Tuesday is the day that we count on to know what day of the week it is. We take the trash down on Tuesday. It is our biggest outing of the week! Pathetic life that we have.
Sunday was one of the hardest days I have had in a long time. I fell hard into the muck pond and it took me until last night to fully recover from it. When I get emotionally overwhelmed I have no words – hard to believe I know but that is what I experience. I have to sit with my emotions and work them through my body and then process what happened before I can find words. All is well now. Another life lesson learned for me on this journey we call living and life.
I keep getting lessons on preferences vs truth these days. In my opinion we hold very few truths. If you live in the Northern hemisphere the sun rises from the east, northeast, or southeast and sets in the west, northwest or southwest. To me that is a truth. Most things we deal with in life are preferences – what religion if any you practice is a preference. How you load the dishwasher is a preference. Who you vote for is a preference. Wear a mask or not – preference. Take the vaccine or not is a preference. Abortion is a preference. Capital punishment is a preference. It would be a simpler life if those things were truths but they are not.
When our preferences become so strong they feel like truth is when conflict can arise. We hold on hard to our preferences sometimes and it is hard to let go and see the other side. It is a bit ironic how many preferences we hold without giving much thought to them. I just assume others think like I do and that is not a truth by any stretch of the imagination.
My mentor thought a class where he taught us to examine our beliefs and habit patterns. He taught that most of us hold a very limited range of belief (preference). When we allow ourselves to open and start to widen our range of beliefs and preferences we enrich our lives greatly. It allows a wider range of emotion to be in play as well as a wider choice of action. It takes some concentrated energy though to allow yourself to open as we have to admit we held a limited pattern of belief.
I am working hard to keep my heart and ranges open these days – to both sides of the coin of preference. I fail at it many times though.
I realized last time I went to town that the reason I get so wiped out when I go to town is I hold myself wide open out here on the prairie. If I forget to close that down a bit I get overwhelmed quickly when I am around other people and my system gets overloaded. Next time I go to town I will play around with the energy veil around me and see if I can close it up a bit and see if that makes a difference.
Had a much needed conversation with a dear friend this morning. I had sent her a text to see how she was doing and she called me. Talk about divine timing! I so needed that today.
Another member of my family is being tested for COVID. Damn!
Got a request from my grandson for more peanut butter balls. Next time I go to town I will get the stuff to make another batch and get some made for him. They are not my favorite things to make but when a grandson asks how do I say No?
I mailed the last of my Christmas boxes Monday. I delivered the boxes to Jason and Michelle’s house so Christmas preparation is done. The last of Jim’s gifts came in so I am officially ready for Christmas.
Thinking I need to order some more yarn and do another slow knitting project. I have a blanket pattern I really like and it takes what feels like a long time to make. If I can find the pattern I will get the yarn for it ordered so I have something to work on. With all my Christmas shopping, baking and wrapping done I need a new project to work on.
I have started Project Clean This House. I have three rooms done. Not sure I want to know how many more I have to do but if I get at least one done per day I will have it clean by New Year’s I think. Feels good to have that project started.
It is nice to have my dining room back. I had three of the tables full of Christmas boxes, wrapping paper, etc. After a while clutter like that drives me to drink. Now I need to get my corner where my chair is cleaned up. I still have knitting needles, yarn, etc. scattered around it and it needs to be cleaned up.
The chickens are giving me 5 – 6 eggs a day right now. The Rhode Island Reds are starting to lay. I’m still getting lots of double yolk eggs which is always fun. The Americanas won’t start laying for another two weeks or so.
It is cold and cloudy on the prairie today. We might get a dusting of snow sometime today. We sure need the precipitation and will take it however we can get it.
Jim is taking his car to get the VIN inspection at the Sheriff’s office this afternoon and then will go get tags tomorrow. When he comes back from Stillwater next week he will bring his other car and go through the process again. Slowly he is getting moved to KS.
It is good to be out of the muck pond yet again. I hadn’t spent that much time in it for a long time. I’m grateful for it’s lessons once I get out but I have a WTF moment when I am in the midst of it.
Grateful to be on the other side of the muck pond today, grateful for my mentor and the knowledge he has given me, and grateful to be on this journey of life and learning.