Starry night on the prairie

It was a bit of a short night. I took my bath around 9:00 and while in the bath got a text from Michelle. She needed to go to the ER as she was in a lot of pain. I quickly got out of the bath and got dressed and headed to town.

I picked her up and took her in. I sat out in the lobby while she went back. It is a humbling experience to see the traffic that comes and goes from the ER. Michelle finally got finished up around 3:00 and I took her home and then drove home. I’m grateful they were able to help Michelle with her pain levels.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. I gave up around 7:30 this morning and got up. One of those nights that it was hard to fall asleep and if I managed that, I wasn’t able to stay asleep.

Got the tall ladder out of the garage and got the very top of the kitchen cabinets washed and cleaned. Felt good to get that job done. I found lots of dust so it had been a while since it had last been done. Feels so good to have a very clean living room, dining room and kitchen.

I still need to clean the inside of all the kitchen cabinets but that little project will wait for another day. Most are not cluttered and just need wiped out and new shelf liner. I need to go to town in the next few days and will get new shelf liner so I can do that project.

I laid down for a nap this afternoon and managed to finally find a little over an hour of sleep. When I woke up it was lightly raining and it looks like it has been raining for a bit. So grateful for every drop the prairie can receive. It will be a muck boot type of walk down to the chickens in a bit.

Several friends are coming over this evening for a Winter Solstice gathering. That will be a wonderful time together. I treasure our time together and will enjoy this ceremony as my highlight of the Christmas season. It is incredible to me how many similarities there are between ancient rituals and the way Christians celebrate holidays.

Tomorrow Kathy and I are going to Wichita for the day. We will have lunch out and then go to the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair. I’m looking forward to a day out. I’ve never been to this Spirit Fair before so hoping it is worthwhile. It will be fun regardless.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I do want to go to the grocery store and get supplies to make the grandkids some more Chex Mix. Tagen told me they were running low on it and I have no more in the freezer. Trying to decide when I want to go to avoid the last minute Christmas shoppers. Maybe I will just do an on-line order and not go in the store. I need a birthday card for early January but that can wait a couple of days if it means avoiding lots of shoppers.

I have been off my eating plan for almost a month again. I decided to give myself some grace and not push myself until after the holidays. It has been a rough couple of weeks for myself with my restlessness and body memories. Sometimes when I try to push through something and do too much, it doesn’t go easy or well for me. Offering myself some grace and compassion can help a difficult time feel a bit easier. I will get back on the wagon when the time is right.

I still have the pit in my stomach and a faint bit of restlessness but it is getting better. Tonight’s ceremony will help ground me and settle things. As soon as Christmas passes and the 29th is over, I’m sure I will be back on track. So grateful I figured out what was behind my intense feelings.

I was looking for a Winter Solstice reading today to use for our ceremony tonight and found several I like. One said that it is wise to clean your house and personal space during the Winter Solstice time. It helps to reset the energy in your space and allow new things to flow in. Maybe that is why I have felt the inner urge to clean this week. It does feel fresh to have a really clean house that has been decluttered.

Grateful Michelle got some relief from her pain, grateful the main part of my house is cleaned, and grateful for the rain falling on the prairie today.

The end of this month is moving like molasses for me. It feels like we had our family Christmas about a month ago. Why isn’t it January already?

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Got up before 7:00 and fiddled around for a bit. Went back to bed around 9:30 and found a couple more hours of sleep. Hard to feel rested though when sleep is hard to find.

Have had trouble finding motivation to do much today. I have gotten about half of the kitchen detailed cleaned. Hoping I can get the other half done yet tonight. What I have gotten done looks good. I want the rest of the kitchen to look that good too.

I am going to do a Final Wishes Workshop on January 13 at 2:00 at my house. It will last about two hours. I will take you through the steps to complete the Five Wishes workbook and give you material to take home so you can write out your final wishes. We may or may not get to the point of completion depending on how quick of a decision maker you are. These things are important and it is more important to get them right for you than to rush through them. Cost is $25. Bring a friend or family member with you. Let me know if you can come so I can make sure to have enough supplies ready.

Feels good to get something on the calendar for next year and get My Hand in Yours started. Hoping to do a monthly workshop of some sort all year. I want to do my part in helping remove some of the fear around death and make death a topic that we can easily talk about. There is so much baggage around the topic of death and most people are terrified to even think of their own death.

The girls gave me 11 egg today. They like this warmer day although the wind is blowing and it doesn’t feel like it is in the mid 50’s. The clouds are rolling in and we have a good chance of getting some rain overnight and into tomorrow. I’ll take every drop we can get. Would be nice if it would rain all night and all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow night a small group of us are gathering to celebrate the Winter Solstice. I always look forward to our sacred ceremony and sharing time. The world would be a much better place for all if everyone had a safe space to share their inner feelings, thoughts and insecurities. We discover we are all more alike than we are different..

Kathy and I are going to Wichita Friday to go to the Spirit Fair. That will be a fun day out. We will probably eat out for lunch that day. Other than that, I have nothing else on my calendar until after Christmas. I will have a couple of quiet days at home through the Christmas weekend. Hope to get lots more cleaning done and start the New Year with a very clean house. Maybe next year I can keep it cleaner than I did this year.

Not feeling so restless today after discovering what it had to tell me. Still have a pit in my stomach that wants to hang around but I’m pretty sure that is body memory from last year’s chaos. It should go away by year’s end.

This is one of those days where I get overwhelmed by too much empty space on my calendar. I feel like I am wasting my life doing nothing. Cleaning is nice but seems rather pointless to keep repeating myself. And this too shall pass……

Grateful I managed to get a workshop on the calendar for net year, grateful for the 11 eggs the girls gave me today, and grateful to know that this too shall pass.

Sitting in an almost detail cleaned living room. Taking a break and then I will finish up the rest of it. Feels so good to have this room and the dining room clean. Kitchen is up for tomorrow.

Finally figured out what my restlessness is from. My divorce from Jim was official December 29 last year. A year ago we were in the final negotiations of the divorce and a date was being set for him to come clean out the rest of his stuff. My body seems to be remembering that time and how difficult it was for me. I am allowing these feelings to surface and be heard and to leave. Once I figured it out, they started to calm down. Can’t say it is all gone and probably won’t be until after the 29th but they are certainly easier to deal with knowing what they are.

I think another reason for my restlessness is that seven years ago today, my son-in-law Chris died. I will never forget the phone call from Nicole telling me what had happened. We had Christmas the day before and Chris seemed perfectly fine. Little did we know that a day later he would be dead. The days following were some of the most difficult days of our lives for my family. So grateful we were all able to process it, each in our own way. I don’t think the journey through it is ever over, but we all have found ways to integrate it into our beingness. Every time I see a rainbow, I think of Chris and am reminded he is still a part of our lives and is with us always.

When a loved one dies, the surviving family members have to make a decision at some point to continue living. Allowing joy back in after such tremendous grief is a huge challenge. It is one of the hardest decisions a grieving person ever has to make and it can only be made when the time is right. There is no timeline and each has to find their own way of choosing life and joy again. Sometimes it drips in drip by drip until you can step into life and begin to live fully again.

His death is the guiding force behind my interest in becoming a death doula and my desire to help others make their final wishes known to their loved ones. It is so helpful when a tragedy hits, to know what the person wanted as their last wishes. If I can make a difficult time easier for even one family, my mission will be worth it. If you haven’t made your final wishes and decisions and need help doing so, please reach out. I would love to hold your hand during that process and help you find a way that feels right for you to get your final wishes documented.

Christmas is a challenging time for me. I wasn’t a big fan of it before these things happened around Christmas time and these two major life changing events just added to my complicated feelings around Christmas. I am ever so grateful each year when the New Year’s rolls around and the holidays are over. I know I am not the only one with complicated feelings about Christmas. Reach out if you need some extra support and understanding. I hear you loud and clear and totally get it!

It is 50 out today but it is a touch windy and feels colder than that. It is to warm up to 60 by the weekend. We also have a chance for some rain this week. Crossing my fingers and toes that happens. We are still very dry and need every drop that can find us. The good news is it will come as rain and not ice or snow as it is so warm.

Thursday evening I will be celebrating Winter Solstice with a small group of friends. Friday Kathy and I are going to Wichita to attend the Winter Solstice Spirit Fair at the Cotillion. No plans for the weekend. It will be a quiet Christmas Day on the prairie. I’ll probably make a crock pot of soup and eat on it while I watch the Chiefs football game. If anyone is alone that day, come over and join me.

So grateful I figured out what the restlessness was from. I always feel a bit foolish when it takes me so long to figure it out. I know my body holds memories of major events and serves as a reminder to me of them. Not sure why it took me so long to remember that this time but grateful I did when I did. Once I can figure out what my body is trying to tell me, the feelings can be heard, acknowledged and then they leave.

Grateful for the two rooms that are detailed cleaned, grateful to have figured out the message from my restlessness, and grateful for Chris’s life and the love he shared with my family and the way he still is a part of our family.

Woke up at 4:00 this morning after going to bed after midnight. Finally got up and stayed up until 8:00 and then took a nap. Not feeling very rested today.

Went to Emporia this morning. I took the car through the car wash and then went to the Chiropractor. He doesn’t do appointments so you wait your turn. I got lucky and was the next one in line when I went in. Stopped at Walmart and checked on a prescription that my chart said was ready to pickup but it wasn’t. Got a bag of ice and then drove around and picked up my on-line grocery order. Stopped and got an iced tea from McDonald’s and then came home.

Got everything unloaded and put away. I didn’t need many groceries today so it was a light load day. When Tagen was here Sunday he noticed I didn’t have any snacks around anymore. I happened to have one more bag of Chex Mix in the freezer so dug that out and he munched on that all afternoon and then took it home with him.

Took the chickens some more straw. They had packed down what we had put in there yesterday. I’ll see tomorrow after they pack down this layer if they need more added or not. They gave me a dozen eggs today which is good for them right now. Somedays I am only getting 8.

Deep cleaned the dining room today. Washed all the woodwork, cleaned the light fixtures and did the floors. I am going to try to do one room a day for a bit and see how that works for me. I get overwhelmed thinking about cleaning the whole house and end up doing nothing. I’m working on making up a daily list of things I need to do so I get a bit more structure in my day. I forget what needs to be done unless I write it down or else get so overwhelmed thinking about everything that needs done that I can’t do anything. Maybe this will help.

If I would do one room a day I can get the whole house deep cleaned each month. Some things have to be done more often but once a room gets deep cleaned I know the dirt is only surface deep and doesn’t take long to clean. When I can’t remember when I last deep cleaned a room, it is hard to cheat and only do the surface stuff. My perfectionist tendencies come out and if I can’t do a job completely, it is easy for me to say screw it and not do it at all.

It is almost time to start pulling records out and to get ready to start preparing my income tax information. I like to get them done by February 1 and get them to the account so they have them to get to when they can. They have corporate tax records that have early February and Mach deadlines that they take care of first so they usually can’t get to them until late February or even early March. I would rather they have them and not be able to do them instead of waiting for me to bring them in.

I asked Tagen yesterday if he wanted to bring Ellexia out Wednesday and help me take care of Cody. He said he had school. I texted Jason and Melissa today and sure enough, Cody has school so I won’t get to play with him Wednesday. Maybe one day the following week he will get to come play. That frees up Wednesday for me. Not sure I have anything to do with the extra time but maybe I can get the kitchen deep cleaned that day. The kitchen takes the longest to do as I need to wipe down all the cabinets. I have lots of cabinets so that takes a long time.

The restlessness I have been feeling lately is slowly fading away. Cleaning a room today helped greatly. I have been sitting too much lately and I think my body was trying to tell me to move more. I’ll see if my new schedule helps. Still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the empty space time ahead for me. Hard for me to find balance sometimes and be OK with lots of empty space vs being productive and busy. Too much of either way is not comfortable for me.

Grateful one room is cleaned, grateful my body tells me what it needs, and grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie.

The chickens have fresh linens. Tagen came out for lunch and then at half time of the Chiefs game we went down and cleaned out the chicken coop. It was thick and smelly today but it was a perfect day to get it cleaned out. The girls will have fun rearranging the new straw the next day or two. I’ll need to add some more straw tomorrow once they packed what we put in today.

I fixed Tagen chicken strips and macaroni and cheese for lunch. I think I fixed nine strips and Tagen ate seven of them plus three big helpings of Mac and cheese. He had dessert after we cleaned out the chicken coop.

It has been fun having Tagen out here today. We are enjoying watching the Chiefs game. It looks like the Chiefs might win today so that makes the game more fun to watch.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to pick up some groceries and go to the Chiropractor. Trying to think if there is anything I need to take care of while I am in Emporia. I’m grateful I don’t have any last minute Christmas shopping to take care of.

Hard to remember it is the middle of December with the weather we have today. Feels more like a spring day. I had to take off my jacket while I was helping clean out the chicken coop. It reached the mid 50’s today. Wish the whole winter could be like today.

Still have a bit of restlessness in my background. Unusual that it is lasting this long. It is quieter than it was so maybe it is starting to fade. All I can do is allow it to be what it is and ride it out. Getting out and moving my body helped a bit. Maybe the restlessness is trying to tell me to move my body more.

Grateful the chickens have fresh linens today, grateful for this time with Tagen today, and grateful for this picture perfect mid December day.

I declared today a PJ day and decided to stay in my PJ’s all day. I put on a pair of sweat pants and then pulled on a sweatshirt over my PJ’s so I would stay warm. Hope no one drops by today as I look a little mismatched and not put together today. I don’t think I have even brushed my hair today yet.

The wind was a blowing this morning and it was cold and cloudy out. The sun has come out this afternoon but it is still windy and cold. Good day to stay inside by the fireplace. I do have to venture down to do the chickens later but hopefully they won’t laugh at my outfit for the day.

Tagen is coming out for lunch tomorrow and then is going to clean out the chicken coop for me. It is to be in the mid 50’s tomorrow and be sunny so should be a good day to get that done. When I asked him what he wanted for lunch, he said chicken strips sounded good. The next text I got from him said and macaroni and cheese of course! He must have read my mind because that was what I had thought I would fix. That kid does like his chicken strips and macaroni and cheese. He is easy to fix lunch for.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I went to bed fairly early and slept for three hours but then was awake for several hours before I went back to bed and slept another two or three hours. I never feel rested when I have nights like that. Grateful I got the second sleep but wish I could have slept in longer this morning.

I need to run to Walmart for a few groceries and to pick up a prescription that is ready but thinking I will wait and go Monday. That way I can avoid the crowd this weekend and go to the Chiropractor while I am in town Monday. I think I have everything I need to fix Tagen lunch tomorrow without going shopping today.

Made a crockpot of White Chicken Chili for lunch today. It was really good. I have too much leftover though. Maybe Tagen will take some home with him tomorrow. It was a good day to fix soup.

We are forecast to have four days in a row towards the end of the week that the temperature day and night is to be over 40. Too bad it is a holiday weekend coming up and the Efis guy probably won’t come. Crossing my fingers this will happen again in January and he can come get that project started.

Still sitting with some restlessness. I think it is from too much empty space and the after Christmas let down. I keep exploring things to put on my calendar to give myself a bit of structure but haven’t settled on the right thing yet. I have some ideas of some classes I would like to offer but haven’t settled on which direction to go yet. When the timing is right, the right thing will appear.

I read through a decluttering page on Facebook today. It is so interesting to me how people deal with clutter and how creative they are avoiding dealing with it. So very grateful I started that journey 20 years ago and continue to work on stopping the incoming and sending things out that no longer serve. My mind doesn’t function well when I have cluttered spaces. The hardest part of that journey was the beginning steps. It sure gets easier the longer one manages it.

I was actually looking for a daily/weekly/monthly routine page. I need to put some structure into my life around housecleaning and know there are pages out there that lay out a whole house over the course of a month and suggest places to clean daily. I like checking things off a list and thought that might be beneficial to me. Haven’t found what I am looking for yet but will keep looking.

Grateful Tagen is coming tomorrow to clean out the chicken coop, grateful for what sleep I did get last night, and grateful for the White Chicken Chili I made for lunch today.

Rainy day on the prairie. We seem to get weather about 24 – 48 hours after my cousin Pam gets it in Santa Fe. She got snow a day or two ago but we got rain. Almost an inch so far and it is still raining. Yay!

It has been a lazy, rainy day for me. I stayed up too late last night watching a show. I slept in but woke up still feeling tired. After a couple hours awake, I gave in and went back to bed and slept for two more hours. Still feeling a bit tired but maybe if I get up and move around in a bit I will get some energy going.

Kathy went to town today and stopped and picked up my prescription for me. So grateful as that saved a trip to town for me. I hate going to town for only one thing and couldn’t think of anything else I needed.

Mark Davis from Davis Drain called me yesterday to let me know the plumbers and ditch diggers had gotten the sewer line fixed at my rental house in Cottonwood Falls. Mark went above and beyond and managed this project for me. I so appreciate him. The ditch digger hit the water line while digging the sewer line out and they had to repair that. Grateful for their service and the way they worked me in to get this job done. I’m sure my renter appreciates being able to flush again. Hopefully they fixed this problem and this fix will last a long time.

Got started on the tea towel embroidery work last night. I have two done and 19 to go. The pattern is cute and it is fun working them up. I hadn’t done any embroidery work for several years. I remember why I like it now.

Still need to go own to do the chickens this afternoon. The rain has let up for a bit so need to get down there before it starts raining again. I have two dozen eggs sold for Monday that I don’t have in the house yet. Lay girls! Lay!

No plans for the weekend other than cleaning house if the mood strikes. It is nice to stay in and avoid all the last minute Christmas shoppers and chaos that is out there this time of year. I will need to go to town Monday or Tuesday to pick up a few groceries and see my Chiropractor. Hopefully I can time the visit to the grocery store so the store isn’t too busy and I can get in and out quickly. Not in the people mood right now.

I think I am going to make some white chicken chili tomorrow. I am hungry for it and it will make enough to feed me for several days. I have some chicken tenders that need used up and that will fit the bill.

My old insurance agent called me today and offered to shop for new house insurance for me. She is a day late and a dollar short. I told her I had already found a different policy. I didn’t tell her I was going to pull the rental houses and car from her. I want to get the windows paid for before I tell her that.

Feeling a bit out of sorts and low energy today. Not sure why I am extra tired today but going to allow it to be what it is and this too shall pass. It felt luxurious to go back to bed around noon time and take a long winter’s nap. Somedays are like this for me. Best to honor it and rest.

I had to check my calendar twice to see if our family Christmas was one week or two weeks ago from tomorrow. It was only one week. It feels like it has been a month or more. I don’t have a good relationship with time these days. It is hard for me to know how long ago something happened. Weird how that happens. Guess when you are retired the calendar and time doesn’t hold much meaning. I do check my calendar daily just to make sure if I have committed to being someplace today. I rarely a remember what day of the week it is unless I have something scheduled. Sign of getting old? Maybe just out of touch?

Grateful for a day of rest, grateful for the rain falling on the prairie, and grateful for a quiet weekend ahead.

I am so lucky. I got to have another heart-to-heart lunch with a dear friend. Lunches like the one yesterday and today feed my soul.

Haven’t gotten much else done today. I had trouble sleeping last night and woke up feeling tired and a bit out of sorts. Lunch helped course correct me but still not feeling very motivated to do much. I do need to go down and take care of the chickens but may not even attempt to do anything else today. Maybe I will find some drive and motivation tomorrow to start cleaning my very dirty house.

I dug out my embroidery thread and brought the tea towels out of the bedroom and put them by my chair. Maybe today will be the day I get started on them. Once I get started I will get them done fairly quickly. For some reason, I am struggling to get them started.

I need to go to Walmart tomorrow and pick up a prescription. Can’t think of anything else I need to do while I am in town tomorrow. I hate to go in for only one thing. Maybe something will come to mind that I can take care of while I am in town tomorrow.

I have lots of empty space on my calendar for the coming weeks. Am giving some thought as to what I might fill some time doing. I don’t like doing things just to be busy so attempting to be intentional about how I go about filling this empty space. Sitting with a couple of options but nothing feels like it is time to proceed with yet. The right thing will surface – or not. Maybe I need some down time for a bit. We shall see how this plays out.

There is a Solstice Spirit Fair at the Cotiliion in Wichita next week Thursday through Saturday. Anyone interested in going? I find those are fun to spend some time at. The cost is $10 per person. It sounds like they have a good variety of vendors coming. Let me know if you would be interested in going. I would probably go on Friday or Saturday as I have something going on Thursday evening.

There was another breathtakingly beautiful sunrise this morning. I think the sunrises in late fall and winter are the best on the prairie. I love how they change minute to minute.

It was too cloudy to see much of the meteor shower last night. Maybe tonight there will be some but right now it is partly cloudy so not looking promising that we will have a clear view.

Feeling a bit restless again today. Wish I could figure out what it is trying to tell me. Sometimes when I have too much empty space I can get restless. I feel an old tape in my head telling me I need to be productive and do something with this free time. I have learned how to “be” and not “do” but can fall into old habits and patterns of not being comfortable with being.

Grateful for time with friends, grateful for empty space ahead, and grateful to live where I live so I can see and enjoy the beautiful sunrises.

Continue reading “Thursday, December 14, 2023”

Went to Council Grove today to meet a dear friend for lunch. I found the UPS drop off place in Council Grove and dropped off the stool test that Colonguard had sent me. Went to the grocery store and got some bananas and then met my friend for a long lunch.

Always a great time visiting with my soul sister. We can go deep with each other and share anything and everything. Lunches like this are good for my soul.

I’m lucky enough to get to do this again tomorrow with a different friend. I am going back to Council Grove tomorrow to meet someone else. Wow! I’m lucky to get to have two heart-to-heart conversations in the same week.

Came home feeling very restless. Not sure what that is from. I will allow it and see what it has to tell me. Sometimes it has a message for me and other times it is just restless energy that needs released.

I did chicken chores. Have more demand than eggs right now. The girls are only giving me between 8 – 14 eggs a day right now. They are on their winter slow down. I keep a running list of people that want eggs and fill the requests as the girls give me eggs. Lots of Christmas baking going on right now and people are using lots of eggs. Wish I could keep up with the demand.

Need to do some housecleaning this afternoon and move my body. Sometimes that helps move out the restless energy that is pent up inside.

I stopped in Strong City on the way home to see if the plumber and ditch digger has made it to my rental house in Cottonwood Falls yet. So far no, they are waiting for a utility company to come mark something before they can dig. Trusting it will get taken care of soon. It is no fun to have to live with a plugged sewer line. I’ll check again tomorrow to see if they are making any progress.

Have a bit of an upset tummy this afternoon. Trusting it will calm down soon. Not sure what it is from.

No plans for the weekend. I have some overdue housework that needs done so will spend the weekend cleaning. I get restless when my house gets dirty and it is reaching the point of no return right now. Time to get it cleaned up.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I am hosting a Solstice Celebration Thursday evening but other than that I have a free week ahead for myself. If anyone needs help getting ready for your Christmas celebrations, let me know and I would be happy to come help you out.

I ordered blinds for the main floor of the house. Sure hate to spend that much money on blinds but I really need some sort of window covering to block out some strong sunlight. They are to be in within two weeks if all goes well. Some orders have been delayed lately so the lady doesn’t promise a date anymore. They will be here when they are here.

Hoping the clouds part so we can watch the meteor shower that is peaking tonight and tomorrow night. I love watching them streak through the night sky. The moon is not going to be a problem tonight and the meteors will be easy to be seen if the clouds will part.

No plans for the weekend. Next week one day I am watching Cody for the day. That will keep me busy. Thursday next week is the Solstice Ceremony but other than that my week is pretty empty. Maybe I will get some long overdue housecleaning done. Maybe not!

Kathy got the mini trampoline put together for me. I wasn’t strong enough to pull the cords to hook it. She worked on it and figured out a way to get it done. I appreciate her help. So far I have just lightly bounced on it without my feet leaving the base. I hope to work up to spending more time each day on it. It is supposed to be good for your lymph system to get it moving. I need something to get me moving.

Sitting with lots of restlessness this afternoon along with a bit of an upset tummy. Not sure what it is trying to tell me. I will sit with it and allow it to be. Sometimes I can figure it out and sometimes I can’t. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for the time with my dear friend today, grateful for a safe trip to and from Council Grove, and grateful that this too shall pass….

The furnace repair guy came as scheduled and replaced some sort of motor in the furnace. Good to have that taken care of.

After he left, I texted Chad to see if he was at the McDonald’s in town. He was so I headed to town to drop off his Christmas treats. I also gave him Keith’s to deliver for me. I sat and visited with him for a bit. Found out the store had changed owners again a couple months ago. What is that saying – the only constant thing in this world is change.

Went to the Chiropractor after I left Chad. He did his thing on me. Not sure it is helping but I will stay with it for another month or so to give it a fair chance.

Mailed Gene’s Christmas box. I had to wait for a bit in line as the Christmas package mailing has begun. Feels so good to have all the treats out of the house and the temptation removed from the house.

Went through the car wash on my way to Walmart. I need to remember to call them and change to a lower level car wash. I can’t tell the difference between the high price one and the low price one. I don’t think any of them get my car really clean.

Went to Walmart and bought groceries the old fashioned way in the store. The store wasn’t too crowded so got in and out fairly quickly. I forgot to get some bananas as I had forgotten to put them on my list. Dang itanyways. May just deal without them. I don’t want to go back to town.

On the way home I drove into Cottonwood Falls to see if the guys are working on the plumbing issue there. They are not. Not sure when they will get to it. Hopefully the drains are still working for the renter and she can skate by until the guys can get there and get it fixed.

Came home and put everything away. Good to have my errands for the week taken care of. This afternoon I am going to work on cleaning house. I got my desk cleaned off this morning and took care of some pending issues that were sitting on it. There is lots of dust in the house again and the whole main level needs a good cleaning.

My Sirius radio wasn’t working in my car on the way home. I’ll have to go on-line and find out what the problem is. I remember getting charged for it recently but not sure when the last payment went through. Maybe I had a contract of some sort that ran out. However, it is working in the house through my Sonos system.

Got notice that my blog site renewal is coming due in January. Went to the site to see what was involved with that and didn’t understand what I am paying for. I think I am paying for more than I use now. I’ll have to call them and sort through that.

I also need to call my plumber and find out where they are with the booster pump. Not sure I am in the mood for phone calls today but if the mood strikes I have several to make.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. I’ve been up since 4:30 so may take a nap this afternoon. Feeling a bit out of sorts today but thinking it is probably because I am tired. I did fine in town today but got a little frustrated with traffic on the way home. It was one of those trips home that felt like it took an hour to get there.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for lunch in Council Grove. That will be a nice drive and a nice lunch. We haven’t seen each other for several months so will have lots to catch up on. If I think about it, I will stop at the grocery store in Council Grove and get some bananas.

Got notice that Amazon has issued my refund for the two items that were shipped incorrectly. They did that as soon as Nicole dropped the package off at the UPS store. They did put in fine print, that they may charge me again if things aren’t like I said they would be. Glad that mess got resolved and taken care of thanks to Nicole.

I ordered a rebound trampoline to start working out on. I am not strong enough to put it together. I’ll have to wait until someone comes over that is much stronger than I am. Wish they could have sent it already assembled to make it easy for this old lady.

Sitting with the idea of offering a class of some sorts for next year. I want to explore boundaries some more and think a class would be helpful for that. I also would like to explore co-dependency traits and ways to break those habits. Maybe the two are intertwined and could be one class. Time for me to put myself out there again and get some things going.

I would also like to start hosting some informal groups that would talk about death, final wishes, etc. There is so much fear around death and I would like to work to change that.

Grateful my errands for the week are taken care of, grateful the furnace motor got replaced, and grateful I can stay home the rest of the day in time-out.

The lady from Made in the Shade Blinds came this morning to measure and help me pick out roller shades for the windows. She was easy to work with and knew her stuff. She sent me a quote this afternoon. It was a bit less than I expected it might be. I will sit with it for a day or two and then decide what to do.

The guy from Davis Drain called me last night to let me know he had gone to the rental house to unclog the sewer drain. He had good news and bad news. He got the drain temporarily unplugged but when he put his camera down the pipe he discovered the pipe stopped. I have a completely broken sewer pipe.

When I asked him what do I do next, he said I needed to call a plumber and then someone with a backhoe as the pipe will need to be dug out. When I asked him who he recommended, he told me and then volunteered to call them first thing this morning for me.

Had he been with me, I would have hugged and kissed him. What a relief that he said he would talk to them and tell them what needed to be done. When I call those guys, they always ask questions that I have no idea how to answer.

He called me this morning to let me know he had gotten hold of the local plumber and backhoe guys and they were on the job. They got the utility people notified and the gas and other lines are marked for them already. They are to work on it this afternoon. I will drive in after I finish blogging and see what action is going on.

We have had trouble with this line before. They ran a camera down it before and told me it wasn’t connected to the city’s line correctly but they recommended not doing anything to it then. Guess it finally decided to stop working all together. I’m afraid we are going to have to cut into the street to fix the connection to the city line. Wonder what this little project will cost? Dang it anyways. I can’t seem to catch a break with house repairs lately.

I went to the post office in Strong City today and got a box to put Gene’s Christmas goodies in. I got it fixed up this afternoon and will drop it off at the post office in the morning. I need to go to Emporia tomorrow and will take Chad and Keith’s stuff to town with me and drop it off at McDonald’s. It will be good to get those three things out of the house and then I can officially say Christmas 2023 is over.

What a beautiful day on the prairie today. Bright blue skies with little to no wind all day. Can’t ask for a more perfect winter day. It got up to the mid 50’s today. Wish the whole winter would be like today.

Nicole let me know she dropped off the Amazon return package I needed taken to a UPS store. Grateful she was willing to do that for me. I trust Amazon will do the right thing and credit me for both items that I didn’t receive. It is hard to return something via UPS when you don’t have a close by UPS store.

Tomorrow the furnace guy is coming to replace some sort of motor connected with the furnace. I only know it is going to cost around $800. Guess that will be my Christmas present to myself this year. Yikes! I could think of several things I would rather have gotten myself.

Wednesday I am meeting a friend for lunch in Council Grove. She lives in Manhattan and that is a good half way spot to meet at. It will be good to spend a long lunch with a friend. Thursday I am going to lunch with another friend. Must be friend week for me. It is a special treat to get to spend time with my dear friends and I will enjoy both days.

My Colonguard kit came in today so will need to get that taken care of sometime this week and get it returned. Sure is easier doing that than getting a colonoscopy. My doctor had ordered the kit way back in August but insurance wouldn’t pay for it until December.

In August, my doctor had prescribed a $800 a month new drug to help me lower my cholesterol. When I found out the price I told the doctor I was not going to take it. I got notice from the insurance company that they will cover it for one month. I just found that out today. It took them five months to decide that. I told them thanks but no thanks. Don’t think one month of it will do any permanent good so why take it. Good thing it wasn’t an urgent prescription that I needed. I swear, modern medicine is not for the sick these days!

Got my kitchen cleaned up and now need to work on cleaning the rest of the house. There are little bits of insulation that blew in when the windows were taken out. I will get started on that clean up job this evening and hopefully will have the whole main level of the house cleaned by the weekend. I don’t have any guests coming over but it has reached the point it is giving me anxiety to see the little bits on the floor and furniture. Time to make it all go away.

Sitting in a good place this afternoon. Even with the news of the broken sewer pipe I was able to stay above the neutral level. I can’t always do that so taking that as a sign of personal growth.

Grateful to be able to meet with some dear friends this week, grateful for this absolutely beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful Nicole returned my package for me.

This has definitely been a rest and recovery day for me. Still feeling the love from yesterday but the after Christmas let down is creeping in. I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the empty space ahead for me on my calendar.

I have done two loads of dishes cleaning up the remnants of yesterday. As soon as my fudge making pan gets clean I will make a last batch of fudge and get three goodie bags made up for my brothers and then Christmas will be done. It will be good to get the last of the treats out of the house. I gave into temptation and had some chocolate covered pretzels. I will need to detox next week to get them out of my system.

One good thing about this year, I didn’t bother putting up a Christmas tree as I didn’t host any Christmas parties at my house. At least I don’t have to take that down. They are certainly more fun to put up than to take down. I didn’t put a tree up last year either and survived nicely without it. Wishing I hadn’t bought a new tree last year as I don’t think I will ever use it. We shall see.

Tagen is to come out one night this week after school and help me clean out the chicken coop. I bribed him with a dinner and some cash for coming out. I shall see if he shows up. If not, I will add some clean straw to the coop and call it good. The only problem is, the more straw I add, the harder the clean out becomes in the spring time.

Just got a text from my renter in Cottonwood Falls that the drains are backed up again. Wish I could find a permanent solution to them. This seems to happen at least once a year. Grateful for Davis Drain and their prompt service and efficiency.

I really like my new windows without the blinds in them. I can see outside so much better. I will need blinds or shades though as the light coming in gets pretty intense and it isn’t even summer time. The new windows are highly energy efficient and am hoping they will help save me money on my propane heating bills. I’m sure the blinds or shades will help too.

Not feeling like doing much today. It is good to take a day of rest and recovery. I will watch the Chiefs football game later this afternoon. I need to go find the tea towels and the embroidery thread and get those started. It would give my hands something to do. Maybe that would help calm the restlessness I am feeling today.

I reminded myself that what I am feeling is the in-between stage. I just finished a huge project yesterday with getting Christmas ready and I don’t have another project on the horizon. It puts me in the in-between stage and it can be uncomfortable for me. When I remember what it is, it helps ease my restlessness. Allowing myself to be with what is and allowing it to be enough. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for the feelings of love that remain in my heart from yesterday, grateful for remembering about the in-between feelings, and grateful for Davis Drain and their prompt and efficient service.

Christmas’s 2023 is over and done! What a wonderful day we had today celebrating Christmas together. There is nothing I love more than being with my family.

Craig and Nancy hosted us and served a wonderful lunch. We played lots of games that were great fun. The grandkids raked in the gifts and the adults did OK too. We also celebrated Ellexia’s 14th birthday. She loved the cake Traci Hale made. It had a cheerleading theme to it.

Unfortunately due to illness, Jason and his gang couldn’t come. We sure missed them today but understand they needed to stay home and get to feeling better. I brought their haul of presents home and dropped them off along with leftovers when I got back into Emporia.

I drove to Wichita today and stopped three times on the way home trying to fill my car up with gas. The first time I stopped at Benton and the card reader wasn’t working and I didn’t want to go inside. The second stop was at the Matfield Green Service Area. After I entered my zip code it asked if I wanted a receipt. I pushed the no button and it canceled the transaction. I tried again and pushed the yes button and the same thing happened. I stopped at a gas station on the east side of Emporia and the first pump I pulled up to was out of service. I drove around and this one worked. What is up with all that today? Didn’t know buying gas would be the hard part of the day.

Got home around 4:30 and got the car unloaded and then ran down to get the chicken chores done before I lost day light. They gave me 14 eggs today. Go girls!

Got rid of most of the Christmas treats. I need to make a batch of fudge in the morning and then can deliver treats to my two brothers in Lebo and get Gene’s box ready to mail Monday. I will throw in the rest of the other treats and get rid of them all. Then Christmas will officially be over for me for 2023.

This was one of the more fun Christmas celebrations we have had. The games add such fun to the day. Got some good pictures of the group eating a plate of whipped cream to get to a money reward on the plate. All were good sports and had fun finding their prize. We were able to laugh and have fun and enjoy each other today with no drama or fuss. What a delight it is to spend time with my kiddos and their families.

Feels so good to have Christmas over with for the year. It was one of the least stressful Christmas I have ever done. I got started early and didn’t have to rush through any of it. Doing it early in December helped too. I wasn’t burned out from all the Christmas excess that is everywhere these days. I can’t quite say I am fond of Christmas but if all Christmas’s can be like this one, I may become fond of it again.

Now I can turn my attention to preparing for Winter Solstice and the New Year. I have lots of empty space ahead for me and I will need to give some thought as to what I want to do with it. I have several people that I need to contact and schedule a time to go visit. I have put off going to see them and no longer have a reason to do that. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone and I need to take advantage of this empty space time and reconnect with some dear ones.

Nothing on my calendar tomorrow except for getting my brother’s treats ready for them. Monday the blind/shade lady is coming and Tuesday the furnace repair guy will be here. The rest of the week is free. I will need to go to town one day and get some groceries and go to the chiropractor but I will work that in when I am in the mood to go to town.

I’m tired tonight. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. Betting it will be an early to bed type of night for me tonight. It will be nice to get to sleep in next week. The last two weeks I have had to get up and be dressed by 8:00 in case the window guys showed up when they said they would. With no blinds I had no privacy in the bathroom to get showered and dressed.

Basking in the love from today. There is nothing better for my heart than to spend the day with my family.

Grateful for the time with the family, grateful Christmas 2023 is a wrap, and grateful for safe travels today.

It was a foggy start to the day. The window guys took a bit longer to get here than normal due to the fog. When I got up this morning, I couldn’t see the chicken coop as the fog was so thick.

Got the cheesecake baked this morning. I think it turned out OK – hard to tell how it will taste but it didn’t fall in the middle. It does have a crack in it but that is normal for mine.

I have New Year’s Cookies mixed and sitting in front of the fireplace rising. The oil is heating and waiting for the New Year’s Cookies to be ready. When I get done blogging, hopefully both will be ready for me to fry up the cookies. I may have to make a second batch for my brothers depending on how many disappear tomorrow.

The window guys got the final two doors replaced and are busy doing all the finish up work. They taped up the outside around all the windows and doors so it will be enclosed until the Efis guy comes and does the finish work. They are removing the rest of the plastic film that was on the windows as well as putting up all the screens and screen doors. They should be finished in an hour or so. They have been good about gathering up their trash as they go along.

The guy that took some windows yesterday came back today and got a door or two. The window guys took care of him and told me about it after he left. So grateful someone found a second purpose for some of the old stuff and kept it out of the dump.

I remembered this morning that I need to take leftover containers to the party tomorrow. I want the bigger containers the cookies are in back so needed smaller containers for the kids to take things home in. I was dreading having to go to town today and had decided I would stop in the morning on my way out of town. Kathy went to our friend’s house today and my friend sent home two packages of the exact container I needed. I hadn’t said anything to either of them. Now that is divine timing! Love when that happens.

I have to pick up the birthday cake at 10:00 in the morning and then will head to Wichita for the day. It will take me a hot minute or two to get everything loaded into the car before I can leave. I have a big pile of presents and goodies to take. It will be good to get all that out of the house.

Two weeks ago I had placed an order on-line to pick up at Walmart. The paper plates I had ordered were out of stock and they offered to ship them to me at no additional charge. I decided to try that and they said I would have them in two days. They came in today – two weeks after I ordered them. Good thing they weren’t urgent. Not impressed Walmart!

The KU exercise research program called me today to let me know that the Cardiologist and my general practitioner had both signed off to allow me to join their program. They scheduled three appointments for January that I have to drive to KC for. One is a mental assessment, one is a big blood draw, and one is an MRI of my brain. I wish they could have crammed it all into one day but that wasn’t going to work. At least they got two in one day. Trusting the weather will be OK and I will have smooth sailing both days. Still not sure when I will actually get to start the exercise program but keep working my way towards that goal.

They sent me a 13 page consent letter today that they will go over with me at one of my appointments. I get a Fitbit that I have to wear for the year of the program that I will then get to keep. I wear a smart watch as I have trouble finding my phone. Guess I will get to wear a watch on both wrists for a year.

Kathy and a friend are going to the Grand Canyon next year. Kathy invited me to go with them but I declined. Jim had taken me there twice and I am not ready to retrace my steps there yet. This has been a dream of Kathy’s for a long time and I am so grateful she gets to make that dream come true. Love seeing dreams come true!

Last night I was about ready to head to bed. My legs were getting restless and I needed to take a hot bath to try to calm them down. I got up to go do that and looked at the clock. It was only 6:35. Dang it anyways. I managed to stay up till 8:00 but then took my bath and went to bed. I slept most of the night. I was due for a good night’s sleep. I’m a bit tired today but that is normal for me after I get extra sleep at night.

Last night I read some old blogs that I had written during the time Jim and I were together. It amazes me how often I fell into the muck pond when I was with him. That should have been a huge clue to myself that something was wrong. I didn’t pick up on it then. I rarely fall into the muck pond these days and if I do, I don’t stay there long. I keep reminding myself of that so if I ever do start falling into it frequently in the future, I will stop and figure out what is wrong. Sometimes the obvious isn’t so obvious to me.

I’m getting excited about tomorrow. I love family days. Sure wish Jason and his gang could come but know it is better for all if they don’t. We don’t want what they have. I’m excited to see Ellexia’s face when I show her the birthday cake and we celebrate her turning 14. So very grateful to Craig and Nancy for allowing me to join their celebration.

Lots of free time ahead of me after tomorrow. I will need to clean house next week and get rid of the last of the new window debris that will linger after the guys leave. Maybe next week I can get those tea towels started. I kinda put off that project until Christmas was over. I will enjoy doing the embroidery work on the tea towels.

I still need to get Gene’s Christmas box fixed up and mailed to him and then get fudge, peanut brittle and New Year’s Cookies to Keith and Chad and then Christmas 2023 will be over. I love that we are doing Christmas early this year. Last year we didn’t get to do it until January and that made way too long of a Christmas season or me.

Grateful the window guys will finish up today (even though they will have to come back for one more day later), grateful the KU research program called and gave me appointments for January, and grateful Christmas is tomorrow.

I talked to Jason last night and found out his wife and her son are still down with the crud. I made some chicken noodle soup today and took to them. Maybe grandma’s soup will help them get over it. It was made with lots of extra love and care.

I took the soup in a little after noon today. I also took their Christmas presents and goodies. Included were some sugar cookies I made using the recipe from Jason’s dad’s mother. I asked Jason to take some to Jim. I’ve always said two of the best things to come out of that marriage was Jason and the sugar cookie recipe.

After I dropped all of that off at Jason’s house I met a friend at Radius and gave her some things left over from doing the Pioneer Bluffs mailing. She was with another friend of mine. It was nice to give and get two hugs from people I love and care about.

Came home to the noise and mess of the window guys. They think they will finish up tomorrow – they only have the patio doors and one other door to do tomorrow plus some screen doors, etc. Two tall windows were back ordered so they will have to come another time to do those. I’m grateful they are almost done. They have been pleasant to have around but I am getting tired of the noise and mess. Next week I will need to clean my upper floor to get rid of the construction remnants.

The wind is in a big hurry today. The house feels quieter and tighter with the new windows. I don’t hear the wind near as much as I used to. That is a good thing! I wonder if it will help decrease my propane usage.

The lady that is going to help me with shades/blinds is coming Monday. I trust her product is fairly affordable. I have a feeling I better be sitting down when I see her total though. I have lots of windows that need blinds/shades. So grateful a friend told me about this lady and I will get some expert advice as to what to put up. I am not knowledgeable about things like that.

It has reached almost 70 degrees today. Too bad the wind has been blowing at 30MPH plus most of the day. Our highest gust so far has been 37.8 MPH. I had warned the window guys the wind can blow hard on this hill. I’m grateful they listened and planned inside work for most of the day today.

The Efis guy could have worked today but by Saturday it is going to drop below 40 again. The Efis guy needs three or four days in a row of temperatures above 40 day and night before he can come. Crossing my fingers that will happen yet this winter and the Efis can get repaired before spring.

I need to check with the insurance adjuster and make sure I can get an extension of their coverage as I am not sure I can get it all done within their required six months from date of claim. Painting the deck and the Efis repair are both weather sensitive and not sure when either can be done. The guttering can not be replaced until the Efis project is done. Betting this repair drags out to spring at least.

A guy came today and picked out some of the old windows to take home with him. Not sure what he is going to do with them but grateful someone took some. That will be a few less windows going to the dump. Some of the windows still have some good life in them and I am grateful someone got some. I deleted the post on Facebook as it was resulting in too any questions and no action. The window guys had to put the windows in their trailer as they were afraid they would blow over in this wind today and do damage to the house. They were very helpful when the guy came to look at them and helped him find what he was interested in and loaded them on his pickup for him.

Both Kathy and I had trouble sleeping last night due to our legs and feet hurting. We both can tell there is a major weather pattern shift coming in. I swear I could have chopped my feet off last night if I could have figured out how to do that. They were screaming at me most of the night. Neither one of us slept much last night.

Tomorrow I will make my first batch of New Year’s Cookies and bake a cheesecake. Then I think I will be ready for Christmas on Saturday. It will be good to get rid of all the Christmas goodies. I got very tempted to have some this morning but remembered how bad my head would hurt if I ate sugar and managed to eat a banana instead. I am so grateful Christmas is almost over for me this year.

My propane company came and filled my propane tank today. I have two more prepaid fills for the winter. Man! It is expensive to heat this house. I hope the new windows help reduce the cost a bit.

I will have lots of empty space on my calendar after this weekend. Not sure how I want to fill it. Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I have nothing on my calendar for days and days. I’m sure the right thing will present itself when I need it to. I do feel better about myself when I am somewhat productive.

Grateful the window guys are almost done, grateful some old windows found a second life, and grateful for the warm temperature today.

Went to Emporia this morning to escape the sound of the window guys removing the windows from the living room. This is the first day the sound got to me. I had to move my favorite chair from the corner of the room so felt displaced.

My first stop was at the insurance agent’s office. His secretary answered all my questions and I agreed to go with their quote. They will change the dates to align with when my other policy is being canceled. I will need to go in early that week and sign the application and pay the bills. They made that easy.

I then went to the bank and deposited the rent checks that the ATM machine wouldn’t accept last Friday. Good to have that taken care of.

I stopped at Bluestem and got six bags of chicken feed and two bags of Dog Chow. I love how easy they make it and bring the stuff to the car and load it. It is easy to unload but I have trouble loading it. Man! Both chicken feed and dog chow had gone up in price again. I think I need to find a cheaper hobby.

Stopped at the liquor store and got the bourbon to make bourbon slush. Nicole had suggested a brand for me as I don’t know the first thing about buying bourbon. Last year I had some left over in the bottle and the kids asked me why I hadn’t just dumped the whole bottle in. They managed to drink the leftovers for me by adding it to their cups of bourbon slush.

Stopped at Walmart and picked up a prescription that was ready and the juice I needed to make the slush. Walmart doesn’t sell frozen lemonade concentrate anymore – at least not in the winter time. I didn’t want to go to other stores just for that so got some lemons to squeeze instead.

Came home and made the bourbon slush. I dumped the whole bottle of bourbon in it this year as I am not hosting Christmas and didn’t want to travel with an open bottle. Trusting I guessed right on the lemon substitute and it will taste OK. Maybe with the extra bourbon in it, no one will notice or care!

I laid down and took a long winter’s nap this afternoon. I needed to escape from the sawing and pounding noise and a nap did the trick. By the time I woke up, the window guys were gone. They still have three doors to put in and then two more of the tall windows. The two tall windows weren’t with the other windows so they will have to come another time to do those. There is a chance they can get finished tomorrow but may have to come back Friday. Before they leave for the last time, I need to remember to have them take the plastic off the backside of the windows that have screens. I’m not sure how to remove the screens so I can remove the plastic film on the windows.

The window guys took a coffee break and I gave them some Christmas cookies to eat with their coffee. They said they enjoyed them.

Tomorrow I have to go back in to Emporia to meet a friend and deliver something to her. I don’t think I have anything else I have to do in town as I took care of other things today. I’ll go over my list for Saturday one more time tonight so I can stop and get something if needed tomorrow.

Friday I need to bake a cheesecake and make New Year’s Cookies and then I will be ready for Saturday. I have to stop in Emporia Saturday morning and pick up a fancy birthday cake for Ellexia I am having made. She reminded me last night that her birthday is next week. The cake will be a surprise for her Saturday.

Michelle brought Tagen, Ellexia and Lily out for spaghetti and meatballs last night. When they were done eating I fixed up small bowls of frosting and the four of them knocked out frosting all the sugar cookies in short order. I so appreciated their help. I didn’t even have many sprinkles to sweep up when they were done. They all acted like they were having fun frosting. I am always amazed at how much the kiddos can eat! I didn’t have much spaghetti and meatball leftovers to send home with them. The kiddos each asked to taste test their favorite Christmas treats. I sent home a small baggie with each of them full of their favorites.

The lady that is going to give me a shade/blind quote is coming Monday. She will measure all the windows and work up a quote. She told me she will bring samples with her as I don’t know the first thing about picking out blinds. I don’t know what is available and what style I want. I told her I was interested in conserving energy as well as needing black out shades/blinds for the two bedrooms. Beyond that, I have no clue.

Tuesday the heating guy is coming to install the new motor for the furnace. It will be good to get that crossed off my pending list. Hoping the booster pump will get crossed off soon too.

I put a notice on a local Facebook site about giving away the old windows and doors. The window guys are going to take them to the dump. I forgot I don’t like doing that as I get question after question about them. They are free – if you want them take them. If you have a question, come look at them. I’m not going to work to make it easy for you to get something for free. So far, no one that asked a question has come to get them. Maybe this little experience will help remind me why I don’t bother with it.

The chickens only gave me 10 eggs today. The slackers! Sure wish they would get back to giving me 20 plus a day. It is much more fun to gather eggs when I get a full basket.

So grateful Christmas will be over in three days. I am looking forward to a long afternoon with the kiddos though. That is the best part of Christmas for me – getting to spend time with them all together. I will only have to put together the treats for my three brothers after Saturday and then Christmas 2023 is done for me. It will make the rest of December much more enjoyable for me.

Sent a note to the Efis guy to let him know that the windows are all but done. He sent me back a note that if I am willing to allow him to keep the scaffolding up for periods of time he may be able to get the project done this winter. He said if he can get three or four days in a row with temperatures above 40 he could do it a section at a time. That would be wonderful if he could get that job done this winter. We shall see what Mother Nature does and if we can catch a break or two or three in temperatures this winter.

Sitting in a good head space today. It felt good to get my errands taken care of in Emporia today and to get a long winter’s nap today. I’m so grateful the window guys are almost done and the noise and mess will be over soon. One more big project to cross off my pending list.

Grateful the kiddos and Michelle came out for dinner last night and then frosted the sugar cookies, grateful the insurance got taken care of and was affordable, and grateful the bourbon slush is made and freezing.

I got the peppernuts made this morning. I only did a single batch as I can’t remember if anyone likes them or not. Kathy does but she can only eat so many! They are fun to eat and very tempting for me to try but I don’t want the headache that would come with a taste of them due to the sugar in them.

I had forgotten to get the things to make bourbon slush. I checked with the kids and they do want some this year so I added what I need to my next trip to town list.

The window guy found a rubber fishing lure in the dining room yesterday and set it on the fireplace. I found it last night. At first it looked like some sort of bug and it scared me but upon closer look I realized it was a rubber fishing lure. Wonder where it came from? I thought it was the window guys but they said they had found it in the house. Now how in the world did it get in my dining room? Curious minds want to know!

The guys have taken out and replaced the five windows in the dining room so far today. When they get that done they are doing the door in the dining room. The house got a bit cold while they had the old window out and before they could get the new ones put in place. It is fun to watch them work. They are a father/son team and work well together.

The window guys were commenting on the wind today. It is only in the low 20’s and I told them we barely consider this a windy day out here on the prairie. I told them to wait until Thursday when the wind is really going to blow. I think they are doing the big windows in the living room tomorrow so they can get those done before the wind hits on Thursday. Once they get those in they only have a couple of doors to put in and they will be done. Hoping they will finish up Friday.

Last night I was taking off the plastic coating on the bathroom windows. My hair started feeling funny and I finally realized the static electricity from the plastic was making my hair stand on end. It freaked me out for a hot minute.

The kiddos and Michelle are coming out for dinner tonight and then they are going to help me frost the sugar cookies. I got the sugar cookies made last night as I didn’t want to be rolling out cookies while the windows were being replaced. It will be good to get those frosted and that job done. The kids will make that a fun job tonight. I am fixing spaghetti and meat balls and garlic bread. It is one of their favorite meals so I know they will eat tonight.

Friday I will make a batch of New Year’s Cookies and bake a cheesecake and then I will be ready for Saturday. I will get the bourbon slush made up whenever I get the stuff from it from town. It has been fun making all the kids favorite treats but it will be good to get them all out of the house. I have managed to stay out of all of them so far but I never know when I will get tired and temptation will overcome me.

Jason has some sick ones in his house so he may not get to come Saturday. That would be sad if he can’t come but we don’t want whatever they have. Seems like this is the time of year for respiratory illnesses. Crossing my fingers they will be able to come and everyone else will remain healthy.

The heating company is coming next week to install the new motor in the furnace. It will be good to get that project crossed off my pending list. I need to check with the plumber and see what they are doing about the booster pump replacement.

I got the insurance quotes and overall it is better than I expected. The house insurance went up but not near as much as I had feared. The rental property’s that I had quoted went up too but they adjusted the market value of the properties to reflect current value and I had them insured at the price I paid for them. I have a couple other rental properties that are insured with a different company and I will switch them when they are due next year. The car insurance was cheaper. I will go in and talk to them sometime this week and get those policies finalized. I am so grateful I found insurance that I could afford after getting canceled by my current provider.

This week has been a productive week for me. I feel like a lot of loose ends are getting completed. It feels good to have almost all the treats made for Christmas and it feels even better to know that Christmas will be over Saturday. Bring on Spring!

Sitting in a good headspace today. I have better days when I can be productive and cross things off my list. I have managed to roll with the window guys and not get frustrated over the mess and noise they make. They are good about cleaning up after themselves but the house will need completely cleaned when they are done. Lots of dust blew in while the windows were missing for a bit.

Grateful the Christmas treat list is almost complete, grateful the insurance quote came back affordable, and grateful the kiddos are coming out tonight for dinner and to frost the sugar cookies.

The window guys showed up a little before 9:00 this morning. They already have the three windows in the master bathroom in and trimmed and one window in the living room almost done. Not sure what windows they are going to do next. I warned them that the forecast is showing wind for Thursday. They thought today was windy! They are in for a surprise!

I went to Cottonwood Falls around 11:00 this morning. I managed to get the cardboard put in the almost full recycling trailer. Grateful it all fit.

I went to the post office to drop off the bulk mail tubs. There was no line at the post office and I drove around back and the lady brought out a cart for me to load the tubs on. I drove back around to the front to wait for her to process the mailing so I could get a receipt for Pioneer Bluffs. It took her over 30 minutes to enter the information. At one point she said the check I gave her was the wrong amount. I told her I would make up the difference. She went to do something to enter that and figured out the check was correct and I didn’t owe any more. This had happened last time. She said it was the computer not calculating things correctly. I wonder? There was quite a line behind me by the time she was done. Several had walked out and decided to come back another time and day. Grateful that project got done.

I went to Emporia and went to the Chiropractor for another adjustment. Not sure this is working yet but I will stick with it for a month and see if things improve. I hadn’t been adjusted for a long time and thinking my body doesn’t remember how to align properly. I have had more pain this last week than I did before I went in. Trusting that is part of the process.

I stopped at the busy car wash and got my car washed. I almost didn’t recognize my car when I came out of Walmart with my groceries. Nice to have it cleaned again. The county put some additional gravel down on V Rd this morning so hoping my car will stay a bit cleaner. Before they added some gravel, V Rd had turned into a muddy dirt road.

Picked up the groceries I needed at Walmart. I didn’t know they quit selling six packs of pop in cans. I need three more cans for the game we are doing Saturday. I don’t drink pop so didn’t want to buy another 12 pack. Guess I will have to find a pop machine and do it that way – if I can find one that has cans in it. Most now have plastic bottles. Man! The simple things in life can trip me up.

I tried to deposit a couple of checks at the ATM machine but for some reason the ATM wasn’t accepting deposits today. I didn’t want to drive back downtown where that bank is so will go back another day. I needed to stop and get some chicken feed and dog food but I was fried and came home. I will go back Wednesday and finish up my errands.

I also need to go talk to the insurance agent about the quote they put together. They mailed me the quote and I haven’t gotten it yet so will wait for that to arrive and then go in and have them go over it with me. I’m anxious to see how much their quote is. If it is reasonable, I will go with them. If not, I have another agent to call so I can get a second quote.

Ellexia and Tagen are coming out tomorrow night for dinner. My bribe offer to them was dinner in exchange for help frosting sugar cookies. I’m grateful they agreed to come out and help me. It will make that project much more fun. I will bake the cookies tomorrow so they will be ready to frost after dinner tomorrow night. Their mom is going to come too so with four of us frosting it won’t take long. It has been a Christmas tradition that the kiddos help me frost and sprinkle the cookies. With Covid we haven’t been able to do that for several years. It will be fun to have them join me again this year.

I got a lemon today at the grocery store so plan on making some Peppernuts. I can’t remember who in my family likes them. I will only make one batch so I won’t have too many in case no one else likes them. Kathy likes them but doesn’t like the temptation of so many to eat.

I also picked up the oil so I can make New Year’s Cookies. I might get one batch made before Saturday so I can take them to Craig and Jason. I don’t think the girls like them. I will make another batch closer to New Year’s for my two brothers. They both enjoy them. My brothers also like fudge and peanut brittle. I may need to make another batch of each of those two – we will see what the kids want and if I have any leftovers.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. It is to warm up to the upper 40’s and reach the mid 50’s tomorrow and low 60’s by Wednesday. I wish the whole winter could be like this.

I sent a prescription refill to Walmart hoping that it would be ready to pick up while I was there today. I got the text on my way home that it was ready. When I go back to town later this week I will need to remember to stop and pick it up. Guess this week was meant to be a two-trip to town type of week.

Getting lots of loose ends tied up and completed this week. I managed to cross a few things off my to-do list today and will get several more crossed off after I go back to town Wednesday. It will be good to have a couple stay at home days this week so I can finish getting cookies and treats made for Saturday. Not many left to do so am in good shape.

Sitting with a quiet mind today. I did get a bit fried in town today. Sometimes I feel out of touch with reality like when I discovered they no longer sell six packs of pop. When did they stop? Oh well, life goes on and change is the one thing I can count on.

Grateful more windows are in today, grateful part of my to-do list got crossed off today, and grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie.

Woke up this morning after getting a good night’s sleep and felt like doing something for a change. I got a batch of fudge made successfully (I think). I put a chicken in the crock pot to roast. Felt good to get a few things done this morning.

I carried all the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter material to my car so it is ready to go to the post office in the morning. The clerk doesn’t like me getting there before 11:00 so plan on arriving a bit after that. It will feel good to turn those over to the post office.

I will have another load to take to recycling while I am in Cottonwood Falls in the morning. The mailing material comes in a lot of boxes that need to be recycled. I am reusing a couple of them to put my Christmas things in. The rest I will take and dump tomorrow.

Last night I got my kitchen cleaned. There were a couple of things I hadn’t taken the time to put away from our Thanksgiving feast and got those taken care of – a bit late but better than never – right? I had made quite a mess dipping the chocolate things and needed to get that mess cleaned up. I’m grateful I didn’t stop with that but went ahead and got the rest of the kitchen cleaned up.

Not much on my calendar this week. The window guys will be here all if not most of the week finishing up the window installation. It will be good to get that completed this week. The weather is to be good all week and in the 50’s and 60’s so they should be good to go. I’m grateful it won’t be so cold when they remove the windows. I am anxious to see how they do the big ones on the west side in the living room. Those will take them some time as will the three high windows that they will need a huge extension ladder to reach.

I’m going to go to Emporia either Monday afternoon or Tuesday afternoon. I need to go back to the Chiropractor and I have some errands to run in town. I need to pick up the last few things I need for Saturday and go to the bank to make a deposit. Ellexia got some mail so I need to get that to her.

I think I found someone to come measure and give me a quote for blinds for the new windows. Thanks Cyndi! It will be much easier to have an expert come to me and let them measure and show me their different products. It is hard to order something like that on-line. I will wait and have them come after all the windows are installed so they can get accurate measurements. Not sure what the time line is from order to delivery but will deal with whatever it is.

So far today I have eaten on plan for the first time in over a week. I fell off the wagon again and need to get refocused. I had some soup last week, which was OK, but I ate some crackers with it. Crackers are like a gate-way drug for me. Once I eat something that has flour in it, I start craving more flour products and am hungry all the time. It is hard for me to stop that cycle once it gets started. Hopefully today is the beginning of getting back on track. I set myself back four weeks by taking a week off. Oh well, there is no real time table that I was on and this really is the easy part – getting the weight off. Keeping it off is much harder. Crossing my fingers that I am back on track.

Kathy and I were talking this morning about how neither one of us can do moderation. We are all in or all out. None is easier for me than some. I don’t seem to be able to just do some. Once I cross that line, I want more and more and can never get satisfied. If I don’t do any, I am more satisfied. Weird I know but that is how we are wired. I think that is what they call addiction. Hi, my name is Kay and I am a food addict.

Chips and crackers seem to get me in trouble fast. I know this from the past but it didn’t stop me from going there again. Someday I will conquer this! Just not last week.

Sitting with a quiet mind today. I am caught up with things around here and have lots of empty space ahead. I feel good getting back on my eating plan. Now to get my ass moving and get started exercising. That is next on my self-care list of things to do and get started before year end. Maybe this will be the week.

Grateful the fudge turned out OK today, grateful the kitchen is deep cleaned, and grateful I am back on my eating plan.

I have a big pot of chocolate almond bark melting so I can dip the peanut butter balls, ritz crackers with peanut butter and pretzels. The peanut butter balls and ritz crackers are all ready. Just need the almond bark to finish melting down.

It has been a misty, foggy wet day on the prairie. I woke up to a winter wonderland this morning. The freezing fog had put a layer of ice on everything. It was beautiful and I was ever so grateful I didn’t have to go anywhere today. By the time I had to walk down to the chickens this afternoon the ice had melted and it was a muddy walk, but not a slick one.

As the sun is setting today the fog is increasing and the temperature is dropping again so am thinking we will wake up to another winter wonderland tomorrow. I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow either so I will sit in my chair and enjoy the beauty.

I noticed on Facebook last night that many around here were seeing the Northern lights. I went out but I was too late to see them. There was a slight red glow on the horizon but the main deal had faded by the time I went out. Dang it anyways!

The post office wouldn’t accept the bulk mailing today so will take it in Monday late morning. It will be good to get it off the dining room table.. I always feel like I got something done when I send the mailing off. It was nice to have lots of help for this one. It went together quickly with five of us working on it.

Hoping tomorrow will be sunny so I can make another batch of fudge and peanut brittle. It will be good to have my Christmas treats made and crossed off my to-do list. I’m still waiting on two more packages to arrive and then I think I am ready for next Saturday. I will make a cheesecake Friday but that will be easy and won’t take long.

I looked at ordering some shades for the two bedroom windows. Yikes they are expensive. I need to go to a store and look and what I am going to order. I can’t tell exactly what they will look like by looking at the on-line site. As much as they cost, I don’t want to order something I won’t like. I have lots of them to order as I will also need shades for the bathrooms, living room and dining room. I might need them for the patio doors in the office. Wish I could find someone that would come to the house to measure and show me samples so I knew what I was ordering was exactly what I want. The new windows don’t have the built-in shades like the ones I have up have. I never liked those shades as they were hard to get to go up and down and were always crooked which drove me crazy.

My chocolate is melted so best go get that job done.

Grateful the chocolate project is almost done. Grateful I got to stay home today and not have to get out on icy roads, and grateful for the beauty of the prairie this morning.

The newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs is ready to go to the post office Monday morning. Kathy, Sharon, Vickie and Jaque all came over and helped me get the job done this morning. We got started around 10:00 and were done by 2:00. We even took an hour and had some soup and corn bread followed by fudge and peanut brittle. I so appreciated their help. They made a job feel more like fun.

The window guys decided not to come today. The weather forecast was a bit iffy and they come down from Topeka. I’m glad they didn’t come today – it would not have been a fun day for them to be outside or to have a hole in the house that would let all the cold air in. There is a rather brisk, cold wind today. Next week is calling for temperatures in the upper 50’s and lower 60’s and will be a much better temperature range to work in.

I have a big pile of boxes that need to go to recycling Monday when I take the newsletters to the post office. I grabbed a couple of the boxes and put my Christmas things that I am taking to Craig’s house a week from tomorrow.

I brought up 12 eggs from the girls today. It was cold walking down there today. The girls were outside though but wisely staying out of the wind. I sold three dozen eggs today so it was good I got a dozen from the girls today. I may bake some cookies tomorrow and will need a few eggs for that.

Decided I better do my chocolate day either tomorrow or Sunday. I don’t think I want to be working on them while they are replacing windows in the dining room and living room next week. Who knows what might blow in and get on the candy. I don’t have anything on my calendar this weekend so I can get that project done.

Will still need to make another batch or two of fudge and peanut brittle and maybe some Christmas sugar cookies and then I will be done. When Christmas gets closer I will make some New Year’s Cookies and another batch of fudge and peanut brittle to take to my two brothers in Lebo. That is the only thing I give them for Christmas.

One day early next week I will need to go to Emporia and go see the Chiropractor again as well as deposit a check. I also need to stop and talk to the insurance agent and find how what their quote is for house insurance for next year. Other than that I don’t have anything on my calendar for next week. The window guys will be here all week finishing up their job. Kathy will be glad when they are done so she can park in the garage again. They are using her side of the garage as their work station and storage unit.

Friday I will need to bake a cheesecake and pack the car up for the trip to Wichita on Saturday. I will need to stop in Emporia on the way and pick up Ellexia’s birthday cake I ordered. Not sure if anyone else will be riding down with me or not.

I am hoping this week I can get the tea towels I stamped out and get started on those. I don’t have much else to do and that would give me something to do while the window guys are here. I’m a bit anxious to see how they do the big windows on the west side of the house and the three very high windows. I wouldn’t want to have to be on a tall ladder and repair woodwork trim around those windows.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed today looking at my blank calendar for the next couple of months. I need to find something to put on it. Too much empty space time is not good for my soul. Hard for me to find the right balance of free time versus scheduled time sometimes.

Grateful the newsletter got done so quickly today with all the good help that came, grateful for the fellowship we shared as we worked together today, and grateful it is going to warm up next week.

The window guys came around 9:00 this morning. They got the three windows in the guest bedroom, the window above the kitchen sink and the three in the master bedroom replaced today. They are cleaning up and then are heading out as the prairie is receiving a light rain. I doubt they will be back tomorrow as it is to rain/wintery mix most of the day tomorrow. Next week looks warmer and drier so they will be back then to finish up this project.

I like the looks of the new windows. I was concerned I had made the wrong choice but these will work nicely. I was a bit disappointed that the window above the kitchen sink isn’t a slider. I thought we had talked about that one being a slider. I like the look of the mini picture window but it sure would have been nice to be able to open it. Oh well, I can live with it the way it is. I couldn’t open the one that was there before so I’m not used to it being open anyways.

The guy is very courteous as is his son that works with him. I enjoy hearing their conversations. They both honor and respect the other and work well together. It sure will be nice when they get completely done.

I picked up the remaining supplies for the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter I am working on. I have a couple people coming to help tomorrow. We could use another couple sets of hands. We are going to start around 10:00 in the morning. I am fixing some soup for lunch and I am hoping we will be done by mid-afternoon. Come for part or all of the day. We always have lively conversation while we work and it makes the work go by quickly.

I made a batch of peanut brittle last night. I think it turned out OK. It was crunchy and broke up into pieces like it is supposed to. I’ll have to wait for another sunny day to make another batch of it as well as one or two more batches of fudge.

The temperature has begun dropping as the rain moved in. It is only lightly raining but I will take whatever moisture I can get. It is to rain most of the rest of the day and into tomorrow. As the temperature drops it may turn into a wintery mix. Trusting it won’t turn to sleet and ice. I don’t have anywhere to go this weekend so will stay home where it is nice and dry and warm.

The window guys are doing a good job of cleaning up behind themselves. I will have to clean the whole main floor when they get done but so far it isn’t as dusty as I thought it might get. That may change when they take the huge windows out of the west side of the house next week. That will create a big hole for the dirt and dust to blow in through. Maybe this rain will quiet the dust down and it won’t be bad.

Haven’t felt too motivated to do much today. I did get one set of the Newsletters stuffed and completed. This small set had to be treated a bit differently than the others and it was easier to get it done and out of the way before help arrives tomorrow. Hoping I will get a box or two stuffed tonight to give us a head start for tomorrow. There aren’t many pieces to this one so it will go fast.

Need to get brave and venture down and take care of the chickens. They haven’t come out of their coop much today. Usually when they stay inside most of the time, they eat more food than when they are outside part of the day. The slackers are cutting down how often they lay eggs but are eating more food.

Good day to curl up with a warm blanket, a hot cup of tea and read a good book. For some reason on rainy days like this one I feel small and a bit vulnerable. It is foggy out and the world feels small to me right now. Think I will sit with the cocoon feeling for the rest of the day and turn inward. Mother Nature is a wonderful teacher and seems to be inviting me to join her today and go deep inside.

Grateful the window project is underway, grateful for the moisture falling on the prairie, and grateful for this chance to turn inward.

The window guys showed up around 9:15. There are only two of them. So far they have put in two windows in the garage, although both windows still have some finishing work that needs done to them. They are working on replacing three in the guest bedroom now. I think that is all they will get done today. They have found some rot they have had to fix already and they haven’t gotten to the windows that have leaked badly.

I think they are coming back tomorrow but doubt that they will be here Friday as it is to rain most of the day. They will be around most of next week – if not all of the week and then some. I will have to clean the whole main floor when they are done. The snow has created lots of mud and although they are doing their best not to track in, it is happening. They make lots of noise and dust too.

I’m grateful this project is underway and will be done in a week or two. It feels like it has dragged on for a long time since the hail storm the middle of August.

I went to Cottonwood Falls this afternoon and dumped the recycling. The trailer was already half full but I had plenty of room to dump the six tubs I took. I’m grateful I didn’t fall on my ass as it was muddy and slick around the trailer.

Stopped at the post office and picked up the trays I need to do the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter tomorrow and Friday. I had to wait a bit as the lady was having computer issues and struggled to get the guy in front of me completed.

Then I went to Kansas Graphics and picked up what they had done. I will go tomorrow around noon and pick up the rest of the mailing material. I will also go to the Chamber office and pick up the glue sticks and other stuff I will need. One of the volunteers is going to Pioneer Bluffs in the morning and is going to bring the supplies I need to the Chamber office for me to pick up. I will work Thursday afternoon and most of Friday to get it done. It should be ready to be mailed by Monday at the latest and there is a chance I will get it done by Friday afternoon. If anyone wants to come help, I would love to have help either Thursday afternoon or anytime on Friday. I will fix some soup for lunch on Friday if you come then.

Only brought up 10 eggs from the girls. That is the least I have gotten since they started laying. Don’t blame them for having a little protest strike. I don’t like cold and wet weather either. Kathy took nine dozen to sell at her work today. That cleaned out my egg stash.

I worked getting the money for the Christmas games put in the little zip bags. I have the hardest time getting those damn little bags open. I am almost done with that little project. I have to take breaks as I can only manage to do a few at a time before I get too frustrated. Sometimes it is the simple things in life that trip me up.

Still haven’t gotten any more treats made but plan on making something when I get done blogging. I think I have decided to wait to do the chocolate things next week so they will be fresher for the 9th. I need to make at least one more batch of fudge if not two, and a batch or two of peanut brittle. It is sunny today so will get one or the other made yet today.

I am a bit sore from going to the Chiropractor yesterday. He warned me I might be. I haven’t had to use ice as it isn’t that sore. Hoping in a time or two with him this will stop happening and I will feel better. Had a really bad headache last night but it is better today.

I took a short nap today. I had woken up at 6:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t go to bed until after midnight so didn’t get much sleep. The nap helped take the rough edge off. I’m grateful I didn’t sleep all afternoon.

Hard to believe Thanksgiving was only a week ago. It feels like it has been a month or more. I keep wanting to type December instead of November. This last week of November seems to have lasted a long time.

Feeling a bit lost today for some reason. The winter is full of empty space for me and feels a bit overwhelming to me today. I need to find some project to work on and somethings to put on my calendar. Too much empty space is not mentally healthy for me. Once Christmas is over the 9th, I don’t have anything else to work on.

Grateful the window replacement project is underway, grateful for naps, and grateful the snow is melting today.

Busy day in Emporia today. I went to the bank and got the denominations in cash that I need for the Christmas games. Stopped at Bobby D’s for lunch. It was good as usual.

I went to the new Chiropractor in Emporia, Joel Cundiff. He has a first time client special for $29 which included the adjustments he did on me today. He has a monthly fee of $59 and you get four adjustments throughout the month for that fee. He doesn’t do appointments except for new patients. You come in during his normal office hours and he takes you in order of first come, first serve.

I signed up for a month of visits and will then decide if I want to continue or not. I liked his approach today and he seemed to find my sensitive spots quickly. I trust he will be able to get me some relief from my constant headaches.

After that visit I got my car washed. Not sure it did much good as V Rd is one big mud pit but the car was clean for a hot minute today while I was in town.

I went into Walmart and picked up the last three Christmas gifts I needed and a few other things I forgot to put on my on-line order. By the time I checked out, my pick-up order was ready to be picked up. I did that and then came home. I forgot I had loaded my car with recycling material and the whole back of my car was full. Luckily I didn’t get many groceries this week and everything fit in the front seat.

Came home and got everything unloaded. Went down and did the chicken chores. The snow melted a lot today and it was easy going today. No dead chickens and 12 eggs from the girls today.

I had to unload some of the recycling so I could load the trash can in the back of the car to take down to the curb. The trash can was extra heavy due to all the Thanksgiving extra stuff. Kathy helped me get it loaded into the car. It is easy to pull out of the car but a bit hard to lift it up into the car.

I picked up the mail and then came in and put all the groceries away. I feel like I have done a days work in that trip to town.

Before I went to town this afternoon I made a batch of fudge. Kathy taste tested it for me and said it was good. I may make a batch of peanut brittle yet tonight and maybe a second batch of fudge. I need a sunny day to do those two things and we are to get some weather the next couple of days and sunshine will be hard to find. If I don’t get them all made, it is to be clear most of next week and I can wait and do it then.

I talked to Nicole today and we have decided to postpone the Himalayan trip until 2025. It was going to be a challenge for Nicole to get it in next year. She has a big trip next spring planned and has a small one planned for September. It would have used up the rest of her vacation time and she likes to save some for emergencies and personal days.

I will look at doing a different walking trip by myself later in 2024. There is one to the Swiss Alps that sounds fun as well as one to Costa Rica. I haven’t been to either of those places so will check those out and decide if either one of those is calling me to come. I need a reason to start exercising and putting something on my calendar would do the trick.

I learned some time ago not to push something if I don’t have a green light all the way. The Himalayan trip felt like I had a yellow flashing light with it for some reason and with Nicole on the fence it felt like we needed to postpone it. I’m good with that. For some reason, I feel like I have a red light on that trip to attempt to going solo. I have to trust my intuition and honor that feeling.

Got a bill from my plumber today. I had sent him a check when I got the bill a month ago. I called him and he said he never received my check. While I was at the bank today I had them check and sure enough the check has not cleared. I will send another check tomorrow. Sure wish the post office would get its act together and deliver what I mail. This is the second check that I have mailed that has vanished. Where do they go? That is the question of the day?.

I woke up around 7:00 this morning. Came out to the living room and was struck by the beauty of the pre dawn light. Took my medication and got dressed and came back out and the light was even more amazing. The sun was just starting to rise. I took a picture of it and when I came back in the house looked west. The west sky was beautiful too with the full moon low on the horizon. I took a picture of it too. Hard to know which way to look – east or west. I love the winter colors of the sunrise and sunsets on the prairie.

I missed the full moon rising last night. I had looked up when the full moon was for November and must have gotten last year’s date as I thought the full moon was last week. I should have known it was yesterday as both Kathy and I had emotional, hard days. I need to trust my inner knowledge better as it was telling me it was the full moon day.

Nothing on my calendar until the Pioneer Bluffs newsletter is ready for me to get it ready to mail. Still some moving parts with that project so not sure when it will be ready. I will keep working on making Christmas treats and then will take a break from those when the newsletter is ready for me to work on.

I just took five and watched the almost full moon rise. It is a beauty tonight. 97% full and bright orange. It will be a beautiful night on the prairie watching the almost full bright moon cast moon shadows on the snow on the prairie.

Feels good to have all my errands taken care of today and one batch of fudge successfully made. It will feel even better to be able to stay home for the next couple of days. I haven’t heard if the window guys will be here tomorrow or not. We are to get a wintery mix the next couple of days so they might not come. Next week we are to be in the upper 40’s during the day and that would be a better week for them to work. I’ll see what happens.

Grateful for the beauty of the rising sun and setting moon this morning and the rising moon tonight. Grateful my Christmas shopping is done, and grateful to have found a competent Chiropractor at a price I can afford.

My get up and go got up and left without me today. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I feel a bit weak and very tired today. Decided I would make this a rest day – as if I had much of a choice. Trusting tomorrow I can get something done.

Going down to do the chickens was much easier today. The snow has melted some and since I have been down and back a couple of times I have a path cut through the deep snow. I just follow my footsteps and I don’t have to break a new path. The girls gave me 14 eggs today which is about normal for them.

Found a dead chicken when I went down today. This one has been hanging around inside the coop for the last two weeks or so. She had lost her comb somehow and I could tell she wasn’t going to make it through the winter. It is still a shock to open the coop door and find a dead one.

I handle disposing of them better than I used to. I keep trash bags down there to put them in. Still not an easy thing to do though. I am down to 26 or 27 now.

Wonder why chickens lose their combs and if there is something I could do to prevent it. I have had another one or two do that and they don’t live for more than a month or so after they lose them.

The windows guys decided not to come today. They are to text me later today and see how conditions are and decide if they are coming tomorrow or not. The weather is to be much warmer next week, although not warm enough for the EFIS guy to work so am going to try to delay them until then. There is still quite a bit of snow on the decks that they will have to shovel off if they decide to come this week. It should be gone by next week.

Kathy shoveled the very top part of the driveway this morning so she can get her car out so she can go to work in the morning. She drove down the driveway to make sure she can get out of it. When they plow the road in front of the house, sometimes they pile the snow so high the cars can’t get out of the bottom of the driveway. She said she was able to get on the road so we should be good to go. The UPS driver had come this morning and cut a path in the driveway – that was nice of him!

Tomorrow afternoon I have a Chiropractor appointment at 3:20 and then I am picking up a grocery order at 4:00. I have a couple of gift cards to get at Walmart and I need to stop at a bank and get the right denomination of bills for the Christmas games. It will feel good to get those ends tied up and done.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon. Not sure why. I have had trouble settling down and staying with anything for very long today. Just one of those days, I guess. I haven’t had one for a bit so maybe I was due one. I’m sure by tomorrow things will be easy again for me.

I talked to one of the insurance agents today that is working up a quote for me. I still need to call the other one and get a second quote. Just not in the mood to do that today. Somedays I can talk on the phone and other days not so much.

Feeling a bit like I have come to a fork in the road. It feels like there is a big decision ahead of me that I will have to make. The only problem is, I have no clue what it might be I have to decide to do. I feel change is on its way to me. Sometimes all I can do is fasten my seat belt and hang on for this ride called life. Things have a way of working out – sooner or later. All is well right here right now so am doing my best to stay present to that. Worry has never helped me solve a problem before and it won’t help to fall into worry now – especially since I don’t know what to worry about!

Grateful I could take a rest day today, grateful the snow is melting, and grateful tomorrow is a new day. All is well! Right here, right now, All is well.

Took a nap yesterday afternoon around 4:30. Fell asleep around 5:00 and didn’t wake up until 12:30 this morning. Whoops! I came out to the living room and watched the almost full moon shine down on the freshly fallen snow. It was a magical and beautiful sight.

I finally took a hot bath and went back to bed around 5:00 and slept until 7:00. It was wonderful to get a good night’s sleep.

I walked down to checked on the chickens this morning. I am grateful for my insulated overalls and knee high muck boots. I walked in snow drifts that went above my knees on the way down. The wind was blowing hard and the snow was blowing all around. I was exhausted by the time I got back up to the house when I was done.

The chickens were all huddled up together keeping each other warm. They had plenty of food. I filled their water container. I picked up seven eggs while I was down there. I will go back down later this afternoon and gather the rest of the eggs.

The wind has finally slowed down a bit and the snow isn’t blowing and drifting so badly. There is water dripping off my roof line so things are melting a bit. It will take a while to get rid of all the snow as we got almost 8 inches. I hadn’t seen this much snow for a long time. It is beautiful but I will be glad when it is gone.

I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. Trusting by Tuesday afternoon when I need to go to Emporia the snow will have melted enough that I can get my car out without having to shovel. We shall see how that works out. It is to be 36 tomorrow and 38 Tuesday so maybe things will melt down a bit.

I have a big batch of Chex Mix baking in the oven. My kiddos love that stuff. I got lazy and didn’t make them any for Thanksgiving this year. They will each get a gallon bag of it for Christmas. It is so nice inside today that I needed to get started making Christmas treats. It is a good day to have the oven on. I’m not hungry this afternoon so this is a good time to make Chex Mix and get it put away without me getting in to it. I love it, especially when it is warm out of the oven. Unfortunately it doesn’t like me as much as I like it. I usually don’t eat grains and that is what Chex Mix mainly is.

Wondering if the window guys will show up tomorrow. They are going to have to shovel snow out of their way to put in windows if they come. I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t show up. There is no rush to get the windows in as the EFIS guy can’t come until it warms up and stays warm for a week or so. If they delay putting the windows in this week, that will be one less week the house will be open to the elements before the EFIS guy can come.

It is to be clear again tomorrow so may try to get a batch or two of fudge made. I need a sunny day to make it and the forecast is showing lots of cloudy days ahead for this week. For some reason, the fudge turns out better when I make it on a sunny day than it does when I make it on a cloudy day. Same thing for peanut brittle. Anyone else ever notice that?

One day this week will be chocolate day. I make peanut butter balls, ritz crackers treats, and pretzels and have to dip them in chocolate. It is easy but takes lots of time and patience. Somedays I can manage that and some days not. It felt too much to take on for me today. One day this week I will get those done.

The dogs are loving this cold weather. I turned the heat lamp on that is in their box in the garage but haven’t seen either one of them come in and get under it. They also have a heated mat in their box. Roxy usually sleeps in it during the night on cold nights. She doesn’t allow Sophia in the box very often. Ellie, the cat is allowed in it and will sleep with Roxy when Ellie doesn’t come in the laundry room at night.

It feels good to have lots of empty space on my calendar for the next week or two. Christmas is less than two weeks away and I am in good shape for it. When I go to town Tuesday, I will get the last couple of things I need and once those things are wrapped I will be done with shopping. I have plenty of time to get the Christmas treats made without rushing. I don’t remember ever being this ready before. Feels nice and lots less stress for me.

I do need to go by a bank Tuesday and get the right size bills for our Christmas games. I need to get them sacked up and the games finished up so they will be ready. I have the rest of the stuff I need for the games on my grocery order I will pick up Tuesday.

I got the name of another insurance agent today so will give them a call tomorrow and get a second bid. I need to call the people that I gave information to last week and see where they are and what questions they still have. I have almost two months before I need new insurance and I want to get it nailed down soon. I anxious to see how much it is going to be.

I have gotten my property tax bills from Lyon County but I haven’t gotten the ones from Chase County yet. They should be here this week. It doesn’t feel right to have to pay them in December along with Christmas. My house insurance is due in January so I alway get a triple whammy with property taxes, Christmas and insurance back to back to back.

I will be working on a mailing for Pioneer Bluffs sometime either this week or more likely next week. When I know for sure when it will be ready I will put out a call for help. It is always more fun to do when there are more hands working on it. It never takes too long and it is good to be of service to them in this small way.

I wonder if my solar panels can generate electricity with snow on them. I have no way of getting on top of the barn to brush the snow off of them. Hoping the snow will melt quickly up there and the panels can help me save some dollars on my electric bill. Winter is the usually the only time I have to pay more than the minimum electric bill as there are lots more cloudy days in the winter time then there are in the summer time. There is lots less daylight during the winter months due to the shorter days too. The solar panels have been a great investment and I have been very pleased with them.

I was able to stay above the neutral level on the consciousness chart yesterday, even being around people for several hours. It is easy to remain high when I am home alone – it is being around lots of people that usually can pull me down. Getting organized for Christmas and eliminating stress around that helps keep my level high too.

Grateful for the beautiful sight of the moon on the fresh snow last night, grateful for lots of sleep last night, and grateful for the delightful smell in the house this afternoon from the Chex Mix cooking.

I went to the old school and volunteered from 10:00 – 1:00 today. I was lucky and got to sit in a heated room. Didn’t have to do much – cleared tables off occasionally but mainly visited with folks. Had a really good conversation with a dear friend.

Met a lady and we got to talking about Chase County roots. Turns out she is related to my step-grandfather’s first wife. He had been married to Betsy Mercer for years and after she died, he married my grandmother. It is a small world.

It started snowing while I was doing my job. There was a window in the room I was in so I could watch the snow fall. There is no wind so it is coming straight down. We probably have an inch on the ground already and are to get up to 4 – 7 before it is done tonight around midnight. With no wind it doesn’t feel too cold out.

I was able to get the snow off my windows using the windshield wipers. I didn’t have to scrap. I came home the highway but was only able to go around 40 mph. The roads are snow covered. Luckily we didn’t get ice first so they aren’t too bad.

Not sure I will be able to get my car out of the garage in the morning if we get the 7 inches amount of snow. Good thing I don’t have anyplace to go until Tuesday afternoon. By then it should be good to go.

I stopped and mailed the Christmas cards as I went through Strong City this morning. I had loaded the car up with recycling material but when I got to the trailer it was too full for me do dump them. Guess they will sit in the car until I can get them back to town next week. With the holiday weekend, I am not surprised the trailer was full.

I have a chiropractor appointment in Emporia Tuesday afternoon. Jason told me about a new one that has come to town and is offering a good rate right now. I keep having headaches and decided I would see if he could help me out. I need to get a few groceries so will take care of both things Tuesday afternoon. Hopefully the roads will be good to go by then.

I have nothing else on my calendar for the weekend. I made a pot of chili before I left this morning so Kathy and I have been enjoying that this afternoon. It was nice to come home to the smell of it cooking. I was able to eat today which is good. I feel back to myself again.

I have lost 15 pounds since I got home from my Europe trip the 23rd of September. It took me four weeks to lose the first 10 but it took four weeks to lose the last 5. At this rate I will be where I want to be the end of March. Oh well, the easy part for me is this phase where I am razor focused on loosing the weight. Once I get it off, I have to keep it off and that is the part I haven’t mastered yet. One day at a time and I will get there.

15 down and 20 to go! I can do this! I can do this!

The sale on the trip to the Himalayas has been continued until Sunday so we haven’t booked it yet. Nicole needed to check her work calendar and make sure she could get the time off. If she has to back out, I still may book it and go solo unless I can find someone to go with me and share a room. It is cheaper for two to go than to book a solo trip but I will do what I have to do. I need some motivation to get my ass moving and this trip will do that.

Wondering if the window people will be able to do their thing Monday if the ground is covered in snow. They didn’t tell me they had any limitations but who knows. I’m kinda expecting them to call me Monday and tell me they won’t be here Monday. Guess we will see what the conditions are Monday and then go from there. No real rush for them to get done as the long-range forecast is not looking good for the EFIS guy to come do his thing once the windows are in.

I will get to put on my winter wear and go down and take care of the chickens in a bit. Wonder how they are liking their first taste of snow. I will have to start refrigerating the eggs as they will be cold when I bring them up. When it gets really cold – like 20 and below – I have to gather eggs a couple times a day so they don’t freeze and break in the coop. They should be OK today as it is only in the low 30’s.

I may get ambitious and start my Christmas treat baking this afternoon. I didn’t sleep well again last night and am tired so may take a nap instead. I have two weeks to get the treats made so I don’t have to push myself. I’ll see how my energy levels are in a bit and then decide what to do.

Sitting in a good spot. I had a very stimulating conversation with a dear friend today. We talked a bit about death and how way too many people are afraid of dying. Behind that fear is the fear that they aren’t good enough and won’t go to heaven. Dang! Our religious culture in this country has really done a number on us and their fear tactics have worked. I don’t believe it works that way but understand I am in the minority.

Grateful for the chance to give back to my community in a very small way, grateful for a crock pot of chili on a snowy day, and grateful I can stay home until Tuesday. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

This has been a rest and recovery day for me. I finished the 6th load of dishes last night and got the kitchen cleaned up. Nice to delete my to-do list for the dinner off my notes. Thanksgiving 2023 is done!

I got most of my Christmas presents wrapped today. I have two more to go and then one more that will need wrapped after it gets delivered. Nice to have that little project completed. I still need to get three gift certificates and then my Christmas shopping is done.

I took a nap late morning. I had woken up at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally found my second sleep between 11:00 and 12:30. I’ll take sleep whenever I can find it or it finds me.

We are to get 4 – 7 inches of snow tomorrow afternoon and into the evening. Luckily the wind isn’t to blow much so it might not drift too bad. When I went down to take care of the chickens today, the wind was blowing hard from the north. Man! It has gotten cold. It actually didn’t feel too bad if you were out of the wind but mid 30’s is too cold for me. The dogs are loving this weather.

I have to be at the old school tomorrow at 10:00 to help out. Not sure what I will be doing. I only work till 1:00 so I won’t have to be there long. Hopefully I will get home before the worst of the storm hits. I don’t like driving in icy or snowy roads. I don’t have anywhere I have to go Sunday so when I get home tomorrow I will tuck in and stay for a couple of days

If I remember I need to load up the car and take recycling and dump it in Cottonwood Falls. All my totes in the garage are full and I don’t have anymore space to put more recycling material. That stuff sure piles up quickly. Grateful the city offers a recycling trailer that is fairly easy to use.

I am going to finish my Christmas cards tonight and take them to the post office on my way to Cottonwood Falls tomorrow. It will be good to have that mess off my desk and in the mail. The only thing left on my to-do list for Christmas will be making treats and getting game prizes ready. Making treats is only part of Christmas I enjoy so looking forward to getting started on that. I have most of what I need to get some made next week. When I get groceries next week, I will get the rest of the stuff and get it all made.

Still haven’t felt back to my normal self today. Not sure what happened yesterday but I didn’t eat much and haven’t eaten much today. Hoping by tomorrow whatever this is, will be gone. I am better today than yesterday but have a ways to go yet.

After I get the treats made, I have a couple of people I send a box of goodies to. I will get those boxed up and shipped off early this year. In my mind, Christmas will be over December 9 when the kids and I get together. That will make for a short Christmas season for me. Maybe I will enjoy it more this year.

It is going to be cold in the house while they replace windows. I’m curious how they go about doing it and how much EFIS they have to cut to get the old windows out. Sure trusting I made the right decision on the windows. The amount of money they are costing is overwhelming. Grateful insurance is paying the bulk of it.

The dogs and chickens all enjoyed their Thanksgiving feast. The chickens got potato and veggie scraps and the dogs got turkey. Both had cleaned their plates by this afternoon. The dogs didn’t bother eating much dog food today. They must still be full from the turkey.

I might make some chili or a hamburger soup for tomorrow. Cold weather and snow makes me want soup to eat. It would be nice to come home tomorrow to the smell and taste of fresh soup in the crock pot.

I ordered and received a stand up charger for my smart watch. I kept knocking the other one off my nightstand and I was afraid I was going to break the watch. This is the charger that I had ordered a month ago and got the wrong thing. I asked for a refund on that one and ordered another one. They had it on a Back Friday sale this time and it was $10 off. If I get my money back for the wrong product, that will be a good deal.

Still basking a bit from the love and joy that was shared by all that came yesterday. The day couldn’t have gone better and was a lot of fun for me. I need to find an excuse to host a big group like that more often.

Feels good to have Christmas presents all but wrapped. I don’t like gift giving and wrapping things. I cheated and put most of the things in bags. I did fuss with tissue paper to a degree but barely. Just not my thing! Some people wrap the most beautiful packages – that is not me!

I need to get started doing the embroidery on the tea towels I stamped. That will be relaxing and fun for me. I needed to wait till the house was cleaned and Thanksgiving over before I would let myself start them. Once I get the Christmas cards done, I can bake Christmas treats and when I take a break I can do a tea towel or two. I don’t have a deadline to get them done so no rush to get to them. I just don’t like unfinished projects sitting around.

It is nice to have a clean house. Not sure how much of a mess the window installation will make. May have to clean again when they get done the end of next week. They will be in every room on the main floor replacing windows so the whole main floor may need cleaned again.

Grateful the presents are wrapped, grateful the cards are all but done, and grateful for all the love present in my house yesterday.

And Thanksgiving 2023 is a wrap. I had 19 people around my tables today. Some family, some friends, some strangers but by the time dinner was over we were all friends. Dinner was a smashing success and we had lots of leftovers. Most took some leftovers home and the rest of the leftovers have disappeared. I am washing my fourth load of dishes and have at least two more loads to go and cleanup will be complete.

The weather was perfect for the day. It is sunny on the prairie today. A touch cold as it is in the high 40’s but no wintery roads to deal with. A winter storm is coming in Saturday but it isn’t here yet.

I think I will declare the rest of the day a rest day and sit in my chair and do nothing. It was so fun fixing the feast today. I couldn’t have done it without Kathy’s help. Together we did our magic and got it done.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow. Saturday I am volunteering at a community thing in Cottonwood Falls for a couple of hours. Hoping the roads will be drivable and safe. If not, I will stay home.

Now I can turn my focus to finishing up my Christmas tasks. I still have 10 cards to finish and then I can mail the Christmas cards. I have a pile of presents to wrap or bag and then I can start making Christmas goodies. I have a little over two weeks to get it all done – I can do this!

Nicole and I will make a final decision tomorrow about booking a walking tour in the Himalayan mountains next fall. The trip is on sale this week. We only have to put a small deposit down to hold our space if we decide to book. Trusting this trip will give me the motivation to get my ass moving and get into shape. I need something to make me move. I did it to get ready to go walk the 500 miles on the Camino and can do it again. This time I won’t be walking near as long or as far but it will be high in the mountains which adds a different dimension to it.

I need to get down and take care of the chickens. I have some leftovers for them too. The dogs will get some turkey leftovers. They deserve Thanksgiving dinner too!

Have felt a bit off today. My blood pressure was low for most of the morning and I haven’t been able to eat much today. Not sure what is up with that. Trusting by tomorrow I will be back to my normal self. I got a bit more sleep last night but can’t say I got a good night’s sleep. Starting to feel a bit sleep deprived. Maybe tonight will be the night I can get some good sleep.

The window guys will be here Monday morning. I am grateful that part of the hail restoration project is going to get done. I sure hope the weather warms up later in December so the EFIS guy can come do his thing, It has to be above 40 for 24 hours before he can come and it has to stay above 40 on the days he works. He didn’t say how long the project will take him. Not sure that will happen again before spring but we shall see. Stranger things in KS have happened before.

Next week I need to nail down a new insurance company. I have one company working up a quote and need to get a second quote from someone else. Keith is to send me the name of his independent agent. I still have two months to complete this project but I really want to get it finalized soon. People tend to stop working mid December and I want it done before people start taking their Christmas breaks.

Loved having a full house today. It is so fun to hear the noise happy people generate while they are eating. The day couldn’t have gone any better. So grateful to my friends and family that came. You made my heart happy by your presence.

Grateful for this day to pause and give thanks for all my many blessings, grateful for the love shared today, and grateful for all of you that read and follow my life story. Sending love and light to all!

Very little sleep last night. I ended up fixing some scrambled eggs around 6:00. I don’t usually eat that late and remembered why when I had acid reflux when I went to bed. I was reminded why I started fasting. My body seems to like it much better. I got back up and sat up until 3:00. It finally settled down and I tried to sleep but sleep was very hard to find last night. Gave up around 7:30 and got up. Laid down to take a nap early afternoon but still couldn’t find sleep. Evidently I am not to be sleeping much right now.

Got the jello salad made and the bread broken for the dressing tomorrow. Still need to bake pies but that is my reward for getting my cleaning done. I am almost done cleaning. Just need to do a couple more floors and I will be done.

The furnace guy came today to do the annual fall check on the system. The draft motor (what ever that is) is going out. He can hear a whirling sound that shouldn’t be happening. He said the bearings are going out. They called with the estimate – it is almost $800 to replace and install. Merry Christmas to myself. Not sure that is what I wanted for Christmas. Yikes! I told them to get it ordered as I am afraid if I don’t I will get cold this winter when it finally breaks. I also don’t want a furnace fire from hot bearings.

While he was here he noticed the water booster pump is leaking again. I need to figure out a different solution. We keep replacing the same pump and it only lasts for about six months and then starts leaking. Who is a water booster pump expert that could advise me? My plumber just keeps replacing it with the same thing. Luckily it has been covered by warranty but I need a more permanent solution. I have to pay for the installation each time and it costs me over $100 each time for that. Things like this are beyond my skill set and I find them very frustrating to solve.

The window guy let me know the windows are loaded on a trailer and they will be here bright and early Monday morning to start the install. He estimates it will take all week to get them in. Not sure how big of a crew he is sending but I am guessing it will take longer. They are the experts though so we shall see. Trusting the weather stays dry and they can get this job done next week. This project has dragged on long enough. Still need to get the EFIS repaired when the windows get done and then the new guttering goes up after the EFIS is done. Next spring insurance will pay for the deck to get repainted.

Days like this make me want to sell this house and find some where else to live. This house drains my bank account regularly. Guess any house has that potential but I am on a roll lately and not a good one. Tired of making these decisions and forking out money left and right. I would much rather take that $800 and do something fun with it.

Trying to figure out timing on cooking the turkey. I need it done by 11:00 so I have oven space to fix the rest of the meal. The turkey has not thawed much in the refrigerator and will need a bit longer to cook than normal. May have to set an alarm for the middle of the night and get up around 4:00 to put it in the oven. I want to make sure it is well done. Raw turkey is not good!

As I started a load of dishes this morning I wondered how many loads I will do today and tomorrow. I bet I will do at least four more and maybe five. Grateful for a dishwasher. I have the ability to dirty more dishes than most cooks do. Not sure why but that is how I do things, I guess.

Sitting with a bit of frustration over the house issues this afternoon. Wish I knew more about this type of thing. I don’t know what questions to ask and can only depend on my expert’s opinions. I get really tired of keeping this house going though. It is only 20 years old – how do people do this with old houses? This one has been a huge challenge for me. I don’t remember this happening in the other houses I lived in.

Then I sit in my chair and look out over the prairie at the beautiful view and remember why I keep at it and stay here. I absolutely love the views this house offers and know that if I moved to town it would be a very hard adjustment for me. Guess I will keep at it here until I can’t anymore.

Three people that were coming tomorrow just cancelled. If you need a place to eat dinner, I have table space for you. We are eating at 1:00. Come as you are – no need to bring anything.

So excited about tomorrow. I can’t think of anything I love better than having a full house of people to feed. I think there will be 21 people here now. Love that so many are coming. It will be fun in the morning fixing all the trimmings to go with the ham and turkey. The conversation around the tables will be rich and fun. I love the sound of laughter ringing through the house.

Nicole and I may book the walking tour to the Himalayas Friday. The booking company has a Black Friday sale going on. We were waiting to book it until it was on sale. Man! That means next week I have to start at the gym and the game is on! I will have almost a year to get this couch potato body into top shape. I think I can! I think I can!

I realized last night getting my body into shape is the easy part. The hard part is convincing my brain that I can do this. Fear rears its ugly head and tries to tell me I can’t do this. I didn’t listen when I went to Spain to walk the 500 mile Camino. I need to keep reminding myself not to listen this time either. I will be 71 when I go and I keep telling myself 71 is not too old to walk in the Himalayan mountains.

Maybe this trip means I will go to Colorado next summer and get some mountain training in. Anyone want to ride along on a trip to Colorado with me to hike in the mountains? I would love the company. I won’t be going to the Himalayans until late fall so can go to Colorado anytime during the summer – preferably later than earlier. Maybe I could talk Tagen into going with me. He likes to hike and would challenge me. His legs are a lot longer than mine are and he walks faster than I do.

Still staying above the neutral level on the consciousness scale. I felt myself dipping for a bit today – primarily from lack of sleep. Maybe I will get a good night’s sleep tonight and be really good to go tomorrow. Have felt a bit more motivated to do things than yesterday so that is good. Don’t have a lot more I have to get done today so may go to bed early and get a fresh start in the morning. Can’t wait till the smell of turkey fills the house.

Grateful Thanksgiving is tomorrow, grateful for this beautiful fall day, and grateful I have the money in the bank to pay for house repairs.

This has been one of those days. No motivation to do anything and all I wanted to do was eat. I decided to give myself a cheat day but I no longer have food in the house that is not on my plan. Ended up having a spoonful of peanut butter, some popcorn, a few cashews and two bananas for lunch. How is that for cheating? Dang it anyways. Not sure what I was looking for to cheat with but that wasn’t it.

Still need to finish up my cleaning. I did get the chickens taken care of and the trash to the curb and picked up the mail. Essentials done at least!

I only have 10 more Christmas cards to finish up and then they can be put in the mail. I will take them to the post office Friday and drop them off and cross that Christmas task off my to-do list.

I still have the rest of the day to find some motivation to clean and I have all day tomorrow. Good thing I don’t have to pass the white glove test on Thursday. Hoping the house will be crowded enough that no one will notice the layer of dust and dirt that I might not get cleaned up before then. My windows really need washed but since they are getting replaced next week don’t think I will bother.

Tomorrow I get to start cooking. I will bake a few pumpkin pies, break the bread for the dressing and make a jello salad. I will have Kathy help me bring up a long table from downstairs so I can get it set up for Thursday. We will need all the tables in the dining room plus a table set for eight more. Love having a full house for Thanksgiving dinner. I still have a card table or two I can set if anyone else wants to join us. We are eating at 1:00. No need to bring anything – come as you are.

It is in the mid 40’s and very windy on the prairie today. At least the sun is shining so it didn’t feel that cold when I did the chickens. The wind is wearing me out though. Not sure where it is blowing to but it is in a hurry to get there. It is to warm up a bit the rest of the week but then get cold again next week.

The guys are to come to install the new windows next week. Wonder how cold it can be and they can still work? The house is going to get cold as they take a window out and replace it. Not sure how long it takes to install windows. Thinking they will be here all week and maybe longer but I could be wrong. They have lots of them to do.

Next week I will start making some Christmas treats. I will need them all done by December 9 so have to get started soon. I will need a sunny day to make fudge and peanut brittle. Don’t plan on making lots of stuff this year as the kids don’t eat as much of it as they used to. I sure don’t eat any of it but I love making it. I will send Gene a box of it as part of his Christmas gift. He enjoys it and shares it with his friends.

I still need to wrap all the Christmas gifts and get the final items for the games we are going to be playing. I have two weeks from Saturday to get it all done and it will be here before I know it. I do not like last minute things these days so like to be done plenty ahead of time. I don’t move as fast as I used to and it stresses me out to wait till the last minute. Doing my best to avoid as much stress as possible these days.

Addressing Christmas cards always puts me in a nostalgic mood. I think of each person I send a card to and always think of a fun memory about them. I have let too much time pass and have not reached out to some of the people on my list. I love catching up with them when given the chance. One of the problems of blogging is that people know what I am up to but forget I have no idea what they are up to.

I have gotten several reminders lately about not taking more time to do things for granted. One never knows what the rest of the day or tomorrow might bring. I’ve had three dear ones pass away this past month or so. I know of several others that are fighting serious health battles. It reminds me how important it is for me to reach out and connect with those I love and care about. Can’t think of anything more important to do.

The chickens gave me 15 eggs today. I have only been getting barely a dozen a day lately – the slackers. They won’t molt this year as they are not old enough for that but they do decrease their egg production during the darker and colder days. For the first time in a long time I have had requests for more eggs than I have on hand. They were piling up for a bit and I couldn’t find homes for them. How things have changed! Wish they weren’t eating as much in exchange for less eggs but they seem to be eating even more.

Grateful for today and for being alive, grateful for what eggs the girls are giving me, and grateful for a restful day.

It is 6:30 and I just got home from town. Went in to watch Ellexia cheer and then stopped at the zoo – I mean Walmart. Picked up the last of the things (I hope) I need to fix dinner for Thursday. Actually the store wasn’t as crowded as I feared it might be. The pharmacy had a ten-deep line so went and picked up my groceries and then came back to the pharmacy. By then they had worked through the line and I got what I needed with no wait. I drove home in the rain and then got things unloaded and put away. That wore me out! I am spoiled and used to the easy pickup routine. Glad I went in though as they were out of two items on my list and I had to substitute one thing and the other wasn’t essential so will try again next time I order or go in the store.

We have rain falling on the prairie. Not sure we have gotten much more than an inch but I will take whatever we can get. It has been in the mid 40’s today and has rained off and on all day. Sure nice to hear the rain fall. It was a bit muddy when I walked down to do the chicken chores today. We have some standing water in my swell in the backyard. It has been a hot minute since that has happened.

Got the guest bathroom and hallway cleaned today. Still need to do my bathroom tonight and then all I will have left for tomorrow is the living room, dining room and kitchen. I’m in good shape as far as the cleaning project. Wednesday I will start baking pies, make the jello salad and break the bread for the dressing. Sure wish I could make a few other things ahead of time but have found that doesn’t work so well.

I found a crock pot recipe for roasted veggies that I am going to try. I run out of oven space if I roast them in the oven. I need to fix something that I can eat – most of what I am fixing I won’t eat. I love making the stuff though and enjoy watching others eat it.

Ellexia doesn’t think she will get to come to dinner Thursday as she thinks she goes to her dad’s house this year. She gave me a take-out order for leftovers for her though. That girl does love her green beans.

I ordered an item from Amazon two weeks ago and kept getting notifications that the item was delayed. It was combined with something I ordered last week and was delivered today. The only problem is I got two bottles of some sort of tub and tile cleanser instead of the two items I ordered. When I went to the Amazon web site to do a return, I found out I have to take them to an actual UPS store and not just a UPS drop off site. Dang it anyways. It was their screw up why do I have to work that hard to fix it? This rarely happens with Amazon but still…. Wish I had gotten something I could use and liked and I would have just accepted that.

Got my tax bills for the four rental properties in Emporia. Yikes! A couple of them really went up. I don’t know how people on fixed incomes can afford to stay in their houses now with the increases in property taxes and house insurance. I haven’t gotten the bills for my house or the rental house I have in Cottonwood Falls.

Tonight I will watch the Chiefs game. Not sure it will hold my interest for the whole game but I will watch at least part of it.

I almost forgot to do my chicken chores before I went to town today. Sure glad I remembered as it was pitch dark by the time I got home. I’m still not used to it getting dark so early. By Winter Solstice it will be dark just a bit after 5:00. With the clouds and rain today, it felt really dark out when I got home.

Still in a good head space. Of course when I stay home and stay away from people it is easier to stay there! I didn’t get upset with any one at Walmart today – even the ones that were in la la land and blocking the isles. I will count that as a win!

Grateful all the stuff I need to cook dinner on Thursday is in the house, grateful to watch Ellexia cheer today, and grateful my cleaning project is almost finished.

I had a fun afternoon. Jason brought Cody out for a knitting lesson. Cody is seven and I think knitting looks easier for him than it was. He helped me do two rows and then was done. We will have an other go at it next time he comes home. He took some knitting lessons and yarn home with him to practice. Hmmmm…. I suggested he watch a YouTube video and see if that will help him. Stranger things have happened – right?

Cody helped me do the chicken chores. Thankfully the rooster behaved himself and didn’t come after us. Cody gathered 14 eggs to bring to the house. He has learned to gently pick them up and put them in the basket.

I didn’t get my cleaning done today but that is OK. It was much more fun playing with Cody and visiting with Jason. My favorite days are the days when one or more of my kids come home for a visit.

I binged watched a series on TV last night called Northern Exposure. If you haven’t seen it, it is good. I didn’t like the ending but I don’t’ know if there will be another season or not. I stayed up way too late watching the last of it.

We got some rain during the day today. My rain gauge is down so not sure how much. It wasn’t too wet when I walked down to do the chickens this afternoon so guessing less than half of an inch. The ground is still pretty dry. We have a chance for more rain tomorrow. Need lots more rain to catch up a bit.

I didn’t make it to the grocery store today so will go in tomorrow sometime. Ellexia isn’t cheering Tuesday so won’t have to go in then. I will get the trip to the grocery store over with tomorrow and then I will get to stay home for the rest of the week. I will get my cleaning done tomorrow and Tuesday and then I can start ccooking Wednesday.

This hasn’t felt like Sunday to me. Not sure why my days of the week are off but I am a bit lost as to day of the week. The Chiefs playing tomorrow night may have messed me up. It doesn’t feel like Sunday in the fall unless the Chiefs are on. Ha!

I’m watching a Netflix Christmas movie trying to find some Christmas spirit. Not sure I ever found it last year. So far it hasn’t worked but I do believe in miracles. Maybe I will find the Christmas spirit it this year!

I need to start thinking about my word for the year for next year. This year my word was balance. It served me well and had lots of lessons for me. When I am out of balance emotionally, mentally or physically life gets hard. It is still hard for me to remain in balance all the time but am getting better at it, especially since I have begun learning about boundaries. Maybe boundaries will be my word for next year so I can continue to learn about them and the lessons they have for me.

Still staying above the neutral level on the consciousness scale. It feels so good to be able to maintain myself now. A year ago I wasn’t able to do that. Lots of personal growth and healing happened for myself this year.

Grateful for the visit from Jason and Cody today, grateful for what rain we did get, and grateful for personal growth and healing.

I got my Christmas letter finished today and copied. I must have had to proof it five times before I found all the spelling errors. Sometimes it is hard to see the obvious the first (and second and third) time through. Grateful that is a print. I have started addressing cards but it will take me a bit to get through the list. Plan on getting them in the mail within a week so I can cross that project off my list.

I got the laundry room cleaned last night. Plan on doing the guest bathroom and my bathroom tonight. Tomorrow I will do the hallways and steps and then Monday the three main rooms. It feels possible that I will get it all cleaned. I got the study and my bedroom finished earlier.

The Christmas sacks I will use to do part of my Christmas wrapping came in today. They are big enough – I was not sure if they would be when I ordered them. I will start getting Christmas presents wrapped – I mean thrown in a sack and tag put on them. I do things the easy way most of the time. I do have some packages for the kiddos that I will wrap. It is more fun to have to unwrap something instead of just taking it out of a bag.

I have misplaced two sympathy cards I purchased a week or two ago and two gift certificate cards that I got when I was in Topeka Tuesday. Surely they will show up? I can’t remember what I did with either of the things. I hate when I do that. I think I am organized and efficient until something disappears and I can’t find it. Hope I didn’t throw them out by mistake.

What a perfect day on the prairie today. it was in the upper 60’s and little to no wind. The skies were bright blue with just little clouds here and there. There is a cold front coming in overnight and it is to possibly rain and be colder tomorrow. We need the rain so hoping it finds the prairie.

I had a great deal of difficulty finding sleep last night. I doubt that I got two hours of sleep all night. I laid down this afternoon for a nap and got about 30 minutes of sleep. I even had trouble finding sleep when I took nap. Feel better now than I have all day though. I was sure tired this morning and had a low energy type of day. Sure wish I could figure out my sleep problem and do something about it. That is my major health concern and there appears to be no easy answers for it. I so envy those that can lay down and go right to sleep and can sleep all night long. Not something I can do very often. Crossing my fingers that tonight will be an easier night to find sleep.

I violated a boundary yesterday. I didn’t even realize it until today. I felt so justified at the time doing what I did but I got to thinking about it and I had stuck my nose in someone else’s business. I didn’t ask permission before I interacted with them. Dang! This is going to take me some time to learn. It felt like an emergency of sorts at the time but even so it was still a boundary violation. I’m grateful I recognized it today for what it was and can learn from that. Maybe next time I can catch myself sooner. Not my garden – not my business!

I may go to town tomorrow to buy the last few things on my grocery list. I am afraid the store will be out of what I need if I wait until Tuesday. I think Ellexia has a basketball game Tuesday to cheer at so will be back in town then. I want to get some flowers for the serving bar and didn’t want to get those early but if I go to town Tuesday I can get those then. They are not essential so if they are out no big deal. The other stuff I need is much more essential though and getting them a day or two early won’t hurt.

I still need to clean out my refrigerator so it is as empty as possible so I have lots of room to put stuff in Thursday. I don’t think there is too much extra stuff in there but I usually find something when I go to look. It will be nice to get the huge turkey and the ham out of there Thursday morning. That will free up a lot of space.

Feels good to have Christmas almost ready. When the kids were small and I worked full-time, I would take a week of vacation in October and do all my Christmas shopping then. The stores weren’t crowded and the kids were in school and it was easy. Got a bit harder to do as the kids got older and became pickier about what they wanted. I hate last minute shopping and the stress of doing things last minute. I don’t like Christmas anyways and having a long to-do list that has a time urgency to it is not good for me. I don’t handle that type of stress well. We are having Christmas in three weeks so I am in good shape this year.

Grateful for a beautiful day on the prairie today, grateful things feel possible to be done by Thursday, and grateful my Christmas letter is printed and ready to put into cards.

It has been a sunny day on the prairie but a touch cold for my liking. It is only 58 out today. Tomorrow is to warm up to 65 and then the big cool down begins.

I have filled my tables for Thanksgiving but I can always add a table. If you need a place to have dinner on Thanksgiving, please come. I have more tables I can add. I have 24 confirmed attendees now. Thanks to all that have agreed to come. I love having a full house on Thanksgiving and am grateful to those that are coming.

I haven’t been very motivated to get anything done today. Not sure why as I managed to get some sleep last night. I went to bed before 9:00 last night. I was awake during part of the night but managed to fall back asleep to get more sleep. My eyes are doing great today. I still have a touch of a headache from having my eyes dilated yesterday but it is almost gone.

I called an insurance company that my son recommended. We figured out pretty quickly that it would be easier if I took my existing policy to them so they can work up a quote. I have to go to town early next week and will take it in and drop it off to them then, I am not good about being able to answer their questions. I have no idea how to guess how big my barn is, etc. I wish they would come do a house call and figure those things out for themselves,

I still need to find another insurance company to get a second quote. If you have a name and number of someone good please send it my way. I may have to go into the state pool of high risk insurance. Yikes! That will be expensive. The two rental houses I have with my existing insurance can still be insured by whoever I can find though. They don’t have to follow me, if that becomes necessary, into the high risk group.

Worked on the outline of my Christmas letter today. I went back through my calendar for the year to find the events that stood out to me. What a year I have had. Many highs and lows but am ending on a high note. I trust 2024 will bring good things to me.

The window people gave me their weekly update today. They have responded well to my angry call a few weeks ago and have stayed in touch. They still plan on being here the week after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately the weather forecast is not looking good for that week but we will see what happens as the time gets closer. Still hoping we can get them in and the EFIS repaired before the end of the year but it will depend on Mother Nature.

It is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas around here. The delivery companies have been busy dropping off the things I have ordered. Almost everything is here. Now I have to get everything wrapped and Christmas treats made and I will be ready for Christmas December 9. So grateful decisions have been made and I am almost ready. On-line shopping was designed for people like me that hate to shop.

Feels good to stay home today. With two trips to Topeka this week it has felt like a busy week. It is good for my soul to slow things down and stay home for a couple of days. I do my best internal work when I am at home for several days in a row. As an introvert, I need lots of quiet time at home to recharge and refill. Next week I get to stay home most of the week but will be busy getting things ready for Thanksgiving Dinner. That is the best way I know of to be busy though. I do love having people come over for a meal.

I went to Emporia yesterday afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer. She didn’t fly this week but was fun to watch. It was a seventh grade game this time. Took me a hot minute to figure out why the players looked different and I didn’t recognize most of the people in the stands. I took Ellexia home after the game and was telling her about me not being able to find my phone when I was actually talking on it at the time. She made me feel better when she told me she was FaceTiming someone and did the same thing! Now I don’t feel so old.

Jason may be bringing Cody out sometime this weekend. Last time Cody was here I promised him next time he comes out I would teach him how to knit. He is already thinking about knitting a sweater. Yikes! Even I can’t do that. He is a quick learner so it is possible he can learn how to do it. Not sure I am the best knitting instructor so we shall see how this goes.

Still sitting in a good head space. I have been able to hold myself above the neutral zone on the consciousness chart for some time now. That feels good! I am still amazed when I look back during the time I was with Jim how I was unable to do that. That should have been a big clue to me that something was wrong but I totally missed it. So very grateful I figured out something was wrong and took steps to put myself on a different path. Life feels so much easier now.

Grateful my tables will be full for Thanksgiving, grateful my Christmas plans are almost done, and grateful for time with Ellexia yesterday.

Good news from the retina specialist today. The laser surgery he did six months ago healed perfectly and both eyes had no changes. The cataracts have not changed which amazed him. I don’t have to go back until a year from now.

The best part of the day is they didn’t have to inject me with the dye. They did dilate my eyes but no dye! I hadn’t eaten breakfast as the dye thing upsets my tummy and I do better if I go in fasting. It was a relief not to have that done. I was hungry by the time we got home.

Kathy drove me home afterwards. Since I didn’t have the dye thing I probably could have driven home but it was safer having Kathy do it. I appreciated her taking half her day to go up with me and get me home.

Last night I went to see the movie After Death. I feel the movie confirmed many beliefs I have about what happens after death. I was especially touched when all the people that were interviewed said that you go to a place of almost indescribable, unconditional love. I have felt that in my bones for some time. They also said they didn’t have the words to properly describe where they went. I have felt that when I do energy work – things happen and I can’t find words to describe what happened. It feels out of this world as we know it to me and I can feel the energy of it but find words don’t do it justice.

At some point one of the men said he had been told during his Near Death Experience that his only mission and purpose for the rest of his life was to be love and to love others. He was told there is a ripple effect that happens when you treat others with love that can spread around the world. That too feels like my truth.

I was disappointed that they referred to the great beyond and the voice they heard as He and God. That doesn’t feel true to me. The term God has negative connotations these days. I wish they had used Spirit or All That Is or something less charged. I also don’t believe God is a man or a woman. The use of “He” continues the male dominate narrative that is so strong in our culture these days.

I am grateful a movie like this is becoming main stream and trust that it opens some dialogue. The “church” has preached fear and negative consequences for our choices for way too long. They have many fearing death as many feel they aren’t good enough to get to heaven. I believe heaven and hell are what we create here on earth. I think after death we remember that there is only love and it was our egos, dogma, and fear that created the illusion of heaven and hell.

My eyes are doing well enough that I plan on going to Emporia mid-afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer. I have some Chex Mix to take her if I remember to. It will be good to see her. It has been a hot minute since I have seen her.

I don’t think I have to leave the house again after I get home tonight until Tuesday of next week when I go to town to get my final things to make Thanksgiving dinner. I look forward to several days at home. I have lots of cleaning to do to keep me busy over the weekend.

The weather is a changing. It is only 60 out today but with a 25 MPH wind it feels much colder. A cold front is moving in and we won’t see above the mid to high 50’s for the next week or so. Hoping it brings the rain with it. We are getting desperate for rain again.

Kathy sold 11 dozen eggs for me today! Yay! That cleaned out my extra egg stash. I am getting over a dozen eggs a day so will build up another stash quickly. It is a good day when all the eggs get cleared out. Grateful for my egg customers. I will need to remember to hold a dozen or so back for me so I can have eggs to bake pies next Wednesday.

I still have to do a stool test in December and then I think I am done with medical stuff for this year. I am almost done with my vaccines and have finished all my annual doctor appointments. It takes a lot of appointments to keep this old body going strong.

I got a letter from my house insurance company today telling me they are not going to renew my house insurance next January. I had too big of a loss and they are backing out. I hope I don’t have to go into the high risk category to get insurance next year. Not sure where to start to find new insurance. Any experts out there that can advise me?

Kinda upsets me that insurance companies are allowed to do that. A hail storm is not something that I can control. Now if I had burned my house down by doing something negligent I could understand being cancelled. I have two of my rental properties with this insurance company so will find new insurance for them too. If they are kicking my house off, they are going to lose covering my car and rental property too.

Sitting in a good head space today. Grateful I got a good report from the retina specialist, especially the good news that my cataracts have not grown as he expected they would. The movie last night confirmed many of the beliefs that I hold about what happens after death. It feels like I am on the right path doing what I am meant to be doing. It has been a while since I felt good about where I am and what I am doing. It feels good to be back!

Grateful for a great report from the retina specialist today, grateful they are making movies like After Death, and grateful to be alive in this moment of time.

I had a busy two hours in Emporia today. Had lots of little stops to make. I filled the car with gas and then took it through the car wash. Next stop was to drop off three piles of things at Salvation Army. I went to the post office to get stamps but the line was too long so went to my haircut. I dropped a sack of books off at the library for the next book sale. Went back to the post office and got stamps for my Christmas cards. Tagen had gotten some mail here so I dropped it off at his house. I got a text telling me the prescription the Endocrinologist had sent in yesterday was ready. Went into Walmart to pick that up and ended up getting a few more things on my Thanksgiving list.

Came home exhausted. I don’t do town well and had way too many stops to take care of today. It felt good to get them all done though and it is always a good day when I get my haircut.

A friend texted me yesterday and invited me to go to the movie Life After Death tonight. I usually don’t go to the movies but this one is something I will be interested in watching. Kathy and a few other friends are joining us. It will be a fun night out.

Tomorrow I have to leave for Topeka by 9:15 in the morning for my eye doctor appointment with the retina specialist. Kathy is going along with me so the drive will go fast. She will have to drive home as they are dilating my eyes and it is hard to drive after they do that. Ellexia is cheering tomorrow afternoon so plan on going to watch her if my eyes get back to normal enough that I can drive to town.

No plans for the weekend except for cleaning house. It is possibly going to rain this weekend which might help settle the dust. It will be good to have the whole house cleaned again. I have been working on cleaning out drawers, closets, reducing clutter, etc. so when I get the rest of it done, my house will really feel clean to me.

So far I have 14 people confirmed that are coming with another six on my pending – maybe list. Yay! I will almost have all my tables full which was my goal. Still have room for more if you want to come join us. I can always set a card table or two up if needed. We eat at 1:00 and I have never run out of food. We are having a turkey, ham and all the trimmings.

Kathy sold five dozen eggs for me today. I still have a bunch if you need eggs for your holiday cooking. The girls are slacking a bit right now and only giving me about a dozen a day. They still seem to be piling up faster then I an find homes for them.

I managed to find some sleep last night at last. I was getting pretty desperate for a good night’s sleep, The only problem is when I do get sleep, for some reason I am even more tired during the day the next day. Not sure how that works.

Yesterday afternoon Nicole called me and we had a good long conversation. Towards the end of it I was telling her that a friend had come over and had gotten the photos on her phone to show up on my TV. I didn’t know you could do that and had no idea how one would. Nicole was trying to explain to me how to do it and was telling me about a button on my phone I needed to use. I told her hold on, I have to find my phone. I got up and started looking for it. Nicole started laughing and gently said Mom, you have your phone in your hand. Sometimes I even worry about myself! Sign of old age? Maybe!

It is in the mid 70’s today on the prairie. I sure wish these were our winter temperatures all winter long. The temperature is to start dropping as the week continues and next week we will be lucky to hit 50. Better enjoy it while I can.

So looking forward to having a full house next Thursday. I love when friends and family come for a big meal. I trust I will have an easy day in the kitchen and all will turn out edible. I seem to have more fails in the kitchen now then I did 20 years ago.

The Tallgrass Prairie Preserve is burning pasture today. I’m grateful the wind is blowing the smoke away from my house. There was lots of smoke on the western horizon this afternoon. I trust they had a successful and safe burn. Some ranchers burn in the fall depending on what weeds they are trying to control. Most still burn in the spring.

Sitting in a good head space today. I feel lighter inside then I have for a long time. The boundary work I have been doing has been very helpful and freeing. The new year coming up feels like it is full of new possibilities and lots of potential for me.

Grateful for a haircut today, grateful I got all my errands taken care of, and grateful for a day with the temperatures in the mid 70’s.

Had a quick trip to Topeka today. I got to my Endocrinologist appointment about 20 minutes early. I was surprised they called me back five minutes after I got there. The efficient nurse took down my information and took my vitals. My blood pressure was 118/75 today which is spot on.

Five minutes after she was done the doctor came in. We visited for about ten minutes. She never gives me the impression she is in a hurry. Everything checked out fine with my labs and the physical exam she did today.

I asked her about taking B Complex. I take B6 now to help my body absorb Potassium but wanted to add the other B Vitamins. She said “at your age” your body can easily hold on to too much B Vitamins so she recommended I take a B Complex every other day. Man! Does she have to remind me I am old! Ha!

I showed her my 5.4 A1C results and she said that was perfect. She was glad I had it checked and was very pleased with the results.

I asked her if stress can cause my TSH levels to bounce. I explained my life over the last four years to her and she said it is very possible that is why I have had trouble balancing my levels. She said she will be looking forward to seeing me in a year to see if they have stabilized. Anytime I want to have my levels checked, I am to send her a message through My Chart and she will order them to be done.

She agreed to lower my dose of Tirosint to 112 from the 125. I had a couple of TSH levels below 2 and I don’t like them that low. She agreed that my target is between 2 and 3, although she said it is very hard to stay within that range every time. She said for my heart health, higher than 2.0 is better.

She asked me what my major health concern is and I told her trouble sleeping. She said if she asked 100 women “my age” what their major concern was, 99 of them would also say sleep. She said she doesn’t have any good solutions to offer for it. She advised me to stay away from prescription sleeping pills as they can send you down a path that you really don’t want to go. She told me the person that can solve the sleep issue will become a billionaire as it is a huge issue and no real solutions.

I love visiting with her and appreciate that she does a lot of research and seems up-to-date on supplements, solutions and issues. She is a good listener and takes my suggestions seriously.

I booked my annual visit with her and her first available appointment is in February 2025. I will see her PA twice between now and then and she is always quick to respond to my questions and concern via My Chart messages.

After I left the doctor’s office I went to Chipotle and had lunch. It is one of my favorite places to eat and I reward myself after most doctor appointments in Topeka with a stop.

I then went to Hy-Vee and got a turkey and ham. The first turkey I looked at weighted a little over 25 pounds. Score one for me! I got that and a 12 pound ham. We should have plenty of both to eat for Thanksgiving. I picked up a few other things while I was there. They had butter on sale so got four pounds of that. I had remembered to take my cooler so I was good to get refrigerator things. Also got some yogurt and a few other things on my list.

The drive up and back was easy. When I got home I asked Kathy if she ever had out-loud conversations with herself when she was alone in the car. She said she did and even does it downstairs. Glad I am not the only one. I had the best conversation with myself on the way to Topeka. I realized how different I sound now then I would have a year ago. Progress on my healing journey! I appreciate it and am grateful for it and all those that helped me get here.

I need to take trash down to the curb and do chicken chores when I get done writing. It is in the mid 70’s out today but a touch windy. It was a beautiful day to drive to Topeka. Most of the road construction on the turnpike has been completed. Getting off in Topeka was a bit weird as they are repairing the exit bridge but getting on to come home was no problem.

Tomorrow mid-day I am going to town to get my haircut. I had it cut before I went on vacation the first part of September and haven’t had it cut since. It is way overdue to be cut. I got my hairdresser a bag of peppermint bark candy today and I will also give him two dozen eggs as his Christmas present tomorrow as I won’t see him again until after Christmas. I’m such a big spender! Ha!

Thursday I have to go back to Topeka to see the retina specialist. Sure hoping I get good news there too. Kathy is going with me as it is hard for me to drive home after getting my eyes dilated. I hate when they do that. I usually get almost a migraine headache from it.

If my eyes adjust back to normal, I will go back in to Emporia Thursday afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer. I told her I might not be able to come. I need to be able to drive and sometimes that takes me a bit to do that after my eyes are treated.

Nothing else is on my calendar through the weekend. I need to start cleaning house Friday and get it in shape so I can have Tuesday and Wednesday next week free to buy groceries and start cooking. Hoping we get some rain over the weekend like the forecast is calling for so the dust will settle a bit and things will stay dust free for longer than a day.

I managed to get the rest of the tea towels stamped without mishap last night. I still can’t believe I screwed up twice using the same pattern. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself and the silly things I do. Grateful I had extra tea towels on hand and it didn’t create a problem.

This is day 10 of a weight loss plateau. I hate when I do that. I remember doing it last time I lost weight. Part of the process but man is it hard not to see that number on the scale drop. I will keep on doing what I am doing and sooner or later the scale will be my friend again.

One of the Christmas presents I ordered for the grandkids came in today. I should be receiving lots of packages over the next week or so. Always relieved when they show up. I have until December 9 so should have plenty of time for them all to get here. I will need some time to get them wrapped too.

Sitting in a very good place today. I loved the conversation I had with my Endocrinologist today. She made me feel heard and seen. I trust her judgement and advice. Can’t ask for much more then that from a doctor.

Grateful for good news at the doctor’s office today, grateful I found a bigger turkey and ham today, and grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka.

I have been working on stamping tea towels today. I stamped one upside down so tried it again and I did the same damn thing again! Man! Sometimes the simple things in life are not so simple. Third time was a charm and I got it. I took a break after that and need to get back to stamping the rest of them. Trusting the embroidery will be easier then the stamping.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie. Loving temperatures in the high 60’s for mid November. Hope it stays this way for several more weeks. We sure could use some rain though.

I have to be at my Endocrinologist office by 10:45 in the morning for my 11:00 appointment. She usually runs pretty close to on time and the visit will be short as all my labs came back normal. After that appointment I am going to Chipotle for lunch and then to a grocery store to get a ham and a turkey. Hoping to find a big turkey but a smaller one will work since I am fixing a ham this year too. I need to remember to put the cooler in the car before I leave tomorrow. I need some yogurt and would rather not have to stop in Emporia when I come home.

Thursday I have to go back to Topeka to go to the retina specialist. Kathy is going with me then as they will dilate my eyes and it is hard to drive when they do that. Hoping this will be a quick and easy visit and they won’t have to do laser surgery again. I will be interested in seeing how my cataracts are doing. From what I have read, you are almost guaranteed to get cataracts after having a retina detachment which I had earlier this year.

No plans for the weekend. I will need to get my housecleaning done so the house is ready for the company coming Thanksgiving Day. I still have room at our table if you need a place to have dinner. I always fix way too much food and have plenty of room available. The more – the merrier. I love having a full house that day.

I need to check with Ellexia to see if she is cheering this week. I haven’t heard yet. She usually has games on Tuesdays and Thursday and since I have to go to Topeka I may need to skip this week if she is cheering.

I got all my Christmas presents ordered earlier this week. I shall see if they all come in and are what I want. I like to allow lots of extra time as I don’t like the stress of last minute shopping. It will be good to get them all here and accounted for. Then I can get them wrapped and be done. Shopping for others, or even myself, is not my favorite thing to do.

Went back and read some old blogs last night. I can see things in them now that I wasn’t seeing at the time. It is amazing how often I fell into the muck pond a couple of years ago. That should have been a clue for me that something wasn’t right. I rarely fall in these days and if I do, I don’t hang out there like I used to. Funny how the obvious isn’t so obvious when you are in the middle of it.

I’m grateful for my blog. It is a wonderful record of my life and how I have changed over time. I was reading some that happened when Covid first started. Oh my, what a time that was. I still wonder what the long-term effects on all of us are from that time. I don’t think we have seen the last of it either. The world is a different place now and was forever changed as a result of Covid. Wonder what my grandkids will tell their kids about living through Covid when they are my age?

This is my third day at home and I have loved every minute of it. I’m grateful the effect of the Shingles vaccine was limited to one day of it. I did run a bit of a temperature last night but it never got over 100.5 so it wasn’t bad. Haven’t run one today so think I am over it. The reaction wasn’t as bad as I feared it might be. I will get my second vaccine for shingles sometime in January when I have a couple free days in a row.

Sirius has their Christmas music channel up and running. The best part of Christmas for me is the music. I will play it almost daily between now and Christmas. I rarely get tired of it. Not sure what it is about Christmas music but it touches my very soul and stirs up long ago memories. I must be getting old!

The only other part of Christmas I like is making special Christmas goodies. I will get those started the week after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I have made many of them for the grandkids throughout the year so they won’t be quite as special for them this year. They seem to taste better when you only get them once a year. I haven’t made them for several months so maybe they will be special this year.

Sitting in a good head space today even with my tea towel stamping mishap. Things are still shifting inside as a result of the boundary work I am doing and learning. I feel my personal power returning. It has been missing for some time. The empty space inside is feeling like it is full of potential and possibilities and that is a good feeling.

Grateful for past blogs that remind me of how I have changed, grateful for three free days at home, and grateful my Christmas shopping is done.

I am feeling back to normal today. Yesterday was a bit tough but the reaction to the vaccine is over and I am back to normal. I have even gotten a few cleaning chores done today. So grateful it only lasted 24 hours.

Had an interesting experience today with boundaries. Someone, with the best of intentions, violated my boundaries today. I was able to immediately recognize it for what it was and was able to respond appropriately. When things continued to escalate, I was able to remove myself from the situation. Wow! That was easy!

I have been thinking all morning how there have been times in the past when I was the one that violated other people’s boundaries. Even though I had the best of intentions, it was still a violation. The class I took gave me a visual description of boundaries that was ever so helpful to me this morning.

Put yourself in a box and draw a border around it. Within this box are your beliefs, feelings, opinions, truths, dreams, fears, etc. that people don’t know about you unless you have shared them with someone. Draw a bigger box around that box and the space between the two boxes is what my class instructor calls your garden. The garden holds things that most people easily know about you. Examples might include where you live, if you are single or married, how many children you have, your profession, and perhaps causes that you hold near to you and share openly, etc. Those two boxes represent all that you ever need to be concerned about.

Whatever anyone else has in their own garden or inner box, is their business to hold and carry. I don’t have the right to agree or disagree with whatever people carry in their gardens and others don’t get to agree or disagree with what I choose to carry in my garden.

When someone offers you unsolicited advice, they have come uninvited into your garden and that is a boundary violation. The instructor of the class uses the motto “Honor Self and Honor Others”. That means when someone violates your boundaries, the first thing you do is honor self and recognize the behavior for what it is – a boundary violation. No one has to tolerate this violation of their own personal garden space. Then you honor the violator by gently telling them thanks, but no thanks. If the behavior continues you then take action to disengage yourself from them in what ever way feels appropriate. If the violation continues in the future, then you can disengage even further from them.

Somehow having a visual, helped me to see the behavior today for what it was and made it easy to recognize. My prayer is now I will remember not to violate someone else’s boundaries, regardless of how good intentioned I am. What happened today was not vicious or meant to cause harm. They sincerely were trying to help me. But, it was still a boundary violation and one that I needed to respond to.

I choose a course of action that was new to me and I handled the situation much differently then I would have in the past. That felt good! This class was worth taking. Ever so grateful I was able to recognize what was happening and take the appropriate action. I was able to stay out of blame and anger and not get pulled into a negative spiral.

Now I need to remember this lesson when I am on the other side of the garden and am tempted to offer unsolicited advice to others. “Not my garden, not my business” is my new motto.

I got the patterns I am going to stamp on tea towels cut out and ready to go. I need to go downstairs and dig out the blank tea towels and get them stamped. It will be fun to work them up. The pattern ended up having 20 patterns so will be able to make three sets of tea towels if I repeat one of the patterns. Embroidery work is relaxing for me so looking forward to getting at them.

Got my office cleaned today. Tagen had pulled out the bookcase to unhook his gaming devices when he moved and I had never bothered to push it back into place. I cleaned behind it today and got it put back together again. I had stacked some give away boxes in the office and I moved those to my car so I can get rid of them. Little things but it feels so good.

Not feeling well yesterday reminded me how grateful I need to be everyday that I wake up and feel good. I should never take my health for granted and need to appreciate more the good days.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today with bright blue skies. The temperature is in the high 60’s. It is a touch windy but not bad. It can stay this way the rest of winter.

Kathy and I both looked for the Northern Lights last night. We both saw some light rims that were unusual but not sure they were the Northern Lights. Maybe? Seeing the Northern Lights is still on my bucket list. I came ever so close on the flight to the UK this fall. They were gone by the time I was told about them.

Feeling like I have opened a lot of free space within me. Not carrying other people’s stuff is freeing. I really had no idea how much of it I had been doing. The free space inside feels wonderful and light.

Grateful for the lesson on boundaries today, grateful the effects of the vaccine were short-lived, and grateful for the empty space within.

Grateful I had nothing on my calendar to do today as nothing would have gotten done. The vaccine side effect hit me during the night. I woke up shivering and cold to the bone in the middle of the night. I finally got up and got some Tylenol and then turned on my electric blanket.

My temperature has bounced between 100.0 and 101.5 all day today. I have a bad headache and feel achy. Hoping the worst of it is over and by tomorrow I will be back to normal.

I managed to eat a cup of chicken with rice soup sometime today. May try some yogurt in a bit but may not. Am doing my best to get fluids down so I don’t get dehydrated.

From what I have read this reaction can last up to three days but am hoping for only today. Not fun! I feel better right now then I have all day so maybe the worst is over.

Grateful I had a free day today, grateful for chicken with rice soup, and grateful for water to drink.

I went to Emporia around 11:00 to get my shingles vaccine. I had gotten the other series of them but supposedly this new vaccine is much more effective. Came home with a headache and took some Tylenol and have felt fine since. Crossing my fingers I don’t wake up not feeling well tomorrow but we shall see. I have the next three days free in case I have a reaction.

While I was at Walmart I picked up some groceries. Got the stuff to make a big batch of Chex Mix which is one of my kiddos favorite things. Got a few gifts for our Christmas games as well as a few other things for my Thanksgiving Dinner. Walmart had turkey size roasting bags today so got those.

Cleaned out my bedroom closet today as well as all the bathroom drawers. Feels good to have those places organized and clutter removed. I can now find what I am looking for without digging through a drawer.

No plans for the weekend. Pioneer Bluffs is having an event tomorrow. I would like to go hear the panel discussion on bison and may go down for that but I will see how I am feeling. Things always sound fun to go to until I have to leave the house and go and then they don’t sound as fun. I do like to stay home.

I ordered a new tea towel pattern and it came in today. I may go down and dig out some blank tea towels and get them stamped and get to work embroidering them. I love doing that and haven’t done it for a long time. I still have over a dozen sets I have done before that I haven’t found a home for. This pattern was so cute I couldn’t resist ordering it. I’ll see how I do with it and may end up doing a bunch more sets. Not sure what I will do with them but that has never stopped me before!

Made a crock pot of green chicken today. It was yummy. I needed something different to eat for my lunch/dinner. That fit the bill. I have leftovers for the next couple of days. It is so easy to fix and I really like it. You put raw chicken tenderloins in the crock pot and dump a bottle of green salsa or guacamole dip over them and cook on high for 3 -4 hours. They are very tender and have a wonderful flavor.

I am up to 11 confirmed people coming for Thanksgiving dinner and have six or eight on a maybe list. Still have room for more. Heavens know I fix enough food for 30 or more. Please come if you are looking for a place to have dinner Thanksgiving Day. We will eat around 1:00. No reservations needed and no need to bring anything. I love having a full house that day. When you have abundance in your life, build a bigger table! I have abundance in my life and am working on building a bigger table.

I got some Christmas cards while I was at Costco last weekend. I need to start getting them addressed. I am waiting for some inspiration to write my annual Christmas letter. One of these days I will find the right words to describe this year. It has been a challenging one in many ways but there have been some incredibly wonderful things happen too. Not too many people still do Christmas cards these days. I hate to see that tradition go away.

The kiddos are slowly giving me their Christmas wish list. So far they have each only given me one thing. I got those things ordered. I still need a couple more ideas from Ellexia and then they will be taken care of. Jason gave me some ideas for Cody so will attempt to get his gifts ordered sometime this weekend. I like to allow for lots of time for things to get here so I am not stressing about them. I am not the best at buying gifts for others and like to get it done and over with.

It’s funny how organizing and cleaning out closets and drawers make me feel. The house feels cleaner to me already and I am not near done cleaning. The house also feels calmer and less chaotic to me. Doesn’t make sense from a logic perspective but from an emotional one it does. Still have some cabinets in the kitchen to clean out and a miscellaneous drawer here or there to go through, Wonder how long they will stay clutter free?

Grateful for vaccines that reduce the severity of diseases or even prevents disease in my body, grateful for the Christmas shopping I have completed, and grateful for new tea towel patterns to work up.

I got a bonus full day at home as Ellexia’s cheerleading got canceled for the day. Always grateful when I get to stay home all day.

Took the chickens some straw when I did chores today. As it gets colder I use the deep straw method to help keep them warmer. Every month during the cold months I add a thick layer of straw to their coop and don’t clean out the old stuff. They love having new straw put into the coop. They will spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the day tomorrow rearranging it to their liking. They are fun to watch do that.

Had a good conversation with a dear friend. We haven’t seen each other for a long time and needed to catch up with each other. The road to Manhattan opens November 22 so sometime shortly after that we will meet in Council Grove and have a long lunch together. Face-to-face is always more fun for me then over the phone.

Still working on finishing up cleaning my bedroom and bathroom. Last night I cleaned out my underwear and sock drawer. I threw away some socks that I didn’t like and won’t wear as well as some underwear that had long since seen better days. Got the bedside night stand drawers cleaned out. It feels so good to have those things cleaned out. I have a couple drawers in the bathroom that need cleaned out too. I don’t like cluttered drawers and not being able to find what I want immediately.

Tomorrow I have to be at Walmart at 11:20 to get the first of my shingles vaccine. I have the weekend free in case I have a reaction to it. Next thing on my calendar isn’t until Tuesday when I have to be in Topeka by 10:45 to see my Endocrinologist. I get to go back to Topeka Thursday to see my retinal specialist.

We were without power between 8:00 and 11:00 this morning. The electric company had called, emailed and texted me to let me know this was going to happen. I appreciate their efforts to keep me informed of the planned outage. They had promised it would be back on by noon and they beat their promise by an hour. I love companies that do that!

It has only reached the upper 50’s today but the wind is light and it felt warmer then that when I did chicken chores. We have another two days of the mid 50’s and then it is to be in the low 60’s for a bit. Liking this weather! I’m not excited to see cold temperatures head our way. Wish there was a good chance for rain soon but not seeing that in the forecast yet.

Two weeks from today is Thanksgiving. I still have room at my table if anyone is looking for a place to gather for dinner. No need to bring anything and no reservations needed. We are eating at 1:00 and will have plenty of food. I am serving both turkey and ham and all the trimmings.

I keep checking my grocery list for the big dinner day and I think it is complete. I will pick up a turkey next week so it can start thawing and then the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I will go get the rest of the stuff to fix the meal with. I will probably not do it on-line although I may. I don’t like when they don’t have something when I order on-line as sometimes I can find something in person to substitute for the item. I don’t allow them to make substitutes for me though as I don’t know what they might pick.

Things continue to shift inside as a result of watching the boundary class. I am letting things settle in and then I want to watch the class again. Sometimes when I repeat a class, I can pick out nuances that I missed the first time around. This is important stuff to me and I need to make sure I get it as completely as I am able to accept it. Still haven’t decided about taking the full course but will continue to sit with it and decide later.

Trying to come up with Christmas game ideas for our family Christmas Day December 9. I may repeat what I did last year if I can’t find a new one. The kids all enjoy them and they were easy for me to do. With some time and planning, I can come up with better prizes this year then I did last year.

I need to make a list of Christmas goodies that I am going to make and make a grocery list for them. Since we are having Christmas early this year, I will have to get started on them right after Thanksgiving. I don’t plan on making as much stuff this year as I did last year. Most of the kids are trying to eat healthier and if no one eats it, why make it. I certainly won’t eat any of it. I do like making it though.

Sitting in a good spot this afternoon. I love having a clean house and am grateful I am finding the motivation to get this place clean again. I let it go way too long again. I gave up keeping it spotless all the time some time ago. That was requiring way too much of my time and energy that I could have spent in better ways. I think though I have let the pendulum swing too far the other way. Hard for me to find balance in things sometimes.

Grateful the chickens have fresh straw to play with, grateful to have an organized underwear and sock drawer, and grateful for the beauty of this fall day.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Must have slept too much the night before. May need to take a nap yet this afternoon. My energy is starting to run low.

I am working on cleaning my bedroom and bathroom. I have the bedroom almost done and part of the bathroom done. I found lots and lots of dirt. It has been awhile since I cleaned the bedroom. I did do the bathroom not too long ago but it has plenty of dirt too. This house sits on top of a hill and catches lots of dust.

It is in the mid 60’s today but windy so it doesn’t feel that warm. We had a slight chance for some rain earlier today but all we got was a thick fog. I don’t see any chances of rain in the longer range forecast. It is getting very dry again.

Winter Solstice is six weeks from tomorrow. Grateful we only have six more weeks of increasing darkness. These last six weeks can be very intense for those of us doing our inner work. I get the feeling Spirit isn’t fooling around this year and is creating situations for me to do some deep inner work. The world needs light bearers desperately right now and the best way to be one is to focus on my inner self and becoming the best self I can be. The light within shines brighter when one does their inner work. That light is contagious and I truly believe that is what will bring about world peace. Person to person the light can be passed and anger, greed and shame can be brought to the light and healed.

I scheduled my Shingles vaccine for Friday. I have been told the side effects can knock one out for a couple of days. I don’t have anything going on until next Tuesday so have the freedom to take a couple days to recover if needed. I had gotten the old version of the vaccine but have been told the new one is much more effective.

I sent an email to my grandkids telling them I need Christmas ideas. We are having our family Christmas December 9 and that is only a month away. Time to get my shopping done. I don’t like the pressure of doing it last minute. Ellexia’s birthday is December 11 so will have to double up for her. I ordered a fancy birthday cake to take to the family dinner so we can celebrate her birthday too. Tagen’s birthday is in January so the kiddos get back to back celebrations and presents.

So very pleased with the national election results last night. Sounds like abortion rights is what most of the country wants and people are willing to be a single issue voter to achieve that. The Supreme Court screwed up on that one. Hoping they will come to their senses and reverse the damage they are causing.

Chase County reported some precincts where no one in that district voted. Wonder how they determine the winners? Wonder why no one voted? The curious mind wants to know!

Tomorrow afternoon I will probably go in and watch Ellexia cheer. When she comes out on the court she looks at the crowd to see if anyone is there for her. Her parents both have to work during game times so I am the only one that can go. She will nod at me when she sees me but doesn’t like to wave at me. I get it! One does have to be cool when they are in the eighth grade!

Friday I have to go back to town to get my vaccine and then I will stay home until Tuesday when I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. I have managed to go to town everyday this week except for today. It will be good to stay home all weekend.

I still need to get a turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. I may stop at a grocery store in Topeka I like and see what they have. I haven’t seen a turkey over 21 pounds yet and I prefer a much bigger one. Although since I am fixing ham this year too, I probably won’t need bigger than 21 pounds. If I can’t find one in Topeka I’ll get a smaller one. I need to have it by next Thursday so I can start thawing it. Those suckers take a while to thaw in the refrigerator.

I have gotten most of the non-perishable things on my Thanksgiving grocery list. I will have a cart full when I go get the perishable things the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Hope the store isn’t out of anything. One year they were out of celery and I had to go to three different stores to find some. I am still not used to shortages. I just don’t remember that happening so much before Covid.

Sitting above the neutral level of consciousness today, even with little sleep. Something is shifting inside in a good way. The boundary class I took has helped me find my personal power in a new way. Still thinking about taking the full class but there is a component or two I am not sure I would enjoy and not sure I want to pay that much and not get the full benefit of the class. I have another couple of weeks to decide in order to get the reduced price.

Grateful the cleaning project has begun, grateful for temperatures in the mid 60’s and grateful for the positive shift that is happening within.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I was tired, it was dark and I had nothing better to do. I was surprised I slept most of the night. I needed a good night’s sleep.

I went to Cottonwood Falls this morning to vote. There was only one contested race on my ballet. All the ballet was local races and nothing state or national. I am becoming more and more aware though of the need to pay more attention to local races. I’m getting concerned about school boards, in particular, and how the far right is attempting to influence them.

KU Research Center called me today and did a phone interview. According to the ER doctor, I had an episode of AFib when I had my thyroid storm way back in 2017. A Cardiologist has followed me since. At the time the Cardiologist did not see evidence of me having AFib but it got registered on my file and has not yet been removed. It raised a red flag for this program but they are going to send a form to the Cardiologist and as long as he approves me being in the program I should pass to the next level.

They are to call me in about three months and do yet another intake of some sort and if I pass that I then have to go to KU for day of testing. They do physical test via a full body scan, a brain MRI and blood work and they do a two-hour memory test. If I pass all of those, I will then get set up in for the work-out program. I have to work out five days a week for 30 -45 minutes a time depending on which group I am randomly assigned to. For the first three to four months, I will have a personal trainer three days a week. More testing will be done and the personal trainer drops back to two days a week and towards the end of the year I will have one for one day a week. They repeat all the testing at the end of the program. They pay me $600 if I continue with the program all the way through. Not bad as they also pay for the gym membership and the personal trainer.

This program is what I need to motivate me and make me show up but I am disappointed that I won’t be able to get started for four to six months. Maybe the timing is perfect though as by then I will have dropped the extra weight and will be needing something to help me keep the weight off.

I loaned my knee scooter to a cousin who’s young son broke his ankle. I went to go to the middle school to watch Ellexia cheer so passed it off to them there. He will be the third person I have loaned the scooter too. Grateful it has found some use.

I watched Ellexia cheer. The girls won the game but it was a nail-biter. This was the first real competition they have had all year. They are fun to watch and I enjoy watching their coach. I think she does a good job from what I can see. The other team’s coach yelled at the girls all during the game. I am not sure how the players could concentrate on playing and listening to her at the same time.

I took Ellexia home and we stopped and got her some food. She texted Tagen and Michelle for their orders and we took supper home to them. It was good to see the three of them for a hot minute.

It was dark by the time I got home. I’m not used to it being dark by now. I do like the earlier morning light and wish we would stay on regular time all year long. I don’t mind which time we are on but I really dislike the changing back and forth.

I am free all day tomorrow and need to do some house cleaning. I had put it off as I thought the window guys were coming and would make a mess. Since they aren’t coming until after Thanksgiving I no longer have an excuse to not clean. This house needs cleaned up before Thanksgiving gets here.

Thursday Ellexia is cheering again at 3:30 so will go back to town to watch her again. I don’t have any plans for the weekend. Next week I have to go to two different doctor appointments in Topeka. One is on Tuesday and one is on Thursday. That will make next week feel busy and the next week is Thanksgiving. Yikes! The holiday season is almost here.

I picked up a prescription from Walmart today. It is my thyroid medication. It is usually $154 a month but this time it was only $75. Not sure why but am grateful for the lower amount. My insurance doesn’t cover it so I use Good RX. Still don’t understand how the price drops with Good RX when I don’t pay Good RX anything but it does. If you haven’t heard of Good RX it is worth looking into.

Feeling more settled and grounded now. Grateful for the shift in my thinking and thoughts. It is exhausting to have anxiety. Anxiety seems to rev up my central nervous system and I am fight or flight mode and there is nothing to fight or flight from.

Grateful for the possibility with the KU research project, grateful for getting to see Michelle and the kiddos for a hot minute today, and grateful the scooter found another way to be useful.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I had forgotten to change my bedside clock so I was really confused as to what time it was this morning. It helped remind me that time is an illusion and not real. We use time to organize society but the only time we really have is this moment.

Went to Emporia mid-afternoon to work my shift at the Friends of the Library book sale. I went a bit early so I could start filling my bag. By the end of my shift, my bag was full. Today you could get a grocery sack full of books for $10. Tomorrow and Wednesday a bag will be $5 and Thursday morning a bag will be $2. Plenty of good books left.

We were nice and steady but not really busy. I moved books up from the bottom shelf to the upper shelves so they are easier for people to see. Most of the time I sat and people watched.

There was a mother, dad and three kids under 5 that came in. Dad tried to handle the two older ones and mom had the littlest one. Dad gave up and took the oldest and youngest to the car so mom could fill her bag. I ending up entertaining the kiddo as mom was pretty focused on books. He was a typical three-year-old full of energy. I got some books and we read books together. He ended up sitting in my lap for a bit. Cute kiddo and it was fun to play with him for a short while. That mom has her hands full with the three of them.

Stopped at Walmart and picked up my grocery order when my shift was over at the library. They were out of turkey size cooking bags. Sometimes I have to scratch my head and wonder how they let that happen.

Had a couple of interesting phone calls with my window company. Two weeks ago I called the scheduling manager to get an update. I left a message and he didn’t call me back. Last week I called and left another message and still didn’t hear from him. I called the salesman Thursday and I hadn’t heard back from him.

When I called today I asked for the owner of the business. The lady that answers the phone said he was out of the office but I could leave a message. I told her I was tired of leaving messages as no one calls me back.

She got on the case and within 10 minutes my salesman called me. Shortly after that I had a conversation with the scheduling manager. They had told me the week I got home from my trip the end of September that the windows were due in anytime and then they needed two weeks to get them ready to install. We agreed that they would be here by November 1 to install unless I heard back from them. I told them I needed to coordinate with the EFIS guy so I needed to know when they were coming and they agreed to call to update me. No one has contacted me to tell me any different. I had expected them to show up last week and had the EFIS guy scheduled to come the 10th.

Found out today they won’t be here until the week after Thanksgiving. That means the EFIS guy is delayed until December. He can only work if the temperature is above 40 for 24 hours before and all during the time that he does the work.

I was really angry when I talked to the two guys. I told them their lack of communication was unacceptable and I had expected better from them. They both promised to do better. We shall see.

I’m really worried that the EFIS repair will get delayed until spring time now. They have to cut the EFIS to install the windows which means moisture can get in until it gets repaired. Wondering if I should delay the install of the windows until spring too. Dang it anyways. I hate situations like this. Wish Kansas weather was a bit more predictable. Any construction experts reading this that can offer me some advice as to what to do?

Tomorrow I have to go back to town so I can watch Ellexia cheer. I need to remember to go vote before I to to Emporia. There isn’t much on the ballet this year but I hate to miss voting. Most of the positions don’t have any competition so there won’t be much suspense about who wins and there isn’t much motivation to vote.

The lady from the KU med center research program is to call me at 2:00 tomorrow. Hoping I get accepted and we get the next step scheduled. This has been a long process to get this program started.

The rest of the week is free and clear. Ellexia is cheering again Thursday night if I decide to go in again to see her. I offered to let her and her best friend come home with me after the game and spend the night. They don’t have school Friday. Haven’t heard if they have accepted my offer. I miss having the kiddos here.

Felt good to be in service this afternoon. I need to find a regular volunteer opportunity to do. I enjoy giving back to my community in ways when I am not in charge of anything.

My anxiety level seems to have dropped since I figured out what was behind it. I investigated and I can’t do anything about the situation unless something happens. Even knowing that, I have felt my anxiety lessening. It sure helped to identify what was causing it and step into allowing that. It may flare back up as the time gets closer but for now it is better and I will take that.

Grateful for a fun three-year-old today, grateful for this beautiful fall day with an absolutely breathtaking sunset tonight, and grateful for what sleep I did get.

I picked up Michelle, Tagen and Ellexia a little after 11:00 this morning and we headed to KC. We met up with Jason, Nicole, Geoff, Craig and Nancy and had lunch at Jack Stack’s. The food was delicious and the company was divine. It is always a good day when I get to see all my kids.

After lunch we had some time free so we went to Costco. Between Michelle and I we filled the back of my car with things I didn’t know I needed.

We then went to Craig’s brother Joe’s Celebration of Life service. It was beautifully organized and there was a nice crowd. I hadn’t seen Craig’s nephews for a long time so it was good to see them as well as Joe’s wife. Joe was well loved and it was an emotional afternoon for all who attended.

We came home afterwards and I got home around 5:45 after stopping to fill my car with gas. Kathy helped me unload my car from my Costco shopping trip. It was almost dark by the time I got home and was grateful when Kathy told me she had taken care of chicken chores. I have a headlight flashlight I can use when I do chores at night but was grateful I didn’t have to use it tonight.

The temperature reached the mid 70’s today. It was a nice day to go to KC. Traffic was light coming home and the trip felt easy today.

The kids agreed to having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day at 1:00. Nicole and Geoff don’t try to make it for Thanksgiving as they host his side of the family’s dinner. Jason had three or four dinners to go to and sometimes can come and sometimes not. I will need to find lots of extra people to come so I have a house full. Nothing pleases me more then to have 20 – 24 people at my house for Thanksgiving. So let this serve as an invitation to one and all. Come if you can and bring friends, family and neighbors with you. No need to bring anything but your beautiful self and others. Tagen requested I fix ham and macaroni and cheese so that will be on the menu as well as turkey and the trimmings. Ellexia wants green beans so we will have those too.

Craig and Nancy are hosting a Christmas gathering for the kids on December 9th. They and the kids agreed to let me crash their party and that will serve as our one and only family Christmas gathering this year. It is hard for Nicole and Geoff to get down closer to Christmas and Jason and Melissa always have several family events to go to too. This way we can get it over for everyone early and be done.

I dislike Christmas so this means I don’t have to put a tree up and it will be over early for me. I will have to get myself organized and figure out what I am going to do this year for gifts. We don’t give lots of gifts and we even decided not to do the White Elephant thing we have done for several years. No one needs anything and some of us don’t like clutter and getting things we don’t need/want. Simple is the key to having a beautiful celebration. For me the time with my kids is priceless and everything else really doesn’t mean much.

I asked the kids about Christmas treats and no one seemed too interested in them. Most of us have reduced or cut out eating sugary things and really don’t want it tempting us. I will make some fudge, chocolate covered peanut butter balls and Chex Mix and call it good this year. Simply and easy! Maybe I will enjoy Christmas more this year.

Tomorrow afternoon I am volunteering at the Friends of the Library book sale. They will be selling a bag of books for $10. I will probably come home with a bag for myself. After my shift is over I am picking up a Walmart order. I didn’t need much this week but did order some more non-perishable things I need for Thanksgiving Day dinner.

Tuesday the research project team is to call me for a phone interview in the afternoon. When that is done I will head to Emporia to watch Ellexia cheer. I need to remember to vote Tuesday morning as I forgot to do advance voting.

I got my A1C results back and they were 5.4. It is almost too low but I certainly don’t show any signs of having diabetes. That is a relief. I am wondering if the lightheadedness I get sometimes is due to low blood sugar. When my blood pressure goes low and if I have low blood sugar that would explain what is happening to me sometimes. I’ll have to read what to do about low blood sugar and how I can raise it a bit. I won’t go back to eating sugar so will have to research and see what other options I have.

Today was another reminder that time is not guaranteed to any of us. It makes the time I spend with my kids feel even more priceless and valuable. Say I love you often, forgive easily and reach out to others to stay in touch. You never know when it will be yours or their last day on earth.

Grateful for the time with family today, grateful our holiday plans are set, and grateful my A1C results showed I am not diabetic.

Kathy and I were at the Health Fair around 7:00 this morning. We carried everything in and got our table set up. We were ready to go by 7:15.

I had a blood draw today to check my A1C. I have never had it checked before that I know of and took advantage of this opportunity to do so. My blood glucose has always been in the normal range so really don’t think I have an issue but thought I would have it checked. I had big babies back in the day and was told then that I was at high risk for developing diabetes as an older adult. They offered several blood tests today at a minimal cost. They will mail me the results next week.

I have no idea how many people were there today. There must have been 25 – 20 vendors and most had two people per table. We only got rid of about 35 Beanie Babies that had our business card attached. I would be surprised if they had over 50 guests though.

It was interesting to watch people’s reaction when they found out we are Death Doulas. Most didn’t know what to say and many got away quickly and didn’t want to go there. Some engaged with us and shared some personal stories with us. Those that have helped a loved one through the dying process really understood what we are doing and appreciated it.

We made a few good contacts with people that work in the health care business. We shall see if anyone calls or if anything comes of it. The Health Fair helped rekindle my excitement about doing this work and I saw the real need for it today.

The lady at the table behind us works at Emporia University and was knowledgeable about the KU Med Research program that I am attempting to get into. She gave me a hint for the telephone interview I have Tuesday. I found out if I pass that, the next step is a brain scan in KC at KU Med along with some blood tests. Then I will get hooked up with a personal trainer at Emporia Fitness and will start working out. I’m not sure how often I go each week or when I might get started. I get a free gym membership and free personal trainer for one year. They pay me to go to KC for sporadic tests so they can see my progress. I trust I will get accepted and can start working out. My body is needing to move more.

When we got home, Kathy told me Sophia had a paw that she was licking. I checked it and she had an in-grown dew claw. I got it clipped and pulled out of where it was growing in. I cut the claw too short and it bled for a bit. Sophia seemed to know we were helping her and was very patient and calm. I put some Manuka Honey on the sore. I’ll check it again Monday morning and see if I need to take her in for some medication from the vet. Grateful Kathy had noticed it and said something to me.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. I did manage about four hours in two – two hour segments. Man I hate this! I had quit taking my sleep aide and am starting to wonder if my body is having withdrawal symptoms from me not taking it. I will take it again every other day and see if that helps. I need sleep badly!

It is colder today then it was forecast to be. It is only in the mid 50’s. I’ll have to put a coat on to do the chickens. I only wore a sweater today and froze most of the morning. We were by the back doors that were propped open and the cold air was blowing in. I took my breakfast with me in a cooler and the yogurt froze. That didn’t help me warm up at all.

We came home to the house smelling delicious. I remembered to put the pot roast in the crock pot before I left. It was wonderful. I love carrots cooked with a pot roast. Plenty of leftovers for another couple of meals. I am going to let it cook for another hour or so. It was done when I ate it but I like it falling apart and it wasn’t quite there yet.

Tomorrow I am picking Michelle and Tagen up a little after 11:00 and we are going to KC. We are meeting Nicole and Jason for lunch and then going to Craig’s brother’s celebration of life. I’m grateful I get some time with all three of my kids before it. That will make the trip worthwhile. The Celebration of Life will be a bit bittersweet.

I need to remember to take a check and deposit it while I am in Emporia tomorrow. I have to go again Monday if I forget tomorrow. I volunteer at the Friends of the Library book sale Monday afternoon.

Ellexia told me she is cheering Tuesday and Thursday this week. I will try to go to at least one of them if not both. Last time when she came out she looked for me. She smiled at me but didn’t wave. She is way too grown up for that I guess.

I finally figured out where my anxiety is coming from and will investigate doing something about it. Not sure what can be done but will find out. Grateful I figured out why I was so anxious and having almost panic attacks. Grateful I was able to find some quiet time to listen to my inner voice and was able to hear it. When I can figure out why I am feeling what I am feeling, the feeling tends to leave quicker.

Grateful for being able to participate in the health fair, grateful for the contacts we made, and grateful Kathy is by my side for this new business we are starting.

I am still trying to type October instead of November. Need to catch up with the times! Time seems to be flying by right now. The weather changing doesn’t help. It is the low 70s today. Feels more like September or October. It is to stay in the 60’s and 70’s through mid week next week. I’ll take the warmer weather any day even if it does confuse me.

I don’t think I got two hours of sleep last night. It was one of those nights that I could not fall asleep and if I fell asleep, I couldn’t stay asleep. It was after 6:00 this morning before I got any sleep at all. Thinking it will be an early bedtime tonight as I have to be up at 6:00 to leave the house by 6:45 in the morning.

Kathy and I worked on the materials for the Health Fair tomorrow. I got copies made of the description of what we do. Made drawing tags and found something to put them in. Gather up the rest of the stuff I need to take tomorrow. Kathy made a sign for our table and figured out a door prize. I think we are ready to go. It will be fun seeing people and interacting with them. I’m grateful it is only for the morning though. An all day event would drain me completely.

I laid out a pot roast to thaw. I need to remember to put it in the crock pot before I leave in the morning. I got my new beef late August and have only had a couple packages of hamburger. I haven’t been eating much beef lately and need to get started using it. I remembered to buy some carrots last week at the grocery store so I can put them in with the pot roast. I don’t eat potatoes much so won’t bother with those.

Still feeling some remnants of last year in my body. Doing my best to honor the feelings as they come up so I can feel them and then release them, It was a very difficult time for me a year ago and I am so grateful for the friends and family that had my back and supported me through all of it.

I called the window people again but had to leave a message. I’m getting a bit concerned as they had told me they should be here by November 1 and I haven’t heard anything from them. I had told the EFIS guy he could start November 10th, Hoping I hear Monday.

I got a call from the KU research team and they opened up the enrollment for women. They are to call me next week and do a phone interview and hopefully get me set up for the gym. I’m excited that this might be what I was looking for to get me motivated to get to the gym and start working out. The hiking trip to Himalayan is still on my radar but I can’t book it until I work out for several months and know that I will keep that up.

Have a free week next week except for Monday afternoon when I am volunteering to work the Friends of the Library book sale. I don’t have anything else on my calendar for the week. I have some projects to work on at home if I can find the motivation and energy to do so. They seem to wait patiently for me to get to them.

The results of the ultrasound of my throat came back and they are normal. All the thyroid stuff is looking good. I see the Endocrinologist in another ten days or so. She won’t have much to do or say which is a good thing.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon. Most of it is due to lack of sleep but there is something in my body that is trying to get my attention. It may be old feelings from a year ago. Have been taking some time for silence this afternoon so whatever it is can be heard. Sometimes that is all I need to do and this restless feeling goes away. The weekend will be a busy one so hoping I will settle down before the busyness hits.

Grateful for warmer temperatures today, grateful we are ready for the Health Fair, and grateful I can go to bed early tonight.