Starry night on the prairie

Rain? Snow? Dry? All of the above? I woke up to hearing hard rain falling. Went back to sleep and when I woke up again I thought the rain had stopped. Looked outside and we were getting snow. That has moved on and now it is dry. More rain/snow is predicted for the rest of the day and overnight.

It was a mud fest going down to take care of the chickens. Definitely needed my muck boots today. The girls gave me 12 eggs on this wet, cold January morning.

I called and rescheduled my MRI and exercise test with KU. The lady said I was on her list for her to call me to reschedule. I was thinking about driving up this afternoon but I checked radar and the road between here and there was getting snow so decided to stay home and reschedule. I will try again next week.

The watering can for the chickens seems to not be holding water – or else they are drinking lots of extra water. I will keep an eye on it and will need to get a new one if it isn’t holding water. Eggs are mainly water and the chickens won’t lay eggs if they don’t have enough water. I had thought about going into Strong City this morning to get one until I saw the snow coming down. I am a big chicken these days when it comes to getting out on icky roads. Just don’t do it unless I absolutely have to.

My neighbor came up to get some eggs. She said V Rd was slick today. V Road used to be a nice gravel road but the gravel seems to have disappeared lately. It is much muddier than it ever used to be.

Haven’t gotten anything done yet today. It is a good day to sit and guess what the weather is going to do. I had left my vacuum out thinking I would get the hallway and entry way cleaned today. I still might but it hasn’t sounded important enough to motivate me to do it yet. When I get tired of sitting, I will get at it.

Kathy sent me a text and asked me to feed Louis. I’m grateful she chose to stay inside where it was warm and not get out to do something I could easily do. She doesn’t have a garage where she is housesitting so she would have had to clean her car off. Silly to do that when she had an option to stay in.

I have a meeting to go to in Emporia Wednesday evening at 6:45 if the roads are good by then. It will probably get canceled if they aren’t good. I don’t like driving at night these days and avoid it when I can.

We are to get bitter cold by the end of the week with the high in the single digits. I don’t like that cold of weather. It gets scary just walking down to take care of the chickens when it is that cold. Come on Spring! I am ready for you.

Nothing on my calendar other than the possible meeting Wednesday night until the Five Wishes Workshop Saturday. Not expecting many to come as it is going to be very cold that day. I will schedule another one sometime in February, hopefully when the weather is a bit warmer. One never knows in KS what to expect.

I do need to get to Emporia either late this week or Monday of next week to sign insurance papers so I can obtain new house and car insurance. Hopefully, things will clear out soon and it will be easy to get to town. May have to skip going to the Chiropractor this week but that is no big deal. Grateful I got groceries yesterday.

Winter is a good time to turn inward and do some reflections and shadow work. Might as well use this cue from Mother Nature and get some extra rest and quiet time. She seems to be reminding me that this time of isolation is needed for my soul right now. Sometimes it is hard for me to sit with my self and allow myself to feel whatever needs to come up.

Grateful I can stay home and be warm and cozy on this winter day, grateful KU was able to reschedule my appointment tomorrow so I can stay home, and grateful for this empty space time of peace, quiet and isolation.

Happy birthday to Craig. He is wintering in Florida – smart man. Trust Nancy will spoil him today and celebrate him for us.

Went to Emporia mid day to drop some mail off at Michelle’s house, make a deposit and pick up a few groceries. The forecast is not looking good for several days so decided I needed to go today while the roads were dry and clear. We are to have blizzard conditions Monday and Tuesday. Pretty sure I won’t be going to KC Tuesday as planned. I don’t have anything on my calendar next week until Saturday so will be good to stay home for a bit.

Kathy came home this morning to pick up a few things and to love on her cat. I told her to text me if she didn’t want to come for the next couple of days and I will feed Louis for her. No use risking her life doing something I can do easily.

Got the laundry room cleaned today. It was disgusting. Not sure why I let it go so long between cleanings but it is clean now. I even got under the dryer cleaned. For some reason there was some lint on the wall so I got that cleaned off and the top of the washer cleaned. Not sure why I expect clean clothes to come out of a dirty washer.

I have some potato soup cooking. Sure makes the house smell good. I had some potatoes that needed used up and some milk that was going out of date. Picked up some celery and onion at the grocery store this morning and turned it all into potato soup. Soup sounds good on a blizzard week. I’m sure I have enough to eat on for several days. It is hard to make a small batch of potato soup.

Got lots of paper thrown away from my file cabinet last night. I am down to about 15 files now. Just don’t need to save records like I did when I had the retreat center and AirBnB. Found some old cards, letters, etc. that I got rid of. At the first of the year, I like to throw away things that hold old energy in them. I feel it allows for new clean energy to come inside instead. Still have one more drawer to go through in the file cabinet. It holds old tax records and I need to decide what I have to keep and what I can throw away. I’ll have to look up the suggested record retention recommendations and go from there.

I took some time and checked out the requirements in order to deduct storm damage and you can only do it if the storm damage happened in a federally declared disaster area. Good to know but sad I can’t deduct some of my losses that insurance won’t cover. No use gathering all the information to take to my tax accountant.

No plans for the next couple of days other than staying inside where it is warm and dry. I only will venture out once a day to take care of the chickens. I remember one year I did the chores during a blizzard. It was hard to find my way down there and then back to the house. Maybe I can catch a break and find a sweet spot during the expected snow storm that is coming in.

Monday I do need to make about six phone calls and get some things scheduled. I need a hair cut but will wait until I know what the roads are like to schedule that. I won’t go to the Chiropractor until later in the week when the roads are clear again. I also need to schedule an oil change but won’t do that until I know when I can safely get there.

I got the back deck shoveled yesterday late afternoon. Water is still dripping off the roof but not as much as yesterday. I don’t like the water to turn to ice and then have a layer of ice that snow covers up. It is supposed to get above freezing today so am thinking most of the snow that is on the ground now will melt before the new stuff comes tomorrow. The chicken coop sure is muddy. The girls enjoyed rearranging the fresh straw I put down for them yesterday.

I will watch the Chiefs game soon. It takes me five minutes to find the darn channel it is on. I miss the days where you could tune to the channel you wanted and didn’t have to take ten steps to get there. Hope they play better than they have been. I don’t expect them to get very far in the playoffs this year.

Sitting in a good head space today. Feel like I am on a bit of a roller coaster lately but it seems to be slowing down. I know what triggered me and it is going to take a few days for things to become clear to me what the outcome will be. I did some fact finding last night which helped. I have a tendency to go to the worse case scenario in my head and that isn’t helpful.

Grateful for a nice day before the storm comes, grateful to have another room clean, and grateful for the potato soup that is cooking.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Finally took a second hot bath at 3:00 and was able to sleep after that. I got a text that woke me up at 7:00 but I was able to go back to sleep for a bit.

Having a much better day today compared to yesterday. I got triggered yesterday early and had trouble finding my grounding afterwards. I feel grounded today and have been able to do a few things.

Worked on tax prep for about an hour. I have some of the rental properties done. Need to get some paperwork from my business partner that manages the others and then I can finish that part of taxes up. Feels good to have a head start on those.

I always think about selling off the rental properties each year when I do taxes. I look at the return and wonder if I could do better putting my money somewhere else. What the return each year doesn’t show, is the increase in valve of the property. When you factor that in, it makes a difference in the return on investment.

About this time of year I consider selling this house too. I am struggling to keep it up, especially with all the hail damage stuff I continue to deal with. Not sure I see the end line of that yet. This house is way too big for two people and I could put the value of it to better use. Yet, I love living here and think I can do it for one more year. One of these years I won’t be able to say that but until I do, I guess I will stay here.

As I worked on my personal taxes I realized I didn’t have much medical stuff last year. I did have a second case of Covid but managed to get over that without needing much medical attention. No surgeries, etc. last year! Yay! I hope that trend continues for the foreseeable future. My thyroid medication is $75 a month out of pocket – and that is with pharmaceutical insurance. Yikes! Luckily the other stuff I take is cheap.

Not sure how income taxes work with the hail damage stuff. I am tracking what I have had to pay out and what insurance has covered so far. I don’t know if I get to deduct any of my losses or not. Probably not but I will take the numbers to my accountant in case.

I am always struck by how much insurance and taxes go up every year. How do people on fixed incomes afford to continue to stay in their houses? I wish there was an end in sight to the increases but I don’t see one. I hate to raise rent every year but with those two items increasing I almost have to if I want to continue to stay even.

It has only warmed up to 31 so far today but the snow is melting off the roof. There is a steady drip from the roof line. I don’t have guttering yet so the water drips off all along the roof line. I need to remember to go out and sweep off the water at sunset time so it doesn’t freeze overnight.

Need to take the girls some straw when I go down today. Their watering container leaked the other day and their floor in the coop is wet. Not a good day to clean out the coop so I will lay a thick layer of straw over what is in there. I also need to hang up the heat lamp as the forecast is calling for single digit highs later next week. When it gets that cold, I turn on a heat lamp for them to help keep their water container thawed. Today is about as nice as it is going to be for the next week so will take advantage and get those two things done.

I need to go through all my paper files and do a yearly purge of records I no longer need to keep. I quit saving so many things so it won’t take me too long to do now. That used to be a huge job when I kept the books for the stores. So grateful I no longer have that big of a task to do.

Kathy is housesitting for a friend for the next week or so. The house sure feels big and empty with her not here. Her cat and I are barely on speaking terms and he is going to have to deal with me. I’m sure he will be glad when Kathy comes back home to stay.

Got news that a dear friend’s husband made his transition this morning. I had helped them with end of life planning and am so grateful they had made decisions of what his wishes are many months ago. It makes this very difficult time a bit easier. Death is never easy but when you know what the departed one wanted, it does help make that part of it easier. It allows for the loved ones left behind to have to make fewer decisions at a very stressful time.

I am hosting a Five Wishes Workshop next Saturday at my house from 2:00 – 4:00. You will get a good start on documenting your final wishes. Cost is $25 and it is open to all. Come if you can. If that time doesn’t work for you, reach out and we will find a time that works for both of us.

Feel like I moved back up the ladder of consciousness today. Yesterday was a hard day. I rarely have those types of days anymore and am grateful it only lasted for one day.

Grateful the tax task has been started, grateful I was able to be of service to my friend, and grateful for the melting that is happening today.

Got a text from the window installers at 6:45 this morning asking if we had snow falling. It woke me up. I answered it was lightly snowing and we had less than an inch. No response.

The installers showed up a little before 9:00. The person that had texted had never read my response. Needless to say they were unable to install the remaining two windows as by 9:00 we had a couple inches of snow. They came inside and changed out the hardware on the windows. They had been installed with the wrong color. They also finished installing the handles so the windows can be opened and closed easier.

They unloaded the two remaining windows into the garage and will return another day when there is no snow to install them. Makes me wonder why he texted if he wasn’t going to take my word for it. Oh well, the round trip from Manhattan is on them and not me.

I had to pay them for most of the cost of the windows today. I am struggling to get an invoice from them that I can send to my insurance guy. It will get figured out – sooner or later.

Not sure if it is the snow or if I was worn out from yesterday but I am tired today. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I have taken two short naps in my chair today and still feel tired. I am just on this side of my last nerve so am grateful for a quiet day at home. One of those days that nothing feels easy for me.

I went to the website they gave me to register the windows and the link was broken. I had to call them and was able to do it over the phone. The guy that took the information seemed competent and I got an email confirmation that the windows are registered. Grateful that got done.

I have a list of people I need to call today. I need to schedule an oil change, get an appointment to balance my tires, call the heating company about Ellexia’s cold bedroom, check with my plumber about the booster pump and call the glass company about a broken window at Michelle’s house. Don’t have the energy to make any of those calls right now. Maybe later this afternoon or Monday I will be able to make them. If I run into a snag of any sort calling them, I feel like I might snap and it isn’t worth it. All can wait till a better day.

KU Research Program sent me about 10 surveys I had to answer. The last one I ran into a bit of struggle with as when I would answer one question, it would erase my answer from the question above it. I finally had to adjust my answers to get it to take the answer. I couldn’t answer all of them with the same rating. Oh well, it got done.

The snow is beautiful. We have gotten several inches of it. There has been no wind to blow it around. It looks heavy and wet. We need the moisture so am grateful for that. I will have to go down to take care of the chickens in a bit so will get to walk through it. We are still getting little flurries now and then. The forecast is calling for a wintery mix for the next several days. Next Monday night and into Tuesday we have high chances for lots more snow. Betting my trip to KC next Tuesday will get postponed.

One day soon I will need to get my second shingles shot scheduled. I want to make sure I have two or three free days afterwards in case I react like I did last time. I will wait to schedule it until I know for sure when I go back to KC. This visit is the one where they measure my exercise ability and I will need all the strength I have for that day.

No plans for the weekend. With this weather I am grateful I can stay tucked in at home and not get out. Next Wednesday looks like it will be clear but if we get lots of snow on Tuesday it may not be a good day to get out either. I’m grateful I am content to stay home for long periods of time.

Just one of those days where it is best that I keep myself in time-out and limit my interactions with others. I haven’t had a day like this is a long time. Guessing I wore myself out yesterday with all the brain testing and a second drive to KC in less than a week. I’m sure by tomorrow I will have my energy back and all will be well again.

Grateful for the beauty of the snow on the prairie, grateful for this quiet day at home, and grateful all is well!

Just got home from KC. I left this morning at 9:30 and got home a little before 6:00. It feels like it has been a long day. My brain is tired.

The first hour of the visit was going over the consent form. I think it was 20 pages long. Then the lady went over my medication list, Covid immunization record, and gave me a debit card loaded with $50 from today’s pay out. When I go back for the MRI and the physical testing part they will add more to it. I filled my car with gas and had lunch and spent $50 so broke even for today.

I then spent two hours with the lady that tested my brain. I did lots of different mental exercises such as hit the button of the color of the ink when a word popped up on the screen. It might say blue but if it is was in red ink I was to hit red. That took some focus and concentration. She did about 20 of games like that with me. The one I had the most trouble with was the one that had flat shapes that folded up into a thingy and you had to guess which thingy matched the flat shapes. Not my strength! She gave me a list of 12 things verbally that I had to recall afterwards. She repeated it twice to see if I could remember more of them and then 10 minutes later asked me again to recall the things. Then 20 minutes later she had a list of 24 things that I had to recall if they were on the original list or not.

My brain is tired tonight! I haven’t used it that much for a long time. There is a chance that I didn’t score high enough to proceed with the program. If so, they will call me by Monday to let me know. No news is good news and they don’t share the results with me otherwise. I will repeat this testing six months into the program and again at the end of the program.

Both ladies were easy to visit with and positive people to be around. I had a good conversation with her mental testing lady especially. She really put me at ease. She told me to offer myself grace throughout the process and if I mess up to not let it mess with me. My word for the year is Grace so that helped ease my anxiety. I know how to do Grace.

I was proud of myself for going with the flow and not getting worked up when I would miss one of the answers by hitting the wrong button. I never got stressed out or worked up and was able to stay above neutral on the consciousness scale even when I was doing the part that was hard for me. I’m tired tonight but not energy depleted.

I talked to them about my appointment for next week and what I can do if the weather is bad. We are going to visit Monday and make a decision but if it is bad they will reschedule the two appointments. Fingers crossed I can get safely to KC but good to have a backup plan just in case.

They told me they hope to start the actual exercise program the end of January or the first week of February. They have four other people from Emporia they are working up and we all should be done with the initial testing by the middle of January.

Afterwards I went to Chipotle for lunch and then made a quick stop at Costco for chicken tenders. They finally had some. Got them and got out of there. Parking was at a premium again although inside the store it didn’t feel as busy as it had been last week.

Drove home and stopped at Michelle’s for a hot minute to pick up something and then came home. I was chasing daylight as I thought I was going to have to do chickens but Kathy had taken care of them for me. I’m grateful I didn’t have to do them in the dark.

Got a message from the window people and they are coming tomorrow to install the last two windows. They wanted to get them in before the snow flies. It will be good to get that project wrapped up. I got a bill from them but am going to have to ask them to rewrite the bill if possible so I can submit it for final payment from the insurance company. I don’t like the way it was worded.

No plans until next Tuesday when I am to go back to KC. We shall see what Mr. Winter is going to do and what the weather is like this weekend and into next week. Sounds like we are in for a winter storm or two. Grateful the roads were dry and clear for today’s visit.

It will be good to go to bed tonight. I didn’t sleep much last night. I think I took too long of a nap yesterday and I couldn’t sleep in this morning. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight.

Grateful this part of the testing is over with, grateful I was able to have fun with it and stress over it, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

Woke up to a winter wonderland outside. We had a heavy fog that covered everything with ice crystals. The sun broke through and it was absolutely beautiful. Grateful I didn’t have to drive in the thick fog.

By the time I went to Emporia late morning, the fog was starting to lift. It was heavy in the low places on the highway but not too bad. I was surprised how many trucks and cars didn’t have their headlights on.

Went through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. Stopped at the bank downtown to deposit a check and then stopped at the grocery store downtown to get a bag of ice. Came home after that.

I came home really tired so ate some lunch and took a long winter’s nap. I have to get up in the morning by 8:00 so hoping I can get to sleep tonight at a decent time. I have to be in KC at 11:30 so will leave a little after 9:30.

I can’t think of anything I need in KC so will come home after my appointment is over. I’ll probably stop for lunch somewhere and then drive home. The forecast for tomorrow looks good so should be good to go.

No plans for the weekend. I have to go back to KC Tuesday and am going to talk to them about that tomorrow. The forecast for Tuesday is calling for 5 – 6 inches of snow in KC that is to fall Monday night and into Tuesday. Not sure I want to drive in that. I’ll see what they say my options are.

My get up and go got up and left the station without me today. Haven’t had any motivation to do anything today. Yesterday was productive but not so much today.

I was sitting in my chair a while ago and the sun was shining in my eyes. I finally remembered I could lower the shades and presto – no sun in my face. I lowered them overnight to help keep the house warmer and had raised them all this morning. Nice to be able to block out the afternoon sun.

I had forgotten to lower the ones in my bedroom last night so the morning sun woke me up this morning. I may have to put a reminder on my phone so I lower the blinds before I go to bed.

It warmed up into the low 40’s today and it was a rare day without much wind. It was really nice walking down to take care of the chickens. I wish the whole winter could be like this but there is a cold front on the way and things will change over the weekend.

This is one of those days where at the end of it I wonder what in the world I did all day. Other than the trip to town and taking care of the chickens, I can’t think of a thing I have done. Just not in the mood today to do anything. Grateful I have the luxury to take a quiet day and “be”.

Grateful for the winter beauty this morning, grateful I didn’t have to drive in the worst of it, and grateful I can take a day and do nothing.

It has been a productive day on the prairie. The couple that owns Made In the Shade came and hung the new shades today. It only took them a little over an hour to hang them. You can tell they have done this hundreds of times. I think I like them. I will have to use them for a bit to get used to them. The ones in the living room and dining room have a remote control to raise and lower them. I need to use it several times so I don’t forget how to work it.

I vacuumed the steps today. That is not my favorite job to do and I put it off way too long. Kathy’s cat likes to sit on the steps and leaves behind lots of cat hair. It took me a bit to get each step as free of cat hair as possible. I need to put a reminder on my calendar so I do them more often. I don’t go downstairs very often and forget about them.

Got some paperwork that had been on my desk for a couple of days taken care of today. The tax preparation folder came in late last week so will start gathering information for my 2023 income taxes. I like to get that done as soon as possible and get it to the tax accountant as early as possible. My tax forms won’t come in the mail until the end of the month so will have to wait for those to come in.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. The sun is shining and the wind is calm. It is to reach the low 40’s later this afternoon. I don’t mind doing chicken chores when the weather is like this. We are in for a change though with a major storm coming in Thursday evening and into Friday. Hope it doesn’t arrive until after I get home from KC Thursday afternoon. Next Tuesday is looking a bit iffy weather wise. Hope the forecast changes and that day is dry as I have to go back to KC then.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia to go to the Chiropractor and get a few groceries. I have a couple of letters that need to be mailed so will go by the post office and drop those off. I have a few items to drop off at Goodwill so will get those dropped off. Trying to find some more things to add to the pile so it is worth stopping and dropping things off.

I called my Aunt to wish her a happy birthday. I was a date late but we had a good conversation. I changed the date on my calendar so I won’t be a day off next year. It is always nice to talk to her and get caught up on what is happening in the family. She is amazing and still lives alone and does too much for others. My two remaining aunts are a special treasure for me.

No plans for the weekend. It is to turn cold and we have a chance for some precipitation. It will be good to stay tucked in at home. Next Tuesday I have to go back to KC so trusting I can make it. The 13th is my Five Wishes Workshop in the afternoon. Trusting some people are able to make it and we can have a good conversation around final wishes and get a good start on getting those wishes documented. All are welcome to come and get started on making your living will.

Still sitting a rung or two or three above neutral on the consciousness scale. It feels good to stay out of the muck pond and get some things done. The empty space ahead of me right now feels like a gift to myself. Some days it feels overwhelming but today it feels more like a gift.

Grateful for my Aunt and the conversation I had with her today, grateful the shades are installed, and grateful for an empty afternoon ahead for me.

Happy New Year to one and all. May this year bring peace, calm, joy and love to all.

The sun is shining on the prairie this afternoon and it warmed up to 40. It is a beautiful start to the New Year. Sure wished it would stay like this the rest of the winter.

I went to a friend’s house for some black eyed peas and cornbread this afternoon. It was delicious and the conversation was wonderful. My favorite thing to do is gather with like-minded friends.

The girls gave me 14 eggs today – go girls! The rooster thought about coming after me as I was leaving the pen. He got close to walking out the door but turned around at the last minute. Maybe he learned his lesson the other day.

I dug out my daily/weekly/monthly checklist from a year ago and am going to give it another try. I really need to establish a better routine for myself this year. I am hoping this will give me a good foundation to build on. I waste too much time and there are too many times when I can’t remember what needs to be done. I do feel better when I am a bit productive each day. Doing a little each day keeps things from piling up on me and then I get overwhelmed.

Tomorrow the shade lady is coming to do the install of all the new shades. It will be good to get those up. I am sitting in my chair in the corner of the living room and have to keep moving my chair to get out of the direct sunlight so I can see my screen. I am hoping the new shades will help reduce the amount of propane I use to heat the house.

Wednesday I will need to go to Emporia and get a few groceries and go to the Chiropractor. Thursday I am going to KC for the KU Research program testing. No plans for the weekend.

I have lots of empty space time on my calendar right now. I have a little project or two to work on when the mood strikes. However, I am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of empty space. Sure hope the exercise program can get started soon rather than later and give me something to do each day.

The lady that coordinates the income tax program that I volunteered for several years ago called and requested I help out this year. I am still sitting with that to decide if I want to do so or not. Last year I dropped out after not being able to pass the test. I was in a very different state of mind last year than I am this year and it feels possible for me this year. I will continue to sit with it and make a decision when I know which way I want to go. It would put something on my calendar.

I’ve been able to maintain a level or two above neutral on the consciousness scale. When I’m not around people too much it is easier for me to do so. My challenge to myself is to be around people more during 2024 and still be able to maintain my level.

Grateful for friends to gather with, grateful for an abundance of eggs, and grateful for empty space to fill with whatever my heart desires.

The last time i write 2023. What a year this has been. It started with me in a deep hole but I have managed to climb out of the hole and gain lots of altitude throughout the year. Not a year I want to repeat, but am grateful for all those that pushed me, pulled me, and were by my side every step of the way.

It has been a lazy day on the prairie for me. I took a chair nap after I had breakfast. I seem to sleep better in my chair, than I do in my bed.

It is another cloudy, windy day on the prairie. I sure enjoyed the sunshine and warmer temperatures yesterday. The forecast for the week isn’t looking like it will warm up again anytime soon. So far Thursday looks dry. I trust it will stay that way.

No plans for the evening. I might watch a bit of the New Year’s Eve show from NYC but I may not. I rarely stay up until midnight unless I can’t sleep. After taking a long nap today that might be the case today.. A friend invited me over for black eyed peas tomorrow so will probably go in and enjoy those. I can use all the luck I can get.

Tuesday the shade lady is coming to install the new shades and Thursday I go back to KC. Wednesday I will need to go into Emporia and go to the Chiropractor and take care of any errands that come up between now and then.

I’m grateful the New Year begins tomorrow. December has felt like it has been 90 days long. Time usually flies by for me but sure feels like it has slowed way down lately. I am out of my normal rhythm and routine. Trusting it will return and things will feel normal again.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I do choose a word for the year that guides my intentions throughout the year. This year my word is Grace. I had discovered how important it is to offer myself Grace when things don’t go the way I wanted them to do. Offering myself grace allows for my humanness to do its thing and breaks my addiction to perfection. My self talk has changed as a result and I want to continue that practice into 2024.

When Jim first left the house in November, 2022, my therapist recommended that I learn to offer myself Grace. It felt so foreign to me at the time but I have really come to appreciate the value of it. The only person that can really take care of me is myself.

Grateful for chair naps on cloudy, cold winter days, grateful for a New Year coming and New beginnings, and grateful December is finally over.

Just got home from my KC trip. I went to Costco first thing when I got to KC. I have never seen that store so busy. Had to drive around to find a parking spot and wait for someone to pull out. Inside was busy – they needed traffic cops so you could enter the main areas of the store with your cart.

They were out of chicken tenders – again! Not sure why they can’t keep those in stock. They didn’t have any roasted chickens either. Got everything else on my list though. I allowed an extra 30 minutes to check out as the line was ten deep at one point. But when I got up there it was only three deep and it didn’t take long to get checked out.

Stopped at their gas station and filled the car up with gas. For some reason gas in Emporia was as cheap as Costco gas today. Usually Costco is 20 to 40 cents a gallon cheaper.

Met Nicole and Geoff for an early dinner. The restaurant was surprisingly busy considering we met around 4:00. Service and food were both excellent and the company even better. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kiddos.

Went to my friend’s retirement party. I managed to find it without getting lost. I didn’t stay long but it was important that I pop in for a bit. The older I get, the more I appreciate my friends and feel it is important to support them when they have a major life accomplishment.

Drove home after my quick stop at the party. Traffic was heavy most of the way to and from. It was manageable in the city and I never did have to slow down much but never could put my lights on bright. Saw lots of dead animals on the side of the road on the way to KC today. Didn’t notice them on the way home as it was too dark.

Got my car unloaded from my Costco haul. I always find things I didn’t know I needed when I go there. It is probably a good thing the nearest Costco is 75 miles away. I do like shopping there.

Tomorrow the only thing I have on my to-do list is watch the Chief’s game in the afternoon. Sure hope they play better than they did a week ago.

Tuesday the lady is coming to install the new blinds. I sure hope I like them. There were way too many choices of patterns and colors to choose from and I can’t even remember which one I chose.

I get to go back to KC Thursday for my first KU Research program visit. It is scheduled to take up to four hours to complete all the testing they are doing that day. May not get anything else done that trip but we shall see. Can’t think of anything I need to shop for but maybe something will come up before then.

One day next week I will have to go into Emporia to go to the Chiropractor and pick up a few groceries. It looks like I will get a couple of stay at home days in this week – those are my favorite days of the week.

Still holding myself a step or two or three above the neutral level on the consciousness chart. I handled being in the crowded store really well and didn’t get frustrated with traffic. I will call that a win! Usually going to the city wears me out and drains me but I don’t feel drained tonight. We shall see how well I do when I have to go back in less than a week.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful to get to spend time with a dear friend and his family, and grateful to have dinner with Nicole and Geoff.

Went to bed early last night and woke up early. Fell back to sleep in my chair mid morning and slept for another hour. Finally feel rested.

Took a letter to the post office in Strong City to mail. I had meant to put it in my mailbox to go out yesterday and forgot so had to drive it to town. Stopped and had lunch on the way home. When I walked out of the restaurant after lunch, I realized I had on my slippers. Wonder if anyone noticed?

Called the window people to request that the final invoice be separated between the windows on the west and north side of the house and the windows on the east side. I have to submit to insurance the bill for the west and north windows. The window people will bill after the final two windows get installed mid month and told me they could split up the bill.

Called the insurance adjuster and left a message. I need to ask how to request an extension of the six months repair time. The siding of the house will not repaired until spring and the guttering and painting can’t be done until the siding gets repaired. I hope he calls back and lets me know how to request the extension. I want it in writing and not just verbally given. Not that I don’t trust the insurance company but some things have gone down differently than he said they would and I need it in writing.

Saw on Facebook where the son of a friend died unexpectedly this week. Another reminder that death happens when we least expect it to sometimes. I immediately wondered if his family had discussed the what if’s. Every time I hear of an untimely death, I know the work I am doing to help people make their final wishes known, is important work.

Tomorrow I am going to KC. Going to make a stop at Costco and then am meeting Nicole and Geoff for an early dinner. After dinner I am going to a friend’s retirement party and then will drive home. The weather forecast looks good for tomorrow. It will be good to see Nicole and Geoff for a hot minute and to see my friend and celebrate with him and his family.

No plans for New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day. I will watch the Chiefs game on Sunday. Hoping it is a better game than the one on Christmas Day was.

Tuesday the new shades will be installed and Thursday I have to go back to KC for the first of three appointments for the KU Research Exercise program. I haven’t checked the weather forecast for that day but crossing my fingers it is good. If it is looking iffy, I will go up the night before and not take chances. I don’t like driving on slick, wet roads any more.

One year ago today my divorce from Jim was final. I remember the relief that I felt that day knowing it was over. It is hard to look back and see how dark everything felt a year ago . I think I was living in the muck pond most of the last year I was with Jim. It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong and to realize I couldn’t fix it or change it.

I woke up this morning feeling lighter than I have for a long time. That pit in my stomach is gone and anything feels possible again. I am proud of how far I have come this last year. I rarely fall into the muck pond now and if I do, it is a short mud bath and I am right back out again. It feels like I have climbed up another step on the consciousness ladder of emotions and feelings.

Grateful for sleep and feeling rested, grateful Nicole and Geoff can meet up with me tomorrow, and grateful a year has passed and I am back to being fully and completely myself again.

It was not a good night for sleep last night. Didn’t fall asleep until almost 1:00 and then woke up at 3:00 and never did go back to sleep. Finally got up at 4:30 and started my day.

I got most of the kitchen cabinets cleaned out and new shelf liner put down in the cabinets that needed it. Feels good to get that job taken care of. I found some things to donate and did some rearranging so hoping I can find things easier.

Cody came out for the day around 8:15. He has been really good for me today. He was sick for several weeks before Christmas and still seems a bit quieter than his normal. I’m glad he came to spend the day with me.

The lady I ordered my blinds/shades from called to tell me the shades came in today. She is coming next Tuesday to install them. I sure hope I like them. I am pleased they will be up soon. When the sun shines (I think I remember that) the light is rather intense in the living room and it will be good to block some of it. I am hoping they will help with reducing utility costs too.

The window guys let me know the two back ordered windows are due in next week. They will need a week to prep them and then they should be out no later than the middle of January to install them. I’m anxious to get that bill to the insurance adjuster to see how much they are going to pay.

I’m going to KC Saturday to go to a retirement party for a friend. I think I will go up a bit early and go to Costco first. The party is a come and go and starts at 5:00. I’ll pop in for a bit and then head back home. I have to go back to KC January 4 for my first KU visit for the exercise program. I go back yet again on January 9 for the second and third round of tests. Lots of trips to KC in the next two weeks.

Sometime after January 10, I need to remember to schedule my second Shingles shot. I’ll have to make the appointment when I have a free day or two afterwards in case I react like I did with the first one. Luckily I was only down for one day afterwards. It will be good to get that over with. Still debating about the Hepatitis series. I’m not a high risk unless I decide to do some international travel over the next year or two.

I finally got the Sirius reset on my car radio. I was having trouble getting the reset signal to go through but it finally worked yesterday. Not sure what I was doing wrong but grateful it finally worked.

Got the heat lamp bulb replaced in the dog crate. When I came back up from doing the chicken chores the cat was lying underneath the heat of the lamp. She enjoys heat and will enjoy having the heat lamp going again. They have a heated pad in the big dog house that Roxy and the cat share. Roxy won’t let Sophia in the dog house so Sophia has to make do with a rug on the floor of the garage.

Feeling more and more grounded and settled. It will be good to have the New Year come with all the possibilities it brings. I am in a much better space this year and really feel like 2024 will bring lots of great things for me.

Grateful to have had a play day with Cody, grateful the shades will be installed next week, and grateful for new beginnings.

Went to Emporia this morning to go to the Chiropractor. Stopped and got my car washed on the way through town. Not sure it does much good to wash my car as the gravel roads are muddy right now but it was clean for a hot minute.

After the Chiropractor I went to the Vet and got flea and tick meds for the dogs and cat. I forgot to get HeartGuard so will have to go back another day for that. Forgetting something seems to be my theme of the day.

Next stop was Walmart. I needed a birthday card and shelf lining paper. I got the shelf lining paper and forgot the birthday card. I was at the stop light to turn on the highway when I remembered the card so turned around and went back in to get the card.

Came home and warmed up. That wind is brutal today!

Did the chicken chores. The rooster gave me the evil eye today but left me alone. The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, windy day.

Loaded the car with the recycling and took it to Cottonwood Falls. The dumpster was gone so went back to Strong City and stopped at Clarks and paid my plumbing bill. Yikes! It was as bad as I was afraid it was going to be. Went back to Cottonwood Falls and the recycling trailer was just getting parked. Dumped a big load and then came home.

Time to tuck in and stay home for a bit. The sun has broken through the clouds this afternoon but it sure hasn’t warmed up much. The snow is pretty much all gone except for the hidden places. It is to warm up a bit for the next couple of days but not get much over 45.

The full moon broke through the clouds a couple times last night. One time during the night I woke up and it was so light outside I thought my clock was wrong. It was beautiful shining on the prairie and casting moon shadows on the hills.

Tomorrow Cody is coming out to play with me. Ellexia told me she would come too but we haven’t figured out if she still wants to come and if so, how she is going to get out here. I doubt that she comes. Friday is a free day and Saturday I am going to KC for a retirement party for a dear friend. I will spend New Year’s Eve tucked inside at home. I rarely stay up until midnight unless I can’t sleep.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon but the pit in my stomach seems to be gone – or at least is quiet right now. I remember a year ago I was staying at my dear neighbor’s garage apartment and Nicole was here at the house. It was a hard time for me but I was wrapped in so much love and support that it made it much easier. It was a huge relief that all of Jim’s stuff was getting removed from the house and I could start 2023 off with a fresh start.

Grateful my errands got taken care of today, grateful for the 12 eggs my girls gave me today, and grateful for the love and support of my friends and family a year ago.

The rooster was back in the coop with the girls when I went down this afternoon. Not sure how he figured out how to get back in and not sure I am glad or not. He had to fly over the fence. There are small openings around the coop that doesn’t have fencing over the top. He might be smarter than I give him credit for. He completely avoided me today. Maybe he learned his lesson. Not going to hold my breath!

The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, snowy day. We got enough snow to cover the ground but as it warmed up this afternoon, most of it has melted away already although it continues to snow off and on. This is the type of snow I like – beautiful to watch come down and then it melts away quickly.

Got the Chex Mix made today. Now when the grandkids request some, I have it ready to go. I may see them Thursday when I watch Cody. They like to come out and play with him. We shall see what the roads are like and if they come or not.

Kathy got brave and went to Emporia today. She said the roads were OK. I need to go in tomorrow and go to the Chiropractor and then I need to stop at the Vet and get the dogs and cat their quarterly meds. Not sure I need any groceries.

I also need to go to Strong City and dump recycling and stop at Clarks and check on the bill for repairing the rental house’s sewer pipe. I haven’t gotten a bill yet and not sure how that works with them. I also need a couple of heat lamp bulbs – one for the dogs and one for the chickens when it gets really cold.

I got my Christmas decorations put away. All I had out were the Christmas cards people had sent me so it took me a whole minute to clean that up. So grateful I didn’t put a tree up this year and have to take it down. I don’t enjoy taking decorations off the tree – don’t really enjoy putting them on either but that is easier than taking them off.

Got two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away today. Took the trash down although I am not sure if they are picking it up tomorrow or Thursday. The mail wasn’t here yet when I went down with the trash. The mail carrier must be dodging high water spots on the country roads.

Anyone else confused as to what day of the week it is? Today feels like Monday to me with the holiday yesterday. It will be screwed up again next week too with January 1 on a Monday. One of these days I will get oriented as to day of week. Hope I have it figured out before I do my memory test with KU in January. One of the questions they usually ask is what day of the week and month is it. I have a hard time keeping that straight these days. Hazard of being retired – everyday is about the same and I don’t have to watch a calendar much.

Still feeling that pit in my stomach but it has gotten smaller and less noticeable. I’m still struggling with sticking with anything for very long and can’t seem to remember what needs to be done. Still trusting that it will all be better after the 29th which is the day my divorce was final a year ago. Holding body memories from that time last year when I was in a state of shock and had fallen far down the rabbit hole. It is amazing how far I have come in one year and trust I will continue to climb even higher.

Grateful (I guess) that the rooster made his way home last night, grateful for the moisture on the prairie, and grateful for the beautiful snow that is falling (especially since it is melting quickly).

Merry Christmas to one and all, if you celebrate. It has been a quiet day at home for me. The cold front came in and brought a bit of snow to the prairie. Not enough to cover the ground but there was a little bit of snow piled up on the deck this morning. Close enough to call it a White Christmas? Maybe!

I put some chili and a corn and ham chowder in crock pots this morning that I had fixed last night. Kathy and I have eaten on it all day. Jason came out to watch the football game with me and ate some of both and took some home with him. I love days like this – quiet, at home, hot soup to eat on and a football game on the TV. Too bad it wasn’t a good game for the Chiefs.

When I went down to do chicken chores the rooster came after me as I was leaving the coop. He followed me out the gate. I tried to get him to go back in but he wouldn’t go in. I shall see how this works out for him tonight. I wouldn’t be too sad if the coyotes decide to have him for a Christmas treat. I do not tolerate misbehavior in my chicken coop and that guy has come after me three times now. That is my limit! Maybe if he survives the night outside, he will behave himself if he decides to go back in.

The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, windy day. It sure wouldn’t feel so cold if the wind wasn’t blowing so hard. It is 25 out but we have a wind chill of 13. That is way too cold for my liking. Not going to warm up much this whole week.

No plans for this week except Thursday when Cody is going to come out to play for the day. Saturday I am going to KC for a retirement party for a dear friend. I will go to town one day to go the Chiropractor and pick up a few groceries.

I told Kathy this morning that it will take me one whole minute to take down my Christmas decorations. The only Christmas stuff I have out is the Christmas cards I received this year. I will read them all one more time and take them down and then Christmas will officially be over. It was a relatively stress free Christmas for me this year. I look forward to the New Year. December has lasted a long time for me this year.

Feeling a bit down this afternoon. It has been rainy, cloudy and dark outside all day. The sound of the wind has been noticeable most of last night and most of the day. It wears me out after a while. I need a sunny day but it is that time of year where sunny days are rare and few and far between.

Grateful Jason came out today to spend some time with me, grateful for hot soup on a cold day, and grateful Christmas is over for the year.

Woke up thinking about the soups I am going to make for tomorrow and realized I hadn’t gotten a few of the ingredients I will need. I got dressed and went to Emporia to pick them up. I decided to go to Good’s instead of Walmart as Walmart seems to be out of the things I need these days. Good’s had everything I needed and wasn’t busy. I paid for what I got and came home.

I was feeling a bit off this morning. I ate some breakfast and got really tired so I went back to bed and slept a couple more hours. Woke up feeling rested for the first time in several days. Naps on rainy days are the best!

The rain woke me up a couple times last night. Don’t think we got more than an inch but every drop was welcomed.

The temperature has already dropped from a high of 58 down to 45 and is only going to continue to drop. There is a rather stiff wind that is shifting to the north. The high for tomorrow is only going to be 37. We have a chance for some snow overnight and during the day tomorrow. The cold front is coming in and is going to hang around most of the week.

The girls gave me 10 very dirty eggs today. I need to find a chicken trainer that can teach them how to wipe their feet before they get in the nesting boxes. Grateful they are still laying right now.

Haven’t gotten much done again today. I am going to make the two soups for tomorrow tonight. That way all I have to do in the morning is set them to cook in the crock pots and lunch will be ready if anyone comes to share. If we get ice and snow I doubt anyone can come. Kathy and I will enjoy them regardless.

Still haven’t made the Chex Mix. I was kinda waiting to see if anyone was going to be able to make it tomorrow. I may get the urge to make it yet tonight – we shall see. Not feeling too motivated to do much today.

I haven’t found my Christmas spirit this year but that is OK. I like being able to be authentic with myself and not force something that isn’t there. It has been a relatively stress free Christmas and I will take that as a win for the season. I am ready for January 1 and all the possibilities and potential that a New Year brings.

My word for 2024 is Grace. I finally learned this year how to offer myself Grace and want to continue that practice for 2024. I find myself talking much more gently with myself and allowing myself to have hard moments without feeling shame or blame. Life is a constant balancing of the good with the bad. For way too many years, I struggle to accept my hard feelings and would stuff them or try to make them go away. I am grateful I have learned how to allow them to surface and to honor them. Grace allows me to continue doing that.

Grateful I remembered what I need for the soup early so I could get it before the stores got too busy, grateful for Grace and the peace it brings, and grateful for rainy day naps.

Went to Emporia a little after noon. I met Jason, Melissa, Michelle and Tagen for lunch at Bruff’s. I was craving some time with my kiddos and sent them a text to invite them to join me for lunch and to my surprise they were all available. We had a delightful time visiting for an hour or so. That satisfied an itch I had to see my kids.

Stopped at Walmart afterwards to pick up my grocery order. They were out of Corn Chex, Rice Chex, cottage cheese and butter. Sometimes I scratch my head wondering how they run out of things like this.

I went to Good’s and they had all four items Walmart had been out of, so got those and came home. Traffic was heavy in town and on the highway. I think I get to stay home now for the next couple of days.

It took me a bit to get everything unloaded and put away. I got a bigger grocery order than I normally get today as I want to make a batch of Chex Mix again and got some things to make two kinds of soup for Christmas Day. The kids might come out to watch the football game and eat soup with me Christmas Day.

I am doing laundry today and need to go down and take care of the chickens when I get done blogging. It is lightly misting but it is 56 out so doesn’t feel too cold. By Christmas the high is only going to be 38 so a cold front will be moving in. The high is to be in the mid 30’s all week next week. Yuck! I kinda like the mid 50’s better.

We have a 70% chance of precipitation on Christmas Day and it may come as ice or snow or rain. Crossing my fingers for all the travelers that day that we get rain and nothing freezing.

When I get the chickens done I want to get one more room detailed clean today. Not sure which one I will do next as I have many to choose from. If I keep working at it and clean a room everyday or so, before I know it, the whole house will be clean. I look forward to that.

I tried to reset my Sirius radio in my car today but didn’t have any luck. I’ll have to try again another day. Hopefully I can get it reset without having to call them. Not sure why it didn’t reset today. I was in town so maybe I need to be home with better internet. I managed to fix my Sonos system’s connection to Sirius earlier this week with no issue.

Typed up some of the pages I need to have done for the Last Wishes Workshop I am hosting January 13. I still have a couple more pages to write up and copy. It will be good to have those done and ready. I need to sent out an email invitation to invite those that are not on Facebook. I forget not all the world does Facebook. The problem with Facebook is you don’t always see everyone’s posts. They seem to select what you get to see and unless you go looking it is easy to miss someone’s posts.

After seeing the kids today, the knot in my stomach quieted down a bit. It is still there but has moved to the background of my consciousness. Sure trusting that after the 29th, it will disappear completely. I’ve felt a bit disconnected from others the last couple of days. I know it is body memories of last year when I felt so very alone and sad. And this too shall pass…..

Grateful the kiddos could join me for lunch today, grateful to find the out of stock items at another store, and grateful it is almost a New Year.

We had a beautiful Winter Solstice gathering last night. Seven of us gathered to celebrate the return of the light and to relax and rest in the darkest day of the year. What a privilege and honor it is to gather with these friends.

Got up this morning and made some no bake cookies. Took some of them to a friend this morning and dropped them off. Took the rest of them to my aunt in Wichita.

Kathy and I went to Wichita and had lunch at Chipotle and then went to the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair. Lunch was a bit of a disappointment to me. The food tasted very salty today for some reason. I like salty food but not this one. This has never happened before at Chipotle and trust it won’t again.

The Spirit Fair was about what I expected. It was a bit smaller than I guessed it might be but was full of a variety of vendors selling stones, hand made soaps, jewelry, candles, etc. They had several people doing readings of various kinds and someone doing sound healings. It didn’t take long to walk through it all and see what they had to offer. Neither one of us found anything of enough interest that we bought anything.

We stopped at our Aunt’s house to drop off the cookies. She wasn’t home so I put the cookies by the front door and we headed home. It felt like it was a long drive home but we got here safe and sound. Traffic was heavier than normal but manageable. It was good to get home.

No plans for the rest of the day. I feel rather tired so may go take a nap after I take care of the chickens. I don’t have to get up early tomorrow so could stay up late tonight if I take a nap. We shall see what happens.

Tomorrow I am picking up a Walmart grocery order at 2:00. After that I will tuck myself in my house and stay in until after Christmas. It will be nice to have a couple of quiet days at home.

We got some rain overnight. My Tempest station is only showing we got less than half an inch. It isn’t always accurate though. There is water in the puddles on the road and in my back yard. That usually doesn’t happen unless we get at least an inch. Grateful for every drop we got. I’ll have to wear my muck boots down to do chickens later.

It has been a mostly cloudy, foggy type of day. The sun tried to break through on the way home but didn’t quite make it. The fog was rather dense when we left home this morning. It seems to be returning this afternoon. It is in the mid 50’s which is nice as you know the roads don’t have black ice on them.

Next week I am watching Cody for one day but don’t have much else on my calendar. I will continue to avoid the stores due to the after Christmas crowds. It will be good to get back to normal shopping conditions the following week. Next Saturday I am driving to KC to attend a friend’s retirement party. I will be making three trips to KC over the next couple of weeks to take care of the exercise programs requirements. Trusting this nice weather will continue.

Got the bill to renew my car insurance for mid January. I need to call them and tell them thanks but no thanks. If they don’t want to insure my house, they don’t get to insure my car. I have a reminder on my calendar to go in to pay for the new house and car insurance with the new company the middle of January.

Having trouble keeping my eyes open so think I will go lay down for a bit. I will take sleep whenever it finds me and it feels like I could fall asleep rather quickly right now. Feeling a bit out of sorts and know a nap would help that too.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful for a beautiful Winter Solstice Ceremony and conversation last night with my dear friends, and grateful for sleep whenever it finds me.

It was a bit of a short night. I took my bath around 9:00 and while in the bath got a text from Michelle. She needed to go to the ER as she was in a lot of pain. I quickly got out of the bath and got dressed and headed to town.

I picked her up and took her in. I sat out in the lobby while she went back. It is a humbling experience to see the traffic that comes and goes from the ER. Michelle finally got finished up around 3:00 and I took her home and then drove home. I’m grateful they were able to help Michelle with her pain levels.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. I gave up around 7:30 this morning and got up. One of those nights that it was hard to fall asleep and if I managed that, I wasn’t able to stay asleep.

Got the tall ladder out of the garage and got the very top of the kitchen cabinets washed and cleaned. Felt good to get that job done. I found lots of dust so it had been a while since it had last been done. Feels so good to have a very clean living room, dining room and kitchen.

I still need to clean the inside of all the kitchen cabinets but that little project will wait for another day. Most are not cluttered and just need wiped out and new shelf liner. I need to go to town in the next few days and will get new shelf liner so I can do that project.

I laid down for a nap this afternoon and managed to finally find a little over an hour of sleep. When I woke up it was lightly raining and it looks like it has been raining for a bit. So grateful for every drop the prairie can receive. It will be a muck boot type of walk down to the chickens in a bit.

Several friends are coming over this evening for a Winter Solstice gathering. That will be a wonderful time together. I treasure our time together and will enjoy this ceremony as my highlight of the Christmas season. It is incredible to me how many similarities there are between ancient rituals and the way Christians celebrate holidays.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to Wichita for the day. We will have lunch out and then go to the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair. I’m looking forward to a day out. I’ve never been to this Spirit Fair before so hoping it is worthwhile. It will be fun regardless.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I do want to go to the grocery store and get supplies to make the grandkids some more Chex Mix. Tagen told me they were running low on it and I have no more in the freezer. Trying to decide when I want to go to avoid the last minute Christmas shoppers. Maybe I will just do an on-line order and not go in the store. I need a birthday card for early January but that can wait a couple of days if it means avoiding lots of shoppers.

I have been off my eating plan for almost a month again. I decided to give myself some grace and not push myself until after the holidays. It has been a rough couple of weeks for myself with my restlessness and body memories. Sometimes when I try to push through something and do too much, it doesn’t go easy or well for me. Offering myself some grace and compassion can help a difficult time feel a bit easier. I will get back on the wagon when the time is right.

I still have the pit in my stomach and a faint bit of restlessness but it is getting better. Tonight’s ceremony will help ground me and settle things. As soon as Christmas passes and the 29th is over, I’m sure I will be back on track. So grateful I figured out what was behind my intense feelings.

I was looking for a Winter Solstice reading today to use for our ceremony tonight and found several I like. One said that it is wise to clean your house and personal space during the Winter Solstice time. It helps to reset the energy in your space and allow new things to flow in. Maybe that is why I have felt the inner urge to clean this week. It does feel fresh to have a really clean house that has been decluttered.

Grateful Michelle got some relief from her pain, grateful the main part of my house is cleaned, and grateful for the rain falling on the prairie today.

The end of this month is moving like molasses for me. It feels like we had our family Christmas about a month ago. Why isn’t it January already?

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Got up before 7:00 and fiddled around for a bit. Went back to bed around 9:30 and found a couple more hours of sleep. Hard to feel rested though when sleep is hard to find.

Have had trouble finding motivation to do much today. I have gotten about half of the kitchen detailed cleaned. Hoping I can get the other half done yet tonight. What I have gotten done looks good. I want the rest of the kitchen to look that good too.

I am going to do a Final Wishes Workshop on January 13 at 2:00 at my house. It will last about two hours. I will take you through the steps to complete the Five Wishes workbook and give you material to take home so you can write out your final wishes. We may or may not get to the point of completion depending on how quick of a decision maker you are. These things are important and it is more important to get them right for you than to rush through them. Cost is $25. Bring a friend or family member with you. Let me know if you can come so I can make sure to have enough supplies ready.

Feels good to get something on the calendar for next year and get My Hand in Yours started. Hoping to do a monthly workshop of some sort all year. I want to do my part in helping remove some of the fear around death and make death a topic that we can easily talk about. There is so much baggage around the topic of death and most people are terrified to even think of their own death.

The girls gave me 11 egg today. They like this warmer day although the wind is blowing and it doesn’t feel like it is in the mid 50’s. The clouds are rolling in and we have a good chance of getting some rain overnight and into tomorrow. I’ll take every drop we can get. Would be nice if it would rain all night and all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow night a small group of us are gathering to celebrate the Winter Solstice. I always look forward to our sacred ceremony and sharing time. The world would be a much better place for all if everyone had a safe space to share their inner feelings, thoughts and insecurities. We discover we are all more alike than we are different..

Kathy and I are going to Wichita Friday to go to the Spirit Fair. That will be a fun day out. We will probably eat out for lunch that day. Other than that, I have nothing else on my calendar until after Christmas. I will have a couple of quiet days at home through the Christmas weekend. Hope to get lots more cleaning done and start the New Year with a very clean house. Maybe next year I can keep it cleaner than I did this year.

Not feeling so restless today after discovering what it had to tell me. Still have a pit in my stomach that wants to hang around but I’m pretty sure that is body memory from last year’s chaos. It should go away by year’s end.

This is one of those days where I get overwhelmed by too much empty space on my calendar. I feel like I am wasting my life doing nothing. Cleaning is nice but seems rather pointless to keep repeating myself. And this too shall pass……

Grateful I managed to get a workshop on the calendar for net year, grateful for the 11 eggs the girls gave me today, and grateful to know that this too shall pass.

Sitting in an almost detail cleaned living room. Taking a break and then I will finish up the rest of it. Feels so good to have this room and the dining room clean. Kitchen is up for tomorrow.

Finally figured out what my restlessness is from. My divorce from Jim was official December 29 last year. A year ago we were in the final negotiations of the divorce and a date was being set for him to come clean out the rest of his stuff. My body seems to be remembering that time and how difficult it was for me. I am allowing these feelings to surface and be heard and to leave. Once I figured it out, they started to calm down. Can’t say it is all gone and probably won’t be until after the 29th but they are certainly easier to deal with knowing what they are.

I think another reason for my restlessness is that seven years ago today, my son-in-law Chris died. I will never forget the phone call from Nicole telling me what had happened. We had Christmas the day before and Chris seemed perfectly fine. Little did we know that a day later he would be dead. The days following were some of the most difficult days of our lives for my family. So grateful we were all able to process it, each in our own way. I don’t think the journey through it is ever over, but we all have found ways to integrate it into our beingness. Every time I see a rainbow, I think of Chris and am reminded he is still a part of our lives and is with us always.

When a loved one dies, the surviving family members have to make a decision at some point to continue living. Allowing joy back in after such tremendous grief is a huge challenge. It is one of the hardest decisions a grieving person ever has to make and it can only be made when the time is right. There is no timeline and each has to find their own way of choosing life and joy again. Sometimes it drips in drip by drip until you can step into life and begin to live fully again.

His death is the guiding force behind my interest in becoming a death doula and my desire to help others make their final wishes known to their loved ones. It is so helpful when a tragedy hits, to know what the person wanted as their last wishes. If I can make a difficult time easier for even one family, my mission will be worth it. If you haven’t made your final wishes and decisions and need help doing so, please reach out. I would love to hold your hand during that process and help you find a way that feels right for you to get your final wishes documented.

Christmas is a challenging time for me. I wasn’t a big fan of it before these things happened around Christmas time and these two major life changing events just added to my complicated feelings around Christmas. I am ever so grateful each year when the New Year’s rolls around and the holidays are over. I know I am not the only one with complicated feelings about Christmas. Reach out if you need some extra support and understanding. I hear you loud and clear and totally get it!

It is 50 out today but it is a touch windy and feels colder than that. It is to warm up to 60 by the weekend. We also have a chance for some rain this week. Crossing my fingers and toes that happens. We are still very dry and need every drop that can find us. The good news is it will come as rain and not ice or snow as it is so warm.

Thursday evening I will be celebrating Winter Solstice with a small group of friends. Friday Kathy and I are going to Wichita to attend the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair at the Cotillion. No plans for the weekend. It will be a quiet Christmas Day on the prairie. I’ll probably make a crock pot of soup and eat on it while I watch the Chiefs football game. If anyone is alone that day, come over and join me.

So grateful I figured out what the restlessness was from. I always feel a bit foolish when it takes me so long to figure it out. I know my body holds memories of major events and serves as a reminder to me of them. Not sure why it took me so long to remember that this time but grateful I did when I did. Once I can figure out what my body is trying to tell me, the feelings can be heard, acknowledged and then they leave.

Grateful for the two rooms that are detailed cleaned, grateful to have figured out the message from my restlessness, and grateful for Chris’s life and the love he shared with my family and the way he still is a part of our family.

Woke up at 4:00 this morning after going to bed after midnight. Finally got up and stayed up until 8:00 and then took a nap. Not feeling very rested today.

Went to Emporia this morning. I took the car through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. He doesn’t do appointments so you wait your turn. I got lucky and was the next one in line when I went in. Stopped at Walmart and checked on a prescription that my chart said was ready to pickup but it wasn’t. Got a bag of ice and then drove around and picked up my on-line grocery order. Stopped and got an iced tea from McDonald’s and then came home.

Got everything unloaded and put away. I didn’t need many groceries today so it was a light load day. When Tagen was here Sunday he noticed I didn’t have any snacks around anymore. I happened to have one more bag of Chex Mix in the freezer so dug that out and he munched on that all afternoon and then took it home with him.

Took the chickens some more straw. They had packed down what we had put in there yesterday. I’ll see tomorrow after they pack down this layer if they need more added or not. They gave me a dozen eggs today which is good for them right now. Somedays I am only getting 8.

Deep cleaned the dining room today. Washed all the woodwork, cleaned the light fixtures and did the floors. I am going to try to do one room a day for a bit and see how that works for me. I get overwhelmed thinking about cleaning the whole house and end up doing nothing. I’m working on making up a daily list of things I need to do so I get a bit more structure in my day. I forget what needs to be done unless I write it down or else get so overwhelmed thinking about everything that needs done that I can’t do anything. Maybe this will help.

If I would do one room a day I can get the whole house deep cleaned each month. Some things have to be done more often but once a room gets deep cleaned I know the dirt is only surface deep and doesn’t take long to clean. When I can’t remember when I last deep cleaned a room, it is hard to cheat and only do the surface stuff. My perfectionist tendencies come out and if I can’t do a job completely, it is easy for me to say screw it and not do it at all.

It is almost time to start pulling records out and to get ready to start preparing my income tax information. I like to get them done by February 1 and get them to the account so they have them to get to when they can. They have corporate tax records that have early February and Mach deadlines that they take care of first so they usually can’t get to them until late February or even early March. I would rather they have them and not be able to do them instead of waiting for me to bring them in.

I asked Tagen yesterday if he wanted to bring Ellexia out Wednesday and help me take care of Cody. He said he had school. I texted Jason and Melissa today and sure enough, Cody has school so I won’t get to play with him Wednesday. Maybe one day the following week he will get to come play. That frees up Wednesday for me. Not sure I have anything to do with the extra time but maybe I can get the kitchen deep cleaned that day. The kitchen takes the longest to do as I need to wipe down all the cabinets. I have lots of cabinets so that takes a long time.

The restlessness I have been feeling lately is slowly fading away. Cleaning a room today helped greatly. I have been sitting too much lately and I think my body was trying to tell me to move more. I’ll see if my new schedule helps. Still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the empty space time ahead for me. Hard for me to find balance sometimes and be OK with lots of empty space vs being productive and busy. Too much of either way is not comfortable for me.

Grateful one room is cleaned, grateful my body tells me what it needs, and grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie.

The chickens have fresh linens. Tagen came out for lunch and then at half time of the Chiefs game we went down and cleaned out the chicken coop. It was thick and smelly today but it was a perfect day to get it cleaned out. The girls will have fun rearranging the new straw the next day or two. I’ll need to add some more straw tomorrow once they packed what we put in today.

I fixed Tagen chicken strips and macaroni and cheese for lunch. I think I fixed nine strips and Tagen ate seven of them plus three big helpings of Mac and cheese. He had dessert after we cleaned out the chicken coop.

It has been fun having Tagen out here today. We are enjoying watching the Chiefs game. It looks like the Chiefs might win today so that makes the game more fun to watch.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to pick up some groceries and go to the Chiropractor. Trying to think if there is anything I need to take care of while I am in Emporia. I’m grateful I don’t have any last minute Christmas shopping to take care of.

Hard to remember it is the middle of December with the weather we have today. Feels more like a spring day. I had to take off my jacket while I was helping clean out the chicken coop. It reached the mid 50’s today. Wish the whole winter could be like today.

Still have a bit of restlessness in my background. Unusual that it is lasting this long. It is quieter than it was so maybe it is starting to fade. All I can do is allow it to be what it is and ride it out. Getting out and moving my body helped a bit. Maybe the restlessness is trying to tell me to move my body more.

Grateful the chickens have fresh linens today, grateful for this time with Tagen today, and grateful for this picture perfect mid December day.

I declared today a PJ day and decided to stay in my PJ’s all day. I put on a pair of sweat pants and then pulled on a sweatshirt over my PJ’s so I would stay warm. Hope no one drops by today as I look a little mismatched and not put together today. I don’t think I have even brushed my hair today yet.

The wind was a blowing this morning and it was cold and cloudy out. The sun has come out this afternoon but it is still windy and cold. Good day to stay inside by the fireplace. I do have to venture down to do the chickens later but hopefully they won’t laugh at my outfit for the day.

Tagen is coming out for lunch tomorrow and then is going to clean out the chicken coop for me. It is to be in the mid 50’s tomorrow and be sunny so should be a good day to get that done. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he said chicken strips sounded good. The next text I got from him said and macaroni and cheese of course! He must have read my mind because that was what I had thought I would fix. That kid does like his chicken strips and macaroni and cheese. He is easy to fix lunch for.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I went to bed fairly early and slept for three hours but then was awake for several hours before I went back to bed and slept another two or three hours. I never feel rested when I have nights like that. Grateful I got the second sleep but wish I could have slept in longer this morning.

I need to run to Walmart for a few groceries and to pick up a prescription that is ready but thinking I will wait and go Monday. That way I can avoid the crowd this weekend and go to the Chiropractor while I am in town Monday. I think I have everything I need to fix Tagen lunch tomorrow without going shopping today.

Made a crockpot of White Chicken Chili for lunch today. It was really good. I have too much leftover though. Maybe Tagen will take some home with him tomorrow. It was a good day to fix soup.

We are forecast to have four days in a row towards the end of the week that the temperature day and night is to be over 40. Too bad it is a holiday weekend coming up and the Efis guy probably won’t come. Crossing my fingers this will happen again in January and he can come get that project started.

Still sitting with some restlessness. I think it is from too much empty space and the after Christmas let down. I keep exploring things to put on my calendar to give myself a bit of structure but haven’t settled on the right thing yet. I have some ideas of some classes I would like to offer but haven’t settled on which direction to go yet. When the timing is right, the right thing will appear.

I read through a decluttering page on Facebook today. It is so interesting to me how people deal with clutter and how creative they are avoiding dealing with it. So very grateful I started that journey 20 years ago and continue to work on stopping the incoming and sending things out that no longer serve. My mind doesn’t function well when I have cluttered spaces. The hardest part of that journey was the beginning steps. It sure gets easier the longer one manages it.

I was actually looking for a daily/weekly/monthly routine page. I need to put some structure into my life around housecleaning and know there are pages out there that lay out a whole house over the course of a month and suggest places to clean daily. I like checking things off a list and thought that might be beneficial to me. Haven’t found what I am looking for yet but will keep looking.

Grateful Tagen is coming tomorrow to clean out the chicken coop, grateful for what sleep I did get last night, and grateful for the White Chicken Chili I made for lunch today.

Rainy day on the prairie. We seem to get weather about 24 – 48 hours after my cousin Pam gets it in Santa Fe. She got snow a day or two ago but we got rain. Almost an inch so far and it is still raining. Yay!

It has been a lazy, rainy day for me. I stayed up too late last night watching a show. I slept in but woke up still feeling tired. After a couple hours awake, I gave in and went back to bed and slept for two more hours. Still feeling a bit tired but maybe if I get up and move around in a bit I will get some energy going.

Kathy went to town today and stopped and picked up my prescription for me. So grateful as that saved a trip to town for me. I hate going to town for only one thing and couldn’t think of anything else I needed.

Mark Davis from Davis Drain called me yesterday to let me know the plumbers and ditch diggers had gotten the sewer line fixed at my rental house in Cottonwood Falls. Mark went above and beyond and managed this project for me. I so appreciate him. The ditch digger hit the water line while digging the sewer line out and they had to repair that. Grateful for their service and the way they worked me in to get this job done. I’m sure my renter appreciates being able to flush again. Hopefully they fixed this problem and this fix will last a long time.

Got started on the tea towel embroidery work last night. I have two done and 19 to go. The pattern is cute and it is fun working them up. I hadn’t done any embroidery work for several years. I remember why I like it now.

Still need to go own to do the chickens this afternoon. The rain has let up for a bit so need to get down there before it starts raining again. I have two dozen eggs sold for Monday that I don’t have in the house yet. Lay girls! Lay!

No plans for the weekend other than cleaning house if the mood strikes. It is nice to stay in and avoid all the last minute Christmas shoppers and chaos that is out there this time of year. I will need to go to town Monday or Tuesday to pick up a few groceries and see my Chiropractor. Hopefully I can time the visit to the grocery store so the store isn’t too busy and I can get in and out quickly. Not in the people mood right now.

I think I am going to make some white chicken chili tomorrow. I am hungry for it and it will make enough to feed me for several days. I have some chicken tenders that need used up and that will fit the bill.

My old insurance agent called me today and offered to shop for new house insurance for me. She is a day late and a dollar short. I told her I had already found a different policy. I didn’t tell her I was going to pull the rental houses and car from her. I want to get the windows paid for before I tell her that.

Feeling a bit out of sorts and low energy today. Not sure why I am extra tired today but going to allow it to be what it is and this too shall pass. It felt luxurious to go back to bed around noon time and take a long winter’s nap. Somedays are like this for me. Best to honor it and rest.

I had to check my calendar twice to see if our family Christmas was one week or two weeks ago from tomorrow. It was only one week. It feels like it has been a month or more. I don’t have a good relationship with time these days. It is hard for me to know how long ago something happened. Weird how that happens. Guess when you are retired the calendar and time doesn’t hold much meaning. I do check my calendar daily just to make sure if I have committed to being someplace today. I rarely a remember what day of the week it is unless I have something scheduled. Sign of getting old? Maybe just out of touch?

Grateful for a day of rest, grateful for the rain falling on the prairie, and grateful for a quiet weekend ahead.

I am so lucky. I got to have another heart-to-heart lunch with a dear friend. Lunches like the one yesterday and today feed my soul.

Haven’t gotten much else done today. I had trouble sleeping last night and woke up feeling tired and a bit out of sorts. Lunch helped course correct me but still not feeling very motivated to do much. I do need to go down and take care of the chickens but may not even attempt to do anything else today. Maybe I will find some drive and motivation tomorrow to start cleaning my very dirty house.

I dug out my embroidery thread and brought the tea towels out of the bedroom and put them by my chair. Maybe today will be the day I get started on them. Once I get started I will get them done fairly quickly. For some reason, I am struggling to get them started.

I need to go to Walmart tomorrow and pick up a prescription. Can’t think of anything else I need to do while I am in town tomorrow. I hate to go in for only one thing. Maybe something will come to mind that I can take care of while I am in town tomorrow.

I have lots of empty space on my calendar for the coming weeks. Am giving some thought as to what I might fill some time doing. I don’t like doing things just to be busy so attempting to be intentional about how I go about filling this empty space. Sitting with a couple of options but nothing feels like it is time to proceed with yet. The right thing will surface – or not. Maybe I need some down time for a bit. We shall see how this plays out.

There is a Solstice Spirit Fair at the Cotiliion in Wichita next week Thursday through Saturday. Anyone interested in going? I find those are fun to spend some time at. The cost is $10 per person. It sounds like they have a good variety of vendors coming. Let me know if you would be interested in going. I would probably go on Friday or Saturday as I have something going on Thursday evening.

There was another breathtakingly beautiful sunrise this morning. I think the sunrises in late fall and winter are the best on the prairie. I love how they change minute to minute.

It was too cloudy to see much of the meteor shower last night. Maybe tonight there will be some but right now it is partly cloudy so not looking promising that we will have a clear view.

Feeling a bit restless again today. Wish I could figure out what it is trying to tell me. Sometimes when I have too much empty space I can get restless. I feel an old tape in my head telling me I need to be productive and do something with this free time. I have learned how to “be” and not “do” but can fall into old habits and patterns of not being comfortable with being.

Grateful for time with friends, grateful for empty space ahead, and grateful to live where I live so I can see and enjoy the beautiful sunrises.

Continue reading “Thursday, December 14, 2023”

Went to Council Grove today to meet a dear friend for lunch. I found the UPS drop off place in Council Grove and dropped off the stool test that Colonguard had sent me. Went to the grocery store and got some bananas and then met my friend for a long lunch.

Always a great time visiting with my soul sister. We can go deep with each other and share anything and everything. Lunches like this are good for my soul.

I’m lucky enough to get to do this again tomorrow with a different friend. I am going back to Council Grove tomorrow to meet someone else. Wow! I’m lucky to get to have two heart-to-heart conversations in the same week.

Came home feeling very restless. Not sure what that is from. I will allow it and see what it has to tell me. Sometimes it has a message for me and other times it is just restless energy that needs released.

I did chicken chores. Have more demand than eggs right now. The girls are only giving me between 8 – 14 eggs a day right now. They are on their winter slow down. I keep a running list of people that want eggs and fill the requests as the girls give me eggs. Lots of Christmas baking going on right now and people are using lots of eggs. Wish I could keep up with the demand.

Need to do some housecleaning this afternoon and move my body. Sometimes that helps move out the restless energy that is pent up inside.

I stopped in Strong City on the way home to see if the plumber and ditch digger has made it to my rental house in Cottonwood Falls yet. So far no, they are waiting for a utility company to come mark something before they can dig. Trusting it will get taken care of soon. It is no fun to have to live with a plugged sewer line. I’ll check again tomorrow to see if they are making any progress.

Have a bit of an upset tummy this afternoon. Trusting it will calm down soon. Not sure what it is from.

No plans for the weekend. I have some overdue housework that needs done so will spend the weekend cleaning. I get restless when my house gets dirty and it is reaching the point of no return right now. Time to get it cleaned up.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I am hosting a Solstice Celebration Thursday evening but other than that I have a free week ahead for myself. If anyone needs help getting ready for your Christmas celebrations, let me know and I would be happy to come help you out.

I ordered blinds for the main floor of the house. Sure hate to spend that much money on blinds but I really need some sort of window covering to block out some strong sunlight. They are to be in within two weeks if all goes well. Some orders have been delayed lately so the lady doesn’t promise a date anymore. They will be here when they are here.

Hoping the clouds part so we can watch the meteor shower that is peaking tonight and tomorrow night. I love watching them streak through the night sky. The moon is not going to be a problem tonight and the meteors will be easy to be seen if the clouds will part.

No plans for the weekend. Next week one day I am watching Cody for the day. That will keep me busy. Thursday next week is the Solstice Ceremony but other than that my week is pretty empty. Maybe I will get some long overdue housecleaning done. Maybe not!

Kathy got the mini trampoline put together for me. I wasn’t strong enough to pull the cords to hook it. She worked on it and figured out a way to get it done. I appreciate her help. So far I have just lightly bounced on it without my feet leaving the base. I hope to work up to spending more time each day on it. It is supposed to be good for your lymph system to get it moving. I need something to get me moving.

Sitting with lots of restlessness this afternoon along with a bit of an upset tummy. Not sure what it is trying to tell me. I will sit with it and allow it to be. Sometimes I can figure it out and sometimes I can’t. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for the time with my dear friend today, grateful for a safe trip to and from Council Grove, and grateful that this too shall pass….

The furnace repair guy came as scheduled and replaced some sort of motor in the furnace. Good to have that taken care of.

After he left, I texted Chad to see if he was at the McDonald’s in town. He was so I headed to town to drop off his Christmas treats. I also gave him Keith’s to deliver for me. I sat and visited with him for a bit. Found out the store had changed owners again a couple months ago. What is that saying – the only constant thing in this world is change.

Went to the Chiropractor after I left Chad. He did his thing on me. Not sure it is helping but I will stay with it for another month or so to give it a fair chance.

Mailed Gene’s Christmas box. I had to wait for a bit in line as the Christmas package mailing has begun. Feels so good to have all the treats out of the house and the temptation removed from the house.

Went through the car wash on my way to Walmart. I need to remember to call them and change to a lower level car wash. I can’t tell the difference between the high price one and the low price one. I don’t think any of them get my car really clean.

Went to Walmart and bought groceries the old fashioned way in the store. The store wasn’t too crowded so got in and out fairly quickly. I forgot to get some bananas as I had forgotten to put them on my list. Dang itanyways. May just deal without them. I don’t want to go back to town.

On the way home I drove into Cottonwood Falls to see if the guys are working on the plumbing issue there. They are not. Not sure when they will get to it. Hopefully the drains are still working for the renter and she can skate by until the guys can get there and get it fixed.

Came home and put everything away. Good to have my errands for the week taken care of. This afternoon I am going to work on cleaning house. I got my desk cleaned off this morning and took care of some pending issues that were sitting on it. There is lots of dust in the house again and the whole main level needs a good cleaning.

My Sirius radio wasn’t working in my car on the way home. I’ll have to go on-line and find out what the problem is. I remember getting charged for it recently but not sure when the last payment went through. Maybe I had a contract of some sort that ran out. However, it is working in the house through my Sonos system.

Got notice that my blog site renewal is coming due in January. Went to the site to see what was involved with that and didn’t understand what I am paying for. I think I am paying for more than I use now. I’ll have to call them and sort through that.

I also need to call my plumber and find out where they are with the booster pump. Not sure I am in the mood for phone calls today but if the mood strikes I have several to make.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. I’ve been up since 4:30 so may take a nap this afternoon. Feeling a bit out of sorts today but thinking it is probably because I am tired. I did fine in town today but got a little frustrated with traffic on the way home. It was one of those trips home that felt like it took an hour to get there.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for lunch in Council Grove. That will be a nice drive and a nice lunch. We haven’t seen each other for several months so will have lots to catch up on. If I think about it, I will stop at the grocery store in Council Grove and get some bananas.

Got notice that Amazon has issued my refund for the two items that were shipped incorrectly. They did that as soon as Nicole dropped the package off at the UPS store. They did put in fine print, that they may charge me again if things aren’t like I said they would be. Glad that mess got resolved and taken care of thanks to Nicole.

I ordered a rebound trampoline to start working out on. I am not strong enough to put it together. I’ll have to wait until someone comes over that is much stronger than I am. Wish they could have sent it already assembled to make it easy for this old lady.

Sitting with the idea of offering a class of some sorts for next year. I want to explore boundaries some more and think a class would be helpful for that. I also would like to explore co-dependency traits and ways to break those habits. Maybe the two are intertwined and could be one class. Time for me to put myself out there again and get some things going.

I would also like to start hosting some informal groups that would talk about death, final wishes, etc. There is so much fear around death and I would like to work to change that.

Grateful my errands for the week are taken care of, grateful the furnace motor got replaced, and grateful I can stay home the rest of the day in time-out.

The lady from Made in the Shade Blinds came this morning to measure and help me pick out roller shades for the windows. She was easy to work with and knew her stuff. She sent me a quote this afternoon. It was a bit less than I expected it might be. I will sit with it for a day or two and then decide what to do.

The guy from Davis Drain called me last night to let me know he had gone to the rental house to unclog the sewer drain. He had good news and bad news. He got the drain temporarily unplugged but when he put his camera down the pipe he discovered the pipe stopped. I have a completely broken sewer pipe.

When I asked him what do I do next, he said I needed to call a plumber and then someone with a backhoe as the pipe will need to be dug out. When I asked him who he recommended, he told me and then volunteered to call them first thing this morning for me.

Had he been with me, I would have hugged and kissed him. What a relief that he said he would talk to them and tell them what needed to be done. When I call those guys, they always ask questions that I have no idea how to answer.

He called me this morning to let me know he had gotten hold of the local plumber and backhoe guys and they were on the job. They got the utility people notified and the gas and other lines are marked for them already. They are to work on it this afternoon. I will drive in after I finish blogging and see what action is going on.

We have had trouble with this line before. They ran a camera down it before and told me it wasn’t connected to the city’s line correctly but they recommended not doing anything to it then. Guess it finally decided to stop working all together. I’m afraid we are going to have to cut into the street to fix the connection to the city line. Wonder what this little project will cost? Dang it anyways. I can’t seem to catch a break with house repairs lately.

I went to the post office in Strong City today and got a box to put Gene’s Christmas goodies in. I got it fixed up this afternoon and will drop it off at the post office in the morning. I need to go to Emporia tomorrow and will take Chad and Keith’s stuff to town with me and drop it off at McDonald’s. It will be good to get those three things out of the house and then I can officially say Christmas 2023 is over.

What a beautiful day on the prairie today. Bright blue skies with little to no wind all day. Can’t ask for a more perfect winter day. It got up to the mid 50’s today. Wish the whole winter would be like today.

Nicole let me know she dropped off the Amazon return package I needed taken to a UPS store. Grateful she was willing to do that for me. I trust Amazon will do the right thing and credit me for both items that I didn’t receive. It is hard to return something via UPS when you don’t have a close by UPS store.

Tomorrow the furnace guy is coming to replace some sort of motor connected with the furnace. I only know it is going to cost around $800. Guess that will be my Christmas present to myself this year. Yikes! I could think of several things I would rather have gotten myself.

Wednesday I am meeting a friend for lunch in Council Grove. She lives in Manhattan and that is a good half way spot to meet at. It will be good to spend a long lunch with a friend. Thursday I am going to lunch with another friend. Must be friend week for me. It is a special treat to get to spend time with my dear friends and I will enjoy both days.

My Colonguard kit came in today so will need to get that taken care of sometime this week and get it returned. Sure is easier doing that than getting a colonoscopy. My doctor had ordered the kit way back in August but insurance wouldn’t pay for it until December.

In August, my doctor had prescribed a $800 a month new drug to help me lower my cholesterol. When I found out the price I told the doctor I was not going to take it. I got notice from the insurance company that they will cover it for one month. I just found that out today. It took them five months to decide that. I told them thanks but no thanks. Don’t think one month of it will do any permanent good so why take it. Good thing it wasn’t an urgent prescription that I needed. I swear, modern medicine is not for the sick these days!

Got my kitchen cleaned up and now need to work on cleaning the rest of the house. There are little bits of insulation that blew in when the windows were taken out. I will get started on that clean up job this evening and hopefully will have the whole main level of the house cleaned by the weekend. I don’t have any guests coming over but it has reached the point it is giving me anxiety to see the little bits on the floor and furniture. Time to make it all go away.

Sitting in a good place this afternoon. Even with the news of the broken sewer pipe I was able to stay above the neutral level. I can’t always do that so taking that as a sign of personal growth.

Grateful to be able to meet with some dear friends this week, grateful for this absolutely beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful Nicole returned my package for me.

This has definitely been a rest and recovery day for me. Still feeling the love from yesterday but the after Christmas let down is creeping in. I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the empty space ahead for me on my calendar.

I have done two loads of dishes cleaning up the remnants of yesterday. As soon as my fudge making pan gets clean I will make a last batch of fudge and get three goodie bags made up for my brothers and then Christmas will be done. It will be good to get the last of the treats out of the house. I gave into temptation and had some chocolate covered pretzels. I will need to detox next week to get them out of my system.

One good thing about this year, I didn’t bother putting up a Christmas tree as I didn’t host any Christmas parties at my house. At least I don’t have to take that down. They are certainly more fun to put up than to take down. I didn’t put a tree up last year either and survived nicely without it. Wishing I hadn’t bought a new tree last year as I don’t think I will ever use it. We shall see.

Tagen is to come out one night this week after school and help me clean out the chicken coop. I bribed him with a dinner and some cash for coming out. I shall see if he shows up. If not, I will add some clean straw to the coop and call it good. The only problem is, the more straw I add, the harder the clean out becomes in the spring time.

Just got a text from my renter in Cottonwood Falls that the drains are backed up again. Wish I could find a permanent solution to them. This seems to happen at least once a year. Grateful for Davis Drain and their prompt service and efficiency.

I really like my new windows without the blinds in them. I can see outside so much better. I will need blinds or shades though as the light coming in gets pretty intense and it isn’t even summer time. The new windows are highly energy efficient and am hoping they will help save me money on my propane heating bills. I’m sure the blinds or shades will help too.

Not feeling like doing much today. It is good to take a day of rest and recovery. I will watch the Chiefs football game later this afternoon. I need to go find the tea towels and the embroidery thread and get those started. It would give my hands something to do. Maybe that would help calm the restlessness I am feeling today.

I reminded myself that what I am feeling is the in-between stage. I just finished a huge project yesterday with getting Christmas ready and I don’t have another project on the horizon. It puts me in the in-between stage and it can be uncomfortable for me. When I remember what it is, it helps ease my restlessness. Allowing myself to be with what is and allowing it to be enough. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for the feelings of love that remain in my heart from yesterday, grateful for remembering about the in-between feelings, and grateful for Davis Drain and their prompt and efficient service.

Christmas’s 2023 is over and done! What a wonderful day we had today celebrating Christmas together. There is nothing I love more than being with my family.

Craig and Nancy hosted us and served a wonderful lunch. We played lots of games that were great fun. The grandkids raked in the gifts and the adults did OK too. We also celebrated Ellexia’s 14th birthday. She loved the cake Traci Hale made. It had a cheerleading theme to it.

Unfortunately due to illness, Jason and his gang couldn’t come. We sure missed them today but understand they needed to stay home and get to feeling better. I brought their haul of presents home and dropped them off along with leftovers when I got back into Emporia.

I drove to Wichita today and stopped three times on the way home trying to fill my car up with gas. The first time I stopped at Benton and the card reader wasn’t working and I didn’t want to go inside. The second stop was at the Matfield Green Service Area. After I entered my zip code it asked if I wanted a receipt. I pushed the no button and it canceled the transaction. I tried again and pushed the yes button and the same thing happened. I stopped at a gas station on the east side of Emporia and the first pump I pulled up to was out of service. I drove around and this one worked. What is up with all that today? Didn’t know buying gas would be the hard part of the day.

Got home around 4:30 and got the car unloaded and then ran down to get the chicken chores done before I lost day light. They gave me 14 eggs today. Go girls!

Got rid of most of the Christmas treats. I need to make a batch of fudge in the morning and then can deliver treats to my two brothers in Lebo and get Gene’s box ready to mail Monday. I will throw in the rest of the other treats and get rid of them all. Then Christmas will officially be over for me for 2023.

This was one of the more fun Christmas celebrations we have had. The games add such fun to the day. Got some good pictures of the group eating a plate of whipped cream to get to a money reward on the plate. All were good sports and had fun finding their prize. We were able to laugh and have fun and enjoy each other today with no drama or fuss. What a delight it is to spend time with my kiddos and their families.

Feels so good to have Christmas over with for the year. It was one of the least stressful Christmas I have ever done. I got started early and didn’t have to rush through any of it. Doing it early in December helped too. I wasn’t burned out from all the Christmas excess that is everywhere these days. I can’t quite say I am fond of Christmas but if all Christmas’s can be like this one, I may become fond of it again.

Now I can turn my attention to preparing for Winter Solstice and the New Year. I have lots of empty space ahead for me and I will need to give some thought as to what I want to do with it. I have several people that I need to contact and schedule a time to go visit. I have put off going to see them and no longer have a reason to do that. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone and I need to take advantage of this empty space time and reconnect with some dear ones.

Nothing on my calendar tomorrow except for getting my brother’s treats ready for them. Monday the blind/shade lady is coming and Tuesday the furnace repair guy will be here. The rest of the week is free. I will need to go to town one day and get some groceries and go to the chiropractor but I will work that in when I am in the mood to go to town.

I’m tired tonight. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Betting it will be an early to bed type of night for me tonight. It will be nice to get to sleep in next week. The last two weeks I have had to get up and be dressed by 8:00 in case the window guys showed up when they said they would. With no blinds I had no privacy in the bathroom to get showered and dressed.

Basking in the love from today. There is nothing better for my heart than to spend the day with my family.

Grateful for the time with the family, grateful Christmas 2023 is a wrap, and grateful for safe travels today.

It was a foggy start to the day. The window guys took a bit longer to get here than normal due to the fog. When I got up this morning, I couldn’t see the chicken coop as the fog was so thick.

Got the cheesecake baked this morning. I think it turned out OK – hard to tell how it will taste but it didn’t fall in the middle. It does have a crack in it but that is normal for mine.

I have New Year’s Cookies mixed and sitting in front of the fireplace rising. The oil is heating and waiting for the New Year’s Cookies to be ready. When I get done blogging, hopefully both will be ready for me to fry up the cookies. I may have to make a second batch for my brothers depending on how many disappear tomorrow.

The window guys got the final two doors replaced and are busy doing all the finish up work. They taped up the outside around all the windows and doors so it will be enclosed until the Efis guy comes and does the finish work. They are removing the rest of the plastic film that was on the windows as well as putting up all the screens and screen doors. They should be finished in an hour or so. They have been good about gathering up their trash as they go along.

The guy that took some windows yesterday came back today and got a door or two. The window guys took care of him and told me about it after he left. So grateful someone found a second purpose for some of the old stuff and kept it out of the dump.

I remembered this morning that I need to take leftover containers to the party tomorrow. I want the bigger containers the cookies are in back so needed smaller containers for the kids to take things home in. I was dreading having to go to town today and had decided I would stop in the morning on my way out of town. Kathy went to our friend’s house today and my friend sent home two packages of the exact container I needed. I hadn’t said anything to either of them. Now that is divine timing! Love when that happens.

I have to pick up the birthday cake at 10:00 in the morning and then will head to Wichita for the day. It will take me a hot minute or two to get everything loaded into the car before I can leave. I have a big pile of presents and goodies to take. It will be good to get all that out of the house.

Two weeks ago I had placed an order on-line to pick up at Walmart. The paper plates I had ordered were out of stock and they offered to ship them to me at no additional charge. I decided to try that and they said I would have them in two days. They came in today – two weeks after I ordered them. Good thing they weren’t urgent. Not impressed Walmart!

The KU exercise research program called me today to let me know that the Cardiologist and my general practitioner had both signed off to allow me to join their program. They scheduled three appointments for January that I have to drive to KC for. One is a mental assessment, one is a big blood draw, and one is an MRI of my brain. I wish they could have crammed it all into one day but that wasn’t going to work. At least they got two in one day. Trusting the weather will be OK and I will have smooth sailing both days. Still not sure when I will actually get to start the exercise program but keep working my way towards that goal.

They sent me a 13 page consent letter today that they will go over with me at one of my appointments. I get a Fitbit that I have to wear for the year of the program that I will then get to keep. I wear a smart watch as I have trouble finding my phone. Guess I will get to wear a watch on both wrists for a year.

Kathy and a friend are going to the Grand Canyon next year. Kathy invited me to go with them but I declined. Jim had taken me there twice and I am not ready to retrace my steps there yet. This has been a dream of Kathy’s for a long time and I am so grateful she gets to make that dream come true. Love seeing dreams come true!

Last night I was about ready to head to bed. My legs were getting restless and I needed to take a hot bath to try to calm them down. I got up to go do that and looked at the clock. It was only 6:35. Dang it anyways. I managed to stay up till 8:00 but then took my bath and went to bed. I slept most of the night. I was due for a good night’s sleep. I’m a bit tired today but that is normal for me after I get extra sleep at night.

Last night I read some old blogs that I had written during the time Jim and I were together. It amazes me how often I fell into the muck pond when I was with him. That should have been a huge clue to myself that something was wrong. I didn’t pick up on it then. I rarely fall into the muck pond these days and if I do, I don’t stay there long. I keep reminding myself of that so if I ever do start falling into it frequently in the future, I will stop and figure out what is wrong. Sometimes the obvious isn’t so obvious to me.

I’m getting excited about tomorrow. I love family days. Sure wish Jason and his gang could come but know it is better for all if they don’t. We don’t want what they have. I’m excited to see Ellexia’s face when I show her the birthday cake and we celebrate her turning 14. So very grateful to Craig and Nancy for allowing me to join their celebration.

Lots of free time ahead of me after tomorrow. I will need to clean house next week and get rid of the last of the new window debris that will linger after the guys leave. Maybe next week I can get those tea towels started. I kinda put off that project until Christmas was over. I will enjoy doing the embroidery work on the tea towels.

I still need to get Gene’s Christmas box fixed up and mailed to him and then get fudge, peanut brittle and New Year’s Cookies to Keith and Chad and then Christmas 2023 will be over. I love that we are doing Christmas early this year. Last year we didn’t get to do it until January and that made way too long of a Christmas season or me.

Grateful the window guys will finish up today (even though they will have to come back for one more day later), grateful the KU research program called and gave me appointments for January, and grateful Christmas is tomorrow.

I talked to Jason last night and found out his wife and her son are still down with the crud. I made some chicken noodle soup today and took to them. Maybe grandma’s soup will help them get over it. It was made with lots of extra love and care.

I took the soup in a little after noon today. I also took their Christmas presents and goodies. Included were some sugar cookies I made using the recipe from Jason’s dad’s mother. I asked Jason to take some to Jim. I’ve always said two of the best things to come out of that marriage was Jason and the sugar cookie recipe.

After I dropped all of that off at Jason’s house I met a friend at Radius and gave her some things left over from doing the Pioneer Bluffs mailing. She was with another friend of mine. It was nice to give and get two hugs from people I love and care about.

Came home to the noise and mess of the window guys. They think they will finish up tomorrow – they only have the patio doors and one other door to do tomorrow plus some screen doors, etc. Two tall windows were back ordered so they will have to come another time to do those. I’m grateful they are almost done. They have been pleasant to have around but I am getting tired of the noise and mess. Next week I will need to clean my upper floor to get rid of the construction remnants.

The wind is in a big hurry today. The house feels quieter and tighter with the new windows. I don’t hear the wind near as much as I used to. That is a good thing! I wonder if it will help decrease my propane usage.

The lady that is going to help me with shades/blinds is coming Monday. I trust her product is fairly affordable. I have a feeling I better be sitting down when I see her total though. I have lots of windows that need blinds/shades. So grateful a friend told me about this lady and I will get some expert advice as to what to put up. I am not knowledgeable about things like that.

It has reached almost 70 degrees today. Too bad the wind has been blowing at 30MPH plus most of the day. Our highest gust so far has been 37.8 MPH. I had warned the window guys the wind can blow hard on this hill. I’m grateful they listened and planned inside work for most of the day today.

The Efis guy could have worked today but by Saturday it is going to drop below 40 again. The Efis guy needs three or four days in a row of temperatures above 40 day and night before he can come. Crossing my fingers that will happen yet this winter and the Efis can get repaired before spring.

I need to check with the insurance adjuster and make sure I can get an extension of their coverage as I am not sure I can get it all done within their required six months from date of claim. Painting the deck and the Efis repair are both weather sensitive and not sure when either can be done. The guttering can not be replaced until the Efis project is done. Betting this repair drags out to spring at least.

A guy came today and picked out some of the old windows to take home with him. Not sure what he is going to do with them but grateful someone took some. That will be a few less windows going to the dump. Some of the windows still have some good life in them and I am grateful someone got some. I deleted the post on Facebook as it was resulting in too any questions and no action. The window guys had to put the windows in their trailer as they were afraid they would blow over in this wind today and do damage to the house. They were very helpful when the guy came to look at them and helped him find what he was interested in and loaded them on his pickup for him.

Both Kathy and I had trouble sleeping last night due to our legs and feet hurting. We both can tell there is a major weather pattern shift coming in. I swear I could have chopped my feet off last night if I could have figured out how to do that. They were screaming at me most of the night. Neither one of us slept much last night.

Tomorrow I will make my first batch of New Year’s Cookies and bake a cheesecake. Then I think I will be ready for Christmas on Saturday. It will be good to get rid of all the Christmas goodies. I got very tempted to have some this morning but remembered how bad my head would hurt if I ate sugar and managed to eat a banana instead. I am so grateful Christmas is almost over for me this year.

My propane company came and filled my propane tank today. I have two more prepaid fills for the winter. Man! It is expensive to heat this house. I hope the new windows help reduce the cost a bit.

I will have lots of empty space on my calendar after this weekend. Not sure how I want to fill it. Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I have nothing on my calendar for days and days. I’m sure the right thing will present itself when I need it to. I do feel better about myself when I am somewhat productive.

Grateful the window guys are almost done, grateful some old windows found a second life, and grateful for the warm temperature today.

Went to Emporia this morning to escape the sound of the window guys removing the windows from the living room. This is the first day the sound got to me. I had to move my favorite chair from the corner of the room so felt displaced.

My first stop was at the insurance agent’s office. His secretary answered all my questions and I agreed to go with their quote. They will change the dates to align with when my other policy is being canceled. I will need to go in early that week and sign the application and pay the bills. They made that easy.

I then went to the bank and deposited the rent checks that the ATM machine wouldn’t accept last Friday. Good to have that taken care of.

I stopped at Bluestem and got six bags of chicken feed and two bags of Dog Chow. I love how easy they make it and bring the stuff to the car and load it. It is easy to unload but I have trouble loading it. Man! Both chicken feed and dog chow had gone up in price again. I think I need to find a cheaper hobby.

Stopped at the liquor store and got the bourbon to make bourbon slush. Nicole had suggested a brand for me as I don’t know the first thing about buying bourbon. Last year I had some left over in the bottle and the kids asked me why I hadn’t just dumped the whole bottle in. They managed to drink the leftovers for me by adding it to their cups of bourbon slush.

Stopped at Walmart and picked up a prescription that was ready and the juice I needed to make the slush. Walmart doesn’t sell frozen lemonade concentrate anymore – at least not in the winter time. I didn’t want to go to other stores just for that so got some lemons to squeeze instead.

Came home and made the bourbon slush. I dumped the whole bottle of bourbon in it this year as I am not hosting Christmas and didn’t want to travel with an open bottle. Trusting I guessed right on the lemon substitute and it will taste OK. Maybe with the extra bourbon in it, no one will notice or care!

I laid down and took a long winter’s nap this afternoon. I needed to escape from the sawing and pounding noise and a nap did the trick. By the time I woke up, the window guys were gone. They still have three doors to put in and then two more of the tall windows. The two tall windows weren’t with the other windows so they will have to come another time to do those. There is a chance they can get finished tomorrow but may have to come back Friday. Before they leave for the last time, I need to remember to have them take the plastic off the backside of the windows that have screens. I’m not sure how to remove the screens so I can remove the plastic film on the windows.

The window guys took a coffee break and I gave them some Christmas cookies to eat with their coffee. They said they enjoyed them.

Tomorrow I have to go back in to Emporia to meet a friend and deliver something to her. I don’t think I have anything else I have to do in town as I took care of other things today. I’ll go over my list for Saturday one more time tonight so I can stop and get something if needed tomorrow.

Friday I need to bake a cheesecake and make New Year’s Cookies and then I will be ready for Saturday. I have to stop in Emporia Saturday morning and pick up a fancy birthday cake for Ellexia I am having made. She reminded me last night that her birthday is next week. The cake will be a surprise for her Saturday.

Michelle brought Tagen, Ellexia and Lily out for spaghetti and meatballs last night. When they were done eating I fixed up small bowls of frosting and the four of them knocked out frosting all the sugar cookies in short order. I so appreciated their help. I didn’t even have many sprinkles to sweep up when they were done. They all acted like they were having fun frosting. I am always amazed at how much the kiddos can eat! I didn’t have much spaghetti and meatball leftovers to send home with them. The kiddos each asked to taste test their favorite Christmas treats. I sent home a small baggie with each of them full of their favorites.

The lady that is going to give me a shade/blind quote is coming Monday. She will measure all the windows and work up a quote. She told me she will bring samples with her as I don’t know the first thing about picking out blinds. I don’t know what is available and what style I want. I told her I was interested in conserving energy as well as needing black out shades/blinds for the two bedrooms. Beyond that, I have no clue.

Tuesday the heating guy is coming to install the new motor for the furnace. It will be good to get that crossed off my pending list. Hoping the booster pump will get crossed off soon too.

I put a notice on a local Facebook site about giving away the old windows and doors. The window guys are going to take them to the dump. I forgot I don’t like doing that as I get question after question about them. They are free – if you want them take them. If you have a question, come look at them. I’m not going to work to make it easy for you to get something for free. So far, no one that asked a question has come to get them. Maybe this little experience will help remind me why I don’t bother with it.

The chickens only gave me 10 eggs today. The slackers! Sure wish they would get back to giving me 20 plus a day. It is much more fun to gather eggs when I get a full basket.

So grateful Christmas will be over in three days. I am looking forward to a long afternoon with the kiddos though. That is the best part of Christmas for me – getting to spend time with them all together. I will only have to put together the treats for my three brothers after Saturday and then Christmas 2023 is done for me. It will make the rest of December much more enjoyable for me.

Sent a note to the Efis guy to let him know that the windows are all but done. He sent me back a note that if I am willing to allow him to keep the scaffolding up for periods of time he may be able to get the project done this winter. He said if he can get three or four days in a row with temperatures above 40 he could do it a section at a time. That would be wonderful if he could get that job done this winter. We shall see what Mother Nature does and if we can catch a break or two or three in temperatures this winter.

Sitting in a good head space today. It felt good to get my errands taken care of in Emporia today and to get a long winter’s nap today. I’m so grateful the window guys are almost done and the noise and mess will be over soon. One more big project to cross off my pending list.

Grateful the kiddos and Michelle came out for dinner last night and then frosted the sugar cookies, grateful the insurance got taken care of and was affordable, and grateful the bourbon slush is made and freezing.

I got the peppernuts made this morning. I only did a single batch as I can’t remember if anyone likes them or not. Kathy does but she can only eat so many! They are fun to eat and very tempting for me to try but I don’t want the headache that would come with a taste of them due to the sugar in them.

I had forgotten to get the things to make bourbon slush. I checked with the kids and they do want some this year so I added what I need to my next trip to town list.

The window guy found a rubber fishing lure in the dining room yesterday and set it on the fireplace. I found it last night. At first it looked like some sort of bug and it scared me but upon closer look I realized it was a rubber fishing lure. Wonder where it came from? I thought it was the window guys but they said they had found it in the house. Now how in the world did it get in my dining room? Curious minds want to know!

The guys have taken out and replaced the five windows in the dining room so far today. When they get that done they are doing the door in the dining room. The house got a bit cold while they had the old window out and before they could get the new ones put in place. It is fun to watch them work. They are a father/son team and work well together.

The window guys were commenting on the wind today. It is only in the low 20’s and I told them we barely consider this a windy day out here on the prairie. I told them to wait until Thursday when the wind is really going to blow. I think they are doing the big windows in the living room tomorrow so they can get those done before the wind hits on Thursday. Once they get those in they only have a couple of doors to put in and they will be done. Hoping they will finish up Friday.

Last night I was taking off the plastic coating on the bathroom windows. My hair started feeling funny and I finally realized the static electricity from the plastic was making my hair stand on end. It freaked me out for a hot minute.

The kiddos and Michelle are coming out for dinner tonight and then they are going to help me frost the sugar cookies. I got the sugar cookies made last night as I didn’t want to be rolling out cookies while the windows were being replaced. It will be good to get those frosted and that job done. The kids will make that a fun job tonight. I am fixing spaghetti and meat balls and garlic bread. It is one of their favorite meals so I know they will eat tonight.

Friday I will make a batch of New Year’s Cookies and bake a cheesecake and then I will be ready for Saturday. I will get the bourbon slush made up whenever I get the stuff from it from town. It has been fun making all the kids favorite treats but it will be good to get them all out of the house. I have managed to stay out of all of them so far but I never know when I will get tired and temptation will overcome me.

Jason has some sick ones in his house so he may not get to come Saturday. That would be sad if he can’t come but we don’t want whatever they have. Seems like this is the time of year for respiratory illnesses. Crossing my fingers they will be able to come and everyone else will remain healthy.

The heating company is coming next week to install the new motor in the furnace. It will be good to get that project crossed off my pending list. I need to check with the plumber and see what they are doing about the booster pump replacement.

I got the insurance quotes and overall it is better than I expected. The house insurance went up but not near as much as I had feared. The rental property’s that I had quoted went up too but they adjusted the market value of the properties to reflect current value and I had them insured at the price I paid for them. I have a couple other rental properties that are insured with a different company and I will switch them when they are due next year. The car insurance was cheaper. I will go in and talk to them sometime this week and get those policies finalized. I am so grateful I found insurance that I could afford after getting canceled by my current provider.

This week has been a productive week for me. I feel like a lot of loose ends are getting completed. It feels good to have almost all the treats made for Christmas and it feels even better to know that Christmas will be over Saturday. Bring on Spring!

Sitting in a good headspace today. I have better days when I can be productive and cross things off my list. I have managed to roll with the window guys and not get frustrated over the mess and noise they make. They are good about cleaning up after themselves but the house will need completely cleaned when they are done. Lots of dust blew in while the windows were missing for a bit.

Grateful the Christmas treat list is almost complete, grateful the insurance quote came back affordable, and grateful the kiddos are coming out tonight for dinner and to frost the sugar cookies.

The window guys showed up a little before 9:00 this morning. They already have the three windows in the master bathroom in and trimmed and one window in the living room almost done. Not sure what windows they are going to do next. I warned them that the forecast is showing wind for Thursday. They thought today was windy! They are in for a surprise!

I went to Cottonwood Falls around 11:00 this morning. I managed to get the cardboard put in the almost full recycling trailer. Grateful it all fit.

I went to the post office to drop off the bulk mail tubs. There was no line at the post office and I drove around back and the lady brought out a cart for me to load the tubs on. I drove back around to the front to wait for her to process the mailing so I could get a receipt for Pioneer Bluffs. It took her over 30 minutes to enter the information. At one point she said the check I gave her was the wrong amount. I told her I would make up the difference. She went to do something to enter that and figured out the check was correct and I didn’t owe any more. This had happened last time. She said it was the computer not calculating things correctly. I wonder? There was quite a line behind me by the time she was done. Several had walked out and decided to come back another time and day. Grateful that project got done.

I went to Emporia and went to the Chiropractor for another adjustment. Not sure this is working yet but I will stick with it for a month and see if things improve. I hadn’t been adjusted for a long time and thinking my body doesn’t remember how to align properly. I have had more pain this last week than I did before I went in. Trusting that is part of the process.

I stopped at the busy car wash and got my car washed. I almost didn’t recognize my car when I came out of Walmart with my groceries. Nice to have it cleaned again. The county put some additional gravel down on V Rd this morning so hoping my car will stay a bit cleaner. Before they added some gravel, V Rd had turned into a muddy dirt road.

Picked up the groceries I needed at Walmart. I didn’t know they quit selling six packs of pop in cans. I need three more cans for the game we are doing Saturday. I don’t drink pop so didn’t want to buy another 12 pack. Guess I will have to find a pop machine and do it that way – if I can find one that has cans in it. Most now have plastic bottles. Man! The simple things in life can trip me up.

I tried to deposit a couple of checks at the ATM machine but for some reason the ATM wasn’t accepting deposits today. I didn’t want to drive back downtown where that bank is so will go back another day. I needed to stop and get some chicken feed and dog food but I was fried and came home. I will go back Wednesday and finish up my errands.

I also need to go talk to the insurance agent about the quote they put together. They mailed me the quote and I haven’t gotten it yet so will wait for that to arrive and then go in and have them go over it with me. I’m anxious to see how much their quote is. If it is reasonable, I will go with them. If not, I have another agent to call so I can get a second quote.

Ellexia and Tagen are coming out tomorrow night for dinner. My bribe offer to them was dinner in exchange for help frosting sugar cookies. I’m grateful they agreed to come out and help me. It will make that project much more fun. I will bake the cookies tomorrow so they will be ready to frost after dinner tomorrow night. Their mom is going to come too so with four of us frosting it won’t take long. It has been a Christmas tradition that the kiddos help me frost and sprinkle the cookies. With Covid we haven’t been able to do that for several years. It will be fun to have them join me again this year.

I got a lemon today at the grocery store so plan on making some Peppernuts. I can’t remember who in my family likes them. I will only make one batch so I won’t have too many in case no one else likes them. Kathy likes them but doesn’t like the temptation of so many to eat.

I also picked up the oil so I can make New Year’s Cookies. I might get one batch made before Saturday so I can take them to Craig and Jason. I don’t think the girls like them. I will make another batch closer to New Year’s for my two brothers. They both enjoy them. My brothers also like fudge and peanut brittle. I may need to make another batch of each of those two – we will see what the kids want and if I have any leftovers.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. It is to warm up to the upper 40’s and reach the mid 50’s tomorrow and low 60’s by Wednesday. I wish the whole winter could be like this.

I sent a prescription refill to Walmart hoping that it would be ready to pick up while I was there today. I got the text on my way home that it was ready. When I go back to town later this week I will need to remember to stop and pick it up. Guess this week was meant to be a two-trip to town type of week.

Getting lots of loose ends tied up and completed this week. I managed to cross a few things off my to-do list today and will get several more crossed off after I go back to town Wednesday. It will be good to have a couple stay at home days this week so I can finish getting cookies and treats made for Saturday. Not many left to do so am in good shape.

Sitting with a quiet mind today. I did get a bit fried in town today. Sometimes I feel out of touch with reality like when I discovered they no longer sell six packs of pop. When did they stop? Oh well, life goes on and change is the one thing I can count on.

Grateful more windows are in today, grateful part of my to-do list got crossed off today, and grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie.

Woke up this morning after getting a good night’s sleep and felt like doing something for a change. I got a batch of fudge made successfully (I think). I put a chicken in the crock pot to roast. Felt good to get a few things done this morning.

I carried all the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter material to my car so it is ready to go to the post office in the morning. The clerk doesn’t like me getting there before 11:00 so plan on arriving a bit after that. It will feel good to turn those over to the post office.

I will have another load to take to recycling while I am in Cottonwood Falls in the morning. The mailing material comes in a lot of boxes that need to be recycled. I am reusing a couple of them to put my Christmas things in. The rest I will take and dump tomorrow.

Last night I got my kitchen cleaned. There were a couple of things I hadn’t taken the time to put away from our Thanksgiving feast and got those taken care of – a bit late but better than never – right? I had made quite a mess dipping the chocolate things and needed to get that mess cleaned up. I’m grateful I didn’t stop with that but went ahead and got the rest of the kitchen cleaned up.

Not much on my calendar this week. The window guys will be here all if not most of the week finishing up the window installation. It will be good to get that completed this week. The weather is to be good all week and in the 50’s and 60’s so they should be good to go. I’m grateful it won’t be so cold when they remove the windows. I am anxious to see how they do the big ones on the west side in the living room. Those will take them some time as will the three high windows that they will need a huge extension ladder to reach.

I’m going to go to Emporia either Monday afternoon or Tuesday afternoon. I need to go back to the Chiropractor and I have some errands to run in town. I need to pick up the last few things I need for Saturday and go to the bank to make a deposit. Ellexia got some mail so I need to get that to her.

I think I found someone to come measure and give me a quote for blinds for the new windows. Thanks Cyndi! It will be much easier to have an expert come to me and let them measure and show me their different products. It is hard to order something like that on-line. I will wait and have them come after all the windows are installed so they can get accurate measurements. Not sure what the time line is from order to delivery but will deal with whatever it is.

So far today I have eaten on plan for the first time in over a week. I fell off the wagon again and need to get refocused. I had some soup last week, which was OK, but I ate some crackers with it. Crackers are like a gate-way drug for me. Once I eat something that has flour in it, I start craving more flour products and am hungry all the time. It is hard for me to stop that cycle once it gets started. Hopefully today is the beginning of getting back on track. I set myself back four weeks by taking a week off. Oh well, there is no real time table that I was on and this really is the easy part – getting the weight off. Keeping it off is much harder. Crossing my fingers that I am back on track.

Kathy and I were talking this morning about how neither one of us can do moderation. We are all in or all out. None is easier for me than some. I don’t seem to be able to just do some. Once I cross that line, I want more and more and can never get satisfied. If I don’t do any, I am more satisfied. Weird I know but that is how we are wired. I think that is what they call addiction. Hi, my name is Kay and I am a food addict.

Chips and crackers seem to get me in trouble fast. I know this from the past but it didn’t stop me from going there again. Someday I will conquer this! Just not last week.

Sitting with a quiet mind today. I am caught up with things around here and have lots of empty space ahead. I feel good getting back on my eating plan. Now to get my ass moving and get started exercising. That is next on my self-care list of things to do and get started before year end. Maybe this will be the week.

Grateful the fudge turned out OK today, grateful the kitchen is deep cleaned, and grateful I am back on my eating plan.

I have a big pot of chocolate almond bark melting so I can dip the peanut butter balls, ritz crackers with peanut butter and pretzels. The peanut butter balls and ritz crackers are all ready. Just need the almond bark to finish melting down.

It has been a misty, foggy wet day on the prairie. I woke up to a winter wonderland this morning. The freezing fog had put a layer of ice on everything. It was beautiful and I was ever so grateful I didn’t have to go anywhere today. By the time I had to walk down to the chickens this afternoon the ice had melted and it was a muddy walk, but not a slick one.

As the sun is setting today the fog is increasing and the temperature is dropping again so am thinking we will wake up to another winter wonderland tomorrow. I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow either so I will sit in my chair and enjoy the beauty.

I noticed on Facebook last night that many around here were seeing the Northern lights. I went out but I was too late to see them. There was a slight red glow on the horizon but the main deal had faded by the time I went out. Dang it anyways!

The post office wouldn’t accept the bulk mailing today so will take it in Monday late morning. It will be good to get it off the dining room table.. I always feel like I got something done when I send the mailing off. It was nice to have lots of help for this one. It went together quickly with five of us working on it.

Hoping tomorrow will be sunny so I can make another batch of fudge and peanut brittle. It will be good to have my Christmas treats made and crossed off my to-do list. I’m still waiting on two more packages to arrive and then I think I am ready for next Saturday. I will make a cheesecake Friday but that will be easy and won’t take long.

I looked at ordering some shades for the two bedroom windows. Yikes they are expensive. I need to go to a store and look and what I am going to order. I can’t tell exactly what they will look like by looking at the on-line site. As much as they cost, I don’t want to order something I won’t like. I have lots of them to order as I will also need shades for the bathrooms, living room and dining room. I might need them for the patio doors in the office. Wish I could find someone that would come to the house to measure and show me samples so I knew what I was ordering was exactly what I want. The new windows don’t have the built-in shades like the ones I have up have. I never liked those shades as they were hard to get to go up and down and were always crooked which drove me crazy.

My chocolate is melted so best go get that job done.

Grateful the chocolate project is almost done. Grateful I got to stay home today and not have to get out on icy roads, and grateful for the beauty of the prairie this morning.

The newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs is ready to go to the post office Monday morning. Kathy, Sharon, Vickie and Jaque all came over and helped me get the job done this morning. We got started around 10:00 and were done by 2:00. We even took an hour and had some soup and corn bread followed by fudge and peanut brittle. I so appreciated their help. They made a job feel more like fun.

The window guys decided not to come today. The weather forecast was a bit iffy and they come down from Topeka. I’m glad they didn’t come today – it would not have been a fun day for them to be outside or to have a hole in the house that would let all the cold air in. There is a rather brisk, cold wind today. Next week is calling for temperatures in the upper 50’s and lower 60’s and will be a much better temperature range to work in.

I have a big pile of boxes that need to go to recycling Monday when I take the newsletters to the post office. I grabbed a couple of the boxes and put my Christmas things that I am taking to Craig’s house a week from tomorrow.

I brought up 12 eggs from the girls today. It was cold walking down there today. The girls were outside though but wisely staying out of the wind. I sold three dozen eggs today so it was good I got a dozen from the girls today. I may bake some cookies tomorrow and will need a few eggs for that.

Decided I better do my chocolate day either tomorrow or Sunday. I don’t think I want to be working on them while they are replacing windows in the dining room and living room next week. Who knows what might blow in and get on the candy. I don’t have anything on my calendar this weekend so I can get that project done.

Will still need to make another batch or two of fudge and peanut brittle and maybe some Christmas sugar cookies and then I will be done. When Christmas gets closer I will make some New Year’s Cookies and another batch of fudge and peanut brittle to take to my two brothers in Lebo. That is the only thing I give them for Christmas.

One day early next week I will need to go to Emporia and go see the Chiropractor again as well as deposit a check. I also need to stop and talk to the insurance agent and find how what their quote is for house insurance for next year. Other than that I don’t have anything on my calendar for next week. The window guys will be here all week finishing up their job. Kathy will be glad when they are done so she can park in the garage again. They are using her side of the garage as their work station and storage unit.

Friday I will need to bake a cheesecake and pack the car up for the trip to Wichita on Saturday. I will need to stop in Emporia on the way and pick up Ellexia’s birthday cake I ordered. Not sure if anyone else will be riding down with me or not.

I am hoping this week I can get the tea towels I stamped out and get started on those. I don’t have much else to do and that would give me something to do while the window guys are here. I’m a bit anxious to see how they do the big windows on the west side of the house and the three very high windows. I wouldn’t want to have to be on a tall ladder and repair woodwork trim around those windows.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed today looking at my blank calendar for the next couple of months. I need to find something to put on it. Too much empty space time is not good for my soul. Hard for me to find the right balance of free time versus scheduled time sometimes.

Grateful the newsletter got done so quickly today with all the good help that came, grateful for the fellowship we shared as we worked together today, and grateful it is going to warm up next week.

The window guys came around 9:00 this morning. They got the three windows in the guest bedroom, the window above the kitchen sink and the three in the master bedroom replaced today. They are cleaning up and then are heading out as the prairie is receiving a light rain. I doubt they will be back tomorrow as it is to rain/wintery mix most of the day tomorrow. Next week looks warmer and drier so they will be back then to finish up this project.

I like the looks of the new windows. I was concerned I had made the wrong choice but these will work nicely. I was a bit disappointed that the window above the kitchen sink isn’t a slider. I thought we had talked about that one being a slider. I like the look of the mini picture window but it sure would have been nice to be able to open it. Oh well, I can live with it the way it is. I couldn’t open the one that was there before so I’m not used to it being open anyways.

The guy is very courteous as is his son that works with him. I enjoy hearing their conversations. They both honor and respect the other and work well together. It sure will be nice when they get completely done.

I picked up the remaining supplies for the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter I am working on. I have a couple people coming to help tomorrow. We could use another couple sets of hands. We are going to start around 10:00 in the morning. I am fixing some soup for lunch and I am hoping we will be done by mid-afternoon. Come for part or all of the day. We always have lively conversation while we work and it makes the work go by quickly.

I made a batch of peanut brittle last night. I think it turned out OK. It was crunchy and broke up into pieces like it is supposed to. I’ll have to wait for another sunny day to make another batch of it as well as one or two more batches of fudge.

The temperature has begun dropping as the rain moved in. It is only lightly raining but I will take whatever moisture I can get. It is to rain most of the rest of the day and into tomorrow. As the temperature drops it may turn into a wintery mix. Trusting it won’t turn to sleet and ice. I don’t have anywhere to go this weekend so will stay home where it is nice and dry and warm.

The window guys are doing a good job of cleaning up behind themselves. I will have to clean the whole main floor when they get done but so far it isn’t as dusty as I thought it might get. That may change when they take the huge windows out of the west side of the house next week. That will create a big hole for the dirt and dust to blow in through. Maybe this rain will quiet the dust down and it won’t be bad.

Haven’t felt too motivated to do much today. I did get one set of the Newsletters stuffed and completed. This small set had to be treated a bit differently than the others and it was easier to get it done and out of the way before help arrives tomorrow. Hoping I will get a box or two stuffed tonight to give us a head start for tomorrow. There aren’t many pieces to this one so it will go fast.

Need to get brave and venture down and take care of the chickens. They haven’t come out of their coop much today. Usually when they stay inside most of the time, they eat more food than when they are outside part of the day. The slackers are cutting down how often they lay eggs but are eating more food.

Good day to curl up with a warm blanket, a hot cup of tea and read a good book. For some reason on rainy days like this one I feel small and a bit vulnerable. It is foggy out and the world feels small to me right now. Think I will sit with the cocoon feeling for the rest of the day and turn inward. Mother Nature is a wonderful teacher and seems to be inviting me to join her today and go deep inside.

Grateful the window project is underway, grateful for the moisture falling on the prairie, and grateful for this chance to turn inward.

The window guys showed up around 9:15. There are only two of them. So far they have put in two windows in the garage, although both windows still have some finishing work that needs done to them. They are working on replacing three in the guest bedroom now. I think that is all they will get done today. They have found some rot they have had to fix already and they haven’t gotten to the windows that have leaked badly.

I think they are coming back tomorrow but doubt that they will be here Friday as it is to rain most of the day. They will be around most of next week – if not all of the week and then some. I will have to clean the whole main floor when they are done. The snow has created lots of mud and although they are doing their best not to track in, it is happening. They make lots of noise and dust too.

I’m grateful this project is underway and will be done in a week or two. It feels like it has dragged on for a long time since the hail storm the middle of August.

I went to Cottonwood Falls this afternoon and dumped the recycling. The trailer was already half full but I had plenty of room to dump the six tubs I took. I’m grateful I didn’t fall on my ass as it was muddy and slick around the trailer.

Stopped at the post office and picked up the trays I need to do the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter tomorrow and Friday. I had to wait a bit as the lady was having computer issues and struggled to get the guy in front of me completed.

Then I went to Kansas Graphics and picked up what they had done. I will go tomorrow around noon and pick up the rest of the mailing material. I will also go to the Chamber office and pick up the glue sticks and other stuff I will need. One of the volunteers is going to Pioneer Bluffs in the morning and is going to bring the supplies I need to the Chamber office for me to pick up. I will work Thursday afternoon and most of Friday to get it done. It should be ready to be mailed by Monday at the latest and there is a chance I will get it done by Friday afternoon. If anyone wants to come help, I would love to have help either Thursday afternoon or anytime on Friday. I will fix some soup for lunch on Friday if you come then.

Only brought up 10 eggs from the girls. That is the least I have gotten since they started laying. Don’t blame them for having a little protest strike. I don’t like cold and wet weather either. Kathy took nine dozen to sell at her work today. That cleaned out my egg stash.

I worked getting the money for the Christmas games put in the little zip bags. I have the hardest time getting those damn little bags open. I am almost done with that little project. I have to take breaks as I can only manage to do a few at a time before I get too frustrated. Sometimes it is the simple things in life that trip me up.

Still haven’t gotten any more treats made but plan on making something when I get done blogging. I think I have decided to wait to do the chocolate things next week so they will be fresher for the 9th. I need to make at least one more batch of fudge if not two, and a batch or two of peanut brittle. It is sunny today so will get one or the other made yet today.

I am a bit sore from going to the Chiropractor yesterday. He warned me I might be. I haven’t had to use ice as it isn’t that sore. Hoping in a time or two with him this will stop happening and I will feel better. Had a really bad headache last night but it is better today.

I took a short nap today. I had woken up at 6:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t go to bed until after midnight so didn’t get much sleep. The nap helped take the rough edge off. I’m grateful I didn’t sleep all afternoon.

Hard to believe Thanksgiving was only a week ago. It feels like it has been a month or more. I keep wanting to type December instead of November. This last week of November seems to have lasted a long time.

Feeling a bit lost today for some reason. The winter is full of empty space for me and feels a bit overwhelming to me today. I need to find some project to work on and somethings to put on my calendar. Too much empty space is not mentally healthy for me. Once Christmas is over the 9th, I don’t have anything else to work on.

Grateful the window replacement project is underway, grateful for naps, and grateful the snow is melting today.

Busy day in Emporia today. I went to the bank and got the denominations in cash that I need for the Christmas games. Stopped at Bobby D’s for lunch. It was good as usual.

I went to the new Chiropractor in Emporia, Joel Cundiff. He has a first time client special for $29 which included the adjustments he did on me today. He has a monthly fee of $59 and you get four adjustments throughout the month for that fee. He doesn’t do appointments except for new patients. You come in during his normal office hours and he takes you in order of first come, first serve.

I signed up for a month of visits and will then decide if I want to continue or not. I liked his approach today and he seemed to find my sensitive spots quickly. I trust he will be able to get me some relief from my constant headaches.

After that visit I got my car washed. Not sure it did much good as V Rd is one big mud pit but the car was clean for a hot minute today while I was in town.

I went into Walmart and picked up the last three Christmas gifts I needed and a few other things I forgot to put on my on-line order. By the time I checked out, my pick-up order was ready to be picked up. I did that and then came home. I forgot I had loaded my car with recycling material and the whole back of my car was full. Luckily I didn’t get many groceries this week and everything fit in the front seat.

Came home and got everything unloaded. Went down and did the chicken chores. The snow melted a lot today and it was easy going today. No dead chickens and 12 eggs from the girls today.

I had to unload some of the recycling so I could load the trash can in the back of the car to take down to the curb. The trash can was extra heavy due to all the Thanksgiving extra stuff. Kathy helped me get it loaded into the car. It is easy to pull out of the car but a bit hard to lift it up into the car.

I picked up the mail and then came in and put all the groceries away. I feel like I have done a days work in that trip to town.

Before I went to town this afternoon I made a batch of fudge. Kathy taste tested it for me and said it was good. I may make a batch of peanut brittle yet tonight and maybe a second batch of fudge. I need a sunny day to do those two things and we are to get some weather the next couple of days and sunshine will be hard to find. If I don’t get them all made, it is to be clear most of next week and I can wait and do it then.

I talked to Nicole today and we have decided to postpone the Himalayan trip until 2025. It was going to be a challenge for Nicole to get it in next year. She has a big trip next spring planned and has a small one planned for September. It would have used up the rest of her vacation time and she likes to save some for emergencies and personal days.

I will look at doing a different walking trip by myself later in 2024. There is one to the Swiss Alps that sounds fun as well as one to Costa Rica. I haven’t been to either of those places so will check those out and decide if either one of those is calling me to come. I need a reason to start exercising and putting something on my calendar would do the trick.

I learned some time ago not to push something if I don’t have a green light all the way. The Himalayan trip felt like I had a yellow flashing light with it for some reason and with Nicole on the fence it felt like we needed to postpone it. I’m good with that. For some reason, I feel like I have a red light on that trip to attempt to going solo. I have to trust my intuition and honor that feeling.

Got a bill from my plumber today. I had sent him a check when I got the bill a month ago. I called him and he said he never received my check. While I was at the bank today I had them check and sure enough the check has not cleared. I will send another check tomorrow. Sure wish the post office would get its act together and deliver what I mail. This is the second check that I have mailed that has vanished. Where do they go? That is the question of the day?.

I woke up around 7:00 this morning. Came out to the living room and was struck by the beauty of the pre dawn light. Took my medication and got dressed and came back out and the light was even more amazing. The sun was just starting to rise. I took a picture of it and when I came back in the house looked west. The west sky was beautiful too with the full moon low on the horizon. I took a picture of it too. Hard to know which way to look – east or west. I love the winter colors of the sunrise and sunsets on the prairie.

I missed the full moon rising last night. I had looked up when the full moon was for November and must have gotten last year’s date as I thought the full moon was last week. I should have known it was yesterday as both Kathy and I had emotional, hard days. I need to trust my inner knowledge better as it was telling me it was the full moon day.

Nothing on my calendar until the Pioneer Bluffs newsletter is ready for me to get it ready to mail. Still some moving parts with that project so not sure when it will be ready. I will keep working on making Christmas treats and then will take a break from those when the newsletter is ready for me to work on.

I just took five and watched the almost full moon rise. It is a beauty tonight. 97% full and bright orange. It will be a beautiful night on the prairie watching the almost full bright moon cast moon shadows on the snow on the prairie.

Feels good to have all my errands taken care of today and one batch of fudge successfully made. It will feel even better to be able to stay home for the next couple of days. I haven’t heard if the window guys will be here tomorrow or not. We are to get a wintery mix the next couple of days so they might not come. Next week we are to be in the upper 40’s during the day and that would be a better week for them to work. I’ll see what happens.

Grateful for the beauty of the rising sun and setting moon this morning and the rising moon tonight. Grateful my Christmas shopping is done, and grateful to have found a competent Chiropractor at a price I can afford.

My get up and go got up and left without me today. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I feel a bit weak and very tired today. Decided I would make this a rest day – as if I had much of a choice. Trusting tomorrow I can get something done.

Going down to do the chickens was much easier today. The snow has melted some and since I have been down and back a couple of times I have a path cut through the deep snow. I just follow my footsteps and I don’t have to break a new path. The girls gave me 14 eggs today which is about normal for them.

Found a dead chicken when I went down today. This one has been hanging around inside the coop for the last two weeks or so. She had lost her comb somehow and I could tell she wasn’t going to make it through the winter. It is still a shock to open the coop door and find a dead one.

I handle disposing of them better than I used to. I keep trash bags down there to put them in. Still not an easy thing to do though. I am down to 26 or 27 now.

Wonder why chickens lose their combs and if there is something I could do to prevent it. I have had another one or two do that and they don’t live for more than a month or so after they lose them.

The windows guys decided not to come today. They are to text me later today and see how conditions are and decide if they are coming tomorrow or not. The weather is to be much warmer next week, although not warm enough for the EFIS guy to work so am going to try to delay them until then. There is still quite a bit of snow on the decks that they will have to shovel off if they decide to come this week. It should be gone by next week.

Kathy shoveled the very top part of the driveway this morning so she can get her car out so she can go to work in the morning. She drove down the driveway to make sure she can get out of it. When they plow the road in front of the house, sometimes they pile the snow so high the cars can’t get out of the bottom of the driveway. She said she was able to get on the road so we should be good to go. The UPS driver had come this morning and cut a path in the driveway – that was nice of him!

Tomorrow afternoon I have a Chiropractor appointment at 3:20 and then I am picking up a grocery order at 4:00. I have a couple of gift cards to get at Walmart and I need to stop at a bank and get the right denomination of bills for the Christmas games. It will feel good to get those ends tied up and done.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon. Not sure why. I have had trouble settling down and staying with anything for very long today. Just one of those days, I guess. I haven’t had one for a bit so maybe I was due one. I’m sure by tomorrow things will be easy again for me.

I talked to one of the insurance agents today that is working up a quote for me. I still need to call the other one and get a second quote. Just not in the mood to do that today. Somedays I can talk on the phone and other days not so much.

Feeling a bit like I have come to a fork in the road. It feels like there is a big decision ahead of me that I will have to make. The only problem is, I have no clue what it might be I have to decide to do. I feel change is on its way to me. Sometimes all I can do is fasten my seat belt and hang on for this ride called life. Things have a way of working out – sooner or later. All is well right here right now so am doing my best to stay present to that. Worry has never helped me solve a problem before and it won’t help to fall into worry now – especially since I don’t know what to worry about!

Grateful I could take a rest day today, grateful the snow is melting, and grateful tomorrow is a new day. All is well! Right here, right now, All is well.

Took a nap yesterday afternoon around 4:30. Fell asleep around 5:00 and didn’t wake up until 12:30 this morning. Whoops! I came out to the living room and watched the almost full moon shine down on the freshly fallen snow. It was a magical and beautiful sight.

I finally took a hot bath and went back to bed around 5:00 and slept until 7:00. It was wonderful to get a good night’s sleep.

I walked down to checked on the chickens this morning. I am grateful for my insulated overalls and knee high muck boots. I walked in snow drifts that went above my knees on the way down. The wind was blowing hard and the snow was blowing all around. I was exhausted by the time I got back up to the house when I was done.

The chickens were all huddled up together keeping each other warm. They had plenty of food. I filled their water container. I picked up seven eggs while I was down there. I will go back down later this afternoon and gather the rest of the eggs.

The wind has finally slowed down a bit and the snow isn’t blowing and drifting so badly. There is water dripping off my roof line so things are melting a bit. It will take a while to get rid of all the snow as we got almost 8 inches. I hadn’t seen this much snow for a long time. It is beautiful but I will be glad when it is gone.

I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. Trusting by Tuesday afternoon when I need to go to Emporia the snow will have melted enough that I can get my car out without having to shovel. We shall see how that works out. It is to be 36 tomorrow and 38 Tuesday so maybe things will melt down a bit.

I have a big batch of Chex Mix baking in the oven. My kiddos love that stuff. I got lazy and didn’t make them any for Thanksgiving this year. They will each get a gallon bag of it for Christmas. It is so nice inside today that I needed to get started making Christmas treats. It is a good day to have the oven on. I’m not hungry this afternoon so this is a good time to make Chex Mix and get it put away without me getting in to it. I love it, especially when it is warm out of the oven. Unfortunately it doesn’t like me as much as I like it. I usually don’t eat grains and that is what Chex Mix mainly is.

Wondering if the window guys will show up tomorrow. They are going to have to shovel snow out of their way to put in windows if they come. I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t show up. There is no rush to get the windows in as the EFIS guy can’t come until it warms up and stays warm for a week or so. If they delay putting the windows in this week, that will be one less week the house will be open to the elements before the EFIS guy can come.

It is to be clear again tomorrow so may try to get a batch or two of fudge made. I need a sunny day to make it and the forecast is showing lots of cloudy days ahead for this week. For some reason, the fudge turns out better when I make it on a sunny day than it does when I make it on a cloudy day. Same thing for peanut brittle. Anyone else ever notice that?

One day this week will be chocolate day. I make peanut butter balls, ritz crackers treats, and pretzels and have to dip them in chocolate. It is easy but takes lots of time and patience. Somedays I can manage that and some days not. It felt too much to take on for me today. One day this week I will get those done.

The dogs are loving this cold weather. I turned the heat lamp on that is in their box in the garage but haven’t seen either one of them come in and get under it. They also have a heated mat in their box. Roxy usually sleeps in it during the night on cold nights. She doesn’t allow Sophia in the box very often. Ellie, the cat is allowed in it and will sleep with Roxy when Ellie doesn’t come in the laundry room at night.

It feels good to have lots of empty space on my calendar for the next week or two. Christmas is less than two weeks away and I am in good shape for it. When I go to town Tuesday, I will get the last couple of things I need and once those things are wrapped I will be done with shopping. I have plenty of time to get the Christmas treats made without rushing. I don’t remember ever being this ready before. Feels nice and lots less stress for me.

I do need to go by a bank Tuesday and get the right size bills for our Christmas games. I need to get them sacked up and the games finished up so they will be ready. I have the rest of the stuff I need for the games on my grocery order I will pick up Tuesday.

I got the name of another insurance agent today so will give them a call tomorrow and get a second bid. I need to call the people that I gave information to last week and see where they are and what questions they still have. I have almost two months before I need new insurance and I want to get it nailed down soon. I anxious to see how much it is going to be.

I have gotten my property tax bills from Lyon County but I haven’t gotten the ones from Chase County yet. They should be here this week. It doesn’t feel right to have to pay them in December along with Christmas. My house insurance is due in January so I alway get a triple whammy with property taxes, Christmas and insurance back to back to back.

I will be working on a mailing for Pioneer Bluffs sometime either this week or more likely next week. When I know for sure when it will be ready I will put out a call for help. It is always more fun to do when there are more hands working on it. It never takes too long and it is good to be of service to them in this small way.

I wonder if my solar panels can generate electricity with snow on them. I have no way of getting on top of the barn to brush the snow off of them. Hoping the snow will melt quickly up there and the panels can help me save some dollars on my electric bill. Winter is the usually the only time I have to pay more than the minimum electric bill as there are lots more cloudy days in the winter time then there are in the summer time. There is lots less daylight during the winter months due to the shorter days too. The solar panels have been a great investment and I have been very pleased with them.

I was able to stay above the neutral level on the consciousness chart yesterday, even being around people for several hours. It is easy to remain high when I am home alone – it is being around lots of people that usually can pull me down. Getting organized for Christmas and eliminating stress around that helps keep my level high too.

Grateful for the beautiful sight of the moon on the fresh snow last night, grateful for lots of sleep last night, and grateful for the delightful smell in the house this afternoon from the Chex Mix cooking.

I went to the old school and volunteered from 10:00 – 1:00 today. I was lucky and got to sit in a heated room. Didn’t have to do much – cleared tables off occasionally but mainly visited with folks. Had a really good conversation with a dear friend.

Met a lady and we got to talking about Chase County roots. Turns out she is related to my step-grandfather’s first wife. He had been married to Betsy Mercer for years and after she died, he married my grandmother. It is a small world.

It started snowing while I was doing my job. There was a window in the room I was in so I could watch the snow fall. There is no wind so it is coming straight down. We probably have an inch on the ground already and are to get up to 4 – 7 before it is done tonight around midnight. With no wind it doesn’t feel too cold out.

I was able to get the snow off my windows using the windshield wipers. I didn’t have to scrap. I came home the highway but was only able to go around 40 mph. The roads are snow covered. Luckily we didn’t get ice first so they aren’t too bad.

Not sure I will be able to get my car out of the garage in the morning if we get the 7 inches amount of snow. Good thing I don’t have anyplace to go until Tuesday afternoon. By then it should be good to go.

I stopped and mailed the Christmas cards as I went through Strong City this morning. I had loaded the car up with recycling material but when I got to the trailer it was too full for me do dump them. Guess they will sit in the car until I can get them back to town next week. With the holiday weekend, I am not surprised the trailer was full.

I have a chiropractor appointment in Emporia Tuesday afternoon. Jason told me about a new one that has come to town and is offering a good rate right now. I keep having headaches and decided I would see if he could help me out. I need to get a few groceries so will take care of both things Tuesday afternoon. Hopefully the roads will be good to go by then.

I have nothing else on my calendar for the weekend. I made a pot of chili before I left this morning so Kathy and I have been enjoying that this afternoon. It was nice to come home to the smell of it cooking. I was able to eat today which is good. I feel back to myself again.

I have lost 15 pounds since I got home from my Europe trip the 23rd of September. It took me four weeks to lose the first 10 but it took four weeks to lose the last 5. At this rate I will be where I want to be the end of March. Oh well, the easy part for me is this phase where I am razor focused on loosing the weight. Once I get it off, I have to keep it off and that is the part I haven’t mastered yet. One day at a time and I will get there.

15 down and 20 to go! I can do this! I can do this!

The sale on the trip to the Himalayas has been continued until Sunday so we haven’t booked it yet. Nicole needed to check her work calendar and make sure she could get the time off. If she has to back out, I still may book it and go solo unless I can find someone to go with me and share a room. It is cheaper for two to go than to book a solo trip but I will do what I have to do. I need some motivation to get my ass moving and this trip will do that.

Wondering if the window people will be able to do their thing Monday if the ground is covered in snow. They didn’t tell me they had any limitations but who knows. I’m kinda expecting them to call me Monday and tell me they won’t be here Monday. Guess we will see what the conditions are Monday and then go from there. No real rush for them to get done as the long-range forecast is not looking good for the EFIS guy to come do his thing once the windows are in.

I will get to put on my winter wear and go down and take care of the chickens in a bit. Wonder how they are liking their first taste of snow. I will have to start refrigerating the eggs as they will be cold when I bring them up. When it gets really cold – like 20 and below – I have to gather eggs a couple times a day so they don’t freeze and break in the coop. They should be OK today as it is only in the low 30’s.

I may get ambitious and start my Christmas treat baking this afternoon. I didn’t sleep well again last night and am tired so may take a nap instead. I have two weeks to get the treats made so I don’t have to push myself. I’ll see how my energy levels are in a bit and then decide what to do.

Sitting in a good spot. I had a very stimulating conversation with a dear friend today. We talked a bit about death and how way too many people are afraid of dying. Behind that fear is the fear that they aren’t good enough and won’t go to heaven. Dang! Our religious culture in this country has really done a number on us and their fear tactics have worked. I don’t believe it works that way but understand I am in the minority.

Grateful for the chance to give back to my community in a very small way, grateful for a crock pot of chili on a snowy day, and grateful I can stay home until Tuesday. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

This has been a rest and recovery day for me. I finished the 6th load of dishes last night and got the kitchen cleaned up. Nice to delete my to-do list for the dinner off my notes. Thanksgiving 2023 is done!

I got most of my Christmas presents wrapped today. I have two more to go and then one more that will need wrapped after it gets delivered. Nice to have that little project completed. I still need to get three gift certificates and then my Christmas shopping is done.

I took a nap late morning. I had woken up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally found my second sleep between 11:00 and 12:30. I’ll take sleep whenever I can find it or it finds me.

We are to get 4 – 7 inches of snow tomorrow afternoon and into the evening. Luckily the wind isn’t to blow much so it might not drift too bad. When I went down to take care of the chickens today, the wind was blowing hard from the north. Man! It has gotten cold. It actually didn’t feel too bad if you were out of the wind but mid 30’s is too cold for me. The dogs are loving this weather.

I have to be at the old school tomorrow at 10:00 to help out. Not sure what I will be doing. I only work till 1:00 so I won’t have to be there long. Hopefully I will get home before the worst of the storm hits. I don’t like driving in icy or snowy roads. I don’t have anywhere I have to go Sunday so when I get home tomorrow I will tuck in and stay for a couple of days

If I remember I need to load up the car and take recycling and dump it in Cottonwood Falls. All my totes in the garage are full and I don’t have anymore space to put more recycling material. That stuff sure piles up quickly. Grateful the city offers a recycling trailer that is fairly easy to use.

I am going to finish my Christmas cards tonight and take them to the post office on my way to Cottonwood Falls tomorrow. It will be good to have that mess off my desk and in the mail. The only thing left on my to-do list for Christmas will be making treats and getting game prizes ready. Making treats is only part of Christmas I enjoy so looking forward to getting started on that. I have most of what I need to get some made next week. When I get groceries next week, I will get the rest of the stuff and get it all made.

Still haven’t felt back to my normal self today. Not sure what happened yesterday but I didn’t eat much and haven’t eaten much today. Hoping by tomorrow whatever this is, will be gone. I am better today than yesterday but have a ways to go yet.

After I get the treats made, I have a couple of people I send a box of goodies to. I will get those boxed up and shipped off early this year. In my mind, Christmas will be over December 9 when the kids and I get together. That will make for a short Christmas season for me. Maybe I will enjoy it more this year.

It is going to be cold in the house while they replace windows. I’m curious how they go about doing it and how much EFIS they have to cut to get the old windows out. Sure trusting I made the right decision on the windows. The amount of money they are costing is overwhelming. Grateful insurance is paying the bulk of it.

The dogs and chickens all enjoyed their Thanksgiving feast. The chickens got potato and veggie scraps and the dogs got turkey. Both had cleaned their plates by this afternoon. The dogs didn’t bother eating much dog food today. They must still be full from the turkey.

I might make some chili or a hamburger soup for tomorrow. Cold weather and snow makes me want soup to eat. It would be nice to come home tomorrow to the smell and taste of fresh soup in the crock pot.

I ordered and received a stand up charger for my smart watch. I kept knocking the other one off my nightstand and I was afraid I was going to break the watch. This is the charger that I had ordered a month ago and got the wrong thing. I asked for a refund on that one and ordered another one. They had it on a Back Friday sale this time and it was $10 off. If I get my money back for the wrong product, that will be a good deal.

Still basking a bit from the love and joy that was shared by all that came yesterday. The day couldn’t have gone better and was a lot of fun for me. I need to find an excuse to host a big group like that more often.

Feels good to have Christmas presents all but wrapped. I don’t like gift giving and wrapping things. I cheated and put most of the things in bags. I did fuss with tissue paper to a degree but barely. Just not my thing! Some people wrap the most beautiful packages – that is not me!

I need to get started doing the embroidery on the tea towels I stamped. That will be relaxing and fun for me. I needed to wait till the house was cleaned and Thanksgiving over before I would let myself start them. Once I get the Christmas cards done, I can bake Christmas treats and when I take a break I can do a tea towel or two. I don’t have a deadline to get them done so no rush to get to them. I just don’t like unfinished projects sitting around.

It is nice to have a clean house. Not sure how much of a mess the window installation will make. May have to clean again when they get done the end of next week. They will be in every room on the main floor replacing windows so the whole main floor may need cleaned again.

Grateful the presents are wrapped, grateful the cards are all but done, and grateful for all the love present in my house yesterday.

And Thanksgiving 2023 is a wrap. I had 19 people around my tables today. Some family, some friends, some strangers but by the time dinner was over we were all friends. Dinner was a smashing success and we had lots of leftovers. Most took some leftovers home and the rest of the leftovers have disappeared. I am washing my fourth load of dishes and have at least two more loads to go and cleanup will be complete.

The weather was perfect for the day. It is sunny on the prairie today. A touch cold as it is in the high 40’s but no wintery roads to deal with. A winter storm is coming in Saturday but it isn’t here yet.

I think I will declare the rest of the day a rest day and sit in my chair and do nothing. It was so fun fixing the feast today. I couldn’t have done it without Kathy’s help. Together we did our magic and got it done.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow. Saturday I am volunteering at a community thing in Cottonwood Falls for a couple of hours. Hoping the roads will be drivable and safe. If not, I will stay home.

Now I can turn my focus to finishing up my Christmas tasks. I still have 10 cards to finish and then I can mail the Christmas cards. I have a pile of presents to wrap or bag and then I can start making Christmas goodies. I have a little over two weeks to get it all done – I can do this!

Nicole and I will make a final decision tomorrow about booking a walking tour in the Himalayan mountains next fall. The trip is on sale this week. We only have to put a small deposit down to hold our space if we decide to book. Trusting this trip will give me the motivation to get my ass moving and get into shape. I need something to make me move. I did it to get ready to go walk the 500 miles on the Camino and can do it again. This time I won’t be walking near as long or as far but it will be high in the mountains which adds a different dimension to it.

I need to get down and take care of the chickens. I have some leftovers for them too. The dogs will get some turkey leftovers. They deserve Thanksgiving dinner too!

Have felt a bit off today. My blood pressure was low for most of the morning and I haven’t been able to eat much today. Not sure what is up with that. Trusting by tomorrow I will be back to my normal self. I got a bit more sleep last night but can’t say I got a good night’s sleep. Starting to feel a bit sleep deprived. Maybe tonight will be the night I can get some good sleep.

The window guys will be here Monday morning. I am grateful that part of the hail restoration project is going to get done. I sure hope the weather warms up later in December so the EFIS guy can come do his thing, It has to be above 40 for 24 hours before he can come and it has to stay above 40 on the days he works. He didn’t say how long the project will take him. Not sure that will happen again before spring but we shall see. Stranger things in KS have happened before.

Next week I need to nail down a new insurance company. I have one company working up a quote and need to get a second quote from someone else. Keith is to send me the name of his independent agent. I still have two months to complete this project but I really want to get it finalized soon. People tend to stop working mid December and I want it done before people start taking their Christmas breaks.

Loved having a full house today. It is so fun to hear the noise happy people generate while they are eating. The day couldn’t have gone any better. So grateful to my friends and family that came. You made my heart happy by your presence.

Grateful for this day to pause and give thanks for all my many blessings, grateful for the love shared today, and grateful for all of you that read and follow my life story. Sending love and light to all!

Very little sleep last night. I ended up fixing some scrambled eggs around 6:00. I don’t usually eat that late and remembered why when I had acid reflux when I went to bed. I was reminded why I started fasting. My body seems to like it much better. I got back up and sat up until 3:00. It finally settled down and I tried to sleep but sleep was very hard to find last night. Gave up around 7:30 and got up. Laid down to take a nap early afternoon but still couldn’t find sleep. Evidently I am not to be sleeping much right now.

Got the jello salad made and the bread broken for the dressing tomorrow. Still need to bake pies but that is my reward for getting my cleaning done. I am almost done cleaning. Just need to do a couple more floors and I will be done.

The furnace guy came today to do the annual fall check on the system. The draft motor (what ever that is) is going out. He can hear a whirling sound that shouldn’t be happening. He said the bearings are going out. They called with the estimate – it is almost $800 to replace and install. Merry Christmas to myself. Not sure that is what I wanted for Christmas. Yikes! I told them to get it ordered as I am afraid if I don’t I will get cold this winter when it finally breaks. I also don’t want a furnace fire from hot bearings.

While he was here he noticed the water booster pump is leaking again. I need to figure out a different solution. We keep replacing the same pump and it only lasts for about six months and then starts leaking. Who is a water booster pump expert that could advise me? My plumber just keeps replacing it with the same thing. Luckily it has been covered by warranty but I need a more permanent solution. I have to pay for the installation each time and it costs me over $100 each time for that. Things like this are beyond my skill set and I find them very frustrating to solve.

The window guy let me know the windows are loaded on a trailer and they will be here bright and early Monday morning to start the install. He estimates it will take all week to get them in. Not sure how big of a crew he is sending but I am guessing it will take longer. They are the experts though so we shall see. Trusting the weather stays dry and they can get this job done next week. This project has dragged on long enough. Still need to get the EFIS repaired when the windows get done and then the new guttering goes up after the EFIS is done. Next spring insurance will pay for the deck to get repainted.

Days like this make me want to sell this house and find some where else to live. This house drains my bank account regularly. Guess any house has that potential but I am on a roll lately and not a good one. Tired of making these decisions and forking out money left and right. I would much rather take that $800 and do something fun with it.

Trying to figure out timing on cooking the turkey. I need it done by 11:00 so I have oven space to fix the rest of the meal. The turkey has not thawed much in the refrigerator and will need a bit longer to cook than normal. May have to set an alarm for the middle of the night and get up around 4:00 to put it in the oven. I want to make sure it is well done. Raw turkey is not good!

As I started a load of dishes this morning I wondered how many loads I will do today and tomorrow. I bet I will do at least four more and maybe five. Grateful for a dishwasher. I have the ability to dirty more dishes than most cooks do. Not sure why but that is how I do things, I guess.

Sitting with a bit of frustration over the house issues this afternoon. Wish I knew more about this type of thing. I don’t know what questions to ask and can only depend on my expert’s opinions. I get really tired of keeping this house going though. It is only 20 years old – how do people do this with old houses? This one has been a huge challenge for me. I don’t remember this happening in the other houses I lived in.

Then I sit in my chair and look out over the prairie at the beautiful view and remember why I keep at it and stay here. I absolutely love the views this house offers and know that if I moved to town it would be a very hard adjustment for me. Guess I will keep at it here until I can’t anymore.

Three people that were coming tomorrow just cancelled. If you need a place to eat dinner, I have table space for you. We are eating at 1:00. Come as you are – no need to bring anything.

So excited about tomorrow. I can’t think of anything I love better than having a full house of people to feed. I think there will be 21 people here now. Love that so many are coming. It will be fun in the morning fixing all the trimmings to go with the ham and turkey. The conversation around the tables will be rich and fun. I love the sound of laughter ringing through the house.

Nicole and I may book the walking tour to the Himalayas Friday. The booking company has a Black Friday sale going on. We were waiting to book it until it was on sale. Man! That means next week I have to start at the gym and the game is on! I will have almost a year to get this couch potato body into top shape. I think I can! I think I can!

I realized last night getting my body into shape is the easy part. The hard part is convincing my brain that I can do this. Fear rears its ugly head and tries to tell me I can’t do this. I didn’t listen when I went to Spain to walk the 500 mile Camino. I need to keep reminding myself not to listen this time either. I will be 71 when I go and I keep telling myself 71 is not too old to walk in the Himalayan mountains.

Maybe this trip means I will go to Colorado next summer and get some mountain training in. Anyone want to ride along on a trip to Colorado with me to hike in the mountains? I would love the company. I won’t be going to the Himalayans until late fall so can go to Colorado anytime during the summer – preferably later than earlier. Maybe I could talk Tagen into going with me. He likes to hike and would challenge me. His legs are a lot longer than mine are and he walks faster than I do.

Still staying above the neutral level on the consciousness scale. I felt myself dipping for a bit today – primarily from lack of sleep. Maybe I will get a good night’s sleep tonight and be really good to go tomorrow. Have felt a bit more motivated to do things than yesterday so that is good. Don’t have a lot more I have to get done today so may go to bed early and get a fresh start in the morning. Can’t wait till the smell of turkey fills the house.

Grateful Thanksgiving is tomorrow, grateful for this beautiful fall day, and grateful I have the money in the bank to pay for house repairs.

This has been one of those days. No motivation to do anything and all I wanted to do was eat. I decided to give myself a cheat day but I no longer have food in the house that is not on my plan. Ended up having a spoonful of peanut butter, some popcorn, a few cashews and two bananas for lunch. How is that for cheating? Dang it anyways. Not sure what I was looking for to cheat with but that wasn’t it.

Still need to finish up my cleaning. I did get the chickens taken care of and the trash to the curb and picked up the mail. Essentials done at least!

I only have 10 more Christmas cards to finish up and then they can be put in the mail. I will take them to the post office Friday and drop them off and cross that Christmas task off my to-do list.

I still have the rest of the day to find some motivation to clean and I have all day tomorrow. Good thing I don’t have to pass the white glove test on Thursday. Hoping the house will be crowded enough that no one will notice the layer of dust and dirt that I might not get cleaned up before then. My windows really need washed but since they are getting replaced next week don’t think I will bother.

Tomorrow I get to start cooking. I will bake a few pumpkin pies, break the bread for the dressing and make a jello salad. I will have Kathy help me bring up a long table from downstairs so I can get it set up for Thursday. We will need all the tables in the dining room plus a table set for eight more. Love having a full house for Thanksgiving dinner. I still have a card table or two I can set if anyone else wants to join us. We are eating at 1:00. No need to bring anything – come as you are.

It is in the mid 40’s and very windy on the prairie today. At least the sun is shining so it didn’t feel that cold when I did the chickens. The wind is wearing me out though. Not sure where it is blowing to but it is in a hurry to get there. It is to warm up a bit the rest of the week but then get cold again next week.

The guys are to come to install the new windows next week. Wonder how cold it can be and they can still work? The house is going to get cold as they take a window out and replace it. Not sure how long it takes to install windows. Thinking they will be here all week and maybe longer but I could be wrong. They have lots of them to do.

Next week I will start making some Christmas treats. I will need them all done by December 9 so have to get started soon. I will need a sunny day to make fudge and peanut brittle. Don’t plan on making lots of stuff this year as the kids don’t eat as much of it as they used to. I sure don’t eat any of it but I love making it. I will send Gene a box of it as part of his Christmas gift. He enjoys it and shares it with his friends.

I still need to wrap all the Christmas gifts and get the final items for the games we are going to be playing. I have two weeks from Saturday to get it all done and it will be here before I know it. I do not like last minute things these days so like to be done plenty ahead of time. I don’t move as fast as I used to and it stresses me out to wait till the last minute. Doing my best to avoid as much stress as possible these days.

Addressing Christmas cards always puts me in a nostalgic mood. I think of each person I send a card to and always think of a fun memory about them. I have let too much time pass and have not reached out to some of the people on my list. I love catching up with them when given the chance. One of the problems of blogging is that people know what I am up to but forget I have no idea what they are up to.

I have gotten several reminders lately about not taking more time to do things for granted. One never knows what the rest of the day or tomorrow might bring. I’ve had three dear ones pass away this past month or so. I know of several others that are fighting serious health battles. It reminds me how important it is for me to reach out and connect with those I love and care about. Can’t think of anything more important to do.

The chickens gave me 15 eggs today. I have only been getting barely a dozen a day lately – the slackers. They won’t molt this year as they are not old enough for that but they do decrease their egg production during the darker and colder days. For the first time in a long time I have had requests for more eggs than I have on hand. They were piling up for a bit and I couldn’t find homes for them. How things have changed! Wish they weren’t eating as much in exchange for less eggs but they seem to be eating even more.

Grateful for today and for being alive, grateful for what eggs the girls are giving me, and grateful for a restful day.