Starry night on the prairie

I went to bed before 9:00 last night and actually fell asleep rather quickly. Unfortunately, I woke up at 1:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep. It has been a long day.

I took Roxy to the Vet this morning for her surgery. They called a little before noon and let me know all is well and that I could pick her up after 4:00 this afternoon.

Kathy and I drove in, paid the jaw dropping $600 bill, and then found out that Roxy wasn’t able to walk yet as she was still sleepy. They gave me the option of carrying my 93 pound dog or picking her up tomorrow.

We are going to KC in the morning for Kathy’s doctor’s appointment and won’t be home to watch Roxy during the day. I told them I couldn’t get her in the morning so they are going to let us pick her up on our way back through town late afternoon. We may have to skip Costco if the doctor’s appointment takes more than an hour or so. We shall see what happens.

Sophia, our other dog, has been a bit lost today without her mama here. She came in for a bit but wanted back outside.

We had quite the thunderstorm roll through during the night. The lightning and thunder was intense at times. Grateful for what rain we did get.

Got a big donation for Love in Action today as well as several others. It is so gratifying to see the support for the Go Bags and that we are getting donations from new donors. The big donation today came from a first time donor. We have gained almost 200 new members in our Love in Action Facebook group this week.

Got six thank you notes written and in the mail box today. I forgot to go down to the post office and open a PO Box though. I will do that next week.

After I dropped Roxy off at the Vet this morning, I met Jason for breakfast. He has some family drama going on too and it was nice to touch base with him. We both shared our issues. Somehow it helps to have someone else listen to my woes. It always seems to lighten the load.

When I got home from the trip to Emporia this morning I took a short nap. Didn’t get much sleep but it took the rough edge off my day. I am getting sleep deprived again.

Trying to figure out how much to share about the Go Bags on the Facebook page. People are so generous and want to help but sometimes their help is not what I can use and they struggle to accept no. I have many rules and restrictions I have to follow. I have never sat down and written them all out as I don’t think most people need to know or even care and probably wouldn’t read it anyways.

I also don’t want to get too aggressive in placing items on the wish list as I know they will get ordered shortly after I place them on the wish list and I don’t have a storage place ironed out for sure yet. We aren’t going to start distributing the Go Bags until the first of December and there is no use getting all the stuff here when we don’t need it for over two months. I need to make sure the funds are there to support the project first, and then I will take the next step.

After my doctor’s appointment next Monday in Topeka I will have lots of empty space and give the Go Bags project my full attention and get some next steps worked out. Hopefully by then my own family drama will be turned down to a low roar and I will get caught up on sleep and will be able to focus on the Go Bags.

Next week I need to get the website changes that I am going to make drafted out and have a conversation with my website designer. His family had their own drama and he has been a bit missing in action as a result. I may need to find a volunteer that can handle that part of this project for me. Any ideas on who I could ask?

Life sure is showing me these days to not get too fixed on anything as more than likely things will change. Certainly is not something the Universe offers us. Sometimes things change so quickly I feel a bit whip lashed as a result trying to keep up. Forecasting what may or may not happen is getting to be pointless though. Reminding myself to stay present to what is seems to be the best thing I can do for myself right now.

Grateful Roxy’s surgery went well, grateful I had the funds to pay the bill, and grateful for time with Jason today.

I met with the Sheriff and new Captain of the Detention Center this morning. We covered a lot of issues and it was a productive meeting.

I had some generic questions I asked and got answers for. We had a conversation about phone calls. They are going to explore allowing us to provide phone cards to the Detainees as our special monthly event at Christmas time and for those that are newly arrived to the Center.

We had a long discussion about the Go Bags. They have a storage issue at the Center and don’t think they can store 30 bags. But, we did come up with an alternative. The Detainees are told when they process in that if they get deported a family member can bring them a suitcase of up to 40 pounds of allowed goods. Some don’t have family that can provide that.

The Center will put the Love in Action contact information in the packet of information and the Detainees can pass it on to their family and they will contact us and ask us to provide a Go Bag for a departing detainee. That way the Center only has what will actually be used on hand.

We will put together a standard, basic bag of a toiletry kit appropriate for the sex of the detainee, a change of clothes including underwear and socks, a phone charger, a pencil and pad of paper, and a blanket, Families can send additional items or request additional items be added. We will put all this in a backpack.

We are going to gather supplies for 100 of them and go from there. I have no idea how many might be requested. I told the Center we would attempt to have them ready to go by the first of December. I am going to be gone for 16 days in November and won’t be able to take bags up to the Center during that time. That will also allow us time to gather the supplies and organize ourselves. Some of the items have to be standardized which means Love in Action has to bulk order them and supply them. Other things can be donated such as socks, charger cords, etc. If Love in Action bought everything, it will cost about $5,000 for the whole bag. Lots of fundraising to do!

Kathy and I gathered up the appreciation bags and delivered them to the Center this afternoon. The Sheriff’s department posted a nice thank you on their Facebook page. Good to have them out of the house and that project completed. I still need to organize my house again but didn’t get that done today.

I didn’t sleep last night. Had a bit of family drama last night and couldn’t sleep last night. Things are still a bit unsettled but a bit better today. I think a major change is in the works and not sure yet when it will happen. Life is a constant state of change so it is my reminder to myself to go with it however it turns out.

Tomorrow I have to get up early and have Roxy at the Vet no later than 8:30. I don’t like early mornings but hoping I crash fairly early tonight and can get up and going in the morning. I need to remember to go out and pick up the dog’s food bowl before I go to bed as Roxy can’t eat anything after 10:00 tonight.

Friday I am going to KC to take Kathy to the Memory Care Clinic at KU. We have a couple things to do while we are in town if we aren’t too fried after the appointment.

Thank heavens the weekend is empty space. Monday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. The rest of the week looks fairly quiet. I will need the time to organize the fundraiser and donation drives for Love in Action.

Have already received several donations from my generous supporters. I have lots of thank you notes I need to take care of yet this week. I am a bit behind on them.

I really felt the different timelines or living in different realities last night and today. We can’t hear each other even though words are being said. When someone is on a different timeline that happens. The best I can do is set my boundaries and then take care of myself. It is painful though and hard to see someone get caught in the middle of all of it.

Grateful to get the green light for the Go Bags in a modified version, grateful for all the cooperation the Center gives me, and grateful the donations have already started coming in.

Last night one of my Pen Pal Volunteers sent me a story about the Pen Pal she has been writing to for several months. I asked her if she could put what happened into a story and she sent it to me. She did an excellent job writing the story. I did remove the last name of the Pen Pal to protect her privacy and then posted the story on our Love in Action Facebook page.

It has been viewed over 1,000 times so far and I’m sure that number will continue to climb. This story involves a lady that can’t be deported back to her home country as it is too dangerous. She has been moved to Louisiana which means she is waiting for another country to accept her and then she will be deported to a country she has never been in before. She will leave behind an 8 year old son, a 20 year old daughter and her husband.

Stories like this take all my energy and leave me in deep despair for a bit. I just can’t quite wrap my head around what we are doing as a nation and why so many people support these actions.

She did mention in her story how important it was to this family that the lady was able to send home notes to her family and the drawings she had made. Without Love in Action that would not have been possible. However, it still seems insignificant in the bigger picture.

Sometimes I have something like this hit me in the face and I wonder what I am doing organizing Go Bags in light of all that the deportees face. Yet it is something so I keep doing it. One drop in the ocean feels not enough sometimes. Yet I know I can’t stop as something is better than nothing.

Went to the Vo-Tech to have my teeth cleaned. For a beginning second year student, she did a good job. I got there at 12:30 and didn’t get out until 3:00. My teeth were really bad again. I have an appointment to go back in December and hoping that one won’t take so long. I am a plaque overachiever! My mouth is smaller than normal and my teeth are crowded together. The student got a good workout today trying to remove all the plaque in tight spaces.

I didn’t sleep much last night which isn’t unusual after a night where I got lots of sleep. I sure could take a nap right now but will do my best to stay up and go to bed fairly early.

Tomorrow I have my meeting with the Staff at the Detention Center to see if the Go Bag project is a go. I have several other things to discuss with them too. Fingers crossed it is a go!

I got two books of stamps today in the mail. I always appreciate getting stamps as it is a huge budget saver.

Thursday Roxy has her surgery so I will probably make two trips to town to take her and then go get her. I guess there is a chance she will have to spend the night but we shall see.

Friday I take Kathy to the KU Memory Care Unit for her annual check-up. I am meeting someone to pick up a box of collected donations for Love in Action, and we will also make a Costco stop.

Thankfully the weekend is free and full of empty space. Monday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment.

I didn’t get the bags taken to the Center today. It was too hot to make eight trips to the car to load the car and then eight trips to unload it. It is to be a bit cooler tomorrow so will probably take them up tomorrow afternoon. It will be good to have space in my living room and dining room again after they are gone.

Still feeling a bit empty after reading the letter from last night. I give myself permission to allow all the feels and sometimes that can take a bit. Once I do that, I normally can refill myself fairly quickly. I don’t want to go into the meeting tomorrow not filled but that isn’t always something I can control.

Grateful my teeth are cleaned, grateful for the Pen Pal Volunteers, and grateful for the two books of stamps.

Wow! How did it get to be the 7th of September already? Time is flying by right now.

This has been a low energy day for me. I slept in this morning so it has been a short day for me. Not sure how it got to be evening time already though. Time does go by regardless of what one is doing or not doing.

I sure didn’t do much today. As usual when I finally get sleep, I feel more tired that day than if I hadn’t gotten much. Sure could take a nap but know that isn’t a good idea to do that this late in the day. Hopefully when I do go to bed tonight, I will get sleep again. One could get used to sleeping more than two hours a night.

Tomorrow morning I want to take the gift bags up to the Detention Center if I get up early enough. I have to leave for Emporia before noon for my dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech in the afternoon. I got some boxes out of the shed but I can’t really fit many gift bags in them so guess I will just carry them as they are. I can carry about ten at a time fairly easily. We put together 80 of them so that is 8 trips. I can do that.

Wednesday I have a meeting with the top dogs at the Center to have a discussion about the go bags. Not sure if I will get a definitive answer or not. Sure hoping so. If this project is a go, I would like to get started on it. We probably won’t start supplying them until I get home from my trip in November. But things might come in quicker than I anticipate and I can find someone to take bags up to them three times a week. We shall see how this plays out or even if we get to play.

Roxy has surgery on Thursday. I usually can bring her home the same day. We shall see if that is what happens this time. She licks her sore teat all the time. Not sure how we prevent that after surgery.

Friday I take Kathy to KC for her appointment at the KU Memory Care Unit. Not sure how long this appointment will last. I am betting they will do a short memory test on her to see her progression since last year. Last time I think we were there about an hour. Afterwards we will go to lunch and make a stop at Costco. We are also going to meet up with someone that has a box of things for Love in Action.

Thankfully, the weekend looks empty. The following Monday I have to go to Topeka for an appointment. Then maybe my out-of-town trips can come to a stop. It will be fourteen weeks in a row of at least one out-of-town trip if not two in the same week. That is more than I usually do in a year.

Not sure this has felt like a holiday weekend to me. Funny how when you are retired all the days feel about the same. Holidays don’t hold the same feelings as they did when I worked. September means the Christmas holidays aren’t far behind. Yuck!

Found some small paper bags that will hold the Halloween treats for the detainees and got them ordered. I can’t use plastic and they can’t have handles so they were a bit tricky to find some. It will make the job of the person that hands them out much easier if the treats are bagged and ready to go. One of these days when I go to Emporia, I need to go to the Mexican grocery stores and find the candy I am looking for. They will get a mix of Mexican candy and chocolate candies.

Need to talk to the staff tomorrow to determine what we want to do for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year for the detainees. I want to push the phone call thing for Christmas and possibly having a diner catered for Thanksgiving. We can always do pizza again but I would love to do more of a feast.

If the Go Bag project doesn’t get approved, I will have some quiet time for Love in Action for a bit. We have enough funds to do Christmas and Thanksgiving without raising more funds. Part of me needs that quiet time but I also would love to get started with the Go Bag project too. We shall see what happens.

Feeling a bit small today. There is some stuff going on that I am not sure how to handle. It will work itself out. No one has a crystal ball and can tell me how. My opinion wasn’t asked for so will use this as a chance to practice patience and self-control. I will have to live with the consequences of the situation but I will deal with that when it happens.

Grateful for a very quiet day at home, grateful I can allow myself to have a do-nothing type of day, and grateful for lots of sleep last night.

Sure doesn’t feel like a Sunday to me. I was surprised when I read the day of the week on my iPad just now. Not sure what day I think it should be, just hasn’t felt like a Sunday.

My gang showed up for me today and we had 80 gift bags stuffed and tied up in less than 30 minutes. Oh my! What a back saver that was for me. Afterwards we sat and visited for a bit and caught up on each other and what is going on. We are all getting to be of an age where these bodies of ours are slowly breaking down. Some have really been through the wringer lately.

Now I need to find some boxes and figure out how to get the bags to the Detention Center. I will find some boxes tomorrow and then take them up to the Center Tuesday morning. It is so nice to have that project almost completed.

Haven’t done much else today. I had to run to the store twice today as I forgot something the first time. I attempted taking a nap twice today and didn’t find much sleep either time. Felt good to rest for a bit though. My tummy is doing its naughty thing this evening. Haven’t taken anything for it yet but have a feeling I should.

No plans for tomorrow other than boxing up the bags. I have some housecleaning to do. It is starting to bother me a bit. I should have cleaned before the gang came over but I am long past the stage of being concerned what they think about my housecleaning skills.

Tuesday I will deliver the bags in the morning and then I have a dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech in the afternoon. It usually takes a couple hours for them to do their thing as it is a student program.

Wednesday I have the meeting with the Detention Center that I hopes gives me the green light to proceed with the Go Bag idea. If I get the green light, I doubt we will be ready for distribution until the first part of December. I will need to raise a bunch of money first and give others the opportunity to participate with donations of socks, underwear, etc. Have another possibility for a storage space offered to me today so will see where that goes.

Thursday Roxy has her surgery. She has been good about taking her pills. I stuff them into a good size piece of hot dog and she has taken them right down. Sophia always gets a little bite of hot dog too. I will probably have to make two trips to town that day. She has to be at the Vet no later than 8:30.

Friday I am taking Kathy to the memory care clinic of KU in KC. I am meeting up with someone to collect a box of things they have already collected for the Go Bag project. We will also make a stop at Costco.

Luckily, the weekend is free and empty at this point. The next week looks a lot quieter so far but if the Go Bags are a go it may fill up quick.

Sitting in gratitude for my tribe today. It was fun putting the bags together with all the help. They made a job that might have taken me all day get done in less than 30 minutes. I am so lucky to have these friends in my life and that they dropped whatever they had planned for today to come and show up with eager hands and hearts wide open.

Grateful for my friend’s help today, grateful the bags are all assembled, and grateful for a quiet day tomorrow.

I went to Emporia early afternoon to pick up some groceries and a prescription that was ready. I also picked up two prescriptions for Kathy. She has trouble remembering to pick them up.

I sent out an SOS to a group of my friends to see if anyone would be available to come help stuff the gift bags for the detention center staff. I think all of them are going to be able to come except maybe one. It would be hard to do my life without my friends!

I am working on writing a note and signing the appreciation cards that will go in each gift bag. I think I am close to being half done. I will keep working on them tonight and hopefully finish them up before the gang gets here to stuff the bags.

It shouldn’t take us too long to get them all done. Not sure where I will put them to do them. I have a long table in the shed I can bring in. I think between the dining room table and the long table they will all fit. I will have to find some boxes to put them in so I can get them to the Detention Center next week.

I had some stickers someone had made for the No Kings Rally in Topeka when Love in Action had an informational table. I put one on each of the outside of the bags. Love how those things are available when I need them.

I got some wine today and am going to make a corn dip for tomorrow so we have some munchies while we work. I will run to the Dollar General and get the last two ingredients I need to make the dip and get some corn chips.

It will be a relief to have the gift bags all ready to go. I so appreciate my tribe showing up for me.

I am anxious about the meeting at the Center on Wednesday where I hope to find out if the Go Bags are a go. I am making a list of other questions I have for the top dogs at the Center. Maybe I can get several things accomplished at this meeting.

A lady has a big box of something for me to pick up Friday while I am in KC. Not sure who she got it from other than she said someone(s) did a collection from a list she gave them. Trusting it will be something I can use for the Detainees. If the Go Bags project isn’t a go, I’m not sure where I will store this stuff.

Jason offered his basement if I can’t find another storage/work space. Not sure I want to do steps but at least I know I have a storage/work space if all else fails.

It will be an interesting week next week. Have something everyday on my calendar already. Have a list of other things that need to get done too, especially if the Go Bag project gets approved. I will enjoy Monday as it may be my last real quiet day for a bit.

Need to find someone to update the website. It will become very important if the Go Bag project gets approved. My neighbor boy got home today but I’m sure it will take the family a bit to recover as they have been gone for over a week with the sick girl.

Best get back to finishing up the appreciation notes. I am on a timeline now!

Grateful for my friend’s help tomorrow, grateful for all the possibilities that are coming my way, and grateful to get this gift project finished up.

I left for Topeka at 9:20 this morning. I had to stop and fill up with gas on my way. Gas is about $0.30 a gallon cheaper in Emporia than in Topeka.

Got to the doctor’s office at 10:45 for my 11:00 appointment. They called me back at 10:50. The nurse did her thing and it was only about a five minute wait for the NP to come in.

She did her thing and I was out of there by 11:20. Went to Chipotle for lunch because why not! Ate and then went to Emporia.

I stopped at Dunkin’ and picked up 16 dozen donuts. They had two employees carry them to my car for me while I paid. That was nice!

Stopped at the Detention Center when I got to Cottonwood Falls and it took four trips in to get all the Dunkin’ Donuts in plus the dozen that were low sugar and gluten-free. The lady at the dispatch window recognized me and asked if I needed Heather.

I left before Heather came out and I came home. I wasn’t home too long before I got a pen pal message from one of our pen pals thanking Love in Action for the donuts.

I was tired this afternoon. Kathy nor I found much sleep last night. I laid down three different times and finally got a short nap. Sleep is still in hiding around here.

Found a supplier on-line that sells backpacks, toiletry kits, and blankets for way cheaper than I expected I would be able to find. I have a meeting next Wednesday with the staff at the Center to see if the project is a go. If it is, I will send a request for a bid from the company and go from there. What I want they don’t sell in one package. I have to have the toiletry bags that are approved for air travel and they don’t sell those in a bundle with the other products. Not sure if I will have to buy things individually or if they can package them. Either way, it is way cheaper than I anticipated so it will be a win. Now to find out how much shipping charges are.

No plans for the holiday weekend. The rest of the items for the Staff’s appreciation bags came in so I can start working on those. I would like to take them up when I go for my meeting next Wednesday morning. I have a busy weekend ahead if I decide to push and get them all assembled by then. I am writing a handwritten note on an appreciation card and then have tissue paper to wrap the other goods in the bag and ribbon to tie it shut. That kinda thing is really not my strong suit but will see what happens.

I have something Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday next week so it will be a busy week for me. I’m not used to having something on my calendar every day. If the Go Bags are a go, things are really going to get busy for me.

Grateful the donut project is complete, grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, and grateful for three empty space days ahead of me.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go to the Dollar General to get some hot dogs so I can get Roxy to take her pills. They worked like a charm for her first pills today. We shall see if they continue to work.

I haven’t done much today. I am giving the Go Bag project some energy and thought. I think I will break what we need up and if churches, social groups, etc want to do a collection drive, they can pick one or two items and focus on those. A church could do a sock drive for example. I think that would simplify it and spread out what we collect in a way that won’t cause lots of one thing and nothing of another.

I am writing a letter to the Staff at the Center and requesting a face-to-face meeting with the top officials so we can figure this all out. They still may say no but I want them to do that to my face. They still may say yes too. I would like to get some time before we commit to having the first bags delivered. I will need at least 30 days to get everything set up and find a space for storage and to assemble the bags. It will take some time to find churches and social groups to help too. People from Love in Action are scattered throughout the state of Kansas and beyond. I may be taking more road trips to pick things up!

Tomorrow I have to be in Topeka late morning for a doctor’s appointment. I will stop and have lunch afterwards and then come back to Emporia, stop and pick up the donuts and deliver them to the Center. One more special event will be crossed off the list!

No plans for the holiday weekend. Have things scheduled for three different days next week so it will feel a bit busy for me. I do need to go buy groceries at some point this weekend. I will see when the mood hits to make another trip to town.

It has been a quiet week for me with little interaction with others. My soul needed this time-out. I haven’t done much and had little energy. I have not read much news as I needed to step away for a bit. Feeling a bit isolated but I needed that to let my mind get quiet again. My heart had felt heavy from all the chaos in the world and it was weighing me down. I am no good to any one, including myself, if I allow myself to get below neutral and stay there.

Grateful for hot dogs that make the medicine go down, grateful for quiet time at home, and grateful I finally feel like I have climbed above neutral again.

I took Roxy to the Vet today. She has a sore on one of her teats. She is going to have surgery a week from tomorrow. In the meantime, I have to give her a round of antibiotics and something to reduce inflammation. She also has a fatty tumor and they are going to take that off too.

Since she is an “older” girl, they are going to do a blood work up before surgery. The Vet doesn’t think it is breast cancer although that is a possibility.

Roxy did well getting in and out of the car and at the office. She really didn’t want to wait for me to check-out and pay. She was ready to leave right NOW.

Getting her to take pills is a problem. It took four tries for one of her pills today. I finally wrapped it in a bite of bread and tricked her into taking it. I will have to go get some hot dogs as those usually work.

Haven’t done much else today. Still waiting to hear from the Center about their decision about the Go Bags. I need to enjoy this quiet time as if I get the green light on the Go Bags things are going to get busy for me.

Tomorrow is an empty space day. Friday I go to Topeka and then deliver the donuts to the Center. No plans for the holiday weekend. Next Tuesday I have a dental cleaning at the Vo-Tech, Thursday is Roxy’s surgery and Friday I take Kathy to the Memory Clinic in KC. Best enjoy the quiet weekend as it is going to be a busy week.

Got one of the items I ordered for the gift bags for the Detention Center staff today. Still waiting on two more things to come in. I found some appreciation notes I ordered that should be in early next week. I can start getting those written out as soon as they get here. It will be good to get this project completed and my dining room table cheered off again.

Looking at some grants that I might apply for if I get the green light to proceed. Most of them require more goal setting and details that I have never crystallized for Love in Action before. I did some chatting on ChapGPT today and found it helpful in putting those words together. I will go back to it if I need to write a grant.

This heat is holding on. I feel bad for the students that are doing fall sports. Practice must be brutal.

Grateful Roxy is going to be taken care of, grateful for an empty space day tomorrow, and grateful for a quiet evening at home.

Another night where sleep was elusive. I gave up and got up around 6:30.

I went to town this morning. I needed 100 small plates for the donut event on Friday. I also needed a dozen donuts for the diabetics. I found four at Walmart and found eight more at Nature’s Paradise. They are different brands but I think they will work. I am grateful I have them in the house. I didn’t know if I could find them Friday and I didn’t want to cut it that close.

Came home and took a long nap. Finally feel a bit rested but not completely. I am grateful I get to take naps when I need them.

Haven’t done much else today. Got a couple thank you notes written and mailed.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are taking Roxy to the Vet. She has a sore on her tummy that is looking nasty. It has been there for a bit. It kept getting better and then would look nasty again. She has another lump on her tummy too. They checked one before and it is some sort of fatty tumor that is benign. Not sure what they can do for this one but we shall see.

If I don’t hear from the Center by Thursday about the Go Bag project, I will bug them. If we are going to do it, I would like to get started. I saw a grant opportunity that might apply and the deadline is September 15. Would be nice to get some extra funds if the project is a go. Many years ago I wrote a grant for a Girl Scout project and also one for the Emporia Public School Foundation. Both were successful so have some history with grant writing.

I sure don’t like this last blast of summer heat we are having. Doesn’t look like much relief in sight when I look at the ten-day forecast. With the wind we have had we are getting mighty dry.

I am starting to feel a bit isolated from my friends. I know a couple have some things going on but haven’t heard an update lately. I need to reach out and find out the news. I miss us meeting regularly but still don’t have it in me yet to organize it.

I keep feeling things are about to crack wide open and maybe not in an easy way. Not necessarily personal things, more on the world level. I kept hoping more would wake up and understand their own role in all of this and help tip things in a different way. I still think that has happened but the chaos is still overwhelming the world. We must still need some hard things to happen before people can wake up.

I also feel like I need to draw inward during this time. There is absolutely nothing I can do to help wake someone else up. I do need to make sure I stay centered and grounded and I do that best when I am somewhat isolated.

Somewhere in all this is balance and moderation. Neither of those have even come easy for me. Maybe this is another chance for that to happen.

Grateful I found the diabetic donuts, grateful I like being alone, and grateful life continues to teach me deep lessons.

Rough night for sleep. I was sleeping really good late morning when my brother came to bring me a check for the beef he got in early August. I got up and we had a nice visit.

I posted the month-end report for Love in Action. Have gotten two donations today for a total of $150. I appreciate the support.

Someone sent me a PM and said they had some donations to pick up and we need to figure out a way to get them to me. Not sure what to reply yet. I do not have room to start accepting donations for the Go Bags and I am not even sure we are going to do them. I don’t want to discourage the donation but am a bit cautious about accepting it too. I will sit with it tonight and then respond tomorrow.

I am tired tonight. I could easily fall asleep right now. It is too early though as I would be up at 4:00 in the morning. Maybe my writing will wake me up a bit and I can stay awake until bedtime.

A friend did a fundraiser and made pans of lasagna with a loaf of French bread. The lasagna is frozen so I can heat it up whenever I have a crowd for a meal. I drove out and picked it up this evening. Maybe we will have it for our next family day.

I remembered to call and make a Vet appointment for Roxy, She has a sore on her stomach that has been here for a bit. It gets worse and then it gets better. It has been going on for too long and I had kept forgetting to call for an appointment. I take her in Wednesday afternoon. The dogs spent most of the day inside as it was over 100 here today.

The return address labels I ordered came in. I need to take them up to the Center tomorrow along with some stamps. They put them on envelopes so the Detainees can write Love in Action a letter or send a card. I had given them 300 before and I certainly have not received 300 notes and letters but she said she was out of them. Sometimes I scratch my head and wonder what is going on but I honor her needs.

Didn’t get much done today. Low energy type of day for me. Nothing urgent on my pending list to do though. I still have a couple more places in the house I need to deep clean but dirt seems to wait for me. I’m not expecting company anytime soon so it will wait till I get to it.

Need to find someone that can update my website. My neighbor kid is going to be in KC probably until the end of the week and I would like to get it updated before then. Anyone know of anyone that can do that? I can send them the login information to the website but I have no idea what to do after that.

Still waiting on a couple things to come in before I can put together the appreciation bags for the Center staff. I do want to put a handwritten note in each of them and if I was smart I would start writing those out. It will take me a bit to get 80 of them written.

KU called Kathy today to schedule her an appointment at the Memory Clinic. It is for next week. I had thought next week would be the first week in 12 weeks that I didn’t have to go out of town but my streak will continue. The following week I have to go to Topeka. Unusual for me to go out of town for 14 straight weeks. We will probably make a day of it and have lunch, go to her appointment and then make a stop at Costco afterwards.

I go to Topeka on Friday this week for an appointment with the NP at my endocrinologist office. Now that it has been almost ten years since my cancer diagnosis I am wondering if they will cut back how often they need to see me. They prescribe my thyroid medication so am assuming I will still need to go annually. That will be better than every six months like I have been doing.

Have a bit of a headache and am exhausted this evening. Trusting I will be able to get some good sleep tonight. My body feels a bit out of whack but not sure why. We are coming out of eclipse season and I may not have fully recovered from that yet.

Grateful for a pan of lasagna in the freezer tonight, grateful to see my baby brother today, and grateful I can take a day of rest when my body asks me too.

This has been a quiet day at home. I slept in this morning so it has been a shorter day for me. Love when I get lots of sleep. It doesn’t happen often so appreciate it deeply when it does. I didn’t take a nap today so hoping I can go to bed at a more normal time and get back on schedule.

I cleaned my bedroom today. I’m afraid I disturbed a lot of dust bunnies that had settled in for a long summer’s nap. Dang the room was dusty and dirty. Nice to have a clean bookcase again. That has been on my to-do list for a bit. Grateful to cross it off the list.

Made contact with the person at the Center that distributes the treats I take in for the Detainees. She didn’t want to pour chocolate milk into cups so we are just doing donuts. I can pick them up on my way back into town after going to my doctor’s appointment Friday late morning. That will simplify my day. I called Dunkin’ and told them I would pick up the donuts between 1:00 and 2:00. That will give me time to stop for lunch in Topeka after my appointment and then get to Dunkin’ and pick them up. I will drop them off when I get back to Cottonwood Falls that afternoon and September treats will be taken care of. For some reason, she wants to plate them so I will need to pick up 100 small plates. She had 100 left over from her pizza. I also need to find 12 sugar free options. She sent me what she wants. Walmart in Emporia only has one package of them. I will have to check other stores in Emporia and possibly stop at Walmart in Topeka to find two more.

Nothing on my calendar until Friday so may have a quiet week. I would like to find someone that can update the website for Love in Action. My neighbor kid that does it is tied up in KC as his sister is sick and in the hospital. I have a feeling she will be there for a bit. They still haven’t been given a diagnosis and she is running fevers morning and evening.

I will read up on how to change text on the website and see if I can figure it out. I really don’t know what I am doing so don’t know if I will get brave enough to attempt it or not. Right now, I don’t have a clue where to even start.

Still in my peaceful valley of life tonight. Feels comforting to be back. Sometimes I get to stay for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for a month or more. I have yet to figure out what pulls me out nor how long I get to stay. I have learned to appreciate my time, regardless of how long it is

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful the bedroom is clean again, and grateful the dust bunnies were relocated.

Went to Emporia this morning. I needed a few groceries and a few more things for the gift bags I am fixing for the Staff at the Detention Center. I was going to go to Commercial St Diner for breakfast but there was a line and I decided not to wait.

Got what I needed at Walmart and came home. Put things away and then went out for lunch. Ate and then came home and took a nap. Sleep was hard to find again last night.

Worked on the list of things and sizes I will need of the things that I want to put in the Go Bags for the Deported Detainees if that project gets approved. I realized today that if every member of the Love in Action group would sponsor one Go Bag, we could provide 1,645 of them that easily. Many of the members have never donated so doubt it will be that easy but it did give me hope that fundraising will be the least of the issues.

Decided to only do two sizes for men and for women. I will do Medium and X-Large for both. A small person can wear medium and a large person can wear XL. It would simplify things for both the Center and for me. I will tie a light blue ribbon on the back pack that has Medium size clothes, and a dark blue ribbon on the XL for the men. I will do the same in pink for the ladies. Trying to stock all the items in four different sizes for both men and women seemed too complicated. I think I will do that for the transport Go Bags in the future too.

Still not sure this project is a go. I need to not get ahead of myself. Hoping I can find out this week if it is a go. They allow family members to send a bag of up to 40 pounds. Not sure why what we are doing would not be allowed but I don’t know all they have to do. Thinking if we can standardize the bags, logging them in would be easier for the staff.

If the project is a go, it will be a challenge to help people understand the limitations of what we can accept and put in the bags. I’m sure I will get lots of items that we won’t be able to use. That happened when I first started Love in Action and people were able to mail things to the Center. We had to stop that and go to the Amazon gift registry as the Center was getting way too many things they couldn’t accept. It becomes a problem to deal with those items. Some of the items were not even usable for anyone.

Several people have asked about second hand things. Not sure I want to open that door for the same reason. What someone thinks is nearly new I would consider trash sometimes. Then what do with all the donated things we can’t use becomes a problem.

Space to store things and space to stuff the bags will be one of the first problems I will need to solve. This house is not big enough for 100 backpacks and all the piles of things that will go in them. Have some ideas of where to go to ask for space if we get to that point.

Someone commented on the post I had made about the possibility of doing this project and asked how I knew the Detainees would actually receive the bags. I told her I trusted the staff at this Center but not sure about their next stop on their journey home. I told her it was kinda like checking your luggage on a flight. You have to step out and trust sometimes. I remember when I first started Love in Action I got that same concern. It took several months before we heard from someone on the inside that things were actually getting to them. It has been a lesson in trust all along.

Got two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away today. As usual when I get that done in one day I feel ridiculously proud of myself. Geez, that doesn’t seem like much but somedays I just can’t make myself do it.

I have a quiet week ahead of me next week. Friday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment and Friday is also donut day. I do need to nail down details of that day with the Center and with Dunkin’. I may change the day as I didn’t realize I had a doctor’s appointment in Topeka when I said I could make that day happen.

Had some tummy issues earlier today. I have been taking my meds more often since my doctor’s appointment last week. They do help but still not sure it is smart to train my body to need them. The Doctor told me not to suffer through it though. Haven’t had a poop day so haven’t used one of the prescriptions. Maybe taking the other one will make the poop days not happen?

Finally back in my peaceful valley. I had stepped out of it again and it is nice to be back in it. Something has shifted inside again this week. I never am sure what that is until something will come up and I will handle it differently than I would have in the past. If I stay conscious enough, I will be able to connect the dots. Feels like I have more space inside right now so must have released something. I no longer need a story about it and am grateful for the awareness I have – that is enough.

Grateful the laundry is completely done today, grateful I am one step closer to having the gift bags ready to assemble when the rest of the stuff I ordered comes in, and grateful for the peaceful valley I am in.

Last night’s lunar eclipse was amazing to watch. I went out many times to watch the moon change from full to looking like a pac man was eating it. It did turn red around 11:00. There was a beautiful moon bow around it for part of the time. I love events like this.

Didn’t sleep much last night. Woke up at 4:00 and finally gave up around 7:00. I did take two naps today but still do not feel rested, My tummy has felt a bit upset today.

Haven’t done much today. Got one more thing cleaned today and am going to call that my win of the day. I must have been running on empty as it is taking me a long time to refill completely. I don’t have anything this weekend so hoping my energy will come back if I give myself grace and rest for the rest of the weekend.

I don’t have anything on my calendar until next Friday the 4th. I have to go to Topeka for a Doctor’s appointment and that is the day the Center is handing out donuts. I still need to confirm the pickup time with the donut place. The lady that manages the Center part of those special events is sometimes slow in telling me what time she wants things there and then has a tendency to change it last minute.

I will go to the donut shop tomorrow and give them a time early in the day and then go from there. I will have to get them before 8:00 so I have time to get back to Cottonwood Falls, drop them off and then get on the highway to go to Topeka as I have a late morning appointment. Not sure if she is passing them out in the morning or afternoon.

I will ask her about gallons of chocolate milk and providing cups. Individual jugs are too expensive. I may have to go to several stores to get 15 gallons of chocolate milk though. Sometimes this gets more complicated than I think it should. I will have to buy the milk that morning as I don’t have storage space for 15 gallons of milk. If she can’t mess with gallons of chocolate milk, we will skip the milk. I can’t justify spending over $300 for 200 individual jugs of milk.

Hoping to hear from the Center about permission to provide Go Bags for the Deported Detainees next week. Also the piece of exercise equipment is overdue to arrive and should arrive next week. If we get permission, I will get busy spreading the word and finding suppliers that can provide the bulk items I will need. We need to be prepared to provide at least 100 bags a month, and they may need more. I will also have to find a storage and work space we can use to store the materials needed and assemble them into the backpacks.

Today I got a text from a person I met during the Senator race this summer. She wanted to know if I knew a Pastor Sanchez from Jackson County. I didn’t think I did so she put us in touch as he is working with a Detainee being held in Chase County right now. Turns out he is Hector Sanchez who I met 25 years ago when he worked in Emporia. He called and we had a nice conversation. Unfortunately, I am not able to help him as he was looking for an attorney for his friend that is detained. I don’t have a list of attorney’s for immigrants. Not sure it does any good to spend the money to get one as most are being turned down anyways.

Hector’s youngest daughter was born when I was working with Hector and his wife Sherri back when. His daughter is now a mother of two and is 23 years old. How time flies! It was good to reconnect with him. He and Sherri had gotten divorced just a year after Craig and I did. Both of them have remarried.

This little project keeps connecting me to people from my past. That is the second one that I have been able to connect with since I started this project. Funny how that works.

Feel like I am on hold right now. If the Go Bag project is a go I am going to get busy. If it doesn’t then life will go back to calm. We shall see what happens. I may not know for a bit too. I have another little project that has been pending for a bit too. I called yesterday to check on it and the lady didn’t call me back. Not sure what to read into that. I am also waiting on a check from someone. All three will work themselves out in their time – just not my time.

Grateful for another quiet day at home, grateful for more sleep today, and grateful to reconnect with Hector.

It has been a quiet day at home. I did go to the Dollar General and picked up a few groceries but other than that have stayed home. I did a few little chores around the house and worked some more on the month-end report for Love in Action.

I have felt restless and unsettled for most of the day. It was hard to sit quietly today which is unusual for me. Not sure what it has to tell me. I have worked hard to accept the restlessness and allow it to be. Most times it will pass and life goes on. At least today things have felt easy and not hard like yesterday.

No plans for tomorrow or the weekend. It has been nice to have a couple quiet days at home and look forward to a couple more. If I keep doing a couple little housekeeping things each day I can have the house cleaned by the end of the weekend.

Hard to believe it is almost the end of August. Time is flying by right now, even when I am not busy. It will be Christmas before I know it. The good news is that means my trip with Nicole to the Danube River Cruise will be here before I know it too.

Haven’t spent much time reading the news this week. Every time I attempt to do so I feel chaotic energy and like a vortex attempting to draw me in. I’m not grounded enough to go there today.

Part of what I am feeling has to do with the idea of being able to send Go Bags with the Detainees that are being deported. I struggle to believe the truth that our government sends them to a foreign country where they may or may not have been before and doesn’t give them anything other than what they have on their backs. How in the world are they to survive. Not sure a backpack with a change of clothes and a blanket solves the problem either.

I need to move into acceptance and accept the truth of what is going on and understand I can’t stop any of it. I really need to make sure what I am proposing to do will actually help the Detainees in some real way. It will be a lot of work which I am more than willing to do if I truly feel it will help them. Guess I am having second thoughts about how much it will help.

I tend to pull back into myself when in a situation like this. Once I have clear answers I can go out and make it happen.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for Love in Action that allows me to do something to help even when it feels like it isn’t enough, and grateful love will win in the end.

This has been one of those hard days where most everything I did or touched didn’t go easy. Even things that should have been easy were not.

I attempted to bag up the Go Bag clothes and put them in a two gallon zip lock bag. I struggled to get the stuff in the bag and not one of the bags sealed easily. I got an off brand of bags and man did I regret that. They really were hard to close. I got frustrated and had to stop for a bit and try again. I stuck with it but man it was hard.

I had to find a place to put the tote that I am storing the extra supplies in. I knocked over a stack of paper plates and cups while making room for the tote. One of those days!

I was working on writing the first draft of the month end report for Love in Action. I wrote a couple paragraphs and hit the return button and instead, all that I wrote disappeared. Things like that kept happening! One of those days!

I finally put myself in time-out and took a nap. Things have been a bit easier since I got up but I haven’t attempted to do much. Kinda waiting for this writing to disappear.

Got an email from the Captain of the Center. The person that is taking his place is on vacation and he wants her involved in the decision of what, if anything, they will allow me to do about making Go Bags for those that are being Deported. It is complicated and I don’t want to create problems on their side. However, it hurts my heart to think of the Detainees that are being deported and have no belongings to their name. We shall see what happens.

I decided to do donuts without chocolate milk for our September event. I am waiting to find out what time they want them there and then I will confirm the order with Dunkin’. For October we will do candy for Halloween. One of the Detainees wants some Mexican candy so I will do a combination for Mexican candy and chocolate candy. Wish I could put them in cute bags but I’m sure that wouldn’t be allowed. Need to decide what to do for Thanksgiving. I am going to check with some Mexican restaurants that cater and see how much a meal will be for 200 people. Probably more than I have funds for but maybe one of them will cut me a price break.

No plans for tomorrow. Hopefully it will be an easier day and I can get a few things done. I was afraid to dust today as the way my day was going I would have dropped and broken something. I’m sure tomorrow will be better. I have days like this occasionally, maybe to help remind me to be more grateful for the easy ones.

Mama told me there would be days like this! Man, it has been a hard one but luckily just little things were hard. I had no patience today and made it worse. I’m grateful I haven’t had a day like this for a while. I am also grateful I put myself in time-out to give myself a break from the hard.

Grateful this day is one of the rare ones, grateful the Go Bag stuff is bagged and stored, and grateful this day is almost over.

This has felt like a long day. I didn’t sleep much last night. Got up at 3:00 and was up for a couple of hours. Tried again at 6:00 and gave up at 8:00.

I left the house at 11:00 and headed to Emporia. First stop was at Walmart to pick up the new prescriptions. One of them is free if I only get 10 at a time. This Doctor prescribed 40 so I had to pay. WTF? Between the two I paid over $119 for drugs today.

I am discussing with the Center what to do for our September event and it was suggested we do a donut and chocolate milk. I stopped at Dunkin’ and priced 200 donuts. Yikes! With tax it will be almost $300. They don’t have the storage space to order an extra 200 chocolate milks. I priced Walmart and that will be another $300. $600 for a donut and a jug of chocolate milk for 200 people – not sure the value is there. We did pizza for 200 people for $651. Back to the drawing board.

I had other errands to run so didn’t get groceries. Next stop was at my hairdressers. Every Christmas I always purchase a bag of Peppermint bark chocolates for him. When I was in Costco yesterday they had them in stock with their Christmas goodies so picked up a bag for him. He won’t be in business at Christmas time so this will be the last time I get him a bag.

Met Michelle and Jason at Bobby D’s for lunch. Michelle needed a check to pay a bill and so she gave me cash and used a check. Always a good day when I get to see one or more of my kids. I had a phone conversation with Nicole this afternoon so hit the trifecta with my kids today. Love those type of days!

Came home and posted another idea of a way we can support the Detainees at the Center. I want to put together Go Bags for our friends that are being deported. Some have family that bring them the allowed suitcase of belongings but many do not. They get deported with whatever they were wearing when they were picked up. For many that is a T-shirt, shorts and sandals. Most have a phone with them but no chargers.

I have opened a hornet’s nest of sorts. I am going back and forth with the Center as to what might be allowed and the best way to do that. My supporters are 100% behind the idea and I have gotten all sorts of texts, PM’s and emails of suggestions of ideas. This will be a constant, huge project if we take it on. The Center deported over 1,500 people last year. We won’t need Go Bags for all of them but I estimated it will cost approximately $60 for one bag stocked with a charger and adapter, clean underwear and socks, a sweat shirt or hoodie and a pair of sweat pants, a blanket, and a toiletry kit. We shall see where this little idea goes.

Finding space for storage, time to assemble, raising thousands of dollars, etc. will all be issues that will need to be worked out. Hoping a local church or the food pantry might offer some space. What have I done this time? I also suggested in my post that churches across Kansas might be interested in gathering the supplies for the Go Bags.

It scares me a bit about people improvising and substituting or adding things not approved. I will have to be very clear about what can and cannot be put in them.

I will have to prioritize our projects and funding. Stamps and cards will remain our number one priority. Recreational equipment second, special events third and Go Bags for both the released Detainees and the deported fourth. We may be joining the big leagues and may need to fund raise full time in order to do all of the projects fully.

I didn’t stop for groceries after lunch. I will go back later this week and get what I need. I didn’t have anything urgent on the list and I have nothing else on my calendar until the end of next week so will need an excuse to go to town later this week.

I took a nap again this afternoon. I am afraid I am starting a cycle with napping most days. We shall see where this leads. Sure wish there was a magic pill to make sleep happen when I want it to and not randomly happening on its schedule.

No plans the rest of the week. Looking forward to some quiet space at home. Lots to think about and plan and dream about.

The supplies for the gift bags for the staff at the Center are starting to arrive so will need to put together a work day soon and get those assembled and delivered. Still need to get a few more things to finish them up. The bags were a bit bigger than I expected so need to find some fillers so the bags won’t look so empty.

I am amazed at all the offers of support for the Go Bags for the deported Detainees. People are so incredibly generous when given a need they can understand. We shall see what happens.

Grateful to have spent time with all three of my kids today, grateful for all the haircuts I got from my hairdresser before he retired, and grateful for the overwhelming support of the idea of Go Bags for the deported Detainees.

I left for my doctor’s appointment around noon. Got there early but they called me back early. The nurse did my vitals and then I waited for almost 30 minutes.

The PA I saw seemed to know her stuff. I didn’t get a diagnosis though, just more pills to treat symptoms. Because the two things I complained about only happen sporadically, I guess it is hard to diagnose? One of them creates a quality of life issue and the other I can proceed as normal but can’t eat or drink for 8 – 10 hours. We shall see if the medication helps. If not, I will push for something else.

We did have a nice conversation about traveling. She had gone to New Zealand and Italy and we talked about that. She was a bit loud but easy to talk to.

After I left I went to Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Costco. Costco didn’t have one of the items I went for but I managed to find other things I didn’t know I needed. Came home after that. It was an easy trip to and from although the Turnpike has about four construction zones to go through.

I filled up with gas at Costco but I should have filled up in Emporia. I would have saved $0.20 a gallon. Not sure why but Emporia always seems to have the cheapest gas around.

I noticed Costco now carries Coke in plastic bottles at a much cheaper price than I can get them at Walmart. If we do a bottle of Coke again for the Detainees, it might be worth a drive to Wichita to buy them there.

Took a nap when I got home as I felt exhausted. I may not sleep tonight but even without a nap I may not sleep. I take sleep whenever it finds me.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia and pick up the prescriptions. Am going to have lunch with Michelle. She has something she needs me to do for her and since I have to go to town we might as well make a lunch out of it. Costco had the treat I always buy for my hairdresser as a Christmas present so I will take that to him while I am in town since he won’t be cutting hair at Christmas time.

I might stop and get a few groceries. I can’t think of too many things I need so may not bother with the couple things I need. By the end of the week, I might need an excuse to get out of the house as I have nothing on my calendar for the next ten days or so.

It was a bit frustrating at the doctor’s office. I had anticipated that they wouldn’t be able to tell me what was wrong and have a definite plan of treatment. My body didn’t read the rule book and tends to present in weird ways that stump the docs. I’m not always sure more pills solve anything, especially when they don’t know what is wrong. Sure, it might make me feel better for a moment but does it really fix the real problem?

Maybe I need to be grateful there is nothing seriously wrong, just some very challenging and annoying symptoms. I will work to get to that space. Accept what is! Is that my new mantra?

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful for a nap today, and grateful I get to have lunch with Michelle tomorrow.

I woke up to the sound of something crashing. I yelled for Kathy to make sure she hadn’t fallen. She hadn’t. I went in my bathroom the thing holding up my soap dispenser thingy had fallen off the wall of the shower. Luckily, none of the dispensers broke. I texted Phil and he is going to come over and screw it to the wall. It was just glued when it was put up two years ago.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to pick up two prescriptions I had ready. Kathy also had one so I got her prescription too.

It sprinkled off and on both to and from Emporia. It never did rain much. It was in the lower 80’s today which was a nice break from the heat.

I got six thank you notes written. One was a PM and the others I put in the mail box. Good to have those caught up.

Tomorrow I have to be at a doctor’s appointment in Wichita at 1:15. I will probably go early and have lunch before. I will stop at Costco afterwards. Trusting they can find some answers for my tummy issues.

The rest of the week is empty space so far. I do have some little things around the house that I need to take care. Maybe a week of empty space will allow me to get those things taken care of.

I do need to finalize what we are doing at the Center for our September event. The Center usually needs two weeks notice if they need to order something for the event. One of the Detainees asked for donuts but not sure how we would handle that for the diabetics. I think they also get them occasionally already. Maybe the Sergeant that I work with has some ideas too.

This little project of Love in Action keeps me on my toes sometimes. I don’t think it takes much of my time but sometimes it feels like it takes over. After I get the September event planned, things should quiet down for a bit.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley. Things feel easy when I am in this valley. I never know how long it will last and I will get to stay here. I have learned to cherish every moment that it lasts.

Grateful for Phil and all he can do, grateful the thank you notes are done, and grateful for this peaceful valley.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day where I didn’t do much. I took a nap this afternoon and probably slept too long but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Three more people donated to the Facebook Fundraiser so I met my goal of raising $800. I ended up not spending that much as the pizza was on sale. I am deeply humbled by all the donations. Others also donated in other ways so we are set with cash for right now. Next week I need to firm up plans for our September special event and also start working on a budget for the rest of the year. Depending on what we decide to do, we may not need a fall fundraiser.

I was up during the night for a couple of hours and took the chance to respond to all the birthday greetings. I have a few more that came in today to respond to. So many people took a moment out of their busy day to send greetings. I appreciated each one of them.

No plans for tomorrow. I may go to Emporia to pick up something but haven’t decided yet. I will see how I feel in the morning. Somedays I can get out of the house and some days I can’t. I have to go to Wichita Monday so need to reserve energy for that.

Luckily the rest of the week is empty space. Maybe one of these days I will get some cleaning done. It is almost to the point of driving me crazy which means I need to get some things cleaned up.

Feel like I am back in my peaceful valley today. I stepped out of it for a bit but it feels good to be back. I have yet to figure out what draws me out and what draws me back. Recognizing where I am helps though. I have learned to be careful about what conclusions I come to when I am out of bounds. My intuition isn’t as sharp and it is harder to think things through.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful to be back in my peaceful valley of life, and grateful for a long afternoon nap.

This has been a day full of God winks or glimmers as some people call them. Coincidences I can’t explain!

Two people added to the Birthday Fundraiser on the Love in Action Facebook page today. The total that people contributed to the cost of the pizza for the Detainees through the Facebook post alone was $656. The pizza cost $651. Mind blow number one for the day.

The pizza was on sale at $12 a pizza instead of the normal $15. That saved me over $150 as I ordered 50 pizzas. A God wink?

Other people also send funds using other methods. I think I have enough cash on hand to fund most of our fall and winter special events at the Detention Center depending on what we choose to do.

I got a call from the Detention Center. Someone had mailed a donation for Love in Action to the Detention Center and put Attn: Kay on the envelope. I went and picked that check up and it was for $500! Mind blow number two. For it to have arrived on my birthday – what a gift.

Jason invited me to lunch so Kathy and I drove in. When I got to the restaurant to meet him, Michelle was there too. Another glimmer!

My phone and iPad have been pinging all day with all the notes and texts people have sent wishing me a happy birthday. I am loved and I so appreciate all the ways people have showed it today.

Kathy and I stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home and picked up a DQ birthday cake. We each enjoyed a piece of it this afternoon. I kinda like turning 73! Lots of love, attention and special treats.

My friends from California that I met while I was walking the Camino eleven years ago FaceTime with me today. It is always a special day when they call and we catch up with each other. Carolyn is undergoing treatment for lung cancer. Tom is turning 90 in September.

They reminded me that eleven years ago today I flew to Paris to begin my Camino de Santiago adventure. Absolutely the best travel experience I have done so far. I am so grateful for all the lessons the Camino had to teach me. I still practice what I learned most everyday.

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a doctor’s appointment. I will enjoy lunch at Chipotle while I am there and will stop at Costco and restock. Trusting the doctor will have some solutions to my tummy issues.

The rest of next week is empty space. I do need to figure out what we are doing at the Center for Labor Day and get whatever we are doing ordered. The person that I coordinate all this with at the Center has been at a conference all week and just got back today. Hoping I can catch up with her next week and get our plans made for all the special events for the rest of the year.

Sitting with a heart full of love this evening. It was a perfect birthday filled with special memories and special people and special treats.

Grateful for all the ways people loved on me today, grateful for lunch with two of my kids, and grateful the Detainees are enjoying a pizza treat tonight.

This has been another quiet day. I did go to Emporia this afternoon to pick up the things I couldn’t make myself get yesterday..

I spent some time this morning sorting the clothes for the released detainees. I need some 2 gallon zip lock bags to put each set in so they stay organized. I ordered some and they will be here Tuesday. I figured out what I still needed and updated the gift registry. I had missed a couple of things when I created it the first time.

I got a tote today to store everything in. The backpacks I ordered are perfect and everything fits with room to spare. I picked up a box of Tampons today and will add a couple to each of the women’s toiletry bags.

Got a request from a detainee for garlic sauce with the pizza for tomorrow. Two problems – cost and availability. Each packet costs $0.69 each and I would need 200 of them which is $150 with tax. The place I am ordering the pizza from, doesn’t have 200 on hand. I will consider adding it for next time but not sure the value is there for the cost. Dang, this gets complicated sometimes.

Have washed and dried the sheets from my bed but haven’t gotten it made yet. Best get that done so I don’t forget and go to bed without getting it done. I have done that before and it is frustrating.

Had a great conversation with Nicole today. We went deep today which we do occasionally. Love those types of conversations. She is ordering foreign money for our trip in November for us. I could probably figure out how to do that but it is easier to let her do it. We are going to six different countries and I think need four different currencies. Wonder how I will keep all that straight? Good thing I have Nicole with me.

Nicole said the Danube River is running very low right now and most of the cruises are having to bus it for part or even most of the cruise. We shall see what happens for us. I dislike long bus rides but will do what we have to do to get from Point A to Point B. Maybe they will get their fall rains and the river will be up when we go in November.

No plans for tomorrow except to go pay for the pizza. They are having a buy one get 50% on the second one. That will save me 25% on the cost which is a nice bonus. 50 pizzas get expensive!

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have to go to Wichita for a follow up visit with the office that did my colonoscopy. Trusting they will have some answers for me and a solution to my tummy issues. Since I will be in Wichita I will get to have lunch at Chipotle and then stop at Costco and pick up a few things.

Sitting in a quiet mind space today. One of those days where I can’t hold on to a thought very long. I feel more like an observer of my life than a participant.

Grateful for the phone call with Nicole today, grateful the Go Bag project is almost organized, and grateful for this slow, quiet time in my life.

I went to Emporia this morning. Stopped and had breakfast at Commercial St Diner. My favorite waitress was working and I got to sit at one of her tables. She always remembers what I eat and drink.

After breakfast I went to the post office and mailed a package to my Aunt Marylyn. She called me last night and told me my cousin had seen the article about Love in Action in the paper Sunday. She wanted to hear about it.

I took the car through the car wash after I left the post office and then went to Walmart to pick up my prescriptions. I had a couple other things on my list but wasn’t in the mood to get them. Nothing was urgent so I came home.

Took a nap after I came home as I was exhausted. Not sure why but I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Haven’t done much this afternoon and evening. I need to sort and pack up the donated goods for the go bags for Love in Action but that hasn’t felt urgent enough to do today. Hopefully I will get that done tomorrow as I don’t have anything else on my calendar.

Last night when I was opening all the packages that have arrived and getting them ready to wash I found a small package. I hadn’t remembered ordering anything that small. When I opened it I discovered some plastic piercing shafts for a penis. Kathy and I laughed big over that! Yes, we had to look up pictures on how they are used. Yuck!

They definitely pulled the wrong item. When I sort things out tomorrow I will see if I can figure out what I didn’t get that I should have. This makes me wonder if the Captain has ever gotten something quite unusual from one of my donors. I’ll have to warn him about what happened to me.

Nothing on my calendar until next Monday when I have a follow up appointment in Wichita with the Doctor that did the colonoscopy. I trust they can come up with something that will help solve my tummy issues.

I plan on going to Wichita early and having lunch and doing some shopping at Costco before my appointment. I have started a short list of things I need from Costco. It is one of the few stores I don’t mind shopping at.

I trust I will wake up feeling rested tomorrow and have some energy to do a few things around here. I feel like I have been running on low for a bit and am having trouble refilling completely. The world chaos and energy is high and I need to turn it off and focus on my own energy for a couple of days.

Grateful for the big laugh last night when I opened the small package, grateful for a good nap today, and grateful for breakfast with my favorite waitress this morning.

This has been a mostly, stay-at-home day. I did run to the post office and the bank but that didn’t take long. I did get dressed to run the errand though. If the post office had been drive-thru I probably wouldn’t have bothered dressing. TMI!

Found out the lady at the post office is being an angel and doing an act of kindness for some of the Detainees. I am finding angels everywhere I go these days. I think those are God winks or some people call them glimmers. I bet more people than not are finding quiet ways to share kindness these days.

Got two deliveries from UPS and FedEx today. Christmas in August is happening at my house! Most of the supplies to build the Go Bags are here. I need to unwrap everything and get the clothing washed up. I think I found a tote to store everything in. I will put together two backpacks except for the clothing and when I have a transport all I will have to do is grab the proper size clothing and throw in some snacks and water bottles and off I can go. I can’t wait to use the first one and see what the reaction is.

I ordered a few things so I can put together some appreciation bags for the staff at the Detention Center. Some of the things I ordered won’t be in for a bit so I won’t be able to gift them until mid September or so. I will schedule a workday and see if I can get some volunteers to come help me put them together. I think it is important to thank the people that make Love in Action happen within the Center. Without their work and help, this program wouldn’t happen.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got up and then went back to bed around 9:00. I got four texts within 60 minutes that woke me up each time. I gave up napping after a bit. Maybe I can go to bed tonight and sleep all night.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia and pick up some prescriptions that are ready. My doctor’s office changed how you request refills. Not sure I like the new way but guess they didn’t ask my opinion. It took several days to get the refills. Good thing I try to stay two weeks ahead of what I need.

I sent a note to my website designer about some changes that need to happen with the website. When I had him change to the July month end report instead of the June report I forgot to tell him to change out the Updates at a Glance box. I need to remember to tell him what to say in that each month when he adds the new month’s end report. I also asked him to create some links to the Facebook page for the stories of the transports I do. Maybe I need to add the full stories on the website too. I will continue to play with the site and see what fits. I have a tendency to add too much and then I am not sure people read it all.

The place where I am getting the pizza for Friday called. They wanted to divide it into two different days and orders like we did last time. I had them talk to the person that has to handle all that within the Center and let them sort it out. I don’t think it was going to work for the Center for them to divide the order. I had asked them when I ordered it if they could do it all on the same day and they said yes. They must have had second thoughts. I don’t know how they keep them all hot if we pick up 50 pizzas at once. Figured they had some tricks they could use. I’m sure they don’t deal with that big of an order very often.

It seems like most things I attempt to do has consequences that cause problems for someone that I did not anticipate. Grateful most of the time we can work through them and make things work. I think it is good that I don’t always know what the consequences are going to be for all involved or I might not have the courage to do what I do.

I have greatly enjoyed a quiet day at home. I got some little things taken care of and my desk cleaned off. Not sure I discovered what I felt like I was behind on but that feeling is gone tonight. I feel more grounded than I have for a bit. My soul needs lots of quiet space to reset and ground. Grateful I have most of this week to continue to reset.

Grateful for all the gift registry things that came in today, grateful to discover an unexpected kindness someone is doing for the Detainees, and grateful for my website designer.

I had a busy couple of hours in Emporia. I picked up Ellexia from one of her friend’s house that lives in the country. I stopped and filled the car up with gas on our way into town. Then I took the car through the car wash.

I had a haircut at 11:00. We got there a bit early and he was able to take me right in. We got done around 11:20. This was my last haircut from this hairdresser as he is retiring in three weeks. Darn I hate the thought of breaking in a new one.

Then Ellexia and I went and had a pedicure. I had one toe that still had polish on from the last one we did earlier in the summer. It is nice to have all ten toes painted again. I love when the lady rubs my calves – she could do that for the whole thing as far as I am concerned.

After our pedicure we went to Bobby D’s and Jason joined us for lunch. After lunch I took Ellexia home and then I came home. I feel like I got a lot done during this trip to town.

The UPS guy came with three packages that others had ordered for Love in Action. It will feel like Christmas here for the next couple of days as the packages get delivered. I will enjoy getting all the things washed up and put into tubs or else into a backpack. What a delight it will be to present a full backpack to a released detainee the next time I do a transport.

I only ordered one each of the different sizes of clothing I needed and only two backpacks. I will reorder whenever I use one to give to a released detainee. I have very limited storage space and I don’t transfer enough released detainees to keep lots on hand all the time.

I have nothing on my calendar for the next three days. I am so looking forward to the empty space. For some reason lately, I have been feeling very tired and needing lots of sleep when I can find it. I will allow myself to sleep as much as I possibly can during the next three days and see if I can get caught up. I haven’t felt fully rested for a long time.

I do need to take a deposit to the bank tomorrow. I had meant to do that today and forgot. Good thing the bank is only six blocks from my house. That won’t take long!

I still feel like I am behind on something and have no idea what. Maybe whatever it is will be dropped back into my memory banks this week and I can take care of it. Or maybe it is not even true that I am behind on something. My brain does funny things to me sometimes.

Friday is my birthday and pizza day at the Detention Center. I wish I could be with the Detainees as they get their surprise pizza party. I trust they will enjoy it as that is a treat they don’t ever get while being detained.

I want to start working on a staff appreciation gift for the staff at the Detention Center. I think I know what I want to do but it has a lot of pieces to it and I will need to price everything out. They have a staff of 75 so it adds up quickly when you do that many of anything. I don’t have a deadline to have them ready – I can take them up whenever. I think it is important to thank the staff that help make Love in Action happen and all the staff have a part to play in it through the year.

The Sergeant that handles the cards and I are brainstorming to come up with ideas for the rest of the year. I need to put together a budget and see how much what we want to do will cost and then fundraise if needed to make it happen. People are so incredibly generous when I present an idea and request funds. I balance that with over asking though as I don’t want to burn people out with me asking for things all the time.

I am attempting to find my peaceful valley again and sit in silence and quiet for a bit. Life got busy on me again and I lost my place. Trusting this week will allow me to slow way down again and sit in silence and quiet. The world noise feels loud in my ears and heart and I need to quiet that down. So much going on that I have no control over and nothing I can do about it. I need to find the quiet space where what I can do something about is front and center in my heart.

Grateful to spend time with Ellexia today, grateful for lunch with Jason, and grateful for pretty toes again.

It has been a long day. I woke up later than I wanted to. I quickly took a shower, got dressed and loaded up the beef from my freezer to take to Nicole.

I headed to KC at 11:00 and met Nicole and Geoff for lunch at a Chipotle that is close to their house. We had a nice lunch and then went to their house to unload the beef.

I stayed and visited a bit more with them and then around 2:15 headed south. I went to a memorial service for the daughter of a good friend. The service was beautiful. The preacher was outstanding. I gave my friends a long hug, visited with another friend that was there for a short bit, and then headed for the hills.

I got home around 5:30 so it was a quick trip up and back. Traffic was light and I didn’t get slowed down either way very often.

I sure could take a nap about now. I may try to stay awake and go to bed early. I may fall asleep in my chair. We shall see what happens!

A donor gave a generous donation to the pizza fundraiser today. I love that we are still attracting new donors. I wish I had their home address so I could send a proper thank you note. Unfortunately I am lucky to get email addresses. Some of the platforms don’t even provide that.

Tomorrow I have a haircut at 11:00. Ellexia and I might go have pedicures after that and then meet Jason for lunch. She wasn’t sure if she was free or not. Her school starts Wednesday so my weekly lunches with her is about over. Jason isn’t free until 12:30 so I may go have a pedicure alone if Ellexia can’t join me.

I have some stamps I need to take up to the Detention Center tomorrow on my way out of town for my haircut. It was nice to have a big pile of donated stamps on hand and not have to write a check to buy some at the post office.

After tomorrow my calendar is free for the rest of the week. It will be good to have some down time. I feel like I am behind but not sure what I am behind on. I need to clean my desk up and see what is hiding in plain sight that I need to take care of.

Attending the service of a 45 year-old puts life in perspective. She left behind her 14 and 20 year old daughters. If that doesn’t make one feel grateful for the life they have had, I don’t know what would. My oldest daughter is 45 and her kids are 16 and 20 years old. There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Grateful for time with Nicole and Geoff today, Grateful for hugs from dear friends, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

I still have my pajamas on if that tells what I did today. Absolutely nothing! I got three different sleeps last night and was up for about two hours in between sleeps. Sure makes for a long night when that happens.

The third sleep was the longest and it was between 7:00 this morning and 11:00. The day goes by quickly when you get up that late. I was up from 4:00 – 7:00.

Got a note from the Sergeant that does the card program for Love in Action. She is running low on some supplies. I have lots of stamps on hand but she needed some other things. I added some things to the Amazon Gift Registry and within two hours they were all taken care of. I continue to be amazed at the generosity of the donors to Love in Action.

I also had a discussion with her about what we might do for the holidays. I appreciate her thinking of this in advance as I need to put together a budget and see how much money I need to raise. I suggested possibly doing a piece of fresh fruit – an apple, an orange or a banana. I don’t think they ever get a whole piece of fresh fruit. I also asked about us catering a Mexican meal for all. I will see if either of those get approved. We are so limited as to what we can do. All I can do is ask and I get told no often.

Our piece of exercise equipment should be in soon. They said 10 – 12 weeks and it has been 10 weeks. I will be glad when I get our half paid so I know for sure how much I have to pay and it is reflected in how much cash we have on hand. Between the $5,000 – $6,000 for the exercise equipment and the $800 – $1,000 for the pizza it looks like we have a lot more cash available than we really do.

I really appreciated all the stamps that were sent in as part of the stamp drive so I didn’t have to spend several hundred dollars to buy more stamps.

Tomorrow I am going to KC. I will go to Nicole’s house and drop off the meat and then I am going to a funeral in Olathe. I was looking at my calendar earlier and realized that over the last six weeks I have made a trip each week to either Topeka, Wichita or KC every week and for two weeks I made two trips in one week. That is a bit unusual for me. I go to Wichita on the 24th and then the next week I go to Topeka for a Doctor’s appointment and the week after that I go back to Topeka for a different doctor’s appointment. Geez, no wonder it feels like I haven’t had lots of empty space lately. Hpefully I am coming to the end of all of these out-of-town runs.

It will be fun to see Nicole and Geoff for a short bit tomorrow. I have a haircut on Monday and then my calendar is empty for the rest of the week. Wonder if it will stay that way? The last couple of weeks have been full of empty space that somehow got taken up.

It was nice to take a quiet day today and not even attempt to get anything done. I look around and see all sorts of things that need taken care of but today I said not today. I will get to them sooner or later. The dusting and cleaning can wait for another day.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful another wish list has been fulfilled quickly, and grateful I got a third sleep this morning.

I met the Captain of the Detention Center at The Grand for lunch today. We got a chance to visit and he shared his Yellowstone vacation with me. That is one place in the US that is still on my bucket list.

I found out who his replacement is going to be but I don’t know if it has been announced or not so I won’t say who it is. I was pleased with their selection.

The Captain will be around until mid September but I wanted to catch him before. Time gets away from me and I didn’t want to miss the chance to thank him for all he has done to make Love in Action possible. Without his help and grace, we would not exist.

I came home and did a few things at home and then I drove to Emporia and picked up a grocery order. I had ordered on-line a couple weeks ago and had remembered how much easier it is. I did have to wait about 15 minutes for them to bring the order to me today but it still was much easier than going in the store.

Came home and put things away. I had forgotten I have Nicole’s beef in my freezer and my freezer is full. I had ordered some frozen stuff so I had to get creative to find places for it all but I did it.

No plans for tomorrow. Sunday I am taking Nicole’s beef to her and then I am going to a memorial service for the daughter of a good friend. Another friend is also going so I will get to see her there too as a bonus.

Monday I have my last haircut with my hairdresser. The rest of the week is empty space. I am ready for that!

Got the results of my colonoscopy back and all is well. They didn’t find anything of any significance. I do have one small internal hemorrhoid which probably explains the bleeding I had back in February. I am still hoping they can identify why I have tummy issues so often and come up with a solution. Guess it is good to rule out the bad stuff and go from there. I go August 24 to meet with them and find out what they have to say.

It is fun to see all the back-to-school pictures of kids from my friends across the country. Man, these kids grow up fast. I tend to lock them in my head as the age they were the last time I saw them. It has been awhile in some cases.. I was always excited as a parent when school started back up.

Still feeling a bit ungrounded today but better than I was yesterday. I watched a video a man I respect and listen to made and I think it rocked me a bit. I don’t do well when I anticipate what might happen to our country in the future. We have dug a huge hole for ourselves and the solution is out of my understanding. I have to keep coming back to right here, right now, all is well and believe that a miracle will happen and the ship will right itself. I attempt to stay focused on my little project and let the rest go. I can’t change it and I do more good staying above neutral and doing what I can do.

Grateful the cupboards are restocked, grateful for the Captain and all he has done to allow Love in Action do what it does, and grateful for the replacement that will be promoted soon.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day complete with a nap. I feel like I haven’t had one of these for a bit and enjoyed it. I did manage to get two loads of laundry washed, folded and put away but that is about all I got done.

I have felt achy and bone tired today. Not sure what that is from but maybe my body was reminding me to take a day of rest. I never did feel like I woke all the way up today.

I was expecting someone to come over and do something for me today but so far they haven’t made it over. Maybe they will come another day.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date with a friend. Other than that, nothing is on my calendar again. I don’t have anything on Saturday either. I do need to get some groceries one of these days. I might place a Walmart order for late tomorrow afternoon and drive in and get them. I had forgotten how much easier that is until I did that a couple weeks ago.

My ear is still crackling at times. I forgot to ask the doctor to look in it yesterday. It isn’t quite as bad today so maybe it will go away on its own.

I only got one thank you note written today. I have about six more to do. I have found I have to be in the right mood to write those as words can be hard to find sometimes. I haven’t felt very grounded today so my intuition is a bit off today.

I need to figure out what Love in Action is doing for the September special event and get arrangements made. Some of the events the Center has to order the supplies and they need a two week lead time. Trying to decide what to do – maybe Labor Day? After that will be Halloween which seems to have lots of options. Thanksgiving and Christmas won’t be far behind now. I need to put together a budget and see if I need to raise funds. I will be glad when the piece of exercise equipment gets here and I pay for our portion of it so I know who much it will be for sure.

I will send some notes to our Pen Pals and ask them for ideas of what they would like. I know one of them wants a Mexican feast but not sure I can get that approved. It would be costly to provide that for over 200 people. Maybe tacos would be doable though. I hate to ask the staff to have to cook things though. Bringing food in from the outside is discouraged.

I will be gone the first two weeks of November so whatever I do for Thanksgiving for the Center will need to be planned well in advance. I may have to do a fundraiser so need to get a budget and plans together so I can get that started if needed.

I spent some depressing time reading about the current policy on immigration and what is being pushed. It is becoming almost impossible to find ways for those that are not already completely through the system to finish up what they need to do and get to stay. Even those that have done everything correctly are being deported. Timelines for VISA’s are being push out four to six years and no guarantees are being offered that they get to stay for the process. I still can’t understand what the fear is behind all of this.

I am amazed that there are any transports to do as the vast majority of people that get picked up are not allowed out. They either have to stay detained and face years before they can be released or they get deported. Even those that have attorneys don’t fare very well.

One of those days where I had to stop and allow myself to feel all the feels of the hurt in the world. The national debt is staggering and we will all someday soon have to face the consequences of that. I got my property tax assessment today and because I added a room and bathroom, my taxes are going up over 30%. Yikes! How do seniors that are on a very fixed income do this?

And this too shall pass and all is well, and all will be well. These are all symptoms of bigger issues. Greed over enough for all.

My mind is rambling today. Random thoughts and scattered threads going through my brain. Make it make sense!

Grateful for a restful, quiet day, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful all is well.

I was in Emporia at 9:00 for my doctor’s appointment. I thought it was my annual physical as when I scheduled it I asked them when I had my last year’s physical as I know you have to have them at least one year apart.

They had me down for a medication check. Now I get to go back and do a physical. What a joke and waste! I have been cranky about it most of the day. I was eight days too early for this visit to count as my physical.

He had received a preliminary report about my colonoscopy from the Doctor in Wichita. Don’t think they found anything of importance but the biopsy report wasn’t back yet. Dang, I wonder if that means they can’t identify what is wrong with me.

He did check my TSH level and it was 1.6. Just a tad low but not bad considering I have had two procedures the last couple of weeks.

After my very short appointment I went and picked Ellexia up and we went to Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. I was on my way to take her back home afterwards and told her I was going to stop and fill the car up with gas and take the car through the car wash and then head home. She wanted to go through the car wash with me. We did that and then I took her home. I stopped and filled the car up with gas after I dropped off Ellexia and came home.

I was cranky so I put myself in time-out and went back to bed. I managed to sleep another couple of hours.

When I got up I decided to create a new Amazon Gift Registry and put on it items to create a Go Bag for the released Detainees. I requested two backpacks, two blankets, 1 pair of sweat pants and 1 sweat shirt in various sizes, and a package of socks for women and a package of socks for men. I posted it and within five minutes every item was ordered.

Someone reminded me I forgot a travel toiletry set so I requested two for women and two for men and within two minutes those were taken care of.

I want to get some underwear to add to them to but I couldn’t find single pair of underwear on Amazon. I will look again and if I can’t find them, I will look in a store for single purchases. I know they sell women’s that way but not sure about men’s. I have very limited storage and don’t want lots of things to store. I will have to get several different sizes for both men and women so could end up with 20 plus pairs on hand if I order the packages of three or five or however they sell it.

Someone else wants me to add chapstick but you can’t get only one or two tubes of it on Amazon. They sell packages of four or six or 12. I am afraid it will go bad by the time I would use it up. Next time I go to town I will buy two single tubes of it and add it to the toiletry kits.

People are so incredibly generous. I think some were upset they didn’t get a chance to help out. I will see how big the backpacks are and what fits and if I have more room, I will add some more things.

It will be fun when it all comes in. I will fill one backpack for a man and one for a women and then when I get a call and find out the size of the person will add the sweat pants and sweat shirt at the last minute. I have charges and adaptors at home already. I also will add in a few snacks and two bottles of water.

The lady I spoke to yesterday that works with the transportation in Springfield, MO gave me this idea. She has personally purchased these items for the ones she transported. I suggested to her she does an Amazon gift registry and see if the donors will send her what she needs. Love how we can share ideas and help each other out.

I got caught up on most of the thank you notes. I still have some to hand write. I have to send emails to those that donate via VENMO as I don’t have their mailing address.

I got 80 stamps in the mail today as a donation. Asking for stamps turned out to be a good thing as I won’t have to buy stamps for six months now. I had purchased 1000 of them before the price went up and I have received over 1000 of them through the stamp drive. That will save my budget for the Pen Pal program, website expenses, and the special events that we do monthly for the Detainees.

So looking forward to the next couple of days of empty space. My soul and body needs that! I feel like my mind, body and spirit are not in sync with myself and I need to slow down and let all parts of me be put back together again.

Next week I have a haircut on Monday and then all empty space the rest of the week. Looking forward to that!

Sitting in gratitude with how quickly the new gift registry got taken care of. People are so generous and looking for ways to help. Now a part of them will go with each released Detainee. Wished we had lots of them to celebrate but we will honor each lucky one that we get to help.

Grateful my TSH was not too low, grateful for time with Ellexia after a disappointing doctor’s appointment, and grateful for the generosity of strangers filling the gift registry requests.

No sleep at all last night. I kept laying in bed for an hour, get up for an hour, rinse and repeat all night long. Not sure what was going on but sleep was not to be found.

Kathy and I met some friends in Strong City and then we drove to Council Grove and picked up another friend. Drove to Manhattan and had lunch. Another friend joined us for lunch.

We had a nice, long lunch with lots of conversation. It was a delight for all. After lunch we walked downtown and stopped in a couple of stores. I found some greeting cards I liked and purchased. Came home after that.

I haven’t done much since I got home. I did manage to stay awake so hoping I will be able to crash soon and get lots of sleep tonight.

Kathy has had a rash under her chin for a day or two. This afternoon it was swelling a bit so she went to Urgent Care. She has shingles. They gave her three prescriptions so hoping she will get some relief soon. I had shingles a while ago and they are not fun.

A lady that works as a volunteer transporter with a detention center in Springfield, MO called me today and we visited for over an hour. She shared how they handle their transportation team and how the facility works. I shared what I am doing. I picked up a few good ideas that I may implement. It is so hard to know what the demand is going to be for the future. I have only transported four released ICE Detainees and the father of another one. I think I will continue as we are doing unless the demand picks up.

It is interesting how the different facilities operate and what volunteers are allowed to do. I have a much better working relationship with the staff of my center than they have. Their facility is twice the size though. They do much more family contact than I do. I am able to do more for the Detainees inside the facility than they are able to do. Grateful for whatever we are able to do.

Tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia at 9:00. Afterwards Ellexia and I are going out for breakfast/brunch. After that I am hoping I can come home and stay home for a few days. I am missing my quiet, stay-at-home days this week.

I do need to find someone to come over and fix a router problem I am having with the new website. I need to change some settings on my computer and router and I have never done that before. I would love to find someone that understands this stuff come over and do it for/with me. I got the name of someone that might help today and I will contact them tomorrow afternoon and see if they will come over.

I called and made a final appointment to get my haircut with my current hairdresser before he retires the first week of September. Dang, I will have to train someone new to cut my hair. Maybe I will grow it out and quit cutting it. Not very likely that will happen though. Long hair drives me crazy.

I need to get caught up on writing thank you notes for Love in Action. I think I have five or six to write. Maybe I can get that done tomorrow afternoon. I’m too tired to attempt it tonight.

One of the ladies at the lunch today, took the patches a friend had made and brought to the Love in Action birthday party and pasted them on card stock and turned them into a birthday card. How very creative. I will send pictures to the maker of the patches as I think she will like to see those. Another idea for her on what to do with the patches. Brilliant!

Feeling like I am running behind today. Two days in a row of not tending to the little tasks that I normally do in a day. Maybe I can catch up Thursday when I will finally have a stay-at-home day.

Grateful for a gathering of my best friends today, grateful for a long conversation with another volunteer doing similar work, and grateful for all the sleep I am going to get tonight.

This has been a busy and long day. I went to Olpe this morning to pick up the beef. I backed into the loading dock and then went in. An older man yelled at me to move my car as he was picking up his meat. OK dude, chill.

I moved my car and went in and paid for the processing then backed my car up to get loaded. Came home and sorted the beef into three equal piles.

My neighbor came over with a wagon and got her share. A friend showed up a bit later to get her share. I put the other third in my freezer and will deliver it to Nicole later.

I hadn’t sat down for long when the Detention Center called and said they had a person that needed transported. I quickly went to the gas station and filled my car up with gas and then went to the Center to pick him up. This is what I posted on my Facebook page:

I, Kay Krause, had the privilege and honor to transport another released ICE Detainee this afternoon. This one was a 22 year-old from Russia. He had been held at the Chase County, KS Detention Center for one month.

I didn’t get his story of why he was picked up. I took him to the Department of Homeland Security up by the airport to pick up his driver’s license, work permit, and VISA. I then took him to the airport where his brother was arranging a flight home to Chicago for him.

I picked him up a little after 2:00. The Department of Homeland Security office closes at 4:00. It is a two hour drive to get there from the Chase County Detention Center. My GPS showed me arriving at 4:07. I called the Lieutenant at the Center and asked her if she had a contact at the KC Office in case I couldn’t make it there by 4:00. She called me back and gave me a phone number of a lady that works there and her phone number. I was to call her if I didn’t make it by 4:00.

I drove like a mad woman and we got to the Department of Homeland Security office right at 4:00. Three armed security guards were coming out as we walked up to the door. I waited until they came out and then I was going to enter the building. The last one put his hand on his holster and told me to step back, the office was closed and to come back tomorrow. I stepped between him and the man I was transporting and said no problem. The guard made sure the door closed and was locked and then left.

I called the contact inside and she came out with the cards the immigrant needed. She was my angel that helped out today as without those cards, he would not have been able to fly home tonight.

I then took him over to the airport and dropped him off along with a phone charger and adapter. I have learned to keep my car stocked with chargers as the immigrants I transport rarely have a charger with them when they are picked up. I trust he was able to get a flight out tonight and reunite with his brother.

He did tell me his parents are old and sick and are still back in Russia. He was hoping to obtain some medication to send them as it is hard to get medication where they are in Russia right now.

What an honor it is to transport these released immigrants. This one is turning 23 on August 23rd. He was grateful to be able to be released before his birthday.

Please feel free to share this post. I feel it is important that their stories be told and shared.

It was a bit nerve racking to have the security guy approach me as he did. I am not used to that attitude. I was ever so grateful that the Lieutenant had given me a phone number of someone to call so he could get his ID tonight. Otherwise he would not have been able to fly home today.

I feel like I am making friends from all over the world without having to travel. Afghanistan, India, China, Palestine and now Russia. I wish I had contact information for all of them but I do not. I wish I could speak some foreign languages but how in the world would I know which one to learn. I find it interesting that so far none are from Mexico or Central or South America.

It is always a relief to know one more got released. So few do these days.

I will take some time this evening to feel all the feels and allow my body to process the day.

Tomorrow I am going out to lunch with a group of friends. I will need that! The timing is divine! Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment and then I will have some empty space on my calendar.

What a day! I never know when a transport will come up and I am never given more than a moment’s notice. Grateful I had free time and could make it happen today.

Grateful the beef is in the house, grateful to be in service today, and grateful for an angel at the Department of Homeland Security that went out of her way to help us out today.

Quiet day today. I did go to the Dollar General and got some mouse traps. Kathy saw what she called a “furry friend” in the back room. Have I ever said I hate mice? If not, I will tell you now, I hate mice! We both told her cat Louis he better start earning his keep and go to it! He didn’t seem too fazed by that.

I took a nap this afternoon. Have felt very tired all day. Not sure why but since I could find sleep I decided to allow it. I’m still tired tonight.

I got two loads of laundry washed, folded and put away. Always feel good when I get all that done in the same day.

Tomorrow I am going to the meat locker in the morning to pick up the beef. I will come home and sort it into thirds and then put one third in my freezer to take to Nicole another day. My neighbor will come get one third and a friend is going to come get one third. It will be good to have that job done and taken care of.

Tuesday I am going with some dear friends to Manhattan for lunch. Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning in Emporia. The rest of the week should be empty space time.

I had a discussion with a person tonight. We have a lot in common but also a lot of opinions we hold differently. It was refreshing to have a civil conversation and we ended with both of us better understanding the other’s point of view. Neither of us changed our minds on where we stand but that wasn’t the point of the discussion. I better understand the choices they are making even when I don’t agree.

We both agree that individuals should be able to make the choices that best serve themselves and their families.

I called the internet service to find out why I couldn’t pull up my new website using their service but I could using my phone as the internet. He did his magic and I now can pull up the new website. I didn’t need to buy a VPN whatever that is. I was grateful it got fixed.

Think I will go to bed early tonight as I am still tired. Not sure where this exhaustion is coming from. Hoping I have lots more energy tomorrow. Hoping I get the doctor’s note on my colonoscopy tomorrow. I still have no idea what he found or did.

Grateful for people that are willing to have conversations even when we don’t agree, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful I was able to get the website situation fixed.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home type of day. I woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got up at 6:00 and went back to bed at 8:00. Slept two more hours. Sleep and I are not good friends right now. I wonder who but who in time-out?

I pulled my big girls panties up and released the website for Love in Action. I still can’t pull it up consistently. So far most can open it however I have had two that cannot. What is going on? I am ignorant on things like this. Part of me just wants to give it a bit more time? Maybe there is a button somewhere that needs fixed? I will wait till I have a free day next week and if it is still doing this I will call for help.

I added PayPal as a donation method a bit ago and when I was checking trash today found notices from people that had donated to PayPal. I would attempt to move the notice to my in box and it would bounce back to trash. Finally discovered that somewhere a long time ago I had blocked PayPal. Took me a bit to figure out how to unblock it.

Worked on the Pen Pal program a bit today. Have a new request and it took me two tries to get a volunteer. The first one had very understandable reasons not to take the new request. Luckily, another Pen Pal had been moved out of the Center so that volunteer was available. She does a great job of being mindful and not disclosing her personal information. That was very needed in this case.

It has been a technology type of day. Some success and some frustrations. Sure wish I knew more than I do but I am not motivated to go to school to learn. That is what experts are for – right? Trusting it will all get sorted out sooner or later – it always does.

Have felt almost “normal” today. I ate brunch around 12:30 and haven’t needed to eat anymore since. Only had two eggs and a piece of toast but am very full right now. That is one of the problems the doctor is trying to figure out why that happens. Sure hope they have some answers for me when I go on the 24th for my follow-up appointment. The good news of the day is I haven’t had to run to the bathroom today. Grateful to have at least a day off from that. Kathy took my place today and has had to run a couple of times. That is unusual for her. I told her thanks for joining me!

No plans for tomorrow. I have three busy days after that so will enjoy another stay-at-home resting type of day. I do have some housecleaning that needs done but there is always that to do. Tomorrow is laundry day so will attempt to get that done.

I reached out to someone I know today to see if she will have a conversation with me about vaccines. We are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. I told her I wasn’t going to attempt to change her mind and didn’t want her to attempt to change my mind. I just want to open my mind to other possibilities and to understand the whys behind her choice. She graciously agreed to have a discussion which we will have soon.

I strongly feel we have to start finding ways to talk to both sides and find out why people are making the choices they are. Not to change their minds, but to open mine. We have way more in common than our differences and we all need reminded of that. Maybe each side can learn something from the other and respect can come back into the equation.

I have been guilty of turning away from people that have different views than I have and I need to stop doing that. It can be a challenge to find someone willing to have conversation but I think they are out there. I am on a mission to find them and start opening some doors.

When I reached out to a guy that has a different view than mine about immigration we built a fragile bridge between us. That one was a bit easier because I doubt if I ever hear from him again. However, it gave me hope that if we can listen without judgement and allow the conversations, maybe the temperature of the debate can be dialed down a bit.

Grateful the website has launched, grateful there are experts that can help fix it if needed, and grateful for people that are willing to have a conversation with someone they have a different opinion about things.

Last night was a very long night. By 8:00 my stool was still not clear yellow so I took two more laxatives. BIG mistake. They didn’t kick in until 2:30 this morning and then man did they work. Every ten minutes until 6:00. I got very little sleep last night.

Kathy and I left in the rain a bit early as I wasn’t sure if it would rain all the way or not and wanted to allow extra time. It did rain most of the way and some of it was serious rain. We got there in plenty of time but was grateful I didn’t have to stress and could allow myself to slow down for safety when it was needed.

I was rather dehydrated and was surprised when the nurse got the IV started with only one poke. She was good! They took me back for my procedure a little after 9:00 and I was out of there a little after 10:00.

Kathy said the doctor came bedside to talk to me afterwards but I don’t remember seeing him. Not sure what they found out other than they removed a couple of polyps. The office called and scheduled an appointment for me on August 24 to go over next steps.

I had trouble waking up this time. I think it was because this was the second procedure two weeks. I also hadn’t slept much at all last night. They were anxious to get me out of there. I was shivering and shaking but that didn’t seem to get their attention. I was grateful Kathy drove home as I don’t think I could have today. Two weeks ago I could have.

The care was good today but not as excellent as the first time. They didn’t really miss anything today other than I really felt rushed out of there. Last time the care felt a bit more personal.

I came home and took a nap. Felt better after that. I managed to eat something for the first time in 36 hours. I am working on drinking lots as I still feel a bit dry.

Grateful this procedure got done and hopeful they discovered what is causing my issues. The doctor will post the operating room notes to MyChart and I will be able to read them before my appointment on the 24th. I will also see the biopsy reports when they come back. Hoping the 24th will give me lots of answers.

I don’t plan on doing anything the rest of the day. I’m still pretty tired and not “normal” yet. Hoping tomorrow I will be back to whatever my “normal” is and I can go on with my life. This procedure has been hanging over my head since February! Grateful it is over.

Next week I have to go to Olpe on Monday to pick up the beef, Tuesday I have a lunch to go to in Manhattan, and Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment with my primary care doctor. It will be a busy week for me. So far the next week has lots of empty space to look forward to.

Spent some time reading comments and posts about the election that happened earlier this week. Man, people can be cruel. I wonder if they would say those things to someone’s face? How have we lost the ability to listen to each other and disagree without becoming disagreeable? The facilitator of a big group I am in on Facebook posted about the threats she is getting from people that want her to do her group differently. I can relate to the facilitator’s post and feel for her. It is hard to take a stand in love and not get bullied. I attempt to stand in love anyways but somedays it is hard!

Feeling a bit drained, poked and prodded. My insides have been examined and they are complaining about it a bit! It will all have been worth it if whatever is going on has been discovered. I will allow my body to rest this weekend and be ready to face my busy week next week.

Grateful the colonoscopy is finally over, grateful for the kind care I received today, and grateful for Kathy’s loving presence and care.

Well this has been a day! I am on clear liquids and in the middle of my prep for my colonoscopy. I thought I was starting to get into trouble and I had only taken the first step in the prep which is two laxatives by pill.

I called the doctor’s office to get some guidance on how to proceed. The website said they were there until 5:00. I called at 4:00 and asked for the nurse. She answered but said she had no clue about the prep process and transferred me to scheduling. Weird but OK. Unfortunately I had to leave a message. When I hadn’t heard back at 4:40 I called back and found out the office closes at 4:30 so was unable to talk to anyone.

I called the on-call doctor at 5:00 and have not heard back. Dang I hate this.

The next step in prep is to mix the entire bottle of Miralax with two 28 oz bottles of Gatorade and drink it all down. I have managed to get two cups down so far. I did start feeling better when I drank some Gatorade due to the sugar it has in it. I hadn’t had any sugar or salt all day.

So far the Miralax hasn’t started working but I may not have anything left in me. Sorry for all the shitty details – Pun intended!

We shall see how the night goes. I still have the Miralax to get down and then I am to take two more laxatives. Not sure I will go there. I am going to give what I have taken so far time to work before I take anything else. I’m afraid if I do all that has been prescribed I will run into problems.

Yesterday and this morning I had lots of BM’s so was fairly cleaned out before I ever started the prep. Sure wish the doctor would call me so I can get some direction.

Still struggling to get the new Love in Action website to come up on all three of my devices. I still haven’t managed to get it to come up on the desktop and it is hit and miss on my iPhone and iPad. I decided to set it all aside and deal with it after tomorrow. My priority right now is the colonoscopy.

We have to leave for Wichita at 6:20 in the morning so we can be at the hospital by 7:30. I filled out all the paperwork this morning so that is ready to go. My procedure is at 9:00 and I am betting I am out of there before 11:00. It sure will be good to have this behind me. (Oops, another pun!)

Haven’t done much today but run to the bathroom. I did get the laundry I washed yesterday folded and put away. I make a post on the Love in Action page about the pizza. I took a deposit to the bank and then stopped by and ordered the pizza. I have to give them plenty of notice so they can make sure they have the items on hand to make 50 pizzas as well as the staff to make them. The store is running a back-to-school special on pizza that week so it will be discounted. The manager said she would honor the sale price for me. That is much appreciated. The Center is going to pick up the pizza so all I have to do on the 21st is go pay for it.

Man I will be relieved when this is all done. I had the original problem that started this whole chain of events back in February. Our modern medical system doesn’t move too fast these days. I sure hope and trust that the doctor discovers what my problem is and can come up with some real solutions. I am tired of having to be close to a bathroom many days.

Grateful the pizza is ordered, grateful the laundry got put away, and grateful tomorrow is almost here.

This was anything but an empty space day. A preacher lady from Wichita contacted me last night and asked if she could visit with me this morning. She called me at 9:30 and we chatted for over an hour.

She is gathering a group of pastors from the Wichita area and they are going to do something to help either the Detainees or their families in Wichita. She was looking for ideas on what might be needed and how to go about doing it.

I don’t know if I was of any help to her or not. I told her why I had chosen to do what I am doing and then explained all that we do. I encouraged her to start small and build from there. There is so much that needs done that it can feel defeating if you take on too much.

I went to Emporia when I finished talking with her. Stopped and picked up Ellexia and then we met Jason at Bobby D’s for lunch. Always a good day when I get to spend part of it with my loved ones.

I took Ellexia home after lunch and then I killed time for a bit. I had to quickly find a bathroom a couple of times. I needed to be at a church at 1:25 as I did a presentation to a group of church women. I think the presentation was OK. I went way over my 20 minutes and we talked for about an hour. They had some good questions and comments. I stayed and they did their business meeting and then they served desserts. I answered some more questions and then came home.

It was a churchy type of day! The preacher was a United Methodist preacher and the church I went to today was United Methodist. Memories from the past assaulted me today. I came home exhausted. My tummy has been giving me fits today. I lost count how many times I had to go to the bathroom. Maybe I am getting a head start of the clean out tomorrow.

I came home and took a nap. Had trouble falling asleep but I finally found some sleep. I am still wiped out but can almost function, although I wouldn’t want to do anything too challenging.

Struggling to get the new website to open on my desktop. It will now open on my iPad and iPhone but it won’t load on the desktop. I’m afraid I choose the wrong name and there is a block of some sort that is not going to let it work. I may have to rename it and try again. Wonder what that will cost and look like? Dang it anyways. Things aren’t always as simple as I think they should be.

When we released the site it said to give it up to 72 hours to fully load. I will give it another day or two and then I am going to have to make some calls if it continues not to load. Not sure I know where to start but calling and asking for help is something I can do. My main fear of doing that is my lack of understanding the terminology they will use to help me fix it. I am very ignorant about these things.

I got 54 stamps in the mail today as well as a donation check. I was also given a check at the meeting today as well as a bit of cash. I will need to write some thank you notes and make a trip to the bank tomorrow.

Tomorrow afternoon I start the prep. I can only have clear fluids tomorrow. I’m not hungry tonight and trying to decide if I should try to eat something or just let it go. It may be a long day tomorrow, especially when things get going. Hoping I won’t run into issues like last time. At least this time, I only have to do one day of prep and not two.

Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 in the morning and the procedure is at 9:00. I should be home by noon or a little after. This time I know the right place to go and it is closer than the doctor’s office.

No plans for the weekend. Giving myself some time to recover. It shouldn’t be hard to recover. Sure hoping they find out why my tummy doesn’t behave itself way too often.

Monday I have to go pick up the beef that is ready. Tuesday I have a lunch in Manhattan to go to, and Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia. I won’t have lots of empty space next week.

It was a Love in Action day today. I haven’t talked about Love in Action like that for a long time. I trust someone got something out of it. One never knows how people will take what I say. I try hard to avoid politics or religion when I talk but since I was talking to church people today not sure how that went over. I never know others feelings on politics but I also know their reaction is on them, not me.

Grateful to have gotten to share the Love in Action story twice today, grateful to have not had a bathroom oops, and grateful for an afternoon nap that restored my soul and body.

I went to Emporia this morning to pick up the supplies for the colonoscopy prep. Man it was hard to put a container of MiraLAX in my cart and know that I have to mix it and drink the whole thing. I am grateful I only do one night of prep instead of two nights this time.

I am excited that the amendment proposal to change the way the judges are elected failed. However I have a bit of cognitive dissonance going on because the Republicans choose Ty Masterson as their choice for Governor. Isn’t he the one that pushed the amendment? Uhm…….

I went to Christy Davis election watch party for a short bit. I got there just before she gave her concession speech. I got to visit with some Love in Action supporters and vent a bit. I needed that. I so appreciate the support others give me for this program and it encourages me to put the hard stuff down and push on.

I got a call that the beef is ready to be picked up. They are closed tomorrow and I am busy Thursday and Friday so will pick it up Monday. Two of the people each getting 1/3 of 1/2 will get their beef Monday. I have room in my freezer for the other 1/3 and I will get it to Nicole on another day. I didn’t keep any of it for me this time as I still have beef left over from last year. Kathy and I don’t eat that much of it anymore.

I had a quick chat with my brother Keith today. He is getting 1/2 of the beef. It was good to catch up with him. He has had some health issues going on and his son just had a baby that is in NICU and I needed to check on her.

Tomorrow I am picking up Ellexia and we are going to meet Jason for lunch. After I take Ellexia home, I am going to a church to do a presentation on Love in Action. They only want me to talk for 20 – 30 minutes. I will have to remember to wear my watch as I could talk for an hour.

Thursday I do my prep day and Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 for the colonoscopy. I will be so glad when it is over.

It felt good to get some frustration out tonight and have the chance to vent. I feel more grounded than I have been. I reached out to the guy that started the latest mess and I think we are good. Somehow, someway, we have got to remember how to talk to each other and stop the name calling.

Grateful the amendment proposal didn’t pass, grateful for friends that let me vent tonight, and grateful I get to see Ellexia and Jason tomorrow.

Man, life gets interesting sometimes. Late last night I got a question about my post I made about the man from Germany that has requested to be deported. The man questioning me wanted the name of the Detainee. I refused to give it to him because of confidentiality reasons. We went back and forth a couple times and then he said that I could rightly be accused of making up the story since I wouldn’t disclose the names. He wanted to do a background check on the guy to see if he was worthy of having his story told.

I responded when I transported the two from Afghanistan and India, I never did learn their names. I have the name of the father of the son from Palestine in my phone as Father Palestine and the lady from China as Lin China. I told him I didn’t need to know their story or even their names to determine they were worthy of love and a ride. He didn’t respond back to that.

Because his post was public, I decided I needed to make another post letting others know why I chose not to disclose names and if that caused them to doubt my story so be it. I also said I am taking a love stand and invited others to stand with me. Sometimes when you stand up to a bully, they back down. I haven’t heard a peep out of the guy today.

The response to that post has been a bit overwhelming for me. I received several PM, texts, emails, and lots of responses. Love will win!

Haven’t felt the best again today. I had trouble sleeping after all that last night. I took a nap this afternoon but had trouble sleeping then too.

I got the instructions for my colonoscopy prep that I have to do Thursday. There were instructions for this week too that I was to have started last Friday – oops! I will go to town tomorrow and get what I need to do the prep. I am NOT looking forward to doing it but grateful I only have to do one round on one day and not another round on a second day.

I had ordered a new purse and backpack for my trip this November. They came in today and are perfect. I love the purse I have now but the credit card part is hard to snap shut and my phone won’t fit in the purse. The new purse is about an inch longer so the phone fits easily and the credit card part zips close so the cards will be more secure. I will probably start using it all the time. The backpack is much smaller than the one I have now but it is plenty big for my iPad, a change of clothes, and some snacks. I also ordered some packing cubes. I will give them a try and see if I like using them.

When I go on a trip that I have to repack every night or every other night it gets hard to keep things sorted. Hoping the packing cubes will help with that. We shall see if I can teach this old lady a new trick!

It got hot again today. The dogs are inside today for the first time in a couple of days. They have showed no desire to return outside yet.

Tomorrow I plan on going to Emporia to pick up my prescriptions and the supplies I need for the colonoscopy prep. I could wait and get them after my presentation Wednesday but have a feeling I won’t want to stop afterwards.

Thursday I will be doing my prep so will be on a liquid diet all day. I start taking the clean out stuff late afternoon. Last time it took six hours before things quieted down. May be a long night Thursday and I have to be in Wichita by 7:30 Friday morning.

No plans for the weekend. Next week I have a lunch to go to on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday. I am grateful for all this empty space time. It is giving me the space and time I need to find my center and balance. The last week has been a doozy.

Sitting wrapped in the love of my supporters and donors from Love in Action. So many nice comments of support. I truly believe love will win and will drown out the hate.

Grateful I had an empty space day today to allow me to process my feelings and emotions, grateful for the love and support of my Facebook family, and grateful the instructions for the prep came today.

I got more sleep last night than I have been getting. It has been another hard day though. I think I need to take a break from Love in Action for a bit. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster this last week and have lost my footing and grounding.

I kinda laugh because last time I said I was going to do that and completely surrendered it, I got an email from the Center and the next day I dived back in. Not expecting it to happen that fast again but I am surrendering it completely and won’t pick it back up again until I am clear about my purpose.

Haven’t done much today. I did get my thank you notes written and in the mail box. I sure wish I had mailing addresses for those that donate via VENMO so I could properly acknowledge them too.

Nothing on the calendar until Wednesday when I am doing a presentation on Love in Action in the afternoon. I do need to pick up a couple of prescriptions so might go to town tomorrow and get those. I have a few groceries I need too.

Thursday I have to do my colonoscopy prep and then Friday I have to be in Wichita at 7:30 in the morning. I trust since I only have one prep to do and not two I can make it through without issue. I still don’t know what I need to do the prep with so hoping the information will show up tomorrow so I can pick up what I need.

I really would love to find a solution to my tummy issues. The upper showed some inflammation of the stomach lining but no definite answers as to why. I was pleased that the reflux I am having hasn’t damaged the esophagus yet. I’m also grateful I don’t have an ulcer and that the pancreas isn’t my problem.

The website still isn’t opening on Apple products. The site certificate page says to give it 72 hours to fully come on-line. If it isn’t on-line by Wednesday I will have my neighbor kid fix it for me. I look forward to announcing we have a real website.

I’m grateful we raised extra funds for the pizza party as the website costs more than I expected it to. There are lots of things in the background you have to pay for I didn’t know about. Sometimes I think it is a good thing I don’t know about these things as I wouldn’t have the nerve to jump in and do them if I knew all the details in advance.

Life is a roller coaster at times. I allow myself to fully feel both the ups and the downs and I feel this week I have gotten whiplash from the extremes. Pure joy at helping a released ICE Detainee get released to pure devastation at the situation of the man from Germany who has few good choices and control over his life. Somewhere in all of this is balance. I need to regroup, reset and find that balance point.

I step in and out of acceptance of what Love in Action can and does do. I swing out of acceptance when I see the things that need to be done that are too big for Love in Action to take on. Most of that is policy issues that I can’t change. When I can zoom out and realize what we have been able to do I can find that balance point again. Today, I haven’t been able to.

Grateful I know what I need to do to find balance, grateful I can allow myself to feel the highs and the lows, and grateful I can step aside for a bit and allow balance to find me.

This has not been an easy day. Second one in a row. I think that is enough of this. Tomorrow has got to be better!

Played peek a boo with sleep all night and if I catch sleep, I didn’t stay asleep. I laid back down this morning and again this afternoon but didn’t have much more luck. I am tired and cranky tonight.

The neighbor kid came over and attempted to make the website go live. It will load on non apple products but not on apple products. When I look up what to do, I don’t understand the instructions as they use words I have no idea where to go to find what they want me to do.

He brought over a contract that I needed to sign. Have no idea what most of it says or means. He is a real professional at age 12!

I will have the kid come over tomorrow and see if he can figure it out. I am too tired and frustrated to attempt it again tonight.

Other than getting two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away I haven’t done much today. One of those days where everything I went to do caused frustration. I sorted my pills for two weeks and when I pulled the tray of pills out of the cabinet four bottles of pills fell down. Rinse and repeat and that is how my day has gone.

The good news of the day is I got more donations for Love in Action today. We have several ways donors can give and I think all of them were used today. It is good to get a live test on the two new ones so I can figure out how to get to the funds. Donors have been very generous in giving lately. It is a good thing as the website is costing more than I expected. We had to purchase some sort of thing today and have no idea what it was and when it renews, etc. I don’t understand that stuff and have no real desire to learn it. Hope the neighbor kid never moves!

What a beautiful day it was today. Low humidity, 80’s temperature, and light winds. I could live somewhere when it is like this every day. Kathy worked out in the yard today. She is sore tonight.

No plans tomorrow although I hope the website gets fixed so it can be released. That will be one more thing off my list of things to do.

One of the Detainees has requested a priest so he can do confession and receive communion. That is out of my control so will write a note to the staff at the Center and ask about the protocol they have for that. I’m not allowed to deal with religious matters due to the 501()3 requirements.

I do have a couple of notes I need to send to some Pen Pals. I wrote one this morning and I was almost done with it and it disappeared. This happened one other time. I don’t know if I am doing something wrong or if the system glitches and causes that. I was too frustrated to write it all out again when it happened.

I heard from my transport that she has arrived safely in New York. If I understood her correctly she didn’t get there until today. Not sure what the story behind that is but it doesn’t matter as she is where she needs to be now and is safe. I trust she won’t encounter ICE again.

I needed to refill two prescriptions so will need to go to town sometime this week and pick those up. I have a presentation to do on Wednesday so I can get them then if I don’t make it to town before then. Friday I have my colonoscopy so will have to start prep on Thursday. I haven’t gotten the instructions yet so hoping those come by Tuesday. If not, I will have to call and get them as I don’t know what supplies I will need to do the prep.

I realized today I haven’t had two bad days back to back for a bit. I can’t believe when I was with Jim I had them most of the time. I am grateful they are rare enough that I notice when I have two back to back now. However did I live like this all the time?

I have a bunch of thank you notes I need to write. Maybe I can get those done tomorrow. The good news is both Zeffy and PayPal give me mailing addresses so I can formally acknowledge the donations. VENMO does not do that.

My peaceful valley doesn’t feel so peaceful tonight. I think most of it is sleep deprivation more than anything else. I sure wish there was a cure for my sleeping problem.

Grateful the website is almost ready to go, grateful that this too shall pass, and grateful for the break in the heat and humidity.

Not one of my better days. No energy or motivation to do anything. I could tell things were not going to be easy today so haven’t attempted much. I did take the sheets off my bed and washed them but haven’t gotten them put back on yet.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I think I was too wired from my trip to KC. Got up this morning and did not feel well rested. Went back to bed but couldn’t sleep. Finally was able to try again and this time I got a bit of sleep. Still not feeling rested but at least not quite so tired.

Have had lots of readers of my post about the transport last night. I like to see who shared it and what is being said on those posts. For some reason, Facebook is not allowing me to see who shared the post today. Not sure if I am doing something wrong or if Facebook made some changes again. Will try again another day.

I am grateful I had nothing I had to get done today as I’m not sure I would have been able to do so. I am spoiled with all the empty space time I have and can put things off when I decide to.

I got the car titles back today. About five weeks ago I went to the Courthouse and added my trust as the beneficiary on them. It is nice to have that pending project crossed off my list of things to track.

Got the month end report for Love in Action posted. I added a quick paragraph about the transport. I decided not to include the funds for the pizza event in it as it is easier to report that once and not split it. Wish I could figure out what to leave out so it isn’t so long.

My neighbor kid got the corrections made to the Website. I think we are ready to launch. I have a couple of small things to change at some point but nothing important. I will schedule a launch day for one day next week.

Got a text from the lady I drove to KC yesterday. She had managed to get her ID and was at the airport waiting for her flight. I think she will let me know when she arrives in New York and then I will post an update to the story. How sweet of her to keep me informed.

No plans for the weekend. Hoping I have more energy tomorrow and get a few things done. I always feel better when I have a bit of a productive day and am not a slug all day long. It is to be a bit cooler so maybe I can get out and take a long walk. It has been a bit since I have done that.

Grateful my transport was able to get her ID without issue, grateful others are interested in her story, and grateful the website is ready to launch.

This day had a plot twist thrown in to keep me on my toes!

I went to Emporia and picked Ellexia up at 11:30. We went to Applebees for lunch and then went to Five Below. At least, I think that is the name of the store. I had never been there before and hadn’t heard of it. I think I need to get out more.

Ellexia picked up a few things she needed for school supplies and then we went to Walmart to get the rest of the things on her list. I picked up a bag of ice and we checked out. I use self check-out and the lady came up as I was finishing up and said did you ring in the ice? I said I did and she said she didn’t see it. I showed her the receipt and she said it’s not on there. I said yes it was and showed her. It rings in as medium bags. She said that isn’t ice. I said check the numbers. She did and sure enough it was ice. She said I am going to tell management to change the name. She didn’t apologize to me about her attitude. Geez!

I took Ellexia home and then drove home. I was just finishing up putting the ice away when the Captain from the Center called me to ask if I could do a transport today. He had an ICE Detainee from China that needed to go somewhere so she could start her journey home to New York State. Initially he said I was going to take her to the bus station at Topeka but they don’t have a ticket office there. He said he would work with her some more and I arranged to pick her up at 3:00.

I went to get her and they had discovered she didn’t have her ID with her. It is at the Department of Homeland Security Office in KCMO up by the airport. Unfortunately, it would have been closed before I could get her there today. Her niece was going to arrange for a ticket for her so she could fly home to New York. She couldn’t fly home without her ID.

Not sure where she was picked up at but she lives in New York. She had no money on her and no credit cards. I told the Captain I would take her to a hotel by the airport and the Department of Homeland Security Office and pay for her to stay the night. I would arrange with the front desk to provide transportation for her to the Office in the morning so she could get her ID and then for them to take her to the airport.

We got part way to KC and she asked me to pull over. Using Google translate she said a friend of a friend lives in KC and they were going to arrange for a hotel room for the night and then would take her in the morning to where she needed to go. So I only had to take her to a hotel in Overland Park. That made the trip much shorter.

She didn’t speak much English and I speak no Chinese so I have no idea what her story was and how she ended up staying for a couple months in Chase County. She was most appreciative of the drive. Her friend put some money in my sweater pocket and would not take it back. I tried to explain what Love in Action is all about but she either didn’t understand or wouldn’t accept that there was no charge. I took the money and will add it to the pizza party event we are hosting for the Detainees in August. Not only will we celebrate my birthday but we will also celebrate her getting released. Not many do and I think it gives the ICE Detainees at the Center hope when one does get released.

What an honor it is to get to transport the released Detainees. She was so sweet and most appreciative. For tonight, I will rest knowing one got released as so few do.

I remember thinking about all the empty space I was going to have this week. So grateful I had the space to be able to do the transport today and didn’t even have to rearrange anything on my calendar. There is a bigger plan going on behind the scenes that I need to remember to trust!

No plans for the rest of the week or the weekend. Nothing on my calendar until Wednesday. Neither Kathy nor I slept much last night so hoping we both will tonight.

What a day. Spending time with released Detainees is such an honor. They are so very appreciative of a ride. I don’t know why ICE is allowed to just kick them out and not have to pay for transportation for them back to where ever they were picked up at. Thank heavens for Captain Whitney that helps his released Detainees get home.

Grateful for the opportunity to be in service to a released detainee, grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, and grateful for time with Ellexia today.

I got lots of sleep last night. I slept the clock around. I was woken up while in a vivid dream. In the dream I was back at the house in the country and although I was home, I had hired someone to take care of the chickens. For some reason I realized they had not shown up to take care of the chickens for over five days and it was hot outside. I got up and was putting on clothes as fast as I could when I woke up. Oops. Not sure where that came from.. It got me up and out of bed and dressed…..

The neighbor kid sent over the website via email that he has been working on. I sent a page of corrections and he made them and sent it back. Found a few more corrections and sent them to him. He hasn’t sent those corrections back yet. We are close to having a website up and running for Love in Action.

Have raised half of the needed funds to do a pizza event for the Detainees for my birthday. Trusting the other half, or at least most of it, will come in before my birthday August 21. I sent a note to the Captain asking permission to do a pizza event in August. I guess I should have done that first but since we did it before I think he will agree to it.

Ellexia sent me a text and asked if we could go shopping to get the rest of her school supplies. I am picking her up at 11:30 tomorrow. We will go to lunch and then go to Walmart and get what she needs. I have a couple things I need to get for me while I am there. It will be fun to spend time with Ellexia again.

The gastro doctor’s office called me today and scheduled my colonoscopy for August 9. That is sooner than I expected it to be. I go back to the same hospital that I was at last week. It was a competent hospital so feel comfortable going back there. Not looking forward to the prep but the doctor said he only prescribes one round of prep the night before. Crossing my fingers and toes I can tolerate it and get this done.

I got the results of the biopsy back today. I don’t have what ever bacteria infection he was looking for. I do have gastropathy which is when the stomach lining is injured. I looked up the reasons that could happen and none of them seemed to fit although it can happen when you have an autoimmune condition. I have thought for some time that I have some autoimmune problem that hasn’t been diagnosis yet. We shall see what the colonoscopy shows. Maybe we can get a definite diagnosis with a treatment that will work.

I ordered a new purse and a new backpack today. I am starting to think about my trip in November and need to try something new. My current purse doesn’t fit my phone and I tend to misplace it easily. My current backpack is too big. Trying to get something to replace both of them that will make traveling easier. We shall see if I chose well.

This day went by quickly since I slept all morning. I wonder if I will find sleep tonight. I rarely do after sleeping so long but we shall see. I still don’t feel rested but I have a severe sleep deficit.

No plans for the weekend. I will post the monthly update for Love in Action Friday or Saturday. That will keep me busy answering questions and comments. Next week I am doing a presentation at a church in Emporia on Love in Action and then I will have the colonoscopy on Friday. I still have lots of empty space on my calendar.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley. I read the news and I feel like I am observing it yet I am isolated from it somehow. I think it is too hard to allow in right now. I keep telling myself – right here, right now, all is well. I’m sure the repercussions of all that is happening will unfold and come closer. My heart hurts when I think of all in the world that can’t push all the hard news away and have to be in the middle of it.

Grateful for the funds that have come in for the pizza event, grateful for positive biopsy results, and grateful I get to spend time with Ellexia tomorrow.

I only got about two hours of sleep last night. One of those nights where sleep was playing hide and seek and I wasn’t looking in the right places. I gave up around 6:00 this morning so it has been a long day.

I did two loads of laundry and got them folded and put away. I think that is my only win of the day!

I attempted a nap but could not go to sleep. Maybe tonight I will crash and sleep around the clock.

I took a check to the bank and deposited it for Love in Action. I am grateful the bank I use for that account is only two minutes from my house.

The kid that is working on my website sent me his first draft of the work he is doing. I am impressed with what he has done so far. I sent him a list of changes to make. Maybe we can get the site up and running sooner than I expected. We shall see how long it takes him to make the changes.

Have had a headache most of the day. I am pretty sure it is from lack of sleep. I took some Tylenol and that knocked it down to a quieter background headache instead of a pounding one.

Was nice to have some cooler temperatures today. We got a bit of rain overnight and some sprinkles this morning. I think it is only to be in the upper 80’s for a couple of days. That is a nice break. The dogs still spent the afternoon in the house and are not jumping for joy to go back outside tonight. They are getting old and the heat is hard on them.

No plans for tomorrow or the rest of the week. Today has felt long and nonproductive. I didn’t attempt to do much as I didn’t get much sleep and knew things would probably not be easy today. I am grateful I can take a day off when needed for my safety and the safety of those around me!

Ellexia wants me to take her to Walmart and get the rest of the school supplies she thinks she needs. I think she gets home from her trip tomorrow. She is to let me know when she wants to go shopping. We will have lunch and then take care of her list.

The full moon energy this month is intense. We are in Leo season and that energy is strong and in your face too. No wonder I couldn’t sleep last night! I miss not being able to see the moon rise and follow it across the sky during the night.

Sitting in the ebb and flow of life and aware of the moon’s pull. Add in the energy of the conflict in the Middle East and it is no wonder things are stirred up. I have started doing a releasing ceremony every night to make sure I am not holding what is not mine to carry. I have restricted myself to short periods of time to read the news and attempt to remember to make sure I am well grounded before I open the app to read the news.

I read where the administration is wanting to consolidate the immigration cases under one branch instead of the current two as a way to eliminate the number of people that are applying for asylum. There are over 3 million asylum cases in process and the government wants to cut them all off. What are we doing? I can’t wrap my head around the cruelty and fear that this will create. Why can’t we help our neighbors out?

Why ask why! It is hard some days to stay in the energy of love and find ways to remember we are all one.

Grateful for the sleep I will get tonight, grateful for the rain and cooler temperatures, and grateful love will win.

After not stopping for groceries yesterday, I came home and placed an on-line pickup order at Walmart. I went in to Emporia early afternoon to pick it up. I stopped for lunch on the way, went through the car wash, and filled my car up with gas while I was in town. Kathy helped me carry it all in when I got home.

Walmart was out of ice today. I will need to go pick up a bag later this week. With this heat, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised everyone is buying ice.

Nicole called this afternoon and we had a nice chat. I saw the other two kids yesterday so feel like I got caught up with all three now. Love when that happens.

I took a short nap this afternoon. I think the heat sapped all of my energy today. It is scary hot out there again today.

Got a note from the gastroenterologist doctor that he needs my cardiologist to clear me for the colonoscopy. I would think his clearance for the procedure I had last week would suffice but what do I know. I will send my cardiologist a message and ask him to send clearance again. Geez, this seems complicated again.

Facebook sent me a fundraiser post for my birthday that is coming up in August. I decided to attempt to raise enough money to pay for pizza for the Detainees this year. I usually throw myself a birthday party but I would rather give the Detainees pizza instead this year. I have already raised over $200. People are so incredibly generous.

No plans for the rest of the week. It is to cool down a bit starting tomorrow. I welcome the cool. I can’t believe it is almost the end of July already. Where does the time go?

I found a meme in my memories today with a quote from Mother Teresa reminding me what we resist, persists. It was this meme a year ago that led me to stop going to protests and instead do something positive to help create change in the world. I still believe that love is the answer and fighting hate with hate will not get us there. Somehow, some way we have got to stop with the labels, name calling and division and start remembering we all have more in common with each other than our differences.

Grateful the groceries are in the house and my cupboards are restocked, grateful for the generosity of my donors that are supporting the pizza idea for my birthday, and grateful for the empty space ahead this week.

Another hot, summer day. Doesn’t feel quite as hot as yesterday but it is still dangerously hot outside.

I went to Emporia mid morning and had breakfast with Jason and Michelle. I went in to buy some groceries but after breakfast I couldn’t make myself stop and get them. I didn’t feel very good after eating so came home and took a long nap. Felt much better when I woke up. Not sure what is up with that but grateful whatever it was is gone.

Was a nice treat to have breakfast with two of my kids. We don’t make that happen often enough. It makes for a great day whenever I can see one or two or all three of my kids.

Haven’t done anything else today. I don’t have much on my list of things to do except for some house cleaning. That is always available to me if the mood hits and unfortunately the mood rarely hits. When it gets to the point it bothers me, I take care of it then. My tolerance for dirt seems to have increased with my age. There will be a tipping point at some point but I haven’t seemed to reach that point yet.

Nothing is on my calendar so far for this week. I can’t remember the last time that has happened. Maybe something will come up and fill in some of the time this week. Not sure how it makes me feel to have that much empty space. Part of it allows me to take a deep breath and part of it feels overwhelming and terrifying. Trusting I can sit in the middle of that and allow it to be what it is.

Grateful for the time I had with Michelle and Jason this morning, grateful for naps that restore my body, and grateful for empty space that allows me to breathe.

This has been a weird day for me. I took a nap yesterday and slept for a couple of hours. I really didn’t expect to sleep much last night but went to sleep around 11:00 and slept until 7:00 this morning. Since I got up so early, this has felt like a very long day.

Did some paperwork. Am working on the July month end report for Love in Action. I transfered the funds that came in via VENMO to the checking account. I had to pay for 90 more emails for the Pen Pal program. Got most of the report written but am sure I will have to make some last minute adjustments if any more donations come in next week. I always try to keep the report short but haven’t succeeded at that yet. So much happens in a month!

Got two books of stamps in the mail today. We have received over 800 stamps since June. I usually have to buy about 400 stamps a month so that is about two months worth of stamps. Yay! This way I can save the donated funds for special events for the Detainees. I had bought a bunch of stamps before they went up mid July so have lots of stamps on hand right now. That is a good problem to have!

It is scary hot outside today. The dogs came in early this morning. Kathy put them back out for a bit so they could potty. When she brought them back in it took about 30 minutes for their breathing to slow down. Not fit for man or beast outside today. This heat wave is to continue till the first of next week.

The Emporia Gazette posted a heat advisory and they said the temperature was to be in the mid 100’s. That is a bit exaggerated!

No plans for tomorrow and all of next week. I will need to go to town and buy some groceries one of these days. I cleaned out my refrigerator this morning and it is almost empty. The food that was in there wasn’t edible but at least it looked like I had food to eat. Rearranged my freezer to make room for the beef that is coming soon. I’m not keeping any of it for me but I may need to store it for a bit before I can get it to where it belongs.

I have had no symptoms from the procedure yesterday. Even my throat isn’t sore. I’m grateful I recover quickly. It is a relief to know the stone in my pancreas is not dangerous and I can live with only a little over half of my pancreas. My stool test shows I have all the enzymes I need to digest food.

Sitting in my valley of peace tonight. Not much on my calendar or on my pending list of things to do. Hoping time will slow down a bit for me. This year has flown by and I am ready for it to slow down a bit. There is a richness to these empty space days that I want to soak in.

Grateful for all the stamps that have been sent, grateful my recovery was easy, and grateful for air conditioning on this hot, humid summer day.

Went to Wichita late morning for my procedure. I showed up at the wrong place. I never did receive my pre-op instructions and when the lady called to schedule it she didn’t say where I was having it. There is an out patient facility next to my doctor’s office so I assumed I was going there.

Luckily I showed up 15 minutes early and the place I needed to be at was 10 minutes away. The lady at the desk started telling me instructions but I don’t know Wichita and they meant nothing to me. Thank heavens for GPS.

We got to the place on time. I had to fill out paper work. They asked if I had any family history and gave me about two inches of space to write it. Since I was going in for tummy issues I didn’t write anything assuming they were wondering about those types of family issues.

After I did the initial paperwork someone from admissions came and I had to sign my life away. She really didn’t explain what I was signing and I didn’t ask.

We went to a different waiting room and then a nurse came out and took me back. She was efficient and got the IV on the first poke. They even put it in my right hand as I had to lay on my left side for the procedure. Usually I have to ask to have them put it in my right hand. Since I had on elastic waisted pants, I didn’t even have to take them off.

After she got me ready she went and got Kathy and brought her back. I asked the nurse to help Kathy find me and then to be sure to take her back to the waiting room as she would get lost otherwise.

We only waited for about ten minutes before they came to get me to take me to the OR. The nurse that took me back, stopped and took Kathy to the waiting room instead of just giving directions. I appreciated that.

Got to the OR and it didn’t take them long to knock me out. Man is that room cold! Next thing I knew I was in recovery.

I woke up and no one was around. A nurse finally came in and said oh, you are awake already. She went and got Kathy and brought her back.

We had to wait about 15 minutes for the doctor to show up. He told me I had some sort of trauma to my pancreas years ago. The trauma had caused a stone to form and block a duct. About 1/2 of my pancreas is dead but luckily you only need about 1/3 of it to be OK. The only trauma I can think of is way back in high school I took a basketball to my gut area. It hit hard enough it left an imprint of the ball’s ridges on my stomach. I also fell off of a horse about that same time frame. Other than that, I don’t remember any trauma to my gut.

He did say my stomach looked angry so he took some biopsy pieces of it. Everything else looked good. His office is going to call me to schedule a colonoscopy but he said it wasn’t urgent.

He also told me the stool test I had done earlier this week came back normal with my results higher than normal which means my pancreas is creating plenty of enzymes to digest my food. The pancreas is not what is causing any of my tummy issues.

After he left, I got dressed and we were out of there. We were home a little after 4:00. Way earlier than I had expected we would be.

I’ve eaten a sandwich and I think I might go lay down for a bit. Not feeling any pain except for a bit of a sore throat which they told me would happen. Overall it was an easy procedure and by tomorrow I should be good to go.

The hospital where we went was efficient, small and all the people I encountered were pleasant. Overall it was a pleasant experience and much easier than anticipated.

I will rest the rest of the day and be good to go tomorrow.

Grateful for a safe procedure, grateful for the compassionate care I received today, and grateful Kathy was able to drive me home safely.