I am sitting out in the driveway looking at the full moon. I had set my alarm so I could walk to the top of the hill to watch it rise. I let Jim talk me into going a different direction and we ended up missing the rise of the moon. We finally saw it after it had been up for 15 minutes or so. Damn!
I am homesick for my prairie right now. I have lost contact with the moon and miss the sunsets. Both ground me in ways that I am missing deeply right now.
While Jim slept in this morning I went out and started mowing the back yard. Jim has a very deep but narrow back yard. I mowed for about an hour than came in and took a break. When I went back out I flooded the mower and couldn’t get it started. After Jim got up he went out and of course the mower started right away. I finally got the job finished late this afternoon. Jim did mention that I mowed it differently than he did. He is a creature of habit and change is hard for him. I told him I would mow the way I want or he could mow it. Didn’t matter to me.
Jim went to the grocery store with a long list this afternoon. He was like a duck out of water in the material section and ended up not getting the material I needed to make face masks. I may go tomorrow and see what I can find. It might be simpler to buy a flat full sized bed sheet. I read that the 600 count sheets are good filters. I could get lots of face masks out of a full size flat sheet.
We grilled brats for dinner tonight. They aren’t my favorite but Jim likes them. Tomorrow I will fix something I like better.
My foot surgeon called me this afternoon. I’m glad I didn’t drive two hours to go to the appointment as the call only took three minutes and there is nothing he can do to help me right now. It is a nerve problem that is going to take lots of time to resolve. He did say he could give me steroids but with the Coronavirus he is hesitant to do so as those on steroids are having a more difficult recovery. Since I have noticed a bit of improvement he thought they were counter indicated anyways. I am to call him if it gets worse. He thinks it will continue to improve but will take several months. Maybe by the time the shelter in place orders are lifted my foot will be better.
The moon has a moon-bow around it tonight. It is stunning!
It reached 88 degrees here today and is to be that warm again tomorrow. The spring flowers are in full bloom. I picked some lilac today – one of my favorites. The iris are ready to pop open and there is one red rose blooming. I love this time of year but I don’t like the almost 90 degree temperatures.
Thinking I need to have a good cry tonight. The moon pulls out emotion from deep inside me and I am feeling that tonight. A lot of what I am feeling is not even my stuff. It is the collective pain of grief that the world seems to be emitting these days. The moon is reminding me to let go and release it to her.
I can’t fill myself with light and love if I continue to hold on to grief and pain. Thanks moon – I needed that reminder tonight.
Grateful for the beauty of the full moon, grateful the back yard is mowed, and grateful for the light and love within.