At breakfast Tuesday morning the retreat leader ask me for a stool sample after finding out I went five times this morning before breakfast. Found out I have picked up a parasite. He is treating me with oregano oil and silver. He gave me a bottle of water to drink that he had added lime and salt to. It tasted really good. The oregano oil is hot and burns my mouth and lips.
He recommended I be retested once I get home. They have medication I can get if I still need it. He doesn’t recommend I take it here as it interferes with the plant medicine. If I’m not better in two days I will ask him for it and stop the plant medicine. I can’t keep going like this much longer.
As long as I don’t eat or drink anything I slow down going but as soon as I drink anything I go again about every five minutes for at least an hour or so. This is starting to get old.
All I have eaten today is one and one half banana. I am surprising not hungry.
I had the most amazing massage today. She does massage, cranial sacral, and uses sound bowls. She did a light massage and then uses breath work to release tension points. I shook during the massage and she handled it beautifully.
We had group sharing with the Shaman this afternoon so we could process what happened last night. He keeps stressing patience with this process. He explained you have to get the physical stuff out of the way before you can do the heart work. Last night was definitely a physical process for me.
Tonight we get to tell them how much plant medicine we want to take. I am only going to do a taste tonight. My body is wrung out and I can’t handle much more tonight. Last night I had two swallows full. Trusting I won’t have a repeat performance of last night’s shit storm. I am not going to eat or drink anything else before ceremony so my tummy is more settled. I already have permission to stay downstairs if needed so I can be close to the bathroom again.
One problem I had last night is when I puked I would shit my pants. Hard not to when one is as loose as I am right now. Since I haven’t been eating or drinking much I didn’t have much to come up anyways so I was dry heaving from down deep.
Ceremony was much easier this time. I only took a small sip of the plant medicine. I felt it but it was subtle this time. I was able to sit upright all during the ceremony. No puking this time either. I did shake some but not near as much as last night.
I had planned to go downstairs after drinking from the cup but figured out how to use the barf bucket instead. Because I wasn’t so drugged I was able to not spill or miss the bucket. Grateful we had complete darkness.
When the leader took me to the Shaman for my blessing he told me he was impressed I hadn’t gone downstairs. I told him what I had been doing. He laughed and then told the Shaman. The Shaman laughed really hard as did several of the participants.
The Shaman worked on my thyroid area tonight. He had me lay on my back. He held my neck area with his hand while he sang my blessing. Instead of blowing on my crown he blew on my neck. It felt amazing.
It was an easy and beautiful ceremony. I had worked on my relationship to my thyroid before my blessing. That area feels much calmer now.
I had a conversation with my thyroid during ceeemony. It showed me all the symptoms it had been sending me trying to get my attention I ask for forgiveness and really felt forgiven. It feels like the cancer was sent as a reminder I need to listen to my body more I also need to continue to express myself, when I am happy and sad.
I then did some work around self-forgiveness as well as self-love.
Wednesday is a rest day. Nothing on the schedule. Not sure what we are going to do. We are both craving some privacy so may walk to town and walk around. It is a very small town so not sure there will be much to see other than there is a coffee shop. The walk is only ten minutes or so. It might feel good to get out and walk. I’ll see how often I am going to the bathroom and then decide if I can go.
Two down! Two to go! It seems possible to do it now!