Starry night on the prairie

I haven’t had too much of a reaction to my vaccines I got yesterday. My arm is a bit sore but not bad. Have been tired and low energy today and not very hungry but no fever or body aches. I will call that a win!

I finally found a vendor for men’s sweat pants. I have spent hours looking and kept coming up short. I finally found one that will make an exception and sell to a nonprofit. The price is less than $8 a pair! I had to go to the bank and wire them the funds. Trusting all will be well and the product will show up in due time and be of acceptable quality. Dang, this one has been hard! It will be a big relief when they show up. I fear I may need some more laundry days when they do though. How many loads will it take to wash 96 pair of sweat pants?

I helped Kathy get the empty cardboard boxes off the front porch and into her car. She took them to recycling this morning. I will have one more big load of cardboard for her to haul off when I get the backpacks and toiletry kits out of the boxes they came in and when the sweat pants come in. I am waiting to take the toiletry kits and backpacks out of the smaller boxes ntil we work with them as they are easier to lift in the smaller boxes than they will be in the big totes.

I took a nap this afternoon. I got two sleeps last night but still felt sleepy today. I was up from 4:00 – 6:30 am this morning. Managed to get two more hours of sleep after that but it never feels the same when it comes in two patches instead of straight through.

With the pants coming in at less than $8 a pair and the hoodies for a little over $4 each, I have the price of a Go Bag under $35 if I have to purchased everything. Somehow that feels a lot cheaper than $50 each which is what I had first guesstimated. Then with all the donated goods that are here and are coming, the price will be even less. I think I have enough I could order the makings of another 100 Go Bags if we go through the first 100 quickly. Not sure what we will do after that but I don’t need to know the answer to that right now. So far, this project has come through with every idea that has come up and we have always had enough funds when they were needed.

A week from Saturday I am going to go to a meeting in El Dorado and pick up a collection of socks. The lady coordinating it said they had a lot of socks. Another group from Newton is doing sweatshirts and leggings – they are shipping them to themselves and are going to wash them up for me before we meet up to hand them off. How sweet is that? Yet another lady is coordinating another drive of some sort, I haven’t heard an update from her.

I am having a phone conversation with a lady that understands all the rules and regulations for nonprofits on Monday. Once I have that conversation and get some of my questions answered, I will be making some changes for the donors. I will also start writing some grant proposals. I need to understand all the ramifications of what a grant does to our fundraising needs and how that changes things. I never anticipated having to raise $35,000 to cover 1,000 Go Bags. When I met with this lady before I ever became a nonprofit, she warned me this would happen.

I had misplaced my debit card sometime earlier this week or the end of last week. When I couldn’t sleep last night I got up and searched my purse and found it. Grateful it wasn’t lost – just misplaced. I was out and about Monday and had to charge the things I bought on my credit card I carry as a backup.

Tomorrow I need to find someone to cut my hair. It is about a week past needing one and I have to stop and get that done. Dang, I miss my guy that has cut my hair for the last ten years or so. Having to go in and trust a stranger and tell them what I want makes me cringe. Oh well, it is just hair. It grows and can be cut differently the next time if I don’t like it.

Friday I take both dogs to the Vet for their vaccines. Roxy was limping yesterday but it seemed better today for the most part. I will talk Kathy into coming with me as managing two big dogs is a handful – especially if there are lots of other dogs in the waiting room.

I need to write up the request form for the Go Bags so my guy can start working on it so it is ready to go the middle of November. The Go Bags can’t go anywhere unless people request them. Not sure how the website works and how I get notified but we will figure that out. Good things others know about these kinds of things.

Feeling relieved that I finally nailed down a supplier for the sweat pants. Finding stringless pants was much more of a challenge than I had expected it to be. I am very pleased with the price and will be a bit anxious until I actually see the product and know that the quality is acceptable. Everything I have ordered so far has been good so I need to let it go and trust!

I tried to watch TV for a bit yesterday and finally turned it off. The election ads are out in full force. Most of them are so full of outright lies and mistruths that they are hard to watch. My inner bullshit detector goes off when I hear a mistruth. Both sides are equally guilty although I think one side is more extreme than the other. My nervous system couldn’t take any more of them and I had to turn them off. Wonder if I can find some movies or something to watch for the next 30 days or so. Can’t take any more of those ads.

Grateful I didn’t have a bad reaction to my shots, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful I found a vendor for the sweat pants.

This has not been the easiest of days for me. Feel a bit scattered and ungrounded. I did manage to sleep some last night but still feel tired.

Went to Emporia a little after noon. I had some things I needed from Walmart and I was scheduled to get my flu and Covid vaccines at 2:00. I found what I needed and then headed over to get my shots. They were able to take me a bit early. The lady did a nice job injecting them. Wonder if I will have a reaction this time? I got the Moderna shot this time and in the past I have reacted to those. The Pfizer ones I never react to. I am free all day tomorrow in case I do.

I was going to stop and get a haircut but I needed to come home. Wasn’t feeling it for a haircut today.

I got some inner containers to help sort things in the big totes I am putting the Go Bag supplies in. Two of the new inner containers are short and the rest are tall – not sure how that happened.

Worked on sorting the stuff that goes in the totes a bit. Took the totes with the blankets in them to the front porch. If it gets cold, it won’t hurt the blankets at all. Haven’t figured out where to put the toiletry kits and back packs. Kinda want to keep them in the boxes they came in for a bit longer as they will be heavy if I put them in the totes. I am out of room in this house though.

Made labels for the totes and got most of them on the totes. Now I can find what I need easier. The inner containers work for a couple of the items but not sure they are big enough to hold the different sizes of other items. I am trying to limit how many totes I have but may need to make a tote for Medium T-Shirts and another one for XL T-Shirts.

Not sure why this hasn’t been an easy day. I am limiting what I expect out of myself today as a result. No use pushing when it isn’t needed. Trusting tomorrow will be a better day and I can get more things done.

Stopped at the post office to get the PO Box mail. Got five hundred stamps today and a nice check. People are so generous. 100 of the stamps came in an envelope from someone that didn’t identify themselves. They put my address as the return address. I won’t be able to send them a thank you note.

I need to clear some clutter out of the living room. I brought in some totes and haven’t found a place for them yet. The porch is getting cluttered now too. I need to help Kathy take a bunch of boxes to recycling and clean up part of the porch clutter. Two more weeks before we start putting things together. I can do this, I can do this…..

Still working on reorganizing the back room. Instead of organizing, what I really need to do is get rid of things. Maybe I need to get cranky and start throwing things away. For some reason, it is easier for me to throw things away when I am cranky. I’m not too far from being cranky so maybe I need to step over the line and go for it!

Nothing on the calendar until Friday when I take the dogs for their vaccines. Roxy was limping today. Dang, those critters are eating away at my budget. The older they get, the more they are falling apart – kinda like Kathy and I.

Hard days remind me to be more grateful for the easy ones.

Grateful I got my vaccines today, grateful I am finding ways to get things better organized, and I will be grateful when this day is done.

I found sleep last night and slept in this morning. I would be happy if I could do that every night.

I am working on cleaning up the back room. It feels cluttered to me. I’m sure part of it is because the front room is full of boxes and it is bothering me. The new totes are to be tomorrow and I can clean that up a bit.

Found the tote of clothes that had come in for the released detainees Go Bags. Figured out I can use the pants that came in with inner strings for the released detainees. Whew! That feels good they won’t be wasted. So grateful the mistake was caught when it was so we won’t get lots more of them.

I am in a throw away mood so it is a good time to clean up the back room. I have lived in this house for over two years and if I haven’t used something, I don’t need it. I will continue to go through everything and figure out what I can get rid of. I have lots of paper goods and need to figure out a way to store them better.

I am going to October to a meeting of the Democrats of Butler County to pick up a sock collection. I guess they were very successful and have lots of socks for me and they are expecting more to be brought to the meeting I am going to. I sure appreciate groups that help us out.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for my flu and Covid shots. I need a few groceries so will pick those up while I am there. I have nothing on my calendar for Tuesday in case I have a reaction. I didn’t last year so hoping that will hold for this year too. While I am at Walmart I need to look for something that will work as dividers for the totes. Some of the things like bras will all fit in one tote but I need to divide the two sizes.

I have some rearranging to do when the totes come in tomorrow. I ordered another 16 so should have enough to get everything in its place. Still waiting on hoodies and sweat pants so will need to save some totes for them. How many totes does it take for 100 hoodies? How many for 100 pair of sweat pants? I may need more totes yet!

I have felt a lot of restlessness today. It is one of those days that it has been hard to settle and I have no idea what is behind it. Giving it lots of room and space and stopping occasionally to tune in to see if there is a message of some sort in it. Sometimes there is and sometimes it passes without me knowing what it was.

Grateful I figured out a use for the inner string pants, grateful for all the sleep I got last night, and grateful for all the socks that have been collected.

Finally got sleep after 4:00 am this morning. Slept in a bit but not enough. I am tired this evening.

Took care of some odds and ends at home but it was mainly a do nothing type of day. I did manage to get my laundry done, folded and put away. That is my success of the day.

I went to Matfield Green this afternoon to see an artist that has a studio there. She does my favorite Flint Hills scenes and had some beautiful work. Matfield had several different artists that had open studios today.

My tummy started yelling at me so I came home after the first stop of the artist tour. I am glad I came home as I had to run to the bathroom for about an after I got home. Finally took something to slow things down. They worked but am feeling drained this evening.

A group from Newton is buying a bunch of things for the Go Bags. They are going to ship them to themselves, wash them and then bring them to me. How sweet is that? The generosity of people continues to amaze me daily.

But she discovered that the sweat pants I had placed on the Amazon gift registry has inner strings. I had asked the site if they had draw strings and they said no. What they didn’t say is they have inner strings and those are not allowed either. They don’t have much elastic in them as they depend on the inner strings to be pulled to hold them up.

I took a pair over to a friend of mine that used to do tailoring. We tried to figure out a way to remove the draw strings and put in a piece of elastic and sew it in place. Without knowing the size of the waist of the person that will be receiving the pants she didn’t think that would work. Dang it anyways.

I haven’t opened some of the other packages of them so will figure out a way to return them. Man, this can get frustrating. I trust one of the two vendors I found no strings sweat pants from that deal with institutions will work with me and I can figure out a way to order them from them. I may have to order way bigger quantities than I expected but I have funds if that is necessary – to a point anyways. Project for Monday!

Got a phone call this afternoon that was challenging. It is a family matter. Still sitting with it and trying to find some grace and compassion. The situation she called about is out of my hands and up to a company to decide what they are going to do. I will wait till the company makes a decision and go from there. I will accept whatever decision the company makes. Another frustration of the day though.

I was looking at the bulk order site. I had only ordered 24 women’s toiletry kits and I need 30. I decided to go ahead and get another case ordered. While I was on the site I found some backpacks that will work for the women on sale for half price so I ordered two cases of those too. We will need those sooner or later and might as well get them at that price. I need different colored backpacks anyways and this will help solve part of that problem.

This has been one of those days! I feel bad for making the wrong choice on sweat pants and grateful someone caught it. I guess you can hold two opposite views at the same time! I will figure out the return thing tomorrow and get that process started. Grateful it was discovered before I took them to the Center and attempted to have a go bag pass inspection.

Problems seem to come up and so do solutions, just not always on my time table. Another lesson in that today! Both frustrating situations are not something I can solve today. I will do some energy work and release both of them and let them go!

Starting to feel a bit boxed in due to the extra clutter in my house. I might try to move things around a bit and open some space back up. When my house is cluttered, I struggle to settle and quiet my mind. Surely I can last a couple more weeks though. I have a solution coming for that issue to – again not on my preferred timeline. Thinking there is a lesson from the Universe for me today. Guess I don’t have to like the lesson – just need to learn from it.

No plans for tomorrow. Monday I have to go to Emporia and get my flu and Covid vaccines. I have a few groceries to pick up while I am at Walmart. The rest of the week is empty space so should have time to handle the returns and continue to explore the institutional orders and find solutions for them.

A month today Nicole and I leave for our trip. I think I will pull out the travel itinerary and spend some time reading that. I need something positive to look forward to. Time seems to be flying by so it will be here before I know it. So grateful the Go Bags will be done and ready to start passing out when I get back.

Going to spend some time releasing bad vibes from today. Nothing happened that can’t be overcome. I just need to let go!

Grateful the lady caught my error in the sweat pants today, grateful I listened to my tummy and got home before it went crazy, and grateful I found some backpacks for half price.

Another night of hard to find sleep. I did get some but not enough. I did manage to take a chair nap this morning. The house felt cold so I dug out a heater, found a blanket and curled up on my chair. I managed to find some more sleep. Yay!

I went to Emporia to run errands. I stopped at the bank in Cottonwood Falls to deposit some donations for Love in Action. When I got to Emporia I parked and then dropped some thank you notes at the post office to mail. Walked on down the street to Bobby D’s and met Jason for lunch. We had a nice visit and lunch.

After lunch I went to the public library and sent a two page fax. I found a vendor for men’s sweat pants without draw strings but you have to fill out an application before they will accept you as a client. I may not have a big enough order for them to bother with me. We shall see what happens.

I had to get permission from the Detention Center to have the pants shipped directly to them as the vendor won’t deliver to a home address. The Captain graciously granted permission. Now I wait to hear from the vendor.

I headed to Cottonwood Falls. I stopped and got some ice and then came home. It was good to get those errands done.

Kathy and I brainstormed and I think have come up with a way to make each backpack more easily identifiable for the detention center. I had ordered assorted colors at the Center’s request but was shipped all the same color. I think if we put three strips of colored duct tape on them – two on the front and one on the back, it will make the bags easy to identify from a distance, will not catch on anything like the conveyor inspection belt at the airport, and can be removed easily when the Detainee gets the bag.

I need to call the Captain or the Sheriff and make sure I can put duct tape on the bag. They may have a policy prohibiting it. If they do, I will come up with plan B.

I have spent most of this week figuring out ways to get the cost of the Go Bags as low as possible. If the contract comes through for the sweat pants, I will get the cost of each bag down to $32 for the men and $34 for the women. I had originally projected $50 so am pleased with the “bargains” I have found. I would like to get them to the point where 3 cost $100 and I am almost there.

Right now I have bought in bulk for 100 bags but if I get storage space I can up that and save even more. I don’t have the space for more than 100 at a time right now. Should know soon if the storage space will be available and then I can order the next round of supplies.

Still working on the schedule for the work days. I want to make sure I have enough work for the volunteers to do so the drive to come will feel worth it. I hate when I volunteer somewhere and don’t feel it was a good use of my time. It is hard to predict how fast things can get done. Some people will be lightning speed and others will be turtle speed. All will be welcomed and appreciated. Just want to make sure I can keep them all busy, regardless how fast or slow they are.

Am working on washing up another 30 blankets today. I think I will save the last tote of them in case we need something to do for one the wash days. If the sweat pants come in, I won’t get all of the things washed up on the work days and won’t get to the rest of the blankets. But if they don’t, I might need more wash to do on a work day. Balancing all the in case situations is running through my head all the time. Trust people will offer grace if my plans don’t go as anticipated.

Good news is I have until the first of December to get this all done. I can always schedule more work days if the hoodies and pants come in on time and need washed up.

It is a perfectly beautiful fall day out today. The humidity and rain has finally broke and we have had cool temperatures and sunny skies all day. I’m not sure it reached 70 today. Feels and smells like fall today. My body was cold this morning as it is not used to these cooler temperatures.

Did some more digging about grant information. I need to find out the consequences of accepting grants and fully understand what that does to fund raising responsibilities before I get too far ahead of myself. I know there is some requirement about how much you can accept and then how much you have to raise in smaller donations. I really had never planned to be a permanent fund raiser but if the Go Bags go out as they might, it looks like I will spend more of my time raising funds somehow or another.

It is easy for me to get ahead of myself and step out and not fully investigate all the pros and cons. I am attempting to do my due diligence and not make more work for myself down the line.

Felt good to get some things taken care of today. I have a tendency to procrastinate and not get things done timely. I even managed to call the Vet today and schedule the dog’s vaccinations. I almost feel caught up. Now I need to make myself do some housecleaning or not!

Feeling like I finally climbed above neutral today for the first time in a bit. I’m not quite back in my peaceful valley but it is close. When i can step back and allow myself to take things one step at a time and allow myself grace I will be back in my valley.

Have felt like I had lots of loose ends lately and it does feel good to get some of them tied up. Maybe it will free some mental space for me. I am not as good as juggling lots of little details at the same time as I used to be.

Grateful for lunch with Jason today, grateful I am caught up with my thank you notes, and grateful for the sunshine today.

Rain, rain and more rain. Flood warnings up all around. Think I will stay in where it is dry. I did wimp out and turned the A/C back on. It was so humid and hot in the house without it. Kathy was struggling to breathe and both of us had trouble sleeping last night – I think because of the heat and humidity. I have felt cold this afternoon with the air on. Guess I am hard to please.

Have spent all day washing blankets. I got 120 of them as they came in a box of 24 and I needed 100. I can do 5 at a time in my washer. When I take them out of the dryer I have to use a slightly damp cloth to wipe out the dryer of the lint balls. I think I am about halfway done. Good time I have lots of time before they will be needed. Wonder what my water bill will be this month with 24 extra loads of laundry?

Have spent the rest of the day finding bulk suppliers for the last two big items which are the hoodies and sweat pants. I found one for the hoodies and ordered them. They are coming from China and with the war and fuel situation I pray the items I ordered will arrive. Shipping costs were high but even lots more if I had them come by air. Most of the bulk items I got were made in China and I am satisfied with the quality so took a chance on the hoodies.

I think I finally found a supplier of sweat pants for the men at a price of under $10 a pair. It is from a bulk suppliers that mainly sells to institutions but also will accept a nonprofit. I have to fill out an application to become a customer and if accepted can order sweat pants for about $9.00 a pair including shipping. I will get that filled out and returned to them and see what happens.

If that doesn’t work I found a supplier that only sells to prisons and I can check and see if the Detention Center will order them for me and I reimburse them.

Did some number crunching on the cost of the Go Bags and if Love in Action has to pay for everything in the bag I have the cost down to around $35 a bag. I am exploring grants to write and needed the exact cost of a bag. That cost gets offset with donations of goods.

Found a couple of grants that sound like Love in Action might be a match for them. I need to do some more investigating to understand the ramifications of accepting a grant and what that means to fundraising responsibilities. Since I am a 501(c)3 there are requirements I need to pay attention to. I really didn’t think we would ever get big enough to need grants. However, if the Go Bags go out at the rate of over 100 a month, I think we might need some grants to help offset the cost. My donors are incredibly generous but with the way the economy is, I don’t want them to hurt themselves by giving too much.

I got a very generous check in the mail today from a new donor. She wrote the nicest letter with it. She mentioned she liked how we treat the employees at the Detention Center as well as the Detainees with dignity and respect. Her check funded the hoodie order with funds left over. People are so incredibly generous.

Went to the bank and deposited a check. I need to make another trip and deposit two more that I got today. I will wait till the rain stops though. Went to the post office to check my new PO Box for Love in Action and found two checks waiting for me. That made the trip to the post office fun! I also stopped and dropped off a check for my water bill.

It has been a quiet day at home for the most part. It feels good to have the laundry to do as it feels like I am getting something done. I went down the rabbit hole of sweat pants providers for a long time. Most of the sweat pants are sold with draw strings and I can’t use those or pull the strings out and call it good. I persisted and hope I found a supplier.

When it stops raining I need to help Kathy take two car fulls of cardboard to the recycling bins. I don’t think it will all fit in Kathy’s car alone. I still have nine more boxes in the living room that might have to sit for a bit. I did order some more totes so maybe when those come in I can get rid of the boxes. Not sure where I will put the totes though. Good news is I hope to have a storage place lined up soon and can move things out of the house.

My plan is to only keep the full Go Bags at the house and keep all the bits and pieces at the storage place. The place also has a nice work area for future work days. If we get to use it, we will transfer things to it on our work days. The volunteers will pick up the laundry things here, wash them up and then we will take them to the new storage space. Hoping we can assemble the bags in the new space. That will make it much easier. I will find out the 16th if it is a go.

I haven’t seen it rain for several days in a row for a long time. We got lucky and didn’t get 11 inches like they did in western KS. Most of the time the rain came straight down. This afternoon it is blowing a bit and going a bit sideways. Grateful I don’t have to get out in it.

No plans for tomorrow. I may run down to Matfield Green Saturday. They are having an event I would like to go to. I always think it is a good idea to go until it is time to go and then most of the time I change my mind and stay home. We shall see what happens this time.

Next week is full of empty space. I am getting my Covid and flu shots on Monday. Have lots of time to recover if I have a reaction. Last year I didn’t have one so hoping that will be the case this year too.

This has been a mental busy day for me. Working on the plans for each of the work days in addition to searching for cheap sweat pants. I need a written plan for each of the work days as a starting point. I’m sure after each work day I will adjust the following work days tasks of things to do. It is hard to know how long it will take people to sort 100 pair of T-shirts into sizes and cut off tags. How long will it take to open 75 toiletry bags and remove three things and add several things? We shall see what happens! Good news is I have lots of time until December 1, even with being gone for 16 days of that time.

Grateful for several generous donations today, grateful for the A/C and how quickly it removed the humidity from the house, and grateful I am almost halfway done washing blankets.

Got some sleep last night. I woke up a couple of times but was able to go back to sleep. Still feel like I could use more sleep but that usually happens when I sleep more than normal. Maybe tonight I can sleep again and not wake up feeling tired tomorrow morning.

Had a wonderful Zoom conversation with an immigration attorney. She is going to edit the conversation and then it will be posted to the Love in Action Facebook page. It lasted an hour but worth the time to watch it when it is posted. She showed a book of the immigration law that is 2,500 pages thick and has been added to since. Geez, do you think we could make it more complicated?

I learned a lot during the conversation. One thing I knew but realized even more, is just how complicated immigration law is. Add to that the various interpretations of the law and current policy. We seriously need immigration reform in this country.

The items I ordered in bulk came in today. My tiny house feels a bit crowded. I got some of the things put into totes but I still have 14 boxes of things I am going to leave in boxes for now. The boxes got wet so may change my mind as I don’t like the smell of wet cardboard.

I am impressed with the quality of the items. They were much cheaper than what I can buy anywhere else and I was a bit afraid that the quality would reflect that. I don’t think it does.

I thought I had ordered the backpacks in various colors but got all the same color. The Sheriff had asked me to do various colors so they could find them in the property closet easier. I may have to get some stickers or do something creative to help him find them. I could tie bows on them or something like that to help them out. Anyone have an idea how to make a bag stand out that could then be removed from the bag when it is no longer needed?

Trying to figure out how many of the things we can do in one wash day. I have three wash days scheduled and I know we can’t do all of them in three days. How many washers do you need to wash 150 pair of socks? How many for 150 pair of underwear? Oh the things I am thinking about these days.

I think I can do a sock, underwear and bra day, I might throw in some T-shirts for each load. When I googled it, they recommended not doing just socks as they can escape into the abyss. No wonder my head is full these days! The things I am learning. Then again I have never needed to wash 150 pairs of socks at one time.

Another day would be to do the rest of the T-shirts. They recommend 20 – 25 T-shirts per load if that is all you do. We could match and fold socks while waiting for the T-shirts to wash and dry. Oh my, how much fun will it be to match 150 pairs of socks. What have I gotten myself into?

I still have blankets, leggings, sweat shirts, hoodies and sweat pants to do. Oh my. Thinking I will get the blankets washed up early myself as I know it is going to take lots of loads to do 100 blankets. On one of the wash days, the volunteers could fold blankets while we wait on the washers and dryers.

I found a bulk place I can order 110 hoodies with no strings for a little under $5 each. I don’t think I can beat that price. I’m trying to decide if I can trust the quality. I am feeling a bit better about that after seeing what I got today. Most of the items I got today were from China. They won’t arrive until the first part of November as they will be shipped from China. I will have time when I get home from my trip to get them washed up before we start passing out bags December 1. They will be easy to add to the bags or I could have another couple of work days to help get them washed and added to the bags.

Still haven’t found a cheap place for men’s sweat pants without strings. The cheapest I have found is just under $10 a pair. Someone is doing a collection of them. I will wait and see what they come up with. I may need to act soon though, as shipping can take a long time as I found with the hoodies.

If absolutely necessary, we can give them a bag without pants or a hoodies but I sure would prefer giving them a change of clothes. Good thing I started this early so we can work through these issues.

Need to order some more totes. I have 16 but that isn’t enough to put everything in them. I am thinking 8 more will do but we shall see. Sure wish I knew how fast we would go through the bags so I knew how big to build my supply. My intuition is telling me it will take a couple months for the first 100 and then the next 100 will go quickly. That may be a good thing so we can ease into this project a bit. I have the funds to order the next 100 which covers everything except the hoodies and pants and a few of the little things we are adding.

Trying to think of a place I can hide 14 boxes until our work day. Five of them are blankets so will work on getting those washed up. I have them in my living room right now and I know myself well enough to know they will drive me to drink if I don’t get them moved sooner rather than later. And I don’t drink! And I’m not sure where to move them to.

Got the month-end report posted. Always feels good to get that done. It is way too long but that is how I roll I guess. Lots going on.

I am grateful I have lots of empty space ahead of me. I filled the last two weeks in October with work days. I best give some time to my upcoming trip and decide what I will be wearing and if I need to get somethings for the trip. I leave the first part of November and that will be here before I know it.

Rain, rain, rain. It has rained off and on all day with lots more rain coming. We are in a tornado watch for the evening. So far we haven’t had any wind and the rain has been gentle and mostly light. Good day for a nap – wish I had thought of that sooner. Too late to nap now.

Reality kinda slapped me in the face today with the huge delivery. Things will get all sorted out. I need to remind myself to take one step at a time and it will all come together. So grateful I listened to my intuition and ordered the bulk things when I did so I have time to get them all ready. It would have been hard to schedule lots of work days the end of November and even in December with the holidays coming.

Grateful for my friend that did the Zoom lesson today, grateful the bulk items are here, and grateful I have time to figure things out.

It was not a good night to find sleep last night. Not sure I got even one hour of sleep. I have been in a bit of a daze all day. Just laid down for a bit but didn’t find sleep yet. Maybe later I will crash and sleep around the clock.

I made a post asking for some help with the Go Bags and filling the Halloween Treat bags for the Detainee’s October treat. I already have two to four volunteers for each day. Betting it will all fill up before it gets here.

I gave more thought to the washing day. Discovered the Cottonwood Falls laundromat only has four regular sized washers and two big ones. When you have to wash up 100 t-shirts, 100 pairs of pants, 100 hoodies or sweat shirts, 100 blankets, 100 pair of underwear, 100 pairs of socks, etc. I realized I would need several wash days to get it all done. Still not sure I need to wash everything but this way I will have help folding and sorting if nothing else. I added two more wash days just in case. I may need to wash some things at home too.

I got the first of the 15 boxes that are coming from the bulk supplier. I got the ladies underwear today. They look like they are an acceptable quality. Trusting the remainder of the items will be too.

Had a kind offer today of some work space and storage space. If it all works out this will solve my storage issue. I may have a room where I can leave the supplies all the time in a secure room plus a big area right next to it for work days. I should know in the next week or so if it is a go. If it is, all I will need to store at home is the completed Go Bags. I can go get more as needed and store the next round of supplies at this place. Another answer to a request I sent out to the Universe.

I will need to figure out a way to get all the stuff to that location and I will have to transport boxes of stuff to the new space as they arrive but that can be managed. I have a feeling 100 backpacks are going to take up lots more space than I have.

Found some sugar free treats to order for the Halloween gift bags. It usually costs more for the dozen sugar-free treat bags than it does for the normal ones. Grateful I found what I needed.

Found a supplier of hoodies with no strings for only $3.58 each. Shipping makes them closer to $5.25 each but that is still way cheaper than I can find anywhere else. Sitting on it for a bit before I decide to order them. Shipping time takes a bit so need to make a decision soon if I want them here for our packing the Go Bags work day.

Still need to find a bulk supplier of pants for the men. I found some leggings for the women that are reasonable. For some reason, sweat pants for men are hard to find for under $10 a pair. They can’t have draw strings and that makes them even harder to find. I will keep looking.

Sure wish I had a crystal ball and knew for sure how many Go Bags will be requested. I keep listening to my inner intuition as that is the only thing that I have to go off of right now. So far, it hasn’t led me astray.

I think I have the month-end report ready to go. I got some more donations and had to add the expense of the sugar free treats to it. It always feels like a big project off my plate when I can publish it.

Didn’t feel the best today as I was going on no sleep. Sure wish I could figure out this sleep thing. It kicks my ass occasionally when I have a night of no sleep. It will take me a day or two to recover IF I get sleep tonight.

Didn’t attempt much else today. I did get two loads of laundry washed but haven’t gotten them folded and put away yet. I stayed in today for the safety of all around me. It was a hard day!

Tomorrow I am to have a Zoom call with an immigration attorney. We will talk about the current status of immigration and how the law is being interpreted. When we are done we will post it on the Love in Action Facebook page. I am not sure how that is done but trusting the attorney will know how to do that. There are so many myths and untruths out there about immigrants that I am hoping this will make things a bit clearer about the reality of being an immigrant these days.

No plans for the rest of the week or weekend. There is an event I might go to on Saturday if I can make myself leave the house. We are to get rain for the next two days and lots of it. Rainy days make me want to stay home and curl up and read a book. My inner level of beingness needs some quiet time at home right now.

Grateful for the volunteers that are signing up for the work days, grateful the month-end report is ready to publish, and grateful for the sleep I will get tonight.

I went to Emporia late morning to pick up my CPAP supplies and get some bird seed for Kathy from Walmart. My tummy was a bit upset again this morning so had to time the trip carefully!

I went by the bank in Cottonwood Falls to cash a check and then came home and went to the bathroom. After a bit I headed to town. I stopped at a gas station to use the bathroom. While there the CPAP supply place called to confirm my order. They were pulling the things ahead of time. I appreciated that. They had forgotten one thing but by the time I got to the store to pick them up, they had added it and all I had to do was sign the form and I was done.

Went to Walmart. I got a front row parking spot. That should have been my first clue that something was amiss. I got to the south doors and they were totally blocked off. I had to walk to the north doors to get in.

I needed to use the restroom but decided to wait till I got to the animal feed section and use the back ones (the ones closest to the south doors). When I got back there, the bathrooms were closed and the bird seed was not to be found.

I tracked down an employee and asked them where the bird seed was. It was still up by the garden center by the north doors (of course). I walked across the store again, used the restroom, and then found the bird seed.

I checked out and waked to the south doors where my car was. While I was loading my car, a car pulled into the handicapped parking space not far from my car. I walked up to the car and tapped on the window. A sweet older lady rolled her window down and I informed her she might want to drive over to the north doors so she didn’t have to walk so far. She said “What the hell”. I told her that was what I said too. We laughed, she thanked me and then pulled out to drive to the north end.

I finished loading up my car and came home. Man, going to Walmart got my steps in for the day. I will be glad when their remodel is complete.

Haven’t done much this afternoon. My Zoom meeting got pushed back to Wednesday so that freed up my afternoon. I did get a check, a VENMO and a PayPal donation for Love in Action today. I also got the final payout from the birthday giving fund from PayPal. Now I can reconcile August to September and will be ready to post the month-end report. I already requested a payout from VENMO for the month so this VENMO donation will show up in the October report. I can change the totals for the month-end report and add the check and PayPal donation so those can be reported as received in September.

Kathy and I are both tired today. Not sure what is up with that. Neither one of us had much energy today. I have had a bit of a headache all day along with tummy issues. My tummy has seemed to have quieted down but the headache is still there.

I looked at the weather forecast and we are to get rain the next four days. Best enjoy the sunshine we have had this afternoon while it lasts. I sure like these cooler temperatures.

Have worked on drinking lots today so I don’t get dehydrated. Not sure why I have days like this but am finally learning how to deal with them. The gastrointestinal doctor didn’t find any cause for them, only medications to treat the symptoms when they appear. I am more aggressive with using Imodium and the anti-nausea meds than I used to be. It does help stop them quicker but sure doesn’t fix whatever is broke.

No plans for the rest of the week other than the Zoom meeting on Wednesday. It is nice to have some breathing space. The supplies from the bulk order for the Go Bags should start coming in Wednesday so that will keep me busy for a bit getting all those supplies sorted and tucked away. When I get the 100 Go Bags I will get a better idea of how much space I am going to need.

Can’t find much information on a news story I read on Sunday which stated ICE is no longer going after those with just a deportation order and is going to focus on those that have a criminal record. I trust that it is true but know it is just a ploy that they will use until the election is over the first part of November. If the election does not go blue, the raids and foolishness will return.

If the election goes blue, I am hoping that the need for Go Bags will not be as great as if the results go red. My intuition told me to only do 100 and wait and see what happens. Hoping that is a sign we will go blue and the number of deportations will drop significantly and the Go Bags will not be as needed.

It is so hard to get a real read on what is happening in the Middle East right now. Not sure why it is so hard but it sure seems to be. I have some on-line people that I listen to that seem to know more than the major newspapers and TV stations. It is not as good over there as is being reported by the White House.

My trip with Nicole is in just a little over a month away. I need to check my clothes and see if I need anything. It will be in the 50’s there so need cooler weather clothes. I only take a carry on so need to choose carefully what I take. Hoping I can wear shoes that match this time, unlike my last trip to India and Nepal when I had a matching pair to what I was wearing back home.

That in-between feeling is strong today. Not sure what I am in-between but it can cause some anxiety and restlessness in me. Sitting with what is and attempting to soothe the inner child that seems upset. In this moment, all is well. That is all I need to be concerned about.

Grateful my tummy has quieted down, grateful for the steps I got in at Walmart today, and grateful for some breathing space this afternoon.

This has been a short day. I finally slept the clock around last night. Kathy came in to check on me to make sure I was still breathing around noon. Man, it feels different when I sleep all night!

I worked on the month-end report for Love in Action this afternoon. I write it a couple days early and then reread, re-edit, etc. a couple times before it is ready to post the first of the month. Sure wish I could learn to be less wordy but there is a lot that happens each month and I never know what to leave out.

I will balance the month-end books on the 30th and double check that the numbers I reported were correct. I have some funds from PayPal that I am not sure how they will handle. I did a birthday post and PayPal pays out the funds over time. I expect the second half of the payout yet this month. There record keeping and tracking on that event is a bit hard to follow.

I wrote six thank you notes and put them in the mailbox. I thought I was done but found a couple more when I was working on the month-end report that I need to write. I’m sure I miss some along the way. Sure wish VENMO would give me mailing addresses too so those that give that way can be better acknowledged. I have never posted names of donors on the Love in Action facebook page. I’m sure some wouldn’t mind seeing their name but know others wouldn’t appreciate it. It would be a burden to contact everyone and see what their preference is so I don’t list any.

Tomorrow morning I need to go to Emporia and get some new CPAP supplies. I need to do a better job of replacing the plastic part of my face mask monthly. It gets stretched out and then leaks all night and I take off my mask as a result. I am eligible for a partial replacement of the mask monthly but forget to do so. Tomorrow is my six-month point of having the CPAP so will get a full new face mask, tubing, a new water tank and some filters.

I have a Zoom meeting tomorrow afternoon with an immigration attorney so we can talk current policies on immigration and post to the Love in Action Facebook page. There are so many people that think that the undocumented have done nothing to fix their status. They don’t understand how the laws and policies have changed making it a real challenge to fix their status, in fact, in most cases impossible.

The rest of the week is full of empty space right now. We shall see if that holds through the week. Most weeks something or other comes up and I am always grateful I have the space to deal with what comes up.

Ants have returned to our house. They had pretty much disappeared but with the recent rain have come back. They are NOT a welcome guest in my house. Kathy had gotten a pizza today and when she went back to get another piece, the box was full of ants. YUCK! I did one spray and will do another one tonight.

Still sitting with the totes and trying to figure out the best way to organize them. The bulk order is to be in this week so that will let me know how much space I will need. I’m sure this will all sort itself out soon enough. It is nice not to have four boxes of stuff in the dining room. Not sure the tote rack and totes is a fashionable use of my dining room but it is what it is.

Only three months till Christmas. Oh my. I suppose I should give some time and attention to it. I will be gone for 16 days in November so November will feel like a short month. I think I know what I want to do this year. Just need to get a list going and get it done. Years ago when the kids were little, I would take a weeks vacation the end of October and do all my shopping then. I don’t buy near as many gifts these days so it doesn’t take a week to get it all done.

This week I hope to work on exploring grant opportunities, exploring some bulk providers for some of the goods needed for the Go Bags, and figuring out some dates and times to do the work parties to put the go bags together. We shall see how successful I am with any or all of those things.

Grateful for lots of sleep at last, grateful the month-end report writing has begun, and grateful for lots of empty space this week.

Phil came over this morning and put together the rack that holds 12 totes. I will store the Go Bags in them. Not sure they will be big enough to hold everything but it is a start. I will probably change my mind and try six different options before this is over.

It was interesting to watch Phil put the thing together. I realized just before he came over I had put two pieces on wrong. He helped me fix that and then took over. I find picture only instructions to be a bit of a challenge. However, it can be done!

They fit in the space I wanted them to fit in. I had to take somethings off the wall behind them and need to figure where to put them. This house does not have lots of empty wall space.

While Phil was here he tightened up the bathroom faucets. One of them was really loose and I was afraid I would be able to turn water on and then not be able to turn it off one day soon. Nice to have that little job taken care of too.

After Phil left I sorted things and put them in the totes. I haven’t labeled them yet as I still need to think through what I am doing. For now, men and women’s underwear are in the same tote for example. When I get the big bulk order in the next couple of weeks, I will be able to determine better how to sort things. Still not sure what I will do with 100 filled backpacks but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Not sure how much space that will take up.

It is obvious I don’t think things all the way through sometimes. In fact, I will admit I rarely do. If I did, I’m not sure I would tackle some of these bigger projects due to fear. When you don’t know what you don’t know it is easier to proceed – right?

Went to Emporia this afternoon and picked up some groceries. I didn’t do anything else while I was there. I didn’t need a lot of things but what I did need I was out of so it was urgent to get them.

Fell asleep in my chair this afternoon and took a good nap. I haven’t had a chair nap in a while. For some reason, chair naps hit differently than taking a nap in the bed.

I drove home from Emporia in the rain this afternoon. It has finally cleared off and it is a beautiful day out now. We have lots of rain in the forecast for this week so better enjoy the sun while it shines.

I still need to clean up the tools and extra parts from the tote rack building episode this morning. They sent parts so you can attach the rack to a wall. My floor leans a lot in the area where we put the racks. Phil had to put some shims to make the rack somewhat level front to back. I don’t think there is a chance of it falling over as it tips to the back up against the wall anyways. I have four extra totes that I need to find a place to put. I will use them as extra storage when all the pieces of supplies come in. Not sure where but I will figure it out. May be motivation to reorganize the back room and get rid of somethings out there. I’ve been at this house for over two years now, if I haven’t used it by now, I probably won’t and it can go.

Maybe I will get motivated and do some cleaning again. There are a few places that are starting to bug me which is my reminder to get after it. I also need to replace two light bulbs that I keep forgetting to take care of.

I have a meeting on Monday afternoon and I need to go to Emporia and pick up some CPAP supplies. The rest of the week is filled with empty space. Somehow my empty space seems to get filled up but I am grateful I am available if a need comes up.

Feeling a bit blah this evening. I need to connect with my tribe and get some soul food. Maybe I can make that happen next week. When I go too long without some deep conversation, I get detached but not in a good way.

Grateful the tote rack is together thanks to Phil, grateful the bathtub faucet got fixed, and grateful for a chair nap.

Just got home from the EHS football game. I left after halftime. My granddaughter Ellexia is a cheerleader so I went to watch her cheer. The track was wet so they couldn’t do any stunts tonight. It was nice to sit with Michelle and visit with her while I was there.

Before I went to the football game I went to the farewell bash for retiring Captain Jay. Two of the people I work with at the Center through Love in Action were responsible for the party. They did a great job. I didn’t know too many people there but was able to talk to a few of the staff from the Center. Jay will be missed. It was obvious his staff appreciated him.

Didn’t do much at home today. I didn’t feel my best today. I wasn’t really ill but wasn’t 100% either. I sat in the in-between space most of the day. I took good care of myself and am feeling better tonight.

I did double check all the goods that have arrived from Amazon via the Released Detainee Gift Registry. I found I am missing two packages of women’s leggings and the package of note pads. The note pads I could track and for some reason they have gotten delayed in shipment. Interestingly, both of the orders for the leggings show no tracking available. I sent a message to one of the people that ordered them and asked her to check on them. Not sure why there was no tracking information available. The other three packages of leggings had come in.

I think my handyman is coming over tomorrow to put the rack together that will hold the 12 totes full of supplies. The rack is partially put together and is in the middle of my living room. It is hard to get out the front door right now. The totes themselves came in today and I left them on the front porch as I don’t have any room to put them. Hopefully that mess will get sorted out tomorrow and I can place items in the totes which will be in the rack.

I got notification that the bulk order has shipped. I was surprised that they are shipping individual boxes – I think I have 15 boxes coming. It will be interesting to see if they show up all at once or if they come one by one. Once those are here I can start scheduling the parties to help sort everything and get the backpacks ready to go.

If it isn’t raining tomorrow I have somewhere to go in the afternoon. I’m not going if it is raining. I do need to buy some groceries so will do that rain or shine. No plans for Sunday and Monday morning I have to go to Emporia and get some CPAP supplies. I have a Zoom meeting Monday afternoon. The rest of the week is empty space.

I scheduled my flu and Covid shots for October 5. Sometimes I have a reaction to the Covid shot for a day or so. Last year I didn’t. Kathy had hers earlier in September and had no reaction.

Time to start working on the month end report for Love in Action. This month has flown by again. It was a busy one for Love in Action and it will take me a bit to write the report. We raised lots of money but I spent a lot too with the big order for the bulk items for the Go bags.

As I was driving home this evening I got to enjoy the full harvest moon. There was a rainbow all around the edges of the moon. I am grateful I got to enjoy the sight of the full moon. Since I moved to town, I don’t follow the cycle of the moon as closely as I did when I could see it easier. It did my heart good tonight to spend some time with her.

Did some research today and confirmed that hiring an undocumented person is considered a more explicit violation of the US Criminal code than simply being undocumented. Wonder why we are picking up the undocumented and not going after the business owners? If we really wanted to go after the criminals, we would go after the business owners.

Sitting with a feeling that ICE will be in our neck of the woods next week. I trust I am wrong. I can’t imagine what families are feeling right now. I wish others realized the obstacles that have been placed in front of our immigrants and how challenging and long the process is to get documented. I am tired of reading the comments that said they should have done things the right way. Heavens knows, most of them have but our government has made it impossible for them to complete the process now. Court dates are years out and even thought they are in the process, they are being taken and deported, most without a criminal record.

This has been a hard week watching what happened in western Kansas. I can’t imagine the disruption that it has caused and will continue to cause. I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that the immigrants are being treated so badly. All because they have a different skin tone? I trust things will correct themselves, sooner rather than later.

Grateful to see Ellexia cheer tonight, grateful to be a part of celebrating the Captain’s retirement, and grateful to be feeling better this evening.

This has been a two trip to Emporia type of day. The first trip was to take Roxy to the Vet to have her stitches removed. The Vet Tech had to lay on the floor as Roxy refused to lay down. We hope she got all the stitches out of the two incisions on Roxy’s tummy. Roxy did well, was given a few treats and made the ride home with no issue. She was happy to jump out of the car when we got home.

The second trip was to go pick up a prescription and to go to The Orchard to get some Jonathan apples. They are the only apples I like and they are not available year round. I will enjoy them while they last. I also picked up a jug of honey and a small apple slush. I couldn’t drink all the slush but Kathy was happy to finish it for me when I got home.

I got deliveries four different times today of things others had purchased off the Amazon Gift Registry as well as things I had ordered. I am attempting to put together a large tote stand. It is going to take a bit to get it done. I will keep working on it in bits and pieces and I will get there. The lids to the totes arrived but the totes themselves are to come tomorrow.

I had ordered some Apple Air Tags and those came in. I want one for my suitcase for my trip in November. I also want to put one in Kathy’s car so I can find her if needed. Not sure what I will do with the other two. Maybe I need to put one on my iPhone somehow so I can find the damn thing. I spend more time looking for it than I do using it.

I agreed yesterday to pay for 170 $10 phone cards for the Detainees as their Christmas present. That works out to $1,700. I also agreed to purchase cheesecake for their Thanksgiving desert. I got home and looked at my balance sheet and realized I had committed all the extra funds Love in Action has on hand right now.

This morning I woke up and found four donors had sent via VENMO or PayPal almost $1,400. One donor had send $1,000. The Universe does provide! I take that as a sign to continue doing what I am doing and to step out in faith knowing the money will show up. I still have extra stamps to send to the Center when they request them. We are down to five Pen Pals so are not using so many emails we have to pay for. The October treats are paid for so think I will slide by for a bit with what we have on hand now. If the Go Bags go quickly in December, I will need $2,010 to order another 100 of them and most of the supplies we put in them. That feels doable as people are so generous and send funds as they can.

I need to do one more count of all the items that were ordered off of the Amazon Gift Registry for the Go Bags. I think most everything has arrived. It is hard to track as some tell me who the package is from and some do not. I want to make sure everything is here so I can notify all the donors the things they ordered arrived. I wish I had email or mailing addresses for all the donors that purchase things off of the gift registry. I am lucky to get a “real” name as some people protect their privacy and order under fake names. I want the donors to know they are appreciated and I can’t do that without information about them.

The one thing we still need for the first 100 Go Bags is more hoodies and sweat shirts, sweat pants and leggings. The bulk place doesn’t stock those. We can pass out bags without them if needed. They will still get a T-shirt, underwear, socks and the ladies will get a sports bra.

Tomorrow I am going to the reception for Jay Whitney. He has been the Captain of the Chase County Detention Center and is the one that allowed Love in Action to be possible. He is leaving it in good hands with Captain Denna Fleshman taking his place. I took Jay out for lunch in August to thank him for all he did for Love in Action and look forward to seeing him one last time tomorrow.

After the reception I am going to Emporia to go to the high school football game if it isn’t raining. Ellexia is cheering and I like to go watch her a few games a year. I don’t attempt to go to all of them. I don’t like driving after dark but sometimes a Grandma has to do what she has to do!

Once I get the tote rack and totes I can sort what we have received so far. I am still waiting on the bulk order to come in with the backpacks, blankets, toiletries, etc. Once that comes in I can schedule the first of several helper parties. The first helper party will be to take all the goods out of the plastic they are wrapped in. The next party will be to wash and dry and make sure all the goods are sorted appropriately by sizes. The last party will be putting the items in the backpacks.

I am hoping everything arrives in the next two weeks so I can get the parties scheduled for the last two weeks of October. I want to have them done before I leave on vacation in November. The week after I get home is Thanksgiving and people will be busy and less likely to come help. We start distribution of the Go Bags the first of December.

If this program is successful, we may have to have three parties a month from now on to help unwrap, wash and sort and then stuff the bags. There is a possibility of needing at least 100 bags a month. If we need more than that, I will have to up the supply of goods to 150 or 200 items at a time. We shall see what happens.

Wonder when ICE will show up in Emporia? I am betting it is next week unless the dogs are called off. I am a notary so if any family needs to make power of attorney decisions so children are taken care of in case a parent or both parents disappear, please reach out to me. I can help draw up the documents and notarize them for you.

I still can’t wrap my head around the why things are happening. We have made it almost impossible for immigrants to become citizens and follow the “law of the land”. There is the written law and then there is the policy. Current policy is to disregard the written law and deport as many as humanely possible in the shortest amount of time. ICE has removed the names of those with a pending deportation order from their rosters of where they are being held so attorneys can’t find them and advocate for them.

I don’t feel like my personal rights will be honored if something should happen and I get picked up. There doesn’t seem to be much priority given to the letter of the law these days.

It breaks my heart to see the comments from privileged white people cheering on what ICE is doing. I guess you can only see what you can see. I just can’t quite comprehend how they can witness what is happening and think it is OK.

Grateful for all the goods sent via the registry, grateful for the donations that show me what I am doing is the right thing to do, and grateful I stand on the side of love.

I got woke up by a text this morning at 7:00. That is way too early to text me people! I stayed in bed after I finished the business the text required but not sure I got more rest.

I went to the post office and checked the mailbox for Love in Action. Only junk mail in it. Did another errand and came back home.

This afternoon I met with the Captain and two other staff members at the Detention Center. I needed to pay our share of the piece of exercise equipment that is long overdue. The piece of equipment has shipped but I am not going to hold my breath as to when it will be here. I’m sure after it arrives, it will take them some time to get it together. They are going to host a ribbon cutting ceremony for it once it is here and all set up.

While there we also talked about the Go Bag project. I was given a list of things that I cannot put in the bags and some ideas of things that I can. We talked about how the checking in of the bags for the Detainee will work and what information they need to make that go faster. Found out that those held by the US Marshall, even if they are ICE Detainees, will not be eligible to receive a bag. I will have to check with the Center every time I get a request for a bag, to make sure the person requesting a Go Bag is not being held by the US Marshall Service. I also have to double check to make sure the family didn’t deliver a bag already for them. They won’t be allowed to take a bag from their family and a Go Bag from Love in Action.

Got some good news from them. I have attempted to offer the Detainees a phone card since I started the program. The Center has figured out a way to make that happen. For our Christmas treat, Love in Action is going to gift each Detainee a $10 phone card so they can call their family. For Christmas. The Center is averaging 170 Detainees right now so this little project will cost $1,700. I think I just broke my budget. We will figure out a way to make this happen, somehow, someway!

We are providing a small bag of candy as our treat for Halloween and a piece of cheesecake for the Thanksgiving dinner that the Center provides. Neither of those are too expensive. I will have to come up with something not too expensive for January but I will worry about that later.

Found out that it had taken the Captain over three hours to find out where the documents were for the transport I did last week. She did put a new procedure in place so that the Department of Homeland Security will notify the Center where the documents are being held at the time of the Detainee’s release. We shall see if that actually happens. I appreciate the Captain’s effort to attempt to put that into place.

I heard from Helen, the transport from last week. She had her hearing in Maryland and unfortunately all the court did was continue her case. Because no decision was reached the court did not return her work permit to her. She will have another hearing in November in Maryland. She won’t be able to work between now and then. Dang, they make it hard for our neighbors and friends to support themselves.

Took a short nap this afternoon. I have felt really tired this week for some reason. Grateful I can rest when my body needs it.

Tomorrow I am taking Roxy to the Vet at 10:00 so her stitches can be removed. I have a few errands to do in Emporia but I will have to make two trips to town to do them as I can’t do them with Roxy with me.

Friday I have a reception and dinner to go to and then I am going to the football game in Emporia to watch Ellexia cheer. Saturday I have an event to go to in the afternoon. Monday I am doing a Zoom chat with someone in the afternoon. After that the week is full of empty space – at least right now. My empty space has a way of filling up in the most unexpected ways lately.

I made the mistake of reading the comments from people about the ICE raids that are happening in western KS this week. It is sad to see the number of people cheering on ICE. I wonder if they will connect the dots when their meat prices are higher when the processing plants don’t have the labor to make their products or when farms go bankrupt due to lack of labor.

I agree with picking up criminals. Unfortunately, from what I have learned, the majority of people they are picking up are in violation of paperwork dates due to the backlog of our immigration court system. Most have done everything possible to follow the law of the land but our government keeps changing the rules and doesn’t give them timely court dates. It is hard to be “legal” when the rules keep changing and dates are not available.

I bet it will only be a matter of time before ICE is in Emporia and picks up people there. It breaks my heart to see families torn apart. The poverty levels will increase as the main wage earner of the family is disappeared. Children will be left behind without a parent or possibly both parents.

I never dreamed I would live through a time like this. We are reliving the Holocaust all over again. When this is over, I want to say I stood on the side of love.

Grateful for the partnership with the Center as we work together to help the Detainees, grateful we get to gift the Detainees a phone card, and grateful to stand on the side of love in these trying times.

I got laundry wash, dried, folded and put away today. I think that is my only accomplishment of the day! Just one of those days. I don’t have a lot going on to do. I really need to explore grants for Love in Action but that didn’t happen today. I have to be in the right mood for that and today wasn’t it.

Got three more boxes from Amazon that others ordered for the Go Bags. I think I have a system lined out now to track what comes in and what was ordered so I can ensure all that items ordered get here. Split shipments really throw me off though. Sometimes I get a tag telling me who it is from and other times I don’t. Will do the best I can with the information I get to make sure all is accounted for.

Need to go to Emporia tomorrow and pick up another prescription that is ready. I missed getting this one yesterday by about two hours. Dang it anyways. Will attempt to pick up a few groceries while I am there. Sometimes I can make myself do that sometimes I can’t. We shall see what happens tomorrow.

Thursday I take Roxy in to get her stitches out. She has healed up nicely from her two incisions and it should be an easy visit. I do want to remember to ask for a written copy of the biopsy results so I know for sure what type of cancer she has. The vet told me but I have no idea what she said. Those terms are not normally part of my vocabulary so I didn’t remember them.

Friday I am going to the reception for the Captain of the Detention Center who is retiring this week. He is the one that allowed Love in Action to be a guest in his house and do what we do. After the reception I am going to the high school football game to watch Ellexia cheer. Saturday I have an event to go to in the afternoon for a short bit.

Still feeling like I am sitting in the in-between space. Still not sure what I am in-between but thinking it is more world energy than my own. Things are speeding up and happening fast in the bigger world right now and I feel a huge shift coming. It will be a challenging time for many.

During times like that I do my best to stay grounded so I can be full and open to noticing my neighbors that may need a helping hand. The cuts the Big Beautiful Bill made are starting to make themselves known and the hurt they are and will continue to cause is big. May my heart remain open so I can be a guiding light to others.

Grateful for a cooler day and open windows, grateful to take another day of rest, and grateful for all the supplies that are arriving daily for the Go Bags.

I met Jason and Michelle at 627 for lunch today. Always a treat to spend time with my kids and I got two out of three today.

My tummy started acting up when I was done eating and I was off to the race to the bathroom for a bit. Dang, I hate when I am away from home and it does that.

I had planned on picking up a few things at Walmart when I stopped to get my prescription but all I ended up with was the prescription. The pharmacy is close to the bathroom and I didn’t trust that if I walked to where the things were I wanted I could get back to a bathroom fast enough. I was lucky to get home without stopping.

Took a nap when I got home. Am feeling a bit more settled now but am drained! I was lucky I had some of my medication with me and took it right away. It finally kicked in and things have stopped. Now to drink a boat load of fluids as I feel a bit dehydrated.

I’ll have to go back to town another day to get the groceries I needed. Oh well, I’m sure in another day or two I will think of other things I need too.

Haven’t done much else today. No energy at all this afternoon.

I’m sure that was all TMI. Sorry about that. I use this blog as my diary and it helps to have record of how often this happens so I can report accurately to my gastrointestinal doctor.

No plans for tomorrow or Wednesday. I do have some things for Love in Action I can work on – that is always the case! I need to start exploring grants and writing some letters to places that might be willing to help us with our Go Bags.

Things are starting to arrive that others have ordered off of Amazon. It is going to take a bit at some point to get all the packages opened and everything sorted. Right now I am stacking them in boxes still in the tight packaging so it stores as small as possible. I am struggling a bit to match what comes in with what was ordered so I can be sure we get everything. Some of the packages have gift tags so I know who sent them but some do not. Some of orders come all together and some are split into different shipments and arrival days. I will get a system down sooner or later.

Kathy handles our recycling and she is going to stay busy taking boxes and packing to the recycling place.

I think I am going to Costco to get a bulk tote holding rack and totes that fit. I have space for 12 totes and the rack in my dining room. That will give me space for most of the things. I plan on doing 100 at a time. When I get the big shipment from the bulk place I will have a better understanding of the space that this will take up. I do have offers of some places I can store things and I may have to use those spaces too.

It will take some volunteers a day to get everything opened and sorted and then washed up before we can stuff the backpacks. I will get a day on the books and see if anyone signs up to help. My house is small so can’t use lots of people at one time but it would give others a chance to participate in a “hands on” event. I will schedule another day to stuff the packs.

Nice to have a couple quiet days this week. I thought I was going to have some last week and then ended up doing the transport on two different days. I never know when my empty space days will get filled with unexpected things to take care of. Grateful I have empty space days and can be available for emergency needs.

Got 60 more stamps today for the Detainees. It is such a budget saver to have people donate stamps. I haven’t had to buy stamps since July. That saves several hundred dollars on my budget a month to not have to buy stamps.

I have been sending lots of thank you notes lately so may need to buy myself some stamps. I use my personal stamps to send thank you notes as I want every dollar and stamp that comes in to go to the detainees. Buying stamps for thank you notes is the least I can do for the program.

Sitting in what feels an in-between space today. Not sure what I am in between but there is a restlessness that I am feeling that isn’t allowing me to be in my peaceful valley. Something big feels like it is coming in and I have no idea what it is. The world chaos feels like it is getting ready for another plot twist of sorts. Maybe that is what I am feeling. I never am quite sure and I do my best to stay out of worry and fear and instead spend the time grounding myself and reminding myself all I can control is my response to whatever might happen.

Grateful for the donation of stamps, grateful for time with Jason and Michelle, and grateful things have slowed down a bit.

I went to bed early last night as we lost power. When the lights came back on 45 minutes later it woke me up. I got up and turned off all the lights and went back to bed. Luckily, I was able to go back to sleep.

Because I went to bed early, I woke up earlier than I like too. It feels like a long day when I get up before 8:00 or 9:00.

I wrote another long post for Love in Action about what I have learned from the Detainees and the process they have to go through these days. It has gotten lots of action, comments, shares. The good news is I have gotten several nice donations and lots more purchases off of the Amazon gift registry. People need to know the reality of the immigration system these days. It is not easy to navigate.

A lady that a friend knows called me this evening for some help. A relative of the lady had been picked up on a moving car violation and then detained. He had an outstanding deportation order against him. He is being held in Chase County. She needed help figuring out how to zoom call with him, deposit funds in the commissary, etc. I also let her know about taking him a Go Bag in case he gets deported. One never knows how fast that happens and he won’t have time to let them know when it is happening. He will just disappear.

It has been a quiet day at home. I did get my written thank you notes in the mailbox at least until the donations started coming in today. I have some email thank you notes I need to send. VENMO gives me email addresses of donors but not mailing addresses. PayPal gives me mailing addresses.

The guy that is updating the website got in touch with me today. He said it won’t be difficult to make changes so I sent him the changes I need. I will double check when he is done and see if I forgot to mention anything. I so appreciate his effort and donation of his time to do that for me.

No plans this week until Thursday. I do need to go to town tomorrow and pick up a prescription that is ready. I would also like to track down some Jonathan apples but I don’t know if anyone has them this year. I should have gone to The Orchard today but didn’t. I may try to go there later this week.

It was so nice today that the temperature dropped. It is very humid out but still better than it has been. It is supposed to be in the 70’s all week. I will take it! Can’t wait to open the windows and let fresh air in.

Grateful for all the donations that came in today. It gives me hope that this Go Bag project will be funded. I still need to look into grants and send some solicitation letters to local churches, etc. It is a bit overwhelming when I think how much I may need to raise but I will take it one step at a time and 100 bags at a time and go from there. So far, the funds have come in for everything I have requested them for.

These two quiet days have been good for my soul. I finally feel grounded again. Writing the article today was good for me too. Sometimes it helps to write things out. I seem to be able to release them better when I do.

Grateful for the response to the note I posted today, grateful for the cooler temperatures, and grateful for another quiet day at home.

This has been pretty much a recovery day for me. I didn’t sleep very well last night so it has been a low energy type of day.

Kathy and I made the mistake of going downtown around 4:00 to go to the Chase County Days event. It was too flipping hot to be out. My car said 102. I am so grateful there is a cold front coming in to break this heat wave. I am kinda over the heat for the year.

We are in a severe thunderstorm watch for the evening. Doesn’t feel like it is going to rain but these fall systems can move in quickly. Heavy wind and hail is the main threat tonight.

Got my house insurance bill. It is over $300 more than a year ago. I did add a 200 sq foot addition but $300 for that? I think it is time to shop around. Over $2,000 for a 1,200 sq ft house is kinda high, especially since I haven’t had any claims. How do people afford to own a house these days between the rising interest rates, insurance and rising property taxes. Yikes!

Got the first two boxes of things from Amazon people ordered off the Deported Detainee Support Gift Registry. I haven’t opened them yet. I need to decide what I am going to do with them and where to store them. Costco has a storage rack that will hold 12 totes. I am strongly considering ordering that. It would fit in my living room. I rarely have company so it really won’t be in the way. It won’t look nice but that is the least of my concerns.

I will sit with it for a bit and then decide if I want to get it or not. The other option is to store things off site. That has its pros and cons. Since I will be taking bags up one at a time, it sure would be more convenient to have everything here. Trying to imagine how much space 100 filled bags plus extras of everything will take. I don’t have good spatial judgment.

I need to come up with a tracking system of some sort so I know that what people ordered is what I am getting. I never knew for sure when people ordered things that were sent directly to the Center if they ever got them or not. I would feel more comfortable coming up with a system that I can double check to make sure all is well.

I spent some time balancing my Love in Action books today. We get funds from several different sources and sometimes it is a challenge to balance the books. PayPal pays out twice a month automatically except for the birthday fund and that is paid a month after they receive the funds, VENMO I have to request the funds, Zeffy sends funds automatically weekly, checks I deposit and record, Zella pays into my personal account which I then have to transfer. Yikes! No wonder it can take me some time to balance it all.

I feel so responsible handling other people’s money that I keep a very close eye on it to make sure the gift is handled properly. I also struggle to spend the money and ask myself constantly is this really necessary.

No plans for tomorrow although I have a prescription that is ready to be picked up. I also would like to go to the apple orchard and see if the Jonathan apples are ready. They are the only apples I really like and I like to get a bunch when they are in season.

So far next week I have lots of empty space until Thursday. I have to take Roxy to the Vet Thursday to get her stitches out. Friday I have a reception to go to and then a football game to go to watch Ellexia cheer. Saturday I have an event to pop in at for a bit in the afternoon. Trusting the empty space will hold. Sometimes it does, and sometimes not so much.

Someday soon I need to start exploring grants and do some serious fundraising. If the Go Bags are requested at the level of need, we will need 100 – 125 at least a month. They cost about $50 each to put together. That is a lot of money when you multiply that by 12 months. What had I gotten myself into?

Grateful for the air conditioning when I got home from downtown this afternoon, grateful for the friends I got to visit with briefly when we were downtown, and grateful today was a quiet day.

What a long day! I was in my car for over nine hours today. My ankles are swollen and protesting tonight.

I got a call at 8:45 from Captain Fleshman from the Detention Center letting me know the driver’s license for the lady I transported yesterday are at the office in KCMO. I immediately called the volunteer that said she would drive Helen’s car to that office and agreed to meet her at Helen’s hotel at 10:00.

I got there at 10:05 and Helen and the volunteer were waiting for me. We exchanged hugs and information about where we were headed. We agreed not to caravan and each stop independently as needed for the three hour trip to the office of the Department of Homeland Security which is located up by the airport in KCMO. Helen rode with the volunteer in her own car and I drove my car alone.

My tummy was not happy with me today so I had to make a couple of bathroom stops. I realized I was trying to balance holding the truth that how immigrants are being treated these days sucks and the truth that love is present and people can be very helpful as evidence by the help the Captain provided and the volunteer provided.

One can hold opposite points of view and find that sweet spot where one can hold themselves in balance with holding them. I struggled all the way to KCMO to find that sweet spot. My tummy did not like the struggle today!

We got to the office in KCMO around 1:30 and Helen was able to retrieve her driver’s license. The office is holding her social security card and her work permit. They said they would possibly be returned to her at her court hearing in Baltimore, Maryland next week.

I gave Helen some cash for her trip home. She is driving herself to Maryland this weekend. She lives alone and has had to pay rent and utilities for the time she was detained with no income coming in. She promised to let us know the outcome of her hearing next week.

We gave Helen lots of hugs and blessings and then the volunteer and I headed back to Wichita. We stopped for lunch and the volunteered paid for my lunch! She did me a hugh favor by helping me out today and still she paid for my lunch. Then we stopped for gas and she hopped out and paid for the tank of gas. Geez! What a blessing she was for me today.

We had a delightful conversation on the way home and the trip home went fast. I got home around 6:30 this evening. My ankles are not happy with me sitting for nine hours and are swollen and complaining. I told them to stand in line! I am a bit cranky and deeply grateful tonight.

Thankfully I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend. It is going to take me a day or two to decompress and allow myself to feel all the feels. There is an emotional component to doing the transfers that shows up after I get home. I have learned I will need some time and space to process all the feels and get back to my grounded center.

It may be an early bedtime for me tonight. I feel very empty and drained tonight. It was a roller coaster of emotions for me and I am feeling that tonight.

Grateful for the help from the Captain and the volunteer today, grateful for a safe trip of over nine hours today, and grateful for the peace and quiet of home tonight.

This day had another plot twist thrown in for kicks and giggles. Keeps me on my toes.

Kathy and I went to the gym this morning and met with the owner Jerod. He is so kind, a good listener and really came up with a program for each of us that feels doable. I find most trainers get set in their ways on what they want you to do and don’t listen. I told Jerod I get overwhelmed easily and want to start out slow and add on things as times goes on. He got that! He stuck with us and taught us what to do.

We plan on going daily to use the bike and then every other day we will add the resistance training. I think I can keep this up as Kathy will be going with me.

After we were done at the gym I decided to go to Wichita and get my Costco shopping done. We really needed a new vacuum so Kathy and I headed for Wichita. We were going to eat at Chipotle but they were closed due to the boil water order in Wichita.

We went to Costco and overfilled a cart. I found a vacuum and a whole cart load of shit I didn’t know I needed. After we checked out we ate at their lunch counter and then came home.

I had just gotten on the Turnpike when the Detention Center called and asked if I could transport someone to Wichita. Sure, but I have to get home and unload the car first and then I would come get her.

Her name is Helen and her birth country is Nigeria. Her family lives in Maryland and she works and lives in Larned, KS. Her car was in Wichita and she wanted to get her car so I drove her there.

Her problem is no one seems to know what ICE did with her driver’s license and other personal documents. They may be at the Wichita ICE office or at the KCMO office. I called the Captain of the Chase Center facility and she is going to help track them down.

Helen can’t drive without her driver’s license as if she did and got pulled over, she would immediately go back into detention and then they would have a reason to deport her.

She has my number and will call me if she needs help getting them tomorrow. I am attempting to find someone from Wichita to help her go to their office tomorrow if that is where her documents are. If they are in KC I am going to find someone to go with me to pick her up in Wichita, then they will drive her car to KCMO, and ride home with me. I will take Helen in my car to KCMO.

She has to be in Baltimore, Maryland, Monday, September 21 for a mandatory court hearing. If she misses it, an order for deportation will be placed against her. She can’t drive there until she gets her license and she can’t fly there without an ID.

We shall see what happens tomorrow. Hopefully her documents are in Wichita and she can retrieve them in the morning and get home to Larned tomorrow and then get to Maryland this weekend.

Dang, ICE makes this tough and sets people up to fail.

Not sure making two trips to Wichita was on my Bingo card today. She was a delightful young woman and much appreciated the drive and potential help tomorrow. Makes it all worth it!

Not much empty space time today! Maybe tomorrow if I don’t have to drive to Wichita and then to KCMO. We shall see what happens.

Picked up part of the Halloween candy for the Center today. They had it on sale. I think it was last year that it was hard to find closer to Halloween. I still need to get some Mexican candy and then I can fill the bags and be ready. Have six weeks until Halloween but the way time is flying by, I like to have things in the house way before I need them.

No plans for the weekend. Downtown Cottonwood Falls is having some sort of goings on Saturday so may walk down and check that out. Not much for crowds so doubt I stay long. We shall see.

Nothing on my calendar for next week other than going to the gym. I’m excited to start working out again and Kathy and I promised each other we would nag the other into going. Hoping with an accountability partner I will do better this time. It also helped that Jerod showed me what to do.

I’m tired tonight. I don’t normally drive over four hours in a day. Thankful I went to Wichita instead of KCMO for the second trip of the day. Trusting the documents will be in Wichita tomorrow and I won’t have to go to Wichita and then KCMO tomorrow. I will if needed though.

I feel like I am on a world tour without leaving KS. First the man from Afghanistan, then the young man from India, the father from Palestine, the young lady from China, the young man from Russia and now a beautiful woman from Nigeria. We are the world!

Grateful another detainee was released, grateful for the volunteers that will come forward and help me out tomorrow, and grateful for my first day back in the gym.

Another pajama day. I got up and got going this morning doing some things and forgot to get dressed. By the time I realized I still wasn’t dressed it was mid-afternoon and I have no plans to go anywhere and no plans for anyone to come over so why not stay in my pajamas. It will save laundry!

The Vet called today with the results of the mass she removed from Roxy almost a week ago. One of them was a fatty lump which we expected. The other one on one of her teats was cancer. The Vet had gotten it all out with good margins on most of it. There were a couple places where the margins were narrow.

The Vet didn’t recommend any treatments. I am to keep a close eye on her and if another sore develops I am to take her in sooner rather than later. She may need more surgery in the future if it comes back. Roxy turned 10 this year so no plans to do chemo if the cancer comes back.

She has recovered well from her surgery. She is moving fine and doing her normal things. We shall see what happens in the future. The Vet said it is a mildly aggressive cancer. We shall love on Roxy and see what her future holds.

Worked on some Love in Action stuff today. I have gotten several notifications that people are making purchases of the needed items for the Go Bags. I mailed the big order for the bulk items along with the check. I expect the items to arrive in about two weeks or so.

Next steps have been taken. Will continue to take baby steps everyday and trust that this project will be successful. I remind myself not to worry about what happens after the first 100 bags are filled. One step at a time….. the future will be what it is. So far my supporters have never let me down and the funding and supplies are always there when I need them.

One project I want to explore is writing some grants to help with funding the Go Bags. I know there is money out there, I just need to connect to it.

Kathy and I are going to meet the Trainer at the gym tomorrow morning at 9:00. I think taking Kathy three times a week to the gym will be good for both of us. I will be much more likely to go if I feel the need to take Kathy. My legs and arms have gotten weak and I need to build them back up again. I also need to either walk the treadmill or ride a bike every time I go in addition to doing some resistance work on my legs and arms.

I will probably go to Costco Friday. We need a new vacuum and I have a list of other things I need. I have no plans for the weekend but Costco is too busy to go on the weekends.

We had quite the storm last night. Lots of rain, lightning, and thunder. We still have standing water in our yard today so know we got at least 2 inches of rain. I welcome the rain.

In November Nicole and I are going to do a river cruise on the Danube. They have been in a severe drought and most of the cruises have turned into bus tours as the river is too low for the boats to go down. Trusting they are receiving some rain too! I would much prefer to sleep in the same bed for 10 days rather than ride a bus and have a new hotel to check into every day.

It has been delightful having another empty space day. I feel my body, soul and spirit linking back up again and being in the same place at the same time. I need lots of quiet time to allow that to happen.

Grateful for baby steps being taken for the Go Bag project, grateful for a compassionate vet, and grateful the get fit project begins tomorrow.

Kathy and I had a productive trip to Emporia today. On the way out of town, I stopped at the bank and deposited two checks. Then I went to the Post Office and opened a PO Box for Love in Action. It costs $112 a year to rent a box. I am going to have to put a reminder on my calendar so I go to the post office a couple times a week to check the box.

We went to Emporia. First stop was to take my car through the car wash. I had lots of bug splatters from the trip to KC last Friday.

Then I went to the medical supply store to pick up my six month allotment of supplies for my CPAP machine. I could get some of them but I had gotten the three month allotment on the 24th of the month and they couldn’t give me the next set of supplies until the 25th of this month. Geez! I decided to just wait and get everything at once so I get to go back next week and pick them up.

Then we went to the Verizon store. Kathy has an Android phone that keeps picking up a virus and all she gets when she does anything is ads. The nice man at the store removed all the virus and then he deleted most of the apps on the phone. All she can use her phone for now is to make and receive phone calls and to text. She has a tablet that she can get on-line and pay her bills and play her games. Her tablet doesn’t seem to pick up a virus like her phone does. The guy also blocked Kathy from being able to add apps so maybe her phone will stay virus free. She forgets she isn’t to add apps and this way she won’t be able to. Hope she doesn’t get frustrated trying to add one. We may need to go to Plan B if she does.

We then went to Walmart and got some groceries. We had a hard time finding what we want as they are still remodeling and everything is out of place. Kathy wanted something and we asked a couple different people. No one seemed too interested in helping her find what she wanted. Finally found an employee that understood what Kathy wanted and she took Kathy to where they should be but they were out of them.

I wanted a package of hot dogs so I can give Roxy her pills. All they had out was a package of 40. She won’t take that many pills! The lady that was working there said she had just pulled the others and taken them to the back. She didn’t offer to go get some for us.

The lady that helped Kathy find what she was looking for pointed out some smaller packages of hot dogs that were in a different location and I was able to get a package.

We came home after that. I got the groceries put away. I didn’t get a bunch of stuff today but at least have some basic things again.

I worked on the Love in Action Go Bag project this afternoon. I have had three offers of places to store the materials so decided to go ahead and get some things put on the Amazon gift registry as well as put together a bulk order for the items I am getting from a company. I haven’t pushed the order button yet but I got a quote and am going to sit on it for a day and then probably proceed.

I ordered some items in bulk that we will probably get from some drives that people are going to be doing. But I have a feeling, we are going to need way more than 100 Go Bags once we start passing them out. Since I have space, I would like to get ahead on what we have on hand.

A dear friend of mine called me this morning. He works at an insurance company that has a matching gifts program of some sort. He and his wife are making a generous donation to Love in Action and he has requested the matching funds. He was notified that his gift qualified and he called today to let me know almost $2,000 will be coming my way, probably in November.

That gift felt like a sign to get things ordered. I wanted to have $5,000 on hand before I ordered anything as that is what it will cost if I end up having to buy all the materials directly and others don’t order from the gift registry. With this new gift that is coming, I will have $5,000 on hand.

I still may need to raise lots and lots more if the first 100 bags go quickly. It is hard to know what the response will be. I may also end up with 100 bags and no one requests them. It will all sort itself out in time and I have found through this project that the universe has a better sense of timing for all this to come together than I do.

I need to make a post and let the supporters of Love in Action know that I put a bunch of items on the Released Detainee Support Gift Registry. I need to change the name of the registry though as the people the Go Bags are going to are not released, they are being deported.

This little project just keeps on going. I wonder where it will be even six months from now. If the Go Bags are much requested, I will need to start looking for some big gifts and grants to help fund them.

Nothing on the calendar for the rest of the week. It was nice to get some errands run today and a few things crossed off my to-do list. I will need to go to Costco later this week and get a new vacuum and pick up a few things. I’ll see what the weather does and how things are going and pick a day and go.

I’m tired tonight. I had trouble falling asleep last night for some reason. I slept in a bit this morning but had trouble waking up when I got up. My energy level is rather low tonight. I feel like my body, mind and spirit are scattered and I need lots of quiet time so all of me gets in the same space at the same time.

Grateful for the errands I got done today, grateful for the gift that is coming for Love in Action, and grateful for the quiet days ahead for me.

Happy birthday to my oldest daughter Michelle. How has it been 46 years since you were born? Time goes by so fast. I love how you embrace life and stay true to who you are. So proud of you and so grateful you made me a grandmother of two.

Went to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment today. I got to Topeka early enough that I could have lunch before my appointment. Of course I went to Chipotle. It cost more than normal so I checked the receipt and they had charged me for cheese that I didn’t get. I pointed it out to them and they refunded it.

Went to my appointment which took 1 1/2 hours. Hadn’t planned on being there that long. Finally got done and headed home. I stopped at Walmart to get some groceries but there was no parking except by the gas station. It was 100 degrees today and I was getting cranky and decided I didn’t want to walk that far in the heat and deal with that many people inside. For the safety of others and myself, I came home instead. I will have to go to town soon and get some groceries as the bare essentials are running out.

When I got home I discovered Kathy was having trouble with the vacuum. Not sure why it isn’t working properly. It it already broken so if I tear it apart to see what is wrong I can’t break it more. When I am not so cranky I will attempt to see if I can find out what is wrong. If not, I will go to Costco later this week and get a new one. This one is only a little over two years old. Man, they don’t make things like they used to.

I finally have some breathing space as I don’t have anything on my calendar for the next ten days or so. I really need to get myself organized for the Go Bag project and this will give me the time and space to do so. I need lots of quiet space to make some decisions about the program and figure out a timeline. It will be easy once I sort through all the pros and cons in my head and then decide on a path forward. The good news is no matter what I decide it won’t be a wrong path. I am usually good at adjusting the path as needed once I set out. It is when I don’t make a choice and set out that I can run into problems.

Kathy and I have decided to start going to the gym again. I need an accountability partner and if I go so Kathy can go I think I will go more often. Kathy needs someone to help her with her routine there as she will forget it easily. Maybe together we can do a hard thing and get our asses to the gym three times a week.

I just looked at the early Emmy Red Carpet looks. I am out of touch as I don’t recognize most of the names of the people they are showing. I think I need to get out more – then again, maybe not. There are some people that are paid way too much in comparison to the valve they offer society and I consider actors in that group. Sports players are another group that is way over paid for the value they bring society.

Man it feels good to not have anything on my calendar but empty space for the next ten days. I’m sure some days will fill up with things but it feels like it has been a hot minute since I saw nothing but empty space on my calendar. My soul needs someone breathing space and I look forward to it.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka today, grateful for another chance to eat at Chipotle, and grateful for the empty space ahead.

This day didn’t go as planned but it turned out great. Michelle and Ellexia were going to come out and help Kathy and I eat the pan of lasagna I had purchased from a neighbor. She had made the lasagna as a fundraiser for a golf thing. I took it out of the freezer yesterday so it could thaw so I could bake it today.

Nicole and Geoff called around 9:30. They had been in Winfield at the Bluegrass Festival and were on their way home. They wanted to know if I wanted to join them for lunch on their way through Emporia.

Kathy, Michelle, Ellexia and I met them at Radius and had lunch together. I love when I get to see a couple of my family together. We had a delightful lunch. I stopped on the way home and filled the car with gas and then we came home.

I baked the lasagna this afternoon. I put out a text to my gang of friends and offered them some of it. Two of them took me up on the offer. One came by and picked hers up this afternoon and the other is coming tomorrow afternoon. We have enough lasagna left for another meal for Kathy and I. It was too good to have lots of leftovers that we couldn’t eat so I shared.

I also baked a pumpkin pie cake this afternoon. The cool and rain we had this morning made me think of fall and pumpkin. Pumpkin spice is one of Kathy’s favorite things and she has had a hard week and deserved a special treat. Those that got some lasagna also got some of that as Kathy and I can’t (or rather shouldn’t) eat a whole pan of pumpkin pie cake.

Haven’t done much else today. I am tired tonight as I did manage to find some sleep last night. The sharp lightening and loud thunder woke me up this morning. Am grateful for the rain we got. There is a chance we will get more rain this week.

Am sitting with the Go Bag project and trying to come up with a master plan. Pieces of it are falling into place. Tuesday or Wednesday I hope to sit down and map out the plan. I am trying to time when I want things to come in and when we might be able to start packing bags. We will be running into the holidays shortly after I get home from my trip so wondering if I want to get it done before then. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Good thing is I don’t think there is a wrong decision – just different choices with different consequences.

Tomorrow I have to be in Topeka for a 12:30 doctor’s appointment. I will have lunch in Topeka. It will depend on what time I wake up and get going whether I eat before my appointment or after. Not sure how long the appointment will last but betting about an hour.

I need to stop and get a few groceries on my way back through Emporia. I was going to stop today but couldn’t make myself. With gas as expensive as it is getting, I really need to make myself do it tomorrow and save myself a trip to town later this week.

The rest of the week is empty space. I feel like I really could use that. I have lots of planning to do for the Go Bag project and need quiet space to do that in. Hoping to get the website updated some time soon also. I need to write out what changes I need made so the designer has those when he is ready for them.

A young man that graduated from high school in Chase County stepped forward last night and volunteered to do the website changes for me. He is the CEO of a nonprofit in Washington, DC and understands the world of nonprofits and technology. I am ever so grateful for him.

Two of his friends are friends of mine so I sent the two friends a quick note last night to check him out. Both gave him glowing reviews. I needed to send the password to my website to him and wanted to make sure he was who he said he was before I did that. Intuitively I knew I could trust him but needed to do my due diligence.

Still sitting with a family drama situation. It took another turn today. Not sure how things are going to get resolved. There is a person I can reach out to that might be helpful. It has gotten too big for me to handle alone. Dang, this stuff can be hard.

I have sensed another big energy shift in the world. Chaos seems to be building but also peace. Hard to find words to explain what I am feeling. I got the strong reminder to ground, stay true to who I am, stay focused on my inner work, and all will be well. I haven’t read much of the news this week as I felt like I had enough chaos swirling around me without adding that to it. All is well and all will be well. May it be so. Amen and Amen.

Grateful for time with Nicole, Michelle, Ellexia, Geoff and Kathy today, grateful for friends that helped me by taking some leftovers, and grateful all is well and will be well.

I had just gotten to sleep last night around midnight when Roxy barked and woke me up. We had tried to keep her inside all night so her incision would stay cleaner. She decided it was time to join Sophia outside. I got up and took her out but she wasn’t interested in a walk. She wanted to be put in the pen. I was tired and cranky and wasn’t going to argue with her. She is the most stubborn dog I have ever seen.

Struggle to go back to sleep after all that. Finally made it back to sleep around 4:00 and then woke up around 7:30 and couldn’t sleep any more. Not much sleep last night!

I am still in my pajamas if that tells you what type of day I have had. I forgot to get dressed this morning when I got up and just realized it when I got ready to write this. Too late in the day to change now and I have no plans to go anywhere.

My tummy has not played nice today. Haven’t felt my best all day. I think I needed a quiet day at home and one with no expectations on me. I’m sure by tomorrow all will be well.

Kathy got her Covid and flu shots today. We shall see how she is feeling tomorrow. I am always down for the count with the Covid shot from one of the brands but the other brand doesn’t bother me. Not sure which brand she got and what her experience will be. I am going to wait to get mine until mid October. I want the maximum protection for my trip early November.

Technology hasn’t played nice with me today either. A couple times I just had to walk away from it and try again another time. Wish I knew more sometimes but not bad enough to make myself learn it. Most times I can play around enough and finally figure out how to do something. The only problem is, I forget how I did it and can’t do it again without issues.

Need to do some work on the Go Bag project. I don’t feel too organized yet and need to get it together so I can share more details with others. It is hard for me to keep posts short enough people will read it. I tend to give too much information and people don’t read all the details. I do a lot of repetition via emails, comments and PM.

I posted today asking for a volunteer to help with the website. I got several phone calls, texts and emails from companies that do website design. Not sure how they saw the post as they are not members of Love in Action. For only $1,500 they would be happy to assist. Yikes! I would have been more impressed with them if they had taken the time to look at our existing website before they asked me for details about Love in Action. Some of them were very persistent with their requests.

One day soon I am sure someone will present themselves as a website designer and media expert and volunteer to make flyers, add the changes I need to the website, etc. People are asking me for media things I have no idea what they are or how to do them. They want specific formats and I have no idea what they are talking about.

Still trying to figure out when to post the needs for the Go Bags on the Detainee Support Gift Registry. I don’t want things showing up before the end of October and have a feeling if I list things now, they will come in too soon. We aren’t going live with the Go Bags until December 1. People are already wanting to organize parties to help fill the bags, etc. Guess I better get organized so I can book people in. I think we will need people to wash and sort things too.

I have one group lined up to do a sock drive. Another group want to do a drive but hasn’t decided on what item they want to collect.

Sure would be easier if I had an idea of how fast we will go through 100 Go Bags. I don’t want to overstock supplies if they aren’t used very much. I will continue to listen for inner intuition guidance and go from there.

Still sorting through the family drama too. A decision was reached today that at least gives me an idea of which way this is going. Not sure it will calm the drama down though. We may be getting a mediator involved to see if we can calm things down. Dang, this stuff can get hard.

All the drama is probably why my tummy is cranky today. I have been emotionally upset most of the week. I get myself calmed down and then another thing happens and off I go again. Have some work to do on myself to be able to stay calm in the midst of the storm around me. I do much better than I used to do so I will call that progress. Perfection is not required in this life!

Grateful for a pajama day, grateful I can put things down for the day and give myself a day of rest, and grateful for the interest in the Go Bag project and willingness of others to help out.

Kathy and I headed for her appointment at the Memory Care Clinic of KU at 10:20. We stopped at the Pome on the Range but was disappointed to find they are not open. I wonder if they will open this season? It didn’t look like they are going to.

We got to her appointment and got checked in. The nurse called us back before 12:30. She checked us in and then the doctor came in shortly after the nurse was done.

He is a strange dude but we had fun with him. I won’t share Kathy’s results as that is her story to tell. The funny parts were when he asked Kathy who the current president was. Her response was the turd and then was able to come up with Trump.

Found out the doctor is a Democrat so we had a fun discussion about that. I shared about Love in Action and he encouraged me to keep trying to change people’s hearts and minds and he would do the same.

At one point Kathy told the doctor that I repeated myself on the way up here. I told the doctor I passed my memory test at my physical and he said well you don’t have Alzheimer’s yet! He said it is hereditary. Geez thanks guy!

He made a few recommendations that he wants me to start doing for her. He is adjusting some of her medication. Overall, it was a good appointment. She will see his PA in six months and then the doctor again in a year.

We stopped at Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Emporia to pick up Roxy. The Vet Clinic was very busy so had a bit of a wait to get her. They didn’t charge me for the overnight stay. We got Roxy and her meds and came home.

When we got home Roxy was so anxious to get out of the car that she tried to crawl into the front seat to follow Kathy out of the car. She got stuck. We had to adjust the seats and help lift her up so she could get out of the car. I about peed my pants laughing at her.

Sophia was glad to see her mama. Roxy is to stay inside until her stitches come out in two weeks. Don’t think that will happen as Roxy does not always like to stay inside. We shall see how this goes.

Someone from a group contacted me about doing a sock drive at their meetings that are coming up. That will be a budget saver if they can come up with 100 pairs of socks. Hoping other groups will step forward for the T-shirts, underwear and sports bras. They could even do the sweat pants and hoodies if they can follow the no draw strings rule.

Am grateful I have the next two days at home. I am tired tonight. Traffic was heavy coming home. I told Kathy I was tired of seeing car asses. I didn’t have many clear stretches the whole way home. Grateful we had a safe trip to and from.

No plans for the weekend. I have some things I could work on for Love in Action but I need to put things down for a bit and give myself a break. I have to go to Topeka Monday for a doctor’s appointment and will pick up Love in Action again next Tuesday.

The rest of next week is empty space which I need. It has felt busy again to me and I do best when things are a bit slower. We have had some family drama going on this week that drained me. Hoping that all will settle down soon too.

Next week I need to get some things organized for the Go Bags. I have lots of ideas and feel a bit scattered. Need to make some decisions and firm up some proposals. It will all fall into place. I have over two months before I committed to passing out the bags. I will be gone for 16 days of that but I should have everything in place long before my trip.

The Doctor made our over hour long visit fun today. He had a sense of humor and played a bit with us. He was matter of fact and direct which I like. He had a solution for one of our problems which I also appreciated. We shall see how things shake out from here.

Grateful for a positive doctor appointment today, grateful for a sock drive that is being organized and grateful I get to stay home for two days.

I went to bed before 9:00 last night and actually fell asleep rather quickly. Unfortunately, I woke up at 1:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep. It has been a long day.

I took Roxy to the Vet this morning for her surgery. They called a little before noon and let me know all is well and that I could pick her up after 4:00 this afternoon.

Kathy and I drove in, paid the jaw dropping $600 bill, and then found out that Roxy wasn’t able to walk yet as she was still sleepy. They gave me the option of carrying my 93 pound dog or picking her up tomorrow.

We are going to KC in the morning for Kathy’s doctor’s appointment and won’t be home to watch Roxy during the day. I told them I couldn’t get her in the morning so they are going to let us pick her up on our way back through town late afternoon. We may have to skip Costco if the doctor’s appointment takes more than an hour or so. We shall see what happens.

Sophia, our other dog, has been a bit lost today without her mama here. She came in for a bit but wanted back outside.

We had quite the thunderstorm roll through during the night. The lightning and thunder was intense at times. Grateful for what rain we did get.

Got a big donation for Love in Action today as well as several others. It is so gratifying to see the support for the Go Bags and that we are getting donations from new donors. The big donation today came from a first time donor. We have gained almost 200 new members in our Love in Action Facebook group this week.

Got six thank you notes written and in the mail box today. I forgot to go down to the post office and open a PO Box though. I will do that next week.

After I dropped Roxy off at the Vet this morning, I met Jason for breakfast. He has some family drama going on too and it was nice to touch base with him. We both shared our issues. Somehow it helps to have someone else listen to my woes. It always seems to lighten the load.

When I got home from the trip to Emporia this morning I took a short nap. Didn’t get much sleep but it took the rough edge off my day. I am getting sleep deprived again.

Trying to figure out how much to share about the Go Bags on the Facebook page. People are so generous and want to help but sometimes their help is not what I can use and they struggle to accept no. I have many rules and restrictions I have to follow. I have never sat down and written them all out as I don’t think most people need to know or even care and probably wouldn’t read it anyways.

I also don’t want to get too aggressive in placing items on the wish list as I know they will get ordered shortly after I place them on the wish list and I don’t have a storage place ironed out for sure yet. We aren’t going to start distributing the Go Bags until the first of December and there is no use getting all the stuff here when we don’t need it for over two months. I need to make sure the funds are there to support the project first, and then I will take the next step.

After my doctor’s appointment next Monday in Topeka I will have lots of empty space and give the Go Bags project my full attention and get some next steps worked out. Hopefully by then my own family drama will be turned down to a low roar and I will get caught up on sleep and will be able to focus on the Go Bags.

Next week I need to get the website changes that I am going to make drafted out and have a conversation with my website designer. His family had their own drama and he has been a bit missing in action as a result. I may need to find a volunteer that can handle that part of this project for me. Any ideas on who I could ask?

Life sure is showing me these days to not get too fixed on anything as more than likely things will change. Certainly is not something the Universe offers us. Sometimes things change so quickly I feel a bit whip lashed as a result trying to keep up. Forecasting what may or may not happen is getting to be pointless though. Reminding myself to stay present to what is seems to be the best thing I can do for myself right now.

Grateful Roxy’s surgery went well, grateful I had the funds to pay the bill, and grateful for time with Jason today.

I met with the Sheriff and new Captain of the Detention Center this morning. We covered a lot of issues and it was a productive meeting.

I had some generic questions I asked and got answers for. We had a conversation about phone calls. They are going to explore allowing us to provide phone cards to the Detainees as our special monthly event at Christmas time and for those that are newly arrived to the Center.

We had a long discussion about the Go Bags. They have a storage issue at the Center and don’t think they can store 30 bags. But, we did come up with an alternative. The Detainees are told when they process in that if they get deported a family member can bring them a suitcase of up to 40 pounds of allowed goods. Some don’t have family that can provide that.

The Center will put the Love in Action contact information in the packet of information and the Detainees can pass it on to their family and they will contact us and ask us to provide a Go Bag for a departing detainee. That way the Center only has what will actually be used on hand.

We will put together a standard, basic bag of a toiletry kit appropriate for the sex of the detainee, a change of clothes including underwear and socks, a phone charger, a pencil and pad of paper, and a blanket, Families can send additional items or request additional items be added. We will put all this in a backpack.

We are going to gather supplies for 100 of them and go from there. I have no idea how many might be requested. I told the Center we would attempt to have them ready to go by the first of December. I am going to be gone for 16 days in November and won’t be able to take bags up to the Center during that time. That will also allow us time to gather the supplies and organize ourselves. Some of the items have to be standardized which means Love in Action has to bulk order them and supply them. Other things can be donated such as socks, charger cords, etc. If Love in Action bought everything, it will cost about $5,000 for the whole bag. Lots of fundraising to do!

Kathy and I gathered up the appreciation bags and delivered them to the Center this afternoon. The Sheriff’s department posted a nice thank you on their Facebook page. Good to have them out of the house and that project completed. I still need to organize my house again but didn’t get that done today.

I didn’t sleep last night. Had a bit of family drama last night and couldn’t sleep last night. Things are still a bit unsettled but a bit better today. I think a major change is in the works and not sure yet when it will happen. Life is a constant state of change so it is my reminder to myself to go with it however it turns out.

Tomorrow I have to get up early and have Roxy at the Vet no later than 8:30. I don’t like early mornings but hoping I crash fairly early tonight and can get up and going in the morning. I need to remember to go out and pick up the dog’s food bowl before I go to bed as Roxy can’t eat anything after 10:00 tonight.

Friday I am going to KC to take Kathy to the Memory Care Clinic at KU. We have a couple things to do while we are in town if we aren’t too fried after the appointment.

Thank heavens the weekend is empty space. Monday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. The rest of the week looks fairly quiet. I will need the time to organize the fundraiser and donation drives for Love in Action.

Have already received several donations from my generous supporters. I have lots of thank you notes I need to take care of yet this week. I am a bit behind on them.

I really felt the different timelines or living in different realities last night and today. We can’t hear each other even though words are being said. When someone is on a different timeline that happens. The best I can do is set my boundaries and then take care of myself. It is painful though and hard to see someone get caught in the middle of all of it.

Grateful to get the green light for the Go Bags in a modified version, grateful for all the cooperation the Center gives me, and grateful the donations have already started coming in.

Last night one of my Pen Pal Volunteers sent me a story about the Pen Pal she has been writing to for several months. I asked her if she could put what happened into a story and she sent it to me. She did an excellent job writing the story. I did remove the last name of the Pen Pal to protect her privacy and then posted the story on our Love in Action Facebook page.

It has been viewed over 1,000 times so far and I’m sure that number will continue to climb. This story involves a lady that can’t be deported back to her home country as it is too dangerous. She has been moved to Louisiana which means she is waiting for another country to accept her and then she will be deported to a country she has never been in before. She will leave behind an 8 year old son, a 20 year old daughter and her husband.

Stories like this take all my energy and leave me in deep despair for a bit. I just can’t quite wrap my head around what we are doing as a nation and why so many people support these actions.

She did mention in her story how important it was to this family that the lady was able to send home notes to her family and the drawings she had made. Without Love in Action that would not have been possible. However, it still seems insignificant in the bigger picture.

Sometimes I have something like this hit me in the face and I wonder what I am doing organizing Go Bags in light of all that the deportees face. Yet it is something so I keep doing it. One drop in the ocean feels not enough sometimes. Yet I know I can’t stop as something is better than nothing.

Went to the Vo-Tech to have my teeth cleaned. For a beginning second year student, she did a good job. I got there at 12:30 and didn’t get out until 3:00. My teeth were really bad again. I have an appointment to go back in December and hoping that one won’t take so long. I am a plaque overachiever! My mouth is smaller than normal and my teeth are crowded together. The student got a good workout today trying to remove all the plaque in tight spaces.

I didn’t sleep much last night which isn’t unusual after a night where I got lots of sleep. I sure could take a nap right now but will do my best to stay up and go to bed fairly early.

Tomorrow I have my meeting with the Staff at the Detention Center to see if the Go Bag project is a go. I have several other things to discuss with them too. Fingers crossed it is a go!

I got two books of stamps today in the mail. I always appreciate getting stamps as it is a huge budget saver.

Thursday Roxy has her surgery so I will probably make two trips to town to take her and then go get her. I guess there is a chance she will have to spend the night but we shall see.

Friday I take Kathy to the KU Memory Care Unit for her annual check-up. I am meeting someone to pick up a box of collected donations for Love in Action, and we will also make a Costco stop.

Thankfully the weekend is free and full of empty space. Monday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment.

I didn’t get the bags taken to the Center today. It was too hot to make eight trips to the car to load the car and then eight trips to unload it. It is to be a bit cooler tomorrow so will probably take them up tomorrow afternoon. It will be good to have space in my living room and dining room again after they are gone.

Still feeling a bit empty after reading the letter from last night. I give myself permission to allow all the feels and sometimes that can take a bit. Once I do that, I normally can refill myself fairly quickly. I don’t want to go into the meeting tomorrow not filled but that isn’t always something I can control.

Grateful my teeth are cleaned, grateful for the Pen Pal Volunteers, and grateful for the two books of stamps.

Wow! How did it get to be the 7th of September already? Time is flying by right now.

This has been a low energy day for me. I slept in this morning so it has been a short day for me. Not sure how it got to be evening time already though. Time does go by regardless of what one is doing or not doing.

I sure didn’t do much today. As usual when I finally get sleep, I feel more tired that day than if I hadn’t gotten much. Sure could take a nap but know that isn’t a good idea to do that this late in the day. Hopefully when I do go to bed tonight, I will get sleep again. One could get used to sleeping more than two hours a night.

Tomorrow morning I want to take the gift bags up to the Detention Center if I get up early enough. I have to leave for Emporia before noon for my dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech in the afternoon. I got some boxes out of the shed but I can’t really fit many gift bags in them so guess I will just carry them as they are. I can carry about ten at a time fairly easily. We put together 80 of them so that is 8 trips. I can do that.

Wednesday I have a meeting with the top dogs at the Center to have a discussion about the go bags. Not sure if I will get a definitive answer or not. Sure hoping so. If this project is a go, I would like to get started on it. We probably won’t start supplying them until I get home from my trip in November. But things might come in quicker than I anticipate and I can find someone to take bags up to them three times a week. We shall see how this plays out or even if we get to play.

Roxy has surgery on Thursday. I usually can bring her home the same day. We shall see if that is what happens this time. She licks her sore teat all the time. Not sure how we prevent that after surgery.

Friday I take Kathy to KC for her appointment at the KU Memory Care Unit. Not sure how long this appointment will last. I am betting they will do a short memory test on her to see her progression since last year. Last time I think we were there about an hour. Afterwards we will go to lunch and make a stop at Costco. We are also going to meet up with someone that has a box of things for Love in Action.

Thankfully, the weekend looks empty. The following Monday I have to go to Topeka for an appointment. Then maybe my out-of-town trips can come to a stop. It will be fourteen weeks in a row of at least one out-of-town trip if not two in the same week. That is more than I usually do in a year.

Not sure this has felt like a holiday weekend to me. Funny how when you are retired all the days feel about the same. Holidays don’t hold the same feelings as they did when I worked. September means the Christmas holidays aren’t far behind. Yuck!

Found some small paper bags that will hold the Halloween treats for the detainees and got them ordered. I can’t use plastic and they can’t have handles so they were a bit tricky to find some. It will make the job of the person that hands them out much easier if the treats are bagged and ready to go. One of these days when I go to Emporia, I need to go to the Mexican grocery stores and find the candy I am looking for. They will get a mix of Mexican candy and chocolate candies.

Need to talk to the staff tomorrow to determine what we want to do for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year for the detainees. I want to push the phone call thing for Christmas and possibly having a diner catered for Thanksgiving. We can always do pizza again but I would love to do more of a feast.

If the Go Bag project doesn’t get approved, I will have some quiet time for Love in Action for a bit. We have enough funds to do Christmas and Thanksgiving without raising more funds. Part of me needs that quiet time but I also would love to get started with the Go Bag project too. We shall see what happens.

Feeling a bit small today. There is some stuff going on that I am not sure how to handle. It will work itself out. No one has a crystal ball and can tell me how. My opinion wasn’t asked for so will use this as a chance to practice patience and self-control. I will have to live with the consequences of the situation but I will deal with that when it happens.

Grateful for a very quiet day at home, grateful I can allow myself to have a do-nothing type of day, and grateful for lots of sleep last night.

Sure doesn’t feel like a Sunday to me. I was surprised when I read the day of the week on my iPad just now. Not sure what day I think it should be, just hasn’t felt like a Sunday.

My gang showed up for me today and we had 80 gift bags stuffed and tied up in less than 30 minutes. Oh my! What a back saver that was for me. Afterwards we sat and visited for a bit and caught up on each other and what is going on. We are all getting to be of an age where these bodies of ours are slowly breaking down. Some have really been through the wringer lately.

Now I need to find some boxes and figure out how to get the bags to the Detention Center. I will find some boxes tomorrow and then take them up to the Center Tuesday morning. It is so nice to have that project almost completed.

Haven’t done much else today. I had to run to the store twice today as I forgot something the first time. I attempted taking a nap twice today and didn’t find much sleep either time. Felt good to rest for a bit though. My tummy is doing its naughty thing this evening. Haven’t taken anything for it yet but have a feeling I should.

No plans for tomorrow other than boxing up the bags. I have some housecleaning to do. It is starting to bother me a bit. I should have cleaned before the gang came over but I am long past the stage of being concerned what they think about my housecleaning skills.

Tuesday I will deliver the bags in the morning and then I have a dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech in the afternoon. It usually takes a couple hours for them to do their thing as it is a student program.

Wednesday I have the meeting with the Detention Center that I hopes gives me the green light to proceed with the Go Bag idea. If I get the green light, I doubt we will be ready for distribution until the first part of December. I will need to raise a bunch of money first and give others the opportunity to participate with donations of socks, underwear, etc. Have another possibility for a storage space offered to me today so will see where that goes.

Thursday Roxy has her surgery. She has been good about taking her pills. I stuff them into a good size piece of hot dog and she has taken them right down. Sophia always gets a little bite of hot dog too. I will probably have to make two trips to town that day. She has to be at the Vet no later than 8:30.

Friday I am taking Kathy to the memory care clinic of KU in KC. I am meeting up with someone to collect a box of things they have already collected for the Go Bag project. We will also make a stop at Costco.

Luckily, the weekend is free and empty at this point. The next week looks a lot quieter so far but if the Go Bags are a go it may fill up quick.

Sitting in gratitude for my tribe today. It was fun putting the bags together with all the help. They made a job that might have taken me all day get done in less than 30 minutes. I am so lucky to have these friends in my life and that they dropped whatever they had planned for today to come and show up with eager hands and hearts wide open.

Grateful for my friend’s help today, grateful the bags are all assembled, and grateful for a quiet day tomorrow.

I went to Emporia early afternoon to pick up some groceries and a prescription that was ready. I also picked up two prescriptions for Kathy. She has trouble remembering to pick them up.

I sent out an SOS to a group of my friends to see if anyone would be available to come help stuff the gift bags for the detention center staff. I think all of them are going to be able to come except maybe one. It would be hard to do my life without my friends!

I am working on writing a note and signing the appreciation cards that will go in each gift bag. I think I am close to being half done. I will keep working on them tonight and hopefully finish them up before the gang gets here to stuff the bags.

It shouldn’t take us too long to get them all done. Not sure where I will put them to do them. I have a long table in the shed I can bring in. I think between the dining room table and the long table they will all fit. I will have to find some boxes to put them in so I can get them to the Detention Center next week.

I had some stickers someone had made for the No Kings Rally in Topeka when Love in Action had an informational table. I put one on each of the outside of the bags. Love how those things are available when I need them.

I got some wine today and am going to make a corn dip for tomorrow so we have some munchies while we work. I will run to the Dollar General and get the last two ingredients I need to make the dip and get some corn chips.

It will be a relief to have the gift bags all ready to go. I so appreciate my tribe showing up for me.

I am anxious about the meeting at the Center on Wednesday where I hope to find out if the Go Bags are a go. I am making a list of other questions I have for the top dogs at the Center. Maybe I can get several things accomplished at this meeting.

A lady has a big box of something for me to pick up Friday while I am in KC. Not sure who she got it from other than she said someone(s) did a collection from a list she gave them. Trusting it will be something I can use for the Detainees. If the Go Bags project isn’t a go, I’m not sure where I will store this stuff.

Jason offered his basement if I can’t find another storage/work space. Not sure I want to do steps but at least I know I have a storage/work space if all else fails.

It will be an interesting week next week. Have something everyday on my calendar already. Have a list of other things that need to get done too, especially if the Go Bag project gets approved. I will enjoy Monday as it may be my last real quiet day for a bit.

Need to find someone to update the website. It will become very important if the Go Bag project gets approved. My neighbor boy got home today but I’m sure it will take the family a bit to recover as they have been gone for over a week with the sick girl.

Best get back to finishing up the appreciation notes. I am on a timeline now!

Grateful for my friend’s help tomorrow, grateful for all the possibilities that are coming my way, and grateful to get this gift project finished up.

I left for Topeka at 9:20 this morning. I had to stop and fill up with gas on my way. Gas is about $0.30 a gallon cheaper in Emporia than in Topeka.

Got to the doctor’s office at 10:45 for my 11:00 appointment. They called me back at 10:50. The nurse did her thing and it was only about a five minute wait for the NP to come in.

She did her thing and I was out of there by 11:20. Went to Chipotle for lunch because why not! Ate and then went to Emporia.

I stopped at Dunkin’ and picked up 16 dozen donuts. They had two employees carry them to my car for me while I paid. That was nice!

Stopped at the Detention Center when I got to Cottonwood Falls and it took four trips in to get all the Dunkin’ Donuts in plus the dozen that were low sugar and gluten-free. The lady at the dispatch window recognized me and asked if I needed Heather.

I left before Heather came out and I came home. I wasn’t home too long before I got a pen pal message from one of our pen pals thanking Love in Action for the donuts.

I was tired this afternoon. Kathy nor I found much sleep last night. I laid down three different times and finally got a short nap. Sleep is still in hiding around here.

Found a supplier on-line that sells backpacks, toiletry kits, and blankets for way cheaper than I expected I would be able to find. I have a meeting next Wednesday with the staff at the Center to see if the project is a go. If it is, I will send a request for a bid from the company and go from there. What I want they don’t sell in one package. I have to have the toiletry bags that are approved for air travel and they don’t sell those in a bundle with the other products. Not sure if I will have to buy things individually or if they can package them. Either way, it is way cheaper than I anticipated so it will be a win. Now to find out how much shipping charges are.

No plans for the holiday weekend. The rest of the items for the Staff’s appreciation bags came in so I can start working on those. I would like to take them up when I go for my meeting next Wednesday morning. I have a busy weekend ahead if I decide to push and get them all assembled by then. I am writing a handwritten note on an appreciation card and then have tissue paper to wrap the other goods in the bag and ribbon to tie it shut. That kinda thing is really not my strong suit but will see what happens.

I have something Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday next week so it will be a busy week for me. I’m not used to having something on my calendar every day. If the Go Bags are a go, things are really going to get busy for me.

Grateful the donut project is complete, grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, and grateful for three empty space days ahead of me.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go to the Dollar General to get some hot dogs so I can get Roxy to take her pills. They worked like a charm for her first pills today. We shall see if they continue to work.

I haven’t done much today. I am giving the Go Bag project some energy and thought. I think I will break what we need up and if churches, social groups, etc want to do a collection drive, they can pick one or two items and focus on those. A church could do a sock drive for example. I think that would simplify it and spread out what we collect in a way that won’t cause lots of one thing and nothing of another.

I am writing a letter to the Staff at the Center and requesting a face-to-face meeting with the top officials so we can figure this all out. They still may say no but I want them to do that to my face. They still may say yes too. I would like to get some time before we commit to having the first bags delivered. I will need at least 30 days to get everything set up and find a space for storage and to assemble the bags. It will take some time to find churches and social groups to help too. People from Love in Action are scattered throughout the state of Kansas and beyond. I may be taking more road trips to pick things up!

Tomorrow I have to be in Topeka late morning for a doctor’s appointment. I will stop and have lunch afterwards and then come back to Emporia, stop and pick up the donuts and deliver them to the Center. One more special event will be crossed off the list!

No plans for the holiday weekend. Have things scheduled for three different days next week so it will feel a bit busy for me. I do need to go buy groceries at some point this weekend. I will see when the mood hits to make another trip to town.

It has been a quiet week for me with little interaction with others. My soul needed this time-out. I haven’t done much and had little energy. I have not read much news as I needed to step away for a bit. Feeling a bit isolated but I needed that to let my mind get quiet again. My heart had felt heavy from all the chaos in the world and it was weighing me down. I am no good to any one, including myself, if I allow myself to get below neutral and stay there.

Grateful for hot dogs that make the medicine go down, grateful for quiet time at home, and grateful I finally feel like I have climbed above neutral again.

I took Roxy to the Vet today. She has a sore on one of her teats. She is going to have surgery a week from tomorrow. In the meantime, I have to give her a round of antibiotics and something to reduce inflammation. She also has a fatty tumor and they are going to take that off too.

Since she is an “older” girl, they are going to do a blood work up before surgery. The Vet doesn’t think it is breast cancer although that is a possibility.

Roxy did well getting in and out of the car and at the office. She really didn’t want to wait for me to check-out and pay. She was ready to leave right NOW.

Getting her to take pills is a problem. It took four tries for one of her pills today. I finally wrapped it in a bite of bread and tricked her into taking it. I will have to go get some hot dogs as those usually work.

Haven’t done much else today. Still waiting to hear from the Center about their decision about the Go Bags. I need to enjoy this quiet time as if I get the green light on the Go Bags things are going to get busy for me.

Tomorrow is an empty space day. Friday I go to Topeka and then deliver the donuts to the Center. No plans for the holiday weekend. Next Tuesday I have a dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech, Thursday is Roxy’s surgery and Friday I take Kathy to the Memory Clinic in KC. Best enjoy the quiet weekend as it is going to be a busy week.

Got one of the items I ordered for the gift bags for the Detention Center staff today. Still waiting on two more things to come in. I found some appreciation notes I ordered that should be in early next week. I can start getting those written out as soon as they get here. It will be good to get this project completed and my dining room table cheered off again.

Looking at some grants that I might apply for if I get the green light to proceed. Most of them require more goal setting and details that I have never crystallized for Love in Action before. I did some chatting on ChapGPT today and found it helpful in putting those words together. I will go back to it if I need to write a grant.

This heat is holding on. I feel bad for the students that are doing fall sports. Practice must be brutal.

Grateful Roxy is going to be taken care of, grateful for an empty space day tomorrow, and grateful for a quiet evening at home.

Another night where sleep was elusive. I gave up and got up around 6:30.

I went to town this morning. I needed 100 small plates for the donut event on Friday. I also needed a dozen donuts for the diabetics. I found four at Walmart and found eight more at Nature’s Paradise. They are different brands but I think they will work. I am grateful I have them in the house. I didn’t know if I could find them Friday and I didn’t want to cut it that close.

Came home and took a long nap. Finally feel a bit rested but not completely. I am grateful I get to take naps when I need them.

Haven’t done much else today. Got a couple thank you notes written and mailed.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are taking Roxy to the Vet. She has a sore on her tummy that is looking nasty. It has been there for a bit. It kept getting better and then would look nasty again. She has another lump on her tummy too. They checked one before and it is some sort of fatty tumor that is benign. Not sure what they can do for this one but we shall see.

If I don’t hear from the Center by Thursday about the Go Bag project, I will bug them. If we are going to do it, I would like to get started. I saw a grant opportunity that might apply and the deadline is September 15. Would be nice to get some extra funds if the project is a go. Many years ago I wrote a grant for a Girl Scout project and also one for the Emporia Public School Foundation. Both were successful so have some history with grant writing.

I sure don’t like this last blast of summer heat we are having. Doesn’t look like much relief in sight when I look at the ten-day forecast. With the wind we have had we are getting mighty dry.

I am starting to feel a bit isolated from my friends. I know a couple have some things going on but haven’t heard an update lately. I need to reach out and find out the news. I miss us meeting regularly but still don’t have it in me yet to organize it.

I keep feeling things are about to crack wide open and maybe not in an easy way. Not necessarily personal things, more on the world level. I kept hoping more would wake up and understand their own role in all of this and help tip things in a different way. I still think that has happened but the chaos is still overwhelming the world. We must still need some hard things to happen before people can wake up.

I also feel like I need to draw inward during this time. There is absolutely nothing I can do to help wake someone else up. I do need to make sure I stay centered and grounded and I do that best when I am somewhat isolated.

Somewhere in all this is balance and moderation. Neither of those have even come easy for me. Maybe this is another chance for that to happen.

Grateful I found the diabetic donuts, grateful I like being alone, and grateful life continues to teach me deep lessons.

Rough night for sleep. I was sleeping really good late morning when my brother came to bring me a check for the beef he got in early August. I got up and we had a nice visit.

I posted the month-end report for Love in Action. Have gotten two donations today for a total of $150. I appreciate the support.

Someone sent me a PM and said they had some donations to pick up and we need to figure out a way to get them to me. Not sure what to reply yet. I do not have room to start accepting donations for the Go Bags and I am not even sure we are going to do them. I don’t want to discourage the donation but am a bit cautious about accepting it too. I will sit with it tonight and then respond tomorrow.

I am tired tonight. I could easily fall asleep right now. It is too early though as I would be up at 4:00 in the morning. Maybe my writing will wake me up a bit and I can stay awake until bedtime.

A friend did a fundraiser and made pans of lasagna with a loaf of French bread. The lasagna is frozen so I can heat it up whenever I have a crowd for a meal. I drove out and picked it up this evening. Maybe we will have it for our next family day.

I remembered to call and make a Vet appointment for Roxy, She has a sore on her stomach that has been here for a bit. It gets worse and then it gets better. It has been going on for too long and I had kept forgetting to call for an appointment. I take her in Wednesday afternoon. The dogs spent most of the day inside as it was over 100 here today.

The return address labels I ordered came in. I need to take them up to the Center tomorrow along with some stamps. They put them on envelopes so the Detainees can write Love in Action a letter or send a card. I had given them 300 before and I certainly have not received 300 notes and letters but she said she was out of them. Sometimes I scratch my head and wonder what is going on but I honor her needs.

Didn’t get much done today. Low energy type of day for me. Nothing urgent on my pending list to do though. I still have a couple more places in the house I need to deep clean but dirt seems to wait for me. I’m not expecting company anytime soon so it will wait till I get to it.

Need to find someone that can update my website. My neighbor kid is going to be in KC probably until the end of the week and I would like to get it updated before then. Anyone know of anyone that can do that? I can send them the login information to the website but I have no idea what to do after that.

Still waiting on a couple things to come in before I can put together the appreciation bags for the Center staff. I do want to put a handwritten note in each of them and if I was smart I would start writing those out. It will take me a bit to get 80 of them written.

KU called Kathy today to schedule her an appointment at the Memory Clinic. It is for next week. I had thought next week would be the first week in 12 weeks that I didn’t have to go out of town but my streak will continue. The following week I have to go to Topeka. Unusual for me to go out of town for 14 straight weeks. We will probably make a day of it and have lunch, go to her appointment and then make a stop at Costco afterwards.

I go to Topeka on Friday this week for an appointment with the NP at my endocrinologist office. Now that it has been almost ten years since my cancer diagnosis I am wondering if they will cut back how often they need to see me. They prescribe my thyroid medication so am assuming I will still need to go annually. That will be better than every six months like I have been doing.

Have a bit of a headache and am exhausted this evening. Trusting I will be able to get some good sleep tonight. My body feels a bit out of whack but not sure why. We are coming out of eclipse season and I may not have fully recovered from that yet.

Grateful for a pan of lasagna in the freezer tonight, grateful to see my baby brother today, and grateful I can take a day of rest when my body asks me too.

This has been a quiet day at home. I slept in this morning so it has been a shorter day for me. Love when I get lots of sleep. It doesn’t happen often so appreciate it deeply when it does. I didn’t take a nap today so hoping I can go to bed at a more normal time and get back on schedule.

I cleaned my bedroom today. I’m afraid I disturbed a lot of dust bunnies that had settled in for a long summer’s nap. Dang the room was dusty and dirty. Nice to have a clean bookcase again. That has been on my to-do list for a bit. Grateful to cross it off the list.

Made contact with the person at the Center that distributes the treats I take in for the Detainees. She didn’t want to pour chocolate milk into cups so we are just doing donuts. I can pick them up on my way back into town after going to my doctor’s appointment Friday late morning. That will simplify my day. I called Dunkin’ and told them I would pick up the donuts between 1:00 and 2:00. That will give me time to stop for lunch in Topeka after my appointment and then get to Dunkin’ and pick them up. I will drop them off when I get back to Cottonwood Falls that afternoon and September treats will be taken care of. For some reason, she wants to plate them so I will need to pick up 100 small plates. She had 100 left over from her pizza. I also need to find 12 sugar free options. She sent me what she wants. Walmart in Emporia only has one package of them. I will have to check other stores in Emporia and possibly stop at Walmart in Topeka to find two more.

Nothing on my calendar until Friday so may have a quiet week. I would like to find someone that can update the website for Love in Action. My neighbor kid that does it is tied up in KC as his sister is sick and in the hospital. I have a feeling she will be there for a bit. They still haven’t been given a diagnosis and she is running fevers morning and evening.

I will read up on how to change text on the website and see if I can figure it out. I really don’t know what I am doing so don’t know if I will get brave enough to attempt it or not. Right now, I don’t have a clue where to even start.

Still in my peaceful valley of life tonight. Feels comforting to be back. Sometimes I get to stay for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for a month or more. I have yet to figure out what pulls me out nor how long I get to stay. I have learned to appreciate my time, regardless of how long it is

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful the bedroom is clean again, and grateful the dust bunnies were relocated.

Went to Emporia this morning. I needed a few groceries and a few more things for the gift bags I am fixing for the Staff at the Detention Center. I was going to go to Commercial St Diner for breakfast but there was a line and I decided not to wait.

Got what I needed at Walmart and came home. Put things away and then went out for lunch. Ate and then came home and took a nap. Sleep was hard to find again last night.

Worked on the list of things and sizes I will need of the things that I want to put in the Go Bags for the Deported Detainees if that project gets approved. I realized today that if every member of the Love in Action group would sponsor one Go Bag, we could provide 1,645 of them that easily. Many of the members have never donated so doubt it will be that easy but it did give me hope that fundraising will be the least of the issues.

Decided to only do two sizes for men and for women. I will do Medium and X-Large for both. A small person can wear medium and a large person can wear XL. It would simplify things for both the Center and for me. I will tie a light blue ribbon on the back pack that has Medium size clothes, and a dark blue ribbon on the XL for the men. I will do the same in pink for the ladies. Trying to stock all the items in four different sizes for both men and women seemed too complicated. I think I will do that for the transport Go Bags in the future too.

Still not sure this project is a go. I need to not get ahead of myself. Hoping I can find out this week if it is a go. They allow family members to send a bag of up to 40 pounds. Not sure why what we are doing would not be allowed but I don’t know all they have to do. Thinking if we can standardize the bags, logging them in would be easier for the staff.

If the project is a go, it will be a challenge to help people understand the limitations of what we can accept and put in the bags. I’m sure I will get lots of items that we won’t be able to use. That happened when I first started Love in Action and people were able to mail things to the Center. We had to stop that and go to the Amazon gift registry as the Center was getting way too many things they couldn’t accept. It becomes a problem to deal with those items. Some of the items were not even usable for anyone.

Several people have asked about second hand things. Not sure I want to open that door for the same reason. What someone thinks is nearly new I would consider trash sometimes. Then what do with all the donated things we can’t use becomes a problem.

Space to store things and space to stuff the bags will be one of the first problems I will need to solve. This house is not big enough for 100 backpacks and all the piles of things that will go in them. Have some ideas of where to go to ask for space if we get to that point.

Someone commented on the post I had made about the possibility of doing this project and asked how I knew the Detainees would actually receive the bags. I told her I trusted the staff at this Center but not sure about their next stop on their journey home. I told her it was kinda like checking your luggage on a flight. You have to step out and trust sometimes. I remember when I first started Love in Action I got that same concern. It took several months before we heard from someone on the inside that things were actually getting to them. It has been a lesson in trust all along.

Got two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away today. As usual when I get that done in one day I feel ridiculously proud of myself. Geez, that doesn’t seem like much but somedays I just can’t make myself do it.

I have a quiet week ahead of me next week. Friday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment and Friday is also donut day. I do need to nail down details of that day with the Center and with Dunkin’. I may change the day as I didn’t realize I had a doctor’s appointment in Topeka when I said I could make that day happen.

Had some tummy issues earlier today. I have been taking my meds more often since my doctor’s appointment last week. They do help but still not sure it is smart to train my body to need them. The Doctor told me not to suffer through it though. Haven’t had a poop day so haven’t used one of the prescriptions. Maybe taking the other one will make the poop days not happen?

Finally back in my peaceful valley. I had stepped out of it again and it is nice to be back in it. Something has shifted inside again this week. I never am sure what that is until something will come up and I will handle it differently than I would have in the past. If I stay conscious enough, I will be able to connect the dots. Feels like I have more space inside right now so must have released something. I no longer need a story about it and am grateful for the awareness I have – that is enough.

Grateful the laundry is completely done today, grateful I am one step closer to having the gift bags ready to assemble when the rest of the stuff I ordered comes in, and grateful for the peaceful valley I am in.

Last night’s lunar eclipse was amazing to watch. I went out many times to watch the moon change from full to looking like a pac man was eating it. It did turn red around 11:00. There was a beautiful moon bow around it for part of the time. I love events like this.

Didn’t sleep much last night. Woke up at 4:00 and finally gave up around 7:00. I did take two naps today but still do not feel rested, My tummy has felt a bit upset today.

Haven’t done much today. Got one more thing cleaned today and am going to call that my win of the day. I must have been running on empty as it is taking me a long time to refill completely. I don’t have anything this weekend so hoping my energy will come back if I give myself grace and rest for the rest of the weekend.

I don’t have anything on my calendar until next Friday the 4th. I have to go to Topeka for a Doctor’s appointment and that is the day the Center is handing out donuts. I still need to confirm the pickup time with the donut place. The lady that manages the Center part of those special events is sometimes slow in telling me what time she wants things there and then has a tendency to change it last minute.

I will go to the donut shop tomorrow and give them a time early in the day and then go from there. I will have to get them before 8:00 so I have time to get back to Cottonwood Falls, drop them off and then get on the highway to go to Topeka as I have a late morning appointment. Not sure if she is passing them out in the morning or afternoon.

I will ask her about gallons of chocolate milk and providing cups. Individual jugs are too expensive. I may have to go to several stores to get 15 gallons of chocolate milk though. Sometimes this gets more complicated than I think it should. I will have to buy the milk that morning as I don’t have storage space for 15 gallons of milk. If she can’t mess with gallons of chocolate milk, we will skip the milk. I can’t justify spending over $300 for 200 individual jugs of milk.

Hoping to hear from the Center about permission to provide Go Bags for the Deported Detainees next week. Also the piece of exercise equipment is overdue to arrive and should arrive next week. If we get permission, I will get busy spreading the word and finding suppliers that can provide the bulk items I will need. We need to be prepared to provide at least 100 bags a month, and they may need more. I will also have to find a storage and work space we can use to store the materials needed and assemble them into the backpacks.

Today I got a text from a person I met during the Senator race this summer. She wanted to know if I knew a Pastor Sanchez from Jackson County. I didn’t think I did so she put us in touch as he is working with a Detainee being held in Chase County right now. Turns out he is Hector Sanchez who I met 25 years ago when he worked in Emporia. He called and we had a nice conversation. Unfortunately, I am not able to help him as he was looking for an attorney for his friend that is detained. I don’t have a list of attorney’s for immigrants. Not sure it does any good to spend the money to get one as most are being turned down anyways.

Hector’s youngest daughter was born when I was working with Hector and his wife Sherri back when. His daughter is now a mother of two and is 23 years old. How time flies! It was good to reconnect with him. He and Sherri had gotten divorced just a year after Craig and I did. Both of them have remarried.

This little project keeps connecting me to people from my past. That is the second one that I have been able to connect with since I started this project. Funny how that works.

Feel like I am on hold right now. If the Go Bag project is a go I am going to get busy. If it doesn’t then life will go back to calm. We shall see what happens. I may not know for a bit too. I have another little project that has been pending for a bit too. I called yesterday to check on it and the lady didn’t call me back. Not sure what to read into that. I am also waiting on a check from someone. All three will work themselves out in their time – just not my time.

Grateful for another quiet day at home, grateful for more sleep today, and grateful to reconnect with Hector.

It has been a quiet day at home. I did go to the Dollar General and picked up a few groceries but other than that have stayed home. I did a few little chores around the house and worked some more on the month-end report for Love in Action.

I have felt restless and unsettled for most of the day. It was hard to sit quietly today which is unusual for me. Not sure what it has to tell me. I have worked hard to accept the restlessness and allow it to be. Most times it will pass and life goes on. At least today things have felt easy and not hard like yesterday.

No plans for tomorrow or the weekend. It has been nice to have a couple quiet days at home and look forward to a couple more. If I keep doing a couple little housekeeping things each day I can have the house cleaned by the end of the weekend.

Hard to believe it is almost the end of August. Time is flying by right now, even when I am not busy. It will be Christmas before I know it. The good news is that means my trip with Nicole to the Danube River Cruise will be here before I know it too.

Haven’t spent much time reading the news this week. Every time I attempt to do so I feel chaotic energy and like a vortex attempting to draw me in. I’m not grounded enough to go there today.

Part of what I am feeling has to do with the idea of being able to send Go Bags with the Detainees that are being deported. I struggle to believe the truth that our government sends them to a foreign country where they may or may not have been before and doesn’t give them anything other than what they have on their backs. How in the world are they to survive. Not sure a backpack with a change of clothes and a blanket solves the problem either.

I need to move into acceptance and accept the truth of what is going on and understand I can’t stop any of it. I really need to make sure what I am proposing to do will actually help the Detainees in some real way. It will be a lot of work which I am more than willing to do if I truly feel it will help them. Guess I am having second thoughts about how much it will help.

I tend to pull back into myself when in a situation like this. Once I have clear answers I can go out and make it happen.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for Love in Action that allows me to do something to help even when it feels like it isn’t enough, and grateful love will win in the end.

This has been one of those hard days where most everything I did or touched didn’t go easy. Even things that should have been easy were not.

I attempted to bag up the Go Bag clothes and put them in a two gallon zip lock bag. I struggled to get the stuff in the bag and not one of the bags sealed easily. I got an off brand of bags and man did I regret that. They really were hard to close. I got frustrated and had to stop for a bit and try again. I stuck with it but man it was hard.

I had to find a place to put the tote that I am storing the extra supplies in. I knocked over a stack of paper plates and cups while making room for the tote. One of those days!

I was working on writing the first draft of the month end report for Love in Action. I wrote a couple paragraphs and hit the return button and instead, all that I wrote disappeared. Things like that kept happening! One of those days!

I finally put myself in time-out and took a nap. Things have been a bit easier since I got up but I haven’t attempted to do much. Kinda waiting for this writing to disappear.

Got an email from the Captain of the Center. The person that is taking his place is on vacation and he wants her involved in the decision of what, if anything, they will allow me to do about making Go Bags for those that are being Deported. It is complicated and I don’t want to create problems on their side. However, it hurts my heart to think of the Detainees that are being deported and have no belongings to their name. We shall see what happens.

I decided to do donuts without chocolate milk for our September event. I am waiting to find out what time they want them there and then I will confirm the order with Dunkin’. For October we will do candy for Halloween. One of the Detainees wants some Mexican candy so I will do a combination for Mexican candy and chocolate candy. Wish I could put them in cute bags but I’m sure that wouldn’t be allowed. Need to decide what to do for Thanksgiving. I am going to check with some Mexican restaurants that cater and see how much a meal will be for 200 people. Probably more than I have funds for but maybe one of them will cut me a price break.

No plans for tomorrow. Hopefully it will be an easier day and I can get a few things done. I was afraid to dust today as the way my day was going I would have dropped and broken something. I’m sure tomorrow will be better. I have days like this occasionally, maybe to help remind me to be more grateful for the easy ones.

Mama told me there would be days like this! Man, it has been a hard one but luckily just little things were hard. I had no patience today and made it worse. I’m grateful I haven’t had a day like this for a while. I am also grateful I put myself in time-out to give myself a break from the hard.

Grateful this day is one of the rare ones, grateful the Go Bag stuff is bagged and stored, and grateful this day is almost over.

This has felt like a long day. I didn’t sleep much last night. Got up at 3:00 and was up for a couple of hours. Tried again at 6:00 and gave up at 8:00.

I left the house at 11:00 and headed to Emporia. First stop was at Walmart to pick up the new prescriptions. One of them is free if I only get 10 at a time. This Doctor prescribed 40 so I had to pay. WTF? Between the two I paid over $119 for drugs today.

I am discussing with the Center what to do for our September event and it was suggested we do a donut and chocolate milk. I stopped at Dunkin’ and priced 200 donuts. Yikes! With tax it will be almost $300. They don’t have the storage space to order an extra 200 chocolate milks. I priced Walmart and that will be another $300. $600 for a donut and a jug of chocolate milk for 200 people – not sure the value is there. We did pizza for 200 people for $651. Back to the drawing board.

I had other errands to run so didn’t get groceries. Next stop was at my hairdressers. Every Christmas I always purchase a bag of Peppermint bark chocolates for him. When I was in Costco yesterday they had them in stock with their Christmas goodies so picked up a bag for him. He won’t be in business at Christmas time so this will be the last time I get him a bag.

Met Michelle and Jason at Bobby D’s for lunch. Michelle needed a check to pay a bill and so she gave me cash and used a check. Always a good day when I get to see one or more of my kids. I had a phone conversation with Nicole this afternoon so hit the trifecta with my kids today. Love those type of days!

Came home and posted another idea of a way we can support the Detainees at the Center. I want to put together Go Bags for our friends that are being deported. Some have family that bring them the allowed suitcase of belongings but many do not. They get deported with whatever they were wearing when they were picked up. For many that is a T-shirt, shorts and sandals. Most have a phone with them but no chargers.

I have opened a hornet’s nest of sorts. I am going back and forth with the Center as to what might be allowed and the best way to do that. My supporters are 100% behind the idea and I have gotten all sorts of texts, PM’s and emails of suggestions of ideas. This will be a constant, huge project if we take it on. The Center deported over 1,500 people last year. We won’t need Go Bags for all of them but I estimated it will cost approximately $60 for one bag stocked with a charger and adapter, clean underwear and socks, a sweat shirt or hoodie and a pair of sweat pants, a blanket, and a toiletry kit. We shall see where this little idea goes.

Finding space for storage, time to assemble, raising thousands of dollars, etc. will all be issues that will need to be worked out. Hoping a local church or the food pantry might offer some space. What have I done this time? I also suggested in my post that churches across Kansas might be interested in gathering the supplies for the Go Bags.

It scares me a bit about people improvising and substituting or adding things not approved. I will have to be very clear about what can and cannot be put in them.

I will have to prioritize our projects and funding. Stamps and cards will remain our number one priority. Recreational equipment second, special events third and Go Bags for both the released Detainees and the deported fourth. We may be joining the big leagues and may need to fund raise full time in order to do all of the projects fully.

I didn’t stop for groceries after lunch. I will go back later this week and get what I need. I didn’t have anything urgent on the list and I have nothing else on my calendar until the end of next week so will need an excuse to go to town later this week.

I took a nap again this afternoon. I am afraid I am starting a cycle with napping most days. We shall see where this leads. Sure wish there was a magic pill to make sleep happen when I want it to and not randomly happening on its schedule.

No plans the rest of the week. Looking forward to some quiet space at home. Lots to think about and plan and dream about.

The supplies for the gift bags for the staff at the Center are starting to arrive so will need to put together a work day soon and get those assembled and delivered. Still need to get a few more things to finish them up. The bags were a bit bigger than I expected so need to find some fillers so the bags won’t look so empty.

I am amazed at all the offers of support for the Go Bags for the deported Detainees. People are so incredibly generous when given a need they can understand. We shall see what happens.

Grateful to have spent time with all three of my kids today, grateful for all the haircuts I got from my hairdresser before he retired, and grateful for the overwhelming support of the idea of Go Bags for the deported Detainees.

I left for my doctor’s appointment around noon. Got there early but they called me back early. The nurse did my vitals and then I waited for almost 30 minutes.

The PA I saw seemed to know her stuff. I didn’t get a diagnosis though, just more pills to treat symptoms. Because the two things I complained about only happen sporadically, I guess it is hard to diagnose? One of them creates a quality of life issue and the other I can proceed as normal but can’t eat or drink for 8 – 10 hours. We shall see if the medication helps. If not, I will push for something else.

We did have a nice conversation about traveling. She had gone to New Zealand and Italy and we talked about that. She was a bit loud but easy to talk to.

After I left I went to Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Costco. Costco didn’t have one of the items I went for but I managed to find other things I didn’t know I needed. Came home after that. It was an easy trip to and from although the Turnpike has about four construction zones to go through.

I filled up with gas at Costco but I should have filled up in Emporia. I would have saved $0.20 a gallon. Not sure why but Emporia always seems to have the cheapest gas around.

I noticed Costco now carries Coke in plastic bottles at a much cheaper price than I can get them at Walmart. If we do a bottle of Coke again for the Detainees, it might be worth a drive to Wichita to buy them there.

Took a nap when I got home as I felt exhausted. I may not sleep tonight but even without a nap I may not sleep. I take sleep whenever it finds me.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia and pick up the prescriptions. Am going to have lunch with Michelle. She has something she needs me to do for her and since I have to go to town we might as well make a lunch out of it. Costco had the treat I always buy for my hairdresser as a Christmas present so I will take that to him while I am in town since he won’t be cutting hair at Christmas time.

I might stop and get a few groceries. I can’t think of too many things I need so may not bother with the couple things I need. By the end of the week, I might need an excuse to get out of the house as I have nothing on my calendar for the next ten days or so.

It was a bit frustrating at the doctor’s office. I had anticipated that they wouldn’t be able to tell me what was wrong and have a definite plan of treatment. My body didn’t read the rule book and tends to present in weird ways that stump the docs. I’m not always sure more pills solve anything, especially when they don’t know what is wrong. Sure, it might make me feel better for a moment but does it really fix the real problem?

Maybe I need to be grateful there is nothing seriously wrong, just some very challenging and annoying symptoms. I will work to get to that space. Accept what is! Is that my new mantra?

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful for a nap today, and grateful I get to have lunch with Michelle tomorrow.

I woke up to the sound of something crashing. I yelled for Kathy to make sure she hadn’t fallen. She hadn’t. I went in my bathroom the thing holding up my soap dispenser thingy had fallen off the wall of the shower. Luckily, none of the dispensers broke. I texted Phil and he is going to come over and screw it to the wall. It was just glued when it was put up two years ago.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to pick up two prescriptions I had ready. Kathy also had one so I got her prescription too.

It sprinkled off and on both to and from Emporia. It never did rain much. It was in the lower 80’s today which was a nice break from the heat.

I got six thank you notes written. One was a PM and the others I put in the mail box. Good to have those caught up.

Tomorrow I have to be at a doctor’s appointment in Wichita at 1:15. I will probably go early and have lunch before. I will stop at Costco afterwards. Trusting they can find some answers for my tummy issues.

The rest of the week is empty space so far. I do have some little things around the house that I need to take care. Maybe a week of empty space will allow me to get those things taken care of.

I do need to finalize what we are doing at the Center for our September event. The Center usually needs two weeks notice if they need to order something for the event. One of the Detainees asked for donuts but not sure how we would handle that for the diabetics. I think they also get them occasionally already. Maybe the Sergeant that I work with has some ideas too.

This little project of Love in Action keeps me on my toes sometimes. I don’t think it takes much of my time but sometimes it feels like it takes over. After I get the September event planned, things should quiet down for a bit.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley. Things feel easy when I am in this valley. I never know how long it will last and I will get to stay here. I have learned to cherish every moment that it lasts.

Grateful for Phil and all he can do, grateful the thank you notes are done, and grateful for this peaceful valley.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day where I didn’t do much. I took a nap this afternoon and probably slept too long but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Three more people donated to the Facebook Fundraiser so I met my goal of raising $800. I ended up not spending that much as the pizza was on sale. I am deeply humbled by all the donations. Others also donated in other ways so we are set with cash for right now. Next week I need to firm up plans for our September special event and also start working on a budget for the rest of the year. Depending on what we decide to do, we may not need a fall fundraiser.

I was up during the night for a couple of hours and took the chance to respond to all the birthday greetings. I have a few more that came in today to respond to. So many people took a moment out of their busy day to send greetings. I appreciated each one of them.

No plans for tomorrow. I may go to Emporia to pick up something but haven’t decided yet. I will see how I feel in the morning. Somedays I can get out of the house and some days I can’t. I have to go to Wichita Monday so need to reserve energy for that.

Luckily the rest of the week is empty space. Maybe one of these days I will get some cleaning done. It is almost to the point of driving me crazy which means I need to get some things cleaned up.

Feel like I am back in my peaceful valley today. I stepped out of it for a bit but it feels good to be back. I have yet to figure out what draws me out and what draws me back. Recognizing where I am helps though. I have learned to be careful about what conclusions I come to when I am out of bounds. My intuition isn’t as sharp and it is harder to think things through.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful to be back in my peaceful valley of life, and grateful for a long afternoon nap.

This has been a day full of God winks or glimmers as some people call them. Coincidences I can’t explain!

Two people added to the Birthday Fundraiser on the Love in Action Facebook page today. The total that people contributed to the cost of the pizza for the Detainees through the Facebook post alone was $656. The pizza cost $651. Mind blow number one for the day.

The pizza was on sale at $12 a pizza instead of the normal $15. That saved me over $150 as I ordered 50 pizzas. A God wink?

Other people also send funds using other methods. I think I have enough cash on hand to fund most of our fall and winter special events at the Detention Center depending on what we choose to do.

I got a call from the Detention Center. Someone had mailed a donation for Love in Action to the Detention Center and put Attn: Kay on the envelope. I went and picked that check up and it was for $500! Mind blow number two. For it to have arrived on my birthday – what a gift.

Jason invited me to lunch so Kathy and I drove in. When I got to the restaurant to meet him, Michelle was there too. Another glimmer!

My phone and iPad have been pinging all day with all the notes and texts people have sent wishing me a happy birthday. I am loved and I so appreciate all the ways people have showed it today.

Kathy and I stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home and picked up a DQ birthday cake. We each enjoyed a piece of it this afternoon. I kinda like turning 73! Lots of love, attention and special treats.

My friends from California that I met while I was walking the Camino eleven years ago FaceTime with me today. It is always a special day when they call and we catch up with each other. Carolyn is undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Tom is turning 90 in September.

They reminded me that eleven years ago today I flew to Paris to begin my Camino de Santiago adventure. Absolutely the best travel experience I have done so far. I am so grateful for all the lessons the Camino had to teach me. I still practice what I learned most everyday.

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a doctor’s appointment. I will enjoy lunch at Chipotle while I am there and will stop at Costco and restock. Trusting the doctor will have some solutions to my tummy issues.

The rest of next week is empty space. I do need to figure out what we are doing at the Center for Labor Day and get whatever we are doing ordered. The person that I coordinate all this with at the Center has been at a conference all week and just got back today. Hoping I can catch up with her next week and get our plans made for all the special events for the rest of the year.

Sitting with a heart full of love this evening. It was a perfect birthday filled with special memories and special people and special treats.

Grateful for all the ways people loved on me today, grateful for lunch with two of my kids, and grateful the Detainees are enjoying a pizza treat tonight.

This has been another quiet day. I did go to Emporia this afternoon to pick up the things I couldn’t make myself get yesterday..

I spent some time this morning sorting the clothes for the released detainees. I need some 2 gallon zip lock bags to put each set in so they stay organized. I ordered some and they will be here Tuesday. I figured out what I still needed and updated the gift registry. I had missed a couple of things when I created it the first time.

I got a tote today to store everything in. The backpacks I ordered are perfect and everything fits with room to spare. I picked up a box of Tampons today and will add a couple to each of the women’s toiletry bags.

Got a request from a detainee for garlic sauce with the pizza for tomorrow. Two problems – cost and availability. Each packet costs $0.69 each and I would need 200 of them which is $150 with tax. The place I am ordering the pizza from, doesn’t have 200 on hand. I will consider adding it for next time but not sure the value is there for the cost. Dang, this gets complicated sometimes.

Have washed and dried the sheets from my bed but haven’t gotten it made yet. Best get that done so I don’t forget and go to bed without getting it done. I have done that before and it is frustrating.

Had a great conversation with Nicole today. We went deep today which we do occasionally. Love those types of conversations. She is ordering foreign money for our trip in November for us. I could probably figure out how to do that but it is easier to let her do it. We are going to six different countries and I think need four different currencies. Wonder how I will keep all that straight? Good thing I have Nicole with me.

Nicole said the Danube River is running very low right now and most of the cruises are having to bus it for part or even most of the cruise. We shall see what happens for us. I dislike long bus rides but will do what we have to do to get from Point A to Point B. Maybe they will get their fall rains and the river will be up when we go in November.

No plans for tomorrow except to go pay for the pizza. They are having a buy one get 50% on the second one. That will save me 25% on the cost which is a nice bonus. 50 pizzas get expensive!

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a follow up visit with the office that did my colonoscopy. Trusting they will have some answers for me and a solution to my tummy issues. Since I will be in Wichita I will get to have lunch at Chipotle and then stop at Costco and pick up a few things.

Sitting in a quiet mind space today. One of those days where I can’t hold on to a thought very long. I feel more like an observer of my life than a participant.

Grateful for the phone call with Nicole today, grateful the Go Bag project is almost organized, and grateful for this slow, quiet time in my life.

I went to Emporia this morning. Stopped and had breakfast at Commercial St Diner. My favorite waitress was working and I got to sit at one of her tables. She always remembers what I eat and drink.

After breakfast I went to the post office and mailed a package to my Aunt Marylyn. She called me last night and told me my cousin had seen the article about Love in Action in the paper Sunday. She wanted to hear about it.

I took the car through the car wash after I left the post office and then went to Walmart to pick up my prescriptions. I had a couple other things on my list but wasn’t in the mood to get them. Nothing was urgent so I came home.

Took a nap after I came home as I was exhausted. Not sure why but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Haven’t done much this afternoon and evening. I need to sort and pack up the donated goods for the go bags for Love in Action but that hasn’t felt urgent enough to do today. Hopefully I will get that done tomorrow as I don’t have anything else on my calendar.

Last night when I was opening all the packages that have arrived and getting them ready to wash I found a small package. I hadn’t remembered ordering anything that small. When I opened it I discovered some plastic piercing shafts for a penis. Kathy and I laughed big over that! Yes, we had to look up pictures on how they are used. Yuck!

They definitely pulled the wrong item. When I sort things out tomorrow I will see if I can figure out what I didn’t get that I should have. This makes me wonder if the Captain has ever gotten something quite unusual from one of my donors. I’ll have to warn him about what happened to me.

Nothing on my calendar until next Monday when I have a follow up appointment in Wichita with the Doctor that did the colonoscopy. I trust they can come up with something that will help solve my tummy issues.

I plan on going to Wichita early and having lunch and doing some shopping at Costco before my appointment. I have started a short list of things I need from Costco. It is one of the few stores I don’t mind shopping at.

I trust I will wake up feeling rested tomorrow and have some energy to do a few things around here. I feel like I have been running on low for a bit and am having trouble refilling completely. The world chaos and energy is high and I need to turn it off and focus on my own energy for a couple of days.

Grateful for the big laugh last night when I opened the small package, grateful for a good nap today, and grateful for breakfast with my favorite waitress this morning.