Starry night on the prairie

51 years ago I was laboring to deliver Jason. Labor lasted over 48 hours with over 30 hours of transition labor. If they had epidurals then they didn’t offer me one. He weighed over 10 pounds and was born early in the morning on July 8! I don’t think they would let that happen nowadays. Lots of stitches and a week’s hospital stay afterwards. Grateful we both made it through and he is the person he is today. My life would not be the same without him.

I get to meet Jason for lunch tomorrow and celebrate his birthday with him. It is always a good day when I get to see one of my kids.

I haven’t done much today. I don’t think I got more than an hour of sleep last night. One of those nights where sleep played hide and seek and I could not find it. Sure makes for a long night. I did manage to take an hours nap late morning but even then sleep was hard to find. Maybe tonight will be the night where sleep finds me.

I did manage to cook myself breakfast and a late lunch today. Wow! Two home cooked meals in the same day! That hasn’t happened for a long time.

When I go to town tomorrow I need to find a substitute for the diabetics for the special event for the Detainees Friday. Still not sure what I am looking for. Walmart had some sugar free cookies that I might have to resort to if I can’t find anything else.

I go back to Emporia Friday to pick up the cupcakes and cake. I will also need to get the ice cream cups. I might get those tomorrow just to save myself the time on Friday. I have to have to cupcakes at the Center before 11:00 and I pick them up at 10:00. If I get the substitute for the diabetic cupcakes tomorrow and the ice cream I will only have to make one stop on Friday.

Still have no idea how many people might be coming. Only five had said they are coming for sure and 35 have indicated they are interested. Many of the 35 will not show up though as they are people from out of state or even out of the country. I’m sure there will be some that show up that haven’t responded. I will cross my fingers and hope I have enough food. I have never run out before so will trust I have enough this time too.

I just remembered I didn’t call to attempt to get a copy of the CT scan and MRI tests today. Dang, I need to try to remember to do that tomorrow. Wonder why the doctor’s office doesn’t arrange that? You would think there is a process already in place for them to do that.

The neighbors across the street are erecting a new, big storage building of sorts today. A crew has been working all day and mostly have the metal frame up. They have been playing loud music all day. I trust they will be done sooner or later tonight and won’t work into the night. I’m kinda tired of their music.

I got a text letting me know my new glasses came in today. When I go to town tomorrow I will stop and pick them up. I need to go to Walmart to get the ice cream cups anyways so will take care of both before I come home after lunch with Jason.

I got 40 more stamps in the mail today from a new donor to Love in Action. Stamps are our biggest budget item and it is nice to get some so I can save the cash for special events for the Detainees.

While I am at Walmart tomorrow I want to price bags of popcorn. I found some that will work at Costco on-line and will compare prices. I can order the ones from Costco and have them delivered if they are cheaper than Walmart. I have until the 19th to get them so I might even take a trip to Costco if I know for sure they have them in stock. We are giving the Detainees a Coke and a bag of popcorn on the day of the World Cup finals July 19. World’s Cu is equivalent to the US Super Bowl and as there are lots of international people at the detention center, I think they will appreciate us remembering them on that day.

No plans on Thursday other than one last check to make sure I have what I need for Saturday. Friday I will go pick up the cakes and then after I deliver the cup cakes I will get my car loaded. I will have to bring the sheet cake inside overnight so it doesn’t melt in the heat of the day Friday.

Saturday I will need to buy a bunch of ice and take everything up to the Old School and get things set up. Last time I did this that only took about 30 minutes. I did have some help last time. I might see if I can find some help again this time. It sure saved my back having others help lift table and chairs.

I’m grateful I decided to have the meal catered and not try to fix it myself. Lots easier and not that much more expensive. It is so hard to guess how much to fix when you do it from scratch.

Sitting in my empty space tonight and feeling a bit mixed. This day has felt lone and lonely at times and yet the empty space felt expansive at other times. Lack of sleep can distort my view of life and I kept reminding myself of that today.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the birth of Jason, and grateful I get to have lunch with Jason tomorrow.

Kathy and I both agreed that today felt weird. Not sure how but the energy today is weird. We both had trouble settling and we were both restless. We might or might not ever know what is up.

I went to Emporia late morning to pick up a prescription. I also found gluten-free cupcakes so picked those up. They were frozen so I kept them frozen and will thaw them the day before the party.

Found out the Center needs to pass the cupcakes out on Friday instead of Saturday and they need them Friday morning. I went to North Reebles (or whatever that store is called now) to change the pickup time. The lady that helped me said it wasn’t a problem to change. I am grateful.

Stopped and had lunch and then came home. Town felt busy to me today and I was glad to get home.

Still need to figure out something for the diabetic Detainees. I found some sugar free cookies but not sure they are much better for the Detainees than a regular cupcake. I looked on-line and didn’t find anything. Maybe an apple? That doesn’t seem like a good exchange though although if the Detainees don’t get fresh fruit it might be. I will give it some more thought and decide what to do.

Found out I can provide a Coke and popcorn for July 19. That is the day of the finals for the World Cup. The lady that handles these things for me told me I could bring in pre-popped popcorn and brown bags to put it in and she would dish it out. Have no idea how much popcorn I would need to make 150 plus servings. Think I will order the single serving bags of popcorn that is already popped. Costco carries several types and I bet Walmart does too. I will worry about that after the party on Saturday.

I think what the Detainees would rather have is pizza again but that is a bit over my budget. Pizza costs $1,500 for all to have a couple slices and I can do the pop and popcorn for under $400. I will attempt to raise enough funds again at Thanksgiving time so we can do pizza again then.

Pulled out some more items that are on my list that I will need for the party Saturday. I like to have everything ready a couple days ahead of time and then can double and triple check that I have everything. Friday I will go to Emporia and pick up the cake and cupcakes. Saturday I will need to buy ice and then haul everything up there and set up the room. The food is to be delivered by 11:30 so we will be ready to eat at noon.

If this event is like the Singing our Resistance event, people won’t show up until 12:15 or so. Not sure why that happens but that seems to be the norm around here. I think I will have everyone get a plate and then give my talk while they are eating so we can have more time for music from Elexa. After she finishes up we will serve the cake and ice cream. I guess I should have left the ending time open so we could extend things if we decide to.

No plans for tomorrow. Wednesday I am meeting Jason for lunch to celebrate his birthday. I didn’t get my phone calls made to see if I could get copies of the CT scan and MRI. I couldn’t make myself do that today. I will try again tomorrow.

I am so out of time. Yesterday felt like it was three days long and today feels like it should be noon right now instead of almost 7:00pm. Time doesn’t make sense to me right now.

Got a donation of 40 stamps in the mail today. That is always appreciated. I love that people that have never donated before are stepping up and doing so. I wonder sometimes how I keep the program relevant and interesting so we attract new donors as well as keep our previous donors engaged.

Grateful to have found gluten-free cupcakes today, grateful we get to do a World Cup event for the Detainees, and grateful for new donors to Love in Action.

This has been the longest day. I woke up way too early and couldn’t go back to sleep. Makes for a long day when that happens. I attempted to take a nap twice and failed. Maybe I need to go back to Kindergarten and take nap class again!

Ops, I think I just dated myself as I don’t think they do naps in kindergarten any more. I didn’t go to kindergarten as they didn’t have it at the little rural school I went to. And no, it wasn’t a one-room school! I’m not that old!

This has been a quiet day at home. I did two loads of laundry and got them folded and put away so the day wasn’t a total loss. Other than that, I didn’t do much. I wrote a couple of the Pen Pals and was able to get one of them to re-engage with communication. It was good to hear from her as she hadn’t responded for a long time. Taught me not to give up on them.

A friend came over and we talked about a situation we are working together on. No easy answers to the situation but it is nice to have someone to share it with. The world feels a bit heavy to me tonight and it is nice to share that with someone that gets it.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia and pick up a prescription and check on getting some gluten free and diabetic cupcakes for the Detainees for the end of the week. I’m not sure if I have to order them in advance or not. I will pick up some groceries while I am in town.

I also need to make some calls and attempt to get copies of the CT scan and MRI that I had done sometime ago to the doctor I will be seeing next week. Not sure how I do that but will make some calls and figure it out. I may need to go to Topeka to get a copy of the MRI but am not sure.

Sitting with Love in Action and feeling like it is at a cross roads. Do we stay the course or do we attempt to go big? Not sure I have the bandwidth to go big, yet it is so frustrating to not be able to do more for the Detainees. I feel a push pull going on with positives and negatives for both ways. I also know that no matter how much we do we can’t do it all. Continue doing what we are doing or go big and add more knowing that we will run into our limits even then? The system is not set up for success and I can’t change policy at this low level I am working on. Accept my limitations and carry on?

Whatever path I am to take will let itself be known to me sooner or later. I think sitting with the possibilities is good and keeps me open to potential change. Maybe there is a compromise position that I can’t see right now.

This little project I started almost a year ago has already done more than I ever imagined. I don’t set goals or do a business plan. I rely on pixie dust and moon beams to lead the way! So far, it hasn’t led me astray.

Grateful laundry is done for another few days, grateful for a friend that is willing to get into the weeds with me, and grateful for what we have been able to do so far and the potential of doing more in the future.

This has felt like a Sunday to me after the festivities yesterday. Guess I get to have two Sunday’s this weekend. Trust I can get it straight in my head and not be messed up all week.

This has been a quiet, stay-at-home day. I did manage to make a tuna and noodle casserole for lunch. Had trouble getting it warm enough in the oven. Not sure if I usually bake it at a higher temp or if my oven is starting to act out. I thought 30 minutes at 350 would sufficed but it did not. I did add a bag of frozen peas so maybe that made it take longer than I thought it should.

Watched To Kill a Mockingbird this afternoon. During times like we are in right now, I am not sure much has changed since the movie was made and represented the late 20’s and early 30’s. Racism is just as alive now as it was then. Hurts my heart.

Got a request from one of the Detainees to see if Love in Action would do something for the World Cup finals on July 19. I sent a request to the person in charge. We shall see what they say. I am not a sports fan so wouldn’t have thought about doing anything. With so many Detainees from all parts of the world, it probably is a big deal to some of them.

We got lots of rain this morning. I hadn’t seen it rain that hard for a long time. It was hard to see the house right across the street for a bit as it was raining so hard. Bet we got over two inches in the short time it rained. We have big puddles in the yard again. It was nice to have it be a bit cooler today though.

Haven’t felt the best today. I had a bit of blood in my urine this morning. I have drank a lot of liquids today and it seems to be going away. I had some lower back pain and an uncomfortable fullness in my abdomen for a bit but that seems to have gone away too. I will keep an eye out and see what needs to be done. If all is OK tomorrow, I will check to see if my doctor will do a UA Monday. It doesn’t feel like a UTI and I don’t want a kidney infection to get away from me if that is what it is. If it comes back tomorrow, I may go to urgent care and see what they say. I don’t like to take oral antibiotics due to the risk of C-Diff. I do not want another episode of that to start.

Monday I need to double check and make sure it is OK to bring cupcakes to the Detainees on Friday for the birthday party Saturday. I had talked to the Captain a couple of weeks ago but we never did firm up the plans. I don’t want to assume something that I shouldn’t.

Monday I also need to try to figure out how to get a copy of the CT scan and MRI that were done on me to the doctor I am seeing the 14th. Not sure how I do that but will call and find out. Unfortunately the two different tests came from two different facilities so I will have to figure out two different things. I am betting both have different ways of proceeding.

I also need to call or go to Walmart and find out about getting a dozen gluten free cupcakes and a dozen for diabetics. I don’t know if I need to special order those or not. I have a prescription that is ready to be picked up so I will go in to get it and ask about the cupcakes. The place where I ordered the 13 dozen cupcakes and the sheet cake couldn’t take care of the special needs cupcakes.

No plans for tomorrow. I will have to remind myself that it is Sunday and not head to town thinking it is Monday.

Next week is rather empty. I will go to town Monday and take care of a few errands. I will probably go back Wednesday and take Jason out for lunch as it is his birthday. Friday I will go in and pick up the cake and cupcakes for Saturday. Saturday is the birthday party. I trust enough people will show up that it was worth doing. Would love to meet some of the donors so I can thank them in person. It still amazes me that strangers trust me and send me money for this project.

Hope there aren’t too many booms and pops tonight. There have been a few today. Mother Nature had her own booms and pops this morning with the lightening and thunder. Tomorrow night should be the last night of them for this year.

Nice to have a quiet day at home. The cooler weather was welcomed. I was able to sleep in a bit this morning as it was cloudy out and I didn’t realize how late it was. Time is doing its weird thing again and doesn’t make sense. I would struggle if I had to go back to work and have time deadlines during the day.

Enjoying the expanse of empty space today. I get my best ideas and intuition hits when I give myself lots of empty space to allow those thoughts and hits to surface. Solutions to problems that felt unsolvable come into my awareness when I am quiet enough to hear them.

Grateful for a dry house to ride out the rain in today, grateful for home made tuna and noodle casserole today, and grateful I get a second Sunday this week since today felt like a Sunday too.

Another hot summer day in KS. Man, it is not fit for beast or man outside.

I got more sleep last night than I have been getting although I did wake up about every hour but was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly most of the time. As is normal for me, when I get more sleep than I have been getting, I feel even more tired the next day.

I went to the Grand for lunch, They had some service issues today which is rare for them. I didn’t complain and ate what I got.

I walked up to the July 4th festivities that are happening downtown Cottonwood Falls around 6:00. I didn’t stay long though as it was way too hot. It was good for me to get out and walk a bit. I walked slow due to the heat.

I did run into a few people I knew. One couple lives a couple houses north of me. I walk by their house when I walk the dogs. I knew her but didn’t realize she lived there. I got to meet her husband and her granddaughter.

Came home dripping sweat. I have cooled off now and think I will stay tucked inside the rest of the night. Kathy was smart and didn’t even attempt to go downtown.

Haven’t gotten much done today. I got a donation in the mail for Love in Action and I wrote a thank you note to them. I have a birthday card lying on my desk for Jason. I will probably see if I can meet him for lunch on his birthday and take the card to him. I might change my mind and mail it in case we don’t get to meet up.

Nothing on my calendar for the weekend and next week. Hoping to get a few things done around here that are on my when I get to it list. They seem to wait patiently for me.

This has been another one of those days that after I eat the food seems to get stuck and doesn’t go down. I feel much fuller now than when I ate four hours ago. Sure hope the doctor I am going to in a couple of weeks can give me some answers as to why that happens. I was hoping the walk downtown would help but it hasn’t seem to yet. This doesn’t happen every day which is frustrating in its own way too.

A week from tomorrow is the Love in Action birthday party. I will do a media push the first of next week. I don’t have many people that have definitely said they are coming and lots that are interested. I will go with what I ordered for food and trust that it will feed all that come.

Next Friday I will got to Emporia and pick up the cake and cupcakes I ordered. The food is going to be delivered Saturday so that will make things easy for me that day. I will need some ice but I can get that Saturday morning. I like to keep things simple as it makes setting up, serving and cleaning up much easier.

The doctor I am seeing on the 14th called with a recorded reminder message today. The message said he wants the actual MRI and CT scan copies. Not sure how I arrange to get those to him. I will make some calls Monday and see if I can figure it out. He might have to make do with the written reports.

Sitting in a weird place again tonight. The restlessness has been high level today. The world energy is doing some funky stuff and the time thing is messing with my mind. Make it make sense!

Grateful for the extra sleep I got last night, grateful for a cool house to relax in and grateful for all those that are working so hard to put on a July festival downtown Cottonwood Falls. Just not my thing.

Kathy nor I slept much at all last night. Not sure what is up with that. We both tried all our tricks and none of them worked. I attempted a nap this afternoon and couldn’t find sleep then either.

I went to the post office this morning and got some stamps. I took part of them by the Detention Center and brought the rest of them home. I bought extras as stamp prices are going up next week.

I fixed both of my license plates on the cars. There is a new state law that went into effect July 1 giving cops the right to pull one over if any part of the information on the license plate is covered by a plate frame. Both of my cars had plate frames from the dealership where I purchased the car from and the frame covered the top part of the word Kansas on the plate.

I didn’t have too much trouble taking off the plates but then I needed to order more screws to hold the plate firm. The plate frame held the plate in place with only two screws and now I need four.

I called the Sheriff’s office and asked if they would have a public service day where people could come in and get assistance with making sure their plates are now legal. I’m not sure he knew what I was talking about but since I have noticed he put a post up about the change. He hasn’t offered up an assistance day but still might do that.

I don’t think some people could manage to fix their plates themselves. Supposedly you can get up to a $2,500 fine plus jail time although here is to be a six-month warning time.

This new change seems likely to me to be a way that cops can racially profile drivers and it will be another way for them to justify pulling over someone that doesn’t look white. I may be wrong but given our current legislation in KS I would be surprised if I am.

I sent a text to my kids to let them know about the change. Not sure what they will do about it but they have been warned. To all my friends on here, take heed.

Haven’t gotten much done today. I’m very tired and have no energy. I may get something done later, but not counting on it. Maybe tonight will be the night I get lots of sleep and will have the energy to get lots done tomorrow.

Not sure if I will go to the festivities in town tomorrow evening or not. I know I won’t stay to see the fireworks. If it is as hot tomorrow as it has been today I probably won’t go. I don’t enjoy crowds on a good day and when you add the heat to the mix I don’t see much to attract me to go.

No plans for the weekend or next week for that matter. Lots of empty space ahead for me. It is too hot to go outside and do much so I will enjoy my time as a hermit and stay in. Hopefully I will find things inside to keep me busy.

The birthday party for Love in Action is July 11 so it is just a little over a week away. I got some more supplies today that I had ordered from Amazon for the party. Still waiting on one more shipment than I think I have all I need. The day before the party I will go to Emporia and pick up the cake and cupcakes, the ice cream cups and ice for the beverages. The food is being delivered the day of the party so I won’t have to deal with that. I trust I have ordered enough food and that some people will come. I look forward to meeting some of the supporters.

This has been one of those days where it is hard to hold on to a thought. My brain feels quiet and empty today. It was over used yesterday so I am grateful for a quiet day today.

Grateful the stamp supply has been replenished, grateful for A/C that works on this hot and humid summer day, and grateful I was able to fix my license plates so they are now legal.

Not one of my better days. Got an email this morning that hit a nerve and I have struggled to recover. At least I know why I am in the muck pond. I will relax, take a mud bath and walk out when I am finished feeling all the feels.

I did four loads of laundry and got it all put away. Put clean sheets on my bed and deep cleaned my bathroom. The day wasn’t a total loss.

I realized today I don’t have a succession plan for Love in Action. I need to find someone that would take it over for me in case something would happen to me. I have a couple of people in mind but haven’t approached anyone yet. Maybe it can be broken into pieces and different people would take care of different parts of it. I can think of some who would be good at managing the Facebook page, some who would be good at building a relationship with the staff at the Center and some that would be good handling the occasional transfer. So far, not sure who I would ask to do all of it though. I will give it some more thought and see what I can come up. I don’t anticipate having to step away but successful nonprofits always have a back-up plan just in case.

The Center let me know they need more stamps. I have given them 720 stamps in the last two weeks. Found out the person that handles the program put stamps on all the new cards that were sent and she doesn’t have any leftover to put on the envelopes so the Detainees can become a Pen Pal. Dang it anyways. I will go buy some more stamps tomorrow and take them up to her. I wish they would stamp the cards when they are ready to be mailed and not in advance. I worry that lots of stamps get wasted this way but I don’t know that for sure. Some things I have no control over and I have to learn to be grateful for what I get.

One of the Detainees reached out and asked if they could have tacos for celebration of the World Cup finals on July 19. I can’t make that happen unfortunately. Maybe I can get them popsicles or something like that instead. We are so limited as to what we can do.

No plans for the rest of the week. I hope to get some more housecleaning done. The clean bathroom reminded me I really do enjoy a clean house and I have not had the motivation for a long time to deep clean. Thank heavens this house is small and it really doesn’t take that long to deep clean each room. The big country house would take hours and hours of cleaning to get it clean.

Sitting in a weird head space today. I will take it as progress that I have been talking myself out of where I am at today and when the talk became negative, I would correct myself. Not sure I am aware of having done that before.

Grateful for the laundry all put away, grateful for a clean bathroom, and grateful for the mud bath I took today in the muck pond.

June went by so fast to me. This year is already half over and I still stop and think when I write 2026. That time thing and I have trouble relating these days.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I took a late nap yesterday and paid for it with not being able to sleep last night. I am tired this afternoon but will do my best to stay up and attempt to get a long, good sleep tonight. I am way overdue to crash and burn and sleep lots.

I went to Emporia to go to the eye Doctor. My appointment was at 12:15. I was done by 12:20. It was the fastest eye appointment I have ever had. I went next door and ordered a new pair of glasses. They will be in late next week, if not before.

I went to Applebee’s for lunch and then came home. I stopped at the bank in Cottonwood Falls to make another deposit and then escaped the heat and have stayed inside all afternoon. It is not fit for man or beast outside today.

I got the month-end report for Love in Action posted. I attempted to post it on my desktop and had trouble adding the links for PayPal, VENMO, and Zeffy. Switched to my iPad and had success. I wished I understood links and how to manage them better. I swear they work differently every time I attempt to do them. When I make them work, I am never sure how I did it.

No plans for the rest of the week and through the weekend. I didn’t get groceries today as I couldn’t think of anything I needed. If I think of something I will go to the Dollar General and get it there. Hoping I won’t have to go back to Emporia this week. We shall see if I can make that happen.

I do need to send a note to the Sergeant that runs the card and stamp program at the Detention Center. I can’t remember if I told her I dropped some stamps off for her last week. Sometimes when I drop a package off she doesn’t get it unless she knows to look for it. I also need her help to reset the Pen Pal program. We haven’t gotten any new requests to join the program from the Detainees in a long time. We made some changes that I hope will help us build a stronger program. We shall see if it survives or not.

Dug out the paint I am going to use to paint the front door. It is too hot to paint this afternoon but maybe if I go to bed early I will get up early enough to get it done tomorrow before it gets too hot. That has been on my to-do list for a long time and for some reason the urge to get it done has just now hit.

I have some painting to do on the outside of the house but it is going to have to cool down before I can do that. Phil got most of it done this spring but there are some rafters that are still bare that need a coat of paint on them.

I am slowing working or reorganizing the back room. It is looking too cluttered for my taste. I need to find things to get rid of. One can only reorganize clutter so often before one realizes that isn’t the real issue. The room has too much stuff in it and I need to purge.

This is the time of year that usually things slow down for me. The long, hot days of summer kick in and I tuck myself inside and it takes a lot to get me to come out and play. Good thing I like staying home and can do so for days at a time. Nothing feels too urgent or important right now.

Feeling a bit of restlessness again. Haven’t felt it for a bit but it is starting to come back. Wonder what it has to tell me this time? Sometimes I find out and sometimes I don’t. The trick is for me to stay curious about it and stay open to whatever happens. Sometimes I am successful at that, and sometimes not so much.

Grateful new glasses got ordered today, grateful I am privileged enough to be able to stay inside during the summer heat, and grateful for the empty space ahead.

Went to Emporia late morning to get a haircut. Stopped at the bank in Cottonwood Falls on my way out of town to make a deposit. I went to a different bank when I got in Emporia and made a withdrawal.

Picked up Ellexia and we went out for lunch. Found out she had a friend over for the night but the friend was still sleeping. I didn’t discover this until we were done with lunch or I would have ordered something to go for her friend.

Took Ellexia home and then went through the car wash and gave my car a bath. Took two sacks of books I have read to the library to give to the Friends of the Library so they can resell them at their next book sale.

Went to my hairdresser and got my hair cut. He gave me a very short summer cut this time. Found out he is retiring September 4 so I will only get one more haircut from him. Dang, I do not like breaking in new-to-me hairdressers. It is hard to find someone that knows how to cut short hair. Anyone know of someone?

Came home after my haircut and got the mail. I got another donation for Love in Action plus I got a VENMO deduction this morning. Always a good day when a donation or two come in.

Took a nap this afternoon. Not sure why I was so tired but I was so I gave myself the gift of a nap. Had a weird dream and woke myself up to change the dream channel and decided I better get up and not sleep some more or I won’t sleep tonight.

The neighbor mowed our lawn this morning. It sure looks nice with its haircut and trim. He even brought over his weed eater and took care of that. This hot humid weather is not good for Kathy to be out in so I appreciated that he took care of the weed-eating so she wouldn’t be out doing it.

Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment at 12:15. Not sure how long that will take but I will stop and have lunch afterwards. I don’t think I have more errands to take care of but didn’t think I had any to do today and found several things to take care of. I need to check to see if I need any groceries and take care of that while I am in town. Then I will get to stay home for the rest of the week. Two trips to Emporia in one week is enough for me.

Got notice that my renewal for my notary was approved and finalized. Now I am good to go until 08/01/2030. That feels like a long time into the future.

Will need to post the month-end report for Love in Action Wednesday. I also need to create a post for the stamp drive. I have mentioned it in several posts but haven’t highlighted it with a post of its own. Need to make one final list of things I need for the birthday party. I think I have the rest of the stuff but need to dig it all out to make sure.

Have lots of empty space on my calendar after the appointment tomorrow. Nothing else on my calendar until sometime next week. I think I am becoming a hermit and I prefer to stay home these days. It is too peopley out there for me most days. Too much stirred up energy out there that is easy for me to pick up.

Tonight is the full moon. Maybe things will settle down again for a bit after tonight. The energy has felt stirred up and chaotic to me lately. Hard not to get caught up in it all.

I do need to call a few friends and get some one-on-one time scheduled. I so love having deep conversations with people that aren’t afraid to be completely vulnerable and are willing to go deep. They do my heart and soul good.

Grateful for a haircut, grateful for time with Ellexia, and grateful for a nap on a hot summer day.

Summer has arrived. Low 90’s and windy today. The heat sucks the whatever right out of you today. It is to remain like this all week. Typical summer weather. The dogs have decided they need to spend the afternoons inside due to the heat. Neither one seem interested in going back outside yet.

Kathy and I went to Jacalito’s for lunch. It was nice to eat out for a change together. Haven’t done much else today. Too hot to go outside and not much to do inside.

I did manage to get a letter written to my Pen Pal volunteers. I made some mistakes setting up the program and need to do a reset. I had limited the number of times we write to weekly and that was a mistake. A week is a long time in the Center for the Detainees and some needed more attention than that. I was concerned initially about the cost if we had lots of Detainees sign up and I was concerned about the pressure it would put on my volunteers if they had to write more than once a week.

I also needed to better state expectations of the volunteers. Some take several weeks to respond and the Detainees lost faith in the program. I now have a way out if they take too long.

Hopefully with these and a few other small changes the program can rest and we can get more Detainees to sign up. I need to send a note to the person that does the program inside the Center and let her know what changes we have made so she can promote the program again.

When you know better, you do better and that is what I hope I have done.

Tomorrow I have a haircut at 2:00. If I remember I will check with Ellexia to see if she wants to have lunch again since I will be in town. I don’t think I have any errands I need to run otherwise.

I get to go back to Emporia Tuesday as I have an eye appointment at 12:15. Another chance to eat lunch out!

No plans for the rest of the week or the weekend. I wish I could escape the fireworks that have started in the evenings. They sound violent to me and I don’t appreciate them.

Wednesday I will post the month end report for Love in Action. I also need to make a special post about the stamp drive we are doing. Stamps are the biggest expense we have and the more stamps people send, the farther our funds go for special events for the Detainees. The donors like to have something to do and getting stamps and mailing them is something that is much appreciated.

Need to finish rounding up the last few items I need for the birthday party July 11. It will be here in less than two weeks. Still have no idea how many to expect. I picked a number and hope I am close and don’t have tons of leftovers.

Felt good to step away from Facebook for a day or two. I always feel better when I remember to surrender and let go. I forget that is a daily practice and not something that you do once and you are done.

Grateful for lunch out with Kathy today, grateful the letter got sent to the Pen Pals, and grateful when I know better I can do better.

I am all shades of messed up today. I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I was up and down all night. I finally fell asleep this morning around 8:00 and slept until noon. That does a number in my head with time which I am not good to start with.

Did some rearranging in the back room today. It is amazing how a bit of reorganizing can change the look of the space. I still have more to do but it has some empty space now which I appreciate.

It has been an interesting week. I made a post about a detainee from Germany and I think I must have touched a nerve. I am grateful I turned off comments as I didn’t have the bandwidth to handle them. Not that it prevented people from getting their feelings to me.

I was called a cold-hearted bitch for not using Love in Action funds to help the family. Guess that is one way to look at it!

What that person doesn’t know is what is happening behind the scenes with a media contact or two and a family that is quietly working with the family offering support.

I have long held an unhealthy belief that I had to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and take care of others myself. Sitting and bearing witness is new to me too. And to my utter surprise and delight, others can and do step forward to pick up the load.

I suppose to the outside world, bearing witness can look like I am being a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe there is some truth in that. Any maybe I am breaking an old habit that no longer serves me and I am allowing others to carry the load.

Oh the lessons Love in Action dish up for me. Some are easier ones to learn than others. Maybe this person gave me one of my best lessons yet as I had to do a gut check and really look at my why and my boundaries and gave me the opportunity to hold them or to revert to my old patterns of behavior.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I am going to take another quiet day but hopefully find some sleep tonight and be back “in” time tomorrow.

Monday and Tuesday I have appointments in Emporia so will be going to town both days. The rest of the week looks open so far.

It is almost time to write the month-end report for Love in Action. I did some numbers today to make sure my bank account is in balance with what I record. I had forgotten to record a check I had received but figured that out what the discrepancy was rather quickly. I need to learn how to edit my report so it isn’t so long.

I am sitting with the Pen Pal program and I know I need to make some changes. Am bouncing some ideas in my head about it and haven’t settled on all the solutions yet. I’m afraid due to our lack of responses we may have a rough time getting the Detainees to trust us again and get more Pen Pals to sign up. Part of that is my fault, as I limited the number of responses to once a week. That turned out to not be a good call. I was concerned about fairness and overburdening the Pen Pals on our end. I was also concerned about the expenses of daily contact in case there were lots of Pen PALs. Live and learn and adjust the plan!

Live is certainly an adventure these days. I think I have all this empty space and nothing is happening but man is that wrong. I am finding more and more old patterns of behavior surface that need my attention and then I get to make a decision if I want to change that pattern. The hardest part for me is not seeing the patterns. For some reason, they are surfacing right now in bunches.

Grateful for what sleep I did get even though the timing was off, grateful for a hurtful comment as it gave me the opportunity to examine my intentions, and grateful for the surfacing of old patterns that no longer serve me.

This has been a day. I got woke up with a phone call from a reporter wanting some quotes about how the current immigration policies are impacting real people. I am currently sitting in a state of anger from an immigration situation that feels hard. Not sure I gave him what he needed. I sent a note to him this afternoon and apologized.

The detainee from Germany is in a pickle. He reached out for some help and Love in Action is not set up to help him. What we do for one we have to do for all and there are 119 others at the Center that have their own hard stories. I posted the below on Facebook today.

TRIGGER WARNING

The following update is hard to read and sit with. Love in Action was created to support the Detainees while they are being held at the Chase County Detention Center located in Cottonwood Falls, KS. It was not created to solve individual Detainee situations. This is just one of the Detainees story and situation. The Center houses 119 other ICE Detainees with similar stories.

We are being called to bear witness to their stories and allow the feelings that arise in us to find ways to help change our broken systems. May bearing witness to this story encourage you to find ways to soften your heart and offer more grace and compassion to ALL of your neighbors.

This is an update on the Detainee that was born in Germany to a German mother and a US citizen father that was in the military. The Detainee was brought to the US by his father when he was 16-years-old. For whatever reason, his US citizenship request by being the son of an American father was denied. He has been detained since December, 2025.

Recently the Detainee was granted I-130 status which is citizenship through being married to a US Citizen. However, he now needs his I-485 Green card application approved.

The Trump administration’s new directive to USCIS makes filing an I-485 to adjust status within the United States an “extraordinary discretionary relief”. USCIS officers are instructed to treat consular processing (applying from outside the U.S.) as the default method for obtaining a green card, making U.S.-based adjustment of status the rare exception. He is being detained so going to Germany to apply is not in his control.

This Detainee needs to obtain a specific physical which can cost between $2,000 – $3,000 to complete. How he is to do that while being detained is still unknown. His wife is struggling with the attorney fees they have already paid and continue to occur. This process has been in the works for over three years now and they have already paid out close to $40,000 in attorney fees. Every time he has a court appearance (which is monthly) the attorney charges him $500.

He has no timeline for this to come to an end and no guarantee that his application for the I-485 will be approved. The normal processing time can take up to 24 months and USCIS is overwhelmed currently and processing times are stretching far beyond the expected timeframe. He continues to sit in the Detention Center through this process unable to earn any income to support his family.

If the family had an extra $5,000 for attorney fees, they could file a Writ of Mandamus which would force USCIS to make a quicker decision. However, they have reached their maximum credit limit with what they have spent so far.

Both the Detainee and the wife are starting to have physical and mental issues due to the stress of this situation.

I have disabled comments on this post.

I had to disable comments as I don’t have the bandwidth to respond to comments today. I have received a couple PM’s already though. Dang, this is hard sometimes.

I did have two highlights of the day though. I got the mail on my way to Emporia late morning and received three donations for Love in Action. I got a check for $300 and another one for $20. I also got a book of stamps. All donations are appreciated and welcome. After the hard start to this morning it was a wonderful reminder that we are doing some good even on the days when it feels like it isn’t enough.

I made a double batch of Chocolate No Bake Cookies and took some to Ellexia and Jason when I met them for lunch. Kathy and I have enjoyed the leftovers today.

I picked up Ellexia and we met Jason for lunch. Always a good day when I get to spend time with some of my loved ones. Ellexia and I went to Walmart after lunch and I got my groceries and then I took her home. She was going to take a shower and then take a nap. She had woken up at 9:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. She said it was way too early to wake up! Oh the life of a teenager.

While I was in town I stopped and picked up some new parts for my sleep apnea machine. The cushions around my mouth had stretched out and I was eligible for a free replacement part. Trusting that will make using the machine a bit easier again. Lately it has been bugging me at night and I have taken it off a couple of nights and not used it all night.

“My momma said there would be days like this – my momma said.” Isn’t that a song from long ago? Sure feels true today! What a roller coaster of a day.

Nothing on my calendar for the next two days. I need to put myself into time-out until I can settle with my anger. I am so tired of a system that puts people down and makes it impossible for them to navigate through. What are we doing? I will come to grips with this sooner or later. Right now I need to allow myself all the feels so it will pass and I can get back to helping others with what little I can.

Next week I have a haircut in Emporia on Monday and then an eye doctor appointment on Tuesday. I don’t think I have any other plans for the rest of the week. We shall see if the empty space holds open.

This has been a day where my tears keep falling. I must have been holding some hard feelings I wasn’t aware of and needed to release them. I trust I won’t stay in the muck pond long as it is hard to think logically when I am in there. I know solutions for all problems are available and one is in place that is helping make a difference already. The rest will fall into place sooner or later.

Grateful for time with Ellexia and Jason today, grateful for reporters that do their best to tell the stories of the immigrants, and grateful for all those that support Love in Action in big and small ways.

Happy heavenly birthday to Gene. I missed fixing a birthday package to send to him this year. It still feels weird when I think he is gone.

I took my car to the gas station to get the oil changed. About halfway through, a friend came in to get her car worked on. We had a nice conversation and made the time go by quicker. It was lightly raining when I got there and was grateful they were able to fit my car right in and I didn’t have to walk home in the rain.

Got another donation for Love in Action in the mail today. It feels like Christmas time around here with all the gifts coming in.

I got a call from the eye doctor and got an appointment scheduled for next week. I called the utility company I sent paperwork to and confirmed that they had received it. Not sure what there next more will be and not expecting it to happen anytime soon. The lady I spoke with thought it was rather cut and dry but a lawyer has to approve it. We shall see what happens.

The tablecloths for the Love in Action birthday party came in today. One more thing checked off my list for the party. I am going to Emporia tomorrow and hope to get a few more things after lunch.

Ellexia is going to join Jason and I for lunch tomorrow. It will be a treat to have lunch with both of them. Not sure where we are going but it really doesn’t matter.

Sitting with a situation with a Detainee at the Center. Man, some of these situations can break your heart. I really have to wonder why we make it so difficult and put people in impossible situations. I think this is just one of hundreds of thousands going through this. No easy answers, no guarantees, and lots of money spent with no way of knowing what might happen.

I’m not sure I ever woke up all the way today. It has felt like a long day for some reason. Not much energy or motivation to do much. The rain today kinda fit my mood. Maybe it is washing something away.

So far the ten-day forecast looks like the rain is moving on out and it is to warm up and be in the 90’s most days. I don’t do well in the heat but I am ready for some sunshine. It won’t be long before we will be wishing the rain was back.

No plans for the weekend. Monday I have a haircut and Tuesday an eye doctor appointment so will have to go to Emporia twice next week. One of those days I will stop and get some groceries and attempt to get the rest of the things on my list for the birthday party. I like to get things early as it helps me relax about the party.

Grateful for the oil change and conversation with my friend, grateful the rain is almost to move on out, and grateful I get to have lunch with my son and granddaughter tomorrow.

This has been a bit of a productive stay-at-home day. I got several little things taken care of which feels good.

I finally got the pages from my blog three-holed punched and into a binder. I didn’t print them in the right order so had to collate them which was a bit of a pain but I got it done. Thank heavens I only had half the year and not the whole year to do.

I got the paperwork filled out to send to my bank about the required withdrawal from my IRA that will happen later this year. They sent a twelve page set of papers and it looked intimidating but when I sat down to do it I found it wasn’t too bad. They have several pages to fill out if I wanted a wire transfer which I don’t need so I was able to throw away those pages. Good to have that paperwork completed and in the mail.

Got four thank you notes written and in the mail for Love in Action. I got another book of stamps in the mail today from a first time donor. It is good that we are still attracting new donors. This book makes four books of stamps so far for our stamp drive. I also had received two rolls of stamps from a donor earlier this month.

Made goulash for lunch. I had remembered to lay out some hamburger last night and got it made late morning. Not sure why I was craving it but it hit the spot. I like goulash leftovers so will eat more of it tomorrow. I added a can of corn to it today and enjoyed that. Snuck in some veggies! I am not a good veggie eater so I appreciate when I can eat some.

Got two thank you PenPal notes today from Detainees expressing their appreciation for the Father’s Day treats of Coke and M&M’s. I shared those posts on the Love in Action Facebook page. One of them requested a large print Bible be sent to the Center and someone has already ordered that and taken care of that request.

Made a post about the three new ways to donate to Love in Action. I was able to find the links to each of the new ways to donate and they all work. I wasn’t able to do that yesterday and I don’t know what I did differently today to make that happen. Somedays technology and I are not on speaking terms and somedays it works with me. Wish I knew how I did it so I could easily do it again.

I didn’t hear back from the eye doctor so I called and left another message today. I wonder if his office will call me back or if I need to find someone else. I tell you, customer service doesn’t seem to be what it used to be.

Phil is coming over in a bit to install the window A/C unit for the backroom. I had ordered it when the house was hot thinking the central A/C unit couldn’t keep up. The next day I discovered the central unit was broken. I am still going to have it put in and we will use it on really hot days to give the central unit a bit of a break. I trust it will fit – I measured it twice but sometimes there are things I don’t know about things that bites me in the ass.

Tomorrow I take my car to get the oil changed at 1:00. Not sure if they will do it when I get there or if I will walk home and then back up there when it is done. Last time I left it they forgot to call and tell me it was ready to come home. I don’t have anywhere to go until next Monday so guess they can keep it for a bit if needed.

No plans for the weekend. I haven’t decided if I am going to a Rally on Saturday or not. I struggle with the energy at them and am doing a birthday party for Love in Action in July instead of putting together a rally locally. I have to be careful not to involve Love in Action in a political event as that is prohibited by the rules of being a 501(c)3. It is to be hot Saturday and I don’t do well in the heat. We shall see what I do.

Felt good to get a few little things done today. I tend to put things off and then it feels like I have a lot to do when really I don’t. Funny how my mind can blow things out of proportion to reality. It is something I have become aware of and am working to adjust my thinking.

Grateful for the little projects I accomplished today, grateful for homemade goulash, and grateful for the stamps that are coming in for Love in Action.

This has been a much better day for me. I actually was able to accomplish everything on my list today.

I started with a trip to the Court House to add a beneficiary to my car titles. Stephanie did a great job learning how to do this. I’m sure it isn’t something that happens everyday. It did take a bit to get both cars done but it is kinda complicated to do. I am to get new titles within the next six weeks or so.

After that got taken care of I went to the Post Office to get stamps. I had hoped they would have rolls of stamps today but they didn’t come in so had to get books of stamps. They are not quite as easy to use, but will do the trick.

I came home and packaged them up and then took them to the Detention Center for Heather.

Went to Emporia and went to North Reeble’s, although it is called something else now. I ordered a sheet cake and 13 dozen cupcakes for the July 11 event. I was pleased to see they still have their bakery. I still need to get a dozen gluten free cupcakes and a dozen cupcakes for diabetics ordered but I will get those somewhere else.

I went to Bobby D’s and had lunch and then placed my catering order. They aren’t charging for mileage which was nice and they are providing plates, silverware, napkins, serving spoons, buns, etc. They are to deliver the food by 11:30. That will make that day much easier for me.

Filled my car up with gas and came home. I had thought about going in Walmart and getting some groceries but I was peopled out and had to come home. When I got home I took a short nap.

Someone had ordered two books of stamps and had them shipped to me for the stamp drive I am doing for Love in Action. Those little gestures of sharing love is what keeps me going most days. I so appreciate the support.

After my nap I made an appointment to get the oil on my car changed, booked a haircut and an eye doctor appointment. Somedays those calls are hard to make so I am grateful I was able to get all three calls made. The eye doctor’s office didn’t answer and are to call me back – we shall see if they do.

I managed to get two loads of laundry washed, dried and put away today. Love when I can get that done all on the same day. Somedays I can’t do that.

I am working on a post for Love in Action that will include the links to all three new ways of giving. I thought I had it figured out but only one of the three links worked so had to delete the post. I put that post in time-out and will try again another day. Not sure why that seems to be hard for me but most days it is. When I do figure it out, I’m never quite sure what I did to make it work so it is hard to do it correctly again.

I have a couple thank you notes to write for Love in Action. My bank sent me the paperwork to fill out so I can take the required withdrawal from my IRA since I will be turning 73 this year. I have some time to get it filled out. When I am in the right mood I will tackle that. Sometimes that paperwork is hard to do as they use terms I have to look up to make sure I understand what they are asking for. I don’t have a very large IRA so the withdrawal is not very big so I don’t think I can mess it up too badly if I don’t do the paperwork correctly.

Have an idea for a new project for Love in Action. It is extremely hard to figure out what platform to use for what to get aide to the Detainees. One platform provides email access, a different platform is used to put funds in their commissary accounts, yet another platform is used for visitation. I would like to develop a website that clearly states which platform is used for what with instructions on how to proceed. I would have to develop a website plus figure out how to connect the families to the website. After the birthday party I will have a conversation with the Sheriff and Captain and see if they will cooperate and pass along the information to the detainee families.

Currently there is a lot of conflicting information on the various sites stating what platforms they use. Not sure if they change platforms frequently or if maintaining the various websites that list the information is a low priority. I can’t imagine being a stressed family member and trying to figure it all out. Lots of rabbit holes to fall down into when navigating all of that.

Have no idea how much this would all cost and how difficult it would be to build a website, etc. I think the biggest challenge will be to get the information to the family members on the outside that need it. We shall see where this all goes. It is in the very beginnings of forming into a plan in my head right now.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. Thursday I take the car in for an oil change. I usually drive it up and walk home and then walk back up to get it when it is done. Sometimes I time it right and they can take it right back while I wait for it.

No plans for the weekend so far. Monday I have a haircut and need to go by the vet’s office and pick up Flea and Tick medication for the critters when I am done with my hair cut. The rest of the week looks rather empty right now.

Grateful for an easier day today, grateful I crossed off several things from my to-do list, and grateful two more books of stamps showed up for the stamp drive.

This has been a hard day for me. Nothing felt easy. Grateful this is not normal and only happens rarely.

First thing I tried to do was confirm the small deposits PayPal had sent to the Love in Action bank account. The button I needed was hidden on my keyboard and it was hard to get it to scroll to find. That must have taken me an hour to figure out what was going on.

I went to the bank in Cottonwood Falls to get my notary application notarized. I was going to take it to the post office and mail it when I was done so I had taken a stamped envelope. I discovered I had thrown away page three as it was only instructions. Had to go home and get page three just in case that was really needed.

Went to the post office to get four rolls of stamps and they were out of stamps. Geez!

I took a deposit to the bank and forgot to write the account number on the deposit slip. First time I have done that.

I took my car titles up to the court house to add a beneficiary to the title. I had to leave them as the lady said it takes quite a while to process that. I have to go back up tomorrow to pick them up.

Supposedly in VENMO you can transfer funds from one VENMO account to another but when I have attempted to do that they sorry, we can’t do that. Guess I will do it the slow way. Like I said, nothing seems easy today.

I got the bill from the repair of the A/C. The bill was over $200 and the part that was broken was $2. Ouch!

I finally decided to go back to bed and take a nap and start this day over. None of the hard stuff was really important stuff, just frustrating that I found so many roadblocks. I’m not sure I got much accomplished today and had expectations that I would. That expectation thing bit me in the ass again!

I didn’t make it to Emporia today. Decided it was best to stay home and try again another day when things are easier. Hoping I can make it tomorrow and get the food and cakes ordered for the birthday party.

I think I will finish binge watching my show and finish reading the book I am reading and not attempt to get anything else done today. When things are hard, that is my sign from the Universe to drop things and let them sit. Tomorrow is a new day and things will be easier then.

My momma said there would be days like this! I know that you have to go low in order to go high. I remind myself of this and that makes the low days feel more purposeful.

Grateful this was a rare day of roadblocks, grateful tomorrow is a new day, and grateful I was able to realize what was happening and able to drop things and not keep pushing through.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go out for lunch but other than that have stayed home and not done much. I am finishing up binge watching a show I started a couple days ago.

Got an email from PayPal that told me I am eligible to sign Love in Action up for a VENMO account. WTF? How come they didn’t offer that before I got a charity PayPal account. From all I read it said I couldn’t use VENMO for a charity. I am so confused.

They are validating the bank account and then I can change the VENMO link in to the Love in Action account and I can get my personal VENMO account back.

Hoping all of this is clearer to me by the time I do the month-end report. It will be nice to introduce a couple new ways for donors to donate. Some have been asking for PayPal. Zeffy will be a new one with no fees that seem easy to use. Most of the donors are used to VENMO so the only change will be the address.

Tomorrow I need to go to the Post Office and get four rolls of stamps for the Center. Then I will deliver them and then I am going to Emporia to order the lunch for the birthday party from one vendor. Am going to a different one to order the birthday cake and cupcakes from another one. Maybe if I time it right, I can have lunch in town since I will be at a restaurant. I also need to take a form to the bank and get it notarized so I can mail in my application for the renewal of my notary certification.

It will be a good thing to have the things for the birthday party ordered. I will still have a few things to gather but for the most part after I get the orders placed, I will be ready.

I don’t have any plans for next week after I take care of my errands on Monday. Lots of empty space ahead for me. Not sure what I am going to do with it. Today it feels overwhelming and a bit intimidating. Tomorrow it may feel opening and welcoming.

I missed texting Craig today to thank him for being the father to my children. Even after the divorce we would do that for each other on these days. Thinking it was a challenging day for the kids. I am grateful for the wonderful memories though that pour forth.

Feeling a bit isolated today. I know it is a feeling and not a fact or truth. Trusting if I give it some love and attention it will disappear after teaching me whatever it is I am to learn.

Grateful for Craig and the love he shared with our kids, grateful the PayPal and VENMO thing is almost done, and grateful the party plans are well underway.

I woke up early this morning so it has been a long day. I did try to get more sleep late morning but was unsuccessful. I am still in my pajamas so it has been a stay-at-home type of day.

I did manage to get Charity PayPal on-line for Love in Action. I also hooked up Zeffy and got that on-line. I posted both of those to one of the month-end updates on the Love in Action site but haven’t officially announced them.

I also dug out the paperwork I need to name a beneficiary on my car titles. I think I found the right paperwork from the state that I have to fill out but I will go up to the Court House and have them give it to me.

I purchased the surety bond that I need to renew my notary license. I have the application all filled out and need to take it and get it notarized so I can mail it in.

Nicole and Geoff’s wedding anniversary is today. They have been married six years already. They threaded the needle and found a short window to have a back yard wedding with their closest friends and family there. It was a beautiful day and we were all grateful no one came down with Covid afterwards.

No plans for tomorrow. I might take another pajama day. It is nice to have a couple stay-at-home days where I sit and relax and then go to the desk and get things done. I have a little project I want to finish up tomorrow.

Monday I need to get the Detention Center some more stamps and take them up to them. They received a bunch more cards and I knew that request was coming. The Sergeant that runs the program likes to pre-stamp the envelopes before she hands them out and keeps her cart full of them. When I take the stamps to the Center I want to take a printed invitation to the birthday party July 11. I am anxious to hear how the pop and M&M event goes over for Father’s Day tomorrow.

I want to go to Emporia Monday and get the food order placed for the birthday party. I have decided to cater it as I worked some numbers and it is a bit more expensive but not really that much. I also need to order a cake and cupcakes. The party is in three weeks and I like to give my vendors lots of notice. Still have no idea how many will come but am going to pick a number and go from there.

Summer Solstice tonight. Time seems to slow down during this time of year for me. I do feel my gifts are fully present and being put into service in a new way for me. Things feel easy for the most part which is how I know I am using my gifts.

Grateful for a stay-at-home day, grateful I got the Charity PayPal up and running after six months of trying, and grateful to celebrate Nicole and Geoff today.

This has felt like a long day. I was surprised when I looked at the clock and it is only 4:30. I assumed it would be at least 6:00 if not later.

I did two loads of laundry and got them folded and put away. Yay for me. Kathy said sometimes you have the celebrate the small wins and that is what that feels like to me when I manage to get things folded and put away the same day they are washed.

Our neighbor came over and mowed our yard for the first time today. She came in afterwards and we had a wonderful conversation. I shared with her the history of Love in Action. She brought over a book of stamps. I gave her a couple packages of the grass-fed beef for her to try to make sure she will like the beef that is coming early August.

She told me about an app that caters to nonprofits called Zeffy. I might explore that as an option to collect donations for Love in Action. They don’t charge funds unless someone chooses to donate to them. You can enter a card information or bank accounts and pay that way. Something to explore, especially if I can’t get PayPal Charity to get up and running. It would be nice to find one that doesn’t charge fees.

Some friends dropped by and we had a wonderful conversation about a mutual acquaintance. I feel like a weight I was carrying got picked up and taken from me. I am forever in their debt.

I am working on making copies of my blog. I try to do that two or three times a year. I still have a couple months to go before I finish that little project. I can only request print on about nine days at a time and then I have to wait a bit. If I try to do too many, the printer stops and I have to start over. Good lesson in patience for me.

I took a check up to the Detention Center. I was informed last night that what I paid for the M&M treats wasn’t enough. The person at the Center had misunderstood the pricing sheet and didn’t order enough quantity. I had thought the price was way too low to start with so wasn’t too surprised when I got the email last night. Thankful I had extra funds to cover the additional expense easily.

Summer Solstice is Sunday. Time seems to slow down for me around the Solstice. We are invited to take a moment and honor the light that surrounds us and is within us. Light sustains us and carries us through the hard times. You are light! Light is love!

No plans for the weekend or next week for that matter. Have a few little tasks to do around the house. Getting my blog printed was one of those. Doing some cleaning is another. Getting my notary renewal application completed is on my to-do list for the weekend. Deciding what food to serve for the Love in Action Birthday Party is on the list too. Need to order a cake and cupcakes and if I decide to have it catered I need to get that order placed. I also need to write out an invitation for the Detention Center staff and get that to them. Lots of little things to take care of.

Sitting in amazement with how the Universe works. Problems are discovered and answers come with little effort when things are in alignment. Trust and patience! I think that needs to be my new mantra.

Grateful for a neighbor that will barter, grateful for friends that stepped up to the plate and took care of something, and grateful for Summer Solstice that invites us to be grateful for the light that surrounds us and is within each of us.

Neither Kathy nor I slept much last night. I think it was because the house was so hot. I doubt if I got more than three hours total the whole night.

Called the A/C repair guy first thing this morning and got on his schedule. He was able to come around 1:00 and got it fixed. He found a stuck valve and had to replace it. Wonder if it is covered under warranty? The unit is only two years old. I was gone when he came so didn’t get to ask him.

I went to Emporia and met Jason for lunch. Always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids. After lunch I took my car through the car wash and then went to Walmart to get some groceries. Got what I needed and came home.

Took a nap when I got home. Still don’t feel rested but am better than I was before I laid down.

Had a phone call from a Detainee’s wife. It was nice to talk to her for a bit. She sure is in a hard spot with her husband being detained for so long. He has been in the Detention Center since last December. Still not sure when he might get released.

Had a few sprinkles off and on today. Rain is in the forecast everyday for the next ten days. Not sure we need more rain at this point but I would rather have the rain than the 100 degree days.

Trying to decide what to fix for the light lunch for the Love in Action Birthday Party. I could get cold cuts, cheese, etc for build your own sandwiches or I could cater BBQ. Not sure which would be cheaper. Catering would be easier. I will price some things out and see what I decide to do. Have no idea how many people will show up so it is hard to estimate cost. What do I want lots of leftovers of may well decide which way I go.

No plans for the rest of the week or weekend. I haven’t done much today but a couple of stay-at-home days sound nice. I have a few little projects to work on and maybe I can find the motivation to get them done this weekend. Next week has lots of empty space in it too. Time for me to get some things done!

Hoping to get the charity PayPal account finally up and running soon. I am waiting on them to confirm I am an official charity and then I should be set to go. Although I am doubting myself as I type that. This little project has dragged on since the first of the year and I am not sure I really believe I am at the end of it. I hate to have to pay fees to get donations but I am not technically able to continue to use VENMO for Love in Action. If I can’t get connected to PayPal Charity soon, I might throw in the towel and give up. Wish there was another way to collect donations that was free and one that most people can access easily.

Feeling like there was something important I was supposed to take care of today but have no idea what it was. Guess it will reappear in my mind if it was important.

Sitting with a feeling of expectation today but have no idea what I expecting to happen. Maybe something new is on its way to me. I have lots of empty space to accommodate what ever is coming.

Grateful for time with Jason today, grateful the A/C is fixed, and grateful for all the empty space ahead of me.

This day started off early as I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Hoping I can get a nap later but we shall see. I tried once and couldn’t sleep.

I went on-line and PayPal had sent the two small deposits to the Love in Action account. I wrote those down and was able to confirm the banking information. The next step was is confirm we are a charity and that the funds will go into the Love in Action account.

I ran into problems with this step. I started on my desktop and they needed a copy of the bank statement. I am not good with navigating files and had trouble figuring out how to scan something and then find it so I could send it to PayPal. Switched to my phone and attempted to scan with it. Ran into troubles with that.

Attempted the process from the beginning on my phone and discovered the phone would allow me to take a picture of the bank statement. The desktop did not let me do that. Got that accomplished and am now waiting for them to approve it.

Dang, this stuff isn’t easy sometimes. This whole process has taken forever. I attempted to do it before we were an approved 501(c)3 organization and they wouldn’t approve me. Then I attempted it after I got notification of our approved 501(c)3 status but it took the government six weeks to update their files and put us on the list. I am closer this time so we shall see what happens.

VENMO is so much easier but technically I can’t use it for the 501(c)3 due to the end-of-the-year reporting requirements. I hate to pay PayPal funds for doing the same thing VENMO does for free though.

I got an email from the Sergeant that manages the card and stamp program at the Detention Center. She let me know her supply of cards was low. I put a note on the Love in Action Facebook page that I had added cards to the Amazon Gift Registry. Within hours six boxes of cards were purchased and they are on their way to the Center.

My neighbor has offered to mow for us. We were negotiating price this morning and I offered her 1/3 of 1/2 of a beef that is coming my way early August. She was excited to accept that offer. I am excited she has agreed to mow. We will also be dog sitting her dog when they go on vacation in July. I much prefer bartering with my neighbors than paying someone cash.

I put on my big girl panties and Kathy and I loaded the broken lawn mower to return to Walmart. We didn’t have the receipt so I wasn’t sure what they would do. To my utter amazement they didn’t ask any questions and fully refunded me the purchase price. Wow! I was impressed.

While we were at Walmart I got the 175 bottles of Coke I needed to buy for the Detention Center Father’s Day event. I also picked up another TV for them as I was informed that they put the spare one we had provided into use this week.

We went to the Detention Center when we got back in Cottonwood Falls and three people came out and helped us unload the pop and TV. Had a great conversation with the Captain and Lieutenant that manage the Center.

Lots of things done this morning. Returning the mower was big for me. I was concerned there would be an issue as I didn’t have the box or receipt and there was no issues at all. The PayPal change has been on my pending list for months. I am so close to having that finalized. Bartering with my neighbor was also easy and fun. I feel like I did a week’s worth of work in a couple hours this morning.

The biggest bummer of the day was finding out the free phone calls for the Detainees is off the plate for this weekend. There was a miscommunication thing that happened within the Center and they can’t make it happen. We talked about several options to make it happen for a different holiday and haven’t found an easy work around yet. I also found out the Captain is retiring later this year. They haven’t named his official replacement yet. Yikes! Trusting whoever is named will continue to let us work with them and allow Love in Action to continue to support the Detainees.

Time for me to turn my brain off and find some quiet space. I don’t usually deal with this many things in one day and am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Luckily, I don’t have anything on my calendar for a bit and will have lots of down time over the next couple of days/weeks. Nice to get some things that have been pending off my plate.

I will start working on the birthday party details soon. Some of the things I need to plan out ahead of time but most can wait till it is closer. I have the date, place, time and entertainment nailed down. I have my list of things I need to take care of made. I will work my way through the list and prioritize it so I take care of the things that I need some lead time with.

Grateful for the easy mower return, grateful the pop and TV are at the Center, and grateful for the bartering exchange with my neighbor.

Feeling much better today. Still having stomach cramps that come and go but they are mild, especially compared to what I was experiencing yesterday. Haven’t eaten much yet but am working on it. Every time I eat something, the cramps come back so am only eating small portions to attempt to minimize the cramping.

I stayed up for the first round of storms that came through. We seemed to have gotten several waves of hard rain. Lots of puddles to play in today in the yard.

I got the clothes folded and put away from the laundry I did yesterday and got the sheets on my bed changed. Wrote a couple of thank you notes and got them in the mailbox before the mailman came today. I still have two more to write.

I put my big girl panties on and dug deep for some courage and called PayPal to see if I could get the charity PayPal account up and going. It didn’t take too long to get through the automated system and get to a real person. The person I spoke to was absolutely amazing. In less than five minutes I was set up and almost ready to launch. She even helped me figure out how to find the QR Code so I can link the account on my posts on Facebook. It was easy peasy! Wow! Impressive customer service from a big corporation. Call me impressed!

For some reason there was quite a list of people that were associated with my bank account. She couldn’t tell me how that happened but assured me they wouldn’t be able to access the account and take the funds. I will watch it carefully when I get it activated to insure that doesn’t happen.

I heard back from the Old School and we have a location for the Love in Action Birthday Party for July 11. Elexa Dawson will put on a short concert, we will have a light lunch and then of course cake and ice cream. It will be held from 12:00 – 2:00. Not sure how many donors will be able to come but hoping a few will be able to make it.

I will probably do a meat and cheese tray with stuff to make sandwiches, chips and potato or pasta salad for the light lunch. Not sure where I will get the cake but I have lots of time to figure out those details. A sheet cake is the easiest so will find someone to make and decorate one of those. Not sure if North Reeble’s still does those or not. They changed to a different type of store and I haven’t been in the store since that happened. I have no idea how much food I will need but that all seems to work itself out sooner or later.

Printed out the forms I need to renew my Notary certification. Found a company to get a surety bond from. They have to fill out a page of the application and not sure how I make that happen. I can’t send a copy of the bond. I don’t remember how I did that four years ago. I don’t think I have to retake the test but maybe? I couldn’t sleep last night from about 2:00 – 6:00 this morning so was working on the application then. I will reread the instructions when it isn’t the middle of the night. They might make more sense to me then.

Took two checks to the bank and got those deposited. We have raised $1,985.17 this fundraiser. My goal was $1,000 so we have almost doubled the goal.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to take the mower back to Walmart. I am hoping they will give me a refund and not an exchange. I will take whatever they will do. If I get an exchange, I will sell the new one. Kathy’s days of mowing are over, as are mine. While I am at Walmart, I will pick up the pop I need for the Detention Center. I may have to go back Thursday for the rest of it. There is a limit on how many you can buy on-line, not sure if that applies in person.

I trust I will have as good of luck returning the mower as I did talking to PayPal today. It was such a nice treat to have efficient service from PayPal today.

It was nice to get a couple of things done today. I hadn’t had a productive day for a bit. I procrastinate on doing things and spend more time talking myself into doing things then it takes to do the thing. I need to remind myself over and over that I can do hard things.

Grateful for the ease of the PayPal process, grateful the event was created for the birthday party for Love in Action, and grateful I am feeling better today.

This has been a tough day physically for me. Woke up to the worst stomach cramps I have had in a long time. They lasted for several hours before they finally quieted down. Have run a bit of a temp and had diarrhea on and off all day. I felt like I had been hit with a bus with muscle aches and a strong headache. Not sure if I have a touch of the flu, food poisoning or what is going on. I had the chills so I turned on my electric blanket and laid down for a bit and fell asleep. Had to take a second Imodium this evening after I woke up. Hmmmm….. Maybe by tomorrow this will be gone and I will feel better.

Obviously I didn’t get much done today. I did have several phone conversations today. We have some family stuff going on and I was a listening ear to it all. I trust things will get sorted out sooner or later – they usually do. Just on a different timeline and way than we can see now. Lots of lessons in this for all involved.

I had part of a bowl of chicken with rice soup and some crackers mid day. I have managed to get 32 oz of fluids down and am working on more. Good thing I don’t get hungry when I don’t feel well.

I put a notice on Facebook about needing someone to mow my yard. I think my neighbor and her young son are going to do it. They offered to let Kathy borrow their mower but Kathy wisely said she wasn’t allowed to use a mower again. We haven’t worked out the details. I would rather pay him to do it than some big company. If it doesn’t work out, I have a couple of names I can call and see if I can get on their list.

One day this week I need to attempt to return the mower and see if I can get my money back. I don’t have the receipt so not sure what they will do. If I can’t return it, I’m not sure what to do with it. A dear friend looked at it and he couldn’t get it going so it will take a specialist to fix it. Not even sure who that may be.

I got another donation for Love in Action in the mail today. We are almost to double the amount that I had intended to raise this time around. People are so incredibly generous with Love in Action. One day this week I will need to go to Emporia and buy the pop for the Father’s Day event at the Center. I need about 170 bottles of pop for that. I hope the store doesn’t have limits as to how many I can buy at a time. I will take Kathy with me so we can double the limit if needed.

I didn’t make it to the bank today to deposit the two checks I have. I didn’t trust myself to be that far from my bathroom today. Maybe tomorrow I can get to the bank.

This has been a day of rest for me. That is what my body was asking for. I won’t get out and about until I make sure this isn’t the flu or something I could pass to someone else. I wouldn’t wish this day on anyone.

Kathy’s eye and Sophia are both on the mend. Neither one needed to go back to the doctor today. Kathy still looks like a vampire with one red eye. Sophia got up like she was a puppy when it was time for her to go back outside this evening. She hasn’t done that for a bit.

I sent a note to a couple of musicians that I know to see if they have any availability for July 11. One doesn’t, one has limited availability and I haven’t heard from the third one. I will give it another day or two and then work with the one with limited availability. I haven’t heard back from the lady that rents the building I want to use. I also could check with the city to see if the community building is available. It is way too big for what I want to do though and will cost a lot more. Once I nail down the entertainment and a place I can start advertising it.

As usual when I get sick, I feel humbled. Today is probably just a day of inconvenience for me and nothing more than that. I had nothing planned so it was a good day to rest.

Grateful for Imodium that slows things down, grateful the kids trust me to vent to, and grateful tomorrow is a new day and I will be feeling much better by then.

Got home around 2:00 this afternoon. It was a fairly easy drive home. I stopped at Chipotle on 95th Street in Lenexa for lunch. I was glad to get home.

There was quite a storm here last night. We didn’t have any damage. We got rain in Cameron last night too. The forecast shows a couple of dry days ahead which will be nice except that it is to get up close to 100 one or two different days.

Kathy let me know the new mower stopped working. I will have to figure out a way to return it or find someone to work on it. I think I will hire someone to mow from now on. Mowers and Kathy seem not to be on speaking terms these days. I will call and find someone to mow tomorrow. Any ideas of who to call?

Our dear friend just showed up to look at the mower. How sweet is that? Fingers crossed he can figure it out.

No plans for the rest of the week. I do have to go to Emporia and get lots of pop for the Detention Center for an event next weekend. I was going to do a pick-up order but there is a limit of 12 and I need 26. I will have to call and make sure I can buy 26 at one time. I may need to make two trips to town to accomplish what I need.

Got another nice donation for Love in Action in the mail that came Saturday. We have far surpassed my goal. Maybe we won’t have to have another fundraiser this year.

Still thinking about a birthday party for Love in Action on July 11. A stamp drive would be nice – that would help preserve our remaining funds too. I would like to come up with some sort of gathering in the hopes that those that don’t live in my neighborhood would come so I could meet them and thank them for supporting the work we are doing. I think I could rent the classroom at the old school for $50 to hold the party in. I will check and see if it is available that day.

It was good for my soul to take two nights away. I had forgotten how fun energy work with others is. I was pleased to discover how much of it I have incorporated into my way of being without being aware of it. I also noticed I was much quieter than I used to be at events like this. I went to receive and not give and was grateful I was able to do that.

Feeling full today as a result of the time with special friends. It will take me a day or two to digest all that happened Saturday. It was a good reminder to me of this work and how powerful it can be.

Still thinking about the reading I got from Craig and Chris. I wish I had thought to record it as like last time I can’t remember all that was said. Maybe that isn’t the point of it anyway. I feel both of their presence with me at times and know they are both OK. I firmly believe that those that cross over remain with us at all times and the biggest thing that has really changed is how we communicate with them.

Grateful for time away, grateful to be home, and grateful for friends that show up without being asked to help a gal out.

I went to a retreat day today at the home of one of the students I went to Core Star Healing School with. She and a friend are mediums and co-presented today to a group of 12.

We started the day off with them doing readings for most of the people in the group. Chris and Craig came through together for my reading. I had set the intention that the two of them come through and it worked. I’m not too sure I remember much about what was said although at the time it all felt true.

After lunch we played some energy games and then were given the opportunity to attempt to do a mediumship reading. I was wiped out and didn’t volunteer to attempt it.

It was nice to be in a beautiful home in the country and gather with like-minded women of various ages and backgrounds and energy experience. It reminded me why I love this type of thing. An added benefit was one of the other students I went to Core Star with was there and I got to catch up with her.

I am grateful I had decided not to try to drive home tonight as I think I might have gotten into trouble attempting that. I am very tired and it is only 5:30. Last night I was asleep before 8:00 and slept until 6:00 this morning. Thinking tonight I might be in bed even earlier than that.

For some reason my calves and ankles are very swollen tonight. Not sure if it is because of the three hour drive I did yesterday or all the sitting today. I normally sit a lot so not sure why I would swell up from that today. They were a bit swollen last night and are much worse today. I will prop them up for a bit and see if I can get them to go down.

Not sure I am going to stay and go to the gallery reading the two ladies are doing tomorrow. I feel I got my reading today and am not sure I want to hang around all morning with nothing to do. I will probably get up and head for the hills.

It has been a treat to treat myself to a weekend away. It will also be a treat to get home tomorrow. There is no place like home.

I got a notice that there was a tornado watch for Cottonwood Falls today. I checked radar when I got back to my room at the hotel and it looks clear now. We had some heavy rain where I am in Missouri this morning. It cleared up and was hot and humid this afternoon. Trusting the drive home will be clear of storms.

Next week has a lot of empty space for me. I will need to go to Emporia and buy lots of pop for the Detainees for Juneteenth Celebration. I need to call Walmart and find out if they have an in-store limit on how many I can buy at once. They have a limit on pickup and delivery. The Center is to let me know if I need to chill it ahead of time or if they have room for it in the walk-in cooler the kitchen has. Other than that I don’t have anything on my to-do list next week.

Feeling my age this evening. I sure could have taken a nap this afternoon. It has been a bit since I sat through a day long class. I think I was probably the oldest one there although there were several others that were grandmas too.

I told someone today that I have simplified my life and don’t get out much anymore. I think that suits me better these days. It was fun getting out but man I look forward to a quiet week at home next week.

Grateful for the love and spirit I felt today, grateful to be reminded of some wonderful spirit led memories I hold, and grateful I get to go home tomorrow.

I am sitting in my hotel room in Cameron, MO. It was an almost three hour drive to get here. Traffic was heavy with some stop and go places. Grateful to be in my room and out of traffic for a bit.

Tomorrow I am going to a retreat that starts at 9:30. I am only 20 minutes from it so will be able to sleep in a bit before I hit the road around 9:00. Looking forward to seeing some dear friends at the retreat and meeting some new people.

Went to the post office this morning and mailed the documentation that the utility company needed to give me my half of some utility credits from my old McDonald’s days. Not sure how long it will take them to figure it all out. It will happen when it happens.

I dropped off some stamps and the check to pay for the M&M’s and chicken wings for our upcoming summer holiday treats at the Detention Center today. I am excited for the Detainees to have some special treats coming their way soon.

Someone from the Christian Science Monitor called me today. She had called the Chase County Detention Center for a story she was working on and they gave her my name and number. Not sure what will come of it but she wants to do an article about Love in Action. I have had other reporters call and few follow-up. I had to look up their publication to see if they were a Christian Nationalist paper – they are not. They tend to be center with a slightly left bent.

It is nice to sit in a quiet spot for the evening with no responsibilities. I trust I will be able to sleep well tonight and wake up rested and refreshed. I never know if sleep will find me or not.

When I got in the car to come today I tried to turn my GPS on. Forgot I had gotten a new phone and needed to connect it to the car. I couldn’t get it done in front of my house. Drove for a bit and got stuck in road construction. While I was stopped, I managed to get the new phone hooked up so I could have directions to where I was going today. Not sure why it wasn’t working earlier but grateful I got it done.

I need to go out and get something for tomorrow. I also want to fill the car up with gas as I’m not sure where I am going tomorrow and if there will be gas stations along the way. Better safe than sorry, especially since I don’t know where I am.

I have an empty head tonight. Hard to hold on to a thought long enough to act on it. Something external has shifted again and things feel lighter and faster again. So far I am keeping up without effort. Not sure what that is all about but when I am quiet I can feel the shift. Timelines shifting again? Maybe.

Grateful for a weekend away, grateful I was able to get my phone hooked up, and grateful for safe travels today.

Mom and Dad married on this day in 1948. They enjoyed 52 years together before dad died. I’m grateful for the role they played in my life and the family they created.

15 years ago today I graduated from Core Star Energy Healing School. It marked a big turning point in my life and I will forever be grateful. At least three of the students that were in my class will be at the retreat I am going to Saturday. I love the timing of the Universe to bring us back together again after 15 years.

We missed the brunt of the storms that came through last night. I would check radar and think that we were going to get strong rain and wind and it wouldn’t happen. I would go back to radar and see that the storm either split or turned and went around us. Grateful for that.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I had slept too much the night and day before.

This day started with an hour long phone call to a utility company about a credit from Shandler, Ltd. I think we resolved the issue. I have to send them some paperwork proof of what we talked about. Not sure when they might issue a check. It is complicated family business on my side of it.

Talked to both Nicole and Jason afterwards to fill them in on the conversation. I struggle knowing what is the “right” thing to do in cases like this. I guess it kinda depends on which angle you look at it from. I will do my best and that is all I can do.

Kathy had me check her eye last night. She said it felt like something was in it. It was all bloodshot with a bit of white showing. We looked it up on-line and the most probable cause was a blood vessel burst.

This morning the eye was slightly bulging with blood and no white to be seen. I think she is turning into a vampire! We called her doctor’s office and they had her come in to be seen by one of the doctor’s on staff. I went with her in case they needed to dilate her eyes. I find it hard to drive after that happens.

He didn’t do that but wanted her to go to her eye doctor to have him give a second opinion. Her medical doctor called in some antibiotic eye drops.

We went to Walmart where Kathy’s eye doctor is. Luckily he was able to see her right away. It is a burst blood vessel but he said it wasn’t bleeding anymore. He told her not to get the prescribed eye drops as she didn’t need them. He gave her some eye drops to help reduce the swelling and irritation. He didn’t even charge her for the visit. How nice was that? It will probably take up to a month for it to completely clear up. He said if it happens again she will need some blood work done to make sure her platelet count isn’t off. Both doctors want to see her again Monday if it isn’t better by then.

We headed home after that visit. On the way to town we got stopped for over 20 minutes with road construction on Highway 50. I pulled off onto old highway 50 on the way home and came home the back roads. Not sure how much time we saved but it sure was easier driving not being behind 20 semi trucks like we were all the way to Emporia.

I received another donation in the mail today for Love in Action so took that one plus the one from yesterday to the bank to deposit them. I then went to Subway to get some food as I had forgotten to eat today.

I didn’t get PayPal called today. After being on the phone for over two hours this morning I didn’t have it in me to make another call. Maybe I can get it done tomorrow before I leave for my retreat weekend. If not, it will wait till next week.

Before I leave tomorrow I need to gather the information I need to mail to the utility company and get that process started. I don’t expect a quick answer. It took the other utility company six months to decide how to handle the same situation with them. I will do my part and then let go of the situation and see what happens.

I am thinking about organizing a birthday party for Love in Action on July 11. We will be one-years old. I would love to meet my donors and supporters and a birthday party sounds fun. I will give it some thought and see what I can come up with. I need an activity of some sort – maybe singing or drumming? Uhm…. Lots of options. I can’t have it be a political event as that is not allowed under the 501(c)3 rules. I thought about a stamp drive and ask all the members of Love in Action to send a sheet of 20 stamps. They could use one of the stamps to mail the rest to Love in Action. I have lots of ideas but nothing definite yet.

We have surpassed my fundraising goal of $1,000 by over $600 at this point. People are so incredibly generous. We will have enough to do a Labor Day event in addition to the three we are doing in June and July. I will need to give some thought as to what to do for the winter holidays sooner or later.

Looking forward to getting away this weekend. It will be good for my soul. I haven’t taken time like this for me for a long time. I forget to do it and can’t ever think of where to go if I think about doing it. This opportunity kinda dropped into my lap and I grabbed it.

Sometimes life goes the way you plan and sometimes it doesn’t. I had anticipated a quiet day-at-home today but that isn’t what happened. I am surprised I am still above neutral after the chaos from the phone calls and the unexpected trip to town. Grateful both issues got resolved somewhat.

Grateful for mom and dad and their life together, grateful for Core Star Energy Healing School and the path it put me on for my life, and grateful Kathy’s eye wasn’t a serious issue and we had two compassionate doctors today.

Woke up during the night and was up for a couple of hours. Finally got a short second sleep. The nights feel long when that happens and I rarely wake up feeling rested. I took a nap this afternoon to get a bit more sleep.

Kathy and I took Sophia to the Vet at 11:00 this morning. Sophia has been limping for a bit and this weekend she could barely walk. Her rear left leg was bothering her the most. Today it was her right front leg that the Vet noticed. Thinking she has arthritis and this hot, humid weather has set it off in a big way. They gave her an anti inflammatory as well as pain relief. If she is not much improved within a week I am to take her back and they will do X-rays, etc.

Both dogs have moved into the house for a bit to give Sophia time to heal and not be heat stressed. I forgot how loud they can snore and how bad they stink when they fart. We shall see how long this lasts.

Woke up this morning to several emails letting me know more donations have come in for our summer holiday project for Love in Action. I had set a goal of raising $1,000 and by this afternoon we have raised $1,545 from 32 people. Wow! Betting a few more donations come in via mail before the word gets out that we met our goal.

People are so incredibly generous when I put out a need. We will do another fundraiser later this year to raise funds for special events for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. Not sure what our plans for those holidays will be but will figure that out when it gets closer. Hoping we can do pizza again for Thanksgiving as that went over really well. It is expensive though so we shall see how many funds we can raise later.

No plans for tomorrow. I am ready for a stay-at home day to prepare myself for being gone this weekend. Hoping the predicted storms for the evening stay away and all stay safe. We sure seem to be in a pattern of severe weather right now. One of these days the rain will stop and we will be wishing for it to come back. The river is getting high as the ground is so saturated that it can’t hold much more water right now.

I do want to call PayPal tomorrow and try to get that account set up and sorted out. I didn’t have the patience to do it today.

Looking forward to going away for the weekend. The retreat day Saturday is just what my soul needs – to gather with other like-minded people and stand in love with all. It will do me good to get away for two nights and take some alone time.

The Doctor’s office I was referred to in Wichita called me today and gave me an appointment for July 14. She almost hung up without telling me the name of the doctor or the address. They will probably send me paperwork to fill out and take but they may not. She said they put me on their wait list for an earlier appointment and will call if that happens. I guess it is a good thing the stone in my pancreas duct isn’t bothering me. Trust that will hold for another month or more.

Feeling relieved the funds have been raised and we surpassed our goal. I never know when I post what the reaction will be. I need to touch base with the Center and make sure the M&M’s got ordered so they are good to go for the Juneteenth event. I will need to buy the pop next week and take it to the Center. This little project just keeps moving along.

Grateful for the 32 donors that supported this fundraiser, grateful Sophia has some meds that hopefully will reduce her pain, and grateful the referral doctor called and I am on his books.

It was a night of very little sleep. I stayed up until the first storm cleared. The wind blew hard and we got lots of rain in a short amount of time. The power was off for about an hour. This house is quiet and we don’t feel or hear the rain much but we did last night.

The storm gave me energy and I wasn’t ready to go to bed. I was just getting ready to take my bath and go to bed when round two came through. I stayed up for that and finally went to bed around 6:00 this morning. I woke up around 8:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Kathy tried to take Sophia for a walk this morning but Sophia was struggling to walk. I took a video of it in case she doesn’t do it when we go to the Vet tomorrow. Sophia hurt her leg when we took her to get her haircut the middle of May. It had gotten better but now seems to be bad again. I think she has arthritis in her hip but it might be something else. Maybe they can give her something to make her more comfortable. Her appointment is at 11:00 tomorrow.

Some friends that walked the Camino last month came over this afternoon and shared their experience with me. They went 120 miles and had a very different experience than I did. But I think everyone that walks has their own experience with the Camino. It was fun to remember my walk and compare notes.

They were also kind enough to let me vent about Love in Action and some of my frustrations with it. They both offered some good advice and reminded me I am not responsible for how others respond to my posts. I needed to hear that again.

I attempted to take a nap and rest this afternoon after they left but not sure I ever fell asleep. It did feel good to stretch out and rest. Maybe I can go to bed early tonight and get a good night’s sleep tonight. A girl can dream! Sleep and I have not been friends for a long time. It is hard to remember a time where I didn’t struggle with sleep.

I got to thinking about my new phone bill last night and went on-line and looked at what the new bill was going to consist of. They had automatically subscribed me to four or five extra services that would have cost me almost $85 a month. I unsubscribed to all of them and now the phone bill will be $25 more than it was before. We will save over $75 a month than what we were paying having two accounts. Before I took off the extra services it would have cost a bit more than we each were paying.

I think it should be illegal for phone companies to add those services without the buyer’s permission. I wonder how many people don’t look at the bill closely and don’t realize they are being charged for things they don’t need. The phone company uses scare tactics to intimidate people into thinking they need the extra services and then sneaks them in hoping one isn’t paying attention. Buyer beware!

I am still struggling to get PayPal to accept the Love in Action bank account. I am going to have to call them and get help. Didn’t have it in me to do that today. Maybe tomorrow afternoon I can tackle that. I hope the person on the other end is much more helpful than the Verizon person was or I will give up and not work on it anymore.

Only about $125 from my goal of raising $1,000. I have enough now to cover the additional summer holiday expenses. Someone had sent two rolls of stamps so if I count the value of that I am at goal. I need to get the pop that we will need for the Juneteenth event of pop and M&M’s. I think I will place a pickup order at Walmart for it. That would be the easiest for me. I will take it directly to the Center and they can help unload it. Easy peasy!

Had trouble with my Microsoft hotmail password. I think I have it changed on all three devices now. They have a new way of making sure you are not a robot and you have to match a pattern. I was attempting to do that last night on no sleep and failed. Now it won’t let me try again. It hasn’t offered me another way to verify I am a human. Oh my, the challenges of life these days.

I sure wish there was a different way than passwords to log in to sites. The two-step validation is a pain in the ass. You need two devices available to log in these days. Surely someone can invent something easier that is safe. Hackers are smart enough these days to invent something – let’s put them to good use.

It is miserably hot out today. I took a deposit up to the bank and I don’t think my car ever cooled down much. My glasses fogged over from the humidity and the steering wheel was almost too hot to touch. I do not do well in heat like this. Kathy is in heaven. She loves the heat. My air conditioner hasn’t shut off for long today.

I managed to get two loads of laundry done today and it is even folded and put away. That is two times in a row. Wonder how long of a streak I can go? Not sure why it feels impossible to fold and put it away some days.

Realized I fell into the pattern of letting a few take me down with their comments on Love in Action and I ignored the 95% that were positive. I seemed to be wired to do that. It was helpful to hear from my friends today and remind myself not to allow that to happen. I still have a feeling I am missing something but can’t put my finger on what it is. Guess I will keep doing what I am doing until whatever I am missing makes itself known.

Time seems to have sped up again for me. I am not doing much, but time is going by so fast. I wonder if the new vibration is causing that for me? I can tell the vibration of the earth is changing and is higher with more light. I remember when I used to do energy healings that the higher the vibration the faster it felt in my body. Makes sense that time would feel faster too.

Is time obsolete? Our systems are and time is a system created function. Maybe time will become obsolete? Oh the places my mind goes sometimes.

Grateful for a visit from my friends, grateful we didn’t have any storm damage, and grateful the power was restored quickly.

I went to Florence to meet a couple for lunch today. There was road construction just before I got to Florence. Four miles of one-way traffic. Held me up for a bit.

Had the most delightful conversation. I met this couple through Love in Action. She makes the patches that she sold at a rally as a fundraiser for Love in Action. We have a lot in common and conversation was fast and easy. So fun to talk to other like-minded people and be able to go deep!

Came home and rested for a bit. Kathy had picked up some virus on her phone and was really frustrated. Her phone was starting to overheat when she used it so we decided it was time to get it replaced before it started a fire.

Went to the Verizon store in Emporia. I asked for the grandson of a person I know. He was efficient and helpful. I wanted to add Kathy’s phone to my service. He said he couldn’t do that but put in a call to someone and said they would call back within 30 minutes. We decided to head home.

We got just outside Emporia when they called. The lady that called talked faster than my ears could listen. I had to ask her to slow down. She kept rattling on and finally took a breath so I could tell her to start over and go slowly.

She got confused quickly. Told us my phone had a transfer request on it and she couldn’t do anything. She was trying to transfer my phone to Kathy’s line. We must have told her ten times she had it backwards. She finally figured out what we wanted and then said she couldn’t help us. She needed to talk to the guy at the phone store. WTF?

Luckily I had pulled over while we were talking to her. We turned around and headed back to the Verizon store. Kathy misunderstood and hung up on the lady. Oops.

We got back to the store and told the guy what was happening. He managed to figure out a way to do the transfer at the store without talking to the lady. Not sure why he couldn’t do that to start but oh well.

We got that done and then we each got new phones – free but for a price! It was going to take 30 – 45 minutes for the data to be transferred. We went to Braum’s and got an ice cream treat. Then I filled my car up with gas and went to the bank to get some cash for the weekend.

We went back to Verizon and the transfer was all but done. The guy made sure both phones had transferred the most important stuff and finished us up. Over $400 and three hours of our time we were done and headed home. We had to get new Otter boxes and screen saver covers. He said my first phone bill will be high as we have to pay connecting charges, sales tax, etc. etc.

I’m glad I went with Kathy as I am not sure she could have navigated all that herself. She definitely needed a new phone. I could have waited but I either had to get it now or take a chance that they would have a deal later.

It will take us a day or two to figure out all the new things on the new phone. The older I get the harder change is. We talked about Kathy getting an Apple phone but decided it would be easier for her to stick with her Samsung as that is what she has always had. I don’t know how to work her phone so can’t help her much but I think it would have been very hard for Kathy to learn a new phone system.

Tomorrow some friends are coming over to share their Camino adventure with me. They walked a much shorter version of it than I did and I am anxious to hear about their journey. No plans for Wednesday or Thursday. Since I got my errands taken care of today I may not need to go to Emporia again this week. Friday I am going out of town for the weekend and will be back Sunday early evening.

Got a donation for Love in Action in the mail today. We are getting closer and closer to reaching our $1,000 goal. We have less than $200 to go to reach the goal.

Dealing with big corporations is hard! I don’t think customer service is a priority these days. The girl we were working with over the phone didn’t know how to listen. Not sure why he was able to help us the second time but not the first time. When the lady called us we were put on hold for three minutes waiting for her to come on the line. Guess our time is expendable and their time is valuable. Hoping that I don’t have to interact with them again for a bit.

I asked the lady that I met with today if she was running Love in Action what she would do differently. She said nothing. She worked in the prison system for most of her nursing career and understands the system better than most. It was reassuring to hear her say nothing. We talked about how others can’t or won’t understand what we are up against when dealing with the prison culture. I need to remember to let it go when I run into someone that challenges me on it.

Grateful for friends made through Love in Action, grateful the phone deal is done, and grateful I don’t have to deal with big corporations most days.

I slept lots last night. Got up this morning around 8:30 and still felt a bit tired. Around 9:30 I went back to bed and slept two more hours. Finally feel rested although I am getting sleepy this evening. Wonder what my life would be like if I slept 8 hours every night?

Phil came over at 1:00 and hung the light fixture above the kitchen sink, two carbon monoxide detectors and two smoke detectors. It is good to have all those things done. I appreciate him.

Haven’t done anything today. I really do like productive days better but I don’t have much to do right now. I have a call or two I need to make tomorrow and I am meeting some friends for lunch in Florence. Maybe tomorrow will feel more productive.

Tuesday some friends are coming over in the afternoon to share their Camino adventure with me. No plans for Wednesday or Thursday. Friday I am going away for the weekend and will be back home Sunday late afternoon.

Hoping I can get a PayPal Charity acount set up this week. I wouldn’t bet on it though. It seems to be harder than I expected and I can’t seem to break through. Wonder what the lesson is in this for me?

Feeling a bit disconnected and ungrounded this evening. The empty space got to me today. Funny how some days it is easy and other days uncomfortable.

Grateful for lots of sleep last night and even more this morning, grateful Phil got my honey do list taken care of, and grateful I get to meet with friends twice this week.

I am still in my pajamas so obviously didn’t make it to the singing event today. I didn’t fall asleep until after 6:00 this morning. Slept hard for a few hours and never did wake all the way up. It has been cloudy all day and it was a good day to declare a pajama day and do nothing (again) day.

During the night I attempted again to hook up PayPal for Love in Action. It recognized that it is now a nonprofit but would not let me link my bank account. I kept getting an error message that said I had too many accounts linked to that bank account.

I finally remembered that VENMO is part of PayPal and I have my VENMO account linked to the Love in Action bank account as well as my personal bank account.

I deleted the VENMO link to the LIA bank account but am still getting the error message. I will wait till Monday to try again as maybe it needs to clear their system somehow.

These types of things drive me to drink – maybe it is a good thing I don’t drink. I find them so frustrating. I attempted to use the chat help but it sent me in the same circle I had already circled several times.

If I can’t figure it out Monday I will have to find a phone number and call for some help. I would rather stay with VENMO as it doesn’t take any fees but I need to have separate accounts so funds don’t commingle with my personal funds. And technically nonprofits are not allowed to use VENMO due to the reporting requirements of a nonprofit. VENMO doesn’t give you the mailing address of the donor like PayPal does. Not sure why I find this so hard.

We have received $636 of the $1,000 goal for our summer holiday project. I have enough for the Father’s Day and Juneteenth events so will check in with the Center Monday and give them the funds for those two projects. I still have a couple of weeks before they need the funds for the July 4th project.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. Maybe the goal of the day will be to get dressed. Sounds like an optimistic goal though! Monday I am meeting some friends for lunch in Florence and Tuesday some friends are coming for a visit in the afternoon. Friday through Sunday I will go away for a soul filled weekend away.

I am still reading the book Theo in Golden. It is the best book I have read in a long time. I am reading it slowing as I find it so rich that I don’t want to speed read through it. I will probably reread it when I am done. It is the type of book that I will probably order 10 copies to have on hand to give friends. We need more books like this in the world today. It is about the impact one person can do when they do acts of kindness and the ripple effects of those acts.

A line from the book that I am sitting with. “The older I get, the more convinced I am that every hurt the world has ever known is somehow the fault of every person who ever lived. Maybe not directly and never entirely, but somehow, I fear, we own all of the world’s hurts together.” Would we act differently if we believed this? People act out because of their inner pain. I wonder how many people I have hurt that then act out because of their inner pain that I caused? Multiple that by billions of people and that quote begins to make sense.

There is a scene he writes about that has stuck with me too. A homeless person comes into the sanctuary of a church on Sunday morning bringing with her the bicycle that is her only security in her life. Many of the congregation call 911 for help. One of the saints of the church recognizes the lady and offers to have the homeless lady sit with her family. The homeless lady was looking for the main character in the book and he came and got her and took her to his pew. The preacher recognized that the congregation had just witnessed and participated in a sermon if they could only see it. His response to the congregation was “Let us be silent and pause to reflect before we have our morning prayer.”

The book is full of short stories within the main story and the impact kindness has on others when one takes the opportunity to really see another person.

Grateful for a pajama day, grateful for authors that write stories about the power of acts of kindness, and grateful we are over 60% to our goal for Love in Action.

A stay-at-home day. My favorite type of day. I woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up and started laundry. Did a few other household chores, baked a pan of brownies, and did some bookkeeping. Around 8:00 I got tired so went back to bed and slept for a couple of hours. Sure was nice to get a second sleep.

Got the mail and someone sent two rolls of stamps for Love in Action. How nice is that? Donations for the Summer Holiday Project continue to come in. We are a little over halfway to our goal of $1,000. It hasn’t even been 48 hours yet!

Made a pan of creamed chicken and biscuits this afternoon. Kathy and I both enjoyed them. Have enough leftovers for another meal or two. Hard to make a small batch. Got the dishes done but still need to put them away.

Got my laundry finished, folded and put away. I always feel ridiculously proud of myself when I get all of it put away the same day I wash it. Not sure why that is a task I tend to procrastinate on but more times than not I do.

Wrote four thank you notes today – have one more to write. Did some bookkeeping for Love in Action. I try to keep good records and keep them updated frequently. I do a month-end report on the Love in Action Facebook page monthly and it helps if I keep up with recording donations as they come in.

Looked at my notary renewal information. I get overwhelmed a bit and have to put it in time-out and come back to it. I am still waiting for the surety bond place I used four years ago to contact me for a renewal. If I don’t hear from them by the end of June, I will pick another company and get it done. I have until August 1 to get the paperwork in. I struggle sometimes with how to attach the proper documents electronically to the application. Maybe I can do it this year and not have to mail it in.

Tomorrow I am going to the Singing our Resistance event at Goodway Gardens at 2:00. Elexa was so kind to come do the event I held earlier this year. I so enjoyed the music part of that event and want to go to another one.

Next week I have a lunch with some friends in Florence on Monday and then Friday to Sunday I am going away for the weekend. Both events will do my heart good. Sometimes I forget to feed my soul and I will take care of that next week with these two events.

My blood work showed good improvement from the bloodwork that was done while I was in ER last week. I haven’t heard from the new referral doctor in Wichita. Not sure how long it will take for them to call me and who knows how long the wait will be for an appointment. This saga continues….

Felt good to stay home today. My soul needs lots of quiet these days to refill. Making myself a home cooked meal helped too. I forget to do that most days. I feel more at peace this afternoon than I have for a bit.

Grateful for creamed chicken and biscuits, grateful for air conditioning, and grateful for a second sleep today.

Not much sleep last night. I wasn’t surprised as I took too long of a nap yesterday. Have felt tired and a beat behind all day.

I met a dear friend for lunch today. It did my soul good! I don’t think there is much more I love than having deep conversations with friends that are on the same path and vibration I am on.

Went to the nurse practitioner this afternoon. She was good although is new to my doctor’s practice. After we talked she had to go make sure the doctor agreed with her plan. They are going to refer me to a specialist in Wichita. We shall see how this goes. They did repeat my blood work and what has come back so far looks much better than it did in the ER a week ago.

Found out the person that called that wanted my birthday was legit. Evidently the doctor’s office has out sourced the follow up from ER visits to some company. I told the nurse I didn’t know anything about them so didn’t give them my birthday information. The nurse said she would have done the same thing.

Stopped at Walmart after I was done at the doctor’s office and picked up an on-line order I placed. I got four bags of dog food and four cases of water. It is so much easier having them pick it up in the store and then load it in my car. I will get it all unloaded sooner or later.

After Walmart I went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s to get some iced tea. Decided to get an ice cream cone. Bad idea! I pulled ahead out of the D/T lane and reached over to put my credit card back in my purse. When I did, the ice cream fell off the cone and into the car seat. What a mess. I didn’t have many napkins so had to improvise to get it kinda cleaned up. I had to quickly eat what I could. The ice cream was too soft and melted everywhere.

It rained hard on my way home but I made it safely. By the time I got home it had stopped raining.

Thinking tonight will be an early to bed type of night. I sure could fall asleep right now but then I would be up at midnight. I will force myself to stay up for another couple of hours and then hopefully will sleep all night.

Last night I posted I was going to set Love in Action aside for a bit. The Universe has a funny bone! Not an hour after I typed that, I got an email from the Sergeant that does the card and stamp program. She sent me ideas for Father’s Day, June 19th and July 4. We went back and forth for about an hour via email and finally decided on our plan.

I have the funds to cover the projects but it would leave me with little to no cash so decided to post a fundraising post. I am back in the thick of it with Love in Action on-line. So far, so good although I had one exchange last night that made me go ugh….. The poster must have deleted it as it isn’t showing today.

For Father’s Day we are going to offer a free 10 minute phone call that all Detainees can make to a person of their choice. June 19th we are going to have a special treat of M&M’s and a Coke, and July 4th the Center will serve chicken wings for one of the meals. I think the Detainees will appreciate all three events.

I have asked several times for phone calls and this is the first time they figured out how we can make that happen. Some of the Detainees don’t have commissary funds and this will be the first call they will be able to make. Some have been held a long time! I hope they can make good use of it.

Funds are coming in already. I don’t think it will take too long to reach our goal of $1,000. I will need to get busy writing and sending some thank you notes. People are so very generous and responsive to my requests for funds.

Declaring that I was letting go seemed to be all I needed. Love in Action has a different feel to me today and the pause I had is gone. Another lesson from the Universe about letting go.

No plans for tomorrow. I need a stay-at-home day. I haven’t had one this week. Saturday I have a singing our resistance event to go to in the afternoon if I can make myself go. Next week I am meeting some friends in Florence for lunch on Monday. I am free Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and then am going away for the weekend.

Feeling back to my grounded self. My intuition seems to be back on-line and guiding me. I miss it when it goes on vacation without me! I’ll see how long I can maintain this vibration.

Grateful for a dear friend and her wisdom, grateful a plan was made to address my tummy issues, and grateful for the response to the plea for funds for Love in Action.

Got a text from Ellexia last night just before I went to bed. She wanted to go out to breakfast with me. We arranged I would pick her up at 9:30 this morning.

I forgot the highway between Cottonwood Falls and Strong City was closed and had to take the backroads to get to Highway 50. I managed to find my way without getting lost.

I picked up Ellexia and we went to Commercial Street Diner. We had to wait about 15 minutes to be seated. Neither of my two favorite waiters were there today. The place seemed to be missing a beat today. We finally got seated and put in our order. It took a bit to get our food but when we got it everything was hot and delicious.

We left there and then went and got a pedicure. We hit the place at the right time and they were able to take care of us right away. They had several people come in behind us and they told them to come back in 30 minutes. We both relaxed and enjoyed the pedicure. Ellexia has cheer camp next week and now her toes will be all pretty for it!

I took Ellexia home afterwards and then came home. I missed one turn on the back roads and had to turn around and back track a bit but I found my way home.

I came home exhausted so look a long afternoon nap. I may not sleep tonight but it felt good to take a long nap. Not sure why I was so tired but I was.

Nicole figured out a way to get more time off and is going to book us on a 16 day trip. That way we will get to go to Prague and see six different countries all together. That will give me something to look forward to. We will go late October or sometime in November.

Tomorrow I am meeting a dear friend for lunch and then I have a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. Friday I might be able to have a stay-at home day. Those have been scarce this week. Saturday I have a resistance musical event I may go to. Next week looks like a lot of empty space so far. That is how this week started so who knows what may come up.

Looking forward to my weekend away. Leaving the 12th and coming back home the 14th. A friend from energy healing school is hosting a day event at her home on that Saturday. She lives about an hour north of KC so will drive to a hotel close by her house on Friday, go to the retreat day on Saturday, spend the night at the hotel and then come home Sunday. She is also hosting a medium reading on Sunday in KC. I will probably go to that before I come home. It will do my soul good to get away for a weekend.

I need to replace my carry on bag before Nicole and I travel later this year. The bag I have I purchased to take on the Camino eleven years ago. It has many miles on it and the wheels have worn out and it is hard to push/pull. I think I got my money out of it and a new one will last me the rest of my traveling time. I have looked on-line to get one and get overwhelmed and can’t decide what I want. I think it may be one of those things that I need to shop for in person.

I am reading a book called Theo in Golden. I am really enjoying it and would recommend it. Not sure how it will end yet as I am only about half way through but it is a wonderful story about how one person can impact others through generosity. We need more stories like this one.

I have set aside Love in Action to give myself a short break. I was developing tunnel vision and needed to put it down for a short bit. Not sure how long this may last – probably until a new story drops in my lap. I need a bit of distance from it so when I pick it back up I remember what I love about it and not the downsides of it.

Putting myself out there on-line creates the opportunity for those that like to hide behind their screens to come out and play. I was taking the hits too personally which does no one any good. What I have gained from doing Love in Action is far greater than the hits I have taken but things felt out of balance. Putting it down for a short break will do my soul good.

Grateful for the time with Ellexia today, grateful for soft feet tonight, and grateful for a long nap today.

Woke up before 5:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got out of bed at 6:30 and started my day. It was a long morning!

Went to Emporia and met Jason for lunch at 11:30. Lunchtime is always good when you get to eat with one of your kids.

After we were done eating I headed to Walmart. Stopped and took the car through the car wash and then went to Walmart.

While I was shopping I literally ran into a man shopping with his daughter like five different times. We were both polite and smiled but it was becoming weird. The sixth time it happened I stopped, put my hand out and said Hi, my name is Kay. We must be destined to meet today. He laughed and shook my hand and told me his name and his daughter’s name. We shared a moment and then moved on. I didn’t see them again!

I hadn’t bought groceries for a bit so it took me a while to get everything I needed. Other than the man and his daughter, the store didn’t feel too crowded and I was able to get all on my list. I got checked out and came home. Had to make several trips in to the house to get everything carried in.

Got things put away and then Nicole called. We talked for over an hour! I think we are going to Poland in November. We will stay in and around Poland for a couple of days and then take a river cruise on the Danube for seven nights. We may add a couple days at the end so we can see two other cities since we are in the area. It will depend on Nicole’s schedule and how much time she can get off. I have all the time we need so told her to make it fit her schedule.

She will decide in the next two days if that is where she wants to go and if so will get it booked. Sounds like an adventure to me! Sign me up!!!

I like the idea of touring for a couple of days and then cruising for a week. The hard part for me of tours is all the packing and unpacking. This will eliminate part of that. I have never done a river boat cruise so that will be a new experience. Nicole and Geoff had done one in China and had enjoyed it. She said it was casual and you don’t have to dress for dinner.

I took a chair nap this afternoon. My neighbor up the street knocked on the door and it woke me up. She is a quilter and had two different pieces of black material and wanted a second opinion to see if they matched perfectly. We decided they did. She has never come up before so it was a treat that she came over. We visited for a few minutes and then she was off to make her granddaughter a quilt. Lucky kiddo.

The above the kitchen sink light fixture I ordered came in today so I sent Phil a note and asked him to come over and hang it for me when he has some free time. I also have two carbon monoxide detectors and two smoke detectors that need hung. Phil is so good to me and usually comes over rather quickly. I expect sometime this week he will get that little job done for me. I’m lucky he lives so close.

No plans for tomorrow. Thursday I am meeting a friend for lunch and then going to a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. I may go to a music event Saturday afternoon if I can make myself go. It is a singing our resistance event. That type of resistance event I can get behind.

Wrote a few notes to our Pen Pals this morning. Some haven’t heard from their match for several weeks. I don’t want them to feel forgotten. A couple haven’t responded for a long time. Not sure if they decided to drop out of the program and didn’t tell us or if they aren’t in a position mentally to be able to answer right now. I don’t want to give up on them too easily but I also don’t want them to think we dropped them.

It is so hot and muggy out. I had trouble going to sleep last night. I finally got up and turned the thermostat down two degrees. That made it cool enough I could sleep with a blanket on and was able to fall asleep better. I need to remember to turn the thermostat down at night I guess. It would be too cold to leave it that cool during the day so I will have to adjust it twice a day. Maybe I need one of those fancy thermostats that do that for you automatically. I have had one before and never used it though.

Jason and Nicole both told me to set down what is bugging me and let it sit for a bit. I do feel lighter this evening since I did that. Maybe it isn’t mine to pick back up again? Thanks for the advice kids! I needed that reminder.

Grateful for my kids and the way they help me navigate life, grateful for the invitation to go cruising with my daughter, and grateful for a chair nap and a visit from my neighbor.

This has been another low energy day. I didn’t fall asleep until after 3:00 this morning. Woke up a little after 8:00 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I got up, got dressed and started laundry. I couldn’t find my on switch. Finally went back to bed and slept for another two hours.

Still have felt low energy today but at least the brain fog cleared up a bit. Got woke up with a phone call from some sort of medical service that supposedly works for my family doctor. I had never heard of them before. They wanted me to give them my birthday to continue the call. I do not give that type of personal information out over the phone unless I have called someone and know for sure who I am speaking with. They discontinued the call when I refused. Uhm…..

This afternoon my family doctor’s nurse called and scheduled me to see the NP this week as a follow-up to the ER visit last week. Not sure it is necessary but I would like to have the labs redrawn to make sure I have recovered fully. The white blood cell counts were all over the place when I was in the ER and I want to make sure there isn’t something behind all of this other than dehydration from the colonoscopy prep.

Jason and I are meeting for lunch tomorrow. I need to get some groceries so need to go to town. It will be good to meet up with Jason and have lunch and then I will go get what groceries I need.

Thursday I am having lunch with a friend and then will have the NP appointment at 3:30. I have not yet heard from the doctor’s office that was to do the colonoscopy. Beginning to think they won’t call. I will talk to the NP about it and see what she recommends.

I scheduled a weekend away for myself June 12, 13 and 14. A friend of mine is hosting a retreat of sorts on the 13th and invited me to join them. I will drive to a hotel the 12th, go to the day retreat and then back to the hotel for the night. Sunday my friend and her friends are doing a group reading early afternoon in KC. I will attend that and then come home. I think a weekend away is just what my soul needs. It has been a bit since I was with a small group that focused on the things I love to talk about.

Saw where June 27 is the next No Kings Rally. Not sure if I want to plan something or what I want to do that day. The big gathering is hard for me to go to as most of the people are protesting against something instead of advocating what they are for. Hard to be around that type of energy. Not sure I have it in me to organize something though. Maybe someone else will come up with the type of event I can attend.

Still sitting with Love in Action and trying to decide what I need to change. I think I need to find someone to take over the Pen Pal program. I am frustrated with it and am not sure what to do with that. People are not corresponding on a regular basis. They can let two or three weeks go by without sending a letter. That doesn’t sit right with me but not sure how to motivate them to do better. I won’t give those people another match when their match moves on. One of those programs that it would be easier if I just did it myself. I was trying to find something that others could get involved in.

Maybe I don’t play well on a team anymore? Maybe this program isn’t meant to be? Maybe I need to screen the volunteers better? Not sure what the solution is yet. I am attempting to let it sit for a bit and see if the solutions will come to me.

Grateful for a second sleep today, grateful I have the privilege to take days and not do anything, and grateful laundry got done today.

Kathy and I headed for Wichita this morning a little after 10:30. First stop was at Chipotle for lunch. We managed to hit it at the right time and there was no wait. By the time we ate and left, there was a long line.

We went to Costco. Parking was at the end of the row. That should have been my first clue that it was going to be crowded inside. After being home for most of last week I found Costco to be loud and way too many people for my liking today. I got what I needed and got out of there. I didn’t do much shopping to see what they might have that wasn’t on my list.

The drive today was beautiful. The sun was peeking out between the clouds and casting spotlights on the prairie. I love when it does that. The ponds are full and so are the ditches. Water, water everywhere.

We got the car unloaded when we got home and I haven’t done much since. Watched the Sound of Music. I haven’t watched that for a long time. Can’t believe it came out in 1965. I remember my Aunt Marylyn taking me to see it when I spent some time with her family. We didn’t ever get to go to indoor movie places so it was a special treat.

No plans for this week except for lunch with a dear friend on Thursday. I probably should go to town one of these days and get some groceries. Maybe I can meet up with Jason for lunch and do two things in one trip to town.

Thinking about putting together a questionnaire of sorts for Love in Action. I need to find out what is working and what I can change. I realized today part of my feeling comes from all the repetition I have to do. Wondering if it is necessary. When I make a post I seem to get the same questions over and over. If I add fundraising information it feels like that takes away from the heart of the post. Yet when I don’t add it, the first comment will be about fundraising.

People don’t seem to go to the Love in Action page to find that information, or if they do they can’t find it. I need to change something or I am going to get too frustrated with it.

Can’t believe it has been almost a full year of doing this. I started Love in Action last July. I never dreamed it would turn into what it has become. Wonder what is ahead?

Grateful the Costco run got accomplished, grateful for the beauty of the hills, and grateful for a quiet day tomorrow.

Happy birthday to my youngest Nicole. She is my travel buddy and one of my best friends. I love to spend time with her. She does my soul good. I am so grateful she chose me to be her mother.

Rainy day on the prairie today. Thought about the bike riders and the rodeo people today. We have a couple more rounds coming in this evening and one of them looks like we need to put our seat belts on. We have a nice pond in the yard from all the rain we got today.

I didn’t do much today. I woke up early this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep but never felt like I woke all the way up. Took a chair nap late morning but never did wake up all the way.

My tummy didn’t feel good today. After I ate breakfast of eggs and toast about an hour or so later I felt as full as if I had eaten a huge Thanksgiving feast. That lasted for several hours. Sure wish I knew why I did that and what I could do to stop it. I really need to decide what to do about a gastro doctor and get an appointment made. Not sure I trust the office that ordered the colonoscopy. They never have reached out about the results of the MRI I had done early May.

I posted the month end report for Love in Action today. A day early but close enough.

Kathy and I may go to Costco tomorrow if the weather looks OK. I have a couple things I need and I need to get out of the house. I don’t want to go to Emporia with all the bikers still in town.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I am meeting a dear friend for lunch on Thursday. That will give me something to look forward to all week.

Thinking about asking a few of the Love in Action supporters to meet with me. I am missing something but can’t put my finger on what it is. Maybe if I ask a few for what they would do differently if they were running the program I can figure it out. I have lots of free time and could drive to meet them for lunch or we could do phone chats.

Kathy and I both need to upgrade our phones. What is the best provider out there? I think if we combine plans we can save money and only have one plan between us instead of two individual ones. I am never impressed with Verizon’s service in Emporia. Cell service in Cottonwood Falls is not good and some of the providers are worse than others.

Today was one of those days where the empty space felt uncomfortable for me. Not that I had the energy to do something if I had something to do today. Feels like I am in a bit of a quagmire and not sure how to get out of it. I’m sure I may feel completely different in a day or two.

Grateful for Nicole’s presence in my life, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful for a chair nap.

A quiet day at home. It is muggy out today. I finally turned the A/C on as the temperature inside was 80. I don’t do well when it is hot and humid. It feels like summer has arrived and is here to stay.

I did run to the local bank to deposit a donation check for Love in Action. I appreciate the donors support and it is an honor to take a check to the bank.

Did laundry today and actually got it folded and put away. I don’t always get that part done. Had mainly pajamas and lots of underwear this time – guess I can tell what I have been doing the last couple of days!

Haven’t done much else today. Still have some housecleaning that needs done but it seems to patiently wait for me. Maybe this weekend I will get motivated and get some of it taken care of.

No plans for the weekend. Too many people out and about the next couple of days to leave the house. Rodeo fans are out and about locally and bike riders are in Emporia. I may walk up and watch the parade tomorrow afternoon if I can handle the heat. I must be a wicked witch as I melt in the heat.

Found out the beef I get every year from a local rancher is going to the butcher place in July. I have it all spoken for this year. It is always nice to get fresh beef in the freezer. I don’t use near as much as I used to but I do like having it on hand. I provide some for my kids and they seem to appreciate it. Not sure I am excited about writing the check for it this year. I looked up prices and it is sky high this year. I don’t doubt the value for the rancher and am glad they are finally getting paid a fairer price. Wonder how much the processing plant has raised their prices? How do families with young children afford to eat?

Need to get my notary renewed this year. I have barely used it but it is nice to have, I haven’t done a renewal before so need to figure out how to do that. You have to have a bond and I am assuming the company I got the bond with when I first became a notary will send papers so I can renew the policy. I have until August 1 so still have some time to figure it all out.

The Detainee pen pal from Germany sent me his wife’s contact information. She wanted to see the article I posted about him on the Love in Action Facebook page. I sent it to her and she sent a nice response.

Got the new carbon Monoxide Alarms in and of course they don’t fit the screws to attach it to the wall where the other one was. I want to order a light fixture to go above the kitchen sink. When that comes in, I will have Phil over to take care of those two little projects.

This day has felt a bit hard for me. I was trying to do something on my desktop computer and it was not cooperating with me. I had absolutely no patience I discovered. Maybe it is a good thing I am staying home for a couple of days. I will keep myself in time-out until I can play nice with others.

Kathy was cleaning her room today and found a bunch of crumbs under her chair. She told me about them and I told her we must be related. We always find crumbs under my chair too. She said mom wouldn’t be impressed! I have to agree. We must take after dad more.

Feeling a bit cranky this afternoon. It has been a long week and I am still sorting it all out. Our medical system is so broken and I am not sure what to do at this point. This could have all been avoided if the PA had listened to me to start with. I feel small when I don’t get heard.

Grateful for A/C, grateful for a quiet weekend ahead, and grateful I have the privilege of putting myself into time-out and staying in.

Today has been a good day. I am feeling back to “normal”. I was surprised I slept any at all last night after sleeping most of yesterday. I was up between 1:00 and 5:00 this morning but managed to get more sleep before and after that. I enjoyed hearing and smelling the rain that happened overnight.

I forgot to wish my son-in-law Geoff a happy birthday yesterday. He got the card I mailed Saturday today. Oops. One of these years I will surprise him and get his card to him on time.

I went to the local bank and made a deposit and then stopped at Casey’s and got a huge iced tea. Trying to get lots of fluids in and tea goes down easier than most liquids for me.

Worked on the month end post for Love in Action. Not sure why but I had trouble balancing the books today. I kept making stupid mistakes. I will sit with what I wrote and recheck my numbers again before I post. One of those days where it didn’t go easy for me.

The big bike race is in Emporia this weekend and the rodeo here local. I think I will stay home most of the weekend. We might walk down to see the rodeo parade Saturday afternoon if it isn’t raining but otherwise I plan on staying home. Not safe to be on the highways with horses and bikes everywhere. The bikers are going through Matfield Green as it is one of their rest stops. They cross Highway 50 at Road W. I heard they were reducing the speed limit for a bit around that road. Wonder if drivers will do so? I have my doubts.

I fixed rice and chicken to have for lunch. I made it bland on purpose and I was able to eat it and it didn’t bother my tummy. I will eat on the leftovers for the weekend instead of eating out. The restaurants locally and in Emporia will be full all weekend.

Man it feels good to feel good. I am amazed at how fast my body can recover. I am grateful for that. I tend to take my heath for granted until something like this happens and it always humbles me a bit. There are no guarantees for any of us that things will remain as they are today in many different ways.

I changed the photo for the home page of Love in Action to a photo of the new business cards. I think the automatic posts that Facebooks generates about someone changing their profile picture are redundant and I tried deleting the post that stated I had changed the profile picture. When I deleted that post, it changed the profile picture to a generic picture. Wonder why that post is required and not deletable? The business cards has the 501(c)3 ID number as well as the mailing address and phone number for Love in Action. People are always asking for that information. Wonder if this will slow down those requests? I honestly doubt it but I tried.

In the month end report I am writing I wrote about bearing witness. I may end up deleting it as I think those that already understand it don’t need to read about it again and those that don’t understand won’t get it. You can only read and understand what you are ready to learn. I keep reminding myself we really are splitting into two different realities and the two realities can’t communicate with each other.

I haven’t heard from the reporter from Wichita about the story he is working on about the Detainees and Love in Action. Maybe other stories more urgent came up and this story fell apart or got delayed. The way the news cycle works these days is so wild that what was important one day is pushed to the back burner the next day.

Struggling with what day of the week it is today. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday seemed to be a week long and I kept thinking today was Saturday. I almost didn’t go to the bank because I thought it had closed early. Glad I checked my iPad yet again to see what day of the week it is. I was surprised every time I checked that today was Thursday.

Still sitting with Love in Action and listening for prompts about what needs to change. I feel like I am missing something important about it but not sure what that is. We are so limited as to what we can do. Maybe what I am feeling is the “not enough” syndrome that plagues me occasionally. I have done lots of work on myself to eliminate the “not enough” thought pattern but it does raise its head once in a while yet. Just testing me to see if I got my lesson, I think.

Grateful to be feeling back to “normal”, whatever that is, grateful for the gentle night-time rain that fell last night, and grateful for my son-in-law Geoff.

I have done nothing but sleep all day. The running to the bathroom has finally stopped. I went a couple times during the night but not near like I had been doing.

I woke up with a temp of 102.8 this morning. Felt like I had been hit by a bus. My jaws and shoulders ached bad. The rest of me didn’t feel so hot either.

I ate a few Ritz crackers and a banana today. Progress! Every time I woke up I would attempt to drink something. Sometimes I could get more down than others. My temp is gone this afternoon and the soreness is getting better. Think I am on the mend.

I sent a regret to the meeting I was to have attended this evening. Didn’t seem wise to go and it would have required way too much energy I don’t have.

I am doing a load of laundry to clean up the oops clothes I dirtied. I felt like a toddler while I was at the hospital at times. Oh well, it was what it was. I finally figured out to go every ten minutes rather I needed to or not. Every time I would get in the bathroom I needed to.

Thinking by tomorrow I will have some energy back and things will start trending up. What an experience. The bad news is I got no answers to my tummy issues and have no plans to go through this again. The Doctor’s office that was to have done the procedure didn’t call today. Not sure I will hear from them. I will sit with all this for a bit and decide if I want to go see a different doctor or let it all ride for a bit.

I need to deep clean my bathroom. I am grateful the sewer was able to handle all the times I flushed. Don’t have the energy to clean it today but maybe by tomorrow I can. It is a mess!

No plans for the rest of the week and weekend. It will do my body good to have lots of empty space and rest. Not sure I will be able to sleep tonight after sleeping all day. I still feel very tired so maybe?

Another reality check for me. Without one’s health what does one have? Must be time for me to make some changes and get back on the path towards wellness.

Grateful to be on the mend, grateful for the ability of my body to bounce back, and grateful for all the sleep I have gotten today.

Had a very long and rough night last night. Trips to the bathroom every five- ten minutes for four hours and then every 10 – 15 minutes for the next four hours.

I was on a liquid diet today and thought I was doing a good job drinking 10 -12 oz every hour. I took my four laxative tablets at 4:00 and then drank the first of the two Mirilax cocktails I was to take. I only got a little over half of the first one down and things took a turn south.

I happened to have some Zofran on hand so took that for the nausea. Every five minutes to the bathroom and then I started running a 101.3 temperature. I quickly became dehydrated.

I called the doctor that was to do the procedure in the morning and he cancelled the procedure and told me to go to ER for fluids. He told me to call the office tomorrow and reschedule. Not a chance in hell I am going through this again. There has to be an alternative way or I will just learn to live with having bathroom issues.

Kathy took me in. Not sure I was impressed with the doctor tonight but I did get a bag of fluids. I went to the bathroom every ten minutes and had one oops. It was hard to manage an IV, a finger monitor, an urgent need and get to the bathroom on time. Thank heavens Kathy was there to help.

She dug around in the bathroom and found an adult diaper for me. It was big enough to stretch to cover my boobs. We decided it was a look! Not sure what kind of look but definitely a fashion statement of some sort!

They did labs and my white blood cell counts were off in several ways. My kidneys are not too happy with me today either. After we had been there for two hours they said they needed a UA. Luckily by then I had gotten most of the bag of fluids and I was able to produce on demand. After another hour the doctor came in and said all the labs looked good and I could go home. He didn’t mention the ones that were off. Maybe that was expected results with dehydration?

We were there over three hours and after the nurse got the IV started I didn’t see her again until she brought in the discharge papers. We had to put the light on to tell them the IV bag was empty. A different nurse came in and said she would tell my nurse. No one did anything. 30 minutes later blood was starting to move up the IV line so we put the light on again. This time an aide came in and flushed out the line and shut it off.

The good news is we don’t have to get up early and go to Topeka tomorrow. I hope Kathy can sleep in as she is up way past her bedtime. We saw three deer on the way home. One of them was on the highway but turned and went to the other lane. We were lucky.

I haven’t eaten anything all day and I am not hungry tonight. Hoping tomorrow things will settle down and I can resume eating and stay out of the bathroom longer than ten minutes at a time.

Life has a way of giving me detours when I least expect them. Although I did tell the NP that prescribed the Colonoscopy that last time I had one done I almost got into trouble with it and she said things are different now I would be OK. Not sure I will go back to this office. Still no answers about the stone in my pancreas duct and my tummy issues. Now what to do????

Grateful I am feeling better tonight and things are slowly slowing down, grateful Kathy was here and could drive me in, and grateful I can sleep in my own bed tonight.

I didn’t find sleep until after 3:00 this morning. I slept in a bit but got up and didn’t feel too rested.

I went to the reunion around 12:45. I got there at the perfect time as they were gathered in a circle and were quiet. That is hard to make happen with this group! I told them Aunt Marylyn wasn’t able to come but she sent her love.

I took two cards for all to sign to send good wishes and prayers to Marylyn. I hung around for about an hour and talked to the cousins that I know the best. Got them all to sign the card and then came home. Addressed the cards and put them in the mail box to go out in the mail tomorrow.

I started the colonoscopy prep this afternoon. Took four laxatives at 4:00 and then drank a bottle of magnesium citrate at 6:00. So far no action but am expecting things to get moving very quickly. I feel a bit nauseous. I hope that goes away when things move.

Tomorrow I am going to visit a friend in Manhattan if things aren’t moving too fast. I have to be home by 4:00 to start another round of prep. Tomorrow is clear liquid day. I didn’t eat much today and I am grateful since I am a bit nauseous.

OK it just hit. Three times in ten minutes. Think I will sign off so I can run faster! Wish me luck.

Grateful to see my mother’s first cousins today, grateful for a quiet afternoon at home, and grateful for a small house so the bathroom isn’t very far away.

I finally got some sleep last night. It felt so good! Sure would love to find the key to making that happen most nights instead of rarely.

I took a long drive through the hills today. I wanted to lay some flowers at the grave of Jack Spain. He had married my grandmother Hope after granddad Fred died. We all loved him and appreciated him.

I went through Matfield Green and took open range road. I was going to take a short detour and go by my great grandparents house but decided not to. The gravel roads are hard on tires and I decided I didn’t want to put more miles than necessary.

The hills are beautiful and there are lots of wild flowers blooming. I was watching for orange butterfly bush but I didn’t see any.

I managed to find the cemetery in Wonsevu. I wasn’t able to find his grave though. I found the grave of a GW Spain and left the flowers there.

I came home the other way and ended on G Road to Highway 50. Less hard gravel that way but the view was better the other way.

There was a truck stopped by the well. I checked with the four men that they weren’t stranded. I think it is an unwritten law out in the gravel roads in the hills that you make sure anyone you pass doesn’t have a flat tire. That truck was the only vehicle I saw on the whole trip while I was on gravel roads. I did pass one man outside his house in the middle of nowhere.

It took me over two hours to do the round trip as I only drove 20 MPH on the hard gravel. I wasn’t in a hurry and the hills were beautiful today. It did my soul good to get out in the hills today.

Had a phone visit with my Aunt Marylyn this afternoon. Unfortunately she isn’t coming to the reunion tomorrow. She has several medical things going on and didn’t feel comfortable being away from home. She wants me to go and let others know she loves them and was sorry she couldn’t make it. Guess I will go up after lunch and let everyone know. I need to eat light tomorrow to start the prep for Wednesday’s colonoscopy.

Tuesday afternoon I am going to visit some friends in Manhattan. I hope I can figure out how to get through the detour. I will have to be home by 4:00 so I can take the last part of the prep. I hope I am not making a mistake by not being close to a toilet all day Tuesday. If things are going strong Tuesday morning I will cancel.

I’ll be glad when Wednesday is over and hopefully find some answers to my tummy issues. I don’t look forward to the next two days of prep but thousands before me have done this and I did it once before. I can do this! Sometimes you have to climb a mountain to get to the prize.

Feeling like a change is headed my way again – something to do with Love in Action but I have no idea what it might be. Something feels wrong about how I am doing things now. Not even sure how or why – I just have a strong feeling that I am missing something important.

I will sit with this and see what comes up. I have run this entire project completely on intuition and I know it will continue to lead me down the right path.

Grateful for the beautiful Flint Hills that restore my heart, grateful for the life and love of Jack Spain, and grateful for no flat tires today.

Kathy and I did the cemetery run this morning. Our first stop was at the Cottonwood Falls Cemetery where we laid flowers for our great grandparents Ray and LuLu Patton and Ray’s parents NM and Clara Patton. We are fifth generation Chase County residents.

We then went to the cemetery in Florence where our parents, grandparents (mother’s side) and Mom’s two sisters and three brother-in-laws are all buried.

Off to Hillsboro where our grandparents on our dad’s side of the family are buried along with one of their sons.

We came home after that. We may try to find Wonsevu Cemetery tomorrow so we can lay flowers for Jack Spain who married our grandmother Hope Patton Koch after our grandfather Fritz died. I haven’t been there for a long time but have a general idea where it is. Don’t know if GPS will help or not.

Kathy was able to use the new mower today and she loved it. It starts very easily and is a bit wider than the old one. She did have to charge the batteries to get the job finished. They don’t take long to charge though. She said she had to put it on low speed as otherwise she would have had to run to keep up with it. Grateful that problem is solved for her and grateful she loves to mow. I’m glad I got the bigger mower and the longer lasting battery one as the smaller one would have had to have been charged twice for her to finish the yard.

I had two five gallon gas cans to get rid of as well as a weed eater. Kathy doesn’t like the heavy gas weed eater and bought herself a battery operated one. We need to clean out the shed and get rid of lots of things. It is way too crowded. I told Kathy as we go through it, if we find things we haven’t used since we moved in two years ago it is getting thrown out or given away.

I wrote a post for Love In Action today welcoming all the new members. Anytime we post a story we get lots of new members as the posts get shared. The post sharing the story about the man that came to the US when he was 16 from Germany has been read over 19,000 times now. The post I wrote is too long but I couldn’t figure out what to leave out. I tend to be way too wordy when I write.

The carbon monoxide detector decided to tell us it has expired and needs replaced at 3:30 this morning. I hadn’t fallen asleep until around 3:00. I didn’t know if it was telling me to get out of the house or what. I finally found the decoder for the number of beeps on the back of it. Then I didn’t know how many beeps it had beeped. I figured if it was telling us to get out of the house it wouldn’t stop beeping. I did turn the furnace off and open a window just in case. Hard to figure that stuff out in the middle of the night. Is it just me or is that when smoke detector batteries tend to talk to you too?

I hadn’t realized the carbon monoxide detectors had a shelf life. I ordered two new ones and they will be here sometime next week. I paid a bit more and got some that are good for ten years this time instead of the cheaper one that was only good for five.

No plans for tomorrow unless we decide to go to Wonsevu. The hills were so pretty today that we might take that drive if it isn’t raining. I have to travel lots of gravel roads to get there and don’t want to do that if it is raining.

Monday is the family reunion. I have to start my colonoscopy prep so won’t be able to eat much. I may wait and go until I think they are done eating and then go visit for a bit. Tuesday is full on prep day and a liquid diet day and then Wednesday I have to be in Topeka by 8:30. Kathy is going with me so she can drive me home afterwards. I truly hopes this test gives me some answers as to why my tummy is so reactive and unhappy a lot of the time.

Still seem to have lots of empty space on my calendar these days. Starting to feel a bit antsy about all the empty space. Need to find a new project to do. I manage life better when I have a couple productive days a week and lately it doesn’t feel like I have had a productive day. But I don’t feel a pull to be around people. Uhm…. I have myself a quagmire of sorts.

Grateful for the memories of the people who’s graves we visited today, grateful the new mower works better for Kathy, and grateful I figured out we weren’t in danger when the carbon monoxide detector yelled at us during the middle of the night.

I was rudely woken up this morning for yet another phone call from the doctor’s office that is doing my colonoscopy next Wednesday. Do they really need to read me the copy of instructions I already have three times? I wasn’t very polite with her, I’m afraid. Seriously! Enough already.

Went to Emporia and had lunch at Applebee’s and then went to Walmart. I think half of Emporia chose to go there while I was there. They moved the parking for on-line pickup orders to their regular parking lot and parking is hard to find now.

I got some flowers to decorate graves with and some groceries and got out of there. The check-out wasn’t too backed up but getting to my car and out of the parking lot felt like I was risking my life.

Kathy had gone to the movies with some friends. When she got home she went over to our neighbor that had volunteered to work on the lawn mower to see if he was able to fix it. He was not. He said the engine was ruined. I bought the mower when I moved in here two years ago!

Kathy and I went to Walmart to get a new one. I always get overwhelmed when I look at the selection and am not sure what to do. I asked the clerk if there was someone that could help me. She said what do you need help with. I told her I had questions about the mowers. She said she would call someone to help me.

Five minutes later I went to find her and she was talking to two other clerks. She saw me and said oh, I forgot.

Kathy and I picked one out and I went to get the clerk to tell her we needed help lifting it and putting it in the car. I asked her if I could pay and then go move my car. She said she had to have the mower at the register to ring it out.

I handed Kathy my card and went to get my car and moved it close to the garden center. When I came back in Kathy had just checked out. They were going to send us out with it without helping to load it.

I asked for help and they sent one little girl to help us load the 88 pound mower box into my car.

Walmart – do better!

Kathy is putting it together and is to call me if she needs help. We got a battery powered one. I trust it will last longer than two years.

I hate buying things like this as I have no understanding of all the extras and details about them. I’m not interested in learning about them either.

I must be cranky again! Two trips to Emporia in one day will do that to me. Kathy was nervous about the yard getting mowed and I knew I needed to take care of the lawn mower situation. Grateful that is taken care of. I just hope we can figure out how to run the damn thing and that it works.

Tomorrow we plan on doing the cemetery run unless it is raining. If it rains, we will try again Sunday. Monday I have a reunion to go to if I can make myself go. Wednesday I have the colonoscopy that I should be well prepared for since I have been read the instructions three times and have them printed out for me to read too.

Life feels a bit hard to me right now. I am working to release some energy I have picked up that isn’t mine to carry. Sometimes that process takes longer than I feel like it should. Grateful I recognized what I had done and am working to release it.

Grateful for our neighbor that attempted to work on the old mower, grateful there were mowers in stock, and grateful the sun came out to shine this afternoon.

I went to the Detention Center to meet with the reporter and some of the staff. All the reporter wanted was a photo of me with three of the staff from the Center. That is worse for me than being interviewed!

We did stand around and visited for a bit. I asked the Sheriff, Captain and the Lieutenant for some ideas of what Love in Action can do next. Father’s Day is coming up as is the 4th of July. I also told them we would do another bigger project if they can think of one.

I asked today to make sure I understood it correctly that the Detainees are never allowed to go outside. That is true. There is a window in the exercise room that can be opened on nice days but it is a high window and all the Detainees can see is the sky. I can’t imagine never being able to look outside or go outside for years at a time.

I then asked if they had ever priced adding a yard for the Detainees to go outside into. They had and the requirements are prohibitively expensive. They are talking Guards’s towers, outside restrooms, special fencing, etc. Nothing is ever as simple as I think it should be. Can’t blame me for asking though.

The reporter and his photographer were nice people. He asked a few questions and I am not sure what angle of story he is writing. The Captain said the reporter is supposed to send us all a copy of the story before it is published.

I went to the Grand for lunch and then came home. I hadn’t been home long when the couple I met on the Camino that live in CA FaceTimed with me. I hadn’t seen their sweet faces for months. It was so good to see them. She is taking chemo for lung cancer. She said the only side effect she has from the chemo is fatigue. She sleeps 12 hours every night and then takes a three hour nap every afternoon.

I took a long chair nap this afternoon. The session at the Center drained me today. My reserve tank seems to be running low these days.

I got a request from a detainee to be a pen pal. I got her matched up and sent her a welcome post.

I got an email from the young man that came over from Germany. His I130 was approved. That is the pathway to citizenship via marriage. Now he has to wait for his green card to be approved and then he can be released and reunite with his family and stay in the USA. He isn’t sure how long it will take for his green card to be approved. The branch that does that is not used to working with someone that is detained. Why he can’t be released now is beyond my understanding but most things related to immigration is these days.

I didn’t make it to Emporia today. I will need to go tomorrow as I need flowers for the cemetery run we are making this weekend. I also need some groceries. Nicole and Geoff have birthdays next week and I need to get something to send them in their cards and get the cards off. They may not get them next week even if I get them sent tomorrow.

It has been a cool, cloudy day. I had to turn the furnace back on and have had my little space heater running all afternoon. I miss the sunshine! We needed the rain but I am ready for blue skies and sunshine again. I will be complaining about the heat soon though. Guess I am hard to please!

Tomorrow I will go to Emporia and take care of some errands. One day this weekend we will do the cemetery thing and then I have a family reunion to go to Monday. Monday begins my colonoscopy prep. I’ll have to read the instructions to see what I can eat that day. Wednesday is my colonoscopy and then if I feel up to it a meeting that evening in Emporia.

Feeling good about the great news from the pen pal from Germany. Rarely do Detainees get released so that feels huge! Wonder if I will get to transport him to his home in Junction City when he gets released? That would be a fun transport. I am betting his wife will come get him as she hasn’t seen him in person since last December.

Hoping I can find some motivation soon to get some things done. This whole month has almost slipped by and I don’t think I did much of anything the whole month. Not sure why I have been so drained lately. It is what it is and I am grateful I have had the time to take a bit of a time-out and allow my body to move at the pace it wants to move – which is like a turtle speed.

Grateful for the good news from the pen pal today, grateful for reporters that tell others the stories behind the headlines, and grateful for a long chair nap.

Another non productive day. Sleep was weird last night as I kept waking up to change my dream channel. I got lots of sleep, just in bits and pieces. Most of the time I could go back to sleep fairly quickly.

I got word from the Detainee that I wrote about yesterday. He had his hearing today and nothing was decided yet again. His next hearing is June 19. The judge did tell him there may be a decision on his I130 case but that branch of Immigration will communicate the results of that to him via letter. He is still detained.

He sent me a nice note thanking me for the support. I had told him over 10,000 people (it is now over 15,000) have read the note I posted on Facebook. He said he didn’t know there were that many people out here that cared about the immigrants.

I wrote a couple of posts for Love in Action. I had to rewrite one of them several times as I didn’t want my anger to show. I got tired of the responses that told me what to do for him when I can’t take those actions. Man it is hard to sit with bearing witness and not “fix” it. I found myself doing that as I read the comments – wanting to “fix” the person telling me what to do rather than sit with what was being said. Good lesson in there for me.

Kathy had to take the lawn mower to our neighbor again as she couldn’t get it started again. If he can’t fix it this time and it stays working I will need to get a different one and sell this one. It is too frustrating for Kathy to deal with a mower that won’t start. She has had nothing but trouble with this one since we first got it two years ago.

Talked to Nicole for a bit today. Just what my heart needed! She helped remind me about dealing with people. I needed that reminder today!

A new friend commented on my blog post last night. It felt like a hug! Again, the universe is providing what I need!

The place where I am having my colonoscopy called me again today to go over the rules. Evidently they have problems with people not following them as this is the second time they have called me. The nurse went over them with me too and I have them printed out. The lady told me to bring the paperwork with me and I told her I hadn’t received it. She put me on hold and came back and said they had forgot to send it out. I told her maybe it would be better for her to call her own office and remind them of what needs to happen instead of me! She gave me several alternative ways to do the paperwork after first telling me I needed to come to their office and pick up a set. I told her that wasn’t going to happen as I am almost 100 miles from there and I was not going to make a trip to Topeka for their mistake. I have half a notion not to do the alternative paperwork and go empty handed. This is on them. I had to fill out the same paperwork for the doctor’s office which is across the hall from the procedure room. If they need it that bad, they can walk across the hall and get it.

Can you tell I am still a bit cranky today? I think I almost have solid ground under me again but the nurse called and triggered me again. It has been hard for me to refill myself today.

Tomorrow I have an interview with a reporter and the Captain of the Center. Trusting I will find the words that I need. I do not want this story to be about me – I want it to be about the work that is being done.

Saturday Kathy and I will probably do the cemetery run if it isn’t raining. We can put if off till Sunday it if is raining Saturday. I need to go to Emporia tomorrow afternoon and get some groceries and flowers for the graves.

Monday I have a family reunion to go to and Wednesday is my colonoscopy. I have to start prepping for it Monday.

It will do me good to have to get out of the house tomorrow. I really need to be around people more but it is getting increasingly difficult for me to make myself get out and about. The energy of the world is crazy right now! Things must be coming to a head and are going to explode soon.

Grateful the universe provided for me today in several ways, grateful for the sleep I got last night, and grateful I have to get out of the house tomorrow.