It has been a weird day for me. Something has felt off all day. I took a nap this afternoon in hopes that I would wake up and restart my day. So far, that didn’t work.
Not sure what is up. I feel like I slid backwards in my recovery. I have been ruminating about the past today and can’t seem to stop myself. It is a bit better now then it was this morning but not sure why I am doing this. Maybe it is just one of those days.
I haven’t done a thing again today. May try to force myself to do something this evening. I do feel better when I get something done but getting started takes a lot of effort. Just didn’t have it in my tank today to make myself do anything.
I did manage to write a note and send out to the women that are coming this weekend for our reunion. I found out today I will have two, and possibly three house guests Saturday evening and then two different guests Sunday evening. I worked on a menu as I will be fixing dinner Saturday evening, three meals on Sunday and then breakfast on Monday. I like cooking so that will be fun for me. I made out a grocery list of things to pick up on Friday. I already got most of the stuff earlier this week so won’t take long to get the additional items.
I did warn the guests coming that I seem to get overwhelmed easily these days with group energy and I might have to excuse myself for a bit and hide in my room for a while. Kinda like putting myself in time out. I’m not sure the anxiety happens because I spend so much time alone or if it is just where I am in my recovery journey. It may not happen but thought I would give them a heads up in case. That will make it easier for myself to step out for a bit if needed.
A friend sent me a message today. I almost wrote something that I didn’t really mean in my answer and caught myself and didn’t write it. I will count that as progress in my codependency healing journey. Maybe I did get something done today!
The weather was mixed today. It warmed up but was windy and I can tell there is a weather change coming soon. It has been cloudy this afternoon and the temperature is starting to drop a bit. It is to be turn cold Thursday and Friday but warm up again this weekend. I don’t think we are to get any snow but that may change. We sure could use the moisture.
Jason called to chat with me this morning. It was good to have someone to talk to for a bit. He calls every other week or so just to chat. I so appreciate him calling and letting me know what is happening in his neck of the woods.
A friend that had a bilateral mastectomy last week called and we chatted for a bit last night. She sounded much better than I thought she would be. She is up walking around, stretching lightly and doing what she needs to do to recover quickly. She is even doing some work at home for her job already. It is amazing what the human body can do to help itself. I was grateful she called and let me know how she is doing.
Thursday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. A friend is going to ride along with me as she needs something from Topeka. It will be fun to have a day out with a friend. I have a couple of stops to make in Topeka besides the doctor appointment and she has a stop we will make. We will enjoy lunch together and running our errands. The day will be a lot more fun having a friend ride along.
It will be good for me to get out of the house all day Thursday. I don’t like to get out just to get out and so I stay home most of the time. I make a good hermit these days.
I’m getting excited thinking about my sister coming back home to live. She is easy to live with and good company. We eat on the same food plan (when we stick to eating on plan) and are on a similar healing journey. She made lots of friends when she lived with me several years ago. She likes to get out more than I do so maybe she will help me get out more.
Chalking today up to one of those days. If you don’t have a hard day once in a while you begin to take the easy days for granted. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better one.
Grateful I caught myself before I sent a message I didn’t mean, grateful the reunion is soon, and grateful my friend is going to Topeka with me.