Five years ago today I arrived in Santiago, Spain after walking the 500 mile Camino. It was a magical day after a grand adventure. I am so grateful for all the lessons I learned while walking and the lessons that I continue to reap from the walk.
I have felt pretty crummy all day today. Last night before I went to bed I had blood in my urine. This morning my urine was stinky and cloudy but not bloody. I looked up the side effects of the antibiotic I am on and discovered UTI and stinky urine is one of them. It also listed nausea and diarrhea as well as headache and swollen hands among others. I have had all of the above this round.
The article I was reading said to call your doctor immediately if you have any of these symptoms. I called the rent a nurse and she called the doctor on call. They called in orders to the hospital in Emporia for a UA and culture. I drove into Emporia and took care of that. If my temperature goes above 100 I am to go to the ER. I will call my doctor in the morning and get an appointment to see him tomorrow if possible.
I am so tired of this. It seems like I am caught in an endless round that has no end. The worse part is I’m not sure the antibiotic is doing any good. I don’t see and end to this mess yet.
Needless to say I haven’t gotten any painting or anything else done today. My energy level is very low today and I just feel crummy. I took a short nap and may go back and take another one.
I did help Jim with a computer issue he was having and figured out what the main problem was but didn’t know how to fix it. He called the Geek Squad and they helped him. It is so frustrating when programs get updated and change and you don’t know how to work it.
I am fixing Jim tacos for dinner. We had some leftover taco meat from the other day that needs to get used up and it will be something simple to fix. Bless his heart for eating leftovers without complaining.
The wind has been in a big hurry again today. It is averaging 30 MPH with gusts well over that. The sound of the wind can drive me over the edge sometimes. It will be nice this evening when the wind calms down some.
I am developing a great deal of respect for those that suffer with chronic illness. I have been struggling since the end of July and am starting to get depressed. It is beginning to mess with my head. On one hand I know someday soon this will all get resolved but on the other hand it is starting to feel like it won’t ever get resolved. I’m not sure how those that have lifelong illnesses deal. They have earned my respect.
I got on the hot line last night and handled four calls. I didn’t feel like I was doing a very good job so got off. They were really busy but I didn’t want to get a critical call and mess it up. The ones I had were pretty routine although one of them was hard. The texter disengaged before we got very far into the call. I never know why they do that and try not to take it personally.
I print a copy of my blog entries and last night took the time to get caught up doing that. I lost two years of my blog a while back when WordPress updated and my data didn’t transfer successfully. I don’t want to lose years worth of writing again so now I print a paper copy. I need to get a tub and take the printed copies down to my record storage area in the barn.
Digging deep inside and finding some resolve and strength to keep going on. Feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable today and observing how it clouds my judgement and perspective.
Grateful for the Camino and the life lessons it gives me, grateful for the information I can easily access via the computer these days, and grateful that this too shall pass – someday – somehow – soon!
This is how I survive my chronic disease.
One day, one step, one nap at a time. When energy returns, utilize it. Until then, savor the rest cycle. Or just be miserable for what cannot be managed. But savoring is better.