At last a quiet day at home. I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept waking up. I slept in this morning so I was late taking my pills.
Had another little “spell” this morning. Not sure what to call them. They started happening the last day I was in the hospital and I have had one a day since, around noon each day. I feel funny, my head feels heavy and my knees are weak and I feel shaky. Takes about an hour to totally clear. Everyday before today my blood pressure had spiked when I checked it during the spell but today it was low.
The APRN had assured Kathy when I had my first one in the hospital that this was a normal course of recovery and my body is adjusting to the new medication. Glad it only lasts an hour and I feel almost OK the rest of the time. Still not back to 100% but sure feeling better than I did the weeks leading up to my thyroid storm episode.
Some dear friends stopped by today to bring me a gift. I have been blown away by the way people show me their love lately. My heart is certainly full of love and gratitude.
I need to finish cleaning a bedroom in the basement. That is the project I was working on last weekend when my body said stop. I may rest the rest of the day and finish it up tomorrow or I might find some energy to get it done yet today.
Still haven’t decided if I am going back east or not. I need these spells to stop before I would feel comfortable driving 2,000 miles back by myself. Kathy and I are planning on driving out together but I am driving home alone. I have also been having some loose stools and I don’t think I want to be on a highway when the urge hits. I still have a week before we are planning on heading east. I don’t have to decide until then I guess. I will see my family doctor this week and maybe he can help me decide if it is safe to travel. If I had to decide today I would not go. Trusting this will clear up and I will be able to go. Kathy will fly to CT next week if I can’t drive out with her.
Thankfully my hosts in Maine and my house sitter are flexible and understand my situation. I’ll let them know as soon as I know what I am doing.
Made some broccoli cheese soup this morning. I put too much cheese in it and it got too thick. Tasted good though. I’ll have to thin it down when I eat a bowl of left overs tomorrow.
Sitting and pondering the meaning of why this happened. I’m sure there are many lessons for me in all of this on many different levels. It has been interesting to observe how others around me have reacted. As always some step up and go above and beyond and others just can’t seem to do things that feel helpful. So grateful most have been in the camp of above and beyond helpful. Grateful Kathy was here and is a nurse and has been by my side throughout this.
The thyroid is in the throat area and when I looked up the energetic meaning of a thyroid issue it has to do with the inability to speak ones truth. There certainly was a time in my life when I didn’t have a voice and couldn’t use words to ask for help or to share with others where I am at. That has been slowing changing over the last couple of years. I still struggle at times to find words to express myself in certain situations. I certainly do better than I used to.
My mentor taught me I have a habitual reaction to 95% of what happens in my life. Not speaking my truth is my habitual reaction. I adopted that reaction when I was a child to make myself feel safe. If you put speaking your truth on a horizontal line like a football field, as a child I locked myself in on the 10 yard line. On my end of the range is rarely speaking up for oneself. The other end of the range is always doing so. As I have become more conscious of my behavior I have opened that range up for myself. I doubt I have moved past the 25 yard line but it feels like I have stretched it further as I am out of my comfort box. This thyroid issue reminds me I need to open my range even further and continue to step out of my comfort box.
Good news is I am still learning about myself. As long as that continues I have a reason to still be here. Once you have learned all your lessons and stop growing there is little reason to stay.
All is well on the beautiful prairie today!