Starry night on the prairie

Good bye January. Can’t say I am sorry you are leaving us. It was a brutal month for me on several fronts. Looking forward to a fresh month tomorrow.

A friend came over this morning and we worked on her Advanced Directives. It was a fun session for me and I think it went well. She is going to do some homework and then we will meet up again for another session. It is a lot to take in and she needs some processing time to make sure she knows what her final wishes are. Good thing they can be changed at a later date without much fuss if that becomes needed. It felt good to be in service today.

Someone came over this afternoon with a proposal for me. If we can come to terms, it will cause me to make a major life change. Not sure how close we are to making a deal. Both sides have some homework to do and get some more information so each can make the right decision for them. We will visit again soon and see where we are. Exciting to think of the possibilities but I keep grounding myself knowing this may not happen.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to take care of several things. I have a haircut at 10:45 and that will be my first stop of the day. The furnace repair guy is to come tomorrow so hoping he shows up before I have to leave for town. I really want to be here when he is here so I can explain what is going on with the banging noise. It doesn’t happen all the time and with my luck it won’t happen when he is here. I did make a video of it so he can hear it in case it doesn’t bang while he is here.

We had another beautiful spring-like day on the prairie again. We reached the high 60’s again. I was out walking in the yard this afternoon and I didn’t need a coat on. Sure is muddy though. I still have some snow that hasn’t completely melted although it is dissolving more every day. Sure doesn’t feel like late January with temperatures like this.

Did some house cleaning this afternoon. I still have lots more to do but got some of it done today. I’m waiting to do the floors until it isn’t so muddy out. I seem to be tracking in and adding to the mess daily. I haven’t let the dogs back in so they have stopped adding to it. Sophia was begging me to let her come in this afternoon but I held firm and said no. I’m going to try to break that habit sooner rather than later.

Tomorrow after I get back from town I have to finish up my tax homework. I need to schedule a meeting with the coordinator and get that project wrapped up. I’m so grateful doing taxes is much easier than the prep work to get to that point. Still don’t know when I start doing them but I guess I will find out sooner or later.

I think I get to stay home Friday unless I have to go meet with the tax prep coordination. Saturday and Sunday I have Celebration of Life Services to go to. Luckily next week looks pretty empty.

Doing my best to stay present with what is tonight. It is easy for me to get ahead of myself and then set myself up for a major disappointment if things don’t work out how I hope they will. I have had several lessons on trusting the Universe to work things out in my best and highest favor and I am leaning on that tonight. I don’t have to know what that is in this moment.

Grateful to have been in service today talking about Advanced Directives, grateful the house is fairly clean, and grateful for another spring like day on the prairie.

I am so ready for January to be over. One more day! Trusting February will bring better luck to me and will be a smoother path. January was a huge challenge for me on several fronts.

I have worked on my tax homework a bit today. Got through one problem but have a mistake somewhere as one of my answers isn’t listed in the multiple choice answers the book has. The second problem has me totally lost and confused. I will do the other problems and then I will have to get help with this one. It is a situation where we will not be doing anyone’s taxes that are like this. Still don’t understand why they test us over situations we won’t see.

The rooster tried to come after me today when I was taking care of the girls. I kept the empty water bucket between me and him and he finally stomped off to the other side of the coop. I’m going to take a ball bat down there and leave it in the coop so I can go after the bastard if he does that again.

I called the heating guy to come out and see if he can discover why there is a banging noise in the furnace duct work. It seems to be moving around and comes from different places. Sometimes I think there are spirits that live in this house and mess with me. We shall see what he finds. I requested the only repair guy that I trust – Justin. He can solve problems no one else can. He is to come either Wednesday afternoon or sometime on Thursday.

I got the garage cleared of trash and the trash taken down to the curb. Kathy had taken some down last week after we missed two weeks of taking it down. Still had a pile of trash that needed bagged up and the area around it cleaned up. Feels so good to have that cleaned up and gone. I will need to dump recycling and then the garage will be back to normal.

Had someone contact me today out of the blue and is coming to talk to me tomorrow. If I decide to do what they are asking my life will turn upside down for a bit. Not sure that will happen but I can’t look away and not entertain the possibility of a big change. I’ll see how tomorrow goes and go from there.

The funds for the windows got deposited into my account overnight. What a relief that is! I had stretched myself too thin financially for a while and was uncomfortable with the hole I had gotten into. Grateful to be out of that hole for a bit. Trusting the rest of the hail damage will proceed as planned without any more unexpected financial issues. Enough already!

I have a friend coming over tomorrow so we can work on her advanced directives. That will be a fun morning for me. I’m grateful to be able to be in service to others and help them through this process.

Thursday morning I have to go to Emporia for a haircut, a Chiropractor visit, drop my taxes off to my accountant and get some groceries. I also need to go by the Vet’s office and get some HeartGuard as I forgot that last time I was there. Both Saturday and Sunday I have Celebration of Life Services to go to. Friday I should be able to stay home and have a quiet day.

Next week I have a routine doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and I am hosting a Final Wishes Workshop on Saturday/. This week will be my last free week before I start doing taxes and exercising. I will pay special attention to my empty space that week and soak it in as I won’t have near as much of that starting the following week.

This has been another spring like day on the prairie. It reached 60 today with bright blue skies and little wind. I had a coat on doing the chicken chores and it was too heavy for me. We are to stay like this for the next couple of days. It is giving me a bad case of spring fever.

We are going to have four days in a row of temperatures staying above 40 all day and night. Too bad two of those are on the weekend and the EFIS guy won’t work then. Next week we are going down to the low 50’s for the high and the high 30’s for the low.

The window guys came this morning and took the plastic off the two windows they installed yesterday. They didn’t come to the door to let me know they were here. What a waste of manpower that they had to send them back just for that.

Sitting here thinking of the way the Universe works. I am learning very slowly to trust it more and know that it has my back in all ways. I have always liked to know the next three steps ahead of me and what my options are but am learning it isn’t always in my best interest for me to know that. Doing my best to learn how to stay present with what is and allow that to be enough.

Grateful the trash is out of the garage at long last, grateful the rooster didn’t get me today, grateful for this beautiful spring like day on the prairie, and grateful for possibilities that lay ahead of me.

This has been a weird day of sorts. I knew the window guys were coming this morning but not sure when. I woke up a little before 8:00 and decided I better get up and get ready in case they showed up early. I didn’t sleep well last night and was still tired but I got up.

The guys didn’t show up until after 9:15. They came and installed the remaining two windows. I had to go to Cottonwood Falls to get my oil changed while they were here but they were still here when I got home. I was tired so decided to get away from their mess and noise and go lay down. I fell asleep and when I got up they were gone. They kinda cleaned up their mess but they forgot to take the plastic off the windows. The two windows they installed today are the real tall ones in the hallway. There is no way I am going to climb on the roof and get to them to take the plastic off. I sent a text to the manager and told them someone is going to have to make a special trip from Manhattan to take care of that. I haven’t heard back from him yet. Sometimes I scratch my head at the things people do and wonder how they let something like that slip.

I got an email from the insurance adjuster and he has requested the remainder of the funds to pay for the windows. I will be getting an email later today or tomorrow that I will respond to and then the funds will be processed. It took him four weeks to get that to me. Grateful he honored his word when I got hold of him last week and he got it to me today.

Took care of the chickens. They seemed happier with their fresh linens, or maybe it was just my nose that was happier when I opened their coop door and didn’t get assaulted with a foul odor. Either way, it was much more fun doing chores today.

Dieker Oil did a great job changing my oil. It is always nice driving off in a clean car. They sure make getting my oil changed a pleasant experience and I know my car is in good hands each and every time I go there.

It has warmed up to 58 today! Spring like day on the prairie. I had a coat on to do the chickens and almost didn’t need it. The wind is even calm today. I could take days like this the whole month of February.

I ended up making spaghetti and meat balls for Tagen and Lily last night. It amazes me how much that kid can eat. We had a big lunch and by 5:30 he was hungry again. I sent the leftovers home with him. I did six loads of dishes yesterday and finished them up today. It was work but a lot of fun to fix two meals for Tagen and Lily yesterday.

Plan on working on my AARP tax homework later this afternoon. I think I have brain power to do it today. If not, I am free all day tomorrow and will get it finished up then. This has been one of those days where I don’t feel my head and body are flowing as one.

Grateful I have a free day at home tomorrow. I have a small list of things that I need to get done around here and that will give me the time to take care of things. I’m grateful I can get all the trash down to the curb tomorrow. Kathy took a wheelbarrow full of it last week but there is still some carried over from when we couldn’t get it down to the curb for two weeks. It will be good to get the garage cleaned up a bit. I have someone coming over Wednesday morning for end of life planning and need to go to town Thursday for a haircut, to go to the Chiropractor and to drop off my 2023 income taxes to my accountant. I’ll also pick up some groceries Thursday and take care of another errand or two. It will be good to be able to stay home the next two days before that.

It felt good to get the window replacement project crossed off my pending list today. Next big project is the EFIS repair. That should happen in March. After that I can get the guttering replaced and the deck painted and then the hail damage project from last August will be completed. Dang, that turned into a bigger project and has taken longer than I would have expected. Grateful projects like that don’t happen too often. I’m not good with projects that depend on others to do something before the next thing can happen.

Trusting that February will be an easier month for me than January was. It felt like in January I kept hitting pothole after pothole and kept having to put out fires around here. I survived it all and am trusting that I will be able to catch a break soon and get some smoother sailing weather.

Grateful the window project is complete, grateful for fresh oil in the clean car, and grateful for the time I got to spend with Lily and Tagen yesterday.

Tagen and Lily came out for lunch. Jason and Kathy joined us in eating chicken strips, green beans and macaroni and cheese. After lunch Tagen and I went down to the chicken coop. We worked for about 25 minutes and it was game time so took a break to watch the first half. We went down at half time and finished up the job.

We had six wheelbarrows full of smelly, wet straw. It was very heavy as it had gotten wet. Tagen struggled to lift it up. I’m not sure how long it would have taken me if I had tried to do the whole job. What a relief it is to have that job done. As we left the girls were inside rearranging the straw to their liking. I will add a touch more straw tomorrow after they get this first layer packed down a bit. We shouldn’t have to clean it out again until spring.

Tagen and Lily are going to stay and watch the second game of the day today and then come out on Super Bowl Sunday to watch the game. Tagen can’t get it at his house. Since they are staying to watch the game this evening, I’ll have to come up with something for dinner for them.

I baked a double batch of chocolate chip cookies for them this morning. I was going to make Tagen’s favorite dessert but I didn’t have any Cool Whip. He asked me if I could make it this afternoon. I told him next time I go to town I will get some and make him a pan and bring it to him. He earned it today.

I got notice from my on-line bank that the tax form I need to complete my taxes is ready to be printed. I will get that printed off and then get my tax package to my accountant. She rarely gets to them before March but at least she has them if she gets a chance to work on them before that. It always feels good to hand them off. I didn’t have a good profit year with the rentals so am not expecting to have to pay taxes this year. I was hoping to have gotten one of the rental houses sold last year as I knew it would have been a good tax year to have that happened but it didn’t work out that way. What is that saying – Life is what happens when you are busy making plans.

The window guys are coming tomorrow to install the last two windows. I have to take my car in at 10:00 to get the oil changed. I’m hoping tomorrow afternoon I can spend some time working on my tax homework. I need to get at that and get the tests taken later this week. Not sure when we start doing taxes but I know it is coming up soon.

The sound coming from the furnace room has stopped for the most part. It hammered for about ten minutes last night and finally stopped, started again but only went for a couple of minutes, stopped again and then did two more taps and hasn’t gone again. I heard the same sound but not as loud coming from a different place this morning but it only went for a few taps and stopped. Sure hope that is the end of that. Curious minds want to know what was causing the sound and if something needs to be done.

I do need to call the heater guys that I had go to Michelle’s house a week ago. They didn’t fix the problem with Ellexia’s room being so cold. I was really disappointed in them when I got the bill and read that all they did was open a register. We had tried that and that wasn’t the problem. Wonder what they will say and do.

Slowly but surely my pending list of things to get done and follow up on is getting smaller. I have had a run of issues to deal with and it feels good to be working my way through most of it. Still need to get the siding of the house repaired and the guttering replaced but that has to wait for warmer weather. It sure will be a relief when all the hail damage is taken care of. I have been a bit overwhelmed lately with all the issues I have had to deal with. It is time to turn the corner and change my luck around here.

We reached the low to mid 50’s on the prairie today. The snow is really melting and we have enjoyed every minute of the sunshine today.. The path down to the chicken coop is wet and muddy. I was surprised I didn’t have trouble with the wheelbarrow picking up lots of mud in the coop. We have a chance for some light snow overnight but then it is to warm up again tomorrow. I am getting a bad case of spring fever. This has been a brutal winter so far and February can often add a punch. At least February is a short month and March will be here before I know it.

Grateful for Tagen’s help today, grateful the chickens coop smells better, and grateful for the sunshine today.

I don’t think I found more than two hours of sleep last night. It was a long night! Sure wish I could figure out what causes nights like that and what to do about it. Sleep is not something that comes easy to me.

Kathy and I went to Emporia a little after noon today to attend a Celebration of Life service. The service was beautifully done. We both wondered on the way home how people that have such a difficult beginning in life can turn into one of the most caring, loving people you would ever want to meet. What an act of courage that takes!

Ellexia texted me last night and asked if I still have a salt lamp that she could have. I felt like a hip grandma when I was able to tell her yes. Not every grandma has a salt lamp!

There is a rhythmic pounding sound that is happening in the house. It is coming from the aluminum pipe above the furnace. It doesn’t happen every time the furnace turns on but some times. Sometimes it keeps hammering even when the furnace has turned off. It sounds like water dripping on an aluminum pipe or else someone taking a hammer to it. It is very rhythmic. Lasts for 30 seconds to a minute. There is some sort of wire box hanging from the pipe with a wire from it leading to the furnace. I can’t find any evidence of water dripping somewhere it doesn’t belong. Anyone have any ideas what is going on and how to make it stop hammering? I am going to have to call the heater guy Monday if I can’t make it stop.

It felt dang cold when I went down to take care of the chickens today. Some of them were huddled together on the roosting bars inside the coop. They gave me 20 eggs today for my troubles.

We had a light coating of ice this morning that thankfully had melted off by the time I went to town. Come on warmer weather. I am ready for some 40’s and lower 50’s next week. Sure hope it warms up a bit tomorrow so Tagen and Jason can get the chicken coop cleaned out for me.

I was talking to Jason last night about the exercise class and was telling him the four different options that I could be placed in. Before I told him which class I was in, he said I hope you got put in the core class. Hmmmm….. there is obviously something to this class that I don’t understand. Trusting it is the one that will be most helpful to me.

Still haven’t gotten to my tax problems. I was going to work on them this afternoon but without much sleep last night I’m not sure that is a good idea. I may possibly get to them in the morning, if I get sleep tonight.

Trying to decide if I should go take a nap or just wait another couple of hours and go to bed early. I am starting to feel very sleep deprived.

I am beginning to realize my life is going to get busy in the next two weeks and stay that way for a bit. Between doing taxes several days a week and going to the gym three days a week I am going to be out and about much more than I have been for a long time. Trusting I am ready for that and can handle it all. It will be a good test for me to see if I can maintain my consciousness level at or above neutral for days at a time even when I don’t have stay at home days.

Grateful for the love that was shared at the Celebration of Life Service today, grateful I had a salt lamp for Ellexia and she can consider me a cool G, and grateful I can go to bed when ever I chose to today.

No pain! Yay! My tooth is not hurting at all today. I can eat and chew whatever I want and no pain! I trust this will continue and the root canal worked.

I went to Emporia around 3:00 this afternoon. Made a stop at Bluestem to get some S hooks to hang up the chicken feeder, dog food, heat lamp base and lamps and some cottonseed hulls for the nesting boxes in the chicken coop. They had the type of dog food I needed so I got three bags. I am so grateful they load the heavy stuff into the car from the back dock for me. I can easily unload them but struggle to load them.

Went through the car wash on my way downtown to go to the Chiropractor. V Road is so muddy I’m not sure it does much good but the car looks nice while I am in town at least.

Had to wait about 10 minutes at the Chiropractor. He did his thing on me and then I headed to the coordinator of the tax program’s house to pick up some testing material I needed. I got that picked up and then headed to Walmart to pickup my grocery order.

I had gotten a text from Walmart around 2:00 letting me know the stock levels of the dog food I had ordered was low and ask what I might want to substitute for it. I chose no substitutions and picked some up from Bluestem. They had it in stock so now I have 5 bags of dog food. That will last a month or so. Everything else I ordered was in stock so I was good to go home.

Came home and got things unloaded and the chicken chores done. The girls gave me 20 eggs today. I’m grateful I changed into my muck boots as it is one icky, muddy mess both in the coop and on the path down. One of the things I picked up at Bluestem was some S hooks. I use them to hang the feeder on a chain that hangs down. The feeder doesn’t work well unless it is hanging. The chickens sometimes have a party and get wild and knock the feeder off the S hooks. The hook then gets covered in the muck in the pen. I got a couple extras to have on hand. When I went to hang them up in the feed door of the coop, I discovered I still had one. I thought I had looked a couple days ago for it but hadn’t seen it. Have plenty of them now!

I’m fixing Jason a tuna noodle casserole for his dinner tonight. Good comfort food for a rainy, icky day.

Tomorrow I am going to a Celebration of Life service at 1:00 for a dear friend’s husband. I don’t think I have anything else I need to do in Emporia tomorrow. I took care of all my errands today.

The KU Research program called today and got me scheduled for my first exercise class and orientation for February 12. I got put into the one class I was hoping not to be put into. This class is a core strengthening class that uses stretch bands, yoga, etc. I wanted to be in either the strength class or conditioning class or the class that combined those two.

I asked the lady that called today if I can do strength and conditioning on my own. She gave me an interesting answer. Their preference is no but I can continue whatever I have been doing. However, she said if I take off the Fitbit they will never know about it. Don’t ask – don’t tell! I’ll see what happens. I really want to get fit enough to do a walking trip later this year or next year and I’m not sure core strength will do it for me.

The Universe works in mysterious ways and I know it has my back so evidently the class I was put into is the class that will benefit me the most. She said the class helps with fall prevention and balance. Haven’t had an issue with either. The class may do more for me than I think it will.

The research program is trying to determine if it makes a difference what type of exercise people do to help prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s. They randomly put you in one of four groups – one is core strength, one is conditioning, one is strength training and one is a combination of conditioning and strength. I don’t want to throw off their results but I also don’t want to wait a year before I start conditioning training. Maybe core training will provide what I need enough to do a hard walk in the mountains. We shall see.

At least now I have a start date for the exercise program. It has taken me months to get to this point. I think I had my first interview back in July last year. Feels good to have gotten to this point and I trust this program will have some good results for me.

I sent an email to my insurance adjuster asking him if he was OK. I had sent him the invoice for the windows on January 5 and a follow-up email ten days later and hadn’t heard from him. He responded today that he had gotten swamped with people that had frozen pipe water damage and he promised to get me some money the first of the week. We shall see if he does so. At least I heard back from him this time.

If weather permits the window guys are coming Monday to install the last two windows. It will be good to have that project done. The weather strip they ordered for the window that had snow blow in is still not here but they said they would come install it another day.

I have to take my car in to get the oil changed Monday morning. It is overdue for an oil change. Wednesday a friend is coming over to do her advanced directives. I’m looking forward to that session. Thursday I am getting my hair cut and going to the Chiropractor. Next Saturday I have another Celebration of Life Service to go to as well as one on Sunday afternoon. Sounds like it is going to be a busy week.

It might be a good thing I am having to get out several days next week. That will help ease me into getting out more when I started exercising and doing taxes. Not sure when the tax thing starts and I’m not sure what days and evening that happens. Good thing I am retired and it doesn’t matter!

I rescheduled the Advanced Directives workshop that I had to cancel a week or so ago due to icy weather. The new one is scheduled for February 10. Trusting the weather will cooperate this time and I can hold it as scheduled. The cost is $25 and will give you a good start on completing the forms required to document your final wishes. I am a notary so can take care of that if you get that far.

Feel like I move up a step or two on the consciousness ladder today. It is amazing how much easier things are when you are pain free. Even going to town didn’t bring me down today.

Grateful I am pain free today, grateful the research program gave me a start date today, and grateful I got my errands taken care of today.

I had a great deal of difficulty finding sleep last night. Don’t think I slept for more than three hours all night. I must have been keyed up from the trauma of getting the root canal done yesterday and the drive home. Makes for a long day when I can’t sleep.

I called the coordinator of the meeting I was to go to tonight and told her I wasn’t going to be able to make it. I need a day at home to recover and regroup. I’ve had to be gone everyday this week and have reached my people limit for a bit. I was going to go to town today and get some errands taken care of but just don’t have it in me to do so.

The pain is much better today, although this afternoon it is starting to ramp up a bit. The dentist told me 24 hours after is when things can ramp up again so he cautioned me to take ibuprofen even though I didn’t think I needed it today. It certainly is not near the pain I had before. This is more like soreness from them irritating the gum and jaw during the procedure. I can handle this!

I will have to go to town tomorrow to go to the Chiropractor and pick up some groceries. I still need dog food and a heat lamp base and bulb. I’m sure that after I take a day of rest today, I will be able to go to town tomorrow and get those things taken care of.

I still need to do some homework for the class that I was to go to tonight. Just haven’t felt up to doing it yet. When I go to town tomorrow I will stop and pick up the additional information I need to do yet another set of problems. When I get both sets of problems done, I will call the coordinator and go meet with her again and finish up the testing.

I did manage to call and get my haircut and oil change scheduled. At least that makes me feel like I got something done today. I am having a pretty low energy type of day.

We got some rain overnight and this morning. It will be a muck boot type of day to walk down to the chicken coop later. Things are really melting and the ground is still mostly frozen so the water isn’t being absorbed well. Snow is still pretty deep in places and where it has melted it is very muddy and slick.

I took a break to eat lunch. Decided to get the chores over with since I was up and going. Brought up 22 eggs from the girls today. I only have 25 hens so they are really laying right now. I have an abundance of eggs. If you need some, let me know. They are $3 a dozen. I’m coming to town tomorrow and could deliver if you would like. The coop is one wet and smelly mess right now. Tagen is coming out Sunday to help me clean it out. It was slippery walking down to the coop today due to the standing water. At least the snow drifts are compacting and are easier to walk through. I can almost walk my normal route to the coop now.

I got the five sacks of chicken feed unloaded from my car now that I can park in the garage. Slowly things are starting to return to pre snow drift days around here. Trusting that my run on emergency situations around here is over and I won’t have anymore to deal with for a bit. I’m tapped out of energy to deal with any more.

I set my alarm for 5:20 this afternoon. My Grandfather clock stopped sometime this week at 5:20 and I want to get it restarted. I hope I don’t forget why I set my alarm – that has happened before! Getting old sucks sometimes. Someone yesterday told me that after 50 you patch and repair the rest of your days. There is a lot of truth to that!

I am holding on to the neutral level today. Not sure I am much above it but that is better than being below it. It has been a rough couple of weeks around here and I am lucky to be at neutral.

Grateful for a mostly pain free day today, grateful for a day at home, and grateful for the sleep I will get tonight.

Just got home from KC. It is after 8:00. It has been a long day. The drive to KC was OK but it was foggy or light rain most of the way and the fog got denser as I got closer to KC. Hit traffic between Olathe and I435. I had left about 20 minutes early and got there about 5 minutes early.

The root canal went well. I liked the dentist and his assistant. They were very aware of my reaction during the whole procedure and kept checking in with me to make sure I was handling everything.

He had to test the life of the nerves in the tooth with a cold liquid of some sort. I about shot out of the chair when he hit the hot spot.

My tooth had a weird root structure. He said he had never seen one like it before. He had to do something a bit different to make sure it was cleaned out correctly. Not sure I understand what was different but he tried to explain it to me. He gives it an 80% chance of healing and survival. 20% chance of needing to have the tooth pulled. Most procedures he does have a 95% chance of doing well.

It took him about 30 minutes longer than expected to do the procedure due to the weird root structure of my tooth. At one point he had to add some numbing medication but otherwise it was good. He recommended I continue taking 3 – 4 Ibuprofen every four hours for at least the next 24 hours. He said the pain might be worse before it gets better. If it isn’t better by next Monday I will have to go back to see him.

The drive home was long. I came out of the office feeling a bit disoriented. It was very foggy and I had never been to this office before and had no idea where I was at. Thank heavens for GPS. Managed to find my way out of the parking lot and headed home. The fog was really dense for the first half of the trip. The fog gradually lifted and then I drove through a light to moderate rain. When I hit the Chase County line it was dry and clear.

When I got home I was able to pull into the garage! Thanks Jaque and Mike for your efforts yesterday to make that happen. It was a sweet way to end a long day.

I have a meeting to go to tomorrow night but we shall see what happens. If I am in lots of pain tomorrow I won’t be able to go. I have some homework to do before the meeting. Fingers crossed I will feel like doing it tomorrow morning. Didn’t feel like I could do it this morning.

Once I know the pain is under control and all is well I need to call and get a hair cut and oil change on my calendar. I have hesitated to book those before I knew what was happening with the tooth. Both are overdue and badly needed. I will need to get some dog food next time I go to town. Need to remember to take the chicken feed I got earlier this week out of my car now that I can park in the garage again.

Need to find something rather soft to eat for dinner. The numbness is wearing off and it feels almost safe to eat now. It has been several days since I have been able to eat much and I am hungry! Not sure what I have to eat but I will find something soon.

When I got home the dogs followed me inside. They seem to want to become house dogs now. Not sure how long I will be able to stand that though. It is to warm up next week and maybe they will decide to go back outside where they belong.

Four trips to KC in four weeks is too many! I haven’t been to KC that often for a long time. Three of the four trips were not fun trips. Hoping I won’t have to go back for a bit now.

Need to call the window installers tomorrow and let them know the snow has melted off the roof of the house. They need to come install the last two windows. Next week looks like it will be a good week for them to come finish up that job.

I’m tired tonight. I think I will find something to eat and go to bed early. The trip to KC wore me out today. Sure have my fingers and toes crossed that the recovery will go smoothly and this little episode is behind me now.

Grateful for a compassionate dentist and assistant today, grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, and grateful to park in the garage tonight.

Sitting here contemplating the mystery of the universe. There has been a series of events that have transpired over the last two weeks that has me sitting in wonder in the ways the universe works.

This all started back when my driveway got blown shut with snow. I got stuck and my dear neighbors pulled me out. I have been parking in the barn ever since. I had some high school boys dig out the driveway the next day. I hadn’t had a reason to get out so my car was left parked in the barn.

Jason came home the night the high school boys had cleared the driveway and needed to get into the garage to unload his car. Since he could get into the garage, it made it easy for him to unload his car.

The next day we had high winds again after Jason left for work. The driveway blew shut again and so we have been parking in the barn since. I was lucky I had left my car in the barn that day and Jason had gotten out before the wind picked up.

I have a tooth that has been hurting for the last four days. I got an emergency dental appointment this morning for noon. They called me around 9:30 to see if I could come in at 11:30. Around 10:45 I got real anxious and knew I needed to leave early for town. I got things ready and went down to the barn to get in my car.

When I walked in the barn I could hear water running. Both Kathy and Jason had been in the barn this morning to get their cars and neither one had heard any water running. I thought the water to the barn was turned off. I found the water pump in the barn furnace room had broke open and water was pouring onto the floor. Luckily there is a floor drain in that room. I checked the turn off valve above the pump and it was off. I went back up to the house to make sure the water to the barn was turned off – it was.

I called the plumber and he was available to head my way. I headed to Emporia and got to the dentist right on time! While I was in town, the plumber texted me to tell me he got it turned off and all is well.

Sitting here shaking my head at the series of things that had to have happened so I could be in the barn to hear the water running. I rarely go into the barn and would not have discovered a water leak for a long time but since the driveway was blown close, I had to go into the barn to get my car. I had time to deal with the water emergency since I had left early. The plumber was able to come out immediately. Wow! It really felt like someone had my back this morning.

I have to have a possible root canal done in Lenexa either later today or tomorrow. I am waiting on a call from their office to let me know when to come. There is a possibility that they won’t be able to do one and if not, I will have to have the tooth pulled by the oral surgeon in Emporia.

My neighbors showed up again and he is using his pickup to knock down a path through the snow covered part of the driveway. I am being taken care of today by the universe with a little help from some angels on earth! Thanks Mike and Jaque!

My dentist told me to take 4 ibuprofen every four hours until I can get the tooth taken care of. She said that was a prescription size dose and not to do that for long but it wouldn’t hurt for the next day or two. Trusting the office in Lenexa will call me soon and get me set up for either later today or tomorrow. I’m getting hungry as it has been a challenge to eat.

I will remember this day for a long time. I love noticing the synchronicities that happen when you least expect them to. It reminds me that there is a greater level of things going on around me than my little brain can wrap itself around. Even with two emergencies happening today I really feel guided and protected and taken care of by a greater force.

Grateful for neighbors that help me out over and over, grateful I caught the water leak quickly and it got resolved, and grateful I was able to get to a dentist today and a solution to the pain is on it’s way.

I called the dentist that had filled a tooth for me several years ago. They are going to see me tomorrow at noon. The dentist called in a prescription for an antibiotic for me to get started on. Crossing my fingers the antibiotic doesn’t activate my C-Diff! Grateful they gave me an appointment that soon. Not sure what they will be doing tomorrow as I’m not sure what the problem is. They told me they would need to take X-Rays at a cost of $99. Yikes! Now I remember why I go to the Vo-Tech dental program.

I went to town around noon. Stopped at Walmart to pick up my prescription and then took Tagen’s birthday present to him. I got the peanut butter balls made during the game last night. I got lucky and got to see Tagen for a bit. He hadn’t left for school yet. Made my day to get to see him!

Went by my property manager’s house and picked up the rental house information so I can finish up getting my taxes ready. Had a nice conversation with him. I don’t get a chance to see him often enough.

Went to a meeting on doing taxes. I managed to pass two of the four tests I need to take. Have another test almost done and will need to do some homework for the rest of the third test. In order to take the fourth test I need a book that the coordinator didn’t have available so will need to pick that up tomorrow while I am in town. The coordinator had to call a helper to come over to help figure out how to get me into the system. The system uses four different user names and passwords to enter four different systems. Wonder if they could make it more complicated if they tried? One of the passwords has to be 15 letters, numbers and/or characters long. High security for sure!

Good thing taking and passing the tests is the hardest part of doing taxes. Still not sure why they test us on things we won’t see during the actual tax season.

When I got home, Kathy was getting ready to do the chickens for me. I’m glad I came home when I did as the chicken feed is still in my car. I don’t want to unload it all into the barn and then have to load it back up again to move it to the house. Grateful she did chores for me today. The girls gave her 18 eggs today for her walk down to them.

I found the package that was MIA. It was in the mailbox which is where I suspected it might be. Had a full box of mail as I hadn’t picked mail up since Thursday.

I put some green chicken in the crock pot before I left this morning. I had forgotten about it and was grateful for it when I got home as I didn’t stop for lunch while I was in town. I can barely eat right now but the chicken was nice and tender and I was able to get it down.

Things have melted a bit today although the temperature is only 30. There is a dense fog rolling in. We had some ice fall overnight and the schools were on a two-hour delayed start this morning. By the time I went to town, the roads were all clear and the sidewalks were starting to melt. Where you have to walk on top of piled snow was a bit treacherous though as the ice froze over the snow. The only dangerous part of going to town was walking down to the barn.

We have a good chance for more wintery mix this evening and overnight and into tomorrow. It is to warm up even more tomorrow so hoping things will be good to go by the time I have to go to town for my noon dental appointment.

The dogs spent the night inside. They didn’t want to go out last night when I went to bed. They were good and didn’t wake me up during the night. It was warmer last night than it has been so not sure why they wanted to stay in.

I have to go to town tomorrow to go to the dentist and then again on Thursday to go to another tax meeting. Saturday I have a Celebration of Life Service to go to. I’m kinda missing my nine day stretch of staying home. So far the following week looks like I have more empty space but we shall see. Once I start the exercise program I will have to go to town three, four or five days a week for that. Maybe this is the universe’s way of getting me used to getting out more.

This day has gone by fast since I was in town for most of it. The pain in my jaw is still there. Taking Tylenol every four hours seems to knock the worst of it down for most of the four hours. Will be ever so grateful to find out what is causing the pain and to get it taken care of.

So far today I have been able to hold my consciousness level above neutral. We shall see if I can hold it there all week long with all the trips to town.

Grateful I got a dental appointment for tomorrow, grateful I got to see Tagen today, and grateful the temperature is warmer today than it has been for several weeks.

It is 20 degrees out today. That is a 20 degree improvement in temperature. The only problem is the wind is 30 – 35 MPH so it feels like 3. It was damn cold walking down to the chickens today. Trusting the warmer temperatures will come our way this week yet.

We are to get a wintery mix of precipitation over the next couple of days. What we get will depend on the temperature. Hoping for snow or rain and not the ice that may come.

The girls gave me 20 eggs today. That is a summer day haul. I didn’t let them out today like I had hoped I would be able to. The forecast just isn’t in their favor yet. We shall see if I can tomorrow.

My jaw is still very tender. It is hard to eat. I will call around tomorrow morning and see if I can find a dentist that can see me ASAP. I have it narrowed down to one of two teeth. I still can’t close my mouth and have the top teeth touch the bottom teeth – it hurts too bad to do that. Makes chewing a bit of a challenge.

I still don’t have the peanut butter balls made. Just didn’t feel like it. May still try to get those done tonight while I am watching the Chiefs game. I’ll see if I can find some energy to do so.

The dogs have been in and out all day. Kathy told me they saw her light come on this morning at 5:00 and were at her back door getting her attention so she would let them in. This new habit they have learned may be hard to break when the temperature warms up enough they don’t need to come in. I gave Roxy the bone from the pot roast I fixed yesterday. She sure enjoyed chewing on it for an hour or so.

Still hoping I can get to town tomorrow to get some things taken care of. I will have to change plans if we get ice in the morning. Nothing I have to do is worth the risk of driving on ice. I hate driving on ice and will avoid it if at all possible. I will have to go to town to see a dentist though if I can find one that can take me tomorrow or the next day.

Being in pain sure changes one’s perspective on life. It is hard to focus on much of anything else but the pain. I have been taking lots of Tylenol and that seems to knock off the rough edge but the pain comes back before it is time to take more. I have a lot of respect and admiration for those that live with chronic pain all the time. I’m not sure how they do that.

Have several phone calls to make tomorrow. Hoping it will be a good day for me to get those done. Somedays I can make calls and other days I just can’t make myself do it. Not sure why that is but I have learned to honor it and deal with it. Things will get done – sooner or later.

There is a full moon Thursday night. I can already feel the energy of it. Trusting that once this moon appears, things will soften a bit for me. This last couple of weeks has felt intense at times. I’m ready for things to soften and to be able to catch a break.

Feeling a bit numb and like I am barely holding on. Pain does distort things and I’m sure the effects of taking so much Tylenol is adding to that. It reminds me to be grateful for my good health and not to take it for granted.

Grateful for 20 eggs from the girls today, grateful for the warm up in temperatures, and grateful that this pain will pass.

I am feeling better today. Ran a 101 temperature for a bit last night. Luckily the effects of the vaccine are over with today and I am back up and running.

My jaw is still sore. It has been hard to fully close my mouth today to eat and chew. Not sure what is going on. If it doesn’t get better by Monday I will go in and have it looked at. The pain is less today unless I try to close my mouth.

Found a dead chicken when I went down today. Not surprised – with this cold weather I have been surprised I haven’t lost one before this. The girls gave me 16 eggs today. Guess they don’t have anything better to do than lay eggs. I bet they will be glad to get outside tomorrow if it warms up a bit.

It was -19 again this morning on the prairie. It has warmed up to 0 so far today. Tomorrow we are to get in the 20’s. Heat wave!!! I am so ready for warmer temperatures.

UPS delivered a package yesterday but I haven’t found it yet. It might be in the mailbox. I haven’t driven down to check. I checked all the doors, in the garage and in the barn. Hoping it will turn up. Luckily what is in the package isn’t weather sensitive.

Did some housecleaning this morning. The house had gotten a bit cluttered and I got things picked up and put away. Did some vacuuming and other cleaning. I always feel better when my house is straightened up.

Grateful the sun is shining this afternoon. Makes it feel warmer than it is. Sophia came in for an afternoon nap but Roxy is laying outside in the sun. They like this cold weather although they seem to be enjoying coming in the house for morning and afternoon naps.

I have a pot roast with potatoes and carrots cooking in the crock pot today. It sure makes the house smell good. Not sure I can chew it to eat some but will see what happens.

No plans for tomorrow except for watching the Chiefs game in the evening. Monday I have to go to Emporia for a meeting at 2:00 and have a list of errands to take care of while I am in town. Hoping this week the weather will be good enough for me to get some overdue things taken care of.

The next couple of weekends I have three Celebration of Life Ceremonies to attend. All were people that were younger than I am. I wish I had a magic wand and could give each of the families some peace and comfort. Grieving is hard work and is a process each has to find their own way through.

I need to make some peanut butter balls to take to Tagen as part of his birthday present. I’ll probably do that tomorrow and then take them to town Monday when I go.

Trusting with the warmer weather coming this way, I will find some motivation to get some things done. I haven’t done much lately as I have been stuck at home for the most part. Hoping the KU program will get going and get me started with the exercise program. This has been a long process to get this far and still not sure when I get to actually start the program.

I am starting to get a bit of spring fever. Enough with the snow and cold. Two more months before Spring Equinox! I am ready for it now!

Grateful the effects of the vaccine appear to have worn off, grateful for the warm up that is coming, and grateful for the sunshine today.

Happy 18th birthday to Tagen. He has grown into a fine young man. Polite, animal lover, sports lover and kind. It has been an absolute joy watching him grow up. Young men like Tagen give me so much hope for the future.

I haven’t had too much of a reaction to the shingles vaccine this time. Running a low grade temperature and a bit tired. My jaw started hurting again late morning so laid down on a heat pad. I had tried a heat pad last night and it seemed to have helped. I fell asleep and slept for three hours. Feel a bit achy but not bad. My tummy has felt a bit unsettled today. Trusting this is all the reaction I will have and by tomorrow it will be gone. I read the reaction can go on for about three days – we shall see what happens. My body didn’t read the rule book on how to do these things and tends to do its own thing.

Went down to take care of the chickens. It wasn’t bad walking down but walking into the light wind coming up was cold. I got their heat lamp working. I can’t get their main door to latch. Too much frozen stuff around it. I had trouble pulling it open so trusting it will stay closed. This bitter cold is to last one more day and then it starts to warm up on Sunday.

It was -10 when I got up this morning. It has climbed up to -1 so far today. The forecast is still calling for 7 as the high but I sure wouldn’t take that bet. It is to be -5 overnight and only 12 tomorrow.

No plans for the weekend. I left it open in case I had a reaction and needed some recovery time. I’ll watch the game Sunday if I remember to. Have a pot roast to put in the crock pot for tomorrow or Sunday.

Monday I have to go to Emporia to meet with someone in the afternoon. Have some errands to take care of while I am in town. Need to call and get a hair cut appointment for one day next week. I also need to get my car in for an oil change. So far the forecast is calling for temperatures to be above freezing most of the week so it will be a good week to get caught up on those things. We may get some rain but we shall see if that happens.

Hoping with the warmer temperatures coming that I can get to park in my garage again. We had a 51.3 MPH wind gust last night that blew snow all over again. Glad I didn’t pay to have the driveway shoveled out only to have had it blown close again. I’ve never had my driveway blown closed before and hope it never happens again. I miss my garage! Grateful I have a big barn that can hold all three vehicles and keep the snow and ice off of them.

The good news is January is almost over and February is a short month. March and spring will be here soon!

Hoping I can get my trash to the curb on Tuesday. It is starting to pile up as I haven’t taken it down the last two weeks. I couldn’t figure out a way to get it through the snow drifts to the curb without carrying each individual bag. It was way too cold and dangerous to do that. At least it is frozen in the garage and doesn’t stink.

The little heater I had running in the laundry room quit. Luckily I had another one. I had gotten those heaters way back in 2016 when I was using this house as a retreat center. I think the one running now is the last one of the four I had purchased that is still working. When I go to town next week, I’ll have to see if there are any to be had in town. I couldn’t find a heat lamp base so am thinking the little space heaters are sold out too. Hopefully the last one I have will stay running and help keep the laundry room pipes from freezing.

As soon as things thaw out, I will need to bribe Tagen into coming out and help me clean out the chicken coop. The leaking water container really made a mess in it and it needs cleaned out as soon as possible. Everything is frozen to the bottom of the coop right now so will need several days of much warmer weather to thaw things out. The rooster has a few dark spots on his comb which is a sign of frost bite. Didn’t notice too many others having any that are showing now. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all don’t develop some frost bite.

The FitBit the exercise program people gave me is not working. I put it on the charger and nothing happened. I chatted with the FitBit support team last night and they had me try a couple of things and nothing worked. They are going to replace it. The email address for my account is the KU Med Center Research Department address. I sent them an email this morning telling them to expect the email with exchange information. The coordinator called me today and said they didn’t bother sending them back and that the exercise coordinator that is coming to do my orientation in Emporia sometime soon would bring me a different one. Hmmm…. Wonder why they don’t get replacements? Seems they are throwing some money away. I forget not everyone is as frugal as I am.

Feeling a bit blah today from the vaccine. It has been a good day to stay tucked inside the house and to take a good long, winter’s nap. I will give my body whatever time it needs to heal from the vaccine and spend the rest of the day and tomorrow resting. I’m grateful I have the luxury of being able to do that. I’m sure by Monday I will be ready to go again.

Grateful for the love I share with my grandson, grateful my vaccine reaction has been mild so far, and grateful it is to warm up by Sunday.

This has been an interesting day. I got to Walmart at 10:50 for my 11:00 vaccine appointment. I got checked in and sent over to the door to wait. They called back someone that had checked in after I did. I was on a tight time line and decided not to wait anymore and left at 11:20. I told the lady that checked me in I had to leave.

I took my car through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. I stopped and picked up a burger and then took my car to Thomson’s to have the wheel alignment done. I ate lunch while they took care of my car.

To my surprise, it only took a little over an hour to do the car. They told me it would take 2 -3 hours. I went to Bluestem to pick up dog and chicken feed. They were out of dog food but I got 6 bags of chicken feed.

Went to Walmart to get my groceries. After I paid for them I decided to check with the pharmacy to see if they could give me my vaccine. They got me right back and I didn’t have to wait. Maybe next time I will just walk in and not make an appointment!

Came home and had to make two trips from the barn to the house to carry in the groceries. Made a third trip down so I could take care of chicken chores. While I was down at the barn this time, I shoveled a bit of the melting ice off the barn pad so it isn’t as slick to walk on. The garage door openers aren’t working so you have to get out of the car to close and open the barn door. Put the car in the barn and came up to the house and put the groceries away.

I am peopled out for the day. I had very little patience today. Yesterday must have drained my patience level to zero. I’m grateful I am tucked in at home for the weekend. We shall see what reaction I have to the vaccine this time. The lady warned me the second shot is usually worse than the first one. Yikes! It may be a long weekend if that is the case.

It has warmed up a bit today. My Tempest isn’t showing that it is above freezing yet but things are melting and softening. Unfortunately we are to have yet another cold front come through tonight and hang around until Sunday. I was tempted to let the chickens out today but decided against it. I will let them out Sunday and they should be good to go next week as the highs are in the 30’s and even up to the 40’s.

I’m having some pain in my front lower right jaw. Not sure if it is a tooth, gum or a jaw problem. The pain seems to shift around a bit and I can’t find the hot spot. It had flared up about a month ago but then went away and I had forgotten about it. It came back last night and is there again today. Sure is painful. Wish I knew what was causing it and what to do about it. I took some Tylenol last night and that seemed to help.

I’m tired this afternoon. After going nine days without being around people, two long days out and about have worn me out. I’m grateful I get to stay home until Monday. I am getting close to wanting to become a hermit and totally staying away from people.

Tomorrow is Tagen’s 18th birthday. I got the ingredients to make him some peanut butter balls if I feel up to it. I haven’t mailed his birthday present yet so maybe I will get the peanut butter balls made and get those and his present to him this weekend. I’ll see how I am feeling in the morning.

I was a bit disappointed in myself at how impatient I was today. I didn’t feel drained until I got out and was tested a bit. My reserve tank must be empty. I would have thought after being home for nine days it would have been filled.

Grateful things worked out with the vaccine and I was able to get it today since I have a couple days free to get over a reaction if I have one, grateful groceries and chicken feed are stocked up, and grateful for the warmer temperatures today.

The window guy showed up around 5:00 last night and fixed the back door. It had come unaligned. It only took him about 10 minutes to fix it. He wasn’t the one that installed it. He said he thought the guy that had installed it hadn’t done it properly or else the cold weather caused it to move a bit. Whatever! It works now.

It has been a long day. I left for KC this morning a little after 10:00 and got home right around 7:00 tonight. Traffic was heavy coming out of KC but smooth sailing after I got south of Olathe and Gardner. The roads were clear. Parking lots were a bit treacherous but I managed to stay upright.

Stopped for gas when I got to KC as I had a few extra minutes. I didn’t want to have to do that after dark when my day was done.

My first stop of the day was to have three big vials of blood drawn and my vitals taken. My blood pressure was 120/72 today which is perfect.

I then had a full body DXA scan to check body mass, fat and water measurements.

I then went for the exercise testing portion of the day. I did some timed chair stand ups, got up from a chair and walked a loop and then back again – rinse and repeat for a time limit, walked down a long hallway many times for a walking time test, did some weight lifting to check arm and leg strength, and did a flexibility test.

Next up was the dreaded tread mill test. I got all wired up with heart leads and then they put a face mask of some sort on me. I had to get my heart rate up to 150 and maintain that for a bit. When I was winding down that test they did a blood sugar check. I was pleased with how long I was able to last on the treadmill. I did better than I expected I would be able to do.

Back to the nurse for two more big vials of blood taken out. Last thing was getting a FitBit that I will use so they can track my exercising during the program.

The FitBit was a graduation prize of sorts as they only give it to those that pass their testing. Yay! They are to call me in a week or so to get me set up with my trainer.

All the people I worked with today were great. The lady that drew my blood the second time commented about my vein in my left arm. It runs east and west instead of north and south. She said she has only had one other patient with a vein like that.

I left that office around 2:30 and went to lunch. I found a hole in the wall Mexican place that was delicious. I then went to the MRI place and had a head MRI done. That only took about 15 minutes. I was done for the day when that was over.

Kathy shoveled a path from the garage to the house today that made the walk up tonight much easier. I used the light on my iPhone to light my path. I am grateful I have a big barn that fits all three cars in it.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia at 11:00 for my second Shingles vaccine. Then I will go to the Chiropractor and get adjusted. I will try to get time to grab some lunch to eat while I sit and wait at Thomson’s to get the tires balanced and aligned. I am due there around noon. I have a few stops to make afterwards as I need chicken and dog food and people food – AKA groceries.

I left Friday free and clear in case I have a reaction like I did last time to the vaccine. No plans for the weekend. After today and tomorrow I may need a couple days at home to recover. After being home for nine days, two big days in a row feels like a lot.

It felt good to get out today. I was anxious thinking about getting out yesterday but had no issues today. It sure helped that it felt like we had a bit of a heat wave today. It reached the low to mid 30’s while I was in KC. It only made it to 29 on the prairie but even that feels like spring. I had turned off my fireplace this morning to give it a rest. It had been on non stop for the last nine days. The house was really quiet this morning and I realized it was because the furnace had been able to shut off.

Today feels like I took a big step on my journey to wellness. I’m grateful I qualified for the program and look forward to getting started in the gym. I have needed something that would motivate me to get my ass to the gym and not let me quit. Somehow it makes it easier for me to do that when I know someone else is depending on me to get there. One of these days I will be able to do it just for me but for now I will lean on others to get me there.

I’m tired tonight. I had trouble falling asleep last night and didn’t sleep well. Hoping I will catch up tonight and sleep lots. If the vaccine reacts like it did last time, I will sleep most of the day Friday. Maybe that will get me caught up with sleep.

Feels a bit disorienting tonight at home after being gone all day. It feels like not all of me has gotten home yet. I know, that is weird but not sure how else to describe how I am feeling. I’m sure the rest of me will get here soon! Ha!

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful I passed all the criteria to qualify for the exercise program, and grateful for the warmer temperatures today.

I went down to do the chickens after I blogged yesterday. I found their heat lamp bulb was out. I went up to the barn and plugged in the base unit that was in the barn to make sure it was working – it was. I took out the bulb and took it back down to the chicken coop. I put the new bulb in the old base and it didn’t work. I went back up to the barn and got the base unit and took it down to the coop. I put the bulb that had worked in the barn in it and it didn’t come on. By then I was getting frozen and frustrated and had to go back to the house to warm up. I had been out in the cold about 30 minutes by this time. My hands burned for about 30 minutes after I got back into the house as they had gotten so cold.

I worried about the chickens not having a heat lamp all night. When I went down to take care of them today, the heat lamp was working and they all seemed to be doing OK. Not sure what is going on. Grateful it was working today – at least for now.

It got down to 19.7 below zero last night here on my hill on the prairie. It is to warm up to 14 today but doubting it will make it. At 2:30 it is -1. We shall see what happens.

I let the dogs out the south facing door off the living room. I couldn’t get the door to close. Kathy came up and attempted it too. The locking mechanism is not working properly. I have a chair propped up against the door to keep the door closed. It isn’t a tight fit though.

I called the new window guys and they are to send someone out this afternoon to fix it. I am not impressed with the new windows. This is the second problem I have had in the first month of having the new windows. I shall see what they say when they get here.

The dogs have been in and out all day. They spent the night outside as they wouldn’t come in when I called them. They went out for a bit today but are back in now. The cat is staying out but she is sleeping under the heat lamp in the heated box in the garage.

I was going to go to town this afternoon but now I have to stay home for when the window guys come. They were to have called me about two hours ago to let me know what they are going to do and they haven’t called me back. I would have told them about the snow drifts in the upper driveway if they had called me back. Guess they will figure it out when and if they get here.

Still haven’t decided if I am going to the meeting I have on my calendar tonight or not. It will depend on when the window guy gets here. I do have some things I need from town but walking up the driveway after dark doesn’t sound very smart to me. Kathy made it down this morning in the dark. I left the outside barn light on to give her some light but not sure it lights up the whole driveway.

I will get out tomorrow for sure as I have to go to KC. I don’t have to be there until 12:30 so won’t have to leave until 10:30. My last appointment of the day is at 4:45 so won’t get home until after dark. Sure hope it is a bit warmer tomorrow than it has been today.

This is day nine of my lock in at home. Thinking about getting out earlier today gave me anxiety. I don’t usually have anxiety so not is sure what is up with that. Good thing I like staying home I guess.

Haven’t figured out how to get the trash to the curb. I didn’t take it last week either. There is no way to pull the trash can over the snow to get it down there. I would have to carry the trash bag by bag over the snow drifts to put it in my car to drive it down. Since it is so cold, at least it doesn’t smell! Think I will skip it again this week. I will have a big pile of it next week. Trusting I will be able to get it down then.

Life gets complicated sometimes. The extreme cold seems to make everything harder to do – if not impossible to do. Not sure I could live in a climate where this type of weather lasted for months. This week plus of it has tested my limits.

The furnace has finally caught up and even turned off for a bit today. It has been running non stop since this cold snap came in. The thermostat today is showing the set temperature for the first time in several days. It hasn’t been able to get to temp until now.

So far next week’s forecast is looking much better. We are to be in the upper 30’s to lower 40’s most of next week. Shorts weather almost!

This year has gotten off to a challenging start for me so far. Problems seem to be cropping up daily. I told Kathy it feels like someone or something is messing with me. May have to get the sage stick out and smudge myself and the house.

Grateful the window guy can come today to fix the door, grateful the heat lamp is on, and grateful the furnace got a short break today.

Happy birthday to my younger brother Chad. Trust his day is safe and warm.

It is snowing again on the prairie. We have gotten about an inch so far and it is still coming down. The wind is lightly blowing today but not the gale force winds we had earlier. The sun is trying to come through so maybe the snow is about done. I don’t think the temperature got much above zero again today.

Kathy braved the elements and went to town this morning. She got home just before the snow started flying. Good timing on her part. We both hadn’t thought that since we have to park in the barn we have to carry groceries from the barn and over the snow drifts to the house. It took Kathy a couple of trips to get them all in the house.

I have a fairly large grocery list but may cut it back to essentials so I don’t have to carry so much up to the house on Thursday. Maybe by then the driveway will get cleared. It is to warm up Wednesday and maybe we can get the driveway shoveled out again.

I need to get chicken feed this week too. There is no way I am carrying a 50 pound sack of chicken feed over the snow drifts. I will leave it in the barn and deal with it there. I think I have one more full bag of dog feed that will last another week or so. Hopefully in another week when it runs out I can get a bag of dog food to the house easily.

I haven’t been down to do the chicken chores yet. I was hoping the snow would let up and it would be a bit easier to walk down there. It sees to be lighter now than it was before so we shall see what it does.

The dogs spent the night outside but came in this morning when I opened the back door. They have been out once but didn’t stay long. They are both snoring and taking a long winter’s nap in the house. The cat came in but wanted back out.

Jason brought home the insurance papers I needed so I got those taken care of and checks written out to cover the new insurance. He will take those to town with him tomorrow and hopefully I will be set.

My meeting for tonight got postponed until tomorrow night. I may or may not go tomorrow night depending on the weather. It is risky walking down the snow drift covered driveway during the day and not sure I want to try to navigate it at night.

Jason brought home some frozen bread dough balls so I am going to make bierrock for dinner tonight. Kathy made some soup this morning and had some leftover cabbage and this will be a good way to use that up.

Decided not to bother cleaning house until the dogs don’t have to come in for the day. They slobber all over the floor while they sleep and leave spots everywhere. No one is coming over any time soon and I will get it cleaned up sooner or later.

Still haven’t heard back from the insurance adjuster about the final window payment. I will give him to the end of the week and then i will have to bug him about it. I had to pay the final half of the bill out of savings and sure would like to get those funds as soon as possible.

This is day eight of my weather isolation at home. I have a lunch to go to tomorrow if I can get out. It is in Cottonwood Falls so don’t have to go far. If the weather is good, I will go into Emporia after lunch and get groceries, pick up a prescription and go to the Chiropractor. I have to go to Emporia Thursday to get my vaccine and have the tires balanced and aligned so I can get them then if needed. I’ll get chicken feed one or the other day too.

Wednesday I have to go to KC. So far the forecast for that day is holding good for travel. It is to be in the high 20’s that day which will feel like a heat wave compared to the below zero crap we have had the last few days.

I haven’t gone totally bonkers staying home this long – yet! With the temperature as cold as it has been, I have been perfectly content to stay in. Walking down to take care of the chickens gets me out in the cold enough. Usually by this long at home without leaving the house, I get anxious and need to get out. Not sure why that hasn’t happened this time.

Sure hope this is the only long blast of winter we will get this year. It has been brutal. We haven’t seen temperatures like this for quite a while. Hopefully, it will be a long time before we see them again. I sure feel for the ranchers that have to feed livestock in this as well as all the other people that have to work outside. It has been dangerously cold.

Even with the isolation, January sure seems to be going faster than December did for me. December was a month that felt like it was three months long. Time seems to pass by whether I do anything or not.

Grateful Kathy has a safe trip to and from town, grateful I get to stay home again today, and grateful it is to warm up by Wednesday.

This is my seventh day of staying home without leaving the property. Not sure I will get out tomorrow. I have a meeting to go to at 6:00 Monday night but not sure if I will go. I have to park in the barn and coming up the icy, snow packed driveway after dark doesn’t sound very safe to me. We shall see what happens.

It was easier doing the chicken chores today as the wind wasn’t blowing near as hard as it has been. My Tempest weather station is showing that it is -6 outside right now. It was -11 this morning. Without the wind, it doesn’t feel that cold. The girls gave me 12 eggs today for my troubles. They seem to be managing this cold spell OK. I don’t see any danger signs on them yet.

I walked down the short cut way which was a mistake. The snowdrifts that way are to frozen over so much and I kept sinking down. I never went further down than my tall boots but it was work walking through it. I came back up using the driveway and that way I don’t sink down through the drifts. It gets my heart rate up either way. I consider it my exercise for the day.

I made a pot of white chicken chili this morning. I baked a corn bread to go with it. We have been eating on it all afternoon. Hot soup on a very cold day feels good for the soul.

The house is staying at the set temperature of 71 in the living room but my bedroom is down to 64. Kathy said downstairs is down to 65. The furnace and fireplace run all the time. We are to get a bit of a break on Wednesday when this bitter cold moves out. The high for Wednesday is to be 28. That will feel like a heat wave.

I got up this morning to watch the sunrise but there were enough clouds that I didn’t see any sun dogs. The sky was a beautiful pink color when I first got up but by the time I went to the bathroom and put on my glasses the pink color was gone and it was gray. Maybe the sun set tonight won’t disappoint.

We didn’t get any more snow today and am hoping we won’t get any more tomorrow. I was very grateful the winds have stayed calmer today. The sound of the wind was wearing out my last nerve.

Sophia spent most of the evening in the house last night. She wanted out when I went to bed and she didn’t want to come back in. When I checked on her this morning she came right in and stayed for a couple of hours. I dragged Roxy in mid day and she took a nap and then wanted back out. They are out romping in the snow now. I’ll see if I can talk them into coming back in tonight.

Haven’t gotten much done today. I did take a good nap this afternoon. I wanted to go back to bed this morning but couldn’t fall back asleep. Haven’t felt too motivated to get anything done. I don’t have anything urgent to do so that makes it easier to not do anything. I have some housework that needs done but no one is coming over and it seems to be able to wait patiently for me to get to it.

We watched the football game last night. The Chiefs played better than they have for a while but still didn’t make some easy plays. As cold as it was, I’m surprised they were able to throw the ball at all. There is always that crazy fan that takes their shirt off and we saw that last night. Hope when they sobered up this morning they didn’t discover frost bite. Saw pictures of drinks freezing in the cup holders by the seats. Talk about cold beer – I bet they had it there last night.

It will be interesting to see how I handle getting back out in the public whenever I make that happen this week. After this extended time home I wonder if I can handle it. This stretch has reminded me of the early Covid days when I only would get out of the house once a week or so. Good thing I am an introvert and like staying home.

Grateful for this time home for this extended stay, grateful the wind calmed down today, and grateful for Sunday afternoon naps.

Chicken chores are done. I feel like that is a good day’s work these days. The girls gave me 13 eggs today. They seemed to be handling the cold fairly well. Jason brought me a five gallon watering container so I got that put in place. The other one was only two or three gallons and they kept running out of water with it. Grateful that is taken care of.

It is brutally cold outside again. I don’t think we have cracked 0 yet. My Tempest weather station is not doing well. I think there is some ice in it.

Kathy and I were both up early so we watched the sunrise. People were posting pictures of sun dogs yesterday and I hoped we would see one this morning. Last night there was a beautiful light pillar coming from the sun as it was setting.

The sunrise did not disappoint us this morning. It was fabulous and we saw the sun dogs. If the clouds had not been above the sunrise the sun dogs would have created a complete rainbow. It is hard to get pictures of them but I did my best.

I feel a bit like I am living in two different realities at the same time. If I look out the west windows it is often a white out blizzard scene. If I look out the east windows it is usually clear. Truth is funny like that – it depends on your perspective.

I’m sure glad I canceled the Five Wishes Workshop for today. It is a challenge to get inside my house right now with the driveway drifted close. It is cold enough I can walk on top of the snow and not sink through very often. There is a layer of ice in the low spots. Grateful I made it down and back up again without falling.

This is day six of staying home. I might be able to get out Tuesday but it may be Wednesday. We are to get a bit of a warm up Tuesday and by Wednesday it is to be in the high 20’s. That sounds like a heat wave right now.

I have to go to KC Wednesday so grateful it will be a good day to go. I won’t get home until after dark and I don’t like being out after dark, especially when the roads are dicey. So far, the forecast is in my favor.

I’m going to have Jason take a check to the new insurance people Monday and bring me the paperwork I need to sign. He can return it on Tuesday. That way I don’t have to get out. I have to have the insurance signed, sealed, and paid for by Friday morning and I don’t want to wait to do it Wednesday. That seems to be cutting it too close.

Thursday I have to go to Emporia to get my second Shingles vaccine and then I am going to get my wheels balanced and the alignment done. I think I have time to go to the Chiropractor between those two appointments. I had to miss my Chiropractor appointment this week as I couldn’t get to town. I will pick up any groceries I need when my car is done.

Tagen turns 18 next Friday. Where does the time go? I’ll have to get his present to him somehow. I may have to mail it.

I made No Bake Chocolate Cookies today and then made a meat loaf and made potato cakes out of the left over mashed potatoes from last night. Feels good to eat real food again. I won’t eat the cookies but Jason and Kathy will enjoy them. If there are any left, I will take some to Tagen and Ellexia when I can get out.

Jason got the TV hooked up to Peacock so we can watch the frozen football game tonight. I can’t believe they didn’t cancel that game. Trust no one gets seriously injured due to the cold. You couldn’t pay me to go to that game in person. Of course, it would take lots to get me to go to any of the games – even in good weather. I don’t like noise and crowds.

I’m handling life much better today. I feel like I am back up the ladder of consciousness. The last two days were rough. So far today, nothing has broken or challenged me. I have absolutely reached my limit on that kind of thing.

There was nothing wrong with the furnace. The wind and cold is making it hard for it to keep up. I don’t remember this happening before but I don’t remember it being this cold and windy this long. I’m so very grateful for my propane fireplace that has kept the living room comfortable. I’m grateful I had the guy come out and check it out though. It would have been a miserable weekend if there had been something wrong and they couldn’t get out to fix it until Monday. It is too cold to take chances.

I dragged Sophia into the laundry room today and made her stay inside for 30 minutes. She wasn’t very happy with me. Roxy gets in the heated box in the garage under the heat lamp but Roxy won’t let Sophia in there. Sophia has a rug to lay on but the garage is cold. They were out romping in the snow a bit ago. They are built for weather like this but it makes me cold to watch them. That reminds me when my kids were little – I would put a sweater on them when I got cold!

I put a portable heater in the laundry room. It was having trouble staying warm in there and I was afraid the water pipes would freeze. The pipe in the garage that I can’t open backs into the laundry room. The last thing I need is a broken pipe.

Grateful today has been a better day, grateful I have the luxury of staying home in this dangerous weather, and grateful the chicken chores are done for the day.

And my streak of bad luck continues…..

I woke up to a cold house this morning. The furnace is running and the lights say it is working but the thermostat said it was 64 in the living room. I keep it set at 71 all day and night. I turned on the fireplace and it has warmed up to 66. Not sure if it is the 55 MPH wind gust and the 3 degree temperature or if something is wrong. The service guy is coming out to make sure since it is Friday. I have a feeling it is working but just can’t keep up. The wind chill is -23 and the sustaining wind is 40 MPH.

I found snow inside a window in the NW corner of the bathroom. I sent a picture of it to the window guys. He had me double check that the window was properly locked – it is. Not sure what they are going to do about that.

The driveway that got shoveled out yesterday is no longer clear. Thank heavens Kathy and I left our cars in the barn and didn’t park them in the garage. The rest of the driveway looks clear although I didn’t walk it to make sure. Neither one of us are going anywhere anytime soon and I don’t need to know if the rest of it is blocked. Guess when the furnace guy gets here I will find out about the rest of the driveway.

I went down to take care of the chickens. Kathy kept an eye on me until I got back to the house. When I walked down the driveway and hit the drift, I didn’t sink down through the snow. By the time I came back up, I couldn’t tell where I had walked the first time.

The girls gave me 16 eggs today. That is a winter record for them. Guess they don’t have anything else to do but lay eggs. Thinking I need to charge a premium price for them. Hazard tax of some sort!

They were out of water so grateful I went down. Their coop felt OK to me temperature wise. I’m grateful I put up the heat lamp as it adds a bit of heat for them. I was able to get all three doors open so grateful for that.

Walking back up to the house is harder than walking down as my buckets are empty and I don’t have their weight to stabilize me. That wind is brutal to walk into. Almost went down a couple of times but I managed to remain vertical and had an uneventful trip down and back.

The water faucet in the garage was so tight I couldn’t turn it on when I tried to fill the chicken bucket with water. I have a mop sink in the laundry room that I used to fill the bucket with. I’ll have to fill a bucket and take out and fill the dog’s water bowl.

The dogs were outside romping in the snow a bit ago. They have been hanging in the garage under the heat lamp and on the heating pad part of the day.

Woke up feeling tired mid morning. I took my medication and then ate breakfast. I couldn’t find my on switch today so went back to bed and slept another two hours. Still feeling drained this afternoon. I had a very hard day yesterday and today’s issues haven’t helped. Thinking I have reached my limit and need to recharge somehow.

This is day five of my staying at home. Doesn’t look like I will get out this weekend at the temperature is to be hovering close to 0 all weekend and dipping below zero during the night. This weather is not fit for beast or man. It sure would help if the wind would calm down. It looks like a blizzard out right now with the snow blowing so hard.

I’m going to fix myself a good dinner tonight. I haven’t been eating very good and thinking that might help. It is a good day to have the oven on and maybe help warm up the kitchen. Cream chicken and biscuits sound mighty good to me right now. I shouldn’t eat the biscuits but I need comfort food today.

Grateful the chores are done for the day, grateful the furnace is going to get checked out, and grateful I have the luxury of staying home today.

What a day. I got the three problems of the day solved. The bank thing got straightened out after a 30 minute phone call. The barn door was fixed thanks to Greg Johnson from Midwest Locksmith. He put on a keypad latch so I won’t ever have this problem again. Two high school kids came and shoveled my driveway so I can get to the garage. Yeah!

I didn’t have an easy time with any of these issues but it does feel good that they are solved.

My cousin recommended I apply some heat to the door lock in case it had ice inside it. I took a blow dryer down and then remembered the plug-in is inside the locked barn. There is a plug in on the NW side of the barn but the extension cord was in the locked barn. After saying a naughty word or two, I gave up and called the locksmith.

The two guys that showed up made quick work of the deep snow. The wind is picking up and their faces were mighty red from the wind and cold by the time they were done. It took them about 40 minutes of shoveling to clear a path. I paid them well and told them I would call them again if I get another snow drift.

When I talked to them after school was out, they told me they might wait to come tomorrow. I told them it is going to be really cold tomorrow and was grateful they showed up this afternoon.

I had a good cry before all the solutions fell into place. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with things that go wrong. The responsibility of keeping this place running feels too big to manage sometimes. Grateful the three problems of the day got resolved.

Never did make it to town today. I might go tomorrow depending on what the weather does overnight and tomorrow morning. What I need to do in town can wait till next week if it has to. I do need to get insurance paid for before January 20. Luckily I don’t need any groceries and can get by till next week for those.

Kathy went down with me to help me lock up the chickens. I close their access door to the outside pen when the temperatures drop below 20. It takes two people to do that job as one needs to make sure the chickens can’t get out and the other closes the little trap door. Two chickens came out as we went down but both wisely went back in. I was in no mood to chase a chicken today and they must have sensed that!

Never did take a nap today. I laid down but the barn door was on my mind and I couldn’t rest until I figured out what I was going to do about it. After I called the Locksmith I needed to stay up to go down to meet him when he came. After he left the guys came to shovel. I will try to go to bed early tonight and hopefully get a good night’s sleep. I am overdue for one.

I fixed Kathy and I a cauliflower crust pizza from Costco for lunch. I needed comfort food and that hit the spot. Kathy is always up for eating pizza. She had a rough day at work and needed some comfort food too.

I managed to make a few phone calls and take care of some other issues that are pending. The heater guy is to go to Michelle’s house and try to figure out why Ellexia’s room doesn’t have heat. The plumber is going to light some fire under the booster pump people and see if we can get that issue resolved. I made an appointment to get my second Shingles shot for next week and made an appointment to get my wheels aligned and balanced. Feels good to have gotten all that stuff done. Don’t know why doing little things like that is hard for me but somedays I just don’t have it in me to make those calls.

Trusting tomorrow will be a better day. I’m grateful that all my issues of the day got resolved today and didn’t carry into tomorrow. I get a fresh start tomorrow and hopefully will be trouble free for a bit. I am way overdue for a break in house issues.

I am ready for a boring day on the prairie. My life has had way too many challenges lately and I am ready for things to quiet down. I’m grateful I was able to regroup and problem solve today and get things done. It was a hard day though and I am grateful it is almost over.

Grateful for Greg Johnson and his speedy help today, grateful to the two high school kids that made the shoveling look easy, and grateful this day is almost over.

This has not. been my day and it is not even half way done. I got a call from the fraud department of my bank. It was an automated call and came in on a line my phone didn’t recognize. It wanted me to give it my zip code and I hung up and called the bank direct.

The bank has changed to an automated system – I hate those things. What I wanted was the fraud department and it was not an option. I finally got connected to a person who had to ask me seven verification questions. When I finally could get to the point with her, she said the fraud department was a different department and she had no idea if they were trying to reach me. I kept at her and she finally transferred me to them.

Turns out the call had been legit but the charge they were questioning was legit too. They took the hold off my card and allowed the charge to go through. That whole process took over 30 minutes. Somethings are just not simple these days.

Decided to go to town to get my insurance taken care of. Got what I needed and made the slippery, treacherous trip down to the barn where my car is. The door to the barn had gotten locked accidentally. The key to the barn is in my car which is in the barn. I have a spare at the house so carefully walked back up. Couldn’t figure out which key it was so took all of them back down to the barn. Found the right one but it isn’t working. Not sure if there is ice in the lock or what. I’ll have to put some WD40 on it and try again.

I decided the universe was trying to tell me not to go to town so came back up to the house. When I do the chicken chores this afternoon I will take some WD40 down and try again. If that doesn’t work, I’m not sure what I will do.

I have had it up to my neck with problems with this house. Yesterday I got stuck and was rescued by my neighbors. Today I am locked out of the barn which has my car in it. Wonder what tomorrow will bring? Not sure I want to know!

I saw a post on Facebook yesterday from a kid that is looking for driveways and sidewalks to shovel. I am to text him at 3:35 today and I think he is coming out to shovel my driveway. It isn’t a long area but it is deep. With this cold wind, there is an icy, crispy layer on top. Not sure he will be able to remove it. Wanted to try to get it gone before the real cold weather comes in tonight and tomorrow. We shall see how this works out.

I took a nap yesterday which was a good thing as I didn’t sleep much again last night. I have been up since about 4:00. Maybe I will go back to bed and try this day again.

Enough with the issues with the house! I have reached my breaking point and can’t deal with any more right now. Even the beauty of the sunrise this morning did little to quiet my soul. I will take a nap and then put on my big girl panties and deal with it all. Just need a break for a hot minute or two!

Grateful I can put myself into time-out so I don’t cause harm to another human today, grateful I have the luxury of being able to stay home today, and grateful for the nap I see in my future.

What a day. I worried about the chickens running out of water all night so finally got up rather early to take them a different watering container that will hold water. I had a smaller one in the garage that holds water and needed to get it down to them. I put the container in the car along with a bucket of water. I wanted to see if I could get out the driveway to go to a meeting tonight so got the car out of the garage and headed down the driveway.

Wrong thing to do! I should have walked the driveway to check it out first. I got stuck in a hip deep snow bank. I took care of the chickens and then came back up to the house to think about how I was going to get my car out.

My dear neighbor had messaged me while I was out taking care of the chickens and offered to send her husband up with his pickup to break a path in the driveway if needed. What divine timing! I sent her a note back and said I was stuck and she said they would be up to get me out.

They came up in a pickup with a tow chain. The chain was too big to go through the tow hole on the front of my car. I got a S hook out of the chicken coop but it wasn’t strong enough to hold. We were trying to come up with another option so I went in the barn to see if I had something in there that might work.

I noticed the camper had a safety chain and told Mike about it. He was able to get it disconnected from the camper and then used it to connect to the towing chain he had brought. It worked and he was able to pull me out.

What ever would I do without my dear neighbors? They have rescued me several times now. I owe them big time for this one (and the other times).

There is a knee high drift in front of the barn that I worked on shoveling for a bit. Kathy came home and is going to work on it some more. If we can get it knocked down we can park in the barn until the drift blocking the driveway goes away. Looking at the forecast it might be a month or so before it warms up enough to melt it down. Our high for next week is to be in the low 20’s with nighttime at or below zero.

I did shovel the ice off the garage pad so we can walk into the garage from the barn without falling and breaking a hip. I also shoveled the pad in front of the barn that didn’t have snow on it but had a layer of ice. It is really melting today so that should dry off and not be a hazard to walk on.

I called the leader of the meeting I was supposed to go to tonight and told her I wasn’t going to make it in. I don’t want to be out after dark if I have to park in the barn. It is a bit tricky to walk up to the house from the barn with the deep snow. I don’t want to do that in the dark.

I really need to find someone with a tractor or a plow on front of a pickup to come up and plow out the big drift in my driveway. This has only happened one other time since I have lived here the last ten years. The rest of the driveway is clear and free of drifts. The drift blocking my path out is a big one.

Feel like I have gotten a days work done and I haven’t done much. Shoveling this heavy snow is a workout! It is really melting a lot today and there is a hard crust on top of the drifts. Most drifts I can walk over and not fall down into but sometimes, when I least expect it, I go down and then have to work my way out. I have used muscles I had forgotten I had.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I finally got up around 4:30 and took another bath and that helped me find three hours of sleep. I am thinking a nap is on my schedule this afternoon. I won’t be going anywhere so I might as well take a nap.

We are to get more precipitation Thursday night and Friday morning. Hoping this one isn’t as bad as the last one. The cold front comes in Friday and temperatures will drop quickly and stay that way for most of next week.

I am going to postpone the Five Wishes Workshop I had scheduled for Saturday. It is too hard to get to my house right now. I don’t want someone coming and falling on the ice and snow. Everything will be frozen solid by Saturday and the risk is too high. I will reschedule for another day when the weather is better.

I do need to get to town either Friday or Monday to sign insurance papers so I have coverage January 20 when the coverage I currently have expires. I’ll see what the weather does Friday with the expected storm coming in. Hopefully I can make it to town Monday If I can’t go Friday.

Oh the joys of country living. One learns how to be resourceful and how important neighbors are. It was a scary feeling knowing I was trapped and couldn’t get out if I needed to. Thank heavens I have all that I need and can stay home for several days before I have to get out.

I need to take the chickens some dry straw. The watering container leaked for several days before I connected the dots and figured out why they were running out of water. The bottom of the coop is wet and the chickens need some dry straw to help keep them warm this next week. They do have a heat lamp in the coop but dry bedding would help lots. I will go get that taken care of when I get through blogging.

The propane guy came today and filled the tank. That is a relief. This coming cold snap is not the time to run out of propane. I haven’t seen the propane ticket yet so not sure how much he had to put in. I had meant to check it when I went down to do the chickens today and got distracted when I got stuck. Grateful he showed up and got it taken care of.

Louis was happy to see Kathy today. Kathy will be home to stay tomorrow afternoon. She has been housesitting for a friend in Strong City. Louis is a bit spoiled and doesn’t like Kathy being gone so will be happy she is home to stay tomorrow.

Trusting the rest of the day will be less eventful. I plan on tucking in and not getting out. I have plenty to do around here if I find the motivation to get something done. I don’t need any groceries so will stay inside. I bow to Mother Nature and will honor this quiet time.

Grateful for my neighbors who pulled me out of a high snow drift, grateful for Kathy for coming to shovel in front of the barn, and grateful for a timely propane delivery.

Made it back up from doing the chicken chores. We got about 6 – 8 inches of snow last night and have had winds over 45MPH today. My normal path down to the chickens had hip high snow drifts. I took a detour of sorts but still had to walk through knee high drifts.

There is a crust on the top of the drifts and most of the time I didn’t sink down through but occasionally I would. I was balancing a bucket of water in one hand and a bucket of feed in the other. The buckets acted like hiking poles of sorts. There is a thick layer of ice under the snow. My yard has lots of bare spots where the snow has blown off of it. On the way back up to the house I had a Mary Poppins minute when the wind caught one of the empty buckets and tried to carry us away.

I managed to get the gate into the pen open. The doors to the coop were frozen shut. I used the feed bucket as a hammer to knock the ice off the latch to the door and it worked. It was a struggle to pull the door open as it was frozen in places but I got it. Grateful I went down as they were out of water. I will have to replace their water can tomorrow and lay some more dry straw down.

The girls gave me 11 frozen rocks (I mean eggs) today. They all seemed to be surviving the storm ok. No dead ones yet!

I think I will count that as my exercise for the day. I was worn out by the time I got back up to the house. Walking in the high wind and through the deep drifts was a challenge. I don’t think I will take the trash down today – not worth the risk to my life to do so. I think I can get my car out but not sure. I don’t want to get stuck and I don’t have anywhere I have to go so am not going to try it.

Hopefully the wind will slow down this evening. It isn’t to be so windy tomorrow. There have been times today the snow is blowing so hard I can’t see the chicken coop.

Felt a bit claustrophobic today knowing I couldn’t get out if I wanted to. It doesn’t usually bother me but it hit hard this morning. I’m grateful the chicken chores are done for the day. Maybe now my anxiety can calm down and I can settle in for the night.

The lights blinked off and then came back on this morning. Grateful I haven’t lost power. Grateful I have the propane fireplace to keep me warm if the power does go off. Lots around have no power. I feel for them.

I’m so grateful I canceled my appointment for KU today. Not sure I would have been able to make it back home if I made it there. This weather is not fit to be out in unless you absolutely have to be out and about. I haven’t seen a winter storm like this one for a long time. I’m afraid the snow is going to be on the ground for a long time as we have a major cold front coming in with temperatures in the single digits for the high and lows will be below zero. Yuck! Calgon, take me away!

The dogs, on the other hand, are loving this weather. They have a heat lamp in their box in the garage as well as a heating pad but they are choosing to lay outside. They don’t seem to be minding the cold and wind in the least.

On a day like this I feel very small. Mother Nature is putting on quite a show today and I have to respect her power. It can make me feel a bit powerless though.

My heart goes out to those that have no power or no back up food supply. I am so blessed to be able to tuck in my warm house and know that I have all that I need without having to get out. I can stay home the rest of the week if needed and I will be fine. Not everyone can do that.

Feel like baking some cookies today so may do that when I get done blogging. I don’t eat them but can always freeze them and find a home for them another day. I need to find something to do other than sit and baking sounds fun for some reason today.

How did the pioneers survive winter on the plains way back when? I have a lot of respect and awe for them. I can’t imagine living through this is a log cabin like they lived in.

Grateful the chicken chores are done for the day, grateful to be tucked inside my warm house with lots of food, and grateful the wind will be slowing down this evening.

Rain? Snow? Dry? All of the above? I woke up to hearing hard rain falling. Went back to sleep and when I woke up again I thought the rain had stopped. Looked outside and we were getting snow. That has moved on and now it is dry. More rain/snow is predicted for the rest of the day and overnight.

It was a mud fest going down to take care of the chickens. Definitely needed my muck boots today. The girls gave me 12 eggs on this wet, cold January morning.

I called and rescheduled my MRI and exercise test with KU. The lady said I was on her list for her to call me to reschedule. I was thinking about driving up this afternoon but I checked radar and the road between here and there was getting snow so decided to stay home and reschedule. I will try again next week.

The watering can for the chickens seems to not be holding water – or else they are drinking lots of extra water. I will keep an eye on it and will need to get a new one if it isn’t holding water. Eggs are mainly water and the chickens won’t lay eggs if they don’t have enough water. I had thought about going into Strong City this morning to get one until I saw the snow coming down. I am a big chicken these days when it comes to getting out on icky roads. Just don’t do it unless I absolutely have to.

My neighbor came up to get some eggs. She said V Rd was slick today. V Road used to be a nice gravel road but the gravel seems to have disappeared lately. It is much muddier than it ever used to be.

Haven’t gotten anything done yet today. It is a good day to sit and guess what the weather is going to do. I had left my vacuum out thinking I would get the hallway and entry way cleaned today. I still might but it hasn’t sounded important enough to motivate me to do it yet. When I get tired of sitting, I will get at it.

Kathy sent me a text and asked me to feed Louis. I’m grateful she chose to stay inside where it was warm and not get out to do something I could easily do. She doesn’t have a garage where she is housesitting so she would have had to clean her car off. Silly to do that when she had an option to stay in.

I have a meeting to go to in Emporia Wednesday evening at 6:45 if the roads are good by then. It will probably get canceled if they aren’t good. I don’t like driving at night these days and avoid it when I can.

We are to get bitter cold by the end of the week with the high in the single digits. I don’t like that cold of weather. It gets scary just walking down to take care of the chickens when it is that cold. Come on Spring! I am ready for you.

Nothing on my calendar other than the possible meeting Wednesday night until the Five Wishes Workshop Saturday. Not expecting many to come as it is going to be very cold that day. I will schedule another one sometime in February, hopefully when the weather is a bit warmer. One never knows in KS what to expect.

I do need to get to Emporia either late this week or Monday of next week to sign insurance papers so I can obtain new house and car insurance. Hopefully, things will clear out soon and it will be easy to get to town. May have to skip going to the Chiropractor this week but that is no big deal. Grateful I got groceries yesterday.

Winter is a good time to turn inward and do some reflections and shadow work. Might as well use this cue from Mother Nature and get some extra rest and quiet time. She seems to be reminding me that this time of isolation is needed for my soul right now. Sometimes it is hard for me to sit with my self and allow myself to feel whatever needs to come up.

Grateful I can stay home and be warm and cozy on this winter day, grateful KU was able to reschedule my appointment tomorrow so I can stay home, and grateful for this empty space time of peace, quiet and isolation.

Happy birthday to Craig. He is wintering in Florida – smart man. Trust Nancy will spoil him today and celebrate him for us.

Went to Emporia mid day to drop some mail off at Michelle’s house, make a deposit and pick up a few groceries. The forecast is not looking good for several days so decided I needed to go today while the roads were dry and clear. We are to have blizzard conditions Monday and Tuesday. Pretty sure I won’t be going to KC Tuesday as planned. I don’t have anything on my calendar next week until Saturday so will be good to stay home for a bit.

Kathy came home this morning to pick up a few things and to love on her cat. I told her to text me if she didn’t want to come for the next couple of days and I will feed Louis for her. No use risking her life doing something I can do easily.

Got the laundry room cleaned today. It was disgusting. Not sure why I let it go so long between cleanings but it is clean now. I even got under the dryer cleaned. For some reason there was some lint on the wall so I got that cleaned off and the top of the washer cleaned. Not sure why I expect clean clothes to come out of a dirty washer.

I have some potato soup cooking. Sure makes the house smell good. I had some potatoes that needed used up and some milk that was going out of date. Picked up some celery and onion at the grocery store this morning and turned it all into potato soup. Soup sounds good on a blizzard week. I’m sure I have enough to eat on for several days. It is hard to make a small batch of potato soup.

Got lots of paper thrown away from my file cabinet last night. I am down to about 15 files now. Just don’t need to save records like I did when I had the retreat center and AirBnB. Found some old cards, letters, etc. that I got rid of. At the first of the year, I like to throw away things that hold old energy in them. I feel it allows for new clean energy to come inside instead. Still have one more drawer to go through in the file cabinet. It holds old tax records and I need to decide what I have to keep and what I can throw away. I’ll have to look up the suggested record retention recommendations and go from there.

I took some time and checked out the requirements in order to deduct storm damage and you can only do it if the storm damage happened in a federally declared disaster area. Good to know but sad I can’t deduct some of my losses that insurance won’t cover. No use gathering all the information to take to my tax accountant.

No plans for the next couple of days other than staying inside where it is warm and dry. I only will venture out once a day to take care of the chickens. I remember one year I did the chores during a blizzard. It was hard to find my way down there and then back to the house. Maybe I can catch a break and find a sweet spot during the expected snow storm that is coming in.

Monday I do need to make about six phone calls and get some things scheduled. I need a hair cut but will wait until I know what the roads are like to schedule that. I won’t go to the Chiropractor until later in the week when the roads are clear again. I also need to schedule an oil change but won’t do that until I know when I can safely get there.

I got the back deck shoveled yesterday late afternoon. Water is still dripping off the roof but not as much as yesterday. I don’t like the water to turn to ice and then have a layer of ice that snow covers up. It is supposed to get above freezing today so am thinking most of the snow that is on the ground now will melt before the new stuff comes tomorrow. The chicken coop sure is muddy. The girls enjoyed rearranging the fresh straw I put down for them yesterday.

I will watch the Chiefs game soon. It takes me five minutes to find the darn channel it is on. I miss the days where you could tune to the channel you wanted and didn’t have to take ten steps to get there. Hope they play better than they have been. I don’t expect them to get very far in the playoffs this year.

Sitting in a good head space today. Feel like I am on a bit of a roller coaster lately but it seems to be slowing down. I know what triggered me and it is going to take a few days for things to become clear to me what the outcome will be. I did some fact finding last night which helped. I have a tendency to go to the worse case scenario in my head and that isn’t helpful.

Grateful for a nice day before the storm comes, grateful to have another room clean, and grateful for the potato soup that is cooking.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Finally took a second hot bath at 3:00 and was able to sleep after that. I got a text that woke me up at 7:00 but I was able to go back to sleep for a bit.

Having a much better day today compared to yesterday. I got triggered yesterday early and had trouble finding my grounding afterwards. I feel grounded today and have been able to do a few things.

Worked on tax prep for about an hour. I have some of the rental properties done. Need to get some paperwork from my business partner that manages the others and then I can finish that part of taxes up. Feels good to have a head start on those.

I always think about selling off the rental properties each year when I do taxes. I look at the return and wonder if I could do better putting my money somewhere else. What the return each year doesn’t show, is the increase in valve of the property. When you factor that in, it makes a difference in the return on investment.

About this time of year I consider selling this house too. I am struggling to keep it up, especially with all the hail damage stuff I continue to deal with. Not sure I see the end line of that yet. This house is way too big for two people and I could put the value of it to better use. Yet, I love living here and think I can do it for one more year. One of these years I won’t be able to say that but until I do, I guess I will stay here.

As I worked on my personal taxes I realized I didn’t have much medical stuff last year. I did have a second case of Covid but managed to get over that without needing much medical attention. No surgeries, etc. last year! Yay! I hope that trend continues for the foreseeable future. My thyroid medication is $75 a month out of pocket – and that is with pharmaceutical insurance. Yikes! Luckily the other stuff I take is cheap.

Not sure how income taxes work with the hail damage stuff. I am tracking what I have had to pay out and what insurance has covered so far. I don’t know if I get to deduct any of my losses or not. Probably not but I will take the numbers to my accountant in case.

I am always struck by how much insurance and taxes go up every year. How do people on fixed incomes afford to continue to stay in their houses? I wish there was an end in sight to the increases but I don’t see one. I hate to raise rent every year but with those two items increasing I almost have to if I want to continue to stay even.

It has only warmed up to 31 so far today but the snow is melting off the roof. There is a steady drip from the roof line. I don’t have guttering yet so the water drips off all along the roof line. I need to remember to go out and sweep off the water at sunset time so it doesn’t freeze overnight.

Need to take the girls some straw when I go down today. Their watering container leaked the other day and their floor in the coop is wet. Not a good day to clean out the coop so I will lay a thick layer of straw over what is in there. I also need to hang up the heat lamp as the forecast is calling for single digit highs later next week. When it gets that cold, I turn on a heat lamp for them to help keep their water container thawed. Today is about as nice as it is going to be for the next week so will take advantage and get those two things done.

I need to go through all my paper files and do a yearly purge of records I no longer need to keep. I quit saving so many things so it won’t take me too long to do now. That used to be a huge job when I kept the books for the stores. So grateful I no longer have that big of a task to do.

Kathy is housesitting for a friend for the next week or so. The house sure feels big and empty with her not here. Her cat and I are barely on speaking terms and he is going to have to deal with me. I’m sure he will be glad when Kathy comes back home to stay.

Got news that a dear friend’s husband made his transition this morning. I had helped them with end of life planning and am so grateful they had made decisions of what his wishes are many months ago. It makes this very difficult time a bit easier. Death is never easy but when you know what the departed one wanted, it does help make that part of it easier. It allows for the loved ones left behind to have to make fewer decisions at a very stressful time.

I am hosting a Five Wishes Workshop next Saturday at my house from 2:00 – 4:00. You will get a good start on documenting your final wishes. Cost is $25 and it is open to all. Come if you can. If that time doesn’t work for you, reach out and we will find a time that works for both of us.

Feel like I moved back up the ladder of consciousness today. Yesterday was a hard day. I rarely have those types of days anymore and am grateful it only lasted for one day.

Grateful the tax task has been started, grateful I was able to be of service to my friend, and grateful for the melting that is happening today.

Got a text from the window installers at 6:45 this morning asking if we had snow falling. It woke me up. I answered it was lightly snowing and we had less than an inch. No response.

The installers showed up a little before 9:00. The person that had texted had never read my response. Needless to say they were unable to install the remaining two windows as by 9:00 we had a couple inches of snow. They came inside and changed out the hardware on the windows. They had been installed with the wrong color. They also finished installing the handles so the windows can be opened and closed easier.

They unloaded the two remaining windows into the garage and will return another day when there is no snow to install them. Makes me wonder why he texted if he wasn’t going to take my word for it. Oh well, the round trip from Manhattan is on them and not me.

I had to pay them for most of the cost of the windows today. I am struggling to get an invoice from them that I can send to my insurance guy. It will get figured out – sooner or later.

Not sure if it is the snow or if I was worn out from yesterday but I am tired today. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I have taken two short naps in my chair today and still feel tired. I am just on this side of my last nerve so am grateful for a quiet day at home. One of those days that nothing feels easy for me.

I went to the website they gave me to register the windows and the link was broken. I had to call them and was able to do it over the phone. The guy that took the information seemed competent and I got an email confirmation that the windows are registered. Grateful that got done.

I have a list of people I need to call today. I need to schedule an oil change, get an appointment to balance my tires, call the heating company about Ellexia’s cold bedroom, check with my plumber about the booster pump and call the glass company about a broken window at Michelle’s house. Don’t have the energy to make any of those calls right now. Maybe later this afternoon or Monday I will be able to make them. If I run into a snag of any sort calling them, I feel like I might snap and it isn’t worth it. All can wait till a better day.

KU Research Program sent me about 10 surveys I had to answer. The last one I ran into a bit of struggle with as when I would answer one question, it would erase my answer from the question above it. I finally had to adjust my answers to get it to take the answer. I couldn’t answer all of them with the same rating. Oh well, it got done.

The snow is beautiful. We have gotten several inches of it. There has been no wind to blow it around. It looks heavy and wet. We need the moisture so am grateful for that. I will have to go down to take care of the chickens in a bit so will get to walk through it. We are still getting little flurries now and then. The forecast is calling for a wintery mix for the next several days. Next Monday night and into Tuesday we have high chances for lots more snow. Betting my trip to KC next Tuesday will get postponed.

One day soon I will need to get my second shingles shot scheduled. I want to make sure I have two or three free days afterwards in case I react like I did last time. I will wait to schedule it until I know for sure when I go back to KC. This visit is the one where they measure my exercise ability and I will need all the strength I have for that day.

No plans for the weekend. With this weather I am grateful I can stay tucked in at home and not get out. Next Wednesday looks like it will be clear but if we get lots of snow on Tuesday it may not be a good day to get out either. I’m grateful I am content to stay home for long periods of time.

Just one of those days where it is best that I keep myself in time-out and limit my interactions with others. I haven’t had a day like this is a long time. Guessing I wore myself out yesterday with all the brain testing and a second drive to KC in less than a week. I’m sure by tomorrow I will have my energy back and all will be well again.

Grateful for the beauty of the snow on the prairie, grateful for this quiet day at home, and grateful all is well!

Just got home from KC. I left this morning at 9:30 and got home a little before 6:00. It feels like it has been a long day. My brain is tired.

The first hour of the visit was going over the consent form. I think it was 20 pages long. Then the lady went over my medication list, Covid immunization record, and gave me a debit card loaded with $50 from today’s pay out. When I go back for the MRI and the physical testing part they will add more to it. I filled my car with gas and had lunch and spent $50 so broke even for today.

I then spent two hours with the lady that tested my brain. I did lots of different mental exercises such as hit the button of the color of the ink when a word popped up on the screen. It might say blue but if it is was in red ink I was to hit red. That took some focus and concentration. She did about 20 of games like that with me. The one I had the most trouble with was the one that had flat shapes that folded up into a thingy and you had to guess which thingy matched the flat shapes. Not my strength! She gave me a list of 12 things verbally that I had to recall afterwards. She repeated it twice to see if I could remember more of them and then 10 minutes later asked me again to recall the things. Then 20 minutes later she had a list of 24 things that I had to recall if they were on the original list or not.

My brain is tired tonight! I haven’t used it that much for a long time. There is a chance that I didn’t score high enough to proceed with the program. If so, they will call me by Monday to let me know. No news is good news and they don’t share the results with me otherwise. I will repeat this testing six months into the program and again at the end of the program.

Both ladies were easy to visit with and positive people to be around. I had a good conversation with her mental testing lady especially. She really put me at ease. She told me to offer myself grace throughout the process and if I mess up to not let it mess with me. My word for the year is Grace so that helped ease my anxiety. I know how to do Grace.

I was proud of myself for going with the flow and not getting worked up when I would miss one of the answers by hitting the wrong button. I never got stressed out or worked up and was able to stay above neutral on the consciousness scale even when I was doing the part that was hard for me. I’m tired tonight but not energy depleted.

I talked to them about my appointment for next week and what I can do if the weather is bad. We are going to visit Monday and make a decision but if it is bad they will reschedule the two appointments. Fingers crossed I can get safely to KC but good to have a backup plan just in case.

They told me they hope to start the actual exercise program the end of January or the first week of February. They have four other people from Emporia they are working up and we all should be done with the initial testing by the middle of January.

Afterwards I went to Chipotle for lunch and then made a quick stop at Costco for chicken tenders. They finally had some. Got them and got out of there. Parking was at a premium again although inside the store it didn’t feel as busy as it had been last week.

Drove home and stopped at Michelle’s for a hot minute to pick up something and then came home. I was chasing daylight as I thought I was going to have to do chickens but Kathy had taken care of them for me. I’m grateful I didn’t have to do them in the dark.

Got a message from the window people and they are coming tomorrow to install the last two windows. They wanted to get them in before the snow flies. It will be good to get that project wrapped up. I got a bill from them but am going to have to ask them to rewrite the bill if possible so I can submit it for final payment from the insurance company. I don’t like the way it was worded.

No plans until next Tuesday when I am to go back to KC. We shall see what Mr. Winter is going to do and what the weather is like this weekend and into next week. Sounds like we are in for a winter storm or two. Grateful the roads were dry and clear for today’s visit.

It will be good to go to bed tonight. I didn’t sleep much last night. I think I took too long of a nap yesterday and I couldn’t sleep in this morning. Hopefully I will sleep good tonight.

Grateful this part of the testing is over with, grateful I was able to have fun with it and stress over it, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

Woke up to a winter wonderland outside. We had a heavy fog that covered everything with ice crystals. The sun broke through and it was absolutely beautiful. Grateful I didn’t have to drive in the thick fog.

By the time I went to Emporia late morning, the fog was starting to lift. It was heavy in the low places on the highway but not too bad. I was surprised how many trucks and cars didn’t have their headlights on.

Went through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. Stopped at the bank downtown to deposit a check and then stopped at the grocery store downtown to get a bag of ice. Came home after that.

I came home really tired so ate some lunch and took a long winter’s nap. I have to get up in the morning by 8:00 so hoping I can get to sleep tonight at a decent time. I have to be in KC at 11:30 so will leave a little after 9:30.

I can’t think of anything I need in KC so will come home after my appointment is over. I’ll probably stop for lunch somewhere and then drive home. The forecast for tomorrow looks good so should be good to go.

No plans for the weekend. I have to go back to KC Tuesday and am going to talk to them about that tomorrow. The forecast for Tuesday is calling for 5 – 6 inches of snow in KC that is to fall Monday night and into Tuesday. Not sure I want to drive in that. I’ll see what they say my options are.

My get up and go got up and left the station without me today. Haven’t had any motivation to do anything today. Yesterday was productive but not so much today.

I was sitting in my chair a while ago and the sun was shining in my eyes. I finally remembered I could lower the shades and presto – no sun in my face. I lowered them overnight to help keep the house warmer and had raised them all this morning. Nice to be able to block out the afternoon sun.

I had forgotten to lower the ones in my bedroom last night so the morning sun woke me up this morning. I may have to put a reminder on my phone so I lower the blinds before I go to bed.

It warmed up into the low 40’s today and it was a rare day without much wind. It was really nice walking down to take care of the chickens. I wish the whole winter could be like this but there is a cold front on the way and things will change over the weekend.

This is one of those days where at the end of it I wonder what in the world I did all day. Other than the trip to town and taking care of the chickens, I can’t think of a thing I have done. Just not in the mood today to do anything. Grateful I have the luxury to take a quiet day and “be”.

Grateful for the winter beauty this morning, grateful I didn’t have to drive in the worst of it, and grateful I can take a day and do nothing.

It has been a productive day on the prairie. The couple that owns Made In the Shade came and hung the new shades today. It only took them a little over an hour to hang them. You can tell they have done this hundreds of times. I think I like them. I will have to use them for a bit to get used to them. The ones in the living room and dining room have a remote control to raise and lower them. I need to use it several times so I don’t forget how to work it.

I vacuumed the steps today. That is not my favorite job to do and I put it off way too long. Kathy’s cat likes to sit on the steps and leaves behind lots of cat hair. It took me a bit to get each step as free of cat hair as possible. I need to put a reminder on my calendar so I do them more often. I don’t go downstairs very often and forget about them.

Got some paperwork that had been on my desk for a couple of days taken care of today. The tax preparation folder came in late last week so will start gathering information for my 2023 income taxes. I like to get that done as soon as possible and get it to the tax accountant as early as possible. My tax forms won’t come in the mail until the end of the month so will have to wait for those to come in.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. The sun is shining and the wind is calm. It is to reach the low 40’s later this afternoon. I don’t mind doing chicken chores when the weather is like this. We are in for a change though with a major storm coming in Thursday evening and into Friday. Hope it doesn’t arrive until after I get home from KC Thursday afternoon. Next Tuesday is looking a bit iffy weather wise. Hope the forecast changes and that day is dry as I have to go back to KC then.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia to go to the Chiropractor and get a few groceries. I have a couple of letters that need to be mailed so will go by the post office and drop those off. I have a few items to drop off at Goodwill so will get those dropped off. Trying to find some more things to add to the pile so it is worth stopping and dropping things off.

I called my Aunt to wish her a happy birthday. I was a date late but we had a good conversation. I changed the date on my calendar so I won’t be a day off next year. It is always nice to talk to her and get caught up on what is happening in the family. She is amazing and still lives alone and does too much for others. My two remaining aunts are a special treasure for me.

No plans for the weekend. It is to turn cold and we have a chance for some precipitation. It will be good to stay tucked in at home. Next Tuesday I have to go back to KC so trusting I can make it. The 13th is my Five Wishes Workshop in the afternoon. Trusting some people are able to make it and we can have a good conversation around final wishes and get a good start on getting those wishes documented. All are welcome to come and get started on making your living will.

Still sitting a rung or two or three above neutral on the consciousness scale. It feels good to stay out of the muck pond and get some things done. The empty space ahead of me right now feels like a gift to myself. Some days it feels overwhelming but today it feels more like a gift.

Grateful for my Aunt and the conversation I had with her today, grateful the shades are installed, and grateful for an empty afternoon ahead for me.

Happy New Year to one and all. May this year bring peace, calm, joy and love to all.

The sun is shining on the prairie this afternoon and it warmed up to 40. It is a beautiful start to the New Year. Sure wished it would stay like this the rest of the winter.

I went to a friend’s house for some black eyed peas and cornbread this afternoon. It was delicious and the conversation was wonderful. My favorite thing to do is gather with like-minded friends.

The girls gave me 14 eggs today – go girls! The rooster thought about coming after me as I was leaving the pen. He got close to walking out the door but turned around at the last minute. Maybe he learned his lesson the other day.

I dug out my daily/weekly/monthly checklist from a year ago and am going to give it another try. I really need to establish a better routine for myself this year. I am hoping this will give me a good foundation to build on. I waste too much time and there are too many times when I can’t remember what needs to be done. I do feel better when I am a bit productive each day. Doing a little each day keeps things from piling up on me and then I get overwhelmed.

Tomorrow the shade lady is coming to do the install of all the new shades. It will be good to get those up. I am sitting in my chair in the corner of the living room and have to keep moving my chair to get out of the direct sunlight so I can see my screen. I am hoping the new shades will help reduce the amount of propane I use to heat the house.

Wednesday I will need to go to Emporia and get a few groceries and go to the Chiropractor. Thursday I am going to KC for the KU Research program testing. No plans for the weekend.

I have lots of empty space time on my calendar right now. I have a little project or two to work on when the mood strikes. However, I am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of empty space. Sure hope the exercise program can get started soon rather than later and give me something to do each day.

The lady that coordinates the income tax program that I volunteered for several years ago called and requested I help out this year. I am still sitting with that to decide if I want to do so or not. Last year I dropped out after not being able to pass the test. I was in a very different state of mind last year than I am this year and it feels possible for me this year. I will continue to sit with it and make a decision when I know which way I want to go. It would put something on my calendar.

I’ve been able to maintain a level or two above neutral on the consciousness scale. When I’m not around people too much it is easier for me to do so. My challenge to myself is to be around people more during 2024 and still be able to maintain my level.

Grateful for friends to gather with, grateful for an abundance of eggs, and grateful for empty space to fill with whatever my heart desires.

The last time i write 2023. What a year this has been. It started with me in a deep hole but I have managed to climb out of the hole and gain lots of altitude throughout the year. Not a year I want to repeat, but am grateful for all those that pushed me, pulled me, and were by my side every step of the way.

It has been a lazy day on the prairie for me. I took a chair nap after I had breakfast. I seem to sleep better in my chair, than I do in my bed.

It is another cloudy, windy day on the prairie. I sure enjoyed the sunshine and warmer temperatures yesterday. The forecast for the week isn’t looking like it will warm up again anytime soon. So far Thursday looks dry. I trust it will stay that way.

No plans for the evening. I might watch a bit of the New Year’s Eve show from NYC but I may not. I rarely stay up until midnight unless I can’t sleep. After taking a long nap today that might be the case today.. A friend invited me over for black eyed peas tomorrow so will probably go in and enjoy those. I can use all the luck I can get.

Tuesday the shade lady is coming to install the new shades and Thursday I go back to KC. Wednesday I will need to go into Emporia and go to the Chiropractor and take care of any errands that come up between now and then.

I’m grateful the New Year begins tomorrow. December has felt like it has been 90 days long. Time usually flies by for me but sure feels like it has slowed way down lately. I am out of my normal rhythm and routine. Trusting it will return and things will feel normal again.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I do choose a word for the year that guides my intentions throughout the year. This year my word is Grace. I had discovered how important it is to offer myself Grace when things don’t go the way I wanted them to do. Offering myself grace allows for my humanness to do its thing and breaks my addiction to perfection. My self talk has changed as a result and I want to continue that practice into 2024.

When Jim first left the house in November, 2022, my therapist recommended that I learn to offer myself Grace. It felt so foreign to me at the time but I have really come to appreciate the value of it. The only person that can really take care of me is myself.

Grateful for chair naps on cloudy, cold winter days, grateful for a New Year coming and New beginnings, and grateful December is finally over.

Just got home from my KC trip. I went to Costco first thing when I got to KC. I have never seen that store so busy. Had to drive around to find a parking spot and wait for someone to pull out. Inside was busy – they needed traffic cops so you could enter the main areas of the store with your cart.

They were out of chicken tenders – again! Not sure why they can’t keep those in stock. They didn’t have any roasted chickens either. Got everything else on my list though. I allowed an extra 30 minutes to check out as the line was ten deep at one point. But when I got up there it was only three deep and it didn’t take long to get checked out.

Stopped at their gas station and filled the car up with gas. For some reason gas in Emporia was as cheap as Costco gas today. Usually Costco is 20 to 40 cents a gallon cheaper.

Met Nicole and Geoff for an early dinner. The restaurant was surprisingly busy considering we met around 4:00. Service and food were both excellent and the company even better. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kiddos.

Went to my friend’s retirement party. I managed to find it without getting lost. I didn’t stay long but it was important that I pop in for a bit. The older I get, the more I appreciate my friends and feel it is important to support them when they have a major life accomplishment.

Drove home after my quick stop at the party. Traffic was heavy most of the way to and from. It was manageable in the city and I never did have to slow down much but never could put my lights on bright. Saw lots of dead animals on the side of the road on the way to KC today. Didn’t notice them on the way home as it was too dark.

Got my car unloaded from my Costco haul. I always find things I didn’t know I needed when I go there. It is probably a good thing the nearest Costco is 75 miles away. I do like shopping there.

Tomorrow the only thing I have on my to-do list is watch the Chief’s game in the afternoon. Sure hope they play better than they did a week ago.

Tuesday the lady is coming to install the new blinds. I sure hope I like them. There were way too many choices of patterns and colors to choose from and I can’t even remember which one I chose.

I get to go back to KC Thursday for my first KU Research program visit. It is scheduled to take up to four hours to complete all the testing they are doing that day. May not get anything else done that trip but we shall see. Can’t think of anything I need to shop for but maybe something will come up before then.

One day next week I will have to go into Emporia to go to the Chiropractor and pick up a few groceries. It looks like I will get a couple of stay at home days in this week – those are my favorite days of the week.

Still holding myself a step or two or three above the neutral level on the consciousness chart. I handled being in the crowded store really well and didn’t get frustrated with traffic. I will call that a win! Usually going to the city wears me out and drains me but I don’t feel drained tonight. We shall see how well I do when I have to go back in less than a week.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful to get to spend time with a dear friend and his family, and grateful to have dinner with Nicole and Geoff.

Went to bed early last night and woke up early. Fell back to sleep in my chair mid morning and slept for another hour. Finally feel rested.

Took a letter to the post office in Strong City to mail. I had meant to put it in my mailbox to go out yesterday and forgot so had to drive it to town. Stopped and had lunch on the way home. When I walked out of the restaurant after lunch, I realized I had on my slippers. Wonder if anyone noticed?

Called the window people to request that the final invoice be separated between the windows on the west and north side of the house and the windows on the east side. I have to submit to insurance the bill for the west and north windows. The window people will bill after the final two windows get installed mid month and told me they could split up the bill.

Called the insurance adjuster and left a message. I need to ask how to request an extension of the six months repair time. The siding of the house will not repaired until spring and the guttering and painting can’t be done until the siding gets repaired. I hope he calls back and lets me know how to request the extension. I want it in writing and not just verbally given. Not that I don’t trust the insurance company but some things have gone down differently than he said they would and I need it in writing.

Saw on Facebook where the son of a friend died unexpectedly this week. Another reminder that death happens when we least expect it to sometimes. I immediately wondered if his family had discussed the what if’s. Every time I hear of an untimely death, I know the work I am doing to help people make their final wishes known, is important work.

Tomorrow I am going to KC. Going to make a stop at Costco and then am meeting Nicole and Geoff for an early dinner. After dinner I am going to a friend’s retirement party and then will drive home. The weather forecast looks good for tomorrow. It will be good to see Nicole and Geoff for a hot minute and to see my friend and celebrate with him and his family.

No plans for New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day. I will watch the Chiefs game on Sunday. Hoping it is a better game than the one on Christmas Day was.

Tuesday the new shades will be installed and Thursday I have to go back to KC for the first of three appointments for the KU Research Exercise program. I haven’t checked the weather forecast for that day but crossing my fingers it is good. If it is looking iffy, I will go up the night before and not take chances. I don’t like driving on slick, wet roads any more.

One year ago today my divorce from Jim was final. I remember the relief that I felt that day knowing it was over. It is hard to look back and see how dark everything felt a year ago . I think I was living in the muck pond most of the last year I was with Jim. It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong and to realize I couldn’t fix it or change it.

I woke up this morning feeling lighter than I have for a long time. That pit in my stomach is gone and anything feels possible again. I am proud of how far I have come this last year. I rarely fall into the muck pond now and if I do, it is a short mud bath and I am right back out again. It feels like I have climbed up another step on the consciousness ladder of emotions and feelings.

Grateful for sleep and feeling rested, grateful Nicole and Geoff can meet up with me tomorrow, and grateful a year has passed and I am back to being fully and completely myself again.

It was not a good night for sleep last night. Didn’t fall asleep until almost 1:00 and then woke up at 3:00 and never did go back to sleep. Finally got up at 4:30 and started my day.

I got most of the kitchen cabinets cleaned out and new shelf liner put down in the cabinets that needed it. Feels good to get that job taken care of. I found some things to donate and did some rearranging so hoping I can find things easier.

Cody came out for the day around 8:15. He has been really good for me today. He was sick for several weeks before Christmas and still seems a bit quieter than his normal. I’m glad he came to spend the day with me.

The lady I ordered my blinds/shades from called to tell me the shades came in today. She is coming next Tuesday to install them. I sure hope I like them. I am pleased they will be up soon. When the sun shines (I think I remember that) the light is rather intense in the living room and it will be good to block some of it. I am hoping they will help with reducing utility costs too.

The window guys let me know the two back ordered windows are due in next week. They will need a week to prep them and then they should be out no later than the middle of January to install them. I’m anxious to get that bill to the insurance adjuster to see how much they are going to pay.

I’m going to KC Saturday to go to a retirement party for a friend. I think I will go up a bit early and go to Costco first. The party is a come and go and starts at 5:00. I’ll pop in for a bit and then head back home. I have to go back to KC January 4 for my first KU visit for the exercise program. I go back yet again on January 9 for the second and third round of tests. Lots of trips to KC in the next two weeks.

Sometime after January 10, I need to remember to schedule my second Shingles shot. I’ll have to make the appointment when I have a free day or two afterwards in case I react like I did with the first one. Luckily I was only down for one day afterwards. It will be good to get that over with. Still debating about the Hepatitis series. I’m not a high risk unless I decide to do some international travel over the next year or two.

I finally got the Sirius reset on my car radio. I was having trouble getting the reset signal to go through but it finally worked yesterday. Not sure what I was doing wrong but grateful it finally worked.

Got the heat lamp bulb replaced in the dog crate. When I came back up from doing the chicken chores the cat was lying underneath the heat of the lamp. She enjoys heat and will enjoy having the heat lamp going again. They have a heated pad in the big dog house that Roxy and the cat share. Roxy won’t let Sophia in the dog house so Sophia has to make do with a rug on the floor of the garage.

Feeling more and more grounded and settled. It will be good to have the New Year come with all the possibilities it brings. I am in a much better space this year and really feel like 2024 will bring lots of great things for me.

Grateful to have had a play day with Cody, grateful the shades will be installed next week, and grateful for new beginnings.

Went to Emporia this morning to go to the Chiropractor. Stopped and got my car washed on the way through town. Not sure it does much good to wash my car as the gravel roads are muddy right now but it was clean for a hot minute.

After the Chiropractor I went to the Vet and got flea and tick meds for the dogs and cat. I forgot to get HeartGuard so will have to go back another day for that. Forgetting something seems to be my theme of the day.

Next stop was Walmart. I needed a birthday card and shelf lining paper. I got the shelf lining paper and forgot the birthday card. I was at the stop light to turn on the highway when I remembered the card so turned around and went back in to get the card.

Came home and warmed up. That wind is brutal today!

Did the chicken chores. The rooster gave me the evil eye today but left me alone. The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, windy day.

Loaded the car with the recycling and took it to Cottonwood Falls. The dumpster was gone so went back to Strong City and stopped at Clarks and paid my plumbing bill. Yikes! It was as bad as I was afraid it was going to be. Went back to Cottonwood Falls and the recycling trailer was just getting parked. Dumped a big load and then came home.

Time to tuck in and stay home for a bit. The sun has broken through the clouds this afternoon but it sure hasn’t warmed up much. The snow is pretty much all gone except for the hidden places. It is to warm up a bit for the next couple of days but not get much over 45.

The full moon broke through the clouds a couple times last night. One time during the night I woke up and it was so light outside I thought my clock was wrong. It was beautiful shining on the prairie and casting moon shadows on the hills.

Tomorrow Cody is coming out to play with me. Ellexia told me she would come too but we haven’t figured out if she still wants to come and if so, how she is going to get out here. I doubt that she comes. Friday is a free day and Saturday I am going to KC for a retirement party for a dear friend. I will spend New Year’s Eve tucked inside at home. I rarely stay up until midnight unless I can’t sleep.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon but the pit in my stomach seems to be gone – or at least is quiet right now. I remember a year ago I was staying at my dear neighbor’s garage apartment and Nicole was here at the house. It was a hard time for me but I was wrapped in so much love and support that it made it much easier. It was a huge relief that all of Jim’s stuff was getting removed from the house and I could start 2023 off with a fresh start.

Grateful my errands got taken care of today, grateful for the 12 eggs my girls gave me today, and grateful for the love and support of my friends and family a year ago.

The rooster was back in the coop with the girls when I went down this afternoon. Not sure how he figured out how to get back in and not sure I am glad or not. He had to fly over the fence. There are small openings around the coop that doesn’t have fencing over the top. He might be smarter than I give him credit for. He completely avoided me today. Maybe he learned his lesson. Not going to hold my breath!

The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, snowy day. We got enough snow to cover the ground but as it warmed up this afternoon, most of it has melted away already although it continues to snow off and on. This is the type of snow I like – beautiful to watch come down and then it melts away quickly.

Got the Chex Mix made today. Now when the grandkids request some, I have it ready to go. I may see them Thursday when I watch Cody. They like to come out and play with him. We shall see what the roads are like and if they come or not.

Kathy got brave and went to Emporia today. She said the roads were OK. I need to go in tomorrow and go to the Chiropractor and then I need to stop at the Vet and get the dogs and cat their quarterly meds. Not sure I need any groceries.

I also need to go to Strong City and dump recycling and stop at Clarks and check on the bill for repairing the rental house’s sewer pipe. I haven’t gotten a bill yet and not sure how that works with them. I also need a couple of heat lamp bulbs – one for the dogs and one for the chickens when it gets really cold.

I got my Christmas decorations put away. All I had out were the Christmas cards people had sent me so it took me a whole minute to clean that up. So grateful I didn’t put a tree up this year and have to take it down. I don’t enjoy taking decorations off the tree – don’t really enjoy putting them on either but that is easier than taking them off.

Got two loads of laundry washed, dried, folded and put away today. Took the trash down although I am not sure if they are picking it up tomorrow or Thursday. The mail wasn’t here yet when I went down with the trash. The mail carrier must be dodging high water spots on the country roads.

Anyone else confused as to what day of the week it is? Today feels like Monday to me with the holiday yesterday. It will be screwed up again next week too with January 1 on a Monday. One of these days I will get oriented as to day of week. Hope I have it figured out before I do my memory test with KU in January. One of the questions they usually ask is what day of the week and month is it. I have a hard time keeping that straight these days. Hazard of being retired – everyday is about the same and I don’t have to watch a calendar much.

Still feeling that pit in my stomach but it has gotten smaller and less noticeable. I’m still struggling with sticking with anything for very long and can’t seem to remember what needs to be done. Still trusting that it will all be better after the 29th which is the day my divorce was final a year ago. Holding body memories from that time last year when I was in a state of shock and had fallen far down the rabbit hole. It is amazing how far I have come in one year and trust I will continue to climb even higher.

Grateful (I guess) that the rooster made his way home last night, grateful for the moisture on the prairie, and grateful for the beautiful snow that is falling (especially since it is melting quickly).

Merry Christmas to one and all, if you celebrate. It has been a quiet day at home for me. The cold front came in and brought a bit of snow to the prairie. Not enough to cover the ground but there was a little bit of snow piled up on the deck this morning. Close enough to call it a White Christmas? Maybe!

I put some chili and a corn and ham chowder in crock pots this morning that I had fixed last night. Kathy and I have eaten on it all day. Jason came out to watch the football game with me and ate some of both and took some home with him. I love days like this – quiet, at home, hot soup to eat on and a football game on the TV. Too bad it wasn’t a good game for the Chiefs.

When I went down to do chicken chores the rooster came after me as I was leaving the coop. He followed me out the gate. I tried to get him to go back in but he wouldn’t go in. I shall see how this works out for him tonight. I wouldn’t be too sad if the coyotes decide to have him for a Christmas treat. I do not tolerate misbehavior in my chicken coop and that guy has come after me three times now. That is my limit! Maybe if he survives the night outside, he will behave himself if he decides to go back in.

The girls gave me 12 eggs on this cold, windy day. It sure wouldn’t feel so cold if the wind wasn’t blowing so hard. It is 25 out but we have a wind chill of 13. That is way too cold for my liking. Not going to warm up much this whole week.

No plans for this week except Thursday when Cody is going to come out to play for the day. Saturday I am going to KC for a retirement party for a dear friend. I will go to town one day to go the Chiropractor and pick up a few groceries.

I told Kathy this morning that it will take me one whole minute to take down my Christmas decorations. The only Christmas stuff I have out is the Christmas cards I received this year. I will read them all one more time and take them down and then Christmas will officially be over. It was a relatively stress free Christmas for me this year. I look forward to the New Year. December has lasted a long time for me this year.

Feeling a bit down this afternoon. It has been rainy, cloudy and dark outside all day. The sound of the wind has been noticeable most of last night and most of the day. It wears me out after a while. I need a sunny day but it is that time of year where sunny days are rare and few and far between.

Grateful Jason came out today to spend some time with me, grateful for hot soup on a cold day, and grateful Christmas is over for the year.

Woke up thinking about the soups I am going to make for tomorrow and realized I hadn’t gotten a few of the ingredients I will need. I got dressed and went to Emporia to pick them up. I decided to go to Good’s instead of Walmart as Walmart seems to be out of the things I need these days. Good’s had everything I needed and wasn’t busy. I paid for what I got and came home.

I was feeling a bit off this morning. I ate some breakfast and got really tired so I went back to bed and slept a couple more hours. Woke up feeling rested for the first time in several days. Naps on rainy days are the best!

The rain woke me up a couple times last night. Don’t think we got more than an inch but every drop was welcomed.

The temperature has already dropped from a high of 58 down to 45 and is only going to continue to drop. There is a rather stiff wind that is shifting to the north. The high for tomorrow is only going to be 37. We have a chance for some snow overnight and during the day tomorrow. The cold front is coming in and is going to hang around most of the week.

The girls gave me 10 very dirty eggs today. I need to find a chicken trainer that can teach them how to wipe their feet before they get in the nesting boxes. Grateful they are still laying right now.

Haven’t gotten much done again today. I am going to make the two soups for tomorrow tonight. That way all I have to do in the morning is set them to cook in the crock pots and lunch will be ready if anyone comes to share. If we get ice and snow I doubt anyone can come. Kathy and I will enjoy them regardless.

Still haven’t made the Chex Mix. I was kinda waiting to see if anyone was going to be able to make it tomorrow. I may get the urge to make it yet tonight – we shall see. Not feeling too motivated to do much today.

I haven’t found my Christmas spirit this year but that is OK. I like being able to be authentic with myself and not force something that isn’t there. It has been a relatively stress free Christmas and I will take that as a win for the season. I am ready for January 1 and all the possibilities and potential that a New Year brings.

My word for 2024 is Grace. I finally learned this year how to offer myself Grace and want to continue that practice for 2024. I find myself talking much more gently with myself and allowing myself to have hard moments without feeling shame or blame. Life is a constant balancing of the good with the bad. For way too many years, I struggle to accept my hard feelings and would stuff them or try to make them go away. I am grateful I have learned how to allow them to surface and to honor them. Grace allows me to continue doing that.

Grateful I remembered what I need for the soup early so I could get it before the stores got too busy, grateful for Grace and the peace it brings, and grateful for rainy day naps.

Went to Emporia a little after noon. I met Jason, Melissa, Michelle and Tagen for lunch at Bruff’s. I was craving some time with my kiddos and sent them a text to invite them to join me for lunch and to my surprise they were all available. We had a delightful time visiting for an hour or so. That satisfied an itch I had to see my kids.

Stopped at Walmart afterwards to pick up my grocery order. They were out of Corn Chex, Rice Chex, cottage cheese and butter. Sometimes I scratch my head wondering how they run out of things like this.

I went to Good’s and they had all four items Walmart had been out of, so got those and came home. Traffic was heavy in town and on the highway. I think I get to stay home now for the next couple of days.

It took me a bit to get everything unloaded and put away. I got a bigger grocery order than I normally get today as I want to make a batch of Chex Mix again and got some things to make two kinds of soup for Christmas Day. The kids might come out to watch the football game and eat soup with me Christmas Day.

I am doing laundry today and need to go down and take care of the chickens when I get done blogging. It is lightly misting but it is 56 out so doesn’t feel too cold. By Christmas the high is only going to be 38 so a cold front will be moving in. The high is to be in the mid 30’s all week next week. Yuck! I kinda like the mid 50’s better.

We have a 70% chance of precipitation on Christmas Day and it may come as ice or snow or rain. Crossing my fingers for all the travelers that day that we get rain and nothing freezing.

When I get the chickens done I want to get one more room detailed clean today. Not sure which one I will do next as I have many to choose from. If I keep working at it and clean a room everyday or so, before I know it, the whole house will be clean. I look forward to that.

I tried to reset my Sirius radio in my car today but didn’t have any luck. I’ll have to try again another day. Hopefully I can get it reset without having to call them. Not sure why it didn’t reset today. I was in town so maybe I need to be home with better internet. I managed to fix my Sonos system’s connection to Sirius earlier this week with no issue.

Typed up some of the pages I need to have done for the Last Wishes Workshop I am hosting January 13. I still have a couple more pages to write up and copy. It will be good to have those done and ready. I need to sent out an email invitation to invite those that are not on Facebook. I forget not all the world does Facebook. The problem with Facebook is you don’t always see everyone’s posts. They seem to select what you get to see and unless you go looking it is easy to miss someone’s posts.

After seeing the kids today, the knot in my stomach quieted down a bit. It is still there but has moved to the background of my consciousness. Sure trusting that after the 29th, it will disappear completely. I’ve felt a bit disconnected from others the last couple of days. I know it is body memories of last year when I felt so very alone and sad. And this too shall pass…..

Grateful the kiddos could join me for lunch today, grateful to find the out of stock items at another store, and grateful it is almost a New Year.

We had a beautiful Winter Solstice gathering last night. Seven of us gathered to celebrate the return of the light and to relax and rest in the darkest day of the year. What a privilege and honor it is to gather with these friends.

Got up this morning and made some no bake cookies. Took some of them to a friend this morning and dropped them off. Took the rest of them to my aunt in Wichita.

Kathy and I went to Wichita and had lunch at Chipotle and then went to the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair. Lunch was a bit of a disappointment to me. The food tasted very salty today for some reason. I like salty food but not this one. This has never happened before at Chipotle and trust it won’t again.

The Spirit Fair was about what I expected. It was a bit smaller than I guessed it might be but was full of a variety of vendors selling stones, hand made soaps, jewelry, candles, etc. They had several people doing readings of various kinds and someone doing sound healings. It didn’t take long to walk through it all and see what they had to offer. Neither one of us found anything of enough interest that we bought anything.

We stopped at our Aunt’s house to drop off the cookies. She wasn’t home so I put the cookies by the front door and we headed home. It felt like it was a long drive home but we got here safe and sound. Traffic was heavier than normal but manageable. It was good to get home.

No plans for the rest of the day. I feel rather tired so may go take a nap after I take care of the chickens. I don’t have to get up early tomorrow so could stay up late tonight if I take a nap. We shall see what happens.

Tomorrow I am picking up a Walmart grocery order at 2:00. After that I will tuck myself in my house and stay in until after Christmas. It will be nice to have a couple of quiet days at home.

We got some rain overnight. My Tempest station is only showing we got less than half an inch. It isn’t always accurate though. There is water in the puddles on the road and in my back yard. That usually doesn’t happen unless we get at least an inch. Grateful for every drop we got. I’ll have to wear my muck boots down to do chickens later.

It has been a mostly cloudy, foggy type of day. The sun tried to break through on the way home but didn’t quite make it. The fog was rather dense when we left home this morning. It seems to be returning this afternoon. It is in the mid 50’s which is nice as you know the roads don’t have black ice on them.

Next week I am watching Cody for one day but don’t have much else on my calendar. I will continue to avoid the stores due to the after Christmas crowds. It will be good to get back to normal shopping conditions the following week. Next Saturday I am driving to KC to attend a friend’s retirement party. I will be making three trips to KC over the next couple of weeks to take care of the exercise programs requirements. Trusting this nice weather will continue.

Got the bill to renew my car insurance for mid January. I need to call them and tell them thanks but no thanks. If they don’t want to insure my house, they don’t get to insure my car. I have a reminder on my calendar to go in to pay for the new house and car insurance with the new company the middle of January.

Having trouble keeping my eyes open so think I will go lay down for a bit. I will take sleep whenever it finds me and it feels like I could fall asleep rather quickly right now. Feeling a bit out of sorts and know a nap would help that too.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful for a beautiful Winter Solstice Ceremony and conversation last night with my dear friends, and grateful for sleep whenever it finds me.

It was a bit of a short night. I took my bath around 9:00 and while in the bath got a text from Michelle. She needed to go to the ER as she was in a lot of pain. I quickly got out of the bath and got dressed and headed to town.

I picked her up and took her in. I sat out in the lobby while she went back. It is a humbling experience to see the traffic that comes and goes from the ER. Michelle finally got finished up around 3:00 and I took her home and then drove home. I’m grateful they were able to help Michelle with her pain levels.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. I gave up around 7:30 this morning and got up. One of those nights that it was hard to fall asleep and if I managed that, I wasn’t able to stay asleep.

Got the tall ladder out of the garage and got the very top of the kitchen cabinets washed and cleaned. Felt good to get that job done. I found lots of dust so it had been a while since it had last been done. Feels so good to have a very clean living room, dining room and kitchen.

I still need to clean the inside of all the kitchen cabinets but that little project will wait for another day. Most are not cluttered and just need wiped out and new shelf liner. I need to go to town in the next few days and will get new shelf liner so I can do that project.

I laid down for a nap this afternoon and managed to finally find a little over an hour of sleep. When I woke up it was lightly raining and it looks like it has been raining for a bit. So grateful for every drop the prairie can receive. It will be a muck boot type of walk down to the chickens in a bit.

Several friends are coming over this evening for a Winter Solstice gathering. That will be a wonderful time together. I treasure our time together and will enjoy this ceremony as my highlight of the Christmas season. It is incredible to me how many similarities there are between ancient rituals and the way Christians celebrate holidays.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to Wichita for the day. We will have lunch out and then go to the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair. I’m looking forward to a day out. I’ve never been to this Spirit Fair before so hoping it is worthwhile. It will be fun regardless.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I do want to go to the grocery store and get supplies to make the grandkids some more Chex Mix. Tagen told me they were running low on it and I have no more in the freezer. Trying to decide when I want to go to avoid the last minute Christmas shoppers. Maybe I will just do an on-line order and not go in the store. I need a birthday card for early January but that can wait a couple of days if it means avoiding lots of shoppers.

I have been off my eating plan for almost a month again. I decided to give myself some grace and not push myself until after the holidays. It has been a rough couple of weeks for myself with my restlessness and body memories. Sometimes when I try to push through something and do too much, it doesn’t go easy or well for me. Offering myself some grace and compassion can help a difficult time feel a bit easier. I will get back on the wagon when the time is right.

I still have the pit in my stomach and a faint bit of restlessness but it is getting better. Tonight’s ceremony will help ground me and settle things. As soon as Christmas passes and the 29th is over, I’m sure I will be back on track. So grateful I figured out what was behind my intense feelings.

I was looking for a Winter Solstice reading today to use for our ceremony tonight and found several I like. One said that it is wise to clean your house and personal space during the Winter Solstice time. It helps to reset the energy in your space and allow new things to flow in. Maybe that is why I have felt the inner urge to clean this week. It does feel fresh to have a really clean house that has been decluttered.

Grateful Michelle got some relief from her pain, grateful the main part of my house is cleaned, and grateful for the rain falling on the prairie today.

The end of this month is moving like molasses for me. It feels like we had our family Christmas about a month ago. Why isn’t it January already?

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Got up before 7:00 and fiddled around for a bit. Went back to bed around 9:30 and found a couple more hours of sleep. Hard to feel rested though when sleep is hard to find.

Have had trouble finding motivation to do much today. I have gotten about half of the kitchen detailed cleaned. Hoping I can get the other half done yet tonight. What I have gotten done looks good. I want the rest of the kitchen to look that good too.

I am going to do a Final Wishes Workshop on January 13 at 2:00 at my house. It will last about two hours. I will take you through the steps to complete the Five Wishes workbook and give you material to take home so you can write out your final wishes. We may or may not get to the point of completion depending on how quick of a decision maker you are. These things are important and it is more important to get them right for you than to rush through them. Cost is $25. Bring a friend or family member with you. Let me know if you can come so I can make sure to have enough supplies ready.

Feels good to get something on the calendar for next year and get My Hand in Yours started. Hoping to do a monthly workshop of some sort all year. I want to do my part in helping remove some of the fear around death and make death a topic that we can easily talk about. There is so much baggage around the topic of death and most people are terrified to even think of their own death.

The girls gave me 11 egg today. They like this warmer day although the wind is blowing and it doesn’t feel like it is in the mid 50’s. The clouds are rolling in and we have a good chance of getting some rain overnight and into tomorrow. I’ll take every drop we can get. Would be nice if it would rain all night and all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow night a small group of us are gathering to celebrate the Winter Solstice. I always look forward to our sacred ceremony and sharing time. The world would be a much better place for all if everyone had a safe space to share their inner feelings, thoughts and insecurities. We discover we are all more alike than we are different..

Kathy and I are going to Wichita Friday to go to the Spirit Fair. That will be a fun day out. We will probably eat out for lunch that day. Other than that, I have nothing else on my calendar until after Christmas. I will have a couple of quiet days at home through the Christmas weekend. Hope to get lots more cleaning done and start the New Year with a very clean house. Maybe next year I can keep it cleaner than I did this year.

Not feeling so restless today after discovering what it had to tell me. Still have a pit in my stomach that wants to hang around but I’m pretty sure that is body memory from last year’s chaos. It should go away by year’s end.

This is one of those days where I get overwhelmed by too much empty space on my calendar. I feel like I am wasting my life doing nothing. Cleaning is nice but seems rather pointless to keep repeating myself. And this too shall pass……

Grateful I managed to get a workshop on the calendar for net year, grateful for the 11 eggs the girls gave me today, and grateful to know that this too shall pass.

Sitting in an almost detail cleaned living room. Taking a break and then I will finish up the rest of it. Feels so good to have this room and the dining room clean. Kitchen is up for tomorrow.

Finally figured out what my restlessness is from. My divorce from Jim was official December 29 last year. A year ago we were in the final negotiations of the divorce and a date was being set for him to come clean out the rest of his stuff. My body seems to be remembering that time and how difficult it was for me. I am allowing these feelings to surface and be heard and to leave. Once I figured it out, they started to calm down. Can’t say it is all gone and probably won’t be until after the 29th but they are certainly easier to deal with knowing what they are.

I think another reason for my restlessness is that seven years ago today, my son-in-law Chris died. I will never forget the phone call from Nicole telling me what had happened. We had Christmas the day before and Chris seemed perfectly fine. Little did we know that a day later he would be dead. The days following were some of the most difficult days of our lives for my family. So grateful we were all able to process it, each in our own way. I don’t think the journey through it is ever over, but we all have found ways to integrate it into our beingness. Every time I see a rainbow, I think of Chris and am reminded he is still a part of our lives and is with us always.

When a loved one dies, the surviving family members have to make a decision at some point to continue living. Allowing joy back in after such tremendous grief is a huge challenge. It is one of the hardest decisions a grieving person ever has to make and it can only be made when the time is right. There is no timeline and each has to find their own way of choosing life and joy again. Sometimes it drips in drip by drip until you can step into life and begin to live fully again.

His death is the guiding force behind my interest in becoming a death doula and my desire to help others make their final wishes known to their loved ones. It is so helpful when a tragedy hits, to know what the person wanted as their last wishes. If I can make a difficult time easier for even one family, my mission will be worth it. If you haven’t made your final wishes and decisions and need help doing so, please reach out. I would love to hold your hand during that process and help you find a way that feels right for you to get your final wishes documented.

Christmas is a challenging time for me. I wasn’t a big fan of it before these things happened around Christmas time and these two major life changing events just added to my complicated feelings around Christmas. I am ever so grateful each year when the New Year’s rolls around and the holidays are over. I know I am not the only one with complicated feelings about Christmas. Reach out if you need some extra support and understanding. I hear you loud and clear and totally get it!

It is 50 out today but it is a touch windy and feels colder than that. It is to warm up to 60 by the weekend. We also have a chance for some rain this week. Crossing my fingers and toes that happens. We are still very dry and need every drop that can find us. The good news is it will come as rain and not ice or snow as it is so warm.

Thursday evening I will be celebrating Winter Solstice with a small group of friends. Friday Kathy and I are going to Wichita to attend the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair at the Cotillion. No plans for the weekend. It will be a quiet Christmas Day on the prairie. I’ll probably make a crock pot of soup and eat on it while I watch the Chiefs football game. If anyone is alone that day, come over and join me.

So grateful I figured out what the restlessness was from. I always feel a bit foolish when it takes me so long to figure it out. I know my body holds memories of major events and serves as a reminder to me of them. Not sure why it took me so long to remember that this time but grateful I did when I did. Once I can figure out what my body is trying to tell me, the feelings can be heard, acknowledged and then they leave.

Grateful for the two rooms that are detailed cleaned, grateful to have figured out the message from my restlessness, and grateful for Chris’s life and the love he shared with my family and the way he still is a part of our family.

Woke up at 4:00 this morning after going to bed after midnight. Finally got up and stayed up until 8:00 and then took a nap. Not feeling very rested today.

Went to Emporia this morning. I took the car through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. He doesn’t do appointments so you wait your turn. I got lucky and was the next one in line when I went in. Stopped at Walmart and checked on a prescription that my chart said was ready to pickup but it wasn’t. Got a bag of ice and then drove around and picked up my on-line grocery order. Stopped and got an iced tea from McDonald’s and then came home.

Got everything unloaded and put away. I didn’t need many groceries today so it was a light load day. When Tagen was here Sunday he noticed I didn’t have any snacks around anymore. I happened to have one more bag of Chex Mix in the freezer so dug that out and he munched on that all afternoon and then took it home with him.

Took the chickens some more straw. They had packed down what we had put in there yesterday. I’ll see tomorrow after they pack down this layer if they need more added or not. They gave me a dozen eggs today which is good for them right now. Somedays I am only getting 8.

Deep cleaned the dining room today. Washed all the woodwork, cleaned the light fixtures and did the floors. I am going to try to do one room a day for a bit and see how that works for me. I get overwhelmed thinking about cleaning the whole house and end up doing nothing. I’m working on making up a daily list of things I need to do so I get a bit more structure in my day. I forget what needs to be done unless I write it down or else get so overwhelmed thinking about everything that needs done that I can’t do anything. Maybe this will help.

If I would do one room a day I can get the whole house deep cleaned each month. Some things have to be done more often but once a room gets deep cleaned I know the dirt is only surface deep and doesn’t take long to clean. When I can’t remember when I last deep cleaned a room, it is hard to cheat and only do the surface stuff. My perfectionist tendencies come out and if I can’t do a job completely, it is easy for me to say screw it and not do it at all.

It is almost time to start pulling records out and to get ready to start preparing my income tax information. I like to get them done by February 1 and get them to the account so they have them to get to when they can. They have corporate tax records that have early February and Mach deadlines that they take care of first so they usually can’t get to them until late February or even early March. I would rather they have them and not be able to do them instead of waiting for me to bring them in.

I asked Tagen yesterday if he wanted to bring Ellexia out Wednesday and help me take care of Cody. He said he had school. I texted Jason and Melissa today and sure enough, Cody has school so I won’t get to play with him Wednesday. Maybe one day the following week he will get to come play. That frees up Wednesday for me. Not sure I have anything to do with the extra time but maybe I can get the kitchen deep cleaned that day. The kitchen takes the longest to do as I need to wipe down all the cabinets. I have lots of cabinets so that takes a long time.

The restlessness I have been feeling lately is slowly fading away. Cleaning a room today helped greatly. I have been sitting too much lately and I think my body was trying to tell me to move more. I’ll see if my new schedule helps. Still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the empty space time ahead for me. Hard for me to find balance sometimes and be OK with lots of empty space vs being productive and busy. Too much of either way is not comfortable for me.

Grateful one room is cleaned, grateful my body tells me what it needs, and grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie.

The chickens have fresh linens. Tagen came out for lunch and then at half time of the Chiefs game we went down and cleaned out the chicken coop. It was thick and smelly today but it was a perfect day to get it cleaned out. The girls will have fun rearranging the new straw the next day or two. I’ll need to add some more straw tomorrow once they packed what we put in today.

I fixed Tagen chicken strips and macaroni and cheese for lunch. I think I fixed nine strips and Tagen ate seven of them plus three big helpings of Mac and cheese. He had dessert after we cleaned out the chicken coop.

It has been fun having Tagen out here today. We are enjoying watching the Chiefs game. It looks like the Chiefs might win today so that makes the game more fun to watch.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to pick up some groceries and go to the Chiropractor. Trying to think if there is anything I need to take care of while I am in Emporia. I’m grateful I don’t have any last minute Christmas shopping to take care of.

Hard to remember it is the middle of December with the weather we have today. Feels more like a spring day. I had to take off my jacket while I was helping clean out the chicken coop. It reached the mid 50’s today. Wish the whole winter could be like today.

Still have a bit of restlessness in my background. Unusual that it is lasting this long. It is quieter than it was so maybe it is starting to fade. All I can do is allow it to be what it is and ride it out. Getting out and moving my body helped a bit. Maybe the restlessness is trying to tell me to move my body more.

Grateful the chickens have fresh linens today, grateful for this time with Tagen today, and grateful for this picture perfect mid December day.

I declared today a PJ day and decided to stay in my PJ’s all day. I put on a pair of sweat pants and then pulled on a sweatshirt over my PJ’s so I would stay warm. Hope no one drops by today as I look a little mismatched and not put together today. I don’t think I have even brushed my hair today yet.

The wind was a blowing this morning and it was cold and cloudy out. The sun has come out this afternoon but it is still windy and cold. Good day to stay inside by the fireplace. I do have to venture down to do the chickens later but hopefully they won’t laugh at my outfit for the day.

Tagen is coming out for lunch tomorrow and then is going to clean out the chicken coop for me. It is to be in the mid 50’s tomorrow and be sunny so should be a good day to get that done. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he said chicken strips sounded good. The next text I got from him said and macaroni and cheese of course! He must have read my mind because that was what I had thought I would fix. That kid does like his chicken strips and macaroni and cheese. He is easy to fix lunch for.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I went to bed fairly early and slept for three hours but then was awake for several hours before I went back to bed and slept another two or three hours. I never feel rested when I have nights like that. Grateful I got the second sleep but wish I could have slept in longer this morning.

I need to run to Walmart for a few groceries and to pick up a prescription that is ready but thinking I will wait and go Monday. That way I can avoid the crowd this weekend and go to the Chiropractor while I am in town Monday. I think I have everything I need to fix Tagen lunch tomorrow without going shopping today.

Made a crockpot of White Chicken Chili for lunch today. It was really good. I have too much leftover though. Maybe Tagen will take some home with him tomorrow. It was a good day to fix soup.

We are forecast to have four days in a row towards the end of the week that the temperature day and night is to be over 40. Too bad it is a holiday weekend coming up and the Efis guy probably won’t come. Crossing my fingers this will happen again in January and he can come get that project started.

Still sitting with some restlessness. I think it is from too much empty space and the after Christmas let down. I keep exploring things to put on my calendar to give myself a bit of structure but haven’t settled on the right thing yet. I have some ideas of some classes I would like to offer but haven’t settled on which direction to go yet. When the timing is right, the right thing will appear.

I read through a decluttering page on Facebook today. It is so interesting to me how people deal with clutter and how creative they are avoiding dealing with it. So very grateful I started that journey 20 years ago and continue to work on stopping the incoming and sending things out that no longer serve. My mind doesn’t function well when I have cluttered spaces. The hardest part of that journey was the beginning steps. It sure gets easier the longer one manages it.

I was actually looking for a daily/weekly/monthly routine page. I need to put some structure into my life around housecleaning and know there are pages out there that lay out a whole house over the course of a month and suggest places to clean daily. I like checking things off a list and thought that might be beneficial to me. Haven’t found what I am looking for yet but will keep looking.

Grateful Tagen is coming tomorrow to clean out the chicken coop, grateful for what sleep I did get last night, and grateful for the White Chicken Chili I made for lunch today.

Rainy day on the prairie. We seem to get weather about 24 – 48 hours after my cousin Pam gets it in Santa Fe. She got snow a day or two ago but we got rain. Almost an inch so far and it is still raining. Yay!

It has been a lazy, rainy day for me. I stayed up too late last night watching a show. I slept in but woke up still feeling tired. After a couple hours awake, I gave in and went back to bed and slept for two more hours. Still feeling a bit tired but maybe if I get up and move around in a bit I will get some energy going.

Kathy went to town today and stopped and picked up my prescription for me. So grateful as that saved a trip to town for me. I hate going to town for only one thing and couldn’t think of anything else I needed.

Mark Davis from Davis Drain called me yesterday to let me know the plumbers and ditch diggers had gotten the sewer line fixed at my rental house in Cottonwood Falls. Mark went above and beyond and managed this project for me. I so appreciate him. The ditch digger hit the water line while digging the sewer line out and they had to repair that. Grateful for their service and the way they worked me in to get this job done. I’m sure my renter appreciates being able to flush again. Hopefully they fixed this problem and this fix will last a long time.

Got started on the tea towel embroidery work last night. I have two done and 19 to go. The pattern is cute and it is fun working them up. I hadn’t done any embroidery work for several years. I remember why I like it now.

Still need to go own to do the chickens this afternoon. The rain has let up for a bit so need to get down there before it starts raining again. I have two dozen eggs sold for Monday that I don’t have in the house yet. Lay girls! Lay!

No plans for the weekend other than cleaning house if the mood strikes. It is nice to stay in and avoid all the last minute Christmas shoppers and chaos that is out there this time of year. I will need to go to town Monday or Tuesday to pick up a few groceries and see my Chiropractor. Hopefully I can time the visit to the grocery store so the store isn’t too busy and I can get in and out quickly. Not in the people mood right now.

I think I am going to make some white chicken chili tomorrow. I am hungry for it and it will make enough to feed me for several days. I have some chicken tenders that need used up and that will fit the bill.

My old insurance agent called me today and offered to shop for new house insurance for me. She is a day late and a dollar short. I told her I had already found a different policy. I didn’t tell her I was going to pull the rental houses and car from her. I want to get the windows paid for before I tell her that.

Feeling a bit out of sorts and low energy today. Not sure why I am extra tired today but going to allow it to be what it is and this too shall pass. It felt luxurious to go back to bed around noon time and take a long winter’s nap. Somedays are like this for me. Best to honor it and rest.

I had to check my calendar twice to see if our family Christmas was one week or two weeks ago from tomorrow. It was only one week. It feels like it has been a month or more. I don’t have a good relationship with time these days. It is hard for me to know how long ago something happened. Weird how that happens. Guess when you are retired the calendar and time doesn’t hold much meaning. I do check my calendar daily just to make sure if I have committed to being someplace today. I rarely a remember what day of the week it is unless I have something scheduled. Sign of getting old? Maybe just out of touch?

Grateful for a day of rest, grateful for the rain falling on the prairie, and grateful for a quiet weekend ahead.