I’m at a lost for words tonight as I process what I saw and heard on the news today. I’m so incredibly sad at the comments I am seeing on Facebook as the blame game begins. My heart is so heavy and broken tonight.
I wish there was a clear enemy I could focus my anger and hurt on. My higher self seems to be telling me that what happened is a reflection of collective energy that needed to be released. I have added to that collective energy when I didn’t hear what someone was trying to tell me, when I spoke ill of someone that I disagreed with, and in many other ways – small and big.
It has been a day of collective failure on many levels. Maybe we had to hit a new bottom before we wake up and start rebuilding something new. I need to spend some time going inward and finding those spots inside I don’t want to see and open myself up to admitting how I have added to this negative energy that is so palpable today. Not an easy task but one very much needed.
What keeps running through my head tonight is where do we go from here? How do we heal as a divided nation? How can we hear those “from the other side” in a new way – a way that they feel heard – a way that encourages dialog and understanding? I have a firm belief that we all hold more in common than our differences but remembering that is challenging.
Tending my chickens today felt different somehow. A simple, country task that brought a moment of joy to me. Feeding the dogs and cats felt grounding. Fixing dinner was something I have done hundreds of times before yet tonight felt different too. Falling back into my rituals of tending animals and fixing dinner felt reassuring and comforting somehow today. When the world chaos seems so huge, I retreat into the simple things of life. I took a long nap to practice some self-care.
I have a shift on the hot line tonight. I wonder how busy we will be after a day like this. I’m blessed to have a safe place to retreat to – I know many do not.
I will continue to sit with the question – where do I go from here. I welcome ideas and comments.
Grateful for my critters that provided a bright spot for me on this very dark day, grateful for a long nap to sooth my soul, and grateful that what is broken can be rebuilt.