I watched my boundary class last night. It was one of the best ones yet. The main point of it was the equation “Your responsibility is equal to your power”. Meaning, it you have the power to change a situation, then you are responsible to do so. If you have no power to change it, then you have no responsibility.
If someone asks for your help, you can make a choice to help or not. Their issue/situation remains their responsibility as they have the power in the situation. If you agree to help and that situation becomes intolerable for you, then you can make a different choice and back out. They are the only ones that have the power to change the situation.
When someone won’t accept responsibility for their own behavior and healing, I need to shift my relationship with them. My love for them will not heal someone else’s wounds and is not my responsibility.
My own trauma that I have suffered through is not my fault. However, it is now my responsibility to heal it as I am the only one with the power to do so. Therapy, friends, etc. can offer advice and support, but ultimately the power to change myself lies only within myself.
As an overly responsible person, I now see where I have assumed responsibility for things I had no power to change. It ended in frustration for both the person I was attempting to help and with myself. Once you know better you can do better!
This is good stuff to learn. Sure wished I had learned it years ago. I would have saved myself and others much pain. As I was watching the class last night, I felt things leave me. Things I had been carrying responsibilities for that I had no power to change. Things that had weighed me down and I now know I no longer need to carry.
I’m grateful I am taking this class and learning new things about boundaries. If you don’t know where you begin and end, you can get taken advantage of and spend lots of time in frustration. Letting go of other’s things frees me up to do more internal work on myself.
I still have a couple more classes to watch. Wonder what else new things I will learn? Getting more and more tempted to take the whole class.
It is another beautiful day on the prairie. Low 80’s today and light wind. It is to drop to the lower 70’s on Tuesday and the upper 40’s by Saturday. We have a chance for rain this week. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will rain for several days.
I’m watching the Chiefs game. At halftime I will need to go down and do the chicken chores. I got a fairy egg yesterday – hadn’t seen one of those for a long time. They always make me smile when I get one. I have lots of eggs if anyone needs some. I’m coming to Emporia tomorrow and would be happy to bring some in. I’ll be at Walmart at 11:00 if you want to meet me and get some. They are $3 a dozen.
Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia by 10:45 to get my flu shot. I checked and don’t need any groceries. I have to go to Topeka Friday so if I need anything by then, I will get it then.
Kathy and I are working on getting our materials ready for our booth at the health fair November 4. We are both getting excited about the possibilities that this might open up for each of us. Together, we can cover most anything that comes up surrounding death and the time before it happens.
I feel like I am becoming who I was intended to be. I love learning new things and knowing that they are changing how I will choose to behave in the future. Feeling freer and more open then I have for a long time.
Grateful for the boundary class I am taking, grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful I am never too old to learn and change.