Starry night on the prairie

Thyroid is out. Surgery went well. Got home around 3:00. Sore. A bit swollen. Recovering. Good nursing care while there. Taking it easy.

Thanks for all the prayers, healing vibes and love! All is well on the soggy prairie today!

Kathy is home. I picked her up at the airport a little after 1:30 today. Both of her flights arrived ahead of schedule today. Sophia was very excited to see her.

Nicole arrived safely in Costa Rica. Both of her flights arrived a touch early too. Must have been a good day to fly today.

Nicole and I went to one of her friend’s house for dinner last night and watched the first half of the Chief’s game. We watched the second half at Nicole’s house. I hadn’t watched a football game for several years. I remembered the Monday night announcers as being more entertaining before. The guys last night seemed to be very boring and seemed to be in favor of the other team a bit. Don’t think I have been missing much by not watching them.

I didn’t sleep much again last night. Maybe it’s a good thing I am having surgery tomorrow – I’ll get drugs that will make me sleep at last!

I have to be in Topeka by 9:00 tomorrow morning and surgery is scheduled to start around 10:00. I should be home by 4:00 at the latest and probably by 3:00. So ready to have this over with and be on the road to recovery.

After I dropped Nicole off at the airport this morning at 6:30 I went out for breakfast at Big Biscuit. I ate too much! Their serving sizes are huge! After I ate I went back to Nicole’s house and tried to go back to sleep but didn’t do so. I just chilled out until it was time to go pick up Kathy.

I can’t think of anything else I need to do today so my recovery will go easier. I have all the critter food restocked and picked up some soft foods for me.

Sure feels like it is going to rain. I could use a couple of inches to fill in the cracks in my yard. Looking forward to the more fall-like temperatures.

May go take a nap. Feeling like I might be able to sleep. As hard as it is for me to find sleep I will take it when ever it finds me.

Surgery tomorrow morning. Let my healing continue! All is well on the muggy prairie today.

Newman Hospital you disappointed me yet again. The Surgery Center had faxed them orders to do a blood test on me and had received a confirmation that the orders had been received. I went in two hours later and Newman’s denied they had received the orders!

I called the surgery center and had them send the orders to my doctor’s office lab instead. They received them and were able to draw my blood.

Newman’s need to figure out their information center and get it straightened out. So frustrating!

The nurse that called this morning went over my medical history. She will call me in the morning to tell me what time to arrive Wednesday morning. Sounds like I will only be there from four to five hours total.

I went into town and got chicken feed, dog food, Tums, and some soft foods in case I have trouble swallowing after surgery. Think I am set and ready to go.

Later this afternoon I am driving to KC. I’m going to spend the night with Nicole and take her to the airport early tomorrow morning. I’ll probably go back to her house after I drop her off and hang out there until it is time to pick Kathy up at 1:30. Any of my KC friends free tomorrow morning and want to hang out with me?

It is almost a summer day here today. Almost 90 and the wind is in a hurry. I was going to clean out the chicken coop but it is too windy for that. I got a mouth full of straw when I opened the door to pick up eggs.

Star has figured out how to get in and out of the front fenced area. Sophia still hasn’t figured it out thankfully. Sophia is much more content when Star is in the fenced yard with her. There was even one of the cats hanging out with them this afternoon.

May take a nap this afternoon if I can fall asleep. I slept a bit last night but not much. Better than I had the two previous nights but certainly not five hours straight. I am sure trusting this surgery will help me be able to sleep.

Got the guest beds made up and the trash emptied. I don’t clean much more than that until the next guests come. It is so dusty things don’t stay clean very long around here.

I’m tired and cranky this afternoon. My soul hurts hearing about yet another mass shooting. Need to ground myself well this afternoon and refill my soul with love and light. There is so much hate in the world. I need to make sure I don’t get pulled into the muck pond from the weight of it. There is also more love in the world than hate. Some days I forget that though. Going to spend the rest of the afternoon looking for love and reminding myself it always wins!

All is well!

Had a very late night last night as two of my guests didn’t get in until after midnight. All four of us sat up and visited until 1:00 this morning.

I was up at 7:30 to get breakfast ready for one of my guests. We had a lovely breakfast together and then she left around 10:00. She has volunteered to be a house sitter for me anytime I need one. She loves animals and can work on her computer anytime and not have to go to her office.

My other two guests slept in. He came up just before I had to leave at 11:00. I left breakfast on the counter for them and left to go to the family reunion. They were gone when I got home around 2:30. I have the first load of dishes washing and have two more loads after that to do. Still need to strip the beds and start laundry.

I’m really tired this afternoon as I haven’t slept much the last two nights. Really want a nap but am going to try to stay up until at least dark. I have a lot of stuff I need to do tomorrow and would love to get a good night’s sleep tonight. I will see if that happens.

Had a good time at the family reunion. Craig went with us. He likes my extended family and I think he enjoyed going. He was really tired by the time we got home though. Keith was able to come. He is looking much better.

Managed not to get into any heated political discussions with those that are on the opposite fence than I am on. We all seemed to enjoy each other’s company. I didn’t get a chance to talk to all of my cousins. Too many to get to!

I really enjoyed all three of my house guests this weekend. I feel I made three new friends. Trusting they will return and stay with me again some day.

It is a windy day on the prairie today. Mid 80’s so nice and warm for the first day of October. Need to do a critter check and make sure all is well with them. I have been so busy this weekend I feel I have neglected them all a bit. Ready for things to slow way down!

Making new friends. Reconnecting with family. All is well on the windy prairie today!

I had the most delightful evening last night. I had dinner at Ad Astra with one of my over-night guests. I then drove her out to Camp Wood so she knew where to go Saturday morning. We came home via the Lake Road. It is a beautiful time of the year in the Flint Hills to go for a drive through the hills. We stopped in Cottonwood Falls on the way home and enjoyed the jam session for over an hour that was held at Prairie Past Times.

She went to bed shortly after we got home. My other two over-night guests came to my house shortly after she went to bed and the three of us sat up and visited for an hour. It was after 11:00 before they went downstairs to bed.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. Sure trusting that tonight is the night for sleep.

The grandkids came out this morning for a couple of hours. It was good to see them. They walked Sophia and chilled out. I took them to Craig around noon as I had some where to go this afternoon. I picked up a prescription at Walgreens before I dropped them off at Craig’s house. I onlyneeded ten more thyroid pills before surgery but they would only give me the full bottle of 120. I’ll have to throw away the rest of them as I won’t need them after Wednesday.

I spent the afternoon with my friend Carla. She had an open house for her new art studio/gallery. She does the most amazing art work. I have one of her pieces in my dining room. There were over 40 people who came to see her work. I served wine and picked up dirty dishes. It was a wonderful afternoon.

Three of my friends that came to the open house and I went out to dinner after the open house. That makes three nights in a row I have eaten out. Unusual for me to eat out this much but I had delightful company both last night and tonight.

I made a potato salad this morning and fixed cowboy beans that are ready to heat up tomorrow morning. I’m going to bake a chocolate sheet cake tonight and then I will be ready for the family reunion tomorrow. I also need to get the steel-cut oats in the crock pot so breakfast tomorrow morning will be easy. Not sure how many I am feeding.

Unusually busy couple of days for me. Monday I am going to KC in the evening and then taking Nicole to the airport early Tuesday morning. Kathy gets in Tuesday afternoon at 1:30 so will probably stay in KC until she gets in. Wednesday I have surgery.

I need to check my supply of critter feed and get what I need for the next two weeks Monday as I won’t be able to drive for two weeks after Wednesday. I also can’t lift over ten pounds so won’t be able to lift it into a shopping cart after surgery. Kathy will be stuck carrying the feed containers down to the chicken coop and carrying the water for them for two weeks.

Cleaned out my egg stash again. Love when that happens!

Another busy day tomorrow with fixing breakfast for my guests and going to the reunion. I’m glad I will have Sunday evening and most of the day Monday to put the house back in order and do my last-minute shopping before surgery. Need to remember to get some soft foods in case I have trouble swallowing for a few days. Also need to get some Tums as they recommend I take them regularly for a bit to make sure my blood calcium levels don’t drop with the thyroid gone.

I have so enjoyed my guests this weekend. It is so easy to have guests when they are gone most of the day and I don’t have to cook for them.

What an absolutely beautiful day on the prairie today. Loved spending time with my friends. All is well!

Took Craig to his medical procedure in Topeka this morning. He tolerated it well. Results won’t be back for a week.

I had my appointment with my surgeon who happens to be in Topeka this afternoon. It was a two-for-one trip today. I am having my total thyroid removed next Wednesday. It is scheduled to be an out-patient procedure. He told me recovery is rather quick from the physical part of the surgery. Getting my thyroid hormone levels adjusted can take a couple of months. I will have mild limitations for two weeks such as no lifting anything over 10 pounds and no driving. But other than that I can do what ever I can tolerate.

I ask about the possibility that it was cancerous. He said he saw no evidence that would make him even consider that. He said about one in a hundred cases of thyroids that are removed for nodules turn out to have cancer in them but that wasn’t why they were removed. I also ask why the total removal instead of partial. Evidently I have nodules on both sides so a total is required. He seems competent and skilled.

So grateful I have a date for surgery and can go on from here. Trusting by the holidays this will all be behind me and I can go forth with my life.

While I was in Topeka I got a phone call and the guests I expected to come for just Saturday night now want to stay two nights and check in this afternoon. Someone local was going to bring them out so they knew how to find my house. I told them I wasn’t home but the doors were unlocked and to come on in. I can’t tell if they came or not. There is no luggage downstairs. I got home around 3:45 so made it home sooner than I thought I might.

My other guest thought she would arrive at 4:00 but she isn’t here yet either. Thanks universe for giving me some time to catch my breath before my guests arrive!

The house is cleaned. I am ready for my guests to arrive. Grateful for this day! All is well!

I slept six hours straight last night. Like normal people do! I can’t remember the last time that has happened. I think I could get used to doing that.

Went into Emporia this morning to get some dog food and groceries. I decided to fix something different to take to my family reunion Sunday so needed to get some stuff to make what I want to take. I had breakfast at the Commercial Street Diner since I was in town.

Came home and made the Pretzel treats I am taking to my friend’s open house Saturday. I love those things. I hope there are none left over as I will eat them if they are.

Have eggs and potatoes cooking for the potato salad and deviled eggs I am going to make for the reunion. I can’t get anything done tomorrow as I am going to be in Topeka all day and then have a guest coming late afternoon. I’m busy with the open house Saturday afternoon so need to cook some things ahead.

Down to the last two rooms that have to be cleaned today. My bedroom and bathroom can wait if needed as my guests don’t go in there. Trusting the urge to finish up this fall cleaning will hit me some time soon today so I can get this project done. If feels so good to have my whole house almost cleaned. It has needed detailed cleaned for a while but I hadn’t felt up to doing it until now. Now when I am recovering from surgery it won’t bother me so much.

What a beautiful fall day. Bright blue skies and the temperature is in the low 70’s. Makes me want to go outside and clean out my flower beds. I need to get the house finished cleaning first though. I love this type of fall weather. I feel the energy of days like today seeping into my bones so I can store it for the coming winter days.

I haven’t gotten my apple butter made yet. It will have to wait until next week as I won’t have time until then. I did remember to buy the apple cider I need to make it with. Still need to check to make sure I have enough jars.

I dropped a jar of sweet pickles on my foot when I was bringing the groceries into the house this morning. Luckily the jar didn’t break when I dropped it. It hit my foot where my bunion is. I elevated my foot right away and it feels a bit better now.

Anxious to hear what the surgeon has to say tomorrow. So very grateful I got in so quickly. I feel like I have put my life on hold until I can find out when surgery is going to be. I can’t make any commitments to anyone for next week and the week after that. Trusting the surgery can be scheduled for next week so I can get on with my life.

It will be fun to see my last two living aunts and all the cousins that come Sunday. This is my mother’s side of the family and everyone always seems to enjoy each other. Some of us are on opposite sides of the political and religious fences but for the most part we avoid talking politics and enjoy visiting with each other.

Beautiful day on the prairie today. I got sleep last night! Life doesn’t get much better! All is well!

To my surprise and delight the surgeon’s office called me yesterday afternoon and found an appointment time for me this Friday. His office is in Topeka and I am going to be in Topeka with Craig Friday taking Craig to a medical procedure. Now that is how referrals are supposed to work.

I went into Prairie Past Times for their art afternoon yesterday. About eight of us sat and visited and worked on individual art projects. It was a delightful way to pass a rainy afternoon. I took some knitting and started a baby blanket. I have given all the ones I had made earlier this year away. I like to have a spare one in case I need a baby gift and don’t have time to make one.

Got the dining room floor hand mopped and the tables and chairs cleaned yesterday. I have four tables and sixteen chairs so that part takes a bit of time. I hate moving all of them out of the dining room and then having to move them all back in there again. Always glad to get that room done.

My rooster, Mr. America, has tried to come after me the last two days. I have had my muck boots on and am thinking he doesn’t like me wearing them. I wacked him on his head with the stick I have in the pen this morning. He pounded his feet and glared at me afterwards but left me alone. Mr. America, I would not mess with me right now. I am not in the mood for your showboating.

Having trouble getting going today. I didn’t sleep very well and feel really tired today. As my thyroid lowers I am getting a taste of the sluggishness that brings with it. I was hoping it would bring sleep to me but not sure it will. I’ll see how this plays out over the next month or so. My blood pressure was a bit high this morning. I have been working hard the last couple of days so maybe my body is telling me to take a rest day today. My ass is sore from sliding on the floor as I have been hand scrubbing my floors. I really wanted to get the rest of the floors done today. Maybe I can dig deep and find some energy to do so.

I just remembered to call for a haircut appointment and he can cut my hair today at 12:30. Maybe that will make me feel better today. I need to get some groceries anyways so this will make me go to town to do that too. Need to take a shower and get dressed so I can go to town.

It is a cloudy cool day on the prairie today. I have over an inch of rain in my gauge. I had to dig out a sweater this morning. I haven’t been cold for a long time. I closed all the windows and thought about turning the fireplace on. I felt cold down to my bones. What a switch this is for me as the last couple of months I have been running very hot even when others were cold.

I read a quote the other day that said you see what you expect to see in life. Man is that playing out in the world today. I do tend to read something or see something and quickly decide if I agree or not and if that fits with the way I see things. When I have the patience and awareness I read opposing views to see if I can see things from a different perspective. Sometimes I can but not always.

I have been reading a lot lately about white privilege and watching how that plays out in the world. The educational site I have been reading tells me to sit with the uncomfortableness of the feelings I feel when I recognize times when I used my white privilege card in the past and now can see how that influenced how I saw the world. It is hard to sit with those feelings and not want to do something. At some point I will learn how to use those feelings to propel me towards being a socialist activist and help create change in this world. But first I have to learn to sit with these feelings and allow them to teach me what I need to learn. I can’t create change in others – I can only become the change I want to see in the world by doing my own inner work.

I struggle at times to keep my mouth shut and not point the finger at others when I see them using their own white privilege card. I keep reminding myself I still use mine too. I need to keep discovering the ways I am using my card. Hard inner work but much-needed inner work. It brings up such sorrow in my soul. Hard to sit with that.

Sun is in the forecast for the afternoon. I welcome it back. All is well on the cool and cloudy prairie today.

Good news! I got the blood draw results back and my levels are low enough that I am being referred to a surgeon. I got this information from the on-line My Chart Program. I haven’t spoken with the Endocrinologist office yet. I called the surgeon’s office to ask how this process works. They haven’t received the paperwork yet and are to call me when they do. This sounds familiar! Trusting the paperwork will show up and they will call me. I will call them again tomorrow afternoon if I haven’t heard anything. She did say I didn’t need a referral to be seen, however when I told her I was to have my thyroid removed, she said they need to see the order before they can proceed.

Trusting the communication between the two doctor’s offices will go smoother than the communication between the hospital and the Endocrinologist office went. I had been told the surgeon usually can see patients within a week of the referral. Guess I will see if that is true.

One step closer to the finish line of this part of my journey.

I got the basement completely cleaned yesterday. Only have part of the main floor to detail clean over the next couple of days and I will be ready for my guests to arrive this weekend. It will be an easy weekend for me as I only have to fix one breakfast and the guests will be gone most of the time. I do have some where to go Sunday at noon so will have to push the guests out early.

My plumber called back. He told me to run water every day for a week in the floor sink where I have been smelling sewer. If that doesn’t fix the issue than I am to call him back and he will come out. He didn’t seem worried that the lagoon was really low.

Prairie Past Times is having an art day this afternoon. You can bring any art projects you are working on and join in community with others doing the same. Think I will take some knitting and go join in the conversation. All are invited to come from 1:00 – 4:00 today.

I am making an effort to get out more and be in the world more. It is too easy to allow myself to sit at home all the time and not be with others. Not sure it serves my best interest to isolate myself so much. Striving to figure out what my balance in all this should be.

I did not eat very good yesterday. I think all I ate was sugar. I felt icky last night as a result. It has helped me once again understand I need to nourish my body better and avoid sugar. Day One being sugar-free starts today!

I need to get some groceries and didn’t want to go to Emporia today. I just remembered the grocery store in Strong City has reopened and they have meat and produce. Score one for the home team today!
This cold weather makes me want to make some veggie soup. That is about the only way I will eat veggies.

If I am going to go play this afternoon I better get some cleaning done first. So grateful I have the energy to do so as I continue to feel better each day. Five good days in a row! I got this!

All is well on the much cooler and wet prairie today!

Had the most delightful phone call last night from a Facebook friend that I have been friends with for several years but we have never met in person. Not sure why we have never talked on the phone before. It was a nice phone visit. Her voice sounds just like I imagined it. Some day we will meet in person.

Went into Emporia this morning to have my blood drawn. They were really busy so I had to wait almost an hour before they drew my blood. I will find out the results tomorrow. The person that drew my blood told me to tell my doctor my clotting factor is slow. She had trouble stopping the bleeding when she was done. She recommended they do a CBC if I have to stay on this thyroid medication much longer. I’ll mention that to the nurse when she calls with the results tomorrow to see if she thinks something needs to be done. One reason I don’t like medication – one pill leads to two which leads to three which leads to an increased risk of side effects. Seems hard to get that circus stopped! I’ll be glad when I can have surgery and be able to only take one pill a day instead of the four I am taking now.

Two friends came over today so we could help one of them plan an open house she is having Saturday. She is putting her art work on display and is nervous. I’m going to be her behind the scenes person for the open house so the artist can focus on her guests. We helped her figure out what to serve.

The rain hasn’t arrived here yet. Sure trusting it will get here soon. My yard is really dry. I moved Sophia to the garage in case it rains. Maybe that scared the rain away. Just heard the first rumble of thunder so maybe it is coming closer.

Got the great room and hallway downstairs finished this morning. Only have two bathrooms downstairs to do and the basement will be done. I’ll get those done today and then tomorrow I will start on the upstairs. I already have the guest bedroom and bathroom done upstairs.

My blood pressure and pulse are doing good for the fourth day in a row. It seems to take a while for my pulse to calm down after I do anything physical but it gets there sooner or later. Sure feeling like I have dropped down to normal thyroid levels.

Remembered to call a plumber today. I have been smelling sewer in the laundry room mop sink and noticed when I mowed a couple of days ago the lagoon is really low. I ask someone this weekend about it and he felt I probably have a block in a line somewhere. I left a message with the plumber and trust this can get fixed easily and cheaply.

Found out I will have a total of four guests for Saturday night. Not sure when three of them will be arriving or if they will want breakfast Sunday morning. Flexibility will have to be my word for the weekend.

Feels good to be treating myself to a clean house. I love when my house is really clean. Wish I could make myself clean it more often.

Cloudy day on the prairie today. Rain is coming. All is well on the prairie today!

I had the most wonderful evening last night. I rode with two dear friends to Matfield Green. The Bank had an art opening and the Surly Mermaid was serving food. I had a meat loaf sandwich that was amazing! The weather was perfect to sit out in the shade and enjoy the company of all who attended.

On the way home I got to see two sun dogs flank the setting sun. They were so beautiful. I rarely see them out here so it was a special treat for me.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I thought I was tired but I could not fall asleep. Makes for a long day when I have a night like that.

I got the results of two more blood tests that were run a week ago. My antibody levels are high which suggest I either have Graves or cancer. I kinda knew that already. What was surprising was the test that confirms Graves I wasn’t so high on and the test that suggest Hashimoto I was high on. The APRN guessed I would show the other way around. Usually Graves causes hyperthyroidism and Hashimoto causes hypothyroidism. I have hyperthyroidism. Leave it to my body to not read the instruction manual and follow the rules. Either case the solution is to remove the thyroid which was the original plan. Sure trusting my levels are low enough after my blood draw Monday I can get referred and get this over with.

Yesterday I got two rooms cleaned. One I had detailed earlier this month so it just needed touched up. The other one needed woodwork washed and the floor hand washed. Today I am working on detailing the great room downstairs. I have over half of it done. I do three or four tile widths across the room at a time and then rest for a bit to let my heart rate go back down. Trusting I will get it done yet today.

Once I get the great room done I only have one bathroom downstairs to detail and then just need to touch the other rooms downstairs up as Kathy and I had detail cleaned them earlier this month. I still need to do most of upstairs but I don’t like doing it too much in advance as it seems to get dirtier faster.

I haven’t taken my shower yet today. I have somewhere to go later this afternoon and knew I would work up a sweat cleaning so decided to wait to take my shower until I am done cleaning. I should have put jeans on though to hand wash the floors as I don’t have anything covering my knees and they feel like they might blister.

Sure feels good to move my body. I have sat way too much this month. Use it or lose it! The doctor released me without restrictions when I left the hospital. I take time to listen to my body and when it says stop I stop and rest. Some days I can get stuff done and others I don’t. Need to take advantage of good days and get at it.

Three good days in a row! Yes! I’m feeling good enough today to say “What thyroid?” I can tell I have been sitting too much as I don’t have much endurance but the only way to get endurance is to move.

Need to make a grocery list for this weekend. Next Sunday I am going to a family reunion and also need to fix breakfast for my guests. I’m busy Friday so need to remember to buy groceries Thursday. I will have my whole house cleaned by Thursday evening as I am taking Craig to Topeka for a medical test Friday morning. Trusting I will be home before my guest arrives.

I have four free days in front of me so should have no problem getting it all cleaned. I’m going to open the windows tonight as it is to be cooler the next couple of days. Seems silly to wash woodwork and then open the windows though. Oh well, at least I know the woodwork has been cleaned lately.

Feels SO good to be able to do normal stuff. Funny how I take for granted the ability to do so until I can’t. Knowing I got hit with the universe’s two by four to get my attention and allow myself to more fully align with my values.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do before I die. Surprisingly my list isn’t very long which tells me I have been doing what I have wanted to do all along. Spending more time with my family and dear friends is on the top of my list. Beyond that what is there to do anyways?

Another warm and dry day on the prairie. Rain is in the forecast! All is well!

So far I am managing to string two good days together! No big jumps up or down in blood pressure or pulse or if they do jump they come right back down or go back up. I got this!

Mowed my whole yard today. I came in for a bit to rest halfway through. I was hot and dirty by the time I finished. I need to sweep my bathroom floor as I tracked in lots of dry grass. Oh the places it goes!

I noticed my sewer lagoon pond is almost empty. I have been smelling a sewer smell in the laundry room mop closet lately. I wonder if I need to have someone come check it out. The sewer goes through an old septic tank on its way to the lagoon. Could it be a line is blocked? Wish I knew more about this type of stuff.

I took a nap yesterday instead of cleaning. Not sure what I will do this afternoon. Sure hate to waste a good day and not get any cleaning done.

The Surly Mermaid food truck is in Matfield this afternoon. I may drive down and have dinner. I love Amanda’s food. Certainly worth the drive.

Still haven’t made it over to Cottonwood Falls to dump my recycle box and drop off books at the library. If I go to Matfield Green later I will do it then.

Ended up making creamed chicken and biscuits for dinner last night. I had cooked a chicken earlier this week and needed to use it up. I had leftovers for breakfast. Have enough left for one more meal.

Monday I go have my blood drawn so my thyroid levels can be checked to see if I am in the normal range yet. I won’t find out until Tuesday. If they are within range I will be referred to a surgeon. If not they will increase my medication and will recheck in one more week. I have spent time visualizing my levels dropping to the normal range. I am ready to get this show on the road and get my thyroid out so I can begin the next step in healing my body.

Looking forward to the forecasted drop in temperatures beginning Monday. I will be able to open the house back up and let the fresh air in. I have a love/hate relationship with my A/C. Much prefer the windows open but struggle when it is too hot.

Finally remembered to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to take my pills. Last week they told me to split my dose and take two in the morning and two twelve hours later. I don’t usually take evening pills so have been afraid I will forget them. I set an alarm for 9am and one for 9pm so I won’t forget. Now I just have to remember where my phone is!

Empty space! I had sure missed it in my life. Most of next week is empty space for me. I may get to add an appointment with a surgeon if I am lucky. I am spending the day Friday with Craig and then have a guest coming Friday evening and Saturday night. It is so nice to have empty space again.

All is well on the hot and dry prairie today.

Slept from 10 to midnight and then got a second sleep from 6 – 9 this morning. Five hours of sleep last night if I add them together. I feel like a new woman.

Went into Emporia this morning to get chicken feed, cat food and to pick up some egg cartons from a friend. As usual I forgot to get food for me. I need to go to Cottonwood Falls to drop off my box full of recyclables and put some books in the free library box. Maybe I will grab something to eat at Ad Astra if I get hungry when I go to Cottonwood.

This has been a good day so far. No big jumps up or down in my blood pressure or pulse. It does go up if I am lifting heavy stuff but it has come back down nicely without me having to take more pills. I don’t have lots of extra energy but I was able to do my shopping and unload the car without being tired. I’ll take that!

My mentor called to check on me and did another healing for me. I wish I could tape our conversations as afterwards I have trouble remembering what he said. I always feel better after talking with him.

I so appreciate the calls I have been getting from my dear friends. They are concerned about me, especially since Kathy is gone. I promise I will call if I need help. When I am feeling as good as I am today I forget why they feel they need to call.

Sophia did better today. Star walked with us to the back yard but Sophia listened to me today. When it cools down this evening I will take her for a long walk. It is over 90 right now and too hot for me to go walking.

Nothing much planned for the weekend. I have a birthday party to go to Sunday afternoon but other than that nothing is on my schedule. I need to check with the grandkids and see if they want to come out for a bit. I haven’t seen them much since I have been sick.

May try to do some cleaning today. I never know how I am going to feel tomorrow. I have guests coming next weekend so need to get the house ready for them and take advantage of a good day and get something done today.

Grateful the roller coaster I have been riding has found a smooth track for me to ride today. Guess it takes a string of bad days to appreciate the beauty of the good ones.

All is well on the hot dry prairie today.

Doing much better today. Had a brief time late morning when my heart rate went up but after I took the new meds it came down quickly. I do notice I get short of breath if I do much but I don’t do much and that solves that issue.

Some friends came over and we celebrated Fall Equinox. It is the perfect time to identify things you want to change your relationship to and do some inner work. As the darkness grows it is time to turn inward and do some housecleaning and let go of things that no longer serve you. This year has been my second year of celebrating Equinox and Solstice and I now understand the power behind doing so.

Last night I fell down the rabbit hole. I started getting a sore throat and one of the side effects of the thyroid medication is it can cause you to not have many white blood cells. White blood cells keep you from getting infections. I took my temperature and it was very slightly elevated. When I took it again thirty minutes later it had gone up a little bit.

I quickly convinced myself I had no white blood cells left and I was on my way to a serious infection. My mind then had me dead and buried within days. Goodness! The places my mind can go if I allow it to run away with itself. I finally had enough of the pity party I was throwing myself.

Funny how my imagination can run away from me. At one point I caught myself shaking my head at myself for the foolishness I was doing. I was especially surprised how surprised I had been that I would die. After all every one of us will die some day.

I didn’t fall asleep until almost 5:00 this morning. Luckily I woke up before 9:00 so I could take my pills on schedule. I take the thyroid lowering pills twice a day at 9 am and 9 pm. Sure trusting these pills are working so when I am checked on Monday I will be in the normal range so I can get this thyroid removed.

Good news when I woke up this morning my sore throat was gone. All that rabbit hole nonsense for nothing!

I did my laundry today and washed the sheets on my bed. I need to clean the floors in my living room and kitchen. I will have to do them before my guests come in another week but not sure I can wait until then and only do them once. They are getting really dirty and bothering me.

I need to run into Emporia and run some errands. Not sure if I am going to go yet this afternoon or wait until tomorrow morning. I’m really tired this afternoon as I haven’t slept much the last two nights. If I can find something for dinner I might wait and go in the morning.

Sophia gave me a run for my money this morning. I was trying to walk her from the garage to the back yard. Star came along and Sophia would much rather have gone with Star than where I wanted her to go. I finally got her where I wanted her. Not sure Sophia approves of Kathy being gone. I told Sophia to suck it up buttercup. I am between you and your feed bowl.

Another hot and windy day on the prairie. Summer is trying hard to hang around. I broke down and turned the air back on. It was 86 inside and that is too hot for me. We are to get a cool down the first part of next week.

Yawning. May go to bed early tonight. Maybe tonight is the night for sleep. All is well on the hot and windy prairie.

Thanks for all the offers of help, prayers, phone calls, healing light and love being sent my way. I appreciate each and every one of you! And yes, I will call someone if I need a ride to the doctor or to the ER.

I drove Kathy to the airport in KC this morning and sent her back east for two weeks. She needed to check on some loved ones that have had health issues. Someday she may get to retire from being a nurse but it doesn’t look like it will happen any time soon.

After I dropped Kathy off I went and picked up Nicole. We did a Costco run and then went to lunch. Always fun to spend time with Nicole. She is planning some trips in the near future. Dropped her off after lunch and I drove home.

Yesterday afternoon I started feeling better. My heart rate stayed in the 50’s all afternoon. During the night it started climbing. I took my new meds this morning. When I got out of the car to go into the restaurant I felt like I had been running. After lunch I checked my blood pressure and my pulse was 74. About thirty minutes later I checked it again and it was 80. The doctor had anticipated it might get too high so he gave me another medication to take if it reached 80. I took a pill and checked it 30 minutes later. It had jumped to 118 but when I checked it 15 minutes later it had started to come back down. It is now back down to 56.

What a roller coaster. At least today I didn’t feel weak like I did yesterday. It is a balancing act as my thyroid levels decrease my heart needs less support. I am taking what happened today to mean my levels are still dropping. I will find out for sure next week.

I cleaned out my egg supply. Nicole ask me to bring her some so she could give them to her friends and a friend is coming later today to get six dozen. Love when I clean out my stash. As I get over a dozen a day it doesn’t take long for it to build back up again.

I had offered to cover Kathy’s shift at Pioneer Bluffs while she is gone. However, due to my medical issues I can’t guarantee I will feel like going on Friday. Ken volunteered to cover both Friday and Saturday so I didn’t have to worry about it. Ken, thank you! I sure appreciate you.

Sure glad I decided to do the adult thing and not travel back east. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had what happened here yesterday happened there.

I so appreciate the phone calls from loved ones checking on me. I feel really loved and supported.

Strapping on my seat belt and riding this roller coaster. Knowing this is a short-term problem and the long-term solution will happen soon. Grateful for the love and support of my friends. All is well!

Woke up this morning not feeling right. Took my blood pressure and it was 130/78 but my pulse was 40. I felt shaky and weak. I called my family doctor and spoke to the nurse. She had just had a cancellation so she told me to come in.

Kathy was teaching a yoga class. I told her I was going to go to the doctor and she stopped her class and drove me in.

My blood pressure was 179/84 at the doctor’s office. They put a finger pulse thing on me and my pulse dipped down to 40 again. The doctor changed my beta-blocker and then gave me another medication to take in case my heart rate goes too fast with the new medication.

I had already taken my beta-blocker this morning. He told me to take it easy today, drink extra fluids and let it ride itself out. I start the new medication tomorrow morning.

I am in a delicate balancing period. As the thyroid medication works and gets my levels down the need for the heart medication decreases.

The doctor indicated today that he thinks my thyroid over acted because it is cancer. When I had read the indications of both Grave’s and Hashimoto neither one seemed to fit. Luckily most thyroid cancer is treated with the removal of the thyroid and no other treatment is needed. The endocrinologist had said she thought it was Grave’s. I will find out for sure after they remove the thyroid and do the biopsy.

Kathy and I went and had biscuits and gravy at Commercial Street Diner as our reward for yet another doctor visit. After we ate we went and picked up the new meds and came home.

I knew yesterday I was starting to have too slow of a heart rate. I went for a mile walk and when I came in the house after the walk I checked my blood pressure and my heart rate was 52. It doesn’t seem to increase regardless of what I do.

While I was waiting for the doctor I saw a nurse that is in management at the hospital and she happens to work on the floor where I was. She used to work for me years ago when she was still in high school. I shared with her my impression of the nursing care I had received. Kathy got to chime in too. Not sure anything will come of it but it did feel good to share it with someone who might be able to improve the nursing care for other patients. She did tell me they staff many of the shifts with traveling nurses which makes it a challenge to train them the way they want.

On our way out of the clinic we ran into Keith. He had come in for some X-rays. It was good to see his wife can transport him by herself now. Keith looked better than he did a week ago but still has a lot of healing to do.

Sure will be glad when I can get this thyroid removed and not need the beta blocker any more. Trusting that my levels will have dropped enough next week that I can get referred and get this show on the road.

Thankful for Kathy’s help today. Grateful the Doctor had a cancellation so I could get in quickly. Trusting the new medication will work better. All is well on the warm, windy prairie today.

The Endocrinologist office called me this afternoon. My levels have come down but are still elevated. She is increasing my medication level and wants me to have another blood draw next Monday. I am about halfway between where I was two weeks ago and where I need to be. Dr. Detwiler had told me it can take some time before they fall back into normal range so I am not surprised they are still high.

As Kathy is leaving to go back east Wednesday this may work out best anyways as I probably won’t be able to have surgery until after she returns October 3. They can’t refer me until my levels are within the normal range. Then I will have an initial visit with the ENT Doctor before I can schedule the surgery. I was told I can usually be seen within a week of the referral. Not sure how soon after that they can schedule surgery.

I’m not feeling as well as I did yesterday but so far it hasn’t been a bad day. My heart rate is starting to really slow down. Have had some pulse readings in the 40’s. My normal resting rate is 55 so I tend to run slow anyways. I’m to call the doctor if it stays below 50 for over four hours. So far that hasn’t happened although it is getting close. It is a balancing act with my new medication to get my thyroid to slow down without shutting my body down. My body doesn’t like medication and tends to react in an unusual way. If you read the side effects my body will have the rarest one listed.

At least now I know this week is free for me. I have been wanting to schedule something but was waiting to make sure I would be free to do it.

I have some things I want to get when I go to KC Wednesday to take Kathy to the airport if I am up to doing some shopping. Nothing on my list is urgent but would be nice to get them crossed off my list without having to make another trip. I’ll be back up to KC the 3rd of October to pick Kathy up so I can get them then if I’m not up to shopping Wednesday.

Nice to see the sun return to the prairie today. It is humid out today and there is a haze on the distant grass. Sure feels like fall is all but here. It was almost cold in the house last night. I haven’t been cold for a long time it seems.

Going to do some cleaning the afternoon and move a bit. I’m getting really tired of sitting. I sure have a lot of empathy for my brother who has to remain in his chair for at least four more weeks.

All is well on the prairie today!

I feel like I have rejoined the human race today. My best day yet since I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

It is a rainy, foggy, and cloudy day on the prairie today. So far I have gotten less than 1/4 inch of rain. I have the oven turned on and am making an apple crisp and some Bierrocks. Perfect fall food!

Kathy and I drove to The Orchard to get some apples. I like Jonathan apples and the trees were already picked off so I had to buy a bushel from the cooler. I prefer my apples not to be refrigerated but once they are they need to stay that way. We each got an apple slush. I like them but I can only drink half of a small one.

Trusting I will hear from the Endrocrinologist nurse tomorrow with the results of my blood tests. I won’t call if I don’t hear from her until Tuesday. Sure hope my results are low enough that I can get referred to the ENT and get a date for surgery set. I have guests coming the weekend of the 29 and 30th of September so I would like to wait until after that to have surgery unless the doctor thinks it needs to be done ASAP. I’m only fixing one breakfast so probably could manage that even if I have surgery before they come.

I noticed today how fast my finger nails are growing right now. Even my hair is growing faster than normal. I must be using all my energy in speeding up the growth of things like that and have little left over for me. Weird! I don’t have a scale so I don’t know if I am still losing weight.

Trying to prepare myself for the shock of everything slowing way down after surgery. From what I have heard it will be very easy to gain weight. Trusting I can get the new medication adjusted fairly quickly.

I love rainy days. The house smells so good. I just pulled the apple crisp out of the oven. Getting ready to put the Bierrocks in. I have extras if you want to come get some!

All is well on the wet and foggy prairie today!

Not one of my better days today. I finally got sleep last night and when that happens I tend to be even more sleepy during the day. That certainly was true today. My blood pressure was 97/63 with a pulse of 48 when I checked it late morning. I didn’t have any energy and felt a bit light-headed so went back to bed.

I did go into Cottonwood to drop off my box of recyclables and then I stopped in at the new quilting shop. I love looking at bolts of material. I had a bit of sticker shock as I hadn’t priced material in years. Sure stirred up some memories of days long gone by looking at the material. Mom made all my clothes for years and I used to make a lot of my own clothes too. They are going to have lessons on quilting. I may get interested in learning how once this thyroid thing is settled down.

The owner of the quilt shop is going to teach others how to make a quilt she calls Starry Night. Seems like destiny that I learn how to make that one.

I was going to go get apples today but just didn’t feel like it. Maybe Kathy will go with me tomorrow and we can pick a box full.

I have lots of extra eggs right now if anyone needs some.

While I was laying down a brief thunderstorm rolled through. It was some of the loudest thunder I have ever heard. It rolled and rolled over the hills. I didn’t see any lightning and I only got a few sprinkles. Have another chance for some rain this evening. I sure could use a couple of inches to fill in the cracks in the yard.

I have some hamburger thawed I need to use up. I may wait until tomorrow to use it and make Bierrocks. It is too late today to get them started.

Kathy and I had a wonderful time at our friend’s house last night. We sat outside on her deck to watch the sunset and then stayed long enough to watch the stars come out. It was nice to sit and visit with other friends under the beauty of the Kansas sky. It was a beautiful night to sit outside.

I haven’t got anything done again today. I sure seem to be stringing lots of days together of doing nothing. Someday soon I hope to be feeling much better and have the energy to get out and move my body. It doesn’t like all this sitting.

I’m working on cleaning out my freezer. I keep finding old packages of frozen veggies and fruit that are all stuck together and freezer burned. The chickens don’t seem to mind them and when it is warm like today they enjoy a frozen treat. I need to clean out the refrigerator and find some treats for the dogs.

Quiet day on the prairie today. Feeling a bit better this afternoon. Grateful it won’t be long before this little episode is behind me. All is well on the prairie!

I got a call from the Endrocrinologist office yesterday afternoon. They created an appointment for me for today if I could get there. I was surprised yet delighted and of course I said yes I would be there.

I did not fall asleep last night until about 6:00 this morning. Bedtime is quickly becoming my least favorite part of the day.

Kathy drove me to Topeka today for my appointment at Topeka Endrocrinology. I liked the APRN I saw. She is very young but seemed to know what she was doing. After several people in their office searched they found my hospital records that had been faxed to them as she was not able to access them on the computer. Her recommendation is that I have my thyroid removed as soon as my hormone levels are low enough. I agreed with her. They drew some blood today to check my levels. The results won’t be ready until Monday. If they are low enough they will refer me to a ENT doctor to schedule a pre-op appointment for next week. If my levels are still too high they will increase the medication I am on and then they will recheck them in two weeks.

I had lost two more pounds since I was weighed Wednesday. Maybe if I wait two to four weeks I will get down to my goal weight without dieting. Betting when I have my thyroid out I will quit losing weight so fast. Think I will enjoy this while it lasts.

We had lunched at Annie’s after my appointment. I love their air fries that they serve with a generous portion of chicken gravy. As I will be making at least four more trips to Topeka over the next two months I may become a regular customer there. After we discovered the Whistle Stop Cafe, Kathy and I would stop every time I had to go to Wichita for the foot doctor.

The wind sure blew on our way home this afternoon. We drove in rain for a couple of minutes. I was happy to see the water filled puddles on V Road when we got home. Not sure I got enough rain to wash the cobwebs out of my rain gauge but it was nice to get the air cleaned up a bit. My allergies are really kicking up lately.

Kathy and I have been invited to go to a friend’s house this evening. I plan on going if I can stay awake. I may need a nap! This not sleeping sucks.

Grateful I was able to see the nurse today so I can start moving towards a permanent solution to this medical situation. I am getting tired of having low energy. Trusting after the thyroid is gone I can figure out the right dose of the new medication and get on with my life. The nurse warned me it can take two or three months before that may happen.

Amazing how I take my health for granted until I can’t. Maybe this little episode will teach me to take good care of this body.

All is well on the wet and windy prairie today!

Happy birthday to my oldest daughter Michelle. And welcome to the world Naomi – my niece had a baby girl this morning.

Craig invited Kathy and I to join him at Casa Ramos for lunch to help Michelle and Tim celebrate Michelle’s birthday. The staff helped Michelle celebrate by singing to her. I am stuffed! I don’t think I will need to eat the rest of the day. Craig and I shared an order of enchiladas. Thankful I didn’t eat a whole order by myself.

It is 90 already today and is to get even warmer. I haven’t turned my A/C back on yet as the house cools down so much during the evening. Thankful I am not sweating so much now that I am on my new meds. Auto correct just tried to correct sweating to swearing. Guess that would be true too!

I don’t have anything I have to do today. It is nice to have a day full of empty space. I have missed having empty space on my calendar. Now that I cancelled my trip back east I have found lots of days in the next two weeks full of empty space. Trusting they will mainly stay empty. Seems like the last couple of weeks when I had empty space they didn’t stay empty.

I slept from 8:15 to 10:15 last night and then was up until 6:00 this morning. I was able to get two more hours of sleep after 6:00 this morning. My doctor didn’t want to give me something to help me sleep as he knows I react weirdly to medications and he didn’t want to add a fourth new medication. After I get my thyroid situation sorted out he said he would give me something if I am still having trouble sleeping.

Found a Carole King radio station on Spotify. I love her music. I’m surprised how many songs I still know the words to. I can’t remember what I did yesterday but the words to “You Have a Friend” are still in my memory bank.

I do want to go pick apples sometime this week. The Orchard is closed today so may have to wait until the weekend to go. I was trying to find a time when the grandkids could go with me but that may not work as Tagen is at his daddy’s house this weekend. I love apple crisp, fried apples and I enjoy making apple butter. The only apple I like is Jonathan. Hoping I am not too late in the season to be able to pick my own. The Orchard opened later in the season than normal.

Enjoying the quiet music in the background. Enjoying sitting and knowing there is nothing I have to do today. All is well on the warm prairie today!

OH what a day! After a night of very little sleep I got up early this morning. Kathy and I went to my brother’s house in Lebo early. I stayed and babysat Abram while Kathy took Keith and his wife to Keith’s doctor appointment in Topeka. Keith got a new removable arm cast that he gets to take off twice a day to move his arm a bit and the dressing on his leg was removed. He seems to be healing well but still can’t put any weight on his injured leg. They got back to Lebo a little before 1:30. We had pizza together and then we headed home.

As soon as we got home I turned around and went back into Emporia for a Doctor appointment with my family doctor. I really didn’t find out anything new. His office called the Endocrinologist office in Topeka to see what the hold up is on getting me an appointment. The person they needed to speak to wasn’t available. My doctor in Emporia said they would follow-up and stay on it until I got an appointment.

I have lost six pounds since I was discharged a week ago. They checked my records and the last time I was in the office was when I had that bronchial crap earlier this year. I have lost 18 pounds since then. Guess having a hyperthyroid is good for something as I have not been dieting.

My doctor assured me the symptoms I have been having will get better. He told me if my blood pressure gets over 185/80 and stays that high or goes higher for four hours straight to go to ER. It has been getting that high most days but has been coming back down within an hour or so.

If I don’t see the specialist in the next three weeks I am to go back to my family doctor to see what he wants to do with my new medication. He didn’t do any blood tests today which kinda surprised me.

I have decided to cancel my trip back east. I want to be available if the specialist can work me in. I also don’t feel comfortable driving 2,000 miles alone if I continue to have the symptoms I have been having. I sure hate to cancel the trip though. Sometimes I have to be an adult and make adult decisions. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Kathy is going to book her flight back east for next week. I’m glad she gets to go. It has been hard for her to be away from her son right now as his wife has been very sick.

I got so tickled at my nephew today. He is only six but talks and acts like he is much older. He is wise to the animals that live on their little farm. We gathered eggs and he grabbed a broom in case the mean rooster came after us. He showed me where one of the chickens had died in their yard. When you live on a farm you learn about the cycle of life. We had a fun day together although my ears were tired at the end of our time together as he likes to talk and talk and talk.

I didn’t have a spell today other than my blood pressure and heart rate rose for a while during the day. It was a bit lower this morning then it was the last several mornings. Trusting the medication is starting to work and I will start feeling even better soon.

A beautiful day on the prairie today. A bit warm this afternoon but it will cool down nicely this evening. Sure can tell fall is coming very soon. My favorite time of the year.

All is well on the prairie today!

Feeling a bit better today but feeling like another spell is starting. I am so tired of these. When I go up and down steps or do anything slightly physically demanding my body says no way.

I called the Endocrinologist today to see if I could find out what is going on. The lady I spoke with today confirmed the referral didn’t arrive until Friday and that it then takes them 7 to 14 days to make the appointment. Wonder why I get a different story every time I speak to some one different? She did recommend my doctor call when I see him tomorrow if he thinks they need to speed the process up. When I read her what my dismissal papers said she was surprised they had told me what they had. I told her I was just the patient and I don’t know anything. Why is this so hard? I know, why ask why. Accept it for what it is – a fucking mess!

Going over to see Craig this afternoon. I used to type up a medication and procedure list for him in case of emergencies as his medical history is so complicated. It is out of date and needs updated so I volunteered to do that for him.

I need to remember to take my mail in prescription form with me to the doctor tomorrow so I can get a ninety day supply of my new meds ordered as it looks like it will be a while before I see the Endocrinologist.

I got the bedroom downstairs cleaned yesterday afternoon. I only have one more bathroom downstairs to do and the downstairs will be all freshly cleaned. I will touch it all up before my guests come the 29th. The floor I have down there hides dirt well. I didn’t think the rooms looked dirty but I found lots of dirt.

I’ve heard from four of five friends that were in Florida during the hurricane. The one I haven’t heard from is not on Facebook much. Trusting she is OK.

I’m not so cranky today. Well to be honest I was cranky after I spoke to the doctor’s office in Topeka but I had to let that go. Nothing I can do to change or fix that situation.

It is so nice out today. I think I will go out and pull weeks out of my flower beds. The forecast has a last blast of summer temperatures headed my way the next couple of days. Best get outside before it gets too hot again.

Adjusting to the curve ball life has thrown me. Knowing it will get sorted out soon. Sure makes me appreciate life more and reminds me to not take anything for granted. Things can change very quickly.

All is well on the beautiful prairie today!

I am cranky today. I didn’t sleep much last night. Woke up not feeling very good and had one of my spells. Starting to think I am having a mild thyroid storm daily as many of my symptoms are a mild version of what I felt when I went to the hospital minus the chest pain. I will be so glad when this all gets sorted out.

Kathy drive me into Emporia so I could get a prescription filled and get some things from Wal-Mart. I was a bit shaky and didn’t think I should be driving. What ever would I do without her?

After we got home and I put the stuff I bought away I cleaned the laundry room and hallway. The vacuum has been sitting where I left it the day I went to the hospital a week ago. It was time to put it away. When I get done writing I am going downstairs to finish cleaning the last bedroom and bathroom. I have the sheets off my bed and in the washer so I will get my bedroom cleaned today too. Feels good to get something done.

I wanted to change my family doctor’s appointment to a different time as I have something I want to do Wednesday morning. It took me seven phone calls spaced out over an hour to get to someone who could do that for me. I would either get no answer after letting it ring over 20 times or someone would come on the line and then transfer me to someone else and they didn’t answer. I was not in the mood for that today.

Still don’t have an appointment with an Endocrinologist. Trusting my family doctor can get that done for me Wednesday.

I am already tired of dealing with medical issues. I have much empathy for those that have chronic conditions and go to the doctor often. Nothing about this feels easy.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie. I love being able to have the windows open so I can hear my chickens celebrate when they lay an egg. I bought them a pumpkin when I was in town today. I will throw it in their pen and break it open. They will enjoy eating on it for the next couple of days. I got the biggest ugly pumpkin I could find.

Made biscuits and gravy for dinner last night. I seem to be craving comfort food and carbs.

When I get my cleaning done I might reward myself with a nap. I need to put myself in time out and stay away from people today. There was a meme on Facebook last week that said ” They tested my patience – it was negative”. That feels very true for me today. To my defense irritability is a symptom of hyperthyroidism. I think I will play that card today. Just a warning not to call or come see me today! I might not play nice.

Even Kathy left the house. She had an appointment to get the oil in her car changed. Thinking her timing was inspired!

Better times are coming. I will allow myself to be cranky today and then choose something better for myself tomorrow. Even I can’t do two cranky days in a row! All is well on the cranky prairie today!

At last a quiet day at home. I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept waking up. I slept in this morning so I was late taking my pills.

Had another little “spell” this morning. Not sure what to call them. They started happening the last day I was in the hospital and I have had one a day since, around noon each day. I feel funny, my head feels heavy and my knees are weak and I feel shaky. Takes about an hour to totally clear. Everyday before today my blood pressure had spiked when I checked it during the spell but today it was low.

The APRN had assured Kathy when I had my first one in the hospital that this was a normal course of recovery and my body is adjusting to the new medication. Glad it only lasts an hour and I feel almost OK the rest of the time. Still not back to 100% but sure feeling better than I did the weeks leading up to my thyroid storm episode.

Some dear friends stopped by today to bring me a gift. I have been blown away by the way people show me their love lately. My heart is certainly full of love and gratitude.

I need to finish cleaning a bedroom in the basement. That is the project I was working on last weekend when my body said stop. I may rest the rest of the day and finish it up tomorrow or I might find some energy to get it done yet today.

Still haven’t decided if I am going back east or not. I need these spells to stop before I would feel comfortable driving 2,000 miles back by myself. Kathy and I are planning on driving out together but I am driving home alone. I have also been having some loose stools and I don’t think I want to be on a highway when the urge hits. I still have a week before we are planning on heading east. I don’t have to decide until then I guess. I will see my family doctor this week and maybe he can help me decide if it is safe to travel. If I had to decide today I would not go. Trusting this will clear up and I will be able to go. Kathy will fly to CT next week if I can’t drive out with her.

Thankfully my hosts in Maine and my house sitter are flexible and understand my situation. I’ll let them know as soon as I know what I am doing.

Made some broccoli cheese soup this morning. I put too much cheese in it and it got too thick. Tasted good though. I’ll have to thin it down when I eat a bowl of left overs tomorrow.

Sitting and pondering the meaning of why this happened. I’m sure there are many lessons for me in all of this on many different levels. It has been interesting to observe how others around me have reacted. As always some step up and go above and beyond and others just can’t seem to do things that feel helpful. So grateful most have been in the camp of above and beyond helpful. Grateful Kathy was here and is a nurse and has been by my side throughout this.

The thyroid is in the throat area and when I looked up the energetic meaning of a thyroid issue it has to do with the inability to speak ones truth. There certainly was a time in my life when I didn’t have a voice and couldn’t use words to ask for help or to share with others where I am at. That has been slowing changing over the last couple of years. I still struggle at times to find words to express myself in certain situations. I certainly do better than I used to.

My mentor taught me I have a habitual reaction to 95% of what happens in my life. Not speaking my truth is my habitual reaction. I adopted that reaction when I was a child to make myself feel safe. If you put speaking your truth on a horizontal line like a football field, as a child I locked myself in on the 10 yard line. On my end of the range is rarely speaking up for oneself. The other end of the range is always doing so. As I have become more conscious of my behavior I have opened that range up for myself. I doubt I have moved past the 25 yard line but it feels like I have stretched it further as I am out of my comfort box. This thyroid issue reminds me I need to open my range even further and continue to step out of my comfort box.

Good news is I am still learning about myself. As long as that continues I have a reason to still be here. Once you have learned all your lessons and stop growing there is little reason to stay.

All is well on the beautiful prairie today!

I spent most of the day at Pioneer Bluffs volunteering. It was a beautiful day to be on the farm. We had a nice crowd for the Heritage Talk at 1:30. There was an art reception from 3:00 to 5:00 and then Tapas followed by Jazz this evening. I got tired so left before the Jazz band started.

Kathy had fixed sweet and sour meatballs to take and I fixed potato salad, chicken salad and bacon wrapped Lil Smokies. There was a bunch of good food served.

The mosquitos tried to eat me for their dinner today. Kathy had taken some spray but it didn’t seem to help very much. I need to take a bath and soak in some lavender oil to stop the itching.

I am tired tonight. I did a lot of sitting today so I wouldn’t overdue. I didn’t feel very good this morning but my head finally cleared and I felt OK to go. My trend seems to be lower blood pressure in the morning but for some reason it spikes at noon time and then drops in the evening. I feel better with it low than I do when it spikes high.

I have nothing on my calendar until Wednesday so trusting I will get three quiet days at home. I keep thinking I will have a couple of quiet days and the last couple of times it seems something comes up. I’m ready for some quiet days at home.

It was good to get out and do something today. It was fun talking to the guests that came and it is always nice to spend time with some dear friends that volunteer too. Maybe being out in the fresh air all day will help me sleep all night. I’m so ready for a really good nights sleep.

All is well on the prairie today!

I have spent most of the day attempting to make an appointment with an Endocrinologist. The lady I spoke with yesterday at the Topeka office never called me back. I finally found out this morning the Topeka office had never received the referral from the hospital. I called the hospital and spoke with the nursing supervisor. She called me back and assured me she had faxed it. I also called my primary doctor’s office and ask that they do so too.

After waiting a couple of hours I called the Endocrinologist office and ask to make an appointment. They had received the referral at last. However, the first available appointment is November 8 with a nurse. Really! Two months wait? I called my primary doctor’s office to see if they could get me in sooner and they said probably not. They told me I was welcome to attempt to find an earlier appointment with a different doctor in Wichita and they would fax a referral to them if needed.

Makes me wish I had gone to the emergency room in Topeka as they would have had an Endocrinologist consult with me while I was in the hospital.

I see my primary Doctor next Wednesday. His nurse said they will call then and see if they can get me on a list at the Endocrinologist doctor’s office so they will call me if they have a cancellation. The nurse told me this is normal and there is nothing they can do about it.

I don’t have a lot of trust and faith in the medical system anyways. This is making me have even less. Feeling a little discouraged right now.

Still having some blood pressure issues. It is bouncing from 155/80 down to 87/54. Hoping the medications will kick in and help it stabilize. Not sure I want to deal with these swings for at least two months. Wonder how long it will take to do a procedure if they decide I need one after the initial visit.

Oh the sorry state of medical care these days. It must be doing a great business if wait lines are that long. I have been surprised at the poor level of communication at the hospital. The doctor there seemed to think it was very important I see a specialist ASAP. Wonder if he knows about the delay and is OK with that.

It is what it is I guess. Trusting I can wait two months and not have a repeat of the thyroid storm.

Kathy and I went into Emporia this morning to get groceries so we can make food to take to Pioneer Bluffs tomorrow. Come see us for Jazz in the Barn at 7:30 and appetizers at 6:30. Cash bar available. Appetizers are $15. The weather should be beautiful for an evening of good folks and great music.

It felt good to walk while shopping this morning. I did OK and didn’t have a drop in my energy level or get a rapid heartbeat which I had been doing. I did have to go to bed last night at 8:15 as I was very tired. I slept off and on all night. Thinking it is going to take some time for my system to figure out what is my new normal.

My mentor called me this afternoon and did a healing on me. Maybe the specialist appointment is so far in the future to allow my mentor to help me heal myself without needing a specialist. I’ll take that option!

Enough with the depressing news! I have a better understanding as to what happened after talking to my mentor. Trusting things will resolve one way or the other and I can go about living my life healthier.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie again today. Love having the windows open so I can hear the insects singing and the chickens bragging about laying their egg for the day. All is well!

It was so good to be able to sit in my chair and watch the full corn moon last night. Just what I needed!

I took a nap after I got home yesterday. I was able to sleep five or six hours last night! Yes!

Got up this morning and went into town to get my new medications. I didn’t realize the pharmacies don’t open until 9:00 and I was in town by 8:00. Went up to the hospital to see Craig and Nicole and waited until 9:00 so I could go get my drugs and go home.

I spent the day mowing. I don’t think my grass has ever been this high before. At least it was easy to mow as I could tell where I had mowed. It is dry and dusty out there today.

Called the hospital to get my address and other information corrected. I didn’t do the normal registration process as they took me to a bed so fast. They still had my Twin Lakes address as well as other pieces of information that were no longer current.

I called the specialist’s office in Topeka to make sure they had received the referral from the hospital. Found out the doctor they referred me to no longer works there. The lady I spoke to is checking to see if the referral came in and promised she would call me so I know what I need to do from here.

Not sure why the nurse that called yesterday didn’t find out this information. With all the current technology you would think communications would go smoother. Guess not!

Last time I was referred to a specialist there was a problem getting an appointment. I had to find a different office that time and I was able to get right in. Maybe this is the universe way of telling me to find a different specialist. Anyone know a good Endocrinologist? I have to go to Topeka or Wichita as my insurance won’t let me go out-of-state or to Johnson County.

Nicole went back to KC mid-morning as Craig got to go home today. He is on restrictions until Sunday to let the heart cath groin sites heal. Trusting he will follow his doctor’s orders.

I have felt good all day. I did come in halfway through mowing to take a break so I could rest and not overdo it. My blood pressure has been good all day. I’ll be glad when I can get to the specialist and figure out how to deal with this long-term.

Still hoping I will get to go on my trip back east the 17th. I won’t know for sure until I find out when I can get to the doctor and find out what they say. Maybe they won’t have an opening until after the 26th.

Another beautiful day! Mid 80’s with lots of sunshine and bright blue skies with a light breeze. It could be like this year round.

All is well on the prairie!

Home sweet home! I was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to spring me loose but I finally got out around 2:30. They were trying to make an appointment for me with a thyroid doctor in Topeka and never did get that done. We had to ask them to remove the IV as they forgot I still had one in me.

I was impressed with the emergency room Doctor and his helper. I also liked the Doctor I saw yesterday. Not at all impressed with the doctor today. I wasn’t very impressed with much of the nursing care I received. They seemed to do only the basics and not sure even that got done most of the time.

Around noon today I didn’t feel very good. We struggled to get a nurse to come check me out. My blood pressure had jumped from 106/59 to 155/80. They didn’t seem concerned. Michelle made them come check my blood sugar and bring a blood pressure machine into the room so she could check it. My nurse never did come into my room to check me. Kathy finally found the Nurse practitioner and ask him about it. Kathy had been concerned my blood pressure was getting too low. He explained it is going to take several weeks before things level out and he expects me to have big jumps in my blood pressure up and down for a bit. I finally started feeling better and felt OK with leaving.

We went to my normal pharmacy to get the two new scripts filled. They don’t carry one of the drugs. We then went to another pharmacy. They said they had the drug the other pharmacy didn’t have. We dropped off the script and went to lunch. When we went back to pick it up after lunch we waited in the drive-thru lane for ten minutes and didn’t get waited on. I gave up. I will go to town tomorrow to pick them up. I was tired and wanted to come home.

Craig is having a heart cath this evening sometime. He looked better today then he did yesterday. Trusting things will go smoothly for him. The kids are taking turns being with him. I may go up tomorrow and sit with him if needed. I have to go to town anyways to get my meds.

So glad to be home. I am really tired. I did sleep some last night but I certainly can’t get much sleep in a hospital. Everytime I fell asleep someone would come in to do something to me. I took a shower when I got home to wash the hospital stink off of me. I put my pajamas on and am betting I will be in bed before the sun goes down tonight.

What an experience! Grateful I found out what has been going on. Trusting I will find a good long-term solution and will be able to manage it. So happy to be back home.

All is well on the beautiful prairie today!

Last night around 5:30 I started having bad chest pain that radiated up into my jaw. I decided I better go get checked out. I drove my car to find Kathy as she had taken Sophia for a walk. Kathy dropped off Sophia and drove me to the ER.

They took me right back to a bed and started drawing blood, started an IV and running tests. I really liked the ER Doctor and his assistant. It didn’t take very long before they figured out my thyroid was in over drive and causing me to be in what they called a thyroid storm. Luckily they caught it quickly and were able to quiet it down before I had a stroke or heart attack. My blood pressure was 214/120 and my heart rate jumped at times to 150.

They admitted me for observation.

I’m stuck in the hospital for at least one more night. My blood pressure is creeping up today and they want to make sure it doesn’t get out of control again. I am feeling much better. I’ve been up walking around several times today. The chest pain and shortness of breath is gone.

Nicole came down today as Craig got put in the hospital too. He is across the hall from me. Sometimes it takes an army to care for your parents. Kathy went to help Keith and Tammy out this afternoon. Jason will be up when he gets off work. Michelle came up and she and Nicole went to Craig’s house to get the dog and some stuff Craig needed. I walk over and check on Craig every thirty minutes or so. What a circus!

They have started me on some thyroid pills to calm my thyroid down as it is in over drive. I will have to go see a specialist to see what needs to be done long-term. Mom had her thyroid removed at some point. She then had to take pills the rest of her life. If the pills work to keep mine under control I may not need mine removed. However if I can’t keep it regulated they may have to remove it. Sometimes controlling it is hard – similar to controlling blood sugar. The level of activity you do can cause you to need different levels of medication. But unlike the glucose test for blood sugar there is no test I can do at home to help me determine how much to take. My body doesn’t always react to medication in an expected way. They gave me some Ativan to calm me down last night and I haven’t slept for a minute yet since I have been in the hospital. Maybe I need to try speed and see what it does.

I’m so grateful I have figured out what has been causing me to be so tired and have so much trouble sleeping which are other thyroid symptoms. I really struggled in Japan when I attempted to do the walk as my heart raced and I had trouble calming it down. I have sweated more this summer than I have ever done before and excessive sweating is yet another symptom. I knew something was up but didn’t know what. Grateful the ER Doctor figured it out rather quickly.

Trusting this is the end of the medical emergencies for me and my family. This is starting to get out of control.

Craig is having some heart issues. It may be a pulled muscle but they don’t want to take a chance.

Glad I am able to get up and walk around. I’m going a little stir crazy already. I have much sympathy for my brother who isn’t free to walk around easily. Grateful I am feeling better already and it is something that I can deal with. Grateful for my kids that have showed up and are helping out.

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes. They are working!

All is getting better!

A bittersweet day as this is the 13th wedding anniversary for Nicole and Chris. Remembering the beautiful day that joined them together. Remembering a life that ended too soon.

This has not been one of my better days. I went downstairs to clean a bedroom. I didn’t feel really good but decided I couldn’t sit all day. I had trouble making it up the steps when I was done. My heart rate jumped and I was sucking air. Sat for a while and felt better. Went back downstairs and the same thing happened when I came back upstairs. What the hell? As long as I sit I do OK. May be time to call the doctor tomorrow. This sucks!

We had a wonderful time last night at a friend’s picnic. I ate way too much good food and then we sat outside and enjoyed the wonderful music. It was a jam session and so enjoyable. We enjoyed the almost full moon rise and shine on us. Some good friends drove us there and brought us home again. As my sister said in her Facebook post it was an evening of Kansas at it’s best.

Am working on washing linens for the third bedroom. Two down, one to go. Kathy cleaned most of the downstairs today. It feels so good to have a clean house. Over half way done thanks to Kathy’s help.

Trusting my day will get better. Think I will take a nap and start this day over.

Fixed some food this morning to take to my brother and his family. Keith is laid up for a bit and it will be hard for his wife to get out and go grocery shopping. Kathy gave her some advice on caring for Keith but Tammy is doing a great job. Life sure can change on a dime!

This evening Kathy and I are going to a picnic. Some friends are picking us up around 4:30. I went last year and had a really good time. It is a bit warm out today but there are shade trees and a nice breeze. I need to remember to put my jeans and tennis shoes on to reduce the exposed skin that the chiggers can find. I have the food I am taking fixed and ready to go.

Broke down and turned the A/C back on this morning. Sure glad I did as it was nice to walk into my cool house when we got back from Lebo. Looks like I’ll be able to turn it back off by Tuesday as a cold front is coming through and it will be back in the high 70’s then.

I have one bedroom completely done and the linens from another bedroom washed up. Tomorrow I want to get another bedroom cleaned and linens from the third bedroom washed up. I got the laundry room cleaned yesterday. Am taking a day of rest today and will get started cleaning tomorrow. If I can get two or three rooms a day done I will have the whole house detailed cleaned before I leave for the east coast.

Thursday I am going to KC to have lunch with some dear friends. I have a few things I need to get while I am there. Always good to spend times with friends.

Other than Thursday my calendar is clear all week. We may be going over to Lebo a couple of times this week to help out and give Tammy a break.

Reflecting on how things can happen and a normal routine gets thrown out the window. It can be tough to retain your center when shit hits the fan. My mentor calls it overwhelm. I feel like I have been in overwhelm again this summer. It seems to finally be starting to lift and I can find my center and hold it for longer periods of time again. Hard to find joy and happiness when one is in the middle of overwhelm. It helps to understand what is happening and to be able to recognize it when it does. Gentle self-care helps reduce the effects but sometimes I just have to ride it out.

Another hot day on the prairie. Summer is giving us one last blast of heat. Looking forward to Fall and the leaves changing and needing a sweat shirt when I do chores. All is well on the hot prairie today!

Oh what a night. I could not fall asleep last night until around 6:00 this morning. The good news is I got all the linens in one bedroom washed up including the mattress pads, bedspreads and blankets. Not sleeping is good for something I guess.

Kathy and I went into Emporia late morning so we could get some food to make lunch for tomorrow to take to someone who had an accident. I am going to make chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans and apple crisp.

We are going to a picnic tomorrow night so Kathy helped me make a potato salad to take to that. She is going to make green beans tomorrow and I will bake an apple crisp in the morning. It will be a beautiful day tomorrow and a nice evening to sit outside and enjoy good company and great food. I do need to remember to take bug spray.

Have been working on doing the linens from a second bedroom today. Still need to get the first one detailed cleaned and the beds made. Plan on doing that yet today and I might even get the second bedroom finished up. If I do one or two rooms a day I can get it all done before I leave for the east coast Sept 17.

It is warming back up again. One last blast of summer temperatures before the next cool down comes in on Tuesday. May have to turn the A/C on one last time. I got my electric bill and it was lower than the month before thanks to the cooler temperatures and being able to turn the air off.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I have something Saturday at Pioneer Bluffs to volunteer for and I want to go back to KC to visit some friends one day. Other than that I hope to get lots of housecleaning done. Trusting my mower will get to come home some time next week so I can get my mowing done. My grass is really getting tall. I still haven’t cleaned out the chicken coop so need to get that done soon.

I’m reading the nonfiction book “The Innocent Man” by John Grisham. It sure doesn’t instill much faith in our justice system. I cannot support the death penalty as I don’t trust that the system works in all cases.

Not sure what systems do work these days. Sure wish I was smart enough to know what the solutions are to some of the major issues our country faces these days. All seem so complicated. Guess if it was easy the solution would already be found. Greed and ego seem to be the root cause of a lot of the brokenness.

My friend who lives in Houston is volunteering at a Center they have turned into a store so displaced folks can get what they need. She said they have to stand in line for three hours to get a loaf of bread, some trash bags and a jug of Clorox. Maybe the solution is volunteering like my friend is doing. She is making a difference in the lives of the people who come to that center today. She was lucky in that her house did not receive any damage from the floods.

I am grateful to have a house to clean and to have a washer and dryer to make the job easier. My electricity works, my water is clean, I have food in the house, a working car and gas is available. Compared to the people in southern Texas I am very blessed.

All is well!

Spent the morning with a friend riding through her pastures on a four-wheeler looking at her horses. It was a beautiful day to be out in the pastures and connect with nature. I also saw the house they are going to remodel and move in to. I’m glad I got to see the before so I can really appreciate the after look. I’m sure it will be beautiful when they are done.

Stopped by Pioneer Bluffs to see Kathy before I headed home. While Kathy is gone I may fill in for her and needed to know where stuff like light switches are at. Seven hours in am empty house makes for a long day. May have to dig out some knitting to do if I cover a shift or two.

Found a house sitter for ten days in September! I so appreciate her being able to do so. She even has a friend that will come down and take care of the weekend the house sitter needed to go back to KC for. I am so lucky to have friends like this.

Now Kathy and I can put together our plans for our drive back east. My Facebook friend is busy both weekends I was going to be back so will have to plan another trip some time so we can meet.

John Deere called me yesterday and told me they figured out what was causing my oil leak. It will take a $25 part but $425 labor to fix plus $200 more for the other work they did to the mower. They have to pull the engine to get to the part that is broken. He said it might be done Tuesday. Dang! I just spent over $400 getting my car fixed and now this. Doing my best to keep the economy floating.

Need to do some deep house cleaning soon. It has been a while since I cleaned the woodwork and detailed cleaned each room. It is time to wash all the bedding up in each room too. If I do a room a day it will take me the rest of September to get it all done since I’m going to be gone for ten days. I have a group coming in the last weekend of September who I need to clean for. It would be nice if I can get a bunch done so the house is nice and clean for my house sitter too.

If I get real ambitious I need to wax my wood floors upstairs again. I will have to use a scrub brush and remove the old wax first. Last time I did that I got blisters on my knees. I love the look when I am done though. Times like this I wish I had a much smaller house.

Two weeks of empty space on my calendar at last. I have missed it. Trusting I can get some things done around the house. Winter feels like it will be here before I know it and I need to get some work done outside before it comes.

Down time. Rest time. Stepping back into my empty space. All is well!

Cooked a frozen pizza last night and blistered my outer lower lip when I took my first bite. Ouch! Not sure I have ever done that before. Usually I burn the inside of my mouth or my tongue. It is a bit sore this morning but not too bad.

Cleaned my dining room and kitchen floor so far today. I mixed up two loaves of banana nut bread to bake and had to clean the floor again. I am a messy cook.

Am working on putting together plans to make a trip back east in September. If I can find a house sitter Kathy will ride out with me and then fly back later. She may fly out if I can’t find a house sitter. I want to visit some friends in Maine and then meet a dear Facebook friend in NY if our schedules work out. Any one want to come stay at my house for ten days in September? We don’t have any definite dates locked in yet but looking at Sept 11 – 20. The dogs don’t bite, the cats ignore you unless you forget to feed them and there is a stick in the chicken coop in case the rooster doesn’t like you. It is a beautiful time to visit the Flint Hills.

August sure flew by fast. Today is only the fourth day all month I didn’t have something on my calendar to do. No wonder I am tired. I usually take three to four days a week of being by myself to refill and refresh. Looking forward to a slower pace for part of September.

I called John Deere this morning and they told me they had stopped working on my mower as they had some emergency repairs come in. He said they were hoping to get back to it today. Not sure I am impressed with their customer service or believe what they tell me. Trusting they will call when it is ready to come home but last time they forgot to call. My grass is getting tall.

My Face book memory for today reminded me that I was walking the Camino de Santiago two years ago today. In the fun of the eclipse the anniversary of starting the trip passed me by. I will enjoy my blog from two years ago that I turned into a hard back book and read about my days two years ago. Walking the Camino was one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

I put a chicken in the crock pot this morning. Between that and the smell of the banana bread baking my house smells wonderful. It is making me hungry.

Sitting with a quiet mind today and appreciating a day free of responsibility and commitments. It is wonderful to have a day where I can be and not do.

What a beautiful day on the prairie today. Fall is in the air! All is well!

Finished the mailing for Pioneer Bluffs this morning around 9:00. Kathy helped me glue shut the last two hundred of them. I worked on them off and on all night as sleep was hard to find. Good to get that project done.

I am not sure I am a fan of a bra that fits. My others were so big on me I couldn’t tell I had them on. This new one has felt tight all day. No wonder women can’t wait till they get home to take off their bras. I have never felt I needed to before.

I did notice that my shirt doesn’t gap like it did before. Guess when they are up north where they belong they help make a shirt fit better. Kathy said I looked perky! Feel like I have chosen pain to be perky. I’ll see what I choose tomorrow.

Can you tell I am not a fashion-minded gal? You will know I have really gone over the deep end if you ever see me in a cute pair of shoes. I gave cute shoes up years ago when my feet started hurting. Now that I have had my feet fixed I may try a pair of cute shoes to see if I can wear them now. I am more of a comfort first type of gal. We will see what happens!

Took my car to town to get the new filter put on it. They did it in less than an hour. I had fallen asleep in one of their waiting room chairs. I slept all of five minutes but it felt like I had slept longer. The guy felt bad he had to wake me up. At least FOX News wasn’t on the TV in the waiting room today.

Stopped and got some groceries after my car was done and then headed home. I forgot lettuce for my chickens and Epsom Salts. Need to remember to write things down as I can’t trust much of anything to my memory any more.

I did remember to take the back pack I had forgotten to take to Nicole to Michelle. Michelle is going to go see Nicole tomorrow. That worked!

This was going to be a week I had nothing to do. So far it hasn’t turned into that. Maybe the rest of the week and weekend will quiet down enough I can get bored. So far I only have a picnic on Sunday evening on my calendar for the rest of the week.

Tomorrow I hope to get the chicken house cleaned out. With the rain we had it got wet and smells more than normal. The chickens always enjoy fresh linens. They gave me 14 eggs so far today.

Another beautiful day on the prairie. Low 80’s with lots of blue skies and sunshine. Loving the fact that my windows are open.

My heart feels a bit heavy with all the stuff happening around me. I have two loved ones that have experienced major medical issues. My news feed is full of tragic situations unfolding in Texas as a result of the hurricane. The political stuff seems to continue to keep getting crazier by the day. Yet I know there is lots of good stuff happening around me too. Sometimes it is hard to keep it all in perspective and balance. May be time to step away from the news for a couple of days and reground myself. I want to be a positive force in this cray world and stay out of the muck pond. It sure seems easy to fall into it these days.

All is well on the prairie and in the world. Even when it doesn’t feel like it is. All IS well!

Made a fast trip up and back to KC today. I had lunch with Nicole at Chipolte. We then went to Victoria’s Secret so I could be fitted for the proper size bra. I don’t think I have ever been in that store before. I was wearing a bra size that is four inches too big around and several cup sizes too small. Oh my! I got those puppies back up north where they belong.

Nicole and I made a quick trip to Costco. After that I took Nicole to her house and then I drove home. One of two reasons to go to KC was to take Nicole the new back pack I had bought to use on the Camino in Spain and decided not to use. Of course I forgot it. Am going to have to figure out a way to get it to her by mid-week next week. If I only had a brain!

Came home to find the envelopes to the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter had arrived. Kathy was already working on stuffing them. We are half way done and have stopped for a bit to take a break. I want to do one more box tonight and then I will only have one box to do in the morning. Sure helps to have a helper.

What a beautiful day outside today. Kathy had turned the air off today and opened the windows. There was a nice breeze blowing in while we were stuffing envelopes. I much prefer the windows open to having the A/C on when it is cool enough to do so. I have gotten used to the dust that blows in when the windows are open.

Need to get back to stuffing. At least when I do the Newsletter I feel like I have accomplished something. Most days I can’t seem to figure out what I did all day.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. All is well.

Not a good night for sleeping last night. For some reason my feet hurt and my skin felt like something was crawling on it all night. I didn’t fall asleep until after the sun came up this morning. Today I have felt like I have a bad hangover.

Took my car to the Toyota dealer to find out why the check engine light won’t stay off. I have a filter of some sort that needs replaced. When I ask what would happen if I didn’t replace it he told me at some point I will have trouble putting gas in the car. That is already happening. They didn’t have the part so I will have to take the car back Wednesday. I waited for over two hours today to find this out. The guy told me it will take an hour to fix it and I ask him if it was an hour like today. He had told me when I dropped the car off it would take an hour. He looked at his watch and seemed surprised it have been well over two hours. He told me it would cost almost $500. For a filter?

I haven’t heard if my mower is fixed. They called me this morning to ask some questions. I tried calling them this afternoon to ask if they were done but they didn’t answer the phone. Last time they worked on it they forgot to call and tell me it was done.

The Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter is being printed this week. I picked up what they had done this afternoon to get started folding and collating. Kathy helped me get half of them done this afternoon. We are taking a break and will do the other half this evening. I hope to finish the whole project Wednesday.

I’m going to KC tomorrow to go bra shopping with Nicole. That will be an adventure!

A friend came and picked up five dozen eggs while I was in town. Cleaned out my stash of eggs. Love when that happens.

Did some more push mowing last night so I could move my body. I sure got hot quick doing so. May go back out tonight and mow some more. It does feel good to move my body.

Sure wish I felt better today. I want to take my head off and shake it out to clear out the cob webs in it. I am really tired but know that doesn’t alway mean I will be able to sleep.

While at the car dealer I sat in a waiting room that had FOX news on. Over two hours of that gave me a headache! It seemed like they just repeated every 30 minutes the same stuff. Sure glad I don’t have a TV any more. I don’t think I am missing much.

Trusting tomorrow will be a better day. All is well on the prairie today – well except for my hangover. Next time I will get drunk and at least get some fun out of having a hangover!

My weekend guest just left. We had a fun weekend. She takes care of her elderly parents and needed a break. We really didn’t do much but had a relaxing time visiting. Sat outside and watched the sunset and then went back out to gaze at the stars after dark.

We had lunch at Ad Astra and dinner in Emporia. I did fix waffles and eggs for breakfast. It sure makes a more relaxing weekend for me when I have guests if we eat out.

We were going to go to Matfield to visit a mutual friend and see her new house this morning but the weather didn’t cooperate as we had a heavy thunderstorm move through about the time we were going to head south. I got 3/4 inch of rain in about 45 minutes. The ground is really soggy now.

I didn’t sleep much last night so may go take a nap. Have a bit of a brain fog today. All I want to do is eat and I know I am not hungry. Thinking going to bed is the best thing I can do for my body right now.

I have been seeing pictures of the flooding in Texas. I can’t imagine living through something like that. Holding them in my heart and sending healing energy their way.

Tomorrow I am taking my car to the Toyota dealer in Emporia to see if they can fix whatever is causing the check engine light to stay on. I have had the light reset several times but it keeps coming back on. Trusting they won’t try to fix something that doesn’t need fixed.

Hoping my mower will get fixed tomorrow. My grass really needs mowed. After the rain this morning it is going to grow even more. I did mow a path to the chicken coop using the little push mower so I didn’t have to high step it through the tall grass to feed my chickens.

Looking forward to some empty space this week. It has been a month since I have had more than one day at a time of empty space. After I take my car in Monday I have nothing else on my calendar all week. May try to get up to KC one day but other than that I want to stay home and enjoy the empty space.

I can barely keep my eyes open so think I will go lay down. All is well on the soggy prairie today.

We had a nice dinner last night. Michelle and Tim and their kids, Craig, Kathy and I had cream chicken and biscuits. Tim loaded up my mower and dropped it off at John Deere. Craig took the key to the mower to John Deere this morning. Craig told me it would be at least Monday before they can work on it. Trusting it isn’t too serious and it will be an easy and cheap fix.

Got up around 2:00 this morning after sleeping for three hours and did some laundry and cleaning. Never did go back to sleep so I am sleepy today. Finished five loads of laundry and got the guest room cleaned. Still need to make up my bed with the fresh sheets I washed. Got both upstairs bathrooms cleaned. Ready for my guest this weekend.

I sure am having trouble going off sugar again. Didn’t help myself make it easy as I made Eclairs for dessert last night. I sent most of the left overs home with Michelle and Craig. I couldn’t resist having a piece today though. Maybe I will start going sugar-free again tomorrow. I don’t like how I feel when I eat sugar but that doesn’t seem to help me resist it. I am a true addict!

Sure hope my mower comes back early next week. My yard really needs mowed. I had gotten the front yard done but not the back. I have to high-step when I go down to feed the chickens to step over the tall weeds.

I may go out and do some push mowing this afternoon. I really need to start moving my body again. Maybe that would help me feel better and give me some more energy. My ass is dragging today again.

After Sunday I have a whole week with nothing on my calendar. Looking forward to that as it has been a while since that has happened. Need to figure out something productive to do next week. I do want to go to KC for a day and go bra shopping. Nicole has convinced me I need a serious upgrade to the quality of my bras. She said she would go with me and make sure I got the right size and fit. I hate shopping but this almost sounds fun. I can’t remember the last time I bought a new bra. Thinking I am way overdue as mine are pretty stretched out.

I probably should care more about how I dress and present myself to the public but I can’t seem to muster much enthusiasm for that. I did notice when I was in Japan how nice the women dressed. Rarely did I see anyone in jeans or sloppy clothes like I wear. I had gotten a skirt a month or so ago and I have been surprised how much I have enjoyed wearing it. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

I need to remember to take my car to Toyota and fix whatever causes the check engine light to stay on. My local mechanic tells me it isn’t serious but I’m concerned if a second problem develops and I continue to ignore the light I will do serious damage to my car. Wish I trusted the local Toyota dealer better.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie today. It is to get up in the mid 80’s. I still have the air turned off as the nights are so cool. The forecast is calling for a gradual warm up so may have to turn the air back on. I sure like having the windows open better. I heard lots of coyotes yelling during the night. My dogs barked very loudly in response. The coyotes sounded really close but their bark carries over the hills and it is hard to tell how close they really were.

Time to get my ass moving. I need to get outside and get some Vitamin D. All is well!

I had two delightful guests last night. They enjoyed sitting in the swings to watch the beautiful sunset. They went outside after dark to gaze at the wonderful night sky. The moon wasn’t out so they could clearly see the Milky Way.

I fed them breakfast before they left this morning. They have done lots of International travel and it was fun to talk about places we had both been at.

I have another guest coming Saturday. This has turned into a busy week for the Center as I will have guests three different nights. I also sold a gift certificate today for a two-night stay and got an email from a guest requesting a two-night stay in September. I haven’t done much business this year and all of a sudden guests are coming. I haven’t had many one night guests before and rarely do I accept only one guest at a time. Maybe the Universe is wanting me to do a different type of business.

I had thought only having one guest at a time wasn’t worth it. It takes as much work to get the house cleaned for one guest as it does a house full. It sure is easier though only fixing one meal for them instead of five that I do over a weekend retreat.

I guess I will accept what ever business comes my way and see where this path leads me to.

Tim is coming out tonight to check out my mower. He may end up loading it up and dropping it off at John Deere. I bribed him to come out with a dinner invitation. I am going to fix creamed chicken and biscuits. One of my favorite meals so a bonus for me too. Kathy said she really likes them too.

After my guests left this morning Kathy and I went into Emporia to get groceries so I can fix dinner.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie today. The windows are open and I love hearing my rooster crowing and the hens celebrating when they lay an egg. It was so nice sleeping last night with the windows open and the cool air coming in. I almost got cold for a bit last night.

This has been a busy week for me. I don’t usually have more than one or two things on my calendar for a week. This week I only have one or two days with nothing on my calendar. Things will quiet down starting next week as I only have one thing on my calendar so far for it.

Trying to figure out when I can get back east to visit my friends at their camp in Maine. Not sure what Kathy is doing for sure yet so waiting to plan until she knows what she needs to do. If she leaves I will need to find a house sitter if I go on a vacation. We may go back east together and I drive home alone if she decides to stay. No rush to make plans so I will wait and see how this develops.

Still waiting to decide what to do about Fiji. Not sure I can handle their summer temperatures if they are like the temperatures in Japan. So far I don’t feel like committing to going. That may change but for now I am not doing so. Way back when I was considering it I felt like I had a caution and was to not commit too quickly. Glad I listened to it as once I sign up I can’t get my money back.

Sitting with lots of upcoming empty space. Right now that sounds delightful but guessing when I have a couple of weeks of it I will start getting restless. Sure wish I could find a good balance for myself.

Beautiful day on the prairie. Bright blue skies and no wind. I could get used to days like this! All is well!

What a beautiful day. Only 80 degrees with bright blue skies and very little wind. There is a hint of fall in the air. Windows are open and sun and fresh air is pouring inside my house.

I have two guests coming tonight. They ask me to fix them breakfast before they leave in the morning. I made some banana bread today and the house smells wonderful.

I have my house almost cleaned. A few last-minute touch ups to do and I will be ready for my guests. They haven’t been here before. Trusting they will enjoy their time here.

I mowed part of the yard last night. When I was done with the front yard I took the mower to the garage to fill it up with gas. I noticed it smelt hot. After I added gas I looked around and noticed there was oil on the garage floor underneath where I had parked the mower. I checked the oil level and it was very low. I have never had to add oil to it before. Sure hope I didn’t damage the motor by mowing with it when it was so low on oil.

I sent a message to my brother and son-in-law to ask them what I needed to do. Tim said he would come check it out for me and Keith said to take it in. Wondering if I hit the plug to the oil pan mowing last time I mowed. When Tim gets a chance he is going to come out and if he can’t figure out what is wrong will take to John Deere for me to get it fixed. It needs the blades balanced anyways as it is not mowing even. I don’t have any oil for it as I have never had to put any in it before.

I had never had trouble with this mower until this year. Not sure what is up with that.

A friend came today and got two dozen eggs. I had cleared my stash out Monday and gave each of my guests a dozen as a birthday party favor. I already had two more dozen and almost three. They sure add up quick when you get over a dozen a day.

Still haven’t recovered 100% from the trip to Japan. The brain fog has finally lifted but am still struggling with my energy level not being as high as I like. Maybe it is the effect of the sugar I had been eating. I am going back to being sugar-free and will see if that helps. I don’t like being tired and low energy all the time. I also need to do a better job of eating more regularly. I don’t think my stomach has recovered from the different schedule and the different foods I fed it while in Japan.

Enjoying this beautiful day. It doesn’t get much better than today. All is well on the prairie.

Mother Nature continued putting on a show after I got home yesterday. We had a strong thunderstorm roll through. Sure made me grateful for the gentle rain we had received during the eclipse. After the thunderstorm there was the most beautiful sunset complete with rainbows. Got another strong storm during the night with an incredible light show.

Woke up in the middle of the night due to the storm. My clock said it was 12:05 pm which really confused me as the last time I had looked it said 3:15. Finally figured out the power had gone off and come back on and when it does that my clock resets to 12:00 pm. Had a time warp thing going on for a bit.

My rain gauge has almost two inches in it from the rain I received yesterday and early morning today. Grateful for every drop as it was really dry out on the prairie again. I will need to mow again when it dries out enough for me to do so.

My heart is still full from all the ways people reached out to me to wish me a happy birthday yesterday. I got two cards that each had an eclipse stamp on them. How cool is that? It will definitely be a birthday I will remember for a long time.

Star continues to recover nicely from her surgery. I was given some pills to give her for pain. I have given them to her but not sure she needs them. Sure can’t tell by looking at her she had surgery last Friday.

I have two guests coming to spend the night tomorrow night and they requested breakfast Thursday morning. Kathy and I went into Emporia to get groceries this afternoon. I need to make some banana bread this afternoon or evening. I had gotten some bananas to take yesterday and forgot about them and didn’t offer them to my guests. They sat in the back of the hot bus and ripen nicely.

I finally slept last night. As is normal for me when I get more sleep than is normal for me I am more tired today than normal. May still take a nap. Having trouble keeping my eyes open.

I had started eating sugar again while I was in Japan. Not a lot but it sneaked in. Sure having trouble giving it up again since I have been home. Decided to wait to go off of it again after my birthday as I wanted to eat a piece of birthday cake. Realized this morning I have been having headaches again and am hungry all the time again. Now I have to find the motivation to give it up again. I did it for over seven months so I’m sure I can do it again. That first step is sure hard though. Wish I could eat it in moderation but I can’t seem to do that. I have to not have any as if I have just a bit I start craving it all the time.

Have lots of empty space coming up. Sure stirs up old habits and thoughts. This has been one of the harder habits to break – sitting with empty space and being OK with it. I am enough! I don’t have to prove that to anyone! Writing these words to remind myself.

All is well on the wet prairie today. Sitting and appreciating the beauty of Mother Nature. All is well.

OH what a day! This will certainly be a birthday I won’t ever forget.

14 of us loaded in a bus at 8:00 this morning. Casey, our bus driver, drove us to Atchison, KS. We didn’t hit traffic until about 12 miles away from our destination. Casey was able to find a parking spot for us that was close to the restrooms and close to where we spent the rest of the day at.

Thankfully where we were at was not very crowded. We had a big open green space to spread out on. There were other groups of people around us but everyone was in a wonderful, festive mood.

I had packed a picnic lunch for us so we didn’t have to wait in the very long line to get a hot dog. After lunch we had birthday cake. The groups around us joined in singing me happy birthday.

It rained off and on most of the time we were there but it was a gentle, cleansing rain. We all got pretty wet but no one complained.

During the eclipse it was pretty cloudy and when the clouds would pass and the sun would come out everyone cheered. As the total eclipse got close the temperature started dropping. It didn’t get as dark as I though it would but it was definitely dark. It was too cloudy to see stars.

We hung around a bit after the total eclipse and then starting packing up and headed home.

The drive home took much longer as traffic was bumper to bumper until almost Topeka. The traffic was moving but very slowly. We made two bathroom stops on the way home. We were back to my house a little before 5:00.

I couldn’t have ask for a more perfect birthday. The rain actually added to the day as we celebrated every time the sun came out. It kept the temperatures down so we weren’t so hot. We didn’t get to see the reflection of the eclipse on the ground but there was a change in the color of the grass for a bit. We noticed on the ride home how the grass and trees looked refreshed.

I so appreciate those that rode along with me today. I will cherish this day and remember it for a long time.

Something shifted inside me today during the eclipse. Not sure what or how it will play out but I feel different somehow. I feel very grounded and refreshed today. Lighter somehow too.

Perfect day. Time spent with dear friends. All is well!

Finally fell asleep around 6:00 this morning. Thinking it is time I go see my Doctor and see if I can find something to help me sleep. I’m tired of being tired all the time.

Kathy helped me fix the veggie and fruit baggies for tomorrow’s lunch. We decided to wait until the morning to make the sandwiches. It shouldn’t take the two of us very long to put them together.

Star is recovering nicely. Sure couldn’t tell she had surgery Friday.

Feeling a bit like I am drugged today. Probably from lack of sleep. I don’t like this feeling.

Still need to finish cleaning my house. Have most of the floors done so all I have left to do is dust and clean the toilets. Having trouble finding the energy to do much today but I am out of time and will push through and get it done.

Need to remember to stop and get some ice on the way home from Ad Astra tonight. Kathy and I are meeting one of our guests there and having dinner and then bringing her to my house to spend the night.

So excited about the total solar eclipse party tomorrow. Any day I can spend the day with 14 of my dear friends is a good day. It will be an adventure I’m sure! Still have one more seat on the bus if anyone wants to join us. Leaving from my house at 8:00 tomorrow morning.

Slowly adjusting to life without Legend. I swear I heard him barking last night. I sure miss him when I go down to take care of the chickens. I don’t think the chickens miss him though as he would chase them in their pen everytime he went close to it. He kept hoping one would fly over the fence so he could have it for dinner. He managed to get two to do that before I finally got some fence put over the top of the pen so they couldn’t fly out.

Trusting the eclipse will clear some of this heavy energy I have been feeling. It will be a beautiful reminder that even when the light gets covered it is only temporary. The light always returns.

All is well!

Thanks for all the love you are sharing with me over the death of my big dog Legend. It makes a hard time easier!

Kathy went in to Emporia this morning to help me bring Star home from the Vet. It was a good thing Kathy went with me as Star was pretty stressed and didn’t want to move. Kathy pulled and I pushed and we finally got Star to the car. We had to pick her up to put her in the car. Star sure was happy to see Roxy and Sophia when we got home.

I kept Star in the garage with the other two dogs for a while but finally turned them loose. Star is much less stressed being outside than she was in the garage. Trusting she will take good care of herself and heal quickly from her surgery.

I have been cleaning house today. Almost done with the upstairs. I’m going to wait to dust until Sunday afternoon. It seems to not last very long when I dust even with the windows closed.

Going back into town later. I need to pick up my forgotten groceries and then am meeting Jason for dinner. It will be nice to see him. We go way too long between face to face visits sometimes.

Still a bit tired today but the brain fog appears to be slowly lifting. I got sleep in sections last night but at least I got some. Thinking by tomorrow the jet lag will be over completely.

What happened to the mid to low 80 temperatures I heard you all had while I was in Japan. I am so ready for the fall temperatures to arrive so I can open my windows and let fresh air in. I love fall and picking apples, turning the fire pit on, sweat shirts, and beautiful colors. My favorite time of the year.

A familiar restlessness is trying to creep back inside me. I know some major changes are coming and am thinking it is a reaction to that. Keep reminding myself all is well. It feels like I recognized it sooner than I normally do so I will take that as a sign of progress. I need to remember to move my body more and move this unsettling feeling on through me.

Beautiful late summer day on the prairie. All is well.

Finally got some sleep last night. I didn’t sleep all night but certainly more than I have been.

A neighbor delivered 10 bales of straw this morning at 7:20. My chickens appreciate the fresh linen.

I took Star to the Vet to get fixed this morning. She had to be there before 8:30. I had put her in the pen in the garage yesterday afternoon and she managed to get the doors to the pen open and get out of it. Kathy helped me get a choke collar on her and get her in the garage. We put Sophia in the garage with her and closed the garage doors. Star and Sophia are good buddies. Star did not want to get in or out of my car this morning. I had to drag her into the Vet office. She weighs 82 pounds. I can pick her up in the morning sometime before noon.

Went back into Emporia this afternoon to buy groceries for the eclipse event Monday. I had made a list and still managed to forget a few things.

On my way home I remembered I had promised Tagen I would meet him at his bus stop this afternoon. It was his first time coming home from school on a bus. I unloaded the groceries from my car and went back into town to meet him. I stopped and got him a milkshake. He did really good and didn’t really need me but he said he appreciated me being there. He has grown up and acts so mature most of the time now.

Three trips into town today. I hate making one trip a day. I ordered a cake for Monday and wasn’t thinking when I told them I would pick it up at 4:00. I have to go to town in the morning to pick up Star. So tomorrow I get to make two trips. Maybe Sunday I can stay home all day.

My jet lag is much better today. Have had more energy and less of a foggy brain. I’m still not 100% but sure closer than I have been. Nicole said she had slept a bit more last night too. Maybe by tomorrow it will be completely cleared up.

I had to buy a new ice tea maker today. My other one must have been over ten years old if not older. The tea basket spring broke and it wouldn’t hold water to brew the tea in any more. Hope the new one lasts as long as the old one did. I make a batch of tea at least every other day if not every day.

I have two spots on the solar eclipse trip bus now. Another person had to drop out. If anyone wants to ride to Atchison with us Monday to see the total solar eclipse let me know. You are welcome to join us. We are leaving from my house at 8:00 Monday morning and hope to be back around 5:00.

The Chase County Sheriff called me. He saw my post that said I looking for Legend on Facebook. The Sheriff had found Legend’s body on the side of the highway last week. I appreciated the Sheriff letting me know for sure what happened to him. Legend was my favorite dog of all times. We had a special connection. It is hard to walk down and feed the chickens now as that was our time together. I sure will miss him.

Some how I knew that was what happened to him. I could tell his energy was gone from this dimension. One disadvantage to Great Pyrenees dogs is that they roam. They are very hard to keep in. They are so smart they figure out how to open gates and they are strong jumpers. I will miss his protectiveness. I had never experienced that with another dog.

Sure feeling change is in the air. May be the effect of the eclipse but things feel very unsettled and that major change is coming. It will be interesting to see where this all goes. Knowing my job is to stay grounded and to remember that change is always happening and I need to embrace it and not resist it. I also need to stay out of anticipation and stay present with each moment.

All is well on the prairie.

I was awake and dressed before 6:30 this morning so went into Emporia to pick Ellexia up so Michelle didn’t have to drive her out after dropping Tagen off for school.

Ellexia was in a much better mood this morning and played nicely all morning. Around noon time we went back into Emporia. We stopped to get chicken feed at Bluestem and then went to Freddie’s for lunch. Michelle picked up Tagen and then met us at Freddie’s. We had lunch and then I brought the two kids out here for the rest of the day.

Ellexia missed Tagen all morning but then fought with him all afternoon. Sibling love! Gotta love it.

I managed to get my bedroom and bathroom floors cleaned today. Still need to dust and clean the toilet but am almost done with those two rooms. At least I got something done today. Still didn’t sleep much last night and haven’t felt very good today.

The lady I get straw from is finally going to deliver some tomorrow. I had ask her two months ago for some more and she had forgotten about it. I pay her a little extra to deliver it and stack it for me. It would take several trips in my little car for me to get 10 bales homes.

One of my guests that was going on the eclipse bus ride decided not to go. I only have one person on the wait list. I sent her an email to see if she still wanted to go with us. If not, I will have one open spot if anyone wants to join us. We are leaving from my house at 8:00 am Monday, August 21 and are going to Atchison, KS. Planning on being back here around 5:00 but hard to tell as it depends on traffic. Cost is $50 which includes lunch, snacks and the bus ride.

I am taking Star in to get fixed in the morning. Trusting I can get her penned up this evening. She is not leash trained so this may be fun in the morning. Hoping once she is fixed she won’t run so far away.

The kids both have school tomorrow so after I take Star to the vet I will have a free day. After three days in a row of grandkids I am ready for a free day. My age is showing I think. I don’t handle them as well as I used to. We managed to have three good days for the most part though.

Still struggling to get rid of my jet lag. I talked to Nicole yesterday and she is having the same issues. I had a spurt of energy today so maybe by tomorrow I will be good for more of the day.

My heart is a bit heavy with all that is happening in the world. Legend is gone. A loved one is fighting for her life. The world events seem mighty heavy. Jet lag. Doing my best to refill my self with light and love and send it out to the world.

Times like this calls all of us to be gentle with each other and with ourselves. All is well even when it doesn’t feel like it is. Going to take some time and breathe deeply and release what I no longer need. This too shall pass. All IS well!

Three hours of sleep last night. That is more than I have been getting.

I had both grandkids today. Ellexia was grumpy this morning. Not sure what her problem was other than she looked really tired. We got through the day without screaming at each other so I guess it was a good day. Tagen is nervous about starting middle school tomorrow so he was a bit impatient with her. Glad this day is over!

Not sure if I have them tomorrow or not. Trusting if I do it will be a better day. Tagen has school until 12:30 so I may need to go to town to pick him up.

Didn’t get anything done today but keep peace with the grandkids today. Good thing there was nothing I needed to do. I took the kids into town at 3:00 and then stopped and got dog and cat food. I was going to get chicken feed but forgot to get it. So if I have to go to town tomorrow I will get it then.

About ready to go to bed. It is only 5:15 but feeling like I could fall asleep. I don’t want to get a second wind and not be able to fall asleep. I will take sleep when ever I can find it these days.

Got almost an inch of rain this morning. May get some more this evening. I welcome every drop. Sure am enjoying these cooler August temperatures. Makes me think of fall which is my favorite season of the year.

Looking forward to getting my energy back and getting something done. This week has certainly turned into a recovery week. I didn’t think it would take this long since I was only gone two weeks. Feeling my age this week.

I have guests coming next week so need to get the house ready for them. Maybe tomorrow I can start cleaning. Still need to make my grocery list for the birthday event. Four days and counting!

All is well on the prairie today.