As I watched church service this morning on Facebook live I know what day of the week it is without looking. I did have to look at what day of the month it is though. Jim and I have been married one month today!
I was to go to KC for a workshop the first weekend in May. I sent a letter to the instructor today to let him know I wasn’t going to come. Spending three nights in a hotel and eating out for three days doesn’t feel good to me right now. I hated to cancel but know it was the right thing for me to do. If I lived in KC I would have gone as I could have gone home for lunch and to spend the night. I feel a bit relieved that I made the decision I did and I can go on from here.
I did realize as I was writing this morning that what I have been looking for in the news I keep reading was someone to tell me when it will be safe to move to KS. I have finally come to the understanding that no one can with 100% certainty predict what is going to happen anywhere in the world with this virus. Many are proclaiming themselves as experts but they can only give us an educated guess. I need to let go of the need to know when and stay present with what is – I am safe in Stillwater with the man I love. What more could I want?
This afternoon I painted six side paneling pieces for Jim’s garage. The pieces are 8 x 4 I think. Jim had to go get me some more paint. It is good to have them painted. He was going to put them up today but got side tracked on his gray water system project instead. So many projects he needs to do. I can only help so much.
I have a bunch more face masks cut out and the first seam sewed. Waiting for the ribbon to show up so I can finish them. They will only take about ten minutes each to finish now. I still have some more material so will work on getting even more cut out and ready to go. Might as well use up what I have and then I will decide if I want to order more sheets and receiving blankets. I will need to find a home for the ones I am making now before I make more. Thinking about taking them to my Endocrinologist appointment on May 4 and see if their office can use them.
Making split pea soup with ham for dinner in the instant pot. We haven’t had it for a bit. It is one of Jim’s favorites – I like it but not one of my favorites. It will be ready in about 20 minutes. The house smells good as it is cooking now.
I hope after dinner we can get out and take a walk. We forgot to do so yesterday and we had planned on taking one this afternoon and both of us got busy and forgot about it. We need to start increasing the distance we are walking each day as we have only been walking about one mile. It is a beautiful day here in Stillwater and the temperature is in the low 70’s. Perfect walking weather! Tomorrow is to be sunny all day with the high in the mid 70’s. We are to get rain on Wednesday. I will need to find another project to do to help Jim. Not sure what he will ask me to do next.
I FaceTime with Ellexia earlier today. I hadn’t heard from her for a bit. She is reporting that she is bored but has been playing outside a lot. She figured out how to play a video game and connect with her friends using her microphone. That helps she tells me. Her dad is very wisely not taking her to Walmart with him when he goes shopping. It is hard for her to understand why she has to stay home all the time. I get that! It is hard for adults – let alone children.
I realized last night that I am finally figuring out when I am letting in too much collective energy and have figured out how to turn it off. When I get tired and let down my guard is when it tends to happen for me now. I’m grateful I figured out what was happening and when so I can more quickly release it and not take so much in. It was dragging me down and knocking me off my feet. Hard to get back up when that happens.
I still spend part of my time crying – although not everyday like I was. I think at times I cry out of gratitude for what I have and other times out of compassion for all the suffering people are feeling from the pain of the virus and those that have lost their jobs and are scared. It is overwhelming to me at times. Wish there was more I could do to be of service to others.
Tomorrow I am to start my Crisis Text Line training. Not sure how that will look like and what they will send me to get me started. Guess I will find out tomorrow. They recommended I allow three hours a day for studying. Jim sleeps in most mornings and I usually have all morning to myself so will use that time to study. Looking forward to seeing this process unfold.
Grateful this painting job is done, grateful I was able to say no to attending the workshop in May, and grateful I figured out how to turn off my receivers inside to the collective energy so I don’t get so overwhelmed.