Woke up late this morning and checked my phone. I had about eight missed phone calls and lots of texts. Found out my brother Max (Gene) had died this morning. A dear friend of his had tried many ways to get hold of me. She had gotten creative and figured out Jason’s phone number and had called him. She also called Kathy but she didn’t hear her phone and she doesn’t take out of state calls unless she knows the caller.
Evidently Gene had been in the hospital since April 8. He first went in with Covid. He has COPD so it had hit him hard. He actually recovered from Covid but while in the hospital he developed a bowel obstruction and had surgery April 27. He did well during surgery but started struggling afterwards. He didn’t want his friend to contact me as he knew Kathy was doing her Honor Flight and he didn’t want to interfere with her trip.
His dear friend that let us know what was going on had known Gene for over 35 years. She had lost her husband a little over a year ago in the same hospital. I felt bad that I was hard to reach and made her morning harder than it needed to be.
Gene had requested that no services be held and he had arranged for direct cremation. His friend took care of all of that for us. I spent some time this afternoon writing and calling family to let them know the sad news.
Kathy and I will be driving out to MA sometime later this week. We will find out tomorrow how much time we have to clean out his apartment, etc. He didn’t have a will that we know about so far so will probably have to go through probate to take care of things. We will see about all that once we get there.
I can’t say I am surprised that Gene passed. He had been in declining health for some time. The last time I saw him a couple years ago he was frail and struggling a bit then. I am so grateful for his dear friend that took care of him through all of this.
Tomorrow I will need to make a few phone calls and start some things in motion. I have something I may have to do Tuesday before we can take off. Once I know how long we have to clean out his apartment I will know how urgently we have to get out there. Hoping we have till the end of the month as he has paid May rent but sometimes that doesn’t mean what I think it means.
I will need to find a place to board the dogs and Kathy is going to find someone to take care of the cats once we know when we are leaving. We aren’t sure how long things will take once we get to MA so will have to leave the return date open. I’m grateful my calendar is rather empty for the month of May. I do have a doctor’s appointment in Topeka Thursday but it is a routine appointment and I can change the date if we want to leave before then. We decided we are driving in case we want to bring home some stuff. Not sure what we will find when we get there and not sure there will be anything to bring home but want the option in case.
Life and plans can change quickly. Grateful my schedule is free and Kathy is free to join me for a trip back east. Kathy will get a chance to visit her family and to check on a friend of hers that is sick. We will find some ways to find some joy on this trip.
I need to start making a packing list so when I know we are leaving I can get ready to go quickly. I will know tomorrow about when we are leaving. I never pack too heavy and we will have access to washers and dryers so no need to pack lots of clothes. Not sure what else I might need.
Memories from the past have been going through my head all day. I’m sure more will surface as I remember Gene. Not sure the news has fully soaked in yet. It will take some time.
Haven’t done much else today. I am still in my pajamas and decided it was too late to get dressed. I jumped right into phone calls when I got up this morning and the day kinda got away from me. I will take care of some things tomorrow and will probably go to Emporia to get some things for the trip so I will get dressed then.
Funny how grateful I am for an empty calendar this month. Sometimes having empty space has a bigger meaning than it appears at the time. It will make it easy to get away for a couple of weeks if needed.
Today gave me another reminder about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. One never knows when it will be the last time you see someone or hear from them. I treasure each and every one of my friends and family.
Grateful for the memories of Gene, grateful for his dear friend, and grateful for my family and friends.
The first of our generation to leave. I am heart broken on this. Loved Gene with all my heart. The last 10 years our contacts have been barely there. Thats why I always asked about him when you guys would go out there. My heart goes out to all of you. Have a safe trip Please.