Another quiet, cold winter’s day spent at home. Can’t think of anything I got done today. Not too motivated to find something to do. The days seem to pass whether I get something done or not.
I need to go to Emporia tomorrow to deposit a check I received today. I don’t think I need any groceries or have any errands that need taken care of so it will be a quick trip to town.
I’ve almost decided to change my trip plans and book a trip through Gate One instead of doing the hike through Ireland, the rail trip through Scotland and then going to England to finish off the trip. When I priced everything out the cost was adding up to way more than I wanted to spend. I can do a two week trip through Gate One that goes to all three countries for less than half of what I had planned. I am going to look at that trip some more and see if it goes everywhere I want to go. I noticed I can add some days to the beginning or the end of it and could do some day trips to get to all the places I want to go.
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Usually I am a quick decision maker but do want to consider all my options before I make a final decision. It will be cool to cross three countries I have always wanted to go to off my bucket list.
Trying to remember to cut myself some slack. Some days I think I should be farther along in my recovery than I am. It has been three months since Jim left the house and only one month since the divorce was final. Somedays it feels like it has been much longer than that and other days I am surprised that much time has passed. My Therapist told me it will take me at least a full year before I will be back on solid footing and can hold my light and space with ease.
I’ve never been very good with the between space. That space between when something starts and something ends. It usually feels murky and like I can’t get my feet under me. Or if I do get my feet under me, they don’t hold me up solid and are prone to giving out on me when I least expect it. And this too shall pass. I must need practice with the between space. Allowing what is and not rushing through it takes conscious awareness and patience. I think I can, I think I can!
Grateful for quiet days at home, grateful to have the time and empty space to allow what it, and grateful that this too shall pass.