Starry night on the prairie

It was almost 70 degrees in KS today. It makes me a bit nervous when we have weather outside the norms by lots. I did enjoy the day though.

Worked on taxes today. I am about 70% done. I want to get them to the accountant yet this week. I’ll have some free time tomorrow and Tuesday afternoons and hope to get them done then.

I listened to a world wide meditation for peace today. It originated in Germany and had participants from over 30 countries. Deva Premal and Miten sang during it. It gives me hope to know things like this are happening. I believe with all my heart the energy that was generated from this event today can help change the world.

I have been binge watching The Resident this afternoon. Still have most of season five to go. It makes me cry and I needed that today. I had some emotion that needed to be released and those shows help me do it today.

Learned about a rally at the state capitol on Wednesday. I plan on going and have room in my car for four more if anyone wants to ride along. It is time for our voices and presence to be seen and heard.

Tomorrow I have to be at my doctor’s appointment in Topeka at 10:30. I will leave home at 9:00. I will stop and have lunch afterwards and run an errand and then I will stop in Emporia for exercise on the way home. I’m grateful my exercise program will be done next week when I complete the final two days of testing.

The exercise program helped me get better balance but it did not give me what I had hoped it would. Now I need to figure out how to get what I want. The exercise program discouraged us from exercising outside of what the program called for.

I found myself unregulated today. I finally managed to get regulated but it took some time. I spent too much time reading the news this morning and didn’t shut it down when I got overwhelmed. It is so easy right now to get pulled into the muck. When I get pulled in to the muck pond my brain functions differently and I lose the ability to think rationally. It can be hard to climb back out unless one knows what is happening. No wonder so many people are angry and overwhelmed.

Grateful for this beautiful taste of spring, grateful for the meditation today, and grateful for the upcoming rally at the Capital on Wednesday.

I didn’t sleep much last night. Must have slept too much the night before. I have felt like I have had a hangover all day. Wish I had the fun of getting drunk if I am going to feel this way. May need to take a short nap to get me through the rest of the day.

I went to town early afternoon and met Jason at Radius for lunch. It is a treat to get to have lunch with one of my kids. He even treated me to lunch!

Went to Walmart and picked up some groceries. There was a man there that I ran into three times. I finally stopped him and apologized for being in his way all the time. He just smiled and went on. I had to pay $6.88 for 18 eggs today. I sure miss my chickens! I might have gotten rich from them about now. Ha!

Got everything carried in and most of it put away. I am wiped out for the day. Need to fold two loads of laundry but other than that I don’t think I will get anything else done today. Guess I will declare this a rest day and give myself permission to do nothing as nothing is going to get done regardless.

Tomorrow I plan on finishing up my taxes so I can take them to the accountant next week. I have to go to Topeka Monday for a doctor’s appointment and then I have exercise in Emporia at 2:00. I can drop them off while I am in town.

Tuesday and Thursday I am doing taxes at the Emporia Senior Center in the mornings. It will be fun to actually get started doing taxes. I need to remember to take some reams of paper with me. I have way too much extra paper and volunteered to donate it to the cause. It will be good to free up some shelf space.

I keep reading about all the federal workers that are being fired and records that are being accessed by unauthorized people. It all feels very remote to me but a bit insane. I wonder if they realize the knowledge base that is lost when very experienced people leave their jobs. So many jobs require a depth of knowledge that can take years to accumulate. Most jobs are not as black and white as the job description says. Where oh where is this all headed? When benefits start getting delayed and funds come up short I suppose there will be an outrage. But will it be too late?

I saw article written by a human resource officer that described all that DEI provides for. It is not just affirmative action hiring. It is also provisions for the blind and disabled, sidewalk ramps, parental leave, large print materials, accessible transit options, etc. I bet part of it has impacted each of us without us knowing that is why a particular service was provided.

I hear and feel the comments about how our government is too big and bloated. I agree cuts need to be made. I disagree with how they are being made. I fear the ones that are least able to recover from a gap in payments will suffer the most.

Enough with my political rant. I will not promise that I won’t do that again. I will give you a trigger warning of more to come. If what I am saying goes against what you believe in, I wish you well and wish you goodbye. No hard feelings.

Grateful we all can express our opinions and we don’t all have to agree, grateful we get to choose who to read, and grateful there are other options for those that don’t agree with me.

Wow January flew by so quickly. I can’t grasp that tomorrow is the first of February. Yet Christmas 2024 seems like it was a year ago. I have a weird relationship with time these days.

I stayed in bed until noon today. I would wake up and read for a bit and then doze back off. Rinse and repeat all morning long. I didn’t have any real reason I needed to get up so decided to stay in bed and relax.

I got started on my own tax prep today. I am about 35% done. It feels good to have gotten that project started. I have a free weekend so hoping I can get them done by Sunday evening. I think I have all the tax forms in so maybe I can drop them off at the accountant’s office next week.

I’ve struggled a bit to stay above neutral today. I had some hard feelings I needed to process and allow to surface to be felt. I listened to some videos that addressed exactly what I am feeling and that helped. I love when what I need shows up for me at the exact moment. That seems to happen more and more lately.

I walked both dogs late afternoon. It felt good to get out and walk a mile. It was pleasant out today although the wind was a bit brisk. I only needed a sweatshirt though. It is to be in the low 60’s over the weekend. Spring-like weather to kick off February. I am very ready for spring. I’m sure we will have a few more blasts of winter before it is truly spring but I will take the days that hint at spring between now and then.

February is filling up for me with seven days of doing taxes already scheduled. I am the backup for Monday and Tuesdays so maybe get even more days added before the month is over. I have to go to KC twice the second week of February for testing that will complete my exercise program.

It will be nice to have two free stay at home days ahead. I am feeling the need to isolate and insure I can keep myself regulated and above neutral before I see people again.

Next week I have to go to Topeka Monday morning for a doctor’s appointment and then I have my last exercise session in the afternoon. Tuesday and Thursday mornings I am doing taxes at the Emporia Senior Center. That will make the week go by quickly.

Feeling a bit unsettled this afternoon. I had a big exeprience yesterday and I am working my way into acceptance and trust but am not there yet. The videos I watched today helped. I saved them so I can rewatch them to remind me of why this had to happen. Deep down I know it is the right thing but my heart, gut and brain are not completely aligned yet. I will get there – it is going to take me some time though. My old brain is challenging me today with the what now questions. I am doing some work to reprogram it into acceptance to quiet that down.

Grateful for a spring like day in KS today, grateful for a mile walk with the dogs today, and grateful that acceptance and trust is within my reach.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I got about three or four hours of sleep and woke up around 4:00 and was never able to go back to sleep. It has been a long day.

I did a bit of house work this morning. The dogs have been tracking in and the floors needed attention. Not sure why I did them as when we brought the dogs in this afternoon they really tracked in. I had to redo the floors.

I canceled the group that was to have met this afternoon as one by one the people that were coming had to drop out for various reasons and I only knew of one person that was coming. I sent her a text to let her know I was cancelling the group session. To my surprise someone I didn’t know was coming showed up.

Kathy and I had a delightful conversation with him. We reminded each other that our jobs right now is to focus on ourselves and keep regulated. Then from that state spread all the random acts of kindness we can. We each find different ways to get ourselves regulated and to keep that way. We do ourselves no favor or anyone else for that matter if we drop into fear and worry. Sometimes that means shutting out much of the world for blocks of time.

The conversation this afternoon was divinely perfect. The Universe has a bigger plan for me than I know. I need to loosen my grip and allow and trust in all ways.

I realized today that I need to back off from organizing and leading small groups. They can happen organically as they are needed. My ego was getting in my way and I struggled to let go of a vision I was holding. I now see that my vision needs an update.

I have been feeling this way for quite some time and knew that the end was coming but I had struggled to let go. The last two things I attempted did not turned out the way I had hoped they might. That is another one of my ego issues – expectations. Whenever I have expectations I get disappointed.

Today turned out to be a wonderful blessing in disguise. I am grateful I learned my lesson and am now able to put this thing I have been carrying down. Sometimes it has been hard for me to see the obvious and I am grateful it only took two times this time for me to get my lesson. I feel lighter this evening in a new way.

What happened today really reinforces what I have been reading and learning. The new matrix is calling us to each go inward and do the work that needs done there. My only job is to do my own work. When I can keep myself regulated when I interact with others magic happens on its own and I don’t have to do anything else.

For a co-dependent person this has been a hard lesson for me to accept. I love teaching and leading and it is hard for me to give up. I saw today the benefits of doing so. The new way of being is calling me to do things differently on many levels. Today ended up being a gentle lesson for me and I am grateful for that.

Life these days is beginning to feel much simpler on one level yet more complex on another. It is challenging to find all my old habits and patterns and preferences that I need to let go of. I wonder why it is so hard to allow myself to only focus on myself? Old habits can be so hard to break. I will continue to do my work and remind myself that is all I need to do right now. The Universe will best use me in the ways I can serve best.

I will continue to practice random acts of kindness as often as I possibly can. That is an action that I can take that will help satisfy that nagging itch of mine to do something. Someday I hope that itch will go away but it feels like an addiction to me and it will take lots of work and courage to beat it.

Grateful for the lesson I received from the Universe today, grateful for the person that showed up unexpectedly today, and grateful for the work I am doing on myself.

It feels like it has been a long day after a long night. The dogs were restless last night and neither Kathy nor I got a good night’s sleep. The dogs wanted out and then back in and then back out again. Not sure what they were seeing or reacting to but they had trouble settling and therefore so did we.

I went to Emporia around 1:30. I had to have a blood draw and then I went to a bank to close out an account. I then had a tax class. It was a long day in town.

The results of most of the blood work is back. My TSH was 2.6 which is within the range although on the high side. My doctor commented and asked if I was dehydrated or if I had been sick as two ranges on the comprehensive panel were out of range. She wants me to repeat that test in one week. The ones that were out of range are usually out of range for me and no one has ever taken action with them before.

I learned a couple of new things in class today. Found a button on the state return that will save me lots of time. I also understand the Homestead tax in a new way. At least the classes this year have been helpful as I learned a couple of things that will make doing taxes easier for me. I still wished we spent more time on going over the normal things we see rather than the exceptional once a year things.

We start doing taxes next week. We are only doing nine returns a day and are open three mornings a week. I only have one regular shift a week but am the backup for the other two days. I already have three extra shifts for February. It will be good to get started actually doing taxes and get to the fun part of doing them.

Call the Emporia Senior Center between 9:00 and 1:00 during the week to get on the schedule. We do them for free and there is no age limitations or income restrictions. We don’t do farm income or rental income that requires depreciation but other than that we can do them. We even do out of Lyon County people so Chase County people can come to the Emporia Senior Center to have their taxes done too.

Tomorrow I am hosting a gathering so we can regulate ourselves and support each other. We all need to figure out the best way to handle the stress that is happening around us on a global stage and find ways to resist. The most important thing we can do is take care of ourselves and then reach out to those within our direct reach. There will come a time when larger action is needed but until then we have to take care of ourselves and make sure we are staying out of the muck pond and are able to regulate ourselves. When you become unregulated you become susceptible to the distortion of facts and drop into fear and become easy to manipulate.

I have found taking small steps of action helps me reduce the amount of anxiety I fear. I am dedicated to doing one random act of kindness a day. It can be as simple as sincerely complimenting someone on something they did. It can be writing a note of appreciation to someone. When I find myself looking for ways to support and lift others up I find them easily. Having the courage to tell people good things I see about them used to be a challenge for me but the more I do it the easier it is becoming.

I think the weekend is free and clear and I will get a few stay at home days. This has turned into a busy week and I look forward to some down time this weekend.

Next week I have to go to Topeka on Monday and then have exercise in the afternoon. Tuesday and Thursday mornings I am doing taxes.

Grateful my tax lesson classes are completed for this year, grateful my TSH was in range, and grateful for the new things I learned in class that will make doing taxes easier.

I am working to do a random act of kindness each day to counteract all the chaos that is happening in the bigger world. Today two different people did a random act of kindness for me.

I went to Costco to do a major restocking of stable items. I had a full cart and wanted to get four cases of bottled water. I decided I would check out and then go back and get the water as I didn’t think I could pull two carts full of stuff through the store.

When I checked out the guy checking me out was most pleasant. He said he hoped he would see me again at the end of our transaction and I said you will. I need to take this stuff to the car and then come back and get four cases of water. He said we can go get that for you. He sent the bagger guy to get the water for me and the checker added the water to my bill.

When the guy came up with the cart full of water I reached out to take the cart from him. He said after you. He followed me to the car and put the water in the back of my car for me.

I had dreaded loading the water into the cart and then unloading it and putting it in the car. Those cases are heavy and I struggle to get them out of the cart. Wow! That was easy! I told the guy that he made my day and I appreciated his act of kindness.

After I got home I had to unload the water and carry it in the house. I so appreciated that I only had to lift and carry the water once today instead of three times. I wonder if the guy realizes how much he helped me today and how much I appreciated his extra effort.

Sitting with a grateful heart this afternoon. Mr. Rodgers always said to look for the helpers in times of crisis. I found two of them today. They are all around us if we notice.

I am still in the process of putting everything away. This small house is a challenge to find storage space for things. Space is here, I just have to put on my thinking cap and find creative places for things. It feels good to be stocked back up.

The thermometer on my car said it was 59 when I got in my car after the Costco adventure. Wow! What a wonderfully warm day for the end of January in Kansas. It is to stay warm through the weekend and then another mild cold front comes in next week.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for another tax training class. Before class I need to stop and have a blood draw in preparation of my annual visit to my Endocrinologist next Monday. I like having the blood draw prior to the visit so we can discuss results at the visit.

I keep reminding myself that fear and confusion is the objective to the national agenda right now. Once people fall into fear and confusion they stop thinking rationally and become unregulated. People that are unregulated are easier to manipulate and control. We all have to find ways to stay regulated and find ways to resist, each in our own way. Small acts of kindness is one way. It keeps you regulated and helps others rise up too. Wonder what the world would be like if we all could do that?

Grateful to be on the receiving side of some random acts of kindness today, grateful for this unusually warm winter day, and grateful we can change the world through acts of kindness.

I didn’t fall asleep until after 6:00 this morning. I was awake at 8:00 but stayed in bed hoping I could get some more sleep. I dozed off and on for the next couple of hours. I didn’t feel well rested when I woke up.

I went to Emporia for exercise. Thankfully it wasn’t very strenuous this time. I only have one more session and then I will be done with this part of the program. In two weeks I have to go to KC twice for the final testing.

I stopped by to see Tagen for a hot minute and then came home. It was one of those trips to town that I only had exercise and no other errands to do.

Tomorrow I want to go to Wichita and go to Costco. My list is getting long and the weather is to be nice tomorrow. It will be a good day to get out of town. Wednesday I have another tax training class. Thursday some friends are coming over so we can support each other and ground. Friday and the weekend look clear at this point so I may get three stay at home days in a row.

I haven’t felt the best today. Not sure if it is from a bad night’s sleep or what is going on. Haven’t had much energy and feel very fatigued. I don’t think I am getting sick – it feels different than that. It is probably a release of energy. The collective energy in the world right now is full of chaos and fear and it is easy to let some of that in. I’m grateful my body is casting it off and not holding on to it.

Grateful I only have one more exercise session, grateful I got to see Tagen for a hot minute today, and grateful this too shall pass.

I didn’t get out of bed until well after noon today. I didn’t fall asleep until around 3:30 or after. I woke up at 8:00 and my eyes still felt tired so I laid in bed a bit longer. Fell back asleep and had a wonderful dream although I don’t remember it now. Rinse and repeat a couple more times until I finally felt rested.

I walked the dogs for the first time in a long time today. Felt good to get out and walk a mile. I have been sitting way too much lately. Sophia came in very dirty. I took a different route with Roxy so she wouldn’t get so muddy. It was a bit chilly out today. My face was cold when I came back in but the rest of my body was good. Much easier walking in 30’s than in 10’s.

I am watching the Chiefs game. They are off to a good start but we shall see what happens. I am a casual fan so not too vested in the outcome but if the game is close I get anxious.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia at 2:00 for exercise. Only one more session after this one. I will miss the time visiting with my trainer. We are like-minded and have had some very deep conversations. I won’t miss the trips to Emporia. Although tax season starts the week after exercise stops so I will still be going to Emporia two or three times a week.

Since I broke my media fast I read some news today. I am allowing myself to read until I can feel I am becoming unregulated and then I shut it down. I was able to read longer today than yesterday. My heart hurts for those being hurt by the new regime rules. I trust when I am called into active resistance I will know when and what to do. Until then I will keep myself full of love and light and share with all I come into contact with.

The latest show I am binge watching is The Resident. It sure portrays the corruption in the current medical system. I am beginning to wonder what system we currently have that may be operating without corruption. Anyone know of one?

I’m still on my spending fast. It has been a month now and still going strong. A couple times I have caught myself starting the process to buy something on-line and have been able to back away. I even put something down at Walmart the other day when I remembered it wasn’t on my list. Going to go for another month and see how long I can keep this going.

Really starting to feel the two different realities that are occurring in this country right now. I struggle to emotionally connect with some of the stuff that is happening right now. My circle feels smaller somehow and yet more powerful and stronger than ever. Not sure I am saying this correctly. It is hard to put into words. I read comments from some and I just don’t get it.

Time continues to befuddle me. I can’t believe it is the last week in January already. Not sure where January went. If the rest of this year goes this fast it will be Christmas time again soon.

Grateful for a long night’s sleep, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful to be out again walking the dogs.

It has been a quiet day at home today. I haven’t even gotten dressed yet and have no plans to do so. It was my first stay at home day since last weekend and I decided to declare a PJ day.

I did get some tax homework done. I had to take two more tests and I managed to pass those. I checked the answers on two of the problems I did for last week. One of them I found one little mistake and was able to fix it myself and get the right answers. The other one I have one situation where I can’t figure out how to fix it. I’ll have to get help on that one. The rest of the return is correct though. I feel more proficient this year than I have before.

I have some green chicken and potatoes cooking in the crock pot. It sure makes the house smell good.

The dogs have been outside most of the day. It is warming up a bit and the snow and ice is finally starting to melt. The dogs came in covered with mud. Yuck! I think I will delay my housecleaning until it dries up a bit. It may be a while – I don’t think I mind!

I plan another stay at home tomorrow. The only thing on my agenda is watching the Chiefs game at 5:30. I get anxiety watching them even though I have absolutely nothing invested in the game. I get caught up in the game and struggle to disconnect.

Monday I have to go to Emporia for my next to last exercise session. Wednesday afternoon I have another tax class. I’m thinking it will be the last one as the following week we start doing taxes. I may go to Wichita to Costco on Tuesday. I have a growing list of things I need and the weather is to be nice. I want to go visit my aunt while I am in Wichita. I haven’t seen her for a bit and am overdue for a visit.

Thursday afternoon at 4:00 I am hosting a gathering of like-minded people. We all need to lean on each other during this time of chaos so we can stay grounded and in love. Sometimes gathering with others gives us more courage to do what we need to do. All are invited. We will do a meditation and talk about ways we can be in service to our community and to each other.

I took some time this morning to allow myself to feel some hard feelings. I think the chaos of the country caught up with me and I needed to allow the feelings to surface. They came up easily and seem to have passed on by. I have been surprised it didn’t hit before now. I read the news now until I can feel it is starting to trigger me and then I close it down. I can only take very small bites of it.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the great smells of food cooking in the house this afternoon, and grateful I am almost done with tax homework.

I went to Emporia at 2:00 for exercise. Only two more sessions to go. Had an interesting conversation with my trainer. We are like-minded and I think I helped calm her down a bit today.

Went to Walmart to buy groceries afterwards. The store wasn’t so crowded today so I was able to get it and out quickly. They had a 40 pound bag of ice melt so picked that up. I need to keep it on hand. The ice melt I ordered over a week ago finally came in yesterday.

I don’t need to go to my friend’s house tomorrow so gained an unexpected free day. I have AARP tax homework to do so will attempt it tomorrow. I also still have to get my own taxes prepped and ready to take to my accountant when the last two tax forms come in.

It warmed up to 47 today. Nice! The temperatures are going to jump up and down over the next week with the possibility of moisture late next week.

My hand is doing well from the dog bite yesterday. It is black and blue but not swollen today. I can move my thumb without pain. Grateful that is going to heal without issue.

I am still following my spending fast. It has almost been almost a month and I’m still going. I would like to keep my streak going for several months. We shall see what happens.

I got an email from a guy that I follow today. He talked about all that is happening in the US right now and how many of us aren’t sure what to do. He said what I have been feeling that there isn’t a lot we can do to stop things on the national level. However we can do things locally. He challenged all the recipients to do one act of kindness a day. We can all reach out to one person and do something to ease their day. It can be as simple as a chat with a friend that is struggling, taking a meal to a shut in, giving a donation no matter how small to an organization that is helping others, write your congressman, volunteer your time with a non-profit, the list of possibilities is endless. Take some time and meditate and find ways to be in service internationally.

The most important part of all of this is to stay out of fear and helplessness and step into action even if it feels too small and not enough. That is just your ego speaking and keeping you small. Just one act a day can help change the world! Imagine what we can all do if we all do this.

Looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. This week turned into a bit busier than I had expected and I need a couple days at home. Next week is filling in rather quickly and I won’t have many empty days.

I’m surprised I have been able to stay above neutral most of the week. Limiting my intake of news media has helped. I am reading headlines but not lots of details. I also have been limiting my time reading media to just a few minutes each day and again each evening. There is just too much happening right now that could pulled me into the muck pond. I do no one good when I let that happen.

Grateful for the warm day today, grateful my hand is healing well, and grateful for the conversation with my trainer today.

I didn’t fall asleep until almost 6:00 this morning. I was able to sleep a couple hours after that. Sure makes for a long night when that happens.

I went to Emporia for a 2:00 meeting with my tax lesson instructor. I learned a couple more new things. I sure hope this year is easier for me. I have finally learned how to ask for help and that does help eliminate frustration.

Went over to see Tagen afterwards. We ended up going to Bobby D’s for a late lunch. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids or grandkids.

While I was at my friend’s house doing taxes her dog bit me. I was getting ready to leave and the dog was sitting on top of my coat. I reached for my coat and it triggered the dog. It is a little dog but managed to get my whole thumb in its mouth. I have a very small break in the skin on the top of my hand. The inside of my hand is sore and red. My hand is starting to swell a bit and may have really pretty colors tomorrow. I’ll keep a close eye on it and seek medical treatment if warranted. I doubt it will be.

I have some tax homework to get done before next Wednesday. Hopefully it will go smoothly and I will get the right answers this time. Taxes are really complicated to do with all the schedules and the many choices of entry pages. The problem is they teach us things that we rarely see. Thank heavens most of the ones we actually do are simple and quick. Found out there was some corrections to the material in the book that we didn’t get until after we did the taxes. That makes it hard to do them correctly when you don’t have all the information.

While I was in town I mailed a note of support and appreciation to Rev Mariann Budde. If you want to send one her address is: Episcopal Church House, 3001 Wisconsin Ave, NW, Washington DC 20016. She showed more courage than most of the US Senators and Representatives.

Last night I emailed Moran and Marshall and asked them when the bar being set crosses a line and they will speak out. It seems to be dropping daily and so far they appear to be silent. I doubt that it will do any good but I felt an obligation to speak out.

To put a stop to this national circus we will need people with courage to speak out like Rev Budde and Liz Cheney did. I just read where both Susan Collins and Lisa Murdowski are going to vote against Pete Hegseth. Anyone else notice it is the women of the world that are speaking up? We got this!

I have been surprised that I have been able to hold myself above neutral most of the week. The meditation Monday helped. The media fast I am on helped too. There is so much heaviness and fear in the world right now. I am intensifying my efforts to reach out to those around me and offer a hand up. I still struggle with thinking that is enough but that is all I have to offer. The other thing I am doing is doubling down on my self care so that I can hold myself above neutral and keep my container full of light.

Grateful to spend time with Tagen today, grateful for the hero’s that are present in the world, and grateful tax prep is coming along.

Slept in this morning. Felt good to get a full night’s sleep.

I went to Emporia for my 3:00 tax training session. It was one of the more productive sessions I have even attended. I had to leave before it was over as I had made a date with Jason and Michelle to have dinner.

I met Jason, Michelle and Ellexia at Bruff’s for dinner. It is always a good day when I get to have dinner with one or more of my kids and get to see grandkids. We talked for 1 1/2 hours. I gave them each a pan of the peanut butter balls. I dropped off a pan for Tagen before I went to do taxes.

Tomorrow I am meeting the tax instructor for a one-on-one session so I can figure out what I am doing wrong to not get the correct answer on the test. I promised myself this year I would figure this stuff out and understand what I do wrong. In years past we didn’t cover the problems and work them out if you didn’t come up with the right answer. I appreciate that we are doing that differently this year. I learned several new things tonight and one thing especially will make it so much easier to navigate the Chrome book. I am so used to Apple devices that the Chrome is giving me issues.

Friday I have to go back to Emporia for exercise. One of those days I will stop and get some groceries. Saturday I may be going back up to Council Grove to walk dogs for my friend so her husband can get some work done outside the house.

This has turned into a busier week than I expected but I am grateful to find ways to be in service. I am intentionally looking for ways to be in service right now and opportunities are presenting themselves. Funny how that works! I would like to broaden my reach and do even more of that in the days and months coming.

Kathy was able to walk the dogs today. They seemed very happy to get out of the pen and back in the street. It warmed up to the upper 30’s today – felt like a heat wave after the single digit day or two. I read where we might be in the 70’s the first week of February. Not sure I like when the weather does extreme swings as that is not a normal weather pattern.

Still doing my best to stay media free for the rest of the week. I had to turn off breaking news notifications from some sources so I wouldn’t get informed. I will go back to reading headlines and stories in another week or so but for right now I can’t handle reading what is happening. It pulls me below neutral and when that happens I am not useful to anyone – including myself. I can’t totally ignore the world stage but I can only read about it when I can totally control my own reaction. I have to stay out of fear as that pulls me down.

I need a new series to watch on either Hulu or Netflix. Anyone have any recommendations? I checked a few out last night but didn’t find one that captured my attention yet.

Grateful to have dinner with two of my kids, grateful for the learnings during tax class today, and grateful for a warmer day today.

It was -6 degrees when I woke up this morning. That is too cold for beast or man. Burrrr.. Can it be spring yet?

I used the remote start on my car to warm it up before I left for Manhattan. It still had some ice on the windows 20 minutes later. I had to scrap them. Yuck! I need to get a better scraper as the one I used today didn’t work well.

Drove to Manhattan and spent the day with a friend that fell last week and hurt her hip. Luckily nothing was broken but she is still moving slowly and is sore. I drove her to her Physical Therapy appointment at 10:30. While she was doing PT I went to the Dillons in Manhattan and got the groceries she had on her list.

I was so impressed with the grocery store. I had to ask for help a couple times so I could find what my friend wanted. Every person I interacted with was helpful and friends. The check out lady was one of the best checkers I have ever encountered.

Took the groceries to my friend’s house and put them away and then went and picked up my friend from PT. We stopped and got a pizza for lunch from Papa Murphy’s and went home and baked the pizza. I put a load of laundry in for my friend and then later put it in the dryer and carried it upstairs for her.

After lunch we visited for a bit and then we both took a nap. I didn’t sleep well last night and the nap was good for me so I could drive home safely.

I stopped at Hays House for dinner. They have the best chicken tenders. Came home and got home right before dark. I saw the most unusual thing in the sky on the way home. It would get long and then shorter and seemed to be floating. Whatever it was shining in the sunset light. I stopped and snapped a picture of it. The picture I took isn’t impressive but it will remind me of what I saw. It felt magical for some reason.

When I got up this morning I took a hot shower. I flushed the toilet after using it after my shower and noticed it sounded funny but didn’t think too much about it. Kathy let me know that she discovered the cold water line in the house was frozen up. I put a space heater in the bathroom and then sent a text to my savior Phil.

He was out on a job but said he would come work on it if it didn’t open up by later afternoon. He told me to keep the cold water tap in the bathroom open. By the time Phil got here the water had thawed and was running. Phil was going to put a space heater under the house but the door to the crawl space was too frozen to open. I’m grateful the water line opened on its own. I will keep the space heater running overnight in the bathroom. It is to warm up tomorrow and only be 17 overnight tonight and be in the lower 30’s on Wednesday. I’m grateful this cold wave didn’t last as long as last years did.

I may have to have Phil look at the pipes this summer and see what needs to be done to prevent them from freezing up again next winter. Now I know that I need to keep a space heater in the bathroom on cold winter nights.

Nicole sent me the link to the recorded meditation from yesterday. If anyone would like to view it let me know and I will email it to you. The meditation was wonderful and the Q&A afterwards was excellent.

Tomorrow I have a tax class at 3:00 and then I am meeting Jason, Michelle and Ellexia for dinner at 5:00. It will be good to see two of the kids and spend some time with them. I have Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter balls for them. I had made them for Tagen’s birthday and made plenty to share with the others.

Thursday I have a free day and then Friday I have to go to Emporia for an exercise session. After Friday I only have two more sessions!

No plans for the weekend. I’m sure I will have some more tax homework to do and I would like to get my own tax package put together. I will find time to watch the Chiefs game on Sunday. The net week so far all I have on my calendar is exercise on Monday. I’ll probably be adding a tax class but we shall see.

It was fun to spend the day with my friend. We had a good heart to heart talk which is always good for my soul.

Still riding the high from the meditation yesterday. I’m grateful we were able to do that on Inauguration Day. The meditation reminded me to stay focused on things that I can do something about and to remember the national stuff is going to do its thing and there isn’t much I can do about it. I have really been limiting my media consumption this week and have blocked several sites on Facebook and have unsubscribed to several news emails that I used to get.

Grateful for time with a friend, grateful for a safe trip to and from today, and grateful the water line thawed out.

Woke up to light snow this morning. The high today was around 10 degrees and it is to be below zero overnight. Burrr…..

Seven of us gathered via Zoom to participate in a meditation by Gentle Thunder. She reminded us to use our breath to calm us before responding. It was a peaceful meditation and much needed on this day.

At the beginning of the meditation she called in our ancestors, guides, family members that have crossed to the other side. I felt a hand on each of my shoulders and felt the presence of many join us. Powerful!

Gentle Thunder reminded us that we have free will and we have to invite our guides and others to help us. I needed that reminder.

The dogs are still very upset with us that we are not walking them. They go out to their pen for an hour or two and then come in and then want right back out. Roxy didn’t want to leave the back porch again. She sat where we keep her leash. I got her message loud and clear she wants to go on a long walk. Too cold and too slick for me to take her. It is to warm up in the back half of the week.

Tomorrow I am going to Manhattan to help a friend that fell last week. I am driving her to her PT and then going to get some groceries for her. It will be a fun visit for me and I am grateful I can help out in a small way.

I didn’t get the Chocolate covered Peanut Butter balls delivered yesterday so will need to do that either when I get home tomorrow afternoon or take them to Emporia with me when I go for my tax prep class Wednesday afternoon.

Started the process so Michelle can buy her house. We hope to close in March. I am so proud of how she has been able to save the down payment and take on this responsibility. It will be good to be down to two rentals.

I have started a media fast today and will go for five days without reading the news. It is my silent way of protesting. It is also a reminder to myself that there is not a damn thing I can do to change the outcome of what is to come with the new administration. I will use the time I used to read the news by doing something helpful for those within my reach. Gentle Thunder reminded us today that the most powerful thing we can do to change the world is to be compassionate and act with mercy to all those we encounter.

I have only about six more shows to watch before I finish the This Is Us series. I have really enjoyed watching it. I will be sorry when I come to the end. I’ll have to find another series to binge watch.

Grateful for those that joined with me in the meditation today, grateful for another stay at home day, and grateful it is to warm up later this week.

Had trouble falling asleep again last night. I slept in this morning with a few wake up periods.

Today is Tagen’s 19th birthday. I texted him and asked him what treat he would like for his birthday. He asked for Chocolate dipped Peanut Butter balls. I got those made up early afternoon. I will take them to him either tomorrow morning or Tuesday.

I worked on tax homework a bit more today. I cannot get the right answers on the test questions so I will need to schedule a private session with the facilitator and find out what I am doing wrong. I was getting frustrated and had to stop today.

The dogs are not very happy with us as we are not walking them today. It is 10 degrees right now and way too cold to walk them. They have spent most of the day outside in their pen. They love this cold weather.

Tomorrow afternoon is the meditation. Only have a couple people coming over for it and have several others that are going to watch it on Zoom during the live call. We are recording it for some others to watch it at a more convenient time for them.

Now sure what to think about the inauguration tomorrow. I will not be watching it or tuning into the news for five days starting tomorrow. For some reason I feel like I need to go on record for saying I didn’t vote for him. I understand why he was elected as I think our systems need to be taken down and a new way needs to come forth. He will be the best one to let them break down and to help that happen. I am concerned about the people that will be hurt through this process and the lives that will be turned upside down. I am doing my best to stay above neutral and not spend time worrying about things I cannot change.

I do have a belief that we are going through a world wide transition and that love will prevail in the end. This darkness had to surface to come to the light. I will spend my time sharing light and love with all I know and come into contact with. I will also be attempting to build a bigger Mutual Aid Network so that more people feel they have a bit of a safety net around them. We will all need to reach out to those in our reach and provide whatever support we can to each other.

Grateful for Tagen and all the joy he brings to me, grateful we have an outdoor pen for the dogs so we don’t have to walk them on bitterly cold days, and grateful for the work I have done on myself and my ability to hold space for others.

I stayed up way too late watching This Is Us on Hulu last night. They were in the middle of a story line that I kept watching one more show for it to finish up. Three shows later they made it.

I went to Emporia early afternoon to get some groceries. I thought it would be a bit warmer today than it is going to be tomorrow. Not sure it was the best time to go though as Walmart was packed. People were in the mood to visit with friends they ran into and were oblivious to others around them. Had to do U Turns in the isle to get where I wanted to go. I thought it was the day before Thanksgiving for a bit.

I got my tax homework done this morning. Kathy walked by and said I haven’t heard you cussing yet. For some reason, it went easy today. I figure out something I have never been able to do before. Yay for me! I was also able to get through the three different log in pages to get where I needed without issue today. First time this year I could do that.

I can do a couple more problems if the mood hits. I got what I needed done and the other problems would be for my own peace of mind. It feels good to be ready for Wednesday already.

I have been watching the Chiefs game off and on this afternoon. So far they are ahead but you never know if they can hold on to a lead. The game makes me anxious so I take breaks off and on.

The dogs hung out in their pen this afternoon for a couple of hours. They love this cold weather. It is bitterly cold today with the wind blowing hard and the cold temperatures. Tomorrow and Monday are to be even colder. Yuck! Can it be spring yet?

No plans for tomorrow. Kathy is going to Emporia in the afternoon to go to the movies but I am going to stay home. Movies aren’t my thing. I need to do a bit of housecleaning to get ready for the guests that are coming over Monday afternoon for the meditation. Other than that I will take another rest day.

My left ear is itching and driving me crazy. Not sure what to put in it to calm it down. I’ll have to google it when I get done blogging and see if I can get some relief.

The city cleared Plum Street yesterday. I so appreciate that. The only remaining ice that is a problem for me is right around my car. I park on grass so it is hard to shovel. Kathy got the front walk and back pad cleared. Nothing is going to melt for another couple of days. We are to get to the lower 40’s by next weekend.

Doing my best to stay out of guessing what may happen after Monday to this country. I do best when I block that all out and stay focused on keeping myself grounded and above neutral. There isn’t anything I can do about the national level but I can continue to look or ways to be in service locally and to build a mutual aide community.

Grateful the tax homework went easy today, grateful groceries are in the house, and grateful tomorrow is a stay at home day.

I didn’t go to bed until 3:00 this morning. I took way too long of a nap yesterday. I was surprised I was able to sleep at all last night.

This day has felt weird to me all day. Not sure why. The time thing has gotten me a couple of times today. I thought it was 5:30 so I had dinner and then when I looked at the clock again I realized it was only 4:30. This has not felt like a Friday to me today. Not sure what day I think it should be but was surprised when I went to type Friday on my blog. The weekend is here again already.

I worked two more problems for my tax homework. There is something that I don’t know how to do on one of them again. Trusting we will cover it in class next week. If not, I will need to get a private session. Still have four more problems to work. I can only do so much at a time. I sure wish we did the regular things we see during tax season and not the one a year type situations.

Listened to some good podcasts last night and today. It does my soul good to be reminded of what is happening on the global stage and what my job is in all of it. I manage much better when I can be an observer and not get pulled into the muck. I have a feeling the muck is going to increase and attempt to get my attention. Am working on finding ways to remind myself to stay in the light and on my own path and not allow the darkness to pull me under.

Sophia had a mild episode last night. I need to figure out a way to get the video I took of her to the Vet. I forgot to call today and ask them how to do that. I will take care of that Monday. Not sure the video is the best but I think the Vet will be able to see how she struggles to stand and was very restless during the episode.

I am working on washing two loads of laundry. I finally got the laundry I washed a couple days ago folded and put away this morning. I am running a bit behind.

I did manage to get to my desk today and checked to see if I had forgotten to pay any bills. Didn’t find any. I haven’t managed to start my own tax prep yet either. I am still waiting on bank statements and other tax forms so there is no real rush to get that done.

No plans for the weekend. It is to be bitterly cold again through Monday. Think I will stay tucked inside all weekend and enjoy my little space heaters warmth. Sunday is Tagen’s birthday so may make him a treat. I have already given him his present.

Next week is the meditation at 3:00 on Monday. Not too many have responded to say they are coming. I’m a bit disappointed but it is what it is. Several of us will join together and several more are joining us via Zoom. I am looking forward to it. Gentle Thunder is a wise sage and is in touch with Mother Earth and her ancestors.

Wednesday next week I have another tax training session. Friday I go to Emporia again for exercise. It will be another relatively quiet week for me.

Sitting in a good head space today. I do much better since I have turned off the extra news stations that I used to read. I do skim the headlines and keep up with breaking news but don’t spend lots of time on it. There isn’t anything I can do about national things and if I spend too much time on reading about it I find myself being pulled into the muck. I am no good to myself or anyone else when I am unregulated and below neutral.

Grateful I can ignore time for the most part these days, grateful I am making progress on the tax prep work, and grateful for podcasts.

This has been a quiet, stay at home day. I have managed to not get anything done today but some work on my tax class. It didn’t go well.

I did take another long winter afternoon nap. Sure wish I could sleep at night as well as I can in the afternoon. Somedays I take sleep whenever it finds me and am grateful to find it.

The tax class thing is so hard. Thank heavens I know that doing the taxes is actually easy compared to the prep work. I do need to get the instructor or one of the class members to teach me a few things. I promised myself this year that I would learn a couple of things that have stumped me in the past. We aren’t taught in class how to do them, we just compare answers to the quiz and together pick the best answer.

Just getting into the computer is enough of a challenge. We use five different programs that each have their own password and user name. One of the passwords has to be at least 15 characters long and has special requirements. That alone is enough to make me want to get drunk.

I worked on the tax prep stuff in spurts. I would reach a point of wanting to throw the laptop computer and decide I better step away for a bit. I would do so and then return later to try, try again. Nothing about this feels easy to me.

No plans for the rest of the week or weekend. I will continue to work on the tax prep stuff and figure out what I don’t know. I need to make an appointment with the instructor so I can get some private lessons. Other than that I don’t have too much on my pending list to tend to. If I have a good day tomorrow I may make a few phone calls and get some other appointments set up. They have been pending for a bit and I haven’t been able to make the calls.

It felt warmer out today than it actually was. Tomorrow it is to be even warmer. I welcome this break in the temperatures. Kathy shoveled us a better path out both the front and back doors today. Saturday the temperatures are dropping back down and Sunday and Monday we will be in the single digits again. Yuck! Hopefully it won’t last long. I am done with winter and still have weeks to go.

I was scrolling last night and came across an article that shared how communities are developing small Mutual Aid Networks. It is a group of 10 – 25 people that live in the same community and start out as strangers yet are neighbors. They make a list of resources that they are willing to share with others. For some it may be giving rides to doctor appointments, sharing garden produce, having ownership of special useful tools, special talents, etc. Others may offer housesitting or pet sitting help, extra beds for guests, etc. You get the idea.

The group shares contact information and then they meet together informally a couple times a year – think pot luck, bowling, etc. When one in the group has a need they ask the mutual aid group for support. What a wonderful idea to help build a community resource and help to break down the invisible barriers that we sometimes place between ourselves and our neighbors. We have lost the art of being neighbors and this would help bring it back.

I am going to continue to sit with this and then see how I might be able to get a group started. It would be important to me that the group includes people from all social and economical levels. We all have so much more in common than we have differences if we stop and get to know each other on a deeper level. Somehow we are loosing the human connection to each other and I need to find ways to help build those bridges.

Grateful for long afternoon naps, grateful for warmer temperatures, and grateful for the courage to tackle tax prep work.

Happy birthday to my brother Chad. One of these days he may decide to retire but he is the last of the five of us to do so.

I went to Emporia at 3:00 for another tax meeting. I do not do well during these meetings. There were only six of us there but at times there were three different conversations going on at the same time. We were told to do problems 1 -6 but then some had done the other three so we went cover those too. I hadn’t done them as I didn’t think we were supposed to. Oh well, I wrote down the answers and I will do the problems tomorrow and see if I can come up with the same answers.

I’m grateful the actual taxes are easier than the training part. We have another meeting next Wednesday afternoon. Hoping it will be the last one but am thinking we will need one more meeting after this one to do the state part.

I put in a pick up order at Walmart for groceries so when my tax meeting was over I stopped and picked those up. I knew I would be fried from the meeting and would not want to go in the store and have to deal with people. This way I got what I needed and was able to come home. I stopped and filled the car up with gas on my way to Walmart and then stopped and grabbed some take out after I picked up my groceries.

I had ordered ice melt but they were out of it but are to ship me some. I hope it comes before the meditation event Monday so I can put some down on our front walk. I slipped on it a couple of times today. It is to warm up a bit tomorrow and I need to go out and attempt to shovel some more of it away.

My calendar is free until next Monday so will get several stay at home days. I have had three busy days so welcome the chance to slow things down and stay home. I took care of paying two bills this morning and looked at my desk. I didn’t see anything urgent pending but I need to give it a better look tomorrow. I still need to get my tax prep completed too.

Tomorrow is trash day. I may attempt to get the big poly cart to the curb. I skipped last week as it wasn’t worth the struggle. We don’t usually come close to filling the cart and can easily skip a week or two.

Monday is the meditation event with Gentle Thunder. Still have lots of room for people to join us. It is also going to be a Zoom event and I will be happy to share the Zoom link if you want to watch from your home. It starts at 3:00 and we expect it to last around 90 minutes.

If you are interested in getting your income taxes done for free, we are going to start doing them February 3 at the Emporia Senior Center. We will be doing them on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday mornings only this year. Call the Senior Center for an appointment or let me know and I can get you on the schedule. We don’t do complicated ones that deal with depreciation but most returns we can handle.

Sitting in a good head space today in spite of the meeting angst. It will be good to have some quiet time at home the next couple of days. Something has shifted in me again and I never know how or why but find myself reacting differently when my trigger points are activated. My self talk is changing again. When I say or think something negatively about myself I now usually follow it up with a positive or reassuring comment. Not sure where that is coming from but I think I like it.

Grateful meeting two for tax prep is completed, grateful the groceries are restocked without having to go in a store, and grateful the car is full of gas.

A new friend came over and we talked for an hour about her end of life care plan. I gave her a lot of information and she is going to digest it all and get started making her plans. We will meet again once she has time to make some personal decisions. It was a good conversation and reminded me I want to do more of this work.

Kathy went with me and we took Sophia to the Vet. I had requested a particular Vet as the last one blew me off and said Sophia was fine. This one, Dr. Eric Hess listened well and asked lots of questions. He did a physical exam on Sophia and then we talked some more. He didn’t repeat the blood work that was done in October as he didn’t think it would show much. He offered to have me take her to Manhattan for an MRI but said it would cost over $2,000 and he wasn’t sure it would be helpful. He does think Sophia is having seizures of some sort. Her pattern of behavior fits with that. He wants me to try to record them on my phone. I’ve tried to do that before but it takes me a bit to find my phone and by the time I find it and get the video going she is usually over the episode. I’ll keep trying.

He offered a couple of drug options and we talked through them. One was a short acting drug and one takes three weeks to reach optimal effectiveness. We decided on the short acting one but not giving it until she starts showing symptoms again. I am to report back to him if the medication worked and shortened the duration of her symptoms. If so, then he wants to put her on the other daily drug as a preventive. If not, then we need to discuss what to do next.

We also discussed how far we want to take this. Sophia is eight years old and is considered a mature, older dog. Her seizures are increasing but at this point she still has lots more good days than bad days, even without medication.

I really like Dr. Hess and how he listened and asked questions and took me seriously. He gave me lots of options and didn’t push for lots of expensive testing that would probably not be helpful. Hoping we can come up with a plan that will lessen her symptoms and give her a better quality of life for as long as we can.

I came home and took a long, long nap. Both dogs were restless from the full moon last night and neither Kathy nor I got good sleep last night. I may not sleep tonight as a result of a too long nap but it does feel good to be rested right now.

I haven’t gotten my tax homework done yet but I still have tomorrow to do it. I need to have it done by 3:00 tomorrow so have lots of time to get it done. I may still get it done tonight – we shall see. It will only take me about 10 minutes to do it.

After the meeting tomorrow I don’t have anything else on my calendar until next Monday. It will be good to slow things down again and have some free days. Still feeling like I am running behind due to the busyness of the last two days.

I probably need to stop and get some groceries tomorrow after my tax meeting. I need to start fixing some real food and eating better. I am starting to have some acid reflux again and that is a sign my body gives me to tell me to eat better. I need to make a list and stop and pick some things up so I don’t have to make another trip to town this week.

I am still on my no spending kick. I’ve done a good job of not spending much money since I started the end of December. I thought of something the other day that I wanted and I went to the Amazon site and looked at it and then remembered I don’t want to spend unnecessary money for a bit and was able to back off. I hope to go until at least the end of March with little spending and I may be able to go longer than that. 2024 was a huge spending year for me and I need to change my ways for 2025.

It is slick as snot outside. The dogs have learned how to poop in their pen outside so we have been letting them go in their pen instead of walking them so much. It is too dangerous yet to walk them far. Hoping it will melt some more the next two days so we have some safe space to take them out. There is a cold front coming in this weekend that is to bring below zero temperatures for a few days. Hoping we don’t get more snow or ice with it. Looking forward to being able to safely walk the dogs again.

Feeling a bit anxious this evening for some reason. I got so used to having days with nothing on the calendar and it has been a bit of a struggle to step back into several things a day I needed to attend to. So far I have been able to stay above neutral doing the things and have been able to recharge after each day. Not sure what the anxiety is from but it seems to be hanging around. Lots of changes coming for all of us over the next couple of months. Doing my best to stay above it all and staying out of fear. Limiting my media exposure has sure helped.

Grateful for a kind and compassionate Vet today, grateful for the work I do with helping others make their end of life plans, and grateful for long winter naps.

This has been a busy day. It started with a trip to Council Grove this morning. Kathy took care of a friend’s dogs today while our friend was having surgery. Kathy had never been to her house before so I drove up too to show her how to find the house.

Came home and had an hour before I had to go to Emporia for exercise. I only have three more exercise sessions with my trainer and my one year program will come to a close.

After exercise I went back to Cottonwood Falls and went to a friend’s birthday happy hour party. I always love spending time with my like-minded friends.

Came home and walked the dogs on very slick streets and sidewalks. I almost went down twice. Decided I best stay in the yard where there is snow to walk on. The streets are packed down and are like a sheet of ice.

Went back to Emporia for the first tax prep training class of the year. That started at 6:30 and didn’t get over until after 8:15. Came home and walked the dogs again.

I finally get to sit in my corner chair and relax a bit. I have two things tomorrow so won’t get a rest day then either. Have another tax prep meeting Wednesday afternoon so won’t get a rest day until Thursday. I don’t have anything planned this weekend so should get a couple stay at home days.

It has been awhile since I have had such a busy day. I’m glad everyday is not like this one. I did manage to keep myself full and above neutral all day so I will call this busy day a win. Things felt rather effortless today which was nice. The hardest part of the day was walking the dogs and staying upright on the slick spots.

I have some tax homework to do before Wednesday afternoon. I should have time between appointments tomorrow to get it done. If not I have Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning free. This part of the tax season is the hardest which is taking the required tests and remembering how to work the system. The meeting tonight was mainly helping make sure we all could get logged in and reset all the required passwords. I have five different log in places and user names and passwords to keep straight. Dang, that is hard.

It was a beautiful drive into Emporia this evening and on the way home. The full moon was casting moon shadows on the snow. There was little traffic so I could enjoy looking at the snow covered pastures. I asked the moon for some help releasing something I am working on. She is always willing to help me out if I remember to ask.

After a busy day like today I feel like I am running behind at home. I only have one or two little things that need to be taken care of and they can wait till Thursday but I still feel a bit of anxiety that I am missing doing something important. I have gotten so used to a very slow, quiet pace of living that busy days can throw me off. It is an old behavior pattern and I keep reminding my brain all is well and nothing has to be done right now.

Grateful for my circle of friends and the love they bring to my life, grateful one tax prep training class is completed, and grateful I only have three more exercise sessions.

Oops, no KC Chiefs game today. I guess since the main starters didn’t play last week I thought that was their bye week – silly me.

It was treacherous walking the dogs today. I think today was the slickest day yet. We got just a bit of freezing rain last night and had a bit of wind today. Things melted yesterday and then the freezing rain came down. With the wind things were like an ice skating rink out there today. I slide once but didn’t go down. We ended up walking through the snow by the road – it felt safer than the slick roads.

I made a big batch of chicken and noodle soup today. I will have trouble eating it all up this week as I made too much. It sure tasted good but am betting I will get tired of it before it is gone.

Haven’t done much else today. I have to be out and about tomorrow and used today to make sure I was full of light. I won’t have another rest day until Wednesday.

Kathy is feeling better today so she is going to Council Grove tomorrow if my friend gets delayed at her appointment in Emporia. That way I can go to exercise at 2:00. I have a birthday party to go to at 3:30 and a tax meeting at 6:30. I will be peopled out by the end of the day.

Tuesday morning a friend is coming over so we can finalize her end of life care plans. Then Tuesday afternoon I am taking Sophia to Dr. Eric to see what he has to say about her episodes. She is doing well right now so not sure he will be able to diagnose her without seeing what she does.

I have a couple of phone calls I need to make to take care of some things. I have the hardest time sometimes making phone calls. Maybe this will be the week that I can get those done.

I need to think of some ways to advertise the meditation that Gentle Thunder is doing on January 20. I haven’t gotten very many responses from people saying they want to come. I will be disappointed if I only have a handful of people participating. I’ll put on my thinking cap and come up with some ideas and do some things to get the word out.

It is to warm up a bit by the end of the week and then another bitter cold front is coming in early next week. Yuck! Don’t see much more moisture in store for us so that is a good thing. Thinking we will have snow on the ground from these last two rounds until February.

I only have four more weeks of going to Emporia Fitness for exercises with a trainer. That year seemed to fly by. I’m grateful I did the program but not sure I would do it again. They didn’t want us to do exercises outside the program and I hit a plateau while doing their exercises and quit progressing. I had anticipated I would be challenged to do more intense exercises throughout the program but that didn’t happen. I will miss meeting with my trainer when the program is over.

Watched some YouTube videos yesterday and today. All of the spiritual teachers I listen to are saying the same thing. My job right now is to stay full of love and light and I am not to get pulled off center by all the distractions that are happening in the global universe. I can’t do anything to change what is happening with them but I can control how I respond and I can extend myself to those within reach. Somedays that doesn’t feel like enough but at another level I understand how it is. Our systems are collapsing around us and we have to rebuild this world in a new way – person to person.

Grateful for safe trips walking the dogs today on very slick roads and sidewalks, grateful for homemade chicken noodle soup, and grateful for the spiritual teachers I listen to.

Had trouble sleeping last night. Kept having weird dreams and I would make myself wake up so I could change the dream channel. Can’t remember any of them today though.

I went to Council Grove late morning to help out a friend. Did a bit of laundry for her, walked the dogs and made up two beds. It was nice sitting and visiting with her. When her husband came back home he fixed a lunch for us and we enjoyed having a meal together.

When I left her house I went to the grocery store in Council Grove. I love walking around new to me grocery stores. I picked up a few things I didn’t know I needed and then drove home. The roads were nice and clear today and I could go the speed limit.

Am doing some laundry at home today. I’m waiting for the last load to dry and then I will need to get both loads folded and put away. That will probably be all that I get done today.

Kathy isn’t feeling well today. Sure hope she isn’t coming down with the crud that seems to be going around. Hoping by tomorrow she will be feeling much better. One or the other of us is going back to Council Grove Monday to spend the day so the dogs can be taken care of. If Kathy is sick I will go.

It warmed up a bit today. We have a chance to get some more moisture tonight but it looks like it may go north of us. I want what we have on the ground to melt and go away before we get more on top of it but Mother Nature doesn’t ask me permission for her to do what she does.

No plans for tomorrow except to watch the Chiefs game. I got stuff to make chicken and noodles and may do that tomorrow. We shall see if the mood hits. I haven’t been doing a good job of fixing myself good food to eat and need to change that.

I have a pile of papers on the dining room table that need some attention. It is records that I need to organize and record for my tax prep work. It will drive me crazy to have them out on the table for much longer so will need to give them some of my time and attention and get them off the table.

I wish I spoke house insurance language. I keep getting adjustments and changes to the policies and they have lost me on what they are doing. They sure like to overwhelm one with lots of paper. Not sure how to make sense out of all of it and not sure I trust them to not take the time to understand it all. I have to be in the right mood to sort all that stuff out.

Sure is a lot of chaos and distractions happening in the world right now. I keep reminding myself to stay grounded and in love and out of fear. I keep feeling like the distractions and chaos are going to keep increasing and it will be easy to be pulled into fear. I can’t change anything happening in the bigger picture of the world. But I can step up and care for those within my reach. I keep feeling the urge to increase the size of my reach somehow but not sure what that is going to look like yet. The more grounded I stay the better I will be to help others in my path.

Grateful for a day spent with a friend, grateful for washing machines and dryers, and grateful for a quiet day at home tomorrow.

We got several more inches of snow last evening. The good news is the wind was not blowing and it softly fell on top of the other snow. Everything looked clean and bright this morning as the fresh snow covered up the muck from the previous snow.

It didn’t feel too cold today although it was in the lower 20’s. Without the wind the cold isn’t so bad. The fresh snow made it easier to walk the dogs without slipping and sliding on the ice that is below the snow. My little room heater has even been able to turn off for brief periods of time today. Most of the week it has run all day long. I didn’t even turn the oven on today to keep the kitchen warmer.

I texted my trainer and told her I wasn’t going to come to Emporia today for exercise. I decided it wasn’t worth driving to town on the fresh snow. I didn’t know how fast they could get the roads clear. The road grader people have got to be exhausted after the ice and two snow storms we have gotten.

I have gotten nothing done today. I took a nap in my chair this afternoon. It has been one of those days where I had no energy or motivation to do anything. I gave myself permission to allow myself to do nothing today. One of these days I will get things done – just not today.

Tomorrow I am going to Council Grove to help my friend out. Her husband has some things out of the house to take care of and I will walk her dogs and help her with some housekeeping chores. It will be a fun day out for me.

Sunday I plan on watching the Chiefs play in the afternoon. Monday I have exercise at 2:00, a birthday party at 3:30 and a tax meeting at 6:30. Tuesday someone is coming over in the morning to work on their end of life care plans and I am taking Sophia to the Vet at 1:30. I think the rest of the week is free.

Sometimes I wonder how time goes by so fast when I have days like this that I do nothing but sit in my chair. This week has been one big blur of nothingness except for my little excursion yesterday. It is hard to keep the days straight.

I’ve been reading about the fires in CA. They are making a big deal of the rich people that have lost their homes but I wonder about the hidden people that their jobs are to take care of the rich people – the gardeners, the cooks, the house cleaners, the personal assistants, etc. They don’t make the headlines and probably don’t have the funds to replace what they are losing so quickly.

Kathy noticed the refrigerator and freezer on the back porch weren’t running. The breaker had tripped. Freezers and refrigerators don’t work well in the freezing cold. May have to put my little space heater on the back porch tonight as that room isn’t heated.

I keep having a deep sense of anxiety bubble up. Not sure what it is trying to tell me. I am aware of it and spend some time welcoming it and allowing it to be what it is. It has been building for the last couple of weeks. I am doing my best to not drown it with my normal habits of distraction. Sooner or later I will figure out what it is alerting me to and if I need to do something about it.

Grateful for the beautiful snow that fell last evening, grateful for little to no wind last night and today, and grateful all is well even when it feels like it may not be.

I was going to watch Jimmy Carter’s funeral today but didn’t calculate the time difference right. I did watch the speech given by his grandson. It is worth finding and watching if you missed it.

I didn’t do much again today. It still feels like a time that I am to conserve my energy and hibernate.

I did get out late afternoon to deliver my knee scooter to a friend in Council Grove that broke her leg and dislocated her ankle. I fixed a pot roast and made no bake chocolate cookies and took some of the left over white chicken chili to them.

The roads are fairly clear. I could go the speed limit or close to it most of the way. I managed to make it there and back before the snow hit. When I got home I walked the dogs one by one and by the time I was done the snow had lightly started. It is coming down pretty good now.

No plans for tomorrow unless I go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. It will depend on how much snow we get if I go or not. Not worth risking my life to go.

One day this weekend if the roads are clear I am going back to Council Grove to spend the day with my friend. Her husband has some things he needs to take care of and he doesn’t like to leave his wife alone. It will be a fun day out for me.

I called the vet clinic and asked for an appointment with the only vet I trust at that clinic. He is the one that delivered Sophia eight years ago via C Section. She threw up again when Kathy was walking her and she keeps having spells where it looks like she has ice skates on and her legs wobble all over the place. The other night all four legs twitched for about three minutes and she was out of it afterwards. Something doesn’t feel right with her and I need her checked out. I had taken her in October when she was doing this and was told nothing was wrong with her. I don’t think I believe that.

I’ve had several people let me know they want to do the meditation on January 20 via Zoom at their house. If you are interested in doing so, let me know and I can send you the Zoom link. Gentle Thunder will be guiding us to find our own inner wisdom during this time of great change that is happening. It is time for us to step up and find ways to serve within our communities and help connect people.

Next week looks fairly quiet too. Monday I have exercise and a happy hour to go to. Tuesday I take Sophia to the Vet. Wednesday a friend is coming over so she can finish her end of life care plans. Other than that I will have lots of quiet time.

It has been a good week with lots of down time. It was good to get out today but even better to get back home. I like the energy of winter time as it feels like things slow down and invite me to slow down too. Although I am not being productive by my old standards, it feels like I am dong lots of internal work releasing old habits and beliefs. The coming months are going to be full of distractions and false truths and the clearer I am inside the better I will be able to see things for what they are.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Council Grove today, grateful to get to see my dear friend and her husband today, and grateful for this quiet respite time.

I think I am loosing track of what day of the week it is. When you do the same thing for five days in a row without anything to differentiate the days, they tend to get lost.

I did leave the house today. I finally got Gene’s Christmas present mailed. I went to Dollar General to get some milk for me and coffee for Kathy. They were out of all milk but they did have coffee. I went to Casey’s and they had milk.

The roads were slick but drivable if you went slow. I’m grateful I got my car cleaned off yesterday. I used the auto start and it was nice and warm for me when I went out to get in it. I did feel good to get out of the house for 15 minutes.

My tax prep folder came in so I have started my tax prep. I went through all my files and threw away stuff that was from 2023. I sorted the rental information into piles. I went through my medical stuff and sorted that all out. I will continue to work on the taxes and get the packet ready to go. I will have to wait for the forms to come in before I can deliver the packet to my accountant. Most won’t come in until the end of January so I have lots of time to get the packet ready.

Other than doing two loads of laundry which I haven’t folded and put away yet I haven’t gotten much done today. I did make a crock pot of white chicken chili this morning. Kathy and I have been eating on it all day. It hit the spot today. Not sure I will want the leftovers but will save them and see if they get eaten.

No plans for tomorrow. It is to snow again tomorrow night but it doesn’t sound like we will get lots of snow. Not sure if I will go to exercise Friday – it will depend on how much snow we get Thursday night. I won’t drive on snowy roads unless it is urgent and exercise is not urgent.

Gentle Thunder and I had a great conversation last night. She is set to do a meditation on January 20 at 3:00. We are doing it at my house over Zoom so if anyone wants to participate and can’t get to my house let me know and I can send the link. The cost is $50. I wanted to organize a positive experience for that day. Gentle Thunder did a meditation for the Global Water Healing on-line group. If you google globalwaterhealing.org and go to their archives and then scroll down to August 4, 2023 you will find her meditation. Kathy said she listened to it and was most impressed.

My house looks like a big disorganized coat closet. We have to put on so many layers when we go out and with walking the dogs we go out often enough we don’t bother putting them up. It takes us about five minutes to get suited up to go out and another five minutes to get everything off. I miss my mop sink I had at the country house – it was the best boot jack.

Still feeling like I am gathering up my reserves. It feels like I will be called into some sort of service soon and will need to be full going into it. As the world continues to change I believe all of us are going to have to step forward in ways we haven’t before. We need to all be working towards building a new type of community. So many people have dropped out and no longer feel connected. Somehow, some way we need to reach them and let them know they are worthy of love and connect with them.

Grateful I made it to the store today, grateful I got Gene’s package in the mail even though it is a month late, and grateful the tax prep project has begun.

Happy birthday to Craig. I missed texting him today to wish him a happy birthday and to thank him for the time we spent together. He has left a huge hole in many hearts. I have carried Nancy and my kids in my heart today as they find ways to celebrate Craig’s first birthday away from our sight. We all still carry him in our hearts. I sense his presence often.

It has been day number four of staying home. I did start my car and let it run for a long time. The front and rear windshields are now clear of ice and snow. Still can’t find the windshield wipers but maybe when I start it again tomorrow and let it run enough will melt that they will be visible. Thank heavens I filled the gas tank when I went to Emporia last Friday.

I fixed an insurance problem or two today. My renewal is coming up in another two weeks and I took time to read the policies. Found out the old garage on this property was still being covered. I got that taken off and the new 10 x 12 shed put on. I thought I had taken care of that when I changed the house from a rental to my personal property but guess not. I also notified them that Jason’s roof is Class 4. The agent sent me a form that the roofing company had to complete so the insurance company can give me a discount. The roofing guy got it right back to me and I got it to the insurance agent. Hoping we get it right the first time this time. Last time it took three tries.

I’ve been having an email exchange with Gentle Thunder, the lady that I want to do a remote meditation for us on Inauguration Day. I am going to call her in a bit and see if I can nail down a time. The email exchange has been a bit off so trusting we can work something out.

I had a lady that was going to come tomorrow and we were going to work on her final wishes. She wisely postponed it to next week. The roads are better today but don’t think anyone needs to be out unless absolutely necessary yet. I don’t have any plans on going anywhere until Friday and even then that might get canceled if we get snow again Thursday night as forecasted.

Tagen was going to come get my car and drive it to Topeka today but figured something else out. He has a diesel pickup and had the batteries out of it. Grateful he found a different way to get there. He let me know he arrived safely. These roads are still not real good and I worry about kids taking them seriously and slowing down enough to stay safe.

I do need to walk to the post office tomorrow and mail a package and two letters. We didn’t get mail again today. Can’t remember that happening before either. The poor carriers are going to have a full load tomorrow if they can get out then. I appreciate all the road workers, ranchers, and others that have to be out in this cold weather. Walking the dogs a couple times a day is enough for me.

When I was walking Sophia earlier today we came across a man that was walking a big dog on a leash. The other big dog with him was running free. The free dog thought hard about coming to see Sophia. I saw the free dog first and yelled at it to go home. I had a bit of struggle trying to keep Sophia under control as she was most interested in meeting the free dog. Grateful I was able to stay upright. Sure wish people would follow the leash law and keep their dogs on a leash instead of depending on voice control.

So far I am still able to relax into this unexpected time of grace. I haven’t gotten stir crazy or anxious. I have a dear friend or two with medical issues right now that I would love to be able to be a presence for them but will have to do it remotely. I have been allowing myself afternoon chair naps, lots of reading time, and not making myself do anything. It feels like a calm before the storm time for me. I need this time to build my reserves and learn how to block out distractions that are everywhere. I am enjoying this break I have been giving myself from the news. I read the highlights and allow that to be enough.

Grateful my car is now drivable if needed, grateful for Craig and the blessings he brought to me, and grateful the insurance stuff is fixed.

Another day at home. Too cold and the roads are too icy to go anywhere. I did walk the dogs around the block this afternoon. Kathy had taken them earlier. Sophia had a restless night and woke me up several times. I would let her out in the back yard without a leash on. She would run around and meet me at the front door and be there before I could get to the front door. She didn’t get the message that she could potty while she was out on her own.

I washed and dried the sheets off my bed but don’t have my bed made yet. I took a nap in my chair this afternoon. It was that type of day. I haven’t gotten anything else done.

A kid that helped me out during the move last spring put a message on Facebook that he would shovel driveways and sidewalks. I sent him a message and he showed up late afternoon. He was directed to do the sidewalks and behind the cars. He knocked on the door and told me he was done after doing behind the cars and the sidewalks from the front door to the driveway. Oh well, better than nothing. I haven’t gone out to see how good of job he did but whatever he did is better than I would have done. I don’t have any salt to put down so will have to deal with it as it is. Hoping the sun will melt some of it off tomorrow.

A dear friend fell on the ice Saturday night and broke her leg and dislocated her ankle. Dang it anyways. I can’t go help her in any meaningful way until the roads are better. She is having surgery next week so will hopefully be able to take a meal over by then. It sure can happen fast. Kathy and I decided we probably should be carrying our phones with us when we take the dogs out just in case. The dogs love to romp in the snow and cold and could easily pull one of us over.

No plans for tomorrow other than to stay inside and stay warm. The house has stayed warmer than I expected it to. I did turn the oven off last night as I decided it might not be safe to keep it running that long. I turned it back on this afternoon to warm up the kitchen a bit.

The back pantry room has snow on the floor that isn’t melting away. That room isn’t insulated and doesn’t have a heat source. Snow is piled up outside the back door about 12 – 15 inches tall. The dogs just jump right over it to get out. I guess I should have had the guys shovel the back patio off too but we can’t use the dog pen as the gate latches are frozen shut. My floors are a mess but decided it would do no good to clean them until the dogs can go back outside for the day. We sure track in lots every time we take the dogs out.

It is to get back into the lower 30’s and stay there or just below that for the next ten days. Not sure how much melting will happen as it will be close to 10 at night. At least we aren’t in for a long stretch of minus degree days and nights. 30 almost feels like a heat wave.

If I remember I need to start my car tomorrow and brush off the snow and let the ice melt. I don’t plan on going anywhere but it would be nice if the car was ready to go in case something comes up. I just saw a video about spraying alcohol on the windshield and the ice will melt quickly. I may try that. I have a remote start on my car and a full tank of gas so may go that route too.

I love these quiet days at home when I don’t have anything I have to do. There is a quiet calmness to them that I appreciate when I can relax into them. Somehow the days pass fairly quickly even when I am taking a do nothing day. Feels a bit like the calm before the storm. Not sure what storm is brewing but life seems to give me one occasionally. These winter days are good for building my reserves and refilling my soul’s light.

Grateful the snow got somewhat shoveled today, grateful I will have fresh sheets on my bed tonight, and grateful for a quiet winter’s day.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. We got probably about 8 inches today after a lot of ice yesterday. It is 14 degrees outside right now. Just got in from walking the dogs. We ended up walking in the road as cars had gone down and made a path. The sidewalks and yards were hard to gauge the depth of the snow. It was ankle deep in places and then the next step would be almost knee deep.

I’m grateful I have a pair of insulated coveralls. They keep my legs warm. And I also have insulated boots that help. The only place I got cold was my face.

Other than walking dogs I have taken another do nothing day. The house has stayed fairly warm. We have space heaters in the living room and in Kathy’s bedroom. I turned the oven on late this afternoon and it has warmed up the kitchen nicely. I may leave it on overnight.

I am working on getting two loads of laundry done. Wow! What a day’s accomplishment. Thinking tomorrow I will wash my sheets since I am on a roll!

For the first time that I can remember Highway 50 was reported closed today. I can’t remember that ever happening before. The only major highway in KS open was the KS Turnpike. I’m grateful I didn’t have to get out today or tomorrow. Way too many got into wrecks today – I wonder why they were out and about.

Lots of businesses in Emporia are closing tomorrow. The high school was not going to be in session anyways but other schools that were are closing. By Tuesday things should get back going again unless the wind comes up and causes more problems.

I thought several times about the house out on the hill today. When a storm hit like this last year I got snowed in for eight days. I couldn’t keep the driveway shoveled free. I could see the snow blowing hard today but the wind is so different in town. Walking the dogs was easy compared to walking down to take care of the chickens. Grateful I am now living in town.

Have a quiet week ahead of me. I’m grateful I moved my exercise session from Monday to Friday, I would have called and changed it anyways. I don’t have anything I have to get out for until Friday. I will find some things I can do around here and stay in. I can always start work on my tax prep.

Grateful I have the privilege of staying in for as many days as needed to keep safe, grateful for insulated boots and overalls, and grateful I made the move to live in town.

This has been a very quiet day at home. I didn’t sleep much at all last night and have no energy today. I have binge watched This Is Us this afternoon. I almost through Season 2.

We have gotten a coat of ice and I have seen very little traffic out front. I have read lots of accident reports on Facebook. We are to get a good dumping of snow on top of the ice. Not sure when the snow will get here.

I don’t have any plans for tomorrow either. It is to snow most of the day. I plan on staying tucked up inside all day tomorrow. I don’t have anywhere to go on Monday either so will probably stay in then too.

I made a pan of creamed chicken with biscuits today. I had a craving for them and they hit the spot. I have not been cooking food at home and only eating well when I eat out. I need to change that habit.

Jason let me know his new refrigerator got delivered today and it fit perfectly. We had to get a shorter one as he has a low cabinet above the space where the refrigerator goes. I’m glad it fit.

I need to remember to call my insurance agent Monday and make sure the policies that are coming due January 20 are correct. If I read the policy correctly they are still covering the old shed that I gave away on this property. I also need to let them know the roof on Jason’s rental house is a Class 4 shingle. Last time I ungraded the shingles on my country house it took the insurance agent three tries before he got it right. Trusting he learned how to do it and it will only take one time this time.

I will need to find an indoor project. I won’t want to get out in the cold and I can’t sit all day everyday. With the holidays behind me and Tagen’s house completed I need a new project. Not sure what that will be yet but I’m sure something will cross my path.

I’m having a time thingy again. Has it really only been a little over a week since Christmas Day? My connection to time is hard to describe. Time is feeling more and more like the illusion that it is.

Grateful for a safe and quiet day in the warm house, grateful for home cooked cream chicken and biscuits, and grateful Jason got his new refrigerator and that it fit.

Had a very weird thing happen today. When I came out to my car after grocery shopping at Walmart I got a text on my phone. I reached for my phone to read the text. The phone felt weird and I looked at it again. It was not my phone. It was on the console where I place my phone to charge in my car. My phone was in my coat pocket.

Not sure how the phone got in my car. When I went into Walmart I locked the car. I had stopped at Jacalito’s for lunch before I went to Walmart and had not locked my car there. My car was also unlocked all night. I hadn’t put my phone on the charger between home and Jacalito’s or between Jacalito’s and Walmart.

I took the phone to the Chase County Sheriff’s office when I got home from exercise. The deputy called me later and asked me if some names sounded familiar. They did not. Oh the mystery of things sometimes!

After I bought groceries I went to exercise. When I was checking out at Walmart I got really hot and my heart stated to race. I got very light headed. I took off my coat and finished up. Walked out to my car without my coat on and cooled down a bit. I felt a bit better so went to exercise. About 30 minutes into exercise it happened again. I had to sit down for a bit. I felt better but my trainer and I decided maybe I better stop exercise for the day. Came home and it hasn’t happened again.

Weird day to say the least.

Someone came over this afternoon for some help with some tax issues. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to offer much help other than to confirm the taxes last year didn’t look right to me. I helped her develop a game plan and we shall see what happens. It has been ten years since I did payroll and sales tax reports and things have changed and I have forgotten a lot of things.

I am ready to get locked in at home for the next couple of days. We are in a major winter storm warning for the weekend. I moved my exercise session that was scheduled for next Monday to next Friday just to be safe. I really don’t like to drive on icy roads.

I stopped on the way home from Emporia and filled my car up with gas. I like to keep it full during the winter and it wasn’t as cold today as it will be next week. Don’t plan on going anywhere but like to have it full just in case.

Last night I called my last Aunt and had a wonderful conversation with her. Her birthday was this week and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. She is in her upper 80’s and still lives alone. She is starting to have trouble with falling and had a bad fall a bit back. She has lots of great grandchildren that made her Christmas fun. It always feels like I have a conversation with my mother when I talk to her.

I have a quiet week next week. It will be a challenge walking the dogs in the bitter cold. Guessing we will only walk them long enough for them to do their business and then will return home. They love the cold weather but I don’t.

It will be good to have a couple of stay at home days coming up. I’m anxious to see how this house does in the bitter cold. It is a cold house already and have a feeling I am going to find it is even colder when the temperature drops below zero. I’m grateful I got some space heaters to help us out a bit. Wonder where we go in town if the power goes out and we need a warming station. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen. I had a propane fireplace at the country house so had a nice heat source when the power went out. Don’t have that here. I do have a gas stove so maybe I can turn the oven on and keep the oven door open. Not sure that will heat much of the house but will keep us from totally freezing I guess.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. I have been able to keep myself regulated and above neutral the last couple of days even when I was around people. The speed of things happening in the world right now takes my breath away. I do better when I tune out the news for the most part and stay focused on my inner world. I have started limiting my reading of the news to ten minutes a day. Any more than that and I get pulled off center.

Grateful for the Sheriffs Department, grateful for my Aunt, and grateful the groceries are stocked and ready for some snow days.

Is it really Thursday? Not sure what day I think it should be but it doesn’t feel like a Thursday. Glad we will be getting back to normally scheduled life.

This has been a very productive day after a rather sleepless night. I didn’t have my first sleep until after 5:00 this morning and then it only lasted about an hour. Was awake for another hour or more and then got another hour sleep. Tried one more time and finally got another hour. Dang, I dislike nights like that.

Tagen came over late morning and we went to the courthouse to do title work on the truck. The Treasurer was out to lunch and the office was closed until 1:00. We end to lunch and then came back.

It was opened the second time we went and got the truck registered. Found out what we have to do to switch the title to Tagen later this year.

Tagen followed me to Emporia. We went to Walmart and I got three 44 pound bags of dog food, a container of kitty litter and a big bag of cat food. Tagen lifts those things like they weigh 5 pounds each. I was grateful he was with me when we got to the checkout as the keys that hang off my purse got stuck in the cart and Tagen had to lift everything out of the cart so I could get my purse loose. He loaded everything into my car when we got to the parking lot. Over the next day or two I will get everything carried in the house.

Tagen then followed me to the water department and we got the water switched to his name. Good to get that taken care of today.

I came home and took care of paying a few bills and did some filing. Feel like I am getting caught up on some things. Found out the electric bill for both this house and Tagen’s house is on the same bill. I will have to help Tagen get the electric for his house switched to his name and then I think Tagen is all set to take on all the responsibilities of a renter.

It was nice that it worked out that I could go to lunch with Tagen. I love that man child and we always have good conversations. We ate at the Mexican restaurant in Strong City and the food and service was excellent.

I wrote out the checks to pay my estimated income tax for both federal and state. Ouch! Trusting that the accountant over estimated my payment and I will get some of it back in a couple of months. With the selling of a rental house, transferring a rental house to me personally and selling the county house I owe a lot of taxes this year. Sure wish I could designate how I want the Federal government to use that money. It would hurt less knowing it was going to help people and not support war and corruption.

Due to the water leak my water bill was over $200 this month. Ouch! Trusting now that the leak is fixed that will drop back to its normal $65 range. I hate waste and that bill was water being wasted due to the leak. Wish lines had an alarm on them to let you know there is a leak.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. From the sounds of the weather forecast I better stock up on groceries as I won’t want to get out over the weekend. We are to get ice and then snow. I an a wimp when it comes to driving on slick roads and will cancel plans so I don’t have to. We shall see if I can make it to town on Monday for exercise. I may just move it to Friday next week tomorrow when I go so I don’t have to worry about it.

Saturday morning someone is to come over so I can hopefully help them with a tax issue. Not sure I will be able to but I will do my best. It is almost time for tax season again. Trusting I will be able to make it to the training this year and will be able to pass the tests. Last year I got snowed in and couldn’t make any of the training sessions but did a private one instead.

It is almost time for me to start working on my personal taxes. The forms I need won’t be here until the end of the month but there is lots of prep work I can do until the forms get here. I didn’t have a good year on the rentals as they all needed major work done on them. Sure wish the major expenses were all deductible but most have to be itemized. I will be very grateful when the remaining three properties get sold and I am out of the rental business.

The tree trimming work at Tagen’s house got finished up today so I will be getting a bill for that soon. I think that is the last of the immediate pending projects I had going except for the foundation work that needs done at Michelle’s house. They had told me they probably wouldn’t get to that until spring. I do still need some foundation work done at this house and am on a wait list. Not sure if that can be done in the winter time or not.

Feels good to have had a semi productive day after a rather long string of non productive days. Every once in a while I need to have a day where I can cross several pending projects off my to do list. Today was extra sweet as I didn’t have to add more to the list. Slowly but surely my to do list is getting smaller.

Just remembered I forgot to mail Gene’s Christmas box today. I must get that done tomorrow. It may be February before it gets to him if I don’t get it off this week.

I got brave and cancelled my Apple News subscription. I need to dial back the amount of news I am consuming. I get a news update from two different sources daily that gives me the highlights of the news. If something really important is going on I can always turn on the TV or read a newspaper online. There is little I can do about anything that happens on a national level and if I consume too much of it I can get pulled off center and become unregulated.

Grateful two more things got done to help Tagen become self responsible for his rental house, grateful I had the money to pay my estimated taxes, and grateful I got to have lunch again with Tagen.

Happy New Year’s Day. I made it up to midnight but didn’t really celebrate. New Year’s Eve has never been a holiday that I celebrate. It feels too loud for me.

I have spent a pajama day at home. I decided not to get dressed today. I had no where to go and no real reason to get out of my pajamas.

The only thing I have gotten done today is two loads of laundry. I have it folded but not put away yet.

I have been binge watching the series “This Is Us” on Netflix. I haven’t even finished the first season yet and there are six seasons. It is really good although it confused me for a bit as it keeps jumping timelines following a family that had triplets. For part of it the triplets are babies and growing up and for part of it the triplets are adults. They jump all over the place as the babies are growing up but it is a good story line and I recommend it.

Tomorrow Tagen is coming over and we are going to the Courthouse to get his truck registered. Then we are going to Emporia to the water department to get that switched to his name. We also need to go to the bank and figure out which account is which. I thought I had it figured out but now I’m not sure. We set up the truck payment to come out of one of them and I want to make sure it is the right account.

Friday I have to go back to town for exercise in the afternoon. I also need to stop and pick up some groceries one of the trips to town. Saturday morning someone is coming over for some help with a tax issue.

It has been good to take a day and do nothing. I got good sleep last night and felt rested today but needed a very quiet day. Somehow the energy of the world feels too fast for me to absorb right now. It also feels like it is going to continue to speed up.

Someone posted a picture of the Northern Lights in KS again this morning. There was a big chance they were going to happen again tonight or in the early morning tomorrow. They are happening as a result of all the sun flares going on.

Now that the holidays are finally over things can go back to their normally scheduled programming. It is normally hard for me to figure out what day of the week it is but these last two weeks I have almost given up guessing what day of the week it is. Good thing my phone and iPad tell me that information daily.

If I don’t hear from Gentle Thunder by Monday I will contact her again. She had said she would get back to me a couple of days ago and I still haven’t heard from her. I am assuming because of the holidays she got tied up and will get back to me soon. I want to do some planning for an alternative inauguration event. I need to know what she will be doing and if she wants up to be able to lay on the floor or sit in chairs. Then I can start inviting people and find a space that will accommodate all that come.

Days like this help ground and center me. I feel ready for whatever is going to come my way this year. I need to remind myself to slow down even when things are speeding up around me. Otherwise I will get pulled into the chaos that is happening outside of me.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for good series on TV to watch, and grateful for the calm around me.

It has been a long day. Sophia got me up twice last night as she needed to go out. She is still having diarrhea. The last time she woke me up was at 4:30 this morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I did take a short nap in my chair this morning but I got a phone call after sleeping for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t go back to sleep after that.

I went to Emporia early afternoon. I met Jason at Guion’s and purchased a new refrigerator for his house. They are going to deliver it Saturday morning. Hoping the old one holds on until then.

I then went to Tagen’s house. We got the truck payment set up to automatically come out of a checking account. I transferred the gas bill to his checking account. The electric bill at the rental house is combined with my house. I guess I will have to have Tagen set up his own account next time I see him.

Tagen and I went to lunch after we got our business taken care of. I had a deep conversation with Tagen at lunch. I treasure the times I get to spend with him one-on-one. It’s been a good week as I got to spend one-on-one time with Ellexia yesterday.

I came home and took Sophia for a walk. Kathy had taken her about an hour before that but Sophia needed to go again. If she doesn’t get better soon I will have to take her in and see if they can figure out why she does this.

I think I get to stay home tomorrow. Thursday Tagen is coming here so we can get his pickup registration taken care of at the Chase County Courthouse. While he is here we will take care of transferring the electric bill into his name. I will follow him into town when we are done and go to the City of Emporia Water Department and get the water bill transferred to his name too. Then I think we are good to go.

I’m tired this afternoon. I am betting it will be an early bedtime for me tonight. I sincerely doubt that I will make it to midnight to welcome in the New Year. Although Sophia may get me up to do so tonight later.

I need to figure out how to link my bank with the bank Tagen and I are using. I used to do that with another bank account I had so I know it can be done. Have to find some time when I have some patience to attempt it. Sometimes those things go easy and other times not so much.

I was cleaning house a bit and found the box of Christmas cookies that I was to have sent Gene a week ago. Oops! I may make some New Year’s Cookies tomorrow and if so will add those to the box and get them in the mail Thursday. I am running way behind on this package. The mail takes so long to deliver these days he will be lucky to have the package my mid January.

I had put several bags of clothes that no longer fit on the porch and a friend stopped while I was gone and picked them up. That was easy! Saved me a trip hauling them to Goodwill. Someone else picked up a bag of yarn last week.

It turned cold today. It is to get even colder in the next few days. I kinda liked the 50’s better but guess that doesn’t count. It is January in KS and it would be weird if it didn’t get cold. Kathy mentioned the prairie wind today. If it is windy in town, I wonder how windy it was out on top of the hill where my old house is. I rarely think about the wind anymore since I moved to town.

There is a slight chance we could see the Northern Lights again tonight but it is too cloudy to go look. There has been an unusual amount of solar flares this year.

I’m ready to welcome in a New Year. This year has been a good one for me although it was busier than I like. Next year feels like it will bring lots of changes on many levels to most of us. Working hard to stay grounded and centered in the midst of all the chaos. I have heard it said that change is the only constant in the world. I remind myself to go with the flow and stay out of resistance to change. It is when I am in resistance that change becomes a challenge and can be hard to navigate. Accepting life for what it is and not for how I want it to be seems to be the key to happiness.

Grateful to get to spend some quality time with Tagen today, grateful Jason’s refrigerator is on its way, and grateful for a warm house on this cold winter’s night.

I didn’t want to get up when the alarm went off this morning. I needed to be in town by 9:30 so had to get going.

I picked up Ellexia and we headed to KC. I stopped and filled the car up at Costco. I should have done so in Emporia as gas was $2.62 at Costco. Could have gotten it for $2.59 closer to home.

We picked Nicole up and went to Johnny’s for lunch. Ellexia wanted Mac and cheese and French fries. She said they were good.

We dropped Nicole off and headed to Lululemon at Town Center. Ellexia had a sweater to return. She looked for something different while I stood in line for returns. After 20 minutes in line and not being able to see the front of the long line we decided to leave and I will return it a different way. It had taken us 15 minutes to find a parking spot.

We then went to Oak Park Mall. It was jam packed full of people too. We went to ten different stores until Ellexia could find something to spend her Christmas money on. She ended up with $2 and change left over but was excited about what she had found.

We headed for home after that. I was done!. Traffic was fairly heavy especially coming home. We drove through rain most of the way home.

I dropped Ellexia off at her mom’s house and I came home. I had wanted to stop at Costco in KC and Walmart in Emporia but I was done. I have to go to town tomorrow and will get what I need then.

It was fun spending the day with Ellexia. She knew what she wanted and had the patience to keep looking for it.

Tomorrow I am spending some time with Tagen to get some business taken care of. I also need to buy a new refrigerator for Jason’s house. His refrigerator is freezing things like milk and making a very loud noise when the fan turns on. I hope that is the last thing any of the rental houses need for this year. I have certainly had to do a lot of reinvestment in all three of them this year.

The rest of the week until Friday is free. Hoping to get some more stay at home days in. Friday I have exercise so will have to go to Emporia then.

I can’t wrap my head around that this week will start a New Year. Time and I don’t have a close relationship anymore. Things that happened in the past could have happened a week ago, a month ago or a year ago and it all feels about the same to me. Not sure how time goes by so fast when I spend most days sitting in my chair.

Wondering what the New Year will bring for us all. It will be interesting to see what happens with the transition of power in DC. I am challenging myself to stay grounded, centered. and in love regardless of what happens in the outer world. Trusting my role in all the changes will be apparent to me as I am needed to step up and serve.

Grateful for a full day with Ellexia, grateful to have lunch with Nicole, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

Sophia had tummy issues yesterday. She woke me up around 1:00 this morning as she needed to go outside. She woke me up again this morning. Trust she will recover quickly.

I cleaned the pantry on the back porch out today. Went through all the Tupperware and sorted lids to containers. Threw away a bunch of stuff that I had moved but haven’t used since I have been here. I can now find what I need in the pantry. I even have some empty space.

Finished cleaning my bedroom. I had sorted all the clothes the other day and just needed to finish up the little stuff. Feels good to have those two projects completed. I have some work to do in the dining room and kitchen and my decluttering project will be completed. The nice thing about a small house is it doesn’t take long.

This house functions best when it is not overstuffed with stuff. It will hold what I need but not extras. I always feel lighter when I can find stuff to get rid of. I like having empty space in my cabinets and in my life.

Tomorrow I am picking Ellexia up at 9:30 and we are headed to KC to spend the day. We are meeting Nicole for lunch. Ellexia has a sweater to return and money in her pocket to spend. It will be a fun day.

I made some homemade potato soup this afternoon. I hadn’t had it for a long time and it was delicious. I don’t usually eat white potatoes but for some reason was craving potato soup. Have enough leftover for another meal of it.

What a beautiful day out today. I can’t believe it is this warm the end of the year. I did read that there is a cold front coming in over the next ten days. Guess it is time for some real winter weather. Maybe we will get lucky and it won’t hang around. Sure don’t want a repeat of last January when I got snowed in for eight days.

I don’t have any New Year’s Eve plans. I usually don’t celebrate it much. I don’t like crowds and noise. Am thinking of having some friends over but haven’t gotten anything organized yet.

Sophia turned eight years old today. She has been a great dog – she loves people and is very gentle. People seem to naturally navigate towards her. Ellie, the fat cat, turned nine on Christmas Day. Hard to remember life without these two.

My divorce from Jim was final two years ago today. I have come a long ways baby! I had fallen into a very deep hole and wasn’t sure I would ever find my way out of it. With the help of an excellent therapist, some great friends, and support of my family I made it out! I will be eternally grateful to all those that gave me a hand up during that dark time in my life. I have reached the point I am grateful it happened as since that time I have learned lots about myself. Sometimes it takes the Universe to hit me up the side of my head with a 2 x 4 to get my attention.

Grateful for the joy Sophia brings to my life, grateful for homemade potato soup, and grateful for the decluttering that is happening around here.

This has been a quiet day at home. I walked the dogs a couple of times but other than that I haven’t done much. I have been binge watching a series on Netflix called “You Can’t Ask That”. It is a series of interviews with a variety of people. They have interviewed people out of prison, people with various additions, people with a terminal diagnosis, etc. Fascinating interviews and very well done. I highly recommend it.

I have another quiet day at home tomorrow. Maybe I will get something done then. Maybe not! I seem to have gotten pretty good at doing nothing these days.

Still waiting on hearing back from Gentle Thunder as to what time of day on January 20 she is available to do a ceremony for us. Once I get a time set I will send out more details. Once I know how many people might be interested in participating I will find a space that will accommodate us. Not sure if we will need to be laying down or sitting in chairs as I am not yet sure what exactly she will be doing.

I have been reading lots of 2025 predictions. Most are saying that we are in for a ride. However, they are also saying that staying authentic and true to yourself is going to be critical. Doing your own work and staying grounded and regulated is essential. There will be lots of outer distractions that will attempt to pull you into a constant state of fear. Those that can tune that out and remember that we are love and that is the state with which we will respond to life will have an easier ride.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for TV that shows real people dealing with real life issues, and grateful for a beautiful winter day.

I was on the road at 11:00 this morning headed to Council Grove. I had lunch with a dear friend. We talked for over two hours together. I love deep conversations with a safe friend.

Afterwards I went to another friend’s house that recently moved to Council Grove and had another deep conversation. I was a lucky woman today to get to spend time with these two dear friends.

I came home and took a nap. I didn’t sleep well last night and needed a bit of sleep to get me through the evening. I woke up and had some pot roast that I had put in the crock pot before I left this morning. The house still smells divine from the roast cooking all day.

Tomorrow I get to stay home all day. I don’t have any plans this weekend so will spend a quiet day or two at home. I have several things on my to do list if I find the energy and motivation to do them.

Next Monday I get to spend the day with Ellexia. We are going to KC to help her spend her Christmas money. We are meeting up with Nicole for lunch and then shopping until we drop. That will be a fun but exhausting day. Friday I have exercise in the afternoon but have a quiet week otherwise.

It was a good day. Anytime I get to spend time with like minded great friends is a good day. I am so blessed to have several in my life. It was good for me to get out of the house today and interact with others. I sometimes can spend too much time alone.

Grateful for the time I got to spend with dear friends today, grateful for a winter’s nap, and grateful for delicious pot roast and carrots.

I went to Emporia today to deliver Jason’s Christmas presents and I took some cinnamon rolls to Michelle. It was good to see both of the kids and have a short conversation with them. I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things and then came back home. Traffic was a bit heavy. It was still foggy around noon time.

I haven’t done much else today. I decided to give myself another rest day to recharge and refill. I am going to Council Grove tomorrow to meet a dear friend for lunch. It will be good to meet with her as we always have a deep conversation and I feel like I need one of those.

I heard from the lady that did the sound bath in Sedona. She is to get back to me soon about timing. It sounds like she is available on Inauguration Day just not sure what time or what she will be doing. I’m excited that she is willing to do something for us. She is incredibly talented and I am eager for my friends to get to experience her.

I have a roast thawing in the refrigerator. I need to remember to put it in the crock pot before I leave for lunch tomorrow. I have a lot of beef that I need to use up. I forget to thaw something and use it.

No plans for the weekend. Monday Ellexia and I are going to KC to go shopping and have lunch with Nicole. That will be a fun day I’m sure. Ellexia is fun to be around and it will be fun to have lunch with Nicole.

I have a quiet week other than the trip to KC Monday. I moved exercise to Friday. I rarely make plans for New Year’s Eve. I don’t like crowds and noise and it feels better for me to stay home. A quiet evening with a few friends would be fun but I don’t know if I have the energy to plan something. We shall see what happens.

Feeling a bit restless tonight. Not sure what is behind that and doing my best to allow it to be what it is. Christmas is a hard season for me and I have some releasing to do. Maybe I can cry myself to sleep tonight and allow the tears to help wash these heavy feelings away.

Grateful to get to see two of my kids today, grateful the lady from Sedona will do a ceremony for my friends on Inauguration Day, and grateful I know how to release these hard feelings.

I got up and got the chili cooking. Went back to bed for an hour. Got up and made cinnamon rolls and cleaned up the kitchen.

Jason and his girlfriend were going to come over at 11:45 to eat and watch the KC Chiefs game.

Kathy left at 1:00 to go to our friend’s house to join a group of our dear friends. I stayed behind waiting for Jason to come. He text me around 2:00 and said his fever was back and he had slept all morning. He felt bad that he didn’t come over.

It was a quiet day home alone for me. I watched the game and then took the dogs on a long walk. It was a bit nippy out today but not too bad for the end of December.

Tomorrow will be another stay at home day for me. My third in a row. I still have some house work I would like to get done if the mood strikes.

I have extra cinnamon rolls so need to find a home for some of them. I took a couple of them to a friend that is home sick with the rest of her family. Friday I am going to Council Grove to meet a friend for lunch. I will take some to the friend I am meeting and will go to Emporia either before or after I go to Council Grove and will take some to Jason and Michelle along with Jason’s Christmas presents.

Somehow it felt right that I spent Christmas Day alone. I have worked hard this year to break my co-dependency and people pleasing tendencies. I could have gone to my friend’s house and jointed the fun I am sure they had today but I felt called to be alone. I am more at ease with spending time alone with myself now than I have ever been in my whole life.

For some reason I feel that 2025 will call me to spend even more time alone. I have the internal resources to see my way through whatever the world will throw at me in 2025. I haven’t always felt that way and it feels good to be in this place. I do cherish the time I spend with my dear friends and family and will continue to make that a priority in 2025. However, I need to balance that with an abundance of personal, quiet time. It will take lots of energy to keep myself above neutral with what is headed our way in 2025. I am grateful to be in a place to know what I need to do to stay balanced and above neutral.

Grateful for a quiet day at home alone, grateful I am in a good head space right now, and grateful Christmas is over for the year.

As I wrote the date I remembered it is Christmas Eve. Since we had our family Christmas Saturday it felt like Christmas had come and gone. I am so messed up on what day of the week it is and its relationship to Christmas Day.

Jason and his girlfriend are coming over tomorrow to watch the game and to have chili with me. I so appreciate that. Maybe I will find some last minute Christmas spirit.

I didn’t get much done today. I watch a new movie on Netflix called the Six Triple Eight. Hard to watch but so well done. We still have a long way to go to combat racism in America. It hurt my heart to watch.

I did a bit of work cleaning out my kitchen but didn’t find too much. I still need to do the pantry and reduce it big time. It is so cluttered it is hard to find anything. I have a bunch of stuff I need to carry to the shed and didn’t have the energy to do that today.

Tomorrow I am going to make a crock pot of chili and some cinnamon rolls. It’s a Kansas thing to put those two things together. I don’t have a lot of Christmas treats left over for Jason so will make him something fresh.

I get to stay home Thursday I think. That will make three days in a row – Yay! Friday I am driving to Council Grove to meet a friend for lunch. I don’t have any plans for the weekend. Monday Ellexia and I are going shopping in KC. We are meeting Nicole for lunch while we are in KC. Not sure where we are going shopping but I know Ellexia will know where she wants to go. That girl likes to shop.

Both Kathy and I have been rather quiet the last couple of days. We both feel deeply and it is a hard time of year for both of us. I am grateful that Winter Solstice has come and the light will gradually start to return.

I contacted the lady that did the sound bath in Sedona but I haven’t heard back from her. She may be out of town with the holidays and will get back to me after the New Year. If she can’t do something January 20 I want to come up with Plan B.

I have a quiet January coming up. That feels good. Things have felt a bit too busy for me and it is time for me to slow things down. I need to make sure I am well grounded and centered. The outer world feels huge to me right now and it feels like things are going to get even bigger. It will be important to me that I stay grounded and centered and not get pulled into the outer chaos. I do myself and the world no good if I fall below neutral and stay there.

Grateful for another stay at home day, grateful Jason is coming over tomorrow, and grateful for movies that teach our history lessons.

I went to Emporia at 11:00 this morning for exercise at 11:30. The session went by quickly and I had a deep conversation with my trainer.

Afterwards I went to lunch and then to Walmart. Walmart was packed today with people doing last minute Christmas stuff. I had to climb on my hands and knees to pull out the sack of dog food I needed. Got the stuff to make some chili for Christmas Day and got out of there.

I asked for some help to get the bag of dog food out of the cart and into my car. The man that helped me was most kind. Last time I attempted to remove a bag from the shopping cart I tipped the shopping cart over. I am proud of myself for asking for help. Life is easier since I have learned how to do that.

I am almost done with cleaning my room. I went through my closet and got rid of five bags of clothes that no longer fit. I cleaned out my underwear and sock basket and my nightstand drawers.

Delivered two plates of cookies to my neighbors. I still have more plates to deliver tomorrow. The lady behind my house shared garden produce with us all summer long. It was past time I returned the sharing.

Tomorrow I plan on starting going through the kitchen and getting rid of anything I haven’t used since I moved into this house. I have hosted the major holidays and I figure if I haven’t used it by now, I won’t use it.

Cooking in this house for Thanksgiving and Christmas reinforced the message that this house will only hold what I absolutely need. When I pack too much stuff in it the house doesn’t work well for me. I will have lots of kitchen stuff to get rid of. If anyone knows someone that is starting out and needs serving dishes, etc. let me know and I will be happy to share. Otherwise it is going to Goodwill.

I have a box of books to get rid of too. I will take them to the library for the next book sale unless someone wants them. Most are romance type books. My bookshelves only hold so much and I have to adopt the one in one out policy or the bookshelves get overloaded.

Cleaning out my bedroom has been on my to do list a long time. Feels great that I was finally able to tackle it. Sometimes getting frustrated with the lack of space is a good thing as it motivates me to declutter. I needed to strike while that feeling was still hot.

I think I get to start a stretch of stay at home days. Town was too peopley for me today. I am going to meet a friend for lunch in Council Grove on Friday but think I get to stay home until then.

I texted with Jason today and he thinks he wants to come here for Christmas Day to watch the football game and eat chili. I was going to a friend’s house but will stay home instead. Somehow that feels right to me. I would have had a good time if I went to my friend’s house but am feeling the need to stay home for a bit and totally recharge. I invited Michelle to come too but don’t know if that will happen. Jason was sick when we had our family Christmas Day Saturday so it will be good to spend a day with him.

I sent an email to the lady that did my sound bath when I was in Sedona to see if she could do something remotely the day of inauguration January 20. I need an alternative to watching the news that day. If she is able to do something remotely I will host a gathering that day. Let me know if you would like to be included and I will send details as they develop.

My trainer sent me a Substack article entitled “Forming the New American Resistance by malcolmnance.substack.com”. The author had some excellent ideas about action steps we can take. One of them is taking a 100 hour media break starting the day of the inauguration January 20. I will do that and trust that others will join us. If you are interested in the article let me know and I will forward it to you.

One thing I like to do at the end of each year is do a deep clean of the house and release things that are no longer serving me. It clears out the energy of the house and makes room for something better to come in. I am a bit amazed at how much stuff I am finding to release since I spent the first half of 2024 releasing stuff. Feels good to go through things again and get rid of even more things.

Grateful to be starting on cleaning and clearing the house of things that no longer serve, grateful for resources that teach me positive ways to be in resistance, and grateful Jason is coming Christmas Day.

This has been a rest and recovery day. I didn’t get much done at all today. I did wash and dry two loads of laundry but don’t have them folded and put away yet. I have had no energy at all today.

I attempted to take a nap in my chair but was only able to doze off for a short bit. Woke up feeling a bit more refreshed but that wasn’t enough for me to get up and do something productive.

Tomorrow I have exercise at 11:30 instead of 2:00. My trainer had a cancellation and asked if I could come in a bit early. It will be good to get it out of the way early. I need to stop and pick up a few groceries while I am in town and I also need to drop off Jason’s Christmas packages. I have been concentrating on getting things for Christmas treats and I have forgotten to get food for me to eat.

I didn’t make it out to deliver Christmas treats today. Hoping tomorrow I will be in the mood to do that. I couldn’t people today.

I have been invited to a friend’s house on Christmas Day. Hoping I will be in the mood to go. I’m sure it will be fun if I can make myself go. Feeling the need to hibernate for a bit and allow some hard feelings to come and go. Tis the season for me to allow and let go.

I do need to go meet up with Tagen and take care of changing the utilities to his name. He is starting a new job and not sure when he is off. We also need to get the truck registered and get the permanent tags on it.

I am starting a no spend period. I want to see how long I can go without spending money on anything but essentials. The longest I have even lasted is about 90 days. Hoping to beat that record this year. I like to play games with myself – it helps me find old habits and patterns within. The hardest part about breaking an old habit is discovering you have it.

Grateful for a rest day at home, grateful Solstice reminds me the light is returning, and grateful my to do list can wait another day.

Christmas 2024 is a wrap. We had a delightful day watching the Chiefs win their game and eating lots of food. Jason was sick today and couldn’t come but Tagen and his girlfriend made it.

We ate all day long – sitting in the living room watching the game. I had fixed some appetizers and then we shifted to the main dishes but never did fix a real plate and eat a meal. It was very informal and fun. The kids each made a gingerbread house which turned out to be fun. We played some games and did a white elephant exchange. Very low key and relaxing day.

I had enough treats left over to make six plates for friends that I will deliver tomorrow. I also had enough to fix a box to send to my brother. I might make some more fudge and peanut brittle for my two brothers in Lebo. I might not find the energy to do that – we shall see.

I am working on cleaning up the kitchen. I do a batch of dishes and then come sit in my chair and after a while get up and do another batch. I am almost finished. It will be good to have my dining room table and kitchen back to normal.

I have absolutely nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I think I will take a rest day and finish up my to do list on Monday. This week has been overly busy for me and I am ready for some down time. Monday I have to go to town for exercise but other than that I have nothing on my calendar for the week.

Ellexia is off school for the next two weeks. We are going to find a day and go to KC together. She won some money in one of the games we played today and wants to go shopping. We will have lunch with Nicole and shop till we drop. That won’t take long for me at least. I look forward to spending a day with Ellexia.

During the week next week I need to do some deep cleaning of my house. The back pantry area needs straightened up and my bedroom needs some of my time and attention. I feel like I have been shifting stuff around and haven’t taken the time to properly store things. Now that the holidays are over I need to go through my kitchen and get rid of the things I haven’t used since I moved into this house. Space is a premium in this house and I don’t have room to keep things I don’t use.

Today was a lot of fun. As always after a big day like this I feel the let down. I am so grateful I have a quiet week ahead so I can take time to feel all my feelings and relax and rest. I don’t have much on my calendar for January either. I will cherish this quiet time and refill and recharge myself.

Days when the kids come home are the best kind of days. Without Craig and Jason here I felt there was a big hole in our family gathering today. I sensed Craig’s presence though and know he was here in spirit.

Grateful for a fun day with the kids, grateful Christmas is over for this year, and grateful for a house full of love today.

Got up and got going this morning. I vacuumed the floors and did some picking up. Then I made the sugar cookies and got them frosted.

At 4:00 eight of us gathered for a Winter Solstice celebration. We did a meditation and then had a wonderful conversation. I so appreciated those that came and how vulnerable they are willing to be.

I have a cheesecake baking in the oven now and the cherry jello salad made. That is all the cooking and baking I wanted to do today.

Tomorrow I need to get the little smokies in the crockpot around 9:00 or so. I am also doing nachos so will get those going sooner or later. I am making a green been casserole but I only have two crockpots so will do those in the oven when I bake the macaroni and cheese. Jason is doing pig tails.

I still need to get something ready for a game we are doing tomorrow and then I think I will be ready. It will be a fun day for this mom to have all her kids home. Not sure if Tagen is coming as he started a new job today.

Next week is a quiet week for me. I have exercise on Monday but other than that nothing on the schedule. I am overdue for a quiet week. I do want to gift some people with some homemade treats. I’ll see how many are left over from tomorrow. I may need to make more batches of some of them so I have enough to give away.

I haven’t gotten the Christmas spirit yet. Although any day all my kids come home feels like Christmas to me.

I got the invoices today for the sewer replacement project at Tagen’s house and the roof and gutter replacement project at Jason’s house. It will hurt a bit to write those two big checks.

Today was a good day. I love having friends over and having deep conversations. The world would be a much better place if everyone had a safe circle of friends to share their lives with.

Grateful for my circle of friends, grateful I am ready for tomorrow, and grateful the kids will all be here tomorrow.

Holding my daughter Nicole and Chris’s family in my heart today. Eight years ago today he made his transition. Anniversary dates call us to remember Chris and his life and the love that he shared with us all. We will carry him forever in our hearts.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. It was a long night laying in bed trying to sleep.

I got some of the things off my to do list done today. Most important is I got to stay home all day today. It feels like it has been a hot minute since that has happened.

I dusted the living room and did my laundry. I even got the laundry folded and put away. I wrapped the few Christmas presents I am giving Saturday. I made one batch of fudge and a pan of peanut butter bars. Got the bourbon slush made and put in the freezer.

Still have sugar cookies to make as well as peanut butter Ritz treats. Need to go to town tomorrow and get a grab bag gift and go to a bank and get the right bills I need for our game. I also want to make a cheesecake for dessert for our lunch Saturday. I got some cleaning done today but will need to finish the rest tomorrow.

I am beginning to think I may not get everything done. I might have to cross off a thing or two. I do need to unload the dining room table so we have somewhere to sit for lunch Saturday. My kitchen cabinets don’t have room for the extra things I got to use to make treats and for our lunch on Saturday. It will be good to have our dining room table back.

Tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 is our Winter Solstice ceremony. I look forward to these ceremonies. This ceremony is the best part of the holiday season for me. It helps give me focus for the coming year and helps me release any thing I am carrying from this year that doesn’t need to carry over to the new year.

I haven’t mailed my brother Gene his Christmas package yet. I won’t get to it until next week. I’ll see how many treats the kids take home and will probably have to make more the first of the week. I have several people I want to gift a plate of homemade goodies and not sure I have enough yet. I don’t have anything on my calendar next week so will have time to make second batches as needed.

I realized today how I don’t function well doing last minute things anymore. I used to be able to multi task with the best of them and get lots done. My pace of doing things has slowed down. I would do a couple things and then sit and rest for a bit and rinse and repeat all day. I am running way behind this year but am realizing if I don’t get things done it won’t really matter much.

Grateful to cross some things off my to do list, grateful some of the house got cleaned today, and grateful for the sleep I will get tonight.

What a busy day. I haven’t been home much at all today.

I went to a breakfast at a friend’s house. I left the house before 10:00 this morning and didn’t get home until 1:30 or so. We had a fun conversation and I enjoyed the time I spent. I had a haircut at 4:00 so had to leave for Emporia at 3:30.

After my haircut I needed to finish up getting the things I need for Saturday. Walmart was a bit of a zoo. Lots of people doing last minute Christmas shopping. They were out of the pretzels I wanted. I used the self check out line and attempted to purchase six gift certificate cards. The machine shut me down and the clerk had to come over. She said I had to go to the service counter to purchase the gift cards. There was a long line at the service counter and I didn’t want to wait.

I stopped at the ATM by Taco Bell and got some cash.

I went to Dollar General in CWF and got the gift cards I needed. Evidently there are a lot of scams happenings with gift cards right now and I had to pay in cash. Good thing I had stopped to get cash. They didn’t have the pretzels I needed either.

I went next door to Casey’s and they had the pretzels I wanted. Then I stopped by the ATM in CWF to get cash to replace what I used to get the gift cards. I finally got home around 7:00.

Too much people today! I am ready for a stay at home day tomorrow. I have a lot to get done as I didn’t get the sugar cookies made today.

Tagen let me know the plumber came today and took care of the sewer line. I stopped by his house and checked it out. It looks like they are done with that project. It is good to get that project crossed off my pending list.

I have a very busy day tomorrow. I need to clean the house, bake sugar cookies, make peanut butter bars and at least one batch of fudge. I trust I will wake up with lots of energy tomorrow and will able to get it all done.

Friday some friends are coming over for a Winter Solstice celebration. I need to give some time and thought to planning that. Saturday the kids will all be here before noon as the KC Chiefs game starts at noon. Next week I only have exercise at 2:00 on Monday and as far as I know now the rest of the week is free. I am so looking forward to that. It feels like December has flown by and I need to slow things down a bit.

Not sure what I am doing Christmas Day yet. I am invited over to a friend’s house for the day. I need to find out what my kids are doing and if anyone is free to come over. If so, I will stay home with them and watch the football game.

Still can’t quite understand that Christmas is Saturday for my family. I have not had even a bit of Christmas spirit yet. It will happen either way. I will enjoy having the kids home and spending the day with them Saturday.

I want to give some thought as to what my word for the year will be. This year my word was grace. I learned how to offer myself grace. With all that is happening in the world right now, I want a word that reminds me to continually make a connection with myself. Not sure what word captures that but am sure it will come to me.

Grateful this busy day is over, grateful I got what I need for Saturday, and grateful the plumbing project at Tagen’s house is done.

I had a slow start to my day. I would wake up and decide I was still tired and rest some more. Had some weird dreams during my short rest periods.

Today was chocolate Christmas treat day. I made peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate, pretzels dipped in chocolate and with the extra chocolate I put some pecans in it and made pecan clusters.

I went to a Christmas happy hour at a friend’s house. There were eight of us enjoying special Christmas treats and the beverage of our choice. It was a fun gathering and I always enjoy visiting with dear friends.

I came home and put all the chocolate goodies away. When I get done blogging I need to clean up the kitchen. I make a big mess when I cook. I had to get creative when I was dipping chocolate today. I put a cutting board over the silverware drawer and then set the pan of chocolate on the cutting board. It helped create a bit more space and made it easier.

Tomorrow I am going to a breakfast around 10:00 and I have a haircut in Emporia at 4:00. I have some last minute stuff I need to pick up while I am in town tomorrow. I still haven’t decided on the games we are going to do and need to make a decision soon so I can get what I need tomorrow so I don’t have to go back to town before Saturday.

Thursday is going to be my only stay at home day this week. I have lots of cleaning I need to do. Hoping I will find some time between events tomorrow to get the sugar cookies made. I also need to make the peanut butter bars. I will make the fudge on Friday and then I think I will be done making Christmas treats. I may need to make second batches of some of the things as I have several people I want to take a plate of goodies to.

Looking forward to having the family all here on Saturday. Those are my favorite days whenever I get to spend time with my family.

After Saturday things slow back down for me. I am looking forward to that too. December has flown by and I feel like I haven’t had much down time lately.

I was talking about the retreat today and realized that the vortex peeled away a layer from me. Somehow it is easier for me to know truth now. Not sure how that happened but am grateful for it. That is something I have been working on and speaking and living my truth is one of my goals for 2025.

Grateful the chocolate goodies are made, grateful for friends to gather with, and grateful slowly but surely I am getting ready for Saturday and Christmas with the kids.

I got home at 1:00 last night and finally turned the lights off at 2:00. I slept hard for two hours and then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I gave up around 7:00 and started my day.

I did three loads of laundry and got some of them folded and put away. I got tired and took a nap in my chair for about two hours.

I headed for Emporia around 12:30. I had some errands to run before exercise. I took care of my errands and then went to exercise. It was hard today as I am still tired and a bit sore from sitting so much yesterday.

After exercise I went to Good Saver and got my groceries for family day. I wasn’t up to going to Walmart and the smaller grocery store fit the bill for me today. I wasn’t sure I had enough energy to get all on my list but I managed to do so.

I came home and put things away. I haven’t done much else this afternoon and evening. I am still tired and sore and have little energy today. My tummy is still a bit angry at me and I have had to stay close to a toilet today. I know I am still a bit dehydrated today and have been working on getting lots of liquids down.

I may regret not getting more done today. I have somewhere to be every day this week and I don’t have lots of free time. I still have lots to do to get ready for Saturday family day. Hoping I have more energy tomorrow and I can get things done.

Tomorrow I am going to a Christmas open house in the afternoon. Hoping I get my chocolate candies made tomorrow so I can take some with me. Wednesday I am going to a breakfast and then have a haircut in the afternoon. Thursday I am hoping to have a stay at home day and get my cleaning done as well as some more treats made. Friday I am hosting a Winter Solstice and Saturday is family day. Oh my, I can do this!

Still thinking about the retreat leader and the type of job she did. I am waiting for her to send me a link so I can leave a review and what I might want to say.

I found the website and Facebook page of the sound bath lady. She really was one of the highlights of the retreat and I hope our paths cross again somehow some way.

It is good to be back home. It is always the best part of going away. Don’t feel like I have all gotten all the way home yet though. Thinking by tomorrow I will be here completely.

I just realized I forgot to put the sheets from my bed in the dryer. I was thinking I was going to bed early but now I get to wait until they are dry. Maybe I will find some energy and get something done while I am waiting for them to dry.

After Saturday Christmas will be done with for me this year. December has gone by much quicker for me than it normally does. I still haven’t caught the Christmas spirit but that is OK. It will come and go regardless.

I noticed on the retreat how I have changed. I knew immediately the retreat leader was not authentic and was not to be trusted. I kept my distance from her and did not engage with her. It felt like we were from different realities. In the past I would have over rode my intuition and would have tried to bridge the gap between us. Not sure that ever worked but that wouldn’t have stoped me in the past. I was able to take care of myself this time and not let her level of consciousness affect mine.

Grateful for a morning nap after a night of little sleep, grateful the groceries I need for Saturday are in the house, and grateful my sheets are in the dryer at last.