Starry night on the prairie

Damn!  My Match guy turned out to be a fraud.  I had started getting suspicious a few days ago.  He followed the same pattern the other guy had followed.  His profile disappeared as soon as we made contact.  A quick trip turned into an unexpected additional long trip overseas.  Only a brief phone conversation and a delay in meeting face to face.  This one was so cute I was hoping my intuition was wrong but I pulled the plug this morning.

I am surprised what I am feeling is relief.  I guess my higher self knew what was happening and helped protect my heart.  This guy was just too good to be true.

The quiet of the house even feels differently today.  There is a peace to it today that hasn’t been here for two or three days.

I reactivated my Match account but not sure it holds much interest to me right now.  Thinking I will take a break until I get home from my trip in November and decide then if I want to proceed.  I need to figure out why I am attracting the scammers.  At least now I know their pattern.

Went into Cottonwood Falls for the Fall for Chase County Event that is being held this afternoon.  The sun was shining and it felt good to get out of the house and walk up and down Main Street for a bit.  Stopped in at Prairie PastTimes and a lady was singing.  I had heard her before and she is really good.  Sat and listened to her for a bit until my ass got sore from sitting on a wooden chair.  Saw several friends as I walked up and down the street.

Came home and got the two beds made up.  I was able to salvage the sheets the dogs opened the package they were in.  One of the flat sheets has some light grass stain on it but it is the back-up set anyways that probably won’t get used.

Only got four eggs from my girls today.  I need to get the heat lamp hooked up yet today while it is fairly nice outside.  We are to get a hard freeze this week and I don’t want to have to thaw water.

While the Match experience is disappointing I did learn some new things about myself.  That is always good!  I have been surprised at myself that old thought patterns still activate and run when I get insecure.  They don’t feel like my truth anymore but they sure can get me headed in the wrong direction for a bit.  It is getting easier to stop them and turn them around but I do have to stay awake and alert to do so.  I also need to work on some of my insecurities and the way I view my body.  Not good enough came back into my mind again.  I still struggle to see my new body shape and when I get insecure all I see is the loose skin and wrinkles.

Life is an interesting journey isn’t it?  Full of life lessons if I am awake and ready to learn them.  Knowing and trusting when I am ready the right partner will appear and I will wonder why I even thought it would never happen!

Grateful for my high self and the wisdom it gives me when I listen to it, grateful  for all the friends I have in Chase County and the hugs I got today from them, and grateful for life lessons and the ability to grow and expand my ranges – even when the lessons suck!

Happy birthday Mom!  Hard to believe you would have turned 89 today.  You always lived your life as if you were 20 years younger than you were.  I think of you everyday and am so very grateful for the time we spent together and how we became best friends.

This morning I worked on resetting the two guest rooms.  My guest that was to come in for the weekend cancelled so I will have the house to myself this weekend again.  Good news is I will still get paid for the weekend stay even though she won’t be here.  Now that is an easy guest!

I went to Pioneer Bluffs late morning to help do some data entry.  Ate my lunch and then attended the Board meeting.  Only one more meeting to go!  Found myself in the observer role at the meeting today.  Interesting to watch the dynamics at play between other board members.

When I got home I found the package of new sheets I had ordered in the yard.  One of the two inner packages had been totally opened and the sheets and pillowcases were in the grass.  The other inner package was still mostly intact.  Two of the pillowcases had holes in them.  I treated the sheets with a stain remover and threw them in the washer.  I’ll see if I was able to salvage them.  Seriously need to teach my dogs some better manners.  It is rude of them to open someone else’s packages.

My Colonel (match guy) is on his way out of the country for a work assignment.  He had WiFi on board so we have been texting this afternoon.  I realized on the way home I had been holding some fear about fitting into his life style.  I also realized I will be asking him to make some major life changes to fit into my life style too.  That seemed to help me release the fear I was holding.   So far I haven’t found much to not like about this guy.  He is helping me get outside my comfort level and is helping me find ranges I need to open.  I always appreciate that!  I am really looking forward to meeting him face to face when he comes to visit me the end of the month.

My Marine won’t be here next week as he is going to AZ for class.  It will really be weird not to have him around in the evenings.  I don’t even want to think what it will be like when he moves on after the first of the year.  I have come to love both him and his wife.

I am going to KC next Thursday to help Nicole.  I had forgotten to book off Wednesday and Thursday night so guests wouldn’t book.  I had a couple instant book for next Wednesday night.  I’ll still be able to go to KC but won’t be able to leave very early unless the guests get out of the house early.  I seldom have mid-week guests so didn’t think about blocking the time off.  Sometimes I forget I work!

Another quiet weekend by myself.  Not sure what I am going to do tomorrow.  Have laundry to finish and some cleaning that needs done but other than that nothing on my to-do list.

May need to break down and turn the furnace on this weekend.  It is to get down to the mid to upper 20’s both Sunday and Monday nights.  What happened to fall temperatures?   We went from summer directly to winter!  Not ready for cold weather.

Sitting in my peaceful valley tonight.  I’m grateful I figured out I was sitting in fear and able to release it.  Funny how a little mind shift can help.  I have been observing my monkey mind chatter and attempting to quiet it when I play a self-doubting old mind tape.  I can spin out of control pretty quickly with my thoughts.

Grateful for my mother and all the ways she cared for me, grateful for figuring out where my fear was coming from and being able to release it, and grateful for knowing the chatter in my mind is no longer my truth.

In honor of the third anniversary of walking the Camino de Santiago I am going to repost my entry from October 11, 2015

 

500 miles traveled mainly on foot! My journey on the Camino is finished!

I left this morning a little after 8:00.  It was just barely light enough to see the ground as I traveled down a tree-lined path.  Thankfully there were not a lot of big rocks I had to walk around.  It was cloudy but dry this morning.

I walked slowly all morning, savoring the last miles of the Camino.  I knew I couldn’t be there for the noon mass so decided to walk slowly.  As people passed that recognized me we would stop and give each other a hug.

It started sprinkling late morning but never did rain hard today.

About two miles away from Santiago my feet were really hurting and I needed to sit down for a bit.  There was an outdoor restaurant and I thought the building next to it was the inside part of the restaurant so I went inside.  It turned out to be a simple little church.  As I walked in I felt a wave of emotion flood through me.

I found a pew and sat down.  I immediately started crying.  Relief, sadness, you name it and I felt them all flood through me.  There was a man beside me and when he got up to leave I stood up so he could get out of the pew.  He gave me a hug as he left as he could see I was crying.

His hug felt like I was hugged by God.

When I finally stopped crying and came outside he was gone.  I walked the rest of the way alone into Santiago.  The trail was empty at this point so I got to walk in silence and alone!  Perfect for me today!

I saw an Italian restaurant and decided to stop and have lunch before I reached the cathedral.

Inside the restaurant was one of the ladies I had met a day or two ago that rode a horse yesterday.  Sitting beside her was the man from the church!  We had lunch together and I was able to tell him how much that hug meant to me.

His name is Daniel and he is from Ireland.  His wife died of cancer 12 years ago and he raised his four children by himself.  The youngest will be starting college soon.

He ended up walking into town with me and we got our Compostela together.  He shared his story with me on the walk into town.  We shared tears and hugs after we received our Compostela.

It was a beautiful ending to my Camino.

While I was at the church this afternoon I got a deep sense of coming home to myself.  Camino complete!

I didn’t sleep much at all last night.  Stayed in bed late this morning trying to wring out one more hour of sleep.  Probably should have just gotten up and given up.  Sometimes sleep just can’t find me.

Went into Emporia after I ate breakfast and ran some errands and got groceries.  Glad those things are crossed off my list.  Don’t have much else that has to be done today.  Since the sun is shining today maybe my energy level will rise and I will get motivated to do something.  Need to move my body today and warm up.  It is in the 40’s today outside.  Only going to reach the low 50’s for the high of the day.  More rain is in the forecast starting tomorrow and through the weekend.  May bundle up and go outside for a long walk. I feel like I haven’t been outside much lately due to all the rain.

Just had the best surprise of the day.  The friends I met on the Camino from California FaceTime with me.  It was an absolute delight to see their beautiful faces and talk with them.  I love technology when things like that can happen.

Made tentative plans with my Match guy last night for us to meet towards the end of October.  He is going out of the country on a work assignment for 14 days but when he gets back we are going to arrange a way to meet before I leave for New Zealand on November 2.  Trusting we can make this happen.

I am not sore today after my fall yesterday.  Very grateful for that!  I had fallen after tripping myself in a vine that was growing around the water pump by the barn.  I had filled a five gallon bucket of water for the chickens.  Thankfully the water went one way and I bounced the other way.  I went all the way down and landed on my shoulder first.  I was able to carry the bucket of water down to the chickens after the fall and I used that arm to carry it with so I knew nothing was broken.  I got lucky!

I got a notification that the shoes I had ordered had been delivered.  I went outside looking for them last night but couldn’t find the package.  Sometimes they take my packages to my neighbor’s house.  As I left the house this morning I saw my package in the front yard – opened.  Lucky it didn’t rain last night and ruin the new shoes.  They were completely out of the box and have dog slobbers on them.  I think I can clean them up after they dry.  I am going to have to teach the dogs how to read – I didn’t see their name on the package!   Thinking I will give them each some wrapped, empty boxes for Christmas.  They love to open packages.

My Note From the Universe today reminded me of the beauty of sitting in uncertainly.  The timing of that note was spot on.  Lots of uncertainly in my world right now.  Doing my best to allow it to be what it is and sit with it.  Goes against my habitual pattern to  do nothing with it.  At times it feels good to be able to do so and other times my practical brain wants me to throw in the towel and do something.  Reminding myself to stay out of resistance and action and to sit with the uncertainly and allow it to be what it is.

I also have a habit of going to the worse case outcome and assuming that is what will happen.  When I catch myself doing that I stop, pause and say a positive mantra.  I have so many habitual patterns to break.  Love when I discover them as it is hard to change something you don’t know about.  It is getting easier and easier for me to break out of the habitual pattern.  The hard part is recognizing them for what they are.  For some reason the Universe is giving me lots of opportunities to break my ranges wide open right now.  Sometimes it feels overwhelming but when I can stay grounded and centered it feels right and easy.

Grateful for FaceTime and the chance to see and visit with my dear friends, grateful for the bright sunshine today, and grateful for the ranges and habitual patterns that I am breaking open in my life right now.

 

My two guests last night arrived around 8:30.  I showed them their room and didn’t hear anything from them until this morning.  They had been driving all day and were ready to crash.  They came up this morning and fixed breakfast and then left.  Easy guests to have around!  This was the first time they had stayed in an Airbnb.  They booked another one for tonight so they must have enjoyed their visit.

Have been working on laundry and cleaning today.  The guest that was coming in this weekend cancelled so I will have the house to myself again all weekend.  My Marine is going to AZ for training Friday and won’t be here all next week.  Nothing on my calendar to do this weekend.  Sounds like it might rain again and be a bit cold so not thinking being outdoors will be something I will want to plan to do.

A friend came over for a business lunch today.  Always nice to have company to eat a meal with.

My Marine took me with him looking at the flood water yesterday afternoon.  He was looking for deer but we didn’t see any.  We had to turn around twice as the water over the road was either running too fast or was too deep to drive through.  The hills are beautiful right now with the shades of gold and red appearing.  Lots of water in the ditches.  Nice to see the creeks running and the ponds full.

The water that was coming up through the floor in the closet has stopped coming up this morning.  I am leaving the fan on it to help it get dried out so I don’t develop a mold issue.  The water ban in Chase County has finally been lifted.  So grateful the water tables below ground are full again.

I slept better last night than I have been but am very tired this afternoon.  Seems like when my body finally gets some sleep it wants more and more of it.  Not sure if I will give in and take a nap or not.  I need some groceries and may run into Emporia today to get them taken care of.  If not today, then I will have to go in the morning.

The wind is sharp today.  It is to get down to 33 tonight and there is a freeze warning out.  Not sure I am ready for winter – what happened to fall?  More rain in the forecast for the weekend.  It may be a bit before I will get to mow my yard again.

Got a phone call from the Pharmacy about the grievance I had filed.  Not sure I bought his story but got the medication discontinued so it won’t get refilled.  My Doctor had sent new prescriptions when I switched to the new company and then the pharmacy I had before transferred the prescriptions.  Somehow when one or the other scripts were entered the permission to fill box was checked automatically, even though my web page didn’t show that.  Sounds fishy to me!  Still may look to change prescription companies when it is open enrollment time to do so.

Dropped another pound this morning.  I am now five pounds below goal weight.  The weight loss has slowed down so am trusting I won’t keep losing weight.  My BMI was 20.3 this morning and I don’t want it to get below 20.0.   I am slowly starting to see myself as a thin person although I don’t think I am completely there yet.  I have added food to each of my meals and can barely eat all of them so not sure what I will do if I keep losing weight.  Who would have thought I would have this issue?  Wow!  I have been eating the Bright Lines Way for eight months now.  Rarely do I get an urge to cheat or really even think about cheating.  My body seems to like what I am doing.  Have lots less aches and pains and have lots more energy than I did when I started.  I have lost 46 pounds in 8 months and 66 pounds since a year ago.

Sitting in my peaceful valley but feeling a bit restless today. Had a caution flag wave at me yesterday and need to process it.  I have learned to stop, ground and center myself when those come up for me.  Sometimes I am just cranky and tired and they don’t need anything done about them but sometimes I really need to pay attention.  Stopping and listening to my wiser self tends to work best when I am grounded, centered and well rested.  I’ll see how this one plays out.  I am very aware of my impulsive habit and am giving it some attention so I can break that pattern.  Thinking the restlessness is due to sitting with the urge to do something NOW about it instead of pausing.  Always something new to learn about myself.

Grateful for easy guests, grateful for finding the Bright Line Eating Plan, and grateful for the teachings of my mentor.  When I pay attention my life is easy flowing – even when it sucks!

Received a request for two people to stay for one night.  They will be arriving this evening and checking out in the morning.  They are traveling from Boulder to St. Louis and wanted to spend some time at the Tallgrass Prairie Preserve tomorrow morning.  Hopefully the rain will end and they will get to walk some of the wet and muddy trails.

Dumped out 4.25 inches last night from my rain gauge and already have over 2 more inches in it with the forecast showing rain all day today.  My back yard looks like a swimming pool.  I have a little bit of water coming up from the floor in the back closet in the basement.  I mopped it up last night and put a fan on it.  Had to mop up even more this morning.  Thinking the water table below the house is finally full.  The good news is there is no water in the hiddy hole room.  That used to be the room that leaked.  Some guests sealed it for me and it has held nicely since.  Thanks Robin!

My Marine went to work this morning but returned quickly as his work day was cancelled.  He is taking a nap and then is going to go out and look at the flooding around the area.  Typical KS behavior during floods!  Lots of roads are closed around here and I bet more will flood by the end of the day.  It is hard for the ground to absorb six to eight inches of rain in a short period of time.

My Match guy had to go to DC today.  He got called yesterday and received a request to come.  He sure lives in a different world than I do.  I can stick my head in the prairie and ignore the world’s troubles for the most part.  He is directly involved in some of the nasty stuff.  It will be interesting when I finally get to meet him and hear more about what he is doing – at least the part he can share.

Got the guest rooms cleaned for the guests coming in this afternoon.  Due to the rain lots of spiders and other bugs are coming in to find dry ground.  Swept them all up.  Once the towels are dry and put away the rooms will be ready for them.

Nothing else I have to do today.  The guests won’t be here until after 7:00 so have all day free.  May take a nap again as I didn’t sleep much again last night.

Star, my pure breed Great Pyrenees turned two years old today.  She is finally considered full-grown.  Guessing she weighs close to 100 pounds if not over.  She is the trouble-maker of the three dogs.  She needs to learn some manners!

Just noticed my socks are wet and don’t match.  My feet were cold this morning so I put on my thick hiking socks and no shoes.  When I went down to mop the basement I must have gotten them wet.  It is nice to finally be able to go barefoot.  Before I had my feet operated on I couldn’t go without shoes as it hurt too bad.  The new Birkenstock’s I got have been very comfortable.  I ordered some lined croc like shoes that should be here tomorrow.  Hoping they will be comfortable too.

Sitting in my peaceful valley today.  I can feel myself opening new ranges all the time.  When I am well-grounded it feels good to do so.  Change is the one constant in this world.  Reminding myself to go with the flow and stay out of resistance.  I sometimes want to figure everything out ahead of time and have found that wastes my energy.  I have to trust myself more and ride the waves.  Life is a mystery and I’m not sure we are to know all the answers.  Sometimes sitting with the question is much more productive for me.  Answers eventually find me – or not!  The Universe has its own sense of timing and when I can match timing that life is easier.

Grateful for guests, grateful for my Match guy, and grateful for being able (at least in this moment) to embrace change and open new ranges within.

 

My rain gauge has over 4 inches in it.  I haven’t dumped it this weekend.  More rain is in the forecast.  The gauge only holds 5 so I will need to dump it to make room for the additional rain headed my way.  Grateful for rain!

My Marine got home last night.  He got slowed down due to the rain.  I was tired and didn’t wait up for him.  I must have slept good for a bit as I didn’t hear him come in.

Woke up in the middle of the night and found an email from my pharmacy.  The email was notifying me that a prescription order was being processed.  The only problem was I hadn’t authorized the refill and I no longer take the medication.  I called them although I really wasn’t expecting anyone would answer.  They did and I explained the problem.  The clerk said she would request the order be caught and cancelled but there was no guarantee that would happen.  I ask to speak to her supervisor.  She wasn’t very happy with me but transferred me to a different person.  That person told me the same thing.  When I expressed my disappointment in her answer she did some more investigation.  She found out that the medication was not on automatic refill but that someone had requested it.  When I insisted I had not requested it she mentioned something about a grievance I could file if the medication was shipped.  I told her I wanted to file a grievance now.  She finally cooperated and wrote up the paperwork and gave me a case number.

This morning I received an email telling me the order had been cancelled.  Not sure they would have caught it if I hadn’t file a grievance.  Wondering if I should change prescription companies at the end of the year.  I am not impressed with their service.

I was more concerned about the insurance cost getting charge to my account and putting me in the donut hole for a medication I wouldn’t be able to use.    I trust the grievance will uncover what happened and how the medication got approved to order.  I’ll see how it turns out and if I am not satisfied in their response I will change companies.

I went into Emporia this morning to go to Walmart.  I needed a few more pair of jeans.  A few pair I had are too big for me now.  Trusting I have hit the bottom of my weight loss journey and the jeans I got today will be the ones I will be able to wear all winter.  I picked up a new shirt.  When I went to checkout I discovered the price tag was missing.  The clerk came over to help me and punched in numbers to make it $5.00 after I told her I would get it next time.  What a bargain!  She also found a coupon for me as I had purchased three greeting cards.  I don’t usually see that type of service at my local Walmart.

This is an empty space type of day.  Am doing some laundry and cleaning but other than that nothing that has to be done.  My whole week is like that.  By Friday I may be going a little stir crazy.  Anyone have something they need help with?  Lunch anyone?  Hit me up!

Still texting with the Match guy.  I kinda thought he would call yesterday afternoon but didn’t.  He seems to take two steps forward and then pulls back.  It is kinda scary to move forward together.  I feel like I have been doing the same thing.  Am I ready for a relationship?  Still not sure but that has never held me back before.  I’m not sure I am ever 100% ready for something new.  Sometimes one just has to jump and see what happens.

May go back to bed for a bit.  I slept hard from 9:00 to midnight and then only off and on the rest of the night.  I’m glad I woke up though as it got the medication order stopped.  I am overdue for a sleep crash.  It has been several weeks since I got more than three or four hours of sleep in one night.  My sleep tank is running on empty.

The sun is trying to come out and play for a bit.  It is nice to see it.  It has been on vacation for several days.  Nice of it to check in on the prairie.  I always feel better when the sun is shining.

Still in my peaceful valley today.  The empty space feels healing to me right now.  I feel the need to do a deep meditation and deeply ground myself to Mother Earth.  More change is headed my way and change is always easier for me if I can stay centered and grounded.

Grateful for rain on the prairie, grateful for getting my medication stopped, and grateful for empty space that feels healing.

Just got home from the reunion.  Had a smaller than normal crowd today with lots of food leftover.  I took a chocolate sheet cake, a meat loaf and roasted vegetables.  Gave away most of the cake and meat loaf.  Saved a bit for my Marine.

It is always a delight to see my two remaining Aunts.  Both are finally starting to slow down a bit and look closer to their age.  Still can’t believe they are in their 80’s.  I love them both dearly and so appreciate them.

It has been a foggy and rainy day on the prairie today.  Got another inch of rain overnight and today.  Rain continues to be in the forecast for the next couple of days. The ground is getting soggy for the first time all year.  This will help fill the ponds for the winter time and hopefully fill the water table below ground too.

I had to turn the fireplace on this morning and again when I got home to take the chill out of the air.  Not used to 50’s yet.  Like them better than the 90’s but not sure why we had to swing so quickly to them.  What happened to the 70’s?

I was going to go to Pioneer Bluffs tomorrow to help clean up but they decided we didn’t need to do so.  I now have been gifted a completely empty space type of day for tomorrow.  I have a meeting to go to Friday afternoon if my guest doesn’t plan on arriving early.  Other than that this week is empty space!  That hasn’t happened for a bit.  I will have my normal Airbnb hostess duties to do but nothing else that has to be done all week.  Sometimes when I have lots of empty space I can find trouble to get into!  Trusting this time I will cherish the empty space and find something productive to do with myself.  Anyone need some help?  I’m free!

Thought of Mom today.  I used her recipes to make the chocolate sheet cake and meatloaf.  Felt like I took her with me to the reunion by making her food.   My Aunts are so much like her when I spend time with them I feel like I got to spend time with Mom.  I felt her with me today.

Both of my baby brothers came to the reunion today.  It was nice to see them.  We live so close yet rarely spend time with each other.  There were two babies that had been born this year at the reunion.  The family continues to grow!

I have a quiet mind this afternoon.  The roller coaster I had been on earlier seems to have leveled out.  Found my peaceful valley again.  Trusting with the empty space week ahead of me I can secure myself into this space and place and hold my center.

Grateful for the family that gathered today and the love and laughter that was shared, grateful for a week ahead of me full of empty space and that it feels like breathing space to me, and grateful for my peaceful valley and the peace of heart it brings to me.

Just got home from the Pioneer Bluffs Fall Festival.  I did the chicken chores when I got home.  Didn’t need to take lettuce to them as they were already roosting since it is dark out.  Only got 6 eggs today – the slackers.

I went to Pioneer Bluffs around 10:30 this morning.  I didn’t have anything I needed to do here and decided I might as well go early and help.  Set up tables, chairs, etc helping get ready for the Festival.  We lucked out and the rain held off until the very end of the day.  It was a tad bit chilly in the barn but as long as the doors stayed closed it was bearable.

Not sure how many people showed up – guessing a little over 100.  People came and went all day long so it was hard to get a good estimate on numbers.  This Festival was very different from what we have done in the past.  Seemed more authentic and true to our purpose this year.

Part of our rebranding is to become the Ranching Heritage Site for the Flint Hills.  The entry room of the granary was remodeled as part of that effort and two new kiosk were added that tells our story.  People seemed to be impressed with what we had done.

We were short volunteers for the afternoon.  I was greeting, serving desserts, keeping an eye on the coffee and water and selling calendars.  Not sure I did anyone of them well.  I have forgotten how to multi-task.

Got rid of both pies and both pumpkin pie cakes.  Got several comments on them – they were well received.  Glad I haven’t lost my baking touch.  It had been a bit since I had baked a dessert.

Got a chance to talk to several of the guests and other volunteers.  It was a nice day for me.  Time went by quickly as I stayed busy most of the time.

Late afternoon I got my first phone call from my Match guy.  We have been texting up to this point.  Was nice to hear what his voice sounds like.  We didn’t get to talk very long as I was busy and he was getting ready to go to a dinner meeting.  Betting we spend more time on the phone tomorrow.

Last night I took a dip in the muck pond for a bit.  Didn’t stay in it very long.  Had a good cry and felt better.  Not sure if it is the new moon, all the political shit happening, all the change that is going on around me or what but I got pulled off-center for a bit.  I didn’t sleep much again last night but am doing much better today.  Sometimes I think I just need to hit bottom so I can kick off and climb higher afterwards.  At least this time I recognized immediately what happened and was able to immediately surrender and climb out quickly.  I used to live in the muck pond.

Felt good to be in service most of the day today.  Hoping the physical activity I did today will help me finally get a good night’s sleep tonight.  I look forward to my soaker bath tonight to warm back up again.

Tomorrow I have a family reunion to go to.  This is one of my favorite days of the year.  My mom had three sisters and this is when the four families get together.  We keep growing in numbers every year.  I will need to get up and going in the morning as I will need to fix some food to take.  At least I know what I am going to take – that is always the hardest part.

Monday I am going back to Pioneer Bluffs to help clean-up.  Everyone was tired tonight and decided it could wait until Monday.  The rest of next week at this point is fairly empty.  I have one new guest coming in Friday and staying until Sunday.  Two of my long-term guests will be back Monday evening and staying until Friday morning.

I have less than a month before I leave for Australia and New Zealand.  I need to make a list of what I want to take and make sure I haven’t misssed anything.  May need to make one more trip to KC to finish up before the trip.

Grateful for a fun day at Pioneer Bluffs and a chance to be in service, grateful my trip into the muck pond yesterday was short-lived, and grateful for the rain the prairie received last night.

It has been a productive morning.  Have the last of five loads of laundry washing.  Made up two beds with fresh sheets.  Moved one of the twin beds out of a room and moved the recliner into that room.  This way one of my long-term boarders will have more room in her room.  She studies at night so thought the recliner would be more comfortable for her than laying on the bed.  Set out the heaters in each room as it has been getting cool at night.

Baked two pumpkin pies for the Pioneer Bluffs Round-up tomorrow.  Am going to also bake two pumpkin pie cakes this afternoon to take.

The house is empty except for me until Monday evening.  It has been a while since I had the whole house to myself for more than a day or two.  The house feels mighty big and empty to me today.  I am remembering why I want to find a life partner.  I enjoy empty space and an empty house but not sure I want to live like this the rest of my life.  Feeling a touch lonely today for some reason.  That doesn’t happen often.  Thinking it is because of the guy I am texting with.  I find myself projecting into the future with him.  Not sure that is a wise thing for me to be doing.  Way too early for that!  When I catch myself doing so I come back to my breath and the present moment.  Right here, right now is all I have and know is true.

Got the chicken coop cleaned out yesterday.  The girls love to rearrange their fresh linens.  Wish it made them lay more eggs.  Only got four eggs yesterday.  They are slacking on the job!

I went through my files and pulled the bills from 2017.  I will box them up and take them down to the barn for storage.  Sure doesn’t take long to do that task now – when we had the stores that task was an all day project.  Almost time I can start getting rid of the 2012 records.  That will only leave the 2013 records which is the year we sold the stores in April of that year.  The shelves in the barn are starting to get emptied out.  Feels good to get rid of that energy from the past.

May take a few minutes and update my tax records for this year.  I do that quarterly and if I stay on top of it I can get that task done in 30 minutes or so.  Sure makes tax prep at the end of the year easier.  I do want to call my accountant and check in with my projected income numbers to make sure I don’t need to pay an estimated income tax payment this year.  I think I am good but wouldn’t hurt to check.  I hate paying penalties for stuff like that.  It is hard to estimate the sales number for the Airbnb.  I think I can come close for the year now though.  Having to replace two roofs on the rentals will help at tax time too.

Not sure what I am going to do this afternoon.  Haven’t finished all the cleaning I wanted to get done but have a good start on it.  Hopefully the urge to get that finished up will hit me and I can cross that off my list.  I love having  a completely detailed clean house.  Wish I didn’t procrastinate on getting it done.

Sitting with curiosity as to why I feel lonely today.  Allowing it to be what it is.  Knowing it has something to teach me.  Softening my heart and allowing energy to flow freely in and out.  Knowing all is well.  I have been curious about the self-doubt thoughts that have been surfacing lately.  Many are old tapes that seem to be playing again.  So far I haven’t fallen for my old stories about myself.  When one pops up I have been replacing it with a positive mantra.  Being grounded and centered helps make that practice easier.

Grateful for a burst of productivity today, grateful for having learned some practices to keep myself out of the muck pond, and grateful for being able to allow my feelings to be what they are.  They dissipate much quicker when I can do that.

 

What a difference a day makes in KS.  Only in the low to mid 50’s today after hitting 90 yesterday.  Got almost 1 1/2 inch of rain overnight.  It was so nice to hear the thunder echoing over the hills last night.  The wind blew hard for a bit at times.  More rain is in the forecast through the weekend.  I welcome every drop.

Got three of the four bathrooms cleaned this morning.  Still have my bathroom to clean.  Have a couple more little housecleaning projects I want to get done this afternoon.  May get down and get the chicken coop cleaned out.  It is nice and cool out and a good day to get that project done.

Went into Emporia this morning to get groceries.  It is supposed to rain most of the day tomorrow and decided to get groceries while it was dry out.  I am making some desserts to take to Pioneer Bluffs Fall Round-Up Saturday and I needed stuff for that as well as for a meat loaf and roasted veggies to take to the family reunion Sunday. I was going to get a new trash can while I was in town but filled my car with groceries and didn’t have room for the trash can.  The wife of my Marine was going to town this afternoon and offered to pick one up for me.  How sweet is that?

It is so nice to have lots of empty space right now.  I thought I had collected the bits and pieces of myself yesterday but they scattered to the wind again today.  I feel them slowly coming back in as I stop and Be for a bit.  I need to slow way down and allow all of me to get in sync.  Too much change happening around me too fast.  I need to catch up by slowing down!

I didn’t get my appreciation letters written yesterday so that is on my schedule for this afternoon.  I needed to slow down and gather my thoughts so I could write them.  I was too scattered yesterday to do so.  Maybe this afternoon the words will come to me.

Ordered some shoes yesterday.  I had gotten a catalog and happened to see a pair of black flats I can wear with dresses.  I usually don’t like to order stuff like that as returns can be problematic but decided to take a chance.  I don’t want to drive back to KC next week just for shoes.

My insurance agent called this morning and finalized the insurance for the new investment property I had purchased Monday.  I have another company I had used for the other three but decided to go with the agent that has my personal house insurance for this property.  She is easy to deal with and was willing to call my property manager and get the details fo the property from him.  I wasn’t sure the other company would do that without a hassle.  Her rate was a bit higher but not out of reason.

This sure feels like it may be a nap day.  For some reason I am sleepy today.  I got some sleep last night – although not much in a row.  I had opened my bedroom window and it got down right cold in my bedroom during the night.  Had to turn the electric blanket on.

Need to get the dog collars charged today.  It is nice and cool outside and I haven’t caught them in the garage yet.  These dogs love cold weather!  They don’t even seem to mind the rain.

I managed to change the light bulb in the high living room ceiling by myself yesterday using the extension pole.  For some reason I was able to hit the hole on the first try and had no issue at all.  I looked like a professional changing it.  I get ridiculously proud of myself when I can do a simple job like that with no issues.  Doesn’t happen very often!

Slowing things way down today to gather myself back together.  May or may not get more housecleaning done.  One thing I have learned about dust is that it waits for me!  Refilling my soul and taking some time to completely gather myself feels more important to do today – especially since I have to be around people all weekend.  If I don’t go into the weekend with a filled soul I will be completely drained by Sunday evening and it will take all week to recover.

Grateful for the rain and thunder the prairie received last night, grateful for empty space so I can refill by soul, and grateful I have finally figured out how to practice self-care and allow myself the space to care for myself.  That hasn’t happened much in the past!

Got a bit more sleep last night than the night before.  I had turned the A/C back on so it was nice and cool in my bedroom.  That helped some.  Looking forward to the cold front coming in tonight so I can turn the A/C back off.

Hand mopped the living room floor this morning.  Wore a blister on my knee.  I washed the woodwork and found lots of dirt.  Feels good to be sitting in a very clean living room now.  I also got the front entry way cleaned.  I’ll do some more cleaning this afternoon.  Hope to get the entire house cleaned by Friday.

The wind is howling today.  Glad I got my mowing done last night.  It is dusty and dry again.  Came in from mowing with grass stuck in places on my body it didn’t belong. The high for today is to be 90 and the high for tomorrow is to be 59.  Gotta love KS weather.

A year ago tomorrow I had my thyroid removed.  Hard to believe it has been that long.  What a roller coaster ride that whole thyroid episode took me on.  So grateful everything turned out the way it did and it now feels like the drama of all of it is behind me.  I will go have another ultrasound later this month along with another panel of blood work.  Next year I won’t have to be followed so closely.

Found out my Match guy was an accountant in the Army.  That explains some of his behavior to me.  Things he has texted make more sense now.  It feels like I have known him much longer than I actually have.  He is easy to text with and has a wonderful sense of humor.

Another light bulb burned out in my living room.  Think I will wait and have my guy replace it when he gets off work tonight.  It only takes him two minutes to replace the bulb and it takes me 30.  He makes it look easy.  Nice to have a guy around the house that is handy like he is.

I am lots more focused and can stay on task today.  Yesterday I had one of those days where I couldn’t remember what I got up to do.  My mind was racing yesterday but kept changing tracks.  Today it is much calmer and quiet.  Grateful!

I’m already behind on my Gratitude Project for the month.  I’ll need to write two notes today to catch up.  Attempting to send a note each day during October to someone who has made an impact on my life.  I think sometimes we forget to tell people how much they mean to us.   The Mr. Rogers documentary I saw inspired me to start this project.  I am also working to secure “we” and am thinking this project will help with that too.  I have realized I have had to be independent for so long that I forget about others and the way they helped me and would help me even more if I would allow them too.  We aren’t meant to live life like a hermit – we need each other.  It is too easy for me to become a hermit and not deal with others.  If I want to allow a partner in to my life I need to break that pattern and habit.

Allowing this day to unfold at a slower pace.  When I get that hurry up rush I stop and do nothing for a bit.  It is helping me to re-ground and find my center again.  My peaceful valley of life is slowly coming back to me.  My bits and pieces seem to be coming back together and I am not so scattered.  Grateful I have three days in a row with nothing on my calendar so I can pull myself back together again.

Grateful to get the house cleaning project started, grateful the thyroid cancer is quickly becoming a thing of the past, and grateful for finding my center again.  I miss it when I can’t access it.  Life is much easier when I can access my easy button – which is being grounded and centered.

 

 

Had a delightful evening sitting out in the swings with my guests last night.  It cooled down nicely and it felt good to have the fire on.  The guests from New Zealand were so fun to visit with.  When they left this morning they told me to get hold of them if we have a free day in one of the cities I will be in while visiting New Zealand and they would drive up and take us out to see the country outside of the tourist spots.  Not sure we have a free day in that city but if we do I just might take them up on their offer.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night.  Sometimes that happens when I take a nap and sometimes it doesn’t.  I am really tired this afternoon but I will stay up today and hopefully be able to crash tonight.

Went to Pioneer Bluffs after my guests left around 9:00 this morning.  There was a meeting of about 65 people being held at Pioneer Bluffs and I was asked to help serve the lunch.  The guys we served were very polite and gracious.  I could tell a bunch were from OK as they called me Mam.  I felt old!

When I first got to Pioneer Bluffs I could smell a dead mouse.  One of the other volunteers could smell it too.  We decided we needed to find it and get rid of it as it was close to where we were going to be serving the desserts.  I looked under the sink and opened a box and found it.  It was a rat about the size of a fist.  YUCK!  It had been dead for some time.  There was a guy there and I hollered for him.  He picked up the box the rat was in and took it to the tree line and dumped it out.  I could have done it but decided to take advantage and ask the man to do it.  I thanked him a couple of times for his service.  The smell got stuck in my nose hairs.  I was glad when the BBQ arrived and I went over and took a good whiff of the BBQ to get the dead rat smell to go away.

Came home a little after one.  The guy I have been texting had sent me a box of a dozen chocolate dipped fruit pieces.  How sweet is that?

Am working on doing laundry and cleaning the room that the guests from New Zealand used.  I need to get that room cleaned so one of my long-termers can move into that room this week.  Then I will use the two connecting rooms for short-term guests.

Still feeling like I am running a bit behind since I got home from the city.  Thankfully I have three empty space days coming up so should be able to get caught up.  My upstairs needs cleaned badly as does the great room and kitchen downstairs.  I should have plenty of time the next three days to get everything cleaned up.

Saturday I will go back to Pioneer Bluffs to help with the Fall Round-Up from 1:00 – 7:00.  Sunday I have a family reunion to go to in Marion.  I do need to get to the grocery store one day this week to get stuff so I can make  food to take to the reunion.  I’m going to make a meat loaf and roasted veggies – that way I will have something I can eat.

I hid my Match account for a bit.  I want to see where the Match I have been texting is going.  I can’t talk to two guys at the same time.  A couple of others have sent messages over the last few days.  I really like the guy I am texting with now and want to give him my full attention.  Still not sure where it will go – if anywhere – but I want to give it a chance to work.  I will open the visibility of my account back up if this Match flames out.

Struggling to stay focused today and get things done.  Probably from not sleeping much last night.  I feel like I have a lot to do yet I’m not sure that is true.  There is an internal pressure inside telling me to go faster and faster.  Usually when that happens what would really serve me better is to stop and do nothing for a bit.  Thinking my body is struggling to keep up with all the changes happening around me lately.  The pieces of me don’t seem to be in sync with each other.

Got some mowing done last night and will go out tonight when it cools down and finish that job.  I got started mowing late as my guests had come up and wanted to visit.  Hopefully I’ll get started a bit earlier tonight and have time to finish the rest of the yard.

Grateful for the guy that helped me out and dumped the dead rat, grateful for the gift the Match guy sent me, and grateful for knowing what my body really needs and that I have some empty space days ahead of me so I can get back into sync.

Signed papers purchasing my fourth investment property today.  Closing took all of five minutes.  Called the insurance lady and she is arranging insurance for the property.  She has to call my business partner to get the details of the property as I haven’t been in it yet.  My business partner sure makes it easy for me.

Stopped and got a few groceries while I was in town.  Cleaned out the pantry a bit.  The pantry is feeling crowded to me so need to do some more work in it.  I really need to go through every shelf and find what I haven’t used for a long time if ever and get rid of it.  It may just be crowded because I buy guest stuff in bulk and have the shelves pretty full right now.

Took a nap this afternoon.  I needed to get caught up with some sleep from the weekend.  Being in city energy drains me faster than anything I know.  For some reason I sleep best in the middle of the day.

My guests have been in and out today.  They are very nice and I have enjoyed having them around.  She did some laundry today but wanted to hang it out on the clothes line instead of using the dryer.  She was excited to see that I had a clothes line.  They leave tomorrow morning.

Still texting the same guy.  We haven’t moved to phone calls yet.  We do exchange a lot of texts a day though.  Still not sure where this is going but am having fun.  He has a wonderful sense of humor and I am enjoying that.  He is a big romantic guy too.  Not creepy romantic like the last guy.

I am doing a personal challenge for October.  Everyday during October I want to send a different person a note – either handwritten or through email – letting them know how much they mean to me and how they helped change the direction of my life.  I am working on securing “we” and this challenge may help me do that.

I sent my first note via Facebook Messenger to the leader of the Spirit Plant Retreat I attended last December in Peru.  I let him know all that has happened to me since that retreat and how much I appreciate him.  In his response he said he had been talking with someone just a few days ago about me.  He shared with them how I had used the barf bucket to shit in during the second ceremony.  I wrote back that I guess that is one way to get him to remember me!  That retreat was one of those pivotal events in my life.  I was ready to release a bunch of stuff that I was holding on to that no longer served.  Between the plant medicine and the parasite did I ever release.  I do believe though that is what made room for all the good stuff to come into my life now.  Hard to pick up and carry something new if your arms are full of old stuff!  It was past time for me to release all the stuff I had picked up and had been carrying at that point in my life.  No wonder I have lost 45 pounds since the retreat!  Talk about a physical symbol of my inner work – they do go together.

Two more days of summer heat on tap and then it turns to more seasonal cooler weather.  I am so ready for the heat to be gone.  I will have to turn the air back on so the house is cool for my lineman tomorrow night  He works out in the heat all day and needs to come home to a cool house.  The wind has been blowing today and there is dust everywhere again.  Next time I buy end tables for the living room I need to get some that won’t show dust.

Tomorrow I am going to Pioneer Bluffs to help with a private event that is being held there.  Not sure what time my guests will leave.  Official check-out time is 11:00.  The event at Pioneer Bluffs got moved up a bit so not sure I will be much help to them if my guests don’t leave until 11:00.  I had warned the person that asked me to help I might not be able to be there until noon.  Sometimes my work gets in the way of life! I still have trouble remembering this is work though.  It is so easy to have people stay here I forget I get paid for it.  I have trouble remembering to collect from my long-term boarders now.  They feel more like family and it feels weird to charge them for staying here.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for Wednesday, Thursday or Friday other than normal guest chores.  I will be gone both Saturday and Sunday though so it will be good for me to have three empty space days.

I will either get out and mow tonight or take a long walk.  If I don’t mow tonight I will need to do it in the morning.  I want to get it done before the rains start.  I also need to get the chicken coop cleaned out.  I try to do that around the first of each month.

Took a three-mile walk last night.  It seemed to take a long time to walk it last night for some reason.  First time that has happened since I starting walking again.  I think I was just still very tired from the weekend.  I had intended to add some distance to my walk last night but only ended up walking to W Road on 240.  Didn’t go any further than I had the last time I had walked.  I’ll see how it goes tonight if I walk tonight instead of mowing.  Sure feels good to be out moving my body again

Time to get dinner started.  Sure feels good to be back on plan and eating my regular foods.  My energy level stays much more level when I eat at home instead of eating out.

Grateful for the sleep I got this afternoon, grateful for the guy I am having fun with, and grateful for the leader of the Spirit Plant Retreat and all the releasing that retreat allowed me to do.

 

 

Finally got some sleep last night.  I was up between 2:00 and 4:00 but slept both before and after.  Got up early enough to watch the sunrise this morning – it was beautiful.

Started laundry last night and am finally finished with it.  Got the two beds made up and the rooms cleaned for the guests coming tonight.  Still need to do the main floor but that may wait for another day or two. I work for a bit today and then rest for a bit.  My rest periods are getting longer than my work periods though.  May take a nap.

Not much more I have to get done before the guests arrive this afternoon.  Still need to swish some toilets and mop one more floor downstairs.  That won’t take long.  Feels good to get the house back into order.  I feel like I have been running behind for the last several days.  Not caught up yet but getting close.

Tomorrow morning I have to go to town to close on the new investment property I am buying.  I need some groceries and decided to wait until I go to town tomorrow to get them.  That way I can stay home all day today and reground myself.  I have some where I need to go Tuesday too but then I should be able to stay home for several days in a row.

Noticed I will need to mow again this week sometime.  May go out this afternoon and get that done.  I need to get outside and move my body – mowing does that for me.  I have to stay inside though until I get the house ready for the guests that are coming this afternoon.

The guy I have been texting with sent me a video he made for me of him lip syncing to a song.  His facial expressions were priceless!  Talk about romantic!  How fun is that?  Trying to think of something I can do to send him but am stumped.  Hard to beat what he did.  So far this guy has possibilities – I’ll see where it goes.

Only have one thing left of my list of things I wanted to get for my trip to Australia.  I think I can find what I need in Emporia when I have time to go shopping.  Just need a pair of shoes to wear with the dresses I bought.  I can always use my flip-flops if I can’t find what I am looking for.  The problem is I’m not sure what I am looking for.  Guess I’ll know if I see a pair.

Didn’t gain or lose weight while I was in KC.  I expected to gain as I didn’t get to walk either Friday or Saturday.  I ate pretty much on plan but when I eat away from home I never know for sure.

It is a cloudy, windy day on the prairie.  Looks like Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday will get warm again before a cold front comes through on Thursday bringing some good chances of rain for the next five or six days.  I’ll have to get my mowing done by Wednesday.

I am feeling the effects of all the change that is happening.  Feels like even more big changes are coming my way.  Doing my best to ground into the present moment and stay out of resistance to change.  Adding a dose of fun into my life right now is helping with that.  It is easier for me to surrender and accept change when I can keep my mood light and playful.  Still in my observer role.

My mentor helped me understand my next growth will come as I learn how to redefine “we” in my life.  I have had to be independent for so long that I forget sometimes about “we”.  I’m not just talking about allowing a man in my life – it shows up in many other areas of my life too.  Feels like this will be a big shift for me. I keep reminding myself there is nothing I have to do to make it happen other than giving it some of my intention and time each day.  Then I have to stay out-of-the-way and allow it to come in.  Another old habit of mine to break open the range on.  Love when I discover and can name them – makes it easier for me to accept and change them when I can do that.

Grateful for all the fun that is showing up in my life these days, grateful for all the change happening around me and the life lessons it brings me, and grateful for all the “we” people in my life and those that are still coming in.

I am home from being in KC overnight to attend a class with my mentor.  I am exhausted after being in the city energy for over 24 hours.  I got some shopping done Friday afternoon and Saturday morning.  Hopefully I won’t have to go back to the city for a bit.  Found a few dresses and skirts to take to Australia.  Found two sweaters and a cute jacket.  Still need a pair of shoes to wear with the dresses and my list will be complete.  I wore the new Birkenstocks boots I had gotten earlier this week.  They are very comfortable and haven’t hurt my feet.

The class was good – I am embarrassed to say I fell asleep during class this morning.  I didn’t sleep much last night.  Finally took a hot bath around 2:00 and got warmed up.  That helped me fall asleep around 3:00.  Woke up before 6:00 – there was a dog in the room next to mine that was barking and a car alarm going off in the parking lot.  I missed my quiet corner of the prairie!

Not sure yet what I learned in class.  Guess if I had stayed awake I would have learned more!  Some day soon I will have an experience and realize I reacted differently than I did before and that is when I will know what I learned.

It is always fun to get to visit with the other people in the class and touch base with them.  Some I hadn’t seen for a bit.  One of the women in the group has the exact same pair of glasses that I have.  What are the chances of that happening?  We are a true tribe!

I have been texting another guy I met through Match.  He has been fun to text with.  Not sure where it is headed but I am having more fun with all of this than I have had in a long time.

Am working on getting the house ready for the guests that are coming in tomorrow.  Found out one of my long-term boarders got transferred to his new site starting Monday so he won’t be back for now.  There is a chance he will come back to this project again though.  Still have several loads of laundry to do but have it started.  Ran a load of dishes and need to clean three bedrooms and two bathrooms tomorrow morning.  Also will need to clean the guest coffee-room and the upstairs living room and kitchen floors.  Not sure what time the guests will be here so will need to get at the cleaning first thing in the morning so the house is ready whenever they get here.

Grateful my guest did my chores for me while I was gone, grateful Kathy arrived safely in Kentucky, and grateful to be back home on my quiet prairie.

I drove to Manhattan today to visit some dear friends.  I was going to do an errand for a friend in Manhattan but turns out my help wasn’t needed.  I went ahead and drove over anyways and had a great visit with my friends.

I was low on gas and forgot to stop in Manhattan to get some.  I almost turned around and went back to get some but decided to try it.  When I hit the lake north of Council Grove my gas gauge started flashing and it showed I had 0 miles of range left.  I called on every guardian angel around me to help me get to the gas station.  It worked and I made it.  I put 7.954 gallons of gas in my car.  I have an 8 gallon tank.  Cut it way too close for my comfort.

Some friends organized a farewell dinner for Kathy this evening.  We went in at 5:00 and didn’t get home until 8:00.  It was a fun event filled with lots of laughter and friendship.  Kathy touched a lot of people in Chase County while she was here and will be greatly missed.  My guys staying with me came and joined in the fun.  They made some new friends by the time the evening was over.

Tomorrow morning I am going to KC.  I told Nicole I would be there around 10:00.  I need to get myself organized and things pulled together yet.  I have a list so hopefully I won’t forget anything.  Only staying one night so won’t need many clothes.

I didn’t get to take my walk today as we got home after dark.  Doubt I get to take a walk tomorrow or Saturday either.  Next week looks promising though as I don’t have a lot going on.  I will need to do some housecleaning Sunday morning as I have guests coming in Sunday late afternoon.

Grateful for dear friends and the richness they add to my life, grateful for the friends that showed up to support Kathy tonight, and grateful for my guardian angels helping me not run out of gas.

Went into Emporia this morning to get my tires rotated.  I timed it perfectly at the tire store as I was only there five minutes.  Quick service today!

Went to the shoe store and got a pair of sandals to take to Australia.  I also got a pair of Birkenstock low boots for everyday use this winter.  It is fun to buy cute shoes now that my feet don’t require I only wear SAS shoes.  Still need to get a pair of slip on lined slippers of some sort to wear around the house for the winter.  I found a pair in the LL Bean catalog I may order – concerned if they are wide enough and I hate returning on-line stuff.

One of my long-term guests checked out early this week as her classes were cancelled for Friday.  I have her sheets washed so need to get her bed made and her room cleaned.  No rush as she won’t be back until Monday.  I do have two guests coming in Sunday afternoon so will need to get a room cleaned for them when I get home Saturday evening.  I will put them in Kathy’s old room.  Kathy cleaned her room yesterday so I shouldn’t have much to do to get it ready for the guests.

Haven’t heard yet when one of the long-term guests is leaving for good.  He is to be transferred to a different work site soon but he hasn’t found out when yet.  When he leaves I will transfer the student to the room down the hall and keep the other two rooms that has a bathroom between them for my Airbnb guests.

While I was in town I picked up veggies to take to KC to oven roast for the pot luck dinner we are having Friday evening.  I will make a meat loaf and take it to bake too.  I will have the veggies all cut up and the meat loaf in a pan so all I will need to do is throw them in the oven.  That way I will have what I need to eat that night.  Both things are easy to throw in the oven and then serve.  I hate to ask my hostess to bake them though as when you are hosting the last thing you need is to have a guest cooking at the last-minute.  I was going to cook the stuff at Nicole’s house until I remembered her oven is broken.

Remembered to transfer funds to pay for the new rental property I am closing on October 1.  My business partner called yesterday to tell me the sellers agreed to my request and we are good to go.  I do need to call the bank back today as I’m not sure they handled the transfer correctly and I am on a tight deadline as I need the funds available next Monday for close.  Hopefully the person did it correctly but it doesn’t appear like she did on my account statement.  This is the one disadvantage to using an exclusive on-line bank – I can’t just go in the bank and get a cashier’s check directly from them.  I”m sure it will all work out OK – it usually does.

Nothing new in the dating world.  I sent a few messages to several different guys – most haven’t been read yet.  I can’t tell if accounts are new and used or not.  Three have read my message but so far have chosen not to reply.  I have had several messages from people I wasn’t interested in and just block them and haven’t replied either.  Not sure city guys are interested in someone who lives in the country.  Not many country guys on the site!

I am getting a clearer picture in my head as to what I am looking for.  But I do get tired of window shopping!  I keep telling myself not to settle for just anyone.  I need to stay patient and if it is meant to be the right guy will come forward.  I’m really not in a hurry to find someone.

Nothing I need to get done the rest of the day.  May take a nap as I didn’t sleep very good again last night.  It sure was nice and cool during the night – love nights when the room gets cool with the windows open.  It was too windy to walk last night.

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning.  I think fall time has the prettiest sunrises and sunsets of the year.  Last night the sunset was pretty spectacular too.  Mother Nature sure knows how to paint!

Feeling more grounded and centered today than I have been.  Back into being the observer of my life and not so emotionally attached to the outcomes.  I like this space – when I can find it life feels like it has more grace and ease to it.  Don’t seem to be able to stay here for long but am grateful for when it shows up for however long it lasts.

Grateful for the beautiful art work of Mother Nature, grateful for foot surgery that was a success, and grateful for this space I find myself in today – may it continue to be available to me and may I live my life with grace and ease.

 

Kathy got home from town last night with two dear friends just as the full moon was rising.  The four of us sat out and watched it come up and light up the night sky.  I love full moon nights and especially like to share watching the moon rise with dear friends.

Yesterday turned into a wonderful day.  I got 10 hugs during the day.  Not sure why everyone gave hugs yesterday but I am grateful they did!  I love giving and receiving hugs.

Did my morning chores and am finishing up the laundry.  Today is trash day so gathered all the extra trash around the house so I can take it down this evening.

It is a cloudy day on the prairie today but no chance of rain.  I only like cloudy days if they bring rain.  Seems a waste to have a cloudy day without rain though.  Blue skies are to return Thursday.

Nice to get my freezer full of hamburger again.  I’ll have to set some out to thaw and see how good it is.  Trusting it will be as good as the last bunch I got from my local rancher.

I didn’t sleep very good last night.  Couldn’t fall asleep and if I fell asleep I didn’t sleep for very long before I would wake up again.  May need to take a nap today.

Need to go into town and get my tires rotated.  Hate to make a trip to town just for that though.  Can’t think of anything else I need to do in town though.  Would like to get the tires rotated before I go to KC Friday so may need to make a special trip in.

Made a list of the things I need to do before I leave Friday morning and things I want to take with me.  My long-term boarder will be around after all and has offered to do chores.  I let my friend that was coming to house sit know he would be here and offered her the option of coming or staying home.  Haven’t heard what she decided to do.

Had a lovely visit yesterday afternoon from a friend that is on the Bright Line Eating plan.  Interesting how we do the same thing so differently.  She is having good luck with it too – especially when she follows the plan closely.  For what ever reason I haven’t strayed too far off plan yet.  Trusting I can keep that up.

Decided to take a media break for a couple of days.  Most of what is going on doesn’t make sense to me anyways and it makes me angry to read it.  I need to step away from it and get myself grounded and centered.

Took a three-mile walk again last night.  Walked further than I had the night before and still haven’t hit my limit.  I am so surprised I can go as far as I have been going without getting tired or winded.  I’ll go even further tonight again.

I’m going to Manhattan Thursday to run an errand for a friend.  While I am there I will stop by to see two dear friends.  Love when I can get two goals accomplished with one effort.

Having one of those days where I can’t hold on to a thought long enough to act on it.  I feel a bit scattered and disoriented for some reason.  May just need a nap!

Grateful for all the hugs I received yesterday, grateful for the chance to watch the full harvest moon rise with my friends, and grateful for my body and how it allows me to move with ease.

 

 

My heart is heavy today.  The divide in this country feels very big to me today.  It still amazes me two people can hear the same story and come to such different understanding of what the truth is.  Where is the empathy and the willingness to at least be curious about the opposite view point?  A closed mind can only see their version of the truth – a pretty limited way to live life.  Fear must be keeping us from looking too deeply – if this might be true then what about that which leads to our own belief system falling apart.  I personally believe everyone should unpack their own belief system on a regular basis and see what one can unload.  Way too many of us don’t even really know why we believe what we do other than we always have.  Change is the only consistent thing there is!  Embrace it!

We are in a great period of change.  The way the system has been working doesn’t appear to be working any longer for many people.  With change comes fear.  With fear people dig deeper into their limited beliefs.  Wish I had a crystal ball and knew what the rest of the story will be.

It feels so overwhelming and impossible at times.  I have to keep reminding myself to anchor into love and take media breaks and shut out the chaos so I don’t become part of it.  My truth is love will prevail.  I do think the new structure will be very different then what we have now but I have trouble grasping what it might look like.  There is blame and shame on both sides of the divide.  Finger pointing and ignoring my part in it serves no one.  I have to keep examining my own heart and find those places where I add to the chaos of the world.  Not easy work but it is important work.

The days of top down, patriarch driven power are coming to an end.  Not soon enough in my opinion.  It is time for the matriarch power to rise and usher in the change that is coming.  Each of us (male and female) have the power within to help create that change.  But first we have to clear up our own shit and step into our own personal power that is rooted in love – not fear.

I try not to bring these kind of issues into my blog as I don’t feel very qualified to speak of the world issues.  Needed to vent and release some pent-up frustration and energy today.  Scroll on by my blog if you disagree.  Not looking to debate or argue with anyone.  Just expressing my personal feelings for today – knowing my understanding and beliefs may change and be different tomorrow.

OK, enough of my soap box.  I will resume my regular life now!

Went into Emporia this morning to meet with my property manager.  The inspections were done on the property I am attempting to buy.  There are two major issues with the house and we needed to decide on how to proceed.  Still may need to walk away from this deal if the seller doesn’t agree to work with me.  I’ll see what happens.  Grateful I have a property manager that I trust and looks out for my best interest.

I took a three-mile walk last night around sunset.  The almost full moon came up while I was out on my walk.  The temperature was perfect for taking a long walk and the insects were singing their good night songs.  I could have walked longer as I never did get tired or winded.  Next time I will go further and see what my limits are – haven’t reached them yet.  That feels good!  I haven’t been walking much lately and am a bit surprised I can go that far without feeling it.  I want to get in good shape for Australia and New Zealand as I’m sure we will be walking lots there.  Sure am in a better place now than I was when I went to Italy in May.  That last 23 pounds I took off must have made a difference for me.

Have lots of empty space for the next four days.  Anyone need help with anything?  I’m available!

No news on the dating scene.  Found a couple of guys I am interested in talking to but they haven’t responded.  I probably need to send them a message but am not sure I am comfortable with that yet.  This all still feels a bit weird to me.  I keep hearing stories about how it worked for others so will hang in there and see what happens.  Good things take time – right?

My lineman will be home this afternoon.  I look forward to seeing him – I have missed having him around.  I do not want to think about what it will be like when their project is over and he moves on. My other lineman may be transferred very soon – I will miss him too.  Feels like sending my kids out in to the world all over again.

Cloudy day today.  The sun must have needed a vacation again.  It misted on me on the way home from town this morning.  The forecast isn’t calling for rain though.  I liked the bright blue skies of yesterday better.  Hope the clouds disappear before it is time for the full moon to rise tonight.  It is to be a big harvest moon and I would love to watch it come up.

Grateful for love and all the possibilities it brings to this world, grateful for my property manager and the way he looks after me, and grateful for my guests that have become family.

 

 

Went to see ET at the Strong City Opera House last night.  I love that movie!  I still cry when I watch it. They had a nice crowd there.  There was a little girl about 3 that kept saying out loud “Oh no” or other comments.  She was so cute and expressive.

Got 7 more jars of apple butter canned today.  My apples are all worked up.  Good to have that project done.  I don’t think I will make any more as I have 36 jars of peach jam to give away too.  Nice to have a bunch of Christmas gifts ready to go.

It is another beautiful fall day in KS today.  No wind, mid 70’s, bright blue skies – doesn’t get much better than this in KS.

I got my laundry done today and a bed made.  Don’t have anything else I have to get done today.  My lineman is on his way home.  He will get in sometime tomorrow afternoon.  Not sure what their plans will be for the rest of the week.  Flexibility is a key word around here.

I’ll need to go to town tomorrow to get some groceries.  May try to find some good Jonathan apples to have some to fry.  The ones I picked weren’t good enough for that.    The apple butter seemed runny but maybe it will set up more when I chill it.  Not sure I have had apples do that before.  Hope it tastes OK.

Have lots of empty space on my calendar for next week.  Monday I am getting some locally raised beef delivered directly to me from a local rancher.  I was out of hamburger so am happy I will have some back in the freezer.  I don’t like store-bought hamburger.  Tuesday and Wednesday my calendar is empty!  Thursday evening is Kathy’s farewell dinner some friends are doing for her.  Friday I am going to KC for class and won’t be home until Saturday evening.  Sunday I have some new guests coming in for two nights.  Kathy is leaving Friday morning for KY.

Can’t believe it is almost the end of September already.  Christmas will be here before I know it.  Only 5 1/2 weeks before I go to Australia and New Zealand.  Time sure seems to have sped up lately.

I was feeling really discouraged about the Match situation last night and got to thinking about Bright Lines.  On this plan I often would go two to three weeks without losing any weight and then would lose three to five pounds rather quickly.  I had decided at the beginning to trust the plan and not let the time when I wasn’t losing weight throw me off plan.  I’m thinking Match will be like that too.  I need to trust that when the timing is right the right person will come along.  Another life lesson for me in patience!  When I let go of the details and focus on the big picture great things can happen if I stay out-of-the-way.

Grateful the apples are now apple butter, grateful for empty space this week, and grateful for life lessons!

Went into Emporia to get feed, oats and sunflower seeds for the chickens at Bluestem this morning.  Usually Bluestem is full of men on Saturday morning so was shopping for a single cowboy too.  Didn’t find a cowboy but found a helpful clerk that loaded my flat cart and pushed it to the car and unloaded it for me.

Stopped and got a few groceries and then decided to stop by the kids and see the grandkids.  They decided to come home with me.  Good thing I brought them as their mom got called in to work this afternoon.

They have been eating non-stop since they got here.  Ellexia fixed them both some scrambled eggs, they ate a can of Pringles, a bag of popcorn and apples with peanut butter.  Betting they will be hungry again in two hours or so.  I should have picked up a few more things at the grocery store.

ET is showing at the Strong City theatre this evening.  Not sure if the grandkids are going with me or if they will want to go home before that.  They decided not to spend the night as Tagen wants to watch football tomorrow and I don’t have a TV.

Need to think of something fun we can do together this afternoon.  When they get bored they seem to find trouble – or it finds them!  It is a beautiful fall day out today so we may go take a long walk.

As I was typing I remembered the free tour bus ride at the Tallgrass Prairie Preserve so we hurried over and took the ride.  The bison were up close to the road today so we got a good view of them.  The kids enjoyed the ride although I think they were glad when it ended.  It is so nice out today it was good to get out and enjoy the day.

We stopped at Subway on the way home for a snack.  It had been two hours since they had eaten and they were starving.  I forget how much they can eat.

They have decided to go home this afternoon.  Michelle is at work and Tim gets home at 4:00 so I will take them to him then.  They have been a nice diversion for me today.  Glad I stopped to pick them up.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow.  I’ll need to do some normal chores but will have the rest of the day free.  It is to be nice again tomorrow so want to come up with something fun to do.

Grateful for the chance to see the bison up close and personal today, grateful for my grandchildren, and grateful for this beautiful fall day.

 

Quiet day at home.  Have the house to myself this afternoon.  I am enjoying the peace and quiet.

Made 6 jars of apple butter this morning. Have enough apples for one more batch.  The apples sure had a lot of bugs in them I had to cut around.  They are very small this year due to the drought this spring.  Didn’t taste the apple butter – trusting it will be good.  Love hearing the jars seal – that is the best part of canning.

Have a bedroom and bathroom I need to get cleaned today sometime. I have the sheets in the washer now.  Got the other bedroom cleaned last night.  The wife of my long-term boarder will be coming in this evening and will be here until next Wednesday.

I had a request from someone who wanted to stay this weekend but they have two dogs with them.  I had to tell them I had let a guest bring a dog before and my dogs weren’t happy with that so I couldn’t accept her request to stay with the dogs.  Felt good to be able to turn that down.  Not worth the stress it puts on my dogs.

The guy from Canton text me last night and we went back and forth for a bit.  Not getting the feeling this is going to go anywhere but it is fun to text.  Did some more window shopping this morning.  It is getting easier for me to narrow the field down now as I am getting a more clear picture in my head as to what I am looking for.  Mr. Right is out there – somewhere – I’m sure he will appear when the timing is best for both of us.  Maybe not through Match but at least Match is helping me get clear as to what I am looking for.

A week from today Kathy will be on her way to KY.  She will leave a big hole behind her when she leaves.  I trust this adventure is exactly what she is looking for.

Got up during the night and opened the windows and turned off the A/C.  I love the smell of rain.  The wind blew hard off and on during the night.  Had to mop up some water around a window during the night.  Only had .3 inches in my rain gauge.

I have a long sleeve shirt on today and need to go put some socks on as my feet are cold.  What a change from yesterday’s heat.  Gotta love Kansas and our ever-changing weather.

I fell into the muck pond for a bit yesterday.  I was totally drained after our ceremony – not sure why.  I have been getting the message it is time to do something different around our ceremonies but not sure what that is yet.  Maybe the drained feeling was related to that?  I need to check with the others that were there and make sure they didn’t leave feeling drained too.  I took a long walk last night and it helped clear the icky feeling out.  The wind was blowing and it felt like it was reaching in and clearing out the dark stuff for me.  Felt back to my regular self this morning although I am still a bit tired and a bit empty.  It is a good day to have the house to myself this afternoon so I can refill.

Grateful the first batch of apple butter is in the jars and all jars sealed, grateful for the cooler fall temperatures, and grateful I was able to climb out of the muck pond easily.

Had a beautiful Fall Equinox Ceremony this morning. I used a chapter from the book “The Afterlife of Billie Fingers” as the base of our ceremony today.  One of the quotes is “Don’t overlook the riches contained in the darkness”,  As we identified those things we do that cause shadows I had to think how I would not be the person I am today if didn’t have those traits.  When one can use those traits to help themselves you can bring them out of the shadows and into the light.  Everything we are is on a range – if we can quit labeling one side as good and the other side bad but see them as a range we can choose to operate from our lives become much more rich.

I took a nap after lunch.  For some reason I felt very drained after the ceremony and needed to rest.  I feel much better now!  A friend had posted a picture of the sheet music from “It is Well With My Soul” on Facebook the other day and I keep singing that song to myself this afternoon..

The guy from Canton didn’t text me last night but he sent me a good morning text mid-morning.  I sent a reply but haven’t heard any more from him.  Another guy from Independence KS sent me a message – he is only 47 so I ignored his message for two reasons – one is that he is from Independence KS which is where other guys on that site are from and none of the ones I have talked to from Independence, KS were legit and two he is too young.  The guy I visited with yesterday sent a short thank you message and I replied to it.

I have a completely free weekend coming up.  A friend I buy beef from is to deliver some hamburger to me sometime this weekend but other than that I am free.  I will only have one guest this weekend and she is the wife of one of the long-termed boarders and won’t need my time and attention.

The wind is blowing in a cold front today.  Over 90 out today and only going to be in the mid 70’s or lower for the next week.  Bring on the cool temperatures!

Got most of my mowing done yesterday.  Still need to mow the ditches by the driveway.  I ran out of daylight and had to stop last night.  I’ll finish it this evening when it cools down a bit.

I’ll only have one guest tonight as the other one drove home to see her boyfriend.  This has been a slower week for guests.  I needed the break so have cherished the quiet moments I have found this week.

Decided to take a short break from the news media.  My soul feels a bit battered and bruised right now and the news isn’t serving me well right now.  I’ll check back in on it when I am more grounded and centered.

May get some apple butter made yet today.  I need to get the apples worked up as several of them have bad spots on them and if I don’t get them worked up soon I won’t be able to salvage them.

Need to think of something fun to do this weekend.  I have too much empty space ahead of me and am feeling a bit restless as a result.

Not one of my better days – knowing it will be better by tomorrow.  Felt like I needed a day to catch up to all the changes happening around me.  I needed to slow down and let all my parts catch up.

Grateful for Fall Equinox and the life lessons it provides, grateful for naps that refresh my soul and body, and grateful for friends that add spice to my life.

 

 

Another day – another Match experience.  This guy was very nice – just not my type.  We visited for a bit and then went and picked apples at the Orchard.  He had never picked apples before.  It was a nice activity to do together.  Came back to my house and visited some more.  I was glad when he left though.  He did give me a nice hug.  I think he could tell we weren’t going to go any further.  He said he had brought some stuff to loan me but never brought it in.  If he does contact me again I’ll have to tell him I can be his friend but have no interest in anything further.

At least this time the guy seems to be who he represented himself to be.  I don’t mind a strike when the chemistry is missing.  I don’t like strikes when integrity is on the line.  I also learned it is easier to tell if you are a match if you meet in person.  Texting and phone calls only take you so far.  Two strikes, two dates, zero potential is the running score at this point.

I’m glad I went to get apples as they are almost all gone off the trees.  The apples are really small this year and had lots of bugs in them.  The Orchard is not in good shape this year.  I hope the present owner can find a buyer for it that can bring it back to a pristine condition.

Last night a guy from Canton liked me and we texted back and forth for a bit.  He text me again early this morning and again mid-morning.  He has potential although he is a bit younger than I am.  That won’t bother me if it doesn’t bother him!

Ordered a dress and a swim suit from Land’s End.  The dress is way too big and it is a size 2.  I think it must be mis-marked as it fit more like a 10 would fit.  Maybe it is just the shape of the dress but I am going to have to send it back.  I’ll try the swimsuit on later.

Tomorrow some friends are coming over in the morning so we can celebrate Fall Equinox together.  I’ll need to figure out how we want to do that yet tonight.  I have my inspiration piece to pull from so it should come together rather quickly for me.  I meant to get some flowers for the ceremony when I was in town this morning but I forgot.  I’m too tired to go in tonight to get some.  We will manage without.

Yesterday one of my teachers did a live cam on Facebook.  She reads your energy and gives you feedback on questions you ask her.  I trust her insight so I commented that I was thinking about starting a new relationship and ask her if she thought I was ready.  Her answer was a very excited and definite YES.  She did say to take my time and hold my center and not settle for anything other than exactly what I want.  She said he is out there – I jut have to sort through the pile to find him. She also reminded me I don’t need a man in my life – I am strong enough to handle whatever without a man.  However, she said a man would bring a deeper enrichment to my life that she could feel I was craving.

So onward and upward in sorting through the pile of men that seems to be on Match.  I’ll keep looking.  I do need to spend a few minutes everyday getting really clear in my own head exactly what I am looking for so that the universe knows what I want and can help make it happen.  Meeting this guy today helped me understand what I didn’t want – sometimes that opens the path for what I do want.

Oh the wonderful world of on-line dating.  Still not sure this is the right path for me to find my guy but until something better shows up I guess I will keep using this method.  At least I get to go shopping from my own house!

My new garage doors got put on this afternoon.  The guys that installed them told me I would really notice a difference.  I ask them if they wanted to bet on that.   I have to confess things like that don’t hit my radar screen.  If they go up and down like they are supposed to that is all I notice.

Only got 6 eggs from the girls today – the slackers.  I am ready to cut out their daily greens if they don’t start producing better.  Not sure if they are getting ready for their annual molt or are slowing down as the days are getting shorter.  They aren’t earning their keep!

Got most of the mowing done last night and need to get out and finish up the last section tonight.  It was another easy mow as I could tell where I had mowed.  There might be enough daylight left for me to get it done if I get going.

Grateful for the hug I got today from my match guy, grateful the apples are picked and ready for me to turn them into apple butter, and grateful the garage door project is completed.

This morning was a quiet morning at home.  I got caught up on my own personal laundry and did some house cleaning chores.  I got more sleep than I have been getting last night.  May need to take a nap this afternoon as I am struggling to keep my eyes open.  The more sleep I get – the more I want.

Took a friend to her doctor’s appointment in Emporia this afternoon.  It was fun to spend a bit of time with her on the trip into town and back again.  Her doctor was running on time and her appointment didn’t take very long.  Feels good to have been in service this afternoon.

In the mid 90’s again today – trusting this will be the last blast of summer heat for the year.  I don’t like winter but I am ready for some cooler temperatures.  There is a cold front coming in on Friday that is going to hang around for a bit.  I welcome it.  I am ready for long-sleeve shirt and hoodies weather.

Tomorrow the guy from McPherson is coming to meet me.  I think I will see if he wants to go pick apples with me while we are spending time together.  I want to get a box full of Jonathan apples picked so I can make apple butter.  Might be something fun for us to do together instead of just sitting and talking.  We can talk while we pick apples.

I will have two guests tonight.  Both will be here around 7:00.  I have missed my other long-term boarder as he is in NC working the hurricane storm damage and helping get the power restored in that area.  Haven’t heard if and when he will be coming back.  His wife will be staying this weekend with me as she is working in Topeka.

Found a house sitter for the night in September that I needed one for.  I am going to KC for a class with my mentor and wanted to spend the night so I didn’t have to drive to and from KC two days in a row.  A dear friend volunteered to come spend the night for me.  She loves my dogs and chickens and will enjoy a quiet day on the prairie.  So grateful for her loving presence in my life.

I will need to go to town tomorrow morning for some groceries again.  Almost time to get more chicken feed, oats and sunflower seeds.  I think I spend more on critter food than I do my own groceries these days. The chickens have not been producing very well lately.  I may cut out their treats if they don’t get down to business.  I don’t tolerate slackers around here.

My head is quiet and empty today.  One of those days  I can’t hold on to a thought long enough to remember to do something.  My get up and go got up and left me behind today.  I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything today. The yard needs mowed but it is too hot to mow right now.  Maybe when it cools down this evening I will get out and get part of it done and then finish it up in the morning.

My bed is calling to me – I think I will give up and go take a nap.

Grateful for my friend that will house sit for me, grateful my friend allowed me to take her to her appointment, and grateful I can take a nap whenever I choose to.

 

I am exhausted!  I didn’t sleep again last night much.  My feet ached most of the night for some strange reason.  I took some Tylenol but it didn’t seem to help much.  Woke up from a short sleep feeling hung-over.  Hate when that happens.

My A/C quit working last night.  I heard it click on and then click off over and over again.  Turned it off and opened the windows.  At least it was nice and cool last night.  Called the service company first thing this morning.  A guy showed up around 9:45.  The blower unit was plugged into a surge protector and the surge protector had gone bad.  I had another surge protector on hand so the guy switched it out and my A/C works now.  That was easy (but expensive).  It was nice to come home this afternoon to a cool house.  He had set the thermostat on 74 so the house was cooler than I normally keep it.

Kathy and I drove to Wichita today to visit our Aunt Marylyn.  She treated us to lunch and her daughter Joni joined us for lunch.  What a delightful day we had.  Highway 50 is under road construction near Newton and we got detoured around so it took longer to get there than normal.  So glad we went to see her.  I will cherish this memory!

One of my long-term boarders ask if I wanted to ride along with him to Lehigh tonight on an errand he needed to do.  I went with him – we had a delightful conversation.  He was raised in Lehigh – the town where my father was raised.  He showed me where one of my grandmother’s brother lived on the old Jost family homestead.  My dad had carved a picture of the barn that is still standing on the property.  It was a nice adventure to end my day with.

While I was on that adventure another match guy sent a message to me and we texted back and forth for a bit.  Not sure he represented himself honestly on the site and his profile is now down.  I’ll see if this one goes anywhere.

Had a message from the guy from McPherson when I got home.  We are meeting Wednesday for a face-to-face.  He is sounding way too eager – may have to tell him to back off a bit.  I don’t want to hurt anyone but I am not going to be rushed into a relationship either.  At least this one I will get to see face to face sooner rather than later so I can see if there are any sparks.  Didn’t feel any sparks over the phone last night when we talked.  I’ll keep an open mind though and see how it is when we are having a face-to-face conversation.

Tomorrow I am taking a friend to her doctor’s appointment in the afternoon.  Wednesday the match guy and I are meeting and Thursday some friends are coming over in the morning.  Guess I filled in my week!  So much for a week full of empty space.  Love when my calendar gets filled in though.

I am ready for bed!  I haven’t slept well for almost two weeks – trusting tonight will be the night I will crash  and sleep for several hours in a row – and maybe more.

Grateful for my Aunt Marylyn and the love she shared with me today, grateful for a service guy that quickly fixed my A/C today, and grateful for the possibilities that are coming my way and the life lessons they bring with them.

 

Kathy and I went to see “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” at the Granada last night.  It is a  documentary about the life of Mr. Rogers.  What a wonderful movie!  I fell in love with Mr. Rogers all over again.  The world needs more people like him.

The Granada had a special door prize drawing to celebrate being neighbors.  I won it!  I got $100 of gift certificates to the Granada Coffee Company, $100 of gift certificates to the Sweet Granada and the use of the Granada Theatre for a private movie showing for 20 people.  What a nice surprise!  I’ll have to think of a movie that  I want to see on the big screen and find 19 people to come see it with me.

Got my bathroom detailed cleaned this morning.  I always leave my bedroom and bathroom to do last and it must have been a bit since I cleaned it as I found lots of dirt this morning.  I’ll finish my bedroom in a bit.  I washed my sheets and rugs this morning.  It will be nice to climb into a freshly made bed and a clean bedroom tonight.

Art Day is at Prairie Past Times this afternoon.  I plan on going in for a bit.  Need to remember to take a pillow to sit on.  The chairs feel hard after a bit.  One disadvantage of having lost weight is I don’t have much padding left on my ass.  I am finding bones I had forgotten I had.

Sure have enjoyed having no guests this weekend.  It has been nice not to have to refresh or flip rooms today.  The house feels big and empty though without my guests here.

One of the two guys that I was Match messaging profile is no longer available.  Not sure if he was hacked or if his subscription ran out and he didn’t renew.  He had a funny first name which made me a bit suspicious of him anyways.  Still talking to the other one.  He was busy last night and today and is to get back in touch with me later tonight or sometime tomorrow.  I’ll see where this one goes.  I don’t know his last name yet but at least his phone number tracked to McPherson.  Who knew one needed to have a security check run on the guys you meet on Match.com.  Not in my nature to be suspicious of others unless they give me reason to do so.  Not sure I like having to be so careful.

I need to get a house sitter for the night of September 28.  I have to go to KC for one night as my mentor will be in town and teaching a class.  Anyone want to come out for the night?  You can stay all weekend if you want.  I’ll be home Saturday evening some time.  Kathy is leaving that Friday morning for KY and I’m not sure if my long-term guy will be back from helping restore power in NC.  Sounds like he may be in NC for a bit.  I need a back-up plan just in case he doesn’t make it back.

My life would be simpler if I didn’t have my critters to care for.  It would also be less fun!  I do enjoy my critters and the smiles they bring to me daily.  Their needs are so simple and they give me so much unconditional love in return.

I subscribe to lots of positive groups on Facebook that post a little motivational message everyday.  Today several of them posted about change.  I have noticed more than the normal amount of change happening around me lately.  The messages were a good reminder to myself to embrace change and to check in with my body occasionally to make sure I am not holding some resistance to it somewhere unconsciously.  Fall reminds us how beautiful change can be as we watch the leaves turn colors and drop off.  Letting go of old habits and stuff allows room for new things to come in.  Change is in the air!  May it come with ease and grace for all of us.

Grateful for winning the prize package last night – party time!  Grateful for Mr. Rogers and the lessons he had for all of us during his lifetime and beyond, and grateful for change in what ever form it presents itself in my life.

 

Ellexia came out late morning to play.  I fixed her bacon and blueberry pancakes while she scrambled herself some eggs.  After she ate we went to the park in Strong City for a bit to play.  The equipment was hot and there were lots of mosquitoes so we came home after 30 minutes.

I had lunch when we got home and Ellexia found some “real” music to play on the Sonos system.  She is bored and wants to do something fun but everything I think of she says no to – she doesn’t want to dust, vacuum, clean toilets, or do dishes.  Wonder why she says no?  LOL!

This evening I am going to the Granada to watch the new movie about the life of Mr. Rogers.  I love that man and all that he stood for.  I rarely go to movies but I did want to see this one.

Not sure what Ellexia and I will find to do this afternoon.  I broke down and turned the A/C back on as it is to get to the low 90’s today.  It will cool back down mid-week next week and I can turn it back off then.  I don’t like hot weather!

Two different guys from Match sent me messages this morning.  One is from Goessel and one is from McPherson.  I’ll see where this goes with them – not sure about either of them yet.  One wants my email address and phone number – I sent him my Starry Night business email address that doesn’t have my name in it.  I didn’t give him my phone number yet.  He hasn’t given me his last name or phone number yet.  Learning to be cautious and not so open with my private information.  Feels weird to be like that though.

Nothing I need to get done today – I got my cleaning all done yesterday.  I am really enjoying not having guests in the house for the weekend.  Kathy is gone today with some friends so the house is all mine today.  It has been a while since I had the house totally to myself for a whole day.  I’m glad I have guests returning next week though as I enjoy our conversations in the evenings.

Have too much empty space on my calendar the next two weeks.  Need to find something to do with myself for one or two days a week.  I love having empty space but recognize I can get too much of it.  I only have one thing on my calendar next week besides the normal Airbnb hosting chores.  Way too much empty space for my own good!

I have had a habit of isolating myself at times and really need to find interesting things to do so I won’t do that.  It is hard for me to leave the house sometimes.  If I make a commitment to do something in advance it makes it easier for me to make myself leave the house.

I went to the music jam last night.  I really do enjoy listening to it.  There was a visitor from IL their last night – he was really good and sang some funny songs.

Grateful for having Ellexia’s company today, grateful for new possibilities on Match, and grateful it is time for me to play!

 

 

Happy birthday to my oldest daughter Michelle.  She has turned into a very beautiful woman.  It is a joy to watch her be a mother to her two children and a wife to her devoted husband.  I love her to the moon and back!  I still remember the day she was born and how delighted I was with her.  She was a beautiful baby with a head full of reddish hair and bright blue eyes.  Her favorite time of the day was in the middle of the night – she didn’t sleep through the night until she was over a year old.

Found the words to send a break-up email to the KS match guy.  His story just didn’t add up to me anymore.  The business website he sent me didn’t check out on the spam advisor site.  I could find no evidence he lived where he said he did and his phone number was untraceable.  I no longer felt safe talking to him so I ended it.  I was going to let it play out a bit but that didn’t feel like I was acting in integrity so decided to end it.  I got a response from him via text and email at 4:30 this morning.  He was supposedly on a flight to London at that time.  Have they changed the rules and you can now text from a flight?  He was shocked and didn’t know what I was talking about.  Can’t say I was shocked he was shocked!  LOL!  Feels good to have ended that.

I went downstairs when I got up this morning to strip two beds and detail clean one of the rooms.  I have the laundry started and one of the bedrooms and bathrooms detailed cleaned.  Then I got a text from the guests that were coming this evening to check into that room.  They decided not to come.  I was relieved to get that text.  I need a full weekend with no guests in the house.  I checked my calendar and it was August 5 since I have not had a guest in the house overnight. I am overdue for a guest free weekend!

One of my long-term guests found out he is getting transferred to a different work place sometime soon.  He doesn’t have a date of transfer yet.  He is a nice guy and I will miss having him around.  I have enjoyed the conversations I have had with him in the evenings.

With Kathy leaving and one of the long-term guest leaving I will do a bedroom reshuffle.  I will leave open Kathy’s room and the bedroom next to it for my Airbnb guests.  I will move the Vo-Tech student to the room down the hall so she has a private bathroom.  This way if my guests have a party of three or more they will be together and share the bathroom. If it is only one or two they will have a private bathroom.  This should work better for all of us as I won’t have to flip a room quickly unless I have Airbnb guests checking in after another Airbnb guest leaves on the same day.  Not sure which room I will put the double bed in.  May leave it in the room it is in for the Airbnb guests.  Most of the time they would enjoy a double bed for two people.  I can always move it to the bedroom where I have the long-term guest and put the twin beds back in that room.  I’ll see what bookings I get.  I will open my calendar back up after both leave and see what happens.

May need to turn the A/C back on today.  Since I don’t have guests I can choose to leave it off.  Kathy enjoys it off more than when it is turned on.  I’ll see how hot it gets today.  At least at night it cools down nicely.

Went for over a two-mile walk last night.  I needed to get outside and move my body. I wasn’t tired when I got home so could have walked further.  I love the energy of fall time – it makes me want to get out and move my body.  The ditches are full of flowers right now from all the rain we had.  The grass on the hills is turning that beautiful autumn gold color.  You can feel the earth preparing itself for the cold weather that will be here soon.  Fall Equinox is next week – seems like it was only a month ago that we celebrated Summer Solstice.

My healing client got held up and didn’t make it for her healing yesterday.  We may try to reschedule for next week.

Need to check my grocery supply – I haven’t been to town for a couple of days.  Thinking I will need to run into town this afternoon and get a few things.

Still debating this whole on-line dating thing.  I have two strikes against it so far.  Guess I will keep going until I get three and then back off for a bit.  Surely there are some honest guys out there that aren’t from a foreign country.  I wouldn’t mind striking out if the chemistry wasn’t right – I just don’t like the feeling that they are being totally dishonest with me.  I will need to have a face to face right away from now on so I can get a better sense of who I am dealing with.  I will take it as a sign to run if they delay making that meeting happen.  Both these guys did that.

Felt good to find my voice last night and send the email breaking things off.  I know there is a chance I was wrong about both of them but I have to trust my gut.  I am pretty fearless most of the time but am learning things are not always what they seem to be in the world of on-line dating.  Better safe and alone than sorry!

Grateful for a guest free weekend coming up, grateful I listened to my gut and ended the back and forth, and grateful for a day to celebrate the birth and life of my daughter Michelle.

My repeat guest that was coming this weekend and bringing two of his friends with him had let me know he couldn’t come earlier this week.  He told me his friends might still want to stay and they were to call and let me know if they were coming.  I hadn’t heard from them so I opened the room to accept a booking on Airbnb.  They finally texted me this morning to let me know they are coming and asked for directions.  Good thing no one else booked!  They will be here Friday late afternoon and will be checking out Sunday morning.  So much for my free weekend!  They are disc golf players and I bet are wonderful guests if they are anything like the other disc golf players I have had stay in the past.  They will be out playing disc golf most of the day Saturday so won’t see them much.  I have some where to go Saturday evening so trusting I can leave them in the house alone.

Hand mopped the kitchen and pantry floors this morning.  Kathy ask if today was going to be a cleaning day – and I told her maybe.  Never know how long the cleaning mood will last.  At least I got a bit done so far today – hope to get some more cleaning done today but I never know if I can make myself do it or not until I do it.

Have a new healing client coming sometime late morning.  That part of my life is starting to open back up again.  Funny how it comes and goes – hadn’t done a healing for several months and now will be doing my third one in two weeks.  Trusting more clients will find their way to me as I really enjoy doing healing work.  Feel more healed myself and ready to help others again.

I have switched to a total observer mode with the match guy I have been talking to.  His story is starting to feel very fishy to me and the alarm bells are ringing loud and clear.  It is almost fun to watch him hang himself at this point.  Why do guys do this? What do they get out of it?  Kinda waiting for him to run into some financial problem in the UK on this trip he is supposed to be on and then he will send me a request for a quick loan.  Do I look stupid?

A guy that sent me a message last night which I answered and we chatted for a bit  has erased the conversation we had – he must have decided not to pursue.  Wish they had the guts to just say that instead of doing the blocking thing.  Sometimes men are just not worth the trouble!  Sure a lot of false promises out there.  Good thing I am not desperate or even sure I want a man around.  Certainly don’t want one full of trouble and lies.

Maybe I need to put on my profile I have a niece and nephew that are cops and anyone that wants to meet me has to agree to a background check by them.  Wish the match site would do some level of check to make sure people were who they pretend to be.

I do read each profile with a much more critical eye now.  If they are too good to be true they probably are.  Sure takes part of the fun out of the whole experience to have to be so cautious and careful.  Not my nature to not trust until I have reason not to but am reversing that on this site – I don’t believe what they say until they prove I can trust them.  Kinda starts things off on the wrong foot though.

Cloudy and foggy today.  Almost looks like it is misting but don’t think it is.  This humidity can go away again.  There is a nice breeze today.  It is to warm up the next couple of days into the mid to high 80’s.  May need to turn the A/C back on so the house is nice and cool for my lineman at night.

Need to go on-line and find a swimming suit to order to take to Australia.  I waited too long to buy one in the stores and couldn’t find anything in my size in stock.  Need to get one ordered so I have time to return it and get a different style and size if needed.  Still tend to try on things that are too big for me as I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I now am a size 4 – or even smaller.  I don’t see or feel that size yet.

Other than the healing and cleaning I have another day of empty space.  At least it doesn’t feel as heavy as it did yesterday.  Glad that didn’t last very long.  I went out walking for a bit yesterday and that helped moved the heavy energy out.

The last week or so the dogs have been going crazy and barking most of the night.  Sure wish I knew what was out there that they are protecting me from.  They sleep most of the day and go crazy at night.

Sitting and pondering this whole on-line dating thing.  Why am I drawn to the false people?  What is that trying to tell me about myself?  I believe everything happens for a reason and there is a lesson in it for me if I am willing to learn the lesson.  The quicker I learn the lesson the quicker things can change.  Is it just a sign that the on-line thing is not for me?  Lots to think about for sure.

Grateful for healing clients that find their way to me, grateful for life lessons and the things they teach me about myself, and grateful for my teachers and mentors that have taught me to question everything and look for deeper meaning in what shows up in my life.  It is all good – just not always easy!

 

 

I didn’t fall asleep until almost dawn this morning so slept in until 10:00.  Nighttime is my least favorite time of the day.  I hate nights when I lay awake all night and can’t sleep.

Got an email from my Kansas match guy this morning.  He was able to close his financial deal with the investors yesterday but now has to fly to the UK this evening to get the final contracts signed and delivered.  Our meeting for Saturday has to be postponed for at least two weeks.  Uhm…..  On-line dating is not for the faint of heart.

I’ll see what happens with all this.  Who knows if he is who he says he is and if we will ever meet.  He could be legit but he could also be a hoax.  Something has been holding me back with him and now I know why.  If it is meant to be it will happen – if not I move on.

In his email he also told me his mother has cancer and is not doing well.  He will take this opportunity while in the UK to visit her.  Wonder why he didn’t tell me that she was sick before?  He had mentioned her several times but never told me she was ill.

I am a very trusting person but this whole on-line thing is causing me to be a bit cautious and withholding until they prove to me they have earned my trust – which hasn’t happened yet.  I will keep an open mind and see if this one is a dead-end too like the one from CO.  It was starting to feel like he was a bit too good to be true!

I am getting tired of window shopping for men though.  I have had several that have liked me and I liked them but I haven’t initiated the beginning conversation and neither have they.  I guess I am a bit old-fashioned and want the man to do that.  I keep reminding myself I am perfectly content to living alone too.  If I am meant to have a partner he will find me somehow, someway.

The guests that had scheduled for this weekend cancelled so now I have a completely guest-free weekend ahead of me and no plans other than going to see “Won’t you be my Neighbor” at the Granada Saturday evening.  I haven’t had a weekend free of guests in several weeks.  Need to think of something fun to do.

Kathy got her official acceptance letter from the project she will be working with in Kentucky today.  She is to report either the 30th of September or the 1st of October.  It sure will be a change with her gone.  Glad I have guests during the week so I will have someone to talk to each day.  I’ll have to get back into the habit of doing all the chores everyday too.  I am ever so grateful she came to help me out and am excited that she is moving on to her own grand adventure.  The time we shared was priceless and I will treasure it always.

I got one bathroom and one bedroom detailed cleaned last night and this morning.  It is a start to getting the house back in order.  Have lots more to do but not feeling the urge to clean today.  It is another beautiful Kansas day and the doors and windows are open and fresh air and dust is blowing in.  Love this time of year!

Lots of empty space available to me again this week.  Feels a bit heavy to me today to settle into it.  When I don’t sleep good I have more trouble settling into a good space. Need to move my body today and see if I can work through this heaviness.  I don’t want it to settle in and get comfortable.

Grateful for my inner intuition that serves me well when I allow it to, grateful for getting two rooms detailed cleaned, and grateful for empty space and knowing how to make it more comfortable to settle into.

Last night one of my long-termers found out he had to head out to work the potential power outage that may be caused by the hurricane blowing in.  He left at 5:30 this morning for his staging area in Atlanta and is not sure when he will be back.  His wife had plans this week so she left early morning too.  She has to work in Topeka next week so she will be back the first of next week.  The other lineman had to stay behind and continue to work the contract job they are working on.

When I got up this morning I had another email from my match guy from KS.  Good thing I hadn’t taken my shower yet as I needed a cold shower after I read it to cool down.  My, he has a gift for words and making a lady feel special.  Our meeting Saturday may be interesting!  Wouldn’t it be amazing if the chemistry between us is there.  So hard to tell from brief phone calls and emails.  Doing my best not to get too excited yet – he has fallen off the cliff head over heels already!  Crossing my fingers this works as I don’t want to see him get hurt.

Went into Emporia and signed papers to buy my fourth rental property.  I didn’t go through this one but I completely trust my partner and he tells me it is a good deal.  We will close around the first of October.  It already has renters in it – how lucky is that?  I will need to call and get insurance for it but will have to have the insurance agent talk to my partner as I have no clue how to answer the hundred questions they ask.  I’m not even sure how many bedrooms and bathrooms it has let alone all the other stuff they ask.

From Emporia I drove to Wichita.  I went to Cabella’s to look for a shirt in a certain color.  I had gotten a shirt from them before I walked the Camino and every time I wear it someone compliments me on it.  They only had one shirt in that color in stock and it was too big.  I will look on-line and see if I can find one.  I did get two pair of trail pants to wear in Australia, a hoodie, and some long-sleeve shirts.

Went to Chipotle’s for lunch and then stopped at Costco before I headed for the hills and home.  It was a beautiful day to drive through the heart of the Flint Hills today.  There were enough clouds to cause shadows on the hills with other spots of full sunshine.  I love when that happens.  The grass is turning to fall colors.  The ditches are full of wild sunflowers.  I just love this time of year.  Low 80’s and no wind or humidity today.  Perfection!

Today marks my seven month anniversary being on the Bright Lines Eating Plan.  I have lost 43 pounds in the seven months.  Went from a size 12 to a size 4 and sometimes a size 2.  I never thought I would get this size when I started.  The eating plan sure feels like something I can stay on forever now.  I rarely get tempted to cheat and when I do I ask myself if I want that non approved food and then have to do the Radioactive Iodine Treatment or do I want to pass on the not allowed food.  So far, I have passed on eating the non approved food.  I know myself well enough to know it is far easier for me to stay completely off the sugar wagon than allow myself a bite here and there and then have to climb back on the wagon.  I do not trust myself that I would find the will power to climb back on.  Easier to just stay on the plan and avoid flour and sugar products and snacking.

Didn’t get any cleaning done today as I have been gone most of the day.  Maybe tomorrow will be the day I will get some done.  I have been lazy lately and haven’t been cleaning as much as I should have been.  The house has reached my point of disgusting and it is time to get it cleaned up again.

Finally remembered to call the plumber about my garbage disposal.  It wouldn’t make a noise when I turned it on.  Tim was out this morning and we checked the plug-in and it works.  Luckily the plumber told me about the red reset button on the bottom of the disposal and it now works!  Yeah!!!!  That was easy and cheap!!!

My life is so good right now I keep questioning myself if I want to allow someone else in right now.  I am happier than I have been for years and life feels easy.  Will adding a relationship screw that up?  Trusting that when I find the right guy he will only add more happiness and joy to my life and not suck it out of me.

Grateful for the beauty of the Flint Hills during this time of the year, grateful for my business partner and his knowledge and wisdom and trust, and grateful for the possibility of romance in my life.  I think I am ready!  I think I can!  I think I can!

 

My dogs had a very busy night protecting me from God knows what last night. I think they barked most of the night.  I heard a bark I didn’t recognize and also another animal of some sort yelling.  All three of my dogs are sacked out today making up for being on night watch last night.

Went into Emporia this morning to pick up some groceries.  Always glad when that task is done.  Have I ever mentioned I don’t like shopping?  I did manage to get everything on my list today which I don’t always do.

Have laundry started and one room cleaned.  Still have lots more cleaning to do today after I finish writing.  It is another beautiful day with temperatures in the low 70’s.  The windows and doors are open  and the outside sounds are coming in.  I love hear the birds singing and the chickens singing their I just laid an egg song.  I can feel my body gathering the energy of the fall and motivating me to get things done before winter comes.  Fall is my favorite season of the year.

Nice to have empty space today.  I have had three busy days of little empty space.  My soul was getting tired of being around people.  It is so nice today I will go take a long walk today and allow my soul to refill in the spacious Flint Hills.

May try to go to KC either tomorrow or Wednesday.  I have a list of things I need to get from Costco and have several other places I need to go to so I can start my Australia shopping.  I can only handle the city energy so long and rarely get through my list in one trip.

Something is calling me to dig out my Course in Miracles books and begin studying them again.  Anyone want to join me for a weekly discussion group?  I have seen mention of the Course several times over the last couple of days which is my sign there is something I need to pay attention to.  The Course teaches one to see love in all things and at all times.  Most of what we see is what we expect to see and that may or may not be what is really happening.  We operate mainly from a habitual pattern and the Course helps open those patterns up and allows us to see the world and ourselves from a different perspective.  I think it would be a richer learning experience if I could find a couple of others to join me on the journey.  Let me know if you are interested.

Still emailing my match guy from KS.  We are to have our first phone conversation sometime later today and plan on meeting face to face on Saturday.  Both of us are excited about meeting the other.  This will be the first dating venture for each of us since our respective marriages ended.  Excited, scared, nervous and calm all at the same time!

Doing the on-line dating thing has certainly added some spice to my life.  Still not sure what happened but space has opened for me internally that is allowing the possibility of being in a relationship to unfold.  Maybe it was the weight loss, maybe the work I have been doing with my mentor, maybe a combination of both.  Whatever happened I am grateful and looking forward to allowing even more fun and excitement into my life.

Grateful for the inner shift towards more fun in my life, grateful for the beautiful weather and the coming fall energy, and grateful my soul is refilling and is ready for a new adventure in life.

 

What a beautiful day.  The sun returned from its long vacation and it was in the mid 70’s.  This has been one of Kansas top ten days of the year.

I finished mowing my yard this morning.  The grass is the thickest it has been all year.  Only got stuck once and I was able to get unstuck rather easily.  The ground is still pretty soft in places and have some standing water in the holes the dogs have dug.

Had a healing client come at noon.  We spent a delightful two hours together catching up with each other and doing her healing.  I so enjoy doing energy healing work.  Second healing I have done this month after not doing any for several months.  Feels good to be back at it again.

Went to a friend’s house late afternoon for a birthday party.  There was a jazz band called the Santiago Brothers playing that was the best live band I have heard for a long time.  It was nice to visit with friends and listen to the music under the shade of the trees.  There was a fire burning and the smell of the fire reminded me fall is almost here.

When I came home after the party my guests had fixed a prime rib roast and invited me to eat dinner with them.  How lucky am I!  It was delicious!

Got a bit of my housecleaning done today but have lots more to do tomorrow.  This was another rather busy day for me and I didn’t find time to do much cleaning. Tomorrow I don’t have anything on my calendar so should be able to get it done then.

I had raised my weekend rates as I really don’t care if I get guests for the weekends now that I have the three guests staying during the week.  Had someone book for two nights in October today.  Guess if they want to pay the higher rate I will let them stay.  A two night stay makes it even better as I don’t have to wash sheets after only one night.

Three busy days in a row for me.  Glad my empty space returns tomorrow.  I need to catch up on some chores that I haven’t had time to do.  It has been nice to have things to do though.  Just wished I could spread it out and not have everything happen all together.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley of fun.  I think I have laughed more the last month than I have for years.  Life feels easy for me right now.  I will enjoy this ride for as long as it lasts.

Grateful for this beautiful day full of sunshine, grateful for the energy work I do, and grateful for my guests that like to cook and share their meal with me.

I have had a busy day.  A friend invited me over for coffee and conversation this morning.  We hadn’t seen each other for a bit so it was nice to catch up with her.  I enjoy conversation with friends.  The two hours I spent with her flew by quickly.

Around noon I headed for Pioneer Bluffs to help with an event there this afternoon.  We set up an ice cream bar and I helped serve ice cream after the viewing of the Pioneer Women film.  Lots of nice people there and it was fun to serve them.  I helped clean up afterwards and got home a little after 4:15.

Haven’t got any housework done yet today as I haven’t been home long enough to do it.  Tomorrow I have a friend coming for an energy healing session at noon and then have a birthday party to go to at 3:00.  The dust and dirt may have to wait until Monday.  Guess it isn’t going any place.

It has been so nice to have the house open all day today so the fresh air could blow in.  The house needed aired out after being closed up all summer.  I had to wear layers today to keep warm enough.  I smell fall in the air.

Finished the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter last night.  I watched the movie Play the Game while I was finishing them up.  I snorted I was laughing so hard at one point.  It is on Amazon Prime – watch it if you need a laugh. Andy Griffith is in it and played his part to perfection.  Lynn just picked up the Newsletter so that project is out the door.  I dropped the cardboard off at recycling on the way to Pioneer Bluffs this morning.

It alway feels good to have a day when I am in service to others.  Still looking for more opportunities to give back to others.  I finally have cleared my calendar enough that I have lots of empty space and need to fill in some more days with activities to keep me busy.

Monday I will need to mow if it dries out enough.  The grass is really nice and tall from all the rains we have gotten.  It will be easy mowing as I will be able to see where I have mowed throughout the whole yard.

Still sending and receiving a daily email to my match guy that lives in KS.  We will probably try to meet face to face next weekend if all goes as planned.  I have guests coming in Friday through Sunday but they are guests that I don’t have to be here all the time for them.  It will be easy to slip away for a couple of hours to go on a date.  Wow!  That feels weird to write.

He had told me he had a bad habit of biting his fingernails when he was upset.  I told him I had a bad habit of cussing but offered to watch my mouth if that bothers him.  He told me today he could handle my cussing.  I think I like this guy!

Sitting in a peaceful valley today that feels like fun.  I am slowing allowing more and more fun in to my life and I love the way it feels.

Grateful to have been of service the last two days, grateful for friends and deep conversations, and grateful for the fun that has found me and the joy it brings to my heart.

 

 

My shoulders are sore and tight.  I have been working on and off all day on the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter.  Only have about 150 more to stuff and then I need to glue about 600 of them and this project will be done.  Not sure if I will finish them tonight or wait until morning.  Always glad when it is done.

This has been one of those days where I go to start something, see something else that needs done and then forget what I was originally going to do.  I have little piles of uncompleted tasks all over the house.  Not sue why I am so scatter brained today.  I headed out to feed the chickens several times today and never did make it down there.

It rained most of the day but it was a light sprinkle and only got 1/4 inch in the gauge.  I opened the windows and turned off the A/C this morning.  It has been nice having fresh air in the house today.  Only going to be in the mid 80’s next week so may leave the A/C off.  60’s at night so will make for some good sleeping weather.  The sun is to return to the prairie Sunday and hang around all week next week.  It has been on vacation all week and I am starting to miss it.

Tomorrow I need to be at Pioneer Bluffs by 12:30 to help with an event they are having tomorrow.  Come see me if you are free – I’ll be there all afternoon.

Sunday a friend is coming for a healing session around noon and in the afternoon I have been invited to a birthday party by the river.  They are having a live band and it will be a beautiful afternoon to sit outside and enjoy good conversation and good live music.

Sometime this weekend I need to do some housecleaning.  I have managed to ignore it and I don’t think I can for much longer.  Not sure if my guests will be around the house tomorrow or if they will find something fun to do.  I try to get the housework done when they aren’t here but sometimes I just need to get it done.

Haven’t heard from the guy in CO so am starting to think he isn’t going to respond.  The other guy from KS sent another email today.  He is going on a business trip tomorrow and when he gets back he wants to set a time for us to actually meet in person.  We’ll see where this one goes – or not.  I’m a little gun-shy at this point.  Learning to enjoy the process and not to anticipate what may or may not happen.

I ordered some stainless steel straws that fit in my Yeti cups.  So far I am liking them. I had ordered some glass straws earlier but they were too fat to fit in the lid.  I had finally run out of the McDonald straws I had hoarded when we sold the stores.  They lasted over five years!  Time for me to act more responsible towards Mother Nature and quit using plastic straws.

Felt good to be in service today.  I’ll need to soak a little longer than normal in my Epsom salt bath tonight to work the tightness out of my shoulders.  I didn’t take a nap today so maybe tonight will be the night that I get some good sleep at last.  It has been a bit since I have gotten a good night’s sleep.

Grateful the Newsletter project is almost done, grateful for cooler temperatures and being able to have the house windows open, and grateful this day is almost over and that I haven’t had a major oops as scatter brained as I have been.

Went to Topeka this morning to get some things that are on my list.  Looked for a swimming suit but didn’t find anything in my size to try on.  May have waited too long and will have to order one on-line.  I did find two dresses at Old Navy.  Got two t-shirt dresses to wear as pajamas.  I got tired of shopping and quit.

Went to the Kansas Corporate Commission to listen to them rule on a complaint that had been filed against them.  They have not been following the law during their permit process.  Of course they decided it didn’t matter and nothing will be done about it.  Funny I didn’t hear an apology or a promise to do better in the future from them.  I did notice that the Commissioners did not look anyone in the audience in the eye while the complaint response was read.  One could almost feel the shame flowing off of them.  I think they have been bought out!

There was a baby in the audience that started fussing just as the guy started reading the response.  It was as if the baby knew it was bullshit and wasn’t going to stay silent.

There were about 35 – 45 people in the audience watching the hearing.  They brought in two Capital Police in case we decided to get loud and protest.  The audience was very respectful and quiet after the hearing was over.  Lots of eye rolling though.

Dumped my rain gauge out this morning.  It had almost two inches in it.  The most I have dumped out so far this year.  More rain is in the forecast for the next two days then it is to dry out for a week or so.  I will need to mow when the water puddles disappear.

When I got home I picked up the material so I can get the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter put together.  Guess I know what I am going to do tomorrow!

Found out one of my long-term boarders will be available to house sit for me the whole time I am in Australia.  That makes it easy for me.  One more thing crossed off my to-do list.

Haven’t heard from the match guy from CO.  He may decide not to respond.  I had ask him to give himself some time to think it through before he responded if he chose to do so.  That chapter of my life may be over – hopefully!

The guy from KS hasn’t responded to my second email yet so not sure where that is going.  Another guy from Manhattan messaged me but the conversation was not deep.  I got another message from him late last night that was full of spelling errors – have a feeling he was drunk messaging.  Think I will end that one before it goes any further.

I am grateful for the lessons on-line dating is providing me.  I have learned several things about myself and I always like when that happens.  Found a couple more ranges that I was stuck in and am giving them some attention so I can open them up a bit.  Still not sure if I am ready to take on a serious relationship.  I enjoy my empty space alone.  I do miss hugs and someone to have deep conversations with and someone who makes me laugh at life.

Grateful for political activist that call out the corruption that is in our political system, grateful for a service project to do this weekend, and grateful for the way life provide me opportunities to learn more about myself.

 

A year ago today I was spending the day in the hospital dealing with the thyroid storm.  I am so very grateful I chose to have my thyroid removed as that prevented the cancer from growing and spreading.  I am in a much better place physically now than I was a year ago.

Went into Emporia this morning to get groceries.  Emporia was receiving a nice rain while I was in town but my little corner of the prairie missed it.  I only have 1/2 inch in the gauge from the last couple days.  Feels like there is a giant umbrella over my little corner of the prairie.  The rain keeps going all around me.

My linemen get the day off.  One of them is here already but I haven’t seen the other one yet.  Bet they both take a nap this afternoon.  I may take one too as I didn’t sleep well last night again.

I sent my match guy from CO a note last night explaining why I was upset.  I ask him to take his time to respond.  Sure feels like that relationship (if I can call it that) is over.  Long-distance isn’t for me.  I need to look in someone’s eyes to see if they are telling me the truth.  He may have been honest with me but it is hard to set aside my doubts and fears and let my guard down when I haven’t met him.

A guy from KS had sent me a nice note yesterday.  When I responded his profile was blocked.  I found his email address from the notification I had received via my email.  I sent him a note and ask if he had blocked me or if his account was turned off.  He responded this morning and told me his account subscription had run out yesterday.  I’m glad I took a chance and sent him a note.  We have several things in common – he likes to travel, he has a Polaris Ranger he loves to take prairie rides in, and he likes to watch the sunset around a fire!  All of those I enjoy!  I wrote back this morning so I’ll see where this goes.  At least he is only 120 miles away so the chances of meeting face to face seem very possible if we decide to do that.

Oh the world of on-line dating!  It seems so foreign and cold in some ways to me.  It has added a bit of spice to my life though.  I keep reminding myself my job is to take a little baby step each day and let the Universe figure out the master plan.  If I give up and don’t take action it makes it hard for the Universe to match me with someone – especially since I don’t get out much.  I told Kathy last night that maybe I am to wait for a guest to show up and sweep me off my feet!  One never knows – I think the Universe uses whatever it can to make things happen.

Nothing much I need to do today.  One of my linemen replaced another light bulb in the living room for me last night.  He makes it look so easy!  I have another light bulb above the kitchen island I need to replace today.  The light fixtures need cleaned so will probably get that task done today if nothing else.

Grateful I took a chance and reached out, grateful I found the words to express my feelings to CO, and grateful for the endless possibilities that lay ahead of me!

On-line dating is certainly an adventure!  I was checking something the guy from CO had written on his profile and noticed that he now lives in Nashville, TN.  When I ask him about that he brushed me off and said he had no idea how that happened.  Doesn’t seem to understand why my guard is way up.  Thinking it is time to end this conversation with him.  Maybe he was hacked but I take it as a sign from the Universe to stop this before it goes any further.

Had a nice message from a “normal” sounding guy from KS.  In it he sent his private email address and ask that I respond to that.  I choose to respond via Match.com messenger instead.  When I checked to see if I had a response I found he blocked me.  Not sure if he didn’t like something I wrote or if it was a scam to get my email address.

On-line dating is not for the faint of heart.  Not sure if I will continue looking on-line or not.  Getting the feeling I am wasting my time.  How does one know if someone is for real?  It is good practice getting rejected – remembering not to take it personal and understanding it is all part of the process.

I’m glad I am comfortable being alone and really OK if this doesn’t work out.  Desperation could lead you into trouble with on-line dating!

I decided not to go to KC today as it is to rain much of the day.  I don’t like driving in the city anyways and rain makes it even harder.  Nothing I needed that couldn’t wait for a dry day next week.  I will go to Emporia for some groceries either today or tomorrow instead.

Enjoying an empty space type of day at home.  I kinda expect that my guys will be coming in early today due to the rain.  They aren’t allowed to work when it is raining out – something about electricity and water not mixing well together.  The wife of one of them is here this week.  She had to work in Manhattan today. She was trusting that she could get to the store where she is to work.  Manhattan has lots of flooding going on due to receiving over 8 inches of rain over the weekend.  We didn’t get but a few sprinkles.  Not much in the rain gauge yet today either.

I am messed up with the days of the week due to the holiday Monday.  I worked all weekend and Monday so didn’t notice the holiday.  Sure feels like Monday to me all over again.  It will make for a short week though.

Nothing much I have to do today.  I need to make up a bed and clean a bathroom but other than that nothing has to be done.  I do need to find something productive to do though. I am getting tired of sitting too much and wasting too much time.  I do good sitting for a day or so but then I need something productive to do.  Just can’t think of anything that needs done besides cleaning.

Still sitting in my peaceful valley.  I am grateful the on-line dating happenings haven’t pulled me off-center.  I feel myself more as an observer to the process than an active participant which is a healthy place for me to be.

Grateful for the adventures of life – in the many forms they present themselves to me, grateful for empty space and the ability to be able to embrace it and enjoy it, and grateful for being able to keep my center through the storms of on-line dating!

Stayed up until 2:00 this morning.  I sat and visited with one of my guests until 1:15 and then took a bath and finally went to bed.  I was awake off and on all night long.  Sure wish I could sleep at night as well as I can nap.

My guests left a little after 11:00 this morning.  Started the first of several loads of laundry and have the dishwasher running.  I’ll get the two bedrooms and bathrooms cleaned while I am waiting on laundry to finish.  Two guests will be returning this evening and two more will be coming in tomorrow afternoon or evening.

I did an energy session for one of my guests yesterday.  I hadn’t done a session for several months.  Felt good to do one.  I always find them so fascinating and never can predict what might happen during or afterwards.  My guest seemed to think it was helpful.  I gave her the number of someone in KC that does healings as she was interested in having some more work done and the drive here is too much for her.

Both of my guests had Chase County connections so we enjoyed talking about people we all knew.  It is a small, small world sometimes.

Sitting and enjoying the sounds of silence.  I so enjoy having guests come and I so enjoy when they leave!  I will spend the afternoon refilling myself after having several long delightful conversations with my guests.  Thankful I have a week of empty space ahead of me so I can enjoy the silence and beauty of the prairie.

May take a nap again this afternoon – seems to be a new habit I am developing.    Need to get the first of two bedrooms finished before I can take a nap as I want to have the bedroom ready when my guests arrive later this afternoon.

My real estate partner called me this morning.  He has found another rental property he thinks I would be interested in.  I told him to go ahead and make an offer.  I have been wanting to buy several more properties but the housing market has been so inflated lately that he hasn’t found one he would recommend I buy.  He likes to buy them 10 – 15% below market value and ones that he would be able to flip quickly for me if I decide I want to sell them.  I trust him completely.  This won’t be the first house I have bought sight unseen.  This one doesn’t need any immediate work done to it and already has tenants that will sign a one-year lease.

Grateful for the work I am doing out here on the prairie and the people I get to meet, grateful for the beauty and silence of the prairie this afternoon, and grateful for a business partner that is so trustworthy and honest.

 

My guests didn’t get here until after 10:30 last night.  I stayed up with them until after midnight.  They are very sweet ladies and I enjoyed visiting with them this morning.  They went out for the day around 12:40.  I took a nap.

Sure wish I could fall asleep at night as fast as I do when I take a nap.  I was laying down reading a book and couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I slept hard for almost two hours.  The ladies were back when I got up.  Both of them are napping now.

I ended up putting one of them in the bedroom upstairs as the steps were going to be too much for her.  I hadn’t taken my long-term guests personal stuff out of the room. She seems to be making do.  The other guest is in the room downstairs.  I’ll have to flip both rooms when they leave tomorrow.

Started a conversation with a guy from Independence KS.  I told him I was suspicious as the last time I visited with someone from Independence KS their profile picture changed to someone else.  When he responded today he admitted to actually living in CA.  Don’t think I will continue that conversation.  The long-distance thing isn’t for me.  Not sure why it shows he is from KS when he isn’t.  At least this guy was honest up front.

Lots of rain all around me today but none fell on my little corner of the prairie.  Still have a chance for some more rain all week.  My guests had gone to the Tallgrass Prairie Preserve and it had rained hard on them for a bit this afternoon.  So close yet so far away!

Other than flipping the two rooms I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow.  It will be nice to have another empty space type of day.  If the mood hits there is always cleaning I can do.

I will need to mow again this week sometime.  I have mowed more the last three weeks than I have all summer long.  I’ll probably wait till the end of the week to mow to see if we get some more rain.

Haven’t done much of anything today.  Sat and visited with my guests this morning for several hours.  I always enjoy meeting new people and sharing stories.  Feels like I made two new friends.

Got a strong sense of living my life’s purpose today as we were visiting.  Love when that happens.  I can’t seem to hold on to that feeling but it is nice to have it visit me occasionally as a reminder to keep on doing what I am doing.  So very grateful I switched to being an Airbnb instead of doing retreats.  This is so much easier.

Grateful for guests that become friends, grateful for naps, and grateful for empty space on my calendar.

Hard to believe it is September already.  This summer went by fast.  Forecast shows rainy days ahead all week.  I welcome every drop of rain that comes my way.

I went into Prairie Past Times last night for Emma Chase Music night.  It was songwriters night so all the performers did their own original music.  My two favorite musicians were there and performed.  I tried to keep drool off my face when one of them sang.  He is so good – and cute!

The guest that has been here the last two weeks checked out this morning.  She said she felt like she was moving out of her home.  She thanked me for making her feel like family.  She is headed to OK to spend four weeks at another Airbnb.  She was a delightful guest – one that I will miss.

I have two more guests checking in later this afternoon.  I have the bedroom and bathroom cleaned and am washing sheets and towels.  Hopefully everything will be dry and put away before the next guests arrive.

Alarm bells are ringing in my head with my Match guy from CO.  Not big things but enough that I am hearing them ring.  Not sure on-line dating is for me.  How ever do you know if they are the real thing or not?  I don’t think I will even attempt to start a conversation with someone so far away again.  I need to see them face-to-face so I know if they are for real and who they are saying they are.  I’ll let this play out for a bit longer and see what happens but I have my guard up and my blinders off.

Maybe this whole exercise with on-line dating was to give me a chance to see if I am really ready for a new relationship.  I think I am but then I find myself pulling back and thinking maybe not.  Getting in a conversation with someone so far away was “safe” in many ways as the chances of us having much face-to-face time is limited.  It has been good practice!

I keep reminding myself my job is to take baby steps and not to worry about how a relationship will come to me.  I do have to show up and take action to make it happen though.

Have another quiet week next week.  Thursday I am going to Topeka to a KCC hearing on fracking.  Several friends of mine have been very active in uncovering some misdoings by the KCC and wanted a large crowd in attendance when a ruling is announced Thursday afternoon.  I was free that day so decided to ride along with them.  If nothing else I will get to spend the day with some friends and enjoy some good conversation.  Not sure I see myself as a political activist but all sorts of possibilities are coming into my life right now.

May try to get to KC Tuesday to do some shopping.  Later in the week I may be working on the Newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs if the printer gets it completed.  I am volunteering at an event at Pioneer Bluffs most of Saturday.  If I don’t make it to KC Tuesday I have most of the next week free too.  Nice to have lots of empty space on my calendar right now.

When I went to Walmart yesterday I found some Levi jeans for $20 a pair.  I tried them on and a size 2 fit – they are tight but wearable.  I still don’t see myself as that small.  I think companies must be making clothes bigger than they used to.  I have never been a size 2 before.  What size do skinny girls wear and where do they find them?

Learned something about myself last night.  I found another habit pattern that I need to give some attention to so I can break the range open on it.  I tend to isolate myself when I am feeling down and that shuts other people out.  Not sure that is always the best choice for me to act that way.  Now that I am more aware I am doing that I am now in a position to make a choice how I react and not allow my unconscious self run that pattern.  Love when I break another range open.

Life is a journey of self-discovery.  I now enjoy finding hidden patterns I run.  Once I uncover them my work is done.  I won’t keep running them unconsciously once I am aware of them.  I give them a little attention and when that situation repeats I then get to make a choice how to react.  Sometimes  reacting in the old habitual way is the best choice – but it only works when it is a choice and not a blind habit.

Grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself through gentle life lessons, grateful for the guests that come to stay and the friendships that develop as a bonus, and grateful for my mentors that have taught me how to manage my life from a higher vibration and with a wider range of choices to play with.

 

Dinner was a success last night.  Three of the four guests had never had bierrock before.  They liked it!  The one that has had it before put salsa on it – I hadn’t seen anyone do that before.  Fixed a fruit salad to go with it so it was an easy meal.  Had some bierrock left over.  I froze 16 of them and one of the guys took the rest with him for his lunch today.

Have one bedroom flipped and cleaned this morning.  My guests made it easy for me as they stripped the bed and put the sheets in the washer for me this morning.  Sheets are washing from the other bedroom.  Still need to clean the second bedroom and the two bathrooms. Got my bedroom closet cleaned this morning.  Found lots of dirt in it.

Need to run into town this afternoon and get some groceries for the weekend.  I have two new guests coming in tomorrow afternoon and not sure I can get away while they are here.  They will be here until Monday morning and then my guys come back Monday evening.

Kathy got home safely.  It is nice to see her.  She had an amazing experience in Kentucky and is looking forward to moving the end of September.

I hit goal weight this morning!  It took me 202 days to release 41 pounds.  I still want to take three more pounds off so I have some wiggle room as my goal weight is the weight I never want to go over again.  I weigh now what I did when I got pregnant with Jason 43 years ago.

Now I get to start adding in more food to slow down and stop the weight loss.  Not sure what to add in as I don’t eat grains.  Sweet potatoes count as a grain so maybe I will add a sweet potato to my dinner each night.  I have already added some protein to breakfast and lunch.  Somedays I can’t eat all I am supposed to be eating.

I went down to clean out the chicken coop this morning but it was too windy.  I didn’t want to fight to keep the doors open so I could clean it out. The straw would have blown out of the wheel barrow faster than I could put it in it this morning.  It is to be nice and cool next week so I will wait for a day when the wind isn’t so strong and do it then.

Starting to make a list of things I need to get for my Australia trip.  It will be summer there.  The trail pants I bought to take to Spain no longer fit.  My swim suit no longer fits and I need to get a new one to take before they are not to be found in the stores.  I will need to go to KC in the next week or so and do some shopping.  I also need to get some sweaters and hoodies for the fall.  The winter coat I ordered fit so I am good to go there.

Becoming more and more aware of a shift that has happened internally again.  Not sure if I can find words to describe it though.  As I slowly step into accepting my right sized body I can feel the additional self-confidence it is bringing me.  Life seems to be lots more fun right now.  I am remembering to take time to play.  My guests are treating me so nicely and I have released the control of my kitchen to them.  That gives me more space to play.

Grateful to have hit goal weight (at least the upper limit of it), grateful for the internal shift that has happened again, and grateful for the fun that is finding its way to me.

 

I am fixing bierrock for dinner tonight.  One of my guests and I were talking about it last week and I decided to make it today.  The house smells really good right now.  Almost time to roll out the dough and stuff it.  I’ll eat the stuffing part but not the bread part.

Had lunch with a match from Match.com.  It was a fun two-hour lunch but there was no romantic spark for me.  He is a nice man and having some interesting awakening experiences.  Feel like I have a new friend though.  Can never have too many friends.

Haven’t heard from one of the guys that was sending me text messages everyday.  Not sure what happened but it is OK as I don’t think that relationship was going to go anywhere.  He didn’t seem to want to go very deep.

The other guy and I are still emailing, texting and talking on the phone.  I’m still interested in learning more about him.  Wish he didn’t live so far away.

One of my guys got called out to work storm damage in KC.  He worked for 20 hours, slept over in KC last night and then came back.  He is taking a nap this afternoon.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow except for flipping two rooms.  Have two more new guests coming in Saturday for two nights.  I’ll have three rooms full all week next week.

When I got the estimate for replacing the garage door I was very grateful for the income the Airbnb is providing.  It will take two months of Airbnb income to pay for the doors.  Grateful I don’t have to dip into saving to pay for them.  I checked with my insurance company this morning and my deductible is higher than the cost of the doors so no need to file a claim.

Grateful for meeting a new friend, grateful my guest returned safely home after working on storm damage, and grateful I have the extra income that takes care of unexpected household repairs.

Discovered one of my garage doors was damaged in the storm yesterday morning.  Not sure if it can be repaired or if it will need to be replaced.  Several of the rollers on the sides of it were pulled out and it is bowed out.  That was some wind that came through.  The garage door people are to come out either today or tomorrow to take a look at it and see what needs to be done.

Went into Emporia this morning to get groceries.  Glad to have that chore done.  I do not like grocery shopping or going into town.  Much prefer to stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet on the prairie.

One of my guests checked out this morning.   She will be back next Tuesday and stay until Friday morning.  I have the sheets in the washer and will need to get down and clean the room sometime today.  The other four guests are still here.  Three check out Friday morning and the last one Saturday morning.  Saturday afternoon two more guests check in for two nights.  Then my long-termers start coming back Monday evening and Tuesday evening.

Kathy will be back either Thursday evening or sometime Friday.  Sounds like she will get the job she wanted so will be moving out the end of September.

I will need to find someone to take care of the house while I am in Australia in November.  They will need to wash towels and clean the kitchen mid-week and then on the weekends strip all the beds, wash the sheets and towels, remake the beds plus clean the bedrooms and kitchen and feed and water the critters.  Anyone know of anyone that would be willing to do this?  Pay is negotiable.  Someone would certainly be welcome to stay at the house the whole time I am gone.  The guys said they would do the chicken, cat and dog chores for me during the week.  I will be gone November 2 – 19.

Still haven’t gotten back to doing any embroidery work.  These last two sets have been sitting around for a long time now.  Not sure why I can’t pick it back up.  Not very fond of either of the patterns I am working on.  I won’t let myself stamp a new one though until I power through these two and get them done.  Guess it doesn’t hurt anything that they are just sitting and waiting for me.  Kinda like dust – it doesn’t go anywhere and seems to wait for me to get to it.

Nothing else much on my calendar for the day except for cleaning.  That seems to be a permanent fixture on my schedule these days.  Today I don’t have a deadline to get the cleaning done so it will be easy to not get it done.  Glad I got my mowing done yesterday before the storm blew in.  I prefer not to procrastinate these days if I can make myself stay focused enough not to.  I sit and do nothing better when I know my chores are done for the day.

With the house full I am finding it easy to isolate myself again.  I have guests to visit with during the evenings so it is easy to stay home all day and not be around other people.  I enjoy the guests that I have right now and enjoy visiting with them.  Maybe that is enough social interaction for me right now.

Life seems light and easy right now.  It is fun talking or texting to the two guys each day.  Nice to start my day off with good morning texts from each of them.  They usually wish me a good night each night too.  Had a phone call from one of them this morning.  It is nice to make contact with someone else and take a few minutes and enjoy the company of each other.  I didn’t realize how much I had missed that.

My Note From the Universe this morning reminded me to stay focused on my long-term intention and not get caught up in how it is going to happen.  It was a nice reminder to myself this morning. If all of this is meant to help me find a life-long partner it will happen – how it happens I don’t have to worry about.  I just need to show up and take a baby step everyday.

Grateful for quiet and peaceful days at home, grateful for all the guests that come stay with me, and grateful for the fun and ease I am finding in my life right now.

After a not so good night’s sleep it has been a productive day.  I was up and showered before 7:00 this morning so I got the rest of my mowing done by 8:30 this morning.  Got the dining room and kitchen floors mopped.  It had been a bit since I had cleaned them more than a lick and promise.  Have a load of dishes going and a load of laundry running.  Not bad for it not even being 11:00 yet.

We had a nice little thunderstorm blow through this morning.  It was coming in as I was finishing mowing.  The birds started acted differently and I checked the clouds and saw it coming in.  It was sprinkling on my way up from putting the mower in the barn.  We must have gotten 60 – 70 mph winds as the swings were a rocking and rolling during the height of the storm.  For a short bit I couldn’t see the swings as it was raining so hard.  Have .7 in the rain gauge and water standing in the holes in the back yard.  I appreciate every drop!  Got some small hail for a minute or two.  Thankfully it was too small to do any damage.  The skies are bright blue now and the sun has returned.

Sure feeling like it is going to be a nap day.  I didn’t get much sleep last night.  Not unusual for me after getting a lot of sleep the night before.  Have a touch of a headache and am tired today.  I’m surprised I was able to get some stuff done anyways.

Need to run into town either today or tomorrow and pick up a few groceries.  The guest fruit bowl is getting low and I don’t have any more fruit on hand to put in it.  With five guests in the house the fruit disappears quickly.

The Vo-Tech student that started staying with me this week has two friends that are also interested in staying here.  If they decide to stay here too I will have five guests Monday through Friday every week.  If they stay I will block off the weekends and not mess with weekend guests.  I sure like the long-term people – it makes it much easier for me.

One of my disc golf buddies is coming back with two of his friends the weekend of the 14th of September.  It is always fun to see him.  He is an easy guest and fun to talk to.

Have some more housecleaning I want to get done today while I am in the mood to do so.  I’ll see if the mood laststo get me through it.  I also have a couple of phone calls to make if I find the energy to do so.  May have hit my limit of productivity for the day.

One of my guests put a pot roast in the crock pot this morning so they could have it for dinner tonight.  The smell of it is making me hungry today!  I keep looking at the clock to see if it is lunch time yet.  May run to town to get away from the smell.

Managed to get the pictures Nicole took loaded on to the Airbnb site.  While doing so I found the file I couldn’t find of the pictures from the Camino my friends from CA had given me.  I sat for a while last night and looked at those.  Oh what wonderful memories it brought back.

Grateful for a productive day, grateful for more rain on the prairie, and grateful for a full house of guests.

 

 

Sleep!  Glorious sleep.  I slept like a normal person last night.  Fell asleep around 9:30 and slept straight through until 4:30.  Woke up and went to the bathroom and was able to go right back to sleep.  Slept until 7:30 this morning.  Wow!  Can’t remember the last time I got that much sleep.  May it be the start of a new trend.  I think I could like night-time again if this happened more often.

I remembered to do chores this morning.  Kathy is gone for the week so the chores are on me.  Thought about setting an alarm on my phone to remind myself to do them.

Got the push mowing done last night.  I needed to get outside and move my body.  I am going out to do the riding mowing in a bit.  I need to go get some more gas so I will have enough to finish the job.  Only the first refill of my gas cans all summer.

I have officially lost 40 pounds since I started Bright Line Eating almost 200 days ago.   One more pound to go and I will hit the top range of my goal weight!  60 pounds down from where I was over a year ago.  Now the real work begins which is keeping it off.  I certainly am more comfortable being in a right sized body this time.  When I lost weight before I wasn’t.  Maybe that will help me keep it off this time.  The weight I shed feels like is was old baggage and the real me has been uncovered.

Still playing the on-line dating game.  I have regular contact via phone or text with two different guys going on.  Not thinking either of them are “the” one but it is fun to practice flirting.  One doesn’t like to go very deep but he is the one I am just texting.  The other lives in CO so it will be a challenge to develop a relationship with just through emails and texts.  He lived in Denmark as a child and English is his second language.  Sometimes I struggle to understand what he is saying which makes communication a bit of a challenge over the phone.  It is fun to laugh with him though.

I never dated much as a girl growing up and haven’t had much experience with it since.  On-line adds another dimension to it – are they really who they say they are?  Thinking the rules have changed since I was in High School an am not sure what they are.  Maybe my memory of those days long gone is not reliable either though.  Kinda fun to open myself to this possibility and see where it takes me.  May still end up alone but that is OK too.  I kinda like spending time with myself now.

Nothing much on my calendar for this week.  I will have five guests for the next two nights and then four through Friday morning.  Saturday one leaves and two others come in.  I’ll have three next week Tuesday through Friday morning.  I like having a full house of guests!

My three guests and I watched the full moon rise last night.  There were a bit of clouds on the horizon so didn’t get to see it come up but shortly after it was up we saw it rise higher and higher into the night sky.  It was a big and bright orange ball of light.  I watched it for over 30 minutes.  Maybe that is why I was able to sleep really good last night.  I will set an alarm on my phone so I can remember to watch it again tonight if the clouds stay away.

Wind warnings are back up for the rest of the day.  Most of the ten-day forecast calls for temperatures in the mid 80’s with some scattered chances of rain thrown in.  Much prefer the 80’s over the 90’s.  Fall is coming!  I smelled it in the air yesterday.  One of my favorite times of the year.

One of these mornings when I get up early and it is cooler out I will need to clean out the chicken coop.  I try to remember to get it done monthly through the summer.  When really cold weather hits I add fresh straw monthly but leave the old stuff in there.  That helps keep the chickens warmer in the winter.  Need to check to make sure I have enough straw to get through the winter months.  Won’t be long before I will need to hook up the heat lamp so there water doesn’t freeze.  Winter will be here before I am ready for it.

Nicole took some pictures of the house for me to add-on to my Airbnb site.  I tried yesterday and the pictures failed to load for some reason.  I was too tired to figure out what happened.  If I remember I will try again today and see what I need to do to fix it.  Some days I don’t have patience for technology and yesterday was one of those days.  Maybe today – maybe not though!

Sitting in my peaceful valley this morning.  Enjoying the peace and quiet of the house after the busy weekend.  The guest that is home today is quietly working downstairs and I won’t see much of her today.  The others are at work and won’t be back until early evening.  Good day to recharge my soul and enjoy the beauty around me.

Grateful for 40 pounds released in 200 days, grateful for living in a place that gives me a wonderful view of the sunsets and moon risings, and grateful for the many possibilities life has to offer me.

We had a delightful dinner last night.  I managed not to have a failure with anything I fixed to eat.  Everyone seemed to have a good time and most went home with leftovers.  I am still not used to cooking without taste testing things.  I didn’t try the dressing or gravy – it was eaten and people wanted leftovers so it must have been OK.

The two grandkids spent the night.  We played musical bed all night last night.  Tagen fell asleep easily but Ellexia had trouble falling asleep.  I laid down with her in my queen bed where Tagen was sleeping.  She finally fell asleep so I moved to the couch.  Thirty minutes later she comes out and joins me on the couch.

We moved back to the bed.  Rinse and repeat twice more!  She finally stayed in the bed and I got an hour or two of sleep on the couch.  Tagen fell out of bed at some point during the night.  He got up and got back in bed and went right back to sleep.  He doesn’t remember falling out of bed.  Both kiddos were up around 8:00.

I fixed breakfast for them and they played until Tim and Michelle came to get them after noon.  They ate several snacks after breakfast.  Tagen now weighs more than I do and is as tall as I am.  He is in a huge growth spurt.

Nicole left around 11:00 this morning to return home.  It was fun having her home for the night.  She likes to read on her trips so I sent home three paper grocery sacks full of books I had read.  I buy them at the library book sale twice a year for $5 a bag.  Nice to find someone to pass them on to.  I usually return them to the library so they can resale them.

I have done three loads of dishes today and three loads of laundry.  I got two beds stripped, washed and remade today.  The house is ready for my long-term boarders to return tonight and tomorrow.  Think I will do nothing the rest of the day.

It is nice to sit in the peace and quiet of my house this afternoon.  I love having the grandkids come play but I love when they go home too!  I tried to take a nap and coudln’t fall asleep.  It may be an early bedtime for me tonight.

Kathy left for Kentucky late morning this morning.  She won’t be home until Friday.  I will have to remember to do morning chores while she is gone.  She has spoiled me and takes care of them most mornings.

I forgot to eat lunch today until 3:00.  I only ate because I felt I should.  I couldn’t eat all of my salad.  That is rare for me.  I did eat some bacon this morning so maybe it filled me up and I didn’t need more.  I rarely cheat but indulged this morning and had three slices.  I love oven cooked bacon and rarely fix it.

Have been thinking about all the changes my family has had happen over the last several years.  Guess the only thing constant in life is change.  Sure is easier to accept change than to be in resistance to it.  Something tells me more change is coming!

Grateful the dinner went well and all the food I fixed turned out OK, grateful all the family was able to be together for a meal, and grateful for the peace and quiet of my house this afternoon and for a rare afternoon I get to be alone in the house.