Hard to believe it is September already. This summer went by fast. Forecast shows rainy days ahead all week. I welcome every drop of rain that comes my way.
I went into Prairie Past Times last night for Emma Chase Music night. It was songwriters night so all the performers did their own original music. My two favorite musicians were there and performed. I tried to keep drool off my face when one of them sang. He is so good – and cute!
The guest that has been here the last two weeks checked out this morning. She said she felt like she was moving out of her home. She thanked me for making her feel like family. She is headed to OK to spend four weeks at another Airbnb. She was a delightful guest – one that I will miss.
I have two more guests checking in later this afternoon. I have the bedroom and bathroom cleaned and am washing sheets and towels. Hopefully everything will be dry and put away before the next guests arrive.
Alarm bells are ringing in my head with my Match guy from CO. Not big things but enough that I am hearing them ring. Not sure on-line dating is for me. How ever do you know if they are the real thing or not? I don’t think I will even attempt to start a conversation with someone so far away again. I need to see them face-to-face so I know if they are for real and who they are saying they are. I’ll let this play out for a bit longer and see what happens but I have my guard up and my blinders off.
Maybe this whole exercise with on-line dating was to give me a chance to see if I am really ready for a new relationship. I think I am but then I find myself pulling back and thinking maybe not. Getting in a conversation with someone so far away was “safe” in many ways as the chances of us having much face-to-face time is limited. It has been good practice!
I keep reminding myself my job is to take baby steps and not to worry about how a relationship will come to me. I do have to show up and take action to make it happen though.
Have another quiet week next week. Thursday I am going to Topeka to a KCC hearing on fracking. Several friends of mine have been very active in uncovering some misdoings by the KCC and wanted a large crowd in attendance when a ruling is announced Thursday afternoon. I was free that day so decided to ride along with them. If nothing else I will get to spend the day with some friends and enjoy some good conversation. Not sure I see myself as a political activist but all sorts of possibilities are coming into my life right now.
May try to get to KC Tuesday to do some shopping. Later in the week I may be working on the Newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs if the printer gets it completed. I am volunteering at an event at Pioneer Bluffs most of Saturday. If I don’t make it to KC Tuesday I have most of the next week free too. Nice to have lots of empty space on my calendar right now.
When I went to Walmart yesterday I found some Levi jeans for $20 a pair. I tried them on and a size 2 fit – they are tight but wearable. I still don’t see myself as that small. I think companies must be making clothes bigger than they used to. I have never been a size 2 before. What size do skinny girls wear and where do they find them?
Learned something about myself last night. I found another habit pattern that I need to give some attention to so I can break the range open on it. I tend to isolate myself when I am feeling down and that shuts other people out. Not sure that is always the best choice for me to act that way. Now that I am more aware I am doing that I am now in a position to make a choice how I react and not allow my unconscious self run that pattern. Love when I break another range open.
Life is a journey of self-discovery. I now enjoy finding hidden patterns I run. Once I uncover them my work is done. I won’t keep running them unconsciously once I am aware of them. I give them a little attention and when that situation repeats I then get to make a choice how to react. Sometimes reacting in the old habitual way is the best choice – but it only works when it is a choice and not a blind habit.
Grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself through gentle life lessons, grateful for the guests that come to stay and the friendships that develop as a bonus, and grateful for my mentors that have taught me how to manage my life from a higher vibration and with a wider range of choices to play with.