Starry night on the prairie

Tim came out and fixed my chicken coop door last night.  He cut away about four inches of the mat in front of the door.  He had to take out the screws that held it in place, cut the mat and then put the screws back in.  It only took about 10 minutes to do.  The door opens easier than it ever has.  The latch even works.  Wow!  That was easy!

I had some beef stew in the oven that was smelling really good while he was here.  I sent half of it home with him as a thank you for fixing the door.

I woke up feeling very cranky this morning.  Not sure why other than I didn’t sleep much last night.  A little after noon I went back to bed and was able to sleep really good for several hours.  I’m not so cranky now.  Maybe I just needed a nap!

I tried some CBD oil last night.  The body aches I have had the last few days are gone today.  I’ll try it again tonight.  If I have to trade body aches for being cranky I am not sure what I will do.  Don’t like either one!

Got the final results of the thyroid test the doctor in Houston had ordered.  My levels have dropped from 4.8 pre-surgery and is now down to 1.2.  My level was 2.8 the end of October.  As they are still dropping I am hoping she won’t automatically advise me to have the radioactive iodine treatment.  My goal is to get to zero on this test.  It has been almost three months since surgery.  Not sure how long they allow.

I haven’t stepped foot out of the house yet today.  Too cold out there!  Tomorrow is to be even worse.  I’ll have to go down and lock up the chickens at dusk.  I rigged a heat lamp for them yesterday but the silly girls went outside when Kathy went down this morning and opened their trap door.  May keep their trap door closed tomorrow as it is to be 11 for the high of the day.  I don’t usually use a heat lamp for them but when it gets this cold I felt it was needed for a bit.

My head feels so much quieter this afternoon since my nap.  It was taking me to some really dark places this morning.  I had a weird dream that continued taking me  to a dark place during my nap.  I rarely am aware that I had a dream.  The dream I had today is still in my awareness.  I have learned several tricks to get my head quiet and stop the dark thoughts but none of them were working earlier.

I am grateful I had nothing that needed done today so I could go back to bed today before I said or did something that would have caused harm to anyone, including myself.  Sure wish I knew why it happened.  I guess sometimes I just need to feel the lower vibrations and allow them to be what they are.

It is a better day now, thank heavens.  The sun is shining and the skies are bright blue.  The furnace keeps running or else I would think it is nice enough to go play outside.   I need to check my propane level next time I go out and make sure I have enough to get me through this cold spell.  I don’t think my propane guy has been out lately.  I am on auto-fill so they are to keep an eye on it for me and keep it filled as needed.  Maybe it hasn’t been as cold for as long as it feels like it has.   More than three days is long enough for me!

Cold!  Sunshine!  Working chicken coop door!  All is well on the prairie today!

Michelle and Tim came out for dinner last night so they could pick up the kiddos.  Tim checked out my chicken coop door and needs to come back tonight with the right tools to fix it.  Good thing he is coming back as it froze shut again last night.  It is to be bitterly cold the next three days.  He is going to cut the floor mat away from the bottom of the door area.  Over time the mat has lifted and now that it has water on it the door sticks to it.  He was going to try to sand the door down but it makes more sense to cut the floor mat away.

I went into Emporia this morning to get groceries and pet food.  Hoping not to have to leave the house the next three days.  I don’t like being out when it is single digits outside.

Put a beef stew in the oven when I got home from town.  With cold weather coming it sounded good!  I love the way it makes the house smell while it is cooking.

May run over to Lebo this afternoon to deliver my brothers their Christmas gift of fudge and New Year’s Cookies.  I attempted to give Chad his while I was in town but couldn’t find him.  It will be too cold to go over the weekend.

It finally feels like some empty space has opened up for me.  Absolutely nothing for me to have to do for the next couple of days.  I started a big zig saw puzzle that I may have time to work on.  Trusting my calendar will remain empty and I can stay home and listen to the quiet.

Kathy and Craig got home last night a little after 8:00.  Fast trip to CO.  Sure glad I stayed home and played with grandkids instead.

I was really tired last night but didn’t sleep very well.  For some reason my hamstrings are tight and very sore.  Not sure what I did to give them a reason to yell at me.  It might be the cold weather is bothering them.  Wonder how they will feel by Sunday when it really is to get cold?

Need to go down and put the heater in front of the chicken coop door again so Tim can get in and fix it when he comes out tonight.  Things like that drive me crazy!  Maybe I need to take a house repair 101 class and learn how to fix things myself.

Starting January 1 I am starting a 30 day money challenge.  I won’t buy anything but food, pet food, replenish cleaning and personal supplies, medication and essential home repairs.  I will start making a list when I go to the store and can only buy from my list – no impulse buys.  No new clothes, equipment, tools, or new things.  I will also attempt to clean out my pantry and freezer and only buy food that is perishable.  I will give myself a small eating out allowance each month and when that is gone I can’t go out.  If I am successful for 30 days I may see how long I can sustain it.  I tried this last year and learned a lot about myself and my money habits.  It will be interesting to see what lessons I learn about myself this year.

I view this more as a game I play with myself than anything else.  I make the rules so I can break the rules as needed.  It helps me feel more powerful about how I spend  my money and feels like I am more in charge of my money via it running me.  Life is more fun when I treat it like a game.

Got an email from the National Parks Services and my senior park pass is in the mail.  I ordered it on April 25.  It was to have taken 4 – 6 weeks.  They must have been overwhelmed with how many were ordered.  Sure wish the government was as forgiving with me if I was late with a tax payment.

Empty space at last!  All is well on the frozen prairie today!

 

I didn’t get much sleep last night. It was a busy night around here. The kiddos and I all went to bed in my queen sized bed. Tagen fell right to sleep a little after 8:00. Ellexia had trouble falling asleep and was up until 9:00. At 11:30 I crawled out of my bed and went to lay on the couch in the living room. It was a bit crowded in my own bed.

Ellexia came to the living room around 2:00. She laid on my tummy with me on the couch until she decided to go sleep on the recliner around 2:30. Sophia woke me up at 4:30 as she wanted to go outside. After I let Sophia in at 5:00 I went back to sleep in my own bed with Tagen.

Sophia wanted out again at 6:30 and Ellexia came and got in the big bed to join us at 7:00. We all finally got up at 8:00. Sure doesn’t feel like I got much sleep last night. Tagen slept for 12 hours! I’m jealous.

I fixed Ellexia scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes and Tagen waffles for breakfast. They are both a bit cranky today so they have been separated for an hour or so. Usually after I separate them they can figure out a way to play nice together again.

Still haven’t been able to get my chicken coop door open.  Tim said he would come out after he gets off work tonight and see if he can get it open for me.  I took a metal water can full of water down and set it outside in their pen.  I can tell by looking in the window their heated water can inside their coop is completely dry.  If I can’t get the door open I may loose my whole flock.  I have a room heater running and facing the door.   Not sure it will do any good but I need to try something.  It is to get above freezing this afternoon so maybe between the heater and the warm up it will open.  The wood swelled when the watering can leaked two days ago.  I can’t see any ice but it may be behind the wood I can see.

It sure was nice to be able to do dishes this morning and not have to go downstairs and wet vac afterwards.  The simple things in life!  I take them for granted sometimes.

I got the results of the blood draw the doctor from MD Anderson wanted done.  My levels have not changed from two months ago.  Thinking she will now recommend I have the radioactive iodine treatment done.  I should know for sure next week when she sends her recommendations out.  I have an appointment with the Endocrinologist in Topeka the first of February so we can discuss it then.  I get to actually see and meet the Doctor in Topeka for the first time when I go back.  Maybe she isn’t as threatened by my getting a second opinion as the nurse practitioner is.

We may go eat at Subway if the kids can decide if we eat there or bring it home.  They can’t agree and I won’t take them until they do.  I may fix Mac and cheese at home.  I forget that kids like to argue and it is normal for them.  So glad I don’t have to listen to it everyday!

Another busy day with kiddos.  Headsets are on and it is briefly quiet on the prairie.  Not holding my breathe that it will last.  All is well on the prairie today!

Kathy left with Craig this morning. They are headed to Colorado for a couple of days. Craig had asked me to go with him but I wasn’t ready to take another trip right now. Grateful Kathy went with him so he didn’t try to drive it all himself.

Got the plumber out this morning to fix my backed up overflow drain. Nice to be able to do dishes and not have to go downstairs and use the wet vac. The other guy still has the flu and hadn’t made it out yet.

Expecting a furniture delivery this afternoon. They were to have come yesterday but someone got sick and they had to reschedule. Must be a lot of flu and crud going around.

Ellexia sent me a text this morning and told me she was bored. After the plumber left I went into town and picked both kids up. After a quick stop at the grocery store we came to my house. They are planning on spending the night as their mom works again tonight and she will need to sleep at least for a while tomorrow. She had worked last night too and needed to sleep today.

Still need to go down and see if I can get into the chicken coop. Was waiting to see if it was going to warm up but not thinking that it is going to. May have to get creative to make sure they have access to water. I can throw food in their coop via the egg door. May see if Tagen can squeeze through the little trap door and see if he can push the door open from the inside. Ellexia could make it in but she isn’t strong enough to do much good.

Sophia is stuck with me while Kathy is gone. So far she has been good. The kids played with her for a bit when they first got here until Sophia had enough and wanted to go back outside. The dogs love this very cold weather.

The first thing Ellexia had me do when she got here was change my music. She doesn’t like quiet, soft music. Lord help me! There is a station on my Sonos called Kidz Bop 36 she likes. I am getting old! She just ask me to play the song Just Shake Your Rump! Where have I been lately? Have never heard of it.

Need to remember to set the trash out tonight. They are picking up a day late this week and next due to the holidays. Need to change the cat litter box. It is way overdue to be refreshed.

Another cloudy and bitterly cold day on the prairie. Ready for winter to be over and spring to come. Am not a fan of cold weather. Makes me want to run away to a warm beach somewhere.

So grateful the kiddos came to spend the day. I miss my peace and quiet but it is fun to have them here for a day or so. They are a bit wired but trusting they will settle down soon and relax into the quiet of the prairie. Both look a bit tired so maybe bedtime can come early tonight.

All is well on the cold prairie today. It isn’t very quiet but full of fun today instead!

And Christmas 2017 is a wrap. We had a lovely time at Craig’s house yesterday. Craig made chili and I took tons of cookies and candies. Kathy made a cherry jello salad and a cheesecake. We all ate way too much! Got rid of most of the cookies and candies. May try to give some more away later today. I need them out of the house so I quit eating sugar! My stomach is starting to tell me to clean up my eating habits.

Kathy took down the Christmas trees this morning and I have been cleaning upstairs while Kathy has been cleaning downstairs. I broke the hose on my vacuum off. I tried duck taping it but it didn’t hold. Ordered a new hose from Amazon. May have to wait to clean the rest of my house until the part comes in – darn!

The main door to the chicken coop is frozen shut. When the water container leaked it dripped water down in front of the door and it froze shut during the cold wind yesterday. Luckily they have lots of food and water and should be OK until I can figure out how to get it open. It is to warm up later this week. I can always slip food and water through the egg door if needed.

Finally got Gene’s Christmas box mailed to him this morning. He should have it before New Year’s. Better late than never I guess.

I want to try to make another batch of New Year’s cookies as the first batch wasn’t very good. May do those this afternoon since I can’t finish my cleaning. My other two brothers really like them and I try to get them some every year as my Christmas gift to them along with some fudge. Both are made using my mother’s recipes.

We are getting some snow flurries this morning on the prairie. Not much accumulation so far. Radar showed most of the snow went north of me. It can stay there as far as I am concerned. Single digit temperatures are forecasted for today. Way too cold for my liking. Going some place warm in January or February is sounding better and better. Only problem is traveling just doesn’t sound inviting right now. Maybe in a couple of weeks I will feel the urge to go again. Right now all I want to do is sit in my favorite chair with the fireplace on and stay inside all nice and cozy warm.

So glad Christmas is over. I need to find a new normal for myself to settle into. Things have been way too chaotic around here for my liking. I’m ready for a string of so-called normal days where nothing is going on and I get to stay home. I need some quiet days to process all that has happened over the last year.

Waiting on my repairman to come fix my floor drain and for the furniture store to make a delivery.  Need to go get some groceries but they may wait for a day or two as I really don’t want to leave the house again today.

Cleaning. Nesting. Settling in at home for a bit. It is a bitter cold and snowy day on the prairie. All is well!

May the spirit of Christmas find each of you today and everyday of your life. May peace, joy and happiness fill your heart and overflow to touch everyone you encounter.

Decided to take a shower this morning even if it meant mopping up the basement floor. No hot water! The Grinch stole my Christmas morning shower! Finally figured out the pilot light had gone off so got that relit. Maybe I’ll take a bath tonight instead.

Kathy came in from doing chores and told me the chicken’s water container was not holding water. Went out and fixed it (at least I think it is fixed). Will go check it again in an hour or so to make sure it is fixed.

Poured the grease from the pan I used to make New Year’s Cookies into the container the grease came out of. Made a huge mess but thankfully had set a bowl underneath the container so I wouldn’t get grease down the sink drain and add to my clog. Used tons of paper towels to get that mess cleaned up.

Three things have gone wrong this morning and it isn’t even 9:00 yet. Maybe the rest of the day will go much better. About ready to go back to bed and start this day over!

Looking forward to seeing my family this afternoon. Maybe they can help me find my Christmas spirit. It seems to have eluded me this year.

Have been trying to figure out why I don’t enjoy Christmas. I know when I went to Israel in 2004 and saw the manger Christ was born in something shifted in me. Part of it was I felt deceived by the representation of a wooden stable the church has used to depict the original manger. It is more like a stone cave – no wood in sight.

Part of it is the church built above the manger. The middle four feet of the church is unfinished as the two churches that claim ownership of the church can’t agree on how to merge the two fractions.
Not so Christ like in my opinion!

I think I realized then that Christ is a consciousness energy that represents the best parts of how I strive to live my life and the rest of the story is man-made nonsense. I think I started my minimalist life style the day I saw how man has twisted the Christ birth into something it isn’t and that I needed to start separating myself from the materialistic representation that I saw that day. I wasn’t able to physically manifest that for several years but the shift happened in my soul the day I saw the manger and the church above it.

I do better celebrating Christmas in other months of the year when I can share the energy of the Christ consciousness without the materialistic trappings of the December season.

However and whenever you celebrate I trust you will be surrounded by peace, love and joy! When ever peace, love and joy are present you have found the true spirit of Christmas – regardless what day the calendar says it is!

I got my New Year’s Cookies made this morning.  Not sure they turned out very good.  I’ll try some later and check them but may need to do another batch.  Not sure what I did wrong. They didn’t raise up very much and tasted heavy.

The basement overflow drain backed up again last night.  We tried plunging it again but didn’t have much luck.  Sucked up as much as we could with the wet vac.  Put some baking soda and vinegar down the drain.  It drains very slowly today and if I keep using the wet vac have been able to do dishes without creating a big mess downstairs.  The guy that has a snake called me back.  He has the flu but will try to get out early next week.

Tim brought Ellexia out this morning,   Tim and Michelle needed to finish up some Christmas errands and needed a little one away from the house for a bit.  Kathy and Ellexia went outside and made snow angels this morning and are watching The Polar Express movie downstairs now.  I am thinking about taking a nap when I get done writing.  I didn’t sleep very good last night.  Don’t have a lot of energy today.

Got everything ready for our family Christmas tomorrow at Craig’s house.  Need to find a couple of boxes to load everything into and I will be ready to go.  Need to remember to take some left over containers so I can get rid of some of these cookies and candies.   My body is ready for me to go off sugar again.

i want to get Gene’s box put together today.  I’ll drop it in the mail Tuesday morning.  At least he will have it before New Year’s Day.  I missed the Christmas deadline.

We got a very light dusting of snow overnight.  The sun is shining brightly this afternoon but it is cold out.  Nice to have a white Christmas with just enough snow to make it white without creating a huge mess.   We can be done with snow for the season now as far as I am concerned.

Christmas is tomorrow!  Maybe the spirit of the season will find me yet.

White Christmas!  Shopping and wrapping is done.  Family gathering tomorrow.    All is well and beautiful on the snow dusted prairie today!

Made a second batch of fudge this morning early. Grateful it was a successful. I never know if it will turn out or not.

Went into Emporia for a few groceries. I stopped at two different stores to do something else and both were closed. Luckily the grocery store wasn’t crowded. I avoided Wal-Mart as I anticipated it would be full.

Came home and made a batch of pepper nuts. Kathy rolled the last few pans of them as she had never made them before. They turned out really good. Not sure they are as good as Mom’s were but they will do. Got three quarts full of them. Mom used to make them by the gallon.

Kathy discovered the floor drain in the basement is backed up. May have to wait to do dishes until I can get someone out to fix it. I left a message for the guy that fixed it for me last time but he hasn’t returned my call. He may be gone for Christmas. Poor timing to have this happen now. Good thing I am not having Christmas here on Monday. It may have to wait until Tuesday before I can find someone to come out. I would offer fudge for someone to come out with a snake and clear my drain.

The only thing I have left to do is wrap a few gifts and make New Year’s Cookies. They may wait until Tuesday if I can’t use much water until then. I didn’t get Gene’s box mailed so I will wait until I get the New Year’s Cookies made and put some in his box next week and get it sent off late.

Feels good to have my Christmas list almost finished. I sure got a late start on it this year. I only made single batches of most of the cookies this year as I don’t want so many left over. Maybe the kids will take most of the left overs for me. I do want to make up a few trays and gift some to some dear friends.

Still having trouble knowing what season it is. Peru was enjoying spring time while I was there. Hard to come back to winter time in Kansas. Things have felt a bit like chaos lately. Grateful for the slow down that is coming next week. I am way overdue to allow things to slow down.

What a month this has been. No wonder my head is spinning a bit!

My list is almost crossed out. Ready to slow down and enjoy the season of hope and faith. All is well on the quiet prairie today!

Had a beautiful solstice celebration with some dear friends yesterday afternoon. The light is returning! So thankful for this new season in my life. Time to lighten up and have more fun. My word for the year is pause. When I remember to pause before I do anything life seems easier. Trusting this may help me remember to pause more.

I had sent a note to my Topeka Endocrinologist asking why she decreased my thyroid medication dose. The doctor at MD Anderson had mentioned I needed it increased. The Topeka Endocrinologist response was rather rude I thought. She recommended I only have one doctor to follow and ask if I was changing my care to MD Anderson. She didn’t answer my question about why she lowered my dose. Wonder what she will do when she finds out MD Anderson disagrees with the type of cancer they diagnosed me with.

Does me getting a second option threatened her that much? I responded my insurance doesn’t cover out-of-state care so I was stuck with her. I ask her again to answer my question about why she lowered my dose. WTF? May need to find a new local Endocrinologist. Anyone know of one? This is the same office that the nurse could not tell me what the radioactive iodine treatment involved. When I said I wouldn’t have it done without more information they couldn’t find an appointment for me to come in and discuss the procedure until the February appointment I already had scheduled.

Good news is I turn 65 in August and will go on Medicare which allows out-of-state care.

Had trouble falling asleep last night. Finally took a second sleeping pill and some Advil and finally fell asleep. Ended up sleeping six hours straight! I needed that as I am still struggling to get over this tired to the bone feeling.

I am going to bake sugar cookies and make a final decision on what to get the kids for Christmas today. Looks too cloudy to make fudge although I may try one batch as I want to get Gene’s box mailed out to him and fudge is his favorite.

Still need to wrap the grandkids presents. I tried to get the kiddos to come out today to help frost sugar cookies but they have school today. They must not get a very long Christmas break from school this year.

Need to go into Emporia later and run some errands. Thinking today will be less crowded than tomorrow. Need to get some groceries so I have something to eat the next couple of days. I keep forgetting to get something when I go as I have been focused on my Christmas goodie list instead.

Getting very close to being ready for Christmas. Will be glad when it is done! Not my favorite time of year and it is my least favorite holiday. I have really cut back on what I do for Christmas but still find it a difficult holiday on many levels for myself. Being gone for most of December helped make it a shorter season than normal this year.

Making my list. Checking it twice! All is well on the cloudy and cold prairie today.

The Endocrinologist Oncologist from MD Anderson had her nurse call me yesterday.  The nurse told me the doctor now believes the type of cancer I have is conventional papillary and I do not have the variant.  She had met with the pathologist and reviewed the slides and now agrees with him.  If this is true this is good news for me as it lessens my chance of a reoccurrence.

The doctor is waiting for the results of the blood draw I had today to write her recommendation of treatment options for me.  I probably won’t get that until after the first of the year as my blood tests results will probably not be back before Friday and she leaves for vacation after that.

I ask the nurse about my thyroid medication dose being lower.  She said I needed to send in the results of the labs and they would address that in the recommendations.  I had showed both the nurse and the doctor the results of the labs when I was there.  Guess I will need to figure out how to get them the results on paper.  Why does this seem so complicated?

I didn’t get my fudge made while the sun was still out yesterday.  It is to be sunny Saturday so may have to wait and make it then.

Am cleaning my house today. We are having Christmas at Craig’s house this year but I love a clean house. Have some friends coming by this afternoon so it will be nice to have a clean house for them.

I need to go into Cottonwood Falls to go to the bank and post office this morning. Still am trying to decide what to give for Christmas presents. Running out of time and options.

Enjoying the Winter Solstice today. Taking some time to sit with the darkness and anticipate the return of the light. I did some deep soul work over the last three months and feel cleansed and ready for new things to come in. Need to decide what intentions I want to plant during our ceremony this afternoon. The last two years I have chosen a word for the year. Two years ago it was balance and this year’s word was movement. I have found it helpful to have a word that brings me back to center and helps keep me focused on my priority for myself. Maybe I will get inspired during our ceremony and the right word will present itself.

Slowing things down today. Sitting in gratitude for my many blessings. Knowing all is well!

Went into Emporia this morning to get my blood draw done. Afterwards I went to the liquor store to get the bourbon to make bourbon slush. Stopped at Walgreen’s to pick up a prescription and went to Wal-Mart to get the rest of the ingredients I needed to make Christmas goodies.

Came home and got the peanut butter balls made and dipped in chocolate. Had extra chocolate so Kathy spread peanut butter on Ritz crackers and I dipped those in chocolate. Still had extra chocolate so poured a bag of pecans in the chocolate and coated them. Also made the bourbon slush that is a family tradition for us.

It the sun stays out I can get a batch or two of fudge made. The only other thing on my list is sugar cookies and I will wait until I have some helpers to help me frost them on Saturday. Now if my shopping was all done I would be almost ready for Christmas!

Found out my stool culture came back normal. One less thing to worry about. The retreat leader knew what he was doing by treating me with silver and oregano oil.

Sent a note to my local Endocrinologist asking why the decrease in my thyroid medication and told her the Endocrinologist Oncologist from MD Anderson wanted to increase it. I haven’t heard back from her yet. So confusing when I get two different opinions and they don’t match up. I am going to attempt to arrange a conference call after the first of the year with the two doctors and myself and see if we can get together and sort this out.

I am not near as tired today as I was yesterday. I can’t remember being that tired before. I think everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks caught up to me and almost knocked me out. Thinking it will take me a few days to figure out what way is up for me right now. Lots has happened to me over the last several months and I need some down time to process it all. Grateful I have almost a completely empty calendar so far for January. So ready for lots of empty space.

My dear neighbor escorted my dogs back home this morning. They were down by her house by the road and she was afraid they would get hit. Love living where I do and am so lucky to have such nice neighbors.

Have some friends coming over tomorrow afternoon so we can celebrate Winter Solstice. It will be good to see them. We always have a good time when we get together and I always feel better after they are here.

Feeling better about Christmas coming as I got some things ready today. Need to clean house a bit to get ready for tomorrow. Feels so good to be home.

The smell of chocolate is in the air! Christmas is coming soon. All is well on the prairie today!

Home sweet home! It sure seemed to take a long time to get home today. We made it almost to the OK border before we stopped for the night last night. We ran into lots of fog, rain and road construction and neither one of us like to drive after dark. We hit the road a little after 8:00 this morning and pulled in my driveway around 1:30 this afternoon. So very good to be home.

My house sitter did a super job. She even washed the sheets on the bed she used and left everything cleaner than she found it. She seemed to have really enjoyed staying here and loved Kathy’s dog. I can’t thank her enough for coming.

Unloaded my suitcase and started laundry. I really need to go into Emporia and have some blood drawn for the blood test the Endocrinologist in Houston ordered be done. Not sure I will make it in today though. I am exhausted! Thinking the let down from the Peru trip along with the long drive down and back to Houston has caught up with me. Not functioning on all cylinders this afternoon.

Tomorrow I need to get started on getting things put together for Christmas. I am running out of time to get things organized. Still haven’t decided what to get a few people on my list. Need to make a list of things I need to get when I go to town in the morning for the blood draw.

Chris died one year ago today. In some ways it feels like it has been years and others it feels like it happened yesterday. What a roller coaster it has been this year for those that love him. Still hard to wrap my head around it.

Going to try to stay awake and not take a much wanted nap this afternoon. My sleep has improved and I don’t want to set myself up for a back slide into the land of not sleeping. May putter around and set out the ingredients for the cookies and candies I want to make tomorrow to make sure I have what I need to make them. Don’t think I will attempt to bake tonight as I’m not sure I would be very successful as tired as I am.

So very glad to be home knowing I get to stay home for a while. Grateful Kathy traveled to Houston with me and that she drove a bunch today. Grateful to my house sitter for taking such good care of the critters and house.

All is well on the beautiful prairie tonight! Open spaces. Empty space! Quiet music in the background. Ahhh….. peace and quiet at last!

Not sure what to think about my doctor’s appointment at MD Anderson. I didn’t get a definite answer to know if I need the Radio-Active Iodine treatment or not.

First I saw a nurse’s aide who took my vitals (kinda). I then sat in the waiting area for almost an hour. Finally got called back and met with the nurse. He took down some history and entered my allergies and medication.

When he was done and after another long wait the nurse practitioner came in and asked me the same questions the nurse had. She did do a bit of a physical exam on me.

After yet another long wait the doctor came in and asked me the same questions the first two asked. I think they were checking to see if I told the same story three times.

The doctor that read my pathology slides at MD Anderson did not find I have a variant type of papillary cancer. The doctor I saw today disagreed but decided not to challenge the results as the doctor that read the slides is world renowned. Do I or don’t I? Not sure!

I had to get weighed again as my weight from the first time I was weighed didn’t get charted. At first the doctor said I needed my medication levels increased but then decided they were good.

She may or may not have called in a prescription for me. She said something about adding a new script but not sure if she did or decided against it.

She wanted me to have another ultrasound but then changed her mind. She wanted me to have four blood tests but then only ordered one. She wanted me to get the blood work done in Houston but I decided to have it done in Emporia tomorrow afternoon after we get home so my insurance can pay for it.

She needs more information before she can decide if I need the iodine treatment. The only real concern she had was the lack of clear margins around the tumor. She was going to consult with the pathologist to see if he could give her more information about them. There may have been clear margins but no one can say for sure as the surgeon didn’t notice the tumor when he removed the thyroid.

She did say she didn’t know why my doctor in Topeka said I needed to have the iodine treatment done within 90 days of surgery. She said today there is no rush.

The doctor I saw today is leaving for the holidays Friday. She was rushing to try to get what she needed so she could advise me before she left on vacation. If there is no rush why not slow down and get it right?

This feels like it is a judgement call and evidently either way I go is the right way. Leaning more and more to sitting and waiting. With good follow up care if something starts to grow I can take care of it then. That is where I was at before I came.

We headed for home around 1:00. Traffic was heavy coming out of Houston but we finally managed to get out. Going to try to get through Dallas before we stop for the night. It has been raining off and on all afternoon.

Grateful Kathy is doing half the driving. Feeling very tired this afternoon. So looking forward to getting home tomorrow and staying there for a good, long while.

Made it to our hotel in Houston. We are within walking distance of where my appointment is tomorrow morning. The hotel also has a shuttle service in case it is raining.

We drove into Galveston this morning so we could dip our toes into the ocean. Not many people on the beach today. We drove through thick fog all the way down to Galveston this morning.

Had lunch at a place called Kelly’s. Had the best chicken fried steak I have ever had. We got the smaller senior portion size and it was still too much to be able to eat it all.

Struggling to figure out the hotel WiFi. I find things like that so frustrating. Never know if I am doing something wrong or if the system isn’t working right.

I’m really tired so may take a nap. Have a long afternoon ahead of us and nothing to do. Grateful for little traffic today and safe travels so far.

Left for Houston at 8:40 this morning.  Made it to Buffalo, TX which is about 130 miles north of Houston.  We hit rain and road construction in Dallas and after it got dark it was rough driving so we stopped for the night.  Dallas traffic wasn’t too bad.  We took turns driving so it made the trip fairly easy.  Both of us are a bit stiff and sore from sitting all day though.

We stopped somewhere and had lunch at a Chili’s.  I think we were still in OK when we stopped.  I have filled my car up two times so far.

Tomorrow we are driving down to Galveston to spend the day and then back into Houston for the night.  My doctor’s appointment is at 9:30 Monday morning but I have to be at MD Anderson by 8:30 for paperwork.

Long drive for a one hour appointment!  It went fairly fast though.

Trusting my house sitter showed up.

I am ready for bed!  Both of us are sleepy and will probably be asleep before 8:00.  Hoping traffic is fairly light going through Houston on a Sunday morning.

Rain!  Good sleeping weather.  All is well!

Got home last night a little before 6:00. Got unpacked and laundry started before I crashed. I slept really well last night and woke up rested. I got up this morning just before the sun rose. I had to stop and watch it rise. I missed the sun rises and sun sets while I was away.

Went into town first thing this morning to take in a stool sample and get my blood drawn to check my thyroid levels. They wouldn’t accept the stool sample the way I took it in. It needed to be in a special solution and container. Wish someone would have told me before. I came home after having my blood drawn and about an hour later I was able to collect another sample so had to go back to town to take it in.

I took in a copy of the results of the stool culture that had been done in Peru so the doctor knew exactly what I had. I dropped it off at his office and was able to talk to the doctor for a moment. When I told him how they treated me he surprised me when he said they did good. He said local remedy’s work better than pharmacy drugs on things like that. Wish he believed that about other things too. I haven’t heard any results yet.

I went to Wal-Mart to get dog food and lettuce for the chickens. Also stopped at Bluestem and got a sack of chicken feed. Think I have everything my house sitter will need so I can leave again tomorrow.

This afternoon I made a batch of Chex Mix and some Rollo Pecan bites. At last my Christmas baking has been started. Kathy opened all the Rollos for me which was a huge help. Still have sugar cookies, peanut butter balls and fudge to make. Good thing Christmas is still ten days away. No need to panic yet – right?

We plan on leaving for Houston around 9:00 in the morning. Hope to get close to Houston tomorrow before we stop for the night. Will drive into Galveston Sunday and spend the day on the beach and then go back into Houston Sunday evening. The hotel we are staying at in Houston is right by MD Anderson. It has a shuttle bus to take us to MD Anderson so I won’t have to worry about parking Monday morning. I have heard that parking can be an issue. Hopefully we will be able to head for home Monday after my appointment and will be home Tuesday afternoon. Seems a long ways to go for a one hour appointment but am trusting it will put my mind at ease about what if anything I need to do next.

This afternoon we went over to Craig’s house. He had picked up the grandkids and the five of us scattered Maddie and Max’s ashes and buried their collars and tags. The grandkids seemed to understand what was going on and were very respectful. Hard day for Craig as those dogs were really special to him.

I am getting tired this evening. I haven’t sat still for very long today. I still need to do a couple of things so the house sitter will know how to do chores. I haven’t even started packing again yet. I did get all my laundry washed and put away so packing will be easy. Only going to be gone for three or four nights so won’t need much.

Busy reentry day. It wasn’t good timing to have to leave so soon again after just getting home yesterday. It felt important I get this done though so went ahead and took this appointment time. Grateful Kathy is going with me to help me drive. Not sure it would have been smart for me to drive that far alone as I am still tired from the Peru trip.

When I get home from Houston I seriously need to figure out Christmas. I am so not ready this year. Just hasn’t hit my radar screen yet. If I can get home Tuesday I still have five days to get it sorted out. I think I can! I think I can!

Busy day! Hitting the road again in the morning. So looking forward to January and lots of empty space! Feels good to be back on the prairie and have wide open space to look at. All is well!

Almost home! We checked out of our hotel in Cusco at 10:00 yesterday morning and have been playing the waiting game since.
So far the two flights we have taken were on time.

Customs and immigrations went smoothly in Houston. A four hour lay over after traveling for 24 hours feels like a forty hour lay over.

I should be home by 6:00 or so tonight. I am so ready to be home. I seriously need to get me a pair of ruby red slippers so I can skip the marathon of traveling home.

Grateful Kathy is going to ride along with me to Houston Saturday. It sure was tempting to just stay here and fly home next Tuesday. I need clean clothes though.

Almost home! This adventure is physically coming to an end but guessing the emotional and spiritual part of it may just be starting.

Check-out time at the hotel this morning was 10:00. We put our bags in the hotel’s courtesy storage area and headed outside. We sat in the square for a bit and enjoyed the warm sunshine and watched people.

Went to a cafe and had breakfast. Came back to the hotel to wait for a bit before we head out to the airport. Our first flight isn’t until 4:10 this afternoon.  We will have another long wait at the Lima airport as our next flight isn’t until 1:50 am.  Makes for a long day when all you do is wait.

I did put a sleeping pill in my purse so once we take off from Lima I will take it so hopefully I will sleep on the plane. We won’t land in KC until after 2:00 tomorrow afternoon.  We have over a four hour lay over in Houston after our Lima flight.

I packed an extra set of clothes in my backpack. Wonder how long it will be before I trust myself not to have a potty accident?  I’m actually feeling much better and doubt that I will need them but I would rather be safe than sorry. I decided since I am checking one bag I might as well check both and not have to wrestle them during our two long lay overs.

What an adventure this has been. I love new experiences that help me learn something new about myself. This one certainly fulfilled that!

Peru is a beautiful country.  Its’ people certainly have to work hard to make a living. Many live in very primitive conditions. Certainly makes me appreciate even more the luxuries I have at home such as clean water, a furnace, screens on windows, clean hot water to take a shower with, and safe food.

Ready to be home!

A rest day today. We got to eat, sleep and play on our own schedule.

We went to the hotel breakfast but it didn’t look very good. The slices of bread were dry and the eggs looked like they had been sitting out for a bit too long. We found a cafe right next to the hotel that had a much fresher breakfast although neither one of us ate much.

After we ate we went shopping. I think the markets here are some of the best in the world. Much better quality than the normal tourist market and really good prices.

I got most of the people on my list something.  We finally found some place to eat lunch.  We were both getting hungry but nothing sounded good. There are people with menus outside most restaurants trying to get you to eat there. We looked at a few menus but ended up at McDonald’s.  We both are craving something familiar to eat.  We almost got it today but not quite the same.

After lunch I was going to stop and get another suitcase.  The worker was waiting on someone else and I crashed and decided not to wait any longer. Came back to the room and took a long nap. Need to go out again and get a suitcase. Maybe I can people again now that I am not so tired.

Not looking forward to tomorrow .  We will head to the airport early afternoon for our 4:15 flight to Lima and then don’t leave for Houston until 1:50 am.  If we can  recheck our bags early we may leave the airport for a bit to see Lima.   Not sure what we will be in the mood to do yet.  It may be a long travel day.

Feels like it has been months since I was home. Hard to believe Christmas is 13 days away. They don’t decorate for it here much and since it is Spring time here it doesn’t feel like Christmas is coming soon.  So not ready for it this year.  And when I get home I will only be home for two sleeps before I leave for Houston. Guess it is what it is and it will be what it is.

Still processing all that has happened since this trip began.  Thinking it will be a bit before I can sort it all out.  Craving my prairie and some quiet days to help me do so.

 

 

Happy birthday to my beautiful granddaughter Ellexia. I hope you had a beautiful day. Sorry I had to miss your special day.

Machu Picchu day! After little sleep last night we met up with the rest of our group downstairs in the breakfast area of our hotel around 5:30. The guide came in around 6:00 and we headed for the bus station.  Lots of hair pin turns and steep drop offs as we climbed up the mountain in a bus.

Machu Picchu has changed a lot from three years ago. I liked the old entrance better. I stayed with the group for the first thirty minutes or so but when they took off to climb lots of steps I stayed behind.

I found a big rock to sit on and I enjoyed  the beauty of the grounds. We didn’t have a very nice day weather wise today as it was lightly raining most of the morning. We were above the clouds at times and in the clouds other times.

I didn’t have as powerful experience as I did last time. I enjoyed the site today and saw a different part than I had three years ago. There was a baby llama and several adult llamas roaming around the grounds too. It wasn’t very crowded as this is low season.

Our guide told us in 2018 visitors will only be allowed to stay on the grounds for two hours and must have a guide with them  at all times.  They have had too many tourist misbehaving and during high season it is getting too crowded.   He told us the wait for the bus up or down is over four to five hours during high season

I headed back down to the lower village by myself via bus while the rest of the group finished the two hour tour. When I got down to the village I sat out in the square and enjoyed people watching. After about an hour Nicole came and joined me.

We found a cute cafe and had an early lunch. I had chicken and noodle soup that was called chicken diet on the menu. Nicole had nachos.  Both were really good.

The waiters helped us get connected to wi-fi. They were cute kids and really provided good service for us.

After we ate we went shopping. I found some table runners I liked as well as a beautiful sweater for myself. I also picked up a few gifts for others. Good thing we had an extra bag as I did my best to fill it up.

We met the others at 1:00 and then headed to the train station. About half way through our trip one of the crew came down the isle wearing a costume and mask. He was wearing the traditional garb they wear to a festival of some sort. He pulled women out of their seats with a cane he was carrying so they could dance in the isle with him.

When he was done the crew put on a fashion show and then tried to sell the garments they modeled to us. It helped make the trip go faster. We were all pretty exhausted and tired on the ride back.

My seat mates were a father and daughter. His father was from Peru and his mother was from Mexico. They live in CA. At some point I ask if he was a cop. He confessed he used to be. I was surprised when he told me he was 42. That is how old Jason is. Man! I am getting old if I am old enough to be that guy’s mother!

Then I realized I could have been the mother of all the other participants from the retreat.

When we got to the end of our train ride I picked up the luggage I had checked at the station. We then said good bye to our host and one of the participants. A taxi was waiting for us to take us and one other participant to Cusco. The driver was told to go quickly as the other participant with us needed to get to the airport. The driver followed his instructions and went fast. Not sure how we avoided getting into a wreck but we made it.

We said our last good byes at the airport and then the driver brought us to our hotel. I love the location as we are close to restaurants and shops. The room is very small though.

After we checked in and got a bit settled
we went out for dinner. Found an Irish Pub to eat at.  I had chicken quesadillas that were really good.

Tomorrow is a rest day. I have a few more gifts I want to get. Thankfully the shops are close so we can walk to them. Trusting both of us will get a really good night’s sleep tonight.   Wednesday afternoon we fly to Lima and then have an overnight flight to Houston. Neither one of us can sleep much on an airplane.

I am exhausted. Glad we have a rest day before our long travel day home. I am ready to go home though.

What an adventure! Close to the finish line now.

We had wood stove pizza for dinner last night. Nicole was in heaven and finally ate a good dinner. Afterwards the two of us sat on the couch and had a deep conversation. There was another Ayahuasca ceremony going on right next to us for people in the community.

After breakfast this morning we said our goodbyes and then five of us departed in a car for an hours drive to the train station so we could go to Machu Picchu. We had lunch at a restaurant near the station. We sat out in a garden while we ate and watched a humming bird drink from the flowers on a tree. After lunch we boarded the train.

The ride was about one and one half hours. It was an absolutely beautiful ride. Everything is so lush and green. I saw the San Pedro cactus growing along side the train track.

We arrived in the lower village of Machu Picchu late afternoon and trekked to our hotel and then up the stairs to our fourth floor room. I left my carry on bag at a luggage check in the village where we got on the train. Grateful I did as it would have been a struggle to pull it through the village and up the stairs to our room. I had put what I needed for the night in my back pack so I didn’t have to open my carry on bag and have to pack it again.

We are meeting at 6:00 in the morning and heading to the top of the mountain so we can see the sun rise. Trusting I will sleep good tonight so I have the energy to climb around a bit. Although I will be perfectly content to sit and enjoy the view if needed.

Feels good to be out of the energy of the center and to get to relax on the train seeing the snow covered mountains. Lots of flora and rushing water at the train track level.

Not sure what I am doing this evening. May just go to bed soon. I have an incredible view out our bedroom window and feel so content sitting on my bed and looking out.

I am anxious to see if the energy of Machu Picchu will feel the same to me as it did last time. I felt myself getting pulled back in time on the train ride. Everything feels a bit surreal to me right now.

I am still processing the experience of drinking the plant medicine. So grateful I came and drank. Have a feeling my learnings will continue to unfold over the next few weeks and months.

Today is our last full day at Spirit Plant Journeys. We walked about fifteen minutes to get to a little cafe that has free internet this morning. They have a beautiful garden we sat in. It felt good to get away from the energy of the center for a bit. We stayed for almost two hours then walked back. The scenery on the trail was beautiful. There were small pens of pigs mixed in with river streams, chickens, ducks, kittens, vegetable gardens, flowers and homes. The living conditions for most of the locals are fairly primitive.

I updated my blog while we were at the cafe. I have gone way over my allotted cellular data allowance and had to stop posting the blog using cellular data. I will fix some spelling errors when I have more time on free internet.

We got back just a little before lunch. They fixed Nicole and I chicken while the others had fish. First meat I have had since we were in Cusco over a week ago. I had been craving protein. It really tasted good.

I have been able to eat regular food today for the first time since Sunday. Still not eating normal portions yet but doing so much better. My roommate has been able to continue to eat while she fights off a parasite. I couldn’t eat.

I had the retreat leader forward the stool culture results to me so my doctor will know what type of parasite I had. I ask the leader how much I owed him for the culture and he wouldn’t accept payment for it or for the silver and oregano oil I used.

Tonight we have one last group sharing and then we leave sometime tomorrow for Machu Picchu. We don’t get many details until the last minute so am not sure what time we leave in the morning.

I took a short nap this afternoon. The walk into town wore me out. It sure felt good to get out and move my body though. Trusting I will be able to explore Machu Picchu tomorrow. If not I will be content to sit and enjoy its beauty. I told the leader not to pay for a guide for me as I would slow the youngsters up too much.

I read a bit of the news while I was on free internet at the cafe. It sure has been good for me to disconnect from it for a bit. Some of it didn’t make sense as I haven’t read any news for over a week. Sounds like there have been reports of more men behaving badly. Hard to keep up with all of them these days. I thought I read the Senate passed the tax reform bill from a post on Facebook but I didn’t get that feeling when I read some of the news. Nothing I can do about it one way or the other I guess.

We ran into the Shaman that led the San Pedro ceremony and the lady that did our massages at the cafe. It feels like a small connected community here. The Shaman gave Nicole and I a big hug.

Nicole and I are trying to figure out how much weight we have lost. Our clothes are much looser than they were when we left home. We were served primarily veggies and fruit, especially on ceremony days. We didn’t have dinner on those days either. No salt, no sugar, very little bread. My sister would have been in heaven. The food was nicely prepared but we both missed protein.

So excited to return to Machu Picchu tomorrow. Need to start getting my bags organized and packed.

What an adventure this has been! And the fun isn’t over yet!

What a beautiful ending to our Ayahuasca ceremony. We walked outside when it was over to see millions of bright stars. They felt so close. There was lightening on the lower horizon but above were all these sparkling stars. Glad Nicole was with me to hold me up as I was still a bit under the influence of the plant medicine and looking up was a challenge.

I fell asleep during the ceremony tonight. When the retreat leader came to get me for the blessing I jumped. We had a group blessing tonight. We all sat in a circle and held hands. Lots of love and power in the circle.

I feel different in a good way tonight but not sure yet what is different about me. I had so much love and gratitude in my heart as I looked at the stars. Maybe my heart is wide open now.

I actually ate a bit of real food for lunch today. Didn’t have much but it was a start. Had some loose stools this morning but none this afternoon or evening. I didn’t have to get escorted to the bathroom during ceremony tonight. Our roommate has what I had. I shared some coping tips with her. Hopefully she is in better heath than I am and will recover faster.

I had another wonderful massage today. The lady that gives them is so well grounded and full of love. My body appreciated her loving hands.

Tomorrow is a rest day. As far as I know other than meals and a early evening sharing circle there is nothing on the schedule. Sleep is on my schedule as I didn’t get a nap today. Trusting I will sleep good tonight.

Nicole has been walking most days to a little coffee shop close to here. I am finally feeling better and want to walk with her to it tomorrow. I haven’t been off grounds of the center since last Monday.

Hard to believe our time at the center is almost over. Some days it felt like it would never end but now that it is it feels like it went by quickly.

We still have six more days before we get home. Looking forward to being able to do our own thing.

So grateful I was able to come and that Nicole came with me. What an adventure we have had!

Had an amazing ceremony tonight. I almost missed it. Around 5:30 I got weak again. I went to bed and slept really hard. Nicole said she came in twice to check in on me but I didn’t hear her. The retreat leader shook me awake a little after 8:00. I had trouble figuring out where I was for a bit.

During the ceremony I saw a slide show in my head of times when my ego was in charge. Then I saw a slide show that showed me times when my perfectionist tendencies prevented me from experiencing joy, love and happiness.

I then spent some time practicing self-forgiveness. I can’t change what I did in the past so the best I can do about that is forgive myself and do better in the future.

At the end I felt a beautiful rose colored light flood through me.

It felt very powerful and freeing.

I only went to the bathroom once during ceremony. Turned out only to be a fart but at this point I don’t trust myself to fart.

I only had about 8 stools today so did much better than yesterday as I had close to 50 then.   I was able to drink a half cup of broth twice today and eat two bananas as well as a piece of bread today. Progress!

Trusting tomorrow will be even better. I am still low on energy but I can feel it returning.

I only took a sip of plant medicine again tonight. It was enough to give me a great experience without the side effects.

I signed up to have another massage on Friday. This one I have to pay for. It is only $50 in US dollars or $150 in soles. She is really good and I think she can help me refill my low energy levels. Not sure when I am going to have it. My first massage lasted almost two hours.

Three down! One to go! Feeling much better.

Finally feeling better today. It is noon and I have only gone three times today. I managed to drink half a cup of tea for breakfast and a quarter cup of broth so far today.

Had a deep conversation with the retreat leader last night. His wife has a major thyroid issue and has gone through several thyroid storms. They have been together in an open relationship for five years. We talked about how hard it is when your partner is chronically ill and the resentment from both partners that can happen. He is only 30 years old. I didn’t get to meet his partner as she is in Belgium visiting friends and family for two months.

We have another Ayahuasca ceremony tonight. I need to get some strength back before I can attempt it. If I go I will only take a sip of the plant medicine again. Purging would knock me back down again.

I called my doctor back home for an appointment for the day after I get home so he can check to make sure the parasite has cleared my system. He is out of the office on December 15. His nurse is going to call me tomorrow after she checks with him to see if I only need to bring a stool sample in or if someone else needs to see me. I leave the 16th for MD Anderson and won’t be home until the 21st. I would prefer not to wait that long to make sure it has cleared.

We have another ceremony Friday night and there is an optional one Saturday night. If I miss tonight I still have a chance to do two more.

We go to Machu Picchu Monday. We will spend the night Sunday in a small village outside Machu Picchu and return to Cusco on Monday. We booked a hotel in Cusco for Monday and Tuesday nights. Wednesday afternoon we fly to Lima and then have a 1:30 in the morning flight to Houston on Thursday. We have over a four hour layover in Houston and will arrive in KC a little after 2:00 pm.

Not sure what we are going to do in Cusco. We are staying really close to the main plaza this time so we won’t have to take a cab when we want to go eat. I do want to pick up a few gifts but already got what I wanted for myself.

Both of us are peopled out. We are both used to having lots of alone time. I got a day yesterday of pretty much being alone by staying in bed all day. I feel bad that I have been a bit anti-social but I haven’t had the energy to talk much to the other participants. All the other participants are in their late 20’s or early 30’s and one is in her early 40’s. I am definitely the old one in the group. Not sure they relate well to me anyways.

This has been a rough day. I woke up feeling pretty good. Nicole and I had a good talk with our roommate for over an hour. I went upstairs to take a shower and I think all my energy washed away in the shower.

I have hardly had the energy to make it to the toilet since. I have slept on and off all day. The retreat leader has been over three times to give me silver and oregano. I have been working on a bottle of water that has lime and salt in it all day. It is still over half full. No food yet today.

Trusting I have hit bottom and will get a bounce upwards soon. This sucks!

At breakfast Tuesday morning the retreat leader ask me for a stool sample after finding out I went five times this morning before breakfast. Found out I have picked up a parasite. He is treating me with oregano oil and silver. He gave me a bottle of water to drink that he had added lime and salt to. It tasted really good. The oregano oil is hot and burns my mouth and lips.

He recommended I be retested once I get home. They have medication I can get if I still need it. He doesn’t recommend I take it here as it interferes with the plant medicine. If I’m not better in two days I will ask him for it and stop the plant medicine. I can’t keep going like this much longer.

As long as I don’t eat or drink anything I slow down going but as soon as I drink anything I go again about every five minutes for at least an hour or so. This is starting to get old.

All I have eaten today is one and one half banana. I am surprising not hungry.

I had the most amazing massage today. She does massage, cranial sacral, and uses sound bowls. She did a light massage and then uses breath work to release tension points. I shook during the massage and she handled it beautifully.

We had group sharing with the Shaman this afternoon so we could process what happened last night. He keeps stressing patience with this process. He explained you have to get the physical stuff out of the way before you can do the heart work. Last night was definitely a physical process for me.

Tonight we get to tell them how much plant medicine we want to take. I am only going to do a taste tonight. My body is wrung out and I can’t handle much more tonight. Last night I had two swallows full. Trusting I won’t have a repeat performance of last night’s shit storm. I am not going to eat or drink anything else before ceremony so my tummy is more settled. I already have permission to stay downstairs if needed so I can be close to the bathroom again.

One problem I had last night is when I puked I would shit my pants. Hard not to when one is as loose as I am right now. Since I haven’t been eating or drinking much I didn’t have much to come up anyways so I was dry heaving from down deep.

Ceremony was much easier this time. I only took a small sip of the plant medicine. I felt it but it was subtle this time. I was able to sit upright all during the ceremony. No puking this time either. I did shake some but not near as much as last night.

I had planned to go downstairs after drinking from the cup but figured out how to use the barf bucket instead. Because I wasn’t so drugged I was able to not spill or miss the bucket.  Grateful we had complete darkness.

When the leader took me to the Shaman for my blessing he told me he was impressed I hadn’t gone downstairs. I told him what I had been doing. He laughed and then told the Shaman. The Shaman laughed really hard as did several of the participants.

The Shaman worked on my thyroid area tonight. He had me lay on my back. He held my neck area with his hand while he sang my blessing. Instead of blowing on my crown he blew on my neck. It felt amazing.

It was an easy and beautiful ceremony. I had worked on my relationship to my thyroid before my blessing. That area feels much calmer now.

I had a conversation with my thyroid during ceeemony.  It showed me all the symptoms it had been sending me trying to get my attention  I ask for forgiveness and really felt forgiven.  It feels like the cancer was sent as a reminder I need to listen to my body more  I also need to continue to express myself, when I am happy and sad.

I then did some work around self-forgiveness as well as self-love.

Wednesday is a rest day. Nothing on the schedule. Not sure what we are going to do. We are both craving some privacy so may walk to town and walk around. It is a very small town so not sure there will be much to see other than there is a coffee shop. The walk is only ten minutes or so. It might feel good to get out and walk. I’ll see how often I am going to the bathroom and then decide if I can go.

Two down! Two to go! It seems possible to do it now!

I slept a lot Monday morning. I was well taken care of by the retreat leader and Nicole. He brought me some broth, bread and banana for lunch. I finally managed to get most of it down.

Around 2:00 we met with the Shaman and each got a chance to share. He told me my thyroid cancer is gone. Both Shamans mentioned my perfectionist tendencies. They are going to give me a littler dose of plant medicine tonight since I have been sick today. I am grateful for that.

My tummy was very active and loud Monday afternoon. Trusting it will be quiet soon.

Oh my! What a fucking experience. The English translation for Ayahuasca is colon cleanse – at least for me.

We sat in total darkness for ceremony. They ask us to sit up as long as we could. I didn’t last very long as my head got too heavy for me to hold up. They had mats and pillows for us to rest on during the ceremony.

I threw up at first but then my diarrhea came back with a vengeance. The first time I ask for help to go downstairs to the toilet I didn’t make it in time. It felt complicated to get downstairs as everything was pitch black. The leaders had red light flashlights. I staggered like a drunk down the stairs. Thank heavens my host was supporting me.   I had to ask the retreat leader to go get me clean underwear and pants as I had shit all over my ass and down my pants.   I made a huge mess in the bathroom. I got the hand towel wet and attempted to clean it up. I was in full-on Ayahuasca mood and I had six arms. It took me a couple tries to pick up the towel with my real hand. I put my dirty clothes in the shower. I need to apologize to the rest of the group tomorrow for leaving such a mess and for hogging the toilet. Thank heavens they had two toilets.

When he handed me my new clothes through the door I set them on the counter. When I went to put them on I burned my finger. I had set my pants on the candle which sat on the counter top and burned a hole in my pants.

After my next trip downstairs I ask if I could stay downstairs on the couch so I could be closer to the toilet. They let me do that. There were a few times I was glad I had a barf bucket as both ends were going at the same time.

I am grateful to the two retreat leaders. They took very good care of me. They each sat with me at different times and rubbed my back or head. I felt very safe throughout the evening. I am pretty rung out tonight though.

I got the shakes again – this time mainly my head. My legs shook a couple of times too.

At some point I was escorted back upstairs for a blessing from the Shaman. After he anointed my face with oil he sang a song and shook rattles over my head. When he was done he blew air on the top of my head. I felt it go all the way down my spine and out my bottom.

I must have gone to the toilet 30 times. I am ready for a colonoscopy!

They explained to me afterwards that most people purge but some do what I did. It is all old energy that the medicine is expelling.

Not sure I got any insights yet. I knew I was releasing old shit (literally) and none of it has an interpretation for me yet.

One down! Three to go! I think I can! I think I can! I will be better prepared tomorrow and take extra clothes and wet wipes. My ass is raw tonight.

Oh what a night! Thank heavens it only lasted a bit over three hours and I got a small dose!

Sunday was a rest day from the plant medicine. After breakfast we loaded into the bus and went to the ruins outside Pisac. My tummy was a little unsettled so I stayed in the bus while the others hiked the ruins for over an hour. I was glad I stayed behind as several of the fit young girls struggled with the hike and climb. I still haven’t adjusted to the high altitude.

When they returned we went into town and had lunch. I had a really good chicken sandwich. We haven’t been served any meat yet and it felt good to eat some.

After lunch we had one hour to spend at the market. I found the tablecloths I wanted to get. Haven’t figured out how they will fit in my suitcase yet but I have time to figure that out.

We came back to the center and I took a long nap. I hadn’t slept much the night before. We had dinner but I couldn’t eat all of it as I still felt a bit unsettled.

Nicole and I lit some candles and sat in front of the fire in our living room and talked after dinner. I was able to sleep really good last night.

Woke up with really bad diarrhea Monday morning. The retreat leader just came and brought me some collided silver. He is having the chef fix a juice of some sort and is going to pick up some electrolyte drink for me. Nicole got me a cup of tea.

It is slowing down and I am feeling better although a bit weak yet.

Trusting I will be able to do ceremony tonight. I will need to get rehydrated as I understand purging is possibly involved tonight. Hard to purge if you have nothing on your stomach.

Weird that I am having diarrhea as since my thyroid was taken out I have had to take magnesium to be able to go. I haven’t taken any since I got here.

Trusting I have just eaten too many veggies and it is my body saying WTF?

It may be an interesting day.

My first experience with San Pedro was mostly amazing. I was only given a half dose and I am grateful. It tastes terrible. It is a slimy, thick liquid.

We had an opening ceremony which was beautiful. After we all drank from the cup we spread out over the beautiful grounds at the Center. I laid on a blanket near the stream that winds through the property.

I was a lot nauseated for most of the day. I never purged though. I could feel my senses start to heighten after about an hour.

The nausea became my touch stone for my body as when I could feel the nausea the shaking stopped for a bit.

After about two hours I started shaking. My head started first and then one or both legs would shake. I knew it was old energy unwinding and releasing. No story with it except every once in a while I would know what it was from. A lot of it was energy I was holding that wasn’t mine.

The Shaman cane by to check on me about every hour. He reassured me I was safe and gave me advice if needed. At some point he told me to start drinking sips of water. The only problem was my water bottle was five feet away and it took me a bit to figure out how to stand up and get it.

Mid-day they set out a plate of fresh fruit. The Shaman let me know it was there. I had to cross the stream to get to it and that was a challenge for me in my altered state. I finally staggered over to the fruit but was only able to eat one bite of banana.

There were times when the energy that I was releasing was painful – especially in my head area. I would make these primal sounds to help it release. I chanted tonal sounds at times too.

I couldn’t figure out the rain. I think it rained part of the day but I am not sure. At one point I was the rain!

Somehow I was able to verbalize where I was at when the Shaman came to check on me. I was very aware of observing my physical body with my higher self. I kept telling myself to breathe, allow and surrender.

It didn’t fully wear off until late afternoon. The last couple of hours were hard as I was exhausted and my body felt like it had been through a wringer washing machine. I just wanted it to stop.

Around 5:00 we had a closing ceremony which was beautiful. We had stayed in silence until then.

They fed us dinner around 6:30. I couldn’t eat much.

This morning I feel a bit weak and have a touch of diarrhea. We are going to the market at Pisac today so trusting some food at breakfast will help settle my system.

We don’t have any hot water so haven’t been able to shower yet. I told them about it yesterday but it didn’t get fixed yet. I tried to warm up a kettle of water so I could wash my hair but the gas didn’t work. Trusting that will get fixed today. I need a hot shower!

Today is a fun day. Tomorrow night we have out first experience with the next plant medicine. Trusting that will be amazing too.

This 64-year-old Grandma went tripping and not over her own feet.

Grateful to the magic of San Pedro and our very loving guide today.

Oh what a day!

We made it to our retreat space. It is beautiful! Not many participants so Nicole and I are sharing a whole house. We each have our own bedroom and bathroom.  My room is upstairs and Nicole’s is on the main level so we each have some personal space.

The bus ride to get here from Cusco was over two hours. We rode on narrow winding roads. Beautiful countryside but lots of speed bumps. I had to close my eyes sometimes when we passed other cars as it was a bit scary. Lots of speed bumps we had to slow down and bounce over. I was very glad when we got here though. I have a touch of altitude adjustment going on.

We had a lovely lunch. Even I managed to eat the food! After lunch the retreat facilitator gave us an overview of the retreat. We have our first ceremony tomorrow. We will drink San Pedro and then have a day of silence.

Sunday and Monday we will be out and about and the plant medicine ceremonies start Monday evening.

Very relaxing so far. Nice people from all over the world in the group. I’m by far the oldest one here. The others are all closer to Nicole’s age.

So far so good!

We just checked into our hotel room in Cusco. The flight was a bit bumpy coming over the mountains from Lima. We hired a transport service to meet us at the airport and he safely got us to our hotel. The hotel room is very clean and nice but very small.

I can tell we are at a much higher elevation. I need to find some Coco tea to start drinking. I remember from my last trip how much it helped. I don’t normally like hot tea but I like this kind.

We had a good night’s sleep last night once we were able to unwind and sleep. We missed breakfast as we both slept in. We had sandwiches for lunch/breakfast at the airport. Mine was fairly good but Nicole’s wasn’t as good.

After we rest for a bit we will take a taxi to the main square which is where most of the restaurants are. We would like to find a really good meal tonight. Starting tomorrow we will have to eat what ever we are given at the retreat. I brought some nut bars just in case!

We meet up with our hosts at the main square tomorrow at 10:30.   When we go to the square tonight we will find the Starbuck’s so we know where we are going in the morning. We will have almost a two-hour drive once we leave Cusco to get to their place. I bet it will be a beautiful drive.

So far everything has gone according to plan. No surprises yet.

I’m really tired this afternoon. Trying to decide if I want a nap now or food first. I’m glad we came in a day early so we didn’t have to rush. It will take me several days to adjust to the high altitude. We are at 10,925 feet.

I was able to find an ATM machine that looked safe to use at the airport in Lima this morning so I could get some local money. No problems using my card. Nicole brought cash and exchanged it at a money exchange place when we got in last night.

So far we haven’t done anything but sit in an airport, hotel, airplane or taxi. We weren’t in our room last night very long as we got into Lima after midnight and we were back at the airport by noon. Looking forward to seeing some of this beautiful country tomorrow.

So far, so good! Our real adventure starts tomorrow. Getting a bit nervous and excited. What ever have I gotten myself in for this time?

Nicole and I are in Houston where we have two more hours to wait until our flight to Peru. We have already had lunch. We found a fresh market that had real food. I had baked chicken and veggies and Nicole had a salad. Nice to find food like that in an airport.

I was surprised when we got off the plane to find out how close we were to our next gate. Of course I had lots of extra time today. Nice not to have to do the airport jog to make it to a gate miles away.

When I was getting my passport out of the file cabinet I found a 10,000 yen from Japan. I exchanged it at a currency place here at the airport and only got $70 US for it. Not a good rate but better than leaving it in my file cabinet. I wanted Peru money for it but that would have been an even worse exchange. When we get to the airport I will find an ATM machine and get some then.

Our next flight is over six hours long. We will arrive around midnight. Trusting the service we hired to transport us to our hotel is waiting for us when we arrive. Last time I flew into Cusco they didn’t show up.

Sure wish I could get to Houston this fast for my trip to MD Anderson. Driving it takes at least ten hours.

I got pulled for a random hand drug test when I went through security out of KC. Luckily my bags didn’t get pulled for a hand inspection. Nicole flew right through security. I must look guilty or something.

Leg one of this trip finished. Leg two coming up. Peru here we come!

I am in KC at Nicole’s House. We just got back from dinner and stopping by her favorite bar so she could say goodbye to her friends. We are packed and ready to go. One of Nicole’s friends is picking us up at 9:00 in the morning to take us to the airport.

I stuffed envelopes at the Symphony office again this morning. We ran out of one of the pieces we were stuffing in the envelopes just about the time I needed to leave. We got all but 500 done so trusting they will have enough volunteers tomorrow afternoon to get the job finished up.

After being so nice out yesterday today made up for it. It was warmer than it felt out today. It was cloudy and windy on the prairie. Not a fun day to be outside.

I almost forgot my passport. I went into the closet where the file cabinet I keep it in is at to get a book to take and something hit me and I remembered to grab it. Grateful I didn’t forget it or it would have been a short trip.

I sent a note to several friends this morning to see if any of them could house sit for us while we go to MD Anderson the middle of December. Three of them offered to do it for me. I’m so grateful I have such generous friends. I am relieved to have someone be able to stay in the house while we are gone and take care of the animals.

Tomorrow will be a long travel day as we don’t get into Peru until midnight. Trusting both flights will be on time and the flights will be smooth. Someone is to meet us at the airport and take us to our hotel. We have a 2:00 flight Thursday afternoon from Lima to Cusco. We meet the retreat people in Cusco around noon on Friday.

Excited to get this adventure started. The travel day is the hard part. Let the fun time begin! All is well in the city tonight!

What a day! It has been unusually busy for me. I spent over an hour on the phone this morning. Both MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston and Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN called me back. To my surprise both can see me the week after I return from Peru. I was not expecting an appointment this fast. In fact, both could have seen me next week. I have decided to go to MD Anderson. The last time I went with Craig to Mayo I was disappointed in them.

My appointment is only for a consultation and I will not be having any tests done unless they aren’t impressed with the ultrasound that was done in Topeka. My insurance will not cover this visit and my new insurance plan for next year won’t either. I decided it was worth it to get an opinion from an expert. I will see the Chair of the Department as she is doing a study on the particular rare type of cancer I have and was interested in my case.

Kathy and I will drive down and leave on the Saturday after I get back from Peru on Thursday, December 14. We plan on driving a good six to eight hours on Saturday, stop for the night and then drive into Galveston for Sunday. We will go back up to Houston Sunday evening as my appointment is early Monday morning. If I don’t need another ultrasound we will head home when my appointment is done on Monday and be home by Tuesday. I may have to delay our departure by one day if I need the ultrasound.

I will need to find a house sitter or someone to do chores while we are gone. Anyone want to spend December 16 – 20 in Chase County at my house?

It feels good to get this scheduled and know that I will be getting good advice on how to proceed. If they advise doing the radioactive iodine treatment I will have it done in Topeka as my insurance will cover it there.

I went into the Symphony office this morning to help stuff a newsletter. We only got 500 of 2,200 done but at least it is a start. I’m going back tomorrow morning to help get another 500 done. While at the office I met a relative of Granddad Jack Spain – actually she was related to his first wife. One of the other workers used to be married to the son of a favorite family pastor we had when I was a kid. It is a small world full of connections.

Craig had his dog Max put down today. It is a very hard day for Craig. The two of them were best buddies. So hard when you have to do the responsible thing. Tough to lose your best buddy. Max was over 13 years old which is a long life for a King Charles Cavalier.

Some friends came over this afternoon for a visit and healings. By far this is my favorite day of the month. If everyone in the world had that type of support the world would be a far different place.

Ran into Emporia after my guests left to get chicken feed and cash for my trip. I need to go to one more bank tomorrow and my errand list of things to do before I leave will be done. Now I need to do laundry so I can pack tomorrow.

I have a guy coming out Wednesday to clean out my drains. They are gurgling and the basement overflow drain is running very slowly. This house was not plumbed very well when it was built.

The dogs are both MIA. They haven’t been gone like this since Legend was killed. Trusting they will return soon.

Can’t believe I will be in Peru Wednesday night. I really need to finish packing! I did gather all the extra stuff other than clothes I am taking. It won’t take me long to throw my clothes in the suitcase. My hardest decision has been what to wear on my travel day. Not that it really matters -sometimes I get stuck on the easy things.

The countdown has begun. I’ll be in Peru in a little over 48 hours!

It has been another beautiful day on the prairie. Over 70 again today! All is well on the prairie.

I am having a much better day today. Kathy talked me into going to the Chase County Christmas Parade last night. It felt good to get outside and walk for a bit and enjoy the lights and sounds of the season. I was surprised how many people we ran into that I knew this year. The parade didn’t last long but it was quaint and fun. We helped a little family standing beside us fill their candy bucket. The courthouse is beautiful when the lights are turned on. The weather was parade perfect and the moon lit the path down Main Street.

Kathy and I went into Emporia this morning to get some groceries. Wal-Mart was out of beets and ice, two things I had on my list. It wasn’t busy though and there wasn’t much traffic on the way to town. The traffic was heavier coming home already. I put some chicken and veggies in the crock pot for us to eat later today.

I had an interesting night last night. I woke up as usual in the middle of the night. I checked Facebook and ended up having two messenger conversations with dear friends, both of whom are in the midst of tending to a sick loved one. Being awake in the middle of the night was good for something last night.

Nothing else on my calendar for today. I do want to start packing and gathering up the things I want to take. I have my clothes pretty much laid out but need to gather up my toiletries and medications. Need to figure out how to pack the liquids so I can get to them easily for airport security nonsense. Nicole told me I have to pull out my iPad now too. Think I will put them in my back pack as my carry on bag doesn’t have a place to put things other than opening the whole suitcase.

I tried to add an international travel plan to my phone but had forgotten I switched to Kathy’s plan and I must have her do it for me as she is the account owner. We will get that taken care of sometime later today. I thought about not adding it but it is a pain with the way pass codes work. They want to text you a code that allows you to access your accounts. If you don’t have your phone turned on that locks you out. The place we are staying doesn’t have wi-if although they told us there is a little village close by that does. It would be good for me to go two weeks without being on-line but not sure I can do that right now. There are a couple of situations here at home I want to be able to stay in touch and keep updated as to what is going on.

I remembered to buy Ellexia a birthday card while I was in town today. I will have Kathy mail it for me a couple of days before Ellexia’s birthday December 11. Sorry I will miss her special day.

Not sure how often I will be able to post to my blog while we are gone. I will use Notes and write everyday but without wi-fi it may be tricky to post.

It is really starting to hit me I am leaving on Tuesday and won’t be home for over two weeks. I’m getting excited about this trip. Stepping out of my comfort box and into something unknown. It will be an adventure I am sure!

Not quite as warm today as it has been although it is still nice. The wind is picking up a bit already today so it feels a bit colder than it is. At least the sun is shining and the skies are only partly cloudy.

The count down is on. Only 48 hours before I leave for KC and 72 hours before we leave for Peru. Best get packing. All is well on the prairie today!

SAD has hit me hard this year. It took me a couple of days to figure out what is wrong. I forget every year that the last couple weeks before Solstice are miserable for me. Even with the higher than normal temperatures I fell down the rabbit hole into the dark depths of the land of depression. Thankful I recognized what was going on so I can practice good self-care. It really doesn’t last long by the calendar days – just feels like forever to my soul at times. The timing of the trip to Peru is divine as they are in the midst of spring and that will pull me up and out of my rabbit hole hell.

I got on-line this morning and requested an appointment with both MD Anderson and Mayo Clinic so I can get a third opinion on how best to treat my thyroid cancer. I will go to whichever one has the earliest appointment. Not expecting an appointment till sometime next year. Both are to contact me the first of next week. That feels good and will relieve my mind that my next step after that is the right one. I will find out when they call if my insurance will allow a visit.

I went into Emporia last night to pick up some prescriptions. I didn’t go until after 5:00 and the store was not busy nor was there much traffic. Kathy took my car to work today as her tire isn’t fixed yet. I will have to go back to Emporia Tuesday to get chicken feed. I also need to get cash to take to pay for the remaining balance of my retreat.

Notified three of my four bank card companies about my upcoming trip. The other one I will do Tuesday at the bank. It is a local bank so doesn’t have the fancy call-in feature the bigger companies use.

Nothing on my to-do list for the day. Hard to find the motivation to do anything right now. All I want to do is sit, cry and eat. None of those are good for me but I can’t seem to get my ass up and moving. I recognize it for what it is now though which is progress. Once I can figure out the why I am doing something then figuring out what to do about it is easier.

Ellexia didn’t come out yesterday. She text me mid-day and ask if I would come get her as she was bored. I was sorry to not be able to go get her. Not sure what she is doing today. It is hard when your mom has to work nights – hard on both daughter and mom.

Another beautiful fall day on the prairie. Bright blue skies and the temperatures are to be in the 60’s today. It is to gradually drop into the 50’s next week but that isn’t bad for the first week in December.

I haven’t managed to take my shower yet today. Maybe today will be a pajama day. Other than the trip to town yesterday I took a pajama day yesterday too. Just how many pajama days can a girl handle? Glad I have two different things on my calendar for Monday. It will force me out of the house Monday morning. Some dear friends are coming over for the afternoon Monday. That will lift my spirits. I leave Tuesday late afternoon to go to Nicole’s house and we fly out Wednesday. I can make it until Monday!

Hard for me to balance staying busy with giving myself lots of down time. The last month or so it tipped into the being busy side and now that it has tipped the other way it doesn’t feel good. Once this cancer stuff is taken care of I really need to give that balance thing some attention.

And this too shall pass. Blogging has been helpful to me to help me find words for what I am feeling. Once I can name it I can allow it. When it sits like a rock in my gut and weighs me down I struggle to release it.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie. All is well!

Quiet day at home. Kathy’s tire that was supposed to have been fixed Wednesday was flat again this morning. She took my car for her horseback adventure. It feels good to be able to be at home all day in the quiet house.

I sent a text to Michelle to see if she is going to bring Ellexia out but I haven’t heard back from her. I may have the day at home alone.

Got the kitchen cleaned and put back together again from yesterday. This house seems to clean up easy. I still need to mop the dining room and kitchen floors and then regrouping will be done.

I went to bed at 7:00 last night and was able to sleep off and on all night. I’m still tired today so may take a nap today. I don’t have anything I have to do today at home so why not nap if I can.

I started setting out the clothes I am going to take to Peru. I am doing laundry today so I will have everything clean so I can start packing. Need to remember to figure out what I am going to wear the day of travel so I remember to pack that too as I will be at Nicole’s house the night before we leave. I can leave what I wear on Tuesday at Nicole’s house and pick it up when I pick up my car after the trip.

Some friends stopped by to see me late afternoon yesterday on their way home from their Thanksgiving dinner. I love when dear friends stop by. We had a short visit as it was getting late and they wanted to get home before it was dark.

My basement overflow drain backed up again. I put some baking soda followed by vinegar and then lots of hot water down the drains to see if that will help. I’ll check it again later to see if I need to get someone out to clear the drain. I need to remember to leave a name and number for Kathy in case it needs done after I leave.

I usually set up my Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving but haven’t felt the call to do so yet. Kathy said she loves Christmas trees and ask if she could put one up. That works for me! I do not like Christmas and all that comes with it. I’m go grateful I will be gone for two weeks during the Christmas season. Thinking I should have planned to not come home until after the first of the year.

It is to be in the mid 70’s today. Not bad for the end of November. It will be dropping into the mid 50’s for next week. We had to open windows yesterday as it got so warm.

I got the information from my health insurance company about my new plan for next year. I am reading it and trying to figure out where I am allowed to go to get a third opinion on the ablation for my thyroid cancer. Most of the information for the plan is on-line and not in the printed format. So if I find someone I will then have to go on-line to see if they are in network. I can’t tell if I am prohibited from going out-of-state like I was this year. What do people do that can’t get on-line?

Need to call my bank and credit card companies to let them know I am traveling to Peru so I can use my cards while I am gone. I always notify two different debit card companies and two different credit cards in case one has issues. I also need to get cash to take to pay for the remaining balance for the retreat. They were to send me the balance due but so far have not. My other two prescriptions are ready for me to pickup too. I think I will wait until Tuesday to go to town and do all my errands. May be fewer people out and about by then.

My ColonGuard kit came in. It has to be returned the day I collect the sample and can’t be mailed on a Friday or over the weekend. If possible I will try to get that taken care of either Monday or Tuesday before I leave. It looks easy enough to use and there is no prep involved. I do need to remember not to drink the bottle of preservative you pour over the sample when you are done. There must be ten warnings about that in the instructions. People must think it is the bottle of stuff you usually need to drink as part of the prep for the colonoscopy.

Feeling a bit of post-holiday let down today. Yesterday was so fun with all of us here. The quiet is a bit loud today. So grateful I am leaving on a trip next week and have something fun to look forward to. I need to figure out something fun to do in January too. As of right now I am putting the ablation on hold until I can have a face to face meeting with the Endocrinologist or can get a third opinion. My next appointment isn’t until February 2 so thinking that opens January for me to escape to someplace warm and fun. I read that the ablation is not time sensitive and it may be safe to put it off until the blood works shows you need to act.

A bit depressed today. Tired. Sluggish. It is a beautiful day on the prairie so may go out and take a walk when it warms up some more or else take a nap. All is well on the prairie today!

Another Thanksgiving feast cooked and served and cleaned up. We had a total of 21 people here today for dinner. Still had food left over even after I twisted arms to get people to take food home. Tomorrow starts the no sugar, no dairy, no processed food diet in preparation for the Spirit Plant Retreat in Peru. Most everything I served today violated that rule so I didn’t save anything except some leftover turkey.

The weather has been absolutely beautiful today. Mid 60’s with no wind. The little kiddos played outside most of the time. We had to open the windows as it was too warm inside with both ovens running and all those warm bodies. Love days like this.

Everything turned out really good. I did burn the extra rolls but they weren’t needed as the ones I hadn’t burned didn’t get all eaten. Other than that I didn’t have any disasters. I never know anymore if I can pull off a dinner or not.

Still have at least one more load of dishes to get washed up. I may hand wash them after I finish writing. I use disposable pans to cook and serve the food in so clean up is fairly easy. 21 people can dirty a lot of glasses, plates and silverware though. My dishwasher doesn’t fit that many in one run. I had already run three loads this morning plus hand washed another load. I attempt to use every dish I have in the kitchen when I cook.

So very grateful for those that came today. Nothing I love better than a full house of friends and family. No drama, no conflicts, just lots of good conversation, good food and lots of hugs.

Tomorrow the grandkids are coming out to spend the day. I need to start thinking about my packing list for Peru. Maybe now that dinner is over it will hit the top of my to-do list. I leave Tuesday so am running out of time to procrastinate on it.

It may be nap time. I didn’t sleep well again last night. Not sure why I have started not sleeping much again. Tonight is the night I may sleep! One can always hope at least.

The nurse from the Endocrinologist office called me yesterday afternoon. I ask her to explain the ablation procedure to me and how many trips to Topeka it would take. She couldn’t do so. Not sure if they don’t have a lot of these done or if I just got someone who hasn’t work there long and didn’t have a clue. I ask if I could schedule a face to face with the nurse practitioner or the doctor to find out more details and to discuss it more and she told me they didn’t have any open appointments until February. I already have an appointment February 2 so guess everything will get put on hold until then. I can’t agree to a procedure without knowing what is involved and the risks.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I have much to be thankful this year. All my dear friends and family are at the top of my list. All is well on the beautiful prairie today!

Six pies are made and cooling. Bread for the dressing is broken and ready. The first load of dirty dishes is in the dishwasher and running. Ingredients are set out for everything else. I will put the turkey in the oven late tonight and get up early to mix casseroles up and peel potatoes. A feast is almost ready! I still have room at the table if anyone wants to come join us. We are eating at 1:00. No reservations needed!

Still haven’t heard back from the Endocrinologist. I don’t expect to at this point until next week if then. I will call when I get back from Peru if I haven’t heard from her by then. Still not sure what to do about the ablation. Their lack of communication makes me not to want to do it though.

A bit nippy on the prairie today but the sun is shining brightly. It is to warm up for tomorrow and it will be a beautiful fall Kansas day. Glad the weather will be nice for those people who have to travel. So grateful I don’t have stores to be in or be responsible for this weekend.

The grandkids are coming Friday so Michelle can sleep. Not sure what we will do. They may be in the mood for a quiet day on the prairie. The next couple of weeks will get very busy and sometimes they appreciate a quiet day.

Feels so good to be able to stay home all day today. Kathy went in the Cottonwood Falls for coffee this morning but I wanted to stay home all day. She has a flat tire so she took my car. The guys from the garage in Cottonwood Falls are going to come out later today and fix her tire for her. Love local service guys!

Still need to clean two bathrooms and my bedroom and then the house will be ready for my guests tomorrow. I also need to dust but am waiting till the last-minute to do that as it doesn’t stay dust-free very long.

I didn’t sleep hardly at all last night for the first time in a bit. My body hurt last night. Not sure why as it is OK this morning. Maybe there was a weather change and I felt that. May need to take a nap this afternoon if I can fall asleep. So looking forward to being able to get my thyroid levels higher and resolving some of my sleep issues. They won’t let me raise them until I decide what to do about the ablation and that won’t happen until mid December. If I have the ablation my levels have to zero out for it to work right. I’ll be so grateful when all of this is totally behind me.

So looking forward to tomorrow. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. No pressure. Just lots of good food, family comes home and friends come over. Time to stop and reflect on all the things I have to be grateful for. It has been a tough year but things are looking up. Trusting next year will be a great one.

Beautiful day on the prairie. The house smells divine already. All is well on the prairie. I am blessed!

Today is a quiet day on the prairie. I do need to go into Emporia to pick up a prescription but they haven’t let me know it is ready yet. Nothing else I have to do today.

Have all but one dining table set for Thursday. Arranged the flowers and wiped the silverware clean. The tables look so pretty. I love setting pretty yet simple tables.

Kathy is baking a cheesecake for Thursday. She always made one for her family as part of their tradition and decided to make one for us. Yummy! I ask her to join me in eating a piece of pie Thanksgiving morning. Mom and I used to do that. The pie always tastes better before dinner. Love continuing family traditions in new and old ways.

I dug out my trail pants and tried them on to make sure they would still fit. I have gained weight since my Japan trip last August. They fit so am getting them washed up so I can get them packed for Peru. We won’t be doing much hiking but they make great travel pants as they wash easily and dry quickly. They also take up less room in the suitcase than jeans do. Three pairs of trail pants and three shirts and I am good to go for months at a time.

A week from today I will drive to KC and spend the night at Nicole’s house so we can get to the airport Wednesday morning to fly to Peru. I’m starting to get excited. I made a list of things I need to get done before I can leave.

The nurse for my Endocrinologist called yesterday and read me the ultrasound results. She didn’t know I had already read them. She said we needed to talk about the radioactive iodine treatment. I ask what the doctor had decided since I had an allergic reaction to iodine before. They had forgotten that little detail. She was going to check and get back to me along with several other questions I had for her. I haven’t heard back yet. For some reason they thought I was going to be gone the whole month of December. Not sure how they thought I was going to do the blood draw they scheduled for me to have done December 15. I sometimes think they need to zoom out and see the whole patient once in a while instead of just one detail of it. Still haven’t decided if I am going to have it done. Their communication errors make me lean towards not having it done.

Got most of the house cleaned yesterday. Still need to do my bedroom and the two bathrooms and then I will be done. I will do those rooms this afternoon.

Tomorrow I will bake five pies and break the bread into pieces for the dressing. I always roast the turkey Wednesday night so it is done and out of the oven so I have oven space to bake everything else Thursday morning. Makes the house smell so good during the night.

Since I have to go to town I want to set everything I need for Thursday out and make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I am hoping not to leave the house again until Monday. Heaven on earth to me to be able to spend five days at home without having to go to a store.

Another beautiful fall day on the prairie. It is a tad windy but there are bright blue skies and the sun is shining. Forecast is for sunny skies for the next week or so. It is to be in the mid 60’s Thursday after only being 48 on Wednesday. Gotta love Kansas and its unpredictable weather.

Rest day today. Love Thanksgiving and family gathering together. All is well on the prairie!

Went into Emporia this morning with Kathy to get the last of the things I need for Thanksgiving Dinner. Also got a bunch of stuff off of my Christmas cookie list. Still have a bunch of stuff on the list but my cart got full and I was tired of shopping. It doesn’t take much to get me tired of shopping.

My pharmacy called and I was one day too early to get my prescription for my thyroid pills refilled so will have to go back into town tomorrow. Funny how the ninety day mail-in prescriptions can be refilled thirty days early but the 30 day ones from the store only have a three-day window. I have a haircut this afternoon and was hoping that would be my last trip to town for several days.

I need to get my sleeping pills refilled too but the pharmacy messed up and didn’t record I had refills. I just called the pharmacy and after a bit of a delay they figured out they could refill it for me. I can pick those up this afternoon.

This has not been an easy day. I was typing something this morning and the computer kept trying to help me but it wasn’t really helping. Kathy heard me cussing and came up to see what was wrong. I filled a salt shaker and spilled salt all over the place. Nothing seems too easy today so am thinking I won’t try to do much today. No use going against the grain of life.

I noticed this morning my neck gets sore when I lift anything very heavy. It has been six weeks since surgery so am surprised it is still getting sore. I still have the headache I had from day one after surgery. It quiets down sometimes but always seems to be in the background. Today it is pounding loudly. I googled it and some people get headaches like this after their thyroid is removed. It is my indicator that my thyroid level is low.

Haven’t gotten a call from the Endocrinologist yet about the ultrasound results. She may be on vacation this week. I’m glad I have MyChart so I could see the results. What a relief to read that the results were normal and there was no lymph node involvement.

I must need to get through Thanksgiving before I can focus on getting ready for Peru. I started a packing list but it was a struggle. I’m going to set it aside and look at it again Friday. I will still have a few days to get anything I might want to take with me.

The wind is sure in a hurry today. I wore my heavy coat to Wal-Mart and got hot. If the wind would slow down it would be a beautiful day out. Not sure the lettuce will stay in the chicken pen long enough for them to eat it before it blows away today.

This afternoon I am going to start cleaning my house. It needs to be done by tomorrow night as I will start cooking Wednesday. May wait to dust until Thursday morning though as the wind is blowing in dust today.

For some reasons some of my mail in my Yahoo email account has gotten marked as Junk and shows up in my junk mail. I have hit the mark as not junk tab but it continues to go to the junk mail file. How do I fix this?

Not an easy day so far but am trusting it will get easier. Maybe as I move my body cleaning I can move into an easy day. Getting my haircut always makes me feel better so I have that to look forward to this afternoon.

Windy, sunny day on the prairie. All is well!

Much better day today! Woke up feeling like I had energy for a change. The sun is shining and it is a beautiful day on the prairie.

Made a list of things I need to get done before I leave the 29th for Peru. I have already finished a couple of things I had put on my list. I attempted to refill three different prescriptions but was only able to do one. One didn’t have any refills left so I sent a note to my doctor requesting one. The other one was lost when my insurance changed my mail-in pharmacy. I’ll have to call and ask someone how I fix that. The insurance company was to have sent me details about the new pharmacy but to my knowledge I haven’t seen that information yet. I still have three weeks of pills left so am just trying to get things taken care of before I leave and I will have the pills when I get home.

When I went to the web site to send my doctor a note requesting a refill for my sleeping pills I noticed the result of the ultrasound was posted. I couldn’t tell when the results were posted. Usually I get a notification when something is added but for some reason didn’t this time. GOOD NEWS! The ultrasound was normal with no dedectable lymph node involvement. The weird thing is when I did the quick evaluation at the Health fair the lady had told me I had quite a bit of my left thyroid left. The latest ultrasound didn’t confirm that. The left side is the side that had the cancer in it.

I haven’t received a call from the Endocrinologist yet telling me what is next for me. The results make me feel better about leaving to go to Peru. This makes the decision about having the ablation a bit tougher as the ENT doctor had said if the ultrasound was normal the ablation was optional. Guess I will wait to see if the Endocrinologist still thinks it is needed. Maybe she will recommend I don’t have to have it done and all that will need to be done from here on out is regular blood work and a repeat ultrasound occasionally. If she does recommend having it done I will have to sit with that and decide what to do when I get home from Peru. One step at a time!

Made a list of ingredients I need to do my Christmas baking. I plan on picking them up before I leave so when I get home I will have what I need to get things made. I usually send a box to my brother back east and I used to send a box to my sister but since she is here this year I won’t need to do that. Gene loves my fudge and New Year’s Cookies especially.

Tomorrow I need to go to town to pick up a prescription. I think I will get the rest of the things I need for Thanksgiving dinner while I am in town so maybe I won’t have to go back into town this week. Wishful thinking I know but I am getting tired of making daily or even twice daily trips to town.
If I wait to go till afternoon I trust the doctor’s office will have my script ready so I can get that one filled while I am in town too. Need to get a haircut before I go to Peru too. If everything works I can do all that in one trip. Fingers crossed!

So relieved about the results of the ultrasound. Sure wish they could have figured out a way to do that weeks ago so I wouldn’t have had to sit for so long with not knowing. I can deal with what ever I know about but it is the not knowing limbo that drives me cray.

What an absolutely beautiful day today. The forecast for Thanksgiving has improved and it now says the high is to be in the mid 60’s with bright blue skies. The wind isn’t even in a hurry today. Love fall days like today!

Realized yesterday we are in to the last 30 days before Winter Solstice. This is the time when I typically do my best shadow work of the year. It can feel thick and heavy and like nothing good is happening. Add to that a powerful new moon that is calling me to release all thing that no longer serve me and it is no wonder I fell in the muck pond again yesterday. Thirty more days and the light will start to return. The timing of the Peru trip could not be better. It is as if the Universe is calling me to become a person with even more love and light to share with others and is giving me all the support and love I need to help that happen.

Beautiful day on the prairie. All is well on many levels today!

The friend that was going to come over today got the flu and is home in bed. Trusting she will recover quickly. Empty space opened for me in an unexpected way for today. For some reason it feels very uncomfortable for me today again. Sure wish I could figure out why that happens.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. Probably because I took a nap yesterday afternoon. I was asleep early but my phone rang and then I had trouble going back to sleep. What a difference between getting three hours straight and not getting that much sleep. Sleep come back to me. I miss you!

For some reason I feel a rage or anger below the surface today. Nothing going on that I am aware of that would make me feel that way. Will try to figure out a way to release it today. Moving my body would help but the wind is in a huge hurry today, it is raining off and on and is not a good day to be outside. Maybe I can ride my stationary bike to move my body and release this feeling.

I thought about cleaning house for Thanksgiving but it is a couple days too early. I would have to do it again next week. I did get my light fixtures in the kitchen and dining room cleaned. I like the fixtures but they are a pain to keep clean.

Kathy was feeling unsettled today too so maybe it is universal junk and not mine. There sure seems to be a lot of heavy energy in the universe lately. Hard not to let it grab me and pull me down into the muck pond. Need to remind myself to let go and take a mud bath while I am down and not resist the heavy energy. The quicker I can do that the quicker I can walk out of it.

I called Craig to see if he needed to go somewhere today. He decided to drive himself today so I didn’t need to take him. Trusting he is ready for that.

Maybe I can start putting together my packing list for Peru. I am struggling to get excited for this trip. Somehow it doesn’t seem real to me yet. I was so wishy washy about going I think I convinced myself it wasn’t going to happen. Maybe a packing list will help make it real.

I also need to get out my Christmas cookie recipes and make a grocery list for those. Since I am going to be gone the first two weeks of December I won’t have a lot of time to get them made. Going to try hard this year to not make so many. Nicole used to take all my leftovers to work with her after our family Christmas but since she is not working she won’t do that this year. Hard to think about Christmas this year. Chris died the day after we had our family Christmas last year. Hard to believe it has been almost a year since he died. In some ways it feels like it has been much longer yet in other ways it feels like it happened yesterday. Kathy has been living with me almost a year now too. That too seems impossible. What is time anyways? Sure feels like a illusion to me today.

Still don’t know about the ablation and if I have it done when I might do that. We may have to schedule Christmas in January this year if I get the ablation done the week before Christmas. I will have to be in isolation for several days while I am having that treatment and there is a possibility of up to over a week of isolation.

Maybe my restlessness is due to all the not knowing what is going to happen. Need to remind myself to stay present and surrender what might happen. All I have is right now! I will waste the present if I start thinking too much about the future. It all seems to work out one way or another.

Another hard day for me. Feels like I have had too many of those lately. It is what it is and the faster I can accept that the quicker they will go away – they always do I just forget that sometimes.

Time to move my ass and move this heavy shit out. This is temporary. All is well on the windy prairie today!

It is only 11:00 and I have all my errands for the day done. I had my car at the garage at 8:00 for an oil change. I love that they vacuum, dust and wash my car as part of the service. It really needed a bath.

When it was done I went into Emporia to get the tires rotated. My timing was perfect as it only took five or ten minutes. Love local service!

Stopped at the bank and then bought some groceries. Stopped at the Locksmith to get Craig an outdoor rock to hide a house key in. The shop was out of them and will order him one. Stopped on my way home to drop some things off at Craig’s house. He wasn’t home from his PT appointment yet.

Feels good to have all those errands done and I now have the rest of the day free. Think I will try to finish the apron I had started so I can get that mess cleaned up and out of the dining room. Tired of looking at it sitting out on my tables.

Two weeks from today Nicole and I will be in Peru and starting our Spirit Plant Retreat. The first week of restrictions start today. The only one that really effects me this week is no pork – can I go without bacon for over a month? Next week I start the restricted diet of eating only fruits, veggies and limited amounts of white meat. I bought a bunch of veggies today with the intention of starting to eat mainly fruits and veggies this week. It is past time I start going no sugar again anyways. My pants are starting to yell at me for having gained weight again. Part of it is from my low thyroid levels but most of it is from eating too much of the wrong types of food.

It is to get to over 70 degrees today. Unfortunately the wind is in a big hurry today. Is this spring or fall? Kansas weather – gotta love it. So far the forecast for Thanksgiving is for temperatures to be in the mid 50’s. I’ll take that!

May need to take a nap today. I didn’t sleep much last night for some reason. Both feet were yelling at me all night long. They do that occasionally but thankfully they don’t hurt as bad as they did before I had surgery. Finally took something that helped a bit but still couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep.

When I was buying groceries I picked up most of the stuff on my Thanksgiving grocery list. I will have to make one more trip for some last minute things early next week but I have most of what I need. The stores will get crowded next week so it is nice I won’t have to be there long. Way too many people for my liking.

Craig called and told me Jason has pneumonia again. Jason had pneumonia last year too. Time for him to stop smoking. Trusting he will take good care of himself.

Feeling much more grounded and centered today. I can take some deep breaths today without feeling restricted. Not sure what or how I shifted from yesterday but I am grateful it has shifted. Even without much sleep last night I have more energy than I have been having. Grateful!

Empty space at last! Warm, windy day on the prairie. Grounded and centered. All is well on the prairie today.

It is one of those days where nothing seems easy. Glad they don’t happen very often for me. I have had a headache all day. Kathy has something weird happening with her body too. Maybe it is the new moon? I was restless most of the day yesterday too. Doesn’t feel like my stuff. Working on grounding myself but it hasn’t seemed to help yet. Better days will come.

Kathy and I went into Cottonwood Falls and had a nice long lunch with two dear friends. They lightened my soul. Always fun to spend time with other like-minded people.

After lunch Kathy went with me to pick up Craig and take him to town so he could do some errands. We didn’t get finished with his list as he got tired. He walked quite a bit while he was in Wal-Mart and Staples and it wore him out. He sure is doing better than he did yesterday though. Progress!

It took me three trips to the chicken pen to do chores tonight. Their feed container was empty so had to come back up to the house to get feed. They had dumped over their water container so had to fill it up. All that for only three eggs – the slackers! I don’t think they deserve fresh greens as most are not laying. You need to earn your keep around here.

Kathy and I were talking about surrender this morning. I remembered when I was in Core Star and learned about surrender. I was under the mistaken perception that once you surrender a situation you were done. I have since learned surrender is an action that one must take daily or even hourly. It is a choice you get to make over and over. I still can forget that sometimes when I get too close to a situation. Time for me to zoom back out and surrender a couple of situations I find myself in.

I have to have my car to the garage at 8:00 tomorrow morning so I can get the oil changed. After that is done I will go to Emporia to get the tires rotated. Always feels good to get those tasks done. Have two things I need to drop by Craig’s house on the way home and then I should be able to stay home the rest of the day. I am craving a day or two where I don’t have to leave the house. I have a dear friend coming to spend the day with me Saturday so I will get to stay home for that.

Got my Chase County Property Tax bill today. It went up $300 from last year’s bill. I was expecting it to be higher. My rental properties in Emporia had each gone up more than that. If it wasn’t for house, car and medical insurance and property taxes I sure would have lots more disposal income.

Hard to get through my head I will be in Peru two weeks from today. I haven’t even started making a list of things to take yet. Guess I need to get done with Thanksgiving before I can focus on the trip. Running out of time to run to KC if I think of something I need. No way will I get close to KC the weekend of Thanksgiving. Way too many people out then. I refuse to go close to a store on Black Friday – not even in Emporia. No bargain is worth that to me. Grateful I don’t have stores to watch over that weekend and I no longer have to work at anymore.

Not one of my better days. Finding it hard to find any motivation to do anything. I am tired of sitting but can’t seem to do anything else. I am hungry all the time and can tell I am gaining weight as my pants are starting to get tight. I’ll be so glad when I can get my thyroid levels evened out and all of this is behind me. I’m getting very tired of it all. Hopefully I only have another six weeks or so and I will be done with treatment and they can increase my medication level and get me back to loving life again.

Better days are ahead. At least the sun was out today. There was a beautiful sun set tonight. All is well on the prairie!

My task for the day is done. Empty space at last!

I took Craig out for breakfast this morning. He goes crazy if he has to stay home all day. His blood pressure was low this morning so he didn’t feel very good. We managed to get him in and out of the restaurant and even did a short stop at the grocery store for him. I was going to call his on-line pharmacy for him and readjust some of his meds but he was too tired to deal with that this morning. I’ll go by tomorrow or Friday and we can do that then. We had switched one of his blood pressure pills to morning but it is obvious he can’t take it in the morning as it drops his blood pressure too low. I switched it back to evenings in his pill-box for him.

After I took him back to his house I went back into town so I could get chicken feed, iced tea, and greens for my girls. I am hoping not to have to go back to town for a day or two. I have used more gas the last two weeks then I normally do in a month. Time to stay home for a bit.

Craig did agree to allow me to take him to PT Friday morning and to his other appointment Friday afternoon. I’m afraid he would be too tired afterwards to be able to drive himself home safely. Trusting by next week he will have regained more strength and endurance and he can take himself.

I welcome the sun back to the prairie. It has been on vacation the last week or so. I miss it when it doesn’t come out to shine. Sure lifts my spirits when it comes out. I had a jacket on when I was running my errands and almost got too hot. Love days like today!

I appreciated the beauty of the trees when I was in town today. I don’t have any trees on the prairie so I miss the fall colors. They are still beautiful although the leaves seem to be dropping quickly now.

Need to double-check my Thanksgiving grocery list and make sure everything I need is on it. I have most of it bought already. Just need the produce and dairy items. I picked up a turkey when I was in Topeka yesterday. I only got a 24 pound one as that was the biggest one they had. One disadvantage to living on the prairie is that a last-minute grocery run takes an hour. Need to remember to clean house the first of next week too. I tend to forget to do that!

I still have some empty chairs for Thanksgiving Day Dinner. We are eating at 1:00 so if you don’t have somewhere to go please come. No need to bring anything. Love having a house full on that day especially. I always have plenty of food.

A friend had read that I was taking a laxative every other day. She suggested I take magnesium instead. I switched to taking a 250 mg chelated magnesium every morning and evening. With my hypothyroidism everything has slowed down. The magnesium feels less harsh than the laxative and works better.

Trusting that when my thyroid levels get normal I can go off some of these pills. I use a pill-box these days as I am taking so many pills each day. Only four are prescriptions and the rest are supplements – most to help me sleep. With them I usually am able to sleep at least three hours straight every night and can usually go back to sleep for a bit more sleep in thirty minutes segments. Better than I had been doing.

Struggling to remember what day of the week it is. My routine is so screwed up lately. Nothing feels normal right now. Feel a bit like I am in a time warp of some sort. Am going to do some grounding work this afternoon and see if I can anchor into the present moment.

A friend that is an excellent seamstress invited me to bring my apron to her house tomorrow and she volunteered to help me finish it. She even said I could curse if I needed to and she wouldn’t be offended. What a dear friend and a very brave woman to allow me around her when I am sewing.

It is a beautiful sunny day on the prairie today. All is well!

Went to Topeka this morning for my ultrasound. It took all of ten minutes for them to complete it. The technician told me I won’t hear any results for at least a week and it can take up to ten days. With the holiday next week I am not expecting to hear anything until after Thanksgiving. Nicole and I are leaving for Peru on November 29. I can’t see any reason to postpone the trip as I won’t hear anything until right before we leave. As long as it takes them to get things scheduled nothing would happen anyways until after we are scheduled to get home December 14. I already have a blood draw scheduled for December 15.

Yeah! That feels good to know our trip is on. Time to start making my packing list and checking it twice. Hard to know what to pack. It is their summer time but in the high altitude it can get rather cool in the evenings. They sent us a list of a few things they recommend we bring. Nicole was going to pick us up each a sleeping bag as that was on their list. She found some that are the size of a roll of paper towels. A headlamp that has a red light on it was on the list. Thanks to Laura I have one of those that I use to do chicken chores with in the winter time. They did say to dress in layers and to bring a rain coat as we will be doing ceremony outside and will be exposed to the elements. I need to check my prescriptions and make sure I have what I need to be gone for two weeks.

Stopped by Craig’s house and put a beef stew in his oven before I left for Topeka. I’m going to go over later this afternoon and eat dinner with him. That should make his house smell good and help to welcome him home. Kathy picked him up at the hospital this morning, took him to get some prescriptions filled and then took him home. She said he was looking forward to having some privacy and napping in his own bed.

Empty space has returned again. I’m almost afraid to say that as the last couple of weeks I thought I was going to have empty space and it got filled up quick. Feels so good to know my calendar is free for the next three days. I might meet a friend for lunch one of those days but that feels fun. Nothing I have to do on my calendar. Trusting I can keep it that way.

Sorted the chicken feed when I got home today so I knew what I have and what I need. I pour their feed into empty kitten litter containers and they help keep it dry and safe from the mice that share the chicken pen with the chickens. Next time I go to Emporia I will need to get a sack of chicken feed. I have plenty of corn, oats and sunflower seeds. I filled the cat food container up today so in another two or three weeks I will need more cat food. The dogs go through a sack a week so that is a constant on my shopping list.

Have four loads of laundry to do this afternoon. I haven’t been home home long enough lately to get it done. Good day to change the sheets on my bed and wash them. Need to get caught up on house chores. I dumped the recycling bins and washed them out this morning. When I go into Cottonwood Falls for lunch later this week I will take it to the collection cart. It is trash day tomorrow so emptied all the trash to get it ready to go down to the curb in the morning. Feels so good to have time to do regular chores.

Still haven’t finished the apron I started. I am getting tired of having it sitting on my dining room tables so need to get it finished. It hadn’t been going well. I will give it one more try and decide if I am going to give up. I can’t believe how many mistakes I have made. It has been too long since I have sewed something other than curtains.

It misted on me most of the way to and from Topeka this morning. There was a bit of water in the puddles on V Road when I got home. We sure need the moisture. I sure am missing the sunshine though.

Ahhhh….. empty space. I have missed you. Welcome back to the prairie. All is well on the wet prairie today.