Starry night on the prairie

This has felt like a long day. I didn’t sleep much last night. Got up at 3:00 and was up for a couple of hours. Tried again at 6:00 and gave up at 8:00.

I left the house at 11:00 and headed to Emporia. First stop was at Walmart to pick up the new prescriptions. One of them is free if I only get 10 at a time. This Doctor prescribed 40 so I had to pay. WTF? Between the two I paid over $119 for drugs today.

I am discussing with the Center what to do for our September event and it was suggested we do a donut and chocolate milk. I stopped at Dunkin’ and priced 200 donuts. Yikes! With tax it will be almost $300. They don’t have the storage space to order an extra 200 chocolate milks. I priced Walmart and that will be another $300. $600 for a donut and a jug of chocolate milk for 200 people – not sure the value is there. We did pizza for 200 people for $651. Back to the drawing board.

I had other errands to run so didn’t get groceries. Next stop was at my hairdressers. Every Christmas I always purchase a bag of Peppermint bark chocolates for him. When I was in Costco yesterday they had them in stock with their Christmas goodies so picked up a bag for him. He won’t be in business at Christmas time so this will be the last time I get him a bag.

Met Michelle and Jason at Bobby D’s for lunch. Michelle needed a check to pay a bill and so she gave me cash and used a check. Always a good day when I get to see one or more of my kids. I had a phone conversation with Nicole this afternoon so hit the trifecta with my kids today. Love those type of days!

Came home and posted another idea of a way we can support the Detainees at the Center. I want to put together Go Bags for our friends that are being deported. Some have family that bring them the allowed suitcase of belongings but many do not. They get deported with whatever they were wearing when they were picked up. For many that is a T-shirt, shorts and sandals. Most have a phone with them but no chargers.

I have opened a hornet’s nest of sorts. I am going back and forth with the Center as to what might be allowed and the best way to do that. My supporters are 100% behind the idea and I have gotten all sorts of texts, PM’s and emails of suggestions of ideas. This will be a constant, huge project if we take it on. The Center deported over 1,500 people last year. We won’t need Go Bags for all of them but I estimated it will cost approximately $60 for one bag stocked with a charger and adapter, clean underwear and socks, a sweat shirt or hoodie and a pair of sweat pants, a blanket, and a toiletry kit. We shall see where this little idea goes.

Finding space for storage, time to assemble, raising thousands of dollars, etc. will all be issues that will need to be worked out. Hoping a local church or the food pantry might offer some space. What have I done this time? I also suggested in my post that churches across Kansas might be interested in gathering the supplies for the Go Bags.

It scares me a bit about people improvising and substituting or adding things not approved. I will have to be very clear about what can and cannot be put in them.

I will have to prioritize our projects and funding. Stamps and cards will remain our number one priority. Recreational equipment second, special events third and Go Bags for both the released Detainees and the deported fourth. We may be joining the big leagues and may need to fund raise full time in order to do all of the projects fully.

I didn’t stop for groceries after lunch. I will go back later this week and get what I need. I didn’t have anything urgent on the list and I have nothing else on my calendar until the end of next week so will need an excuse to go to town later this week.

I took a nap again this afternoon. I am afraid I am starting a cycle with napping most days. We shall see where this leads. Sure wish there was a magic pill to make sleep happen when I want it to and not randomly happening on its schedule.

No plans the rest of the week. Looking forward to some quiet space at home. Lots to think about and plan and dream about.

The supplies for the gift bags for the staff at the Center are starting to arrive so will need to put together a work day soon and get those assembled and delivered. Still need to get a few more things to finish them up. The bags were a bit bigger than I expected so need to find some fillers so the bags won’t look so empty.

I am amazed at all the offers of support for the Go Bags for the deported Detainees. People are so incredibly generous when given a need they can understand. We shall see what happens.

Grateful to have spent time with all three of my kids today, grateful for all the haircuts I got from my hairdresser before he retired, and grateful for the overwhelming support of the idea of Go Bags for the deported Detainees.

I left for my doctor’s appointment around noon. Got there early but they called me back early. The nurse did my vitals and then I waited for almost 30 minutes.

The PA I saw seemed to know her stuff. I didn’t get a diagnosis though, just more pills to treat symptoms. Because the two things I complained about only happen sporadically, I guess it is hard to diagnose? One of them creates a quality of life issue and the other I can proceed as normal but can’t eat or drink for 8 – 10 hours. We shall see if the medication helps. If not, I will push for something else.

We did have a nice conversation about traveling. She had gone to New Zealand and Italy and we talked about that. She was a bit loud but easy to talk to.

After I left I went to Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Costco. Costco didn’t have one of the items I went for but I managed to find other things I didn’t know I needed. Came home after that. It was an easy trip to and from although the Turnpike has about four construction zones to go through.

I filled up with gas at Costco but I should have filled up in Emporia. I would have saved $0.20 a gallon. Not sure why but Emporia always seems to have the cheapest gas around.

I noticed Costco now carries Coke in plastic bottles at a much cheaper price than I can get them at Walmart. If we do a bottle of Coke again for the Detainees, it might be worth a drive to Wichita to buy them there.

Took a nap when I got home as I felt exhausted. I may not sleep tonight but even without a nap I may not sleep. I take sleep whenever it finds me.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia and pick up the prescriptions. Am going to have lunch with Michelle. She has something she needs me to do for her and since I have to go to town we might as well make a lunch out of it. Costco had the treat I always buy for my hairdresser as a Christmas present so I will take that to him while I am in town since he won’t be cutting hair at Christmas time.

I might stop and get a few groceries. I can’t think of too many things I need so may not bother with the couple things I need. By the end of the week, I might need an excuse to get out of the house as I have nothing on my calendar for the next ten days or so.

It was a bit frustrating at the doctor’s office. I had anticipated that they wouldn’t be able to tell me what was wrong and have a definite plan of treatment. My body didn’t read the rule book and tends to present in weird ways that stump the docs. I’m not always sure more pills solve anything, especially when they don’t know what is wrong. Sure, it might make me feel better for a moment but does it really fix the real problem?

Maybe I need to be grateful there is nothing seriously wrong, just some very challenging and annoying symptoms. I will work to get to that space. Accept what is! Is that my new mantra?

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful for a nap today, and grateful I get to have lunch with Michelle tomorrow.

I woke up to the sound of something crashing. I yelled for Kathy to make sure she hadn’t fallen. She hadn’t. I went in my bathroom the thing holding up my soap dispenser thingy had fallen off the wall of the shower. Luckily, none of the dispensers broke. I texted Phil and he is going to come over and screw it to the wall. It was just glued when it was put up two years ago.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to pick up two prescriptions I had ready. Kathy also had one so I got her prescription too.

It sprinkled off and on both to and from Emporia. It never did rain much. It was in the lower 80’s today which was a nice break from the heat.

I got six thank you notes written. One was a PM and the others I put in the mail box. Good to have those caught up.

Tomorrow I have to be at a doctor’s appointment in Wichita at 1:15. I will probably go early and have lunch before. I will stop at Costco afterwards. Trusting they can find some answers for my tummy issues.

The rest of the week is empty space so far. I do have some little things around the house that I need to take care. Maybe a week of empty space will allow me to get those things taken care of.

I do need to finalize what we are doing at the Center for our September event. The Center usually needs two weeks notice if they need to order something for the event. One of the Detainees asked for donuts but not sure how we would handle that for the diabetics. I think they also get them occasionally already. Maybe the Sergeant that I work with has some ideas too.

This little project of Love in Action keeps me on my toes sometimes. I don’t think it takes much of my time but sometimes it feels like it takes over. After I get the September event planned, things should quiet down for a bit.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley. Things feel easy when I am in this valley. I never know how long it will last and I will get to stay here. I have learned to cherish every moment that it lasts.

Grateful for Phil and all he can do, grateful the thank you notes are done, and grateful for this peaceful valley.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day where I didn’t do much. I took a nap this afternoon and probably slept too long but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Three more people donated to the Facebook Fundraiser so I met my goal of raising $800. I ended up not spending that much as the pizza was on sale. I am deeply humbled by all the donations. Others also donated in other ways so we are set with cash for right now. Next week I need to firm up plans for our September special event and also start working on a budget for the rest of the year. Depending on what we decide to do, we may not need a fall fundraiser.

I was up during the night for a couple of hours and took the chance to respond to all the birthday greetings. I have a few more that came in today to respond to. So many people took a moment out of their busy day to send greetings. I appreciated each one of them.

No plans for tomorrow. I may go to Emporia to pick up something but haven’t decided yet. I will see how I feel in the morning. Somedays I can get out of the house and some days I can’t. I have to go to Wichita Monday so need to reserve energy for that.

Luckily the rest of the week is empty space. Maybe one of these days I will get some cleaning done. It is almost to the point of driving me crazy which means I need to get some things cleaned up.

Feel like I am back in my peaceful valley today. I stepped out of it for a bit but it feels good to be back. I have yet to figure out what draws me out and what draws me back. Recognizing where I am helps though. I have learned to be careful about what conclusions I come to when I am out of bounds. My intuition isn’t as sharp and it is harder to think things through.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful to be back in my peaceful valley of life, and grateful for a long afternoon nap.

This has been a day full of God winks or glimmers as some people call them. Coincidences I can’t explain!

Two people added to the Birthday Fundraiser on the Love in Action Facebook page today. The total that people contributed to the cost of the pizza for the Detainees through the Facebook post alone was $656. The pizza cost $651. Mind blow number one for the day.

The pizza was on sale at $12 a pizza instead of the normal $15. That saved me over $150 as I ordered 50 pizzas. A God wink?

Other people also send funds using other methods. I think I have enough cash on hand to fund most of our fall and winter special events at the Detention Center depending on what we choose to do.

I got a call from the Detention Center. Someone had mailed a donation for Love in Action to the Detention Center and put Attn: Kay on the envelope. I went and picked that check up and it was for $500! Mind blow number two. For it to have arrived on my birthday – what a gift.

Jason invited me to lunch so Kathy and I drove in. When I got to the restaurant to meet him, Michelle was there too. Another glimmer!

My phone and iPad have been pinging all day with all the notes and texts people have sent wishing me a happy birthday. I am loved and I so appreciate all the ways people have showed it today.

Kathy and I stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home and picked up a DQ birthday cake. We each enjoyed a piece of it this afternoon. I kinda like turning 73! Lots of love, attention and special treats.

My friends from California that I met while I was walking the Camino eleven years ago FaceTime with me today. It is always a special day when they call and we catch up with each other. Carolyn is undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Tom is turning 90 in September.

They reminded me that eleven years ago today I flew to Paris to begin my Camino de Santiago adventure. Absolutely the best travel experience I have done so far. I am so grateful for all the lessons the Camino had to teach me. I still practice what I learned most everyday.

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a doctor’s appointment. I will enjoy lunch at Chipotle while I am there and will stop at Costco and restock. Trusting the doctor will have some solutions to my tummy issues.

The rest of next week is empty space. I do need to figure out what we are doing at the Center for Labor Day and get whatever we are doing ordered. The person that I coordinate all this with at the Center has been at a conference all week and just got back today. Hoping I can catch up with her next week and get our plans made for all the special events for the rest of the year.

Sitting with a heart full of love this evening. It was a perfect birthday filled with special memories and special people and special treats.

Grateful for all the ways people loved on me today, grateful for lunch with two of my kids, and grateful the Detainees are enjoying a pizza treat tonight.

This has been another quiet day. I did go to Emporia this afternoon to pick up the things I couldn’t make myself get yesterday..

I spent some time this morning sorting the clothes for the released detainees. I need some 2 gallon zip lock bags to put each set in so they stay organized. I ordered some and they will be here Tuesday. I figured out what I still needed and updated the gift registry. I had missed a couple of things when I created it the first time.

I got a tote today to store everything in. The backpacks I ordered are perfect and everything fits with room to spare. I picked up a box of Tampons today and will add a couple to each of the women’s toiletry bags.

Got a request from a detainee for garlic sauce with the pizza for tomorrow. Two problems – cost and availability. Each packet costs $0.69 each and I would need 200 of them which is $150 with tax. The place I am ordering the pizza from, doesn’t have 200 on hand. I will consider adding it for next time but not sure the value is there for the cost. Dang, this gets complicated sometimes.

Have washed and dried the sheets from my bed but haven’t gotten it made yet. Best get that done so I don’t forget and go to bed without getting it done. I have done that before and it is frustrating.

Had a great conversation with Nicole today. We went deep today which we do occasionally. Love those types of conversations. She is ordering foreign money for our trip in November for us. I could probably figure out how to do that but it is easier to let her do it. We are going to six different countries and I think need four different currencies. Wonder how I will keep all that straight? Good thing I have Nicole with me.

Nicole said the Danube River is running very low right now and most of the cruises are having to bus it for part or even most of the cruise. We shall see what happens for us. I dislike long bus rides but will do what we have to do to get from Point A to Point B. Maybe they will get their fall rains and the river will be up when we go in November.

No plans for tomorrow except to go pay for the pizza. They are having a buy one get 50% on the second one. That will save me 25% on the cost which is a nice bonus. 50 pizzas get expensive!

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a follow up visit with the office that did my colonoscopy. Trusting they will have some answers for me and a solution to my tummy issues. Since I will be in Wichita I will get to have lunch at Chipotle and then stop at Costco and pick up a few things.

Sitting in a quiet mind space today. One of those days where I can’t hold on to a thought very long. I feel more like an observer of my life than a participant.

Grateful for the phone call with Nicole today, grateful the Go Bag project is almost organized, and grateful for this slow, quiet time in my life.

I went to Emporia this morning. Stopped and had breakfast at Commercial St Diner. My favorite waitress was working and I got to sit at one of her tables. She always remembers what I eat and drink.

After breakfast I went to the post office and mail a package to my Aunt Marylyn. She called me last night and told me my cousin had seen the article about Love in Action in the paper Sunday. She wanted to hear about it.

I took the car through the car wash after I left the post office and then went to Walmart to pick up my prescriptions. I had a couple other things on my list but wasn’t in the mood to get them. Nothing was urgent so I came home.

Took a nap after I came home as I was exhausted. Not sure why but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Haven’t done much this afternoon and evening. I need to sort and pack up the donated goods for the go bags for Love in Action but that hasn’t felt urgent enough to do today. Hopefully I will get that done tomorrow as I don’t have anything else on my calendar.

Last night when I was opening all the packages that have arrived and getting them ready to wash I found a small package. I hadn’t remembered ordering anything that small. When I opened it I discovered some plastic piercing shafts for a penis. Kathy and I laughed big over that! Yes, we had to look up pictures on how they are used. Yuck!

They definitely pulled the wrong item. When I sort things out tomorrow I will see if I can figure out what I didn’t get that I should have. This makes me wonder if the Captain has ever gotten something quite unusual from one of my donors. I’ll have to warn him about what happened to me.

Nothing on my calendar until next Monday when I have a follow up appointment in Wichita with the Doctor that did the colonoscopy. I trust they can come up with something that will help solve my tummy issues.

I plan on going to Wichita early and having lunch and doing some shopping at Costco before my appointment. I have started a short list of things I need from Costco. It is one of the few stores I don’t mind shopping at.

I trust I will wake up feeling rested tomorrow and have some energy to do a few things around here. I feel like I have been running on low for a bit and am having trouble refilling completely. The world chaos and energy is high and I need to turn it off and focus on my own energy for a couple of days.

Grateful for the big laugh last night when I opened the small package, grateful for a good nap today, and grateful for breakfast with my favorite waitress this morning.

This has been a mostly, stay-at-home day. I did run to the post office and the bank but that didn’t take long. I did get dressed to run the errand though. If the post office had been drive-thru I probably wouldn’t have bothered dressing. TMI!

Found out the lady at the post office is being an angel and doing an act of kindness for some of the Detainees. I am finding angels everywhere I go these days. I think those are God winks or some people call them glimmers. I bet more people than not are finding quiet ways to share kindness these days.

Got two deliveries from UPS and FedEx today. Christmas in August is happening at my house! Most of the supplies to build the Go Bags are here. I need to unwrap everything and get the clothing washed up. I think I found a tote to store everything in. I will put together two backpacks except for the clothing and when I have a transport all I will have to do is grab the proper size clothing and throw in some snacks and water bottles and off I can go. I can’t wait to use the first one and see what the reaction is.

I ordered a few things so I can put together some appreciation bags for the staff at the Detention Center. Some of the things I ordered won’t be in for a bit so I won’t be able to gift them until mid September or so. I will schedule a workday and see if I can get some volunteers to come help me put them together. I think it is important to thank the people that make Love in Action happen within the Center. Without their work and help, this program wouldn’t happen.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got up and then went back to bed around 9:00. I got four texts within 60 minutes that woke me up each time. I gave up napping after a bit. Maybe I can go to bed tonight and sleep all night.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia and pick up some prescriptions that are ready. My doctor’s office changed how you request refills. Not sure I like the new way but guess they didn’t ask my opinion. It took several days to get the refills. Good thing I try to stay two weeks ahead of what I need.

I sent a note to my website designer about some changes that need to happen with the website. When I had him change to the July month end report instead of the June report I forgot to tell him to change out the Updates at a Glance box. I need to remember to tell him what to say in that each month when he adds the new month’s end report. I also asked him to create some links to the Facebook page for the stories of the transports I do. Maybe I need to add the full stories on the website too. I will continue to play with the site and see what fits. I have a tendency to add too much and then I am not sure people read it all.

The place where I am getting the pizza for Friday called. They wanted to divide it into two different days and orders like we did last time. I had them talk to the person that has to handle all that within the Center and let them sort it out. I don’t think it was going to work for the Center for them to divide the order. I had asked them when I ordered it if they could do it all on the same day and they said yes. They must have had second thoughts. I don’t know how they keep them all hot if we pick up 50 pizzas at once. Figured they had some tricks they could use. I’m sure they don’t deal with that big of an order very often.

It seems like most things I attempt to do has consequences that cause problems for someone that I did not anticipate. Grateful most of the time we can work through them and make things work. I think it is good that I don’t always know what the consequences are going to be for all involved or I might not have the courage to do what I do.

I have greatly enjoyed a quiet day at home. I got some little things taken care of and my desk cleaned off. Not sure I discovered what I felt like I was behind on but that feeling is gone tonight. I feel more grounded than I have for a bit. My soul needs lots of quiet space to reset and ground. Grateful I have most of this week to continue to reset.

Grateful for all the gift registry things that came in today, grateful to discover an unexpected kindness someone is doing for the Detainees, and grateful for my website designer.

I had a busy couple of hours in Emporia. I picked up Ellexia from one of her friend’s house that lives in the country. I stopped and filled the car up with gas on our way into town. Then I took the car through the car wash.

I had a haircut at 11:00. We got there a bit early and he was able to take me right in. We got done around 11:20. This was my last haircut from this hairdresser as he is retiring in three weeks. Darn I hate the thought of breaking in a new one.

Then Ellexia and I went and had a pedicure. I had one toe that still had polish on from the last one we did earlier in the summer. It is nice to have all ten toes painted again. I love when the lady rubs my calves – she could do that for the whole thing as far as I am concerned.

After our pedicure we went to Bobby D’s and Jason joined us for lunch. After lunch I took Ellexia home and then I came home. I feel like I got a lot done during this trip to town.

The UPS guy came with three packages that others had ordered for Love in Action. It will feel like Christmas here for the next couple of days as the packages get delivered. I will enjoy getting all the things washed up and put into tubs or else into a backpack. What a delight it will be to present a full backpack to a released detainee the next time I do a transport.

I only ordered one each of the different sizes of clothing I needed and only two backpacks. I will reorder whenever I use one to give to a released detainee. I have very limited storage space and I don’t transfer enough released detainees to keep lots on hand all the time.

I have nothing on my calendar for the next three days. I am so looking forward to the empty space. For some reason lately, I have been feeling very tired and needing lots of sleep when I can find it. I will allow myself to sleep as much as I possibly can during the next three days and see if I can get caught up. I haven’t felt fully rested for a long time.

I do need to take a deposit to the bank tomorrow. I had meant to do that today and forgot. Good thing the bank is only six blocks from my house. That won’t take long!

I still feel like I am behind on something and have no idea what. Maybe whatever it is will be dropped back into my memory banks this week and I can take care of it. Or maybe it is not even true that I am behind on something. My brain does funny things to me sometimes.

Friday is my birthday and pizza day at the Detention Center. I wish I could be with the Detainees as they get their surprise pizza party. I trust they will enjoy it as that is a treat they don’t ever get while being detained.

I want to start working on a staff appreciation gift for the staff at the Detention Center. I think I know what I want to do but it has a lot of pieces to it and I will need to price everything out. They have a staff of 75 so it adds up quickly when you do that many of anything. I don’t have a deadline to have them ready – I can take them up whenever. I think it is important to thank the staff that help make Love in Action happen and all the staff have a part to play in it through the year.

The Sergeant that handles the cards and I are brainstorming to come up with ideas for the rest of the year. I need to put together a budget and see how much what we want to do will cost and then fundraise if needed to make it happen. People are so incredibly generous when I present an idea and request funds. I balance that with over asking though as I don’t want to burn people out with me asking for things all the time.

I am attempting to find my peaceful valley again and sit in silence and quiet for a bit. Life got busy on me again and I lost my place. Trusting this week will allow me to slow way down again and sit in silence and quiet. The world noise feels loud in my ears and heart and I need to quiet that down. So much going on that I have no control over and nothing I can do about it. I need to find the quiet space where what I can do something about is front and center in my heart.

Grateful to spend time with Ellexia today, grateful for lunch with Jason, and grateful for pretty toes again.

It has been a long day. I woke up later than I wanted to. I quickly took a shower, got dressed and loaded up the beef from my freezer to take to Nicole.

I headed to KC at 11:00 and met Nicole and Geoff for lunch at a Chipotle that is close to their house. We had a nice lunch and then went to their house to unload the beef.

I stayed and visited a bit more with them and then around 2:15 headed south. I went to a memorial service for the daughter of a good friend. The service was beautiful. The preacher was outstanding. I gave my friends a long hug, visited with another friend that was there for a short bit, and then headed for the hills.

I got home around 5:30 so it was a quick trip up and back. Traffic was light and I didn’t get slowed down either way very often.

I sure could take a nap about now. I may try to stay awake and go to bed early. I may fall asleep in my chair. We shall see what happens!

A donor gave a generous donation to the pizza fundraiser today. I love that we are still attracting new donors. I wish I had their home address so I could send a proper thank you note. Unfortunately I am lucky to get email addresses. Some of the platforms don’t even provide that.

Tomorrow I have a haircut at 11:00. Ellexia and I might go have pedicures after that and then meet Jason for lunch. She wasn’t sure if she was free or not. Her school starts Wednesday so my weekly lunches with her is about over. Jason isn’t free until 12:30 so I may go have a pedicure alone if Ellexia can’t join me.

I have some stamps I need to take up to the Detention Center tomorrow on my way out of town for my haircut. It was nice to have a big pile of donated stamps on hand and not have to write a check to buy some at the post office.

After tomorrow my calendar is free for the rest of the week. It will be good to have some down time. I feel like I am behind but not sure what I am behind on. I need to clean my desk up and see what is hiding in plain sight that I need to take care of.

Attending the service of a 45 year-old puts life in perspective. She left behind her 14 and 20 year old daughters. If that doesn’t make one feel grateful for the life they have had, I don’t know what would. My oldest daughter is 45 and her kids are 16 and 20 years old. There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Grateful for time with Nicole and Geoff today, Grateful for hugs from dear friends, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

I still have my pajamas on if that tells what I did today. Absolutely nothing! I got three different sleeps last night and was up for about two hours in between sleeps. Sure makes for a long night when that happens.

The third sleep was the longest and it was between 7:00 this morning and 11:00. The day goes by quickly when you get up that late. I was up from 4:00 – 7:00.

Got a note from the Sergeant that does the card program for Love in Action. She is running low on some supplies. I have lots of stamps on hand but she needed some other things. I added some things to the Amazon Gift Registry and within two hours they were all taken care of. I continue to be amazed at the generosity of the donors to Love in Action.

I also had a discussion with her about what we might do for the holidays. I appreciate her thinking of this in advance as I need to put together a budget and see how much money I need to raise. I suggested possibly doing a piece of fresh fruit – an apple, an orange or a banana. I don’t think they ever get a whole piece of fresh fruit. I also asked about us catering a Mexican meal for all. I will see if either of those get approved. We are so limited as to what we can do. All I can do is ask and I get told no often.

Our piece of exercise equipment should be in soon. They said 10 – 12 weeks and it has been 10 weeks. I will be glad when I get our half paid so I know for sure how much I have to pay and it is reflected in how much cash we have on hand. Between the $5,000 – $6,000 for the exercise equipment and the $800 – $1,000 for the pizza it looks like we have a lot more cash available than we really do.

I really appreciated all the stamps that were sent in as part of the stamp drive so I didn’t have to spend several hundred dollars to buy more stamps.

Tomorrow I am going to KC. I will go to Nicole’s house and drop off the meat and then I am going to a funeral in Olathe. I was looking at my calendar earlier and realized that over the last six weeks I have made a trip each week to either Topeka, Wichita or KC every week and for two weeks I made two trips in one week. That is a bit unusual for me. I go to Wichita on the 24th and then the next week I go to Topeka for a Doctor’s appointment and the week after that I go back to Topeka for a different doctor’s appointment. Geez, no wonder it feels like I haven’t had lots of empty space lately. Hpefully I am coming to the end of all of these out-of-town runs.

It will be fun to see Nicole and Geoff for a short bit tomorrow. I have a haircut on Monday and then my calendar is empty for the rest of the week. Wonder if it will stay that way? The last couple of weeks have been full of empty space that somehow got taken up.

It was nice to take a quiet day today and not even attempt to get anything done. I look around and see all sorts of things that need taken care of but today I said not today. I will get to them sooner or later. The dusting and cleaning can wait for another day.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful another wish list has been fulfilled quickly, and grateful I got a third sleep this morning.

I met the Captain of the Detention Center at The Grand for lunch today. We got a chance to visit and he shared his Yellowstone vacation with me. That is one place in the US that is still on my bucket list.

I found out who his replacement is going to be but I don’t know if it has been announced or not so I won’t say who it is. I was pleased with their selection.

The Captain will be around until mid September but I wanted to catch him before. Time gets away from me and I didn’t want to miss the chance to thank him for all he has done to make Love in Action possible. Without his help and grace, we would not exist.

I came home and did a few things at home and then I drove to Emporia and picked up a grocery order. I had ordered on-line a couple weeks ago and had remembered how much easier it is. I did have to wait about 15 minutes for them to bring the order to me today but it still was much easier than going in the store.

Came home and put things away. I had forgotten I have Nicole’s beef in my freezer and my freezer is full. I had ordered some frozen stuff so I had to get creative to find places for it all but I did it.

No plans for tomorrow. Sunday I am taking Nicole’s beef to her and then I am going to a memorial service for the daughter of a good friend. Another friend is also going so I will get to see her there too as a bonus.

Monday I have my last haircut with my hairdresser. The rest of the week is empty space. I am ready for that!

Got the results of my colonoscopy back and all is well. They didn’t find anything of any significance. I do have one small internal hemorrhoid which probably explains the bleeding I had back in February. I am still hoping they can identify why I have tummy issues so often and come up with a solution. Guess it is good to rule out the bad stuff and go from there. I go August 24 to meet with them and find out what they have to say.

It is fun to see all the back-to-school pictures of kids from my friends across the country. Man, these kids grow up fast. I tend to lock them in my head as the age they were the last time I saw them. It has been awhile in some cases.. I was always excited as a parent when school started back up.

Still feeling a bit ungrounded today but better than I was yesterday. I watched a video a man I respect and listen to made and I think it rocked me a bit. I don’t do well when I anticipate what might happen to our country in the future. We have dug a huge hole for ourselves and the solution is out of my understanding. I have to keep coming back to right here, right now, all is well and believe that a miracle will happen and the ship will right itself. I attempt to stay focused on my little project and let the rest go. I can’t change it and I do more good staying above neutral and doing what I can do.

Grateful the cupboards are restocked, grateful for the Captain and all he has done to allow Love in Action do what it does, and grateful for the replacement that will be promoted soon.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day complete with a nap. I feel like I haven’t had one of these for a bit and enjoyed it. I did manage to get two loads of laundry washed, folded and put away but that is about all I got done.

I have felt achy and bone tired today. Not sure what that is from but maybe my body was reminding me to take a day of rest. I never did feel like I woke all the way up today.

I was expecting someone to come over and do something for me today but so far they haven’t made it over. Maybe they will come another day.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date with a friend. Other than that, nothing is on my calendar again. I don’t have anything on Saturday either. I do need to get some groceries one of these days. I might place a Walmart order for late tomorrow afternoon and drive in and get them. I had forgotten how much easier that is until I did that a couple weeks ago.

My ear is still crackling at times. I forgot to ask the doctor to look in it yesterday. It isn’t quite as bad today so maybe it will go away on its own.

I only got one thank you note written today. I have about six more to do. I have found I have to be in the right mood to write those as words can be hard to find sometimes. I haven’t felt very grounded today so my intuition is a bit off today.

I need to figure out what Love in Action is doing for the September special event and get arrangements made. Some of the events the Center has to order the supplies and they need a two week lead time. Trying to decide what to do – maybe Labor Day? After that will be Halloween which seems to have lots of options. Thanksgiving and Christmas won’t be far behind now. I need to put together a budget and see if I need to raise funds. I will be glad when the piece of exercise equipment gets here and I pay for our portion of it so I know who much it will be for sure.

I will send some notes to our Pen Pals and ask them for ideas of what they would like. I know one of them wants a Mexican feast but not sure I can get that approved. It would be costly to provide that for over 200 people. Maybe tacos would be doable though. I hate to ask the staff to have to cook things though. Bringing food in from the outside is discouraged.

I will be gone the first two weeks of November so whatever I do for Thanksgiving for the Center will need to be planned well in advance. I may have to do a fundraiser so need to get a budget and plans together so I can get that started if needed.

I spent some depressing time reading about the current policy on immigration and what is being pushed. It is becoming almost impossible to find ways for those that are not already completely through the system to finish up what they need to do and get to stay. Even those that have done everything correctly are being deported. Timelines for VISA’s are being push out four to six years and no guarantees are being offered that they get to stay for the process. I still can’t understand what the fear is behind all of this.

I am amazed that there are any transports to do as the vast majority of people that get picked up are not allowed out. They either have to stay detained and face years before they can be released or they get deported. Even those that have attorneys don’t fare very well.

One of those days where I had to stop and allow myself to feel all the feels of the hurt in the world. The national debt is staggering and we will all someday soon have to face the consequences of that. I got my property tax assessment today and because I added a room and bathroom, my taxes are going up over 30%. Yikes! How do seniors that are on a very fixed income do this?

And this too shall pass and all is well, and all will be well. These are all symptoms of bigger issues. Greed over enough for all.

My mind is rambling today. Random thoughts and scattered threads going through my brain. Make it make sense!

Grateful for a restful, quiet day, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful all is well.

I was in Emporia at 9:00 for my doctor’s appointment. I thought it was my annual physical as when I scheduled it I asked them when I had my last year’s physical as I know you have to have them at least one year apart.

They had me down for a medication check. Now I get to go back and do a physical. What a joke and waste! I have been cranky about it most of the day. I was eight days too early for this visit to count as my physical.

He had received a preliminary report about my colonoscopy from the Doctor in Wichita. Don’t think they found anything of importance but the biopsy report wasn’t back yet. Dang, I wonder if that means they can’t identify what is wrong with me.

He did check my TSH level and it was 1.6. Just a tad low but not bad considering I have had two procedures the last couple of weeks.

After my very short appointment I went and picked Ellexia up and we went to Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. I was on my way to take her back home afterwards and told her I was going to stop and fill the car up with gas and take the car through the car wash and then head home. She wanted to go through the car wash with me. We did that and then I took her home. I stopped and filled the car up with gas after I dropped off Ellexia and came home.

I was cranky so I put myself in time-out and went back to bed. I managed to sleep another couple of hours.

When I got up I decided to create a new Amazon Gift Registry and put on it items to create a Go Bag for the released Detainees. I requested two backpacks, two blankets, 1 pair of sweat pants and 1 sweat shirts in various sizes, and a package of socks for women and a package of socks for men. I posted it and within five minutes every item was ordered.

Someone reminded me I forgot a travel toiletry set so I requested two for women and two for men and within two minutes those were taken care of.

I want to get some underwear to add to them to but I couldn’t find single pair of underwear on Amazon. I will look again and if I can’t find them, I will look in a store for single purchases. I know they sell women’s that way but not sure about men’s. I have very limited storage and don’t want lots of things to store. I will have to get several different sizes for both men and women so could end up with 20 plus pairs on hand if I order the packages of three or five or however they sell it.

Someone else wants me to add chapstick but you can’t get only one or two tubes of it on Amazon. They sell packages of four or six or 12. I am afraid it will go bad by the time I would use it up. Next time I go to town I will buy two single tubes of it and add it to the toiletry kits.

People are so incredibly generous. I think some were upset they didn’t get a chance to help out. I will see how big the backpacks are and what fits and if I have more room, I will add some more things.

It will be fun when it all comes in. I will fill one backpack for a man and one for a women and then when I get a call and find out the size of the person will add the sweat pants and sweat shirt at the last minute. I have charges and adaptors at home already. I also will add in a few snacks and two bottles of water.

The lady I spoke to yesterday that works with the transportation in Springfield, MO gave me this idea. She has personally purchased these items for the ones she transported. I suggested to her she does an Amazon gift registry and see if the donors will send her what she needs. Love how we can share ideas and help each other out.

I got caught up on most of the thank you notes. I still have some to hand write. I have to send emails to those that donate via VENMO as I don’t have their mailing address.

I got 80 stamps in the mail today as a donation. Asking for stamps turned out to be a good thing as I won’t have to buy stamps for six months now. I had purchased 1000 of them before the price went up and I have received over 1000 of them through the stamp drive. That will save my budget for the Pen Pal program, website expenses, and the special events that we do monthly for the Detainees.

So looking forward to the next couple of days of empty space. My soul and body needs that! I feel like my mind, body and spirit are not in sync with myself and I need to slow down and let all parts of me be put back together again.

Next week I have a haircut on Monday and then all empty space the rest of the week. Looking forward to that!

Sitting in gratitude with how quickly the new gift registry got taken care of. People are so generous and looking for ways to help. Now a part of them will go with each released Detainee. Wished we had lots of them to celebrate but we will honor each lucky one that we get to help.

Grateful my TSH was not too low, grateful for time with Ellexia after a disappointing doctor’s appointment, and grateful for the generosity of strangers filling the gift registry requests.

No sleep at all last night. I kept laying in bed for an hour, get up for an hour, rinse and repeat all night long. Not sure what was going on but sleep was not to be found.

Kathy and I met some friends in Strong City and then we drove to Council Grove and picked up another friend. Drove to Manhattan and had lunch. Another friend joined us for lunch.

We had a nice, long lunch with lots of conversation. It was a delight for all. After lunch we walked downtown and stopped in a couple of stores. I found some greeting cards I liked and purchased. Came home after that.

I haven’t done much since I got home. I did manage to stay awake so hoping I will be able to crash soon and get lots of sleep tonight.

Kathy has had a rash under her chin for a day or two. This afternoon it was swelling a bit so she went to Urgent Care. She has shingles. They gave her three prescriptions so hoping she will get some relief soon. I had shingles a while ago and they are not fun.

A lady that works as a volunteer transporter with a detention center in Springfield, MO called me today and we visited for over an hour. She shared how they handle their transportation team and how the facility works. I shared what I am doing. I picked up a few good ideas that I may implement. It is so hard to know what the demand is going to be for the future. I have only transported four released ICE Detainees and the father of another one. I think I will continue as we are doing unless the demand picks up.

It is interesting how the different facilities operate and what volunteers are allowed to do. I have a much better working relationship with the staff of my center than they have. Their facility is twice the size though. They do much more family contact than I do. I am able to do more for the Detainees inside the facility than they are able to do. Grateful for whatever we are able to do.

Tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia at 9:00. Afterwards Ellexia and I are going out for breakfast/brunch. After that I am hoping I can come home and stay home for a few days. I am missing my quiet, stay-at-home days this week.

I do need to find someone to come over and fix a router problem I am having with the new website. I need to change some settings on my computer and router and I have never done that before. I would love to find someone that understands this stuff come over and do it for/with me. I got the name of someone that might help today and I will contact them tomorrow afternoon and see if they will come over.

I called and made a final appointment to get my haircut with my current hairdresser before he retires the first week of September. Dang, I will have to train someone new to cut my hair. Maybe I will grow it out and quit cutting it. Not very likely that will happen though. Long hair drives me crazy.

I need to get caught up on writing thank you notes for Love in Action. I think I have five or six to write. Maybe I can get that done tomorrow afternoon. I’m too tired to attempt it tonight.

One of the ladies at the lunch today, took the patches a friend had made and brought to the Love in Action birthday party and pasted them on card stock and turned them into a birthday card. How very creative. I will send pictures to the maker of the patches as I think she will like to see those. Another idea for her on what to do with the patches. Brilliant!

Feeling like I am running behind today. Two days in a row of not tending to the little tasks that I normally do in a day. Maybe I can catch up Thursday when I will finally have a stay-at-home day.

Grateful for a gathering of my best friends today, grateful for a long conversation with another volunteer doing similar work, and grateful for all the sleep I am going to get tonight.

This has been a busy and long day. I went to Olpe this morning to pick up the beef. I backed into the loading dock and then went in. An older man yelled at me to move my car as he was picking up his meat. OK dude, chill.

I moved my car and went in and paid for the processing then backed my car up to get loaded. Came home and sorted the beef into three equal piles.

My neighbor came over with a wagon and got her share. A friend showed up a bit later to get her share. I put the other third in my freezer and will deliver it to Nicole later.

I hadn’t sat down for long when the Detention Center called and said they had a person that needed transported. I quickly went to the gas station and filled my car up with gas and then went to the Center to pick him up. This is what I posted on my Facebook page:

I, Kay Krause, had the privilege and honor to transport another released ICE Detainee this afternoon. This one was a 22 year-old from Russia. He had been held at the Chase County, KS Detention Center for one month.

I didn’t get his story of why he was picked up. I took him to the Department of Homeland Security up by the airport to pick up his driver’s license, work permit, and VISA. I then took him to the airport where his brother was arranging a flight home to Chicago for him.

I picked him up a little after 2:00. The Department of Homeland Security office closes at 4:00. It is a two hour drive to get there from the Chase County Detention Center. My GPS showed me arriving at 4:07. I called the Lieutenant at the Center and asked her if she had a contact at the KC Office in case I couldn’t make it there by 4:00. She called me back and gave me a phone number of a lady that works there and her phone number. I was to call her if I didn’t make it by 4:00.

I drove like a mad woman and we got to the Department of Homeland Security office right at 4:00. Three armed security guards were coming out as we walked up to the door. I waited until they came out and then I was going to enter the building. The last one put his hand on his holster and told me to step back, the office was closed and to come back tomorrow. I stepped between him and the man I was transporting and said no problem. The guard made sure the door closed and was locked and then left.

I called the contact inside and she came out with the cards the immigrant needed. She was my angel that helped out today as without those cards, he would not have been able to fly home tonight.

I then took him over to the airport and dropped him off along with a phone charger and adapter. I have learned to keep my car stocked with chargers as the immigrants I transport rarely have a charger with them when they are picked up. I trust he was able to get a flight out tonight and reunite with his brother.

He did tell me his parents are old and sick and are still back in Russia. He was hoping to obtain some medication to send them as it is hard to get medication where they are in Russia right now.

What an honor it is to transport these released immigrants. This one is turning 23 on August 23rd. He was grateful to be able to be released before his birthday.

Please feel free to share this post. I feel it is important that their stories be told and shared.

It was a bit nerve racking to have the security guy approach me as he did. I am not used to that attitude. I was ever so grateful that the Lieutenant had given me a phone number of someone to call so he could get his ID tonight. Otherwise he would not have been able to fly home today.

I feel like I am making friends from all over the world without having to travel. Afghanistan, India, China, Palestine and now Russia. I wish I had contact information for all of them but I do not. I wish I could speak some foreign languages but how in the world would I know which one to learn. I find it interesting that so far none are from Mexico or Central or South America.

It is always a relief to know one more got released. So few do these days.

I will take some time this evening to feel all the feels and allow my body to process the day.

Tomorrow I am going out to lunch with a group of friends. I will need that! The timing is divine! Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment and then I will have some empty space on my calendar.

What a day! I never know when a transport will come up and I am never given more than a moment’s notice. Grateful I had free time and could make it happen today.

Grateful the beef is in the house, grateful to be in service today, and grateful for an angel at the Department of Homeland Security that went out of her way to help us out today.

Quiet day today. I did go to the Dollar General and got some mouse traps. Kathy saw what she called a “furry friend” in the back room. Have I ever said I hate mice? If not, I will tell you now, I hate mice! We both told her cat Louis he better start earning his keep and go to it! He didn’t seem too fazed by that.

I took a nap this afternoon. Have felt very tired all day. Not sure why but since I could find sleep I decided to allow it. I’m still tired tonight.

I got two loads of laundry washed, folded and put away. Always feel good when I get all that done in the same day.

Tomorrow I am going to the meat locker in the morning to pick up the beef. I will come home and sort it into thirds and then put one third in my freezer to take to Nicole another day. My neighbor will come get one third and a friend is going to come get one third. It will be good to have that job done and taken care of.

Tuesday I am going with some dear friends to Manhattan for lunch. Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning in Emporia. The rest of the week should be empty space time.

I had a discussion with a person tonight. We have a lot in common but also a lot of opinions we hold differently. It was refreshing to have a civil conversation and we ended with both of us better understanding the other’s point of view. Neither of us changed our minds on where we stand but that wasn’t the point of the discussion. I better understand the choices they are making even when I don’t agree.

We both agree that individuals should be able to make the choices that best serve themselves and their families.

I called the internet service to find out why I couldn’t pull up my new website using their service but I could using my phone as the internet. He did his magic and I now can pull up the new website. I didn’t need to buy a VPN whatever that is. I was grateful it got fixed.

Think I will go to bed early tonight as I am still tired. Not sure where this exhaustion is coming from. Hoping I have lots more energy tomorrow. Hoping I get the doctor’s note on my colonoscopy tomorrow. I still have no idea what he found or did.

Grateful for people that are willing to have conversations even when we don’t agree, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful I was able to get the website situation fixed.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home type of day. I woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got up at 6:00 and went back to bed at 8:00. Slept two more hours. Sleep and I are not good friends right now. I wonder who but who in time-out?

I pulled my big girls panties up and released the website for Love in Action. I still can’t pull it up consistently. So far most can open it however I have had two that cannot. What is going on? I am ignorant on things like this. Part of me just wants to give it a bit more time? Maybe there is a button somewhere that needs fixed? I will wait till I have a free day next week and if it is still doing this I will call for help.

I added PayPal as a donation method a bit ago and when I was checking trash today found notices from people that had donated to PayPal. I would attempt to move the notice to my in box and it would bounce back to trash. Finally discovered that somewhere a long time ago I had blocked PayPal. Took me a bit to figure out how to unblock it.

Worked on the Pen Pal program a bit today. Have a new request and it took me two tries to get a volunteer. The first one had very understandable reasons not to take the new request. Luckily, another Pen Pal had been moved out of the Center so that volunteer was available. She does a great job of being mindful and not disclosing her personal information. That was very needed in this case.

It has been a technology type of day. Some success and some frustrations. Sure wish I knew more than I do but I am not motivated to go to school to learn. That is what experts are for – right? Trusting it will all get sorted out sooner or later – it always does.

Have felt almost “normal” today. I ate brunch around 12:30 and haven’t needed to eat anymore since. Only had two eggs and a piece of toast but am very full right now. That is one of the problems the doctor is trying to figure out why that happens. Sure hope they have some answers for me when I go on the 24th for my follow-up appointment. The good news of the day is I haven’t had to run to the bathroom today. Grateful to have at least a day off from that. Kathy took my place today and has had to run a couple of times. That is unusual for her. I told her thanks for joining me!

No plans for tomorrow. I have three busy days after that so will enjoy another stay-at-home resting type of day. I do have some housecleaning that needs done but there is always that to do. Tomorrow is laundry day so will attempt to get that done.

I reached out to someone I know today to see if she will have a conversation with me about vaccines. We are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. I told her I wasn’t going to attempt to change her mind and didn’t want her to attempt to change my mind. I just want to open my mind to other possibilities and to understand the whys behind her choice. She graciously agreed to have a discussion which we will have soon.

I strongly feel we have to start finding ways to talk to both sides and find out why people are making the choices they are. Not to change their minds, but to open mine. We have way more in common than our differences and we all need reminded of that. Maybe each side can learn something from the other and respect can come back into the equation.

I have been guilty of turning away from people that have different views than I have and I need to stop doing that. It can be a challenge to find someone willing to have conversation but I think they are out there. I am on a mission to find them and start opening some doors.

When I reached out to a guy that has a different view than mine about immigration we built a fragile bridge between us. That one was a bit easier because I doubt if I ever hear from him again. However, it gave me hope that if we can listen without judgement and allow the conversations, maybe the temperature of the debate can be dialed down a bit.

Grateful the website has launched, grateful there are experts that can help fix it if needed, and grateful for people that are willing to have a conversation with someone they have a different opinion about things.

Last night was a very long night. By 8:00 my stool was still not clear yellow so I took two more laxatives. BIG mistake. They didn’t kick in until 2:30 this morning and then man did they work. Every ten minutes until 6:00. I got very little sleep last night.

Kathy and I left in the rain a bit early as I wasn’t sure if it would rain all the way or not and wanted to allow extra time. It did rain most of the way and some of it was serious rain. We got there in plenty of time but was grateful I didn’t have to stress and could allow myself to slow down for safety when it was needed.

I was rather dehydrated and was surprised when the nurse got the IV started with only one poke. She was good! They took me back for my procedure a little after 9:00 and I was out of there a little after 10:00.

Kathy said the doctor came bedside to talk to me afterwards but I don’t remember seeing him. Not sure what they found out other than they removed a couple of polyps. The office called and scheduled an appointment for me on August 24 to go over next steps.

I had trouble waking up this time. I think it was because this was the second procedure two weeks. I also hadn’t slept much at all last night. They were anxious to get me out of there. I was shivering and shaking but that didn’t seem to get their attention. I was grateful Kathy drove home as I don’t think I could have today. Two weeks ago I could have.

The care was good today but not as excellent as the first time. They didn’t really miss anything today other than I really felt rushed out of there. Last time the care felt a bit more personal.

I came home and took a nap. Felt better after that. I managed to eat something for the first time in 36 hours. I am working on drinking lots as I still feel a bit dry.

Grateful this procedure got done and hopeful they discovered what is causing my issues. The doctor will post the operating room notes to MyChart and I will be able to read them before my appointment on the 24th. I will also see the biopsy reports when they come back. Hoping the 24th will give me lots of answers.

I don’t plan on doing anything the rest of the day. I’m still pretty tired and not “normal” yet. Hoping tomorrow I will be back to whatever my “normal” is and I can go on with my life. This procedure has been hanging over my head since February! Grateful it is over.

Next week I have to go to Olpe on Monday to pick up the beef, Tuesday I have a lunch to go to in Manhattan, and Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment with my primary care doctor. It will be a busy week for me. So far the next week has lots of empty space to look forward to.

Spent some time reading comments and posts about the election that happened earlier this week. Man, people can be cruel. I wonder if they would say those things to someone’s face? How have we lost the ability to listen to each other and disagree without becoming disagreeable? The facilitator of a big group I am in on Facebook posted about the threats she is getting from people that want her to do her group differently. I can relate to the facilitator’s post and feel for her. It is hard to take a stand in love and not get bullied. I attempt to stand in love anyways but somedays it is hard!

Feeling a bit drained, poked and prodded. My insides have been examined and they are complaining about it a bit! It will all have been worth it if whatever is going on has been discovered. I will allow my body to rest this weekend and be ready to face my busy week next week.

Grateful the colonoscopy is finally over, grateful for the kind care I received today, and grateful for Kathy’s loving presence and care.

Well this has been a day! I am on clear liquids and in the middle of my prep for my colonoscopy. I thought I was starting to get into trouble and I had only taken the first step in the prep which is two laxatives by pill.

I called the doctor’s office to get some guidance on how to proceed. The website said they were there until 5:00. I called at 4:00 and asked for the nurse. She answered but said she had no clue about the prep process and transferred me to scheduling. Weird but OK. Unfortunately I had to leave a message. When I hadn’t heard back at 4:40 I called back and found out the office closes at 4:30 so was unable to talk to anyone.

I called the on-call doctor at 5:00 and have not heard back. Dang I hate this.

The next step in prep is to mix the entire bottle of Miralax with two 28 oz bottles of Gatorade and drink it all down. I have managed to get two cups down so far. I did start feeling better when I drank some Gatorade due to the sugar it has in it. I hadn’t had any sugar or salt all day.

So far the Miralax hasn’t started working but I may not have anything left in me. Sorry for all the shitty details – Pun intended!

We shall see how the night goes. I still have the Miralax to get down and then I am to take two more laxatives. Not sure I will go there. I am going to give what I have taken so far time to work before I take anything else. I’m afraid if I do all that has been prescribed I will run into problems.

Yesterday and this morning I had lots of BM’s so was fairly cleaned out before I ever started the prep. Sure wish the doctor would call me so I can get some direction.

Still struggling to get the new Love in Action website to come up on all three of my devices. I still haven’t managed to get it to come up on the desktop and it is hit and miss on my iPhone and iPad. I decided to set it all aside and deal with it after tomorrow. My priority right now is the colonoscopy.

We have to leave for Wichita at 6:20 in the morning so we can be at the hospital by 7:30. I filled out all the paperwork this morning so that is ready to go. My procedure is at 9:00 and I am betting I am out of there before 11:00. It sure will be good to have this behind me. (Oops, another pun!)

Haven’t done much today but run to the bathroom. I did get the laundry I washed yesterday folded and put away. I make a post on the Love in Action page about the pizza. I took a deposit to the bank and then stopped by and ordered the pizza. I have to give them plenty of notice so they can make sure they have the items on hand to make 50 pizzas as well as the staff to make them. The store is running a back-to-school special on pizza that week so it will be discounted. The manager said she would honor the sale price for me. That is much appreciated. The Center is going to pick up the pizza so all I have to do on the 21st is go pay for it.

Man I will be relieved when this is all done. I had the original problem that started this whole chain of events back in February. Our modern medical system doesn’t move too fast these days. I sure hope and trust that the doctor discovers what my problem is and can come up with some real solutions. I am tired of having to be close to a bathroom many days.

Grateful the pizza is ordered, grateful the laundry got put away, and grateful tomorrow is almost here.

This was anything but an empty space day. A preacher lady from Wichita contacted me last night and asked if she could visit with me this morning. She called me at 9:30 and we chatted for over an hour.

She is gathering a group of pastors from the Wichita area and they are going to do something to help either the Detainees or their families in Wichita. She was looking for ideas on what might be needed and how to go about doing it.

I don’t know if I was of any help to her or not. I told her why I had chosen to do what I am doing and then explained all that we do. I encouraged her to start small and build from there. There is so much that needs done that it can feel defeating if you take on too much.

I went to Emporia when I finished talking with her. Stopped and picked up Ellexia and then we met Jason at Bobby D’s for lunch. Always a good day when I get to spend part of it with my loved ones.

I took Ellexia home after lunch and then I killed time for a bit. I had to quickly find a bathroom a couple of times. I needed to be at a church at 1:25 as I did a presentation to a group of church women. I think the presentation was OK. I went way over my 20 minutes and we talked for about an hour. They had some good questions and comments. I stayed and they did their business meeting and then they served desserts. I answered some more questions and then came home.

It was a churchy type of day! The preacher was a United Methodist preacher and the church I went to today was United Methodist. Memories from the past assaulted me today. I came home exhausted. My tummy has been giving me fits today. I lost count how many times I had to go to the bathroom. Maybe I am getting a head start of the clean out tomorrow.

I came home and took a nap. Had trouble falling asleep but I finally found some sleep. I am still wiped out but can almost function, although I wouldn’t want to do anything too challenging.

Struggling to get the new website to open on my desktop. It will now open on my iPad and iPhone but it won’t load on the desktop. I’m afraid I choose the wrong name and there is a block of some sort that is not going to let it work. I may have to rename it and try again. Wonder what that will cost and look like? Dang it anyways. Things aren’t always as simple as I think they should be.

When we released the site it said to give it up to 72 hours to fully load. I will give it another day or two and then I am going to have to make some calls if it continues not to load. Not sure I know where to start but calling and asking for help is something I can do. My main fear of doing that is my lack of understanding the terminology they will use to help me fix it. I am very ignorant about these things.

I got 54 stamps in the mail today as well as a donation check. I was also given a check at the meeting today as well as a bit of cash. I will need to write some thank you notes and make a trip to the bank tomorrow.

Tomorrow afternoon I start the prep. I can only have clear fluids tomorrow. I’m not hungry tonight and trying to decide if I should try to eat something or just let it go. It may be a long day tomorrow, especially when things get going. Hoping I won’t run into issues like last time. At least this time, I only have to do one day of prep and not two.

Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 in the morning and the procedure is at 9:00. I should be home by noon or a little after. This time I know the right place to go and it is closer than the doctor’s office.

No plans for the weekend. Giving myself some time to recover. It shouldn’t be hard to recover. Sure hoping they find out why my tummy doesn’t behave itself way too often.

Monday I have to go pick up the beef that is ready. Tuesday I have a lunch in Manhattan to go to, and Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia. I won’t have lots of empty space next week.

It was a Love in Action day today. I haven’t talked about Love in Action like that for a long time. I trust someone got something out of it. One never knows how people will take what I say. I try hard to avoid politics or religion when I talk but since I was talking to church people today not sure how that went over. I never know others feelings on politics but I also know their reaction is on them, not me.

Grateful to have gotten to share the Love in Action story twice today, grateful to have not had a bathroom oops, and grateful for an afternoon nap that restored my soul and body.

I went to Emporia this morning to pick up the supplies for the colonoscopy prep. Man it was hard to put a container of MiraLAX in my cart and know that I have to mix it and drink the whole thing. I am grateful I only do one night of prep instead of two nights this time.

I am excited that the amendment proposal to change the way the judges are elected failed. However I have a bit of cognitive dissonance going on because the Republicans choose Ty Masterson as their choice for Governor. Isn’t he the one that pushed the amendment? Uhm…….

I went to Christy Davis election watch party for a short bit. I got there just before she gave her concession speech. I got to visit with some Love in Action supporters and vent a bit. I needed that. I so appreciate the support others give me for this program and it encourages me to put the hard stuff down and push on.

I got a call that the beef is ready to be picked up. They are closed tomorrow and I am busy Thursday and Friday so will pick it up Monday. Two of the people each getting 1/3 of 1/2 will get their beef Monday. I have room in my freezer for the other 1/3 and I will get it to Nicole on another day. I didn’t keep any of it for me this time as I still have beef left over from last year. Kathy and I don’t eat that much of it anymore.

I had a quick chat with my brother Keith today. He is getting 1/2 of the beef. It was good to catch up with him. He has had some health issues going on and his son just had a baby that is in NICU and I needed to check on her.

Tomorrow I am picking up Ellexia and we are going to meet Jason for lunch. After I take Ellexia home, I am going to a church to do a presentation on Love in Action. They only want me to talk for 20 – 30 minutes. I will have to remember to wear my watch as I could talk for an hour.

Thursday I do my prep day and Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 for the colonoscopy. I will be so glad when it is over.

It felt good to get some frustration out tonight and have the chance to vent. I feel more grounded than I have been. I reached out to the guy that started the latest mess and I think we are good. Somehow, someway, we have got to remember how to talk to each other and stop the name calling.

Grateful the amendment proposal didn’t pass, grateful for friends that let me vent tonight, and grateful I get to see Ellexia and Jason tomorrow.

Man, life gets interesting sometimes. Late last night I got a question about my post I made about the man from Germany that has requested to be deported. The man questioning me wanted the name of the Detainee. I refused to give it to him because of confidentiality reasons. We went back and forth a couple times and then he said that I could rightly be accused of making up the story since I wouldn’t disclose the names. He wanted to do a background check on the guy to see if he was worthy of having his story told.

I responded when I transported the two from Afghanistan and India, I never did learn their names. I have the name of the father of the son from Palestine in my phone as Father Palestine and the lady from China as Lin China. I told him I didn’t need to know their story or even their names to determine they were worthy of love and a ride. He didn’t respond back to that.

Because his post was public, I decided I needed to make another post letting others know why I chose not to disclose names and if that caused them to doubt my story so be it. I also said I am taking a love stand and invited others to stand with me. Sometimes when you stand up to a bully, they back down. I haven’t heard a peep out of the guy today.

The response to that post has been a bit overwhelming for me. I received several PM, texts, emails, and lots of responses. Love will win!

Haven’t felt the best again today. I had trouble sleeping after all that last night. I took a nap this afternoon but had trouble sleeping then too.

I got the instructions for my colonoscopy prep that I have to do Thursday. There were instructions for this week too that I was to have started last Friday – oops! I will go to town tomorrow and get what I need to do the prep. I am NOT looking forward to doing it but grateful I only have to do one round on one day and not another round on a second day.

I had ordered a new purse and backpack for my trip this November. They came in today and are perfect. I love the purse I have now but the credit card part is hard to snap shut and my phone won’t fit in the purse. The new purse is about an inch longer so the phone fits easily and the credit card part zips close so the cards will be more secure. I will probably start using it all the time. The backpack is much smaller than the one I have now but it is plenty big for my iPad, a change of clothes, and some snacks. I also ordered some packing cubes. I will give them a try and see if I like using them.

When I go on a trip that I have to repack every night or every other night it gets hard to keep things sorted. Hoping the packing cubes will help with that. We shall see if I can teach this old lady a new trick!

It got hot again today. The dogs are inside today for the first time in a couple of days. They have showed no desire to return outside yet.

Tomorrow I plan on going to Emporia to pick up my prescriptions and the supplies I need for the colonoscopy prep. I could wait and get them after my presentation Wednesday but have a feeling I won’t want to stop afterwards.

Thursday I will be doing my prep so will be on a liquid diet all day. I start taking the clean out stuff late afternoon. Last time it took six hours before things quieted down. May be a long night Thursday and I have to be in Wichita by 7:30 Friday morning.

No plans for the weekend. Next week I have a lunch to go to on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. I am grateful for all this empty space time. It is giving me the space and time I need to find my center and balance. The last week has been a doozy.

Sitting wrapped in the love of my supporters and donors from Love in Action. So many nice comments of support. I truly believe love will win and will drown out the hate.

Grateful I had an empty space day today to allow me to process my feelings and emotions, grateful for the love and support of my Facebook family, and grateful the instructions for the prep came today.

I got more sleep last night than I have been getting. It has been another hard day though. I think I need to take a break from Love in Action for a bit. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster this last week and have lost my footing and grounding.

I kinda laugh because last time I said I was going to do that and completely surrendered it, I got an email from the Center and the next day I dived back in. Not expecting it to happen that fast again but I am surrendering it completely and won’t pick it back up again until I am clear about my purpose.

Haven’t done much today. I did get my thank you notes written and in the mail box. I sure wish I had mailing addresses for those that donate via VENMO so I could properly acknowledge them too.

Nothing on the calendar until Wednesday when I am doing a presentation on Love in Action in the afternoon. I do need to pick up a couple of prescriptions so might go to town tomorrow and get those. I have a few groceries I need too.

Thursday I have to do my colonoscopy prep and then Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 in the morning. I trust since I only have one prep to do and not two I can make it through without issue. I still don’t know what I need to do the prep with so hoping the information will show up tomorrow so I can pick up what I need.

I really would love to find a solution to my tummy issues. The upper showed some inflammation of the stomach lining but no definite answers as to why. I was pleased that the reflux I am having hasn’t damaged the esophagus yet. I’m also grateful I don’t have an ulcer and that the pancreas isn’t my problem.

The website still isn’t opening on Apple products. The site certificate page says to give it 72 hours to fully come on-line. If it isn’t on-line by Wednesday I will have my neighbor kid fix it for me. I look forward to announcing we have a real website.

I’m grateful we raised extra funds for the pizza party as the website costs more than I expected it to. There are lots of things in the background you have to pay for I didn’t know about. Sometimes I think it is a good thing I don’t know about these things as I wouldn’t have the nerve to jump in and do them if I knew all the details in advance.

Life is a roller coaster at times. I allow myself to fully feel both the ups and the downs and I feel this week I have gotten whiplash from the extremes. Pure joy at helping a released ICE Detainee get released to pure devastation at the situation of the man from Germany who has few good choices and control over his life. Somewhere in all of this is balance. I need to regroup, reset and find that balance point.

I step in and out of acceptance of what Love in Action can and does do. I swing out of acceptance when I see the things that need to be done that are too big for Love in Action to take on. Most of that is policy issues that I can’t change. When I can zoom out and realize what we have been able to do I can find that balance point again. Today, I haven’t been able to.

Grateful I know what I need to do to find balance, grateful I can allow myself to feel the highs and the lows, and grateful I can step aside for a bit and allow balance to find me.

This has not been an easy day. Second one in a row. I think that is enough of this. Tomorrow has got to be better!

Played peek a boo with sleep all night and if I catch sleep, I didn’t stay asleep. I laid back down this morning and again this afternoon but didn’t have much more luck. I am tired and cranky tonight.

The neighbor kid came over and attempted to make the website go live. It will load on non apple products but not on apple products. When I look up what to do, I don’t understand the instructions as they use words I have no idea where to go to find what they want me to do.

He brought over a contract that I needed to sign. Have no idea what most of it says or means. He is a real professional at age 12!

I will have the kid come over tomorrow and see if he can figure it out. I am too tired and frustrated to attempt it again tonight.

Other than getting two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away I haven’t done much today. One of those days where everything I went to do caused frustration. I sorted my pills for two weeks and when I pulled the tray of pills out of the cabinet four bottles of pills fell down. Rinse and repeat and that is how my day has gone.

The good news of the day is I got more donations for Love in Action today. We have several ways donors can give and I think all of them were used today. It is good to get a live test on the two new ones so I can figure out how to get to the funds. Donors have been very generous in giving lately. It is a good thing as the website is costing more than I expected. We had to purchase some sort of thing today and have no idea what it was and when it renews, etc. I don’t understand that stuff and have no real desire to learn it. Hope the neighbor kid never moves!

What a beautiful day it was today. Low humidity, 80’s temperature, and light winds. I could live somewhere when it is like this every day. Kathy worked out in the yard today. She is sore tonight.

No plans tomorrow although I hope the website gets fixed so it can be released. That will be one more thing off my list of things to do.

One of the Detainees has requested a priest so he can do confession and receive communion. That is out of my control so will write a note to the staff at the Center and ask about the protocol they have for that. I’m not allowed to deal with religious matters due to the 501()3 requirements.

I do have a couple of notes I need to send to some Pen Pals. I wrote one this morning and I was almost done with it and it disappeared. This happened one other time. I don’t know if I am doing something wrong or if the system glitches and causes that. I was too frustrated to write it all out again when it happened.

I heard from my transport that she has arrived safely in New York. If I understood her correctly she didn’t get there until today. Not sure what the story behind that is but it doesn’t matter as she is where she needs to be now and is safe. I trust she won’t encounter ICE again.

I needed to refill two prescriptions so will need to go to town sometime this week and pick those up. I have a presentation to do on Wednesday so I can get them then if I don’t make it to town before then. Friday I have my colonoscopy so will have to start prep on Thursday. I haven’t gotten the instructions yet so hoping those come by Tuesday. If not, I will have to call and get them as I don’t know what supplies I will need to do the prep.

I realized today I haven’t had two bad days back to back for a bit. I can’t believe when I was with Jim I had them most of the time. I am grateful they are rare enough that I notice when I have two back to back now. However did I live like this all the time?

I have a bunch of thank you notes I need to write. Maybe I can get those done tomorrow. The good news is both Zeffy and PayPal give me mailing addresses so I can formally acknowledge the donations. VENMO does not do that.

My peaceful valley doesn’t feel so peaceful tonight. I think most of it is sleep deprivation more than anything else. I sure wish there was a cure for my sleeping problem.

Grateful the website is almost ready to go, grateful that this too shall pass, and grateful for the break in the heat and humidity.

Not one of my better days. No energy or motivation to do anything. I could tell things were not going to be easy today so haven’t attempted much. I did take the sheets off my bed and washed them but haven’t gotten them put back on yet.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I think I was too wired from my trip to KC. Got up this morning and did not feel well rested. Went back to bed but couldn’t sleep. Finally was able to try again and this time I got a bit of sleep. Still not feeling rested but at least not quite so tired.

Have had lots of readers of my post about the transport last night. I like to see who shared it and what is being said on those posts. For some reason, Facebook is not allowing me to see who shared the post today. Not sure if I am doing something wrong or if Facebook made some changes again. Will try again another day.

I am grateful I had nothing I had to get done today as I’m not sure I would have been able to do so. I am spoiled with all the empty space time I have and can put things off when I decide to.

I got the car titles back today. About five weeks ago I went to the Courthouse and added my trust as the beneficiary on them. It is nice to have that pending project crossed off my list of things to track.

Got the month end report for Love in Action posted. I added a quick paragraph about the transport. I decided not to include the funds for the pizza event in it as it is easier to report that once and not split it. Wish I could figure out what to leave out so it isn’t so long.

My neighbor kid got the corrections made to the Website. I think we are ready to launch. I have a couple of small things to change at some point but nothing important. I will schedule a launch day for one day next week.

Got a text from the lady I drove to KC yesterday. She had managed to get her ID and was at the airport waiting for her flight. I think she will let me know when she arrives in New York and then I will post an update to the story. How sweet of her to keep me informed.

No plans for the weekend. Hoping I have more energy tomorrow and get a few things done. I always feel better when I have a bit of a productive day and am not a slug all day long. It is to be a bit cooler so maybe I can get out and take a long walk. It has been a bit since I have done that.

Grateful my transport was able to get her ID without issue, grateful others are interested in her story, and grateful the website is ready to launch.

This day had a plot twist thrown in to keep me on my toes!

I went to Emporia and picked Ellexia up at 11:30. We went to Applebees for lunch and then went to Five Below. At least, I think that is the name of the store. I had never been there before and hadn’t heard of it. I think I need to get out more.

Ellexia picked up a few things she needed for school supplies and then we went to Walmart to get the rest of the things on her list. I picked up a bag of ice and we checked out. I use self check-out and the lady came up as I was finishing up and said did you ring in the ice? I said I did and she said she didn’t see it. I showed her the receipt and she said it’s not on there. I said yes it was and showed her. It rings in as medium bags. She said that isn’t ice. I said check the numbers. She did and sure enough it was ice. She said I am going to tell management to change the name. She didn’t apologize to me about her attitude. Geez!

I took Ellexia home and then drove home. I was just finishing up putting the ice away when the Captain from the Center called me to ask if I could do a transport today. He had an ICE Detainee from China that needed to go somewhere so she could start her journey home to New York State. Initially he said I was going to take her to the bus station at Topeka but they don’t have a ticket office there. He said he would work with her some more and I arranged to pick her up at 3:00.

I went to get her and they had discovered she didn’t have her ID with her. It is at the Department of Homeland Security Office in KCMO up by the airport. Unfortunately, it would have been closed before I could get her there today. Her niece was going to arrange for a ticket for her so she could fly home to New York. She couldn’t fly home without her ID.

Not sure where she was picked up at but she lives in New York. She had no money on her and no credit cards. I told the Captain I would take her to a hotel by the airport and the Department of Homeland Security Office and pay for her to stay the night. I would arrange with the front desk to provide transportation for her to the Office in the morning so she could get her ID and then for them to take her to the airport.

We got part way to KC and she asked me to pull over. Using Google translate she said a friend of a friend lives in KC and they were going to arrange for a hotel room for the night and then would take her in the morning to where she needed to go. So I only had to take her to a hotel in Overland Park. That made the trip much shorter.

She didn’t speak much English and I speak no Chinese so I have no idea what her story was and how she ended up staying for a couple months in Chase County. She was most appreciative of the drive. Her friend put some money in my sweater pocket and would not take it back. I tried to explain what Love in Action is all about but she either didn’t understand or wouldn’t accept that there was no charge. I took the money and will add it to the pizza party event we are hosting for the Detainees in August. Not only will we celebrate my birthday but we will also celebrate her getting released. Not many do and I think it gives the ICE Detainees at the Center hope when one does get released.

What an honor it is to get to transport the released Detainees. She was so sweet and most appreciative. For tonight, I will rest knowing one got released as so few do.

I remember thinking about all the empty space I was going to have this week. So grateful I had the space to be able to do the transport today and didn’t even have to rearrange anything on my calendar. There is a bigger plan going on behind the scenes that I need to remember to trust!

No plans for the rest of the week or the weekend. Nothing on my calendar until Wednesday. Neither Kathy nor I slept much last night so hoping we both will tonight.

What a day. Spending time with released Detainees is such an honor. They are so very appreciative of a ride. I don’t know why ICE is allowed to just kick them out and not have to pay for transportation for them back to where ever they were picked up at. Thank heavens for Captain Whitney that helps his released Detainees get home.

Grateful for the opportunity to be in service to a released detainee, grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, and grateful for time with Ellexia today.

I got lots of sleep last night. I slept the clock around. I was woken up while in a vivid dream. In the dream I was back at the house in the country and although I was home, I had hired someone to take care of the chickens. For some reason I realized they had not shown up to take care of the chickens for over five days and it was hot outside. I got up and was putting on clothes as fast as I could when I woke up. Oops. Not sure where that came from.. It got me up and out of bed and dressed…..

The neighbor kid sent over the website via email that he has been working on. I sent a page of corrections and he made them and sent it back. Found a few more corrections and sent them to him. He hasn’t sent those corrections back yet. We are close to having a website up and running for Love in Action.

Have raised half of the needed funds to do a pizza event for the Detainees for my birthday. Trusting the other half, or at least most of it, will come in before my birthday August 21. I sent a note to the Captain asking permission to do a pizza event in August. I guess I should have done that first but since we did it before I think he will agree to it.

Ellexia sent me a text and asked if we could go shopping to get the rest of her school supplies. I am picking her up at 11:30 tomorrow. We will go to lunch and then go to Walmart and get what she needs. I have a couple things I need to get for me while I am there. It will be fun to spend time with Ellexia again.

The gastro doctor’s office called me today and scheduled my colonoscopy for August 9. That is sooner than I expected it to be. I go back to the same hospital that I was at last week. It was a competent hospital so feel comfortable going back there. Not looking forward to the prep but the doctor said he only prescribes one round of prep the night before. Crossing my fingers and toes I can tolerate it and get this done.

I got the results of the biopsy back today. I don’t have what ever bacteria infection he was looking for. I do have gastropathy which is when the stomach lining is injured. I looked up the reasons that could happen and none of them seemed to fit although it can happen when you have an autoimmune condition. I have thought for some time that I have some autoimmune problem that hasn’t been diagnosis yet. We shall she what the colonoscopy shows. Maybe we can get a definite diagnosis with a treatment that will work.

I ordered a new purse and a new backpack today. I am starting to think about my trip in November and need to try something new. My current purse doesn’t fit my phone and I tend to misplace it easily. My current backpack is too big. Trying to get something to replace both of them that will make traveling easier. We shall see if I choose well.

This day went by quickly since I slept all morning. I wonder if I will find sleep tonight. I rarely do after sleeping so long but we shall see. I still don’t feel rested but I have a severe sleep deficit.

No plans for the weekend. I will post the monthly update for Love in Action Friday or Saturday. That will keep me busy answering questions and comments. Next week I am doing a presentation at a church in Emporia on Love in Action and then I will have the colonoscopy on Friday. I still have lots of empty space on my calendar.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley. I read the news and I feel like I am observing it yet I am isolated from it somehow. I think it is too hard to allow in right now. I keep telling myself – right here, right now, all is well. I’m sure the repercussions of all that is happening will unfold and come closer. My heart hurts when I think of all in the world that can’t push all the hard news away and have to be in the middle of it.

Grateful for the funds that have come in for the pizza event, grateful for positive biopsy results, and grateful I get to spend time with Ellexia tomorrow.

I only got about two hours of sleep last night. One of those nights where sleep was playing hide and seek and I wasn’t looking in the right places. I gave up around 6:00 this morning so it has been a long day.

I did two loads of laundry and got them folded and put away. I think that is my only win of the day!

I attempted a nap but could not go to sleep. Maybe tonight I will crash and sleep around the clock.

I took a check to the bank and deposited it for Love in Action. I am grateful the bank I use for that account is only two minutes from my house.

The kid that is working on my website sent me his first draft of the work he is doing. I am impressed with what he has done so far. I sent him a list of changes to make. Maybe we can get the site up and running sooner than I expected. We shall see how long it takes him to make the changes.

Have had a headache most of the day. I am pretty sure it is from lack of sleep. I took some Tylenol and that knocked it down to a quieter background headache instead of a pounding one.

Was nice to have some cooler temperatures today. We got a bit of rain overnight and some sprinkles this morning. I think it is only to be in the upper 80’s for a couple of days. That is a nice break. The dogs still spent the afternoon in the house and are not jumping for joy to go back outside tonight. They are getting old and the heat is hard on them.

No plans for tomorrow or the rest of the week. Today has felt long and nonproductive. I didn’t attempt to do much as I didn’t get much sleep and knew things would probably not be easy today. I am grateful I can take a day off when needed for my safety and the safety of those around me!

Ellexia wants me to take her to Walmart and get the rest of the school supplies she thinks she needs. I think she gets home from her trip tomorrow. She is to let me know when she wants to go shopping. We will have lunch and then take care of her list.

The full moon energy this month is intense. We are in Leo season and that energy is strong and in your face too. No wonder I couldn’t sleep last night! I miss not being able to see the moon rise and follow it across the sky during the night.

Sitting in the ebb and flow of life and aware of the moon’s pull. Add in the energy of the conflict in the Middle East and it is no wonder things are stirred up. I have started doing a releasing ceremony every night to make sure I am not holding what is not mine to carry. I have restricted myself to short periods of time to read the news and attempt to remember to make sure I am well grounded before I open the app to read the news.

I read where the administration is wanting to consolidate the immigration cases under one branch instead of the current two as a way to eliminate the number of people that are applying for asylum. There are over 3 million asylum cases in process and the government wants to cut them all off. What are we doing? I can’t wrap my head around the cruelty and fear that this will create. Why can’t we help our neighbors out?

Why ask why! It is hard some days to stay in the energy of love and find ways to remember we are all one.

Grateful for the sleep I will get tonight, grateful for the rain and cooler temperatures, and grateful love will win.

After not stopping for groceries yesterday, I came home and placed an on-line pickup order at Walmart. I went in to Emporia early afternoon to pick it up. I stopped for lunch on the way, went through the car wash, and filled my car up with gas while I was in town. Kathy helped me carry it all in when I got home.

Walmart was out of ice today. I will need to go pick up a bag later this week. With this heat, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised everyone is buying ice.

Nicole called this afternoon and we had a nice chat. I saw the other two kids yesterday so feel like I got caught up with all three now. Love when that happens.

I took a short nap this afternoon. I think the heat sapped all of my energy today. It is scary hot out there again today.

Got a note from the gastroenterologist doctor that he needs my cardiologist to clear me for the colonoscopy. I would think his clearance for the procedure I had last week would suffice but what do I know. I will send my cardiologist a message and ask him to send clearance again. Geez, this seems complicated again.

Facebook sent me a fundraiser post for my birthday that is coming up in August. I decided to attempt to raise enough money to pay for pizza for the Detainees this year. I usually throw myself a birthday party but I would rather give the Detainees pizza instead this year. I have already raised over $200. People are so incredibly generous.

No plans for the rest of the week. It is to cool down a bit starting tomorrow. I welcome the cool. I can’t believe it is almost the end of July already. Where does the time go?

I found a meme in my memories today with a quote from Mother Teresa reminding me what we resist, persists. It was this meme a year ago that led me to stop going to protests and instead do something positive to help create change in the world. I still believe that love is the answer and fighting hate with hate will not get us there. Somehow, some way we have got to stop with the labels, name calling and division and start remembering we all have more in common with each other than our differences.

Grateful the groceries are in the house and my cupboards are restocked, grateful for the generosity of my donors that are supporting the pizza idea for my birthday, and grateful for the empty space ahead this week.

Another hot, summer day. Doesn’t feel quite as hot as yesterday but it is still dangerously hot outside.

I went to Emporia mid morning and had breakfast with Jason and Michelle. I went in to buy some groceries but after breakfast I couldn’t make myself stop and get them. I didn’t feel very good after eating so came home and took a long nap. Felt much better when I woke up. Not sure what is up with that but grateful whatever it was is gone.

Was a nice treat to have breakfast with two of my kids. We don’t make that happen often enough. It makes for a great day whenever I can see one or two or all three of my kids.

Haven’t done anything else today. I don’t have much on my list of things to do except for some house cleaning. That is always available to me if the mood hits and unfortunately the mood rarely hits. When it gets to the point it bothers me, I take care of it then. My tolerance for dirt seems to have increased with my age. There will be a tipping point at some point but I haven’t seemed to reach that point yet.

Nothing is on my calendar so far for this week. I can’t remember the last time that has happened. Maybe something will come up and fill in some of the time this week. Not sure how it makes me feel to have that much empty space. Part of it allows me to take a deep breath and part of it feels overwhelming and terrifying. Trusting I can sit in the middle of that and allow it to be what it is.

Grateful for the time I had with Michelle and Jason this morning, grateful for naps that restore my body, and grateful for empty space that allows me to breathe.

This has been a weird day for me. I took a nap yesterday and slept for a couple of hours. I really didn’t expect to sleep much last night but went to sleep around 11:00 and slept until 7:00 this morning. Since I got up so early, this has felt like a very long day.

Did some paperwork. Am working on the July month end report for Love in Action. I transfered the funds that came in via VENMO to the checking account. I had to pay for 90 more emails for the Pen Pal program. Got most of the report written but am sure I will have to make some last minute adjustments if any more donations come in next week. I always try to keep the report short but haven’t succeeded at that yet. So much happens in a month!

Got two books of stamps in the mail today. We have received over 800 stamps since June. I usually have to buy about 400 stamps a month so that is about two months worth of stamps. Yay! This way I can save the donated funds for special events for the Detainees. I had bought a bunch of stamps before they went up mid July so have lots of stamps on hand right now. That is a good problem to have!

It is scary hot outside today. The dogs came in early this morning. Kathy put them back out for a bit so they could potty. When she brought them back in it took about 30 minutes for their breathing to slow down. Not fit for man or beast outside today. This heat wave is to continue till the first of next week.

The Emporia Gazette posted a heat advisory and they said the temperature was to be in the mid 100’s. That is a bit exaggerated!

No plans for tomorrow and all of next week. I will need to go to town and buy some groceries one of these days. I cleaned out my refrigerator this morning and it is almost empty. The food that was in there wasn’t edible but at least it looked like I had food to eat. Rearranged my freezer to make room for the beef that is coming soon. I’m not keeping any of it for me but I may need to store it for a bit before I can get it to where it belongs.

I have had no symptoms from the procedure yesterday. Even my throat isn’t sore. I’m grateful I recover quickly. It is a relief to know the stone in my pancreas is not dangerous and I can live with only a little over half of my pancreas. My stool test shows I have all the enzymes I need to digest food.

Sitting in my valley of peace tonight. Not much on my calendar or on my pending list of things to do. Hoping time will slow down a bit for me. This year has flown by and I am ready for it to slow down a bit. There is a richness to these empty space days that I want to soak in.

Grateful for all the stamps that have been sent, grateful my recovery was easy, and grateful for air conditioning on this hot, humid summer day.

Went to Wichita late morning for my procedure. I showed up at the wrong place. I never did receive my pre-op instructions and when the lady called to schedule it she didn’t say where I was having it. There is an out patient facility next to my doctor’s office so I assumed I was going there.

Luckily I showed up 15 minutes early and the place I needed to be at was 10 minutes away. The lady at the desk started telling me instructions but I don’t know Wichita and they meant nothing to me. Thank heavens for GPS.

We got to the place on time. I had to fill out paper work. They asked if I had any family history and gave me about two inches of space to write it. Since I was going in for tummy issues I didn’t write anything assuming they were wondering about those types of family issues.

After I did the initial paperwork someone from admissions came and I had to sign my life away. She really didn’t explain what I was signing and I didn’t ask.

We went to a different waiting room and then a nurse came out and took me back. She was efficient and got the IV on the first poke. They even put it in my right hand as I had to lay on my left side for the procedure. Usually I have to ask to have them put it in my right hand. Since I had on elastic waisted pants, I didn’t even have to take them off.

After she got me ready she went and got Kathy and brought her back. I asked the nurse to help Kathy find me and then to be sure to take her back to the waiting room as she would get lost otherwise.

We only waited for about ten minutes before they came to get me to take me to the OR. The nurse that took me back, stopped and took Kathy to the waiting room instead of just giving directions. I appreciated that.

Got to the OR and it didn’t take them long to knock me out. Man is that room cold! Next thing I knew I was in recovery.

I woke up and no one was around. A nurse finally came in and said oh, you are awake already. She went and got Kathy and brought her back.

We had to wait about 15 minutes for the doctor to show up. He told me I had some sort of trauma to my pancreas years ago. The trauma had caused a stone to form and block a duct. About 1/2 of my pancreas is dead but luckily you only need about 1/3 of it to be OK. The only trauma I can think of is way back in high school I took a basketball to my gut area. It hit hard enough it left an imprint of the ball’s ridges on my stomach. I also fell off of a horse about that same time frame. Other than that, I don’t remember any trauma to my gut.

He did say my stomach looked angry so he took some biopsy pieces of it. Everything else looked good. His office is going to call me to schedule a colonoscopy but he said it wasn’t urgent.

He also told me the stool test I had done earlier this week came back normal with my results higher than normal which means my pancreas is creating plenty of enzymes to digest my food. The pancreas is not what is causing any of my tummy issues.

After he left, I got dressed and we were out of there. We were home a little after 4:00. Way earlier than I had expected we would be.

I’ve eaten a sandwich and I think I might go lay down for a bit. Not feeling any pain except for a bit of a sore throat which they told me would happen. Overall it was an easy procedure and by tomorrow I should be good to go.

The hospital where we went was efficient, small and all the people I encountered were pleasant. Overall it was a pleasant experience and much easier than anticipated.

I will rest the rest of the day and be good to go tomorrow.

Grateful for a safe procedure, grateful for the compassionate care I received today, and grateful Kathy was able to drive me home safely.

Woke up to the sound of thunder. It was a rainy, cool morning today. Nice to have a break from the heat.

Kathy and I went to Olpe to go to the meat locker and give them cutting orders for the steer that was butchered last Friday. After that we went to the Chicken House and had lunch. Nice to have a treat after taking care of business.

Came home and I was cold. I turned on the electric blanket on my bed and laid down for a bit. Didn’t sleep much but it felt good to rest. I am hoping I can stay up late and sleep in tomorrow morning. I have to be in Wichita at 1:00 tomorrow and can’t eat or drink all morning. If I sleep it away, I won’t notice. At least, that is my plan.

I didn’t get the pre op instructions in the mail today. The lady that called to make the appointment was having trouble hearing me. She kept saying I was cutting out. I did hear her say to fast after midnight. I trust there weren’t any other important instructions. I think they would have reached out to me if there were. I signed up for their patient portal as she said they would be on there but if they are on it, I can’t find it. Wonder why every doctor seems to have a different portal? Wish they could standardize them so it would be easy.

I did find out on the portal that although I am to be at the office at 1:00, the procedure isn’t scheduled until 2:30. The schedule says they are allowing 30 minutes for it. I read on a different site that recovery will be up to 60 minutes so probably won’t get started home until after 4:00 if they are running on time. That late in the day I doubt that they are on time. We shall see. Kathy will have a long wait in the waiting room. I need to remind her to take some snacks and her water cup.

No plans for the weekend. I read on a different site that if they take a biopsy of the pancreas it may take a few days to feel OK afterwards. I don’t have any plans all next week either so will have lots of time to recover. I hope they have the stool test results to give me tomorrow. I haven’t seen anything about that test on the portal either.

Grateful I have all this empty space time. It makes recovery easier when I don’t have to push myself to take care of something. Love in Action is in a quiet time right now too. Nothing planned for it until Labor Day in September. I have till the middle of August to come up with an idea of what to do for the holiday. One of the Detainees keeps asking for pizza again. I’ll have to see how my budget is holding up and see if we can pull off doing pizza for Labor Day and then again for Thanksgiving.

I would like to get back to finishing up the website. My helper hasn’t been around this week. I will send him an email the first of next week and maybe we can finish up the site and go live with it. That is about the only pending project on my list right now.

As I wrote yesterday about the peaceful valley I am in I got to thinking about how long it has been since I have been here. It has been so long that I can’t remember the last time. It feels like I can let go, relax and surrender to the moment without thought about what is to come. Nice place to be in for however long it lasts. These peaceful valleys usually come after a period of great personal growth and integration. Not sure what that was all about but nice to settle into the openness of the peace.

Grateful for the cool, rainy day, grateful for a nap under a warm blanket, and grateful for the peaceful place I am in.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day. I made a quick trip to the bank downtown but other than that have stayed home. Kathy had a doctor’s appointment this morning so she was gone all morning.

I hit the bonanza in the mail today. Got a check, two books of stamps, a new Pen Pal request, and three thank you notes from Detainees for the cupcakes last week. Felt like Christmas morning.

Did some paperwork and got caught up on writing thank you notes and recording donations. Wrote a letter to one of my donors that doesn’t have Facebook. I include copies of the updates I have made so she can stay informed as to what is happening. I assigned the new Pen Pal request to their volunteer.

It is a bit cooler today than it has been. The neighbors took advantage of that and mowed our yard today. Three of them do it together and it doesn’t take them long. It is fun to watch their family work together.

Got on the new doctor in Wichita’s patient portal today. Found out my procedure Friday is at 2:30. I have to be there at 1:00 to get ready. Kathy will have a long afternoon of sitting and waiting for me. I trust her anxiety won’t get the best of her.

The doctor hasn’t posted the notes from my visit last week and the results of the stool test aren’t posted yet either. Not sure how this office works and how long it takes for those things to be posted.

Got the results of my blood results checking for cancer back. Both levels had risen but only by .5. This has happened before and the doctor is never concerned about that. They usually drop the next time. She says it can be lab error as much as anything when the difference is that small.

Tomorrow I am going to Olpe to give them cutting orders for the beef. I found out it was taken last Friday to the locker. They won’t cut it for another couple of weeks but I like to make sure they have the orders for when they do so. I will go at lunch time and have lunch at the Chicken House in Olpe. I like eating there but rarely go there.

Friday I go back to Wichita for the third time in two weeks. Yikes! That road is going to look familiar. The procedure is scheduled for 30 minutes so will probably head home around 5:00 if they are running on time. I don’t get to eat before the procedure so may need to stop and get food on the way home. Although usually after something like that, food is the last thing I want.

No plans for the weekend or next week for that matter. I will have lots of empty space for recovery in case they do a biopsy of my pancreas to see what the stone or tumor is all about. Hoping I get some good news and find some answers to my tummy issues. Maybe it is something easy to fix.

Sitting in what I call the valley of life right now. Things are slowing down and falling into place. I have very little on my to-do list and certainly nothing urgent. I don’t feel the outside pressure from anyone or anything right now. It is a nice place to be. Feels like I haven’t been here for a long time. I never know how long this little pause in life will last. I will appreciate it for however long it lasts.

Grateful for all the wonderful mail today, grateful my paperwork is caught up, and grateful to rest in this peaceful valley of life.

Not much sleep last night. One of those nights where if I could fall asleep, I wouldn’t stay asleep long or if I did I had to wake up to change the dream channel. I don’t usually dream much but they were very strong last night.

I picked up Ellexia in Emporia at 10:00 this morning. She had a friend with her so we took her friend home. We stopped and got an iced tea and then dropped off her friend. Headed for Wichita after that.

First stop was my new gastro doctor. I dropped off my stool specimen. I checked with the front desk to make sure they had gotten the fax from my cardiologist giving them his clearance for my procedure. They had and she told me scheduling would be calling me.

We then went to Chipotle and had lunch. Second day in a row for me. Must be my lucky week.

After we ate we went to Towne East Mall and shopped until we dropped. I found a suitcase that I think I will like at the first store we went to. I didn’t buy it until we were on our way back to the car so I didn’t have to drag it all over.

Ellexia knew exactly which stores she wanted to go to and where they were. I gave her a budget and off we went. She bought things in three different stores and stayed below budget! She went to five different stores and didn’t find anything else she wanted. We stopped and bought the suitcase and then headed home.

I had tummy issues today and had to keep finding a bathroom today. I hate days like this when I am out and about and the only thing I can think of is where is the closest bathroom.

While I was in a bathroom the doctor’s office called to get me on his schedule for my first procedure. He can do it this Friday at 1:00. I was shocked. I really thought it would be August and maybe even September before he could do it. I didn’t have good reception on my phone so didn’t get good instructions. They are to mail them to me. If I don’t have them by Thursday, I will call and find out if there is anything I need to do. I looked up the procedure and what is recommended as prep. Other than fasting the day of, I think I should be good to go.

I will try to find out what portal his office uses as they can send me instructions that way too. Sometimes I get lucky and can figure those things out and other times not so much.

We stopped for one last potty stop at Matfield Green and I filled the car up with gas. It was 100 degrees outside when we stopped.

I got home a little after 3:00 I picked up my mail and found someone had mailed me 43 stamps for Love in Action. It feels like Christmas around here with all the donations and stamps that are coming in.

Roy Wentz sent me a PM with a link to the story he wrote about the Detainees and the impact all the deportations are having on local Kansans. The story is published in the KLCjournal.com on-line magazine. Love in Action is mentioned several times in the article. I wish I could change a few things about what he said but over all it is a great article.

He used several quotes from the Love in Action Facebook page and provided a link to that page in the article. It will be interesting to see if we get some new members and/or donors as a result.

No plans for the next two days. I’m grateful I changed my trip with Ellexia to today. She found out she is leaving on vacation Thursday morning and couldn’t have gone that day. With another trip to Wichita for me on Friday, I’m grateful I will have two rest days before that.

The Doctor may be doing a biopsy on the stone or tumor that is blocking my pancreas duct. I read about the down time afterwards and it doesn’t sound like it is bad. I will probably need to take it easy for a day or two but I had no plans for the weekend and even all of next week so have lots of empty space to heal in.

Not sure when I might get the results of the stool sample. Maybe he will talk to me Friday about them. I sure hope all of this leads to some answers and changes I can make to solve my tummy issues. It is becoming a quality of life issue and not a fun one! There is more to life than knowing where the closest bathroom is.

Kathy has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I don’t think she wants me to go with her but she may change her mind. She has been making a list of things to address with the doctor. I trust he will listen to her and help her find some solutions to her issues. Not sure why it seems to be hard to get to the root of medical problems these days. It feels more like they treat symptoms and not the real cause.

This has been a good day. I love spending time with Ellexia. She was fun and easy to be with today. I was impressed she didn’t buy something she really didn’t want just to spend all her budget. I was a bit gobsmacked that the doctor can do the procedure this week. I am cautiously optimistic that a solution can be found to some of my tummy issues.

Grateful for the time I got with Ellexia today, grateful the doctor can do the procedure this week and grateful for reporters that ask good questions and write independent stories about what is happening in this world.

I was out of the house and on my way to Topeka at 9:30 this morning. I had to stop and fill my car with gas and then I hit the Turnpike. I got to the ultrasound place at 10:45. I checked in and then went to the restroom. When I came back to the waiting room the lady that did the ultrasound was waiting for me.

She took me back and did her thing. I was out of the office before 11:00. I then went to a doctor’s office for a blood draw. It was a ten minute drive from the ultrasound place. I went in and registered and after a short wait they called me back. They had a student there and she asked permission to draw my blood. She did great but she needed three tubes and the vein stopped giving after two. She poked the other arm but missed the vein. Her teacher took over and dug around for a bit and got it in. They got the third tube full and I was done.

I went to lunch at Chipotle. There was no line and I got what I wanted, ate and then came home. I was home a little after 1:00.

I took a short nap this afternoon. I came home exhausted.

Tomorrow Ellexia and I are going to Wichita tomorrow. I need to drop off the stool sample and then we are going shopping. Not sure how long I will last but hopefully we can get through her list of things she wants. It will be fun to spend the day with her.

Thankfully I will have a few quiet days the rest of the week.

I got part of the blood work back and my TSH level was .7. That is a bit low but not dangerously so. I doubt that they change my medication. It tends to bounce around a bit. I prefer when my level is a bit low than too high. The rest of the blood work is the cancer level check and takes several days to come back.

Last night I made a loaf of banana bread. The house sure smelled delicious while it was baking. It turned out good. I hadn’t made it for a long time. I had three bananas that were too ripe to eat so turned them into bread.

I had sent a note to my Cardiologist about needing his approval before the Gastrointestinal doctor could schedule the test he wants to do. His office sent me a message back today saying they faxed his approval. I should hear from the Gastrointestinal doctor’s office tomorrow about a date for the test. I will check while I am there to make sure they got the fax.

Sitting in a quiet valley right now. Not much on my pending list of things to do. I am hoping life will feel like it is slowing down a bit for me. The first half of this year has flown by and I am ready for some slow down time. I need to make sure all parts of me are on the same timeline and that will take some slow, quiet time to make that happen.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka today, grateful my TSH levels are OK, and grateful for student blood suckers!

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day. I did manage to fix a tuna and noodle casserole for lunch. It is a good day when I fix something homemade for lunch.

Got a note from one of the Detainees thanking Love in Action for the pop and popcorn. He also called out Heather, who is the person inside that hands things out. I appreciated him naming her and sent her a copy of the email adding my thanks. Nothing we do at the Center would be possible without the help of the Staff that do the work to make it happen.

We got some light sprinkles this afternoon. I hadn’t checked the weather so was surprised to see it raining. I don’t think the temperature dropped much though.

A lady stopped and picked up the extra toner I had for my old copy machine. She didn’t take the new drum as she said it wouldn’t fit her machine. Grateful at least the toner found a home. I threw away the old machine.

I collected my stool sample today. I hadn’t read the instructions carefully enough and thought I could freeze it and take it Thursday when Ellexia and I had planned to go to Wichita. After I was done, I read the instructions again and discovered they had to have it within 72 hours of collection. I changed our day to go to Wichita from Thursday to Tuesday so I can be in that time frame.

I go to Topeka tomorrow for a throat ultrasound. I wanted a rest day or two in between trips to Topeka and Wichita but kinda blew that. Oh well, I will have the rest of the week after Tuesday to rest.

I am due for a blood draw too so after my ultrasound will go to the clinic in Topeka and get the blood draw taken care of. I will stop and have lunch and then come home. Since I am shopping Tuesday I don’t need to stop for anything else Monday.

It will be fun to spend the day with Ellexia Tuesday. She is so grown up and she knows what she wants when we shop. The day will go by quickly and we will have tales to tell.

Love in Action should quiet down again for a bit. I don’t have any more special events planned until Labor Day and I’m not sure what we are doing for that day. It seems a long ways away and I won’t think about it for about a month. Things have been a bit busy lately with it so grateful it will slow down for a bit.

The man from Germany has chosen to be deported. He is afraid for his life to stay in the US with the recent ICE murders. Germany does a good job of taking care of its citizens that return and he needs a fresh start. It will be hard for him to leave his son behind but maybe someday that can be changed.

I do want to get the new website up and running soon. I should hear back from the Captain about his preferences regarding the information I want to put on the site. Once I hear from him, we can finish up the site and go live.

Time for the long, quiet, hot days of summer to slow things down for me. For some reason today the world energy feels calmer to me than it has been. Doesn’t make sense as the war seems to be escalating but something switched again. Maybe we reached the tipping point and things are swinging back the other way. Sometimes the physical evidence of that is slow to show up.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful Ellexia can change from Thursday to Tuesday for our outing, and grateful for what rain we did get today.

This has been mostly a quiet, stay-at-home day. Haven’t gotten much done. It is hot as can be outside. Not fit for man or beast.

The new printer I ordered came in today. It gave me a run for my money to get it up and running but I persisted and did it! Man, I wish they would have someone that doesn’t speak computer proof their directions and translate them into plain speak. The new paper tray isn’t as deep as the old one I had. I don’t print that much these days so don’t think it will be an issue. The new printer’s copies are sure darker and easier to read. The old printer is over six years old so I think I got my money out of it. Those things have a planned obsolete timing to them. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did.

I listed on Chase County Cares and Shares my old printer. It has a brand new drum and toner in it plus I have an extra toner. Someone responded and they are coming to pick it up tomorrow. Grateful someone can use the parts and they won’t go to the dump. Not sure if they will take the old printer or not. Either way, the good stuff will get used.

I had a bacon and tomato sandwich for an early lunch. It was good but I could feel the tomato burning my tummy all the way down. I sure like fresh, garden tomatoes but my tummy does not. I also had two ears of fresh corn on the cob today. I don’t like eating it off the cob but man is it good. Garden produce at its best!

I went to the Dollar General and got a bag of ice and some more distilled water. Found a basket that will work for the blankets in my living room. I had them piled behind my chair and wanted to do something better with them. I might look for a nicer basket another day but this one will do until then. Not worth going shopping for a better one.

Got word from one of the Pen Pals that he decided to voluntarily sign his deportation papers. He is afraid, even if he does manage to get released, that he will be murdered by ICE. I don’t blame him. I did some research about Germany and how they are accepting the deportees and man are they doing it right. They have offices in all the major airports that accept the deportees and help them get to a shelter, get the proper paperwork, etc.

This guy has a home life that is anything but stable and he wasn’t sure it was a safe place to return to if he got released. Since he was going to have to start over anyways, he decided to go back to Germany and start over there. Sounds like they will help and support him more than the US will.

People are being forced to make decisions that no one should have to make these days. Why oh why are so many in the US afraid of people that don’t look like us? Not that long ago, our ancestors were immigrants. I just can’t wrap my brain around the hate and fear that is so strong in this country right now.

Did some work on the numbers for Love in Action today. We have raised over $19,000 in our first year of service. That doesn’t include all the goods that were shipped directly to the Center or ordered through the Amazon gift registry. Wow! That is impressive! Wonder what our second year will bring?

Feeling a bit restless today. Kathy has been restless today too. Too hot to get out and walk it off. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for the Pen Pal program and the ability to be a listening ear to the Detainees, grateful to Germany for welcoming the Detainees, and grateful I was able to get the printer up and running.

This has been one of those days. I finally told Kathy I wasn’t going to try doing anything else today as I will just mess it up. It was one of those days where everything I touched fell to the ground, broke, or scattered to the wind. Momma said there would be days like this!

I got caught up on my thank you notes. I got another donation in the mail today and managed to write a note to them and get the check to the bank. I mailed six thank you notes today.

Got a letter from a Pen Pal offering anniversary thank you’s. Her letter was very sweet. She attached two drawings she had made and had her bunk mates sign. In her letter she gave me her husband’s name and phone number and said she wanted us to reach out to him. He wants to do a fundraiser for Love in Action. Her Pen PAL is going to reach out to him. I suggested a stamp drive. How heart warming it is to get letters like this. Being able to write home means a lot to the Detainees.

I have four loads of laundry washed and dried. Next up is folding it and putting it away. It includes the sheets off my bed so will have to get it done today!

I went at 11:00 this morning and met a farmer that had a truck load of fresh corn on the cob as well as some tomatoes. I’m glad I got there at 11:00 because I think he was out of them by 11:15. I got a dozen ears and five tomatoes. Went and picked up some bacon and will enjoy a BLT tomorrow. Tomatoes do not agree with my picky tummy but I will eat at least one of them and tell my tummy to get over itself.

I got a letter from the doctor’s office I was at Tuesday. They are waiting for a clearance from my cardiologist before they can schedule the test. I will call the cardiologist office Monday and see if they have sent the clearance letter.

Got another six pack of Coke and took it to the Detention Center. I had taken 174 of them but they are very over crowded right now and needed one more 6 pack. Now they have 180 Cokes and 180 bags of popcorn for Sunday. Hoping that will do.

Sent the Captain an email letting him know about what I am doing with the new website for Love in Action. I shall give him a week to respond and will proceed if I don’t hear back from him. I know he was out on vacation this week. I want to add information to the website that lets family members know how to put money in commissary accounts, how to schedule a zoom meeting and how to send an email. I hope the Captain approves of this idea.

I went to the Courthouse and voted this afternoon. I made up my mind on the one race I was debating about and decided to get it done so I won’t forget.

A dental hygienist student got hold of me yesterday and scheduled a cleaning for September. Each year my name is passed along to the next year’s students. I’m grateful she called and got me on her books. She is getting to it and getting her books filled before school starts. Good for her!

No plans for Saturday or Sunday. Monday I am going to Topeka. Ellexia and I are going to Wichita Thursday. I will drop off the stool sample and then we are going to have lunch and shop till we drop. That won’t take long for me! Ellexia wants some school clothes and supplies.

I don’t like hard days like today. Everything I did seemed to be a struggle in someway. I’m ever so grateful I don’t have days like this everyday! Maybe I have them so I will appreciate the easy days more.

Grateful for the privilege of voting with no line, grateful for the letter from a Pen Pal, and grateful for fresh corn on the cob and fresh garden tomatoes.

It was not a night for easy sleep last night. Slept really good for about an hour and then was up and down for the next six hours. Finally took something and slept all morning.

Kathy and I headed into Emporia around 12:30. We picked up Ellexia and I dropped off some peaches for Michelle. We met Jason for lunch at Bobby D’s.

After lunch, Kathy, Ellexia and I went to Walmart where we purchased 29 six packs of Coke. They helped me load it all in my car and then we dropped off Ellexia and came home.

I had forgotten to put the bags of popcorn in my car so came home and got those and then Kathy and I went to the Detention Center with a car full of goodies. Our timing was perfect as the two people I needed to see were outside.

They called for help and it only took a couple minutes to get the car unloaded. I’m grateful I had gotten extras as they currently are overflowing with Detainees. They have a population of 170 today. Usually they have 148.

I may need to take one more 6 pack of Coke to them as we try to gift the staff that is on duty a treat too. They will chill the Coke and then serve it and the popcorn at halftime of the World Cup game Sunday.

I came home exhausted. I think I have a drug hang over from the pills I took during the night. I don’t want to take a nap this late though as it will continue the cycle I am in of not falling asleep until 2 or 3 in the morning.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I thought today was Friday so am struggling to figure the time thing out today.

Monday I go to Topeka for an Ultrasound and then the rest of the week is full of empty space.

Still haven’t heard from the Doctor’s office I went to Tuesday about scheduling the test he wants me to have. Maybe I should call them tomorrow? Not sure how their office works. I would like to get the stool test completed though so will probably take a trip to Wichita one day next week to drop off the sample. At this rate I may not get the test done until September or later.

I had purchased 10 rolls of stamps earlier this month before the cost of stamps goes up. My cash reserves is getting low again as we have done four special events in the last several weeks. Maybe by the time Labor Day rolls around, my reserves will be built back up again. We have enough to do one and maybe two more special events before I will have to raise funds again. We should be set for stamps for a while with what has come in through the stamp drive and the 10 rolls I purchased. I got 100 more stamps in the mail today.

No word yet on the exercise equipment. Who ever they ordered it from is running behind.

We have some little white flowers on the spider plant we have. I have never seen it bloom before.

This has felt like a bit of roller coaster week to me. Saturday was a high during the party but fell off the cliff with the UTI. Got the note from the Detainee about his justified fear which gutted me and then I dropped off the Coke and popcorn which is a high. Guess that is a snap shot of life though. Some days it can be hard to stay steady through all of the ride.

Grateful for the Staff at the Center that will pass out the Coke and Popcorn Sunday, grateful to have lunch with Jason, Ellexia, and Kathy, and grateful I have some down time ahead of me.

Where does time go. Can’t believe it is the middle of July already. Yet July 4th seems months ago. Time and I are not connected well these days.

It has been a quiet day at home. Have done a bit of housecleaning today. Figured out a solution to a problem I have in the living room. Need to get something that will fix it. Took a few things out of the room and took something’s to the shed.

Got an email from one of the Detainees that hurt my heart today. I am going to add it here so I will have record of it in case Facebook goes down.

“ICE is yet again in the News killing 2 innocent human beings in 2 different states. I’m actually afraid of my life remaining in this country because ICE may walk in here with guns oneday and just shoot us for no reason like they have done in the past and very recently. Due to my fear being murdered by ICE I will tell the Judge at my next hearing that I need to be deported ASAP. Where I will have freedom and won’t fear ICE the police any goverment agency won’t randomly lock me up and treat me like an animal and/or won’t murder me for no reason. They are murdering innocent people and then they mentioned in the news that the ICE officers who murdered a innocent person will get re-trained. Being able to murder someone and their employer the goverment saying they will be re-trained is very disgusting. Many and myself will never be able to have freedom and justice in this country. Innocent until proven guilty doesnt exist for us because we aren’t allowed to fight our pending charges. I cannot continue living in a country where the goverment abuses and tortures and kills their residents.”

This was my response on the page: “From one of our Pen Pals. Please remember we are bearing witness to their stories. May their pain and fear be heard in your heart. Those who choose, even on a small scale, to love in the midst of hatred and fear are the people who offer true hope to our world.”

Man, how difficult and challenging these days are for our undocumented friends. They can’t catch a break. Their path to citizenship is being taken away from them, if it hasn’t already. They are stuck in detention with no hearings or possibility of bonding out. Once released they will worry about being shot. Yet for some of them, going back home to their home country is even more dangerous. What are they to do?

Luckily the man that wrote the above note has a safe country to go to. I did some research for him and discovered the churches in his country are stepping up big time and even have spaces in all the major airports to welcome these immigrants back into the country and help them find safe shelter, paperwork, jobs, etc. Man, can you imagine if US could do that?

Tomorrow I am picking up Ellexia at 1:00 and then we are meeting Jason for lunch. Kathy may come with us too. After lunch I will go to Walmart and pick up the Coke for the World Cup Final Event at the Detention Center Sunday. We will drop it off at the Center on our way home. I have some peaches to share with Michelle that I will take to town and I need to pick up a few groceries while I am getting the Cokes.

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Topeka for an ultrasound. Trying to think of something else to do while I am there but can’t think of anything yet. I just am not a shopper unless I have a specific thing to track down.

The rest of next week after Monday is empty space. I have a few things on my list to take care of but not much.

I didn’t hear today from the doctor’s office I went to yesterday to schedule my test. Wonder how long it will take them to call and then how long out the test will be. Things don’t happen very urgently these days. If the test is a couple weeks out, I will have to drive to Wichita one day next week and drop off a stool sample.

Sitting with some unease tonight. It started after I got the Pen Pal note. I am allowing my feelings to be stirred up so I can honor them and then release them. Not always an easy process though. My brain has been trying to tell me all day I am not doing enough to help them. I know what I am doing is important work and is helpful to some. The greater need is so big I don’t know what else to do.

If I remember, I will go up and vote tomorrow as early voting has opened. Still trying to decide on one of my votes which way to go. I will allow my intuition to guide me when I vote if I don’t decide before then.

Grateful for what cleaning I got done today, grateful for the Pen PAL program that gives the Detainees a place to vent, and grateful for all that read the posts and bear witness to their stories.

I was up early and on the road by 7:40 this morning. I had a doctor’s appointment in Wichita at 9:20 and they requested I come 30 minutes early to fill out paperwork.

I got there in good time and filled out 12 pages of paperwork. Geez! I wonder if anyone even reads it.

The nurse that checked me in was friendly and efficient. She spent lots of time entering things on the computer, took my vitals and then left.

This was my first visit to meet this Doctor. He is young and I liked the way he listened and asked questions. I didn’t like when he said several times why did you do that when I was telling him I did what a doctor told me to do. I don’t know, why don’t you call the doctor and ask why they said to do that!

He thinks my pancreas problems may have been caused by Covid. He said he is seeing lots of new patients that have similar problems now. The tail of my pancreas is atrophied and he said that is usually from a block in the duct. The CT scan shows I have a stone in the duct but the MRI didn’t confirm that. He wants to do a test where he sends a camera down my throat far enough so he can visualize the pancreas. If needed, he will take a biopsy of the stone or tumor or whatever is causing the duct blockage. Not sure when that is going to happen as they haven’t called me to schedule it yet.

When that test is done and whatever we need to do to fix that problem, then he wants to schedule a colonoscopy. When I told him I got into trouble last one he said why did they have you do a two day prep. I told him to call the doctor and ask him I just was doing what I was told to do. His prep is different and he allows the patient to determine if they need round two or not based on the results they are getting.

I asked about doing both at the same time but he discouraged it. He said if he has to take a biopsy that doing the colonoscopy afterwards would increase the risk of complications. I agreed to wait on the colonoscopy.

I told him about the reaction my stomach sometimes does to me after eating a meal. I try not to eat till I am full but two or three hours after I eat I feel overfull and it can take up to eight hours for that to pass. I struggle to even drink water when it happens. He thinks the pancreas is not producing the proper enzymes to break down the food. I have to take him a stool sample and he will test for it. He said it is an easy fix with medication. Not sure when I will take the stool back to him. If they schedule the other test soon I will wait and take it when I go for that. If it is a month or so out, I will have to make a trip to Wichita to deliver a specimen sooner. It is exciting to think that issue can be solved easily.

Overall I liked the doctor and found his staff to be competent. We shall see how far out he is booked and how quickly he can do this procedure.

After I was done at his office I went to Costco and manage to find things I didn’t know I needed plus got the couple things I did need. They were not busy today so it was a good time to go.

I then went to Chipotle and had lunch and then came home. I got home around 12:30. Kathy helped me get the car unloaded and I managed to get things put away.

When I got home, the neighbors were here mowing. I had a nice chat with the man of the house. I had met him before but hadn’t taken time to chat with him. I so appreciate them mowing for us.

I haven’t done much this afternoon. I wanted to take a nap but decided not to. Hoping I can sleep tonight and then get up tomorrow and get some things done around here. The level of lack of cleanliness is starting to bother me and it is time to clean.

My printer froze up today. It tells me I have a paper jam and I don’t. I did all the troubleshooting things several videos told me to try and no luck. The printer is over six years old so thinking it is into its planned obsolete thing that electronics seem to enter. I ordered a new one that will be here Monday. If anyone knows about these things and wants it to try to unstick it, you are welcome to it. Wouldn’t you know I just put a new toner and drum in it. How do they time there things to blow up when you spend money to put new guts in them?

Thursday I need to go to Emporia and get Coke’s for the Detainees for their World Cup treat. I am to drop off the Coke and Popcorn Thursday afternoon at the Center. I will check with Jason and see if he is free for lunch that day and make the trip to town more fun. I probably need to get some groceries while I am at Walmart picking up the Cokes.

No plans for the weekend. Next Monday I have to go to Topeka for an Ultrasound. It is my normal six month thyroid check up time. I think I go to annually after this next appointment as I am almost ten years out from having cancer. I had my thyroid removed in 2017. How is that almost 10 years ago? That time thing gets me sometimes. The chances of a reoccurrence after 10 years is 1%. I like my chances at this point of staying cancer free.

Geez, if it wasn’t for doctor’s appointments I might not have to leave the house much. I have several trips to Wichita coming up whenever they get scheduled. I have two trips to Topeka sometime in August for other doctor appointments there.

Got another nice donation for Love in Action today. These donations always motivate me to continue to find ways to support the Detainees. After the World Cup treats we don’t have anything else special planned. I will come up with something for Labor Day and then start thinking about the fall and winter holidays and see what we can do for them then. It will be nice when the piece of exercise equipment comes in and I pay our share of that. Still not sure how much that will be so it is hard to budget until that number gets plugged in. I’m still expecting it to arrive any day.

Feeling a bit optimistic that maybe some of my health challenges will finally get resolved. It is interesting to me how the two different gut doctors choose different approaches to my problems. I like figuring out the pancreas first as that seems to be the more pressing of my concerns. Trusting this doctor will actually follow-up and do what he says he will do. I never have heard back from the other office about the results of the MRI I had done in May or to reschedule the colonoscopy.

Grateful for a new doctor that appears to be competent, grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, and grateful for my neighbors that mowed our yard today.

This has been a quiet, stay at home day. I did take a deposit to the bank and dropped off a few more thank you notes at the post office but other than that I have stayed home. Managed to get two loads of laundry washed, folded and put away. I will call that my win of the day.

The popcorn I ordered from Costco for the Detainees World Cup event came in today. I will go to Emporia later this week and pick up the Coke and then deliver all of it to the Detention Center either Friday or Saturday. They will get the Cokes chilled and be ready to serve it during the World Cup finals on Sunday.

Did a bit of paperwork today. Wrote a few more thank you notes, filled out a form I need to take and get notarized either tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday, and caught the Love in Action books up. I wrote out somethings that the guy putting together my website needs.

I looked up the song that Elexa Dawson sang Saturday at the party. The song moved me and I wanted to learn more about it. It was written by Woody Guthrie about a plane crash of Detainees back in 1948. The press referred to the Detainees that were killed as Detainees and did not name them. They were all placed in a mass grave without any individual attention.

The guy I found on YouTube told the history of what happened and how some people came together to identify the crash victims and place markers for each of them at the cemetery. The song tells how the workers were treated.

I posted a link to the story and song on my Facebook page. Worth listening to. I guess things haven’t changed much since 1948 and what is happening now to the Detainees is not new. When will we learn?

Had a request from a Pen Pal that I had to refuse today. He needed some help writing and mailing some legal documents. Love in Action has committed to not get involved in legal affairs. What would happen if I didn’t understand what he was saying and typed the wrong thing and his motion was denied as a result? Hard to say no but I can’t be responsible for legal matters when I have no idea what I am doing. Dang, this can be hard sometimes.

Tomorrow I have to be on the road to Wichita by 7:35 so I can be at the doctor’s office by 8:45. I have to fill out paperwork when I get there. My appointment is at 9:20. It shall be interesting to see what he has to say and recommend. I trust he is a good listener and will hear my concerns and actually take them into consideration. Not all doctors will do that.

Plan on stopping at Costco afterwards. I have a short list of things I need but am sure I will find other things I forgot I needed while I am there. If I time things right, I will have lunch at Chipotle but if I don’t take lots of time at the Doctor’s office, I may not be able to stop. I won’t hang around and wait till they open.

No plans for the rest of the week other than picking up the Coke and delivering things to the Center. Maybe I will get around to doing the housework that I need to do.

It is becoming increasingly harder for me to read the news again. Wow, one could quickly fall down the rabbit hole reading the news right now. Fear mongering is rising to a feverish peek. I need to step away from it for a few days and make sure I am well grounded in love. Falling into the muck pond and not adding love to the world right now is not where I want to be.

The antibiotics are working and I am feeling better. My kidney area is still tender but they are not shooting pain off and on like there were before. The culture grew multi flora and nothing specific or particularly harmful so that was good news. I have two more days of pills to take and then I will have my urine checked again to make sure it is clean.

Grateful the antibiotics seem to be working, grateful I got some paperwork done today, and grateful for songs that tell our history.

This has been a rest and recovery day. I had trouble finding sleep last night. I think I was too tired to sleep! Things broke loose inside and I peed about every 30 minutes for three hours. That can interrupt sleep too!

Woke up feeling better than I have for a bit. Even had a bit of energy to get the rest of the car unloaded, dishes washed and everything put away from yesterday. Got a few thank you notes written and have several more to write. Having trouble finding words for a couple of them.

My neighbor’s son came over today. We had talked yesterday about him helping create a website for me. I hadn’t planned on getting going on it this quick but he was here and ready to go. We had a conversation and then he got on my desktop and we figured out a domain, etc. Have no idea what any of that means but I have a website now. I chose Chasecountydetainees.com as the website as I want detainees families to find it when they are searching about the Chase County Detention Center. Love in Action will be featured within the site.

We talked about what I wanted on the site and he went home. About an hour later he came back over and showed me the site. We still have some copy to write and I need to let the Detention Center know what I am doing and then we can go live.

Man, that was easy. He is 12 or 13 years old! I told Kathy he saved me many cuss words and throwing things. He asked me if I wanted the code to get into the website to edit it and I said it would do me no good. He is even creating a logo and banner!

He is to track how many hours he is spending and then I will pay him. We didn’t finalize how much per hour I will pay him. Have no idea what is fair but will let my intuition guide me. He will keep the site updated as needed. How easy is that?

One of the ladies that was at the party yesterday had taken pictures of the thank you displays that the Detainees had made. She blurred out names for privacy and then she posted the giant cards to the Love in Action site. I’m glad we have a permanent record of them. They are special and I am so grateful for them.

I made a peach cobbler using some of the peaches I got Friday. It is yummy! One of my all time favorites, especially when I eat it warm with some ice cream. Yes, I ate that today!

For the most part I am feeling better. Still have some tenderness in the kidney area but I think it is better. I have drank lots today and the burning feeling and heaviness in my bladder is gone. I think the antibiotics are doing the trick. Someone should call me tomorrow with the culture results. We shall see if they need to do anything different after those results come in.

No plans for tomorrow. I need to finish up my thank-you notes and go to the bank to deposit some checks from yesterday. I need to mop the kitchen floor – I will see if I get that done tonight or if it will wait till tomorrow.

Tuesday I have to be at the Doctor’s office in Wichita by 8:50. That will make an earlier than normal morning for me. I hope I have the energy to stop at Costco when I am done. Costco is close to the office so won’t have to drive across town out of my way to stop. It will be interesting to see what this doctor recommends and how long it will take to do whatever is needed. Not expecting many answers Tuesday.

The rest of the week is empty space. One day I will need to go get groceries. I want to share some peaches with Michelle so might run those in to her tomorrow. I’ve been trying to hook up with Ellexia every other week or so for lunch so will try to do that this week. Her social calendar is much fuller than mine and it can be hard to find time she is free.

Still basking in the glow the event yesterday gave me. So much support and love was shown to me. I trust those that came felt the same love back to them.

Have lots of empty space coming up. With the event behind me now, I don’t have lots on my plate. Trying to decide what to do with all this empty space. Days seem to pass quickly even when I don’t plan anything.

Grateful for a new website in progress, grateful everything got put away from yesterday, and grateful I am feeling better.

I got up and got going this morning around 8:00. I got the iced tea made and the car loaded for the day. Stopped and picked up some ice and then headed up to the Old School.

Met the person that rents the place out and signed the papers and was given instructions on how to lock up, etc. The lady generously gave Love in Action a donation. Nice way to start the day.

Kathy and I got the car unloaded and set up the room where we had the party. We were done with lots of time left to spare. Guests started arriving around 11:15 and there was a steady flow for a bit. We ended up with around 25 – 30 people.

I got nervous when the food hadn’t showed up by 11:40 as it was to have been there at 11:30. I called to check on it and was told they were on their way. They got there around 11:45. Everything was as ordered and delicious as always.

We didn’t get started eating until 12:20. I had everyone fill their plates and then while they were eating I did my presentation of our history. Several questions were asked and the audience was very attentive and interested.

The Lieutenant from the Center came bearing gifts. She had the Detainees write on two different poster boards words of appreciation for Love in Action. One of the Detainees wrote “The best jail experience I’ve ever had. Thank you.” We all had to smile at that one – bet there is a fascinating story behind that comment. The other comments were touching.

After I was done talking we served cake and ice cream while Elexa set up. She entertained up with her beautiful music and soul until 2:00. I was moved to tears a couple times during her music.

Two dear friends stayed and helped us clean up and get my car loaded back up. I so appreciated their help. I was running on fumes by then.

We got home and only unloaded the food items. The rest can wait till tomorrow. We had lots of food left over. I sent a text to a friend that has lots of extra company here and to my delight she agreed to come over and take the remaining leftovers home. Kathy and I each got what we wanted and I was done with the rest of it. Now it won’t go to waste.

I woke up with blood in my urine again today. I did my best to drink as much as I could possibly get down. I felt a bit nauseous and wasn’t able to eat anything today. I still had some blood showing when I got home today so went to Urgent Care. My kidney area is very tender as is my abdomen.

I had the best ever experience with the PA that saw me and the nurse that helped. I told the PA when I left she is better than the doctors in the ER and I wish she could be my regular physician.

I have “dirty’ urine. They are running cultures and will call when they get any results. We had a long discussion about how to treat me. My drug allergies and my C-Diff history make taking antibiotics complicated for me. She is treating me for a UTI infection but I may have some kidney involvement. She played it conservative with my approval. If I start running a temperature or have increased pain I am to return ASAP. Not sure what they will be able to prescribe but we may have to risk the side effects if I do have a kidney infection.

Went to Walmart to pick up the scripts she sent in. She gave me a five day dose of the antibiotic that is used to treat C-Diff as a preventative measure. The first sign of diarrhea I am also to return.

Hoping this antibiotic and lots of fluids will do the trick and it won’t progress any further.

I had my breath taken away a couple times today. The lady that made the patches she sold as a fundraiser for Love in Action brought me a quilt she had made. The note she put with it and the work that went into the quilt is beyond amazing. I shall treasure the quilt and the note forever. I rarely get caught off guard with a surprise but that one got me today.

The Lieutenant that came today also spoke for a bit to thank the donors for the work that is being done within the jail by Love in Action. She shared how the mood of the Center has been changed because of Love in Action and how their job is easier and safer. She and the Sergeant that hands out the cards to the Detainees gave me a gift and a card. That took my breath away too.

Elexa’s first song she sang reduced me to tears and took my breath away. I don’t know the name of the song but it is about Detainees being deported without anyone naming their names. It so stated what is happening in the US these days and moved me deeply.

Seeing the friends I have show up and be present today took my breath away too. They have been with me supporting this program from the very beginning and their support means the world to me. One of the couples called me this afternoon and shared their positive thoughts about the day. I get to take all the credit when it is the donors that make it all possible.

There were four donors that came from all over the state. Three of them I had never met before. I so appreciate them taking the time to make the drive and effort to attend.

What a roller coaster of a day. I am grateful for all that came today and how each person added to the event. I am grateful that I had a wonderful PA this evening and have meds to help.

I’m sure more will come to me when I have had a day or two to process the day. It was one of the best days I have had in a long time and the love and support of old and new friends made it special.

Grateful for Urgent Care and very competent care from a PA that really heard me, grateful for today and all the breath stopping moments that happened, and grateful tomorrow is a rest day.

I left for town a little after 9:00 this morning. I stopped and got a case of CO peaches – one of my favorites! Filled the car with gas and then went to pick up the cake and cupcakes.

They had the cupcakes in a cart already and a lady pushed them out and another lady brought out the cake. They took them to my car and loaded me up. That was easy!

Stopped by the Detention Center on my way home and dropped off the cupcakes. There was a table in the lobby and I loaded up the table with the 13 dozen cupcakes, one dozen gluten-free cupcakes and two dozen sugar-free cookies.

Came home and started loading my car up with the things I need for tomorrow. I brought the cake inside so it wouldn’t melt in the heat of the day. Tomorrow I will put it in the car along with the ice cream cups and iced tea. I will stop and get several bags of ice and then go to the Old School and get everything unloaded and set up. A few friends are coming early so we should be all set up and ready to go by noon.

Had a moment of panic today about how much food I ordered. Man I would hate to not have enough but I don’t want way too much either. People do not RSVP these days. I have run Love in Action on intuition and I picked a number based on that. I will trust that is good enough.

A friend dropped by this afternoon for a brief chat. I got us into a sticky, icky mess and we needed to chat. She was most gracious and helped me see another point of view.

I need to learn to stick to what direction my intuition leads me and not try to solve others issues. That gets me into messes every time. That isn’t what I am being called to do right now. I am to share and bear witness. That is enough! Reminder to self. That is enough!

Got two notes already from our Pen Pals thanking us for the cupcakes. It is sweet of the Detainees to take the time to let us know they appreciate our efforts.

I will free up lots of brain space after the event tomorrow. It has taken up space for the last month. After my doctor’s appointment in Wichita Tuesday, I don’t have much on my calendar for the rest of the month. I have to go to Topeka for an ultrasound one day the following week but other than that the month is full of empty space. I do have a new project I want to attempt to get up and running for Love in Action. We shall see if I can pull that off. They seem to take way longer than I think they should if I can even get permission to proceed.

Trusting I will get a good night’s sleep tonight. Last time I did an event I didn’t sleep at all the night before and was running on empty during the whole event. I got through it but don’t remember much of it. Somehow some way, I need to make my peace with sleep and figure out how to find it when I need it.

Excited to meet some donors tomorrow. I know of a few that are coming that I haven’t met before. It is a good thing to connect personally with them and to be able to thank them for their support. I still am amazed perfect strangers trust me with their funds.

Grateful the cupcakes were delivered and enjoyed by the Detainees, grateful the car is loaded and ready to go, and grateful for all that show up tomorrow.

This has been a quiet day. I did go out to lunch after I deposited a check at the bank. Other than that, I have stayed home and enjoyed the quiet. Our neighbors are having a big metal shop built and the workers have played loud music. I will be happy when they get done.

I got 60 stamps and a check for $50 for Love in Action in the mail today. Always a good day when donations come in. I also got another request from a Detainee that wants a Pen Pal. This Detainee is being held for the US Marshall Service on a drug charge.

I think I am ready for Saturday. I have everything stacked up and ready to load into the car Saturday morning. Tomorrow I will go to Emporia in the morning and pick up the cake and cupcakes. My favorite Colorado peaches are to be in town tomorrow so will stop and get a box of those while I am in town.

I will drop the cupcakes off at the Detention Center and bring the birthday cake inside for the day. I’m afraid it will melt in the heat if I leave it in the car overnight.

I will load up the stuff that the heat won’t bother tomorrow and then Saturday I only have to do the cake, ice cream and ice.

Sure hope I have enough food. People do not RSVP these days so have no idea how many to expect. We will serve how ever many we can and then the rest can have lots of cake!

I’ll be glad when the party is over. It feels like it has taken lots of my time and attention. Not sure that is true but it has taken up brain space. The older I get the more I need brain space that is free! Ha!

Made contact with the lady that rents the space we are using Saturday. She is going to have the tables out and set up so all I have to do is add chairs and rearrange the tables. That will make set-up easier. Last time I held an event there, clean up went fast as the guests that came helped!

Next week I have to be in Wichita by 8:50 Tuesday morning. That is early for me these days. I think I will plan on going to Costco afterwards. I don’t have a long list of things I need but I will be close and it will save me another trip another day.

I ordered the popcorn I want for the 19th for the Detainees to be shipped directly to me. Not sure the store carried it and if they would have had five cases of it. This way I know I will have it and it will be one less thing to think about. I will have to buy Cokes late next week.

This has been another busy month for Love in Action. June seemed busy too. I am thinking things will slow down after the July 19 event as I don’t have any other events planned yet. We will come up with something for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas later.

When things slow down I want to schedule a meeting with the Captain. I haven’t met with him for a bit. I want to find out how families learn about how to email and call Detainees and how they learn how to put funds in Commissary accounts. I am exploring the possibilities of developing a website that has that information but I would need him to share it with the families. We haven’t done any outreach to the families and this would open the door to that possibility.

I also want to explore the possibility of adding funds to Commissary accounts, especially for those that are there for extended times and their families can’t afford to do so. No funds means no phone contact with children left behind. Not sure we can afford to fund everyone though so will have to figure out a way to help those that really need it. This stuff can get complicated!

It is expensive for the families left behind to communicate with their loved one that is detained. Phone calls, emails, zoom meetings all cost the families. When a family is down to one income sometimes that means those means of communication can’t be funded.

Oh the possibilities of expanding our program. I think the funding will come in if we can do more things. I always am aware that we are 100% funded with donations and the generosity of strangers (to me) and I don’t want to always be asking for funds and over extend myself.

This little project keeps trucking along. I get frustrated with our limitations and need to stop and be grateful for all the things we have been able to do.

I am out of touch with my group of friends. It has been too long since we have gathered. Maybe after my doctor’s appointment next week I can get something pulled together so we can gather. I’m sure others have been busy too and have lots to share.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for my air conditioning on this hot and humid summer day, and grateful for on-line ordering.

Happy birthday Jason! So proud of you and the man you have become. I’m grateful you are in my life and I treasure the time I spend with you.

I met Jason at 11:30 to celebrate his birthday with him. We enjoyed lunch together. I made a mistake and ordered chicken wings instead of chicken tenders. Not much meat on wings and hard to get to. My mistake though.

I took my car through the car wash and then went to Walmart. I picked up my new pair of glasses. Things look a bit sharper to me although I don’t think the prescription changed much. At least I don’t look through scratches now.

Got the ice cream cups for the birthday party Saturday and some sugar free cookies to take to the Detainees on Friday. The other Detainees will enjoy a cupcake.

Came home after that. Discovered I have a crack in the middle of my windshield. It developed while I was going through the car wash. I don’t think the car wash caused it. Rather certain that I had a chip and the pressure from the car wash released the crack. Dang it anyways. I will have to find some time to take it in and get it replaced. I will check my insurance to see if they cover that. At least it is not in my vision field as it goes from the mirror downwards.

Took two naps this afternoon. The first one I had a time warp thing. I swear I fell asleep and slept for a bit but the clock showed me I was only in bed for about five minutes. I had a friend come over and we visited for a bit and then I took another nap. Still feel exhausted and not sure why. I didn’t think town took it out of me today but maybe it did.

I got a VENMO donation of $100 today and when I got the mail someone had send 75 stamps. It must be my lucky day! I so appreciate these donations as they keep this little project alive.

No plans for tomorrow. Friday I have to pick up the cake and cupcakes at 10:00. I will take the cupcakes to the Detention Center when I get back to town. Saturday I have the birthday party at noon. The food is to be delivered by 11:30. I will go up around 10:30 and get things set up. Still no idea how many to plan for but will set for 40 and hope for the best. That is how much food I ordered for. I have found the food usually stretches so should be able to feed at least 50, if not more. I really don’t think that many are coming though.

I struggle with my Apple password. I can’t seem to get all three Apple devices to use the password. I have tried changing it and some will take it but not all three. Man, why does this have to be so hard!

Next week I have a doctor’s appointment in Wichita Tuesday morning but other than that I have empty space. I may go to Costco while I am in Wichita as Costco is fairly close to where the doctor’s office is. I didn’t call today and get the records. I decided if the office really needs them they can call and get them . I will take a hardcopy of the results and call it good.

Feeling a step off tonight. A bit unsettled and ungrounded. I will go out and take a walk in a bit and see if that helps. It hasn’t cooled off too much yet though. There are some clouds and a slight chance we will get some light rain for the next 30 minutes. I will wait till that passes and then go walk.

Grateful to have lunch with Jason today, grateful all I need for the party Saturday is in the house, and grateful that I will feel better tomorrow.