Starry night on the prairie

Sleep was almost impossible to find last night. Sure makes for a long night when that happens. Trying hard not to take a nap this afternoon so I can break this cycle and attempt to get more sleep at night.

I cleaned out the freezer to make room for the new beef that is coming later this week. I took 15 pounds of hamburger to Jason and 25 pounds to Michelle when I went to town today. Jason told me he went to buy some hamburger a week ago and the price was almost $15 for less than 1 1/2 pounds. Yikes! Still have some more hamburger that needs used up. Hit me up if you need some – it is grass fed beef. $4 a pound package.

Had a birthday lunch with Jason at Radius. The food was good as usual and it is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids. Jason treated me to lunch for my birthday.

I was going to go pick up the beef after lunch but it was looking like it was going to storm and I really dislike driving in the rain. I have to go to town tomorrow so decided to wait until then to go get the beef. I got home two minutes before the heavens opened and the rain came down.

Did some paperwork this afternoon. Wrote a thank you note for the Love in Action Project and got an insurance formed filled out for Kathy and got it ready to mail. Got some information from the insurance that Kathy got accepted for that I don’t understand. I need to find someone to explain it all to me. The first letter we got from them said she was covered although they didn’t send an ID card. This letter said she needs to spend down over $6,000 and not sure how we do that. Wonder if they could make this anymore confusing?

Looks like we have gotten close to an inch of rain so far and more is on the way. I hadn’t checked the weather forecast and was surprised when this storm rolled in. We had thunder and lightning during the night but little if any rain. Kathy’s flower’s appreciated what rain we got today.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia at 1:00 for my annual physical. Afterwards I will go eat as I have to go in fasting and then drive down to Olpe to pick up the beef. I will come home and sort and count the beef and then take 1/3 of it to a friend’s house. I will take 1/3 of it to Nicole Thursday and store the other 1/3 in my freezer. I think I have room for it. May have to get creative.

Just got a call from the meat locker to let me know my beef is ready. I had wondered why they hadn’t called earlier. Evidently their freezer went out and they had to borrow a refrigerated trailer to store it. The guy they borrowed the trailer from needed the trailer and took the beef on a journey. It is to come back tomorrow morning. Grateful I didn’t drive down today to pick it up. Oh, if the beef could talk! I need to remember to unload the two bags of dog food that is in the back of my car before I go get the beef tomorrow.

The empty space this afternoon feels more comfortable to me than it did yesterday. Funny how some days I can step into acceptance of what is and some days I am in resistance to it. Life is easier on the days where I can find acceptance of what is.

Grateful for lunch with Jason, grateful the freezer is ready for the fresh beef, and grateful for acceptance of what is in this moment.

This has been a quiet stay-at-home day. I cleaned out my freezer in preparation of the new beef arriving Thursday. I am taking some of the hamburger to Jason and Michelle tomorrow to make even more room.

The Sargent of the Detention Center sent me a request for a few items to add to the gift registry for the Detainees. I ordered four of the requested six hand held translators as they are a bit more expensive than most of the items I put on the registry and I had the funds to meet that need immediately. I put two on the registry and someone purchased one already.

I found the words to update the Love in Action project. I put it on the Love in action facebook page as well as in the group Be the Bear. Already several people have purchased additional items off the gift registry list. I so appreciate their purchases and support of this project.

The Captain called me this afternoon. He had been out of his office all week last week and wanted to touch base with me. He is amazed that items continue to come in. He told me that other offers to support the Detainees usually only last a few weeks and this one is still going strong. He did receive a box of things that he can’t accept so I need to stop by and pick those up and find another home for them. People are going to do what people are going to do!

We talked about phone cards for the Detainees and that doesn’t sound like we can make it work. It would take him about 15 minutes per detainees to make it work and that is asking too much as there are 148 detainees. We are both going to put on our thinking caps and come up with some other idea for Christmas time. I will put some Christmas cards on the gift registry the first of November so the Detainees can send cards. Maybe we will let them send four or five cards a week each during December.

Took another long afternoon nap today. Not sure why I get so tired mid-afternoon but I seem to find my best sleep during the afternoons. Not sleeping well at night most nights so I will take sleep whenever it finds me.

Jason called and invited me out to lunch tomorrow for my birthday. I needed to take hamburger in anyways so it will be fun to add going to lunch with him on my trip to town tomorrow.

Got a birthday card from a dear friend in the mail today and a donation of stamps from another person. Mail is more fun these days as donations of stamps, checks and cash keep coming in.

Kathy’s life insurance company that we are attempting to cancel a policy with called her yet again today. This is the fourth call they have made since they received our letter asking to cancel the policy. Each one has come from a different person and they all say this is the first time I have reached out. Wonder why they don’t get the message Kathy no longer needs the policy. It shouldn’t take four calls to hear that message.

We got a few sprinkles late morning. I was watching radar after I heard the rumbling of thunder. North and east of here got nice rains today but we were on the tail end of the system and barely got any. It added humidity to an already humid day and it was plenty hot this afternoon. We are to get a cool front coming in later this week and temperatures will be perfect next week with highs in the mid 70’s.

I was going to run to Wichita today but looked at my calendar and realized I have places to go the next three days and decided to stay home today. I have to go to KC next Monday to go to the lady plumber and can go early and stop then. Have a feeling after being out and about for the next three days I won’t want to go anywhere Friday, Saturday and Sunday. What I need from Costco can wait.

Tomorrow is a trip to Emporia to have lunch with Jason. Wednesday is my physical with my doctor. Thursday is a trip to KC. So much for empty space time this week! Luckily I should be able to stay home over the weekend.

It will be good to find out next week if I need surgery. I have lots of empty space on my calendar for September and if I don’t need surgery I need to find ways to fill some of it in.

Giving more thought to having the back porch torn off and replacing it with a new room plus a half bath. The old porch is in bad shape. The floor is not level and I’m afraid the freezer door is going to come open and I will lose what is in the freezer. The roof leaks and there is a draft that comes in under the door leading to the porch. It would be nice to have a bit more space and especially the second bathroom. I think when the property I have for sale in town sells, I will find a contractor and get that project started.

Feeling a bit empty today. These last couple of months have been mentally challenging for me and things are finally slowing down. I only have a few things left on my pending list and things will be handled. Needing to sit in the emptiness for a bit and let it remind myself of my beingness. It is easy to step out of that for me and not so easy stepping back in to it.

Grateful for the support the Detention Center, grateful for the relationship I am building with the Captain and Sargent of the Center, and grateful for sleep finding me this afternoon.

I went to town to meet Jason for lunch. He got busy doing errands and forgot. I had a nice lunch and then went to Walmart to buy groceries. Went through the car wash and then came home.

I took a nap again this afternoon. I had trouble falling asleep last night and was up really late and got up earlier than I wanted to. Felt good to get some good sleep. Wish I could sleep as well at night as I do in the afternoon.

No plans for the next two days. Wednesday I have my physical and Thursday we are going to KC. I may go to Wichita Monday or Tuesday to go to Costco. My list is growing and I don’t think we will want to stop after Kathy’s appointment Thursday afternoon.

Still haven’t written up the weekly update for the Detainee project. Not much news to report and no urgent needs. I need to keep people engaged though so will have to come up with something tomorrow to write.

Another one of those days that nothing feels important. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. It is nice to set down all that I have been carrying lately. I can always pick up the bits and pieces later.

My Facebook memories remind me that I left for the Camino de Santiago on my birthday ten years ago. I will never know where I got the courage to walk 500 miles across Spain. I was and still am a couch potato and that was way out of my normal behavior. That turned out to be the best thing I have ever done for myself. So many life lessons that I still use daily.

Grateful for afternoon naps, grateful for my Camino journey, and grateful for empty space.

This has been a quiet day at home. I did go to Strong City for lunch but other than that have stayed home all day.

I did four loads of laundry and cleaned the bathroom. I even managed to get the laundry folded and put away and clean sheets put back on the bed. Got a bit of housework done and have more to do when I decide to do it. But I think there is always housework that can be done.

I have been writing a weekly update for the Love in Action project but don’t have much to report this week so not sure what to write. I did get anther check in the mail for the project. A couple more things got ordered off of Amazon. I didn’t spend any money and didn’t receive any requests of things they need. I think they should have enough stamps for another couple of weeks although the lady running the program likes to stamp the cards ahead of time and we might need more stamps to accommodate that.

My annual physical is next week. I am starting to make a list of things to mention to my doctor. He usually doesn’t do much with anything I mention so not sure it is worth bringing things up. I go see the lady plumber a week from Monday and am hoping that appointment will yield better results. Modern medicine feels broken to me. Take another pill and gloss over the actual problem seems to be the rule of the day. No wonder people keep getting sicker.

No plans until Wednesday when I have my physical. I didn’t do a good job scheduling it as I have to fast and my appointment isn’t until 1:30. I will have to treat myself to lunch afterwards. Thursday I am picking up the beef and then Kathy and I are headed to KC for her appointment at the Memory Care Clinic. We will first go to Nicole’s house to drop off her portion of the beef and then we are all going to lunch and then to Kathy’s appointment.

I need something’s from Costco but not sure we will have time to stop on Thursday. I may run to Wichita and pick up what I need one day next week so I don’t have to cram a stop in to our busy day on Thursday.

Kathy and I have both been commenting about how long the days seem to be lately. Not sure what is up with that but the days seem long yet the month is flying by. I have a distorted relationship with time these days and have trouble making sense of time most of the time. It feels so artificial and somehow old fashioned. Not even sure what I mean by that but that is the word that came to me.

One of these days I am going to find some motivation to do something other than stay home. Haven’t thought of anything exciting enough to entice me out of the house lately. I have had a couple of mentally busy months and am feeling the need to reduce the stimulation to my brain and stay home to rest. I’m sure I will break out of this sooner or later but have no motivation to do now.

Grateful for quiet days at home, grateful for the privilege of being able to tune out the world for a bit, and grateful for air conditioning that keeps this house comfortable on these long, hot days of summer.

This has been a quiet day at home. I took another chair nap this afternoon. I got sleep last night but have never felt like I woke all the way up today.

I got the check from Max’s bank that closed out his two banking accounts. That was a process to get that accomplished. Grateful that is done. Now all I have left that I know about is to get the funds from the Series EE savings bond I sent in. I need to schedule a date with my brothers and sister to go scatter his ashes someday soon.

Got another donation in the mail for the Chase County Detention Detainees project. This one came from a lady in MD that had sent a check earlier. She sent a note saying this donation was from one of her friends back east. How very generous of them to share with us.

Not feeling very energetic or motivated today. Grateful to get one more thing crossed off my pending list. Not too many things left on the list.

The lady that came yesterday was to have called us this afternoon but she didn’t call. Not sure if she decided it was a waste of time as she discovered Kathy wouldn’t qualify for the program she was screening her for or what. I think we answered most of her questions yesterday so maybe she was able to complete her task without needing more information. It would have been nice if she had called to let us know what was happening though.

No plans for the weekend. I might go in to see the Healing Wall that is set up in Emporia. I have seen the real deal in DC which is one of my favorite war memorial sites in DC. Somehow the Vietnam War didn’t touch me when I was growing up as I don’t know any veterans that died in the war. I was disconnected from the news back then and was ignorant of world affairs. Kathy was an Army nurse during the Vieteam era but she never went overseas.

Next week I have my annual so called physical on Wednesday and Kathy has an appointment in KC at the Memory Care Clinic in KC. We are going to meet Nicole for lunch before her appointment. I didn’t call today about the beef but know it will be done by then so plan on taking Nicole’s portion to her when we go to KC next Thursday. I will have to run to Olpe Thursday morning to pick up the half of beef, sort it and take it to the three other people that are getting a share of it before I go to KC. Maybe it won’t be quite so warm Thursday and the beef will remain frozen while I am transporting it all to its new homes.

The following Monday I have an appointment with the lady plumber (surgeon) in KC. I will finally find out what they can do for my prolapse. It will be good to know what they can do and get the healing underway. Two trips to KC in five days is not my favorite thing to do but that is the way things fell on the schedule.

I had sent a note Monday to the Captain and the lady I am working with at the Detention Center and didn’t hear back from either one. Today the Captain got back to me and let me know he has been at a conference all week and the lady I work with has been on vacation. I am grateful he reached out and let me know why I hadn’t heard from them. They are to get back in touch with me the first of next week and let me know if they have any new needs for the project. I think they have plenty of stamps to last them a couple more weeks.

This has been one of those days that nothing feels important or urgent. I feel half asleep and brain foggy. Maybe my body needed a complete day of rest. I haven’t really been doing much so not sure why that is but sometimes the path of least resistance is to go with the flow and listen to my body. It is usually wiser than my brain is.

There was a post on Facebook today that said “The greatest act of resistance is to remain rooted in love when the world demands your hate”. It is credited to Ella Hicks. That resonates deeply with me. It is easy to get pulled off center and into the pits of hate and name calling these days. It still feels not enough to stay rooted in love yet when I think of the world where the majority are rooted in love I know it would change everything.

Grateful for a day of rest, grateful Max’s bank account is closed, and grateful for being grounded in love most of the time.

The lady Kathy had an appointment with came on schedule at 10:30. Only problem is she forgot her papers and computer so we couldn’t do what she came to do. However, we had a conversation with her and it doesn’t sound like Kathy would qualify for the program the lady was here for. The lady may come back next week or do a phone interview instead. She came from Topeka so it was a long day for her.

Kathy got the approval on the application we were working on which is great news. Now I need to find someone to explain the benefits to me so I can make sure we use this insurance properly and get her all the benefits she is now entitled to.

I got one of two insurance refunds I have been waiting for. I forgot to call about the beef. I will try again tomorrow. Thinking I will wait and take it up next Thursday and save myself a trip to KC.

It was a good day to get to cross two things off my pending list. Hoping the trend will continue and I can cross another thing or two off tomorrow.

Kathy got a call from the life insurance company that we are trying to cancel her policy with. Last time we did this a guy called and gave her a hard sell and wouldn’t listen to us at all. Kathy had me talk to the person that called and it took ten minutes to convince her that we weren’t going to hear the hard sell. I finally told her we had contacted the Kansas Insurance Commission and they would be in touch. The lady finally gave up. Companies like these give insurance companies a bad reputation. Still waiting on confirmation of the cancelation of her policy and a refund of her premiums.

No plans for the weekend. I started some housecleaning today and need to do some more this weekend. I tend to put it off until it really needs done. The dogs sleep up against the walls in the living room and I got those scrubbed down today. They were disgusting.

Today felt like a long day. I took a nap this afternoon as I didn’t sleep well last night. Hoping I can sleep tonight and not start a bad sleeping cycle again. I had been sleeping rather well this week until last night. One of these days I will figure out this sleep thing – it gets old dealing with it.

Feeling a bit isolated again. I need to figure out a balance somehow. That seems to be a a reoccurring issue with me this year. I get focused on getting things done and forget about the fun side of life. I have circled back into the circle of responsibility and need to remember I don’t have to live in it.

Grateful for two things off my pending list today, grateful for afternoon naps on long summer days, and grateful to remember I don’t have to carry all the responsibility and can step out of it.

I went out last night to watch for meteors. I didn’t see any but it was a beautiful night to sit out under the stars. There is too much light pollution to get a really good view but I am surprised at how many stars I can see living in town.

I went to Emporia this morning. I stopped at the Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. I got my favorite waitress and the food was delicious as always.

After breakfast I dropped off the check to pay for the new roof at my realtor’s place of business. Then I went to see Jason for a hot minute. My attorney completed the transfer of the deed from my name to Jason’s and had sent me the papers this morning. I dropped off a copy for Jason. I can cross that deal off my pending list! Yay!

I went through the car wash and then came home. The car wash does an OK job but there are always little spots of bug splash on my windshield when it is done. I’m glad I go through the car wash most every time I go to town as sometimes it takes several times through to get the splash off.

We didn’t get any mail today so didn’t move any of the other pending things off my list. It does feel good to be down to only one rental house now. I feel a bit lighter as a result. Sure hope I can get the other house sold yet this year. Trusting that the new roof and guttering will be good luck and I will get my money back.

Still haven’t heard from the butcher so I need to remember to call him tomorrow. He had told me two weeks ago the meat would be ready within a week.

Tomorrow someone is coming to do a home visit of some sort for Kathy’s application. Hoping it is the last step before her application gets approved. One never knows how many more hoops there are to jump through.

The guttering is to be installed tomorrow on the rental house. I already paid for it so hoping they do a good job.

Other than the home visit tomorrow morning I have no plans for the rest of the week. I will have to make a trip to KC whenever the meat is ready but not sure what day I will do that. Next week Kathy and I are going to KC on Thursday for her appointment at the KU Memory Care Unit. Maybe I will wait and take the meat up then and save myself a trip.

My birthday is next week. I usually plan my own birthday event but nothing has come to me to do this year. Maybe it will just slip on by and no one will notice it. I did order a cake for myself. I had gotten one for Kathy that was so delicious I ordered another one just like it for me. Kathy and I will enjoy eating it.

I need to call the kids and get a family day scheduled. We try to do that every three months or so and it feels like it has been a bit since we had one. Maybe we can celebrate my birthday celebration for whenever that day happens.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable with the in-between space today. I think I am even more uncomfortable with all the empty space that will happen after I finish my pending list. Time to find a new project. Just not sure what that may look like yet. The Detention Center is no longer taking much of my time. The next step of that project is being handled by someone else.

I need a project that will help build community somehow. I really believe that is how the world is going to change. We need to find ways to bring people from both sides of the isle together and work towards a common ground. Just not sure what project will help that happen yet. I will stay open to ideas and thoughts and see what happens.

Grateful the deed transfer to Jason is complete, grateful the new roof is on the rental house, and grateful for possibilities of finding common ground within my community.

I went to Emporia to take care of two banking issues. At ESB I was able to sign what I needed to sign and took care of business. At Lyon County Bank the lady I needed to talk to was on the phone with another client and then was going to lunch. I will have to try again. I have found at Lyon County Bank it usually takes two to three and up to five visits to get done what I need to get done. Wonder why that is? Think when I get the last rental house sold I will close that account and find another bank that only takes one visit.

Came home and took a nap. I had woken up at 4:00 this morning and was up till 6:30. Went back to sleep for another hour or two but didn’t wake up feeling rested. Felt good to get some more sleep today.

Got a text while I was sleeping to let me know the roof job at the house I have for sale is completed and the guttering will be done Thursday. That was fast. I will have to take a check in tomorrow to pay them. I trust this will help that house sell faster. Still no nibbles after being on the market for 40 days. Sure would like to be out of the rental business this year.

Haven’t done anything else today. Will have to run to town again tomorrow to deliver the check. Third day in a row to go to town. Maybe the person at the bank will be available and I can take care of that matter too.

One thing crossed off my pending list today. Better than some days I guess. Nothing came in the mail today that moved any of the other pending things forward. Patience, grasshopper, patience!

Today the in-between time felt OK but leaning towards uncomfortable. Most of the things on the list should be cleared off by next week and then what? I have way too much empty space ahead of me and that feels scary to me. I’m sure there is a reason for it and things will fill in. If not, it will be a good lesson for me on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable with empty space.

Grateful the roof got taken care of today, grateful one or two banking issues got taken care of, and grateful for afternoon naps on quiet days.

I had my Zoom call with a guy from Max’s bank this morning. The guy was five minutes late getting on the call. I showed him my driver’s license and then answered a few questions about Max. He then spent 15 minutes on his computer doing whatever it was he was doing. He finally said we are good to go and the cashier’s check would be sent and I should have it within 10 business days. Still not sure what that was all about but another hoop to jump through is completed.

After the call I went to Emporia to buy some groceries. I hadn’t gotten any for two weeks or so. Got what I wanted and then came home. It was a quick trip to town.

Haven’t done much since I got home. It has been a quiet afternoon at home. I did call my bank and gave them directions on what to do with a CD that is maturing in September. It is a IRA and I have to start taking distributions next year so could only renew it for a one year term. This will be new for me as I turn 73 next year. Wonder if the laws will change between now and then? I didn’t see any changes about IRA mandatory distributions in the new tax law but I sure could have missed it.

Sitting in that in-between space on all the things I have pending. Nothing moved on any of them today but trusting something’s will tomorrow.

Nothing on my calendar until the home visit for Kathy on Thursday. Still don’t know what that is about but guess I will find out Thursday. No plans for the weekend after that.

I would really like to get back doing some Death Doula work and help people write out their final wishes on paper. Everyone, regardless of income, age, etc. needs to have a medical power of attorney and an executor of their affairs for after they die. I can help with that paperwork if you don’t have yours in writing. Call me and let’s find some time to get it done. Settling Max’s estate reminded me of the need for a legally named executor and named beneficiaries on every account.

Today the empty space felt comforting. Not sure how much longer that will be though. Also not sure what I am going to do when I get my pending list cleared up. Too much empty space time is almost intimidating to me.

Grateful the Max’s bank account is closed and the funds are on their way, grateful the pantry is restocked, and grateful for me ease with empty space today.

Woke up not feeling very well this morning. Had diarrhea several times, my body ached and had a sore throat. For a bit I thought I was coming down with COVID as that is how my other times with it started. Took a chair nap and woke up feeling better so not thinking it is COVID. Grateful I don’t have it.

Haven’t done much today. I am feeling better this evening but don’t have lots of energy so decided to make this a total rest day and not do anything. I have managed to do two loads of laundry but I don’t have them folded and put away yet.

Tomorrow I may have a Zoom call with Max’s bank to prove my identity to them. However, when I got a second phone call from them they said they were cutting the check and I would have it in 7 – 10 days and didn’t mention the Zoom call. I will log on at the appointed time and see what happens.

I didn’t stop to get groceries when I was in town Friday so need to go do that tomorrow. I have not been eating healthy foods and need to get some and attempt to get back on track. I can’t seem to find the motivation to stay on track. Not sure what is up with that. I have been offering myself grace as the last couple of months have been full but now that things have quieted down it is time to get back on plan.

Hoping to hear the beef is ready to be picked up sometime this week. It will be fun to drive to KC and see Nicole. Hoping Ellexia will come along for the ride and then we can stop and do a bit of shopping together. School will be starting soon.

This has been a quiet weekend. It has been good for my soul as I have been able to relax into the quiet and let it feel my soul. One of these days I need to find a project and do something productive. I will keep my eyes open for one and allow it to come to me.

Grateful to be feeling better this evening, grateful for a quiet weekend ahead, and grateful for the privilege of being non-productive for as long as I choose to.

Just got back from driving out to the country to watch the full moon rise. My soul needed filled tonight and that did the trick. The moon is orange tonight and big and beautiful and reminded me there is a season for everything.

This morning I went through the file I had for Max’s estate and cleaned out papers I no longer needed. I am almost done with settling his estate. It will be good to be able to put the remaining papers in storage and free up some desk space.

I also cleaned out the file I have for Kathy’s paperwork. I organized it all and clip like papers together. Now I can more easily find what I need. I think we are close to the end of things that need done for her too.

Double checked the records I am keeping for the Love in Action project and made sure they matched with my VENMO account and the things purchased off of Facebook. I do a new tally every week of the money on hand and what I have spent. So far we have enough funds to meet immediate needs but I want to do a Christmas project and will need additional funds for that.

Wrote a letter to my Aunt Marylyn. She calls me regularly but I know she enjoys receiving letters too. I sent her a copy of the Chase County Leader News article about the Love in Action project. She will enjoy that too.

Other than going to watch the moon rise I stayed home all day. I am still in my pajamas. Kathy said something early afternoon about me making this a pajama day. I had forgotten to get dressed when I got up and decided when Kathy said something I would just stay home and keep my pajamas on all day. I didn’t have any where to go and no reason to dirty a set of clothes for only a few hours.

I watched a bit of the Chiefs game but it didn’t keep my attention so I turned it off. I have enjoyed quiet today and the game felt loud to me.

It was good to get the files organized today. I dislike clutter and both files were cluttered and had unnecessary papers in them. When my desk is clean and uncluttered it helps my mind be still. I didn’t find anything that I had missed following up on so that is good. For some reason I have felt more stress doing my siblings things than when I do my own. I don’t want to mess things up for them.

No plans for next week. I may have a zoom call with Max’s bank but not sure it is needed. Thursday someone is coming to do some sort of assessment for Kathy’s application. Not sure what that is all about. Other than that I have another rather free week ahead. The paperwork to transfer Jason’s deed should be finalized next week and the new roof should be put on the rental house that I have for sale. It will be good to get both of those things accomplished. The beef should be ready this week so I will take Nicole’s portion to her one day. I might check to see if Ellexia wants to ride along and go shopping after we deliver the beef.

Today has felt restful and I was able to sit in the in-between space with ease. Some days I can and some days I can’t. Never sure why that is but am grateful for the days where it is easy.

Sitting with lots of empty space ahead. This feels like a rest period for me to prepare me for something big happening later. Never sure what is coming my way but it does help to appreciate the quiet days more. Last time I thought I had lots of empty space days ahead was when my brother died and I haven’t had many since. Sure hoping it isn’t something that drastic again. I have been getting a message from the Universe to simplify my live in as many ways as possible. I can already feel the difference in me in several ways by doing this. There is so much uncertainty in the world right now that one way I counteract that is by simplifying my life. The more peaceful I can be the more peace I can share with others.

Grateful for the beauty of the full moon tonight, grateful my desk is clean and organized, and grateful for empty space days.

This morning I called Max’s bank to find out if they had received the packet of papers I had sent them so I can close out his accounts. They finally figured out they had after about a 20 minute conversation. Not sure why they weren’t all together but she had to find each of the four pieces individually. They then informed me they had to schedule a Zoom meeting for next Monday to confirm my identity. WTF? I had mailed them a copy of my driver’s license as they requested. She told me after the Zoom meeting there would be two more steps and then they could close out his accounts and send me a cashier’s check. She didn’t tell me what those two steps are.

I went to a lunch meeting with three friends. We are trying to decide the best way to proceed with a way to raise some funds to help undocumented immigrants have an interview with a legal firm to determine if they have a path to citizenship. Not sure we reached any decisions but it is fun to spend time with them anyways.

After lunch I went to Emporia to meet up with Jason to get some papers notarized at a local bank. I took the papers that needed notarized so I could cash a small savings bond Max had. Then I got the rental house deed transfer papers signed and Jason had to sign another form. That didn’t take long.

Went to the post office after that and mailed the two packets of documents – one to the Department of Treasury and the other to my attorney in KC.

I was going to stop for groceries but felt utterly exhausted and couldn’t make myself stop. Took a chair nap for a bit after I got home but my phone kept going off with messages and calls.

My realtor found a roofer that can put a new roof and guttering on the property that I have listed for sale next week and at a lower price than the guy that I have used in the past. That is good news! Someone called about the Detention Center project and needed some information about it. Got several texts about other matters.

I finally decided to leave my phone in the living room and laid down in my bed. I slept good for about an hour but woke up with a really bad case of acid reflux. That stuff is nasty! It took longer than normal for it to resolve. Not sure what I ate that would have caused this. I seem to have problems with it for a bit and then it goes away and then comes back hard for a bit.

Got another donation for the Detention Center Detainees in the mail today and two more people selected things off the wish list on Amazon. I so appreciate those that are supporting this project.

This afternoon another person called from Max’s bank to tell me she is working on closing his accounts and that I should have a cashier’s check within 5 – 7 days. The things that make me scratch my head and go WTF? Not sure now if I still have to do the Zoom call Monday or not. I don’t think their right hand knows what their left hand is doing in that bank.

Feels like I made some movement on my pending list today with getting the savings bond information sent off, got documents signed to transfer ownership of Jason’s house, and maybe made progress on closing out Max’s bank account. Yesterday the people called about Kathy’s application we have been working on and it sounds like that is almost completed. Maybe one of these days soon I will clear my pending list. I have been juggling my own things plus settling Max’s estate and helping Kathy get her things in order. I told Kathy today I have become a profession hoop jumper after having to jump through lots of hoops to untangle knots in managing these things. I have learned lots in the process.

No plans for the weekend. I maybe have a Zoom meeting Monday with Max’s bank. Thursday someone is coming to do some sort of in-home assessment for Kathy to finish out her application. Other than those two things I have lots of empty space next week. Hoping I can continue to clean up my pending list. We should finalize the transfer of Jason’s house next week and am hoping the life insurance policy Kathy had that we are requesting a refund for comes through next week too.

Feeling a bit better this evening after waking up from my nap this afternoon feeling icky. Whenever I have an episode like today it makes me appreciate my good health even more. Maybe that is why they happen?

It did feel good to see some movement in some of the pending projects today. Some of these have taken a long time to resolve. There is a timeline thing that had to happen and I couldn’t take the next step until something else happened. I sure have been getting lots of life lessons about the Universe timing and my patience.

Grateful the deed transfer is in progress, grateful the closing of Max’s bank account is almost completed (maybe?), and grateful my realtor found a cheaper roof replacement guy that can do the job sooner.

My attorney called this morning and woke me up. We talked through what I want to do with Jason to transfer ownership of the house he is currently renting from me and we agreed on a plan. I went back and forth between two options but we talked it through and finally figured out a way to make the simpler one happen.

I took an arm load of books to the little free library box in Strong City and filled it up. Went out for lunch after that and then came home.

To my surprise the attorney emailed me the forms this afternoon that I need to get notarized with Jason to complete the deal. I thought I would have to drive to KC to make that happen. Jason and I are meeting tomorrow afternoon to sign the papers in front of a notary and then I will mail them. The deal should be completed next week after the attorney receives the papers and files the deeds with the court house. That was easy!

Now if I could get the property I have for sale sold I will be out of the rental business. I mailed the roofing and guttering contract and am on their wait list for get the job done. He estimated about six weeks – last time they said that they were there in two weeks. We shall see what happens this time.

This morning was hard for me. After the phone call with the attorney I had trouble settling. I paced the house for a bit. Not sure where all the extra energy was from but it stuck around a while. Feeling more grounded and settled this afternoon.

Last night when I went to bed there was a fly buzzing around in my bedroom. It sounded like a helicopter flying in the room. I knew there was no use trying to go to sleep with that sound in the room. It took me about 10 minutes to get the fly to settle so I could get it. Man was it loud.

Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting with some friends. We are trying to figure out how to do a fundraising project to help undocumented immigrants get their papers so they can stay in the US. After that lunch I am going to Emporia to meet Jason and get the papers notarized and then mailed. Since I am getting something notarized I will take the information on Max’s Series EE bond and get those papers notarized too. I will stop and pick up some groceries while I am in town. Haven’t bought any for a bit and need to figure out what to get so I have food to eat for the next week or so.

No plans for the weekend. I still need to give some consideration about holding a rally the following Saturday. Inspiration hasn’t struck yet so not sure I will. I believe in the power of protests but I don’t like the negativity of them. I need to protest for what I am in favor of – not what I am against.

The Detention Center let me know the TV that the Love In Action group purchased has arrived along with lots of other packages. They requested a storage rack for the cards they are distributing so I got that ordered along with 300 postcards. Someone had donated a lot of post card stamps and I want the stamps to be put to good use.

Haven’t heard from the butcher yet so it will probably be sometime next week. I will make a trip to KC one day next week when the beef is ready so I can take Nicole her portion. I will plan a stop at Costco when I go as I haven’t been here for a few weeks. I always can find things to buy when I shop at Costco. Other than buying groceries, Costco is about the only store I go into.

Got the bill from the plumber for the third trip to get the faucet drip fixed at the rental house in Emporia. This bill was almost $1,000. Yikes! At least now the faucet is fixed. Wonder if they needed to put on the new faucets since that didn’t fix the problem? I don’t understand these things and sometimes feel like I get ripped off but never know for sure.

Feeling relieved tonight knowing that one more rental house will be off my books by next week. I love simplicity and if the other one sells this year I will be out of the rental business and able to do my own taxes after this year’s taxes are done. Things feel unstable in the economy to me right now and I want to tuck in and skim down what I have to take care of.

Saw a meme on Facebook today that reminded me if I want world peace, I have to create peace within me. If I want things to change in the world, I have to change the ways I do things. It is easy to get caught up in my own perspective and forget that my perspective is a limited view of the world. I need to remind myself to look at things for all points of view to find common ground. Not everyone thinks like I do – thank heavens! We all process things in our own way which is right for us but when I forget that others do it differently conflict can arise. Grateful for the reminders.

Grateful the attorney acted so promptly today, grateful I got the fly that was in my bedroom last night, and grateful the Love in Action group can meet some of the needs of the Detainees.

I went to Emporia late morning to attempt to cash a Series EE saving bond that Max had. I got my grandmother’s death certificate as her name is also on the bond. Unfortunately the bank cannot cash a bond in the name of a deceased recipient. They gave me the paperwork I have to fill out to mail in. I need to have it notarized and need to make sure I don’t have to have all my siblings sign off and be notarized too. Not sure all this is worth $115. I have already spent $35 to get my grandmother’s death certificate.

I figured out a way to transfer the rental house to Jason without tax and legal restrictions on how he pays it off. I called my accountant to get details and my plan will work from a tax perspective. I am going to talk to my attorney tomorrow to get the paperwork started. I don’t think it will take too long. Jason and I will have to go to KC to sign papers but we can do that. We just have to find a time when he doesn’t have clients already booked.

My goal this year is to get rid of all my rental properties so this is the last year that I have to file tax returns for Kay Krause 2, LLC. The rentals have been good tax deductions but I don’t like the not knowing how much they might cash flow due to maintenance and repair issues. I’m ready to simplify everything and make doing my taxes something I can do.

I signed the contract to put a new roof and new guttering on the house that I am selling. Given the current market I don’t think the new buyer could get insurance on it as the roof needs replaced. It will look much better with new guttering too. Prices for new roofs have increased about 35% since I did Jason’s house last year. Yikes! This house is smaller than Jason’s house but cost 35% more to roof.

This rental house has been on the market for over 30 days now and no nibbles or bids. The market has come to a halt. It is in the lower range on the market and am a bit surprised I haven’t gotten a low ball offer on it. Maybe the new roof and guttering will help.

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. I will need to get the saving bonds forms filled out and track down a notary so I can get those in the mail. I need to call the bank Max used to make sure they got the forms I mailed them and see if they have made a decision about closing out his account. I thought they said they would call me when they got the forms but haven’t heard from them yet. With the way the mail is these days it is possible the forms haven’t arrived there yet.

Not sure how the idea of how to transfer the house to Jason came to me but am grateful it did. Owner financing was way more complicated than I anticipated and felt too risky for Jason and carried 15 – 20 years of tax liability for me. I’m grateful my attorney didn’t call me back yesterday as it gave me more time to figure another way. Again I am reminded that the Universe has my back as long as I am patient and allows things to unfold on the Universe timetable and not mine.

The quiet felt comfortable and comforting to me today. Some days I sit in resistance to it and some days I allow it to nurture me. Today was a nurture day. Guess I have to sit in both sides of the range to appreciate the easier ones. It reminds me to be more conscious of other ranges I sit in and to push the self-limitations I tend to impose on myself.

Grateful for a solution to transferring ownership of Jason’s house, grateful for a day of ease, and grateful for the range of emotions I can play with.

After a productive day yesterday where I got several things crossed off my list I had a do-nothing day today and nothing was crossed off. We didn’t get any mail today so didn’t receive forms I needed to move other pending projects along. I didn’t get any return phone calls today so nothing moved there either.

I did take a long chair nap this afternoon. Kathy went to the movies and had dinner out with some friends so the house was extra quiet this afternoon. The dogs and I slept all afternoon long.

Nothing on my calendar for the rest of the week until a lunch meeting on Friday. I will need to run to Emporia one day this week for groceries but nothing else planned. I need to find something to do I guess.

My mind is empty today like my day was. It is nice to have a completely empty-space day occasionally. Not sure I like having the whole month empty though. I sometimes can find trouble to get into when I go looking for something to do.

Grateful for a chair nap today, grateful for the privilege of taking a do-nothing day, and grateful for a quiet head and heart today.

Feel like I got a lot done today. I mailed the response to the application that Kathy is attempting to get. Got six more rolls of stamps for the Detention Center.

Stopped by Dollar General and got some more letter size mailing envelopes. With all that has been going on the last two months with Max’s estate and Kathy’s stuff I have depleted my stock.

I stopped by the water department and paid my August bill. I had mailed my July bill on July 6 but they didn’t receive the check until July 30. Things that make me go WTF! I will hand deliver it from now on.

Stopped by the Detention Center to take the stamps and was able to talk to the Captain. I found out the problem with the stamps is the lady doing the cards with the Detainees pre-stamped a bunch of envelopes. The Center has received a lot more cards and envelopes that she wanted to offer to the Detainees but she had used all the stamps on other cards. They should have enough stamps now to last for several weeks although they may not have enough for all the cards they have.

The Captain expressed his deep appreciation for what the group is doing. They distributed the games that were ordered off the Amazon Wish List for the first time today and the response was a lot of excitement from the Detainees. The Captain made a point again to tell me that they are telling the Detainees where the new stuff is coming from and the Detainees send their thanks.

Jason wants to convert his rent to own contract to a seller finance deal which is good for me. I found out that due to tax regulations there is a minimum required interest rate that I have to charge. The Title Company I had contacted doesn’t do this type of deal so I reached out to my estate attorney. He didn’t call me back today but is usually prompt in getting back to me so I am expecting to hear from him tomorrow. If he doesn’t handle this type of deal I will have to find another attorney that can. Who knew this would get so complicated? Dang, sometimes the simple things are hard.

Did some housecleaning and got my desk cleaned off. I feel better organized now. Didn’t find anything that had slipped through the cracks although I did add a few things to my pending list so I don’t forget to follow-up on them.

The tree guy came and finished up the job today. There are still some limbs that look like they should have come down but what do I know? I trust him and the limbs I am seeing are small so if they come down they won’t do damage to anything. Good to have that project crossed of my list for this year.

I posted an update to the Detention Center project on three different facebook pages. I try to do that at least weekly and more often if things change. We should have enough money to go another 20 weeks or so unless something changes. I am still getting donations almost daily although they have slowed down. It should take lots less of my time as we continue this project into the future. I will do a Christmas push of some sort when the time is right and we can figure out what to give the Detainees. I probably will attempt to raise enough to give each of them a phone card. With 148 detained people it would cost $740 to give them each a $5 card. We shall see what happens. Christmas is a long ways away on one hand yet it will be here before I know it on the other hand.

KVOE has posted the radio interview that I did with them for the Feel Good Friday segment last week. I can’t figure out how to post the link to it but if you google KVOE Feel Good Friday it will take you to a page where you can click on Open Vault and you will find the recording. My voice sure sounds different when I hear it like that. The guy that did the interview did a nice job cutting and slicing and got the heart of the program in the short interview.

Got all my projects moved along today that I could. Now I am in a waiting pattern for something to happen before I can take any more steps of action. That beautiful in-between thing that seems to be a theme of mine this year.

No plans for the next couple of days. Trusting I will get some movement on some of the stalled pending projects and can get a few more wrapped up and completed.

The heat is to return tomorrow and through the rest of the week. We will be back in the 90’s for the rest of the week. It was sure nice to be in the 70’s and 80’s for a few days. Gave my electric bill a break. Kathy has done lots of yard work the last couple of days and took advantage of the cooler weather.

Sitting here thinking how things have a way of falling into the right places if you allow things to unfold in Universe’s time line and not mine. Patience is not always my strength although I am getting better at it. It helps to have a day where I get some things accomplished. Maybe I am on a roll and more things will get taken care of this week while I have all this empty space time.

Grateful for the Detention Center’s Captain and how he is allowing this project to happen, grateful for a productive day, and grateful for all the supporters of the Detention Center project.

I sent a text to Michelle, Tagen, Ellexia and Jason and invited them to join me for lunch at Bruff’s today. Only Jason was able to come. Kathy went with me so the three of us had lunch. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with my family. I dropped some peaches off at Michelle’s house when we were done eating.

Have spent a quiet afternoon at home. I am working on a letter for Kathy for an application she did. They needed an explanation for something. I have trouble remembering what I had for breakfast, let alone something that happened several months ago. I have the letter written but I needed to sit on it and then go back to it to finish it up. I don’t want to mess this up for Kathy.

Jason has decided he is ready to proceed with buying his house so I sent a note to the title company to draw up a contract. Not sure what all will be involved with this but will find out I guess. Grateful to be moving out from under another one of my rental properties.

I decided the house that is on the market would sell better if I go ahead and put a new roof and guttering on it. The one on it is almost done for and I heard it is hard to insure a house with a bad roof. The guttering at this house is sprouting trees in it and makes the house look uncared for. I don’t think it would pass inspection for close so might as well bite the bullet and get it done before all that comes up. I sent an email to the guy that has done several roofs for me in the past and has always done a good job. He is usually prompt in responding so will get that contract sometime this week.

Need to do another update for the Love in Action project. I am waiting till I speak to the two people I am working with at the Detention Center. I need to clarify a few issues and find out what is going on with the stamp issue. I will go buy some more stamps tomorrow and take them with me when I go up to talk to them. The Director will have lots of Amazon packages to open tomorrow. I’m excited to hear his response.

Tomorrow I will spend getting the above mentioned items taken care of. Have another couple of little things that need my attention too. Maybe I can clean up my pending list tomorrow – or at least the things I can move on. I have lots of empty space time this week so it will be a good week to clean things up.

I should hear back from Max’s bank this week so I can finish his estate matters. It will be good to have that project completed. He left things in fairly good order so it has gone rather smoothly and quickly. I have learned a lot in the process. It is absolutely essential for everyone -regardless of age, marital status, etc. to have an Executor named and then have it notarized. It can be done without the need for an attorney. It sure would have saved time in settling Max’s estate. I can help you with the paperwork if you don’t have yours done.

We should also hear back from the insurance company about the third life insurance policy Kathy had. I also need to follow up to make sure one of the others got handled properly.

I should get my grandmother’s death certificate in the mail this week so I can cash a Series EE Saving Bond that Max had. This process has been a bit more challenging than I expected. Trusting I can get this done this week without the need for further paperwork.

The tree guy came last week and worked for an hour or two but didn’t finish up. Trusting he will get back this week and get that job done. He did this last time too and took about six weeks to get it all done. This job is much smaller so trusting one more go at it will finish it up.

The beef I ordered and is being processed may be finished later this week or the start of the following week. I will make a trip to KC to take Nicole her portion of it when it is ready to go.

Still sitting with the notion of how do I stay grounded in love and be in resistance at the same time. It seems too big to hold it all so I have to break it down to what can I do. The Detention Center project was created out of that need and I am working on another project that might meet that need too. Would like to find some more ways. Still sitting with the idea of doing another protest in CWF. I want it to be a protest done in love though and need to figure out how I might make that happen before I put something together. How do I build community locally that it is done in love and helps us find common ground? That is my question of the day.

It is nice to have several empty space days ahead of me. Trusting I can put them to good work and get things done. I don’t have much on my calendar for most of August and need to decide how best to use that time. I am getting good at doing nothing but feel much better when I have a purpose and project to work on. The Detention Center project is up and running and doesn’t take as much of my time as it did at first.

Grateful for the time with Jason today, grateful for the response to the wish list for the Detention Center project, and grateful to be grounded in love and active in resistance.

Kathy and I headed to Topeka at 8:30. We stopped at McDonald’s on Kansas Avenue for a potty stop before we went to the Capital. Food was good but service was exceptionally slow.

Not a very big turnout again today for the rally. I am struggling going to them as most of the signs are negative. We need to stop with the hate – on both sides. Countering hate with hate keeps us in a low vibration and doesn’t allow for problem solving energy to come forth.

They did fix the loud speaker problems they have been having. They had encouraged people to bring noise makers so Kathy and I stayed back a bit as loud noises are not my thing.

I made a sign that had a red heart on it and below the heart were the words “Love in Action”. Kathy used the sign I had used two weeks ago that said “I stand in love with all. Free hug”. Kathy got several hugs today.

I hope the low turnout for the last two rallies is because it is summer time and people are on vacation and not because people are giving up. It does seem the rally’s and protests do not seem to be accomplishing much short-term. We are in it for the long-term but it is hard to keep people engaged for the long-term.

There is another rally planned in Topeka for Labor Day weekend and another national rally one being called for in two weeks. I think I will attempt to organize another one in CWF in two weeks. I want a rally where love is the theme and we work to build bridges between the two sides. I have been told I don’t need a permit for a rally like the one I had last time. I will sit with this over the weekend and if I decide to go for it I will get a post put together.

Since we stopped for breakfast before we went we weren’t hungry and came straight home. We didn’t stay for the rally march as they chant things I don’t feel comfortable with.

Kathy got a letter from an application she has sent in. I need to write a letter and gather the information they are requesting. We don’t have a paper trail for what they are asking about so am sitting with it and trying to figure out the best way to respond.

Sent a note to the Detention Center to find out if they have any urgent needs. They told me they are short on stamps again. I need to talk to them Monday as I have given them over 600 stamps which should have been enough for four weeks. I think they are doing the cards once a week and this is only the second week so not sure the math makes sense. I’m sure there is an explanation for it, I just need to understand their process and needs so I can keep this project going.

I did notice on their list of detainees that they are over their capacity of 148. Sometimes the list isn’t completely accurate. I will check on that Monday too. It would not surprise me to learn that they are being forced into an overcrowded situation. Not a lot of planning went into the current push to pick people up and little thought was given as to where to put them. Wonder if the Detainees are spending more time at the Detention Center before they can get processed out? I would assume that process is backlogged too.

Made a peach cobbler and bakes some peaches when I got home from Topeka today. The cobbler is delicious and I haven’t tried the baked peaches yet. The cobbler was my dinner tonight! The peaches are nice and big and only a few are fully ripe. It is nice to have some time to get the box worked up.

No plans for next week except a lunch meeting on Friday. I have lots of empty space right now. Time for me to find some good trouble to get into!

Feeling a bit empty this evening. Being in a group wears me out. I had to put an energy bubble around me to help keep the negative vibes away at the rally today. On one hand I am glad I went yet on the other hand I’m not sure it does any good. I think I need to keep my focus on my Love in Action project and figure out ways to expand it. Solutions are not going to come from our elected officials- they are going to come from the bottom up.

Grateful for another cool, summer day, grateful for the privilege of being able to peacefully demonstrate, and grateful for fresh juicy Colorado peaches.

Had another one of those nights that sleep played hide and seek all night. It was hard to find and I got very little sleep.

I met Tagen a little before 10:00 this morning. We went to the Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. Food and service were outstanding as always.

Then we went to the car dealership. I didn’t like the deal Tagen had gotten and their inability to negotiate with me. I wanted it handled one way and they were set on their way. They hadn’t rolled the cost of the sales tax into the deal. I told them unless they changed that the deal was dead. They said no so we walked out.

We went to the Court House to change the title of the truck into Tagen’s name. The wait was about 30 minutes. The lady that helped us was very efficient and helpful. She made it easy for us.

I took Tagen home when we were done and then I headed for home. I remembered the Colorado peaches are here so I stopped at the peach stand on my way home and got a box of peaches. They aren’t ripe yet so have some time to work them up.

A lady from SE Kansas called to find out how I had gotten the Caption of the Detention Center to allow what he is allowing. We had a pleasant conversation. We both agree that people are looking for a tangible project that you can see the results immediately. We also agreed that we need to work with and not against the staff at the Detention Centers.

I got two more checks for the Love in Action project in the mail today. I had gotten one yesterday too. I got the thank you notes written this afternoon and they will go out in tomorrow’s mail. I took a small box of note cards up to the Detention Center this afternoon. The two people I wanted to talk to weren’t there today so I left the box of cards. In front of their door was a big pile of Amazon packages that they get to open and put into use. Christmas time in Chase County!

Tomorrow I am going to Topeka for the rally. I think Kathy is going to come with me if she is having a good day tomorrow. We will leave around 8:30 so we have time to stop and take a potty break before we go to the rally. We will probably have lunch somewhere afterwards and then head home.

I made a new rally sign for tomorrow. This one says Love in Action and has a big red heart on it. I strongly feel we have to quit with the hate and join all together in love.

The weather has been beautiful this week. So much cooler. I could get used to this cooler weather quickly.

I got a call from the Vital Statistic people about my request for my grandmother’s death certificate. Evidently they are not available for just anyone to order. She asked me some questions about my family and I must have given her the right answers as she said she would get it in the mail today. I need it so I can cash a Series EE saving bond that Max had. The bond also names my grandmother as she is the one that gave it to him. I need her D/C so I can get it cashed.

I feel like I have caught in a paperwork web for the last three months and I am struggling to get fully out of it. I think I am on the tail end of most of it but a few projects continue to linger. It felt good to get the transfer of the title of Tagen’s truck completed today.

After tomorrow I don’t have much on my calendar for next week. I still have a few pending things that I hope break open and I can wrap them up.

I’m tired this afternoon. Doing my best not to take a nap in hopes that if I go to bed early I will get some good sleep. Sleep seems to be hard to find for me again.

I need to take some time and go through my desk again and make a new pending list. I don’t want something important to get missed.

My realtor sent me a text today to tell me she has had several more showings of the house but no nibbles yet. Not sure what I want to do with it if it doesn’t sell and how much time to give it. The real estate market has certainly changed from a year ago.

Feeling a bit empty this afternoon. It will be good to have a quiet week next week. I feel some emotion that needs to be given breathing space and time to surface. It will be good to slow things down.

Grateful we got Tagen’s truck title transferred, grateful others might be expanding the Love in Action project to other facilities, and grateful for this beautiful cooler weather.

I went to Emporia with a friend around noon today. We met another friend and had lunch at Radius. Great food and even better conversation.

The three of us went to a meeting with the Director of the Spanish Speakers of Emporia group. The man running the group is impressive and we share many of the same values and beliefs about the work he is doing. He is broadening his reach and hopes to create chapters in the other cities of KS that serve a high population of Spanish speakers.

I am searching for a way to help connect people to best meet the needs of the immigrant population in our state. There are needs in getting documents, work permits, driver’s licenses, etc. There are also needs for the families that are left behind if a loved one is deported.

The group I met with today is meeting those needs in a variety of ways. They work with a legal service that has a reasonable cost to help immigrants in their citizenship quest. They also provide employment services and are a wonderful resource to let people know where they can go to get their needs met.

Not sure where this is all going but I certainly want to partner with them in some way. Many people are looking for ways to help their friends and neighbors that are caught up in all the political chaos and are not sure what to do. Partnering with this group that is already doing the hard work seems possible.

We are all going to sit on what we learned today and then will be meeting again to come up with a more definitive plan on a way to work together in the future. Not sure that I will be taking the lead role on this project but there is a possibility of merging the Love in Action project with this group if my little project continues to grow and expand.

The two friends I met with today are the two that are providing financial oversight to the Love in Action project. I gave them a list of all the contributions and amounts and what I have spent so far. It feels good to be able to share the details with someone.

Have had lots of conversation with Tagen today about his truck. I am meeting with him tomorrow and hope that we get things resolved. I want the responsibility of the truck taken off my load. Not sure what steps we need to take to do that yet but hoping we can get it all figured out tomorrow.

Got my water bill today and noticed that I had a late fee and they didn’t have record of me paying my bill last month. I checked my banking account and the check cleared but not until yesterday. Wonder why it took three weeks for a check I mailed from Cottonwood Falls to get to another place in Cottonwood Falls. Think I will deliver it in person from now on.

Got another package in the mail today for the Love in Action project. This one had lots of note cards plus a check. People are so incredibly generous. Several more people ordered things via Amazon to be delivered to the Detention Center.

I need to either call or go to the Detention Center tomorrow to see if they have any immediate needs. It is good to get an update as to how the opportunity to send a card is being received. They should have started receiving lots of items from the wish list by tomorrow. Bet it feels a bit like Christmas to them.

My radio interview is to be aired tomorrow. I hope to catch it live but they should post it on their website afterwards so I can catch it then if I miss it live. We talked for over ten minutes and the segment is only for two minutes so hard to know what he will put on air. Trust it will sound OK.

Saturday Kathy and I are going to Topeka to protest. I have room in my car for at least two more and could take three more with us. We will leave CWF around 8:30 so we have time to take a potty stop before we go to the Capital grounds for the rally. We will probably eat lunch somewhere in Topeka before we come home. Holler if you want to ride along.

Next week has a lot of empty space. I’m sure some of it will fill in but it is nice to have a clean slate to start my week. Feels like it has been a bit since I have had several empty space days in a row.

So appreciative of my friend that organized the meeting today. I am impressed with the work this organization is doing and for the potential of a partnership. Together, we can do great things.

I think partnerships like this is how we start to rebuild this country. Building a community of people that care and are willing to work together to serve all is the key to the future success of our country. Grateful to find people already in the trenches doing the hard work.

I’m a bit exhausted this evening. It was an exciting meeting but I came home feeling very drained. More and more when I am out and about I come home feeling drained. I am able to hold my energy above neutral while I am out but I feel the toll that takes on my body. Grateful I have quiet space to come home to and can refill and recharge so I can go out again. These days I need lots of quiet time before I go back out.

Working hard to stay in my observer role and not get attached to any outcomes. This path ahead will be full of unexpected twists and turns, starts and stops, and detours and leaps of faith. If it is meant to be together we will find a way to move this project ahead.

Grateful for my friends and their contacts to put this all together today, continuing to be grateful for those supporting the Love in Action project, and grateful for a new way to be in service to my friends and neighbors.

I made it to my Endocrinologist appointment in Topeka at 10:00 this morning. They called me right back at 9:50 but I had to wait until 10:20 until the PA came in. We had a quick visit and I left. No news on anything which is good news. I’m surprised they are still following me so closely. It has been since 2017 that the thyroid cancer was discovered.

I went to fill the car up with gas and then went to BoBo’s by the hospital for lunch. They are an old-fashioned hamburger place and I enjoy eating there occasionally.

After I had lunch I went to the Heart Center and had my throat ultrasound. That took all of five minutes.

It is always interesting to me how they do the ultrasound. I don’t think any of them have ever done it the same way. Some go all the way up my chin and some don’t touch the chin. Some go all the way around my neck and some only do the front part. Things that make me wonder….

Had a quick and safe trip home. Not much traffic today which was nice. The only construction today was the local stuff at Strong City and in front of Flying J in Emporia.

Did an update on the Love in Action site. That usually prompts lots of questions and comments that I need to respond to. Interest is slowing down a bit but we have plenty of funds to cover several months of stamps and cards if additional supplies don’t come in. I have someone that is willing to coordinate a media blitz when the time is right for that.

So far 49 things have been purchased and are on the way to the detention center off the Amazon gift list. It will be like Christmas at the Center when those things start to come in. I will check with them Friday and see if there are any other things to add to the list. Several people are purchasing stamps off the list so that is good and will make the cash reserve last longer.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia for a 2:00 meeting. I am meeting with two dear friends before the meeting to have lunch and then we will all go to the meeting. Hoping we can come up with another idea to share with others on ways to support the detainees and their families left behind.

Friday is an empty space day although I do need to meet up with Tagen and take care of an issue with his truck. Saturday I plan on going to the protest in Topeka in the morning. Trusting it will be better attended than the last one.

So far I don’t have anything on my calendar for next week. I’m sure some things will pop up and fill in a few days. The beef may be ready next week so will make a trip to KC to take Nicole her share if so.

I saw a Facebook post from a dental hygienist who is a student at the Vo-Tech looking for clients for this fall. Kathy nor I got called last year so I got hold of the student and we now both have appointments for the first week in September. The cost is only $20 and they do a very detail clean. Kathy won’t have to pay as she is a veteran. It does take several hours but if you have the time it is a service to the students to go there. I have her contact info if anyone wants to try it out.

I welcome the cool front that is coming in tonight and will hang around for a few days. I do not do well in this heat and will appreciate the cooler weather. We might get some rain out of it too.

I took a nap this afternoon when I got home. The trip wore me out and I had to get up and get going early today so I could leave the house by 8:20. I am privileged to be able to take naps whenever I feel I need one. Wish I could fall asleep at night as easily as I do when I take a nap.

Went to print my missing blog pages and discovered I had quit blogging for about six months way back when. I had forgotten I did that. Curious to me now as to why I did that. It was during my marriage to Jim and I am betting I was starting to be ungrounded and unsure of what was true. Funny what hindsight can tell you.

Feeling a bit depressed tonight. The world news just keeps getting worse. I may need to turn it off for a bit again. All I can do is focus on building community and sharing love and trust that the world is being rebuilt in a new way that isn’t loud and chaotic. We have tried hate. We have tried war. We have tried greed. It is time to let love have a chance.

Grateful the medical things checked out OK today, grateful for those that are contributing to the Love in Action project, and grateful for the cooler temperatures.

I went to Olpe this morning to give cutting orders for the beef they are processing for me. I told them I got shorted last year. Trusting that won’t happen again.

I stopped at Jay’s for a hamburger when I got back to Emporia. They have old fashioned service there – what a treat.

Stopped at the Post Office to see if they will forward Max’s mail. On-line they said I had to do it in person and needed the probate paperwork giving me permission to have his mail come to me. The guy that processed it looked at the death certificate and entered some information from it but didn’t look at the probate papers. Dang, I would have done this two months ago if I had known I didn’t need the probate paperwork.

Stopped at the house I am selling and the bath tub faucet is no longer dripping! That took the plumber almost two months to make that happen. Grateful it is fixed.

Went through the car wash and then came home. It is another hot one out there and was glad to get home and be able to stay inside the cool house. I am so grateful I put in central air before we moved into this house. Can’t imagine doing this summer heat without it.

Someone from KVOE radio called me this afternoon and did a phone interview with me. They are going to feature the Love in Action project on their Feel Good Friday segment. It is only a two minute segment and we talked for ten minutes so hard to know what they will air. I haven’t listened to a radio for a long time but will have to remember to tune in Friday. Not sure what time of day they play this segment. I found some segments on their website so thinking if I miss it live I will be able to listen to it later.

Being in the news and being interviewed is not my favorite thing to do. One never is quite sure how what one says will be interpreted and reported. I trust it will result in more interest in the Love in Action project.

So far about 38 of the over 200 things I listed on the Wish List yesterday have been purchased. Most of the items need multiple purchases. There are not over 200 individual items listed. I am pleased with the response so far. I will continue to publish the links to it so people can find it easily. I still have about $3,000 I can use to purchase the things that others don’t pick. Not sure what I will do when we run out of funds but I will cross that bridge when I get there. Have enough funds to last for several months of weekly mailings from the detainees to their loved ones.

I have a printing job I need to do this afternoon. Discovered I am missing about six months of my blog for a couple of years ago. If the mood hits I will try to get that done. It takes patience as I have to tell the printer to print and can only do about 10 requests and then have to wait for it to catch up. If I keep requesting printing it will lock up.

I sat outside for about 15 minutes last night to see if I could see any meteors. I may have seen a couple very small ones but nothing else. It was a beautiful night to sit outside. It is amazing how many stars I can see here in town from my yard. Too many trees around to get the full sky. If I remember I will go back out tonight as two different meteor showers are to peak tonight.

Tomorrow I have to be in Topeka by 9:45 for a doctor’s appointment. Afterwards I have a throat ultrasound. Will probably stop for lunch after the ultrasound and then come home. I can’t think of any shopping I need to do in Topeka.

Thursday I have a meeting in the afternoon with a group that works with the Spanish speaking population in Emporia. We are looking for ways we can work together to support the families that are being impacted by the ICE raids. A couple of dear friends are going with me so it will be a good day.

Saturday I plan on going to Topeka to the protest. It is to cool down and be a good day to be outside that day. Still not sure how productive protests are but feel I need to attend. If anyone wants to ride along let me know. It is more fun when I go with people I know.

Can’t believe it is going to be August next week. July flew by for me. I had thought things might slow down around here but so far it doesn’t feel like they are. My August calendar has lots of empty space on it but somehow it manages to get filled in, sometimes in unexpected ways.

I was able to cross two lingering items off my to-do list today with getting Max’s mail forwarded and the bathtub drip fixed. Seems like whenever I can cross a thing or two off I add a thing or two. I had gotten two of Kathy’s life insurance policies handled and then found another one to add to the list. Still have another application pending for a different matter for her we are working on. They are to send paperwork and I have a tight turnaround time to get it back to them. That type of stuff seems to be hard for Kathy to mange now. Good thing I can usually figure that type of thing out.

Still no nibbles on the house I am attempting to sell. Not many lookers right now. May have to rent it out again although I would rather make someone a really good deal on it just to get rid of it. It would make a cute Airbnb property if one was looking for that type of thing.

Feeling a bit isolated and out of touch again. At the same time not sure I can people right now. Large groups are getting harder and harder for me to manage myself in. It takes too much of my energy being in them and I come home feeling drained.

I feel out of balance somehow but not sure where or what is causing that. I have an intensity inside that is keeping me focused on the Love in Action project and it is hard to look away from it. Haven’t felt that type of energy inside myself for a bit. I will play this out and see where it goes. Doing my best to stay in my observer role and allow this project to proceed without expectations or goals on my part. Somehow it feels like this could turn into something bigger than I can explain or know now.

Grateful the drip has been fixed, grateful Max’s mail will be forwarded, and grateful for places like Jay’s that remind me of the way businesses can still be run and keep customer satisfaction at the top of the goal.

This has been a day I have spent on technology. Some days it goes easy and some days not so much. This has been a not so much easy day.

I finally got the wish list from the Director of the Detention Center. I tried setting up a wish list on Amazon on my iPad. I couldn’t make that work. I switched to my desktop and finally figured it out.

Then I got another wish list from the Detention Center and had to add items. It took me a hot minute or two or three to figure out how to do that.

I put a notice on one Facebook group about the wish list and referred them to the new page I set up Love in Action. Some could find the new page and some could not. It took me a long time to figure out how to link the two accounts. Dang, this stuff is hard sometimes.

Then I needed to pay Nicole my portion of our trip to India. My Venmo page does not have an Add Funds button. It would not allow me to pay Nicole. Nicole requested funds and it went through that way. Things that make me scream and cuss! I struggle when things work the way they are intended to work and when they don’t work I don’t know how to fix them. I still haven’t figured out why I can’t pay someone.

I think I made all of this harder than it needed to be by my ignorance.

The second email with the second wish list I got from the Detention Center told me they needed more stamps. I had gone to the post office this morning to mail something so I had to go back and got 300 stamps for the Detention Center. I took the stamps up to the Detention Center and got to talk to the lady that did the passing out of the note cards and envelopes. She said the project went over extremely well and that most every detainee took advantage of it. It lightened the mood in the Center.

I’m grateful I got the two lists and as soon as I published them people started ordering things off of them. Three different people have ordered things already and they just got put up.

I got a phone call from the doctor’s office that I am going to about my prolapse. The doctor I am to see is going to be gone the week in October that my appointment was scheduled for. They asked if I could come the end of August instead. Of course I said yes. Wonder why that appointment wasn’t available when I called a month ago? The things that make me go WTF? I struggled to get on their app and find the address of the appointment. I finally figured that all out. Not an easy day for me with technology.

Someone stopped by with a donation of stamps and cards for the Detention Center project. I took their postcard stamps and regular stamps to the Detention Center when I dropped off the stamps I had purchased for them. It is going to keep me busy buying stamps each week as they use at least 148 a week.

Good thing I had nothing else to do today but figure out technology things. It has literally taken me all day to do a couple of what should have been simple things to accomplish. I had to talk myself off the ledge a couple of times.

Tomorrow is another empty space type of day. Maybe I won’t raise my blood pressure trying to figure out technology things tomorrow. It was good to get the wish list published and the bank papers mailed. I still need to write a letter to Kathy’s insurance company and cancel the life insurance policy we discovered she has last week.

Wednesday I go to Topeka for an Endocrinologist and ultrasound appointments.

We are to get a cool front starting Thursday and it will hang around for about a week. I am grateful as we have been way too hot for my liking lately.

Feeling a bit flustered this afternoon. Not sure why it was so hard for me to make things work. Grateful I managed to get there but it sure took lots of cuss words and frustration to get there. Maybe I need to go back to school and learn the right way to do things.

Once I take a step back and look at a bigger picture of today I will be back into gratitude for what I got done today. I got the trip to India paid for, the wish lists are published and being taken care of, the papers to clean out Max’s bank account have been mailed, I replenished my personal stamp supply, and my doctor’s appointment got moved up two months. None of them happened the way I thought they should happen but they all got done. When I focus on the end result I am grateful.

I will move my body and shake out the frustration from how hard things felt today and move into gratitude.

Grateful things eventually got done today, grateful the wish list things are being purchased, and grateful not everyday is this hard.

It has been a quiet day at home. It is much too hot to go outside for long. I did go to the Dollar General Store to get some copies of the Chase County Leader News. Came right back home and stayed in for the rest of the day.

I posted an update on Facebook about the Love in Action Project. I have spent some time this afternoon answering the questions and comments.

I got into a bit of trouble with the admins of the Be The Bear site as they don’t allow people to share from their site. Their rules specifically say we are not to copy and paste and many were doing that. I referred people to my personal page to get the same post so they could share but that was a bit cumbersome. I decided to create a Love in Action page where I will put the same posts. People are joining my personal page and I’m not sure I want to manage that.

Hoping tomorrow I can figure out why the Director of the Detention Center’s emails aren’t getting to me with his wish list. Not sure what is blocking them. They are not in my spam and he says he sent them. I did send him an email so he could have my correct address. People are anxious to get the wish list.

One of the workers that is coordinating the letters for the detainees is to create a wish list too. I will go up tomorrow to talk to them and see if I can get those.

I need to go to the post office and buy another 200 hundred stamps. I also need to get 100 stamps for my personal use. I will mail the papers to Max’s bank so I can hopefully be able to close out his account. I also need the post office to process the paperwork so his mail can be forwarded to me.

We found another life insurance policy Kathy has so I need to make a call Monday and try to find out what this one is and get it stopped. Hoping they will give her a refund for this one too. It is the same company that sold her the junk policy. She doesn’t have the policy paperwork for this one nor did she know she had it.

I have been a bit evasive about Kathy to protect her privacy. She has decided to be completely transparent and has put a post on her Facebook page about being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She has given me permission to talk about it openly. I admire her courage in facing this so directly. How she progresses is her story but how it impacts me is my story.

Trusting the plumber shows up the first part of the week to fix the dripping faucet at the house I have for sale in Emporia. I am not holding my breath though as they said it would be fixed two weeks ago.

I also need to get Tagen’s truck paperwork taken care of this week. His tag expires the end of the month and so he can’t drive it after that until he gets insurance and new tags.

Maybe I can finish up some pending projects this week. They seem to stack up and I get to a point where I can’t do anything until someone else does something. For some reason it seems like they all break free around the same time and then what I need to do piles up.

This has been another bit of restless day for me. I keep going back to my own mantras to remind myself that nothing in life is certain. One does the best they can until they know better and than one does better. Patience is not one of my virtues and I am reminded daily of that. I am doing better at pausing before I take action and waiting until it feels like I have a green light from the Universe to proceed. Then I also have to contend with the Universe’s timeline that doesn’t always meet my preferred time line. Sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting. Creating a restlessness that I feel strongly. Some days it is easier to sit with it all than others.

Grateful for the interest and support of the Detainee project, grateful things eventually get resolved, and grateful for a fresh start tomorrow.

Sophia had a tummy issue last night. With the rain and storm she had to stay inside and it made for a long night. She is feeling a bit better this evening. Trusting tonight she can sleep all night and then maybe I can too.

I cleaned my desk off this morning and got a few more thank you notes written. I pile papers on my desk and forget about them so try to remember to go through them weekly and take care of things.

Someone I know casually came over this afternoon along with her husband. She is a US citizen as is the rest of the family although her husband has a green card. They are sitting in fear. Not knowing what may happen with her husband. There is lots of news of green cards being revoked.

I wanted to hear their story and see if there was anything I could do to help. We didn’t come up with anything that I can take to the larger community. But, they were very appreciative of being able to tell their story and know that others care.

They both commented how much the people that are going to the protest means to them. It makes them feel like they aren’t alone.

The world doesn’t feel fair in so many different ways right now. He did all the right things when he came to the US but now may lose everything. It makes me want to use my voice even more.

Someone had donated something’s directly to the Detention Center that they couldn’t accept. I picked them up yesterday and passed them along today to the Food Bank in Cottonwood Falls. They have a table where they put things people donate that are not food related. They seemed happy to get them. I had ordered some trash bags that were the wrong size and they took those too.

This evening Kathy and I went to a dear friend’s house for dinner. They had invited another couple over too. What a delightful dinner it was. The food was delicious, the company delightful. I need to remember to make something like this happen more often.

No plans for tomorrow. There is always housecleaning that could be done if the mood strikes. Looks like it is going to be another hot one with temperatures well into the 90’s. Hard for me to find motivation to do anything when it is that hot outside.

Looking forward to a quiet week. I have to go to Topeka Wednesday but other than that have lots of empty space. Need to come up with a project to work on for my down time. I have a bit of paperwork things that need taken care of but none of those should take too much time.

My heart feels heavy tonight. Way too many people are living in fear in the USA. I can’t seem to wrap my head around it all. Hard for me to know what to do and what action to take. Today I needed to be a witness to the heartache that is happening. Wonder if everyone could find one family to reach out to and witness what they are experiencing. It might help change the energy of the country.

Grateful for the couple that came over today to share their story, grateful for the friends that had us over for dinner, and grateful for the basic goodness in humanity.

This has felt like a busy day but not sure it was. I did get some things done and a few phone calls made.

I called an electric company about an issue that I have been working with them to resolve since the first part of June. No movement on their end yet.

I got the sealed and stamped copy of Max’s probate form back. I put together a packet to mail to his bank so I can close those accounts out. I took it to the post office but they were having technology issues so will try again tomorrow.

I was also going to attempt to forward Max’s mail but couldn’t do that either. I will try that again tomorrow too.

The lady that was working the post office today felt so bad about the delay. She was crying! There was another lady waiting with me and we started visiting. She decided to go get gas for her car and come back. Before she left she offered to bring the postal worker an iced tea. What a wonderful random act of kindness. Made my day!

I took a Series EE savings bond Max had to the bank to cash it. Unfortunately since it also has my grandmother’s name on it I will also need a copy of her death certificate to cash the bond. I have ordered one at a cost of $35. The bond will cash out at $115. Guess it is worth it? We shall see what else I might need before I am finished.

Went by the Detention Center and was able to speak to the two people I needed to speak to. The Director saw me coming and he came out and the other lady who I didn’t know I needed to talk to was in the lobby already and joined the conversation.

I was given two boxes of things that had been donated that the Center cannot use. I have a phone call in to the lady that runs the food pantry to see if they can distribute toothbrushes and tooth paste. The box also has some ink pens and markers. If she can’t use them, I will find another place to donate them to.

I keep getting told that the detention center is going to start passing out cards to let the detainees write a note home but they haven’t done so yet. Today is to be the day. The lady that will manage that is to let me know how it goes over and what the need for cards and stamps will be. She is anticipating that the majority of the 148 detainees and other prisoners will take advantage of sending a letter home. She was almost giddy about the idea of offering it to them. She is also putting together a wish list and came up with several more ideas of things they can use. They slowly keep expanding what they are allowing me to have sent in. All future donations need to come directly from Amazon or me.

I received another $650 this week to add to the $3,100 that had already come in. That doesn’t include the value of the many stamps, cards, basketballs and soccer balls that were sent.

The Director told me he had emailed me his wish list yesterday but I haven’t gotten it yet. I sent him an email today so I know he has the right address. My email is tricky as it ends in uk.co and many people miss that and put .com Hoping to get his list soon so I can post an update to the project.

Chase County Leader News has a front page article about the project. I went to pick up a paper copy of it and both the Dollar General and Casey has the Council Grove paper but not the Chase County Paper. Curious minds want to know why?

While I was out looking for the newspaper I happened to look east and saw a low riding rainbow. Rainbows are always fun for me and I had to take a picture of it. We have too many trees on the east side of the road across from our house so rarely get to see rainbows from this house.

I received a package of post cards today for the project as well as an envelope with a check for $100 from a lady in Maryland. She heard about the project from a relative in Lawrence.

I have several more thank you notes to write from this week’s donations. Guess that is a good problem to have!

Tomorrow I will go back to the post office and attempt the two things I failed at today. In the afternoon a lady and her husband are coming by to share their story with me and hopefully give me some ideas of how the community at large can better support them and the millions of families like them.

Kathy and I are going to a friend’s house for dinner tomorrow night. That will be a treat.

No other plans until next Wednesday when I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment and an ultrasound. It will be nice to have several empty space days.

Hoping we can come up with a great idea to add to the Detention Center Project. The one I am hoping for will reach the families of those left behind or the ones that are making the impossible decision of what to do. I can’t possibly raise enough cash to touch lots of families but hoping we can come up with something that will let them know we care.

Feeling a bit less restless today although it is still running in the background. Lots of uncertainty about the future and it can overwhelm me at times. Remembering to release the anticipation and take it one day at a time. Staying present to what is my map out of overwhelm. I learned this when I walked the Camino – one step at a time. When I break things down to what is my next step, I usually can take that step.

Grateful the probate paper came today, grateful for the partnership I am developing with the Detention Center, and grateful for the support of the community near and far for the Detention Center project.

This has been a quiet day at home. I have felt restless a bit all day. Not sure what that is all about. It has been in my background for a bit and came on a bit stronger today. I’m sure there is something behind it but I will need to be patient to find out what it is trying to tell me.

I did make a couple needed phone calls today. We got a prescription thing straightened out for Kathy. The Clinic yesterday had written that she was to discontinue taking one of her scripts. It is one that Kathy finds helpful so we had to call her regular doctor and have the two doctor’s talk. Luckily they decided she can keep taking it.

I also called the Kansas Insurance Commission. They had told us to contact them if Kathy didn’t get the check the insurance company was to send her. We didn’t get it yet today so I called them. I didn’t hear back from them so trust they will call sooner or later.

Did a bit of cleaning today. Still have more to do. I don’t think one ever gets it all done.

I received an extra generous check for the Detention Center project today from a dear friend. Goodness, I didn’t expect that! People are being so very generous to support this project.

Tomorrow I am going to the Detention Center to take some more things up and to pick up the things they received that they can’t use. Hoping to get a better handle on how many cards and stamps they think they can use over the next couple of months. They are also to have the wish list ready for me to pick up.

I also need to go to Olpe and give cutting orders for the beef they are processing for me. Maybe I will time it so I can have lunch at the Chicken House.

Saturday a couple are coming over to share their story. I am searching for a way that the collective we can find ways to support them and the millions of others like them. Not sure I can raise enough cash to give to all the families and am hoping there is something we can find that will resonate with others and they can support it.

Saturday evening Kathy and I are going to a dear friend’s house for dinner. It will be fun to spend an evening with friends.

Next week I have to go to Topeka on Wednesday for my bi-annual check with my Endocrinologist PA. After the visit with her I have to go to the Heart Center for an ultrasound. Thursday I am meeting with a group to see if we can join forces and come up with ways to support a targeted group of people. Saturday the 2nd is another protest in Topeka.

Nicole made the flight reservations for our flight from KC to NY for our trip to India. I kinda put the trip out of my mind but November will be here before I know it. We got flight insurance in case we need to change plans last minute. The ways things are going, I’m not sure how safe it will be to leave the country. Maybe safer out of USA than in!

I haven’t had this much empty space for several months. It feels a bit foreign to me today. Still have some projects to finish up but all of them are waiting for someone else to do something before I can take my next step. Back into the in-between space. Some days I can step into that space gently and other days it feels heavy. Today was a heavy day.

Grateful for the donation that I received today, grateful I was able to make the two phone calls today, and grateful for empty space (even when it feels heavy).

My brother Keith stopped by with a check for the half of beef he is getting. I bought a whole steer from a local rancher and can’t use that much beef so my brother is buying half of it. I put his check and one from me in an envelope and mailed it to the rancher. It is so nice to have a local source for grass-fed beef that was raised with love. I need to go to Olpe later this week and give them cutting orders.

I got to visiting with Keith and almost forgot to go to Emporia for my haircut. I was five minutes late getting to the hairdresser. I was glad to see he didn’t have anyone waiting for him when he was done with me. I didn’t want to throw off his schedule.

After my haircut I met Jason for lunch. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids. I’m two out of three this week! Lucky me!

After lunch I stopped by the house I am selling to see if the plumber had fixed the dripping faucet. He had not. I had called them three weeks ago and requested service. They came the next week and did something to it that cost $300 but the drip is not fixed. I called them over a week ago to have them come back out and they said they would later last week.

Today they told me it will be next week before they can come out. I lost it! She started to give me excuses about why they put it off and I told her that wasn’t my problem. I hired them to do a job and they didn’t do it.

Why does it seem so hard to get things fixed correctly these days? I had spoken to the plumber while he was at the house and gave him permission to go to Plan C if needed. He said he would yet didn’t. Man! I dislike people that don’t act with integrity and don’t do what they say they will do.

I had a couple other phone calls to make today but the plumber one pissed me off and I was in no mood to make other calls. I didn’t want to dump on someone that didn’t deserve it. Maybe tomorrow I will get some made after I fully regulate myself.

I didn’t get the paperwork from Max’s probate case yet. It should be here tomorrow or Friday. I’m also waiting on a check to close out another thing I am working on. If that check doesn’t come tomorrow I will need to call and report it. Another example of a company not doing what they said they would do.

I’m still cranky this evening from the plumber issue. Having trouble shaking it off tonight. Doesn’t do any good to stay angry but having trouble releasing it. I probably have something else sitting below this that needs to be heard before I can release it.

I’m meeting with a family this weekend that is facing some tough decisions in the near future. Trying to figure out ways to support them and the millions of others that are in a similar position. I would like to find a tangible way to offer support and somehow share that with others. Many want to do something to support them but we just don’t know what is the best thing to do. I have a meeting next week with a group to help determine that too. Maybe between the two meetings a good idea will surface and I can run with it.

I slipped below neutral today and have been slowly climbing up. Not sure I have reached neutral yet though. I will put myself in time-out until I can. I am no service to myself or anyone else when I am below neutral.

Grateful the beef is being processed, grateful to spend time with Keith and Jason today, and grateful I get a new chance tomorrow to stay above neutral.

Kathy and I headed for KC at 9:10. First stop was lunch with Nicole at Chipotle. The food was delicious as always and it is always a great day when I get to see one of my kids.

After lunch we went to Kathy’s appointment at a clinic. Every one of the staff that we encountered was polite and professional. They took us right back and were very efficient. I really liked the Physician’s Assistant that we saw today. She was very easy to talk to and she listened well.

Stopped for gas afterwards and then we came home. We got home around 3:45. Both of us are wiped out and grateful to be home. There is something about driving to and from KC in the same day that wipes me out.

I have a haircut tomorrow at 12:15. I will probably stop for lunch afterwards and then stop and pick up a few groceries. I haven’t been cooking much so won’t need many.

When I got home today I realized I had put my shirt on backwards today. yikes! Good thing it is one that pulls over my head and I doubt anyone noticed it. Maybe the wrong one of us had an appointment at the clinic!

I didn’t get but one phone call made today. I need to call the plumber and find out where he is. He was to have gotten to the house I am selling last week. I also need to call about a check Kathy was to have received that hasn’t hit our mail box yet. I also need to check on a utility company matter that I haven’t heard about a resolution to an issue yet. Maybe tomorrow I will have a day where I can make some calls and get some things moving and off my pending list.

Nothing on my calendar except my haircut tomorrow for the rest of the week. I may go to an event at Pioneer Bluffs Saturday evening but only if it cools down a bit. I do not do well in the heat. I do need to go by the Detention Center Friday and pick up some donations that the Center cannot use. I will need to find another home for them.

No nibbles on the house I am selling in Emporia. My realtor had warned me that the market has come to a halt. Not sure what I will do with the property if I can’t get it sold. I really don’t want to rent it out again but may resort to that if it hasn’t sold by the first of September. Anyone know of someone that needs a short-term rental property? It is two bed, one bath with a large back yard located in Emporia.

Hoping to get the paperwork on Max’s probate this week so I can finish up that project. Only have two more things to take care of and that project will be complete. It went much easier and smoother than I feared it would. Trusting the last two things go easy too.

I heard the term “Corn Sweat” for the first time this year. I have seen three articles from three different people about it. Has anyone else heard about it? They are claiming that as the fields of corn dry out that contributes to the humidity in the air. Wonder why I have never heard the term before and how long that term has been used? Curious minds want to know.

I posted an update to the Detention Center Project and asked people not to send things that are not on the list to the center. I open myself up for attack every time I post. I just wished that people that don’t like this project would suggest a better one. I understand some of what they are saying but I really don’t like it when people criticize without suggesting a better solution. Some are very free with other projects they want me to organize too. I am finding I have to check to see if I am regulated after I read the comments and if I am not to take some time to regulate myself again. Once I am regulated again I can remind myself for every negative comment there are 10 positive ones. Guess it is human nature to let the weight of the negative ones have more than their share of space in my head.

I have been learning some valuable lessons for myself with this little project. Betting I have even more lessons for myself as this project plays out. Why is it so hard to ignore ignorance and criticism? I cannot let one person’s negativity derail this project.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful to spend time with Nicole today, and grateful for kind and compassionate staff at the clinic.

I still have my pajamas on if that gives you any indication of what type of day I have had. I think I am soul tired today. My heart feels heavy with grief over what is happening to this country. I needed to take a day and allow myself to have all the feelings. Not an easy thing to do but ever so necessary.

Got two more donations for the Detention Center in my mail today. One was pre stamped post cards and the other were cards, envelopes and stamps. Appreciated both packages.

A lady from Council Grove called me. Her church is taking on this project as a mission project. She had a few questions and at the end told me she would bring me a check in the next couple of weeks. They are taking up a special collection soon. Grateful for their support.

The tree guy stopped by to check out what I needed done. We walked around the yard and I pointed out what I had noticed. He noticed a couple more. He said he would try to be back to do the work within two weeks. Ummm…. Wonder if that is true? These guys tend to work on a different type of calendar than I have. We shall see what happens. Hopefully he will get to them before we have a storm that takes them down.

Got notice that my steer had been taken to the butcher. Beef prices are $2.50 a pound on the hoof right now. This one weighs almost 1,100 pounds. I’m grateful for the ranchers that beef prices are high. Still much cheaper to buy beef this way than at the store and this beef is grass-fed, no drugs or artificial food given to him. It will take about three weeks before it will be cut and ready to come home.

The Director of the Center called me this afternoon to let me know he had received some donations. Unfortunately some of the things that he was sent were things not on the list and he can’t accept them. I am going to meet with him Friday and he will give those things to me and I will find another home for them. I trust he doesn’t get overwhelmed with stuff not on his list and shut the whole project down. People’s intentions are good but he has to follow security guidelines. He is making an exception for the things he is allowing and can’t bend more.

Tomorrow Kathy and I will head to KC around 9:15. We are meeting Nicole for an early lunch and then are going to the Clinic for Kathy’s intake visit. Not sure how long the appointment will be. We may stop by Costco when we are done if we aren’t too tired. I don’t have anything urgent on my list so it can wait if we don’t feel like stopping. I am betting we will have more appointments over the next couple of months so can get things then.

Nothing else on my calendar for the rest of the week after tomorrow. I do need to call and schedule a haircut. I keep forgetting to do that during business hours. I will need to go to town one day this week and get some groceries. I need to get with Tagen and get the truck paperwork taken care of.

This has been a hard day emotionally and mentally. Sometimes I have to stop and allow myself to feel the hard feelings. This was a good day to do that as I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be. Better to release them than to let them sit and stew.

Grateful for the donations that continue to come in, grateful the tree guy is almost ready to cut the dead limbs down, and grateful I was able to allow my emotions space and time today.

This has been a quiet stay-at-home type of day. For some reason it has felt like a long day. I did laundry and managed to get it folded and put away. I can’t always say that.

I wrote 15 thank you notes for people that have contributed to the detention center detainee project I am working on. I wish I had addresses for all the others that have contributed but those donations came in via Venmo and I am not given their address. I still need to put my thinking cap on and figure out a way to get them all a handwritten thank you note.

I had two phone calls today. One was from an older lady that lives in Maryland. Her cousin (I think it is her cousin) had told her about the detention center project and she wanted to make a donation. She doesn’t do computer or Venmo. She called to ask a few questions and told me she is sending a check.

The other call was from a lady in KC that is in the same Facebook group I am in. She had seen my post about me not having the energy to track down the press and share what we are doing. We had a wonderful conversation. Come to find out she used to work for one of the advertising agencies that McDonald’s did business with. She also walked part of the Camino.

We decided not to pursue broadcasting this project. I’m concerned that the director of the center would get pressure to shut down what we are doing if it becomes too widely known. I know his contract is through Chase County but with the current administration vendetta against anyone that doesn’t fall into compliance I was concerned he would get too much heat.

I am hoping in the next week or so to meet with a group out of Emporia that does advocacy work with the Spanish speaking community in Emporia. I am hoping together we can come up with some needs the community has and then I can ask this lady to help get the word out about that need.

I ordered 12 soccer balls and 12 basketballs for the Detention Center. Several people had told me they were shipping the center some but so far only one soccer ball has come in. This way I know they have that immediate need met. It feels good to spend a little of the donation money that has come in. I had bought 200 stamps last week with some of the money too.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow so should have another quiet day. I have something’s to work on around here if I the mood strikes. Unfortunately it usually doesn’t so I don’t get things done. I do have a couple phone calls to make if it is a good phone day for me.

Tuesday Kathy and I are spending the day in KC. We will have lunch with Nicole and then Kathy has an appointment at the Clinic. Not sure how long her appointment will take as we aren’t sure what they are doing. Betting we have several more trips we will be taking to the Clinic.

Nothing else on my calendar for the week after Tuesday. It is so nice to have mostly a quiet week at home. I can’t remember the last week that I have had more than two stay-at-home days.

Feeling a bit empty tonight. Not sure why. Things have been happening so fast the last three months that I have gotten scattered. It feels like I need to take some quiet time and pull all of me back in somehow.

Grateful the thank you notes got written today, grateful even more for the donations all have generously provided, and grateful for quiet space.

Got up and got going this morning so I could leave for Topeka by 8:10. I had to stop and fill the car with gas and then I went to my friend’s house and picked her and her husband up.

We drove through a brief downpour on the way to Topeka. The cloud cover kept us out of the heat for the time while we were in Topeka.

There was not a very big crowd at the rally in Topeka at the state capitol building today. I saw an estimate of 250 people – I had guessed higher but I am never a good counter of people.

I took my sign that said “I stand in love with all Free Hug”. I got about 8 hugs today! Each time I told the person we have to stop with the hate and step into love. Everyone agreed and had a smile when they left. I truly believe that is how we start to change the world.

We gathered around the south steps for a bit. A couple of different people spoke and led some chants and then another lady led some songs. We all then stood on the steps for pictures.

The crowd then dispersed to line 10th street for a bit. Group by group they peeled off and did a march. When it was our turn to peel off we walked to my car and left.

Most of the chants were positive today although they did do some that I couldn’t say with them. Exchanging hate filled messages does not do anything but add hate to the world. We have got to exchange hate for love and stop the name calling and negativity.

When I got to Cottonwood Falls and was turning onto Union St there was a lone protester. I stopped and talked to him and found out he is the son of a friend. We talked about the detention center and had a good conversation. Kudos to him for standing alone on a hot summer day to protest. He didn’t know about the rally in Topeka today.

After I dropped my friends off at their home I stopped for lunch and came home. I was hot and tired so laid down and took a nap. Got a phone call that woke me up. It was my Aunt Marylyn and it is always a good thing when she calls and we get to visit.

A reporter from the Emporia Gazette called and we talked about the Detention Center Project. Not sure how she is going to turn that into a story but I guess I will read the Gazette for the next week or so and see if there is something in it. It was a nice conversation regardless if she does something with it or not.

Another lady that does media contact work for non-profits is calling me tomorrow. Not sure what she has in mind but it will be fun exploring options with her. I’m concerned the Detention Center will stop the card and stamp project if it gets too much publicity as they really aren’t supposed to accept things from the outside.

It got to the mid 90’s today. We are in a heat wave and it is to be in the mid to upper 90’s for the next week or more. Summer has hit hard in KS now. It is dangerously hot outside now and I will not be venturing out unless absolutely necessary. Heat and I don’t get along well.

Nothing planned for tomorrow. I do have some thank you notes I need to write. Maybe I will find the motivation to get those done. Also will need to do some laundry and housecleaning. It will be good to have a quiet day at home.

Next week is still looking fairly free. Kathy and I are going to KC Tuesday for a medical appointment Kathy has. We are having lunch with Nicole before her appointment so it will be a fun day. Not sure how long the appointment will take. We may stop at Costco afterwards if we aren’t too tired.

It is nice to have several empty-space days on my calendar. It has been a bit since that has happened. Things might come up to fill in some of them but so far they are free and clear. I always have things around the house I can do if I can find the motivation to do them.

Hoping to get the paper about Max’s probate next week so I can finally close out his bank account and put a forward on his mail. Those are the last two things that need to be taken care of that I am aware of.

Kathy has a couple of pending things that I hope get resolved this next week too. Waiting on others to do something so we can do what we need to do to finish up some pending items. Maybe next week will be a week where I can clean several things up.

It felt good to be at a protest today but am wondering if they are doing any good. Our elected officials continue to vote the way they do and ignore many of their constituents. The crowd size was very small today and not sure why. Maybe people are giving up on protests? The next one is August 2. I may organize one for Cottonwood Falls that day so I don’t have to drive to Topeka.

Feeling a bit frustrated this evening and I keep reminding myself that the universe operates on a different time table than I do. Good things are happening and change is coming. It is taking longer than I want!

Three more people donated funds to the Detention Center project today. I hope I can find more ways to let people contribute in a positive way to those being most affected by the change in our immigration rules and laws. I know these changes are disrupting many lives and causing much pain and stress. My challenge is finding those that need help. I am so privileged and have not been personally impacted.

Grateful for the right to protest, grateful to my friends that went with me, and grateful for the lone protester in CWF this afternoon.

This day started off with a phone call at 7:15 this morning. It was a lady from probate court in MA needing my attention to a form I had submitted. I had made an error on it and needed to electronically submit a corrected page.

It always takes me a hot minute or two or three to figure out how to send a file. I had to go to the probate court page of MA and find the form and then download it. Had trouble finding it to attach to an email.

I sent it and then the lady called again with another thing she needed changed. Rinse and repeat four more times and we finally got it all fixed.

They entered Max’s probate into their docket and closed out his case. His probate is complete. They are to mail me something that says that. Then I can get his bank account cleaned out and his mail forwarded. Other than today, that was easy!

It feels so good to have probate done. It was easy and would have been even easier if I was more competent on file sharing.

My cousin came to drop off some pictures and memorabilia my Aunt had of our family. It was good to visit with him for a hot minute.

Kathy needed a form sent to the VA but I couldn’t find the form on-line. I wrote a letter and attached documentation that hopefully will suffice. She signed that letter and we got it in the mail.

A lady came by with a donation for the Detention Center project. We had a nice conversation and discovered we share a mutual friend.

I took a bunch of post cards, a soccer ball, stamps, cards and envelopes up to the Detention Center. I got to meet the Director face-to-face as well as a Lieutenant. We had a very pleasant conversation. They are putting together an Amazon wish list of things they think will help the detainees improve their quality of life while at the Center. They needed a few more cards and stamps so I left and went to the post office and bought 200 more stamps and went home and got more cards and envelopes and took them up to the Center.

The Center is going to offer cards to the detainees and will let me know how many take advantage of them. That will tell me how many more stamps and cards we might use over the next month or so.

I got two packages in the mail again today. Both had stamped post cards. It feels like Christmas around here!

I got the update note written for the Facebook group that helped raise the funds for the Detention Center project. I am happy to report we have raised $3,101.12 so far plus about 15 different donations of cards, envelopes, stamps, soccer ball, etc. The value of those things is not included in the total I reported. WOW! And there is more coming in daily. It is heart warming to witness love in action. People do care and need a way to express their love and support.

Not sure how long this project will run. I will see how big the Amazon list is and find out how many stamps and cards were used. Both of those will give me an indication of how long this will go on. If not many use the cards and stamps, I will be able to wrap this up rather quickly. However, if there is a big demand for cards and stamps I will continue to hold this open and attempt to meet the demand and need.

Today has felt busy. I have been responding to the comments on the update and that takes time. I just don’t get some people! Easy to complain but they tend not to be the ones to offer solutions. Many very positive comments to outweigh the negative ones though.

Tomorrow two friends and I are going to Topeka to the protest. Trusting there will be a huge crowd. It may be another hot one so doubt that we last the full two hours. I don’t do well in heat. We will leave a bit early so we can find a bathroom and get drinks before we go to the protest. Usually Saturday parking isn’t too much of a problem.

So far the only thing I have going on next week is a trip to KC. Kathy and I are going to have lunch with Nicole and then Kathy has a clinic appointment. I do need to go to Olpe one day next week and give them cutting orders for the beef.

I’m ready for some quiet, empty space time. Today has felt very busy with paperwork and my attention on this little project I started. Grateful I had some empty space time to fill with this need. Now I need some empty space to refill me.

Sitting in wonder and amazement at the incredible response to my request. People really do want to be part of the solution but it doesn’t feel like we are given many opportunities to do so. Next week I hope to meet with a group from Emporia and come up with more ideas of ways we all can support those being severely impacted by the changing landscape of our government.

Feeling a bit like I need to hide for a bit. This fundraiser has made me very public and that isn’t my comfort place. I have to talk myself back into love when someone posts a negative comment. But, I think the world is calling all of us out of our comfort zone and asking us to step up and do things to help change the current winds. In the grand scheme of things, what I am doing is easy and low risk.

Grateful Max’s probate is complete, grateful for the response to the fundraiser for the Detention Center, and grateful next week looks quiet.

Kathy and I picked up a friend and headed to Emporia to the John Lewis Good Trouble Protest on Commercial St. We joined maybe 25 others and stood at the intersection of 6th and Commercial with our political T-shirts and signs. With the rain that came through last night, it was much cooler today than it has been and it was a beautiful morning to stand outside.

I met several wonderful people today. One of them is in the Be The Bear Facebook group that I am in. When one makes connections, the world feels smaller and less scary. One person read my sign and gave me a hug!

We had way more thumbs up and honks of support than we did middle fingers. I would say the ratio was 9 honks for 1 middle finger or stink eye. That is a supportive ratio for red Emporia.

Kathy had a call from the VA this morning and needed to find a form so she walked down to the VA office. The lady told Kathy the form wasn’t needed but that isn’t what the guy on the phone said. I walked back down with Kathy and we talked to the lady again. This time she said to call the guy back and have him email Kathy the form she needs as the lady in Emporia doesn’t have it. Ummm…….

Kathy got a bit dizzy and lightheaded so we went to Commercial Street Diner and had breakfast so Kathy could sit down for a bit. Breakfast was delicious as usual. We went back out for a few minutes and then came home. We stayed until about 11:30 or so.

I think there were more protesters from Cottonwood Falls than there were from Emporia today. Several of our friends and neighbors were there. The two ladies I spoke to were from out of town too.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night so came home and took a short chair nap. It knocked my rough edge off and am hoping I can sleep tonight. I had trouble falling asleep and when I finally did the storm woke me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep. We got about an inch of rain. I texted with Nicole this morning and they had gotten 6.5 inches.

I got two packages today. One was a package of 50 stamped postcards and the other had a soccer ball and some note paper. It is like Christmas here with donations coming in for the Detention Center. I will take those, as well as the other ones people have given me this week, up to the Center tomorrow. I am anxious to find out how many cards and stamps were used this week. That will give me a hint as to how many we will use over the coming weeks.

I need to do a status update on the site I listed the fundraiser tomorrow. I don’t have answers to a few of the questions I was waiting for but will give them what information I do have. Trying to figure out how to send thank you notes to the people that donated. I have names for most but not many addresses. May have to use Facebook Messenger although I would prefer a handwritten note in the mail.

Tomorrow another lady is dropping off a donation and my cousin is coming with a photo album that contains pictures of my extended family. I will take things up to the Center and hope that I get to talk to the Director and get his wish list.

The steer a local rancher has raised is going to the butcher tomorrow. That means my freezer will be stocked with fresh grass fed beef in about three weeks or so. I need to get down to Olpe next week and give them cutting instructions.

Saturday I am taking two friends to Topeka to the state capitol for the late morning protest. Not sure if Kathy will go or not. We will see Saturday how she is feeling.

Next week doesn’t have much on my calendar. Kathy and I are going to KC Tuesday for an appointment Kathy has at a clinic. Other than that, the week is full of empty space. I am ready for a quiet week at home.

Not sure how much good the protest today did. It felt different than the other ones I have been to. Although I think we got more positive reaction today than last time I protested which was back in April. I was a bit disappointed in how few protesters there were but it is a work day. Most of the protesters were white and older. We had more men than I have seen before and we had a few younger women and men.

I was pleased that most of the signs today were positive and enforced Love One Another. We have got to change the energy around us to one of love and get out of the name calling and hate that has been going on for way too long.

It does feel good to do something to support a change in the way things are being handled in this country right now. Something is better than nothing. Both women I talked to today agreed that we need to come up with positive actions that we and others can take. This problem feels so big that we are stuck in not knowing what to do next. I trust the little group that met earlier this week can come up with something that others will join in and support.

Still sitting with the question of what do I want my life to look like in ten years. Not sure I have come up with an answer to that yet. I have never been a good long-term goal setter. I can set goals for projects and make them happen but long-term doesn’t compute with me. Part of the problem is I have trained myself to keep coming back to the present moment and not get ahead of myself as anticipation can lead me to dark places. I need to continue to sit with this and find a way to think outside of myself and envision the next ten years. How do I know what to ask the Universe for if I don’t know what I want?

Something has shifted inside me again. I have a stronger conviction that although the next couple of months are going to be hard for many, better times are coming. I have a stronger inner vision of what the world might be like next year and a stronger conviction that positive change is coming. Sometimes I get an inner knowing that I don’t know where it comes from but usually is correct. I need to keep returning to that vision and hold it for myself and the world.

I also know I need to do my part to lessen the pain and hurt that others will and are feeling right now. I sometimes get inner guidance on things I can do to help others. I need lots of quiet time and silence so I can turn off the outer chaos and hear the guidance. I am learning how to not discount the guidance because it will only help a few people. Doing something for one person makes a huge difference to that person. If everyone reached out and helped one person, we could change the world together.

Grateful for the privilege of being able to protest, grateful for the people I met today, and grateful for the wonderful people that are sending donations for the Detention Center project.

This day started with good news when I got the mail. Some time ago we discovered Kathy had a life insurance policy. It had been sold to her as a Veteran’s benefit and turned out to be a junk policy. When I discovered it, I read the policy and it didn’t seem like a good deal to me. I took it over to a dear friend, John Queen who used to sell insurance. He looked it over and agreed with my assessment that it was a junk policy.

We were going to just walk away from it but John suggested we send the insurance company a letter and also send a letter to the Kansas Insurance Commission explaining Kathy’s situation and request a full refund of the premiums Kathy has paid in. I wrote the letters several weeks ago and kinda forgot about them.

Today Kathy got notified that the insurance company is refunding in full the premiums Kathy paid in. Wow! Thanks John Queen. Sometimes you win one and this is a nice one to win. The insurance company that sold the policy sold it under false pretense to start with and it was a policy that Kathy was going to pay in more than it would ever pay out.

I went to town early afternoon. I had several errands to take care of. I needed a blood draw in preparation for a doctor’s visit I have in two weeks. My TSH level came back at 2.0 which is almost perfect. The other results will take time to come back.

I stopped at a place and picked up two donations of notecards and post cards for the Detention Center project. Went by CVS and picked up a prescription for Kathy.

Went through the car wash and then stopped and got some groceries. Had lunch and then came home.

I think today has been the hottest day of the year. It was ugly hot today. I was glad to get home and stay home for the rest of the day.

This afternoon I baked some No Bake Chocolate cookies and took some over to John to thank him for his help getting Kathy’s refund. I would never have thought to ask for a refund or to include the Kansas Insurance Commission in the process.

Tomorrow I am going to the protest downtown Emporia. Not sure I will make it the full two hours if it is as hot tomorrow as it was today. I will definitely stand on the east side of the street in the shade. A friend and Kathy plan on going with me.

Friday two different people are coming by to drop off things. One is my cousin that has an album his mother put together of pictures of my family. The other is a lady that has a donation for the Detention Center. Saturday Kathy and I and two of our dear friends are going to Topeka for the protest. Again, I’m not sure we will make it all two hours. We shall see how hot it is.

Kathy is going to KC next Tuesday for a long awaited appointment at a Clinic. I will drive her and we will make a day in the city of it.

I put an update on my post about needing cards and stamps for the Detention Center project. I asked that people stop sending funds and supplies for a bit. I am working with some other people to find another project that others can help us with. I have more funds than I expected to receive and will need to get creative to use them all. People surprised me with their generous response. It did my heart good to see how many shining lights there are out there.

Today felt like a winning day. Kathy finally got the appointment she has been waiting several weeks for and got the notice about the refund of her insurance premiums. We both needed a turn of events around here and both were welcomed and feel a bit like a miracle happened.

Both of us have been struggling a bit lately. Life has hit us hard the last two months and it is nice to have some good things happen. Maybe the tide has turned and more good things are on their way.

Today reminds me of the value of asking for help. Had I not asked John for help I would never have known to ask for a refund of the premiums that had been paid in. Had I not asked for support for the Detention Center Project, I would not have funds sitting in an account to support that project. I have a wonderful support system around me and I need to remember to use it more often.

I strongly believe we have to build new systems for the future. The new systems will be built from the ground up and will be person-to-person helping each other out. Today is a reminder of how that might work. There is a different feel to the energy of this type of system. I was able to tap into that energy today and let it register in my body so I have a reference point for the future.

Grateful for John Queen and his expert advice, grateful for the appointment at the Clinic for Kathy, and grateful for the gentle life lessons I received today.

This has felt like a busy day. A friend picked me up at 8:30 and we headed to Council Grove for a meeting. Four of us discussed next steps for a Facebook group one of the four has started. It was a good discussion and I got to make a new friend. As I was leaving a gal that went to the same high school I did came in and I got to visit with her for a hot minute. She is a couple years younger than I am but I graduated with her brother.

I got two phone calls while I was in Council Grove. One was from the Director of the Detention Center. He has softened some more and came up with some additional items that he will accept for the Detention Center. The other call was from someone that wanted to send a donation.

Got home and had four more phone calls. Jason and Nicole both called as well as my friend from CA that I met on the Camino. Another lady called with questions about making another donation to the Center.

A friend stopped and dropped off 50 international stamps for the Detention Center project. Tonight at dinner another friend gave me some more cash to add to the other cash that has come in. I have the best friends!

I was tired and had tried to take a nap in my chair but gave up after the second phone call. Taking to people I love was more fun than napping.

Kathy and I went to a birthday party dinner this evening. It was a relaxing gathering and dinner. The 96 year-old birthday gal seemed to have a great time with friends and family gathered to celebrate her.

I’m tired tonight. I had trouble falling asleep last night and was up a couple of times in between sleeps. Trusting I will sleep lots tonight.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for a blood draw and to pick up some donations for the Detention Center. On the way home I will stop and drop off the donations I received today as well as the ones I pick up tomorrow. Not sure what time I will go to town. The blood draw needs to be done 4 – 5 hours after I take my medication in the morning so it will depend on what time I get up and going.

Thursday I am going with some friends to the John Lewis Good Trouble Protest in downtown Emporia from 10:00 – noon. I made a new sign today which says “I stand in love with all. Free hug!”

Friday two people are coming by to drop some things off. One is a photo album that my aunt made of my family. Her son is dropping it off. The other person is coming by with a donation for the Detention Center project.

Saturday I am going to Topeka for the rally at the State Capitol building. It is being held from 10:00 – noon to try to avoid the heat.

So far next week looks much less busy but I had thought this week was going to be quiet too. I’m ready for a couple of empty space days back to back to back.

I need to do an update of the fundraising project on the site I posted the request. I am struggling a bit with what to write. I am going to wait until Friday to post it as I think most of the donations will have come in by then. I have more than enough money for cards and stamps and will need to pivot a bit. Hoping the Center will get their list to me by Friday so I can include that information in my update. Not sure what the reaction will be to using the funds for other things. It seems there is always one or two or more that will not be pleased. I need to step out of fear and into love and make it happen.

Feeling a bit drained tonight. I’m grateful that tomorrow is a quieter day. I will need to fill up so I am ready for Thursday and Saturday. I struggle to people these days.

This little project I started has consumed my time and energy this week. I am thinking that will slow down after this week. However, the group today talked about our next project this morning. Waiting on a bit more information before we can proceed. We all need to find ways to take action of some sort, even if it is baby steps. If everyone did something, we could move the needle and move the country into love in action.

Grateful for friends and their compassion and support, grateful the director of the detention center is opening up to more ways we can support the detainees, and grateful for the 96 year old birthday girl.

This has been a restless day for me. I was surprised I slept at all last night after sleeping all of yesterday afternoon. I slept most of the night and even took a short nap this afternoon.

I took the two donations that had been dropped off at my house of cards and stamps to the Detention Center. Unfortunately the director was at a meeting off site. I delivered them to the person in charge of the detention unit today. She is going to have the director call me tomorrow when he is back in the facility. The lady I spoke with today knew about the fundraiser I am doing and was most appreciative of what I dropped by today.

Other than that I have had a stay-at-home day. It has been hard for me to settle down and do anything today. One of those days.

I did call the plumber and ask to be put on their schedule again. They said it would be a couple days before they could get over there again. I have to wonder why they didn’t fix it the first time but I guess that is above my pay grade – oh wait, I am paying for this!

I read that Andrea Gibson made her transition today. She is a poet that I loved listening to. She was only 49 and died of ovarian cancer. Gone much too soon but what a beautiful contribution she made to the world while she was here. Her poetry spoke to me in a deep way. She was not afraid to love and celebrated all the small, beautiful things in this life. She was a bright light that shone in all the darkness around us these days.

Tomorrow I am going to a breakfast in Council Grove. It will be fun to spend some time with like-minded women. In the early evening I have a birthday party to go to which will also be fun.

Wednesday I have to go to Emporia for a blood draw and to pick up some cards and stamps from two people. Thursday I am going back to Emporia for the protest. Also going to another protest on Saturday.

I have been thinking about what to put on the sign I will carry – I think I will put “I stand in love for all”. It is hard for me to be in the energy of hate and throw labels and names back and forth. We have to do better!

One of the people in the group that I posted about the fundraiser I am doing for the detainees in the detention center wrote: “Wow! I’m really struggling here – making life in a concentration camp a bit more comfortable somehow makes being placed in a concentration camp OK? Are you also OK if they get shipped to a country who will torture and kill them – maybe some comfy socks would help.” Oh my!

When people are living in a place of hate and fear they can say things that add to that energy. I keep reminding myself that how people respond says more about them than it does about me. It is hard to remember that sometimes.

My response back was “I hear you and I trust we are all doing what we can to change the bigger issues. This fundraiser is a drop in the ocean to touch the lives of a very few that are having their lives turned upside down. I am open to ideas on other things to do.” So far, no response.

I get it. This issue is so complex and the solutions are hard to find. However, if one can rise above the fear and hate and overwhelm solutions can and do present themselves. Love will win over hate!

Staying in love can feel lonely and harder than caving into the fear and hate. It is a different approach for many so it feels differently and not familiar. “We have tried hate and war; now let love have its turn to whisper”. I can’t remember who said that but I lean into that daily.

Sitting with my dis-ease tonight. Sometimes I have to stop and allow myself to have all the feels. So much pain, so much chaos, so much anger, so much hate, so much division. It doesn’t have to be this way. Hard to rise above it all and stay in love energy.

Grateful for the life and works of Andrea Gibson, grateful for the incredible outpouring of support and love that is coming in for the fundraiser, and grateful love will win.

This has been a crash and burn day for me. I slept for two hours last night and then was up for three hours. Went back to bed and slept three more hours.

Got up this morning and decided to drive into Emporia to check out the faucet on the bathtub at the house I have listed on the market. I had gotten the bill from the plumber and wanted to see if the problem had gotten fixed.

It has not. The plumber that came to the house told me he had to replace the valve and that didn’t work so he had to replace the faucet set. He said if that didn’t work then he had to replace a different valve and I gave him permission to do that.

He did not. I will have to call Monday and have them come over again and this time hopefully get it right. I don’t understand where the valves are and what they are talking about. I just want the faucet to not drip and struggle with the fact that it is not fixed and they billed me.

Came home and fell asleep in my chair and slept most of the afternoon. I finally feel rested. It has been a hot minute since I have felt rested.

I got on Facebook and read all the comments from the post I put in a group about raising funds for the detainees held at the Chase County Detention Center. Most of the comments are wonderfully supportive and appreciative. There are always a few that take the other approach. I am doing my best to stay in love while I respond to them and explain how I got to where we are at. I so appreciate my friends that have chimed in supporting me. Man, some people need to take a breath before they write and calm themselves down a notch or two or three.

The only thing on my agenda for tomorrow is to attempt to schedule a face-to face meeting with the director of the Center. I need to prepare him for the incredible response my post is bringing him and to let him know he may soon be overrun with soccer balls and basketballs. I have way more money than I need to purchase stamps and card stock so want to have a deeper conversation with him to see what else we can do with the funds. It is a good thing to have this type of problem!

I guess I also need to call the plumber and get them scheduled to come yet again and this time fix the problem. How many trips does it take to stop a drip in a faucet? Maybe it is more complicated than I know.

Tuesday I am going to a coffee in Council Grove and then late afternoon Tuesday I have a birthday party to go to. Wednesday I am picking up some donations from downtown Emporia and having a blood draw. Thursday I am going to the protest in downtown Emporia. Friday the beef I am getting will be taken to the butcher. I will need to make a trip to Olpe to give them cutting instructions soon. Saturday I will go to another protest. It is going to be another busy week for me.

Marianne Williamson did a video today that I needed to hear. She reminded me that first I need to sit with my feelings of heartbreak about what is happening in the USA Today. Then i need to look inside and find ways that I have added to the problem and have not been acting in a state of love to all. She also reminded me that hate and fear got us in this mess and love is the only way out. We can’t continue doing what we have been doing and expect different results. She also reminded me that acts of love and service will appear when one is ready to hear them. I need this reminder today!

This little detention center project I am working on is reminding me of the goodness of my friends and neighbors around the state and even beyond. So many of us want to do the right thing and sometimes knowing what that is can be hard to know. Many of us are action based people and finding positive action to take seems to be hard to find. I am beyond grateful of the ways people are stepping up to support this little project. It feels a bit like a miracle to me.

I would love to find a group that understands this and is working towards that goal daily. It is easier to do when one has like-minded people doing it with them. Change of this nature takes time and lots of humility. Miracles can and do happen and I strongly believe this is how we will get out of this awful mess we are in.

Looking forward to the conversation with the Director of the Center this week. I want to see his face when I tell him how much we have raised with more funds coming in. People are also taking things directly to the center and mailing the Center things. Love in Action can send a powerful message.

Grateful for messages that show up when I need them the most, grateful for friends and their support, and grateful for opportunities to protest this week.

I drove to Ottawa, KS late morning to go to a Celebration of Life lunch. The weather was amazing for the middle of July. The event was held in a park under a shelter. The family brought fans and they kept up nice and cool. There was plenty of food and lots of folks visiting.

I was lucky and there was a dear friend there that I could visit with. I didn’t know many other people there so was grateful this friend was there. We had a lovely time catching up with each other.

I managed to get rid of most of the cookies I took. Before I left I bagged up several bags of them and gave them away. Now I won’t be tempted to eat so many.

Have spent some time this afternoon going through the post on Facebook and answering questions and comments. It is interesting to read other peoples reaction and their point of view. Amazing how others take things so differently.

While I was gone today a friend dropped by a financial contribution to add to the growing Venmo balance and another couple came over with some cards and stamps. I so appreciated their contributions and support. I have yet other donations to pick up next time I am in Emporia.

Monday I want to schedule a face-to-face with the director of the detention center. I need to prepare him for the response to my post and brainstorm a bit to see if there are more ways we can support the detainees.

Monday I am also going to attempt to contact the immigration attorney I met when I protested at the center back in April. I want to see if he has ideas of ways we can best support the detainees.

I need to find a few people that will help me form an advisory council of sorts for this project. I don’t want all the responsibility of this on my own. The funds are starting to add up and it needs several heads working together to best use this new resource to its maximum potential. I said I needed a project – guess what, I found one! This one is going to take some time to successfully implement and manage.

Tomorrow is a stay-at-home day for me. I have some things I need to work on for this detention center project. I need to figure out a way to thank the people that have sent donations and am not sure how to find their information to do so. I also need some quiet time to think of other ways to put these funds to good use.

This little idea is taking on a life of its own. I have far surpassed what I thought might happen. Grateful others are willing to get involved and help make the plight of the detainees a bit easier. Trusting that we can come up with more ideas of things we can do to help them out.

And yet the bigger issue of the day remains. How does one wrap one’s head around it all and still have the energy to act in love? Guess the old adage of how do you eat an elephant applies – one bite at a time. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Sitting with a grateful heart from the response that has already come in. Also feeling the weight of the responsibility that comes with it. Seeing so many parallels in this project that is stirring up the bigger issues confronting all of us. How do we handle conflict? How does one stay above neutral and strive for radical love? So many people are carrying so much pain and anger and don’t know what to do with it. How can we do a better job of listening and caring for each other?

Grateful for the generosity that is being shown, grateful for friends and family that attended the Celebration of Life today, and grateful I don’t have to have the answers to life’s bigger problems.

Got up and got going and took Sophia to the Vet to get her stitches out this morning. When we got to the Vet I always check the lobby before I go in so I know what kind of trouble Sophia might get into. I saw what looked like a dog the size of a miniature pony.

When we went in I was surprised to see it was a miniature pony! For once, Sophia wasn’t the tallest animal in the clinic.

The tech took Sophia to the back and took out her stitches. No one said anything to me afterwards so assumed everything healed nicely.

We came home and I unloaded Sophia and then went to the Grand for lunch. On the way home I stopped by the Sheriff’s office to ask for the name and number of the person in charge of the detention center.

Came home and gathered my courage and called the person. At first I didn’t think I was going to get very far with him. He was a bit defensive and assured me the detainees had everything they needed. I ask about several options including commissary funds, visitation expenses, personal hygiene products, socks, etc. Chase County is a turnaround facility and the detainees are there for a short time. Some only spend 48 hours there and most are gone within two weeks. There are a few exceptions, however. He discouraged me from any of my ideas due to the short nature of their stays and how difficult it is to track them after they leave.

We ended the conversation getting nowhere but he said he would talk to someone else and see if they could come up with something. To my surprise and gratitude he called me back about an hour later and had two suggestions for me. He said he thought the detainees would appreciate having card stock and stamps so they could send notes to people at home. He also said due to the increase in population the yard they use for exercise could use some more soccer balls and basketballs.

I put a post on a site I follow on Facebook that has over 36,000 people that share my political views and I also put it on my own personal Facebook page. The response has been overwhelming in a wonderful way. I didn’t set a goal but what has already come in has far surpassed what I dreamed of. I will need to contact the guy that runs the center on Monday and tell him he needs to dig deeper as I will have more money than needed to buy cards, stamps and balls. Every time I check my Venmo balance it has gone up and up and up!

Most of the replies I am getting on the post I put on the political site are very positive. A few have expressed some strong hate and anger but the positive ones far out weigh the negative ones.

One of the ladies called me. I didn’t know her but she had been doing some work to accomplish what I am doing. She lives in fear and was too frightened to call to ask what they needed. We had a good discussion about staying in love and out of fear. Not sure she is ready to let go of her fear but maybe a seed was planted.

I trust this will send a strong message to him and others at the Center that there are lots of people who care about what is happening within the walls of the Center and to the people that are being detained. I also trust that I can build a trusting relationship with the Center and that I will be allowed to do more things to show the detainees that we care and support them.

I baked a double batch of oatmeal raisin cookies this afternoon to take to the Celebration of Life lunch tomorrow. I think they turned out OK. I didn’t burn even one batch this time!

Tomorrow I need to be in Ottawa around 11:45 so will leave here around 10:30 or so. It is going to be another hot one tomorrow so trusting the park will have some shade. Trust I won’t forget the cookies!

Sunday and Monday are empty space days so far. I will have lots of Facebook posts to respond to on Sunday since I will be gone tomorrow. I need to have some follow-up conversations on Monday about my Facebook posts that will keep me busy for a bit. I needed a project and guess I found one!

This might get interesting for me in ways I didn’t anticipate. My challenge will be to stay regulated and in the space of love and not drop into the anger and hate that some will want to pull me into. That energy is the energy that created this mess and will not help get us out of it. Grateful I have some empty space days ahead of me as I have a feeling I will need them to recharge and respond.

Sitting in love tonight and overwhelmed with remembering how people want a different reality. I am also reminded I need to use my gifts to help bring that new reality into present time.

Grateful for the beautiful response I am getting to my post, grateful Sophia is healing nicely, and grateful for all the beautiful humans in this world that are willing to bring more love into this world.

I finally feel asleep this morning around 5:30. Woke up at 6:30 and got up as my alarm was set for 7:00. Makes for a long night when sleep is hard to find.

The floor installer was here at 7:40. He had a crew of six people. They swarmed the house and took it over. The bedroom stuff that we hadn’t removed went out on the front porch and filled the rest of the dining room and living room.

They brought their own music that was loud. Kathy and I hung out outside part of the time. The crew was polite and friendly but the chaos was a bit unnerving. I am still amazed they were able to come with one days notice.

The crew finished about 10:45. They did a great job and almost put things back where they belonged. Kathy and I spent some time this afternoon putting our rooms back together again. I still have a bit more work to do to get my room back to its new normal.

I drove my car up to the gas station so they could change the oil. I walked back to the house and then around 11:00 I walked back down and picked it up. It was good to get that taken care of and have a clean car again.

I took a two hour nap after I got back from picking up my car. I had trouble finding sleep but finally feel asleep. It knocked the rough edge off but am still feeling tired and out of sorts.

Discovered I am missing six months of my blog from several years ago. I will check one more time and then will have to print it out. Feels strange that I missed printing it but anything is possible. I lost several years of my blog when the web press company I used did an upgrade. I learned to print them out and save a hard copy just in case.

All the chaos in the house this morning reminded me how grateful I am that the house is usually quiet and peaceful. I got anxious this morning with all the chaos. Funny what you get used to and really notice when it isn’t there. This house is small and I don’t have much company here as it isn’t easy to entertain in this house. Sometimes I miss that but sure enjoy the peace and quiet the house contains..

Wondering now if I want the hassle remodeling the back porch will bring. I use the back porch as a pantry and it is in rough shape and is not winterized. The roof leaks and there are see through places in the walls. I would love to have it ripped off and a new room built. Not sure I can handle the chaos and mess though. Might have to find a different place to stay during construction if I choose to go forward with that project.

Tomorrow I have to have Sophia at the Vet at 10:30 to get her stitches out. The incision looks like it has healed nicely. When I get home from my trip to town I will need to bake some cookies to take to the Celebration of Life lunch I am going to Saturday. I haven’t baked cookies for a long time. Trusting I remember how.

Still not reading the news. I don’t have the energy to read the same story several different places to figure out what really is happening. So much disinformation about the BBB is coming out. Guess when I need to know I will go looking.

I must say I did hear the Sec of Agriculture say yesterday that the farms are going to replace the loss of immigrant labor with those that will need to find jobs to qualify for Medicaid. We really do have two different realities happening at the same time. I am grateful for the reminder of that so I can remind myself to stay in my lane and distant myself from those that have chosen a different lane to live in.

Feeling very sleep deprived. Sleep has been very hard for me to find lately. Not sure what is going on. The full moon is tonight so maybe I will get some relief soon. If I remember I will go out tonight and stand under the light of the full moon and let it fill my soul with its light and beauty.

Grateful the flooring got installed so quickly, grateful there is no more carpet in this house, and grateful my car got taken care of today.

This has been mostly a stay-at-home day. I did have to run to Emporia this afternoon. Sure is a hot one out there today.

I text the guy that helped me with Michelle’s house floor when her basement flooded a year ago. I ask him if he would be interested in putting in new flooring in the two bedrooms.

He called me right back and told me he could do it tomorrow! Wow! I’m impressed.

Kathy and I went to Emporia to go to the flooring store to pay for the flooring I had picked out yesterday. While we were there the guy showed up and we talked a bit more about the job he is going to do. Due to the slope in the bedroom he recommended a different product than what I had picked out. We picked out another one and paid for it. He got the material loaded up and will be here in the morning to get the job done.

I find it amazing that he can do it so soon and that he showed up while we were at the store. Both feel like a sign that I was meant to do this project now.

Kathy and I have unloaded our bedrooms into the dining room and living room. The guy will have to move the heavy stuff but we got everything up off the closet floor and everything out of the room that we could easily move. We will both have to get up and get moving early tomorrow as I have a feeling the guy will be here bright and early.

This project wasn’t on my list to do this year although it was on the list for next year. One of the cats got mad and peed on the carpet in Kathy’s room. I hate the smell of cat pee and needed to get the carpet out of the bedroom. I decided to go ahead and do my room at the same time and get it over with.

I did three loads of laundry today and have it folded and put away. Still need to get my bed up from changing the sheets today.

Tomorrow I take my car to get the oil changed at 9:00. It will be good to get that taken care of too. It is overdue by a couple hundred miles. Friday Sophia goes back to the Vet one more time to get her stitches out. Friday I need to bake some cookies to take to a Celebration of Life I am going to Saturday.

My soul needed the coincidences that happened today with the flooring guy. I depend on my intuition and it is always nice to get confirmation that it is working. It helps me stay on my path knowing I am being guided. I have also found that once I see coincidences happen, more will follow. I will stay alert and look forward to seeing more soon.

The flooring project also reminds me to stay in the flow of life. When things are easy they are meant to be. Forcing things doesn’t work for me anymore. I appreciate the reminder of how easy things really can be.

Grateful for my life lesson and reminder today, grateful for air conditioning on a hot summer day, and grateful laundry is done.

Happy birthday to my oldest Jason. He turned 50 today. Yikes! That makes me old.

I went to Emporia late morning and picked up a birthday cake for Jason. I needed a couple things at the grocery store so got those while I was there. Stopped at the bank afterwards to see why I am getting statements on an account that was closed in March. I then went to the flooring store and picked out the new flooring for the bedrooms.

I picked up Ellexia at a friend’s house. She had a sleepover last night. We then went to Radius where we were going to meet Jason for lunch. Radius had a 45 minute wait for a table so we went across the street to Bobby D’s.

Jason joined us for his birthday lunch. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids and grandkids. We have a fun lunch.

Ellexia and I came back to my house after lunch. She took a nap on the couch and I rested in my chair. I never went to sleep but sure could have. I had trouble finding sleep last night.

I took Ellexia back to town at 4:30 and dropped her off at her dad’s house. I then went to Bluestem and picked up four bags of dog chow. I stopped at the rental house to see if the plumber had fixed the bathtub drip – it is better but not fixed yet. Picked up the mail and took it to Michelle’s house for Tagen.

I had an after tax season party at the lady’s house that coordinates our volunteer tax program. It was fun to see all the other volunteers and enjoy some time together. Our hostess served a delicious dessert plate.

There is road construction at Strong City so getting to the highway is a challenge. They didn’t mark a detour so kinda have to figure it out yourself. Adds a few minutes to the trip.

This turned out to be a busy day. Grateful I decided not to go to a thing tomorrow as I will need tomorrow to reset myself. I struggle when I have things to do on back to back days. I need a rest day in between events.

Tomorrow I have a couple of phone calls to make if I can make calls tomorrow. Somedays I can make them and other days I can’t. We shall see what happens tomorrow. Other than that I have a free day. Thursday I am getting the oil changed on my car and Friday I take Sophia in to get her stitches out. Saturday I have a Celebration of Life lunch to go to.

Still avoiding the news. I was able to keep myself above neutral today even with all the errands I did. I am surprised I was able to do that as I am very tired today. It does help to have down days so I can fully recharge and refill between busy days. Not sure I would have been able to stay above neutral if I had read the news today.

Feeling a bit disconnected from the world since I’m not reading the news. I struggle to find the balance between staying informed and practicing good self-care. Part of the problem is the research I have to do to feel like what I am reading is somewhat close to the truth. I have to read the same story from several sources to fully understand what is happening.

A couple I met while I was on my tour of England and Ireland have started a newsletter that works hard to find facts. One of the areas they have focused on is helping us understand why the great divide and how differently both sides few reality. There are studies that show differences in people’s brains that scientists can now predict which side of the divide you are on. This newsletter also shares ways one might be able to bridge the divide. Not an easy process but some are finding success with it. I have to keep reminding myself to honor the ways others think and process and remember it is way different than the way I do it.

Grateful for time with Jason and Ellexia today, grateful for the 50 years I have had with Jason, and grateful tomorrow is a quiet day.

This has been a quiet day at home. I didn’t make it to Emporia today. I needed a stay at home day. I was feeling like I would drop below neutral if I did what I wanted to do today. What I needed to do today needs to be done when I am above neutral.

Tomorrow I am picking Ellexia up and then we are meeting Jason for lunch to celebrate his birthday. Ellexia is going to come home with me afterwards and then I will take her back to town when I go for my 5:30 thing. It will be fun to have Ellexia for the afternoon.

Jason turns 50 tomorrow. How does that happen? I remember when he turned 40 and it helped me realize I wasn’t 40 any more. Having a son that is 50 makes me feel old! Yikes!

I did manage to call and make an appointment to get the oil in my car changed. I take it in on Thursday.

I got Max’s probate form back in the mail today. I had put myself as the petitioner and didn’t list myself as an heir. I also didn’t give them the last four digits of Max’s bank account although they hadn’t asked for that. I redid the form and mailed it back. Trusting it will past muster this time. This explains why his case wasn’t showing up on the docket for the court.

I’ve had to take another break from the news. I even have to scroll by some sites I normally stay up on in my feed on Facebook. I can’t read about the gloom and doom and fear. Throwing insults back and forth from both sides of the division keeps us stuck in the energy that created this mess. Somehow we all have to figure a way to step out of this energy and into a different space.

I still need to call the guy that is in charge of the ICE detention unit in Chase County. I am thinking about how I want that conversation to go and haven’t thought of the correct approach yet. My intuition tells me to pause until I can find the right one.

This has felt like a head game day. I keep thinking about different scenarios for the future for both the country and myself. It has been one of those days that I have held and felt both sides of the spectrum. Balance can be hard for me to find when that happens.

All I can do is stay in my lane and continue to choose what feels like to me a path of love. Today I got stuck in the who, what, why and when. That doesn’t serve me or anyone else.

Grateful for a stay at home day, grateful for my intuition and my ability to listen to it guide me, and grateful love will win and I don’t have to know how, why or when.

I went to Wichita to go to Costco this morning. I stopped at Chipotle for lunch and then headed to Costco.

I stopped at the service desk and asked them to have someone bring me four cases of bottled water. They were happy to do so. I got what I needed and then found the cart of water someone had brought up for me. I took my other stuff to the car and pulled up to the front door and they loaded the water for me. That was easy!

The drive down and back was beautiful. It did my heart good to see the wide open space and green space. Traffic was light today although Costco was crowded as usual.

Came home and carried the stuff in. I put the four cases of water on the front porch and Kathy carried them in the house. I still have three more cases to carry to the laundry room. Those things are heavy!

Haven’t done much else today. It is too hot to be outside. I don’t have much that needs done so am taking it easy this afternoon. Need to go to Emporia tomorrow to pick out flooring for Kathy’s room. I hope the installer I used for Michelle’s house is still available. I will call him tomorrow and see.

I want to go to the ICE Detention center tomorrow and find out if the clients have any needs that a group of concerned citizens could help meet. There is a group in Missouri that has formed a group that is providing things to detained non-documented clients in a detention center in Rolla. I would love to get a group here doing the same thing. Love in action feels like an appropriate response to what is happening in the world.

I also need to call and get an appointment so I can get the oil changed on my car. The car is overdue for an oil change and need to get that done this week.

I saw a quote today that said “We have our love. We have our light. And we have each other”. In the midst of all that is happening that is a good thought to hold on to. What else is there anyways?

Grateful to be restocked from Costco, grateful for the help with the cases of water at Costco today, and grateful for the beauty of the hills that restore my soul.

Last night I went out to make sure the dogs and cats were inside. The moon had a beautiful rainbow around it. I stood out and stared at it for a bit. Felt honored to get to witness it.

The booms and pops didn’t stop until almost midnight last night. I need to remember to find a quiet space to be in next year. I don’t enjoy the booms and pops.

I took Sophia to the vet’s office and they took out her drain. They had to remove two stitches and were able to pull it out fairly easily. Sophia didn’t act like it hurt or bothered her. Sophia still has to stay inside for another couple days and then we can let her go out to the pen. I think she is tired of staying inside. She has been anxious today and wanting to go on lots of walks.

I did laundry today but I don’t have it folded and put away yet. Trusting I will get to it yet today.

Other than laundry I haven’t done much. It is a low energy type of day plus I don’t have anything urgent on my to-do list. I have some things to take care of next week but nothing I can do this weekend.

I may go to Costco tomorrow if I get restless and need to do something. I’m out of a couple things and I don’t have anything else I need to do tomorrow.

Monday I want to pick out some new flooring for the bedrooms and find someone to install it. I will call the guy that laid the flooring in Michelle’s basement when it got flooded out. He did a great job and was reasonable in price. I don’t know if he comes to Cottonwood Falls but it doesn’t hurt to ask. I also need to call and get an oil change scheduled. My car is overdue for one.

A couple different volunteer opportunities have come up. Sitting with them and deciding which I want to find out more about. I need some project to work on that helps others. I’ll make some calls on Monday and see which one settles with me. The one that is the easiest to connect with and get information about will be the one I choose.

Sitting with restlessness today. It is less than yesterday so maybe it will be gone tomorrow. This doesn’t feel like in-between energy but not sure what it is. Allowing it to be what it is and listening to my inner self to see what she needs to tell me. Sometimes I never know what the energy is from or what its purpose was.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the moon bow last night, and grateful Sophia is healing well.

This has felt like a hard day to me. I was able to stay home all day but felt very restless and it was hard to settle in today. I don’t like the July 4 holiday and the sound of the booms and pops all day has rattled me. I’m betting it will really get loud at dusk and afterwards. Last night was hard during the fireworks show. I couldn’t see them but sure could hear them.

I was wondering for a bit yesterday why this felt new to me and realized last year at this time I was in Costa Rica so I missed the first July 4 in this house. I will need to remember to go somewhere quiet next year.

I took some sort of a nap this afternoon. I had trouble sleeping and even napping felt hard and restless today. Not sure why I am sitting in this energy today but it is what it is. Trusting it will do whatever it needs to do today and tomorrow will be a better day for me.

I have to have Sophia at the Vet at 10:00 tomorrow morning to get her drain out. Trusting that will go well. Sophia is restless today and wants to go outside in her pen. Hoping the Vet will give us the OK to let her do that after her drain is gone tomorrow. If not, we will have to wait until her stitches are out in another 8 – 10 days.

I thought about going to Costco today and looked up and found that they were closed today. Grateful I checked before I drove to Wichita and found it out that way. I may go tomorrow afternoon or Sunday.

I had quit taking the Celebrex the orthopedic doctor had prescribed for my knee and my knee started aching again this morning. I took a Celebrex and it quieted back down again. Still using the prescription cream he prescribed but evidently I need both to keep the knee happy and quiet. I’m going to try only one Celebrex a day instead of two and see if that will give me enough relief. I really don’t like taking medication if I absolutely don’t need it.

Days like this are hard. There is no reason I know of now that should make me so restless yet I am. I feel both hungry and full at the same time. Nauseous and yet craving food at the same time. Unsettled in many ways today. Maybe I am experiencing both ends of the spectrum at the same time today. Holding both and not finding balance. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for a quiet week ahead, grateful the booms and pops will lessen after today, and grateful tomorrow is a new day.

This has felt like another busy day. The friend that I was going to meet with this morning needed to postpone our visit so I got a bit more time at home this morning.

Went to Emporia and met a friend for lunch. It did my soul good to have a deep, personal conversation. I so admire this friend and honor her journey.

Kathy and I had a meeting with the local funeral home this afternoon to take care of an insurance matter. I think it went well and trust that what we did today will solve a problem.

Kathy and I went over to a friend’s house for a happy hour after our meeting. It is always a treat to visit with dear friends and catch up with them on their lives.

Came home and am ready to sit for a bit. Grateful I don’t have any plans for tomorrow. Saturday I have to take Sophia to the Vet to get her drain out. Trusting that will go easy. The incision looks a bit infected but hoping it is not bad. She is on antibiotics and pain pills. She seems to be recovering nicely so far.

My realtor called and said she was at the rental house taking pictures and is hoping to get the house listed either today or tomorrow. I am not holding my breath and thinking it will sale quickly. One never knows and we shall see what happens. The realtor did tell me the bathtub faucet is still dripping so the plumber must have had to order parts. Trusting he will get back over there next week and get it fixed. The drip is running up the water bill.

So far next week is looking much quieter than this week was. I’m sure something’s will come up and fill in my calendar a bit but so far I only have something to do on Tuesday and Saturday next week. I welcome some empty space time. If feels like it has been a bit since that has happened.

One day next week I want to go to Emporia and pick out new flooring for Kathy’s bedroom. Her room is the animal house room and one of the cats has soiled her carpet. It needs to be replaced. I may go ahead and do my bedroom too. I’ll see how prices are and then decide. My room can wait as animals are not allowed in my room.

I can’t say I was surprised that the Big Beautiful Bill passed today. I read some of the comments from both sides of the isle and it is certainly interesting to read how both sides are defending their positions. Truth is hard to find. It really does remind me there are two different realities happening at the same time. It was hard to remember that I was reading about the same bill.

A measure of a man is how they treat those that can do nothing for him. Not sure the big beautiful bill can measure up to that standard. I simply can’t understand why so many are so afraid of those that have a different skin color or those that were born somewhere other than the USA.

The coming days and months will be an interesting time in this world. Wonder what path most will choose – one of love and unity or one of people that are not like me need to go. I have to believe that love will win out.

Grateful to have lunch with a dear friend, grateful for happy hour, and grateful for a stay-at-home day tomorrow.

This has felt like a busy day with two trips to town. Not sure I got much done but haven’t had lots of down time.

I was awake around 6:00 this morning. I had my alarm set for 7:00 but couldn’t go back to sleep so got up around 6:30. I left for Emporia with Sophia around 7:15. I dropped her off for her surgery today and then went by the rental house.

The make it go away people had shown up and did their job. The back yard looks much better from the clean up yesterday. The house still needed a good cleaning but is close to being ready to be shown. I found a window open but couldn’t get it to close. I will have to go back and take a hammer with me so I can pound the window close.

My handyman let me know he successfully switched the washer and dryer from the rental house and took them to Jason. He then brought the set that was at Jason’s house and put them in the rental.

The plumber called and let me know he tried a simple fix for the leaking bath tub faucet and it didn’t work. He needed to go get parts and was going with Plan B. If that doesn’t work he will have to come another day with Plan C. Who knew stopping a leaking faucet required three plans.

The realtor let me know the cleaning lady was to come this afternoon and then the house will be listed tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed that there will be some interest in the house. The realtor told me she had a couple other houses listed and no one has come through them yet and they have been listed for several weeks.

My Endocrinologist office called to schedule my throat ultrasound. They were going to put it on my calendar the day before my appointment with the Endocrinologist and then decided they could do it the same day so I didn’t have to drive to Topeka two days in a row. I appreciated them accommodating my schedule.

I was trying to take a nap this morning when all this commotion and communication was happening. Made for a constantly interrupted nap.

I went back to town around 4:00 and picked Sophia up. She has a sizable wound near her back side. The Vet was happy that I had agreed to surgery as the site was showing signs of infection from the drainage attempt they did last week. Sophia has a drain that will need to come out Saturday and then the following Saturday she will get her stitches out. She is to remain in the house and is to have only short walks at least until the drain is out. We may have to keep her inside until the stitches come out depending on how she is looking Saturday. She likes to roll in the dirt and that would not be a good thing.

I had to pay $71 last week to get the cyst drained and the bill today was $435. Still two visits to go! Yikes! Like having a teenager in the house. I forgot to get Bravecto today so will try to remember to get that Saturday.

My cat is having trouble using the litter box. Kathy’s carpet is starting to smell like a litter box. Next week when I have a quiet day I need to go to Emporia and pick out some vinyl flooring and find someone to put it down so we can get rid of the carpet. I dislike carpet anyways. I might go ahead and do my bedroom too so this house can be carpet free.

Tomorrow is going to be another busy day. I am meeting a friend at 9:30 for a chat. I’m meeting a different friend for lunch at 11:30. Then Kathy and I are going to the funeral home in Cottonwood Falls to prepay our cremations at 3:30. Wonder what else I will do tomorrow?

No plans for the 4th. I don’t enjoy fireworks and I am not exactly in the mood to celebrate our democracy as it appears to be fleeting. I will stay inside and put on some quiet music and do some inner work. Saturday I have to take Sophia to the Vet to get her drain out.

So far next week looks quiet. I have a thing to go to Tuesday evening but other than I don’t have anything on my calendar. I will appreciate a quiet week. It feels like it has been a bit since I had one. Since I now know I won’t be having surgery until fall (if then) I can plan Max’s Celebration of Life Dinner.

I figured out how to look up Max’s probate case and it isn’t showing up yet on the court docket yet. Not sure if it hasn’t been processed or if there is a problem with the way I submitted it. I will give it another couple of weeks and then will call if I don’t see it. Not sure what the next step of the process is.

Still sitting with what is happening in DC. I feel more detached from it today and can zoom out and see why this is happening. I am being called to be a bridge and not become part of the division. I keep reminding myself that opinions are not truth and truth is hard to find in all of this. Stepping out of the overwhelm and fear and into trust and love. Trusting that love will win, somehow, someway, and in divine timing. This is a lesson for myself to stay out of the But how? But why? But when? Allowing light to flow and looking for good things and miracles to celebrate is where I need to stay.

Grateful Sophia did well during surgery, grateful the rental house is ready to be listed, and grateful for the everyday miracles that are happening around me.