Starry night on the prairie

Well this afternoon didn’t go as planned. I got a text while I was eating lunch from Tim. He had taken Craig to the ER. I went over to the hospital when I was done eating and found out Craig is septic. They shipped him to Stormont Vail in Topeka. He ask me to go up with him. Michelle has two sick kiddos at home, Jason has to work and Nicole is in Tahiti. I never like to see anyone be alone in a hospital.

I went home and packed a bag for me and then met Tim at Craig’s house so I could pick up what Craig needed. I drove to Topeka and got to his room just after Craig arrived. They have been a bit slow to get things going. I’m glad I was here though as I sat with his nurse as she updated his medication list. It took almost an hour. He hadn’t had his nap and was a bit confused. Not sure he could have answered her questions very good. His hearing aide battery died and he couldn’t hear most of what was being said.

He has been here over four hours and hasn’t been given any medications yet. The nurse left thirty minutes ago to find an IV pump so she could give him some antibiotics but hasn’t returned yet. He took his morning pills at home but hasn’t had any since. They checked his blood pressure when he got here but haven’t checked it since. They drew a bunch of blood again so they can run the same blood culture tests that were drawn at Newman Hospital before he left there.

He has been alternating between shaking cold chills and hot sweats. He is starting to chill again and is starting to run a temperature for the first time. May be a long night. They may move him to ICU if he takes a turn for the worse. So far he has been fairly stable. The nurse finally came back and got his antibiotic started and gave him some pills.

Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow. Trusting the night will be fairly smooth and he will be feeling a bit better tomorrow. No mention yet of any prediction of how long he might be here. Lots of tests being run and not many results in other than he has a UTI.

I’m going to have to bail on my commitment to Pioneer Bluffs once again. I feel like I have not been a very good board member this year as things keep coming up and I skip out on my duties. Thankfully once again Kathy is going to take my place. So grateful she is around to care for the animals.

Life changes on a dime! Hug your loved ones! One never knows when shit is going to hit the fan!

I got a call from my doctor this morning telling me my cholesterol is way too high. It has almost doubled from 256 to 486 when it was checked when I was in the hospital in September. He wanted to put me on a statin which I refused. Years ago I had an episode of Trans Global Amnesia which is a rare side effect of statins. He called in something else. I will pick it up and research it to see if I will agree to take it or not.

High cholesterol is a symptom of hypothyroidism. My cholesterol levels were lower than normal for me in September as I was hyperthyroid then. As soon as I can have the ablation and they can get my thyroid levels up my cholesterol will drop back down to my normal range.

I was surprised he called me. He doesn’t usually react to my blood tests levels even when they are high. Guess close to 500 got his attention. The good news is my good cholesterol or the HDL was 94 which is above range too.

As I was doing some reading there is another blood test that can be done to see if you have big clumps or little clumps of cholesterol. It is the little clumps that cause heart issues. I hadn’t heard of that test before. I would be interested in knowing which I have. Next time someone draws blood I will ask if they can check it out for me.

Makes me wonder why a doctor didn’t check my thyroid when they first noticed my cholesterol was high years ago. According to the article I was reading that is what they recommend. Fix the thyroid and you fix the cholesterol instead of treating just the symptoms. Guess that doesn’t sell as many drugs though.

I cut out an apron this morning. I’ll see if I get it started after I come back from town. I need to go in and pick up my new prescription. I was in town yesterday too. Tired of going to town and especially tired of new prescriptions.

Nicole sent me a beautiful picture of the moon in Tahiti last night. When I was up sometime during the night I noticed how beautiful the moon was here too. I need to remember to watch for it to rise tonight as it will be full. Trusting the clouds will part so I can see it rise.

It is another cloudy, foggy day on the prairie. I didn’t sleep much last night so again the weather is matching my mood. I’m ready to run away and find sunny skies and warm temperatures – someplace where there are no doctors or cancer or medications! Unfortunately I have too many doctor appointments to be gone for very long. So looking forward to getting this ablation over with and reclaiming my life free from doctors and cancer.

I could be cranky today if pushed that way. I was cranky yesterday and I don’t like being cranky two days in a row. Trying to think of something to do that will push me out of being cranky. I’m almost afraid to start sewing as if it doesn’t go well it might get ugly fast. I feel like I am on a cliff and could jump off into dangerous territory very easily.

I’m sure part of my mood has to do with the dropping thyroid levels. Being irritable is a side effect of low levels. Depression is another symptom. It helps to remind myself of that so I can step up my self-care and practice forgiveness with myself when I snap. I’m getting a bit concerned about my energy levels for my trip to Peru the first two weeks in December. Maybe I will be so excited to go that I can get out of this funk and enjoy the trip. It is still four weeks away so I’ll see how things unfold between now and then. No use borrowing trouble. It will be what it is.

The pharmacy called and my new prescription is ready to be picked up. Guess I will go into town and get it. Maybe I will have lunch while I am in town. I haven’t been eating very good lately. I’m sure I would feel better if I would eat better.

Cloudy day on the prairie. All is well – except for one cranky lady. And this too shall pass!

I am cranky today! I have had a headache since I got the two shots Tuesday. I have tried Advil and Tylenol and neither one will knock it out. I finally took one of my pain pills a bit ago to see if that will help. I didn’t get much sleep last night and am not feeling the best today.

It is a bittersweet day for my family as today is Chris’s birthday. We love you buddy and miss you. Keep sending rainbows to us!

I went into Emporia this morning to pick up three prescriptions. I had breakfast at Commercial Street Diner. My cousins were there so I sat and enjoyed their company while I ate. They even bought my breakfast. Thanks Jim and Sandy. I love you two!

After I ate I went to Wal-Mart to get a pattern so I can make some aprons with the material I picked up Tuesday. After this headache goes away I will get one cut out and started. Trusting I will remember how to sew. It has been years since I tried to sew something. I picked up a few more things on my Thanksgiving dinner list. Almost have everything on my list except produce items which I can’t buy too far in advance. I’ll start looking for a huge turkey. Some years they are hard to find.

I got a chain to put the mustard seed charm a dear friend gave me last week. I tried to put it on when I got home from Emporia but it wasn’t going easy so I set it aside and will try again later. My vision is a bit blurry today and for some reason my hands were a bit shaky.

Nicole text me at 3:00 this morning to let me know she had gotten to her hotel room safely in Tahiti. Always good to hear she traveled safely. Trusting she will have fun while she is there. It took 18 hours of travel time to get there.

Nothing else on my to-do list for the day. Think I will put myself in time-out and take a nap and see if I can get rid of this headache. It is a cloudy, foggy day on the prairie which matches my mood today. Think I will stay away from people today for their safety.

One of those days I guess. Grateful I don’t have one like this very often. Trusting I will feel better soon and this headache will go away. Grateful I don’t have anything I have to do today so I can rest if needed. All is well on the foggy prairie today.

It has been a productive day and it isn’t even 9:15. I called the Endocrinologist office in Topeka and got my prescription ordered. She didn’t increase my dose as they will want me to have very low levels for the ablation. Yuck! It may be a long eight weeks until that happens.

I had two other prescriptions I needed refilled too so got those ordered. I hate the automated phone systems. Always feels like a huge win to get through the system successfully.

The best news of the morning is I got enrolled in my health coverage for next year. I reduced my projected income since I am going on Medicare in August. That increased the subsidy I will get and the net effect is it lowers my monthly premium to a little over $150 a month. The best news is it also lowered my deductible which in this plan is the same as my out-of-pocket maximum for the year to $3,600. With this plan I won’t even have to pay any co-pay for doctor visits after I hit my deductible. I will hit my out-of-pocket maximum in January or February. The panel of thyroid tests that have already been ordered to be done in early February will almost hit my deductible alone.

The health care enrollment process was very smooth and easy. I was surprised I got into the system as I expected it to be full and slow. This has been the easiest year so far. I am grateful I don’t have to submit documents verifying the income drop. Looking forward to August though when I go on Medicare. Wonder if I have to meet deductibles again when that happens?

I checked to make sure the drugs I am currently taking are covered and they are. The current providers I am using are in-network too. I won’t have an HMO next year so if I decide I need a second opinion I can go out-of-state and have that done, as long as I find a provider in their network. The new plan will give me a raise for next year! Love when that happens!

I forgot yesterday I do have a Doctor’s appointment next week with the surgeon. I haven’t spoken to him since the day I had surgery so will be anxious to hear him tell me what he actually saw during surgery. He comes to Emporia so I don’t have to drive to Topeka to see him. I doubt I will have to go back to see him unless I will need further surgery for some reason.

I need to remember to call the lady that did my mammogram yesterday and give her the Mayo Clinic medical records fax number so she can get a copy of my last mammogram. It was done in 2008 so don’t know if they will still have the records or not.

Have some friends coming over this afternoon. That will make the day go by faster. Tomorrow I need to go into Emporia and pick up the prescriptions and some groceries. Saturday evening I am volunteering at the Pioneer Bluffs Party in the Barn event. I hope it isn’t too cold. May need to dig out my long underwear. I sure am feeling the cold right now.

Finished another shawl last night. Need to dig out some fancy yarn and make a hat and scarf. I’ll probably have to dig out my ball winder too. Sometimes that is an easy process but when it goes bad it goes really bad.

When I called the Endocrinologist this morning she scheduled a blood draw for December 15. Still not sure when we start talking about the ablation process but guess it will happen when it is supposed to. I don’t have an appointment to see her until February. I’ll need to remember to call her before I leave for Peru if I haven’t heard from her by then. Maybe she will call me after the ultrasound results are in. Those results might dictate something else needs to happen before the ablation can happen.

Good day. My to-do list is complete for the day. Time to have some fun and enjoy the day. All is well on the prairie today!

Another Doctor day. Had my physical today. Was surprised he didn’t do a Pap smear as I haven’t had one since 2008 but oh well. I had a complete hysterectomy in 2003 so maybe I don’t need one anymore. I still do have my cervix though. I even shaved my legs last night in preparation for it.

I agreed to take the shingles vaccine and I got a tetanus booster as I hadn’t had a booster in 15 years. My arm is already sore from the two shots. I did refuse the flu shot again. They are required to ask if I want one every time I go into the office.

Instead of smashing a pumpkin for Halloween I got my boobs smashed. I hadn’t had a mammogram since 2008. They haven’t changed any! They requested my records from my last one but I just threw away that information a couple weeks ago when I cleaned out my files. One of the few things I have thrown away that I wished I hadn’t. Oh well, they will just have to deal with out my previous information.
I was surprised I was able to get the mammogram done today. They had just had a cancellation and after my physical I was able to get it done today.

I lucked out with not having to have a blood draw as they still had extra blood leftover from the draw last Friday.

We decided I didn’t need to be referred to the Cardiologist as I am not having any current symptoms. If the rapid heart beat and shortness of breath returns he will refer me then. He correctly guessed I am getting tired of going to see Doctors. Although he did say since I have met my out-of-pocket deductible for the year it would be a good time to go if I wanted to. That really doesn’t seem to be enough of a reason to have a test done though.

He told me my liver ALT numbers weren’t too impressive even though they were well above range. He said that was all part of the process and things will settle down after I have the ablation and get my thyroid meds stabilized.

I gained another pound since Friday. He predicts I will gain at least 15 more pounds until things get settled. I ask if I could opt out of that choice! Damn! The glory days of losing weight easily are over. He told me not to extreme diet or to starve myself as that will cause even more problems later and probably wouldn’t do any good anyways.

He ordered some sort of Colonguard test to be sent to me that I will do at home. Not sure what is involved with that but it is a home colon test. If it comes back positive then you have to have the real deal done.

The best news of the day is I walked out without a new prescription. He decided not to give me a 90 day script for the two new drugs he had added after I was in the hospital as he thinks I can come off of them after the ablation. I can get two refills before the insurance company starts yelling at me to do the ninety day mail-in thing.

Just as I was finishing up getting my boobs smashed Craig called. He was on his way home from Topeka from a doctor’s appointment. We met at Radius and had a late lunch or early dinner as it was after 4:00 when we met. Today would have been our 39th wedding anniversary so it was nice to share part of the day with him. Glad we are still friends.

I haven’t heard from the Endocrinologist about my medication refill. I sent her a note via MyChart yesterday. I’ll have to call her office tomorrow. I don’t like being ignored like this.

As far as I know I will get a break from doctors until my ultrasound on November 14 once I get my medication refill sorted out tomorrow.

I picked up the eye drops the eye doctor recommended I try today while I was in town. I’ll start them tomorrow to see if they help with the blurriness I have been having. Picked up some more laxative. This slowing down of my system slows everything down! Crazy!

On my way home I went into Cottonwood Falls. There was a fabric give away and I wanted to pick some up to make some aprons. I found four different pieces that will make cute aprons. One of my dear friends organized the fabric exchange or give away. I didn’t take any fabric in but they were glad I came in and took some home. Good job Sharon!

We had some snow flurries today. The streets were wet when I went into Cottonwood Falls. They got more moisture than Emporia had gotten. It is to be in the 60’s tomorrow. Gotta love Kansas weather.

Glad the physical is over and done and checked off my list. Still need to get my teeth cleaned and I will have my to-do list the Endocrinologist gave me done.

Cold. Snow flurries. Halloween. All is well on the prairie today.

Went to KC today for an eye doctor appointment and lunch with Nicole. Bought some more bras while I was at the mall which is where my eye doctor’s Office is. The eye doctor thinks my blurriness is caused by dry eyes and recommended a lubricating eye drop. I am to use it four times a day for one month then am to call her and let her know if the blurriness went away. She didn’t see anything in my eyes that would suggest any other cause. She dilated my eyes today – I hate that. It gives me a headache. My prescription changed slightly but not enough to warrant new lenses. Dry eyes is a side effect of hypothyroidism so that diagnosis feels correct.

Kathy, Nicole and I had lunch at Chipotle. It is one of my favorite places to eat lunch when I go to KC. I don’t think I have ever had a bad experience there. I was not a fan of their new Queso though. Think I will stick to the quacamole from now on. Nicole is leaving for Tahiti on Wednesday for her next adventure.

When I got home I got a call from the ultrasound place. My appointment is for November 14 in Topeka. Good thing it isn’t urgent. That 90 day deadline confuses me as the professionals don’t seem to be in a hurry to get things scheduled. Haven’t heard from the Endocrinologist office yet about my blood tests. I have enough pills to last till Thursday so I will wait until Wednesday to call them if they haven’t called me by then. I have a refill on my synthetic thyroid medication but am thinking they will want to increase the dosage as my levels are still dropping.

Got another set of blood work results via email this morning. My liver is not very happy and the ALT results were elevated. They have doubled in two weeks. I told Kathy my liver is pouting as it doesn’t have the thyroid to pick on. Hashimoto is an autoimmune disease which is caused by the liver. I’ll find out tomorrow at my physical if the elevation of ALT is normal after a thyroid is removed or if it is something else I will have to have checked out. The good news is the B6 seems to be helping me absorb more potassium as that level had increased to within .1 of being in range. My blood calcium level was really good. I will find out tomorrow if I need to have a consultation with a cardiologist to make sure the thyroid storm didn’t damage my heart.

Finally heard back from the leader of the retreat in Peru and he cleared me to attend even with the thyroid ablation that will be happening either before I go or when I return. Yeah! He did recommend if possible I have it done when I return home but if I can get it done before they will work with me. Not sure I want to travel after I have it done as you can be radioactive for up to three months after the procedure. Even though I can carry a letter from the doctor explaining why I set off the alarms at airport security I’m not sure I want to deal with that hassle. Especially since I will be traveling to a foreign country. Since the ultrasound isn’t until November 14 I probably don’t have time to get it done before I leave November 29. Now I can have Thanksgiving with my kids and not be in isolation. Looks like the ablation procedure will happen around Christmas though. That’s OK as Christmas is my least favorite holiday. Gives me a reason to skip it this year.

Did some reading about the grid for thyroid cancer. I have 29 points which is complied as a result of the type of cancer I have, the size that was found, and my age. The number of points you have dictates what the protocol for treatment is. From what I read if I go over 30 points they will recommend I have radiation treatment too. If the ultrasound shows any lymph node involvement that will add points. Also if the full body scan shows any cancer anywhere else in my body that will add points. The cancer marker results in my blood test can also add points depending on how high that result is. Fingers crossed nothing else shows up! I don’t have much wiggle room as I am close to being in the needing radiation range already.

One step at a time! No use borrowing trouble or worrying about what might happen. Thinking that is why the APRN didn’t want to broad brush what might happen. Until she gets the results of more tests she can’t tell me with certainty what needs to happen. Wished she had said that though instead of brushing me off. I do better when I prepare myself for several different outcomes.

Good news day all in all. Nothing seriously wrong with my eyes. I can still do the retreat in Peru!
Got to see Nicole. Safe trip to and from KC.

Cold and windy day on the prairie. I have a cranky liver. All is well on the prairie today!

Lazy day on the prairie today. Not feeling very motivated to do anything. I finished knitting a shawl this morning and have another one started. May be a day where I do nothing but knit.

My empty space week is filling up quickly. Monday I have an eye doctor appointment in KC followed by lunch with Nicole. Tuesday I have my physical. Wednesday some friends are coming over in the afternoon. So far Thursday and Friday are empty space days.

I decided to keep track of how many medical encounters this cancer is causing to happen. So far since I was in the hospital in September I have had 15. I am almost afraid to tally up how much it is costing. So grateful I have hit my out-of-pocket expense total for the year.

How in the world do people that have cancer and work manage all the doctor appointments and continue to work? I was trying to figure out what happened to September and October and realized all the appointments I have had and will continue to have. I have a feeling November and December will have as many if not more.

It is a beautiful day today. Supposed to get up to 70. Nice jump from yesterday’s high. Makes my spirits much higher when it isn’t so cold outside. With my thyroid levels so low I am really starting to feel the cold. Quite a switch from the excessive heat intolerance I had earlier this summer. Wonder where the middle ground is for me?

My new iPad has symbols above the letters on the keypad. Anyone know how to turn them off? I keep getting numbers in my words.

I was going to go into Emporia for lunch today at the Surly Mermaid but I happened to see on Facebook Amanda posted she is sick today and is not coming out. Trust she gets to feeling better soon. May have to come up with another option for the day. For some reason all I want to do today is eat.

I have made five shawls since I started making them again last week. 16 skeins of yarn used up. Now to figure out what the heck I am going to do with the shawls. They will pile up quickly at this rate. Think I will make up some scarfs and hats after I finish the shawl I am working on. It will work up some of the fancy yarn but not sure what I will do with scarfs and hats either. Eventually they might find a home. I think I still have a basket full in my closet from when I lived in my apartment and knitted a bunch up after my Camino walk and I couldn’t walk much as my feet hurt so bad.

I finally crashed last night and got some sleep. I took a nap yesterday and slept for two hours and was able to sleep last night too. I was way overdue to crash. I’m tired today as a result. Sure wish I could spread my sleep out and get three or four hours of sleep every night without waking up. Doesn’t happen very often these days. I will try my new supplements tonight and see how I do.

I can finally feel the V in the lower part of my neck. The swelling has almost disappeared from surgery. It is still tender if I push on the area around the incision site but otherwise not bad.

Need to give some thought about Christmas. I have gotten the grandkids their presents so now need to decide what to do for my kids. They aren’t as much fun to buy for as the little ones are. I don’t like buying stuff for myself or anyone else. The grandkids have birthdays in December and January so will have to come up with a gift for that too. I am not a good gift buyer.

I continue to read about thyroid cancer to prepare and educate myself about what might be ahead for me. Good news is chemotheraphy is rarely used for this type of cancer. That is good because I would refuse it anyways. There is a possibility I may need radiation treatment after the iodine ablation but that is unknown at this point. It will depend on if the cancer has spread beyond the thyroid. I will find that out either when they do the ultrasound or when they do a total body scan as part of the iodine treatment. One step at a time!

I haven’t heard from the retreat Director from Peru yet. He may have a group in and can’t get to his email yet. Still planning on going in December at this point but reminding myself to stay flexible
in case we need to postpone it to January.

I am feeling the need to get this ablation process over and done with. I found a good website about it and it sounds a bit overwhelming. I don’t like having things like that in front of me to think about. I just want it over and done with. I have a very active imagination and I can quickly make these things into something bigger than they are if I have too much time to think about them. You have to follow a special low iodine diet for two weeks before the procedure. Not sure if I can do that while in Peru as I won’t be fixing the food. If I wait to start the diet until we come home I won’t be able to complete the procedure in the 90 day time-frame. It will all work out! Great lesson for me in faith and patience! Not my strong suit!

Beautiful day on the prairie today. Bright blue skies. Lots of sunshine warming up my soul! All is well!

Went into Emporia this morning to get some things. I dropped off the unused sleeping pills at the pill drop at the Health Center. Stopped at the Health food store to get some sleeping supplements the Endocrinologist recommended I try. Looked for some beets and acorn squash for Kathy but didn’t find any. Picked up the liquid screen saver stuff for my new iPad from Verizon.

Went into Cottonwood Falls on my way home and went to the Health Fair. I had my carotid arteries checked via ultrasound for free. They are clear but there is a remnant of my thyroid still there on the left side. I’m glad I am having the detailed ultrasound done soon to make sure what that is all about. The lady in front of me had something on her thyroid and the lady doing the test told her to get in to have it checked out sooner rather than later.

Met Dr. Brittan and talked to him briefly to see if he could help with the thyroid cancer. He does chiropractic as well as accupunture. He said it might help keep me calm and relaxed through this and boost my immune system. Rachel was doing massages and that might be helpful too.

I made an eye doctor appointment for next Monday. I have been having some blurry vision and the Endocrinologist recommended I get them checked out. My physical is Tuesday. Thinking I am going to not be able to make any commitments due to all the doctor appointments I am going to be going to.

I wanted to get to KC to see Nicole before she leaves for a Tahiti so going to the eye doctor in KC gives me a good reason to go. I also need to get some more bras so I don’t have to do laundry so often. I think Kathy is going to ride up with me. Nicole is free for lunch so it will be a fun day.

I noticed this morning my new iPad case is designed for a right-handed person. The home button is on the wrong side for me if I use the stand-up portion of the case. There is no way to change that as it only fits in the case one way. Wonder if they make left-handed cases?

It got down to the low 20’s last night. We had a good hard freeze. I could see the frost on the deck and grass this morning. Maybe my allergies will calm down now. I sneezed a bunch this morning. Might be from dust in the furnace vents. They haven’t been cleaned for awhile.

I got very little sleep again last night even though I took one of my new sleeping pills. I keep thinking they will start working. At least they don’t make me feel drugged the next day like the other two I tried did. Wish they would help me sleep though. I will talk to my doctor at my physical Tuesday but thinking I will not try another sleeping pill. I picked up some stuff at the Health food store I am going to try next. My body needs to read and follow the rule book!

Still sitting with all the information from yesterday. What keeps coming to mind is how much is too much? How do I know? I guess I will take each thing and allow myself to make decisions one procedure or doctor’s appointment at a time. I don’t have to commit to the entire protocol right now – especially since I don’t even know what it is. If it feels right in the moment I will do it. If not, I will just say no. My preference is to do only the things that are essential and not do the fluff. My problem is I can’t tell the difference right now.

I send an email to the Peru Retreat guy last night letting him know what I am facing. I’m anxious to hear back from him to let me know what he recommends. We can delay the trip if needed as we got flight insurance. It feels important I get the radioactive iodine treatment done sooner rather than later. Again though, I’m not sure how important.

Kathy is working today so I will have a quiet afternoon at home. Nothing on my agenda to do so might sit and knit. I do want to ride my inside bike for a bit. I need to start moving my ass again and I enjoy the bike. I can read while I do it and the time goes fast. Tomorrow is another free day. Nice to have a quiet weekend at home. Next week is starting to fill up and I bet I have to add another trip to Topeka sometime next week so I can get the ultrasound done.

Got the results of three of the thyroid blood tests back. My T3 and T4 results keep dropping. They are still in range but they are now on the low side of the range. These are the two that were very elevated when I had the thyroid storm. The TSH level is up to 0.4. It was .002 when I was in the hospital in September. It is now at the very low end of the range which is 0.4 – 4.00. Thinking they will increase the dosage of my thyroid medicine Monday when they call in a new prescription for me. I’m not used to having these levels so low. Starting to feel the sluggishness that comes with that.

Thanks for all the love and support being shared with me. I truly believe it makes a difference in my healing. I know all is well.

My head is still spinning a bit from my Doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I’m glad Kathy was with me as it was a lot to digest. They have a grid of some sort and that dictates what happens next. The APRN was a bit vague for my liking. She wants to take it one step at a time and not give me a very broad brush over view of what will happen. Today they took three pints – I mean vials of blood for seven different thyroid tests. Those results will dictate some of what happens next.

I will be having a very detailed ultrasound of my neck when ever they call me to schedule the appointment. This is to check for any lymph node involvement and to establish a base level in case something comes up later. I had to schedule a physical with my primary doctor before I could leave their office. To my surprise I got an appointment for next Tuesday. Evidently they need good bench marks of several markers so they can monitor me closely over the next year. Who knows what my primary doctor will dream up I need done. I haven’t had a physical, mammogram or a Pap smear since 2008.

Within 90 days of surgery I will have to do a radioactive iodine treatment to kill off any remaining thyroid cells left. Other than having to have two injections – one each the two days prior to the actual iodine treatment I don’t know what that will involve. I had a reaction to iodine a long time ago and am not sure what will have to happen to make sure I can safely take a strong dose of iodine. Her first plan is that they will pre-medicate me and I will be able to do the treatment at home but it may have to happen as an in-patient process so they can monitor me better in case I have a reaction. She needed to consult with the doctor and will give me more details when it gets closer.

She said something about some sort of test two days after the initial dose of iodine to check to see if it is working. Second or even third doses are sometimes required and treatment can last for up to seven days but she was pretty vague about that. She kept saying one thing at a time. Don’t know if Santa can safely come to my house as I may be radio-active and in isolation on Christmas.

This will be a lesson in trust for me and I have little trust in the medical profession. She didn’t give me a number or name to follow-up with in case no one calls me about the ultrasound. I have no idea how long to give them before I bug her about it. She said she would get back to me on the blood test results but she said that last time and didn’t. I may need to rattle some cages if I don’t hear from her.

I ask about my low potassium levels and she said that is something my primary doctor needs to manage. Hope I can keep straight who to call about what. She did give me a printout of foods high in potassium. A fast food cheeseburger and French fries are two of the higher foods listed. I can do that! However I gained six pounds since I was in her office last time six weeks ago. All of that came on over the last two weeks as I was still losing weight when I was at my primary doctor’s office two weeks ago. Oh the joys of hypothyroidism. Weight gain is a normal occurrence even with strict diet and lots of exercise (which I am not doing). Guess it is time to start watching my diet and get my ass moving again. Betting my thyroid levels are low now and they will increase the amount of thyroid medication I am taking.

I told her I was going to Peru for two weeks the first of December and she said they could get what they need done even with me gone for two weeks. I ask if I could do the radio-active iodine treatment when I got back and she said I could wait until then. I will only have three weeks to get it in when I get home. There is that trust thing again. Do I trust they can get it scheduled in that short window of time? Not sure why the ninety day goal. Kathy and I were wondering who created that timeline – doctors, insurance companies, drug companies? Why 90 days? Why not 60 or 120? If 90 days is so important why did she make me wait three weeks after surgery to see her? See my trust thing here?

Now I need to get hold of the guy running the retreat in Peru and decide if I am going to be able to partake of the plant medicine. Their rules ask that you do not use any prescription drugs for three weeks before the retreat starts and for thirty days afterwards. He gave me an exception for my thyroid pills but not sure how he is going to feel about me taking radio-active iodine the week after I get back. If it causes a problem then I guess I can have it done before I leave. Not sure if he will let me come if I can’t do the plant medicine or if they can adjust to fit my needs. Oh my! It will all work out some way or other. We might end up on the beach in Lima instead of in the mountains by Cusco.

I have to have blood draws again in three months. That puts a damper on being away for most of January and February as I have an appointment February 2 to have that done. I made ten trips to Wichita to get my feet taken care of earlier this year. Today was my fourth trip to Topeka for my thyroid and it sounds like I will be going several more times over the next sixty days. Need to remember to deduct medical miles on this year’s income tax. Good thing I have met my out-of-pocket deductible for the year. I’ll very gladly let the insurance company pay for all the APRN and my primary doctor wants to do in the next sixty days. If they keep this up I will exceed my out-of-pocket limits for next year too.

I’m sure it isn’t as complicated as it feels to me in this moment. The nurse was probably right in saying to take it one step at a time. I like details and plans but guess I will have to put that aside and go with the flow that someone else is in charge of. Hard to give up control – especially when you don’t trust the medical field. Hard to know for sure if they are doing what is necessary or doing something so someone down the line makes more money. She didn’t use scare tactics to get me to do anything but I also didn’t decline anything other than a flu shot. Wish I felt more comfortable knowing what was absolutely necessary and what is not.

The good news of the day was my heating company called me and the burner heads came in. They sent a guy out while I was gone this afternoon to install them. I have a working furnace again! Love good service like that.

I had such a good time last night. Seven of us gathered around the fireplace inside and enjoyed a glass of wine, good food and visited with each other. It was so fun. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends. This was Kathy’s idea and it was a good one. Need to remember to do it again. Something very healing about being in the company of other like-minded women.

One step at a time is my new mantra. All is well on the prairie!

My sleeping pill didn’t work last night. I took it at 9:00 and realized at 10:00 I was still reading and not sleeping. The pill had felt light so maybe the medicine had fallen out of it. I will try again tonight. I got some sleep but not the three to four hours straight that I am craving.

I was wide awake before 6:00 so got up and took a shower. I had a batch of apple butter in the jars by 8:30 this morning. Guess the early bird does catch the worm. Feels good to have that job done.

I went to Wal-Mart after I finished the apple butter. I needed stuff to make black bean salsa for tonight. I picked up a new case for my new iPad as the new iPad is slimmer and kept slipping too far down in the other case. I also got a keyboard so typing is easier. Not sure I am a fan of it yet but I’ll keep using it and see how I do. Picked up the ingredients for the green bean casserole for Thanksgiving dinner today. Each time I go to the store between now and Thanksgiving I will pick up a few more things off my list. Makes it seem like I spend less when I do my final shopping the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I was off routine this morning as I took my shower before I came out to the living room. As a result I forgot to take my thyroid pill until after I ate breakfast I will probably have a blood draw tomorrow to check my levels. Hope I didn’t mess that up.

I am so thankful tomorrow is Friday and I will find out if I need any further treatment for the thyroid cancer. I have waited three weeks to find out what this is all about and what I have to look forward to. I will come unglued if the APRN isn’t prepared with answers. Trusting she will be.

Since I was up so early I got to see the sun rise. I love the colors in the sky about an hour before the sun rises, especially in the fall. The orange and turquoise colors are magnificent. Makes me want to move to the southwest or redecorate my house using those colors.

Feel like I have done a whole days work already. It is only 10:30 and I have done what I wanted to get done today. I got my bedroom and bathroom cleaned yesterday. It was really dirty. When I have guests coming I usually run out of steam before I do my bedroom so it had been awhile since I cleaned it. Still need to do the closets but they don’t bother me so much so it may be awhile before I get to them.

Looking forward to this evening. Kathy has invited a group of women over so we can watch the sunset and drink wine. It will be a delightful evening. I love having company come over. Hope we can be outside but it depends on when the cold front comes in.

May need to use the electric blanket tonight as I don’t have a furnace. The heater repairman has to replace the burner heads. Parts were ordered yesterday but not sure when they will be in and he can get back to fix them. Might be a good weekend to run away. Grateful I had the guy come out for the annual check on the furnace and he found the problem. Propane was just going up the stack as the burner wasn’t using it correctly. Dangerous situation. Not to mention the waste of propane.

Feeling anxious. Knowing all is well. It is a beautiful morning on the prairie but change in many forms is coming. Freezing temperatures are not too far away.

Sleep at last! It took less than an hour to fall asleep and I slept for three or four hours straight. Was able to go back to sleep off and on for the next four hours. I do not feel drugged today. I do need to figure out a way to stay awake longer today though as I was asleep before 9:00 last night and wide awake at 4:00 this morning. May need to take a nap today if I can so I can stay awake until at least 10:00 tonight. I am so very grateful the new sleeping pills worked. Trusting my body will remember how to sleep and I will sleep longer each night before I wake.

My new iPad and I are getting acquainted. The transfer of data went smoothly for the most part. The new iPad has some new tricks I need to get familiar with. As with most Apple products it is user-friendly. I just have to break old habits. I do need to get the screen coated like I had done with my phone. It is supposed to help prevent cracked screens.

Finished a shawl last night and have another one almost half done. I would much rather knit than clean. Kathy is having some guests tomorrow evening so that might provide me some motivation to clean. No promises though! My bedroom and bathroom really need cleaned. I never did get those two rooms detailed cleaned earlier.

Have some potato soup cooking and it smells wonderful. Good soup weather with the weather turning so cool. I love soup in the winter time. Warms my soul as well as my body.

Yesterday a dear friend gave me a charm that had belonged to her beloved grandmother. The charm is a little ball with a mustard seed in it. Next time I go to town I will get a chain for it. What a delightful gift. I am so honored she gave it to me and will wear it and feel the love it gives off.

My friends have been so supportive of my journey. I am so blessed to have them in my life and treasure the love and friendship they offer me.

Another bright blue skies day although it is cooler out than it looks. Not quite so windy today but the wind is still in a hurry to get somewhere. Thinking it is in a hurry to bring some cold weather my way. Not sure I am ready for that but Mother Nature didn’t ask my opinion.

I need to get something to make to serve tomorrow night but didn’t go to town with Kathy when she went a bit ago. I need a whole day at home. I’ll have to go tomorrow unless I can find something to make with what I have at home. I have to go to Topeka Friday so won’t be able to stay home that day either. Next week is totally clear so maybe I can string a couple of days together and stay home then. For some reason this week got really busy for me. I like the empty space weeks better.

Soup is cooking. Sun is shining. The rooster is crowing. All is well on the prairie today!

Another day spent away from home. Kathy and I met a friend for lunch and then went to Prairie Past Times for their art afternoon. Always fun to spend time with dear friends.

After that we went into Emporia as Kathy was going to get her ears checked and they ask her to bring someone with her. After waiting for over thirty minutes past her appointment time she decided to leave. The energy of that place was not good. I could hear the guy selling them talking to some customers. He was using fear to drive their decision. That always turns me off.

I called Walgreen’s to see if my sleeping pills were ready. They had a technical glitch and hadn’t received their shipment today. Initially they told me I would have to wait one more day before they could fill my prescription. Thankfully Alice was working and she graciously agreed to call to see if another pharmacy in town had them in stock. She called me back and told me Grave’s had them. I had to go to Walgreen’s to pick up the prescription paper to take to Grave’s. We went to Grave’s to get it filled and thankfully that only took five minutes or so. My insurance picked up 100% of the cost since I have reached my out-of-pocket maximum.

We filled the car with gas and stopped at the Health Food Store to get something Kathy needed and came home. My new iPad had been delivered while we were gone. It is charging now. I will get it set up this evening after it finishes charging.

I was up at the butt crack of dawn this morning. I got to watch the sun rise. When you go to bed when the sun does you get up early. I got some sleep last night off and on. I’m so excited to try the new sleeping pills and see if they help. Not sure I will try a fourth one if they don’t.

Almost finished knitting a shawl today. Only have the last 15 or 20 rows to go. I started it this morning before the sun came up. Did some laundry, knitted, and visited with friend today. If I hadn’t gone into Emporia it would have been a nice day. So far it looks like I will get to stay home all day tomorrow. As far as I know I don’t have to go to town. Kathy invited some friends over for Thursday evening and I need to make something to serve. I was going to get stuff today while I was in town and forgot. Maybe I can get stuff at the grocery store in Strong City instead.

I sent a note to the Endocrinologist informing her of the pathology results and letting her know I expect to find out what, if anything, is needed next. I don’t think I could handle getting there and finding out she hadn’t read the results and didn’t have a plan ready for me. I will see if sending the note does any good. I have reached the point I need to know what is going on. It has been three weeks since I found out I have cancer and I haven’t spoken to a doctor about it yet.

My house is reaching the point I need to clean it. It is starting to bother me. Good thing I will be home tomorrow so I can get at it. Still need to get my apple butter made. I keep forgetting to make it. Maybe I can work on that tomorrow too.

Feeling a bit that I have put things on hold again waiting to hear what the doctor says Friday. My gut tells me future treatment of some sort will be needed. Sure hope I am wrong. If it is they will have to work around my Peru trip. I am not cancelling that trip. I need it for my mental health!

Craving a day at home. It is a windy day on the prairie today. All is well!

I think I ran away and joined the circus! What a day this has been already. Kathy and I went into Emporia this morning. We left before 9:00 and didn’t get home until 1:30. I dropped a package in the UPS box, went to the bank, went to Bluestem to get chicken feed and oats, stopped at the Vet’s office to get Bravecto for the cats and dogs, and then went to Verizon.

Two hours later we came out of Verizon and did our shopping at Wal-Mart and returned to Verizon to find he was almost finished setting up my new phone. Kathy let me add a line to her plan. It will save me over $40 a month. Love when I can figure out a way to save money. I did buy a new phone and upgraded from the Apple 6 to the Apple 8. The pictures didn’t load so he had to retry that and was able to get them to load from the old phone to the new one. So far I can’t tell a lot of difference in the phone. The new case makes it much slimmer which I like better. The buttons seem to respond easier too. I got a discount if I financed my new phone. I didn’t want that on Kathy’s bill so I paid for all but one dollar of it and he financed one dollar. Oh the games you play to save money.

He put some sort of liquid screen protector on it that hardens the screen. When my new iPad comes I need to do that to it.

After we finally were done at Verizon I stopped by my doctor’s office for yet another prescription for sleeping pills. This one is strong enough the pharmacy needed a paper copy of the prescription and the doctor’s office couldn’t send the prescription electronically to the pharmacy. We dropped off the prescription and came home so I will have to go back into town to pick up the prescription. Kathy had a client coming and we had groceries that needed to get put away and I was done with being in town for a bit.

As soon as we got home the guy came to do my quarterly pest service. As soon as he left my friend came to pick up the newsletter left-overs. As she was walking out the door Kathy’s yoga client came. I tell you it is a zoo here today.

While we were gone FedEx attempted to deliver a package that wasn’t supposed to come until Thursday. I was told it didn’t need a signature but FedEx didn’t leave the package as they require one. They are to attempt to deliver it again tomorrow.

Talked to Nicole and we got our seat reservations made for our flights to Peru. Haven’t attempted to make our seat reservations for the short flight between Lima and Cusco but that flight is so short it really doesn’t matter where we sit.

Over four hours in town was too long today. I was tired of people before we came home. The guy at Verizon was knowledgeable and friendly but he talked way too much. Hoping my second trip into town will be quick and easy and short. Sure trusting these sleeping pills will do the trick. I have a growing stash of pills I no longer want or need. I’ll have to watch for a pill dump day and get rid of them.

While I was shopping at Wal-Mart I didn’t have my list with me as it was on Notes on my phone which I left at Verizon. I only forgot one thing on my list. Not bad!

Need to go back into town. Trusting it will be a quick trip!

Windy. Temperature dropping. Thinking we are in for a major weather change. All is well on the zoo – I mean prairie today!

Have almost two inches in my rain gauge from yesterday’s rain. I am grateful for every drop. My yard does not feel very wet as the rain came nice and gentle and the ground was able to soak it up. It was so nice going to bed last night as I had the window cracked open and could hear the gentle rain and the thunder rolling across the hills.

I went to bed at 6:30 last night. I read for a couple of hours and attempted sleep. It was hit and miss all night long. I think I saw every hour on my clock. I did sleep but not for very long at a time. Grateful for what sleep I did get. I do feel rested today which I didn’t yesterday.

I didn’t take my shower today until after 2:00. It has been a beautiful day to sit in my pajamas and knit. The sky is bright blue today and it is finally warming up. The air feels crisp and clean and you can definitely tell fall is in the air. Love days like this!

Finished one shawl yesterday and have another one almost half way done. I had to go down to my basement store-room and get some trim yarn. Ended up reorganizing the room I have it stored in. It is exciting to think I may get a tote or two of shawl and blanket yarn emptied out. I’ll see how long this urge to get this yarn used up lasts. I had forgotten what a mess knitting makes. I don’t like the tote sitting out in my living room. Guess I can put it in my closet and fetch yarn daily from there. The yarn sheds and leaves yarn fibers everywhere that looks like dog hair. Maybe I can blame Sophia!

I sent a note to my doctor asking for a third prescription for sleeping pills. I remember years ago I used one and ask him if I could try that one this time. I’ll see what he has to say Monday. Kathy is thinking the insurance company makes him prescribe what he has tried before they will allow him to do the real deal. I do better without the two he has tried so far.

I am making a list of questions to ask my Endocrinologist Friday. She only allowed thirty minutes for my appointment. Trusting she can talk fast. I have lots of questions.

Today has been a much better day for me. Realized yesterday my latest round of crankiness started when I started taking this last round of sleeping pills. I am used to not sleeping. I am not used to the drugged feeling. It was depressing me. Thankful I figured out what was going on and stopped it. Sometimes I am a bit slow to figure that stuff out.

Need to go to town in the morning and get critter food. I had stocked up before surgery and they have gone through the stash I had for them. I need dog food, chicken feed and oats. May need to ask for help at the stores to lift the 50 pound sacks as I don’t think it would be wise for me to do so myself. I can tell I am still healing inside from surgery. My recovery has gone so smoothly I don’t want to slow it down by doing something stupid like lifting three 50 pound sacks of feed. I also need to remember to get me some food. I have a tendency to forget that.

Probably should at least think about doing some house cleaning. I haven’t done much since I had guests the end of September. I so enjoy a completely cleaned house but that somehow doesn’t provide the motivation for me to clean unless I have company coming. Sure wish it would stay cleaner longer than it does.

Enjoying this beautiful day. Kansas doesn’t get much better than the show it is putting on today. All is well on the prairie!

I don’t think my new sleeping pills are going to work. I got almost no sleep at all last night. I am feeling drugged this morning. Thinking about taking another one and going to bed very soon. I looked the pill up and its primary purpose is to be used as an anti-depressant. Thinking I need to switch to pills designed primarily to make you sleep instead of pills that have a secondary use as a sleeping pill.

Almost have one prayer shawl made with yarn from the tote I brought up from the basement. I forgot how fast I can make one. I did half of it last night and have worked on it off and on this morning. My muscles are out of shape for knitting and I have to stop and rest them. I used to be able to make a whole shawl in one sitting without resting.

Baked a chicken pot pie for my early lunch. I hate turning the oven on for just one little thing but decided that is what I wanted to eat. I’m sure they are not very good for you but every once in a while I indulge and eat one. I needed warm, comfort food today for some reason.

It is a cloudy windy day on the prairie today. Rain is headed my way. I am grateful for any rain I receive. Have a touch of a headache today from the pollen blowing in the air. I’ll be grateful when the rain gets here and cleans the air.

Went down to the barn yesterday and couldn’t find any records to throw away. It is almost time to throw away 2011 but I really need to hold on to them for three more months. Since we had a tax audit for 2011 three years ago I hate to get too quick about throwing them away. The audit was closed with no tax change recommended although the letter allowed them room to investigate further should they decide to do so in the future. Trusting that was just legal language and our case was in fact closed. It was our first income tax audit ever. Grateful it closed fairly easily and they didn’t find anything.

Seriously thought about running away for three days but haven’t acted on it yet. Really can’t think of anywhere I want to go and with the storm coming in I decided to stay home as I don’t like to drive in rain. What I am running away from is myself and unfortunately I have to take myself with me where ever I go. I got really cranky last night and felt very angry. I put myself in time out by going to bed early. It would have been nice if I could have slept it off but that didn’t happen, even with taking a sleeping pill. Not much better today but I can’t do two cranky days in a row. Takes way too much energy to sustain that. What I really need is some sleep but that seems pretty elusive to find.

Have something on my calendar everyday this week. The pest guy is coming to service the house Monday and the heater guy is coming Wednesday. Luckily both are familiar with my house and won’t ask me stupid questions, I usually dislike dealing with service people. They talk a language I don’t understand and I never know if I am getting taken advantage of.

Friday is my appointment with the Endocrinologist to find out what if anything needs to be done for my thyroid cancer. I’ll be glad when the time comes for that appointment. Trusting she has a plan and has read the pathology report and is prepared with some answers for me.

My cell phone contract is up and I need to figure out what I want to do. Kathy has Verizon too so may look at her plan and add a line to her plan. Bet it would be cheaper that way. May have her go to town with me next week and see if that is possible. My phone is an older model that was reworked before I bought it. It is starting to not respond on certain parts of the screen. The fingerprint unlock only works about half the time. Not sure I want to pay $700 or more for a new phone though. I was going to look at Cellular One as they have a device that turns your cell phone into your internet provider. Having trouble finding information about it though. I think I am probably asking the wrong questions and don’t know the right question to ask. I’m not very knowledgeable about these things.

Got another explanation of benefits from my health insurance company yesterday. I have met the out-of-pocket maximum of over $6,000 for the year. I had the two foot surgeries earlier this year and met my $3,000 deductible when that happened. I have a policy that pays 80% after the deductible until I pay over $6,000 and then they pay 100%. Trusting I can get whatever treatments may be required done yet this year so the insurance company can pay the whole bill. My budget was blown in Sept and Oct with the unexpected doctor and hospital bills. I could have taken a nice trip with the over $9,000 I have had to pay from out-of-pocket expenses this year. First year I have used my insurance. Glad I had it. Can’t wait until I am 65 and my insurance premium will be reduced and the supplement picks up most of the cost. Come on August 2018!

Cranky. Tired. Windy. Cloudy. Sleep-deprived. Good thing I am home alone today. And this too will pass. All is well on the prairie today – just don’t call or come see me today! I might not play nice.

I picked up the Newsletter material at the printers this morning and had it to the post office two hours later. Good to have that project done and in the mail.

I remembered to take a sleeping pill last night. It took me several hours to fall asleep. I slept off and on the rest of the night. I am surprised at how long it takes me to fall asleep after I take a pill. Anyone else have this same experience? I talked to someone yesterday that takes the same kind I am taking and he said he is asleep in minutes after taking it. I can only dream of falling asleep so quickly. I sure don’t like the hangover effect I have in the afternoon after taking a sleeping pill.

Nothing planned for the rest of the day or the weekend. May go down to the barn and sort old records. Chase County is having a dump day tomorrow morning and I could take them there for free instead of paying to dump them at the Emporia dump. It would take several trips but I could do that.

I also need to clean out my garage again. However it is so windy today I’m not sure what ever I would sweep up would stay in a pile so I could get rid of it. Maybe I can sweep it with the doors closed.

Took a box to the recycling bin when I went into Cottonwood Falls to pick up the Newsletter material. Sure have reduced the amount of trash I set out each week by doing the recycling thing. Since I don’t have to sort it is easy to do. Wish I had started doing it a long time ago. Better late than never I guess.

I am in a throw away mood and I don’t have anything to throw away. Not sure where that urge is coming from. Best get down to the barn and see what I can find to throw away. Maybe I will go through my clothes and see what I can find to get rid of. My closet feels full to me right now and I know I have stuff I never wear any more. I have several extra pairs of shoes I need to get rid of.

Feeling a bit anxious today for some reason. Having trouble settling on something to do. Grateful I had the Newsletter to do today as that gave me something productive to do. Not sure what is behind this unsettled feeling. Probably has to do with the thyroid cancer and the not knowing what is going to happen with it. Feeling the need to tie up loose ends and I can’t find many loose ends to tie up.

Unsettled! That is what I am today. And this too will pass. It is a beautiful windy day on the prairie today.

I forgot to take a sleeping pill last night. I thought about it around midnight but decided it was too late to take it then. I don’t think I slept more than an hour all night. Sure makes for a long night and then a long day the next day when that happens.

Grateful I had some friends come visit me today. Made the day go by much faster. We had lunch at the new Cafe in Strong City. What I had wasn’t very good but the other two had the same thing and they thought it was very good. Maybe I got the bad piece of meat. We had a nice time visiting anyways.

Did some bookkeeping this morning. I pulled 2016 records to put in storage and cleaned out files. Worked on some tax prep stuff so it will be easy when I pull information to take to my accountant in February. I always feel a great sense of satisfaction when my files are better organized and I can easily find what I am looking for. When I did the stores books that was a big job but since I just have the three little companies it doesn’t take long to clean out my files.

Did some purging of old stuff I had held on to. Not sure why I had held on to some of it. I always like throwing stuff away. Don’t have much anymore to throw away.

Need to get down to the big barn and see what I can throw away down there. Every year I get to throw away another year of old McDonald’s files. We have to hold them for seven years so only the last three years of records left now. Every year I clear off another storage rack of records. They fill the back of a pickup when I take them to the dump.

I went downstairs and brought up a tote of shawl and blanket yarn in case the urge hits for me to knit. It is a better use of my time than playing computer games. My goal is to get several totes full of yarn knitted up this winter. I can go through a lot of yarn in a short amount of time if I go at it.

It is another perfect fall day on the prairie today. No wind today. Just a light breeze blowing through the house. Bright blue skies with birds and chickens talking. I haven’t gotten down to my girls yet today with their noon greens. They are probably yelling for me by now as I am several hours late with their treats.

Sure is nice to finally be feeling better. My energy level climbs more each and every day, in spite of no sleep. I didn’t realize how low I had gone. I think I had forgotten how good I really am supposed to feel. Still have a way to climb and I need to build back my endurance. Gets easier everyday!

The Newsletter didn’t get printed yet. Not sure when it might get done. Hoping it will be done sometime tomorrow so I can get it in the mail Saturday. Don’t have any plans so guess it really doesn’t matter.

Grateful for friends! Loving this weather. All is well on the prairie today!

Had a so-so night with the new sleeping pill. It took me over four hours to fall asleep but after I got to sleep I slept six hours straight – kinda. I remembered this morning waking up several times and the same thing had happened to wake me up but I couldn’t remember what it was that woke me up or if it was real that I actually woke up. May have been a dream.

I am still a bit sleepy this afternoon but I am sitting in my chair reading so maybe just need to get up and move my body to wake it up.

I went into Emporia this morning for breakfast. My favorite little cafe is closed for two weeks. Ended up at IHOP which just isn’t the same as my little local place. Did the Wal-Mart thing and went home. I did have to stop at Aldi’s as I forgot milk and at Casey’s for ice. I even had both items on my list but forgot to check my list. When will I learn?

Found out the Newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs that I will get ready to drop in the mail may be ready this afternoon. That will give me something productive to do for tonight and tomorrow morning. It isn’t a full mailing so it shouldn’t take too long to do. It always feels better when I can see that I actually accomplished something during a day.

Some friends are coming tomorrow for lunch and then a long visit. Those are my favorite days – catching up with friends. Need to remind myself to do days like that more often. Two days this week I was lucky enough to spend time with dear friends. I like that!

Surgery was two weeks ago today. I must say it was a fairly easy surgery to recover from. The worst part was the headache I had for several days. No more restrictions although it will probably be wise to not go hog crazy and for me to continue practicing good self-care for a bit. I’m sure I am still healing inside.

I did get my mowing done yesterday. It sure was dusty and windy out. I’m still finding dirt that blew in my ears while I was mowing. I may have to mow one more time this year but doubt much more than that. I didn’t have to mow the outer yard as that grass is already dead.

No weekend plans this weekend. I have thought about going some place this weekend jut to get away for a couple of nights. Haven’t figured out some place to go yet though. Maybe I will go down and dig through my yarn and find something fun to knit instead. It is supposed to rain all day Saturday and so it is probably not a good weekend to run away. One of my goals is to get a couple totes full of yarn knitted up this winter. I don’t have any shawls or blankets on hand to give away and I miss having some ready to give out. Lord knows I still have plenty of yarn to knit up.

While I was grocery shopping this morning I got stuff to make my first batch of the season of Chex Mix. My kids each get a big bag at Thanksgiving and at Christmas. That stuff is getting expensive to make. Sure like the homemade stuff better than the store-bought.

Won’t be long before I will need to start thinking about Christmas. It is my least favorite holiday and I dread even thinking about it. Since I am going to be gone the first two weeks of December I supposed I should get myself organized and give it some thought. Not looking forward to it this year. Anyone want to run away with me and just pretend it isn’t happening?

I think I could be cranky today if given a reason to become so. Trusting it will be a quiet day and I won’t get triggered. I don’t feel like I have much patience today. Not sure why. Just feeling like I am sitting on the ledge today and could be pushed into the cranky camp fairly easily. Need to get up and move my body but all I see that needs done is house cleaning and I am not in the mood for that today. Too windy out to go for a walk although I may go anyway and let the wind blow away this crankiness. Or maybe I will go take a nap and trust that when I wake up I will be in a better mood.

Bright blue skies. The wind is in a hurry today. My girls are singing their I just laid an egg song. All is well on the windy prairie today.

The new sleeping pill shows promise of good sleep sometime soon for me. I took two hours to fall asleep after I took it. I would sleep very deeply for two hours and then wake up. I wouldn’t be up very long and would be able to go back to sleep. That repeated three times during the night. When I got up this morning around 7:30 I didn’t feel drugged. Trusting that when it gets used to me and I get used to it we can make good sleep together that will last six or seven hours straight through.

I am a bit sleepy this afternoon. I had a big day yesterday so it may be from that and not a bounce reflex from the sleeping pill.

Nicole and I booked our flights to Peru this morning. We fly into Lima, Peru on November 29. We will spend the night close to the airport in Lima as we have an afternoon flight the next day to Cusco, Peru. We will have one night in Cusco before the retreat starts that Friday. The retreat is at a resort about two hours from Cusco. They pick us up at the Starbucks in Cusco. After the ten-day retreat we will stay over for two more days and visit Machu Picchu. After that we fly back to Lima on the 13th and then fly back to Kansas on the 14th. We have a 2:30am flight out of Lima on our return flight. We get in to KC around 2:00 that afternoon. Both ways we stop in Houston for several hours.

Feels real now that we have our deposit for the retreat paid as well as our flights booked. I need to figure out if I need any clothes to take. It is summer time in Peru but as we will be in the high altitude it will be chilly and probably rainy. Neither one of us check luggage so what I take will need to fit in my carry on bag and back pack. I usually do hand washing on trips like this. I do need to take my hiking boots. I may end up wearing them as they take up so much space in my bag. I may need to get an extra bag to bring home and check it as they have great things I like to buy. Maybe I can stash an empty bag in my carry on bag. Last time I went I had to buy a bag to bring all my treasures home in.

Felt the urge to go see John of God again this morning. I am looking for some place to go in January and February and going there sure feels right to me at this moment. I won’t do anything about that trip until I find out on the 27th of October what might need to happen for the thyroid cancer. After I know what if anything needs to be done I can figure out if it works for me to go to Brazil.

Last time I went to see John of God I rented a little apartment instead of staying in a hotel. It was very comfortable and I felt very safe. The only disadvantage is there wasn’t a good grocery store close by so purchasing grocery items to fix my own meals was a challenge. There are restaurants to eat at but that gets old after a while. If I go for two months I would want to do more cooking myself. There is a grocery store a taxi ride away and if I went there for two months I could do that. It was hardly worth buying things last time as I was only there ten days.

The village where John of God works at is very cheap to stay at. My biggest expense would be the flight tickets and the taxi trip to get to the village and back to the airport. It would be summer time during January and February so the weather will be nice there. Anyone want to come visit me while I am there if I go?

Another perfect fall day in Kansas. It is a touch windy but not bad. I may go out and finish mowing when I get this blog written. I still haven’t gotten the mowing done.

Tomorrow marks two weeks from surgery. My restrictions end tonight. The last one I have been careful about is lifting things over 10 – 20 pounds. It will be nice to let that concern go. My incision is fully closed now and the swelling is almost gone. Not bad for only two weeks out.

Yawning. Loving the bright blue skies and warmer temperatures. All is well on the beautiful prairie today.

I’m tired tonight. Very little sleep last night and I drove to and back from KC today.

A friend started my day off right by coming by for coffee and a visit this morning. While she was here my Aunt Marylyn called and we visited. I had to tell my aunt finally that I had company and I needed to get back to my guest. That lady can talk!

After my guest left I drove to KC to meet two dear friends for lunch. We had a great visit and one of them brought me a Nothing Bundt Cake for a late birthday present. It was a lemon flavor which is my favorite!

After lunch I went to Nicole’s house and we decided on dates for our trip to Peru. We decided we didn’t have time to visit Ecuador so we will be spending our free time in either Lima or Cusco. We tried booking our flights but the site we wanted to use was having issues. We will try again tomorrow.

When I drove back into Emporia this evening I stopped and picked up a new prescription for different sleeping pills. I had remembered to call my doctor this morning and ask for something different. Fingers crossed this one will work.

I dropped my iPad when I was leaving Nicole’s house and broke the screen. I have been thinking about replacing it so guess that decision got moved up on my priority list of things to do. It has gotten so slow it is hard to use. It is several years old.

When I was talking to my friends I figured something out. Kathy had shared with me a guy’s website about beating cancer. When I watched his first video he said something I couldn’t get past. He said if you aren’t willing to fight cancer with everything you have then don’t bother listening to his stuff. I had trouble getting past that. Initially I thought I wasn’t sure I wanted to live enough to do what he was suggesting. My friend helped me see it was the word fight that struck me wrong. I want to live with peace, grace and ease – not with a fighting attitude. Maybe it is just a case of me reading too much into the word fight. I’ll go back and listen to his stuff and see if it sits better for me now.

Love when my friends help me see how to get unstuck. I had been thinking about this for a week and couldn’t see past it. Feels good to make sense of it now.

Tired tonight. I didn’t sleep much last night and driving to KC and back in the same day makes for a long day. I had so much fun while there it was worth it though. I don’t have anything I have to do tomorrow so if this sleeping pill works I can sleep as long as I want to in the morning.

It was another beautiful fall Kansas day. It was only 38 when I got up this morning. It warmed up to the mid 60’s with bright blue skies. Another perfect day is forecast for tomorrow with even a bit warmer temperatures. Maybe I can finish my mowing tomorrow afternoon and get outside and enjoy this wonderful weather.

Watching the sunset. Appreciating the view. Enjoyed the company of my dear friends today. All is well on the beautiful prairie tonight.

I went to register for the healing retreat in Peru this morning. One of the fine print boxes you have to check and agree with is to not take any prescription drugs while you are there. That stopped me in my tracks as I am not willing to stop taking my thyroid medication at this point of my journey. I filled out the pre-registration form and sent them an email and ask if I would qualify to participate and still be able to take my thyroid meds.

They ask me to download the Whatsapp and they are going to call me later today so we can talk. The initial answer is yes, I can still take it and go. He told me his partner has Graves’ disease and had a thyroid storm earlier this year so they are familiar with it. I will find out about the blood pressure medication I take when I talk to them. As I get more stabilized it is my hope that I will be able to go off it. Time will tell. I certainly won’t risk not taking it if I still need it during the retreat. I’ll ask the what if question when he calls.

He just called. What a lovely young man. I am good to go! He said if my blood pressure is still an issue they can adjust the dosage of the plant medicine to be safe. He really made me excited for this adventure. He talked about the possibility of getting to the root cause that caused the thyroid thing to manifest. Exactly what I had hoped I could discover at this retreat.

I am going to KC tomorrow to meet some dear friends for lunch and then I am going to go to Nicole’s house so we can make our retreat reservations. We also need to decide what we want to do before and after the retreat so we know where to make our flight reservations to and from. I wish we were going November 1 instead of December 1.

My incision is healing very nicely. I still treat it several times a day with hydrogen peroxide and then Neosporin. The swelling is still going down. My neck is not as stiff as it was. It is lots less tender to touch the incision site now.

I’m going to call my doctor tomorrow and see if he will prescribe a different sleeping pill. The ones he gave me are not working well for me. I didn’t take one last night as I don’t like the drugged effect the next day with no more sleep taking them than I get if I don’t take them. I slept off and on some last night. Who knew even sleeping pills would not act right in my body!

It was 44 degrees when I got up this morning. It has warmed up to 60 but in the wind it feels much cooler. Had to turn the fireplace on for a bit to take the chill out of the air. Bright blue skies make it feel warm when I am sitting in my chair looking out. Had to dig out a sweatshirt to go down to feed my girls at noon though.

Finally starting to feel better. It feels so good to be able to plan an outing to KC with my friends. Last time we had one scheduled I had to back out due to my having the thyroid storm. I haven’t really felt up to it since until now.

I am getting anxious to go to the endocrinologist and find out details of what may need to happen next, if anything. I do better having facts and details. Not knowing what might need to happen is starting to wear on me. I haven’t had a face to face with a doctor since I got the phone call telling me they found cancer. The nurse that changed my dressing gave me a copy of the pathology report but didn’t discuss it with me. My family doctor read the report and ask me what they were going to do. My appointment isn’t until October 27 so I have 12 more days. If I fill my days up with fun stuff like I am doing tomorrow it will go fast.

Excited about Peru. Excited about seeing Nicole tomorrow. Excited about meeting my friends for lunch tomorrow. All is well on the prairie today!

Slept last night without sleeping pills. I feel better today with a much clearer head. No brain fog today!

Went into Emporia around 10:00 this morning to pick Ellexia up. Michelle worked last night and has to work tonight and needed to sleep. Ellexia and Kathy are watching a movie downstairs.

Have been watching a thunderstorm roll in. Not sure I will get much rain out of it but there has been lots of lightning we have been watching. It is pretty sharp but so far not too close. The thunder is starting to roll across the hills. I love that sound.

I probably should run my girls down their noon greens before the rain gets here. They will be yelling at me soon if I don’t get it down there.

I have absolutely nothing on my calendar for the next ten to twelve days. I do want to go to KC one day next week to see some friends and Nicole. I also want to see my friends in Manhattan that just got back from being gone for two months. Another friend that lives close is coming for coffee one day next week. Love days when I connect with close friends.

Nicole and I have decided to go to the Healing Plant Journey in Peru in December. I am going to make our reservations for the retreat and then we need to decide what we want to do before and after that so we can book our flights. Not sure how long she wants to be gone. I could stay over a month but not sure she wants to leave her cats for that long.

Still would like to find some place to go for January and February too. I don’t like cold weather! Craig wants to go somewhere warm then too so we may find some place to go together.

This cancer scare has told me to wake up and get going. Trusting I won’t have any treatments that need done between my travels. I will find out on October 27 what if anything is recommended.

Ellexia has such an active imagination. I love listening to her talk to her babies and beanies. She loves to play pretend.

Read a second book yesterday. Maybe I should have gotten a couple more sacks full. I will run out at this rate. My eyes got tired yesterday though so I will have to slow down reading.

Thunder rolling over the hills. Sprinkles hitting the windows. It is a beautiful rainy day on the prairie today. All is well.

I am having a very lazy day today. It is after 3:00 and I haven’t even gotten dressed yet today. I got up this morning and took my thyroid pill. Went back to bed to read and got up around 11:00 and ate breakfast. Went back to bed to finish reading my book.

I never did go back to sleep but didn’t feel like getting up. I don’t have anything I have to do except attempt to mow again. Feeling very lazy today.

Not sure if I am going to attempt another sleeping pill tonight or not. Thinking not. I didn’t fall asleep again until after 2:00 even with taking half of a pill at 7:00. Can’t see much difference in taking them and I don’t like the side effects the next morning from them.

I do need to go down and give my girls their noon time greens. I am surprised the rooster isn’t yelling at me right now for being late with them. He likes things to happen on his schedule.

I still have a headache that comes and goes. I have had it since surgery. It is getting better so trying to be patient and let it finally go away for good without taking much for it. When it really gets going Tylenol will dull it but it takes the strong pain pills to completely knock it out. I haven’t taken them this week but I was tempted to once or twice.

My incision site continues to look better each day. The swelling continues to go down. Every once in a while I will bump it and it reminds me it is still tender to touch. It is just below where my chin hits my neck if I look down. If I try to put my chin on my neck it reminds me not to.

Talked to Nicole about the Healing Spirit Plants trip in Peru. We were both going to do some more reading about it today and decide if we want to go. The more I read the more I want to go. I’ll talk to her sometime this weekend and see if she is still in. We may do a side trip to Ecuador or to the Galapagos Island. I’ll have to see how long she wants to be gone. I could stay gone at least two months but not sure she wants to be gone that long.

Mid 80’s today! Gotta love KS weather as we had frost warnings earlier this week. No wind today and bright blue skies.

Trusting I will find my energy again. Maybe I over did yesterday and this is a make up day full of low energy and rest. Sure glad I had nothing on my calendar so I could honor what my body seems to need today which is to do nothing. I can handle one day of doing nothing but sure trust this is not going to become my new normal.

Resting. Very quiet day. Low energy day. All is well on the warm prairie today.

Happy birthday Mom! She would have been 88 today. Hard to think of her at that age as she was young at heart.

Went into Emporia this morning. I stopped at the health food store to get some B6. It is to help my body absorb potassium. I got the results of my blood draw back through the MyChart program (my doctor’s office hasn’t called me yet) and it showed my potassium has actually dropped over the last two weeks even with taking prescription strength potassium pills. I’ll see if B6 will help me absorb more of it. I also got some coconut water to drink as it is high in potassium.

I went back to the library and got two more sacks of books. Today they were only $2 per bag. They didn’t have many books left so I am glad I went earlier this week to get what I got. I should have enough now to hold me over until the Spring Library Book Sale.

I went to the Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. I ended up sitting with my mother’s cousin Jim and his wife Sandra. I enjoy their company and it made for a nice breakfast for me. I also saw Jim and Rita so I stopped and visited with them for a minute before I left.

Filled my car with gas and headed home. I had a meeting in Matfield Green this afternoon from 1:00 – 3:00. It was good to get home around 3:30 and know I can stay home the rest of the day. I spent longer in town this morning then I had planned on and feel like I have hardly been home today.

Hoping to get some more mowing done tomorrow. It is to be nice again and I need to get that job finished up. If it hurts like it did when I tried earlier this week I’ll have to come up with Plan B.

Kathy posted about a Shamanic Healing Retreat that is being held in Peru near Macho Picchu. I sent it to Nicole to see if she might want to go with me. We are going to talk about it at least. I have known for some time I am going to work with a Shaman. With the recent find of my thyroid cancer and my love for Macho Picchu the timing of this retreat works. We would go the first week of December if we decide to go. I would add a few days both before and after to spend more time in Peru. I love that country and its beautiful people. Oh the possibilities at least!

It is a beautiful but windy day on the prairie today. Mid 70’s and bright blue skies. Rain is in the forecast for Saturday but the blue skies are to return for most of next week with temperatures in the low to mid 70’s. Perfect fall weather.

I took half of a sleeping pill last night. Had the same trouble of not falling asleep until after 2:00 this morning but I did finally get some sleep. I felt a lot less drugged this morning. I will use the other half tonight and see how it goes. Think I will take it at 6:00 so by midnight I can be sleeping. These must be too strong for my system.

Nice to have lots of days ahead of me with lots of empty space. I don’t have any plans or anything I need to get done. Good healing space for me to recover in. I can feel my energy levels climbing again. My challenge will be to remember to give myself another five weeks to completely recover from my surgery. I want to start walking outside and add a bit of distance each day. If I am going to go to Peru I need to start building up some endurance, especially due to the high altitude in Peru.

Beautiful fall day on the prairie. All is well!

It was not a good first night using a sleeping pill. I naively thought I would fall right to sleep at least an hour after I took the pill. I actually didn’t fall asleep until five or six hours after I took it. I didn’t feel very good during that wait time. I finally got up and took a second deep, warm bath as my feet were both hurting. After the second bath and taking some Tylenol and restless legs meds I finally fell asleep around 2:00 and slept until after 8:00 this morning.

I got up a little after 8:00 and got dressed and went to meet a friend for breakfast. We hadn’t had a chance to visit for a while so it was nice to do so. We met at the new Chuck Wagon Cafe in Strong City. Ended up meeting the owner. The food was good and the service was good.

I drove into Cottonwood Falls afterwards as I needed to make a deposit.

Came home and went back to bed as I had a bad headache again. I slept until almost 1:00 and woke up feeling human again. Not sure I am a fan of the sleeping pills.

Kathy suggested I take half of one sleeping pill tonight and see what happens. I had the same thought earlier so thinking that is what I will try tonight. Sleep was good and I didn’t wake up between 2:00 and 8:00 but woke up feeling drugged and not rested. Balance! Someday I will discover it again.

I didn’t get my baby blanket finished last night. The yarn decided not to play nice. I’m sure I will get it done today. I only have six rows left to go and then a row to bind off.

Kathy just came in from cleaning out the chicken coop. It was overdue and much appreciated that she used this beautiful day to be outside and do that job. It may get cleaned out one more time this fall before I start the deep straw method I use during the winter time. It helps keep the chickens warmer if the straw is really deep. I add fresh straw every two weeks all winter long without removing what was in there. It makes it harder to clean out come spring time but it works to keep the chickens from getting their combs freezer burned during the winter. Almost time to drag the extension cord down so I can put in the heated watering can. I hate filling that thing so put it off as long as I can. Chickens need access to fresh water at all times if I want eggs from them though so a girl does what a girl must do.

I haven’t heard from the doctor’s office yet with the results of the blood draw from yesterday. I will be sent the results through the on-line MyChart program but those results usually don’t get to me for several days. I will assume all was OK if I don’t hear from them.

I had lost two more pounds when I was weighed at the doctor’s office yesterday. That surprised me as I thought I would start gaining weight. Maybe that laxative did clean me out and I was empty inside! I really haven’t been very hungry since surgery although I have been eating. Grateful I am still losing and not gaining. I certainly have not been moving my body much. Trusting I can start doing that more each day as I heal and am not so sore when I move my neck and head.

Tomorrow I have a meeting to go to in the afternoon. They are good at keeping the meeting to two hours so thinking I can last it out. If not I will leave early. I do still find myself getting tired easier than before surgery yet. Guess it has only been one week from today and I am still using lots of my energy healing the inside part of me. The swelling goes down a bit each day.

Nicole got home around midnight last night. I haven’t talked to her today but was happy to get a text from her last night to let me know she arrived safely. I want to get to KC next week to visit a friend and will try to catch her so I can catch up with her that day too. I have absolutely nothing on my calendar next week so lots of empty space ahead for me.

Loving the weather today much better than I did what happened yesterday. It is 60 degrees today with bright blue skies and lots of sunshine. I had to turn the fireplace on last night and this morning to take the chill out of the air in the living room. It is to warm up even more through Friday. Perfect fall weather!

When I go to KC I need to shop for some long-sleeved shirts for winter. I have lost enough weight that I need to replace the few I have with something smaller. The others are looking pretty sloppy on me. I seem to not have any sweat shirts left either.

A beautiful fall day today. Feeling better today at last. All is well on the prairie today!

Busy day as I had two different doctor appointments. My dressing fell off when I got out of the shower this morning so it made it easy for the nurse as the purpose of the visit was to have her remove it. The incision looks good. I am to use hydrogen peroxide followed by Neosporin three or four times a day. I was released to drive. Still can’t lift over 20 pounds for one more week.

I got a copy of the biopsy report. It had both good news and bad news in it. The type of cancer I have is the rare, aggressive one. It was very small and was contained within the thyroid. They only see this type of cancer in less than 1% of all thyroid cancers. Lucky me! The lymph node they removed showed mixed hyperplasia which indicates the cancer was thinking about starting to spread. No cancer was found in the lymph node though. Still not sure yet if any other treatment will be required. Won’t find that out until October 26 when I return for my Endocrinologist appointment.

The Pathology report also said I had severe Hashimoto’s thyroiditis in both lobes. The Endocrinologist had thought I had Graves since I was hyperthyroid. It is rare to be hyper with Hashimoto’s. Guess my body didn’t read the medical books.

Still feeling lucky I had an allergic reaction to iodine years ago and the decision to remove my total thyroid was made. It is still very possible the cancer is gone and nothing more will need to be done other than yearly checks.

After that appointment was done Kathy and I went to the library and filled five grocery sacks with books. They have to last me until the spring book sale. I feel guilty getting that many books for $50 when it is easy to pay $20 for one new book. I must have gotten over 100 books and probably more.

We came home after the stop at the library as it was only 11:15 and my next appointment wasn’t until 1:30. Kathy started her new eating plan today and I didn’t want to pull her off of it on her first day by having us eat out.

Drove back into town around 1:00 to see my family doctor. He is keeping me on all my meds for another month at least. Things are calming down but he said it will take another four to six weeks to reach my new normal. He did give me a sleeping pill. So looking forward to sleeping all night. It has been a long time since that happened. He ordered some lab work done to see where my blood calcium and potassium levels are at.

When I rolled up my sleeve to give blood I noticed I had a rash on the inside of my elbow by the vein where they draw blood. It wasn’t there this morning so not sure what is up with that. I’ll keep an eye on it. I think my body is saying enough with all the poking and prodding and needle sticks.

Stopped by Walgreen’s when we finished at the doctor’s office to pick up my prescriptions and to get the Neosporin I need to clean my wound. I sure am spending lots of money on doctors and medications lately. Hoping I am about done doing that.

When I got home I lit my fireplace and turned it on. It was 65 in the house. I only keep my furnace on 68 in the winter but my blood is not winter ready yet and it felt way too cold. It is to frost tonight. I won’t turn the furnace on yet but needed the fireplace to take the chill out of the air. It is to be back in the 80’s by Friday.

I am meeting a friend for breakfast tomorrow morning. Another friend is coming over to see me in the afternoon. So appreciate all the calls, emails, cards, and visits I have been getting from my friends.

Got an email from my friends I met on the Camino. They live in Northern California and the latest round of fires is just a bit north of them. So far their property is safe. Trusting the winds don’t change direction and put them in harm’s way. I was happy to hear from them so I know they are safe.

Two trips to town today. Guess on a cold rainy day what else was I going to do. Ready to tuck in for the night, sit in front of the warm fireplace and finish knitting the baby blanket I am working on. Down to the last 20 rows so hope to finish it tonight.

Healing well. Grateful for competent doctors and their staffs. Looking forward to a good night’s sleep. All is well on the wet and cold prairie today.

I didn’t get any sleep at all last night. It was a long night laying in bed. So frustrating!

Kathy and I went to Wichita to go to Costco and Sprouts. Kathy is starting a new way of eating tomorrow and needed lots of fresh produce. Worth the trip to go to Sprouts.

It was good to get out of the house. I hadn’t been out since last Thursday. I got tired at Sprouts as we had done Costco first. Luckily they had a seating area by the door so I sat down and waited for Kathy to finish. I hadn’t walked that much since surgery and without sleep last night I wore out.

When we got home I told Kathy I was excited to see what I had bought as I couldn’t remember what I had gotten at both Costco and Sprouts. We got things put away and I had a bowl of soup and then went and laid down. I actually slept for over an hour so feeling much better now. I had hoped I would sleep until morning but an hour is better than nothing.

Tomorrow I get the dressing removed from the incision site in the morning. I hope I will get a copy of the biopsy report so I can find out what kind of cancer they found. We will then have to waste three hours as I have another doctor appointment at 1:30 with my family doctor. We plan to go out for lunch and go to the library book sale. My family doctor needs to tell me what medication he had put me on when I had my thyroid storm I need to continue to take or hopefully I can stop taking. If I have to continue them for a while I need to get a prescription I can mail in to get a ninety day supply. I am also going to ask him for something to help me sleep. My heart rate and blood pressure have still not stabilized although both are better than when it first happened.

As I was sitting and typing I looked outside and saw this beautiful rainbow. We had a thunderstorm roll through while I was laying down. The other end of the rainbow was way to the north. The colors were very vivid and bright.

Nicole is flying home tomorrow. The weather will be very different here than where she has been as there are frost warnings for tomorrow night around here. It will be good to have her home again.

So grateful I got over an hour of sleep this afternoon. I was really feeling the lack of sleep. I don’t feel rested but feel much better than I felt before I laid down.

I have been taking a mild laxative once or twice a day since surgery. I didn’t think they were working however this morning it hit bottom. I am cleaned out! Maybe that is why I got so tired at Sprouts. Trying to drink extra this afternoon to replace the fluid I lost. Regaining my balance in all ways is proving to be a challenge for me. Reminding myself to stay patient as it will take several months to get my medication level right so I can find balance. I have been out of balance for several months due to the overactive thyroid. Not sure I remember what it feels like to be in balance.

Almost time to turn the furnace on – or at least the fireplace. It is going to get cold tonight and not warm up much tomorrow. Not sure I am ready for this jump downwards in temperatures. Good news it is to warm up later this week again. I’ll have to dig out my wool socks for tonight and tomorrow.

Healing. A bit of sleep. Beautiful rainbow. All is well on the windy, wet and cold prairie today.

Went out and tried mowing for just a little bit. It is too bouncy and it bothered my neck so didn’t get much done. I got the path down to the chickens mowed at least.

I didn’t get much sleep again last night. I sure hope my family doctor will give me something to help me sleep when I see him Tuesday. I have to think I would heal better if I could sleep.

Tried to do some knitting this morning but my yarn wasn’t playing nice and I gave up. I am almost done with the fifth of six panels and was hoping to finish this blanket today. Maybe after a time out the yarn will play nice and I can finish it.

My incision site looks better again today. It is less tender than it has been. I get the small dressing removed Tuesday morning.

What an absolutely beautiful day on the prairie today. Mid 70’s with just a slight breeze. May take a walk later after I finish icing my neck from my mowing attempt. It is way too nice outside to stay inside today. I would like to weed my flower beds but not sure I can do it without irritating my neck. My neck is starting to irritate me!

Did some research on the incidental cancer they found in my thyroid. From everything I have read no further treatment should be required. However they didn’t tell me the type of cancer it was and there is one kind that they get a bit more aggressive with treating it but that kind is the rarest one. Best way to discover you had cancer – after it is already gone!

Feeling good enough to want to do something today but having trouble finding something to do that doesn’t irritate my neck. Maybe I will be able to take a nap and help the afternoon pass quickly by sleeping. I’m a bit cranky today. I don’t do well sitting so much and am feeling a bit anxious today. I haven’t been out of the house since Thursday morning. Going a little stir crazy I think.

Nicole comes home Tuesday night. The high for Tuesday in Kansas is going to be in the 50’s with a chance of frost. It was over 100 where Nicole is yesterday. She might be in for a rude awakening when she gets home. Not sure I am ready for winter like temperatures. I love days like today much better.

Sounds like the Festival at Pioneer Bluffs was a lot of fun yesterday. Bummed that I had to miss it. Someone paid $20 for the four dozen eggs I donated. Glad they sold. Didn’t hear how much the jam and jellies I sent for the silent auction brought. Hoping I will feel good enough to go to the Board meeting this coming Thursday. I sure haven’t held up my end of the responsibilities of a board member lately.

The library book sale is going on for those of you close to Emporia. I’m going to go on Tuesday as I have to go to town that day for two different doctor appointments and have three hours to kill between appointments. I’m hoping it is sack day so I can get several sacks full of books to tide me over for the winter. I only have three books left from the last book sale when I bought several sacks full.

May take a book out and read on the deck. My neck isn’t so stiff and I can line up my bifocals better. It is way too nice to be inside today.

Cranky. Healing. Practicing patience and self-care – even though I don’t like it. All is well on the beautiful prairie today.

Got a phone call from the surgeon’s office yesterday afternoon. My blood calcium was a touch low so I have to take three Ultra Tums a day for two weeks. They have 1,000 mg of calcium in them. Simple fix!

The nurse also told me I had a cancer in my thyroid. It was very small and not one that would have been detected unless the whole thyroid had been removed. Feeling very lucky I had an allergic reaction to iodine years ago so the best option to treat my thyroid was to remove it instead of the radioactive iodine treatment. That treatment may or may not have killed the cancer.

I will find out in three weeks if any other treatment will be required and exactly what type of cancer it is. They may be able to monitor it through blood levels and do nothing else. As my cancer marker was high I am not totally surprised they found some. I may have to do a Radioiodine treatment but maybe not as it was so small.

Feeling very lucky today! Something told me I needed my whole thyroid removed and I was relieved when that was what the Endocrinologist first suggested I do. If one has to have cancer this is the type to have as it rarely is aggressive and mine was caught very early.

My headache came back yesterday afternoon. Took another pain pill and it went away. Probably from the low calcium level. Trusting the Tums will bring my calcium levels up quickly so the headache won’t come back again.

Got the second panel knitted on the baby blanket I am working on. Gives me something to do while I rest.

Had several strong storms move through last night. I left a window open and had to mop up the bathroom floor during the night. Haven’t noticed any wind damage yet. Didn’t get lots of rain out of it all but what I got was very welcome. It is in the mid 50’s this morning. Almost time to turn the fireplace on. Bright blue skies and windy yet this morning.

Kathy took off early to get things set up for the Festival at Pioneer Bluffs. It will be a long day at home for me as I decided not to go. I’m feeling really good but don’t want to over do. I’m a bit likely to pick up a cold or the flu right now and don’t want to expose myself to getting the crud. Not what I need right now.

Learning to take my thyroid medication at least 30 minutes before I can eat each morning. It will be something I will have to do the rest of my life. I’m not a good pill taker so this will be a new adjustment for me. Maybe I can teach this old dog a new trick!

The swelling is not as bad this morning as it was yesterday. I keep getting my chin stuck to the incision site when I look down as the incision site is swollen. Gives new meaning to the term rubber neck. I will ice it again every hour today and see if I can keep the swelling in check today. All in all my recovery is going very well. Grateful I have not had much discomfort or pain.

Beautiful day on the prairie today. Go to Pioneer Bluffs Festival and eat some Surly Mermaid. It starts at 2:00. All is well!

Finally fell asleep around 2:00 this morning. Slept on and off until 7:30. My neck was pretty swollen this morning. I look like I have a turkey neck. Doing a better job of icing it every hour or two today for 15 to 20 minutes at a time and the swelling is going down.

Not much pain today. It is a bit stiff though. Hard to line up my bifocals with a stiff neck.

I did break down and take two pain pills yesterday to get rid of my headache. They worked and I haven’t had much of a headache today although it feels like it might be coming back. I won’t wait so long to take pain pills today if it comes back.

Made two cookie dough chocolate chip pecan pies and a pumpkin pie cake for the Pioneer Bluffs Fall Festival for tomorrow. I am so bummed I can’t go. The Surly Mermaid will be there serving yummy food. If you go to the Festival eat some Surly for me!

Have done a bit of knitting today. I’m getting tired of sitting already.

Blue skies have returned to the prairie this afternoon. The wind has returned too. More rain is in the forecast for tonight but tomorrow is to be a beautiful day. I have 3/4 inch in my rain gauge so far.

Heard from Nicole this morning. There was a bit of blue skies amidst the dark clouds on the beach this morning. She was able to go down and get in the water today between rain showers.

Walked down and fed the chickens their noon time greens. They have given me only eight eggs so far today. They have started slowing down laying with the nights getting longer. I told them I would slow down the amount of treats they get if they didn’t start laying better.

Craig took the grandkids today so I could rest. Not sure if I will have Ellexia tomorrow or not. I think she wanted to play with her neighbor’s tomorrow as my house is too boring since I don’t have a TV. Tagen is with his other grandma for the weekend.

Thinking after tomorrow I will start feeling even better. Usually the third day after surgery is the last hard day. I really can’t say any of the days have been hard though. Slight discomfort but not really much pain other than the headache. I go get the dressing removed Tuesday morning and then Tuesday afternoon go to my primary doctor to see what medications I can get off of. My blood pressure has been a bit high but thinking that is from the stress of the body adjusting to functioning without a thyroid. I’m sure it will take a bit for things to settle down.

So far this has been easier than I expected. Hard to remember to not do too much.

Healing. Sitting. Enjoying the sunshine. All is well on the prairie today.

Doing really well today. My only complaint is a headache that doesn’t seem to go away. Tylenol and Advil dull it but it doesn’t stop completely. Thinking it is from the position they put me in during surgery. Ice seems to help it the most.

My throat is a bit swollen but not bad. Very tender to touch so I don’t touch it! Not having any pain when swallowing. So far this has been easier than I expected. Don’t have a lot of energy but getting done what I want to do fairly easily. Haven’t had to take a pain pill yet.

Had to go to Emporia this morning to have a blood draw to check the blood calcium level. Sometimes it can get low after having a thyroid removed. I haven’t heard the results yet but I don’t have the symptoms so thinking I am good.

The kiddos came out a little after noon for the afternoon. They are being very good and letting me rest. Michelle has to work tonight and needed a nap. They may be back tomorrow for part of the day as she works tomorrow night too. I have lots of snacks and chocolate milk so they are happy.

Finally heard from Nicole. She is in Costa Rica and hadn’t heard from her for over 24 hours. Found out they are having a storm and it knocked out her cell and wi-fi service. Was very relieved to hear from her this morning. They are having more rain today. Not what you want when you are on vacation. Thinking she is going to do a spa day today and make the best of a rainy day.

Sure appreciate all the offers to help me out and all the prayers and healing vibes being sent my way. They helped make yesterday go easy. Kathy is taking good care of me.

Back to sitting most of the time with an ice pack on my head. I get up and walk around often as that feels good. It is a cool, rainy day on the prairie so sitting feels right. I didn’t sleep much last night. That is very normal for me though.

Sure bummed I am going to miss the Fall Festival at Pioneer Bluffs this Saturday. It is a fun thing to go to.

So grateful the surgery is behind me. Recovery is going easy so far. Doing my best to rest and take it easy. Maybe my headache is there to remind me to do so.

All is well on the wet and cool prairie today.

Thyroid is out. Surgery went well. Got home around 3:00. Sore. A bit swollen. Recovering. Good nursing care while there. Taking it easy.

Thanks for all the prayers, healing vibes and love! All is well on the soggy prairie today!

Kathy is home. I picked her up at the airport a little after 1:30 today. Both of her flights arrived ahead of schedule today. Sophia was very excited to see her.

Nicole arrived safely in Costa Rica. Both of her flights arrived a touch early too. Must have been a good day to fly today.

Nicole and I went to one of her friend’s house for dinner last night and watched the first half of the Chief’s game. We watched the second half at Nicole’s house. I hadn’t watched a football game for several years. I remembered the Monday night announcers as being more entertaining before. The guys last night seemed to be very boring and seemed to be in favor of the other team a bit. Don’t think I have been missing much by not watching them.

I didn’t sleep much again last night. Maybe it’s a good thing I am having surgery tomorrow – I’ll get drugs that will make me sleep at last!

I have to be in Topeka by 9:00 tomorrow morning and surgery is scheduled to start around 10:00. I should be home by 4:00 at the latest and probably by 3:00. So ready to have this over with and be on the road to recovery.

After I dropped Nicole off at the airport this morning at 6:30 I went out for breakfast at Big Biscuit. I ate too much! Their serving sizes are huge! After I ate I went back to Nicole’s house and tried to go back to sleep but didn’t do so. I just chilled out until it was time to go pick up Kathy.

I can’t think of anything else I need to do today so my recovery will go easier. I have all the critter food restocked and picked up some soft foods for me.

Sure feels like it is going to rain. I could use a couple of inches to fill in the cracks in my yard. Looking forward to the more fall-like temperatures.

May go take a nap. Feeling like I might be able to sleep. As hard as it is for me to find sleep I will take it when ever it finds me.

Surgery tomorrow morning. Let my healing continue! All is well on the muggy prairie today.

Newman Hospital you disappointed me yet again. The Surgery Center had faxed them orders to do a blood test on me and had received a confirmation that the orders had been received. I went in two hours later and Newman’s denied they had received the orders!

I called the surgery center and had them send the orders to my doctor’s office lab instead. They received them and were able to draw my blood.

Newman’s need to figure out their information center and get it straightened out. So frustrating!

The nurse that called this morning went over my medical history. She will call me in the morning to tell me what time to arrive Wednesday morning. Sounds like I will only be there from four to five hours total.

I went into town and got chicken feed, dog food, Tums, and some soft foods in case I have trouble swallowing after surgery. Think I am set and ready to go.

Later this afternoon I am driving to KC. I’m going to spend the night with Nicole and take her to the airport early tomorrow morning. I’ll probably go back to her house after I drop her off and hang out there until it is time to pick Kathy up at 1:30. Any of my KC friends free tomorrow morning and want to hang out with me?

It is almost a summer day here today. Almost 90 and the wind is in a hurry. I was going to clean out the chicken coop but it is too windy for that. I got a mouth full of straw when I opened the door to pick up eggs.

Star has figured out how to get in and out of the front fenced area. Sophia still hasn’t figured it out thankfully. Sophia is much more content when Star is in the fenced yard with her. There was even one of the cats hanging out with them this afternoon.

May take a nap this afternoon if I can fall asleep. I slept a bit last night but not much. Better than I had the two previous nights but certainly not five hours straight. I am sure trusting this surgery will help me be able to sleep.

Got the guest beds made up and the trash emptied. I don’t clean much more than that until the next guests come. It is so dusty things don’t stay clean very long around here.

I’m tired and cranky this afternoon. My soul hurts hearing about yet another mass shooting. Need to ground myself well this afternoon and refill my soul with love and light. There is so much hate in the world. I need to make sure I don’t get pulled into the muck pond from the weight of it. There is also more love in the world than hate. Some days I forget that though. Going to spend the rest of the afternoon looking for love and reminding myself it always wins!

All is well!

Had a very late night last night as two of my guests didn’t get in until after midnight. All four of us sat up and visited until 1:00 this morning.

I was up at 7:30 to get breakfast ready for one of my guests. We had a lovely breakfast together and then she left around 10:00. She has volunteered to be a house sitter for me anytime I need one. She loves animals and can work on her computer anytime and not have to go to her office.

My other two guests slept in. He came up just before I had to leave at 11:00. I left breakfast on the counter for them and left to go to the family reunion. They were gone when I got home around 2:30. I have the first load of dishes washing and have two more loads after that to do. Still need to strip the beds and start laundry.

I’m really tired this afternoon as I haven’t slept much the last two nights. Really want a nap but am going to try to stay up until at least dark. I have a lot of stuff I need to do tomorrow and would love to get a good night’s sleep tonight. I will see if that happens.

Had a good time at the family reunion. Craig went with us. He likes my extended family and I think he enjoyed going. He was really tired by the time we got home though. Keith was able to come. He is looking much better.

Managed not to get into any heated political discussions with those that are on the opposite fence than I am on. We all seemed to enjoy each other’s company. I didn’t get a chance to talk to all of my cousins. Too many to get to!

I really enjoyed all three of my house guests this weekend. I feel I made three new friends. Trusting they will return and stay with me again some day.

It is a windy day on the prairie today. Mid 80’s so nice and warm for the first day of October. Need to do a critter check and make sure all is well with them. I have been so busy this weekend I feel I have neglected them all a bit. Ready for things to slow way down!

Making new friends. Reconnecting with family. All is well on the windy prairie today!

I had the most delightful evening last night. I had dinner at Ad Astra with one of my over-night guests. I then drove her out to Camp Wood so she knew where to go Saturday morning. We came home via the Lake Road. It is a beautiful time of the year in the Flint Hills to go for a drive through the hills. We stopped in Cottonwood Falls on the way home and enjoyed the jam session for over an hour that was held at Prairie Past Times.

She went to bed shortly after we got home. My other two over-night guests came to my house shortly after she went to bed and the three of us sat up and visited for an hour. It was after 11:00 before they went downstairs to bed.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. Sure trusting that tonight is the night for sleep.

The grandkids came out this morning for a couple of hours. It was good to see them. They walked Sophia and chilled out. I took them to Craig around noon as I had some where to go this afternoon. I picked up a prescription at Walgreens before I dropped them off at Craig’s house. I onlyneeded ten more thyroid pills before surgery but they would only give me the full bottle of 120. I’ll have to throw away the rest of them as I won’t need them after Wednesday.

I spent the afternoon with my friend Carla. She had an open house for her new art studio/gallery. She does the most amazing art work. I have one of her pieces in my dining room. There were over 40 people who came to see her work. I served wine and picked up dirty dishes. It was a wonderful afternoon.

Three of my friends that came to the open house and I went out to dinner after the open house. That makes three nights in a row I have eaten out. Unusual for me to eat out this much but I had delightful company both last night and tonight.

I made a potato salad this morning and fixed cowboy beans that are ready to heat up tomorrow morning. I’m going to bake a chocolate sheet cake tonight and then I will be ready for the family reunion tomorrow. I also need to get the steel-cut oats in the crock pot so breakfast tomorrow morning will be easy. Not sure how many I am feeding.

Unusually busy couple of days for me. Monday I am going to KC in the evening and then taking Nicole to the airport early Tuesday morning. Kathy gets in Tuesday afternoon at 1:30 so will probably stay in KC until she gets in. Wednesday I have surgery.

I need to check my supply of critter feed and get what I need for the next two weeks Monday as I won’t be able to drive for two weeks after Wednesday. I also can’t lift over ten pounds so won’t be able to lift it into a shopping cart after surgery. Kathy will be stuck carrying the feed containers down to the chicken coop and carrying the water for them for two weeks.

Cleaned out my egg stash again. Love when that happens!

Another busy day tomorrow with fixing breakfast for my guests and going to the reunion. I’m glad I will have Sunday evening and most of the day Monday to put the house back in order and do my last-minute shopping before surgery. Need to remember to get some soft foods in case I have trouble swallowing for a few days. Also need to get some Tums as they recommend I take them regularly for a bit to make sure my blood calcium levels don’t drop with the thyroid gone.

I have so enjoyed my guests this weekend. It is so easy to have guests when they are gone most of the day and I don’t have to cook for them.

What an absolutely beautiful day on the prairie today. Loved spending time with my friends. All is well!

Took Craig to his medical procedure in Topeka this morning. He tolerated it well. Results won’t be back for a week.

I had my appointment with my surgeon who happens to be in Topeka this afternoon. It was a two-for-one trip today. I am having my total thyroid removed next Wednesday. It is scheduled to be an out-patient procedure. He told me recovery is rather quick from the physical part of the surgery. Getting my thyroid hormone levels adjusted can take a couple of months. I will have mild limitations for two weeks such as no lifting anything over 10 pounds and no driving. But other than that I can do what ever I can tolerate.

I ask about the possibility that it was cancerous. He said he saw no evidence that would make him even consider that. He said about one in a hundred cases of thyroids that are removed for nodules turn out to have cancer in them but that wasn’t why they were removed. I also ask why the total removal instead of partial. Evidently I have nodules on both sides so a total is required. He seems competent and skilled.

So grateful I have a date for surgery and can go on from here. Trusting by the holidays this will all be behind me and I can go forth with my life.

While I was in Topeka I got a phone call and the guests I expected to come for just Saturday night now want to stay two nights and check in this afternoon. Someone local was going to bring them out so they knew how to find my house. I told them I wasn’t home but the doors were unlocked and to come on in. I can’t tell if they came or not. There is no luggage downstairs. I got home around 3:45 so made it home sooner than I thought I might.

My other guest thought she would arrive at 4:00 but she isn’t here yet either. Thanks universe for giving me some time to catch my breath before my guests arrive!

The house is cleaned. I am ready for my guests to arrive. Grateful for this day! All is well!

I slept six hours straight last night. Like normal people do! I can’t remember the last time that has happened. I think I could get used to doing that.

Went into Emporia this morning to get some dog food and groceries. I decided to fix something different to take to my family reunion Sunday so needed to get some stuff to make what I want to take. I had breakfast at the Commercial Street Diner since I was in town.

Came home and made the Pretzel treats I am taking to my friend’s open house Saturday. I love those things. I hope there are none left over as I will eat them if they are.

Have eggs and potatoes cooking for the potato salad and deviled eggs I am going to make for the reunion. I can’t get anything done tomorrow as I am going to be in Topeka all day and then have a guest coming late afternoon. I’m busy with the open house Saturday afternoon so need to cook some things ahead.

Down to the last two rooms that have to be cleaned today. My bedroom and bathroom can wait if needed as my guests don’t go in there. Trusting the urge to finish up this fall cleaning will hit me some time soon today so I can get this project done. If feels so good to have my whole house almost cleaned. It has needed detailed cleaned for a while but I hadn’t felt up to doing it until now. Now when I am recovering from surgery it won’t bother me so much.

What a beautiful fall day. Bright blue skies and the temperature is in the low 70’s. Makes me want to go outside and clean out my flower beds. I need to get the house finished cleaning first though. I love this type of fall weather. I feel the energy of days like today seeping into my bones so I can store it for the coming winter days.

I haven’t gotten my apple butter made yet. It will have to wait until next week as I won’t have time until then. I did remember to buy the apple cider I need to make it with. Still need to check to make sure I have enough jars.

I dropped a jar of sweet pickles on my foot when I was bringing the groceries into the house this morning. Luckily the jar didn’t break when I dropped it. It hit my foot where my bunion is. I elevated my foot right away and it feels a bit better now.

Anxious to hear what the surgeon has to say tomorrow. So very grateful I got in so quickly. I feel like I have put my life on hold until I can find out when surgery is going to be. I can’t make any commitments to anyone for next week and the week after that. Trusting the surgery can be scheduled for next week so I can get on with my life.

It will be fun to see my last two living aunts and all the cousins that come Sunday. This is my mother’s side of the family and everyone always seems to enjoy each other. Some of us are on opposite sides of the political and religious fences but for the most part we avoid talking politics and enjoy visiting with each other.

Beautiful day on the prairie today. I got sleep last night! Life doesn’t get much better! All is well!

To my surprise and delight the surgeon’s office called me yesterday afternoon and found an appointment time for me this Friday. His office is in Topeka and I am going to be in Topeka with Craig Friday taking Craig to a medical procedure. Now that is how referrals are supposed to work.

I went into Prairie Past Times for their art afternoon yesterday. About eight of us sat and visited and worked on individual art projects. It was a delightful way to pass a rainy afternoon. I took some knitting and started a baby blanket. I have given all the ones I had made earlier this year away. I like to have a spare one in case I need a baby gift and don’t have time to make one.

Got the dining room floor hand mopped and the tables and chairs cleaned yesterday. I have four tables and sixteen chairs so that part takes a bit of time. I hate moving all of them out of the dining room and then having to move them all back in there again. Always glad to get that room done.

My rooster, Mr. America, has tried to come after me the last two days. I have had my muck boots on and am thinking he doesn’t like me wearing them. I wacked him on his head with the stick I have in the pen this morning. He pounded his feet and glared at me afterwards but left me alone. Mr. America, I would not mess with me right now. I am not in the mood for your showboating.

Having trouble getting going today. I didn’t sleep very well and feel really tired today. As my thyroid lowers I am getting a taste of the sluggishness that brings with it. I was hoping it would bring sleep to me but not sure it will. I’ll see how this plays out over the next month or so. My blood pressure was a bit high this morning. I have been working hard the last couple of days so maybe my body is telling me to take a rest day today. My ass is sore from sliding on the floor as I have been hand scrubbing my floors. I really wanted to get the rest of the floors done today. Maybe I can dig deep and find some energy to do so.

I just remembered to call for a haircut appointment and he can cut my hair today at 12:30. Maybe that will make me feel better today. I need to get some groceries anyways so this will make me go to town to do that too. Need to take a shower and get dressed so I can go to town.

It is a cloudy cool day on the prairie today. I have over an inch of rain in my gauge. I had to dig out a sweater this morning. I haven’t been cold for a long time. I closed all the windows and thought about turning the fireplace on. I felt cold down to my bones. What a switch this is for me as the last couple of months I have been running very hot even when others were cold.

I read a quote the other day that said you see what you expect to see in life. Man is that playing out in the world today. I do tend to read something or see something and quickly decide if I agree or not and if that fits with the way I see things. When I have the patience and awareness I read opposing views to see if I can see things from a different perspective. Sometimes I can but not always.

I have been reading a lot lately about white privilege and watching how that plays out in the world. The educational site I have been reading tells me to sit with the uncomfortableness of the feelings I feel when I recognize times when I used my white privilege card in the past and now can see how that influenced how I saw the world. It is hard to sit with those feelings and not want to do something. At some point I will learn how to use those feelings to propel me towards being a socialist activist and help create change in this world. But first I have to learn to sit with these feelings and allow them to teach me what I need to learn. I can’t create change in others – I can only become the change I want to see in the world by doing my own inner work.

I struggle at times to keep my mouth shut and not point the finger at others when I see them using their own white privilege card. I keep reminding myself I still use mine too. I need to keep discovering the ways I am using my card. Hard inner work but much-needed inner work. It brings up such sorrow in my soul. Hard to sit with that.

Sun is in the forecast for the afternoon. I welcome it back. All is well on the cool and cloudy prairie today.

Good news! I got the blood draw results back and my levels are low enough that I am being referred to a surgeon. I got this information from the on-line My Chart Program. I haven’t spoken with the Endocrinologist office yet. I called the surgeon’s office to ask how this process works. They haven’t received the paperwork yet and are to call me when they do. This sounds familiar! Trusting the paperwork will show up and they will call me. I will call them again tomorrow afternoon if I haven’t heard anything. She did say I didn’t need a referral to be seen, however when I told her I was to have my thyroid removed, she said they need to see the order before they can proceed.

Trusting the communication between the two doctor’s offices will go smoother than the communication between the hospital and the Endocrinologist office went. I had been told the surgeon usually can see patients within a week of the referral. Guess I will see if that is true.

One step closer to the finish line of this part of my journey.

I got the basement completely cleaned yesterday. Only have part of the main floor to detail clean over the next couple of days and I will be ready for my guests to arrive this weekend. It will be an easy weekend for me as I only have to fix one breakfast and the guests will be gone most of the time. I do have some where to go Sunday at noon so will have to push the guests out early.

My plumber called back. He told me to run water every day for a week in the floor sink where I have been smelling sewer. If that doesn’t fix the issue than I am to call him back and he will come out. He didn’t seem worried that the lagoon was really low.

Prairie Past Times is having an art day this afternoon. You can bring any art projects you are working on and join in community with others doing the same. Think I will take some knitting and go join in the conversation. All are invited to come from 1:00 – 4:00 today.

I am making an effort to get out more and be in the world more. It is too easy to allow myself to sit at home all the time and not be with others. Not sure it serves my best interest to isolate myself so much. Striving to figure out what my balance in all this should be.

I did not eat very good yesterday. I think all I ate was sugar. I felt icky last night as a result. It has helped me once again understand I need to nourish my body better and avoid sugar. Day One being sugar-free starts today!

I need to get some groceries and didn’t want to go to Emporia today. I just remembered the grocery store in Strong City has reopened and they have meat and produce. Score one for the home team today!
This cold weather makes me want to make some veggie soup. That is about the only way I will eat veggies.

If I am going to go play this afternoon I better get some cleaning done first. So grateful I have the energy to do so as I continue to feel better each day. Five good days in a row! I got this!

All is well on the much cooler and wet prairie today!

Had the most delightful phone call last night from a Facebook friend that I have been friends with for several years but we have never met in person. Not sure why we have never talked on the phone before. It was a nice phone visit. Her voice sounds just like I imagined it. Some day we will meet in person.

Went into Emporia this morning to have my blood drawn. They were really busy so I had to wait almost an hour before they drew my blood. I will find out the results tomorrow. The person that drew my blood told me to tell my doctor my clotting factor is slow. She had trouble stopping the bleeding when she was done. She recommended they do a CBC if I have to stay on this thyroid medication much longer. I’ll mention that to the nurse when she calls with the results tomorrow to see if she thinks something needs to be done. One reason I don’t like medication – one pill leads to two which leads to three which leads to an increased risk of side effects. Seems hard to get that circus stopped! I’ll be glad when I can have surgery and be able to only take one pill a day instead of the four I am taking now.

Two friends came over today so we could help one of them plan an open house she is having Saturday. She is putting her art work on display and is nervous. I’m going to be her behind the scenes person for the open house so the artist can focus on her guests. We helped her figure out what to serve.

The rain hasn’t arrived here yet. Sure trusting it will get here soon. My yard is really dry. I moved Sophia to the garage in case it rains. Maybe that scared the rain away. Just heard the first rumble of thunder so maybe it is coming closer.

Got the great room and hallway downstairs finished this morning. Only have two bathrooms downstairs to do and the basement will be done. I’ll get those done today and then tomorrow I will start on the upstairs. I already have the guest bedroom and bathroom done upstairs.

My blood pressure and pulse are doing good for the fourth day in a row. It seems to take a while for my pulse to calm down after I do anything physical but it gets there sooner or later. Sure feeling like I have dropped down to normal thyroid levels.

Remembered to call a plumber today. I have been smelling sewer in the laundry room mop sink and noticed when I mowed a couple of days ago the lagoon is really low. I ask someone this weekend about it and he felt I probably have a block in a line somewhere. I left a message with the plumber and trust this can get fixed easily and cheaply.

Found out I will have a total of four guests for Saturday night. Not sure when three of them will be arriving or if they will want breakfast Sunday morning. Flexibility will have to be my word for the weekend.

Feels good to be treating myself to a clean house. I love when my house is really clean. Wish I could make myself clean it more often.

Cloudy day on the prairie today. Rain is coming. All is well on the prairie today!

I had the most wonderful evening last night. I rode with two dear friends to Matfield Green. The Bank had an art opening and the Surly Mermaid was serving food. I had a meat loaf sandwich that was amazing! The weather was perfect to sit out in the shade and enjoy the company of all who attended.

On the way home I got to see two sun dogs flank the setting sun. They were so beautiful. I rarely see them out here so it was a special treat for me.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I thought I was tired but I could not fall asleep. Makes for a long day when I have a night like that.

I got the results of two more blood tests that were run a week ago. My antibody levels are high which suggest I either have Graves or cancer. I kinda knew that already. What was surprising was the test that confirms Graves I wasn’t so high on and the test that suggest Hashimoto I was high on. The APRN guessed I would show the other way around. Usually Graves causes hyperthyroidism and Hashimoto causes hypothyroidism. I have hyperthyroidism. Leave it to my body to not read the instruction manual and follow the rules. Either case the solution is to remove the thyroid which was the original plan. Sure trusting my levels are low enough after my blood draw Monday I can get referred and get this over with.

Yesterday I got two rooms cleaned. One I had detailed earlier this month so it just needed touched up. The other one needed woodwork washed and the floor hand washed. Today I am working on detailing the great room downstairs. I have over half of it done. I do three or four tile widths across the room at a time and then rest for a bit to let my heart rate go back down. Trusting I will get it done yet today.

Once I get the great room done I only have one bathroom downstairs to detail and then just need to touch the other rooms downstairs up as Kathy and I had detail cleaned them earlier this month. I still need to do most of upstairs but I don’t like doing it too much in advance as it seems to get dirtier faster.

I haven’t taken my shower yet today. I have somewhere to go later this afternoon and knew I would work up a sweat cleaning so decided to wait to take my shower until I am done cleaning. I should have put jeans on though to hand wash the floors as I don’t have anything covering my knees and they feel like they might blister.

Sure feels good to move my body. I have sat way too much this month. Use it or lose it! The doctor released me without restrictions when I left the hospital. I take time to listen to my body and when it says stop I stop and rest. Some days I can get stuff done and others I don’t. Need to take advantage of good days and get at it.

Three good days in a row! Yes! I’m feeling good enough today to say “What thyroid?” I can tell I have been sitting too much as I don’t have much endurance but the only way to get endurance is to move.

Need to make a grocery list for this weekend. Next Sunday I am going to a family reunion and also need to fix breakfast for my guests. I’m busy Friday so need to remember to buy groceries Thursday. I will have my whole house cleaned by Thursday evening as I am taking Craig to Topeka for a medical test Friday morning. Trusting I will be home before my guest arrives.

I have four free days in front of me so should have no problem getting it all cleaned. I’m going to open the windows tonight as it is to be cooler the next couple of days. Seems silly to wash woodwork and then open the windows though. Oh well, at least I know the woodwork has been cleaned lately.

Feels SO good to be able to do normal stuff. Funny how I take for granted the ability to do so until I can’t. Knowing I got hit with the universe’s two by four to get my attention and allow myself to more fully align with my values.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do before I die. Surprisingly my list isn’t very long which tells me I have been doing what I have wanted to do all along. Spending more time with my family and dear friends is on the top of my list. Beyond that what is there to do anyways?

Another warm and dry day on the prairie. Rain is in the forecast! All is well!

So far I am managing to string two good days together! No big jumps up or down in blood pressure or pulse or if they do jump they come right back down or go back up. I got this!

Mowed my whole yard today. I came in for a bit to rest halfway through. I was hot and dirty by the time I finished. I need to sweep my bathroom floor as I tracked in lots of dry grass. Oh the places it goes!

I noticed my sewer lagoon pond is almost empty. I have been smelling a sewer smell in the laundry room mop closet lately. I wonder if I need to have someone come check it out. The sewer goes through an old septic tank on its way to the lagoon. Could it be a line is blocked? Wish I knew more about this type of stuff.

I took a nap yesterday instead of cleaning. Not sure what I will do this afternoon. Sure hate to waste a good day and not get any cleaning done.

The Surly Mermaid food truck is in Matfield this afternoon. I may drive down and have dinner. I love Amanda’s food. Certainly worth the drive.

Still haven’t made it over to Cottonwood Falls to dump my recycle box and drop off books at the library. If I go to Matfield Green later I will do it then.

Ended up making creamed chicken and biscuits for dinner last night. I had cooked a chicken earlier this week and needed to use it up. I had leftovers for breakfast. Have enough left for one more meal.

Monday I go have my blood drawn so my thyroid levels can be checked to see if I am in the normal range yet. I won’t find out until Tuesday. If they are within range I will be referred to a surgeon. If not they will increase my medication and will recheck in one more week. I have spent time visualizing my levels dropping to the normal range. I am ready to get this show on the road and get my thyroid out so I can begin the next step in healing my body.

Looking forward to the forecasted drop in temperatures beginning Monday. I will be able to open the house back up and let the fresh air in. I have a love/hate relationship with my A/C. Much prefer the windows open but struggle when it is too hot.

Finally remembered to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to take my pills. Last week they told me to split my dose and take two in the morning and two twelve hours later. I don’t usually take evening pills so have been afraid I will forget them. I set an alarm for 9am and one for 9pm so I won’t forget. Now I just have to remember where my phone is!

Empty space! I had sure missed it in my life. Most of next week is empty space for me. I may get to add an appointment with a surgeon if I am lucky. I am spending the day Friday with Craig and then have a guest coming Friday evening and Saturday night. It is so nice to have empty space again.

All is well on the hot and dry prairie today.

Slept from 10 to midnight and then got a second sleep from 6 – 9 this morning. Five hours of sleep last night if I add them together. I feel like a new woman.

Went into Emporia this morning to get chicken feed, cat food and to pick up some egg cartons from a friend. As usual I forgot to get food for me. I need to go to Cottonwood Falls to drop off my box full of recyclables and put some books in the free library box. Maybe I will grab something to eat at Ad Astra if I get hungry when I go to Cottonwood.

This has been a good day so far. No big jumps up or down in my blood pressure or pulse. It does go up if I am lifting heavy stuff but it has come back down nicely without me having to take more pills. I don’t have lots of extra energy but I was able to do my shopping and unload the car without being tired. I’ll take that!

My mentor called to check on me and did another healing for me. I wish I could tape our conversations as afterwards I have trouble remembering what he said. I always feel better after talking with him.

I so appreciate the calls I have been getting from my dear friends. They are concerned about me, especially since Kathy is gone. I promise I will call if I need help. When I am feeling as good as I am today I forget why they feel they need to call.

Sophia did better today. Star walked with us to the back yard but Sophia listened to me today. When it cools down this evening I will take her for a long walk. It is over 90 right now and too hot for me to go walking.

Nothing much planned for the weekend. I have a birthday party to go to Sunday afternoon but other than that nothing is on my schedule. I need to check with the grandkids and see if they want to come out for a bit. I haven’t seen them much since I have been sick.

May try to do some cleaning today. I never know how I am going to feel tomorrow. I have guests coming next weekend so need to get the house ready for them and take advantage of a good day and get something done today.

Grateful the roller coaster I have been riding has found a smooth track for me to ride today. Guess it takes a string of bad days to appreciate the beauty of the good ones.

All is well on the hot dry prairie today.

Doing much better today. Had a brief time late morning when my heart rate went up but after I took the new meds it came down quickly. I do notice I get short of breath if I do much but I don’t do much and that solves that issue.

Some friends came over and we celebrated Fall Equinox. It is the perfect time to identify things you want to change your relationship to and do some inner work. As the darkness grows it is time to turn inward and do some housecleaning and let go of things that no longer serve you. This year has been my second year of celebrating Equinox and Solstice and I now understand the power behind doing so.

Last night I fell down the rabbit hole. I started getting a sore throat and one of the side effects of the thyroid medication is it can cause you to not have many white blood cells. White blood cells keep you from getting infections. I took my temperature and it was very slightly elevated. When I took it again thirty minutes later it had gone up a little bit.

I quickly convinced myself I had no white blood cells left and I was on my way to a serious infection. My mind then had me dead and buried within days. Goodness! The places my mind can go if I allow it to run away with itself. I finally had enough of the pity party I was throwing myself.

Funny how my imagination can run away from me. At one point I caught myself shaking my head at myself for the foolishness I was doing. I was especially surprised how surprised I had been that I would die. After all every one of us will die some day.

I didn’t fall asleep until almost 5:00 this morning. Luckily I woke up before 9:00 so I could take my pills on schedule. I take the thyroid lowering pills twice a day at 9 am and 9 pm. Sure trusting these pills are working so when I am checked on Monday I will be in the normal range so I can get this thyroid removed.

Good news when I woke up this morning my sore throat was gone. All that rabbit hole nonsense for nothing!

I did my laundry today and washed the sheets on my bed. I need to clean the floors in my living room and kitchen. I will have to do them before my guests come in another week but not sure I can wait until then and only do them once. They are getting really dirty and bothering me.

I need to run into Emporia and run some errands. Not sure if I am going to go yet this afternoon or wait until tomorrow morning. I’m really tired this afternoon as I haven’t slept much the last two nights. If I can find something for dinner I might wait and go in the morning.

Sophia gave me a run for my money this morning. I was trying to walk her from the garage to the back yard. Star came along and Sophia would much rather have gone with Star than where I wanted her to go. I finally got her where I wanted her. Not sure Sophia approves of Kathy being gone. I told Sophia to suck it up buttercup. I am between you and your feed bowl.

Another hot and windy day on the prairie. Summer is trying hard to hang around. I broke down and turned the air back on. It was 86 inside and that is too hot for me. We are to get a cool down the first part of next week.

Yawning. May go to bed early tonight. Maybe tonight is the night for sleep. All is well on the hot and windy prairie.

Thanks for all the offers of help, prayers, phone calls, healing light and love being sent my way. I appreciate each and every one of you! And yes, I will call someone if I need a ride to the doctor or to the ER.

I drove Kathy to the airport in KC this morning and sent her back east for two weeks. She needed to check on some loved ones that have had health issues. Someday she may get to retire from being a nurse but it doesn’t look like it will happen any time soon.

After I dropped Kathy off I went and picked up Nicole. We did a Costco run and then went to lunch. Always fun to spend time with Nicole. She is planning some trips in the near future. Dropped her off after lunch and I drove home.

Yesterday afternoon I started feeling better. My heart rate stayed in the 50’s all afternoon. During the night it started climbing. I took my new meds this morning. When I got out of the car to go into the restaurant I felt like I had been running. After lunch I checked my blood pressure and my pulse was 74. About thirty minutes later I checked it again and it was 80. The doctor had anticipated it might get too high so he gave me another medication to take if it reached 80. I took a pill and checked it 30 minutes later. It had jumped to 118 but when I checked it 15 minutes later it had started to come back down. It is now back down to 56.

What a roller coaster. At least today I didn’t feel weak like I did yesterday. It is a balancing act as my thyroid levels decrease my heart needs less support. I am taking what happened today to mean my levels are still dropping. I will find out for sure next week.

I cleaned out my egg supply. Nicole ask me to bring her some so she could give them to her friends and a friend is coming later today to get six dozen. Love when I clean out my stash. As I get over a dozen a day it doesn’t take long for it to build back up again.

I had offered to cover Kathy’s shift at Pioneer Bluffs while she is gone. However, due to my medical issues I can’t guarantee I will feel like going on Friday. Ken volunteered to cover both Friday and Saturday so I didn’t have to worry about it. Ken, thank you! I sure appreciate you.

Sure glad I decided to do the adult thing and not travel back east. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had what happened here yesterday happened there.

I so appreciate the phone calls from loved ones checking on me. I feel really loved and supported.

Strapping on my seat belt and riding this roller coaster. Knowing this is a short-term problem and the long-term solution will happen soon. Grateful for the love and support of my friends. All is well!

Woke up this morning not feeling right. Took my blood pressure and it was 130/78 but my pulse was 40. I felt shaky and weak. I called my family doctor and spoke to the nurse. She had just had a cancellation so she told me to come in.

Kathy was teaching a yoga class. I told her I was going to go to the doctor and she stopped her class and drove me in.

My blood pressure was 179/84 at the doctor’s office. They put a finger pulse thing on me and my pulse dipped down to 40 again. The doctor changed my beta-blocker and then gave me another medication to take in case my heart rate goes too fast with the new medication.

I had already taken my beta-blocker this morning. He told me to take it easy today, drink extra fluids and let it ride itself out. I start the new medication tomorrow morning.

I am in a delicate balancing period. As the thyroid medication works and gets my levels down the need for the heart medication decreases.

The doctor indicated today that he thinks my thyroid over acted because it is cancer. When I had read the indications of both Grave’s and Hashimoto neither one seemed to fit. Luckily most thyroid cancer is treated with the removal of the thyroid and no other treatment is needed. The endocrinologist had said she thought it was Grave’s. I will find out for sure after they remove the thyroid and do the biopsy.

Kathy and I went and had biscuits and gravy at Commercial Street Diner as our reward for yet another doctor visit. After we ate we went and picked up the new meds and came home.

I knew yesterday I was starting to have too slow of a heart rate. I went for a mile walk and when I came in the house after the walk I checked my blood pressure and my heart rate was 52. It doesn’t seem to increase regardless of what I do.

While I was waiting for the doctor I saw a nurse that is in management at the hospital and she happens to work on the floor where I was. She used to work for me years ago when she was still in high school. I shared with her my impression of the nursing care I had received. Kathy got to chime in too. Not sure anything will come of it but it did feel good to share it with someone who might be able to improve the nursing care for other patients. She did tell me they staff many of the shifts with traveling nurses which makes it a challenge to train them the way they want.

On our way out of the clinic we ran into Keith. He had come in for some X-rays. It was good to see his wife can transport him by herself now. Keith looked better than he did a week ago but still has a lot of healing to do.

Sure will be glad when I can get this thyroid removed and not need the beta blocker any more. Trusting that my levels will have dropped enough next week that I can get referred and get this show on the road.

Thankful for Kathy’s help today. Grateful the Doctor had a cancellation so I could get in quickly. Trusting the new medication will work better. All is well on the warm, windy prairie today.

The Endocrinologist office called me this afternoon. My levels have come down but are still elevated. She is increasing my medication level and wants me to have another blood draw next Monday. I am about halfway between where I was two weeks ago and where I need to be. Dr. Detwiler had told me it can take some time before they fall back into normal range so I am not surprised they are still high.

As Kathy is leaving to go back east Wednesday this may work out best anyways as I probably won’t be able to have surgery until after she returns October 3. They can’t refer me until my levels are within the normal range. Then I will have an initial visit with the ENT Doctor before I can schedule the surgery. I was told I can usually be seen within a week of the referral. Not sure how soon after that they can schedule surgery.

I’m not feeling as well as I did yesterday but so far it hasn’t been a bad day. My heart rate is starting to really slow down. Have had some pulse readings in the 40’s. My normal resting rate is 55 so I tend to run slow anyways. I’m to call the doctor if it stays below 50 for over four hours. So far that hasn’t happened although it is getting close. It is a balancing act with my new medication to get my thyroid to slow down without shutting my body down. My body doesn’t like medication and tends to react in an unusual way. If you read the side effects my body will have the rarest one listed.

At least now I know this week is free for me. I have been wanting to schedule something but was waiting to make sure I would be free to do it.

I have some things I want to get when I go to KC Wednesday to take Kathy to the airport if I am up to doing some shopping. Nothing on my list is urgent but would be nice to get them crossed off my list without having to make another trip. I’ll be back up to KC the 3rd of October to pick Kathy up so I can get them then if I’m not up to shopping Wednesday.

Nice to see the sun return to the prairie today. It is humid out today and there is a haze on the distant grass. Sure feels like fall is all but here. It was almost cold in the house last night. I haven’t been cold for a long time it seems.

Going to do some cleaning the afternoon and move a bit. I’m getting really tired of sitting. I sure have a lot of empathy for my brother who has to remain in his chair for at least four more weeks.

All is well on the prairie today!

I feel like I have rejoined the human race today. My best day yet since I was in the hospital two weeks ago.

It is a rainy, foggy, and cloudy day on the prairie today. So far I have gotten less than 1/4 inch of rain. I have the oven turned on and am making an apple crisp and some Bierrocks. Perfect fall food!

Kathy and I drove to The Orchard to get some apples. I like Jonathan apples and the trees were already picked off so I had to buy a bushel from the cooler. I prefer my apples not to be refrigerated but once they are they need to stay that way. We each got an apple slush. I like them but I can only drink half of a small one.

Trusting I will hear from the Endrocrinologist nurse tomorrow with the results of my blood tests. I won’t call if I don’t hear from her until Tuesday. Sure hope my results are low enough that I can get referred to the ENT and get a date for surgery set. I have guests coming the weekend of the 29 and 30th of September so I would like to wait until after that to have surgery unless the doctor thinks it needs to be done ASAP. I’m only fixing one breakfast so probably could manage that even if I have surgery before they come.

I noticed today how fast my finger nails are growing right now. Even my hair is growing faster than normal. I must be using all my energy in speeding up the growth of things like that and have little left over for me. Weird! I don’t have a scale so I don’t know if I am still losing weight.

Trying to prepare myself for the shock of everything slowing way down after surgery. From what I have heard it will be very easy to gain weight. Trusting I can get the new medication adjusted fairly quickly.

I love rainy days. The house smells so good. I just pulled the apple crisp out of the oven. Getting ready to put the Bierrocks in. I have extras if you want to come get some!

All is well on the wet and foggy prairie today!