It ha been a very quiet day on the prairie. I haven’t said a word to anyone today. The wind has been in a big hurry all day. My weather station recorded a 48.5 MPH wind gust today. The wind usually slows down at sunset but not so yet today. It reached the low 50’s today but with the wind it didn’t feel that warm.
The sound of the wind is wearing me out this evening. Some days I find it relaxing to hear the wind and other days it gets on my last nerve. I hate to expend my energy in resistance to the wind and that is a loosing case.
I didn’t do anything today. I have been binge watching Madam Secretary. I did get my kitchen cleaned up. Last night I went to bed without cleaning my kitchen sink. That is unusual for me. It felt good to get the dishwasher unloaded and the kitchen sink cleaned. Not sure why that is a thing for me but it bothers me when the sink is full of dirty dishes.
Woke up in a bit of a funk this morning but was able to pull myself out of it. Not sure why is showed up but thinking it was some remnants of yesterday. This afternoon I felt more like myself and not so befuddled. It is interesting to watch the triggers show up and how they manifest. This healing journey is not for the faint of heart.
Still working on my grocery list for the weekend. I remembered I used the last of my eggs and need to get some more. Still not used to buying and using grocery store eggs. They just aren’t the same as the ones I picked up fresh from the chicken coop.
Finding myself drifting a bit. I don’t have much to do and struggle to make myself do what little I need to do somedays. It doesn’t feel like depression so thinking it is a stage in my recovery. Lots of empty space right now and hard for me to fully step in to it. I know I have had a habit in the past of not slowing down enough and allowing what is. This in-between stage is testing me. It feels important that I allow myself this empty space and I not rush through it irregardless of how uncomfortable it makes me. I’m not sure what the outcome of all of this will be but am trusting there will be a rich lesson in all of this for me.
Grateful the kitchen sink is clean tonight, grateful the wind is blowing in some warm weather, and grateful for my recovery and growth.