Starry night on the prairie

We celebrated the life of Katy, Jim’s almost 19 year old cat today. She had a stroke last weekend and hadn’t been able to get up since. We have been giving her water via an eye dropper and she had been licking a bit of food off of Jim’s finger. Her skin was going to start breaking down soon and things weren’t going to get better for her. It was a hard decision to take her in but am grateful for the love and compassion the vet and assistant showed Katy and us.

Jim dug a grave for her when we got home from taking her in. She is in a sunny spot by the retaining wall which was her favorite spot to hang out in the back yard. We will miss her yelling at us when she wanted fed. I won’t miss doing a load of her bedding daily or the crate in the living room she slept in under the heat of a lamp. She provided Jim with much love and was a steady companion for him for almost 19 years. We will miss her.

I had to go back to town this afternoon. I had lots of errands to run and needed to pick Ellexia up from school. After stopping to get her food I got her home and then came back out to the prairie. It was a busy day and I am exhausted.

A local rancher delivered ten butchered chickens I had ordered late fall. I am anxious to try one and see if I can tell the difference. The local rancher is trying to become self-sufficient by raising a variety of animals on his land and selling direct to customers. I am friends with him on Facebook and will do my best to support his venture. I hope he is successful. I love getting my food directly from the rancher and knowing it has been raised humanly and not given medications it didn’t need.

I sold four dozen eggs today. I have someone coming tomorrow for four dozen. Yes! That will help decrease the supply that I had built up. I am getting about 20 eggs a day right now and they add up quickly.

Tomorrow Jim has a physical in the afternoon. I am hoping I get to stay home all day. I am shocked every time I go to town how exhausted I get being in town.

I got on the hot line last night for two hours. No suicidal people for a change. Had a couple cutters, depressed people and breakups. Easier night for a change. I have a shift tonight. May need to take a short nap so I can stay awake and alert to handle it. I had trouble falling asleep last night and didn’t get a lot of sleep. The hot line is hard for me when I am tired.

I have some hamburger thawed for dinner and need to decide what to make with it. Jim may get tacos and I will have a hamburger. Not in the mood to do much else tonight. I fixed split pea soup with ham in the instant pot for dinner last night. It is one of Jim’s favorites – I can eat it but not my favorite by any means.

No plans for the weekend. I am hoping for a quiet, don’t leave the prairie, type of weekend. I have some housecleaning that needs done and some knitting to do. I have gotten used to not having anything on my calendar. When I have a week like this one when I go to town daily it is too much. I don’t cope as well with lots of things on my calendar any more. Thinking when the COVID thing is over I am going to choose not to re=enter “normal” life again. I like my quiet days at home way too much.

Grateful for the life and love Katy provided us and celebrate her life today, grateful for the compassionate care the vet and assistant provided us today, and grateful for farm fresh butchered chickens in my freezer.

It has been a beautiful winter day on the prairie. Temperature reached over 50 today with bright blue skies and a light wind. Not bad for the first week of February. The chickens enjoyed being outside most of the day.

I got on the hot line again last night for two hours. Handled five callers – three suicidal. I think I talked all of them down to a calm enough state that they lived another day but one never knows the rest of the story. There are a lot of hurting people out there right now – be kind to one another. You will never know if your kindness will save a life.

I am so disappointed in some of the residents in Lyon County and their anger at the Lyon County Health Department. The Health Department is trying different ways to be fair to all so people can get registered to get vaccines. They switched to a phone system today and it crashed their phone lines as so many people were trying to call. The comments on their Facebook page were brutal. They are doing the best they can to be fair and it takes away their time and energy to have to respond to the negative comments. Patience, people, patience.

Katy is still alive. Jim had made an appointment with his vet in Stillwater but then decided this morning not to take her. We have an appointment to take her into Emporia tomorrow morning at 11:30. I’ll see what Jim decides to do. Katy doesn’t seem to be in pain but she is only taking a bit of water via eye dropper several times a day and has not moved from where she has been since Sunday. It doesn’t seem fair to her to allow her to live this way. It is so hard to put her down though.

Jim left for Stillwater this morning at 9:30. I haven’t heard that he has headed north yet so he won’t be home until late tonight. He had an eye doctor appointment and then was going to load up the Honda with a bookcase and boxes of books and bring it home tonight. He will have a long day today.

Tomorrow afternoon we have to go into Emporia and pick up Ellexia from school. Michelle has a meeting and Tim has to work. The school is not offering the after school care program this year due to COVID and the unknowing part of if the kids go to class or not. It will be fun to get to see Ellexia for a bit tomorrow afternoon.

The people I ordered some butchered chickens from are going to bring the chickens to me sometime either tomorrow or Friday. It will be good to have ranch raised fresh chickens in the freezer to eat. I ordered ten of them so that should last us for a couple of months.

I haven’t heard from the lady that wanted me to do the Newsletter. Maybe she found someone else to do the job and forgot to tell me. We will see if I hear from her yet this week or not. OK with me if they don’t need me – I just wish she would tell me what the deal is.

When I get done writing I want to bake a batch of Valentine sugar cookies for the grandkids. I can deliver them tomorrow since I have to go to town anyways. I love baking cookies and am glad they like eating them.

When I gathered eggs this morning I found a fairy egg in the lip of the watering container. I would love to have a video as to how that egg got there. Not sure if the hen dropped it from above or how it got in there. If anyone from Emporia needs eggs let me know and I will be happy to deliver tomorrow when I come to town. I have 10 extra dozen on hand right now.

Tomorrow will be busy with two trips to town. We don’t have anything else on the calendar for the rest of the week though. I’m looking forward to Friday and a quiet day at home. I have grown to really like those days the best.

Today is trash day – the highlight of the week. I gathered it all up and drove the trash can down to the curb and picked up the mail. Good to know that my week is grounded and it is Tuesday. Gotta love the “normal” few routines I still have left in my life.

Grateful Jim had a safe trip to Stillwater this morning, grateful my freezer will soon be full of freshly butchered chickens, and grateful for fairy eggs – even those I find in the watering container.

It has been a busy but productive day on the prairie today. Jim aired my tire up and then followed me into Cottonwood Falls so I could drop my car off and get the tire fixed. We delivered eggs to my two Cottonwood Falls customers and then went to Emporia.

I dropped off the contract to purchase the new investment property at the Title Company. They said they would start working on it later this week.

Went to Bluestem and got chicken feed and oats. I used egg money to pay for the feed this time. I told Jim the chickens are now self-sufficient and supporting themselves. Not sure he bought that idea.

We went to Walmart to get a heat lamp bulb and some groceries. While there Michelle texted and needed a ride home to get a set of car keys as she had locked her keys in the car. It was nice to get to visit with her for a few minutes.

We came back home after stopping in Cottonwood Falls to pick up my car. Jim unload the five bags of feed and put them into the smaller containers. I put the groceries away. It feels like we accomplished a lot today.

I also called the roofing company to get a bid on replacing the roof on the new property we are buying. They are to get in touch with me later this week or early next week to schedule the bid.

I got on the hot line last night intending to only stay on for an hour. 2 1/2 hours later I finally got to a stopping point and got off. I handled five suicidal callers and had to get the supervisor involved in one suicide and one domestic violence call. I was handling both of those at the same time. What a night! I had trouble falling asleep after all of that and didn’t get to sleep until almost 6:00 this morning. After I get done writing I am going to take a nap.

After the two high risk calls the supervisor and I had a nice exchange of messages. She mentioned she loves to see my name on her team as she trusts me to get her involved when needed and appreciates how I handled the texters. She is the first supervisor to mention that she recognizes my name when I get on. There are over 6,000 volunteer counselors and probably 50 supervisors so I understand why they wouldn’t remember me. I am getting to the point of recognizing most of the supervisors names now and have preferences as to which one I work with. I don’t get a choice though and they change during my shift to keep their workloads even.

I hated to sign off last night as they had over 100 people waiting to chat with a counselor and less than 40 counselors working but after the two high risk texters at the same time I was emotionally fried and couldn’t take another call. It was after 2:00 and I was getting tired.

Jim is going to Stillwater tomorrow morning. He has an eye doctor appointment at 2:00. He is planning on coming back after his appointment. He will switch vehicles and bring back another load of his treasures. I’ll fix something in the crock pot for dinner tomorrow night so I can feed him whenever he gets back home.

I have almost six repeats done on the blanket I am making. I have at least four more repeats and probably six more repeats to do so I am almost halfway done. It seems to be taking me a long time to get it done but I don’t have a deadline this time so no worries.

I have some hamburger thawing for dinner tonight. Not sure what I am going to do with it but I’ll figure something out when it is time. We may just have plain hamburgers – both of us enjoy that.

Katy is still alive but hasn’t moved since Sunday. We give her water using an eye dropper. She doesn’t appear to be in any pain. Jim may take her to Stillwater with him tomorrow and take her to her familiar vet. We will see what happens tomorrow. Hard decision to make.

It feels like we packed a weeks worth of adventures into one day. Funny since we stay home alone most of the time going to town is big for us now. It did feel good to get a lot of stuff taken care of.

Grateful my to-do list got taken care of today, grateful the egg money was enough to buy the feed, and grateful I was able to talk some suicidal people into a calmer state.

We are buying another investment property. The people that were looking at it didn’t have the funds to get it so we are going to go forward with buying it. We will close as soon as the title company can get the paperwork together. It should be before March 1 and maybe as soon as February 14. We will have lots of clean up work to do on the house and in the yard and lots of painting and some repairs to do. That will give me a project for a bit.

Not sure if we are going to rent it or turn it into an Airbnb. Renting would be easier and less cleaning but we could make more money if we did the Airbnb thing. We will see if we can find a renter and go from there. People are always looking for properties to rent in Cottonwood Falls so am thinking it will be fairly easy to find renters. It is a two-bedroom, one-bath house with a nice sized living room and dining room. It has a huge yard and a nice outbuilding.

Katy is still alive so far today. We have an eye dropper that we use to give her water occasionally. She hasn’t eaten anything or moved much for over 24 hours now. She is a tough old cat.

The chickens gave us 21 eggs this morning and we haven’t checked yet this afternoon. It may be a record setting egg day on the chicken ranch today. I have lots of extra eggs if anyone needs any. I deliver on Mondays so let me know if you want me to bring you some tomorrow.

It has been very windy today on the prairie. The temperatures are in the mid 30’s and the wind has been gusting up to 30 MPH. Good day to stay inside and stay warm. I have some soup in the crockpot for dinner tonight. I used the leftover pot roast and veggies and added some stuff to it. I hope it will taste OK. I accidentally added Soy Sauce instead of Worcestershire sauce. Oops. May have left over frozen pizza instead.

I didn’t get on the hot line last night. I was too emotionally tired to get on. I put in over 12 hours last week which is their limit and decided not to wear myself completely out. If I burn out I won’t want to continue volunteering.

I still haven’t heard about the newsletter stuffing project for the Symphony. I guess I will hear something sooner or later. I don’t have any plans so it doesn’t make much difference when it gets here to work on.

I ordered some new jeans and they came in yesterday. I was happy to find I could get into them as they are a size smaller than what I am wearing now. They are a bit long but better too long than too short. I like the way they fit so will keep them. I may order another couple of pair – I’ll see how they wash up and make sure I really like them before I order more.

We need to go take the contract to our seller and when we come home I will probably take a short nap. I am becoming a creature of habit and taking a nap every afternoon has become routine for me. Guess I don’t have anything better to do so why not. Jim is laying down now and I will have to wake him up soon so we can go to Cottonwood Falls and deliver the contract.

I have a tire that needs to be repaired so will take my car into Cottonwood Falls tomorrow morning to get that fixed. It was low last week and we aired it up. It is back down again so obviously their is a leak in it. I may need to use Jim’s car to deliver eggs in. Good thing I know how to drive a stick shift.

Jim’s article was in the KS Reflector this morning. I put a copy of it on my Facebook page. It takes a few minutes of reading it to realize it is a satire piece.

I took a long nap when we came back from signing the contract with our seller in Cottonwood Falls. I slept for almost three hours. Feeling rested now – trust I will be able to sleep sometime tonight.

Since I took such a long nap I will get on the Hot Line later tonight if they are busy. It will give me something to do until I get tired enough to get more sleep.

February will be here tomorrow. I always think winter is over when February gets here – or at least if it isn’t over I know it won’t last much longer. What a mild winter we have had. Spring is coming soon and I am so ready for it. A fresh start and green grass sounds like just what the doctor ordered to make us all feel better.

Grateful for the opportunity to purchase another investment property, grateful I fit in the smaller sized jeans, and grateful January is coming to a close.

I had a hard night on the hot line last night. I hopped on to help out for an hour and ended up being on it for almost four hours. One of the calls took over two hours to finish up. It is one that I will always wonder what the rest of the story is. It was a rough night for several of the texters.

It took me several hours to unwind and be able to sleep when I was done. I didn’t get to sleep until after 5:00 this morning and was up and going before 8:30. I took a long, much needed nap this afternoon.

We got 1.5 inches of rain on the prairie today. It was a beautiful rain and we should have enough run off to fill some ponds. Lots of mud puddles to walk through when I went down to do the chickens this morning. The girls gave me 21 eggs today. They even came out and played in the rain for a bit today.

We went to Cottonwood Falls and looked at a house for sell. We would use it as an investment property – either as an Airbnb or a rental. The owner may already have it sold but it that deal falls through I will buy it. It needs some work done to it but nothing Jim can’t handle. We would hire someone to replace the roof but Jim should be able to do most of the other work that needs done. I am pretty good with a paint brush and doing some much needed cleaning and scrubbing. We will see what happens.

Katy, Jim’s cat that is 18 years old is not well tonight. She is laying in a funny position and hasn’t moved much all day. We are thinking the end may be close for her but she has fooled us before. It is always hard to say goodbye to a loved pet.

Got some more tax forms in the mail today. Still have a couple more to come in. Jim found some of the numbers I needed from him so as soon as the rest of the forms come in I can get the package handed off to my accountant.

I may get on the hot line again tonight. They are so busy lately and don’t have enough counselors late at night. People are sometimes waiting up to an hour for someone to chat with. I doubt if I will be sleepy anytime soon so might as well help out for a bit.

The wind is gusting up to 40 MPH tonight. It has switched to the North and the temperature is dropping. Grateful our moisture came in the form of rain and not snow today.

Jim’s article wasn’t in the KS Reflector today so am thinking maybe it will be in tomorrow’s paper. We shall see.

I had ordered ten chickens from a local rancher that is starting an organic farm. He is processing them on Monday and will deliver one day next week. I’m excited to be getting some farm raised chickens to eat.

I love rainy days. They make for good sleeping weather and great naps. It will be nice to see the sun tomorrow though.

Grateful for the rain the prairie received today, grateful for the chickens that will be in my freezer later this week, and grateful for long afternoon, rainy day naps.

The girls have fresh linens. Jim shoveled out the old straw and I laid new straw. The eggs will stay much cleaner for the next couple of days until the girls rearrange the straw enough that it falls out of the nesting boxes. It smells much better in the coop too.

I scared the girls when I went around the corner of the coop and one flew out and over the fence. I chased it around and Jim opened the door. We trapped it and I was able to pick it up and return it to the coop. The Americanas are good flyers. I have a fence over most of the yard to prevent them from getting out but this one found a small space to be able to get out. It was scared and didn’t appreciate its freedom.

They gave me 20 eggs today. I have 3 extra dozen on hand if anyone needs some. I deliver on Mondays so give me a call if you want me to bring you some. They are $3 a dozen or 2 dozen for $5.

I took eleven calls on the hot line last night. It was an unusual assortment of calls. I don’t feel I had a goodnight on the hot line – I was inpatient and got frustrated with my texters easily. Some nights are like that. I was on four times this week and that surpassed my emotional limit I think.

I was surprised I was able to sleep last night after sleeping so much the day before and taking a nap. I woke up this morning and my drug hangover was gone, thank heavens. I didn’t even have to take a nap this afternoon. I finally feel rested.

Jim got a call from the Chase County Health Department to schedule a vaccine. I had signed us up before we were able to get into the clinic in Emporia. It is nice to know they are working their way through the list. They are doing it by age. Found out both of my Aunts have or will soon be getting their first vaccine. That is a relief. Sometimes it helps to be old.

I have five repeats done on the blanket I am making. Not sure how many more I have to go but at least five more if not seven. I don’t have a deadline on this blanket so I am taking my time and enjoying the knitting. I like the colors and it is fun to work on.

Jim submitted an editorial article to the KS Reflector and it is being publish tomorrow. That will be fun to see his name in print. I really enjoy reading the KS Reflector each morning. Somedays it starts me day off on the wrong foot but only because they report the stupid tricks the KS Republicans are doing. The articles are always well written and informative. It is free and you can get it delivered to your in box daily.

I got up in time to put the pot roast in the crock pot this morning. I added potatoes, carrots and onion this afternoon. The house sure smells good. It will be an easy dinner tonight as everything is already fixed. I may make some beef salad from the leftovers. Jim likes eating it and I hate to see food go to waste. We can’t begin to eat a whole pot roast.

No plans this weekend. We will stay home and shelter-in-place. I didn’t need groceries this week so we don’t need to go to town for that. I’ll check to see if the grandkids need treats but I think they should be good. I took them some earlier this week.

It was nice and sunny this morning and it warmed up to the low 50’s today. The clouds have taken over now though and the wind has picked up. Feels like a winter storm may be brewing and headed our way. I can almost feel the fight happening between Spring and Winter. I prefer Spring so I am voting for it to win.

I have a newsletter stuffing project to work on next week for the Symphony. That will give me something to do. Jim is going to Stillwater Tuesday for an eye doctor appointment and will bring a car load of stuff back with him.

I am realizing how much I enjoy these quiet days at home with lots of empty space. I’m not sure I will want them to end when ever the pandemic is over. Since we are retired I guess we can keep on keeping on with the routine we have now. Jim keeps talking about travel and I can’t quite seem to go there yet. It doesn’t hold much appeal to me right now. We will see if that changes once things feel safer to get out and go.

Grateful the girls have fresh linens, grateful for a fun knitting project, and grateful for empty space and quiet on the prairie.

I had trouble going to sleep last night so I took a NyQuil around 4:00. I slept until noon or after today and then had to take a nap this afternoon. I cut the package in two and only took one tablet. Wonder if I would have gotten out of bed today if I had taken both of them. I finally feel like my hangover is gone. Needless to say, I didn’t get much done today. It is a good thing I don’t drink as I don’t think I would make a good drunk – I would just fall over and sleep if I got drunk.

I took 11 calls last night on the hot line. A couple of them were tough calls. Two of them will stick with me for a bit as I’m not sure how much help I was or if there is a solution for them. Both seemed calmer at the end of the call and told me they could get through the night. That is all I can ask for some times. Wish I had a magic wand and could grant grace and ease to some of the callers. I was wiped out at the end of my shift. I had gotten on early and stayed on a bit late to finish up the last call. I felt guilty when I got off as there were over 75 people waiting to be chatted with. I just didn’t have it in me to handle another call. I have another shift tonight.

I did a bit of knitting today. I’ll have to check it and make sure I didn’t drop a stitch as I was tired when I was knitting.

I was going to fix a pot roast for dinner but didn’t get up in time to put it in the crock pot. I’ll fix it tomorrow night. Jim is delighted he gets to doctor up a frozen pizza for dinner. He is a good sport when plans have to change.

The full moon is beautiful tonight. It was too cloudy on the horizon to watch it rise but it is shining brightly on the prairie now. I love winter nights when the moon is shining. The very light covering we had of snow melted today.

Got 19 eggs from the eggs today. I had two double yolk eggs for breakfast and I think there was another double yolk egg in the egg basket. I am like a child when I get a double yolk egg – they make me smile every time I see one.

A friend is coming over tomorrow to pick up two dozen eggs. When she asked me if we were free I told her I would check our social calendar. I checked and it is empty for tomorrow – and for most of the month and year after that. Not much on the calendar these days for sure.

Tax forms are starting to come in the mail. Still waiting on a few more and then I can get that project finished up. I need to remember to prompt Jim for the numbers I need from him. He is usually a April 15th filer.

Nothing on the agenda for the weekend. Jim is going to Stillwater next Tuesday for an eye doctor appointment and to exchange cars and bring another load up. He has a physical with our new doctor in Emporia next Thursday. Other than the normal things I don’t have anything special on the calendar next week. At least it will be February next week and Spring is only six or seven weeks away.

Grateful for NyQuil and sleep, grateful for frozen pizzas when Plan A for dinner fails, and grateful for the beauty of a full moon on the prairie tonight.

I went on the hot line last night but only handled two calls. Both were suicidal and hard calls to manage. The second one we ended up having to call emergency services for. The Supervisor had stayed on the line with emergency services until they arrived and made contact with the texter. The call was intense at times and it was a relief to know that help arrived and the texter was still alive when they did do. I’ll never know if they made it through the night but we gave them the best chance to do so.

I have a hot line shift tonight – trusting it will be a bit smoother and easier for me. The suicidal calls take a toll on me after a bit.

Jim and I went into Emporia to drop off peanut butter balls and a dozen eggs to Jason and Michelle’s house. I had baked a banana cake this morning so we took part of it to each of them too. I got to see Tagen for a hot minute when I did the drop off at his house. Tagen was doing school so I didn’t bug him for very long.

When I got back in the car from Jason’s house I noticed the back passenger side tire was low so we stopped at the tire store on the east side of Emporia and they graciously checked and aired up all the tires. The tire was rather low so we are going to have to keep an eye on it – it may have a leak in it.

When we came back to the hills we went into Strong City. Someone was giving away solid oak doors and Jim needed one for the shop he is going to build in the big barn. The lady giving them away had warned us they were heavy. As we were pulling up two young men had just loaded up three others and saw us drive off. They took off but then came back and offered to help Jim load the door. He was going to refuse their offer of help but I talked him into accepting it. He was glad he did as the door was very heavy. We managed to get it out of the car and drag it to where he wanted to store it in the barn when we got home.

I took a nap when we got home as I didn’t sleep very well last night. My feet were aching due to the cold front that came in. We got a very light dusty of snow overnight. The deck was covered lightly but it didn’t show up much in the grass. It was mighty cold walking down to do the chickens this morning as there was a brisk north wind.

Other than baking a cake I didn’t get much else done today. I haven’t even gotten any knitting done today. At the end of most days I kinda scratch my head and wonder where the time went and what I did with it.

Jim has an eye doctor appointment next Tuesday in Stillwater so he decided to wait to exchange cars then. I think he is planning to go down in the morning and come home the same day but he might end up spending one or two nights if he decides to try to get some work done too.

Nothing on the calendar for the rest of the week or the weekend. It is to warm up a bit tomorrow and even more for Friday. I have spent lots of time today at my desk as I have a little heater under my desk and I have been trying to stay warm in front of it. I don’t like cold weather anymore.

Grateful to See Tagen for a hot minute today, grateful someone gave us a solid wood door, and grateful for the help of the two young men.

Trash day today – it must be Tuesday. It is the activity of the week that grounds me to the calendar.

I made more Peanut Butter Balls dipped in Chocolate today at the request of Jason’s family. I need to remind the kids that these are special Christmas treats only and I usually only make them once a year in December. Tagen had requested some in November, I made the regular batch in December and now I am making them for the third time. There must be a pandemic going on or something!

Jim had to go to town to get some of the ingredients for me so I could get them made. I asked him to get a small box of Rice Krispies and he came home with two big boxes. Sometimes I don’t think he can hear very well or maybe he just has male selective hearing. Men seem to be able to hear what they want to hear when they want to hear.

Jim helped me with the dipping into the chocolate process. When he was done I told him to pour the hot double boiler water into the chocolate. Instead he put his hand in the pan of hot water. I cut some Aloe Vera plant and put it on his hand. He was inpatient and didn’t let it sit for very long so not sure how much good it did. Maybe he will learn to listen to me but not going to hold my breath.

We are to get snow over night tonight. Haven’t heard how much is forecast to fall. It was mighty cold walking down to take care of the chickens this morning and it hasn’t warmed up much today. They only gave me 17 eggs today but I gave them a free pass as it is cold out today.

I was watching the Lyon County Health Department website for the enrollment of another vaccine clinic as I am trying to help a couple people get appointments. They didn’t open the clinic they are having this week to on-line reservations as they found people this time otherwise. I feel so bad for the people that have to answer the phone at the health department. There is great demand for the vaccine and not enough to go around. The Health Department doesn’t know how much vaccine they are getting until the last minute and it is hard to be fair to all when so many qualify to get it. I think they are doing the best they can under the circumstances. It is hard to be patient to wait though as it can mean the difference between life and death. I’m afraid it isn’t going to get better very quickly.

I wish I could say I am surprised by the comments left on Facebook about the vaccine clinics but I’m not. I do understand how frustrated people are but the local Health Department has no control over how much vaccine they can get their hands on. They are turning it around as quickly as they can and are learning as they go.

I have some ripe bananas I need to use up by making either banana bread or a banana cake. If I make a cake I will have to give some of it away. Anyone like banana cake? I would be happy to share.

Other than making peanut butter balls I haven’t gotten much done today besides some knitting. I guess most days I say that these days. I may be in trouble if there comes a day when I have to get something done – I think I am forgetting how to do that.

We are having the rest of the hamburger soup for dinner tonight so I don’t even have to cook tonight. We have had left overs two nights in a row so tomorrow night I will have to come up with something for dinner. I’ll probably fix a pot roast as we haven’t had one of those for a bit. It is to be cold tomorrow and something cooking in the crockpot will smell good all afternoon.

One of us will have to go to town tomorrow to drop off the peanut butter balls. If the roads are slick I will have Jim do it as I am a wuss when it comes to driving on slick roads. The highway will clear pretty quickly as it is so busy so maybe by afternoon I can go. I don’t think we have any other errands to do this week so it will be a quick trip to town and back.

January has seemed to go by quickly. I have finally been able to settle into the quiet of the days and allow them to be full of empty space. It feels very comfortable to me now.

Grateful the peanut butter balls are made, grateful for leftovers again for dinner, and grateful for another quiet day at home.

I did my egg delivery today. I included two cinnamon rolls from the rolls I baked last night when I sacked up the eggs to deliver. I was in the mood to bake something and Jim said he would eat cinnamon rolls. He can’t eat two pans full though. I posted on Facebook that my house smelled divine while the rolls were cooking and a friend asked if I delivered. I took her some along with a dozen eggs. I left them at the wrong house. She went on an Easter egg hunt and found them. We both had a laugh about it. Luckily the house I left them at was her mother’s house so a stranger didn’t get involved.

I haven’t gotten anything else done today other than chores. The girls gave us 18 eggs today. I’m surprised they have stayed outside most of the day in the rain. It has rained off and on most of the day. Luckily it is over 36 out so it has come as rain and not ice or snow. My gauge shows we got 3/4 of an inch of rain so far. I’m grateful for every drop.

Jim went to town this afternoon to get something from town. I should have waited and we could have made one trip to town today instead of two but all is well. He probably needed to get out for a hot minute too.

We are having leftovers for dinner so I don’t need to do much to get dinner ready tonight. I may go take a nap when I finish writing. I slept better last night as my arm didn’t keep waking me up. It is feeling much better today and only occasionally yells at me. I’m sure by tomorrow it will be all well. My tummy has been a bit upset today. I think I remember it did this a few days after I took my cholesterol shots last time. Trusting it isn’t a sign that the C-Diff is returning. We will see what it decides to do.

I did get a bit of knitting done today. My arm was so sore the last couple of days that I couldn’t knit for long before it yelled loudly at me. It did much better today while I was knitting. My eyes were getting sleepy and this knitting project is one that I have to stay focused on and it is hard to work on when I am tired. I need to get an easier project on the needles too so I can work on it when I am tired.

Tomorrow we get to take the trash to the curb. It is the highlight of the week out here on the prairie. Ha! We don’t need any groceries so far this week so not sure when we might go to town next. Guess we will stay tucked in at home this week and enjoy the peace and quiet of the hills.

The Symphony office called and asked for some help doing a newsletter. They are going to bring the pieces that need stuffed to me to work on sometime next week. I told them I was practicing distancing and couldn’t come to them. That will give me a project for next week. They have a huge mailing list and it usually takes them a week or more to get it all together to mail. Not sure how many I will do. Grateful my arm will be better by then.

If I take a nap I will get on the hot line tonight if they need help. Usually they are busy enough to need another set of hands any night after 11:00. I can’t stay up that late unless I take a nap.

If anyone is looking for the new prairie quarters the Tallgrass Prairie Preserve has them. I was able to get a roll of them last week. They told Jim they were wanting to get rid of them. They are open most days from 9:00 -4:00. Let me know if you need me to runner and get some for you. I did that for my Aunt Marylyn as she was looking for some.

The weather today kinda matches my mood – a bit blah today. A day to stay inside and do some internal work on myself. It is the type of day that invites me to slow down and go within.

Grateful for the rain we received on the prairie today, grateful my friend found her gift of eggs after having to go on an Easter egg hunt, and grateful my arm is feeling much better.

Had a bit of a rough night’s sleep. The arm where I got the COVID vaccine ached badly most of the night. I would fall asleep and the pain in the arm would wake me up. I had trouble finding a position that was comfortable that I could maintain for a bit. Anyone else that got the vaccine have this trouble? It makes me a little nervous to think about getting the second shot as that is the one where the more severe side effects happen. I’m thinking it is a good thing I am getting the vaccine as not sure my body would handle the real thing very well.

Jim did his presentation this afternoon via Zoom after watching his church hold their annual meeting. He had a busy afternoon. I took a nap. Glad one of us accomplished something.

I have hamburger soup cooking in the crock pot. I didn’t have any lunch and am getting hungry from the smell of it cooking. When I get done writing we will have dinner.

The girls gave me 21 eggs again today. They are surprising me by staying so active even when the weather is crappy. It has been cloudy, wet and cold most of the day. We have had a bit of moisture off and on today – mainly off. More moisture is to come in this evening and hang around a bit. We sure could use several inches of rain. I trust we will get more rain than ice or snow but we are on the border of the front so it could go either way. I’ll take what ever moisture we can get.

I got on the Hot Line last night and handled five calls. No suicides for a change. Had a couple tough other calls though but muddled through. Sometimes it amazes me how people make decisions and the consequences that occur as a result. Reminds me each time how very human we all are.

Other than the egg delivery I don’t have anything on my schedule for tomorrow. It will be a rainy day on the prairie so I will probably sit and knit and watch the rain. Maybe it will be a good day to dust as the rain will quiet down the dust outside.

I do have a few letters I want to write. I have not been keeping up my letter writing activity and would like to get a few written again. I am really missing some of my friends and need to connect with them. Not the same as a face-to-face conversation but the next best thing. So looking forward to spring when many of my friends and I will be fully vaccinated and we can have others to dinner and meet for deep conversations.

The blanket I am knitting is coming along. I have three repeats done and the fourth is close to being done. It is getting long enough to provide some warmth on my lap as I work on it. I like the colors so it is fun to do. It still amazes me you can turn balls of yarn into a blanket. I trust I will always remain amazed at some of the simple things in life – like knitting and gathering eggs. I am reminded every time of what a miracle life is when I gather eggs. I’ve had chickens for over five years now and they still amaze and delight me when they give me eggs.

One more week of January to go. It always feels to me like winter is over when January is done. We have had a mild winter this year with not much snow or bitterly cold weather. We still may get some but it won’t last long if we do. I am so ready for Spring and green grass and prairies.

Jim has already planned dinner for tomorrow night. He has some leftover scalloped potatoes he wants to eat. I will have hamburger soup again. Sounds easy to me. It is so easy to fix dinner once we decide what we are going to have.

I told Jim yesterday that days seem to pass even when I don’t do anything. We are settled into a slow pattern of quietly going through our days with not much urgency or rush. It has been a bit since we had to be somewhere at a certain time. I think I am forgetting how to do that. Time doesn’t seem to have much meaning these days other than crossing another day off the calendar.

Grateful for the entertainment the chickens provide us, grateful for crock pots, and grateful for the moisture that is coming to the prairie overnight and tomorrow.

It has been 24 hours since we got our first COVID vaccine. Both of us are experiencing a bit of a sore arm around the injection site but not bad. No different than what I feel after most shots I get. I hear it is the second shot when one may experience more severe symptoms.

Chase County is giving vaccines to its oldest citizens this coming Tuesday. You have to be over 75 for this first round. Sure wish the counties could get enough vaccine to meet all the demand.

I have stayed inside most of the day. It was a bit cold when I went down to let the chickens out this morning. They gave me 16 eggs this morning. They had laid 18 eggs but had broken two of them. They almost got rid of the evidence but the clean up crew missed some of the shells. They don’t make good crooks.

Yesterday Jim brought up five more eggs for a total of 21 for the day. That was a new record for this group. I have three dozen eggs in the refrigerator now with more in the egg basket on the counter. I will deliver three dozen Monday so am even right now. But by Monday I should have at least two more dozen in the refrigerator if not three.

I knitted for a bit this morning. I have finished the third repeat on the blanket I am making. I altered the pattern I used on the birthday blanket and the repeats are shorter than that one. I needed eight repeats on the birthday blanket and am guessing I will need ten for this one. We will see. I don’t have a recipient in mind for this blanket and no date that it needs to be completed. I work on it in small chunks of time and am enjoying the time I am spending with it.

We are having leftovers for dinner so I don’t have to fix dinner tonight. Tomorrow it is to rain or snow and I plan on either making chili or hamburger soup in the crock pot.

I took a nap this afternoon. I want to get on the Hot Line tonight and I can only do that if I take a nap. The Hot Line was busy last night but I got too tired to get on. I have to be in top form when I get on or I don’t feel I can think fast enough and react like I have been trained.

Jim has a Zoom presentation he is doing tomorrow afternoon for the Stillwater Historical Society. Monday is egg delivery day and Tuesday we take the trash to the curb. Wednesday and Thursday I have a shift on the hot line in the evenings. Other than that our week is full of empty space. You would think with all this empty space I would be getting lots done but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I have gotten very good at doing nothing.

Jim may go to Stillwater one day next week and exchange cars and bring another load of stuff up. He didn’t get to go this week as his car developed an issue. He has that fixed now so we will see if he gets to go next week. We are to get some winter weather the first of the week. He may be able to go later in the week.

I’d like to get my tax package to the accountant but am still waiting on tax forms to come in the mail. Jim hasn’t gathered the information I need from him yet either. It will probably be the second week of February before everything comes in and I can take them in.

It has been a cold, cloudy day on the prairie. We got some sleet for a hot minute earlier today. Rain or snow is to come to the prairie this evening and hang around for a bit. We need the moisture. I miss the sun though. I keep reminding myself that spring will be here soon. February is a short month and we are almost done with January. I get excited when I think that by the time Spring comes our vaccines will be fully effective and we can start getting out a bit more with precautions. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I deposited my stimulus check on-line last night. It still amazes me that by sending a picture of the front and back of a check it can get deposited into your account. I love my on-line bank. I can withdraw cash out of any ATM and they refund the ATM fees.

By March 1 we have to have our reservations and dates in to the Y Camp. We have to decide what size cabin we want this year and when we want to go and for how long. Sure wish I had a crystal ball to know if the kids will be able to come out this year or not. There is a big price difference between a two bedroom and three bedroom cabin. I hate to waste the money and space if they won’t be able to come out. We have another couple of weeks to make our decision but once it is made we are stuck with it as they sell out each year and changing cabins is almost impossible. We wasted a three bedroom cabin last year with only having guests for four nights of the month we were there.

Grateful for round one of our vaccine, grateful for my knitting project to help fill my hours, and grateful for my chickens and all the entertainment they provide.

We got our first COVID vaccine today. I was very impressed with the efficiency of the Lyon County Health Department. We were both in and out in less than 20 minutes which included the 15 minute mandatory wait after you get the shot. We go back February 19 for the second one. They will send us a time for that shot when the date gets closer.

We dropped cookies off at Jason and Michelle’s houses and then went to Cottonwood Falls to dump recycling and pick up Jim’s car. The recycling trailer had been emptied but was almost full again. We were able to get a car load of stuff in it and then we came home.

I handled five calls on the hot line last night. Three were high risk texters and I had to get the supervisor involved in them to monitor the calls. They watch the conversation in case they need to call emergency services for the texter. Luckily I was able to talk them down to a cooler calm and that didn’t have to happen. I usually can handle two cals at a time but when they are high risk I only take one at a time.

I hit my 200 hour mark last night. I had been on the hot line taking calls for over 200 hours now. My original commitment to them was for 200 hours so that is paid off. Now I can decide how many hours a week I want to volunteer and if I want to stay on the schedule or just pop in to see if they need more hands. For now, I think I will keep my schedule as it has been and go from there. I mostly enjoy volunteering for them although it can be stressful at times.

I cleaned the bathrooms this morning. They were disgusting again. I’m not sure why I let things go so long before I clean. I am getting lazy these days I think.

I slept well last night so didn’t take a nap today. It feels so good to get a good night’s sleep. Wish I could do that every night.

I got my stimulus check today. I will get that in the bank this evening. Good to cross that off my pending list.

I’m fixing green chicken for dinner tonight. That will be another easy dinner. Now to decide what to fix tomorrow night. Never ending it seems – deciding what to fix. That is the hardest part of the meal.

The girls gave me 18 eggs this morning. Jim hasn’t been down this afternoon yet to see if they have any more for us today. I now have 2 dozen eggs in the refrigerator with more in the egg basket on the counter. Easy come – easy go. Three dozen will go out Monday to my regular customers.

Jim’s car fix was an easy one and not too expensive. That was a relief to him. Good to have his car back. I love small town repair shops. They left the keys in the car and asked him to put a check under the door. Bet they don’t do that in big cities.

I’m so disgusted with the KS legislature and the disregard for safety precautions regarding the virus. We all look to our political leaders to be leaders and in my humble opinion the Republicans in office in KS are failing. I just don’t understand why they don’t listen to the science and put their little egos aside and do the right thing.

Grateful to have gotten shot number one today, grateful for all the health professionals that are doing a bang up job getting the vaccines out, and grateful I reached my 200 hour mark on the Hot Line.

I sold six dozen eggs today. Yay! My refrigerator is cleaned out. I have a little over a dozen in the egg basket on the counter. The girls gave me 20 eggs today. By the end of the day tomorrow I will have two dozen back in the refrigerator with some in the egg basket. Easy come – easy go. It is nice to empty them out though and start again.

Just after I wrote my blog yesterday I noticed the Lyon County Health Department was offering a vaccine clinic to those over 65. I quickly went on-line and followed the link and got appointments for both Jim and myself for tomorrow afternoon. Shortly after I did that, two dear friends sent me messages to let me know about the clinic so we could get signed up. I so appreciated them letting me know.

I called this morning to make sure that we qualified since we live in Chase County. We do. It will be a relief to get the vaccine and be on our way to feeling safer to get out and about. I understand the need to continue to wear our masks and social distance for a bit but it will be nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It sounds like Chase County is getting close to offering its first clinic. They are starting with those over 75 and working down from there. I doubt that they know how many shots they can give until the. last minute when they get their vaccine.

I handled six calls on the hotline last night including a high risk texter. The supervisor was right there with me through the call and helped me get the person to a cooler calm. Again I never will know what the rest of the story is and have to trust that the person was still alive this morning. I got on the hot line for about 30 minutes this morning as they were busy then. I have another shift tonight. I am 1 1/2 hour from reaching my goal of volunteering for two hundred hours. That should happen tonight.

I took a long nap yesterday and last night I had trouble finding sleep. I finally fell asleep around 6:00 this morning and only slept until 8:30. I took a one hour nap this afternoon. We will see what happens tonight. Sleep remains a mystery to me.

Since we have to go to town tomorrow afternoon for our vaccines I’m going to bake cookies for the kids and take them to town with us to drop off. I don’t think we have any other errands to run other than dumping the recycling stuff. They haven’t called to let Jim know his car is done so we haven’t made it back over to Cottonwood Falls yet. My car is full of stuff that needs dumped.

We are having fish for dinner tonight. I’ll have a piece of grilled salmon and Jim will have his beer battered baked fish. I’m going to fix sweet potato fries for me and tater tots for Jim. It will be an easy dinner to make. I threatened Jim with fish anytime he can’t help me come up with something to fix for dinner.

We had changed Jim’s car insurance to my policy as it was going to be cheaper for him. When he cancelled his insurance he found out his house insurance was going to double if he removed both cars. We had to cancel one of the cars from my policy and keep it on Jim’s. My insurance company will send me a refund check. What a racket for the insurance companies.

No big plans for the weekend. Jim is doing a Zoom lecture for the Stillwater Historical Society Sunday afternoon. He only has 20 – 30 minutes to talk so it will be short. He didn’t make it to Stillwater this week as his car has been in the shop. Hopefully it will get done yet this week so he can go to Stillwater early next week. He needs to get the Honda titled in KS and the car needs to be here for him to do that. I think his plan is to go down and come back the same day.

It was a beautiful day on the prairie today. The temperature was in the high 50’s which is amazing for the middle of January in KS. We have a chance for some snow on Monday and it will be down in the 30’s next week. Got to love the weather in Kansas – you never know what you will get. I can’t complain though as we have had a very mild winter this year. I’m getting excited for Spring though.

Still processing the change I our government yesterday. It will be interesting to watch what happens with the new administration and if things can get done. I have my doubts due to the great divide but hopefully I am wrong. I am hearing road blocks being put up already – so much for a call for unity. I wonder what it will take for the divide to begin to close.

Grateful for my egg customers that emptied my refrigerator of eggs today, grateful for the appointments to get our vaccine tomorrow, and grateful for an easy dinner to fix tonight.

There were tears of relief and joy shed in our house today as we watched the new President being installed. A big sigh of relief fell over the prairie. The ceremony was beautiful. The poet was simply amazing. The music spot on. Biden’s remarks hit the right notes (although I cringed once or twice). May peace be restored in our nation’s capital was our prayer.

It was alarming to see the photos of the national guard sleeping at our nation’s capital building. To think we have come to this is still beyond my belief. The division is wide and deep. Biden has his work cut out. I trust we all give him a chance and understand it will take time.

I finally found the KS state website to get vaccine information but alas it is mainly blank with information to come. Not sure how OK is getting enough vaccine to inject those over 65 when KS doesn’t seem to be getting it. We will patiently, or not so patiently, continue to wait until the supply chain gets restocked and trust that when the timing is right it will happen. From what I have read they recommend you continue the same precautions anyways so guess getting it sooner won’t change much.

We took Jim’s car to the repair shop in Cottonwood Falls around noon. We tried to dump the recycling but the trailer was still too full to add more to it. Went to Emporia and got some international stamps for Jim and mailed Aunt Marylyn’s prairie quarters to her. We went to Walmart and picked up the stuff we needed from there and then came home after a quick stop at Fanestil’s for bacon and turkey.

The drive to town today seemed to take three hours. Not sure why I was doing the out of time thing today. It was good to get back home. I took a long afternoon’s nap as soon as I put the groceries away. I had woken up at 4:00 this morning when Jim came to bed and wasn’t able to go back to sleep. I have a Crisis Hot Line shift tonight and needed some rest before I could handle my shift.

I have scalloped potatoes with ham cooking for Jim’s dinner. I will have some plain ham slices or else a left over hamburger. White potatoes and I are not friends these days. It has been over a week now since I took my last antibiotic for C-Diff and so far, so good. I trust I haven’t jinxed myself for mentioning it. I still have to watch what I eat as certain foods still don’t sit well. White potatoes is one of them as well as anything raw. I can do limited amounts of beans which is an improvement. I still am avoiding dairy although I can tolerate small amounts of it. Trusting that over time my stomach will heal and I won’t have these limitations. As long as the C-Diff doesn’t return I am happy.

Found a new ball of yarn on the floor this morning all messed up. Tony, Jim’s big cat, had some fun with it last night. Jim untangled it while we were watching the swearing in ceremony. Tony is on my shit list. He better not mess with the blanket I am making or he will be banned from the house.

I still haven’t received my stimulus check. They have to mail it to me. Last time it got forwarded to Jim’s address so thinking that might be what happened this time. My forwarding has expired so am not sure where it might have gotten sent if that happened. Not sure how to track it down. Guess it will show up (or not) someday.

Nothing on our calendar for the rest of the week. We will have to go to Cottonwood to pick up Jim’s car whenever it is ready and hopefully be able to dump the recycling stuff then. It will be another quiet rest of the week at home on the prairie.

Grateful for our new President and administration, grateful the grocery list was filled today, and grateful to be home for the next couple of days.

Happy birthday to my grandson Tagen. He turns 15 today. Where has the time gone to. He has grown into a man this last year. He is now close to 6 foot tall and towers over me. He is a gentle, kind soul who is sensitive and caring. I sure wish I could be with him today to celebrate.

We went into Cottonwood Falls to run some errands this afternoon. We stopped at the National Prairie Preserve and was able to get $15 worth of the new Prairie Preserve quarters. Aunt Marylyn wanted some so I will get hers in the mail to her tomorrow.

We deposited a check at the bank and then Jim checked with a local mechanic to see if they could fix his car. They can so he will take it in tomorrow morning. We tried to dump recycling stuff off but the trailer was too full. Hopefully they will get it dumped tomorrow and when I take Jim to drop his car off we can dump it then.

I need to go to Emporia tomorrow and run a few errands. I need some groceries and need to stop at Fanestil’s for some turkey and bacon. Jim needs a couple of international stamps so will run to the post office and get those while I am in town.

A friend from Stillwater let us know that OSU is offering vaccines to retired OSU staff. Jim gets his pension from them as they are the umbrella university of Langston where he worked. I called to schedule appointments and found out they are only offering the vaccines to staff that worked on the OSU campus. Dang. So close to getting a vaccine. Guess we will continue waiting until KS gets its act together and we get one here.

I got on the crisis hot line for an hour last night and handled two callers. Neither call felt good to me when we were done. Both had problems bigger than a short text call could handle. But both were in a calmer spot when we finished so maybe it was helpful for a hot minute. If I’m not too tired tonight I will get on again. I didn’t take a nap today so we will see if I can stay awake long enough to get on when they get busy late night.

I have 4 more hours to go to complete my required 200 hours of service. I should do that this week. I have interacted with over 350 texters. Some calls still haunt me today. I will never know the rest of the story.

Jim is having tacos for dinner – I will have a hamburger. Easy and quick to fix. I’m all about doing things that are easy these days. Now to decide what to fix for tomorrow night.

The girls gave me 19 eggs this morning and I am hoping there are a few more when Jim goes down in a bit to give them some water. A friend let me know she will pick up two dozen eggs on Thursday. That will take me down to three dozen in the refrigerator – at least until I gather eggs tomorrow morning.

It has been another beautiful winter day on the prairie. The temperature has been in the mid 40’s with bright blue skies. The wind has been in a bit of a hurry off and on today. It feels colder than it is outside with the wind chill. It is to warm up some tomorrow but we have a chance of snow later this week. Gotta love winters in KS and never knowing from day to day what to expect.

I’m so grateful the inauguration is tomorrow and Trump goes off into the sunset. It is disturbing to read the reports that are coming out about the invasion of the Capital building. It will be interesting to see where this all goes. I truly trust that Congress will figure out how to get something done and the bottleneck gets broken free.

Grateful to have found some prairie quarters, grateful for my grandson Tagen, and grateful for all the eggs I am getting.

Another day almost done and another day in which I have no idea where the time went to. I haven’t done anything of any importance today. Really not sure where the day has gone.

I delivered eggs to a customer in Cottonwood Falls around noon. My other regular weekly customer didn’t need any this week. A friend came over and got two dozen this afternoon. I still have three dozen in my refrigerator. They come in faster than I am able to sell them.

Jim is out taking a hike. It is too windy and cold for me to go. I am a wuss. I do not like walking in cold, windy weather.

I laid down for a bit this afternoon but didn’t sleep much. It felt good to lay down though and rest. I didn’t sleep very well last night. I was up between 3:00 and 6:00 and then got one more hour of sleep after that. One of the biggest mysteries in my life is understanding why I sleep sometimes but most often do not sleep well.

One of my memories on Facebook said that six years ago Tagen was spending the day with me. We were going to go outside to do something and he took a while to come out. When I asked him what he had been doing when he finally came outside he said he had to stop and take a scratch. That made me smile. I’m glad I have a record of some of the cute things my grandkids have said over the years.

We are having leftover Ham and Corn Chowder for dinner tonight. That will be easy. Now to decide what to fix for tomorrow night.

When we were coming home from Florence yesterday the light that indicates the parking brake is on came on in Jim’s car. The parking brake wasn’t on so he wants to get that checked out before he drives the car to Stillwater this week. He will try to get that taken care of tomorrow.

I finally lost a few pounds today. I had been stuck on the same weight for over six weeks. I had decided that was going to be where my body was going to stay at. I don’t have a goal in mind this time. I am eating what I think is the right amount for me and I’ll see where what my body decides is the ideal weight for me with this amount of food. It is nice to be getting back down again though. My jeans are much more comfortable now. I am still 12 pounds higher than the lowest I got before. It’s been over a year since I was at this weight. Glad I have been able to drop some of the weight I had gained.

I need to go to the bank and to get a few groceries sometime this week. Jim needs to go to the post office to get two international stamps. He also needs to get his car looked at so he might run the errands for us this week. Since I got out yesterday I am good at staying home the rest of the week.

I have my car loaded with recycling stuff that needs to get dumped in the trailer in Cottonwood Falls. They usually have the trailer empty by afternoon tomorrow so it is easier to dump stuff in. If I remember I will drive over and dump it tomorrow sometime. It is amazing how much recycling material we dump every other week or so.

I’m in the mood to make cinnamon rolls again so may make those tomorrow and share with the kids. I don’t eat them but I love to smell them. Jim enjoys them.

My mind has been quiet today. I will be able to breathe more easily after Wednesday and the new president is installed. I keep waiting to hear about trouble in the state capitals or in DC. I truly trust that things will quiet down nationally and the government will start functioning more efficiently again. In my opinion it is still very broken but it is what it is. Not much I can do about any of it.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for my egg customers, and grateful for leftovers that give me a night off from cooking.

We had the best afternoon for the longest time. We went to Marion to visit my Aunt Glenda and Uncle Jack. Glenda graciously agreed to take 8 dozen eggs off my hands so we took them over to her. We ended up visiting for two hours. Every time I spend time with either Aunt Glenda or Aunt Marylyn it is like getting a visit from my mother. Priceless!

We stopped at the cemetery in Florence on the way home. I hadn’t been by for a bit. I like to check and make sure the headstone is in good shape. Aunt Glenda had put out poinsettias and everything looked good.

I knitted for a bit before we went to Marion. I have the first repeat done and am starting on the second one. It is a bit bright but I think I will like it.

I have an egg delivery to make tomorrow in Cottonwood Falls. I will get rid of another three dozen eggs then. That will leave me with three more dozen in the refrigerator. I need to find some more regular egg customers.

We are going to have plain hamburgers for dinner when Jim gets done talking with his son. They usually chat for an hour so no rush to get dinner started. It won’t take me long to do hamburgers, veggies for me and potatoes for Jim. Not very original tonight.

The hills were so pretty this afternoon. Coming home the sun was setting and the shadows caused some beautiful scenes. I love the drive over to Marion – I think it goes through the heart of the Flint Hills.

Other than the egg delivery I don’t have any thing on my calendar tomorrow. Tuesday is the big day of the week – we take the trash to the curb. Wednesday and Thursday I have my Hot Line shifts. Jim is going to Stillwater one day this week to exchange cars and bring another load back up. Not sure when he is going yet. Someday soon I need to go to Wichita and go to Costco. My list of things I need from Costco is growing. We might try to go pay a visit to Aunt Marylyn when we go.

I didn’t get a nap today since we went visiting. I didn’t sleep very well last night. May be an early bedtime for me tonight.

I’m feeling a bit nostalgic this afternoon. Going to my parents graves and spending time with Aunt Glenda and Uncle Jack brought back so many memories from my past. It also reminded me how much we are missing out of due to the virus. May I never take for granted again the ability to go see the people I love.

Grateful for a wonderful visit with Aunt Glenda and Uncle Jack, grateful I am down to three dozen eggs (at least until I gather another 18 eggs tomorrow), and grateful for the beauty of the hills today.

A nicer day on the prairie today weather wise. We hit the low 40’s today with bright blue skies and little wind. It was a relief to have the wind quiet down today. The chickens enjoyed being outside today after having to stay inside most of the day yesterday.

I made ham and corn chowder for dinner tonight. I cooked it in the crockpot. It was really good but not much different than the quick cook method. Just easier to fix in the crock pot. I love fixing dinner around noon and putting it in the crock pot and then like magic it is ready at dinner time with no work. Thawing hamburger for dinner tomorrow night – not sure what it will become though.

I knitted on the new blanket I am making. I’m anxious to get the first repeat done to see if I like the color combination. Halfway there. So far – so good.

Took a short nap this afternoon. I went to bed at 8:00 last night and slept until 11:00. Then I was up until 2:00 and slept off and on until 8:00 this morning. Next time I take my shots I will do them at bedtime so the Benadryl doesn’t throw the rest of my day off.

Worked on taxes for a while this afternoon. They are almost ready to take to the accountant. Need to wait on the tax forms to come in from the bank and social security, etc. Good to have that project well on it’s way to being done. I need to file a report with the Secretary of State but that won’t take long. Jim needs to gather some numbers for me too. This will be our first joint return. I’m anxious to see how we come out this year.

I haven’t received my $600 stimulus check yet. They have to mail mine to me so it is a wait. Jim got his deposited in his checking account two weeks ago. I don’t think I am going to use mine to make more masks this time. Masks are easy to get these days so the need isn’t there any more. I’ll probably donate it to a food bank. There are so many in dire need these days.

I’ll probably get on the hot line tonight since I took a nap. I only have 5 more hours to go to reach my goal of putting in 200 hours. It will be nice to cross that line next week. I started my training on April 20 last year and the 200 hours doesn’t include the training time.

I was looking at my calendar for last year and realized now is about the time I started doing taxes for other people through AARP. I will miss doing them this year. The site in Emporia is not going to be open this year. I’m thinking about getting a software package that would allow me to do taxes and advertise to Seniors that I would be happy to help them do their taxes for free. I think we could figure out a way to do it safely for both of us. I’ll think some more on this and then decide what to do.

Grateful for a very quiet day on the prairie, grateful my tax project is almost completed, and grateful the blanket project has been started.

It is a wintery day on the prairie today. We didn’t get much snow but the wind has been in a big hurry all day. Our weather station clocked several 50 – 55 MPH wind gusts. There is a fog or haze on the horizon. Not a day to be outside if you can avoid getting out.

I worked on my tax prep folder today. I got the rental properties information gathered. Three of the four properties had a good year. One barely broke even due to needing a new HVAC and lots of little repairs. They add up quickly over a year’s time. I called my accountant with a question and now have to gather more information for the Airbnb but that will help reduce my tax liability. I’ll work on that another day.

Gave myself my shots after taking a Benadryl 30 minutes before I injected myself. The Benadryl made me very sleepy so had to take a long nap this afternoon. I now feel like I have a bad hangover and could go back to sleep. I had trouble again getting the shot to discharge. One of the sites has a black and blue mark and the other is a tad bit swollen. Wonder how long it will be before this becomes routine and easy. I think the old fashioned shot would be easier than these new ones that inject automatically.

The walk down to the chicken coop was darn right cold this morning. The girls went outside to eat the oats and then went right back in. When Jim went down with water this afternoon they were all inside so he locked them up so he doesn’t have to go down after dinner. The girls gave me 17 eggs this morning.

I got the new blanket I want to made cast on the needles last night. Feels good to have this new project started. I haven’t knitted yet today. I think I am too sleepy to knit this evening. It may be a very early bath and bedtime for me tonight.

Still haven’t decided what to do with the hamburger I have thawed for tonight’s dinner. I might make gravy train for Jim and a plain hamburger for me. I should have made a soup this morning in the crock pot. It is a soup eating type of day.

Jim is out dumping the compost and getting the mail. He likes cold weather better than I do. Once I get cold I have a hard time getting warm again.

Today is my brother Chad’s 66th birthday. It is hard to think of my siblings as being in their 60’s and 70’s. I still don’t feel 67 most days. Where has the time gone?

I took 9 calls on the hot line last night. Several were hard to know what to do or what to tell them. We are not allowed to give advice and on several of them that was so tempting to do. I doubt I get on tonight since I am not feeling on top of my game. I only have 5 more hours of my 200 hour commitment to go. I’ve handled almost 400 calls during those hours. Still debating what I am going to do when my 200 hour commitment has been met. I’m not sure if I want to keep my regularly scheduled shifts or just hop on when the mood strikes.

The news about the vaccines is not good today. I am mentally preparing myself that it will be the end of March before we get our first shots. Jim is thinking the end of February. We will see who comes closest. Nothing really changes when we get our shots for a bit anyways. I’m still thinking no travel this year and Jim is thinking we will get to go somewhere this fall. Again, time will tell.

My mind is in slow motion this afternoon. Hard to capture a thought long enough to act on it. It may be a challenge fixing dinner. It is probably a good thing I don’t drink as I would not be a good drunk or handle a hangover very well.

Grateful the shots got done today, grateful for my brother Chad, and grateful the tax prep is halfway done.

Tuesday night I took my last antibiotic from my 12 week regiment. It was good to have that done and am trusting the C-Diff does not return. I am optimistic since I had that negative test about 10 weeks ago. We will see what happens.

I baked Jim a big batch of Snickerdoodle cookies today. He was almost out of them. He should have enough now to last several weeks. I love baking cookies and he loves to eat them. I may bake up a batch of peanut butter cookies for the grandkids tomorrow. I like to have some in the freezer so when they ask for some I can take them over if I don’t have time to bake.

Last night I handled nine calls on the hot line. They were very busy when I signed off but I had been on for three hours and had reached my limit. The last call I handled was a suicide that met all the requirements to get the supervisor involved. I was able to talk them down and they promised to text back in if the urge came back. The supervisor monitored what I was doing but didn’t have to jump in. It is nice to know they are watching and are there in case the call goes bad. Had a couple other suicidal people but they didn’t ladder up to getting the supervisor involved. I have another shift tonight.

Took another long nap this afternoon. I didn’t sleep well last night. I think the sound of the wind kept waking me up. We had a wind gust of over 51 MPH today and sustained winds of 25 – 30 most of the day. I almost put rocks in my pockets to go down to take care of the chickens this morning. The girls came out to eat the oats and sunflower seeds but when I would look down this afternoon most of them were inside out of the wind.

We had left overs for dinner tonight – well Jim did and I fixed a piece of salmon for myself. I needed the refrigerator cleaned out to make room for eggs. The dogs got a special dinner tonight as they got some left overs too. We are pretty good at using up left overs but there always seems to be some that we don’t get too. I have hamburger thawing for tomorrow night but no clue what I am going to fix with it.

Tomorrow I have to give myself two shots of the cholesterol medication. I need to remember to take some Benadryl 30 minutes before I inject myself. I hope the welts don’t come back as the other ones are just now going away. I really don’t want to have welts on my thighs all the time.

I told Jim at dinner tonight I don’t know how the days manage to slip away and at the end of the day I really have no clue what I did all day. I don’t know how I ever managed to raise kids and work back in the day. I just don’t seem to be able to muster much productivity most days. I haven’t even started a knitting project. Not quite sure where the hours go. I have gotten really good at doing nothing.

No plans for the weekend and nothing special on the calendar for next week. I look forward to watching the inauguration on Wednesday and will breathe better when it is safely completed. I worry about what violence is going to happen next week. Nothing I can do about any of it so it is a waste of energy to worry. Oh how I wish this great divide could be healed. It seems to be growing wider instead.

Grateful for left overs, grateful for the work I do on the hot line, and grateful for the smell of homemade cookies baking earlier today.

I went to Emporia today to take care of some errands. I mailed the hat and scarf, picked up the monthly receipts from my rental property manager for the year so I can do my tax prep work, picked up my prescription and got some groceries. I also dropped off Tagen’s birthday present and some cookies for the grandkids. It always feels good to have all of the errands taken care of. But it feels even better to get back to the prairie. I’m not a city girl any more.

I took a long nap this afternoon. I slept off and on last night and have a Crisis Hot Line shift tonight and needed some sleep so I can manage my shift. Jim took another long walk while I slept.

I fixed green chicken for dinner. It is the simplest recipe ever and so good. Put raw chicken tenders in the crock pot, pour one jar of Guacamole Salsa over them and cook for 2 – 3 hours. So tender and delicious and easy to make. I fried some apples for me, Jim had a baked potato and we both had green beans. Now to decide what is for dinner tomorrow night.

When I went down to the chickens this morning to gather eggs, there was a chicken sitting on top of the eggs in the nesting box. I picked her up and put her on the ground while I gathered the eggs. When I picked her back up to put her back in the box I discovered she had laid her egg on the ground. Talk about a fresh egg! I had it for breakfast.

Got a notification from the Hot Line asking us to consider adding a shift or two to our schedule next week. They are anticipating an increase in the number of calls due to all the national tension that is occurring. It is a tough time for a lot of people right now on many levels.

I got a letter from Aunt Marylyn today. It always brightens my day to get a letter from her. I am going on the hunt for some prairie quarters for her. I happened to get one of the new quarters at the post office today. Last I had heard the Tallgrass Prairie National Park has some so need to go over there and see if I can find some for her. I also need to check Lyon County Bank – at one point they had some too.

I went down yesterday to find some yarn so I could make a prayer shawl for a request I had. I found a box of shawls I had made a long time ago so picked one of those out and sent it on its way today. Now I can start the new blanket I ordered yarn for instead. Knitting is my go-to relaxation method when I need to escape for a bit.

The prairie has fire warnings for tomorrow. The wind is to be in a hurry and the temperatures are going to drop. Not much chance for moisture though – just high winds. We are so dry the fire danger is high. There is a chance for a wintery mix on Friday but then it is going to warm back up again next week. Almost hasn’t felt like winter for long this year. That is a good thing for me – I don’t like cold weather. But we need moisture so will welcome some if it comes in what ever format on Friday.

It is beginning to look more and more like we won’t get our vaccine shots until February sometime, if then. A friend that lives in New York State said 7 million people in New York State are over 65 and they only have 330,000 shots. Wow! It is going to take a lot of coordination and patience before people get their vaccines. Who would have thought a year ago March when we went into isolation that it would drag on this long. Good thing we are used to it at this point. I am jealous at my Oklahoma friends as most of them that are over 65 have gotten their first shots already. Come on Kansas, get your act together and lets get this done.

My propane tank got filled today. One advantage of a mild winter is I haven’t used very much propane this winter. Trusting I will carry a credit over to next year so the bill for next week will be less. I prepay for propane every year to take advantage of the discounted price. It is always a guess as to how much I will need.

No plans for tomorrow or the rest of the week. I have to give myself my shots for my cholesterol on Friday. Trusting I won’t develop welts again this time. The ones I got almost a month ago are slowly disappearing but are still visible. I am to use new injection sites each month – guess the welts will help me remember where I injected myself the month before.

Still sitting with all the chaos in the world and deciding how I want to face it. I see splits occurring in families as a result of siblings being on opposite sides. I see friendships being broken. It is hard to know what to do and how to think. Jim and I keep talking about how we build bridges between the two sides. It seems impossible at times though. I know what a person believes as far as politics is just a part of who they are but I am struggling to find common ground with them and maintain friendships when they have fallen down the rabbit hole in their beliefs.

Grateful for a letter from Aunt Marylyn today, grateful the errands got done today, and grateful for freshly laid eggs.

I knew what day of the week it is without looking today as today is the day I gather trash for Jim to take to the curb. Gotta love regular, weekly, predictable things. Not too many of those left in my life right now.

I went on the hot line last night and only took two calls. Both were very hard calls – one disengaged rather quickly and the other one is one that will haunt me. Sure wish I knew the rest of his story and if he is still alive today. I am so grateful I can go back and reread the convo I had with him. I was awake part of the night thinking about it and it helped to release the energy from the call when I reread it and realized I had said what I had been trained to say. He ended the call just when I was going to get the supervisor involved for a rescue. Those are hard and hard to release the outcome. I only took the two calls as I needed time to decompress after the two calls ended. Maybe tonight will be a better night.

I haven’t gotten much done today besides gathering the trash. I slept in later than normal and haven’t found much motivation to do anything. I did go down to my stash and found a prayer shawl already made. When I go to Emporia next, I will take it to my son-in-love so he can mail it to the receiver. I need to get the last 35 rows of the scarf made and then I can get the hat and scarf mailed.

The girls gave me 16 eggs this morning. I need to go down and give them some fresh straw. It has been wet enough that they tracked in the coop and their straw is a mess. Their eggs get dirty when the straw is dirty. Need to train them to wipe their feet at the door before they come back in.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today. Temperatures are in the mid 50’s with bright blue skies. Can’t ask for a better winter day than this one. Our winter has been very mild so far.

Tagen’s birthday present came in so I will get it wrapped and delivered when I take Tim the prayer shawl. I may even bake them some cookies to go with it. Jim is almost out of Snickerdoodle cookies so need to bake another batch of those too. I’ll dump some of my extra eggs on them too.

Still haven’t seen any sites to sign up to get the vaccine. I think I am on a list for Chase County but not sure. Not sure much will change once we get the vaccine anyways as they are still recommending we wear masks and social distance. It feels like the end of all of this is getting closer yet is still so far away.

I got a message from my old doctor’s office that they have no vaccines to give and have no idea when the local health departments or pharmacies might have it available. I’m sure they are overwhelmed with phone calls from patients asking about it. I was grateful to see they moved the age down to 65 in the next round of vaccine priorities so now I qualify. We will see if KS accepts that recommendation. I do agree that nursing homes, jails and other places where large numbers of people live in the same building take priority over me.

Have some sirloin steaks thawing for dinner tonight. May fire up the grill as it is warm out today. Found a recipe that is to help tenderize them so will give it a try. They aren’t my favorite steaks but need to use them up.

Grateful for the lessons the hot line teaches me, grateful for this beautiful winter day, and grateful a vaccine is available soon.

Another beautiful winter day on the prairie that felt more like pre-spring than winter outside. Jim took a long hike this afternoon and enjoyed the sunshine. I took a nap.

I delivered eggs to two customers today. I mailed the birthday girl her blanket, deposited a check and filled the car with gas. It was good to get those errands completed.

I got the living room detailed cleaned today. I found lots of dirt. It was way overdue to be cleaned. I rearranged a few things and took some things down to the basement. It amazes me how things pile up and I don’t notice them until I start really cleaning deep., It will feel good to sit in my corner chair tonight and enjoy the freshly cleaned room. Hoping I get the dining room done tomorrow.

I fixed an easy dinner tonight. When I went to the freezer to see what I could find to make, I saw some ham steaks from our Christmas ham. I just had too warm those up and add some veggies for me and potatoes for Jim. I also fixed Jim some ham salad. I laid out some sirloin steak for tomorrow night. Not sure how I am going to fix it but I’ll come up with something.

Tim let me know he was using the cookbook I gave them for Christmas. He tried the meatloaf recipe that he enjoys when I make it. He said it turned out good. I’m glad the recipe book is being used.

Since I took a nap I will probably stay up late and get on the hot line. We have a shortage of volunteers for the late night and early morning shifts. I can only do those shifts if I get a good nap in during the day.

I am starting to work on taxes off and on. I need to go see my rental manager and get the information I need from him. I have a prescription I need to pick up sometime this week so when I go to town I will take care of both of those things. So far the grocery list is short so may be able to skip getting groceries this week.

I’m still working on making the scarf for the hat and scarf gift I am making. Tim asked for a prayer shawl for a friend of his mother’s so will need to go down and find some yarn to use to make that. I also have the new yarn I ordered to make another blanket. Lots of knitting projects lined up. That should keep me out of trouble for a day or two at least.

The highlight of the week happens tomorrow when we walk the trash down to the curb. One of the few things that still happens regularly to help me know what day of the week it is. I guess I now get to add delivering eggs on Monday to our weekly highlight list. What an exciting life we live out here on the prairie.

Jason let me know he had lost his sense of taste and smell late last week. His COVID test came back negative so he went back to work today. Two others in his household have had stomach issues and fatigue. I have a friend that lost her sense of taste and smell and tested negative twice too. Makes me scratch my head and wonder what is going on. I read somewhere that sometimes they have such a light case that the tests don’t pick it up. Trusting all will heal quickly and recover fully.

I keep looking for information on how to sign up to get a vaccine but so far haven’t found a link anywhere. If anyone hears of something, please let me know.

Feeling quiet today. I am still trying to process all that happened on a national scope last week and figuring out how best for me to react. It seems so complicated and and multi-layered. I can’t not speak out yet I haven’t figured out the best way to do so.

Grateful another room has been cleaned, grateful for knitting projects, and grateful for my egg customers.

I took a late nap yesterday so was wide awake at midnight. I got on the hot line as they were busy. Ended up staying on until 3:00. Handled 10 texters. Some were fairly easy, routine calls but a couple were the type that stuck with me when my shift was over. I had trouble sleeping afterwards as the calls kept replaying in my head. I also felt guilty getting off the hot line as there were 100 callers waiting to text and only 24 counselors on-line. I just couldn’t take any more callers though.

I didn’t get much sleep last night as a result. I laid down this afternoon for a nap but couldn’t fall asleep. Hoping I sleep well tonight. I’ve had a headache all day.

I knitted this morning as I listened to the church service from Jim’s church in Stillwater. The preacher had a great sermon. She reminded me I am not my politics – I am a child of God. Trust I can remember that in the coming challenging week.

The blanket I am going to mail tomorrow is almost finished. Only have 16 more rows and then I will be able to cast off. I will have to weave the remaining ends in and then it will be done. I will be able to mail it tomorrow. Yay! Seems like it has been on the needles for a long time. I like how it turned out though – I love the colors and trust the birthday girl will like them too.

I need to get back to doing some house cleaning before I cast on my next big project. Hoping that can happen tomorrow. I have been slacking on that project as I prefer to knit.

I am really missing my kids for some reason today. My heart has hurt all day from the ache from not seeing them for so long. Some days are easier than others and today has been a hard day. Part of it is because I am so sleep deprived and emotional. I’m sure after a good night’s sleep I will do better tomorrow. Have been in tears most of the day. One of those days!

We have another quiet week ahead of us. Jim wants to go to Stillwater one day and exchange cars so he can get the Honda titled in KS and bring another load up. I think he is planning on going down and coming back the same day. We will see what he decides to do. Nothing else is on our calendar for the week other than doing an egg delivery on Monday, taking trash to the curb on Tuesday and my hot line shifts on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. We lead such an exciting life on the prairie – ha!

I will give myself two more shots next Friday. The welts on my legs are almost healed from the last shots I gave myself three weeks ago. I wonder if I will react the same way every time. I am to take Benadryl this time 30 minutes before the injections. We will see if that helps lessen the reaction.

Feeling a bit ungrounded today due to sleep deprivation. I will be gentle with myself this evening and go to bed as soon as I think I will be able to sleep.

Grateful for Leah and her beautiful light and soul, grateful the blanket is almost done, and grateful for a quiet week ahead.

Another quiet day on the prairie. I did go to town to pick up some prescriptions for Jim and for myself. I dropped off a pan of Rice Krispie Treats at both Jason and Michelle’s house. I saw Jason and Ellexia for a hot minute.

Other than that I ‘m not sure what I have done today. I haven’t knitted yet today. I finished the 7th repeat yesterday and am getting ready to start the 8th repeat. I will get the blanket done and in the mail on Monday. The birthday girl celebrated today so it will be late. Better late than never – right?

The girls gave me 18 eggs this morning. I had three of them for breakfast. One was a double yolk egg – I have a girl that lays a double yolk egg most days. The girls have enjoyed being outside today and especially enjoyed the brief times the sun broke through the clouds. Oh wait -that was me that enjoyed seeing the sun!

For some reason today has felt like Friday to me instead of Saturday, It is so hard to know what day of the week it is when you do the same thing everyday. January is almost 1/3 done. Spring is getting closer everyday. I can’t wait! We are having a very mild winter this year. We sure could use some moisture.

Monday I deliver eggs to Cottonwood Falls. They are $3 a dozen or 2 dozen for $5. Let me know if you want me to drop some off for you.

I’m sitting here yawning so may need to take a short nap before I fix dinner. I did manage to go the whole day yesterday without a nap. Most days I take at least a short nap. It has become a habit now and my body reminds me to rest during the day.

Not sure what I am fixing for dinner. I have some hamburger thawing so will have to use it up somehow. We had hamburgers last night so don’t think I can get away with that again tonight.

Just woke up from a nap and then fixing and eating dinner. I couldn’t keep my eyes open earlier. I may stay up late tonight since I took a nap so late. More knitting time!

Still trying to make sense of this week and all that happened on a national level. I’m scared that we will see something worse over the next two weeks. There has to be a better way to find common ground than attacking buildings and people. I struggle to understand how this gap between the two sides became so big. I certainly am not smart enough to offer solutions on a local level, let alone on the national level. I keep examining my heart and attempting to see the ways I add to the division and work on fixing that. As much as I struggle to find those areas, I guess helps explain how hard it is to find solutions on the national level.

Grateful for lots of eggs in the refrigerator, grateful we are moving closer to Spring each day, and grateful for my healing prairie home.

Another quiet day on the prairie. Thankfully the sun came out for a bit this afternoon. The wind was even quiet today to make it a perfect winter day.

The yarn I needed to finish the blanket I am making came it today. That was much faster than I expected. I have been knitting a bit this afternoon. It is good to be back working on the blanket. I am only one or two days away from having it done. I will ship it to the birthday person when I get it done. It will arrive a few days late so trusting they will understand.

I ordered yarn for my next knitting project too. It will be fun to cast on another project when I get this one done. I do better when I have a big knitting project to work on.

I took four or five calls last night on the hot line. It wasn’t a very rewarding night for me. I had an interesting mix of callers and didn’t feel I was able to connect well to a couple of them. Some nights are like that. I may get on tonight and see if I can have better success.

Jim went to town today to run a few errands. He picked up a few groceries for me. It’s so nice to have someone run those errands for me. I didn’t feel like leaving the house today.

My Endocrinoligist recommended I take a Calcium and Vitamin D supplement. My medication list they manage was changed to reflect that and showed the medication was sent to a pharmacy to be filled. They sent it to the wrong pharmacy. When I asked about it, the nurse didn’t understand and sent a prescription I didn’t need to the right pharmacy. When I contacted her again she said they hadn’t sent a script for the new medication but couldn’t tell me why it showed they did. She told me to get it over the counter. I hate things like this. I’ll have to go to the pharmacy and pick up the new script for my Thyroid medication. They want me to alternate doses with a stronger one and a weaker one. Whatever…

We have no plans for the weekend. I will go to town sometime to get the weaker Thyroid medication but other than that will stay home.

Our church friends from Stillwater are all getting their vaccines this week. I wonder when KS will get their act together and start offering them? I haven’t seen any information about clinics coming up. I did fill out a form for Chase County but they said they had no idea when they might offer them.

How are you all managing people on your Facebook page that have completely opposite political views than yourself? I have unfollowed many of them without saying anything. I am starting to feel like I need to speak up and not just go away quietly. Am I adding to the negative energy by saying something or by staying quiet? I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that many are still finding excuses for what Trump did and are seeing him as a victim. I’m not sure what to say to them or how to treat them. Staying quiet feels icky but so does speaking out.

It certainly feels we are all being called to find our truth. How do I carry that truth out to my community and be a voice for good? On one hand it feels like the politics is just a mirror and not reality. I need to stay aware of the times when I get locked into my position and can’t see around it. Maybe that is why the issue on Facebook is trying to teach me.

If all feels so complicated and confusing at times. I push myself forward one step and then fall back two. Nothing about this seems easy and simple. Maybe I just need to set it down for a bit and pick it up another day.

Grateful for the sunshine today – my soul needed that, grateful the yarn arrived, and grateful to be on a learning curve about myself.

It has been a quiet day on the prairie today. After all the chaos of yesterday I needed a quiet day today. I haven’t turned the TV on today and am taking a bit of media break. I was overwhelmed with it all yesterday and needed to refill my soul today.

I got a heartbreaking text from my granddaughter asking me if she was ever going to be able to come spend a day with me again. That one hurt! I told her as soon as we could get our vaccine she could come over to spend the day. Sure wish I knew when that might happen. I haven’t seen any sign up lists yet to give me an idea of how soon it can happen. I so miss my grandchildren and spending time with them.

The sun peaked out from behind the clouds for a bit late afternoon. It has been a misty rainy type of day on the prairie today. Not sure we accumulated very much rain overnight but it was a bit muddy in the chicken coop this morning. I need to dust and take advantage of the dust being gone for a bit.

Did a bit of knitting while I was watching some videos. I like watching Heather Cox Richardson, she is a historian from MA and I trust what she says and how she says things. She is greatly worried about what Trump might do over the next 13 days and thinks he needs to be removed from office ASAP. After the stunt he pulled yesterday I wouldn’t put anything past him. He has little to be gained by behaving for two weeks – not that he is capable of that anyways.

I took four calls on the hot line last night. I have another shift tonight. We were busy but not slammed last night. We will see what tonight brings. I handled one suicidal caller that was able to find a moment of calm. I trust they lived to see the sunrise this morning.

The Endocrinologist doctor’s nurse called with the results of my bone scan. It wasn’t normal but it wasn’t bad. They want me to take a Calcium tablet twice a day. They also want to change the dosage of my Thyroid medication. The nurse called one script into the correct pharmacy but sent the other script to the wrong pharmacy. I sent her a note and asked her to fix it but haven’t heard back. Not sure why she managed to get one right and one wrong. When it gets fixed I will have to go to town to pick them up.

Nothing on my calendar until I go to Cottonwood Falls and Strong City on Monday to deliver eggs. Let me know if you want to be added to the delivery route. Jim wants to go to town tomorrow to get some pictures made for his Christmas letter and is going to stop and get a few groceries for me. He also needs stamps so he can do his mailing. I may go with him – we will see what tomorrow brings. We try to only go out alone so we reduce our chances of getting exposed.

Fixing chicken tenders for dinner. I haven’t decided how I am going to fix them yet but I will figure something out when I get in the kitchen to start dinner. I am running out of ideas as to what to fix for dinner.

Called the company that installed my solar panels today and asked them to do a diagnostic review as my electric bill for December was high. The panels produced more solar power this December than a year ago. He said to check all electrical devices in the house to see if something is running all the time. He was sure that it wasn’t a problem with the solar panels. Not sure where to start. He did say to unplug things and then check the electric meter to see if it is still spinning. If so, keep looking for things to unplug. The only thing I can think of that I didn’t have last year is the new watering container heater that I put in the chicken coop and the three heat lamps we use for the chickens and dogs and cats. Surely they wouldn’t use that much electricity would they? Things like this baffle me.

Got my grandson’s birthday present ordered. He let me know today what he wanted. When I asked him if he needed new socks, t-shirts, underwear or sweat pants he said, No, I’m good. Guess I’ll have to give him some cash to go along with his gift as he ordered something below his budget. Glad to have that taken care of.

Grateful for a day of peace and quiet on the prairie, grateful for experts who share their knowledge and expertise with others, and grateful to see the sun this afternoon.

I’m at a lost for words tonight as I process what I saw and heard on the news today. I’m so incredibly sad at the comments I am seeing on Facebook as the blame game begins. My heart is so heavy and broken tonight.

I wish there was a clear enemy I could focus my anger and hurt on. My higher self seems to be telling me that what happened is a reflection of collective energy that needed to be released. I have added to that collective energy when I didn’t hear what someone was trying to tell me, when I spoke ill of someone that I disagreed with, and in many other ways – small and big.

It has been a day of collective failure on many levels. Maybe we had to hit a new bottom before we wake up and start rebuilding something new. I need to spend some time going inward and finding those spots inside I don’t want to see and open myself up to admitting how I have added to this negative energy that is so palpable today. Not an easy task but one very much needed.

What keeps running through my head tonight is where do we go from here? How do we heal as a divided nation? How can we hear those “from the other side” in a new way – a way that they feel heard – a way that encourages dialog and understanding? I have a firm belief that we all hold more in common than our differences but remembering that is challenging.

Tending my chickens today felt different somehow. A simple, country task that brought a moment of joy to me. Feeding the dogs and cats felt grounding. Fixing dinner was something I have done hundreds of times before yet tonight felt different too. Falling back into my rituals of tending animals and fixing dinner felt reassuring and comforting somehow today. When the world chaos seems so huge, I retreat into the simple things of life. I took a long nap to practice some self-care.

I have a shift on the hot line tonight. I wonder how busy we will be after a day like this. I’m blessed to have a safe place to retreat to – I know many do not.

I will continue to sit with the question – where do I go from here. I welcome ideas and comments.

Grateful for my critters that provided a bright spot for me on this very dark day, grateful for a long nap to sooth my soul, and grateful that what is broken can be rebuilt.

Another quiet day on the prairie. I did have a short visit with an egg customer. It is so nice to visit with a dear friend – even if we can’t hug or get too close. I’ve sold $10 worth of eggs this week. Wow! At this rate I may break even in seven years – ha!

Took a short nap this afternoon. I had a bit of a headache and it went away after I laid down for a bit. My blood pressure was a touch low today and I felt a bit off. Feel better now. Think I am a bit dehydrated – will try to drink lots of water this afternoon and see if that helps.

Baked a batch of cookies this afternoon. I will put them in the freezer and take then to town to give to the kiddos next time I go to town. Jim taste tested them and gave them his approval. I was in the mood to bake something. I don’t eat cookies or cakes any more but love to bake them.

It is in the low 50’s on the prairie today. Another beautiful winter day. We are having a mild winter so far this year. Have had snow twice and not much of it either time. We sure could use some more moisture though.

Jim took a hike today while I took a nap. He is good about getting out and walking in the cold weather. I am a wuss and prefer to stay in when it is windy and a bit chilly.

We are having leftovers for dinner so don’t have to fix dinner tonight. I need to clean out the refrigerator to make room for more eggs. We only got 15 eggs today – the slackers.

I am setting up a regular delivery time of around noon on Monday to deliver eggs to Strong City and Cottonwood Falls customers. If you want to be added to my delivery route let me know. Eggs are $3 a dozen or $5 for two dozen. Regular weekly customers get first take of the eggs but you can have some as needed if I have them available. My phone number is 620-481-8323 and my email is kaykrause872@yahoo.co.uk

Still knitting on the scarf I am making to go with the hat. The yarn I need to finish the blanket still hasn’t shipped yet so that project is sidelined for a bit.

Found out today that Chase County Health Department is collecting names of Airbnb owners that are interested in getting the COVID vaccine. I put our names on their list. Not sure what it means as to when we might get the vaccine. It is the first list we have been put on though. KS sure seems to be moving a bit slowly to get the vaccine in arms. I haven’t seem anywhere else to sign up for a vaccine yet. We are privileged in that we can stay home and stay stay so am hoping the vaccines are going to those at higher risk right now. I can’t even consider opening the Airbnb though until we are both protected.

It will be interesting to watch what happens tonight in the Georgia senate races and tomorrow during the acceptance of the Electoral College election results. Jim has been tied up in knots listening to the news. He has a deeper understanding of all of it then I do. I will be glad when Biden is inaugurated and Trump is gone. Maybe the government can then get back to the business of doing what they have been elected to do and quit with the politics and games. I am loosing faith in them.

Grateful for short visits from friends, grateful for my egg customers, and grateful for leftovers that give me a break from cooking dinner.

A beautiful day in the lower 50’s on the prairie today. The snow is melting and it is a muddy mess in the chicken yard. The girls gave me 16 eggs this morning, counting a fairy egg. I had an egg customer come out to pick up eggs and she brought her two-year old grandson with her. He helped me gather eggs. Not sure he was impressed with the chickens but he enjoyed giving them some oats and watching them gather round and eat them.

Jim and I went to Emporia to do a feed haul. We got 200 pounds of chicken feed, 100 pounds of dog food, 100 pounds of oats and 50 pounds of sunflower seeds. The car held steady on the way home. We stopped at Walmart and picked up a few groceries and other stuff we needed. I spent my allowance for the week between the two stops.

I got a response from my doctor about the welts on my legs. He said that was a fairly common side effect but advised me to take Benadryl 30 minutes before the next injections as a precaution. If they get worse and I am to let him know and he will consider changing the type of medication.

Last night for dinner I made a Ham and Corn Chowder. It was delicious. We had left overs for lunch today. I printed the recipe and will make it again. It would be better if I had put it in a crock pot and let it cook for several hours. I did it the quick way on the stove top and it took about 35 minutes to make. I think if the flavors had a chance to simmer it would really be good. I added a bit too much crushed red pepper but it was still good. Tonight we are having pot roast – the house really smells good with it cooking in the crock pot all day.

Got a notification from the store I ordered my yarn from. There is a delay as they are getting slammed with yarn orders and shipping times have doubled. I was going to send the blanket I am making to someone for a birthday present but now it won’t get finished on time. May have to go to plan B for the birthday present or else send an IOU card.

Got the hat made last night and am making the matching scarf now. The scarf will knit up fast as it is a simple pattern and not too many stitches per row – just lots of rows. Maybe when I get it done I will get back to cleaning house. I would much rather knit than clean and my house is reflecting that right now. You could write your name on my coffee tables in the dust that is covering them. With the dust settled it is a good time to clean as it stands a chance of staying clean for a day or two.

I have found customers for 5 dozen eggs a week. I still am looking for a few more customers that are interested in a weekly delivery of eggs. I still have at least 5 more dozen a week to find homes for. They are $3 a dozen or two dozen for $5.

Settling into the rhythm of the New Year. There is a beautiful slowness to it as we tuck in at home and stay here most of the time. Nothing seems in a hurry and nothing urgent to be done. Lots of empty space and quiet surrounds me. It is a good time to go internal and discover new things about myself. The chaos of the world seems miles away from us right now.

Grateful the feed haul is completed for another month or so, grateful my doctor responded promptly to my message, and grateful for the slow rhythm of 2021.

17 eggs this morning from the girls. A new record. I haven’t been back down this afternoon to see if they added to it. The eggs are starting to over take my refrigerator. I need to clean it out and make more room for eggs.

I took another long afternoon nap today. Seems I sleep my best between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon. While I was sleeping Jim took a long walk. It is in the mid 40’s today and a good day to go for a long walk. He walks – I sleep. What a pair we make.

I had gotten about three inches done on the hat I am making and realized it is too big so had to rip it out. I haven’t started it over yet. I hate when I do that. I knew better.

Haven’t accomplished anything again today. I seem to be on a roll of do-nothing days. Good thing there is nothing that has to be done. I’m lucky to get dinner on the table at night these days. Tonight I am warming up some ham and will need to think of something to add to it. Tomorrow I am making pot roast.

We are going to Emporia tomorrow to get chicken feed, oats, sunflower seeds, and dog food. We will stop at the grocery store although my list is rather short. I need bananas.

There is a beautiful sunset tonight – it is the plain Jane type but the kind I like the best. Not a cloud in the sky and it will send a color band around the entire horizon. The stars were incredible last night before the fog moved in. The moon reflecting on the snow was beautiful too.

Jim just came up with 2 more eggs for the day – 19 total. Wow! Better get to cleaning out the refrigerator quick.

The long, dark days of winter are upon me. I am spending more time going internal instead of joining the world. The pandemic has helped make this possible this year. I really wonder how long it will take me to readjust to jointing the outside world when this is all over. I do my best when I spend lots of time alone.

I haven’t lost much weight lately. I have hit a plateau and seem to be staying there a long time. My pants are starting to get baggy though so I am losing inches, just not pounds right now. The scale doesn’t really mean much to me any more but it is a measure that I continue to use. It will be interesting to see where I bottom out at this time. Maybe I have hit my new bottom and this is where I will stay. That is OK if that happens. We will see what my body wants to do. I rarely get hungry these days so am eating enough to not let that happen. I feel like I am at a healthy weight now and like where I am at.

Grateful for 19 eggs today, grateful for these long, dark winter days and long afternoon naps, and grateful for the beauty that surrounds me today.

I’m glad the holidays are over. I trust next week I will be able to keep track of what day of the week it is. I have failed miserably doing so this week. Not sure what day of the week I think it feels like but I was surprised when I looked at the calendar and found out today was Saturday. I feel like I am living on an alternate universe right now.

It has been another quiet day on the prairie. I knitted some until I reached the point I can’t go any further until the new order of yarn comes in. I hate that I have to set it aside for a bit and wait for yarn. I have six repeats done and am so close to finishing it. I will get the hat and scarf I want to make started and will work on that until the yarn order arrives.

I took a nap again today. What a habit I am developing. I slept OK last night and was surprised when I felt like I needed a nap today. Nothing else to do so why not – right?

I have white chicken chili cooking in the crock pot. I just added the cream cheese and cream. It smells divine. Trusting I can eat it without suffering later as it has both dairy and beans in it. It will be a test for my stomach. Only way I will know if I can eat those things again is to try it.

Jim walked down to get the mail and kept on walking. It is nice out and he decided to walk down to Peyton Creek. He always feels better after he takes a hike. The sun is shining and the snow is slowly melting today. I bet the creek is beautiful with its blanket of snow and frozen water.

I didn’t get on the hot line last night. They weren’t busy when I checked and then when they got busy I was getting too tired to get on. I have to be on top of my game when I get on or else I feel I don’t do a good job. I’ll check again tonight since I took a nap. I checked this afternoon and they were in good shape. I don’t like to get on and take calls from those that have scheduled shifts. I only get on extra when they have texters waiting for a counselor. I only have a little over 20 hours to go to fulfill my commitment to them. I have taken 300 conversations since I started.

The girls gave me 14 eggs this morning and Jim brought another one up this afternoon. Eggs are starting to pile up on me again. The eggs are getting bigger although the Americanas are still not all laying. Not sure what I am going to do when I start getting two dozen eggs a day.

I sent a message to my doctor. I have a red welt where I injected myself with the new cholesterol medication two weeks ago. It has been there for over a week. Now the other thigh where I put the second injection is starting to welt up too. Not sure if it is just a coincidence that they are developing at the injection sites or a sign of a reaction of some sort. They itch and the first welt is bigger than a quarter and is a bit raw. I wanted to check with the doctor before I do the second round of shots in case I am having an allergic reaction and could potentially develop a problem with the second set of shots. We will see what he says Monday.

No plans for the next several weeks. January may be a long month of nothingness. Doesn’t sound like our social distancing will be relaxed very soon. It feels like when I was walking the Camino and I could see the village where I was going to spend the night in the distance but the longer I walked, the longer away it looked. The end zone is getting close yet it is still so far away. At least the end is in site unless a new development happens. A great lesson in patience and resiliency for myself.

If anyone knows of a non-profit that has something that needs done that I could do from home please let me know. I need a project to work on.

Grateful for the smell of dinner cooking, grateful for this beautiful winter day, and grateful for lots of empty space in my life right now.

Happy New Year’s Day to all. It is nice to start a new decade with a clean slate. A light blanket of snow fell overnight and the view on the prairie looked virgin white this morning. A beautiful way to start a new year.

It was brutal walking down to the girls today though as the wind was wicked. I made them stay inside today. I should have gone down early afternoon and let them out as the clouds rolled away and the wind died out. Hopefully tomorrow will be nice and they can get outside all day. They gave me 15 eggs when I went down this morning. Jim is doing chores this evening so I will see if he brings any more eggs up with him then.

We spent a quiet night at home. I worked the hot line for a couple of hours. Had one very hard call and asked the supervisor to take it over. I read the transcript this morning to see how it turned out and I’m not sure she did any better than I had been doing. One of those calls that I will always wonder what the rest of the story is. I handled three other calls that went OK. We do get an interesting mix of people that text in. You never know if you are going to get my mom is mean and she took away my phone or if they are suicidal or if they are mentally ill or something in between.

It has been another quiet day on the prairie. I took a nap this afternoon. I wasn’t feeling my best earlier and a nap helped. I felt like I had a hangover but I hadn’t drank anything last night. My headache is gone now and all is well.

Only did a little bit of knitting earlier. I’m sure I will knit more after dinner. I am almost out of one of the colors of yarn so will have to wait to finish the blanket until the yarn I ordered comes in. I will get started on making the hat and scarf someone asked me to make while I am waiting on the yarn to come in.

Got all the animals dosed with their flea and tic medication as well as heart guard for the dogs. That is always an adventure tracking them all down and making sure the dogs chew it up and eat theirs.

No plans for the weekend or into next week or that matter. I thinkJim is going to drive to Stillwater one day next week and return the same day or the next day. He needs to change cars so he can get the Honda tagged in KS and he wants to bring another big load of stuff. He is almost to the point of needing to rent a U-Haul and bringing a big load but he keeps putting it off. He can’t bring his big tools until he gets the renovations done in Stillwater but he can’t start building his shop here until he can bring his tools. He will get it all sorted out sooner or later.

We will have to make a trip to town sometime next week to get chicken feed. They are really eating lots of it right now. We are down to our last three buckets. I think the dogs will need another couple bags of food too. Kinda breaks the bank when I go buy critter feed.

I’ll probably get on the hot line again tonight for a bit. We were busy last night and will probably be so again tonight. I need to get a couple of good calls under my belt after having had the one last night I didn’t feel like I handled very well. Two different texters left sweet feedback for me last night. All texters are offered the chance to leave feedback but few ever do. It is a nice reward to see what they write and that in the moment it felt like you made a bit of a difference to them.

Grateful for the beautiful scenery of the day on the prairie, grateful for lots of quiet space today, and grateful the house was warm and dry today.

Another quiet day on the prairie. I did go to town and got my hair cut. It had been almost three months since I had it cut last and it was way overdue. Feels so good to have it trimmed up and back in shape.

I stopped at the grocery store downtown and picked up a few things and then came home. It is nice to get out but it is even nicer to get home.

I took a nap again this afternoon. I think I have developed a bad habit again. I didn’t sleep much last night and I have a Crisis Hot Line shift tonight and needed more sleep so I can stay up and do my shift. I took five calls last night – a couple of suicidal people, teenage problems, etc. Pretty normal night these days. I don’t know if we will be busy tonight or not with it being New Year’s Eve. Mental illness doesn’t take a day off so am guessing it will be busy as normal.

I got an email from my coach letting me know I have reached 175 volunteer hours. I had made a commitment to do 200 hours when I signed up. I should reach that in another four weeks or so. Then I can decide if I want to stay on or not. There are things I really like a bout volunteering and other things I wish they could fix and change. Guess most volunteer jobs are like that. I have the option of not scheduling shifts and just getting on when I feel like it after I reach my 200 hour target. That might help take some pressure off of me. I’ll see what I decide to do. They have been so busy lately I would feel guilty walking away at this point though.

I got 17 eggs from my girls today. I picked up 14 this morning and Jim picked up 3 more this afternoon. I took a dozen to my hair dresser as a Christmas present. I need to remember to put an ad online on the Facebook groups I am a member of and see if I can find some regular customers. I eat three eggs a day and they are starting to pile up on me.

I have five repeats done on the blanket I am making. I have at least two more to go and probably will do a third one. I like blankets to be long enough to totally cover me and I think I will want to add the last repeat. We will see when I get there. They have a tendency to stretch out a bit as the blanket gets longer and heavier. I ordered extra yarn so I will have enough to add the eighth repeat if I decide to when I get there.

Nothing on our calendar for next week except to take the trash to the curb on Tuesday afternoon. Neither one of us has any big plans or projects going on. January may turn into a long month at home. The news about the virus isn’t very promising right now and it sounds like our chances of getting a vaccine isn’t very close yet. Good thing we both like staying home and enjoy being with each other. Jim will probably go to Stillwater for a week sometime during January. He has a lot of work to do down there. He also needs to switch cars so he can bring his Honda up to KS again and get it tagged. It seems too complicated to get a house sitter right now so I will stay home and do chores.

We are to have a big winter storm blow in tonight. Guess it is a good thing we have no plans to go anywhere. We sure can use the moisture in what ever form we can get it. I would prefer rain over ice and snow but no one asked me what I prefer.

Feeling a bit empty with all the empty space ahead of me. I really do better with some projects to work on. Can’t seem to come up with one that captures my attention right now. It will be a good time for me to practice beings instead of doing. That seems to be one of my life lessons that I keep repeating and haven’t quite mastered yet.

Grateful for a hair cut today, grateful for all the eggs the girls are producing, and grateful for empty space that allows me to practice being.

Some days I’m not sure why I even bother writing this blog. Nothing much happens out here on the prairie and I don’t have much to say. It has been a very quiet day again. I’ve done some knitting but not much else. I have 4 1/2 repeats done on the blanket I am making. 3 1/2 to go. I placed a yarn order as I won’t have enough of one of the colors to do the full 8 repeats. I ordered enough yarn for another blanket.

The girls gave me 14 eggs this morning. One of them lays a big double-yolk egg everyday. Another of the Americanas are laying – I got a tiny green-shelled egg this morning. Each chicken lays eggs of a shape that is unique to her. This egg was a different shape than the other green-shelled eggs I have been getting. Two laying – 8 to go.

Jim went into Emporia to get some wood. He is putting wood support pieces on his metal bookcases in his camera collection room. He wants to build some shelving for the furnace room too. He likes things organized.

It is nice to see the sun this afternoon. We are to get another winter storm sometime tomorrow so this is a short break between storms. Hoping I can get to town tomorrow for my hair cut. I sure don’t want to have to cancel twice in a row. I have reached the point of desperation for a hair cut – if I can’t get to town tomorrow I may take scissors to it myself and that never ends well.

I have a Crisis Hot Line shift tonight. May need to take a short nap so I can stay up till midnight to finish my shift. I didn’t sleep well last night – I think I slept too hard and for too long yesterday afternoon.

I have chicken tenders with green salsa over them cooking in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I did OK with the chili last night but I did pick out most of the beans and not eat them. If I stay up I will throw in a baked potato for Jim and a sweet potato to bake for me. I’m getting tired of eating frozen carrots and peas. Need to mix things up a bit.

I see we are going to get another round of stimulus checks. Last time I spent the whole $1,200 on material to make face masks. I’m not sure anyone still needs any but I may order supplies again and make another big batch. It gives me something to do. Jim’s son’s partner seems to be able to find homes for them if no one here needs them. It took three months to get my check last time so have some time to think about what to do with it.

We don’t have any plans for New Year’s Eve. I have a hot line shift to work so will be spending most of the evening taking calls. We actually don’t have anything on the calendar for several weeks. Tuesday is the exception when we take the trash to the curb. Highlight of our life these days.

I have slipped back into acceptance of self-isolation. The holidays made me angry and I spent some time in resistance. Not that it did any good except drain me but I guess I needed to feel that for a bit. Today it feels good to be self-isolating. We will see how I feel tomorrow.

Funny how the same situation can feel differently day by day when in reality nothing has changed. My mind is a very complex thing and sometimes operates on its own logic. You would think that by now I would have figured it out but it still can trip me up.

Grateful for the empty space on the prairie today, grateful for the sunshine today, and grateful for acceptance of self-isolation.

Woke up to sleet and ice on the windows this morning. I cancelled my haircut as I hate to drive on slick roads. I will try again on Thursday.

Not sure what I did today – nothing much for sure. I did fix a crock pot of chili we had for dinner. I picked out the beans the best I could. Not sure it is going down well. We will see what happens. I have been avoiding spicy food and not sure it was wise to try some today.

I took a long nap again this afternoon. It was cloudy, foggy and wet outside and felt like a good day to curl up under a thick blanket with my heating pad. I fell asleep and slept hard for two hours. Made up for some lost sleep last night. Having a bit of trouble fully waking up but that is OK. I don’t have anything I have to do tonight so can just rest and maybe knit a bit. I haven’t even knitted one stitch yet today.

When I went down to take care of the chickens this morning I got to play wack a doodle with them. I didn’t want to let them outside today and they were hard to keep inside when I opened the door to gather eggs. I would get one pushed back and then another would pop up. They gave me 14 eggs today – a new record for this group. Still only getting one green shelled egg a day so still have some that haven’t started laying yet. I have not yet identified a rooster if I have one so could have up to 29 eggs in one day once they all get laying.

It has been a very quiet day on the prairie. The fog and clouds seemed to absorb whatever sounds were being made around the prairie. It felt a bit isolating to not be able to see much beyond the fence around the property. We have probably gotten about half of an inch of rain. Sure could use several inches. We are still to get more moisture over the next two days so we will see what it adds up to when it is done.

This was a good day to be quiet and go inward. There is a full moon shining above the clouds tonight. Hoping the energy will shift a bit and not be so heavy over the coming days. So much sadness and worry energy in the world right now. It felt good to have some rain today to help wash some of the heaviness away.

Grateful for long afternoon naps on cloudy, foggy, rainy days, grateful for chili on a cold day, and grateful for the shifting of energy that is occurring right now.

I wonder how long it will take before the days of the weeks feel like they are correct? For the life of me I can’t seem to keep them straight these days.

Jim and I went in to Emporia this afternoon and dropped off two dozen eggs at Jason’s house and then two more at Michelle’s house. One of the cartons we dropped off at Jason’s house had a fairy egg in it. They are fun to see and open as they are yolkless.

We stopped at the Vet’s office and picked up the flea and tic medication for the dogs and cats and came home. I didn’t have anything on my grocery list so we didn’t have to stop and get any groceries.

Dropped off two more dozen eggs at a friend’s house on the way home. It was good to see them for a hot minute. I told her we have joined the loony tunes bunch. Somedays it is easy to go with the flow and some days I am in strong resistance and sick of social distancing and staying away from friends and family. Today was a hard day for me – I so wanted to hug my granddaughter and my friend.

Came home and we both took a nap. Jim had worked last night to install a new software program and ran into problems. He gave up late night and had trouble sleeping knowing he was going to have to deal with it when he got up. Luckily when he got back to it this morning the error message had disappeared and the program worked. He downloaded all his photos to it and can now start playing with it. New things like that are hard for him.

The girls gave me a dozen eggs this morning. I haven’t been back down this afternoon to see if there were any late layers. The eggs are much cleaner since we cleaned out their coop.

We are to get a bit of a winter storm starting tonight and into tomorrow. I have a haircut scheduled for 10:30 in the morning. We will see if I am able to make it in. We need the moisture but I really dislike ice and slick roads.

I am heating up leftovers for Jim for dinner tonight. With all the eggs out of the refrigerator I now have room in there again and found some leftovers that need used up. I will grill myself a hamburger again. Tomorrow I will need to fix something fresh. If it is going to be cold and wet tomorrow I may fix chili or a soup of some kind in the crock pot.

I have three repeats done on the blanket I am making. I would like to do five more but may not have enough yarn. We will see how far I can go. Darn, I may have to place another yarn order. I need a minimum amount so I don’t have to pay shipping so will have to order my next project too. I really didn’t plan that but won’t cry if that happens.

I haven’t gotten much done today besides knitting. It feels like this is a pause time of some sort for me right now. Not sure what that even means yet but am honoring the feeling. I’m not pushing myself to do anything and slowing down a bit. There doesn’t seem to be any rush in getting anything done. We aren’t going anywhere and no one is coming over. There is a long winter ahead of me and no use rushing through it. Time to slow down and be.

Grateful the eggs have found homes, grateful for long afternoon naps, and grateful for knitting that keeps my hands busy and stills my mind.

Another quiet day on the prairie. Not sure I accomplished anything today other than taking a long nap this afternoon. Think I am feeling the after Christmas let down. Not motivated to do much and am having trouble waking up from my nap this afternoon. Declared today a rest day and gave myself grace to do nothing the rest of the day.

Knitted a bit on the blanket I am making. Have two repeats done and am started on the third set. Two down – six to go. One-quarter done! Good thing there is no deadline for when this blanket needs to be done. Small needle projects seem to take a long time to make. I am liking the color combination and it has a row where I use two colors at once every eight to ten rows so it keeps it interesting to make.

We had leftovers for dinner tonight so that was easy. Still have one more batch of leftovers to use up and may do those tomorrow night so I can clean out the refrigerator. Deciding what to fix for dinner remains the biggest question and challenge of the day.

I may run into town tomorrow to get the dog and cat tic medication as it is to snow on Tuesday and maybe Wednesday. That way I will have it done and on hand for the first when it is due and not have to worry about driving on icy roads. I do need to call and see if I can get a haircut this week. I have reached the point of no tolerance on my hair. Maybe he can work me in tomorrow afternoon and I can take care of both errands in one trip.

We got the Christmas tree taken down and put away. Jim still needs to pick up the three nativity sets he set out and then Christmas 2020 will be history in this house. We need to hang some new framed pictures and get them up off the floor in the entry way. It feels like the house has been cluttered for a bit and I am ready for it to go back to its uncluttered status. Clutter makes my head hurt sometimes.

We don’t have plans for New Year’s Eve other than I have a shift on the crisis hot line that night. I have never been one to celebrate New Year’s Eve with lots of people and Jim doesn’t either. We both prefer quiet nights at home with each other.

When I look back at 2020 it is one for the record books in many ways. Trusting 2021 will bring a relief to the shelter in place but who knows how soon that may happen. Not making any plans for travel in 2021 yet. I still can’t believe it has been over nine months since we started self isolating and I don’t really see an end in sight yet. It may take months before we get vaccinated and achieve a more comfortable level of getting out and among people. My first goal is to be able to have the grandkids come out for the day. I have missed so much of their lives this year.

I didn’t get any more done on Project Get This House Clean today. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up with some energy and motivation to clean. Just not in me today.

My heart is heavy with worry about the millions of people that have lost their unemployment due to the President’s temper tantrum. Evictions can begin again January 1 unless something happens between now and then. The lack of empathy for our fellow humans is distressing and hard to see. Poverty and food insecurity is a hidden issue right now and is about to get much worse. I can’t wait until Biden gets in office and can start to work to change things. Change will come too late for too many though.

Grateful for grace, grateful for quiet days on the prairie, and grateful for a beautiful space to enjoy empty space.

Christmas 2020 is a wrap. We had our family Christmas via Zoom this afternoon. With 14 people on a Zoom call and most of us not used to it, it felt a bit chaotic. It got the job done though. Gifts were opened and gratitude and love was expressed. It was good to see everyone, if only through the screen.

Not sure what I did the rest of the day. I was up from 4:00 – 7:00 this morning and then went back to bed and was able to get two more hours of sleep. I did a couple loads of laundry and did some knitting.

We did manage to give the girls fresh linens this afternoon. It was 61 degrees and not too windy so it was a good day to get outside and get that job done. With 29 chickens spending lots of time inside the coop gets dirty quickly. It sure smelled better tonight when we went down to lock them up. I got 11 eggs today, including one fairy egg and one green shell egg. When I go to town next week I need to drop some eggs off at Tim’s and Jason’s. I’m getting close to or over a dozen eggs a day right now and they are piling up.

No plans for tomorrow. I will do more knitting, take the tree down and do some cleaning. Normal stuff around here. Jim has several things of leftovers he needs to eat up so will probably not even have to cook tomorrow night. I’ll thaw some hamburger for me and he will get let overs. What a deal!

Monday or Tuesday I will need to go to town and get the tic medication. I don’t have anything on my grocery list yet but maybe by then I will.

Feeling a bit down tonight – the normal let down after Christmas. It is so hard to not be able to hug my kids and gather them around my table. I know we did the right thing by not gathering, yet there is an emptiness inside as a result. Trusting by next year we will be able to safely gather.

Grateful for the modern technology that allowed us to “gather” this year, grateful the girls have fresh linens, and grateful for the empty space in my life right now.

Merry Christmas to all. May the spirit of Christmas be with you on this day and on the days to come. May we all find love, compassion and goodwill towards each other in the days to come.

We have spent a quiet day at home. We opened our gifts to each other late morning. It’s funny as we each got the other two things alike. We will both stay warm as I got several sweaters and Jim got some more new flannel shirts. We got each other a desk lamp and an Ansel Adams framed print. It was a nice, quiet calm morning.

I made Jim a Sour Cream Lemon Cake and some peanut brittle after I had lunch. I’m pleased to say the peanut brittle turned out perfect. He will taste the cake after dinner tonight. The recipe is one that he makes for his sons most years for Christmas. I hope it turned out good.

We Zoomed with his two sons and their partners for almost two hours in the middle of the afternoon. We all got very nice gifts and had a nice time sharing the experience of opening them with each other. Certainly not the same as being together in person but it worked. It’s nice to see his two sons settled and happy with their partners.

I have a ham cooking in the oven for dinner tonight. Jim wants Tator Tots with it – I will have some carrots. It is hard to fix a fancy meal for just two people.

I was on the hotline twice yesterday. The first time I got fairly easy calls from people stressed over not being with their loved ones for Christmas. The late shift I got three suicidal people in a row. I was able to talk them down to a calmer place and am guessing they all lived to see Christmas morning. One never knows though what the rest of the story is. I will check to night to see if they need more counselors and if so will take a few more calls.

Tomorrow we are Zooming with my family late afternoon. Once that is done Christmas 2020 will be a wrap and I can take down the Christmas tree and put things back in order. Not sure I ever caught the Christmas spirit this year but that is OK. We will remember this year as the year that wasn’t what we are familiar with. Here’s to hoping next year will be back to being able to gather with our loved ones in person.

We don’t have anything on our calendar for next week although I do have to go to town to get flea and tic medication for my two dogs and two cats. If we need any groceries I will pick those up then too.

The blanket I am knitting is coming along. I have the first repeat done and am working on the second one. I think the pattern calls for seven repeats all together. I’ll see how the yarn holds out – maybe I can do eight if I have enough yarn. I haven’t started the hat and scarf I want to make yet so will have lots of knitting to do next week. I also want to get back to Project Clean Up This House. I took today and am taking tomorrow off from that project.

Bell and Ellie, my cats turned five today. Sophia will be four next week. Jim has a special treat for all four cats planned for tonight to celebrate their birthday and Christmas.

The chickens gave me 13 eggs today. I have four dozen extra eggs if anyone needs eggs. Most are still small but some are regular sized. I had two double yolk eggs for breakfast this morning.

It has been a lovely, quiet day on the prairie. It certainly has felt more calm than Christmas normally does when we gather with a crowd. Maybe I will decide not to go back to normal and keep it like this.

Grateful for the peace and calm on the prairie today, grateful I finally was able to make a good batch of peanut brittle, and grateful for my cats Bell and Ellie and wish them a happy birthday.

Christmas Eve 2020. Christmas has a different feel to it this year. We will miss greatly not attending church service at 11:00 tonight. What a different world we live in this year compared to last year.

It was a year ago today that Jim asked me to marry him. We had just finished dinner and were sitting around the table enjoying the evening together when he popped the question. I don’t think either of us could have predicted how our first year together would play out.

I went into Emporia this morning and went to the lab for my blood draw to check my thyroid levels. The lab wasn’t too busy and they got me back fairly quickly. I checked in at the X-Ray department early for my bone density test. They weren’t busy and took me back as soon as I checked in. I was done by 11:15. That was easy.

I went to the bank and deposited a check and dropped some mail off at a mail drop. Then I went to Walmart for some groceries and a few other things I needed. The parking lot was full although I got lucky and a car pulled out fairly close up and I grabbed the spot. The store was busier than I had seen it for a long time. I did my best to avoid people but somethings that was hard. Evidently a truck has just been unloaded as there were pallets of stuff the clerks were putting out everywhere. Lots of empty shelves today.

I got almost everything I wanted although they were out of several things. I wanted some corn syrup so I can make Jim some peanut brittle. I backed up and looked on the very top shelf and there were two bottles at the very back of the shelf. I tried climbing up the shelves but couldn’t reach it. A couple came by and the lady, who is at least a head shorter than I am, said she could get it. She climbed like a monkey up the shelves and grabbed it. She said short people learn how to cope. I told her she was my Christmas miracle.

The blood test restyles came back already. My thyroid level is 0.74 which is better than the 0.51 it was in November. I think I will go to skipping a pill every four days instead of the five I am doing now. Thinking next time I need a refill the doctor will reduce the dosage so I don’t have to have skip days.

Came home and put everything away and then ate some lunch and took a nap. I had taken a nap after dinner yesterday so I could be awake for my crisis hot line shift and then had trouble sleeping last night.

I handled eight callers last night. Four of them were suicidal. I was able to talk all of them down for the moment. People are sure stressed out right now and so many feel worthless and helpless. It is a hard time of the year for so many.

I have another shift tonight. I’m curious to see what Christmas Eve is like on the hot line. I’m expecting that we will be busy but maybe not.

Tomorrow we are zooming with Jim’s sons in the early afternoon. I got a ham to fix for dinner tomorrow night. Saturday late afternoon we are zooming with my kids and Craig. Sunday I can take the tree down and call Christmas 2020 a wrap and done.

Jim’s church is having a Facebook Live Christmas Eve service at 11:00 tonight. We may watch it if I get done with my hot line shift and the hot line isn’t too busy. I think it is harder for Jim to watch services though. This will be the first year in his life time that he doesn’t attend a Christmas Eve Service in person. He especially will miss singing in the choir and being with his choir family. Usually his sons would join him in the choir loft each year. Such good memories to hold on to this year when everything is so very different and gathering is not possible.

I’m fixing chicken pot pie for Jim for dinner. I am going to leave out some chicken and veggies and have that. The pot pie has things in it that I shouldn’t eat and I don’t want to have an upset stomach tonight and tomorrow.

The girls survived the cold night last night. They were eager to get out in the sunshine this morning even though it was still very cold out when I let them out. They gave me 10 eggs so far today. The eggs are getting bigger every day. I’m still only getting one green egg a day but the others should start laying very soon.

Still haven’t found my Christmas spirit but am doing OK. I’ll be glad when Sunday comes and the tree goes away. Looking forward to a New Year coming in next week.

I have the first of eight repeats done on the blanket I am making. I like the colors and am enjoying having a big project to work on. I may stop at some point and work on the hat and scarf just to make the project last longer. We will see what I decide to do.

Grateful for this first full year living with Jim, grateful for a helper in the grocery store today, and grateful for the many blessings that Christmas brings.

Oh my goodness the wind is in a hurry today. Hope it gets to where it wants to go. We have had gusts over 60 MPH today. The walk down to see the girls this morning was brutal. I had trouble holding on to the egg basket on the way back up to the house.

We put the cover on the BBQ grill today and five minutes later it went sailing over the yard. Luckily Jim was able to capture it before it made it into Morris County.

I got 10 eggs from my girls today and need to go down again this afternoon to see if there were any late layers. The eggs are starting to pile up. Holler if you need some. I gave one dozen away today to my postman along with a card and some cash. They sure work hard this time of the year to get us our packages and letters.

Radar is showing a chance for some snow yet this afternoon. The system that is bringing it is falling apart so am not sure we will get any. It would be nice to have a white Christmas – especially since we aren’t traveling and no one is coming here.

Jim is in Cottonwood Falls getting his Mazda titled with KS tags. Hope he has better luck today than he did last week with his Honda. Sure seems complicated moving to a new state. He is gradually getting these little things taken care of.

My yarn order came in today so I now have a big project to work on. I am going to be making a hat, scarf and a blanket. That should keep me out of trouble for several weeks.

I got the master bathroom detailed cleaned today. I’m embarrassed at how much dirt I found. It seems like I just cleaned it but evidently my memory is failing me. Feels good to have another room done and off my to-d0 list. May get the master bedroom done today yet and I may not. We will see have inviting the knitting projects are.

I have some hamburger thawing for dinner tonight. I think I am going to make Gravy Train for Jim and cook me a plain hamburger. Right now I can’t think of anything else to fix. When I get groceries tomorrow I need to decide what to fix for Christmas dinner. It should be a bit special but haven’t figured out what that might be yet.

Jim brought some pictures that need hung in the house some where. Thinking I need to do some redecorating and find good places for them. Some of what I have up I no longer feel attached to. He has lots more pictures to bring so not sure if we should wait until more of his stuff gets here and then decide where to hang things at or if we start rearranging a bit now.

It is interesting merging his houseful of stuff with my stuff. We share some similar tastes but he likes more stuff than I do. I like to pick a sample of what I like and go with a minimal look and that is hard for him to do. We will see how we compromise and find a look that works for both of us.

I’m looking at the sun through the clouds and it looks more like a full moon than the sun right now. The clouds are racing in front of the sun and moving on out. The rays of the sun are reflecting through the clouds down by the horizon making beautiful streaks of light in the sky. If the sound of the wind wasn’t driving me to drink I would enjoy it even more.

Still haven’t found the Christmas spirit but that is OK. Two more days and it will be done with. Actually make that three days as my family is zooming on Saturday late afternoon. Then I can take the tree down on Sunday and Christmas 2020 will be done. Jim brought some of his Christmas decorations with him earlier this week but hasn’t set them out yet. Maybe next year we will put them out.

I have to go to town tomorrow for my blood draw and bone density test. I haven’t been out of the house for over a week so it will be good to get out. My grocery list keeps growing. I want to get some peanuts and try making peanut brittle. Jim told me he likes it. I have my mother’s recipe but usually don’t have good luck with it. I’m willing to try it again though.

I had to quit watching the news last night. I get so overwhelmed with what is going on right now. I wish the politicians would catch the Christmas spirit and remember those that are not as safe and comfortable as they are.

Grateful for my mailman and the way she takes good care of us, grateful for another room detailed cleaned, and grateful for the beauty in the sky this afternoon on this windy day on the prairie.

Jim and I stepped out and watch Jupiter and Saturn merge last night. It was a wonderful sight in the sky. Looking forward to watching it again tonight if the clouds clear.

It has been a windy day on the prairie today. It warmed up to the mid 60’s which is amazing for the middle of December. My peach tree is budding out – silly thing.

I got 13 eggs today – a new record for these girls. Got another huge egg. The one I had gotten yesterday had a double yolk – I had it for breakfast this morning. Got another green shelled egg today. They always make me smile.

I took a nap this afternoon. Didn’t sleep well again last night. Kinda getting used to that. I will probably get on the hot line tonight since I took a nap today. The week before Christmas can be lonely and stressful and the hot line has been busy lately.

I haven’t done much today. I have some cleaning I really need to do but it hasn’t captured my attention yet today. It is so windy and dusty today that cleaning up dust seems like an exercise in vain. We need rain badly to quiet the dust and to fill the cracks in the yard.

Jim took the trash to the curb today so it must be Tuesday. Some weeks that is the only thing on my calendar. Hope the lid doesn’t blow into Morris County tonight.

I am fixing Jim scalloped potatoes with ham for dinner. I am having a piece of salmon with a baked sweet potato. White potatoes and I are not good friends these days. They tend to bloat me and give me stomach cramps. Ever since I had C-Diff I have had to pay close attention to how my stomach reacts to certain foods. I still can’t do anything raw, eat grains, dairy or beans in addition to the white potatoes. Maybe someday my stomach will heal and I can consume them again. We will see.

Nothing planned for tomorrow. Thursday I have to go to town for a bone density test as well as a blood draw. I have a grocery list so will stop and get our groceries for the week while I am in town. The list isn’t very long this week so it won’t take me long. Hope the store isn’t over run with last minute Christmas shoppers.

Jim is taking his Mazda in to get tags tomorrow. Hopefully he has what he needs this time and can accomplish this task. The Honda never did get tagged. He will have to switch cars again next time he goes to Stillwater and try again with the Honda.

I checked and a gift that I had ordered that they were to ship got delivered today. Grateful it made it on time and arrived safely. That was the last of my Christmas shipping that needed to arrive in time for Christmas. My gifts for Jim are wrapped so I am officially ready for Christmas. Now to find some Christmas spirit. It seems to be in short supply for me this year.

The yarn I ordered to make a small needle blanket is to be here either tomorrow or Thursday. I need a project and it will be good to have something new to work on.

Grateful for all the eggs I am getting now, grateful for lots of empty space right now, and grateful it is almost time for dinner – I am hungry tonight!

Jim came home last night – well more accurately early this morning. It was good to have him back home. We didn’t get to bed until after 5:00 this morning. I am feeling the lack of sleep this afternoon. May go lay down for a bit when I finish writing.

I went down to do chicken chores this morning and to my delight found the first green egg. Soon all 29 chickens will be laying and we will be over run with eggs. Pay day is almost here!! I got 11 eggs today after getting 12 yesterday. Anyone need eggs?

Not sure I have gotten anything done today. I helped Jim unload his car. He brought another full car full of his treasures. We will have great difficulty someday if we ever decide to downsize. Guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

We walked down to get the mail but it hasn’t arrived yet today. I’m sure the postman has lots of extra packages to have to deal with which is putting her behind schedule. It is so nice out today it won’t be a problem to walk down again later when she gets here.

Today is Winter Solstice – a turning point for me. Daylight will start to return minute by minute. It feels like I have reached the bottom of the hole I fell into earlier and can now start to climb out.

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow or Wednesday. I want to get some more cleaning done and give some thought as to what to fix for dinner Christmas Day. I have to go to town for a bone density test and a blood draw on Thursday and can pick up things if I need them.

I do need to call a place tomorrow and check on a Christmas present that I ordered and they were to have shipped. I haven’t heard back from them other than receiving an order confirmation. I’m not sure if they send me a notification when they ship or not.

Baked Jim a batch of Snickerdoodle cookies tonight. He was out and we can’t have that emergency. I love baking cookies – just don’t like to eat them.

Grateful Jim is home on the prairie, grateful for Winter Solstice, and grateful for a green egg today.

It has been a quiet day on the prairie today. I haven’t spoken a word all day. At least today has been easier for me than yesterday. I have felt better and have gotten a few things done.

I got the kitchen detailed clean. I stopped to eat a bite and write and then I will do the dining room. I even took the grill cover off the refrigerator and washed it out. I like taking care of the little details that are easy to overlook and then they don’t get done for a long time.

I went to bed early last night and got a bit of sleep although I was awake off and on all night. I am so looking forward to Solstice and the return of the light. In another couple of weeks I will be back to feeling like myself on all levels. This darkness is hard for me each year.

This year I did some good internal work though. I saw some of my insecurities rise to the surface to be tended to. You can only heal what you know you have. I get angry at myself for having them though and I have to work through that before I can release them and heal. Maybe someday I will figure out a way to do so without having to ride the emotional roller coaster.

I spent some time yesterday reviewing my finances. Every year I look at where I was at the start of the year and where I am at the end of the year. I spent way more this year than I had planned on but when I researched it I can’t find many ways that I feel I wasted my money. Buying a new car put a big dent in my allowance for the year as did spending four weeks in Estes Park. If I back those two things out the rest is within budget. I always set a goal of how much I anticipate spending for the coming year. They are just numbers and I’m still not sure what they mean other than a starting point. Life happens and sometimes I go over and sometimes I go under budget. Just a way to provide a checks and balance for myself.

I still have a relationship with money that at times is not healthy. There was a point in my life that I had nothing extra – like food was extra. That is why I started working at McDonald’s way back when. I got a free lunch each shift and figured I could live on one meal a day. I still am very cautious when it comes to spending money on myself, particularly. One of these days I will feel in control of my finances but I keep circling that wagon and struggle to stay there when I get there.

Jim will be home tomorrow night. I still have more cleaning I want to get done before he gets home. I’m not sure he understands my need to detail clean but there are things he does that I don’t understand. Guess that happens in every relationship.

My girls gave me 12 eggs today! That is a new record for this bunch. The Rhode Island Reds and the Amber Star pullets are laying. The Americanas should start laying in another week or so. When they all get to laying I will get two dozen a day if not more some days. Anyone want to get on my list to buy eggs? Let me know and I will let you know when I have extras. I’m still getting double yolk eggs – I had one this morning for breakfast.

Grateful for 12 eggs from my girls today, grateful the kitchen is clean, and grateful for a very quiet day on the prairie.

Four years ago today my son-in-love died. I will never forget the call I got from Nicole that evening telling me. We had held our family Christmas the day before and Chris looked great. 24 hours later he died. After releasing some long held grief today I was able to smile at some of the beautiful memories I have of him. He may be gone but he is still loved and remembered.

His death has taught me so much. I vowed to never take anything for granted again. Nothing is permanent in this life. One must always live in the moment and be grateful for what one has as it may be gone tomorrow.

I have held Chris, Nicole, Michael and Cecil in my heart today. It is a bittersweet day for them. Grief is a never ending process that reminds us how much we loved.

I haven’t gotten any cleaning done today. Just wasn’t in the mood to do so today. I may get some done this evening or it will wait patiently for me to get to it tomorrow or the next day. Some things are more important than cleaning.

When I went down to do chicken chores this morning the light bulb in the heat lamp had fallen out of the heat lamp. The lamp has a shield on it so the bulb didn’t break. I tried fixing it and finally realized the socket had broken it’s weld. I went into the hardware store in Strong City and got a new one along with some extra bulbs. Came home and got it back up and running.

The Amber Star chickens are the friendliest chickens I have ever had. They stay right under my feet when I am in the pen. They like to squat and be petted. They were doing their best to help me change the light bulb.

This has been a rough day for me. I didn’t sleep well again last night and when I tried to take a nap this afternoon I couldn’t sleep then either. Solstice is coming Monday and the last of my shadow work is happening. I will gradually pull out of this dark journey I am on right now. It takes lots of patience and determination to do so though. Some things about myself are hard to face and accept. I will get there sooner or later.

Funny how I can go from having a very productive, peaceful day to having a day that sucks. Guess that is how life goes though. During this time of the year my emotions are all over the board and many times feel out of control. I had a teacher tell me one time that you can only go as high as you are willing to go low. I may be flying when this low period is over.

I have been giving some though as to what I want to set as my intentions for 2021. I have a few ideas but haven’t committed to them yet. Now is a good time to set intentions and plant them in the dark of the Winter Solstice. I have been clearing out old behaviors and thoughts to make room for something new to grow. I’m looking forward to Spring Equinox and the return of more light beginning next week.

Grateful for this journey I am on, even when I have dark days, grateful for the life and love of Chris Gustafson, and grateful for my memories of days gone by.

It has been a quiet day on the prairie. I spoke briefly to Jim and then to Jason on the phone today but other than that have spent the day in silence. It was very windy today with gusts up to 40 MPH. I almost had to put rocks in my pockets when I took the girls some water this afternoon.

I have been working on deep cleaning my kitchen – washing the cabinet fronts, washing all the woodwork, filled all the pump bottles of hand soap, dish soap, etc. Am not done yet but getting close. Feels good to get the kitchen really clean. Tomorrow I will do the dining room.

I was expecting the shipment of my new injectable cholesterol medication today. When I went out to do chicken chores I walked around the house to see where it might have gotten put. I couldn’t find it. I drove down to get the mail and decided to check my neighbor’s house and sure enough the package was on their front porch.

The medication came in a big box in a styrofoam cooler with ice packs. The ice packs hadn’t melted completely yet. They also sent a sharpie container to put the used injection things in.

I let the two injection things sit out for 40 minutes and then injected my first two shots. I had a bit of trouble getting them to click and start injecting but played around and finally figured out what I was doing wrong. I could feel a slight pinch when they entered the skin but it didn’t hurt. The medication went in very quickly and it clicked and I was done. That was easy. I will give myself two shots every four weeks.

I was going to put them in my stomach but when I had trouble getting them to start I switched to my thighs. I have to press the thingy pretty hard into my skin to make it start. I’ll see if my legs get sore or not.

The prescription receipt said the retail price is $1,495 for six shots or a three month supply. Yikes! I got it for nothing as insurance covered all but $141 and then the pharmacy had some sort of foundation they work with that covered the rest of it. I change prescription insurance companies in January so am hoping the new insurance will cover it as well. I didn’t know about this when I changed my insurance companies. It took a month from the time the doctor prescribed it before I was able to get through the red tape to get the medication. I’ll have to start the process for the next three months supply a month before I need them.

I took five calls on the hot line last night. They were all a bit challenging but thankfully not imminent suicidal calls, although several were having those thoughts. There are so many hurting people out there right now. The isolation of COVID is really starting to hit people, especially with the holidays coming up. I talked to a new mother that is overwhelmed with all a new baby brings and the isolation is really hard for her. No one can come give her a minute’s break except for her husband who needs to man up and help her out more. It was another one of those calls where you want to go to the person and give them a hug and a break for a bit.

I have a piece of salmon thawed to cook for dinner tonight. Not sure what I will fix tomorrow night. I can only eat salmon once a week or so. Not one of my favorites but it is quick and easy to fix.

I took another long nap this afternoon. I hadn’t slept very well last night again. I kept waking up and had trouble getting back to sleep. I turned the hot pad on this afternoon and got nice and warm and fell asleep quickly and slept really good for about an hour. Woke up feeling rested.

I may get on the hot line again tonight since I took a nap. They have been so busy and can usually use another counselor to help handle the volume of calls they are getting, especially at night.

Nothing planned for the rest of the weekend except more cleaning. I am finding lots of dirt so it is good that I have this time to dig deep and get things cleaned up. It is a great feeling to have a completely cleaned house. Maybe I can keep it up this time and not let it get away from me again.

Jim will be home Monday unless he decides to stay a few more days to get more done. He has so much work to do there that he may decide to do that. There isn’t much going on here so it is a good time for him to be there to get something done.

We don’t have big Christmas plans. We will Zoom with his sons on Christmas Day and with my kids on the day after Christmas. Sure hoping next year it will be safe to gather again.

Spending a day in silence has been good for me. I have been able to work at my pace and take my time cleaning. I forget how valuable silence is for me and how it fills me. I have had soft Christmas music playing in the background and I feel very peaceful this evening.

Grateful Project Get This House Clean is happening, grateful the medication came in and I was able to successfully inject myself twice, and grateful for the silence that filled the house today with grace and peace.

Jim is in Stillwater until Monday. The house feels big and empty tonight with him gone. It will be a very quiet weekend on the prairie for me.

I took recycling to Cottonwood Falls this afternoon. I timed it perfectly as the trailer I dump the stuff in had just returned from being emptied so it was easy to dump things in to. I dropped a sack of books off at the little free library box in Strong City. There was room in the box to put the whole sack of books in it. I was glad to get rid of the sack of books that had been sitting around for a bit.

Then I went into Emporia and dropped off Peanut Butter Balls at Jason’s house and then at Michelle’s house. Jason got a dozen eggs too. I thought Cody might enjoy eating eggs from the chickens he loves to visit. I got to visit with Michelle for a hot minute. It was good to see her. It is so hard to live so close but not get to see my kids. I saw both Tagen and Ellexia for a second. Tagen was still doing school on-line. He looked like he was feeling better.

Came home from town and took a long afternoon’s nap. I didn’t sleep very much last night and was tired.

Took four calls on the hot line last night. Two of them were heart breakers. One I felt like I was able to help a bit and offer some hope to the texter, but the other one was in a situation where they didn’t have a lot of options. I did what I could to make them feel better about themselves but not sure I was able to offer much in the way of a solution out of their issues. Sometimes you want to be able to give them your number and have them come live with you. I have another shift tonight.

Project Clean This House didn’t get very far yesterday or today. I have big plans for the weekend with Jim gone though. I got a bit done today but not enough. Sleep was more important this afternoon.

I forgot to lay some meat out for dinner so had breakfast for dinner. It works in a pinch. I’ll remember to lay something out for me for tomorrow. Since I knew Jim was leaving I didn’t think to lay something out to feed myself.

I need to bake Jim some cookies this weekend. I sent the last bag of Snickerdoodles that were in the freezer to OK with him. When I need to take a break from cleaning I will bake his cookies. I love baking – just don’t eat the stuff I bake. The grandkids are set for a bit with all the Christmas goodies I gave them plus the extra peanut butter balls they got today.

Still hard for me to believe that Christmas is a week from tomorrow. I haven’t found the Christmas spirit yet. Not at all unusual for me – some years I never find it and sometimes I catch a bit of it. Too bad we all can’t celebrate and party hardy for the New Year’s this year. 2020 has been one for the record books in many ways and it will be good to see a New Year start. Trusting 2021 will be a bit less chaotic on many levels for all.

It won’t be long before I will start having extra eggs to sell. I am getting 6 – 8 eggs a day right now. They are mainly small eggs though – it takes 4 eggs to make 3 when I bake. The Rhode Island Reds are starting to lay and the Americanas shouldn’t be too far away from laying now. The eggs will gradually get to large size over the next three to four weeks. Let me know if you are interested in getting eggs and I’ll let you know when I have extras. I’m still getting double yolk eggs occasionally.

Trying to think of something fun I could do by myself this weekend. I don’t want to spend the entire weekend cleaning although I have enough cleaning to do that I could do that. I have my shopping done so no need to go to a store. I’m having trouble thinking of things to do when I choose to stay home and not go out much in public. Wish my yarn would get here so I could get the blanket started. Shipping is taking extra long right now.

It’s almost time to start gathering information so I can have the accountant do our taxes. I’m anxious to see what the impact of getting married will have on my taxes this year. It was an unusual year as I didn’t do any Airbnb business but got unemployment instead. Wonder if I will be able to get my Airbnb back up and running in 2021? Not looking like it so far but maybe with the vaccine I will get to the point where it feels OK to open again. I may decide not to go there again. Some doors aren’t meant to be opened again after they close.

Having strangers come stay in my house feels icky to me right now. I have made so many dear friends from having the Airbnb and know my life has been enriched because of them, yet opening back up feels icky. I won’t reopen unless I can embrace it as I did before. Not sure that is going to happen. I have gotten used to my privacy now and I don’t want to disturb it. Sharing the house with Jim makes the house feel different too. He has taken over part of the basement for his camera collection and it feels good that the basement is finally getting used.

Grateful for a long afternoon nap, grateful Jim had a safe trip to Stillwater, and grateful for breakfast for dinner.