At some point this afternoon Kathy commented I must have declared today a PJ day. I had forgotten to get dressed this morning. Oh well, I had no plans other than to stay home and get a few things done here.
If I got four hours of sleep total last night I would be surprised. One of those nights where sleep was playing hide and seek and I couldn’t find it. Even took a second bath but even that didn’t help much. I did take a nap mid morning and got an hour or two of sleep. Trusting tonight I will crash and burn and get lots of sleep.
It is muggy in the house today. I wish the storm would hurry up and get here and be gone. I have felt anticipation all day waiting for the storm to arrive.
Last night when I was driving home from Wichita I saw the back end of the storm that caused the tornados. It was fascinating to watch the constant lightning and watch the clouds swirl.
I got the Pen Pals matched up today. I need to do one more match and the first set will be done. Still not 100% sure how the app program works but hoping it is flexible enough that all the Pen Pals can use the same account. Guess I will find out as others attempt to log in. I am learning along with the other volunteers.
As I was matching them up I discovered one of the detainees requesting a pen pal had sent two letters. Not sure why he did that but guess he is anxious for a pen pal.
For a while I have been sitting with a bit of an unsettled feeling about Love in Action. Where are the boundaries around it? What is our real purpose? How do I keep the focus on what we are doing without getting pulled off track?
I finally realized today that our main purpose is to bear witness to the detainees and their stories and to share their stories. The program limits what we can do for them individually and as a recovering people pleaser that was hard for me. I too used to jump directly to problem solving and the program limits doesn’t allow that as what we do for one we have to do for all. Understanding we are bearing witness helps give me a better sense of our purpose and accept that it is enough.
Someone called me this morning and was really pushing Love in Action to do more to solve individual problems. It triggered something in me and I had to sit and figure out why that happened. Now I get it and I can release the anxiety it caused.
I am a bit concerned about the pen pal program. It has the potential to grow into something bigger than I want to handle. However, it is a great way to give volunteers a hands on experience with the Detainees and for us to learn about their stories and to be able to bear witness even more. It is so tempting though to problem solve and offer solutions beyond what the program can offer. No use anticipating problems though. Maybe others are better at bearing witness alone than I am and I can learn from them.
Isn’t it interesting how life can provide the exact lesson you need at the exact time if one is open and ready for the lesson? Now I know how to frame the pen pal program and allow it to be enough without fixing anything.
Tomorrow is another free day. Maybe I will even get dressed tomorrow! Thursday I have to be in Topeka by 9:15 for a doctor’s appointment. No plans after that for a long while on my calendar.
Love days where a life lesson comes into clarity. I feel an ease about Love in Action that settles something in me.
Grateful for a PJ day at home, grateful for clarity about bearing witness, and grateful the storm that is coming will be here soon.