, that is my sign from the Universe to drop things and let them sit. Tomorrow is a new day and things will be easier then.

My momma said there would be days like this! I know that you have to go low in order to go high. I remind myself of this and that makes the low days feel more purposeful.

Grateful this was a rare day of roadblocks, grateful tomorrow is a new day, and grateful I was able to realize what was happening and able to drop things and not keep pushing through.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go out for lunch but other than that have stayed home and not done much. I am finishing up binge watching a show I started a couple days ago.

Got an email from PayPal that told me I am eligible to sign Love in Action up for a VENMO account. WTF? How come they didn’t offer that before I got a charity PayPal account. From all I read it said I couldn’t use VENMO for a charity. I am so confused.

They are validating the bank account and then I can change the VENMO link in to the Love in Action account and I can get my personal VENMO account back.

Hoping all of this is clearer to me by the time I do the month-end report. It will be nice to introduce a couple new ways for donors to donate. Some have been asking for PayPal. Zeffy will be a new one with no fees that seem easy to use. Most of the donors are used to VENMO so the only change will be the address.

Tomorrow I need to go to the Post Office and get four rolls of stamps for the Center. Then I will deliver them and then I am going to Emporia to order the lunch for the birthday party from one vendor. Am going to a different one to order the birthday cake and cupcakes from another one. Maybe if I time it right, I can have lunch in town since I will be at a restaurant. I also need to take a form to the bank and get it notarized so I can mail in my application for the renewal of my notary certification.

It will be a good thing to have the things for the birthday party ordered. I will still have a few things to gather but for the most part after I get the orders placed, I will be ready.

I don’t have any plans for next week after I take care of my errands on Monday. Lots of empty space ahead for me. Not sure what I am going to do with it. Today it feels overwhelming and a bit intimidating. Tomorrow it may feel opening and welcoming.

I missed texting Craig today to thank him for being the father to my children. Even after the divorce we would do that for each other on these days. Thinking it was a challenging day for the kids. I am grateful for the wonderful memories though that pour forth.

Feeling a bit isolated today. I know it is a feeling and not a fact or truth. Trusting if I give it some love and attention it will disappear after teaching me whatever it is I am to learn.

Grateful for Craig and the love he shared with our kids, grateful the PayPal and VENMO thing is almost done, and grateful the party plans are well underway.

I woke up early this morning so it has been a long day. I did try to get more sleep late morning but was unsuccessful. I am still in my pajamas so it has been a stay-at-home type of day.

I did manage to get Charity PayPal on-line for Love in Action. I also hooked up Zeffy and got that on-line. I posted both of those to one of the month-end updates on the Love in Action site but haven’t officially announced them.

I also dug out the paperwork I need to name a beneficiary on my car titles. I think I found the right paperwork from the state that I have to fill out but I will go up to the Court House and have them give it to me.

I purchased the surety bond that I need to renew my notary license. I have the application all filled out and need to take it and get it notarized so I can mail it in.

Nicole and Geoff’s wedding anniversary is today. They have been married six years already. They threaded the needle and found a short window to have a back yard wedding with their closest friends and family there. It was a beautiful day and we were all grateful no one came down with Covid afterwards.

No plans for tomorrow. I might take another pajama day. It is nice to have a couple stay-at-home days where I sit and relax and then go to the desk and get things done. I have a little project I want to finish up tomorrow.

Monday I need to get the Detention Center some more stamps and take them up to them. They received a bunch more cards and I knew that request was coming. The Sergeant that runs the program likes to pre-stamp the envelopes before she hands them out and keeps her cart full of them. When I take the stamps to the Center I want to take a printed invitation to the birthday party July 11. I am anxious to hear how the pop and M&M event goes over for Father’s Day tomorrow.

I want to go to Emporia Monday and get the food order placed for the birthday party. I have decided to cater it as I worked some numbers and it is a bit more expensive but not really that much. I also need to order a cake and cupcakes. The party is in three weeks and I like to give my vendors lots of notice. Still have no idea how many will come but am going to pick a number and go from there.

Summer Solstice tonight. Time seems to slow down during this time of year for me. I do feel my gifts are fully present and being put into service in a new way for me. Things feel easy for the most part which is how I know I am using my gifts.

Grateful for a stay-at-home day, grateful I got the Charity PayPal up and running after six months of trying, and grateful to celebrate Nicole and Geoff today.

This has felt like a long day. I was surprised when I looked at the clock and it is only 4:30. I assumed it would be at least 6:00 if not later.

I did two loads of laundry and got them folded and put away. Yay for me. Kathy said sometimes you have the celebrate the small wins and that is what that feels like to me when I manage to get things folded and put away the same day they are washed.

Our neighbor came over and mowed our yard for the first time today. She came in afterwards and we had a wonderful conversation. I shared with her the history of Love in Action. She brought over a book of stamps. I gave her a couple packages of the grass-fed beef for her to try to make sure she will like the beef that is coming early August.

She told me about an app that caters to nonprofits called Zeffy. I might explore that as an option to collect donations for Love in Action. They don’t charge funds unless someone chooses to donate to them. You can enter a card information or bank accounts and pay that way. Something to explore, especially if I can’t get PayPal Charity to get up and running. It would be nice to find one that doesn’t charge fees.

Some friends dropped by and we had a wonderful conversation about a mutual acquaintance. I feel like a weight I was carrying got picked up and taken from me. I am forever in their debt.

I am working on making copies of my blog. I try to do that two or three times a year. I still have a couple months to go before I finish that little project. I can only request print on about nine days at a time and then I have to wait a bit. If I try to do too many, the printer stops and I have to start over. Good lesson in patience for me.

I took a check up to the Detention Center. I was informed last night that what I paid for the M&M treats wasn’t enough. The person at the Center had misunderstood the pricing sheet and didn’t order enough quantity. I had thought the price was way too low to start with so wasn’t too surprised when I got the email last night. Thankful I had extra funds to cover the additional expense easily.

Summer Solstice is Sunday. Time seems to slow down for me around the Solstice. We are invited to take a moment and honor the light that surrounds us and is within us. Light sustains us and carries us through the hard times. You are light! Light is love!

No plans for the weekend or next week for that matter. Have a few little tasks to do around the house. Getting my blog printed was one of those. Doing some cleaning is another. Getting my notary renewal application completed is on my to-do list for the weekend. Deciding what food to serve for the Love in Action Birthday Party is on the list too. Need to order a cake and cupcakes and if I decide to have it catered I need to get that order placed. I also need to write out an invitation for the Detention Center staff and get that to them. Lots of little things to take care of.

Sitting in amazement with how the Universe works. Problems are discovered and answers come with little effort when things are in alignment. Trust and patience! I think that needs to be my new mantra.

Grateful for a neighbor that will barter, grateful for friends that stepped up to the plate and took care of something, and grateful for Summer Solstice that invites us to be grateful for the light that surrounds us and is within each of us.

Neither Kathy nor I slept much last night. I think it was because the house was so hot. I doubt if I got more than three hours total the whole night.

Called the A/C repair guy first thing this morning and got on his schedule. He was able to come around 1:00 and got it fixed. He found a stuck valve and had to replace it. Wonder if it is covered under warranty? The unit is only two years old. I was gone when he came so didn’t get to ask him.

I went to Emporia and met Jason for lunch. Always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids. After lunch I took my car through the car wash and then went to Walmart to get some groceries. Got what I needed and came home.

Took a nap when I got home. Still don’t feel rested but am better than I was before I laid down.

Had a phone call from a Detainee’s wife. It was nice to talk to her for a bit. She sure is in a hard spot with her husband being detained for so long. He has been in the Detention Center since last December. Still not sure when he might get released.

Had a few sprinkles off and on today. Rain is in the forecast everyday for the next ten days. Not sure we need more rain at this point but I would rather have the rain than the 100 degree days.

Trying to decide what to fix for the light lunch for the Love in Action Birthday Party. I could get cold cuts, cheese, etc for build your own sandwiches or I could cater BBQ. Not sure which would be cheaper. Catering would be easier. I will price some things out and see what I decide to do. Have no idea how many people will show up so it is hard to estimate cost. What do I want lots of leftovers of may well decide which way I go.

No plans for the rest of the week or weekend. I haven’t done much today but a couple of stay-at-home days sound nice. I have a few little projects to work on and maybe I can find the motivation to get them done this weekend. Next week has lots of empty space in it too. Time for me to get some things done!

Hoping to get the charity PayPal account finally up and running soon. I am waiting on them to confirm I am an official charity and then I should be set to go. Although I am doubting myself as I type that. This little project has dragged on since the first of the year and I am not sure I really believe I am at the end of it. I hate to have to pay fees to get donations but I am not technically able to continue to use VENMO for Love in Action. If I can’t get connected to PayPal Charity soon, I might throw in the towel and give up. Wish there was another way to collect donations that was free and one that most people can access easily.

Feeling like there was something important I was supposed to take care of today but have no idea what it was. Guess it will reappear in my mind if it was important.

Sitting with a feeling of expectation today but have no idea what I expecting to happen. Maybe something new is on its way to me. I have lots of empty space to accommodate what ever is coming.

Grateful for time with Jason today, grateful the A/C is fixed, and grateful for all the empty space ahead of me.

This day started off early as I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Hoping I can get a nap later but we shall see. I tried once and couldn’t sleep.

I went on-line and PayPal had sent the two small deposits to the Love in Action account. I wrote those down and was able to confirm the banking information. The next step was is confirm we are a charity and that the funds will go into the Love in Action account.

I ran into problems with this step. I started on my desktop and they needed a copy of the bank statement. I am not good with navigating files and had trouble figuring out how to scan something and then find it so I could send it to PayPal. Switched to my phone and attempted to scan with it. Ran into troubles with that.

Attempted the process from the beginning on my phone and discovered the phone would allow me to take a picture of the bank statement. The desktop did not let me do that. Got that accomplished and am now waiting for them to approve it.

Dang, this stuff isn’t easy sometimes. This whole process has taken forever. I attempted to do it before we were an approved 501(c)3 organization and they wouldn’t approve me. Then I attempted it after I got notification of our approved 501(c)3 status but it took the government six weeks to update their files and put us on the list. I am closer this time so we shall see what happens.

VENMO is so much easier but technically I can’t use it for the 501(c)3 due to the end-of-the-year reporting requirements. I hate to pay PayPal funds for doing the same thing VENMO does for free though.

I got an email from the Sergeant that manages the card and stamp program at the Detention Center. She let me know her supply of cards was low. I put a note on the Love in Action Facebook page that I had added cards to the Amazon Gift Registry. Within hours six boxes of cards were purchased and they are on their way to the Center.

My neighbor has offered to mow for us. We were negotiating price this morning and I offered her 1/3 of 1/2 of a beef that is coming my way early August. She was excited to accept that offer. I am excited she has agreed to mow. We will also be dog sitting her dog when they go on vacation in July. I much prefer bartering with my neighbors than paying someone cash.

I put on my big girl panties and Kathy and I loaded the broken lawn mower to return to Walmart. We didn’t have the receipt so I wasn’t sure what they would do. To my utter amazement they didn’t ask any questions and fully refunded me the purchase price. Wow! I was impressed.

While we were at Walmart I got the 175 bottles of Coke I needed to buy for the Detention Center Father’s Day event. I also picked up another TV for them as I was informed that they put the spare one we had provided into use this week.

We went to the Detention Center when we got back in Cottonwood Falls and three people came out and helped us unload the pop and TV. Had a great conversation with the Captain and Lieutenant that manage the Center.

Lots of things done this morning. Returning the mower was big for me. I was concerned there would be an issue as I didn’t have the box or receipt and there was no issues at all. The PayPal change has been on my pending list for months. I am so close to having that finalized. Bartering with my neighbor was also easy and fun. I feel like I did a week’s worth of work in a couple hours this morning.

The biggest bummer of the day was finding out the free phone calls for the Detainees is off the plate for this weekend. There was a miscommunication thing that happened within the Center and they can’t make it happen. We talked about several options to make it happen for a different holiday and haven’t found an easy work around yet. I also found out the Captain is retiring later this year. They haven’t named his official replacement yet. Yikes! Trusting whoever is named will continue to let us work with them and allow Love in Action to continue to support the Detainees.

Time for me to turn my brain off and find some quiet space. I don’t usually deal with this many things in one day and am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luckily, I don’t have anything on my calendar for a bit and will have lots of down time over the next couple of days/weeks. Nice to get some things that have been pending off my plate.

I will start working on the birthday party details soon. Some of the things I need to plan out ahead of time but most can wait till it is closer. I have the date, place, time and entertainment nailed down. I have my list of things I need to take care of made. I will work my way through the list and prioritize it so I take care of the things that I need some lead time with.

Grateful for the easy mower return, grateful the pop and TV are at the Center, and grateful for the bartering exchange with my neighbor.

Feeling much better today. Still having stomach cramps that come and go but they are mild, especially compared to what I was experiencing yesterday. Haven’t eaten much yet but am working on it. Every time I eat something, the cramps come back so am only eating small portions to attempt to minimize the cramping.

I stayed up for the first round of storms that came through. We seemed to have gotten several waves of hard rain. Lots of puddles to play in today in the yard.

I got the clothes folded and put away from the laundry I did yesterday and got the sheets on my bed changed. Wrote a couple of thank you notes and got them in the mailbox before the mailman came today. I still have two more to write.

I put my big girl panties on and dug deep for some courage and called PayPal to see if I could get the charity PayPal account up and going. It didn’t take too long to get through the automated system and get to a real person. The person I spoke to was absolutely amazing. In less than five minutes I was set up and almost ready to launch. She even helped me figure out how to find the QR Code so I can link the account on my posts on Facebook. It was easy peasy! Wow! Impressive customer service from a big corporation. Call me impressed!

For some reason there was quite a list of people that were associated with my bank account. She couldn’t tell me how that happened but assured me they wouldn’t be able to access the account and take the funds. I will watch it carefully when I get it activated to insure that doesn’t happen.

I heard back from the Old School and we have a location for the Love in Action Birthday Party for July 11. Elexa Dawson will put on a short concert, we will have a light lunch and then of course cake and ice cream. It will be held from 12:00 – 2:00. Not sure how many donors will be able to come but hoping a few will be able to make it.

I will probably do a meat and cheese tray with stuff to make sandwiches, chips and potato or pasta salad for the light lunch. Not sure where I will get the cake but I have lots of time to figure out those details. A sheet cake is the easiest so will find someone to make and decorate one of those. Not sure if North Reeble’s still does those or not. They changed to a different type of store and I haven’t been in the store since that happened. I have no idea how much food I will need but that all seems to work itself out sooner or later.

Printed out the forms I need to renew my Notary certification. Found a company to get a surety bond from. They have to fill out a page of the application and not sure how I make that happen. I can’t send a copy of the bond. I don’t remember how I did that four years ago. I don’t think I have to retake the test but maybe? I couldn’t sleep last night from about 2:00 – 6:00 this morning so was working on the application then. I will reread the instructions when it isn’t the middle of the night. They might make more sense to me then.

Took two checks to the bank and got those deposited. We have raised $1,985.17 this fundraiser. My goal was $1,000 so we have almost doubled the goal.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to take the mower back to Walmart. I am hoping they will give me a refund and not an exchange. I will take whatever they will do. If I get an exchange, I will sell the new one. Kathy’s days of mowing are over, as are mine. While I am at Walmart, I will pick up the pop I need for the Detention Center. I may have to go back Thursday for the rest of it. There is a limit on how many you can buy on-line, not sure if that applies in person.

I trust I will have as good of luck returning the mower as I did talking to PayPal today. It was such a nice treat to have efficient service from PayPal today.

It was nice to get a couple of things done today. I hadn’t had a productive day for a bit. I procrastinate on doing things and spend more time talking myself into doing things then it takes to do the thing. I need to remind myself over and over that I can do hard things.

Grateful for the ease of the PayPal process, grateful the event was created for the birthday party for Love in Action, and grateful I am feeling better today.

This has been a tough day physically for me. Woke up to the worst stomach cramps I have had in a long time. They lasted for several hours before they finally quieted down. Have run a bit of a temp and had diarrhea on and off all day. I felt like I had been hit with a bus with muscle aches and a strong headache. Not sure if I have a touch of the flu, food poisoning or what is going on. I had the chills so I turned on my electric blanket and laid down for a bit and fell asleep. Had to take a second Imodium this evening after I woke up. Hmmmm….. Maybe by tomorrow this will be gone and I will feel better.

Obviously I didn’t get much done today. I did have several phone conversations today. We have some family stuff going on and I was a listening ear to it all. I trust things will get sorted out sooner or later – they usually do. Just on a different timeline and way than we can see now. Lots of lessons in this for all involved.

I had part of a bowl of chicken with rice soup and some crackers mid day. I have managed to get 32 oz of fluids down and am working on more. Good thing I don’t get hungry when I don’t feel well.

I put a notice on Facebook about needing someone to mow my yard. I think my neighbor and her young son are going to do it. They offered to let Kathy borrow their mower but Kathy wisely said she wasn’t allowed to use a mower again. We haven’t worked out the details. I would rather pay him to do it than some big company. If it doesn’t work out, I have a couple of names I can call and see if I can get on their list.

One day this week I need to attempt to return the mower and see if I can get my money back. I don’t have the receipt so not sure what they will do. If I can’t return it, I’m not sure what to do with it. A dear friend looked at it and he couldn’t get it going so it will take a specialist to fix it. Not even sure who that may be.

I got another donation for Love in Action in the mail today. We are almost to double the amount that I had intended to raise this time around. People are so incredibly generous with Love in Action. One day this week I will need to go to Emporia and buy the pop for the Father’s Day event at the Center. I need about 170 bottles of pop for that. I hope the store doesn’t have limits as to how many I can buy at a time. I will take Kathy with me so we can double the limit if needed.

I didn’t make it to the bank today to deposit the two checks I have. I didn’t trust myself to be that far from my bathroom today. Maybe tomorrow I can get to the bank.

This has been a day of rest for me. That is what my body was asking for. I won’t get out and about until I make sure this isn’t the flu or something I could pass to someone else. I wouldn’t wish this day on anyone.

Kathy’s eye and Sophia are both on the mend. Neither one needed to go back to the doctor today. Kathy still looks like a vampire with one red eye. Sophia got up like she was a puppy when it was time for her to go back outside this evening. She hasn’t done that for a bit.

I sent a note to a couple of musicians that I know to see if they have any availability for July 11. One doesn’t, one has limited availability and I haven’t heard from the third one. I will give it another day or two and then work with the one with limited availability. I haven’t heard back from the lady that rents the building I want to use. I also could check with the city to see if the community building is available. It is way too big for what I want to do though and will cost a lot more. Once I nail down the entertainment and a place I can start advertising it.

As usual when I get sick, I feel humbled. Today is probably just a day of inconvenience for me and nothing more than that. I had nothing planned so it was a good day to rest.

Grateful for Imodium that slows things down, grateful the kids trust me to vent to, and grateful tomorrow is a new day and I will be feeling much better by then.

Got home around 2:00 this afternoon. It was a fairly easy drive home. I stopped at Chipotle on 95th Street in Lenexa for lunch. I was glad to get home.

There was quite a storm here last night. We didn’t have any damage. We got rain in Cameron last night too. The forecast shows a couple of dry days ahead which will be nice except that it is to get up close to 100 one or two different days.

Kathy let me know the new mower stopped working. I will have to figure out a way to return it or find someone to work on it. I think I will hire someone to mow from now on. Mowers and Kathy seem not to be on speaking terms these days. I will call and find someone to mow tomorrow. Any ideas of who to call?

Our dear friend just showed up to look at the mower. How sweet is that? Fingers crossed he can figure it out.

No plans for the rest of the week. I do have to go to Emporia and get lots of pop for the Detention Center for an event next weekend. I was going to do a pick-up order but there is a limit of 12 and I need 26. I will have to call and make sure I can buy 26 at one time. I may need to make two trips to town to accomplish what I need.

Got another nice donation for Love in Action in the mail that came Saturday. We have far surpassed my goal. Maybe we won’t have to have another fundraiser this year.

Still thinking about a birthday party for Love in Action on July 11. A stamp drive would be nice – that would help preserve our remaining funds too. I would like to come up with some sort of gathering in the hopes that those that don’t live in my neighborhood would come so I could meet them and thank them for supporting the work we are doing. I think I could rent the classroom at the old school for $50 to hold the party in. I will check and see if it is available that day.

It was good for my soul to take two nights away. I had forgotten how fun energy work with others is. I was pleased to discover how much of it I have incorporated into my way of being without being aware of it. I also noticed I was much quieter than I used to be at events like this. I went to receive and not give and was grateful I was able to do that.

Feeling full today as a result of the time with special friends. It will take me a day or two to digest all that happened Saturday. It was a good reminder to me of this work and how powerful it can be.

Still thinking about the reading I got from Craig and Chris. I wish I had thought to record it as like last time I can’t remember all that was said. Maybe that isn’t the point of it anyway. I feel both of their presence with me at times and know they are both OK. I firmly believe that those that cross over remain with us at all times and the biggest thing that has really changed is how we communicate with them.

Grateful for time away, grateful to be home, and grateful for friends that show up without being asked to help a gal out.

I went to a retreat day today at the home of one of the students I went to Core Star Healing School with. She and a friend are mediums and co-presented today to a group of 12.

We started the day off with them doing readings for most of the people in the group. Chris and Craig came through together for my reading. I had set the intention that the two of them come through and it worked. I’m not too sure I remember much about what was said although at the time it all felt true.

After lunch we played some energy games and then were given the opportunity to attempt to do a mediumship reading. I was wiped out and didn’t volunteer to attempt it.

It was nice to be in a beautiful home in the country and gather with like-minded women of various ages and backgrounds and energy experience. It reminded me why I love this type of thing. An added benefit was one of the other students I went to Core Star with was there and I got to catch up with her.

I am grateful I had decided not to try to drive home tonight as I think I might have gotten into trouble attempting that. I am very tired and it is only 5:30. Last night I was asleep before 8:00 and slept until 6:00 this morning. Thinking tonight I might be in bed even earlier than that.

For some reason my calves and ankles are very swollen tonight. Not sure if it is because of the three hour drive I did yesterday or all the sitting today. I normally sit a lot so not sure why I would swell up from that today. They were a bit swollen last night and are much worse today. I will prop them up for a bit and see if I can get them to go down.

Not sure I am going to stay and go to the gallery reading the two ladies are doing tomorrow. I feel I got my reading today and am not sure I want to hang around all morning with nothing to do. I will probably get up and head for the hills.

It has been a treat to treat myself to a weekend away. It will also be a treat to get home tomorrow. There is no place like home.

I got a notice that there was a tornado watch for Cottonwood Falls today. I checked radar when I got back to my room at the hotel and it looks clear now. We had some heavy rain where I am in Missouri this morning. It cleared up and was hot and humid this afternoon. Trusting the drive home will be clear of storms.

Next week has a lot of empty space for me. I will need to go to Emporia and buy lots of pop for the Detainees for Juneteenth Celebration. I need to call Walmart and find out if they have an in-store limit on how many I can buy at once. They have a limit on pickup and delivery. The Center is to let me know if I need to chill it ahead of time or if they have room for it in the walk-in cooler the kitchen has. Other than that I don’t have anything on my to-do list next week.

Feeling my age this evening. I sure could have taken a nap this afternoon. It has been a bit since I sat through a day long class. I think I was probably the oldest one there although there were several others that were grandmas too.

I told someone today that I have simplified my life and don’t get out much anymore. I think that suits me better these days. It was fun getting out but man I look forward to a quiet week at home next week.

Grateful for the love and spirit I felt today, grateful to be reminded of some wonderful spirit led memories I hold, and grateful I get to go home tomorrow.

I am sitting in my hotel room in Cameron, MO. It was an almost three hour drive to get here. Traffic was heavy with some stop and go places. Grateful to be in my room and out of traffic for a bit.

Tomorrow I am going to a retreat that starts at 9:30. I am only 20 minutes from it so will be able to sleep in a bit before I hit the road around 9:00. Looking forward to seeing some dear friends at the retreat and meeting some new people.

Went to the post office this morning and mailed the documentation that the utility company needed to give me my half of some utility credits from my old McDonald’s days. Not sure how long it will take them to figure it all out. It will happen when it happens.

I dropped off some stamps and the check to pay for the M&M’s and chicken wings for our upcoming summer holiday treats at the Detention Center today. I am excited for the Detainees to have some special treats coming their way soon.

Someone from the Christian Science Monitor called me today. She had called the Chase County Detention Center for a story she was working on and they gave her my name and number. Not sure what will come of it but she wants to do an article about Love in Action. I have had other reporters call and few follow-up. I had to look up their publication to see if they were a Christian Nationalist paper – they are not. They tend to be center with a slightly left bent.

It is nice to sit in a quiet spot for the evening with no responsibilities. I trust I will be able to sleep well tonight and wake up rested and refreshed. I never know if sleep will find me or not.

When I got in the car to come today I tried to turn my GPS on. Forgot I had gotten a new phone and needed to connect it to the car. I couldn’t get it done in front of my house. Drove for a bit and got stuck in road construction. While I was stopped, I managed to get the new phone hooked up so I could have directions to where I was going today. Not sure why it wasn’t working earlier but grateful I got it done.

I need to go out and get something for tomorrow. I also want to fill the car up with gas as I’m not sure where I am going tomorrow and if there will be gas stations along the way. Better safe than sorry, especially since I don’t know where I am.

I have an empty head tonight. Hard to hold on to a thought long enough to act on it. Something external has shifted again and things feel lighter and faster again. So far I am keeping up without effort. Not sure what that is all about but when I am quiet I can feel the shift. Timelines shifting again? Maybe.

Grateful for a weekend away, grateful I was able to get my phone hooked up, and grateful for safe travels today.

Mom and Dad married on this day in 1948. They enjoyed 52 years together before dad died. I’m grateful for the role they played in my life and the family they created.

15 years ago today I graduated from Core Star Energy Healing School. It marked a big turning point in my life and I will forever be grateful. At least three of the students that were in my class will be at the retreat I am going to Saturday. I love the timing of the Universe to bring us back together again after 15 years.

We missed the brunt of the storms that came through last night. I would check radar and think that we were going to get strong rain and wind and it wouldn’t happen. I would go back to radar and see that the storm either split or turned and went around us. Grateful for that.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I had slept too much the night and day before.

This day started with an hour long phone call to a utility company about a credit from Shandler, Ltd. I think we resolved the issue. I have to send them some paperwork proof of what we talked about. Not sure when they might issue a check. It is complicated family business on my side of it.

Talked to both Nicole and Jason afterwards to fill them in on the conversation. I struggle knowing what is the “right” thing to do in cases like this. I guess it kinda depends on which angle you look at it from. I will do my best and that is all I can do.

Kathy had me check her eye last night. She said it felt like something was in it. It was all bloodshot with a bit of white showing. We looked it up on-line and the most probable cause was a blood vessel burst.

This morning the eye was slightly bulging with blood and no white to be seen. I think she is turning into a vampire! We called her doctor’s office and they had her come in to be seen by one of the doctor’s on staff. I went with her in case they needed to dilate her eyes. I find it hard to drive after that happens.

He didn’t do that but wanted her to go to her eye doctor to have him give a second opinion. Her medical doctor called in some antibiotic eye drops.

We went to Walmart where Kathy’s eye doctor is. Luckily he was able to see her right away. It is a burst blood vessel but he said it wasn’t bleeding anymore. He told her not to get the prescribed eye drops as she didn’t need them. He gave her some eye drops to help reduce the swelling and irritation. He didn’t even charge her for the visit. How nice was that? It will probably take up to a month for it to completely clear up. He said if it happens again she will need some blood work done to make sure her platelet count isn’t off. Both doctors want to see her again Monday if it isn’t better by then.

We headed home after that visit. On the way to town we got stopped for over 20 minutes with road construction on Highway 50. I pulled off onto old highway 50 on the way home and came home the back roads. Not sure how much time we saved but it sure was easier driving not being behind 20 semi trucks like we were all the way to Emporia.

I received another donation in the mail today for Love in Action so took that one plus the one from yesterday to the bank to deposit them. I then went to Subway to get some food as I had forgotten to eat today.

I didn’t get PayPal called today. After being on the phone for over two hours this morning I didn’t have it in me to make another call. Maybe I can get it done tomorrow before I leave for my retreat weekend. If not, it will wait till next week.

Before I leave tomorrow I need to gather the information I need to mail to the utility company and get that process started. I don’t expect a quick answer. It took the other utility company six months to decide how to handle the same situation with them. I will do my part and then let go of the situation and see what happens.

I am thinking about organizing a birthday party for Love in Action on July 11. We will be one-years old. I would love to meet my donors and supporters and a birthday party sounds fun. I will give it some thought and see what I can come up with. I need an activity of some sort – maybe singing or drumming? Uhm…. Lots of options. I can’t have it be a political event as that is not allowed under the 501(c)3 rules. I thought about a stamp drive and ask all the members of Love in Action to send a sheet of 20 stamps. They could use one of the stamps to mail the rest to Love in Action. I have lots of ideas but nothing definite yet.

We have surpassed my fundraising goal of $1,000 by over $600 at this point. People are so incredibly generous. We will have enough to do a Labor Day event in addition to the three we are doing in June and July. I will need to give some thought as to what to do for the winter holidays sooner or later.

Looking forward to getting away this weekend. It will be good for my soul. I haven’t taken time like this for me for a long time. I forget to do it and can’t ever think of where to go if I think about doing it. This opportunity kinda dropped into my lap and I grabbed it.

Sometimes life goes the way you plan and sometimes it doesn’t. I had anticipated a quiet day-at-home today but that isn’t what happened. I am surprised I am still above neutral after the chaos from the phone calls and the unexpected trip to town. Grateful both issues got resolved somewhat.

Grateful for mom and dad and their life together, grateful for Core Star Energy Healing School and the path it put me on for my life, and grateful Kathy’s eye wasn’t a serious issue and we had two compassionate doctors today.

Woke up during the night and was up for a couple of hours. Finally got a short second sleep. The nights feel long when that happens and I rarely wake up feeling rested. I took a nap this afternoon to get a bit more sleep.

Kathy and I took Sophia to the Vet at 11:00 this morning. Sophia has been limping for a bit and this weekend she could barely walk. Her rear left leg was bothering her the most. Today it was her right front leg that the Vet noticed. Thinking she has arthritis and this hot, humid weather has set it off in a big way. They gave her an anti inflammatory as well as pain relief. If she is not much improved within a week I am to take her back and they will do X-rays, etc.

Both dogs have moved into the house for a bit to give Sophia time to heal and not be heat stressed. I forgot how loud they can snore and how bad they stink when they fart. We shall see how long this lasts.

Woke up this morning to several emails letting me know more donations have come in for our summer holiday project for Love in Action. I had set a goal of raising $1,000 and by this afternoon we have raised $1,545 from 32 people. Wow! Betting a few more donations come in via mail before the word gets out that we met our goal.

People are so incredibly generous when I put out a need. We will do another fundraiser later this year to raise funds for special events for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. Not sure what our plans for those holidays will be but will figure that out when it gets closer. Hoping we can do pizza again for Thanksgiving as that went over really well. It is expensive though so we shall see how many funds we can raise later.

No plans for tomorrow. I am ready for a stay-at home day to prepare myself for being gone this weekend. Hoping the predicted storms for the evening stay away and all stay safe. We sure seem to be in a pattern of severe weather right now. One of these days the rain will stop and we will be wishing for it to come back. The river is getting high as the ground is so saturated that it can’t hold much more water right now.

I do want to call PayPal tomorrow and try to get that account set up and sorted out. I didn’t have the patience to do it today.

Looking forward to going away for the weekend. The retreat day Saturday is just what my soul needs – to gather with other like-minded people and stand in love with all. It will do me good to get away for two nights and take some alone time.

The Doctor’s office I was referred to in Wichita called me today and gave me an appointment for July 14. She almost hung up without telling me the name of the doctor or the address. They will probably send me paperwork to fill out and take but they may not. She said they put me on their wait list for an earlier appointment and will call if that happens. I guess it is a good thing the stone in my pancreas duct isn’t bothering me. Trust that will hold for another month or more.

Feeling relieved the funds have been raised and we surpassed our goal. I never know when I post what the reaction will be. I need to touch base with the Center and make sure the M&M’s got ordered so they are good to go for the Juneteenth event. I will need to buy the pop next week and take it to the Center. This little project just keeps moving along.

Grateful for the 32 donors that supported this fundraiser, grateful Sophia has some meds that hopefully will reduce her pain, and grateful the referral doctor called and I am on his books.

It was a night of very little sleep. I stayed up until the first storm cleared. The wind blew hard and we got lots of rain in a short amount of time. The power was off for about an hour. This house is quiet and we don’t feel or hear the rain much but we did last night.

The storm gave me energy and I wasn’t ready to go to bed. I was just getting ready to take my bath and go to bed when round two came through. I stayed up for that and finally went to bed around 6:00 this morning. I woke up around 8:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Kathy tried to take Sophia for a walk this morning but Sophia was struggling to walk. I took a video of it in case she doesn’t do it when we go to the Vet tomorrow. Sophia hurt her leg when we took her to get her haircut the middle of May. It had gotten better but now seems to be bad again. I think she has arthritis in her hip but it might be something else. Maybe they can give her something to make her more comfortable. Her appointment is at 11:00 tomorrow.

Some friends that walked the Camino last month came over this afternoon and shared their experience with me. They went 120 miles and had a very different experience than I did. But I think everyone that walks has their own experience with the Camino. It was fun to remember my walk and compare notes.

They were also kind enough to let me vent about Love in Action and some of my frustrations with it. They both offered some good advice and reminded me I am not responsible for how others respond to my posts. I needed to hear that again.

I attempted to take a nap and rest this afternoon after they left but not sure I ever fell asleep. It did feel good to stretch out and rest. Maybe I can go to bed early tonight and get a good night’s sleep tonight. A girl can dream! Sleep and I have not been friends for a long time. It is hard to remember a time where I didn’t struggle with sleep.

I got to thinking about my new phone bill last night and went on-line and looked at what the new bill was going to consist of. They had automatically subscribed me to four or five extra services that would have cost me almost $85 a month. I unsubscribed to all of them and now the phone bill will be $25 more than it was before. We will save over $75 a month than what we were paying having two accounts. Before I took off the extra services it would have cost a bit more than we each were paying.

I think it should be illegal for phone companies to add those services without the buyer’s permission. I wonder how many people don’t look at the bill closely and don’t realize they are being charged for things they don’t need. The phone company uses scare tactics to intimidate people into thinking they need the extra services and then sneaks them in hoping one isn’t paying attention. Buyer beware!

I am still struggling to get PayPal to accept the Love in Action bank account. I am going to have to call them and get help. Didn’t have it in me to do that today. Maybe tomorrow afternoon I can tackle that. I hope the person on the other end is much more helpful than the Verizon person was or I will give up and not work on it anymore.

Only about $125 from my goal of raising $1,000. I have enough now to cover the additional summer holiday expenses. Someone had sent two rolls of stamps so if I count the value of that I am at goal. I need to get the pop that we will need for the Juneteenth event of pop and M&M’s. I think I will place a pickup order at Walmart for it. That would be the easiest for me. I will take it directly to the Center and they can help unload it. Easy peasy!

Had trouble with my Microsoft hotmail password. I think I have it changed on all three devices now. They have a new way of making sure you are not a robot and you have to match a pattern. I was attempting to do that last night on no sleep and failed. Now it won’t let me try again. It hasn’t offered me another way to verify I am a human. Oh my, the challenges of life these days.

I sure wish there was a different way than passwords to log in to sites. The two-step validation is a pain in the ass. You need two devices available to log in these days. Surely someone can invent something easier that is safe. Hackers are smart enough these days to invent something – let’s put them to good use.

It is miserably hot out today. I took a deposit up to the bank and I don’t think my car ever cooled down much. My glasses fogged over from the humidity and the steering wheel was almost too hot to touch. I do not do well in heat like this. Kathy is in heaven. She loves the heat. My air conditioner hasn’t shut off for long today.

I managed to get two loads of laundry done today and it is even folded and put away. That is two times in a row. Wonder how long of a streak I can go? Not sure why it feels impossible to fold and put it away some days.

Realized I fell into the pattern of letting a few take me down with their comments on Love in Action and I ignored the 95% that were positive. I seemed to be wired to do that. It was helpful to hear from my friends today and remind myself not to allow that to happen. I still have a feeling I am missing something but can’t put my finger on what it is. Guess I will keep doing what I am doing until whatever I am missing makes itself known.

Time seems to have sped up again for me. I am not doing much, but time is going by so fast. I wonder if the new vibration is causing that for me? I can tell the vibration of the earth is changing and is higher with more light. I remember when I used to do energy healings that the higher the vibration the faster it felt in my body. Makes sense that time would feel faster too.

Is time obsolete? Our systems are and time is a system created function. Maybe time will become obsolete? Oh the places my mind goes sometimes.

Grateful for a visit from my friends, grateful we didn’t have any storm damage, and grateful the power was restored quickly.

I went to Florence to meet a couple for lunch today. There was road construction just before I got to Florence. Four miles of one-way traffic. Held me up for a bit.

Had the most delightful conversation. I met this couple through Love in Action. She makes the patches that she sold at a rally as a fundraiser for Love in Action. We have a lot in common and conversation was fast and easy. So fun to talk to other like-minded people and be able to go deep!

Came home and rested for a bit. Kathy had picked up some virus on her phone and was really frustrated. Her phone was starting to overheat when she used it so we decided it was time to get it replaced before it started a fire.

Went to the Verizon store in Emporia. I asked for the grandson of a person I know. He was efficient and helpful. I wanted to add Kathy’s phone to my service. He said he couldn’t do that but put in a call to someone and said they would call back within 30 minutes. We decided to head home.

We got just outside Emporia when they called. The lady that called talked faster than my ears could listen. I had to ask her to slow down. She kept rattling on and finally took a breath so I could tell her to start over and go slowly.

She got confused quickly. Told us my phone had a transfer request on it and she couldn’t do anything. She was trying to transfer my phone to Kathy’s line. We must have told her ten times she had it backwards. She finally figured out what we wanted and then said she couldn’t help us. She needed to talk to the guy at the phone store. WTF?

Luckily I had pulled over while we were talking to her. We turned around and headed back to the Verizon store. Kathy misunderstood and hung up on the lady. Oops.

We got back to the store and told the guy what was happening. He managed to figure out a way to do the transfer at the store without talking to the lady. Not sure why he couldn’t do that to start but oh well.

We got that done and then we each got new phones – free but for a price! It was going to take 30 – 45 minutes for the data to be transferred. We went to Braum’s and got an ice cream treat. Then I filled my car up with gas and went to the bank to get some cash for the weekend.

We went back to Verizon and the transfer was all but done. The guy made sure both phones had transferred the most important stuff and finished us up. Over $400 and three hours of our time we were done and headed home. We had to get new Otter boxes and screen saver covers. He said my first phone bill will be high as we have to pay connecting charges, sales tax, etc. etc.

I’m glad I went with Kathy as I am not sure she could have navigated all that herself. She definitely needed a new phone. I could have waited but I either had to get it now or take a chance that they would have a deal later.

It will take us a day or two to figure out all the new things on the new phone. The older I get the harder change is. We talked about Kathy getting an Apple phone but decided it would be easier for her to stick with her Samsung as that is what she has always had. I don’t know how to work her phone so can’t help her much but I think it would have been very hard for Kathy to learn a new phone system.

Tomorrow some friends are coming over to share their Camino adventure with me. They walked a much shorter version of it than I did and I am anxious to hear about their journey. No plans for Wednesday or Thursday. Since I got my errands taken care of today I may not need to go to Emporia again this week. Friday I am going out of town for the weekend and will be back Sunday early evening.

Got a donation for Love in Action in the mail today. We are getting closer and closer to reaching our $1,000 goal. We have less than $200 to go to reach the goal.

Dealing with big corporations is hard! I don’t think customer service is a priority these days. The girl we were working with over the phone didn’t know how to listen. Not sure why he was able to help us the second time but not the first time. When the lady called us we were put on hold for three minutes waiting for her to come on the line. Guess our time is expendable and their time is valuable. Hoping that I don’t have to interact with them again for a bit.

I asked the lady that I met with today if she was running Love in Action what she would do differently. She said nothing. She worked in the prison system for most of her nursing career and understands the system better than most. It was reassuring to hear her say nothing. We talked about how others can’t or won’t understand what we are up against when dealing with the prison culture. I need to remember to let it go when I run into someone that challenges me on it.

Grateful for friends made through Love in Action, grateful the phone deal is done, and grateful I don’t have to deal with big corporations most days.

I slept lots last night. Got up this morning around 8:30 and still felt a bit tired. Around 9:30 I went back to bed and slept two more hours. Finally feel rested although I am getting sleepy this evening. Wonder what my life would be like if I slept 8 hours every night?

Phil came over at 1:00 and hung the light fixture above the kitchen sink, two carbon monoxide detectors and two smoke detectors. It is good to have all those things done. I appreciate him.

Haven’t done anything today. I really do like productive days better but I don’t have much to do right now. I have a call or two I need to make tomorrow and I am meeting some friends for lunch in Florence. Maybe tomorrow will feel more productive.

Tuesday some friends are coming over in the afternoon to share their Camino adventure with me. No plans for Wednesday or Thursday. Friday I am going away for the weekend and will be back home Sunday late afternoon.

Hoping I can get a PayPal Charity acount set up this week. I wouldn’t bet on it though. It seems to be harder than I expected and I can’t seem to break through. Wonder what the lesson is in this for me?

Feeling a bit disconnected and ungrounded this evening. The empty space got to me today. Funny how some days it is easy and other days uncomfortable.

Grateful for lots of sleep last night and even more this morning, grateful Phil got my honey do list taken care of, and grateful I get to meet with friends twice this week.

I am still in my pajamas so obviously didn’t make it to the singing event today. I didn’t fall asleep until after 6:00 this morning. Slept hard for a few hours and never did wake all the way up. It has been cloudy all day and it was a good day to declare a pajama day and do nothing (again) day.

During the night I attempted again to hook up PayPal for Love in Action. It recognized that it is now a nonprofit but would not let me link my bank account. I kept getting an error message that said I had too many accounts linked to that bank account.

I finally remembered that VENMO is part of PayPal and I have my VENMO account linked to the Love in Action bank account as well as my personal bank account.

I deleted the VENMO link to the LIA bank account but am still getting the error message. I will wait till Monday to try again as maybe it needs to clear their system somehow.

These types of things drive me to drink – maybe it is a good thing I don’t drink. I find them so frustrating. I attempted to use the chat help but it sent me in the same circle I had already circled several times.

If I can’t figure it out Monday I will have to find a phone number and call for some help. I would rather stay with VENMO as it doesn’t take any fees but I need to have separate accounts so funds don’t commingle with my personal funds. And technically nonprofits are not allowed to use VENMO due to the reporting requirements of a nonprofit. VENMO doesn’t give you the mailing address of the donor like PayPal does. Not sure why I find this so hard.

We have received $636 of the $1,000 goal for our summer holiday project. I have enough for the Father’s Day and Juneteenth events so will check in with the Center Monday and give them the funds for those two projects. I still have a couple of weeks before they need the funds for the July 4th project.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. Maybe the goal of the day will be to get dressed. Sounds like an optimistic goal though! Monday I am meeting some friends for lunch in Florence and Tuesday some friends are coming for a visit in the afternoon. Friday through Sunday I will go away for a soul filled weekend away.

I am still reading the book Theo in Golden. It is the best book I have read in a long time. I am reading it slowing as I find it so rich that I don’t want to speed read through it. I will probably reread it when I am done. It is the type of book that I will probably order 10 copies to have on hand to give friends. We need more books like this in the world today. It is about the impact one person can do when they do acts of kindness and the ripple effects of those acts.

A line from the book that I am sitting with. “The older I get, the more convinced I am that every hurt the world has ever known is somehow the fault of every person who ever lived. Maybe not directly and never entirely, but somehow, I fear, we own all of the world’s hurts together.” Would we act differently if we believed this? People act out because of their inner pain. I wonder how many people I have hurt that then act out because of their inner pain that I caused? Multiple that by billions of people and that quote begins to make sense.

There is a scene he writes about that has stuck with me too. A homeless person comes into the sanctuary of a church on Sunday morning bringing with her the bicycle that is her only security in her life. Many of the congregation call 911 for help. One of the saints of the church recognizes the lady and offers to have the homeless lady sit with her family. The homeless lady was looking for the main character in the book and he came and got her and took her to his pew. The preacher recognized that the congregation had just witnessed and participated in a sermon if they could only see it. His response to the congregation was “Let us be silent and pause to reflect before we have our morning prayer.”

The book is full of short stories within the main story and the impact kindness has on others when one takes the opportunity to really see another person.

Grateful for a pajama day, grateful for authors that write stories about the power of acts of kindness, and grateful we are over 60% to our goal for Love in Action.

A stay-at-home day. My favorite type of day. I woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and started laundry. Did a few other household chores, baked a pan of brownies, and did some bookkeeping. Around 8:00 I got tired so went back to bed and slept for a couple of hours. Sure was nice to get a second sleep.

Got the mail and someone sent two rolls of stamps for Love in Action. How nice is that? Donations for the Summer Holiday Project continue to come in. We are a little over halfway to our goal of $1,000. It hasn’t even been 48 hours yet!

Made a pan of creamed chicken and biscuits this afternoon. Kathy and I both enjoyed them. Have enough leftovers for another meal or two. Hard to make a small batch. Got the dishes done but still need to put them away.

Got my laundry finished, folded and put away. I always feel ridiculously proud of myself when I get all of it put away the same day I wash it. Not sure why that is a task I tend to procrastinate on but more times than not I do.

Wrote four thank you notes today – have one more to write. Did some bookkeeping for Love in Action. I try to keep good records and keep them updated frequently. I do a month-end report on the Love in Action Facebook page monthly and it helps if I keep up with recording donations as they come in.

Looked at my notary renewal information. I get overwhelmed a bit and have to put it in time-out and come back to it. I am still waiting for the surety bond place I used four years ago to contact me for a renewal. If I don’t hear from them by the end of June, I will pick another company and get it done. I have until August 1 to get the paperwork in. I struggle sometimes with how to attach the proper documents electronically to the application. Maybe I can do it this year and not have to mail it in.

Tomorrow I am going to the Singing our Resistance event at Goodway Gardens at 2:00. Elexa was so kind to come do the event I held earlier this year. I so enjoyed the music part of that event and want to go to another one.

Next week I have a lunch with some friends in Florence on Monday and then Friday to Sunday I am going away for the weekend. Both events will do my heart good. Sometimes I forget to feed my soul and I will take care of that next week with these two events.

My blood work showed good improvement from the bloodwork that was done while I was in ER last week. I haven’t heard from the new referral doctor in Wichita. Not sure how long it will take for them to call me and who knows how long the wait will be for an appointment. This saga continues….

Felt good to stay home today. My soul needs lots of quiet these days to refill. Making myself a home cooked meal helped too. I forget to do that most days. I feel more at peace this afternoon than I have for a bit.

Grateful for creamed chicken and biscuits, grateful for air conditioning, and grateful for a second sleep today.

Not much sleep last night. I wasn’t surprised as I took too long of a nap yesterday. Have felt tired and a beat behind all day.

I met a dear friend for lunch today. It did my soul good! I don’t think there is much more I love than having deep conversations with friends that are on the same path and vibration I am on.

Went to the nurse practitioner this afternoon. She was good although is new to my doctor’s practice. After we talked she had to go make sure the doctor agreed with her plan. They are going to refer me to a specialist in Wichita. We shall see how this goes. They did repeat my blood work and what has come back so far looks much better than it did in the ER a week ago.

Found out the person that called that wanted my birthday was legit. Evidently the doctor’s office has out sourced the follow up from ER visits to some company. I told the nurse I didn’t know anything about them so didn’t give them my birthday information. The nurse said she would have done the same thing.

Stopped at Walmart after I was done at the doctor’s office and picked up an on-line order I placed. I got four bags of dog food and four cases of water. It is so much easier having them pick it up in the store and then load it in my car. I will get it all unloaded sooner or later.

After Walmart I went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s to get some iced tea. Decided to get an ice cream cone. Bad idea! I pulled ahead out of the D/T lane and reached over to put my credit card back in my purse. When I did, the ice cream fell off the cone and into the car seat. What a mess. I didn’t have many napkins so had to improvise to get it kinda cleaned up. I had to quickly eat what I could. The ice cream was too soft and melted everywhere.

It rained hard on my way home but I made it safely. By the time I got home it had stopped raining.

Thinking tonight will be an early to bed type of night. I sure could fall asleep right now but then I would be up at midnight. I will force myself to stay up for another couple of hours and then hopefully will sleep all night.

Last night I posted I was going to set Love in Action aside for a bit. The Universe has a funny bone! Not an hour after I typed that, I got an email from the Sergeant that does the card and stamp program. She sent me ideas for Father’s Day, June 19th and July 4. We went back and forth for about an hour via email and finally decided on our plan.

I have the funds to cover the projects but it would leave me with little to no cash so decided to post a fundraising post. I am back in the thick of it with Love in Action on-line. So far, so good although I had one exchange last night that made me go ugh….. The poster must have deleted it as it isn’t showing today.

For Father’s Day we are going to offer a free 10 minute phone call that all Detainees can make to a person of their choice. June 19th we are going to have a special treat of M&M’s and a Coke, and July 4th the Center will serve chicken wings for one of the meals. I think the Detainees will appreciate all three events.

I have asked several times for phone calls and this is the first time they figured out how we can make that happen. Some of the Detainees don’t have commissary funds and this will be the first call they will be able to make. Some have been held a long time! I hope they can make good use of it.

Funds are coming in already. I don’t think it will take too long to reach our goal of $1,000. I will need to get busy writing and sending some thank you notes. People are so very generous and responsive to my requests for funds.

Declaring that I was letting go seemed to be all I needed. Love in Action has a different feel to me today and the pause I had is gone. Another lesson from the Universe about letting go.

No plans for tomorrow. I need a stay-at-home day. I haven’t had one this week. Saturday I have a singing our resistance event to go to in the afternoon if I can make myself go. Next week I am meeting some friends in Florence for lunch on Monday. I am free Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and then am going away for the weekend.

Feeling back to my grounded self. My intuition seems to be back on-line and guiding me. I miss it when it goes on vacation without me! I’ll see how long I can maintain this vibration.

Grateful for a dear friend and her wisdom, grateful a plan was made to address my tummy issues, and grateful for the response to the plea for funds for Love in Action.

Got a text from Ellexia last night just before I went to bed. She wanted to go out to breakfast with me. We arranged I would pick her up at 9:30 this morning.

I forgot the highway between Cottonwood Falls and Strong City was closed and had to take the backroads to get to Highway 50. I managed to find my way without getting lost.

I picked up Ellexia and we went to Commercial Street Diner. We had to wait about 15 minutes to be seated. Neither of my two favorite waiters were there today. The place seemed to be missing a beat today. We finally got seated and put in our order. It took a bit to get our food but when we got it everything was hot and delicious.

We left there and then went and got a pedicure. We hit the place at the right time and they were able to take care of us right away. They had several people come in behind us and they told them to come back in 30 minutes. We both relaxed and enjoyed the pedicure. Ellexia has cheer camp next week and now her toes will be all pretty for it!

I took Ellexia home afterwards and then came home. I missed one turn on the back roads and had to turn around and back track a bit but I found my way home.

I came home exhausted so look a long afternoon nap. I may not sleep tonight but it felt good to take a long nap. Not sure why I was so tired but I was.

Nicole figured out a way to get more time off and is going to book us on a 16 day trip. That way we will get to go to Prague and see six different countries all together. That will give me something to look forward to. We will go late October or sometime in November.

Tomorrow I am meeting a dear friend for lunch and then I have a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. Friday I might be able to have a stay-at home day. Those have been scarce this week. Saturday I have a resistance musical event I may go to. Next week looks like a lot of empty space so far. That is how this week started so who knows what may come up.

Looking forward to my weekend away. Leaving the 12th and coming back home the 14th. A friend from energy healing school is hosting a day event at her home on that Saturday. She lives about an hour north of KC so will drive to a hotel close by her house on Friday, go to the retreat day on Saturday, spend the night at the hotel and then come home Sunday. She is also hosting a medium reading on Sunday in KC. I will probably go to that before I come home. It will do my soul good to get away for a weekend.

I need to replace my carry on bag before Nicole and I travel later this year. The bag I have I purchased to take on the Camino eleven years ago. It has many miles on it and the wheels have worn out and it is hard to push/pull. I think I got my money out of it and a new one will last me the rest of my traveling time. I have looked on-line to get one and get overwhelmed and can’t decide what I want. I think it may be one of those things that I need to shop for in person.

I am reading a book called Theo in Golden. I am really enjoying it and would recommend it. Not sure how it will end yet as I am only about half way through but it is a wonderful story about how one person can impact others through generosity. We need more stories like this one.

I have set aside Love in Action to give myself a short break. I was developing tunnel vision and needed to put it down for a short bit. Not sure how long this may last – probably until a new story drops in my lap. I need a bit of distance from it so when I pick it back up I remember what I love about it and not the downsides of it.

Putting myself out there on-line creates the opportunity for those that like to hide behind their screens to come out and play. I was taking the hits too personally which does no one any good. What I have gained from doing Love in Action is far greater than the hits I have taken but things felt out of balance. Putting it down for a short break will do my soul good.

Grateful for the time with Ellexia today, grateful for soft feet tonight, and grateful for a long nap today.

Woke up before 5:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got out of bed at 6:30 and started my day. It was a long morning!

Went to Emporia and met Jason for lunch at 11:30. Lunchtime is always good when you get to eat with one of your kids.

After we were done eating I headed to Walmart. Stopped and took the car through the car wash and then went to Walmart.

While I was shopping I literally ran into a man shopping with his daughter like five different times. We were both polite and smiled but it was becoming weird. The sixth time it happened I stopped, put my hand out and said Hi, my name is Kay. We must be destined to meet today. He laughed and shook my hand and told me his name and his daughter’s name. We shared a moment and then moved on. I didn’t see them again!

I hadn’t bought groceries for a bit so it took me a while to get everything I needed. Other than the man and his daughter, the store didn’t feel too crowded and I was able to get all on my list. I got checked out and came home. Had to make several trips in to the house to get everything carried in.

Got things put away and then Nicole called. We talked for over an hour! I think we are going to Poland in November. We will stay in and around Poland for a couple of days and then take a river cruise on the Danube for seven nights. We may add a couple days at the end so we can see two other cities since we are in the area. It will depend on Nicole’s schedule and how much time she can get off. I have all the time we need so told her to make it fit her schedule.

She will decide in the next two days if that is where she wants to go and if so will get it booked. Sounds like an adventure to me! Sign me up!!!

I like the idea of touring for a couple of days and then cruising for a week. The hard part for me of tours is all the packing and unpacking. This will eliminate part of that. I have never done a river boat cruise so that will be a new experience. Nicole and Geoff had done one in China and had enjoyed it. She said it was casual and you don’t have to dress for dinner.

I took a chair nap this afternoon. My neighbor up the street knocked on the door and it woke me up. She is a quilter and had two different pieces of black material and wanted a second opinion to see if they matched perfectly. We decided they did. She has never come up before so it was a treat that she came over. We visited for a few minutes and then she was off to make her granddaughter a quilt. Lucky kiddo.

The above the kitchen sink light fixture I ordered came in today so I sent Phil a note and asked him to come over and hang it for me when he has some free time. I also have two carbon monoxide detectors and two smoke detectors that need hung. Phil is so good to me and usually comes over rather quickly. I expect sometime this week he will get that little job done for me. I’m lucky he lives so close.

No plans for tomorrow. Thursday I am meeting a friend for lunch and then going to a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. I may go to a music event Saturday afternoon if I can make myself go. It is a singing our resistance event. That type of resistance event I can get behind.

Wrote a few notes to our Pen Pals this morning. Some haven’t heard from their match for several weeks. I don’t want them to feel forgotten. A couple haven’t responded for a long time. Not sure if they decided to drop out of the program and didn’t tell us or if they aren’t in a position mentally to be able to answer right now. I don’t want to give up on them too easily but I also don’t want them to think we dropped them.

It is so hot and muggy out. I had trouble going to sleep last night. I finally got up and turned the thermostat down two degrees. That made it cool enough I could sleep with a blanket on and was able to fall asleep better. I need to remember to turn the thermostat down at night I guess. It would be too cold to leave it that cool during the day so I will have to adjust it twice a day. Maybe I need one of those fancy thermostats that do that for you automatically. I have had one before and never used it though.

Jason and Nicole both told me to set down what is bugging me and let it sit for a bit. I do feel lighter this evening since I did that. Maybe it isn’t mine to pick back up again? Thanks for the advice kids! I needed that reminder.

Grateful for my kids and the way they help me navigate life, grateful for the invitation to go cruising with my daughter, and grateful for a chair nap and a visit from my neighbor.

This has been another low energy day. I didn’t fall asleep until after 3:00 this morning. Woke up a little after 8:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up, got dressed and started laundry. I couldn’t find my on switch. Finally went back to bed and slept for another two hours.

Still have felt low energy today but at least the brain fog cleared up a bit. Got woke up with a phone call from some sort of medical service that supposedly works for my family doctor. I had never heard of them before. They wanted me to give them my birthday to continue the call. I do not give that type of personal information out over the phone unless I have called someone and know for sure who I am speaking with. They discontinued the call when I refused. Uhm…..

This afternoon my family doctor’s nurse called and scheduled me to see the NP this week as a follow-up to the ER visit last week. Not sure it is necessary but I would like to have the labs redrawn to make sure I have recovered fully. The white blood cell counts were all over the place when I was in the ER and I want to make sure there isn’t something behind all of this other than dehydration from the colonoscopy prep.

Jason and I are meeting for lunch tomorrow. I need to get some groceries so need to go to town. It will be good to meet up with Jason and have lunch and then I will go get what groceries I need.

Thursday I am having lunch with a friend and then will have the NP appointment at 3:30. I have not yet heard from the doctor’s office that was to do the colonoscopy. Beginning to think they won’t call. I will talk to the NP about it and see what she recommends.

I scheduled a weekend away for myself June 12, 13 and 14. A friend of mine is hosting a retreat of sorts on the 13th and invited me to join them. I will drive to a hotel the 12th, go to the day retreat and then back to the hotel for the night. Sunday my friend and her friends are doing a group reading early afternoon in KC. I will attend that and then come home. I think a weekend away is just what my soul needs. It has been a bit since I was with a small group that focused on the things I love to talk about.

Saw where June 27 is the next No Kings Rally. Not sure if I want to plan something or what I want to do that day. The big gathering is hard for me to go to as most of the people are protesting against something instead of advocating what they are for. Hard to be around that type of energy. Not sure I have it in me to organize something though. Maybe someone else will come up with the type of event I can attend.

Still sitting with Love in Action and trying to decide what I need to change. I think I need to find someone to take over the Pen Pal program. I am frustrated with it and am not sure what to do with that. People are not corresponding on a regular basis. They can let two or three weeks go by without sending a letter. That doesn’t sit right with me but not sure how to motivate them to do better. I won’t give those people another match when their match moves on. One of those programs that it would be easier if I just did it myself. I was trying to find something that others could get involved in.

Maybe I don’t play well on a team anymore? Maybe this program isn’t meant to be? Maybe I need to screen the volunteers better? Not sure what the solution is yet. I am attempting to let it sit for a bit and see if the solutions will come to me.

Grateful for a second sleep today, grateful I have the privilege to take days and not do anything, and grateful laundry got done today.

Kathy and I headed for Wichita this morning a little after 10:30. First stop was at Chipotle for lunch. We managed to hit it at the right time and there was no wait. By the time we ate and left, there was a long line.

We went to Costco. Parking was at the end of the row. That should have been my first clue that it was going to be crowded inside. After being home for most of last week I found Costco to be loud and way too many people for my liking today. I got what I needed and got out of there. I didn’t do much shopping to see what they might have that wasn’t on my list.

The drive today was beautiful. The sun was peeking out between the clouds and casting spotlights on the prairie. I love when it does that. The ponds are full and so are the ditches. Water, water everywhere.

We got the car unloaded when we got home and I haven’t done much since. Watched the Sound of Music. I haven’t watched that for a long time. Can’t believe it came out in 1965. I remember my Aunt Marylyn taking me to see it when I spent some time with her family. We didn’t ever get to go to indoor movie places so it was a special treat.

No plans for this week except for lunch with a dear friend on Thursday. I probably should go to town one of these days and get some groceries. Maybe I can meet up with Jason for lunch and do two things in one trip to town.

Thinking about putting together a questionnaire of sorts for Love in Action. I need to find out what is working and what I can change. I realized today part of my feeling comes from all the repetition I have to do. Wondering if it is necessary. When I make a post I seem to get the same questions over and over. If I add fundraising information it feels like that takes away from the heart of the post. Yet when I don’t add it, the first comment will be about fundraising.

People don’t seem to go to the Love in Action page to find that information, or if they do they can’t find it. I need to change something or I am going to get too frustrated with it.

Can’t believe it has been almost a full year of doing this. I started Love in Action last July. I never dreamed it would turn into what it has become. Wonder what is ahead?

Grateful the Costco run got accomplished, grateful for the beauty of the hills, and grateful for a quiet day tomorrow.

Happy birthday to my youngest Nicole. She is my travel buddy and one of my best friends. I love to spend time with her. She does my soul good. I am so grateful she chose me to be her mother.

Rainy day on the prairie today. Thought about the bike riders and the rodeo people today. We have a couple more rounds coming in this evening and one of them looks like we need to put our seat belts on. We have a nice pond in the yard from all the rain we got today.

I didn’t do much today. I woke up early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep but never felt like I woke all the way up. Took a chair nap late morning but never did wake up all the way.

My tummy didn’t feel good today. After I ate breakfast of eggs and toast about an hour or so later I felt as full as if I had eaten a huge Thanksgiving feast. That lasted for several hours. Sure wish I knew why I did that and what I could do to stop it. I really need to decide what to do about a gastro doctor and get an appointment made. Not sure I trust the office that ordered the colonoscopy. They never have reached out about the results of the MRI I had done early May.

I posted the month end report for Love in Action today. A day early but close enough.

Kathy and I may go to Costco tomorrow if the weather looks OK. I have a couple things I need and I need to get out of the house. I don’t want to go to Emporia with all the bikers still in town.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I am meeting a dear friend for lunch on Thursday. That will give me something to look forward to all week.

Thinking about asking a few of the Love in Action supporters to meet with me. I am missing something but can’t put my finger on what it is. Maybe if I ask a few for what they would do differently if they were running the program I can figure it out. I have lots of free time and could drive to meet them for lunch or we could do phone chats.

Kathy and I both need to upgrade our phones. What is the best provider out there? I think if we combine plans we can save money and only have one plan between us instead of two individual ones. I am never impressed with Verizon’s service in Emporia. Cell service in Cottonwood Falls is not good and some of the providers are worse than others.

Today was one of those days where the empty space felt uncomfortable for me. Not that I had the energy to do something if I had something to do today. Feels like I am in a bit of a quagmire and not sure how to get out of it. I’m sure I may feel completely different in a day or two.

Grateful for Nicole’s presence in my life, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful for a chair nap.

A quiet day at home. It is muggy out today. I finally turned the A/C on as the temperature inside was 80. I don’t do well when it is hot and humid. It feels like summer has arrived and is here to stay.

I did run to the local bank to deposit a donation check for Love in Action. I appreciate the donors support and it is an honor to take a check to the bank.

Did laundry today and actually got it folded and put away. I don’t always get that part done. Had mainly pajamas and lots of underwear this time – guess I can tell what I have been doing the last couple of days!

Haven’t done much else today. Still have some housecleaning that needs done but it seems to patiently wait for me. Maybe this weekend I will get motivated and get some of it taken care of.

No plans for the weekend. Too many people out and about the next couple of days to leave the house. Rodeo fans are out and about locally and bike riders are in Emporia. I may walk up and watch the parade tomorrow afternoon if I can handle the heat. I must be a wicked witch as I melt in the heat.

Found out the beef I get every year from a local rancher is going to the butcher place in July. I have it all spoken for this year. It is always nice to get fresh beef in the freezer. I don’t use near as much as I used to but I do like having it on hand. I provide some for my kids and they seem to appreciate it. Not sure I am excited about writing the check for it this year. I looked up prices and it is sky high this year. I don’t doubt the value for the rancher and am glad they are finally getting paid a fairer price. Wonder how much the processing plant has raised their prices? How do families with young children afford to eat?

Need to get my notary renewed this year. I have barely used it but it is nice to have, I haven’t done a renewal before so need to figure out how to do that. You have to have a bond and I am assuming the company I got the bond with when I first became a notary will send papers so I can renew the policy. I have until August 1 so still have some time to figure it all out.

The Detainee pen pal from Germany sent me his wife’s contact information. She wanted to see the article I posted about him on the Love in Action Facebook page. I sent it to her and she sent a nice response.

Got the new carbon Monoxide Alarms in and of course they don’t fit the screws to attach it to the wall where the other one was. I want to order a light fixture to go above the kitchen sink. When that comes in, I will have Phil over to take care of those two little projects.

This day has felt a bit hard for me. I was trying to do something on my desktop computer and it was not cooperating with me. I had absolutely no patience I discovered. Maybe it is a good thing I am staying home for a couple of days. I will keep myself in time-out until I can play nice with others.

Kathy was cleaning her room today and found a bunch of crumbs under her chair. She told me about them and I told her we must be related. We always find crumbs under my chair too. She said mom wouldn’t be impressed! I have to agree. We must take after dad more.

Feeling a bit cranky this afternoon. It has been a long week and I am still sorting it all out. Our medical system is so broken and I am not sure what to do at this point. This could have all been avoided if the PA had listened to me to start with. I feel small when I don’t get heard.

Grateful for A/C, grateful for a quiet weekend ahead, and grateful I have the privilege of putting myself into time-out and staying in.

Today has been a good day. I am feeling back to “normal”. I was surprised I slept any at all last night after sleeping most of yesterday. I was up between 1:00 and 5:00 this morning but managed to get more sleep before and after that. I enjoyed hearing and smelling the rain that happened overnight.

I forgot to wish my son-in-law Geoff a happy birthday yesterday. He got the card I mailed Saturday today. Oops. One of these years I will surprise him and get his card to him on time.

I went to the local bank and made a deposit and then stopped at Casey’s and got a huge iced tea. Trying to get lots of fluids in and tea goes down easier than most liquids for me.

Worked on the month end post for Love in Action. Not sure why but I had trouble balancing the books today. I kept making stupid mistakes. I will sit with what I wrote and recheck my numbers again before I post. One of those days where it didn’t go easy for me.

The big bike race is in Emporia this weekend and the rodeo here local. I think I will stay home most of the weekend. We might walk down to see the rodeo parade Saturday afternoon if it isn’t raining but otherwise I plan on staying home. Not safe to be on the highways with horses and bikes everywhere. The bikers are going through Matfield Green as it is one of their rest stops. They cross Highway 50 at Road W. I heard they were reducing the speed limit for a bit around that road. Wonder if drivers will do so? I have my doubts.

I fixed rice and chicken to have for lunch. I made it bland on purpose and I was able to eat it and it didn’t bother my tummy. I will eat on the leftovers for the weekend instead of eating out. The restaurants locally and in Emporia will be full all weekend.

Man it feels good to feel good. I am amazed at how fast my body can recover. I am grateful for that. I tend to take my heath for granted until something like this happens and it always humbles me a bit. There are no guarantees for any of us that things will remain as they are today in many different ways.

I changed the photo for the home page of Love in Action to a photo of the new business cards. I think the automatic posts that Facebooks generates about someone changing their profile picture are redundant and I tried deleting the post that stated I had changed the profile picture. When I deleted that post, it changed the profile picture to a generic picture. Wonder why that post is required and not deletable? The business cards has the 501(c)3 ID number as well as the mailing address and phone number for Love in Action. People are always asking for that information. Wonder if this will slow down those requests? I honestly doubt it but I tried.

In the month end report I am writing I wrote about bearing witness. I may end up deleting it as I think those that already understand it don’t need to read about it again and those that don’t understand won’t get it. You can only read and understand what you are ready to learn. I keep reminding myself we really are splitting into two different realities and the two realities can’t communicate with each other.

I haven’t heard from the reporter from Wichita about the story he is working on about the Detainees and Love in Action. Maybe other stories more urgent came up and this story fell apart or got delayed. The way the news cycle works these days is so wild that what was important one day is pushed to the back burner the next day.

Struggling with what day of the week it is today. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday seemed to be a week long and I kept thinking today was Saturday. I almost didn’t go to the bank because I thought it had closed early. Glad I checked my iPad yet again to see what day of the week it is. I was surprised every time I checked that today was Thursday.

Still sitting with Love in Action and listening for prompts about what needs to change. I feel like I am missing something important about it but not sure what that is. We are so limited as to what we can do. Maybe what I am feeling is the “not enough” syndrome that plagues me occasionally. I have done lots of work on myself to eliminate the “not enough” thought pattern but it does raise its head once in a while yet. Just testing me to see if I got my lesson, I think.

Grateful to be feeling back to “normal”, whatever that is, grateful for the gentle night-time rain that fell last night, and grateful for my son-in-law Geoff.

I have done nothing but sleep all day. The running to the bathroom has finally stopped. I went a couple times during the night but not near like I had been doing.

I woke up with a temp of 102.8 this morning. Felt like I had been hit by a bus. My jaws and shoulders ached bad. The rest of me didn’t feel so hot either.

I ate a few Ritz crackers and a banana today. Progress! Every time I woke up I would attempt to drink something. Sometimes I could get more down than others. My temp is gone this afternoon and the soreness is getting better. Think I am on the mend.

I sent a regret to the meeting I was to have attended this evening. Didn’t seem wise to go and it would have required way too much energy I don’t have.

I am doing a load of laundry to clean up the oops clothes I dirtied. I felt like a toddler while I was at the hospital at times. Oh well, it was what it was. I finally figured out to go every ten minutes rather I needed to or not. Every time I would get in the bathroom I needed to.

Thinking by tomorrow I will have some energy back and things will start trending up. What an experience. The bad news is I got no answers to my tummy issues and have no plans to go through this again. The Doctor’s office that was to have done the procedure didn’t call today. Not sure I will hear from them. I will sit with all this for a bit and decide if I want to go see a different doctor or let it all ride for a bit.

I need to deep clean my bathroom. I am grateful the sewer was able to handle all the times I flushed. Don’t have the energy to clean it today but maybe by tomorrow I can. It is a mess!

No plans for the rest of the week and weekend. It will do my body good to have lots of empty space and rest. Not sure I will be able to sleep tonight after sleeping all day. I still feel very tired so maybe?

Another reality check for me. Without one’s health what does one have? Must be time for me to make some changes and get back on the path towards wellness.

Grateful to be on the mend, grateful for the ability of my body to bounce back, and grateful for all the sleep I have gotten today.

Had a very long and rough night last night. Trips to the bathroom every five- ten minutes for four hours and then every 10 – 15 minutes for the next four hours.

I was on a liquid diet today and thought I was doing a good job drinking 10 -12 oz every hour. I took my four laxative tablets at 4:00 and then drank the first of the two Mirilax cocktails I was to take. I only got a little over half of the first one down and things took a turn south.

I happened to have some Zofran on hand so took that for the nausea. Every five minutes to the bathroom and then I started running a 101.3 temperature. I quickly became dehydrated.

I called the doctor that was to do the procedure in the morning and he cancelled the procedure and told me to go to ER for fluids. He told me to call the office tomorrow and reschedule. Not a chance in hell I am going through this again. There has to be an alternative way or I will just learn to live with having bathroom issues.

Kathy took me in. Not sure I was impressed with the doctor tonight but I did get a bag of fluids. I went to the bathroom every ten minutes and had one oops. It was hard to manage an IV, a finger monitor, an urgent need and get to the bathroom on time. Thank heavens Kathy was there to help.

She dug around in the bathroom and found an adult diaper for me. It was big enough to stretch to cover my boobs. We decided it was a look! Not sure what kind of look but definitely a fashion statement of some sort!

They did labs and my white blood cell counts were off in several ways. My kidneys are not too happy with me today either. After we had been there for two hours they said they needed a UA. Luckily by then I had gotten most of the bag of fluids and I was able to produce on demand. After another hour the doctor came in and said all the labs looked good and I could go home. He didn’t mention the ones that were off. Maybe that was expected results with dehydration?

We were there over three hours and after the nurse got the IV started I didn’t see her again until she brought in the discharge papers. We had to put the light on to tell them the IV bag was empty. A different nurse came in and said she would tell my nurse. No one did anything. 30 minutes later blood was starting to move up the IV line so we put the light on again. This time an aide came in and flushed out the line and shut it off.

The good news is we don’t have to get up early and go to Topeka tomorrow. I hope Kathy can sleep in as she is up way past her bedtime. We saw three deer on the way home. One of them was on the highway but turned and went to the other lane. We were lucky.

I haven’t eaten anything all day and I am not hungry tonight. Hoping tomorrow things will settle down and I can resume eating and stay out of the bathroom longer than ten minutes at a time.

Life has a way of giving me detours when I least expect them. Although I did tell the NP that prescribed the Colonoscopy that last time I had one done I almost got into trouble with it and she said things are different now I would be OK. Not sure I will go back to this office. Still no answers about the stone in my pancreas duct and my tummy issues. Now what to do????

Grateful I am feeling better tonight and things are slowly slowing down, grateful Kathy was here and could drive me in, and grateful I can sleep in my own bed tonight.

I didn’t find sleep until after 3:00 this morning. I slept in a bit but got up and didn’t feel too rested.

I went to the reunion around 12:45. I got there at the perfect time as they were gathered in a circle and were quiet. That is hard to make happen with this group! I told them Aunt Marylyn wasn’t able to come but she sent her love.

I took two cards for all to sign to send good wishes and prayers to Marylyn. I hung around for about an hour and talked to the cousins that I know the best. Got them all to sign the card and then came home. Addressed the cards and put them in the mail box to go out in the mail tomorrow.

I started the colonoscopy prep this afternoon. Took four laxatives at 4:00 and then drank a bottle of magnesium citrate at 6:00. So far no action but am expecting things to get moving very quickly. I feel a bit nauseous. I hope that goes away when things move.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend in Manhattan if things aren’t moving too fast. I have to be home by 4:00 to start another round of prep. Tomorrow is clear liquid day. I didn’t eat much today and I am grateful since I am a bit nauseous.

OK it just hit. Three times in ten minutes. Think I will sign off so I can run faster! Wish me luck.

Grateful to see my mother’s first cousins today, grateful for a quiet afternoon at home, and grateful for a small house so the bathroom isn’t very far away.

I finally got some sleep last night. It felt so good! Sure would love to find the key to making that happen most nights instead of rarely.

I took a long drive through the hills today. I wanted to lay some flowers at the grave of Jack Spain. He had married my grandmother Hope after granddad Fred died. We all loved him and appreciated him.

I went through Matfield Green and took open range road. I was going to take a short detour and go by my great grandparents house but decided not to. The gravel roads are hard on tires and I decided I didn’t want to put more miles than necessary.

The hills are beautiful and there are lots of wild flowers blooming. I was watching for orange butterfly bush but I didn’t see any.

I managed to find the cemetery in Wonsevu. I wasn’t able to find his grave though. I found the grave of a GW Spain and left the flowers there.

I came home the other way and ended on G Road to Highway 50. Less hard gravel that way but the view was better the other way.

There was a truck stopped by the well. I checked with the four men that they weren’t stranded. I think it is an unwritten law out in the gravel roads in the hills that you make sure anyone you pass doesn’t have a flat tire. That truck was the only vehicle I saw on the whole trip while I was on gravel roads. I did pass one man outside his house in the middle of nowhere.

It took me over two hours to do the round trip as I only drove 20 MPH on the hard gravel. I wasn’t in a hurry and the hills were beautiful today. It did my soul good to get out in the hills today.

Had a phone visit with my Aunt Marylyn this afternoon. Unfortunately she isn’t coming to the reunion tomorrow. She has several medical things going on and didn’t feel comfortable being away from home. She wants me to go and let others know she loves them and was sorry she couldn’t make it. Guess I will go up after lunch and let everyone know. I need to eat light tomorrow to start the prep for Wednesday’s colonoscopy.

Tuesday afternoon I am going to visit some friends in Manhattan. I hope I can figure out how to get through the detour. I will have to be home by 4:00 so I can take the last part of the prep. I hope I am not making a mistake by not being close to a toilet all day Tuesday. If things are going strong Tuesday morning I will cancel.

I’ll be glad when Wednesday is over and hopefully find some answers to my tummy issues. I don’t look forward to the next two days of prep but thousands before me have done this and I did it once before. I can do this! Sometimes you have to climb a mountain to get to the prize.

Feeling like a change is headed my way again – something to do with Love in Action but I have no idea what it might be. Something feels wrong about how I am doing things now. Not even sure how or why – I just have a strong feeling that I am missing something important.

I will sit with this and see what comes up. I have run this entire project completely on intuition and I know it will continue to lead me down the right path.

Grateful for the beautiful Flint Hills that restore my heart, grateful for the life and love of Jack Spain, and grateful for no flat tires today.

Kathy and I did the cemetery run this morning. Our first stop was at the Cottonwood Falls Cemetery where we laid flowers for our great grandparents Ray and LuLu Patton and Ray’s parents NM and Clara Patton. We are fifth generation Chase County residents.

We then went to the cemetery in Florence where our parents, grandparents (mother’s side) and Mom’s two sisters and three brother-in-laws are all buried.

Off to Hillsboro where our grandparents on our dad’s side of the family are buried along with one of their sons.

We came home after that. We may try to find Wonsevu Cemetery tomorrow so we can lay flowers for Jack Spain who married our grandmother Hope Patton Koch after our grandfather Fritz died. I haven’t been there for a long time but have a general idea where it is. Don’t know if GPS will help or not.

Kathy was able to use the new mower today and she loved it. It starts very easily and is a bit wider than the old one. She did have to charge the batteries to get the job finished. They don’t take long to charge though. She said she had to put it on low speed as otherwise she would have had to run to keep up with it. Grateful that problem is solved for her and grateful she loves to mow. I’m glad I got the bigger mower and the longer lasting battery one as the smaller one would have had to have been charged twice for her to finish the yard.

I had two five gallon gas cans to get rid of as well as a weed eater. Kathy doesn’t like the heavy gas weed eater and bought herself a battery operated one. We need to clean out the shed and get rid of lots of things. It is way too crowded. I told Kathy as we go through it, if we find things we haven’t used since we moved in two years ago it is getting thrown out or given away.

I wrote a post for Love In Action today welcoming all the new members. Anytime we post a story we get lots of new members as the posts get shared. The post sharing the story about the man that came to the US when he was 16 from Germany has been read over 19,000 times now. The post I wrote is too long but I couldn’t figure out what to leave out. I tend to be way too wordy when I write.

The carbon monoxide detector decided to tell us it has expired and needs replaced at 3:30 this morning. I hadn’t fallen asleep until around 3:00. I didn’t know if it was telling me to get out of the house or what. I finally found the decoder for the number of beeps on the back of it. Then I didn’t know how many beeps it had beeped. I figured if it was telling us to get out of the house it wouldn’t stop beeping. I did turn the furnace off and open a window just in case. Hard to figure that stuff out in the middle of the night. Is it just me or is that when smoke detector batteries tend to talk to you too?

I hadn’t realized the carbon monoxide detectors had a shelf life. I ordered two new ones and they will be here sometime next week. I paid a bit more and got some that are good for ten years this time instead of the cheaper one that was only good for five.

No plans for tomorrow unless we decide to go to Wonsevu. The hills were so pretty today that we might take that drive if it isn’t raining. I have to travel lots of gravel roads to get there and don’t want to do that if it is raining.

Monday is the family reunion. I have to start my colonoscopy prep so won’t be able to eat much. I may wait and go until I think they are done eating and then go visit for a bit. Tuesday is full on prep day and a liquid diet day and then Wednesday I have to be in Topeka by 8:30. Kathy is going with me so she can drive me home afterwards. I truly hopes this test gives me some answers as to why my tummy is so reactive and unhappy a lot of the time.

Still seem to have lots of empty space on my calendar these days. Starting to feel a bit antsy about all the empty space. Need to find a new project to do. I manage life better when I have a couple productive days a week and lately it doesn’t feel like I have had a productive day. But I don’t feel a pull to be around people. Uhm…. I have myself a quagmire of sorts.

Grateful for the memories of the people who’s graves we visited today, grateful the new mower works better for Kathy, and grateful I figured out we weren’t in danger when the carbon monoxide detector yelled at us during the middle of the night.

I was rudely woken up this morning for yet another phone call from the doctor’s office that is doing my colonoscopy next Wednesday. Do they really need to read me the copy of instructions I already have three times? I wasn’t very polite with her, I’m afraid. Seriously! Enough already.

Went to Emporia and had lunch at Applebee’s and then went to Walmart. I think half of Emporia chose to go there while I was there. They moved the parking for on-line pickup orders to their regular parking lot and parking is hard to find now.

I got some flowers to decorate graves with and some groceries and got out of there. The check-out wasn’t too backed up but getting to my car and out of the parking lot felt like I was risking my life.

Kathy had gone to the movies with some friends. When she got home she went over to our neighbor that had volunteered to work on the lawn mower to see if he was able to fix it. He was not. He said the engine was ruined. I bought the mower when I moved in here two years ago!

Kathy and I went to Walmart to get a new one. I always get overwhelmed when I look at the selection and am not sure what to do. I asked the clerk if there was someone that could help me. She said what do you need help with. I told her I had questions about the mowers. She said she would call someone to help me.

Five minutes later I went to find her and she was talking to two other clerks. She saw me and said oh, I forgot.

Kathy and I picked one out and I went to get the clerk to tell her we needed help lifting it and putting it in the car. I asked her if I could pay and then go move my car. She said she had to have the mower at the register to ring it out.

I handed Kathy my card and went to get my car and moved it close to the garden center. When I came back in Kathy had just checked out. They were going to send us out with it without helping to load it.

I asked for help and they sent one little girl to help us load the 88 pound mower box into my car.

Walmart – do better!

Kathy is putting it together and is to call me if she needs help. We got a battery powered one. I trust it will last longer than two years.

I hate buying things like this as I have no understanding of all the extras and details about them. I’m not interested in learning about them either.

I must be cranky again! Two trips to Emporia in one day will do that to me. Kathy was nervous about the yard getting mowed and I knew I needed to take care of the lawn mower situation. Grateful that is taken care of. I just hope we can figure out how to run the damn thing and that it works.

Tomorrow we plan on doing the cemetery run unless it is raining. If it rains, we will try again Sunday. Monday I have a reunion to go to if I can make myself go. Wednesday I have the colonoscopy that I should be well prepared for since I have been read the instructions three times and have them printed out for me to read too.

Life feels a bit hard to me right now. I am working to release some energy I have picked up that isn’t mine to carry. Sometimes that process takes longer than I feel like it should. Grateful I recognized what I had done and am working to release it.

Grateful for our neighbor that attempted to work on the old mower, grateful there were mowers in stock, and grateful the sun came out to shine this afternoon.

I went to the Detention Center to meet with the reporter and some of the staff. All the reporter wanted was a photo of me with three of the staff from the Center. That is worse for me than being interviewed!

We did stand around and visited for a bit. I asked the Sheriff, Captain and the Lieutenant for some ideas of what Love in Action can do next. Father’s Day is coming up as is the 4th of July. I also told them we would do another bigger project if they can think of one.

I asked today to make sure I understood it correctly that the Detainees are never allowed to go outside. That is true. There is a window in the exercise room that can be opened on nice days but it is a high window and all the Detainees can see is the sky. I can’t imagine never being able to look outside or go outside for years at a time.

I then asked if they had ever priced adding a yard for the Detainees to go outside into. They had and the requirements are prohibitively expensive. They are talking Guards’s towers, outside restrooms, special fencing, etc. Nothing is ever as simple as I think it should be. Can’t blame me for asking though.

The reporter and his photographer were nice people. He asked a few questions and I am not sure what angle of story he is writing. The Captain said the reporter is supposed to send us all a copy of the story before it is published.

I went to the Grand for lunch and then came home. I hadn’t been home long when the couple I met on the Camino that live in CA FaceTimed with me. I hadn’t seen their sweet faces for months. It was so good to see them. She is taking chemo for lung cancer. She said the only side effect she has from the chemo is fatigue. She sleeps 12 hours every night and then takes a three hour nap every afternoon.

I took a long chair nap this afternoon. The session at the Center drained me today. My reserve tank seems to be running low these days.

I got a request from a detainee to be a pen pal. I got her matched up and sent her a welcome post.

I got an email from the young man that came over from Germany. His I130 was approved. That is the pathway to citizenship via marriage. Now he has to wait for his green card to be approved and then he can be released and reunite with his family and stay in the USA. He isn’t sure how long it will take for his green card to be approved. The branch that does that is not used to working with someone that is detained. Why he can’t be released now is beyond my understanding but most things related to immigration is these days.

I didn’t make it to Emporia today. I will need to go tomorrow as I need flowers for the cemetery run we are making this weekend. I also need some groceries. Nicole and Geoff have birthdays next week and I need to get something to send them in their cards and get the cards off. They may not get them next week even if I get them sent tomorrow.

It has been a cool, cloudy day. I had to turn the furnace back on and have had my little space heater running all afternoon. I miss the sunshine! We needed the rain but I am ready for blue skies and sunshine again. I will be complaining about the heat soon though. Guess I am hard to please!

Tomorrow I will go to Emporia and take care of some errands. One day this weekend we will do the cemetery thing and then I have a family reunion to go to Monday. Monday begins my colonoscopy prep. I’ll have to read the instructions to see what I can eat that day. Wednesday is my colonoscopy and then if I feel up to it a meeting that evening in Emporia.

Feeling good about the great news from the pen pal from Germany. Rarely do Detainees get released so that feels huge! Wonder if I will get to transport him to his home in Junction City when he gets released? That would be a fun transport. I am betting his wife will come get him as she hasn’t seen him in person since last December.

Hoping I can find some motivation soon to get some things done. This whole month has almost slipped by and I don’t think I did much of anything the whole month. Not sure why I have been so drained lately. It is what it is and I am grateful I have had the time to take a bit of a time-out and allow my body to move at the pace it wants to move – which is like a turtle speed.

Grateful for the good news from the pen pal today, grateful for reporters that tell others the stories behind the headlines, and grateful for a long chair nap.

Another non productive day. Sleep was weird last night as I kept waking up to change my dream channel. I got lots of sleep, just in bits and pieces. Most of the time I could go back to sleep fairly quickly.

I got word from the Detainee that I wrote about yesterday. He had his hearing today and nothing was decided yet again. His next hearing is June 19. The judge did tell him there may be a decision on his I130 case but that branch of Immigration will communicate the results of that to him via letter. He is still detained.

He sent me a nice note thanking me for the support. I had told him over 10,000 people (it is now over 15,000) have read the note I posted on Facebook. He said he didn’t know there were that many people out here that cared about the immigrants.

I wrote a couple of posts for Love in Action. I had to rewrite one of them several times as I didn’t want my anger to show. I got tired of the responses that told me what to do for him when I can’t take those actions. Man it is hard to sit with bearing witness and not “fix” it. I found myself doing that as I read the comments – wanting to “fix” the person telling me what to do rather than sit with what was being said. Good lesson in there for me.

Kathy had to take the lawn mower to our neighbor again as she couldn’t get it started again. If he can’t fix it this time and it stays working I will need to get a different one and sell this one. It is too frustrating for Kathy to deal with a mower that won’t start. She has had nothing but trouble with this one since we first got it two years ago.

Talked to Nicole for a bit today. Just what my heart needed! She helped remind me about dealing with people. I needed that reminder today!

A new friend commented on my blog post last night. It felt like a hug! Again, the universe is providing what I need!

The place where I am having my colonoscopy called me again today to go over the rules. Evidently they have problems with people not following them as this is the second time they have called me. The nurse went over them with me too and I have them printed out. The lady told me to bring the paperwork with me and I told her I hadn’t received it. She put me on hold and came back and said they had forgot to send it out. I told her maybe it would be better for her to call her own office and remind them of what needs to happen instead of me! She gave me several alternative ways to do the paperwork after first telling me I needed to come to their office and pick up a set. I told her that wasn’t going to happen as I am almost 100 miles from there and I was not going to make a trip to Topeka for their mistake. I have half a notion not to do the alternative paperwork and go empty handed. This is on them. I had to fill out the same paperwork for the doctor’s office which is across the hall from the procedure room. If they need it that bad, they can walk across the hall and get it.

Can you tell I am still a bit cranky today? I think I almost have solid ground under me again but the nurse called and triggered me again. It has been hard for me to refill myself today.

Tomorrow I have an interview with a reporter and the Captain of the Center. Trusting I will find the words that I need. I do not want this story to be about me – I want it to be about the work that is being done.

Saturday Kathy and I will probably do the cemetery run if it isn’t raining. We can put if off till Sunday it if is raining Saturday. I need to go to Emporia tomorrow afternoon and get some groceries and flowers for the graves.

Monday I have a family reunion to go to and Wednesday is my colonoscopy. I have to start prepping for it Monday.

It will do me good to have to get out of the house tomorrow. I really need to be around people more but it is getting increasingly difficult for me to make myself get out and about. The energy of the world is crazy right now! Things must be coming to a head and are going to explode soon.

Grateful the universe provided for me today in several ways, grateful for the sleep I got last night, and grateful I have to get out of the house tomorrow.

I don’t think I got more than one hour of sleep last night. One of those nights. I did take a nap this afternoon but am still very tired and cranky. Maybe tonight I will crash and burn and sleep the clock around. I can’t remember the last time that happened and I am way overdue.

The post about the guy from Germany blew up today. There has been a big discussion about why he was not able to claim citizenship through his bio father. I was called a liar, I was told I made up the story because that can’t happen, etc. etc. I finally blocked two of the people commenting and turned off comments.

People know what they know and when they hold on to what they know as truth and not opinion you can’t convince them otherwise. There is small print in the law that obviously this guy’s father didn’t do for what ever reason. I don’t feel it is my place to ask him to explain all the detains. That misses the whole point of the post anyways!

One lady sent me 20 PM’s questioning and pushing and wanting to get legal involved. She is absolutely convinced he is qualified and the guy needs to file a protest. Enough already!!! I would think if that had been possible it would have already been done years ago.

The good news that has come from all of this is that Anne, that is running for the US Senate seat for KS is an immigration attorney and is going to do a prerecorded video of the nuances of immigration law. I asked people to submit questions and when we have a few, she will record a video and answer the questions. I don’t think it will stop the ignorance but at least I could direct people back to the video.

The reporter I spoke to last week called me this morning. He is going to attempt to meet up on-line somehow with the guy from Germany and get some questions answered. I explained how Inmate Sales works and how to get through. He later sent me a message that he had read all of the Love in Action Facebook page and had found someone else that was willing to be interviewed.

I am meeting with the reporter and Jay at the Detention Center on Thursday. The reporter is going to do a stand alone story about Love in Action. We shall see how that goes.

Some days I wonder if I should be doing all this. I felt attacked today and had to keep reminding myself some people are ignorant and don’t deserve my energy. Not sure how I say that on-line though! I finally turned off the comments to stop the incoming. Once one person makes a comment, others tend to follow quickly behind. Must be a lot of sheep out there today!

People do have strong feelings about immigration. I get that. What I struggle dealing with is their anger and how they use those strong feelings and attack the wrong person or thing. I wish they could step out of their anger and get into problem solving and step into love. The world would be a better place if they could.

Made chicken and rice for lunch today. At some point during the night I got up and set out some chicken so I could make lunch for myself today. It was cold out today and a good day to have the oven on.

I still have my pajamas on. I have never woke all the way up today and pajamas seemed to fit my mood. I had no plans to go anywhere so why not make it a pajama day.

No plans for tomorrow. I may need to go to town and get some groceries but we shall see if I can make that happen. Somedays I struggle to leave the house. Thursday I have the interview at the Detention Center late morning. Then I have nothing on my calendar through the weekend. Monday I have a family reunion I can go to if I find the energy to go. One day this weekend Kathy and I will do the funeral run and decorate graves.

Not an easy day today for me. I find navigating comments very hard. I can’t judge what is behind the comment – are they questioning to learn or are they questioning to stir the pot. I assume innocence until they prove otherwise. The only problem with that is then others jump on board and it gets muddy and hard to navigate. Maybe I need to leave comments turned off all the time.

Grateful for Anne and her proposal to do a video, grateful for 99% of the readers that leave positive comments, and grateful today is almost over and tomorrow is a new day.

This has been an unsettled day for me. Probably the weather as a big front is pushing through. It makes me feel like I am going to explode. Maybe I am the tornado that they are forecasting for this area later tonight.

Got permission to share the story of the man from Germany that is being held at the Detention Center. I made the following post on the Love in Action Facebook page.

“One of our Pen Pals has given me permission to share his story. He was brought to the US from Germany by his father who was a US Soldier when he was 16 years old. He is married and has an 11-year-old son. He has been detained at the Chase County Detention Center since December, 2025.

He applied for 130 status (Married to a US citizen) as a pathway to citizenship three or four years ago. He is now in a quagmire as ICE is holding him but they do not have jurisdiction over 130 cases. He has an ICE hearing Wednesday but they may not be able to make a decision and may punt the case to USCIS and he may have to stay detained until they make a ruling. That may take another couple of years.

Please remember we are bearing witness to these stories. We cannot fix the situation. He has a legal team that is working on his behalf but the system is broken and running years behind.

I would invite you to sit with whatever feelings this brings up for you. May those feelings propel you towards being more compassionate and finding ways to take positive action.

You may share this post so others may hear first hand stories of how the US is treating our immigrants.”

I have a feeling it is going to go viral as it has already been shared 33 times and it has only been up for an hour. People need to hear what is happening with first hand stories.

I let the reporter that I talked to Friday know that the Detainee is willing to share his story. The reporter is coming Thursday to meet with Jay and I. Jay is the Captain of the Detention Center. Not sure what angle the reporter is taking. Doing interviews is my least favorite part of doing this project – well that and fundraising.

I went out to lunch today and deposited a donation check I had received in the mail today. Working on doing some laundry but other than that I cannot settle much and get anything done. I was able to write the above post. Sometimes writing things out and getting it out can help me settle but that didn’t happen today.

Someone asked permission to pass along my name and phone number to someone in IL. It has something to do with the Detention Center but not sure what. That request has happened before and rarely does anyone ever call.

One of those days that I could fall into the muck pond rather easily. Doing my best to avoid that. The pain that others have to carry is so heavy and it takes a lot of conscious awareness for me to not pick it up and carry it. It helps no one if I do that and only serves to lower my vibration. Then I am of no service to anyone – myself included. Hard not to get angry at what is happening though. I am giving myself time to allow those feelings of anger and fully feel them and allow them to be heard. Then I will find solid ground inside and rise and continue working with Love in Action and all it brings me.

Grateful for the bravery of the man that is willing to share his story, grateful for reporters willing to tell the story behind the headlines, and grateful for Love in Action as an outlet for my love.

This has been a very quiet day at home. I had to look down at myself to see if I had gotten dressed this morning – I had. that type of day!

I am sitting with my feelings about one of the Pen Pals I am writing to. I am stepping in for someone that is out of the country for this month.

He was brought to the US as a child from Germany. He has applied for 130 status which is to become a US citizen as a spouse of a US citizen. That is handled by a separate branch of the Department of Homeland Security than the immigration cases. Not sure why he was picked up by ICE but has already been detained for several months.

He has an ICE hearing the 20th but he is not sure what they can do. ICE doesn’t get involved in 130 cases. They probably can’t release him though. The department that handles his 130 case is running years behind.

There is a possibility he will have to remain detained until his 130 ruling is made. He has run out of funds to pay for more attorneys as he has already spent thousands. He wants to voluntarily deport as he sees that as a better outcome than sitting in detention for another couple of years. But he is not sure ICE will allow that.

What a quagmire for him. Wonder how many others are in this same position? So many don’t have a clear path to citizenship and others are stuck in the system that is overwhelmed and understaffed. I really wonder why the US thinks it is safer for him to be detained while his case is decided? It does make money for the system though that provides his care.

Sometimes bearing witness is hard! I tend to be an action oriented person and one that wants to find solutions. I can’t solve this one and I am limited as to what I can do to help. I can sit with my feelings and allow them to motivate me to more compassionate action towards others.

I have asked his permission to share his story on Love in Action. I also know a reporter that might be interested in doing a story on him. I will see what the Detainee says and go from there. Maybe we can put some public spotlight on his case and help that way.

Found a volunteer to take care of one of the Pen Pals that has been waiting for a bit to get matched. I had sent his letter to another volunteer and for some reason she has not responded to my questions and I don’t know what is happening. The new volunteer doesn’t have the letter the Pen Pal wrote telling his story and I didn’t keep a copy of it (lesson learned). At least he now has a match. I will be interested to see if he responds to her since it has been so long since he requested a pen pal.

Feeling a bit uneasy today. The weather is ramping up to bring in some storms. We shall see how much rain we get from them. Fingers and toes crossed that tornados and hail are not part of the storm. Sounds like the worst of it will hit tomorrow afternoon and evening.

I took a short nap this afternoon. I didn’t sleep long but it felt good to lay down for a bit. I trust I will be able to sleep tonight but I don’t have any plans all week so will sleep whenever sleep and I can match up at the same time.

I continue to sit in wonder and attempt to guess where the Love in Action project might take me. I did order some business cards today that have our new 501(c)3 number on them. I like to give them to the people I transport and hope that they reach out to me later with a rest of the story update. So far that hasn’t happened except for the father of the Palestine guy that was deported.

Grateful I know how to sit in the in-between space, grateful for the possibilities of good outcomes, and grateful for afternoon naps.

I went to Emporia just before noon today. Met Jason for lunch at Bobby D’s. We had a nice lunch together. Downtown was crowded at it was graduation day for ESU. I had sent a text invite to Michelle, Tagen and Ellexia but I didn’t hear from any of them.

After lunch I took the car through the car wash and then went to Walmart. I filled the car with gas – $58 today. I was all but out of gas today. Yikes!

Went in and got three prescriptions. Two of the three I had trouble refilling using their app. One I tried three times. It would tell me the Doctor needed to send a refill prescription. The Doctor’s site said they had sent it. The Doctor finally sent a new prescription and that fixed the problem. One of them I had ordered and three days later it didn’t show I had. I tried again and the same thing happened. Yesterday when I tried the third time it told me it was on delay. I asked about it today and found out the doctor had written it to be filled every six months instead of every 90 days. They got that fixed and were able to fill it today. However insurance changed me $10 more for a 90 day supply than they do for the six month supply and the product size is the same. WTF? I wanted out of there and didn’t ask about it.

Sometimes the things that are to be easy and simple are not so much that way. Grateful all worked out today and I was able to get them all filled and saved myself a trip to town next week.

While I was waiting in line at the pharmacy I all of a sudden didn’t feel very well. I thought I was going to pass out for a bit. I must have been at the counter for at least ten minutes and finally got what I needed and got out of there.

I had to stop at Flying J and use the restroom. Came home and was still feeling off. Laid down for a bit and then had to get up again. Finally was able to lay down and sleep for about an hour. I feel better but still not back to normal. Have no idea what this is all about.

I will be glad when I have my colonoscopy the end of the month and hopefully get some answers to why my tummy is not normal. I still haven’t heard from this doctor about the results of the MRI I had done earlier this month. Ummm….

Nothing planned for the rest of the weekend or all of next week. Have lots of empty space on my calendar right now.

Got a note from one of the banks telling me my CD was up for renewal. If I hadn’t of changed the terms I would have received over 1.5% less interest. Both banks that I had CD’s renew this week did the same thing. If I hadn’t of checked what the rates were and changed the terms I would have lost over 1% interest on each of them. Do they do this on purpose hoping people won’t check terms?

Had to turn the A/C on today. I don’t do well in a hot house. If Kathy had her way we wouldn’t run it all summer, she loves the heat.

Feeling a bit out of sorts this afternoon. Town was crowded and busy and draining. I wasn’t there any longer than I needed to be. I had thought I would pick up a few groceries but that didn’t happen. The energy in town today felt icky and thick and loud. I needed to get home and sit in silence.

Maybe I am getting old! I feel old and cranky and stiff this afternoon. Maybe it is a good thing my calendar is empty. I must need to put myself in time-out for a bit. The world feels too full of people to me today.

Grateful I was able to get all three prescriptions in one trip thanks to a helpful clerk today, grateful to have lunch with Jason, and grateful I am feeling a bit better now.

I had a fun lunch today. Four of us went to Casa Roma and celebrate a birthday. I need to remember to book lunch dates more often. So fun to gather with like-minded women and visit and laugh.

I forgot to stop at Walmart to pick up my prescriptions while I was in town. I am still waiting on them to fill one more. Hoping they can do that tomorrow and then I will go to town and pick them up.

I wrote a post on fundraising on the Love in Action Facebook page today. Every time I write a bearing witness story, people want to know how to donate. I appreciate their response but they lose the bigger point. Somehow we all have to learn how to sit and bear witness without taking immediate action to fix it. Money won’t solve most of the stories I share. It might make the donor feel better for a hot minute but it really doesn’t solve the bigger problem. I attempted to remind my readers of that point. What I would hope would happen is that the readers of the bearing witness stories will sit with their feelings that the stories bring up for them and allow those feelings to propel the reader to have more compassion for others. Money can’t buy that!

One reader of my post immediately asked me to add to each of my posts the names of some other nonprofits to donate to. I am not going to do that as again that misses the whole point. Not sure how to say that though. I commented that she would be welcome to comment and list some. She responded that I need to make an invitation for that on each post. I didn’t respond and it is not going to happen.

Thank heavens others that commented understood what I was saying and agreed with it. I keep reminding myself not to let one person get me down.

A reporter from the Wichita Newspaper called me today. The mayor of Coldwater, KS had to self report to ICE and was transferred to Cottonwood Falls. The reporter has been reporting on the mayor and somehow found out about Love in Action. We had a nice conversation. He wants to do a story about Love in Action alone plus add some of our story to the story he is writing about the incarcerated mayor. We shall see what comes of it.

The Detention Center had some conversations via email about the piece of exercise equipment. I thought it had already been ordered but it has not been. Hoping they are getting closer to making that happen. Not sure what the delay is as I told them over a month ago we had the funds to pay our half. Trusting this will get resolved soon and the equipment will get ordered.

The dogs are struggling with their haircuts for some reason. Both yesterday and today they demanded Kathy let them come into the house. Not sure if it is the rocks in their pen that feel sharp and hard now that they don’t have their coats on or if it is the heat. At least they aren’t shedding all over when they lay on the rugs.

Other than going to Walmart to get my prescriptions I have no other plans this weekend or all of next week. I need to call a friend or two and schedule lunch. It does my soul good to have deep conversation with friends.

I still wonder where Love in Action is going and what will happen with it. It seems to be on a course that is being driven by a higher power than me. I am grateful for the guidance and nudges I am getting from the Universe to help steer this program. I have no goals for it and attempt to remain open to the twists and turns it makes.

Grateful for lunch with friends today, grateful for all the interest in Love in Action, and grateful for lots of empty space ahead.

Neither Kathy nor I slept much last night. I think I was too wired from my transportation trip to Wichita and worrying if he was able to get a ticket and get on the bus. He has a long journey ahead of him to get home to CA.

I think he told me that ICE took his driver’s license and won’t return it until after his hearing on Monday. Without his license he couldn’t fly home or rent a car to drive. His English was rather broken so I didn’t put that in the write up I did as I wasn’t 100% sure of the facts. We were talking as I was driving so it made communication harder.

Getting a bus ticket is not easy and it didn’t look like the bus station was open when I dropped him off. He told me his bus was due to come in one hour and there were a few people there waiting for a bus. I trust he was able to navigate all that. Sometimes I want to take on more responsibility than I should and I made myself leave before those issues were resolved.

The post I wrote on Love in Action is going viral again. Over 7,300 views and growing hourly. Lots of new people have joined Love in Action again. I will have to do another welcome post. Wish people would browse the site when they join so I don’t have to answer the same questions all the time. People do the human thing though.

Haven’t done anything today. I attempted to take naps a couple of times but not sure I was very successful. Maybe I will crash and burn and sleep hard tonight. I am overdue for a good night’s sleep.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to Emporia to meet some friends for lunch. We may have a small group but it will be fun to get out and have lunch with who ever shows up. I need to stop at Walmart afterwards and pick up a couple prescriptions. One I have had trouble getting refilled. The pharmacy said the doctor didn’t authorize it and the doctor said they did. I finally got notice it is ready so they must have sorted it out.

No plans for the weekend and so far nothing on the calendar for next week. I’m trusting some thing will come up and fill in some of the empty space for me. I need to find a new project to start or a new volunteer job. I do better when I have a few things each week on my calendar.

The dogs wanted to come in the house this afternoon. They haven’t been inside for months. Not sure what the deal is today. Maybe they didn’t like the way the wind felt on their skin with their new haircuts. Sophia has a paw that she is favoring and Roxy has a lump that needs checked out. The things you discover when you take their coats off. I had forgotten how bad they stink when they fart. It made me get up and go outside for a bit!

I was in the muck pond for a bit today wishing I could do more to fix the immigrant problem we have in the US. I know that what I am doing helps, but it sure doesn’t feel like enough most days. Have been writing a post in my head that I will put on paper one of these days that addresses the myths vs facts of Detainees. I need to do some fact checking on a couple of things before I post. The last thing I want to do is add to the misinformation that is out there. So many people do not understand how our system works or maybe how it doesn’t work. Assumptions are made and most are not true.

Before I picked up the Detainee that was released yesterday, I had a chance to talk to a couple of the staff at the Center. I wish I could do that more often. I hate to bother them all the time though. We share a mutual respect for each other in what we are trying to do. They have a tough job and one they bring compassion to. I honor that.

Grateful for what sleep I did get last night, grateful that people are interested in the work Love in Action is doing, and grateful for a lunch with friends tomorrow.

I had to get up early this morning as I needed to have both dogs in Marion for their spa day by 8:30. I took Sophia for a walk and Kathy took Roxy and we headed over to Marion a little before 8:00. Both dogs loaded easily and didn’t seem to mind going in to the clinic for their haircuts.

Came home and did nothing for a bit. Took a nap as I was still tired. Got some good sleep early afternoon.

At 4:20 we headed back over to Marion to pick up the dogs. On the way the Detention Center called and asked if I could do a transport this evening. I told them I could be there a little after 5:30.

We got to the Vet Clinic and picked up two sweet smelling dogs. They sure look different without their fur coats on. Both dogs sacked out on the ride home. Evidently a spa day is exhausting!

Dropped Kathy and the dogs off and grabbed some snacks and a couple bottles of water and headed over to the Detention Center. I picked up a 21 year old young man that had come to the US three years ago. He entered using the proper channels and claimed political asylum. For some reason unknown to me, he was in Chicago and got picked up 60 days ago. He said they wouldn’t let him show them his papers. All of a sudden he was in handcuffs and taken in.

He lives in Sacramento, CA and needed to get to the Wichita, KS bus station. He has an immigration hearing Monday in Sacramento. Evidently, his attorney had bailed him out.

He didn’t speak a lot of English but we managed to have some conversation. He was a bit shelled shocked and traumatized I think. He seemed to relax a bit with each phone conversation he had with friends and family.

He was a bit amazed at the landscape and all the cows in the pastures. We joked about cows roaming free in the streets in India.

When we got to the bus station, I asked him if he had any cash with him. He did not. He was on the phone with his brother who spoke better English. His brother asked me if I could give him $100 cash. He then attempted to transfer $100 via Zella to me. I don’t have a Zella account and told him it was a gift from Love in Action.

I asked his brother to let me know when he gets to CA. I hope that he does so. Sometimes I don’t get to know the rest of the story. I trust his bus journey home is safe and the court hearing on Monday goes well.

I saw four deer on the way home. Luckily none of them jumped out in front of me.

Grateful I was available and able to transport this young man this evening. I learned I need to stock my car with some chargers for phones. The one I have didn’t fit his phone. It would have been nice if I could have sent one with him for his journey home. I will have to educate myself on all the different phone chargers and get some in my car.

Going to Wichita tonight was not on my Bingo card for the day. Grateful another ICE Detainee was set free and I could help him get his journey home started.

I never know what curves are ahead for me. I now know why I was prompted by spirit to stop at an ATM and get extra cash last week. I also was prompted to take a nap today. Someone, somewhere is looking after me.

Grateful the dogs are fresh and clean and ready for hot weather, grateful I was able to be in service today, and grateful for lots of miles safely traveled today.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go to the Grand for lunch, I got lucky and got to see the owner. I have been trying to connect with her for a bit so it was good to have some conversation with her.

I did a bit of paperwork this morning. One of the pen pal volunteers let me know she had been able to send her first letter to her pen pal. Love when that happens. Still waiting on two others to do so. Getting closer to getting everyone connected. I have one that the volunteer wrote but the pen pal never responded. I reached out to the pen pal but I didn’t get a response either. I think they wanted funds in their commissary account and we aren’t able to do that. We will try one more time to connect with them and then let it go.

I woke up around 6:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep so it has felt like another long day. Hope I can get up early tomorrow easily as the dogs have to be in Marion by 8:30. Will have to take them each for a walk before I load them in the car and go. They get their summer haircuts tomorrow. The meeting I had scheduled for tomorrow night got postponed so I won’t have to hurry when I pick them up tomorrow afternoon.

I have been sitting with some myths about the Detention Center that I keep hearing. There is a lot of misinformation out there about who does what and when. Not sure how to correct that or if that is my place to do so. The whole immigration policy is so broken and has so many different places that need fixed. Guess I will continue to state facts as I understand them and keep repeating myself. I may make a myth vs fact post soon.

I have learned so much about our detention policies since I started Love in Action last July. I was so naive and uninformed. I’m grateful that I get to work with one of the better Centers that do there best to treat people in a humane way.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful another pen pal match was made today, and grateful for the knowledge that I am gaining about our detention policies.

This has felt like a long day. Didn’t sleep well again last night and I was up and going by 6:30. Makes a long day when I get started that early in the morning.

I got an email from the Sergeant that handles the card and stamp program at the Detention Center. She had extra gift cards left over from our Christmas project and decided to offer them to the Detainees to send to their mother’s for Mother’s Day. She needed 30 more! She also said she needed stamps. She wanted me to get them ASAP so she could get them in the cards the Detainees had written out and in the mail.

I left for Emporia at 7:30 this morning. I went to Walmart and purchased the 30 gift cards. I also picked up the groceries I needed. Left there and went to the Post Office to get stamps. They were out of rolls of stamps so had to get the sheets of 20. They aren’t as easy to use as the rolls when you stamp 100 cards at a time but that is all the Post Office had today.

Went to a bank where I have a CD that was up to be renewed. I’m grateful I went in and didn’t let it roll over with the same terms automatically. The bank had a much better rate for a 14 month CD than the 12 month one. I completed the paperwork for that and then came home.

Got the groceries put away and then fixed up the sack of gift cards and stamps and took them to the Detention Center. Someone saw me walking in and came out to greet me and get the cards and stamps.

Am working on doing some laundry but haven’t done much else today. I received a check for a donation today but the lady forgot to sign the check. Oops. I’ve done that before! I will send her a note and ask her to sign the check. I also got a VENMO donation today.

Last night I went to take a bath and couldn’t find the book I had been reading in my chair yesterday. I looked all over the house. Kathy happened to wake up and came out of her room and asked me what I was looking for. She didn’t know where it was either but I went in her room and there it was. Kathy had asked me for a book to read earlier in the day and I gave her a different one to read. I think she must have seen my book lying around and picked it up and didn’t realize it wasn’t the one she had started. All’s well that ends well. My book was found and we found the one Kathy was reading too.

The guy that did the A/C check came a bit early this afternoon. He got the unit all cleaned up and ready for the summer. He liked the room addition. He had been here last fall and we had talked about adding heat and air to the back room. We were never able to get that done but it stayed nice and warm with the space heater. I will be anxious to know how it does this summer in the heat. I may need to get a window unit to put in back there.

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. It will be good to have a stay-at-home day. Wednesday I have to make two trips to Marion with the dogs so they can get their summer haircuts and then I have to go to Emporia for a meeting at 5:30. Friday I will be back in Emporia for a birthday lunch for a friend.

Felt good to do a Mother’s Day project for the Detainees. I hadn’t thought to do anything. I’m grateful the Sergeant thought of the idea and that I had extra cash on hand so we could make it happen immediately. Now to think of something for Father’s Day. The Center also let me know that the TV we had given them when we first started got put into use and replaced a much smaller TV in one of the pods. I wonder if they need another TV to have on hand in case one goes out.

I was reading an article about how seniors need to have a hobby when they retire. I decided that Love in Action is my current hobby. It uses my skills and keeps me focused on something positive. It doesn’t cost much for me to do my part. I think that counts as a hobby.

I got a message today from a lady that wants me to do a presentation in August for her church group. That will be fun to do and it is in Emporia so that is close enough.

Grateful for the opportunity to provide another perk for the Detainees, grateful I checked on the rate of the CD that was renewing, and grateful groceries are stocked again.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go out to lunch but that was quick and I wasn’t gone long. Other than that I really haven’t done much today. I watched a couple of movies on Netflix. One was really good. – Remarkably Bright Creatures.

Tomorrow the A/C guy is coming to get the unit ready for summer. It usually doesn’t take him long and things should be good as the unit is only two years old. The fan unit on the furnace is staying much cleaner now that we moved the litter box out of the laundry room which is where the furnace is.

One day this week I need to go to Emporia and get some groceries. I may get them in Marion when I take the dogs to get their summer haircuts on Wednesday. Marion has a nice grocery store and it would save me a trip to Emporia. I can drop the dogs off and then go grocery shopping. Hoping the dogs get done fairly early as I will have to go pick them up and then I have a meeting in Emporia at 5:30.

I do have a couple of prescriptions that I ordered refills for that I will have to pick up later this week. Hoping they will be ready Wednesday when I go to my meeting. Trying to reduce the number of trips to Emporia I make these days since gas is so high.

I actually got dressed when I got up this morning. It does help me feel a bit more productive than when I stay in my pajamas all day. Not that I did much but …..

Heard back from one of the pen pal volunteers. She had been hospitalized for three days and then her husband had to have surgery. I was glad to hear from her. She sent her pen pal a letter today and is back on track. I have two others that I sent their letters to but they haven’t written their first letter to their pen pal yet. I will need to reach out to them this week and see where they are at with them. That first letter is hard to write sometimes.

Hoping we get some more requests to be pen pals this week. I have several more volunteers waiting to be matched. I had sent a note to the Center about the program but haven’t heard anything back which is unusual. I may try to call them this week if I remember to do so. I also need to get an update on the piece of exercise equipment and find out when it might get delivered. I want to take some pictures of it when that happens.

I keep checking the IRS list of non profits and Love in Action, Inc is still not listed. I can’t refile the income tax return until it is listed. Uhm….. not too impressed with the IRS these days. Grateful they granted me official 501(c)3 status but come on and get me listed. Wonder if they are understaffed?

My mind feels empty tonight. One of those few times where I can’t hold on to a thought for long. Maybe it is a good thing that I don’t have a lot going on right now as I am not sure I could keep track of things. Not sure why or how my brain does this but it does occasionally.

Grateful for another quiet day at home, grateful I was able to get dressed this morning, and grateful the pen pal program continues to write on.

I’m still in my pajamas if that tells you how my day has gone. I woke up too early and couldn’t go back to sleep so finally got up. I did take a nap late morning and slept for 45 minutes or so. Not sure I feel rested but at least I am not as cranky as I was yesterday.

Haven’t done anything today. Don’t have much to do other than cleaning and I wasn’t in the mood for that today. Spent most of the afternoon reading a book. I haven’t done that for a long time and it felt good to read today. I usually read every night when I take a bath but today I got some extra reading time in.

One of the Pen Pals got her first note sent to her Pen Pal. That is a good thing. I had mailed her the letter about 20 days ago. She had gotten it and set it aside and had forgotten about it. Grateful I got one more Pen Pal matched and going.

Still have three more that are pending. One I knew was going to be out of town this week and one of the others lives out of state and I am thinking it is taking a bit for USPS to get the letter to her. Not sure what is going on with the other one. I know they received their letter but haven’t seen a response and they haven’t answered my emails. They might have set up a personal account and I can’t see that they are writing.

I didn’t get any new Pen Pal letters this week for some reason. I had been getting one to two or even three a week. I know the lady that passes out the cards and stamps has been out of work as her father died. Maybe she hasn’t returned to work yet.

Mother’s Day is tomorrow. For some reason this weekend is always hard for me. I don’t like Hallmark holidays and that is what this one feels like to me. My kids learned a long time ago to ignore it for me. There is something about the day that feels forced and unauthentic to me. There are so many women that the term “mother” is a trigger for them for lots and lots of different reasons. I loved my mother and remember her every day, not just on a day that I am told I have to. Guess I don’t like being told what to do! Who knew?

No plans for tomorrow except I might consider getting dressed. I have had two pajama days back to back. Getting dressed might give me some motivation to do something – then again maybe not. Monday the A/C guy is coming to do the annual check. Wednesday I have to have the dogs in Marion before 8:15 and then go back and pick them up that afternoon. I have a meeting to go at 5:30 in Emporia. Friday I am going to a lunch with some friends.

I need to figure out a way to end this self imposed isolation I seem to have put myself in. It is so hard for me being around people right now. My tolerance for small talk is below zero right now. I find it very draining to be out and about and very loud. Anyone else feeling this?

Grateful for another pajama day, grateful for one step progress on the pen pal program, and grateful for good books to read.

This has been a low energy day for me. I didn’t sleep well last night and woke up too early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I have never felt like I woke all the way up today. Took a short chair nap but still feeling tired and unmotivated. One of those days…..

I was looking for a picture of Mom to post for Mother’s Day Sunday and found our five generation picture so posted that instead. Grandma died not too long after that picture was taken and mom followed just a couple years later. Ellexia didn’t know either of them. Things do change at the blink of an eye.

I was looking at Facebook memories and came across the picture of Kathy and I with a Facebook friend of mine. We had stopped to meet her on our trip back east when Gene died. I was thinking of posting it and didn’t but thought I might come back to it. When I went to my home page my friend had posted it! Great minds think alike. That visit was one of the highlights for me of that trip back east. We had become friends through the Prayer Shawl Ministry page and somehow had connected and stayed in touch with each other. It was a joy to meet her in person. She is one of those people that you feel you have known for a lifetime. The conversation was easy and comfortable.

Nicole sent me a link to some river cruises that are on sale and asked me if I might be interested in going on one with her later this year. Of course I said yes. We haven’t decided which one yet. The link wasn’t working well and I am having trouble getting details of the cruises. It really doesn’t matter where we go though. I am in!

I’m a little frustrated with the Pen Pal program. Relying on others to do what they agree to do is hard for me. Not sure where this program is going to go and maybe I need to find someone else to manage it for me. It is way too much work for the results I am seeing. Many won’t respond to my emails – not sure if they aren’t getting them, they are going into spam or if they have changed their minds and aren’t interested any more. All they need to do is tell me and I will take them off the list. I am going to have to check my settings and see if I can get it to tell me when someone opens and reads the emails I send. Some wrote one or two letters and then haven’t written for two or three weeks.

I think the Detainees deserve someone that will regularly correspond with them on a weekly basis. Yes, life happens but communicate! Not sure what is so hard about that.

Grateful that a few of the Pen Pals are writing on a weekly basis and establishing a relationship with their Pen Pal.

Yes, I am a bit cranky today. I’m sure by tomorrow I will be back to my normal self. I’m going to let myself soak in the mud pit today and find my grounding and walk out rejuvenated tomorrow.

The girl that needed some food hasn’t come by to pick it up yet. Wonder if she is going to come yet today. Maybe something came up and she can’t come. Communication would be nice.

Good thing I stayed home today as I don’t think I could play nice with others today. I think I will put myself in time-out and stay away for all for their benefit.

I’m grateful days like this are rare for me. I can’t believe there was a time I lived in this state most of the time. It actually feels icky to me now and not “normal”. Guess I will take that as a sign of personal growth. I can only go high when I can go low. Maybe I will get a bounce and fly even higher when this day is over.

Grateful for life lessons, grateful for five generations, and grateful Facebook has allowed me to make great friends I may never or seldom meet.

Another day, another doctor’s appointment. Glad this run of three in one week is done! This one was a compliance required check of my sleep apnea machine. What a farce. But that box is checked off and Medicare will now pay for the equipment.

While I was there I talked to him about the MRI results. He was rather lame about them. I asked him if there was a blood test that told them if my pancreas was working or not. There is and so I asked him if he would order it. He rather reluctantly did.

The results are back and one of the two levels is elevated. He said he would leave it to the GI doctor to go from here. He did promise to send them the results.

I feel like I am a dog chasing my tail. Where does this lead? Maybe it isn’t anything to worry about? Wish I could find a doctor that was curious. My concern is when a pancreas goes bad, things can go downhill very fast. Guess preventative medicine isn’t practiced these days so much.

The GI doctor’s office hasn’t called with the MRI results yet. Not sure they will. My next scheduled visit with them is for the colonoscopy the end of May. Maybe things will stay stable until then?

Had lunch with Jason today. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids.

I stopped and filled the car up on my way home. It was almost $50 to fill it up. Yikes! How do people on a low or fixed income afford to drive these days? I know I am attempting to reduce the amount of trips I make to Emporia these days.

I noticed I have a small amount of hail damage on the hood of my car. I’m not surprised as we have had at least three different rounds of hail this spring already. I won’t turn it in to insurance as the damage isn’t that bad. I don’t want my rates to go up over that.

No plans for the rest of the week and into next week. Monday A/C. Wednesday I take the dogs to Marion for their summer haircuts and then go pick them up in the afternoon. Wednesday evening I have a meeting to go to at 5:30. Friday I have a lunch to go to.

A friend dropped by with a sweet surprise for Kathy and I. While we were talking she said she has also noticed being around others is draining these days. Glad I am not the only one that would rather stay home than be around people these days.

I had gotten a bunch of food when I had found someone that was to build a blessing box I was going to put in my yard. The lady never came through with building the blessing box and the food has been sitting there. I saw a note from someone I kinda know today saying they were in a bind due to an accident and needed food. She is coming to get it tomorrow. Yay! Grateful it will get to someone that needs it and I will free up a shelf in my back room pantry.

Looking forward to a couple days at home. I was able to not get drained being out for three days in a row this week which was a good thing. Today at lunch though I noticed how loud it was and I was grateful to get out of there. My system is very sensitive right now for some reason. I am not tolerating chaos and noise very well.

Grateful for lunch with Jason, grateful for a sweet treat from a special friend, and grateful I can provide some food for a friend.