Woke up around 5:30 this morning and looked outside. I caught the moon as it had risen just above the breaking of dawn. What a beautiful site. I didn’t get a very good picture of it though. Love living where I do!
Went into Cottonwood Falls to drop off my recyclable stuff and go to the bank. When I drove past the gas station I noticed they weren’t busy so stopped and got my oil changed. I love that they wash my car really good when they are done. They even vacuum it. Small town service at its best.
This afternoon I am taking the cats in for their annual check and shots. I also need to get them and the dogs some tick and flea medication at it is the season for ticks and fleas. I need to get my tires rotated so may stop and get that done while I am in town. Since I will have the cats with me I won’t wait if they are too busy. I need to get some things in town but I will need to make a second trip later today or go tomorrow when I don’t have the cats with me. It is too hot to leave them in the car while I go into a store.
Am still tired today but finding a bit more energy. I think I have decided to not do food with any future retreats. If someone wants to come stay and fix their own food or bring it in I would be open to that. Doing food is just too much work for not much reward. I charge $12.50 per meal per person and by the time I buy the food and fix it I am lucky to break even. I rarely make anything for my labor. I struggle with charging more than I do.
I attempted this last retreat to keep track of the amount of time it took me to do the shopping and then the food preparation and clean up. I spent at least 50 hours just on the food part of the retreat. After subtracting the cost of the food I made less than $180 for my time. That is less than $4 an hour for my time. Not worth it! This retreat had extra people. Usually I don’t even make $4 an hour as I spend the total amount I charge on food.
Sitting with lots of empty space in front of me. I had stepped out of having empty space for over a month. It feels a bit overwhelming to step back into it for some reason. Facing some old thought patterns I though I had dealt with before. Trusting I am revisiting them at a higher level and they will disappear quickly this time. I did recognize them for the lie they are this time rather quickly. I will take that as a sign of progress.
When I have lots of empty space the old thought of what do I want to be when I grow up comes back to me. Breaking my old habit of always being busy to prove my worth has been one of the harder habits I have had to break. Learning to sit with the idea of being myself is enough and there is nothing I have to do to earn my blessings. When I can accept that and drop my resistence my life flows much easier.
Another hot sunny day on the prairie. Sitting in empty space. Allowing myself to refill. All is well on the prairie.