Starry night on the prairie

This has been a delightful rest day for me. I did leave the house twice. Once to take a check to the bank to deposit it and the second time was to take a form to the Detention Center. The ice cream treats we purchased for the Detainees for Valentine’s Day were on sale so we get a bit of a refund. They needed my EIN number so they could issue a check.

Other than that all I have gotten done is two loads of laundry. I have one load folded and put away and need to fold the second load.

It was nice to see the sun come out and play for a bit today. We missed the rain that was around us during the day. Had some thunderstorms during the night but didn’t get lots of rain. It is to be mostly sunny tomorrow and sunny all day Sunday and Monday. I am so ready for a sunny day or two.

I got the explanation of benefits for my surgery at St. Lukes. They charged Medicare $76,057 for the surgery and the one night stay. Medicare will pay $9,048 of it. My supplemental insurance will pay $5,401 and I will pay $87. Someone explain this to me please. How much would someone had to pay that didn’t have insurance? Those numbers don’t include the surgeon fee and the anesthesia fees. If you want a snap shot of what is wrong with our health system, I think that would do it.

The doctor did four different procedures during the surgery and billed for each one separately.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. Michelle might come over so I can do her taxes. Tagen has to work this weekend but he said he would come out next weekend to get his done.

I do not look forward to daylight savings time change Saturday night. I like daylight in the morning.

Trying to decide if I want to go to Costco tomorrow or wait and try to fit it in while I am in KC Monday. I have a little over an hour between my appointments so probably could fit it in although it would be cutting it close with driving distance between appointments. Tomorrow would allow me to be more relaxed about going. I’ll see what the weather is like tomorrow and what mood I am in. What I need can wait a bit so no real rush to go tomorrow if I am not in the mood to do so.

I have a deep feeling that something has shifted again. Either that or I have detached from the chaos more. It feels more and more like we are in the final stages of the noise and change underneath it all has already happened. I still think we still have pain to get through but something feels different to me.

Grateful for a rest day at home, grateful for two more rest days ahead of me, and grateful for medical insurance.

I was in Emporia before 9:00 to do another tax shift. We had several cancellations today so it was an easy day. I was out of there just a little after noon.

Stopped at Walmart and picked up the prescription I went to town for yesterday. I hit them at a good time as there was no line. I got the script and then got out of there.

Stopped and had lunch and then came home. I am really tired this afternoon and my bones feel cold. Not a good combination. I may go put the electric blanket on and crawl in bed for a bit and warm up. I may fall asleep but have no plans for tomorrow so no worries if that happens.

Got another donation check in the mail today. We are getting pretty close to reaching our $5,000 goal for the piece of exercise equipment. I will have to wait to pay it out though until I can raise another couple hundred more so we have money for stamps if needed. Providing stamps is our primary purpose so don’t want to run out of money and not be able to do that.

The sun popped out for a short bit today but has since returned to hiding. It was misting when I went to town this morning. I am ready for sunshine and spring days. Enough with the clouds, especially when it doesn’t rain enough to count.

Not looking forward to daylight savings time this weekend. I still don’t understand how moving when the sunlight is makes for more sunlight.

I go to KC Monday for a doctor’s appointment. It will be a long day in KC as I am meeting someone for an hour before my doctor’s appointment and then meeting Nicole and Geoff for dinner. I have tax’s to do on Tuesday so won’t get a day of rest between.

No plans for the weekend. Have some little things that need done if I find the energy and motivation to get them done. If things aren’t urgent, they tend to sit and wait for me.

It will be good to get officially released from my surgery restrictions Monday. I am grateful I had the surgery as it fixed a couple of annoying issues I was having. I will be interested to see what he says about the pancreas stone if he even will talk about it. I will now have to start walking and getting back into shape somehow. I really need to make that a priority but struggle to do so.

Looking forward to three stay at home type of days. I certainly function better when I can make that happen. If anyone needs their taxes done, hit me up this weekend and we can get them knocked out. No charge.

Grateful for an easy tax day today, grateful I was able to stop and get the prescription I needed, and grateful I get to stay home for a couple of days.

Another rainy day in Kansas. Not sure we have gotten much measurable rain but it has been lightly misting off and on all day. I’m ready for some sunshine.

I went to town at noon. I met Jason and had lunch with him. Always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids.

My luck ended after lunch though. I stopped at Country Mart to order some cookies for an event coming up the end of March. Found out they are becoming a Goods store. The lady at the bakery told me she couldn’t guarantee they could do the cookies and wouldn’t know for sure until a couple days before the event. Decided I better not risk it and I will figure something else out.

Went to Walmart to pick up my prescription. Their computers were down and they had no idea when they would be back up. Guess it was a statewide event. Dang it anyways.

Got a new space heater as the one I got last week was too loud and didn’t have a thermostat. I never felt warm sitting in front of it. The new one is working much better.

Went to the gas pumps to fill my car. The first pump I pulled into had a bag over the nozzle. Had to find another one. They were busy and it was a challenge to find an empty pump on the correct side of my car.

Realized when I was done pumping gas I had left my phone in my cart. Went back to Walmart and went to the customer service department. Luckily some kind angel had turned it in and it was there.

Came home a bit cranky. The two things I had gone to town for I didn’t get done. I should have stayed home and waited to get the prescription after I am done with taxes tomorrow. At least I got to have lunch with Jason and I now have a space heater that keeps me warm.

I got a donation for Love in Action in the mail today. That was a good thing. I also got another VENMO donation. I have to find an alternative to VENMO and not sure what that will be. I am going to run into problems at the end of the year as I have to send a letter to anyone that donates more than $250 over the year. I need mailing addresses in order to do that and VENMO doesn’t provide that. I have sent a few PM’s to people that have donated asking for that information and so far no one has responded.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia by 9:00 to do taxes again. Maybe I can make myself go early and stop by Walmart on the way so I can get the prescription. It is hard for me to stop after doing taxes as I am usually peopled out by then.

Nothing on my calendar for the weekend. I have a busier week next week so will enjoy the quiet weekend.

Next Monday I have to go to KC to see my surgeon for the last time. I am meeting a lady that has lots of nonprofit experience before my appointment and then after my appointment I am meeting Nicole and Geoff for dinner. It will be a long day in KC. Tuesday and Thursday I am doing taxes. Hoping I have Wednesday and Friday off but we shall see if they stay open.

I am in conversation with a guy that might be providing the meat for the Singing our Resistance Rally the 28th. He asks me a question, I respond and then he takes a couple days to ask me something else. Wish I could get this locked down so I can scratch it off my pending list and forget about it. I will give him one more day and then I will go back to the supplier I know well and will book with them.

Still haven’t found an accountant. Jason told me he reminded the guy he referred to call me. I have left a couple messages and so far he hasn’t called me back. After I meet with that lady next week, I will call my own accountant if I don’t hear back from the other two I have left messages with. I need to get these taxes done and off my list.

We are getting close to reaching our goal of raising $5,000 for half of the cost of the piece of exercise equipment for the Detention Center. I need to raise another $1,000 after that to have some funds on home. I have been contacted by two different people that wanted permission to do a fundraiser of some sort over the next month or so. Both wanted a flyer or printed information. I don’t have that on hand but I gave them permission to put something together. I really don’t have the desire to have lots of extra money on hand. It seems when I have a real reason to raise funds the funds come in. I don’t like hoarding cash with all the needs that are out there right now.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon. It is probably energy I created when things didn’t go easy in town today. Need to sit with it a bit and listen to it and then release it. It was more of a minor inconvenience than a major incident but sometimes my nervous system can’t tell the difference between the two. Things don’t feel safe right now, even though they are.

Grateful to have lunch with Jason, grateful for a warm space heater, and grateful donations continue to come in for Love in Action.

It has been cold and cloudy and rainy off and on all day. Missing the sunshine.

I was in Emporia a little before 9:00 this morning. We did 16 returns today. Last month we only did 12 a day but bumped it up to 16 a day for March. Had a few that challenged me but we work well as a team and someone always knows the answer to the challenge. We got out of there around 12:30 which wasn’t bad. Sometimes when we did 12 we were there until 1:00 or after.

I stopped at Bobby D’s and had lunch. I was going to stop at Walmart to pick up a prescription but it was raining and I chickened out. I will either drive in tomorrow to get it or will force myself to pick it up Thursday after taxes. I need to stop and order some cookies for the 28th so may take care of both of those things tomorrow.

Haven’t done much since I got home. I didn’t sleep well again last night and I am tired today. Maybe I can crash hard and sleep tonight.

The specialist I was referred to that will check out the stone in my pancreas duct called today and made an appointment for me the 16th of April. The radiologist suggested I have another CT in two months so that is in that time frame. I will be anxious to see what they say.

Someone called and asked permission to do a little fundraising at a Democratic Convention this weekend. It didn’t take long for me to say yes! We had a nice phone conversation and connected a bit. So many people out there feeling the consequences of the ICE raids and the way things are being handled.

Unless I go to town tomorrow I have a quiet day at home with nothing on the calendar. Maybe I will be able to sleep in a bit and get rested. It feels like it has been a bit since I have felt rested.

The sleep apnea people called me today to tell me they got my referral. They are backed up so they didn’t give me a date to come in and get fitted for a sleep apnea machine. He hopes to be able to call in the next couple of weeks and schedule something. Not sure why he called today other than to tell me he had the referral. Not sure why they can’t book out ahead. Oh the questions I have that don’t have answers.

I do need to find an accountant to do Love in Action income tax return for last year. I can’t get accountants to call me back. Have left messages several times with two different ones but no luck. May have to pay the big bucks and take it to my accountant.

Things feel like they are settling back down again after all the excitement since last Thursday. I do function better when things are slow and calm. Funds continue to come in to Love in Action which is nice. The number of questions and comments has finally slowed down a bit. I will take one more look tonight to make sure I didn’t miss someone’s questions and then I might take tomorrow off from it. Sometimes I need to step away for a bit to remind myself it isn’t an emergency. Too many years in McDonald’s with a time clock ticking in my head and having to be very aware of how long customers were waiting.

Grateful to have a day off tomorrow, grateful the referrals went through, and grateful things are slowing back down.

Another, cloudy rainy day. It is too cold for my liking but we have had such a mild winter I shouldn’t complain. And it isn’t that cold – I just don’t tolerate cold well. I don’t tolerate heat well either. I am hard to please sometimes!

I went to Emporia mid day and finally picked up my prescriptions that were ready. Came home and discovered I had another one that needed filled. Rats. I have to go to town Tuesday and Thursday to do taxes and will force myself to stop and get it so I don’t run into the situation I did this week again.

A friend came over and I created and printed some gift certificates for him. He doesn’t have a computer and it was an easy thing for me to do.

Wrote a long post about the history of Love in Action and got it posted. We have more than doubled the number of people that are friends of the page and I keep getting asked the same questions over and over. I understand not everyone will read the long post but maybe it will cut down on the number of questions I have to respond to.

The post about transporting the Detainee has had over 53,800 people read it. Yikes! It has been shared 738 times. I can see some of the shared posts and am able to read some of the comments. Some of them are asking questions but the person that shared the post doesn’t allow comments from non friends. Some of the shared posts are set to private so I can’t read the comments. Not sure how to reach the people with questions but trusting they will find the Love in Action page themselves and get their questions answered.

We have raised over $4,000 towards the purchase price of $5,000 for the piece of exercise equipment. That would deplete my reserves though so am hoping to raise $6,000 over the next month or two. I let the Captain of the Center know that we should have the funds in the next couple of months.

Haven’t done much else today. I am tired for some reason today and didn’t do much. I am hoping I can go to bed early and fall asleep. I slept last night from 8:00 -10:00 and then was up off and on all night.

Got a call from my doctor with results of the sleep study. I do have sleep apnea so they are referring me to a provider of machines. I should hear within a week or two when i need to go in and get fitted. Oh the adventure of life seems to go on and on. I haven’t heard from the pancreas doctor yet. That feels more important to me but we shall see how long that referral takes to get an actual appointment. It took three months for my prolapse appointment and then another five months before he could do surgery.

I got a new little space heater today but I don’t like it. It is too loud and it didn’t help me feel warm. The room got warm but I couldn’t feel the heat transfer to me. Not sure if I will take it back or what. I guess I could put this one in the addition and use the one I have back there for the living room. The only problem is this one doesn’t have a thermostat so not sure it will work in the back room. It is almost warm weather season anyways. Maybe I will just deal with it and do something different for next winter.

The lunar eclipse is tomorrow morning early. The moon will turn blood red around 5:00 in the morning. Not sure I will be up to see it but if I do wake up I will try to remember to go out and look. I remember the last one and how amazing it was. If you get out to see it, take some pictures and post so I can enjoy it in case I sleep through it.

Tomorrow I go to Emporia to do taxes. We are going to add four more people to our schedule from now on so should stay steady busy all day. People will start coming in that have stocks and bonds so the returns are more complicated and take longer. I like the simple returns better but deal with whatever comes in. I am grateful I have some very competent co workers this year that don’t mind my questions. Most of the others were accountants and have years of experience doing taxes. I feel under qualified sometimes.

Things have felt a little crazy since Friday but seem to be starting to settle down. I feel an overwhelming amount of responsibility sometimes for Love in Action and need to learn to let go of some of that. It is such an honor to be trusted to handle other people’s donations and trust. Maybe one of these days I will settle into that more easily.

Next Monday I go see my surgeon for the last time. It will be good to finally get fully released. My six weeks has come and gone but he said I wasn’t fully released until I see him the 9th. I am meeting someone that day that has years of experience with nonprofits and she is going to talk me through some of the required forms that I have to file annually.

Feeling lots of gratitude this evening for all those that have joined me on my Love in Action adventure. I have made several new friends and would love to meet several others. Together we can accomplish lots and love wins!

Grateful to all who have joined me on my journey, grateful for all the interest in Love in Action, and grateful for the Captain that allows that all to happen.

Cold, rainy rest day. Haven’t done much at all today. Spent some time responding to posts on Facebook. The page I posted about transporting the Detainee has been read by over 46.1 thousand people. Wow! Grateful people are interested and are sharing the post. I think it is important that others know not all ICE Detainees that get picked up are criminals.

I didn’t make it to Emporia today. I thought about it a couple of times but couldn’t make myself go out in the cold and rain to go. I will have to go tomorrow as that is that last day the pharmacy will hold one of my prescriptions that I need to pick up. I need a few groceries and a new space heater so will do my best to make myself go to town.

Tuesday and Thursday I do taxes. Should have a couple more rest days this week. I still need to find an accountant to do the taxes for Love in Action. I may need to call my accountant if one of the other two that I have called don’t call me back.

One day next week I need to find someone to prepare the food I need for the potluck on the 28th. I know what type of food I want, just need to find someone to do it. I would like to find a blue supplier but don’t know if that is possible. The person I have used before is not blue!

The good news of the transport story is the number of people that have joined the Facebook page of Love in Action has doubled. We have raised over $1,500 since the story was posted. If we can double that amount we will reach our goal to purchase the piece of exercise equipment the Center has requested.

I still haven’t heard the results of my sleep study. If I don’t hear by Thursday I will have to call the sleep doctor and find out what is going on. It never impresses me when they take so long to send out results.

Hoping I hear about my referral to a doctor to look into the stone I have in a pancreas duct. My doctor said it could take up to a week or longer until I hear back. Wonder how far in the future that appointment will be? Doctors sure seem to enjoy good job security these days with appointments months away.

Still processing some emotion from Friday. It was such an honor to transport him but I have had to allow some anger feelings to be heard and be released. I work hard at staying present to what is and not allowing myself to play the game of what if. The Detainee showed me staying present in gratitude brings much more peace.

Grateful for a rest day, grateful for the wonderful response to the post, and grateful I have an easy week ahead.

This has been quite the day. I spent lots of it responding to posts about the post I made yesterday recounting my experience transporting a Detainee to KC. The original post was shared over 450 times and has been read by almost 30,000 people.

The good news is it generated some additional funds for Love in Action. We are almost halfway to our goal of raising $5,000 for the piece of exercise equipment they requested. I will write a month end recap tomorrow and hopefully the rest of the funds will come in. I haven’t set a deadline so there is no pressure to get the funds by a certain date.

Most of the comments have been very positive. It has been interesting to watch the responses though. Some people can only see the wrong and anger in what happened, some people can only see the love in the story. I have a feeling we are being called to hold both sides in our hearts. We have to see the wrongs that are happening so we can acknowledge them. We also have to hold hope and love. We are being called to be steady and hold both opposing sides at the same time. No one will be able to 100% do this but we can all strive to hold as much of what is wrong as we are able and balance that with as much love as we can experience.

Had a group of friends come over this afternoon for a great discussion. It will be interesting to see where we go from here.

I am tired this afternoon. I did some cleaning this morning and got things ready for the gathering. I did four loads of laundry although I haven’t gotten them folded and put away yet. I managed to get to the bank to deposit the check I was going to do yesterday. Thankful tomorrow is a rest day and I have nothing I have to do. I am overdue for a do nothing day.

Next week looks pretty quiet. I will be doing taxes Tuesday and Thursday but other than that have nothing on my calendar. I am ready for a quiet week.

I do need to run to Emporia and pick up that prescription. Not sure if I will do that tomorrow or Monday. We shall see what happens and how my energy is. Right now I am feeling a bit drained.

Had someone from the KC area reach out to me today. She has run a nonprofit for years and is willing to offer some guidance. I have to go to KC on March 9 for a doctor’s appointment so am going to meet up with her for an hour before my appointment.

It is so fun to see where Love in Action is taking me. I told someone today that I have put on my seat belt and am going for the ride. Have no idea where it will take me. Most of what happens is not planned but so far has worked out beautifully.

Grateful for the friends new and old that came over today, grateful for the positive response to my story about my experience yesterday and grateful tomorrow is a rest day.

Well, this day didn’t go as planned. I don’t think a trip to KC was on my BINGO card for the day.

Around 11:00 I was getting ready to go to Emporia to pick up a prescription. I got a call from the Captain at the Detention Center that he had an ICE Detainee that was being released and needed a ride to Emporia so he could rent a car. Perfect timing! I headed over to pick up the Detainee.

We went to Emporia to the Enterprise Rental and found out they didn’t have any cars available. We called two other places in Emporia and no one had a one-way rental car available.

We called Enterprise in Topeka and reserved a car and headed that way. We got there and then found out that he needed a hard copy of his driver’s license and he only had a paper copy. ICE had taken his license when he was picked up.

We then went to the Department of Homeland Security office which is out by the airport so he could get his driver’s license. I then took him to the airport rental place and he was finally able to secure a car so he could drive himself home.

He was born in Afghanistan and came to this country seeking political asylum some years ago. He was one appointment away from getting permanent status. They had given him work papers, a social security number and the ability to get a driver’s license. He was a truck driver in the US and had been in the Chicago area when he pulled into a mandatory weight station. ICE agents were there and he was pulled from his semi and put into handcuffs. He got sent to KC and then to the Detention Center in Chase County on December 15 last year.

He finally had his hearing this week and the judge granted him permanent legal status and was released from detention today, 75 days later.

Back home he was a teacher with a degree in political law. He is the oldest of eight children and he is the only one in the US. He sends most of his income home to help support his family. They didn’t know where we was for over four weeks. He found out on the trip to KC today that his uncle has passed away while he was in detention.

He was an amazing young man. He offered to pay for gas and to pay me for my time. I told him after what my country had done to him, he deserved some grace and mercy. He was very positive and grateful that he had gotten permanent status and didn’t seem angry that he had been held for so long.

I had to smile when he called the Caption the old man at the Center. There was a young man there that was helpful as well as some women. He was quite surprised there were women working in the Center with the men. We stopped to get gas and he got a cup of coffee which he really enjoyed.

He told me that other Detainees that have been held in the large warehouse type detention centers call the Chase County Detention Center a five star resort. He was grateful he was sent there as most of the people that were picked up the same time he was were sent to the big detention centers.

Transports don’t seem to go to plan. I am learning to expect the unexpected. The Captain was gracious and kept checking on me throughout the day to ensure I was safe. He apologized for it turning into a much bigger trip than just a drop off in Emporia.

I stopped at Walmart when I got back into Emporia so I could pick up a prescription but it was 5:15 and I couldn’t find the end of the line for the pharmacy. I will drive to town either Sunday or Monday and pick it up. I had run out of patience by that time and couldn’t make myself stand in line.

I didn’t get cookies baked for tomorrow or the house cleaned. Trusting my guests tomorrow will give me a pass. I will run to the Dollar General in the morning and pick up something to serve. Won’t be homemade but we will survive on store bought.

Today was supposed to have been a rest day but that didn’t happen. I am grateful I got the call today though as I could make the transport happen. I will rest another day.

All the way home I thought about my new friend. I keep asking myself what the hell are we doing to each other in this country? What are people so afraid of that when someone looks different than they do that fear becomes tangible and disappearing the person seems like the right thing to do? I am grateful I was able to offer a small bit of grace and mercy to him but how does he recover the 75 days of his life that were taken from him? How does his family recover from not having his financial support for 75 days? I am also grateful for the judge that did the right thing for this guy. I truly trust he doesn’t have to go through another round of this treatment in the future.

I will take some time and process all the emotions this transport brought up for me today and release them. I can’t change the system that is causing this to happen but I can step in when asked and offer some grace and mercy.

Grateful for the opportunity to be in service today, grateful for the concern and care of the Captain, and grateful this young man is finally on his way home.

This day had a wrench thrown in for kicks and giggles. I was in Emporia early this morning so stopped and got a sandwich on my way to doing taxes. When I got to the Senior Center, I used the restroom and discovered the bowl was significantly full of blood.

I stayed and did taxes and went to the bathroom every hour or so to see what was going on. Every time I went, the same thing would happen. Finally around 11:00 I decided to go get checked out. We only had three clients left and I really wasn’t needed.

I had a delightful nurse taking care of me today. She was young but efficient and attentive. The NP came in to see me. She seemed knowledgeable and competent too. The NP ordered blood tests and a CT scan to make sure I hadn’t torn my incision open.

The blood test happened rather quickly but the CT scan took a while before they could do it. Even though I no longer react to iodine contrast, I did years ago and they wanted to pre-medicate me and then you have to wait a bit before they do the scan.

The blood tests came back with a few quirks but nothing too alarming. My inflammatory markers were a bit high and I am a bit anemic but both could be related to surgery. Without a thyroid it can take longer to rebuild those numbers.

The CT scan cleared me from having blood in my abdomen and the incision site was all good. They did find I have a stone in my pancreas that will need some follow up. Seems like there is always something!

I got released around 2:30 and came home. The bleeding has mostly stopped. I was surprised no one actually examined where the bleeding was coming from.

I will have to call my family doctor tomorrow and see where I go from here. The radiologist recommended I repeat the scan in two months. I will also call the gastroenterologist and see if that is what she recommends too. Just what I needed – NOT!

Have a bit of a headache this afternoon. Probably from all the excitement of the day. My blood pressure was sky high again while I was in the ER. It was coming down during the stay. My pulse rate stayed above 100 the whole time I was there. They didn’t mention either of those things.

Nothing on my calendar tomorrow except for doing some cleaning for the meeting on Saturday. I can sleep in if possible and get some good rest. Last night I fell asleep in my chair around 6:00 and slept until 2:00 this morning. I went to bed and managed to find another hour or two here and there before I got up at 7:00. I am really tired tonight so hoping I can crash and burn tonight.

Hoping we have a good turnout for the meeting Saturday. I have only heard for a couple people that are coming but hope others decide to come too. It will be exciting to see what we can come up with to do together.

I’m ready for a couple of quiet days. Doing taxes three days in a row is too much! I’m grateful I usually only do two days a week with a day off in between them. I am so used to my quiet space that being out and about too much is jarring to my system.

I may go take a nap. I can barely keep my eyes open. I got cold in the ER and I haven’t warmed up yet. A nap might give me a more positive outlook on my whole life right now.

Grateful for a kind ER nurse, grateful for a competent NP today, and grateful all is well.

It has been a long day. I left the house to head for Emporia at 8:25 this morning and didn’t get home until 4:15. I met two other ladies at the Senior Center, help load up the car with supplies and then we headed to Lyndon for a day of doing taxes.

We did eight returns today. Had time to take a lunch break at a burger place. I should have ordered a burger instead of chicken tenders as the chicken was not very good. Oh well, at least I got to eat today.

Am doing some laundry tonight but hope for an early bedtime. I didn’t fall asleep until almost 4:00 this morning. Sure makes for a long night when that happens. I was so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open when I went to bed and then the longer I laid in bed, the more awake I became. Dang in anyways.

Tomorrow I have to be back in Emporia before 9:00 to do another tax shift. Three times in a row is too many! I like two days a week with a day off in between better. I do need to stop for a few things afterwards so hoping I’m not too tired or else I will have to drive back to town Friday.

No plans except for doing some cleaning on Friday. Saturday I am hosting a meeting. Luckily, I have no plans for Sunday or Monday and can take some well deserved rest days.

Have a bit of a headache this evening. The room we were in doing taxes all day was musty and I am betting there were some mold spores in the room. I am trusting that a good night’s sleep will help lots.

I got a donation for Love in Action in the mail today. I will stop by the bank on my way home tomorrow and deposit it. Always a good day when I get an unexpected donation.

Having one of those nights where I can’t keep a thought in my head long enough to act on it. I think I will go to bed and see if I can find sleep. I obviously am not going to get anything productive done tonight.

Grateful for the opportunity to be in service today, grateful for the ladies that traveled with me today, and grateful for clean laundry.

I was in Emporia a little before 9:00 this morning to do another tax shift. We had some problems with the printer for a bit but worked through that. I so enjoy visiting with the clients as I work on their taxes.

Met Jason for lunch afterwards. I hadn’t had a chance to catch up to him for a bit so it was a nice lunch and nice conversation.

Came home exhausted. I didn’t sleep well again last night. Sure didn’t want to get up when it was time to do so this morning.

Got a text from Ellexia around 3:45 telling me she had her last basketball game this season at 4:30 and wondered if I wanted to come watch her. Off I go back to Emporia. I wanted a chair nap but I bet I sleep better tonight since I skipped it.

Ellexia got to fly twice tonight so I am grateful I went in. Both of her parents had to work so they couldn’t be there. We swung by McDonald’s afterwards and she got her dinner and I took her home. Ellexia said she was going to eat and then take a shower and go to bed early. Sounds like what I am going to do tonight too.

Tomorrow I am meeting two other ladies and we are going to Lyndon to do taxes at the library there. I think we only have five or six people to do so it shouldn’t take long. I haven’t been here before so it will be a new experience. It will take about an hour to get there from Emporia so I will spend most of my day on the road. Wonder if we will stop and have lunch afterwards? Better pack a snack in case we don’t stop.

I do taxes again Thursday and then I will have a day off on Friday. Saturday I am hosting a meeting in the afternoon. I have to get some housecleaning done Friday to be ready for the meeting Saturday. Probably ought to bake some cookies too but I shall see if I get those done.

Two trips to Emporia today. Not my favorite thing to do but it was nice to support Ellexia. She appreciated me being there. I am hoping it is an early bedtime for me tonight and I get some sleep tonight.

Not going to watch the State of the Union address tonight. I have trouble listening to him. I’m not going to watch the alternate event either though. I do better when I tune part of the politics out. I will read about them tomorrow.

I should be off restrictions Thursday as that is my six week after surgery date. However since my last follow up appointment is not till March 9 the doctor told me I had to wait till then to be completely cleared. I often forget I had surgery though. It was a very easy surgery for me for the most part and I am grateful I had it done.

Grateful to see Ellexia do what she loves to do this afternoon, grateful I got to have lunch with Jason, and grateful I can go to bed early if I choose to do so.

I went to Emporia a little before noon. I stopped at Jacalito and had lunch and then drove on into Emporia. I went to Lyon County Bank and closed out the LLC account. That bank has more paperwork than any other bank I have ever seen. Nothing seems easy there. I don’t think I will use that bank again.

Went to Walmart and picked up three prescriptions that were ready. I had another one called in this morning but it wasn’t ready yet. The Doctor had sent a script for 90 days as I haven’t figured out the mail in part of my new prescription coverage. To my surprise, they filled the 90 day request and the good news is that all three were all at no cost. Still haven’t figured out how prescription coverage is free and they cover the cost of the drugs for free.

Came home after the stop at Walmart. I needed a few things but wasn’t in the mood to shop today. I have to go to town the next three days so will stop one of those days and pick up a few things I need and get the latest prescription.

Haven’t done anything since I have been back home. I don’t have a lot of things on my to-do list right now. It is a new pace for me to adjust to. I’m grateful I have taxes to do a couple days a week to keep me somewhat engaged with the world.

I probably ought to do some housecleaning before the meeting Saturday afternoon. I’m not sure how many are coming but I know a couple are for sure. I also need to think of a treat to make to serve. I have a free day Friday so can take care of all that then.

Need to find a caterer for the March 28 event. Not sure how many to plan for but will come up with a plan for the leftovers in case only a few show up. Hoping Elexa is a big draw!

Had to step away from the news again. The old white men are becoming more and more chaotic in their efforts to hold on to what was. It is almost funny to watch them, however, they are causing pain to so many. Wonder when I do things like that? It is easier to see in others than in myself.

I still sit and wonder where this chaotic mess is going and how will it end. Will the “sides” join or is there going to be a divide from know on? Wonder how many will do the timeline jump to a place where there is peace and love and goodwill towards all? Wonder what my role will be in bringing all this to becoming real? Is sitting in my own higher consciousness enough? Will it ever feel like enough? Thoughts I ponder on quiet days.

Grateful the bank account got closed, grateful the pharmacy filled the 90 day script, and grateful for a quiet afternoon at home.

This has been another quiet day at home. I did manage to get some laundry done and it is even folded and put away. Other than that, I haven’t done much today.

I may go into Emporia tomorrow and run some errands. I have a couple that need done and usually when I am done with taxes I am ready to come home. We’ll see how tomorrow goes and if I can go to town or not.

I am doing taxes three times this week, three days in a row. We are making a special trip to Lyndon to do taxes there on Wednesday. We shall see how that goes. I imagine it is the same as doing them at the Senior Citizens building in Emporia.

I sent a note to my doctor asking for a prescription for the lower dose of a drug he wants me to start alternating with the higher dose. When I attempted to cut the 10 mg tablet in two, I got one half that is usable but the other half dissolved into powder. I tried four of them and didn’t have good luck with any of them.

February is going by quickly. It helps time so faster when I have a couple things on my calendar each week. I will have to find a substitute for doing taxes when tax season is over. Wish I could find a nonprofit to volunteer with that could use my help and I could feel needed and useful. I have tried several before and haven’t found the right match yet.

I’m still working on the PayPal Charity button. When I entered my EIN it didn’t recognize it as a charity number and now needs more proof. Beginning to think it isn’t worth it. I will wait till someone can come help me do the next step or two. Man, this has been a big problem for me. Who knew something that seems so simple could turn into something so difficult.

Feeling a bit isolated again. I need to remember to put some fun things on my calendar more often. I get stuck in a rut and forget to do that. Balance is hard for me to find in many ways.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful the laundry basket is empty, and grateful we are missing the snow they are getting back east.

This has been a stay-at-home day. I took extra sleep aide last night and some prescription strength Tylenol and was able to get almost eight hours of sleep. I could get used to that really easy!

It was snowing great big flakes this morning. They are fun to watch. We had a light ground covering of snow. The sun came out before noon and it didn’t take long before all the snow was gone. That is my favorite type of snow.

I finalized the plans for the No Kings Rally I am hosting March 28. I decided to do a potluck lunch followed by resistance singing at 1:30. Not sure if I am going to do BBQ or Tacos. I asked the people that are coming to bring a side dish and I will provide the meat, table service and iced tea. I also asked them to bring a lawn chair.

I have requested to reserve a place as an inclement weather backup. I will find out Friday if I can proceed. If not, I will look for a different site. Hoping I won’t need it but I would like to have a place in my back pocket just in case.

My thinking behind this type of event is I know we need to build community. Hosting a meal helps do that. Singing resistance meets my need for a non-violent gathering that elevates as opposed to exchanging names back and forth. Trust others will find it something they can come and support.

It will be a challenge to decide how much BBQ or tacos to order. I will come up with a place I can give left overs if the crowd is less than I order for.

I made no bake cookies today. I have been craving them for over a week and got them made today. I did have a drop in my blood pressure again while I was making them. Sure wish I could figure out what causes that.

The doctor ordered 90 days of each of my prescriptions directly from Walmart. I haven’t figured out who my mail order pharmacy is since I switched prescription plans the first of the year. I was surprised that the pharmacy was able to fill for 90 days and none of them cost me anything. I will pick them up Tuesday when I am in town doing taxes. I also need to stop by a bank and close out my Ltd account.

No plans for tomorrow. I didn’t get any cleaning done today as I made cookies instead. Maybe tomorrow is the day I will get some done. Somehow it waits for me.

My son gave me the name of an accountant that might be able to help me with the Love in Action paperwork I have to file. I called and left a message so hoping I hear back Monday. I haven’t heard back from the one I called in Council Grove last week. I read the paperwork I received from the IRS with the EIN number and it states I have to use Form 1120 which is a corporate form. Not sure what is up with that but I will take it to an accountant and find out what I need to do.

I have a free day on Monday too. I have taxes Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. I am free on Friday and then am hosting a meeting at my house on Saturday. It will be another busy week.

I have been sitting with what to do on the 28th for the No Kings Rally day for several weeks. This morning I woke up and knew what I wanted to do. I like when things happen like that. I have learned if the answers don’t come easily to sit and wait and then the answers show up. Wish I had known to do that years ago. I used to force things and sometimes that would work and sometimes not. This way is much less stressful and is much easier.

Grateful the snow was light and beautiful and then gone, grateful I have the rough plans for the Rally in place, and grateful for freshly made no bake cookies.

It was an interesting night at the sleep clinic. Not sure it is named appropriately as sleep was not really on the agenda!

The technician put about 25 wires on my head, chest, and legs. It took about 30 minutes to get all wired up. After she was done she went in her room and using the intercom speaker led me through some exercises of sort. Had to move my eyes back and forth, tap my feet, etc.

We had a nice conversation while she was wiring me up. She did a nice job whenever she interacted with me.

Then she said I could go to sleep. If only! I think it took over four hours for me to fall asleep. It was hard to get comfortable with all the wires that I kept getting caught in when I turned over. The room was hot and the worse part was a flashing light on some piece of equipment on the floor that sent a strobe like light on the walls and ceiling.

In the middle of the night I had to go to the bathroom and I called for the lady to come in and she kinda unhooked me so I could make it to the bathroom. Afterwards she had to reattach about eight wires that had come loose.

I finally fell asleep probably around 4:00 and then she woke me up at 6:00 and said the study was over. It took her about 15 minutes to completely unhook everything. I was then able to get dressed and come home. I should get results in 5 – 10 business days.

As soon as I got home I washed my hair. I had lots of glue spots on my head and patches to peel off on my body.

I never did feel like I was awake all day. I took a short nap in my chair today and feel a bit more awake this evening. It has been a long day though.

Mid morning I drove back into Emporia and picked up my income taxes. It was worth the drive in as I am getting a nice refund from the Feds and I owe the state a bit. I signed the forms so they could e-File on my behalf today. I should get the refund within two weeks. The refund was big enough to pay for having my taxes completed and to set aside money for the estimated taxes I have to pay for this year. It hurts to pay the accountant’s huge fee since I do taxes for others for free. But mine were too complicated for me to do. Hoping next year I can do them myself as I won’t have any rentals.

I paid plenty of taxes this year. Sure wish I could tell the government how I want them spent. It hurts my heart to know that part of the taxes I am paying is paying for the ICE budget.

Haven’t done much today. Have been a bit cranky and tired. I look forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight.

I did get on the Secretary of State website and dissolved the Ltd I used to do the rentals. Next time I go to Emporia I need to stop at the bank that has the Ltd bank account and close it out. Then I think I am done with rentals.

Nothing planned for tomorrow or Sunday. I have a few things I want to get done if the mood strikes. Hoping I can sleep tonight and have more energy tomorrow. I really need to do some housecleaning but somehow it seems to wait for me. It has reached the point where I need to get serious and get it done.

Next week I am doing taxes three days in a row. Luckily I have Monday off so I will get three more days at home. The week goes by quickly when I stay busy like that.

Hard to keep up with the news today. There are so many stories going on it is hard to keep them all in my brain. I finally turned it all off and had to spend some time grounding. It amazes me how peoples till support what it happening. I do know love will win and I understand that I don’t know how or when! I do think love wins when ever we choose joy over fear, love over hate, and stay above neutral and give more than we take.

Grateful the sleep study is complete, grateful for the sleep I will get tonight, and grateful my taxes have been filed and I get some funds back.

I am at the hospital at the sleep clinic. I have about an hour before they come in and hook me up to their equipment. Fingers crossed I will be able to sleep tonight.

I was in Emporia at 8:45 this morning. We had a full schedule and were short one volunteer today. Had trouble logging on to start the day but after about 15 minutes that got resolved and we were able to get to work.

I had to leave at 10:30 for my doctor’s appointment. I got checked in at 10:45 and got called back almost immediately. I was out of there at 11:15. I am going to reduce one of my two blood pressure medications as my blood pressure has been going too low. Struggling to maintain balance! I can alternate dosage as needed. I have a cardiologist appointment in May so hoping he will have some answers as to why my heart rate is still too fast. The fast heart rate started all of a sudden the first part of August and has never totally resolved. They can’t find what caused it so they aren’t sure what to do about it. Wonder if I need a heart specialist of some sort to think of other options?

Went back to taxes and helped them finish up. Got out of there at 12:45 which is not too bad considering we were short a volunteer today.

Stopped at the Grand to have lunch and then went home. I was hoping the owner would be there as I need to talk to her about something but she was gone today. I need to remember to call her.

Didn’t do much this afternoon. I am tired so hoping I can sleep tonight. I purposely didn’t take a nap so the odds will be in my favor that I can sleep tonight.

I got a call from my accountant that my taxes are done. Wow! This is the fastest she has ever turned them around. Not sure what the results are but I will pick them up tomorrow and find out. The Doctor called in some prescriptions for me and those are to be ready in the morning too. Not sure when I will be leaving the sleep clinic. If it is early, I may have to make another trip to town tomorrow.

No plans for the weekend. Next week I do taxes Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so that will feel busy. I am also hosting a meeting at my house Saturday afternoon.

There is a camera in my room all night. How fun it must be to sit at a desk and watch the feed from the wires they hook me up to and listen to people snore. There is no call light and they have to unhook me to allow me to go to the bathroom. I am to holler if I need their assistance so I can get up. May be an entertaining night! If it is clear that I have sleep apnea she will come in and hook me up to a machine during the night.

Looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. This week went by quickly and it is time for some isolation time again. I sure do better when I get three of four quiet days a week.

Grateful for a quick doctor’s appointment so I could get back to help them finish up taxes for the day, grateful for sleep clinics and hopeful for some solutions to my poor sleep, and grateful my tax package is ready to be picked up.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I slept most of the night! It was way past time for me to crash and sleep. Geez, I wonder what life would be like if I could sleep every night.

Unfortunately, I got nothing accomplished today. I could not motivate myself to do the things I wanted to do today. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day and I must have needed lots of quiet, boring space today to prepare for it.

I have to be in Emporia by 9:00 in the morning to do taxes. I will have to leave at 10:30 so I can be at my doctor’s appointment by 10:45. When I get done with my doctor’s appointment, I will go back and help them finish up taxes.

I go back to Emporia in the evening as I have to be at the hospital by 7:15 to check in for my overnight sleep clinic visit. The registrar called me today to pre-register me. She made a couple of mistakes while talking to me so hoping she managed to do it correctly.

I have no plans for the weekend. I will need to go to the bank and deposit a check and take care of some details for a gathering I am holding on the 28th. It is to get cold again this weekend and almost feel like a taste of winter but is to warm back up again next week. A friend wrote that she had to pull a tick off of herself today after being in the timber. Way too early for them to be out. I don’t think we had enough cold to knock them down this year.

There has been a change of some sorts in the energy. I have been slowly adjusting to it all day. Not sure I can describe the new energy other than it feels like a pull to let go of all that doesn’t serve and to allow the true essence of who I am to break through. No pretense, no hiding behind anything, and absolute authenticity is required. Maybe it will all make sense as time goes on.

Grateful for a long night of sleep, grateful for a day of rest and quiet, and grateful I might find some answers at the sleep clinic tomorrow night.

I was in Emporia by 8:45 this morning. I got Kathy’s tax return completed and another co-worker checked and printed it for me. Today was the easiest day yet. All the returns were simple and people came in early to do the paperwork. I was out of there by 11:45 which is the earliest this season.

I was going to meet Jason for lunch but he had a last minute scheduling change and wasn’t going to be free until 1:00. I didn’t want to wait in town that long so came home and had lunch at home.

My accountant sent me an email at 6:15 this morning asking for some information for my tax return. I didn’t see it until I was up and going at 7:30. She must already be working long hours early in the tax season.

I got the PayPal account confirmed and it is operational …. Except now I have to figure out how to attach the PayPal button to my Facebook site. I tried it once and it didn’t work. I am really tired for some reason today and decided to try it again tomorrow when I am not so tired.

I didn’t make it to the bank to deposit a donation check. I’ll go down tomorrow and get it done.

It has been windy and cloudy today. The air is starting to feel a bit heavy with smoke. There are some huge wildfires on the Kansas and Oklahoma border. Several highways had to close today due to smoke and the high wind. There was a 30 car pile up in Colorado. Not my favorite type of day.

I get to stay home tomorrow except for a quick trip downtown to the bank. I have some thank you notes to write and some notes to send to some friends.

Thursday will be a two trip to town busy day. I have taxes at 9:00 and then a doctor’s appointment at 10:45. Back to taxes to finish up the day. I will get to come home and then I go back to Emporia to be at the sleep clinic at 7:15. Good thing I have Friday and the weekend free.

I heard about ICE activity in Lawrence today. I can’t find out if it was targeted pick-ups or the agents were trolling. They are targeting blue cities. Not sure it makes sense what they are doing but nothing about what they are doing makes sense.

Feeling a bit out of sorts tonight. I didn’t sleep well again and I’m tired. I sure hope the sleep study helps me find some answers as to why sleep is so hard for me and why I rarely feel rested after sleeping.

Grateful taxes were easy today, grateful I got one step closer to getting PayPal activated, and grateful it is almost bed time.

This has been a mostly quiet stay at home day. I did go out to lunch and then made a quick stop at Dollar General to get a loaf of bread.

Had a conversation with the owner of the place I had lunch. He may be at high risk of having some of his employees disappear due to his location. I shared with him that there are many in the community that are willing to do what we can to document a raid if it were to happen. I left him some cards to share with his employees so they can let me know if something happens. Chase County is a red county and we have been told that red counties are not on the hit list but not sure I trust anything the government has to say these days.

Did some work on another project I am working on. Sent out an invitation to some people to come over so we can discuss plans for the project. Not sure any will come but all I can do is invite and see what happens.

Called an accountant in Council Grove a friend recommended to see if she can do the taxes for Love in Action for 2025. I think I can do them if she can’t but I would like professional help at least this first year. I spoke to her receptionist and they are to get back to me later this week and let me know if she is accepting new clients.

Found out today the person I invited to lead a drumming circle on March 28 can’t come. Anyone know someone that has access to lots of drums and could lead a drumming circle on the 28th? We can switch to just singing if needed.

I still need to nail down a time for the rally so I can start doing the publicity of the event. Never know how many will attend but it is nice to have a local option for those that struggle to do big crowds in Topeka.

I need to order some business cards for Love in Action. They would have come in handy today. I used the cards I have for my Death Doula project today but those have Kathy’s info on them too and I need some that just have my information. I don’t want to drag Kathy into all of this.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia before 9:00 in the morning for another tax shift. Nothing planned for Wednesday. Thursday I will be back in Emporia for another tax shift and then a doctor’s appointment at 10:45. Thursday night is my night at the sleep clinic. So far the weekend is free and clear.

Hoping the two small deposits hit my bank tomorrow so I can get the PayPal charity donation button up and going. It has taken me over two months to get that little project done. I kept running into little snags that have taken a long time to fix. Not going to hold my breath that it will be completed though.

There is a solar eclipse happing tomorrow night although we won’t be able to see it from here. We are also entering the year of the Fire Horse. I keep reading about how the collective energy is changing to one of truth and that those that can’t be truthful will be left behind. Some describe it as a timeline shift with those that are living an authentic life will be on one timeline and those that can’t face reality and truth will be on another. Calgon, take me away! Trust it will be that easy!

Grateful to make some progress on some projects I am working on, grateful for another spring-like day, and grateful here in Chase County we take care of our neighbors.

I am still in my pajamas. Had no plan to go anywhere so didn’t take the time to get changed.

I haven’t done a thing today except for cleaning up my baking cookie mess from last night. It was nice to take a quiet day and rest and recharge. I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow either. Maybe I will make this resting thing a three in a row type of thing.

I didn’t manage to work on the rally plans for the end of March. Maybe tomorrow I will do so. I am a good procrastinator and it is six weeks away so it feels like I have lots of time to work up this project.

Tuesday and Thursday I do taxes again. Thursday will be a short day of doing taxes though as I have a doctor’s appointment at 11:00 so will have to leave early. Thursday night I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 for a stay overnight in the sleep clinic. Maybe I will find out why I rarely wake up feeling rested.

I need to go to the bank to make a deposit but they are closed tomorrow. Hoping Tuesday I will get the two little deposits so I can finally get the PayPal Charity account open for Love in Action. I need to call the accountant I was referred to that works in Council Grove and see if she can do the taxes for Love in Action for 2025. I want to have a professional do them at least the first time so I don’t miss something.

I have passed the four week mark after surgery. I should only have less than two weeks to go before I can resume normal activity but my appointment for release isn’t until March 9. The doctor told me not to resume normal activity until I see him one more time. Dang it anyways. That adds almost two more weeks till my release.

My brain has been quiet today which I appreciate. The last couple days it was in overdrive and the quiet almost felt scary today until I realized what was happening.

I keep reading about the massive change that is coming over the next couple of weeks. I trust it will be one that is positive. We are all overdue for good news and positive change. I think most of us are exhausted and sometimes it feels like things will never get better. I still feel things have already changed and what we are seeing is the last of the noise from those holding on for dear life.

Grateful for another quiet day at home, grateful for a quiet brain today, and grateful good news is coming.

Rainy day Saturday. I have heard reports that Cottonwood Falls received at least 2 1/2 inches of rain last night and today. I have small lakes in my yard. I’m grateful it all came as rain and not snow.

I popped out of the house to get the mail today but other than that have stayed inside. It was worth walking to the mailbox as I received a donation for Love in Action. Those trips to the mailbox are always a good thing.

I baked a batch of my favorite oatmeal cookies today. For some reason I have been craving them and decided today was a good day to bake cookies. I don’t think I have baked any cookies since I did Christmas cookies two months ago.

Had another negative response to a Facebook post I put up about Love in Action. This one was upset that I described the conditions at Chase County Detention Center as humane. She then said “the one thing I’ve learned that is consistent: The opposition rarely tells the truth.” Hmmm…. Wonder if she read my complete post. I responded I was willing to have a respectful discussion with her and invited her to share her ideas on how to care for the Detainees at the Center. I will be surprised if she responds.

It was another check with myself to remember that not all people are on the same timeline I am on and that conversation with those on a different timeline is almost impossible. I truly do understand people’s frustration and anger about what is happening but throwing anger at people that are trying to make a difference doesn’t work. When we act out of our fear and anger it doesn’t make for a productive conversation.

No plans for the next two days. I am out of bread so will need to go to Dollar General tomorrow and get a loaf. Other than that I plan to stay home for two more days and recharge and rest. I was tired after baking cookies. Dang, I keep forgetting I had surgery four weeks ago and am still recovering.

I got an answer to my question about the taxes I need to file for Love in Action. I have the name of an accountant in Council Grove that I am going to call Monday and see if she will do the taxes for me. I would feel better knowing that a professional did them, at least for this year. They don’t look too complicated but sometimes what you don’t know can bite you in the ass.

My personal accountant sent another email today with a question about my taxes. She did that earlier this week too. Good sign that she is working on them. Maybe I will get them back early this year. Last year I didn’t get them until after the first of April.

This weather doesn’t make sense. We are getting our spring rain in February. 60 and 70 degree days usually don’t happen during February either. Sure makes me wonder what our summer will be like.

Sitting and holding both sides of the spectrum today. Wonderful, positive comments and donations about Love in Action and also true that there are those that can’t accept what we are doing and are verbal about it. Range is something I play with and it is interesting to sit and hold both sides at the same time. It is also true that other people’s opinions are their opinions to own and not mine. My job is to stay focused on my task and not to allow either side to change what I feel is my purpose.

Grateful for the spring rain, grateful for homemade oatmeal cookies, and grateful I got an answer to my Love in Action tax question.

I stayed home today. Slept in a little bit which was nice. Got a little paperwork done but didn’t do much else today.

I went to my local bank and deposited a check for Love In Action. While there I had them help me with the bank numbers so I can finalize the PayPal Charity Donation account. Man I have struggled with that. Hoping this will be the final thing that needs to happen so I can start using that account. The bank told me they didn’t refuse the deposits so we aren’t sure what the problem was unless I entered the banking numbers in wrong and that is possible I suppose. I was able to do it to confirm the VENMO account so not sure why PayPal Charity would have been any different. Who knows!

Kathy and I went to Emporia a little before 4:00 so we could go watch Ellexia cheer. She didn’t get to fly today but it was fun to watch her cheer. We mistakenly sat in the visitor’s section so we were in enemy territory during the game. We could have moved but I had a good view of Ellexia so we stayed put. There wasn’t a large crowd so it really didn’t make much difference. I didn’t pay too much attention to the game but the boys did win.

Ellexia and Michelle joined Kathy and I at Braum’s for dinner after the game. It was nice to get to visit with them for a bit. Ellexia had somewhere she needed to be at 7:00 so we didn’t linger after we ate.

It is to rain this evening and tomorrow. I could tell Strong City had gotten some rain already. Emporia had just gotten sprinkles so far. We could use some rain and I am grateful it is coming as rain and not snow. It is to be in the 70’s again next week.

Nothing on my calendar for the next three days. I really need to get some cleaning done. I’ll have to figure out a way to do it without doing much bending or pushing of things. When there is a will, there is a way, right?

Next week I have taxes on Tuesday and Thursday. Thursday I also have a doctor’s appointment and then I am spending the night at the sleep clinic at the hospital. Not sure what that will be like and if I will spend the whole night at the hospital. Guess I will find out when I find out that evening.

I am part of a group on Signal. There was ICE activity in Olathe today so that group was very active. Not sure I am going to stay in the group as most of what they talk about doesn’t pertain to me. I don’t like drama and chaos and that is what it felt like today. Or maybe panic would be a more apt description. I am trusting that they will settle down and the chatter will be more helpful and informative as they get used to this.

The world energy sure has been chaotic lately. Things are happening so fast that one can’t keep up with everything. I still have a feeling that the next couple of months are going to be unusually explosive and things are coming to a head in many ways. It is so important to remain steady and find ways to experience moments of calm. One can easily get pulled into the anger and chaos right now. Steady, calm and grounding energy are so very needed right now.

Grateful to see Ellexia cheer tonight, grateful to see Michelle tonight, and grateful I may be one step closer to having a Charity PayPal donation account.

I was at the Senior Center before 9:00 to do another tax shift. We stayed fairly busy most of the day. What an honor it is to get to meet folks and help them out a bit. The group I work with is fun and we enjoy helping each other out.

I stopped at Bobby D’s for lunch and then came home. I am tired this afternoon as I didn’t sleep well again last night.

Yesterday evening I had a 1 1/2 hour phone conversation with a dear friend. I hadn’t spoken to her for a long time and it was great to catch up with her. It was a good night for me to have someone to vent to as I have had a rough couple days with Love in Action. Not the project itself but with others that think I should be doing things differently. Thanks for listening Kathy!

So many people are so angry right now at the world’s situation that they seem to be going after anyone and everyone. I have had several come after me this week for the work I am doing in supporting the Detention Center. I understand their anger but struggle when I become the dumping ground for their anger.

I understand that in a perfect world we would not need immigration detention centers. I also understand that in the world we live now, we have them. I also understand that if someone has to be sent to a detention center, I would prefer they come to Chase County Detention Center that is privately run by the County as opposed to being sent to a Core Civic Center that is being run as a for profit corporation.

I have to keep reminding myself that others reactions and actions are not my responsibility. But I am only human and am tired of getting dumped on. I do my best to share what I have learned with those that have different facts than I do. I will not, however, allow any one to treat me with disrespect. I have, and will continue to block those that continually come after me.

The good news of the day is I received a check for $100 from a sweet lady in Maryland. She has been supporting Love in Action for several months and consistently sends a check. She is not on Facebook so each month I send her my latest posts with her thank you note. People like that make this project worth it and make up for the very few that think I should shut this project down and accuse me of sleeping with the enemy.

After about 10 zillions tries Kathy and I managed to get her address changed with Social Security. The computer gremlins followed me home from taxes and tried their best to make it impossible for Kathy to get logged in to accomplish that task. Man, I really really really dislike passwords and security codes, etc. There has got to be an easier solution. I think I could rob a bank easier than I can get into some sites.

I got a notice from PayPal that my bank refused the small deposits PayPal sends to confirm the correct bank information. I will have to go to my bank tomorrow and see why they did that. They accepted them from VENMO when I linked my account to the Love in Action account. Things that make me go WTF!

Tomorrow I am going to a basketball game at the High School at 4:30 to watch Ellexia cheer. I haven’t made it to a basketball game yet this year to watch her and I have a free day tomorrow.

No plans for the weekend. I don’t have anything else after the basketball game tomorrow on my schedule until I do taxes next Tuesday. It will be good to have three empty space days.

I do want to work on plans for the March 28 rally this weekend. I want to invite some other local musicians to participate and need to give some thought as to who I might invite and what it will all look like. I need to nail down a space and time so I can start the publicity of the event. Wouldn’t it be fun to have lots of people gather on a beautiful spring day and sing and drum together for joyful resistance and world peace?

I sure never thought when I started Love in Action the places it would take me. Maybe it is a good thing I didn’t know or I might not have had the courage to start it.

Grateful week two of doing taxes this season is in the bag, grateful for long conversations with dear friends, and grateful for all the possibilities that the rally March 28 may bring.

I ended up driving to Council Grove around noon today. The article that I was interviewed for last week was in the Council Grove Republican paper today. I stopped and had lunch at Hay’s House and then went to the newspaper office to get the paper. It is a very small newspaper. Front and back of two pages! At least they still publish a paper in print.

Came home and took a chair nap. I have not been sleeping well again and needed to top off a bit today. Why do chair naps feel different than laying in the bed for a nap? Have never figured that one out!

A dear friend is going to call me this evening. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her for several years so it will be a treat to visit with her. Her timing is impeccable. A deep heart to heart conversation is just what I need tonight.

I had a person that had friended me several months ago. She found me through my work with Love in Action. Unfortunately, she is one that has trouble accepting the work I am doing with the Center and thinks I am sleeping with the enemy. We have gone back and forth several times and this time I finally decided to block her. I don’t need her anger and fear on my page. She had sent me an article last night more or less telling me that I can not trust the Captain of the Detention Center as they are all liars.

I understand her passion and her anger. However, when you stay in that state and dump on others without rational thought, I don’t think you accomplish what you are wanting to accomplish. I decided I was worthy of more respect than that and didn’t want to engage with her further.

This current political climate has many of us charged. I think it is our challenge to process those strong emotions and work through them. Only when we can be on the other side of them can we think logically and do meaningful next steps. Staying stuck in anger makes up become part of the problem.

I also think each of us has to choose their own path as to what our action steps will be. Some can handle the long-term focus and help change policy. Some of us need short-term results and choose other projects to focus on. Both sides of it are needed and both sides need to respect the choices others are making.

Tomorrow I will be in Emporia before 9:00 to do another tax session. I don’t think I have any errands to run afterwards. I might stop for lunch in town but otherwise I will come home. Friday I am going to watch Ellexia cheer at a basketball game at the high school that starts at 4:30. I might talk Ellexia into going out for dinner afterwards although she might stay for the next game.

No plans for the weekend. Am starting to feel a bit restless at home. I still can’t do much and I sit in my chair and see things I would like to take care of. Funny how dirt sits and waits for you! I want to send some people information about the singing and drumming for resistance event I am planning for March 28. Maybe I can get that taken care of this weekend.

Still waiting on PayPal to send the two small deposits to my bank so I can confirm they have the right bank account. Hoping after close of business today the amounts will show in my account so I can finally get the Charity Donation account finalized. Nicole helped me get past the picture thing that had me stopped for a bit. Not sure why I struggle with this type of thing. It seems like it should be simple but I usually don’t find that to be true.

I keep forgetting to mention my no spend game that I play with myself every year. Still rolling with it this year. I almost miss the delivery guy that used to bring my Amazon packages. I haven’t seen him for almost two months! I caught myself looking for something the other day and had to ask myself do you really need this? The answer was no and I stepped away. Wonder how long this will go on for this year?

It helps that part of my quiet resistance protest is to step away from supporting big businesses as much as possible. I still buy my groceries from Walmart but that is almost out of necessity in Emporia. We don’t have lots of choices and even with groceries I have cut way back as to what I am buying. When I eat out I try to eat at locally owned businesses and not support the big business companies.

My world feels small today. There is so much chaos and people hurting from wha is happening. My heart hurts and my impulse is to pull in and isolate. I have to find ways to keep myself regulated and not go out into the world below neutral. Blocking that lady will help me do that. I just can’t tolerate people that spread fear and hate right now.

Grateful for the block button and that I know how to use it, grateful for good friends that schedule calls with me, and grateful for chair naps that refresh my tired soul.

I was in bed last night by 8:00. I didn’t even get undressed and put my pajamas on. I didn’t wake up until around 3:00 this morning. I dozed off and on until I had to get up at 7:30 this morning.

I was at the Senior Center at 8:45 to do a tax shift. I think the gremlins were in my computer today. Twice weird things happened and I still don’t understand how. It was a busy morning and time went fast. I managed to get my brother’s final tax return completed.

After I was done with my tax shift I went out for lunch. Then I stopped and picked up my prescription and a few groceries. Filled the car up with gas and came home.

Worked on the Love in Action Facebook page this afternoon. I needed to get something off my chest so wrote a post about why I am doing this project. Not sure it will stop the naysayers but I put it out there. Also posted a post about the gym equipment. Trusting the funds will come in so we can complete that project in the next couple of months.

Tomorrow is an empty space day! I need that. I’m still tired from my trip to KC yesterday. I hope to get to stay home all day. The doctor did remind me yesterday that I am not released to go back to regular activities. I have some housecleaning that needs done but it may have to wait – oh darn!

Thursday I do taxes again and then on Friday I am going to a basketball game in Emporia to watch Ellexia cheer. Thankfully I don’t have any plans for the weekend.

My pending and to do lists are almost empty right now. It has been a long time since that has happened. I am grateful I have taxes to prepare to keep me busy for a bit. It feels good to be caught up with things and projects. I am careful these days about what I commit to. I do have the Singing and Drumming in Resistance Rally coming up the end of March but that feels a long ways off.

If anyone needs their taxes done, I am free this weekend. Call me or come by and we can get them done for you. No charge!

Feeling a bit scattered this evening. Last week was a hard re-entry to the world for me after taking two weeks in isolation. I’m grateful this week isn’t quite so busy. It is so hard for me to find balance sometimes. I feel like my rhythm is off so will need to do more meditation and allow myself to offload some hard feelings.

Grateful for a stay at home day tomorrow, grateful for some empty space, and grateful for this spring-like weather.

I didn’t sleep well last night. Had trouble falling asleep and then kept waking up. Makes for a long night when that happens and I knew I had a busy day today. Sometimes when you want sleep, it is impossible to find.

I left for KC at 8:30 this morning. I stopped in Emporia to get something to eat and then headed for Costco. Traffic was light all the way.

When I got to Costco I went to the service desk and asked for some assistance to get four cases of water. I am still under doctor’s orders not to lift over 10 pounds. They called someone and told me to go to where the water is and someone would meet me there. I waited for over ten minutes and no one showed up.

I did the rest of my shopping and checked out. I checked up front to make sure someone hadn’t brought the water up to the registers. I stopped on my way out and told them no one showed up. They didn’t seem too concerned about it. Dang it anyways.

I then went to the Tavern restaurant in Mission Hills. Nicole came and met me and we had lunch. Service and food were both good.

I had gotten a new screen protector thingy for my iPhone and I brought it and had Nicole put it on my phone for me. I have been struggling to set up a charity PayPal account. They needed a picture of me and I couldn’t use the phone and look where I needed to look so they could accept the photo. Nicole helped me complete that task. Now I just have to report the two little deposits they are making into the account and then I think I will have it set up.

Felt good to get those two things taken care of. They both seemed simple but things aren’t always as simple as I think they should be.

Went over to my surgeon’s office after lunch. I was only two minutes away from his office. I went in early and got checked in and went up to his office expecting to have to sit for a bit. To my surprise I got called back at 12:45 for my 1:00 appointment. The nurse was efficient and did her part with me quickly. Didn’t take the doctor long to come in and examine me. He left and I got dressed. He came back and talked to me about a minute and I was done. I was out of there before 1:00.

I am still on restrictions until I go back for my final appointment March 9. I am to restrict how much I bend, the less the better, and I still am not to lift over 10 – 15 pounds. No vacuuming, etc. He said there are still some internal stitches that need to heal.

He put me on vaginal estrogen. He has come to believe every woman that is either in menopause or post menopausal should be on it. My Endocrinologist is a big fan of it too. He recommends I stay on it for the rest of my life. He said it will help hold things in place and prevent UTI’s. Makes me wonder if I have been prescribed that years ago if I wouldn’t have needed surgery? Things that make me go WTF!

Came home after I was done with the doctor. Traffic was a bit heavier coming home but I didn’t get slowed down too often. Sure was tired when I came home.

Other than bringing in the stuff I bought at Costco I haven’t done anything this afternoon. I was afraid if I took a nap I wouldn’t sleep again tonight and I have to do taxes in the morning. I am hoping it will be an early bedtime for me tonight.

My car thermometer said it reached 80 today. The middle of February and the temperature is 80! Hard to believe! Surely we haven’t seen the last of old man winter. It is to cool down a bit the rest of the week and only be in the mid 50’s and lower 60’s. Those are unseasonably warm temperatures. At least at this point if winter does return, it won’t last long.

I have to be in Emporia by 9:00 in the morning for my tax shift. I will need to stop and pick up my new prescription when I am done doing taxes. I never did get groceries last week so hoping I won’t be too tired and will be able to get some tomorrow. It is getting to be slim pickings around here.

I am starting to find I have no emotional trigger when I read/hear something from those that I struggle to find common ground with. Instead I feel a wave of compassion for them. The timeline gap appears to be widening for me. The need for me to defend my position still rises but then I remember they can’t hear what I have to say so why expend your energy.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful to get to have lunch with Nicole, and grateful for the good report from the doctor.

Another quiet day at home. I so enjoy these days at home. I think I could become a hermit rather easily.

Someone donated $500 to Love in Action today. Made my day! I had a lot of comments on my post about my tour of the detention center and the big request for funds for exercise equipment. I wasn’t sure we would proceed with that project but thinking now we will. A couple other people made some generous donations also.

I watched the Super Bowl halftime. I am not current on pop music so not sure I got the message of the show. Kathy and I both decided we are old! Kathy has had the game on but I turned it off. I needed some quiet for a bit before I go to bed.

Tomorrow I am going to KC in the morning. I think I will go to Costco first and then meet up with Nicole. After lunch with Nicole I will go to my surgeon’s office and then come home. If I wait to go to Costco after my appointment I doubt that I could make myself go.

I need to remember to take a cooler as I want to get some chicken. It is warm enough that it won’t stay cold if I leave it in the car for a couple of hours. Hard to think I need a cooler in February but that is where we are right now.

Tuesday and Thursday I do taxes again. I will be glad to have Wednesday and Friday free this week.

I think I have decided what I want to do for the No Kings Rally March 28. I invited Elexa Dawson to come lead songs of resistance and Mindy Graham to lead a drum circle. I have run out of words to express how I feel about what is happening in the USA these days. Singing and drumming seems to be a more appropriate way to express what I am feeling. I still have lots of details to iron out but that is Plan A. A friend has offered the use of her property for it. I might reserve the community building as a back up in case of inclement weather. Lots of details to figure out but this feels like what I want to make happen.

Feeling much more rested after two days at home. It will be good to see Nicole tomorrow and check in with my surgeon. With all the chaos in the world these days I need more alone time than ever to keep myself regulated and to be able to stay above neutral when I go out into the world.

Grateful for another day at home, grateful for the idea of resistance singing and drumming for the No Kings Rally and grateful for the generous donations to Love in Action today.

It has been a quiet, stay-at-home day. It has been a treat to stay home all day and have a quiet day.

I posted on Love in Action telling people about my tour of the center and the big ask from the Detention Center for the piece of exercise equipment. It has kept me busy answering questions and clarifying people’s misunderstanding about the Center.

People are so angry right now that they struggle to step out of it. I understand that and also understand the need to step out of it. Not sure where this will all go and if there will be any support for it or not. I didn’t commit to the center one way or the other so if this doesn’t hit donors right, we won’t talk about it again.

It is interesting that most of the people responding have not been big donors and some haven’t donated at all. I find that interesting too.

All I can do is stay curious at people’s reaction and not let their reaction bother me. I will keep answering questions and attempting to correct their misunderstandings with facts.

No plans for tomorrow except another day of rest. Monday I go to KC and Tuesday and Thursday I do taxes. It will be another busy week as all the weeks will be until the end of tax season.

Looking forward to the trip to KC Monday. I will enjoy having lunch with Nicole and a stop at Costco. I’m hoping the doctor will dismiss me and lift my limitations but it will be OK if I have to continue for another two weeks from Thursday with restrictions.

Sitting and reminding myself that others people’s reaction is not my responsibility. I haven’t always been able to do that so I will take it as a sign of progress that every time I read a comment today I told myself that’s on them.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for life lesson’s, and grateful I get another rest day tomorrow.

I went to the Detention Center at 11:00 this morning and had a long conversation with the Captain. We talked about a range of items and I got a better understanding of how the Detention Center works and how the Captain manages it. I will write more later about it. I need to sit with some of it and decide what to do with the new information.

After my conversation with the Captain, the Sergeant that runs the card and stamp program for Love In Action took me on a tour of the facility. It was interesting to see the behind the scenes view of the Detention Center. I didn’t go in any of the pods where the detainees spend their time but I was able to look in the windows to see them. I did meet two of the women that were in the laundry room working.

Kathy and I hosted a happy hour this afternoon. Three of our friends came over and we enjoyed visiting with them.

After they left I laid down for a short bit. I never felt like I woke up this morning and needed a short nap to get me through the rest of the day.

My accountant sent an email with a question on my return. That is a good sign as it means she has started looking at them at least. Maybe she will get to them this year before she starts all the corporate returns she has to do which have an earlier due date than personal returns do.

No plans this weekend. It will be good to have two stay-at-home days. Feels like a long time since I have had that option. This has felt like a busy, long week. Hard to think I spent two weeks straight at home prior to this week.

I am looking forward to going to KC Monday. The best part is I will get to have lunch with Nicole before my surgeon’s appointment at 1:00. I hope to make a Costco stop since I will be close to one. Tuesday and Thursday I do taxes again. Friday afternoon I am going to a basketball game to watch Ellexia cheer.

Still thinking about the next No Kings rally scheduled for March 28. I want to do an event of some sort but still not sure what. I am tossing around a couple of ideas. Another time when I have to sit with not knowing for a bit until the right idea comes to me.

Seems I am sitting with several situations that have hit a speed bump. Not my favorite place to be but one I am getting more comfortable with. Maybe that is why they are there for me. There truly is very little in this life that you can sit on solid ground. Most everything changes and the more comfortable one can be with change the easier life becomes.

Grateful for the time with the Captain today, grateful for the tour of the Detention Center, and grateful I can sit with the in-between.

I was in Emporia by 9:00 this morning to do taxes. We had another busy day with a few hiccups but we all worked through them. I so enjoy visiting with the clients as I enter their data. They are all so appreciative. We have a fun group of preparers this year which makes it even more fun.

Our schedule for February is already full and we are filling up fast for March already. If you want your taxes done for free, call the Emporia Senior Center Monday through Thursday morning and get an appointment. If you can’t come during the daytime, call me and we can work something out.

I dropped off my personal tax package at my accountant’s office and then I went through the car wash and filled my car up with gas before I left Emporia. I stopped at the Grand downtown CWF and had lunch and then came home. I come home exhausted and didn’t do anything all afternoon.

Tomorrow I have a meeting at the Detention Center at 11:00 and then nothing on my calendar until I go to KC Monday morning.

I keep feeling like I am running behind and forgetting to do something but can’t figure out what I am forgetting. Guess if it is important I will figure it out.

I have to do a 2025 income tax return for Love in Action, Inc. Not sure if I need to report all the income that came in for 2025 before we transitioned into a nonprofit or not. I asked a couple of preparers today. Both used to be accountants and we couldn’t come to a consensus. Sounds like I could go either way and list everything or just list what came in after we became a nonprofit which is nothing. I’ll have to do some more research and figure this out.

It warmed up to the mid 50’s today. That is too warm for February. This weather is anything but normal. I wonder if we will get our true winter weather this year in March or April. Anything seems possible at this point.

I see where ICE is in Manhattan, KS today doing their disappearing people thing. There has got to be a better way to deal with this issue. It would help if there was a clear and direct path to citizenship that everyone understood and could follow. This making a rule and then changing it later and expecting people to know what they are to do is not fair to anyone.

I sure could fall asleep pretty easy right now. I didn’t sleep well again last night. I’m hoping that one night this weekend I will crash and burn and sleep the clock around. A girl can dream!

I had to remind myself to stay present to what is today and not fall into anticipating what the future may hold. I can’t change anything that is happening at the state or national level. I can continue to work on myself and insure I stay above neutral. I can work on Love in Action, Inc. and help that project help the Detainees being held at Chase County Detention Center. I can be well grounded and go out into the world with my light inside on and shining bright.

Damn, some days that doesn’t feel like I am doing enough!

Grateful week one of doing taxes is in the books, grateful for a taste of spring in the middle of winter, and grateful my personal taxes are in the hands on my accountant.

This has felt like a busy day even though I had down time this morning and mid day. It was nice to sleep in this morning and not have to set my alarm.

I met a friend for lunch at noon. Always a good day when I get to have a deep conversation with a like-minded friend.

I picked Ellexia up from school at 3:20 and brought her to Cottonwood Falls so she could have a tutoring session with another of my dear friends. I enjoyed listening to the first half of her session and then ended up having a good conversation with my friend’s husband. Lucky me to have two deep conversations in the same day.

I took Ellexia back to Emporia when she was done. Ellexia thinks she will do well on her test tomorrow. Ellexia is to get hold of me if she needs another tutoring session.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia at 9:00 for another tax day. I don’t like having to get up at 7:30 but I do enjoy doing taxes so that helps offset the early rise. I do need to stop and get a few groceries afterwards.

Friday I have a meeting at 11:00 and then I have several days of nothing on my calendar. Monday I am driving to KC and having lunch with Nicole and then going to my surgeon for a follow-up visit. Tuesday and Thursday next week I will be in Emporia in the mornings doing taxes.

I told Ellexia I would try to get to her game a week from Friday so I can watch her cheer and fly. If the weather is good I will go in. Luckily the game starts at 4:30 so it won’t be a late night.

I didn’t spend much time reading the news today. Interacting with people yesterday, today and tomorrow is all my system can take. I was in isolation for almost two weeks straight and it has been a bit of shock to my system to be around people this week. If I read the news it would have dragged me down to the muck pond.

I have been checking my blood sugar readings off and on today. They are lower today than they were yesterday. Not sure if having surgery can cause a spike for a bit or what is going on. I haven’t been as thirsty today as I was earlier this week. Sure wish my body had come with an owner’s manual so I understood better what it needs.

It was spitting moisture on my second trip to Emporia this evening. I will need to allow a little extra time in the morning to clear off my windshield. I was glad the temperature was 38 so it wasn’t coming down as frozen ice. The wind made things feel cold today.

I need to type out a letter for my accountant and then take my tax package to her. It always feels good to hand that off. Don’t expect her to be done with it for several weeks but at least she has it if she has time to work on it.

Still sitting with a situation with Love in Action and am not sure what to do with it. I have a meeting Friday that may help provide some direction. There are three components to the situation and all three feel complicated alone, let alone combining all three. I’m sure it will untangle in time and solutions will be found.

I stopped by the post office in Strong City today and got four more rolls of stamps to take to the Center. They pre-stamp the cards and envelopes ahead of time and when they refill their cart it takes a lot of stamps to get all the cards stamped. We should be good to go with the 800 stamps I have taken them the last two weeks.

It does feel good to rejoin society again after my isolation period. So far I have been able to stay above neutral while I am out and about. I get tired easily but that is probably due to the surgery factor. It is getting hard for me to remember I had surgery almost three weeks ago. I trust I won’t overdue and undo what surgery did.

Looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. I will cherish my two full days at home with nothing on my calendar. I suppose I will watch the Super Bowl more for the commercials than the game. I rarely watch live TV any more and usually have no clue what they are advertising. It is fun to guess though.

Grateful Ellexia found her tutoring session helpful, grateful to get the chance to see and visit with Ellexia today, and grateful for lunch with a friend.

It is only 6:10 in the evening and I am ready for bed. Not sure why I have been so tired lately but I sure am tonight. I didn’t sleep the best again last night and I do have to keep reminding myself I am less than three weeks out from major surgery.

I was in Emporia at the Senior Center this morning at 9:00. I did my first shift of this tax year of doing taxes. It was easy today. We have a great group of volunteers and we were able to help each other out as needed. I so enjoy meeting the clients and visiting with them as I enter their information. They are so appreciative – I even got the best hug today.

After I was done doing taxes I stopped at Walgreens and got a blood sugar monitor device along with the lancets and test strips. So far my blood sugar is running higher than it should be but not in the danger zone. I will check it in the morning after fasting all night. That one should tell me more.

I am experiencing thirst that I cannot satisfy. I also am also loosing weight without doing anything to do so. The only other time that happened for me is when my thyroid was going bad and I was working my way to the thyroid storm. I also seem to be more tired than normal but with recovering from surgery that may be more surgery related.

It took me several tries to get the monitor to read properly. My fingertips are already bruised and sore.

Haven’t done anything since I got home early afternoon. I used all my energy for the day doing taxes. It sure feels like it may be a very early bedtime tonight.

I got the final tax form I was waiting on for my personal taxes so I can take the packet to my accountant one day this week. She won’t get to them till March but I like to have them on her desk and off of my desk.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for lunch. In the afternoon I am picking Ellexia up from school and bringing her to a friend I have here in Cottonwood Falls. Ellexia needs some help with her geometry. I will have to take her back home when her tutoring session is over.

Thursday morning I do taxes again and then I have nothing on my calendar until Monday when I go to KC for a surgeon appointment. I will cherish a couple days of empty space.

One day this week I need to remember to stop by the post office and get some more stamps for the Detention Center.

Have been doing lots of thinking about the direction Love in Action should go in 2026. The Detention Center put a big ask in my lap when I was up there yesterday. We also have the transportation issue that may use lots of dollars to help get detainees home after being released from the Center. I am a bit shy about asking for more donations as people have already given so very generously. My habit when a path isn’t clear is to sit and do nothing until the path opens easily. That in-between thing again! Not an easy place to sit but one that is so very necessary for me.

Grateful the first day of preparing income tax returns is in the bag, grateful my own taxes are ready to go to the accountant, and grateful I can go to bed early if I choose to do so.

I had to be up and going this morning as I needed to be in Emporia by 9:00. I was ten minutes late as I forgot to allow time to scrap my windows. It was a good day to be late as we were just checking our computers to make sure we were connected to the printer and all passwords worked.

I struggled with one user name. The lady that is the expert and was helping us didn’t catch I was using the wrong name. I only discovered it when another tax preparer came in and asked a question about her user name. Once I got the right user name everything worked.

We use a sheet from a web page for the Homestead relief program and need twitter tax information from another web page. I got both of those pages bookmarked so it will be easy to find them when I am doing taxes.

I was done by 10:00 and headed over to the lab at the Medical Clinic to have my TSH levels checked. I didn’t have to wait long and I was called back and got the blood draw.

Came home after that. I didn’t sleep well last night and I was tired. Sat and rested for a bit and fixed myself breakfast.

At 1:15 I headed over to the Detention Center and met up with the Sheriff and the Captain of the Center. A lady from the newspaper in Council Grove was going to come and interview us. I talked to the Sheriff and Captain about the program and asked them some questions. They want to purchase a work out machine to put in the yard for the Detainees to use. It has to meet specific requirements and can only be ordered through special vendors. The cost is over $10,000. They asked if Love in Action could fund half of it.

The Sargent that does the distribution for the cards and stamps project joined us. She said they needed more stamps. I took them over 400 last week and two other people had ordered stamps off of Amazon. She evidently had a box of letter sized envelopes that the Detainees can write a whole sheet of paper and mail a letter that way and she had put stamps on the entire box of envelopes. I don’t understand her logic sometimes but will have to go buy some more stamps and take up to the Detention Center. She had received some Valentine’s card from the gift registry and wanted to make them available and needs stamps for those.

The lady from Council Grove newspaper came in and visited with us for over an hour. We talked about the Center and the project Love in Action is doing. Not sure from what angle she will make a story out of this. She was also going to talk to two other people or groups of people when she was done with us.

The Captain mentioned he is still surprised that Love in Action is still going strong. He said usually volunteers drop off and loose interest after a bit.

After I was done I stopped by the Chase County Health Department to see if they could do a finger stick and check my blood sugar. They don’t have the equipment to do that.

Came home and took a chair nap. Not sure why I was dragging so bad today. Guess it was the most I have been out since surgery.

My TSH levels came back at 3.1 which is good. A tad higher than I like but real close to where they should be. I am still thirsty all the time and loosing weight without trying. I will give it another couple of days and see how my body responds to me getting back out and doing things. If I continue having symptoms I will send a note to my Endocrinologist and ask her to order some blood tests.

I have an appointment with my general doctor on the 19th so he can check things out then too.

While I was at the tax place today the sleep clinic called and gave me an appointment for a sleep study. I have to do it at the hospital instead of using the take home machine. It is for February 19.

Tomorrow I will do my first tax returns and have to be in Emporia at 9:00. This time it will matter if I am late so will need to get it together. I will use my remote start on the car and let the heater clear the windshield so the car will be ready for me when I want to leave at 8:25.

Wednesday I am meeting a friend for lunch and then picking up Ellexia from school and bringing her to meet with a friend so Ellexia can get some help with a math class. I will have to take Ellexia back to Emporia when she is done.

Thursday I do taxes again. It is a busy week for me after doing nothing for two weeks. Next week I am going to KC on Monday for an appointment with my surgeon. I am meeting Nicole for lunch before so that will make that trip more fun. I want to stop at Costco after the appointment. Luckily the doctor’s office is rather close to Costco and Nicole. Then I will do taxes next Tuesday and Thursday.

Looking forward to the weekend where I have nothing to do.

I attempted to file a claim with Amazon for the two rolls of stamps that were ordered back the first part of January and the Center never received them. The form answer didn’t have the right selections for me to do so. I shall see what happens with this. Sad that people order things and Amazon doesn’t deliver.

Sitting on the edge tonight. I am in danger of falling over into the muck pond. I think a good night’s sleep will solve my problem. Hoping I can make that happen. Sleep is not my friend some nights.

There is so much happening at the national level that I can’t make sense of it all. A story breaks one day and the next day another one breaks and it is hard to find information about the story from yesterday. No wonder people are overwhelmed and confused. I still think things are coming to a head and the tide is turning. I need to step away from the news for a bit and find my center again.

Feeling a bit out of sorts tonight. I dislike doing press interviews. They drain me for some reason. It will be interesting to see how she writes this story. Not feeling the best either. I don’t think it is from the surgery but need to keep reminding myself that the surgery took my reserves down and I am running on half of a tank. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day.

Grateful the press interview is over, grateful my computer is ready to go for tomorrow, and grateful my thyroid levels are close to being in range.

I went to Emporia a little before noon today. I picked up Ellexia and we went to Casa Ramos and met Jason for lunch. It was a delight to have lunch with the two of them. When we were done eating, Jason took Ellexia home.

Ellexia is struggling with her geometry class and has been all year. I have a friend that is retired math teacher and so I contacted her today to see if she would work with Ellexia. I am going to pick Ellexia up from school on Wednesday and take her to my friend’s house and then take her back to town. Ellexia is a smart kid but for some reason is struggling with this class. I’m sure my friend will be very helpful to her.

Anne Parelkar held a meet and greet at Casa Ramos at 1:00 so I stayed so I could meet her. We are in a virtual group together working on a project. It was nice to put a face to her name. Anne is running for US Senate as a Democrat.

When Anne first came in the restaurant she headed for the ladies room. I sat on a bench in the front of the restaurant waiting for her. When Anne came back I introduced myself and both she and her campaign manager recognized my name from the Love in Action project and had good things to say about it.

I didn’t stay for the meet and greet as I got a quick chance to visit with her before it started. They didn’t have a very big turnout but I don’t think it was well publicized. The restaurant staff that I asked where they were meeting didn’t know anything about it.

Haven’t done much else today. I have to be in Emporia in the morning to do a computer check for AARP taxes. Hoping that goes smoothly as I find those type of glitches very frustrating and hard for me to deal with.

After I get done there I need to go to the lab and get a blood draw. I have been having some weird things happen with my body and need to know where I stand on my TSH levels. If they are in range then I need to get my blood sugar levels checked.

I have lost ten pounds from the weight I was just prior to surgery in the middle of January and I am not doing anything to make that happen. I don’t mind the weight loss, in fact I like it very much, but it is starting to concern me.

Not sure how I will get my blood sugar levels checked if my thyroid levels are in range. Will cross that bridge when I get there.

Tomorrow afternoon I have to be at the Detention Center at 1:30 for a press interview of some sort. We shall see how that goes. Not my favorite thing to do.

Tuesday I do taxes for the first time this season. Wednesday I pick up Ellexia and then take her back to town. Thursday I do taxes again. Geez, going from 0 to 60 pretty quick. Be careful what you ask for!

Trusting my body is ready for a busy week ahead. I have had over two weeks of doing very little and only venturing out of the house three times. It feels good to think about getting back out and about again and rejoining society. It will be until after tax season that I will get a whole stay-at-home week again.

Tonight there is a beautiful Full Snow Moon. I keep stop writing so I can go out and look at it. The horoscope people that I follow all say that February will be a radical month of change and growth for most people. Those that don’t like change will struggle and they remind me change is live itself as nothing stays the same. Drop the resistance and ride the tide of change.

Grateful for time with Jason and Ellexia today, grateful to meet Anne today, and grateful for the beauty of a full moon.

Another stay-at-home day. Kathy went to Emporia and stopped and picked up my prescriptions. It has been another quiet day.

I worked on AARP taxes and found a form I needed to make copies of. I gave up on the problems as they are situations I won’t see and I just couldn’t do them today.

I watched a couple of movies today. I rarely watch movies but today felt like a good day to do so.

I asked Kathy to keep her bathroom faucet dripping this morning as it was only 3 degrees out. She said it is to warm up today. I asked her how high and she said 12. She thought that sounded much warmer. Not sure I agree!

It is to be in the 40’s tomorrow. Not sure I believe that with all the snow we have on the ground. We shall see.

There is a political candidate coming to Emporia tomorrow at Casa Romos. I may go in to meet her. We are on a task force thing together.

Monday I have to be in Emporia at 9:00 for a meeting about AARP taxes. Then I have a press interview at 1:30 at the Detention Center. I will be going back to Emporia Tuesday and Thursday mornings for taxes.

It will be good for me to do some acts of service this week. I feel like I have been a bump on a log lately. I hope three days out won’t be too much. Luckily I get to sit most of the time doing taxes.

Feeling a bit empty this afternoon. Too many days in a row of staying at home and not seeing other people. I’m grateful that will change this week.

Grateful it is to warm back up again next week, grateful Kathy picked up my prescriptions for me today, and grateful for this time I had in isolation.

This has been another quiet, stay-at-home day. I am on a roll with those. One of these days I will get something done but that day wasn’t today.

I was surprised we got a few snow flurries today. I don’t remember seeing them in the forecast. Luckily they didn’t mount to much. The dogs got to come in and get warm while it was snowing. We will probably bring them back in tonight as it is to drop to the single digits.

I will probably go to Emporia tomorrow to pick up two prescriptions that are ready. I’m going too just to get out of the house. I will be in town three days next week which will feel like too much. That balance line is hard to find.

My world feels very small tonight. I had to take a step back today and remind myself to stay in love and to step out of the overwhelm and fear. There is so much going on one can’t keep up with all of it. So many stories develop in a day and then get dropped as there are too many to explore.

My brain is quiet tonight. One of those days where I can’t hold on to a thought long enough to act on it.

Grateful for a rest day, grateful we didn’t get lots of snow, and grateful for the quiet.

A quiet day at home. I did manage to get dressed this morning. Progress?

Phil came over and caulked around the floor in Kathy’s bedroom. Kathy had discovered a gap that cold air was coming in. She reports her room is much warmer now. What ever would I do without Phil?

I changed the sheets on my bed and did another load of laundry today. I still need to fold and put away the other load.

Got an email from my AARP tax group that she still needed proof I had passed my tests. I thought I had sent that to her but she couldn’t find them or else I didn’t do so. I ended up taking a picture of the screenshots of the certificates and message them to her. I could not figure out how to email them to her. This computer is not able to connect to my printer and it doesn’t have my email on it and we are not allowed to add programs. She couldn’t tell me how to do it either. This type of thing frustrates me to no end. I know what I know on computers and it isn’t enough sometimes.

Took a chair nap this afternoon. I am struggling with sleep at night again.

I may go to Emporia tomorrow if a second prescription that I need is ready. I didn’t get the one the doctor prescribed yesterday yet as I have Prilosec at home and could use those. It is to be very cold again tomorrow and Saturday so may wait and pick them both up on Monday. I won’t need either of them till after that.

Can’t say I was surprised when I saw that both Moran and Marshall voted in favor of more funding for ICE. Moran speaks out of both sides of his mouth and says he will do one thing but always votes the other way. Marshall doesn’t even pretend to have empathy. I trust the Democrats won’t cave this time like they did last shut down. Wouldn’t count on it though.

No plans for the weekend. I have to go to town next week three different days so that will make the week feel busy to me. I also have a press interview Monday afternoon at the Detention Center.

Surgery was two weeks ago today. If I was still working I could go back to work. Occasionally I have a bit of pain in my abdomen where they rearranged things inside but other than that I forget I had surgery. Amazing! I trust I will remember not to lift and do much bending for another four weeks.

One day next week I need to stop and get a blood draw and have my thyroid levels checked. I should have asked my doctor to order more blood work too. The day after surgery several levels were out of whack and I want to make sure they are back to normal.

The Zoom call I was on last night was interesting. There were 45 people on the call and most were actively organizing something in their communities. I am still not sure what the point of the call was other than sharing what each of us are doing. It did feel good to learn about all that is happening throughout the state. Lots more needs to be done if ICE decides to come to KS like they are in MN.

I think the community groups in MN are teaching us how we can function without the government. The response is totally driven by community members helping other community members from the ground up. They understood over a year ago that they would be a targeted market and started getting themselves organized and educated.

Starting to feel a bit isolated and out of touch with my local contacts. I have enjoyed my hermit status for the last two weeks though. Time to rejoin the real world though.

Grateful for afternoon naps, grateful for Phil and a warmer room for Kathy, and grateful to crawl into a freshly made bed tonight.

I went to Emporia today for a doctor’s appointment. I stopped at Jacalito’s for lunch on the way to town. I hadn’t eaten out for a couple of weeks. It was a nice treat to myself.

The doctor put in a referral for me to the sleep study people. It may take up to two weeks for them to get in touch with me to do something.

I also talked to the doctor about my acid reflux. I am not sure I liked what he did. I have been taking Prilosec for some time and was concerned I was taking too much. I have read the reports on it and one of the side effects can be C-Diff. Heavens knows I don’t want to go down that road again.

He prescribed a prescription dosage of Prilosec! He said I could take lots more than I have been and still be OK. I asked him what is a long-term solution for it instead of taking more pills. He said there is a surgery that they can do but he didn’t think I was there yet. He wants me to continue taking pills for a bit longer and then he might consider referring me to a surgeon.

The prescription dosage is twice the dosage as the over the counter pills are. The only other difference is now the insurance company will pay for them instead of me buying them over the counter and taking two at a time. Luckily they will be free with my insurance coverage. Still not sure how that works!

I really dislike when we treat symptoms and not the root cause of something. I bet it is related to insurance and you have to exhaust pill avenues before they will allow you to solve the problem.

Man, our medical system is screwed up. Add it to the growing list of institutions that are not functioning for the benefit of the people they serve and instead are working to make a few lots more money.

I have a Zoom training class to participate in this evening. I will start it and see if I find it helpful. If not, I will drop off.

Monday I am going to the Detention Center for a press interview. The Sheriff, Captain, a Lieutenant and a Sargent will all be there too. Not sure what it is all about but will find out that day. Hoping to be able to talk to the team at the Detention Center about the transportation issue when we are done with the press thing.

No plans for the weekend. I did really well being out and about today. Even stopped at a grocery store to get Kathy something she needed. I didn’t have to take a nap when I got home. I still have four more weeks of restrictions on lifting and overdoing.

I start taxes next week. Monday we are going in just to make sure our computers are hooked up to the printer, etc. For some reason we usually have problems and have learned to allow ourselves a day to get the kinks out of the system before we do taxes. I will actually do my first returns on Tuesday and Thursday. Not sure what days I will be working through the month yet but will find out Monday. Not sure I am looking forward to going to Emporia at least two days a week for the next twelve weeks but I do enjoy doing taxes.

I saw where the next big No Kings Rally is March 28. I will have to give some thought to see what I want to do. I could host another one here in Cottonwood Falls or go to one of the bigger ones in Emporia or Topeka. I struggle with the energy at the bigger rallies as they tend to be full of anger. I don’t want to absorb that energy. I certainly understand why that energy is at the rally as we could choose to be angry at all that is going on right now. However, anger keeps you stuck at a lower vibration. I want energy that expands me and raises me up.

I was please with how my body handled my short outing today. My body is healing quickly and easily. I should have plenty of energy to do taxes next week. It is increasing difficult to remember not to lift things. Sure wish I could go back to taking my nightly bath. That is still four weeks away.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. Still feeling the glow from the letter the Detainee sent. It has given me a boost to keep that project going and to use every opportunity to expand it.

Grateful my body did well on my outing today, grateful it is almost time for tax season to begin, and grateful it warmed up a bit today.

This has been another quiet stay-at-home day. I didn’t sleep well last night so took a long chair nap this afternoon. I may not sleep tonight but we shall see.

Last night around 9:00 someone knocked on my door. I turned the light on and there was a young man outside. He had a letter for me that was written by one of the Detainees at the Detention Center. The guy that wrote the letter had been at the Detention Center since 2022.

It is a heart filled letter of appreciation and thanks for what Love in Action is doing for the Center. I had a nice conversation with the young man that brought it. He is a local youth that got into some trouble and then violated his probation and gets to spend several weekends in the Center. He had just gotten out for his weekend and brought the letter to me.

I asked him if I could share it on Facebook with the donors of the Love in Action project and he agreed I could. It has gotten lots of attention today. It feels like we all needed a ray of hope to focus on and know that some good is happening in the midst of all the chaos around us.

We had a conversation about the conditions inside the Detention Center. He shared with me a couple of things that need attention. I have to give this some serious thought about what to do with that information and how to go about helping improve things.

Tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment at 1:00 so will head to Emporia at 12:15. If I am not too tired I will stop and pick up a few groceries. I haven’t walked very far yet as I have only been out one time since surgery. It will be two weeks Thursday since surgery and am hoping I can start moving more and getting out more.

Funny how the days pass even when I do nothing all day. January went by quickly for me but Kathy thinks it has lasted a long time. That time thing is weird for me. I no longer can predict with any degree of reliability when something happens in relationship to time. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore.

After reading so much news yesterday I had to take a break today and have only glanced at the headlines and parts of stories. It is disheartening to me to read the vile comments people say. Somehow, someway we have to rise above it all and start treating each other with some sort of basic decency. What ever are we going to do when this is over? How will we repair this great divide?

Then again maybe the timeline gap will solve that issue. The more positive I can stay, the further I seem to get from those that are still in the muck fighting. If I can get farther and farther away they will not influence me and I can forget about them.

Besides, all I can control is myself and my reaction to things that happen. That takes all of my energy sometimes to keep myself reigned in.

Grateful for a letter from a Detainee, grateful for a young man that delivered it and grateful for a long chair nap today.

Kathy and I are both still in our pajamas. We decided we weren’t going anywhere and no one was coming over so why get dressed. I put on a warm sweater over my PJ’s and have sat in my chair with the floor heater going most of the day.

For some reason I was able to do a deep dive into the news today and stay above neutral. Most days I can’t do that. Not sure I found anything I didn’t already know but it is interesting to see what others are saying and doing.

If you get a chance, look up Mariann Edgar Budde. She posted a wonderful post today and gave ideas on what we can be doing now. She is the Bishop that spoke at Trump’s inauguration and showed much courage. I have been saying for a long time we need leadership that tells us what we can be doing in these hard times. Bishop Budde stepped up to the plate. I wish she would run for President.

I found a couple quotes that I love. “In these trying times, find a helper. Be a helper. Be kind.” Another one “We can ALL be a part in our own way. You don’t have to do everything. But we have to do something every day to fight back.”

Other than read the news I really haven’t done much today. It has been a very quiet day at home. I am on day 11 post surgery with no pain, no ibuprofen or Tylenol, and no itch! I am grateful for my recovery and how smooth it is going.

The word steady keeps showing up for me. I had chosen the word connection as my word of the year but am feeling the need to change it to steady. As the world chaos continues I feel the need to be steady. Steady it is!

Wondering about attempting to gather a group of people and together coming up with a list of actionable items we could do collectively as well as individually. I can’t be the only one struggling with the question what is my role in all of this. How can I be a helper?

No plans for tomorrow. Wednesday I have a 1:00 appointment with my doctor in Emporia to talk about two things that happened during recovery. One is I may possibly have sleep apnea and was told by the nurses and doctor to have it checked out. The other is my acid reflux. I had the most serious pain in my chest when I had a gas bubble from how they did the surgery. I have read more about it and I think I need to have that area checked out to make sure there isn’t some damage in that area.

I think doing taxes starts next week. I need to call the organizer and find out what shifts I will be working in February. We are only doing them three days a week in February and then in March are going to four days a week. She is supposed to find a day or two that we can do them here in Cottonwood Falls.

These are certainly troubled times and beautiful times. I am learning how to hold both parts of that at the same time. It requires an expansion of my heart and soul. It is a challenge to remain steady and rock back and forth between the two and not feel like I am getting thrown off.

Grateful for another day of healing and quiet, grateful for people like Bishop Budde that offer comfort, and grateful for all that are stepping up and becoming helpers.

This has been another quiet day at home. I did manage to take a shower this morning and get dressed so there is that!

My sweet neighbor came over and was going to shovel a path to my car for me. I love when my neighbors offer random acts of kindness. I told her I had someone coming but I sure appreciate her offer.

The guy that shovels for me texted me yesterday to see if I wanted him to come over. I said yes and he came this afternoon. We now have a path shoveled to each of our cars. I asked him to take the snow off of my car. He kinda did but I don’t think he had the right tools to do so. I have been remote starting my car and attempting to melt the ice off the windshield. I don’t think scrapping windows is on my list of things I can do with my doctor’s approval. I don’t plan on going anywhere until Wednesday so maybe it will warm up enough between now and then and I won’t have to scrape.

I haven’t taken any ibuprofen today and have had no pain. The itching has stopped too. It is going to be hard to remember not to lift things and bend over a lot. I still have four and one-half weeks to go. Grateful for the way my body is healing so quickly.

The silly dogs spent most of the day outside. They love cold weather! Thinking they will sleep inside tonight and then go back out in the morning. Ellie, the cat that usually is in the dog pen has shown no interest in returning to the dog pen.

I read a lot of the news today and was able to stay above neutral doing so. I am still shocked that there are people that are applauding what ICE is doing, even with the two murders they have committed. It will be interesting to watch how this all plays out over the next couple months. The chaos is getting louder.

Underneath the chaos runs a river of peace. One has to get quiet to tap into it. People are being given many chances to level up and get on a different timeline and change their reality. Many are doing so yet many are so entrenched where they are they can’t let go. I am reminded of the quote that says “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change”. Everyone gets to decide for themselves if they want to embrace a new way of being. Some never will.

Sent an email to the KS Senators today. Not sure they can hear me but I have to try. I don’t think Marshall will bend at all. I still think Moran has a heart but is under tremendous pressure to not show it. Hope he grows a pair and steps up and does the right thing for a change.

Grateful for the guy that shovels my sidewalks, grateful for my great neighbors, and grateful for my rapid healing.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow! It snowed off and on all night and day today. Hard to tell how much we have but everything is covered so guessing at least six inches. It is also bitter cold.

The dogs spent part of the day outside. They love cold weather. They did want to come back in after about an hour. Guess they aren’t completely dumb.

I haven’t done anything today. Still have my pajamas on. Snow days are good days to be quiet. I stepped outside for a very brief moment and it was so quiet outside. I didn’t see many cars on the road in front of my house today.

I was looking for something in my bathroom and saw the container the orthopedic guy prescribed for my knee. I put some of the cream on my stomach to calm the itch and it worked. I haven’t taken any ibuprofen today. No pain so far! It would be good for my liver if I don’t have to take it anymore.

The guy that shoveled my driveway last year sent me a text and let me know he could do it again. He is coming sometime tomorrow to clear a path to our cars and to the mailbox.

It has been a hard day after hearing about the man that was killed in MN this morning. It is absolutely mind blowing that two people can watch the videos and come to two completely different understandings about what happened. It has never felt more true of the statement you see what you expect to see.

With each of these incidents I feel the timeline gap widening. It also reminds me there really are many different realities playing out at the same time. Every person gets to choose for themselves what they want to see and then what they want to do with the information they see.

This was another opportunity to open your heart and jump a timeline. Some will take this chance and others won’t be able to. It also presented another opportunity to allow yourself to fully feel the emotions it brought up in you and then return to above neutral and stay in love.

No plans for tomorrow. It is to be bitter cold tomorrow and Monday and I have no plans to step outside or go anywhere. I do have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia Wednesday so hoping it warms up a bit before that.

Grateful for the quiet today, grateful to have found a solution to my itch problem, and grateful for warm blankets and space heaters.

This has been a pajama day. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere and no one was coming over so why get dressed up? The temperature sure did drop today. We have had snow spit most of the day. Not sure when the real snow will get here.

I had my virtual visit with my Endocrinologist PA at 11:00. I got a text at 10:00 inviting me to join the call. I was surprised they wanted me that early but I signed on. Got another text at 10:15 inviting me to join the call. Figured out they weren’t serious yet.

The nurse called around 11:00 and did the nurse thing. She must be new as she had no idea how to pronounce most of my medications and didn’t know what they were for. It took us a bit to get through them all as sometimes the names in the computer is different than what is on the bottle of pills.

The PA finally was ready about 11:15. She told me there had been a big conference of thyroid physicians and they had a big discussion about how long a patient needs to continue getting sonograms of their throat after having had thyroid cancer. The conclusion of this group was forever. I had surpassed the five year mark which I had been told way back when was the cutoff.

The other thing she told me is that it may take up to three months to regain my energy back following the surgery I had. I guess without a thyroid recovery is longer and slower. I asked her if she had any other good news! Yikes! Maybe I will be an exception.

She told me to do labs in another couple of weeks. Surgery can throw off my levels and there is no use checking them now as they may be misleading. Grateful I didn’t drive to Emporia Thursday and have them done.

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I play Russian Roulette taking Benadryl. Sometimes it knocks me out and other times it wires me. The night before it knocked me out and last night it wired me and didn’t do anything to stop the itching. Don’t think I will play that game tonight. The itching is driving me a little crazy though.

I was sitting in my chair and I lifted up my pajama top to see if I had created more bruising from scratching my itch. I looked down and one of the incision sites looked like my nipple My first thought was man did they drop! I showed Kathy and we both got a good laugh.

This has been a bit of a restless day for me. I’m sure most of that was from not sleeping last night. It has been a long day! I did take a two-hour nap after my phone call with the PA. That helped knock the rough edge off but I still feel exhausted.

Absolutely no plans for the weekend. It will be interesting to see if we get the predicted 10 inches of snow. I heard the grocery stores in Emporia were getting wiped out of all the basic stuff.

We brought the cat and two dogs in. The dogs aren’t too happy being inside a warm house. They are built for cold weather. They haven’t figured out the chain thing yet. Kathy has let them back out into their pen for short bits all day. We shall see what happens tonight and tomorrow.

The house has a draft and it feels like there is an open window somewhere and the cold is blowing in. We checked all the windows and didn’t find anything. I put a heater in my bathroom and will leave water dripping overnight and the cabinet under the sink doors open. Last winter our pipes froze as I didn’t do any of those things. The new addition is the warmest part of the house. Phil built it nice and tight and he put lots of insulation up.

Attempting to settle in for the next several days. I don’t like to drive on icy roads. Good thing I don’t have to get out until my doctor’s appointment Wednesday. I find it harder to stay home when I have no choice about it though. I keep reminding myself I love stay-at-home days with lots of empty space in them.

Hoping tomorrow I can do my AARP tax problems. I read through a couple of them and they didn’t make sense to me as I still had a lot of brain fog. I’ll try again tomorrow.

My world feels pretty small right now. The storm is going to give me another couple days at home. Trusting this will help me heal quicker and when I am able to get out it will go smoothly.

Grateful for virtual doctor’s appointments, grateful to be able to laugh at myself, and grateful for a warm house to shelter in.

One week out from surgery. Only five more weeks of restrictions ahead of me. I am in the itchy part of recovery. Looked it up last night on a medical site that I trust and it takes one to two weeks for the itching to stop. The site recommended I take some Benadryl. I tried some during the night and I finally found some relief and sleep. I haven’t taken any today but will take some more at bedtime. Man, it is hard not to scratch where it itches.

I was talking to Jason on the phone today and we were making plans in case the storm is as bad as it might be. I told Jason I wasn’t sure how we were going to be able to walk the dogs. Cold weather is very hard for Kathy with her lung issues and I am not able to walk the dogs right now. He suggested we get a long chain and attached it to something solid outside and then let the dogs go out on their own attached to the chain. Brilliant! As cold as it is going to be, we will bring the two dogs and the cat inside when it starts snowing tomorrow.

I drove myself to the bank downtown CWF to deposit a check for Love in Action, dropped a thank you note off to mail at the post office and then went to Dollar General and found some chain. We attached it to the dog pen as the dog pen is very secure and not something the dogs could pull apart. The other end is inside the back door. We will try it out tomorrow and see what the dogs do. I have a second length of chain if they need more length. We will let them out one by one. Hoping this works.

I worked on my personal income taxes today and am almost done. I need to find a few more numbers and then I will have to wait for the tax statements to come from three different banks.

The doctor’s office that I have an appointment with in Topeka called. They are switching me to a virtual call for my appointment tomorrow. Sweet! Now I don’t have to drive to Topeka and race the weather home. I will have to do labs next week in Emporia so we won’t have those results for the visit but they are good about calling if needed when the results are in. I’m so grateful they are doing this. I was worried about the drive home if the snow comes in early.

Felt good to get out of the house for a hot minute. I stopped and got the car filled with gas so I don’t have to do that next week in the cold. I had to walk just a bit at Dollar General to find the dog chain but that was good for me. I was a bit tired when I got home though. This house is not a good lap house. The country house was great for doing laps – this one is a bit small for that.

No plans until next Wednesday when I have a doctor’s appointment in Emporia. Sad that my social life these days is going to doctor appointments! I had heard that is what happens when one gets old. I must be old as that is what is happening to me.

These are such weird times. I think most of us are living in cognitive dissonance and it is hard to hold what is happening. I just can’t make sense of most of it. I am thinking about ways to help build a community with all included. Someday, somehow we have to find ways to come together. We all have more in common than we have differences.

Anyone else feel a shift happening quietly above all the chaos? I ground into that shift regularly and find much peace. Just like a fire can restore the prairie, this destruction that is causing our systems to fall apart is giving us all a chance to help rebuild them in new ways. How that might work or look I have no idea. I trust that together we can figure that all out.

Grateful for a doctor that offered a virtual visit, grateful to get out of the house for 30 minutes today, and grateful for a shift that is happening.

Another day of staying home. This has felt like a long day to me. I had a rough night last night and have felt a bit cranky today.

I woke up during the night in a lot of pain. I finally remembered I had not taken any ibuprofen before I went to bed. I got up and took some and within 30 minutes the pain let up and I was able to get a bit of good sleep.

My incision sites are itching which is a sign of healing. The bruises around them are fading and all have lost the glue or tape that was over them.

I was tired this afternoon and attempted a nap but never did go to sleep. Maybe tonight I will get lots of sleep to make up for the last two nights. Maybe it is a good sign that sleep is a problem again as that is my normal.

Kathy went to Emporia this afternoon so I put in a Walmart order so she could pick up my groceries. For the first time I didn’t get everything I had ordered. They quickly refunded me though. I am grateful it wasn’t the one thing I really needed – ibuprofen.

I did work on my personal income taxes for a short bit. Didn’t open my computer for the AARP homework. That can wait for an easy day.

Still on the fence about going to Topeka Friday for a doctor’s appointment. I will probably make a last minute decision. The appointment is at 11:00 so should be able to be home by 1:00. I will see when the winter weather is to hit us. I do not want to have to drive home on ice covered highways. I physically could not walk too far if something should happen.

Kathy got us each some long John’s in case power goes out and we need to stay warm. Finger’s crossed it will stay on. The only heat source in this house is my oven. Guess we could cover the doorways with blankets and sleep in the kitchen to stay warm. At least with a gas range we could heat food up.

Not feeling very motivated this evening. Guess it is a good time for the winter weather to hit as I really shouldn’t be getting out much anyways. The snow will be pretty for a bit. I dislike really cold weather though. I will need to put on my big girl panties and deal!

Hard to believe that I had surgery a week ago tomorrow. I am grateful I went through with it as the recovery has been much easier than I anticipated it might be. I can do five more weeks of this – right?

Grateful Kathy was able to bring my order home, grateful I discovered a solution for my pain during the night, and grateful my body is healing.

I just tried to put the date as February 20. I must want the next 30 days to be over already!

I went out last night around 9:00 and saw the Northern Lights. There was a very faint red glow to the north. They showed up better on my iPhone camera. I didn’t stay out long enough to get a good picture. They will probably make another appearance tonight from what I have read.

Louis, Kathy’s cat got out while I was out looking at the lights. Kathy had just gone to bed and I had to wake her up to get Louis and bring him inside. Louis and I are not what you would call best buddies.

Pain is tolerable again today. A bit more sore but it feels like you do when you have a good work out and the next day you are sore. At least I think that is the feeling – it has been a hot minute since I worked out and had that feeling! I took some ibuprofen this morning and haven’t taken anything else for pain yet. So far today, I haven’t taken a nap. I had trouble sleeping last night so decided to try to go without a nap and see if that will help me sleep better at night. Maybe it is a sign that I am back to normal as having trouble sleeping is not new behavior for me.

A dear friend brought by some homemade potato soup late morning. I can tell it was made with love. It hit the spot and was so good!

Another friend stopped by a house in Emporia for me and brought me some papers I need to complete my tax homework for AARP. I so appreciate this pickup and drop off.

I am still grounded through tomorrow if you count day of surgery as Day 1. I don’t have anywhere to go Thursday so will probably stay home that day too. Depending on the weather I have a doctor’s appointment to go to Friday. If it is snowing I won’t go.

Got the blog pages that I had printed a week ago three-holed punched and put into a binder. Felt good to get that little project finished up.

Worked on my personal income taxes for a bit. I get tired easily so didn’t get them done. If I continue to do a bit every day I should have them done by the time the forms I need come in.

I sent a note to my doctor about the possible sleep apnea thing. To my surprise he wants to see me in person before he does anything. I now have an appointment next week to see him. He is hard to get into so I was surprised they found a time for me to see him. While there, I will mention the pain I have when I swallow and see if he will do anything about that too.

I walked to my mailbox twice today. Felt good to get out and take a very short walk. I am starting to go a little house crazy as I have been inside since Friday afternoon.

Hoping tomorrow I have enough brain power to do some of the tax class problems. I know better than to try them when I am not 100%. I have almost two weeks to work on them so if I can’t tomorrow, I’ll try another day.

Am going to gauge the interest in developing advocates that the people that are in danger of disappearing could talk to. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to that is safe and may know how to access resources that it is not safe for those in danger to do. Not sure what the response will be but I am going to put it out there and will see if it goes anywhere. I have a family that I met with several months ago, I listened to their story and they know I have their back if something should happen to them.

Staying home and doing little is a lesson in patience for me. Luckily right now my body is still letting me know it needs lots of rest and quiet movement for it to heal. It is going to be a struggle to maintain this for six weeks. I am better at it this time than 20 years ago when I had my hysterectomy. Progress?

Grateful for the beauty of Mother Nature, grateful for friends that deliver love in soup and needed paperwork, and grateful my body is healing quietly.

Happy birthday to my grandson Tagen. He turns 20 today. My how time goes by in a hot minute. Trust I will get to see him soon so I can give him his gift.

I woke up really sore this morning. I didn’t sleep much last night and finally connected the dots to my soreness. I tossed and turned most of the night and probably got more exercise than I have since surgery. My abdomen did not appreciate my movement.

For a while this morning, it felt like the five small incision sites were playing a game of Sound Off. One by one they would yell at me. Thankfully that has slowed down. The glue they put over each one is slowly peeling off. Some are about the size of a quarter and some are bigger than a silver dollar. My tummy is colorful right now!

Still having pain when I swallow. I had it before surgery occasionally so thinking surgery aggravated an existing problem. I had lots of acid reflux before surgery and am thinking my esophagus is burned a bit. I will get it checked out if the pain continues. It has been a bit easier to get food and drink down today.

Took a chair nap late morning. Felt good to get some more sleep. So far this afternoon, I haven’t felt the need to go lay down. I will if sleep attempts to find me again.

Made a crock pot of vegetable beef soup this morning. I had to sit down and rest before I was done making it. I even used frozen veggies so I didn’t have to chop anything but it still wore me out. I was out of an ingredient and substituted something else and the taste is not as good as normal.

A friend offered to go to Emporia tomorrow and pick up the tax worksheets I need to work on before I start doing taxes February 1. I am so lucky to have friends that offer before I can ask to help me out. Not sure when I will have full brain power back and will be able to work on the problems but it will be nice to have them here when I can do them.

This has felt like a long day. Time has moved very slowly for me today. It was nice to have the sun come out this afternoon. We have a good chance to see the Northern Lights again tonight. Not sure if I will bundle up and step outside or not. I can’t drive anywhere to go see them so will have to make do with what shows in my yard.

Sounds like we may get some winter weather this weekend. I am scheduled to go to Topeka on Friday but may need to reschedule if the snow comes early in the day. Wonder what March weather will be like with winter arriving so late this year.

Thinking about MLK today on this day that we celebrate him. Wondering who our hero will be this time around. Wonder if they are speaking out already but we can’t hear them through the chaos. A writer I follow reminded me today that this country has always been racist, especially to those with black skin. Some whites are finally recognizing it and speaking out.

Three days of being grounded over, four to go. I can do this! I think I can, I think I can. Amazed at how little pain I have had overall. It is going to be a challenge to stay low for six more weeks to let the wounds completely heal.

Grateful for Tagen and the joy he brings to my life, grateful for my friend that is helping me out yet again, and grateful the pain has been much lower than I expected it to be.

It has been a good day. I slept off and on overnight. I got up at 8:15 and was able to stay awake until 11:15. Took a three hour nap and have been up since. I am getting tired so will probably take a nap after I finish writing.

Pain is manageable with Tylenol and Ibuprofen. The worse pain is when I swallow either food or water. After I swallow I get a sharp pain above my breast bone. Thinking I must have gotten a bit of a bruise from the breathing tube during surgery. From everything I have read it will get better by day seven or so.

The pain in my abdomen is like after childbirth. There, noticeable but manageable. I notice it the most when I stand after sitting for too long. May need to set the timer on my iPhone so I remember to get up and move more and see if that helps.

I managed to take a shower yesterday. That felt so good. I took it in my own bathroom. No problem getting in and out of the tub. I will indulge again tonight. Sure miss my bath though.

I have felt a bit restless today. Funny that before surgery I could waste an entire day playing games on my iPad and doing nothing and didn’t feel restless. Now, because I have to basically do nothing it is making me restless. Guess it is a lesson on being grateful for what you have. Enjoy your freedom of doing whatever you want to do! You just might miss it when you have to sit all day.

My brain fog is easing up. I hope to start working on my own personal taxes this week and get those finished up. I will have to wait for all the tax statements to come in before I take them to the accountant but it will be good to have the gathering of all the information completed.

So far this has been easier than I anticipated. It does remind me of my hysterectomy I had done 20 years ago. I know there will be a few hard days ahead, especially if I overdue. It is hard to find that balance sometimes.

My life has shrunk down during this period of isolation. It is giving me an opportunity to prioritize what I want to pick back up when this is done. Funny how we sometimes pick things up that really don’t serve our higher interest but we struggle to set them down. I will attempt to use this time wisely and examine what I want to continue to carry and what to leave behind.

Needless to say I have no plans for next week except continuing to focus on my healing. I do have a doctor’s appointment scheduled in Topeka for Friday if I am up to the trip. Kathy can drive me if needed. I am free to drive after one week but I will wait to see how I am doing. Topeka is over an hour away and not sure it is wise for me to drive myself. I can always cancel and reschedule the appointment if I am not up to making the trip, even as a passenger.

I do have some more AARP tax prep to work on if the mood hits. I finished all the tests but there are some problems I can work on to refresh my memory on the things we use the most. I’ll have to get someone to pick them up and bring them to me as I can’t go get them.

We are going to start doing taxes Feb 3 at the Senior Center in Emporia. If you want to get your taxes done for free, call the Senior Center the week of February 1 and get on the schedule. They are free and open to people of all ages. We can’t do depreciation or taxes for people that have employees. We are doing them three mornings a week in February and then four mornings a week in March and the first half of April.

I can do some at home too if you can’t make it to the Senior Center. Call me and let’s find a time. 620-481-8323.

Grateful for the healing that is happening, grateful the recovery is going smoothly so far, and grateful for all the love and support being shown to me.

This has been a sleepy day for me. I was able to sleep in four hour segments all night and day. When I would wake up I was only up for an hour or so and would go back to sleep. Still feel tired so thinking I will be able to sleep tonight too.

I did manage to eat something today. I had a little bit of cottage cheese around noon and just had some chicken and rice soup. So far both have stayed down and haven’t bothered me too much. I still get the occasional run of little hiccups but those are decreasing.

Pain is very tolerable not that I would wish for it to remain. Have only taken Tylenol and Ibuprofen for pain today. I need to start writing down what I took when as I can’t remember. Time is doing its thing with me and I have no relationship to it today.

This feels like what childbirth felt like for the most part except I am more tired. I am still slow moving and have no energy but I don’t have much to do anyways. Grateful I don’t have a newborn to care for right now. How do new mother’s do this? This is Day 3 of being grounded. I am not to leave the house until next Thursday and then only if absolutely necessary. He would prefer two weeks of me being grounded but said I could get out occasionally after one week.

I have a doctor’s appointment in Topeka next Friday. I will see how I am feeling Monday and I might call and change it. It is with the PA at my Endocrinologist office and I see the actual doctor about four weeks later. No need to see both so close together.

Grateful I got my tax tests taken and are done with them as my brain power seems to have reduced down a bit. Hard to focus on much right now. I’m sure that is from the drugs used to knock me out and it will gradually improve. I have to keep reminding myself I am 72 years-old and things take longer to come back on-line.

Kathy had washed my sheets and made my bed yesterday so when I came home I had a fresh bed to sleep in. That was one of the nicest gifts I have received for a long time. She also cleaned house so it was nice and fresh when I came home.

Another cold, winter like day today. I need to walk to the mailbox and get the mail but that is going to wait for a warmer day. Not sure I can walk that far but am going to give it a try tomorrow if it warms up. It will do me good to get out and walk a bit.

Grateful the pain is manageable today without the use of the heavy drugs, grateful for a clean bed last night when I got home, and grateful I was able to eat today.