To my surprise and delight the surgeon’s office called me yesterday afternoon and found an appointment time for me this Friday. His office is in Topeka and I am going to be in Topeka with Craig Friday taking Craig to a medical procedure. Now that is how referrals are supposed to work.
I went into Prairie Past Times for their art afternoon yesterday. About eight of us sat and visited and worked on individual art projects. It was a delightful way to pass a rainy afternoon. I took some knitting and started a baby blanket. I have given all the ones I had made earlier this year away. I like to have a spare one in case I need a baby gift and don’t have time to make one.
Got the dining room floor hand mopped and the tables and chairs cleaned yesterday. I have four tables and sixteen chairs so that part takes a bit of time. I hate moving all of them out of the dining room and then having to move them all back in there again. Always glad to get that room done.
My rooster, Mr. America, has tried to come after me the last two days. I have had my muck boots on and am thinking he doesn’t like me wearing them. I wacked him on his head with the stick I have in the pen this morning. He pounded his feet and glared at me afterwards but left me alone. Mr. America, I would not mess with me right now. I am not in the mood for your showboating.
Having trouble getting going today. I didn’t sleep very well and feel really tired today. As my thyroid lowers I am getting a taste of the sluggishness that brings with it. I was hoping it would bring sleep to me but not sure it will. I’ll see how this plays out over the next month or so. My blood pressure was a bit high this morning. I have been working hard the last couple of days so maybe my body is telling me to take a rest day today. My ass is sore from sliding on the floor as I have been hand scrubbing my floors. I really wanted to get the rest of the floors done today. Maybe I can dig deep and find some energy to do so.
I just remembered to call for a haircut appointment and he can cut my hair today at 12:30. Maybe that will make me feel better today. I need to get some groceries anyways so this will make me go to town to do that too. Need to take a shower and get dressed so I can go to town.
It is a cloudy cool day on the prairie today. I have over an inch of rain in my gauge. I had to dig out a sweater this morning. I haven’t been cold for a long time. I closed all the windows and thought about turning the fireplace on. I felt cold down to my bones. What a switch this is for me as the last couple of months I have been running very hot even when others were cold.
I read a quote the other day that said you see what you expect to see in life. Man is that playing out in the world today. I do tend to read something or see something and quickly decide if I agree or not and if that fits with the way I see things. When I have the patience and awareness I read opposing views to see if I can see things from a different perspective. Sometimes I can but not always.
I have been reading a lot lately about white privilege and watching how that plays out in the world. The educational site I have been reading tells me to sit with the uncomfortableness of the feelings I feel when I recognize times when I used my white privilege card in the past and now can see how that influenced how I saw the world. It is hard to sit with those feelings and not want to do something. At some point I will learn how to use those feelings to propel me towards being a socialist activist and help create change in this world. But first I have to learn to sit with these feelings and allow them to teach me what I need to learn. I can’t create change in others – I can only become the change I want to see in the world by doing my own inner work.
I struggle at times to keep my mouth shut and not point the finger at others when I see them using their own white privilege card. I keep reminding myself I still use mine too. I need to keep discovering the ways I am using my card. Hard inner work but much-needed inner work. It brings up such sorrow in my soul. Hard to sit with that.
Sun is in the forecast for the afternoon. I welcome it back. All is well on the cool and cloudy prairie today.