Starry night on the prairie

As I wrote the date I remembered it is Christmas Eve. Since we had our family Christmas Saturday it felt like Christmas had come and gone. I am so messed up on what day of the week it is and its relationship to Christmas Day.

Jason and his girlfriend are coming over tomorrow to watch the game and to have chili with me. I so appreciate that. Maybe I will find some last minute Christmas spirit.

I didn’t get much done today. I watch a new movie on Netflix called the Six Triple Eight. Hard to watch but so well done. We still have a long way to go to combat racism in America. It hurt my heart to watch.

I did a bit of work cleaning out my kitchen but didn’t find too much. I still need to do the pantry and reduce it big time. It is so cluttered it is hard to find anything. I have a bunch of stuff I need to carry to the shed and didn’t have the energy to do that today.

Tomorrow I am going to make a crock pot of chili and some cinnamon rolls. It’s a Kansas thing to put those two things together. I don’t have a lot of Christmas treats left over for Jason so will make him something fresh.

I get to stay home Thursday I think. That will make three days in a row – Yay! Friday I am driving to Council Grove to meet a friend for lunch. I don’t have any plans for the weekend. Monday Ellexia and I are going shopping in KC. We are meeting Nicole for lunch while we are in KC. Not sure where we are going shopping but I know Ellexia will know where she wants to go. That girl likes to shop.

Both Kathy and I have been rather quiet the last couple of days. We both feel deeply and it is a hard time of year for both of us. I am grateful that Winter Solstice has come and the light will gradually start to return.

I contacted the lady that did the sound bath in Sedona but I haven’t heard back from her. She may be out of town with the holidays and will get back to me after the New Year. If she can’t do something January 20 I want to come up with Plan B.

I have a quiet January coming up. That feels good. Things have felt a bit too busy for me and it is time for me to slow things down. I need to make sure I am well grounded and centered. The outer world feels huge to me right now and it feels like things are going to get even bigger. It will be important to me that I stay grounded and centered and not get pulled into the outer chaos. I do myself and the world no good if I fall below neutral and stay there.

Grateful for another stay at home day, grateful Jason is coming over tomorrow, and grateful for movies that teach our history lessons.

I went to Emporia at 11:00 this morning for exercise at 11:30. The session went by quickly and I had a deep conversation with my trainer.

Afterwards I went to lunch and then to Walmart. Walmart was packed today with people doing last minute Christmas stuff. I had to climb on my hands and knees to pull out the sack of dog food I needed. Got the stuff to make some chili for Christmas Day and got out of there.

I asked for some help to get the bag of dog food out of the cart and into my car. The man that helped me was most kind. Last time I attempted to remove a bag from the shopping cart I tipped the shopping cart over. I am proud of myself for asking for help. Life is easier since I have learned how to do that.

I am almost done with cleaning my room. I went through my closet and got rid of five bags of clothes that no longer fit. I cleaned out my underwear and sock basket and my nightstand drawers.

Delivered two plates of cookies to my neighbors. I still have more plates to deliver tomorrow. The lady behind my house shared garden produce with us all summer long. It was past time I returned the sharing.

Tomorrow I plan on starting going through the kitchen and getting rid of anything I haven’t used since I moved into this house. I have hosted the major holidays and I figure if I haven’t used it by now, I won’t use it.

Cooking in this house for Thanksgiving and Christmas reinforced the message that this house will only hold what I absolutely need. When I pack too much stuff in it the house doesn’t work well for me. I will have lots of kitchen stuff to get rid of. If anyone knows someone that is starting out and needs serving dishes, etc. let me know and I will be happy to share. Otherwise it is going to Goodwill.

I have a box of books to get rid of too. I will take them to the library for the next book sale unless someone wants them. Most are romance type books. My bookshelves only hold so much and I have to adopt the one in one out policy or the bookshelves get overloaded.

Cleaning out my bedroom has been on my to do list a long time. Feels great that I was finally able to tackle it. Sometimes getting frustrated with the lack of space is a good thing as it motivates me to declutter. I needed to strike while that feeling was still hot.

I think I get to start a stretch of stay at home days. Town was too peopley for me today. I am going to meet a friend for lunch in Council Grove on Friday but think I get to stay home until then.

I texted with Jason today and he thinks he wants to come here for Christmas Day to watch the football game and eat chili. I was going to a friend’s house but will stay home instead. Somehow that feels right to me. I would have had a good time if I went to my friend’s house but am feeling the need to stay home for a bit and totally recharge. I invited Michelle to come too but don’t know if that will happen. Jason was sick when we had our family Christmas Day Saturday so it will be good to spend a day with him.

I sent an email to the lady that did my sound bath when I was in Sedona to see if she could do something remotely the day of inauguration January 20. I need an alternative to watching the news that day. If she is able to do something remotely I will host a gathering that day. Let me know if you would like to be included and I will send details as they develop.

My trainer sent me a Substack article entitled “Forming the New American Resistance by malcolmnance.substack.com”. The author had some excellent ideas about action steps we can take. One of them is taking a 100 hour media break starting the day of the inauguration January 20. I will do that and trust that others will join us. If you are interested in the article let me know and I will forward it to you.

One thing I like to do at the end of each year is do a deep clean of the house and release things that are no longer serving me. It clears out the energy of the house and makes room for something better to come in. I am a bit amazed at how much stuff I am finding to release since I spent the first half of 2024 releasing stuff. Feels good to go through things again and get rid of even more things.

Grateful to be starting on cleaning and clearing the house of things that no longer serve, grateful for resources that teach me positive ways to be in resistance, and grateful Jason is coming Christmas Day.

This has been a rest and recovery day. I didn’t get much done at all today. I did wash and dry two loads of laundry but don’t have them folded and put away yet. I have had no energy at all today.

I attempted to take a nap in my chair but was only able to doze off for a short bit. Woke up feeling a bit more refreshed but that wasn’t enough for me to get up and do something productive.

Tomorrow I have exercise at 11:30 instead of 2:00. My trainer had a cancellation and asked if I could come in a bit early. It will be good to get it out of the way early. I need to stop and pick up a few groceries while I am in town and I also need to drop off Jason’s Christmas packages. I have been concentrating on getting things for Christmas treats and I have forgotten to get food for me to eat.

I didn’t make it out to deliver Christmas treats today. Hoping tomorrow I will be in the mood to do that. I couldn’t people today.

I have been invited to a friend’s house on Christmas Day. Hoping I will be in the mood to go. I’m sure it will be fun if I can make myself go. Feeling the need to hibernate for a bit and allow some hard feelings to come and go. Tis the season for me to allow and let go.

I do need to go meet up with Tagen and take care of changing the utilities to his name. He is starting a new job and not sure when he is off. We also need to get the truck registered and get the permanent tags on it.

I am starting a no spend period. I want to see how long I can go without spending money on anything but essentials. The longest I have even lasted is about 90 days. Hoping to beat that record this year. I like to play games with myself – it helps me find old habits and patterns within. The hardest part about breaking an old habit is discovering you have it.

Grateful for a rest day at home, grateful Solstice reminds me the light is returning, and grateful my to do list can wait another day.

Christmas 2024 is a wrap. We had a delightful day watching the Chiefs win their game and eating lots of food. Jason was sick today and couldn’t come but Tagen and his girlfriend made it.

We ate all day long – sitting in the living room watching the game. I had fixed some appetizers and then we shifted to the main dishes but never did fix a real plate and eat a meal. It was very informal and fun. The kids each made a gingerbread house which turned out to be fun. We played some games and did a white elephant exchange. Very low key and relaxing day.

I had enough treats left over to make six plates for friends that I will deliver tomorrow. I also had enough to fix a box to send to my brother. I might make some more fudge and peanut brittle for my two brothers in Lebo. I might not find the energy to do that – we shall see.

I am working on cleaning up the kitchen. I do a batch of dishes and then come sit in my chair and after a while get up and do another batch. I am almost finished. It will be good to have my dining room table and kitchen back to normal.

I have absolutely nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I think I will take a rest day and finish up my to do list on Monday. This week has been overly busy for me and I am ready for some down time. Monday I have to go to town for exercise but other than that I have nothing on my calendar for the week.

Ellexia is off school for the next two weeks. We are going to find a day and go to KC together. She won some money in one of the games we played today and wants to go shopping. We will have lunch with Nicole and shop till we drop. That won’t take long for me at least. I look forward to spending a day with Ellexia.

During the week next week I need to do some deep cleaning of my house. The back pantry area needs straightened up and my bedroom needs some of my time and attention. I feel like I have been shifting stuff around and haven’t taken the time to properly store things. Now that the holidays are over I need to go through my kitchen and get rid of the things I haven’t used since I moved into this house. Space is a premium in this house and I don’t have room to keep things I don’t use.

Today was a lot of fun. As always after a big day like this I feel the let down. I am so grateful I have a quiet week ahead so I can take time to feel all my feelings and relax and rest. I don’t have much on my calendar for January either. I will cherish this quiet time and refill and recharge myself.

Days when the kids come home are the best kind of days. Without Craig and Jason here I felt there was a big hole in our family gathering today. I sensed Craig’s presence though and know he was here in spirit.

Grateful for a fun day with the kids, grateful Christmas is over for this year, and grateful for a house full of love today.

Got up and got going this morning. I vacuumed the floors and did some picking up. Then I made the sugar cookies and got them frosted.

At 4:00 eight of us gathered for a Winter Solstice celebration. We did a meditation and then had a wonderful conversation. I so appreciated those that came and how vulnerable they are willing to be.

I have a cheesecake baking in the oven now and the cherry jello salad made. That is all the cooking and baking I wanted to do today.

Tomorrow I need to get the little smokies in the crockpot around 9:00 or so. I am also doing nachos so will get those going sooner or later. I am making a green been casserole but I only have two crockpots so will do those in the oven when I bake the macaroni and cheese. Jason is doing pig tails.

I still need to get something ready for a game we are doing tomorrow and then I think I will be ready. It will be a fun day for this mom to have all her kids home. Not sure if Tagen is coming as he started a new job today.

Next week is a quiet week for me. I have exercise on Monday but other than that nothing on the schedule. I am overdue for a quiet week. I do want to gift some people with some homemade treats. I’ll see how many are left over from tomorrow. I may need to make more batches of some of them so I have enough to give away.

I haven’t gotten the Christmas spirit yet. Although any day all my kids come home feels like Christmas to me.

I got the invoices today for the sewer replacement project at Tagen’s house and the roof and gutter replacement project at Jason’s house. It will hurt a bit to write those two big checks.

Today was a good day. I love having friends over and having deep conversations. The world would be a much better place if everyone had a safe circle of friends to share their lives with.

Grateful for my circle of friends, grateful I am ready for tomorrow, and grateful the kids will all be here tomorrow.

Holding my daughter Nicole and Chris’s family in my heart today. Eight years ago today he made his transition. Anniversary dates call us to remember Chris and his life and the love that he shared with us all. We will carry him forever in our hearts.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. It was a long night laying in bed trying to sleep.

I got some of the things off my to do list done today. Most important is I got to stay home all day today. It feels like it has been a hot minute since that has happened.

I dusted the living room and did my laundry. I even got the laundry folded and put away. I wrapped the few Christmas presents I am giving Saturday. I made one batch of fudge and a pan of peanut butter bars. Got the bourbon slush made and put in the freezer.

Still have sugar cookies to make as well as peanut butter Ritz treats. Need to go to town tomorrow and get a grab bag gift and go to a bank and get the right bills I need for our game. I also want to make a cheesecake for dessert for our lunch Saturday. I got some cleaning done today but will need to finish the rest tomorrow.

I am beginning to think I may not get everything done. I might have to cross off a thing or two. I do need to unload the dining room table so we have somewhere to sit for lunch Saturday. My kitchen cabinets don’t have room for the extra things I got to use to make treats and for our lunch on Saturday. It will be good to have our dining room table back.

Tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 is our Winter Solstice ceremony. I look forward to these ceremonies. This ceremony is the best part of the holiday season for me. It helps give me focus for the coming year and helps me release any thing I am carrying from this year that doesn’t need to carry over to the new year.

I haven’t mailed my brother Gene his Christmas package yet. I won’t get to it until next week. I’ll see how many treats the kids take home and will probably have to make more the first of the week. I have several people I want to gift a plate of homemade goodies and not sure I have enough yet. I don’t have anything on my calendar next week so will have time to make second batches as needed.

I realized today how I don’t function well doing last minute things anymore. I used to be able to multi task with the best of them and get lots done. My pace of doing things has slowed down. I would do a couple things and then sit and rest for a bit and rinse and repeat all day. I am running way behind this year but am realizing if I don’t get things done it won’t really matter much.

Grateful to cross some things off my to do list, grateful some of the house got cleaned today, and grateful for the sleep I will get tonight.

What a busy day. I haven’t been home much at all today.

I went to a breakfast at a friend’s house. I left the house before 10:00 this morning and didn’t get home until 1:30 or so. We had a fun conversation and I enjoyed the time I spent. I had a haircut at 4:00 so had to leave for Emporia at 3:30.

After my haircut I needed to finish up getting the things I need for Saturday. Walmart was a bit of a zoo. Lots of people doing last minute Christmas shopping. They were out of the pretzels I wanted. I used the self check out line and attempted to purchase six gift certificate cards. The machine shut me down and the clerk had to come over. She said I had to go to the service counter to purchase the gift cards. There was a long line at the service counter and I didn’t want to wait.

I stopped at the ATM by Taco Bell and got some cash.

I went to Dollar General in CWF and got the gift cards I needed. Evidently there are a lot of scams happenings with gift cards right now and I had to pay in cash. Good thing I had stopped to get cash. They didn’t have the pretzels I needed either.

I went next door to Casey’s and they had the pretzels I wanted. Then I stopped by the ATM in CWF to get cash to replace what I used to get the gift cards. I finally got home around 7:00.

Too much people today! I am ready for a stay at home day tomorrow. I have a lot to get done as I didn’t get the sugar cookies made today.

Tagen let me know the plumber came today and took care of the sewer line. I stopped by his house and checked it out. It looks like they are done with that project. It is good to get that project crossed off my pending list.

I have a very busy day tomorrow. I need to clean the house, bake sugar cookies, make peanut butter bars and at least one batch of fudge. I trust I will wake up with lots of energy tomorrow and will able to get it all done.

Friday some friends are coming over for a Winter Solstice celebration. I need to give some time and thought to planning that. Saturday the kids will all be here before noon as the KC Chiefs game starts at noon. Next week I only have exercise at 2:00 on Monday and as far as I know now the rest of the week is free. I am so looking forward to that. It feels like December has flown by and I need to slow things down a bit.

Not sure what I am doing Christmas Day yet. I am invited over to a friend’s house for the day. I need to find out what my kids are doing and if anyone is free to come over. If so, I will stay home with them and watch the football game.

Still can’t quite understand that Christmas is Saturday for my family. I have not had even a bit of Christmas spirit yet. It will happen either way. I will enjoy having the kids home and spending the day with them Saturday.

I want to give some thought as to what my word for the year will be. This year my word was grace. I learned how to offer myself grace. With all that is happening in the world right now, I want a word that reminds me to continually make a connection with myself. Not sure what word captures that but am sure it will come to me.

Grateful this busy day is over, grateful I got what I need for Saturday, and grateful the plumbing project at Tagen’s house is done.

I had a slow start to my day. I would wake up and decide I was still tired and rest some more. Had some weird dreams during my short rest periods.

Today was chocolate Christmas treat day. I made peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate, pretzels dipped in chocolate and with the extra chocolate I put some pecans in it and made pecan clusters.

I went to a Christmas happy hour at a friend’s house. There were eight of us enjoying special Christmas treats and the beverage of our choice. It was a fun gathering and I always enjoy visiting with dear friends.

I came home and put all the chocolate goodies away. When I get done blogging I need to clean up the kitchen. I make a big mess when I cook. I had to get creative when I was dipping chocolate today. I put a cutting board over the silverware drawer and then set the pan of chocolate on the cutting board. It helped create a bit more space and made it easier.

Tomorrow I am going to a breakfast around 10:00 and I have a haircut in Emporia at 4:00. I have some last minute stuff I need to pick up while I am in town tomorrow. I still haven’t decided on the games we are going to do and need to make a decision soon so I can get what I need tomorrow so I don’t have to go back to town before Saturday.

Thursday is going to be my only stay at home day this week. I have lots of cleaning I need to do. Hoping I will find some time between events tomorrow to get the sugar cookies made. I also need to make the peanut butter bars. I will make the fudge on Friday and then I think I will be done making Christmas treats. I may need to make second batches of some of the things as I have several people I want to take a plate of goodies to.

Looking forward to having the family all here on Saturday. Those are my favorite days whenever I get to spend time with my family.

After Saturday things slow back down for me. I am looking forward to that too. December has flown by and I feel like I haven’t had much down time lately.

I was talking about the retreat today and realized that the vortex peeled away a layer from me. Somehow it is easier for me to know truth now. Not sure how that happened but am grateful for it. That is something I have been working on and speaking and living my truth is one of my goals for 2025.

Grateful the chocolate goodies are made, grateful for friends to gather with, and grateful slowly but surely I am getting ready for Saturday and Christmas with the kids.

I got home at 1:00 last night and finally turned the lights off at 2:00. I slept hard for two hours and then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I gave up around 7:00 and started my day.

I did three loads of laundry and got some of them folded and put away. I got tired and took a nap in my chair for about two hours.

I headed for Emporia around 12:30. I had some errands to run before exercise. I took care of my errands and then went to exercise. It was hard today as I am still tired and a bit sore from sitting so much yesterday.

After exercise I went to Good Saver and got my groceries for family day. I wasn’t up to going to Walmart and the smaller grocery store fit the bill for me today. I wasn’t sure I had enough energy to get all on my list but I managed to do so.

I came home and put things away. I haven’t done much else this afternoon and evening. I am still tired and sore and have little energy today. My tummy is still a bit angry at me and I have had to stay close to a toilet today. I know I am still a bit dehydrated today and have been working on getting lots of liquids down.

I may regret not getting more done today. I have somewhere to be every day this week and I don’t have lots of free time. I still have lots to do to get ready for Saturday family day. Hoping I have more energy tomorrow and I can get things done.

Tomorrow I am going to a Christmas open house in the afternoon. Hoping I get my chocolate candies made tomorrow so I can take some with me. Wednesday I am going to a breakfast and then have a haircut in the afternoon. Thursday I am hoping to have a stay at home day and get my cleaning done as well as some more treats made. Friday I am hosting a Winter Solstice and Saturday is family day. Oh my, I can do this!

Still thinking about the retreat leader and the type of job she did. I am waiting for her to send me a link so I can leave a review and what I might want to say.

I found the website and Facebook page of the sound bath lady. She really was one of the highlights of the retreat and I hope our paths cross again somehow some way.

It is good to be back home. It is always the best part of going away. Don’t feel like I have all gotten all the way home yet though. Thinking by tomorrow I will be here completely.

I just realized I forgot to put the sheets from my bed in the dryer. I was thinking I was going to bed early but now I get to wait until they are dry. Maybe I will find some energy and get something done while I am waiting for them to dry.

After Saturday Christmas will be done with for me this year. December has gone by much quicker for me than it normally does. I still haven’t caught the Christmas spirit but that is OK. It will come and go regardless.

I noticed on the retreat how I have changed. I knew immediately the retreat leader was not authentic and was not to be trusted. I kept my distance from her and did not engage with her. It felt like we were from different realities. In the past I would have over rode my intuition and would have tried to bridge the gap between us. Not sure that ever worked but that wouldn’t have stoped me in the past. I was able to take care of myself this time and not let her level of consciousness affect mine.

Grateful for a morning nap after a night of little sleep, grateful the groceries I need for Saturday are in the house, and grateful my sheets are in the dryer at last.

I was almost asleep last night and remembered I hadn’t blogged. Decided it could wait till today. Hope I remember what happened yesterday. When I travel, the days tend to blur together.

I went to morning yoga but didn’t stay long. I wasn’t feeling the best and the instructor was doing things I had never done before and at a pace I knew I couldn’t keep up.

Had some tummy issues so decided not to go on the hike to the vortex. I couldn’t be too far away from the toilet. I took a nap and then went out and found some lunch. Came back to our place and took another nap.

The group got back around 2:30. They made mandalas but weren’t going to be able to take them home. I decided to skip that program. They didn’t get fed lunch until after 3:30.

After Nicole ate we went out and went to a shopping village of some sort. The prices were high and it was crowded. We looked around for a bit and then walked across the street and up a hill to an Italian restaurant. We were both craving real meat as the retreat only served vegan meals. Both of us had a delicious meal. We went back to the retreat center and visited with some of the other participants.

At 7:00 Gentle Thunder did a sound bath that was the best part of the retreat for me. She created a safe space and I trusted her immediately. She sang, played sound bowls, drummed, used chimes and her voice. About halfway through I was startled with a sound she made. It pulled me out of the trance I was in.

The sound bath was the only part of the retreat that I felt safe in. The main leader of the retreat was disorganized and passive-aggressive. When we first arrived at the house she was busy putting things away in the kitchen and didn’t stop to greet us. I assumed she was the hired cook for the weekend. When I first came out of my room the door locked behind me. I asked her for some help and she said I don’t know what to tell you. Nicole was able to get the door unlocked. We then asked her about having her follow us to the charging port for our car and she told Nicole maybe. Those actions don’t exactly build trust with the leader.

Today we went to a Stupa for a closing ceremony. It was a beautiful park that had prayer flags and two Stupas. We walked around them three times doing a walking prayer. Afterwards we had a closing ceremony and hugged each other goodbye. I struggled a bit to say something nice to the leader. I could not recommend anyone go to her retreat.

I am grateful I went. Nicole and I made the best of it and enjoyed some of the participants. The sound bath and the hot air balloon ride were the highlight of the trip for me as well as the time with Nicole.

We are sitting at the Phoenix airport. We are booked on a 6:50 flight and are on standby for a 3:00 flight that is delayed by 30 minutes. Crossing my fingers and toes we can get out of here early.

It will be good to get home later tonight. I have a busy week ahead of me and lots to do to get ready for our family Christmas on Saturday.

Grateful for this trip to Sedona, grateful for this time with Nicole, and grateful to be headed home today.

Our day started with an hour yoga session. I did OK keeping up for the most part. I sat some of the moves out. The instructor was great but did more advanced stuff than I do in exercise sessions.

We had breakfast and then left for our adventure of the day. We went to some scenic place and took a short hike and did a meditation.

Then we went to a vortex and took a hike. Had some free time to explore the creek and paths. Some dipped their feet in the freezing cold water. I wasn’t brave enough to do so today.

We had a picnic lunch at the vortex site and then came back to our house.

Nicole had taken our electric car to the charging port this morning. One of the other participants had followed her and then brought her back to the house. When we got back after lunch another participant took us to pick up the car. It had charged to 95% which was a relief.

Nicole and I stopped at a grocery store and picked up some snacks. We are both craving protein and meat. The food we have been getting is vegan. It feels like it is all processed food though and it feels fake to me.

I took a short nap when we got back from the grocery store. Nicole enjoyed a massage. They took us to a vegan restaurant for dinner tonight. There wasn’t much on the menu that sounded good to me. I ended up with a margarita pizza which was edible.

When we got back to the house a lady that read Tarot cards was here and she did a mini reading for all that wanted one. Mine seemed to resonate but I don’t remember much about it.

Tomorrow we are going to a different vortex in the morning and then in the evening we are going to enjoy a sound bath.

It has been an interesting retreat. Neither one of us are impressed with the retreat leader. She is unorganized and a bit passive-aggressive. I don’t feel safe with her as she doesn’t listen well and follow up with questions or comments. She tends to make snarky comments back to deflect issues that need to be addressed.

In spite of that, we are both grateful we came. The area is beautiful and it is nice to spend time together. Always something to learn about myself even when the circumstances are not the best.

Grateful for a beautiful day outside enjoying Mother Nature, grateful our car got charged up today, and grateful for this time with Nicole.

Got up bright and early this morning. I got up an hour too early as my phone didn’t automatically change to adjust for the time change. Oops! Went back to sleep for a bit and got up at 5:15.

We left the hotel at 5:45 and headed to the small airport in Phoenix to meet the crew for the hot air balloon ride. We loaded into a van and made a quick potty stop and then headed to the field where the hot air balloon pilot was. For some reason they changed locations and we drove to a different spot for take off.

It took the crew about 20 minutes to get the balloons ready for lift off. It was fun watching them unpack it and then inflate it. We were given the green light to get into the basket. Luckily they had steps which made getting in the basket easier.

The basket held 12 people plus the pilot. We quietly lifted off as the ground crew untied the ropes holding us down.

The ride itself was so peaceful and quiet. It was a brisk morning but when the pilot would release the fuel and the burn happened it would warm me up.

The bird’s eye view of Phoenix was beautiful. We got to a maximum altitude of 2,800 feet and floated for 5 miles.

They warned us the landing might be jumpy but it was very smooth. I didn’t feel much of a bump when we landed.

Exiting the balloon was interesting. I managed to get out fairly gracefully – one of the crew told me he rated my dismount as a 9.5!

We were served breakfast and had a champagne toast. After breakfast we loaded into the vans and they drove us back to the starting point of the adventure.

Nicole and I headed for Sedona which was about a 90 minute drive from the small airport in Phoenix. It was a beautiful drive through the mountains.

When we got to Sedona we started looking for a place to charge the car. We weren’t given good instructions when we picked the car up. We found a charging spot and Nicole managed to figure out how to hook up the car. We sat in the car for about 30 minutes and realized it was going to take about 8 hours to fully charge the car.

We decided to go to lunch while the car was charging. We found a place that was within walking distance of where we were and left the car charging. We stopped at a wonderful crystal magic shop we found on our way to the restaurant.

Lunch was good, service was excellent. The waitress told us about an art gallery that was fun to visit.

We went back to the car and found we had gone from 34% charged to 54% charged. We realized we couldn’t get to 90% which is what we need to be to take the trip back to Phoenix. We decided we need to come up with Plan B.

We went to the art gallery and walked around it. Found a different charging station and let the car charge for another hour. When we found out we could check into our place for the retreat we left and headed there.

One of the other retreat participants is going to follow us to a charging port in the morning and we will get the car hooked up and then leave it all day. They will take us back to the car when we return from our adventure of the day.

I took a nap in my room when we got checked in. I hadn’t slept much last night and needed a rest.

We sat and visited with the other members of the group while we waited for dinner to be ready. They were running over an hour late with dinner.

Dinner was finally served around 7:30. After dinner we had our first group meeting with the facilitator of the group and did some sharing. The facilitator is disorganized but she nailed most of the group with what they need to work on during the retreat. I think I intimidated her a bit but whatever.

Our group session went until 10:00. I am tired and ready for a long night’s sleep.

Tomorrow we are going to a vortex and in the afternoon are doing some group activity. We have free time from 3:00 – 6:00. Then have some sort of group activity again in the evening.

The balloon ride was on my bucket list and I’m so grateful Nicole thought to plan that for us. It was well worth the money spent.

Have had a wonderful time visiting with Nicole. There are a couple of participants that I am looking forward to spending time with. Most are young women which is nice to see they are healing and growing. I am the oldest one in the group but I am used to that.

I have given myself permission to excuse myself from any group activity that I decide I don’t want to participate in. This retreat appears to be intended for beginner level which is not what I had anticipated. Regardless, it will be time well spent especially since Nicole is with me.

Grateful to cross off a hot air balloon ride from my bucket list, grateful for a safe car trip from Phoenix to Sedona, and grateful for this time with Nicole.

Happy birthday to my granddaughter Ellexia. She turns 15 today. I dropped her presents off at her house on my way out of town this afternoon. I won’t get to see her until the 21st. She is a delightful young lady that has a sensitive and caring heart.

Made it to our hotel in Phoenix. Our flight was on time and smooth. Had a wait to get the rental car of over 30 minutes but that was our only delay today.

We got an electric car – this will be an adventure. It isn’t a Tesla so hoping we can find a charging station somewhere in Sedona to charge it. Not sure how we do that but we will figure that all out tomorrow.

Geoff drove us to the airport which made it easy. There was no line at all for security. We ate at a pizza place at the airport and the food was good.

The drive to KC was smooth although there seemed to be more traffic than normal. Guess the Christmas rush has begun. I never hit stop and go traffic but there were lots of cars on the road. Of course I am used to Chase County traffic and more than five cars there seems like a lot.

We have to get up at 5:15 in the morning so we can leave by 5:45. We have a 30 minute drive to the hot air balloon place. Lift off is at 6:30 and it is a three to four hour adventure in the morning. The balloon ride itself is about 45 minutes and then they drive us back to the starting point.

After that we will drive into Sedona. We can’t check in until 4:00 so will have time to find a car charger and get that taken care of while we are eating lunch – at least that is plan A. When you travel to new places one has to stay flexible and figure things out on the go.

We have had a smooth start to this adventure. Fingers crossed that will continue.

Grateful for this time with Nicole, grateful for a smooth flight, and grateful we are tucked in safe and sound for the evening.

I got a slow start to my day. I would wake up and be up for an hour or two and then sleep for an hour or two all night. Hard to feel rested after a night’s sleep like that.

I went out early afternoon to do an errand and discovered I had a low tire. Dropped my car off at Dieker’s and walked home. They could see the nail and it was in a bad spot and told me they may not be able to fix it. I called them a little after 4:00 and the car was ready so I walked up to pick it up. Luckily they did their magic and were able to fix the tire. This is the same tire I had a flat on a month or so ago. I rarely get flat tires and this car that has less than 6,000 miles has had two. Trusting this is not going to become a trend.

I did laundry today so when I get ready to pack all my clothes will be clean and ready to go. I did get my pill box ready and found all the electronic charging cords I need to take. It won’t take me long to throw four days of clothes in a suitcase and be ready to go.

I got Ellexia’s birthday presents in a bag and ready to take to her tomorrow. Hard to believe she will be 14 already. I trust she will have a fun day and birthday week.

Haven’t felt the best today. Low energy and a bit congested. I have sneezed a lot this week for some reason. Thinking it is allergies although I am not sure to what. Trusting by tomorrow I will be ready to go and this won’t develop into anything.

I did get our family day menu figured out and a grocery list made so when I get home next week I can easily get what I need to make the dinner happen. Jason is fixing pig tails so that will be easy for me. We discovered the Chiefs are playing at noon that Saturday so we moved the party up to noon so we all can enjoy the game. We will eat at halftime.

I am to be at Nicole’s house by 4:30 tomorrow. I plan on leaving at 2:00 as I have to stop in Emporia and drop off Ellexia’s birthday presents. Geoff is taking us to the airport and Nicole and I plan on eating dinner at the airport once we get through security. We have a 6:55 flight direct to Phoenix and arrive at 8:50. We are renting a car and driving to a hotel near the airport.

Thursday morning we have a hot air balloon ride at 6:30. After that we will drive to Sedona. I think our retreat starts around 4:30 Thursday afternoon. It is over Sunday morning around 10:00. We will drive back to Phoenix and fly home Sunday evening.

Grateful Kathy is here to take care of things for me while I am gone. It is a lot to have to walk the dogs four times a day with no backup help. The dogs prefer her company to mine so I know they are in good hands.

Fifteen days till Christmas Day. I am running behind this year being ready. I haven’t felt even a touch of Christmas spirit yet. If I remember right I never did last year either. Life goes on either way. My relationship with time is so wonky these days that I have trouble knowing it is even December. With being gone the rest of the week Christmas will be here before I know it. That is a good thing – I’m ready for it to be over and the New Year can begin.

Grateful it is almost time to leave for Sedona, grateful I didn’t have to replace a tire today, and grateful I discovered the flat tire today so it didn’t delay me tomorrow.

Kathy had to work this morning so I had to get up and let the dogs out. I tried to go back to sleep but didn’t get there so I got up.

I headed to Emporia around 11:30. I stopped and mailed my Christmas cards. Felt good to have them on their way. Then I stopped at Clark’s and paid the bill for the water line replacement. It was about what I expected it to be.

When I got to Emporia I stopped at Guion’s and got Tagen a new washer and dryer. Michelle and I are sharing the cost. It will be Tagen’s birthday and Christmas present. That’s what happens when you grow up I guess! I was surprised when they told me they could drop them off today.

Then I headed to Sutherland’s to get the dryer cord and vent stuff and the washer water lines and drain hose. I took those by Tagen’s house and dropped them off and let them know the washer and dryer would be delivered this afternoon. I didn’t pay the extra to have Guion’s install them. Trusting Tagen can figure that out. I did tell him it was important that he get the washer and dryer inside the house today. I don’t want them to sit outside all night. I’m afraid someone will steal them and I don’t think it would be good for them to be out in freezing temperatures.

While I was at Sutherland’s I picked up a space heater for Ellexia. She text me earlier and said her bedroom was freezing cold. I have had the heater guys over there and there is nothing they can do. The venting for the furnace was not installed properly and it can’t be fixed. Ellexia’s birthday is Wednesday and the space heater will be part of her gifts.

I went to the sporting goods store at the mall and got two new pair of pants. I ruined a pair painting and I needed another pair to take on the trip to AZ. I will be gone for five days and I only have four pair.

I went to exercise at 2:00. A little over halfway through the iPad that shows the video I exercise to quit as the battery had run out. It wanted rebooted and my trainer wasn’t sure how to do that so we called the session quit early. The lady from KU was there today so I stopped and visited with her. She is responsible for laying eyes on us monthly and asking how the program is going for us.

I stopped at the Dollar General store to get a birthday gift bag to put Ellexia’s presents in. I will drop off her presents on my way out of town Wednesday. I have to leave before she gets out of school but at least she will have her presents on her birthday.

The plumber for the sewer line replacement project at Tagen’s house called me this morning and gave me his bid. It was about twice what I had hoped it might be but the project needs to be done. My drain guy who I trust recommended this plumber. They might start the project later this week but will definitely be on the job the first of next week. That is quicker than I expected. They are rushing against the weather as they can’t do it until spring if we get a hard freeze several days in a row. I appreciate that they are going to attempt to get it done this year.

I drove by Jason’s house and the shingles are on the roof but they haven’t started laying them yet. Betting they will be there sometime yet this week.

Felt good to get somethings crossed off my to-do list. Last night I ordered Ellexia her Christmas presents on-line so both Ellexia and Tagen are covered for their birthdays and Christmas. Fingers crossed everything comes in on time. Ellexia is old enough to understand if they don’t.

Tomorrow I think I get to stay home all day. I would like to get a treat or two made if the mood strikes. I also need to make a packing list so I can pull things together Wednesday morning. I am meeting Nicole at 4:30 Wednesday afternoon and her husband is going to drive us to the airport. We will get checked in and hopefully have time to grab a bite to eat before our flight to Phoenix.

It will be a busy couple of days when I get home next week. Family Christmas is Saturday, December 21 and I have lots to do for it. I am looking forward to some time with Nicole and seeing the beautiful landscape of the Southwest.

Planning to go on a money diet come the first of the year. I have spent lots of money this year improving four houses. I play games with money and myself and it is time to start a new game. One year I attempted to go 90 days without buying anything other than groceries. Spending can become a habit and I play games with myself to see what my habits are. Maybe it is time I break up with Amazon for a while. Amazon makes it way too easy for me to buy things. I detest shopping in stores so if I make Amazon go away maybe I can go longer than 90 days not buying anything.

Grateful the grandkids Christmas and birthday shopping is done, grateful I crossed somethings off my to-do list today, and grateful over time I have changed my relationship with money.

I spent a quiet day at home. I needed today at home. As Winter Solstice comes closer I am finding my relationship to time is wonky and I struggle to make much of anything important enough to do. Both of these things are part of the end of the cycle I am in. Knowing that makes it easier to accept and lean in to.

I got my Christmas cards done today. It is fun to think about each of the people I am sending one too and remember the memories we have created together. I will mail them on my way to Emporia tomorrow. Grateful that project is off my pending list. I also contacted a guy that did some work on the rental house. I hadn’t gotten a bill from him which is unusual as he is usually prompt in billing. He said he emailed it but for some reason I didn’t get it or else it went to spam and I didn’t see it before I erased my spam. Either way, I got a check ready to mail to him tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have to go to town for exercise at 2:00. I need to take Ellexia’s birthday presents to her as I will not see her Wednesday as I leave town that day. I need to stop and get her two more things and then I can deliver her presents.

I need to take care of getting one more thing for the rental house before I leave town so will take care of that tomorrow too. I also need to stop and pay the repair bill for the water line leaks at this house.

Jason let me know the shingles for his new roof have been delivered and put on top of his house so am betting they will start that project one day next week. He has a small house so should only take them a day or two to complete that job.

Looked up the forecast for the Sedona, AZ area and was surprised their high is only in the upper 50’s for the time I will be there. I wasn’t sure what type of clothes to take but now know to take stuff for cooler weather.. I was thinking I would need warm weather clothes so grateful I checked. I don’t like being too cold or too hot.

I didn’t get any fudge made today as it was cloudy today. Some years ago I discovered I have better luck making fudge when it is a sunny day. Trusting next week will have some sunny days so I can get it made. I need to get some made so I can send some to Gene as part of his Christmas present. As slow as the mail is these days his package may be late for Christmas since I won’t mail it until I come home next week.

Two more days before my short trip to AZ. It will be nice to leave my long to-do list and the Christmas pressure for a bit. I’m looking forward to the hot air balloon ride and seeing and feeling the different vortexes we will be visiting outside of Sedona. I love the southwest and look forward to returning there.

I will have lots to do when I return as I will only have six days to be ready for our family Christmas on the 21st. I will do what I can do and release the rest. Perfection is no longer on my agenda of life. We will gather and enjoy each other and that is what is most important.

Grateful the Christmas cards are ready to be mailed, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful for my memories of days gone by.

Got up and headed for Matfield Green at 8:30. I was pleased with how fast the newsletter was completed. There were 12 people working on it and we finished it in less than two hours. That must be a record. The Chase County Girls Basketball team volunteered and their help was most appreciated.

Afterwards we all enjoyed pizza and then I came home. I sat down in my chair when I got home and promptly fell asleep and slept for a couple of hours. Not sure why I have been so tired this week and have needed naps most days. I had broken the habit of taking naps but it seems like it has come back.

I managed to get two loads of laundry done today and have them folded and almost all put away. I haven’t made a dent in my long to-do list but there is always tomorrow.

I haven’t felt the best today. Have had a headache and just a feeling of feeling off. Not sure what is up with that. Trusting it will pass quickly.

Three days left for me to prepare for my trip to AZ Wednesday. I seriously need to give it some time and attention. For some reason, I am struggling to allow it to be a priority. Good thing I am going for four nights and won’t need to take much. With Kathy here I don’t have to worry about things here while I am gone. That makes it easy.

Tomorrow I may have a stay at home day. I would like to get started on my Christmas cards and make another couple of treats. Monday I have exercise at 2:00 and then I have a couple of errands to run. Tuesday should be another stay at home day so I can pack. I think I am going to take Christmas gifts and games off my plate until I get back from AZ. I will have six days to do it then. I can do it. At least, I think I can!

Feeling a bit disconnected tonight somehow. I have a strange relationship with time anyways and sometimes it can throw me off. Time is such an illusion and the more I step out of the false matrix the more more I realized time for what it is.

Grateful the newsletter got done in record time today, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful things find a way to get done.

I wasn’t ready to get up when the alarm went off this morning. I had trouble falling asleep last night and it felt like a short night of sleep.

I met Tagen at 10:0 and we went to the bank to open two accounts. Not sure why but it took over an hour to get those accounts open. The lady finally got it done and I took Tagen back home.

I went for lunch and then went to two places to look for a washer and dryer. I thought I was going to have to go to Wichita to get a set but found a set close to the price I had seen at Costco here in Emporia.

The plumber that is going to replace the sewer line at Tagen’s house came on schedule at 1:00. He ran a camera down the line and found a spot where the joint had separated and was not allowing the water to flow easily. There were lots of tree roots in the line in places too. The end of the line was full of water which the plumber said was not good.

He is to get me a bid by Monday. I guess the guy I called does the digging but works with a licensed plumber. I hadn’t heard from the guy I had called and was wondering if he was going to come through for me. The plumber said he had about three or four weeks left this year to get the work done before the ground freezes too hard and he won’t be able to do it until spring.

I came home and was exhausted. I sat in my corner chair and ended up falling asleep. I would wake up and decide I would sleep for just a bit more. Ended up sleeping for about three hours.

My cousin stopped by this evening. He brought us a beautiful poinsettia. How sweet was that? I need to find a place for it that the cats won’t bother it as I think it is dangerous and bad for cats to eat.

Tomorrow I have to be at Matfield Green at 9:00 to help with a mailing. It sounds like we will have plenty of hands so it should get done quickly. If I have time, I will go to Emporia and get the washer and dryer for Tagen.

Sunday is a stay at home and I am hoping to get some more treats made. Monday I have exercise and Tuesday I need to pack for my trip Wednesday. I have kept pushing this trip to the back burner and all of a sudden it is being moved to the front. I haven’t even made a packing list yet so I better start giving it a thought. I’m only going for four nights so I won’t need much.

Still haven’t thought of what to get some people for Christmas and what games we are going to be doing. I have two weeks left to decide and get it done. Maybe after the trip to Sedona I can pull myself together and get it done.

Winter Solstice is two weeks away. I am craving the return of the light. Sometimes these last two weeks are hard for me. I am doing my best to take good care of myself and practice good self-care. Trusting I can avoid a dip into the muck pond this year.

Grateful the sewer line project is in the works, grateful the bank accounts got opened today, and grateful for another long afternoon nap.

This has been a stay at home day but not totally easy. This is my first Christmas in this house and figuring out how to make treats has been a challenge.

I moved the cases of bottled water from the porch to the kitchen as they were freezing on the porch. I was proud of myself for finding a space for them and solved a problem. All was well until I went to put Chex Mix in the oven and couldn’t get my oven door open as the cases of water were blocking it.

I went to move the water and the partial case of water went all over the floor. I moved the water but now can’t figure out where to store it.

I made a batch of peanut brittle and that went well. I then made the
Chex Mix and after I could get it in the oven it went well. I made some M&M & Kisses on top of pretzels and that went well after I found a place to put the hot pan.

I discovered I had to clean off my dining room table so I could put the warm Chex Mix on it. I had left out all the stuff to make the Christmas treats as I don’t have room in my food pantry to put them.

This house fits what I need but nothing extra. If something gets taken out of place, it has to go back into place so you can do the next thing. I went to carry out the trash and I had taken a basket of Tupperware down to get the food processor out. I hadn’t put the basket back where it belongs and I couldn’t get out the back door to dump the trash.

Some days this small house really challenges me. I have lived here over seven months and still struggle at times with the space. Good news is 95% of the time it works.

Tomorrow I am meeting Tagen at 10:00 so we can take care of a banking issue. I’m anxious to see how his moving in is going.

It feels good to have gotten started on making Christmas treats. Three down and about six more to go. Sometimes I make a second batch of stuff but am trying to cut back this year. Last year I had too much stuff left over.

Man it felt cold out today. After enjoying the low 60’s yesterday the low 30’s felt cold today. I am grateful I got two new little heaters so Kathy and I can be warmer. This is a cold house. Not sure who put the thermostat in the laundry room and not in the main part of the house. It is a good 10 degrees colder in the living room than in the laundry room.

Wish I could get motivated to finish up my Christmas shopping. I have hit a block and can’t think of what to get anyone. I dislike Christmas anyways and all the expectations that it brings. I also equally dislike last minute stuff so am stuck a bit. It will work out – it always does.

Grateful the Christmas treat baking has begun, grateful my little house works 95% of the time, and grateful for my little heater that is keeping me warm.

It was so nice to take a hot bath before I went to bed last night and a nice shower this morning. My hair seriously needed washed after going a couple of days without being able to wash it. May I never take the small pleasure of a bath and shower for granted again.

My yard looks like I have been burying bodies in it. There is a big pile of dirt up by the sidewalk and another big pile back by the side of the house. Hoping by spring time the dirt will settle a bit and not be so obvious.

A dear friend dropped by today. I love when I can have a deep conversation with someone. I am so blessed with the friends I have. Many of us are on the same path of finding peace and love and figuring out how to live that out during these times of chaos. It does help to have others to bounce things off of and offer encouragement to each other.

I went to Emporia to get groceries so I can start making Christmas treats. Hope I didn’t forget anything. I was erasing some things off my list and erased some extra things. We shall see what I may have missed.

Came home and was tired. I slept almost all night last night but for some reason a long nap sounded so good I couldn’t resist. Trusting I will be able to sleep tonight. I have a stay at home day tomorrow so if needed I can sleep in.

While I was in town I stopped and picked up the title for Tagen’s truck. We will have to go to the court house here in Cottonwood Falls soon and get it registered.

I worked on my Christmas letter today and think it is ready to go. Now as I have time I can start getting my cards ready to mail. I like to add a personal note to each card so it can take me a bit to get them ready. With Thanksgiving so late this year, it doesn’t feel like I have lots of time before Christmas will be here.

I look forward to a stay at home day tomorrow. I hope to get some treats made and to be able to make a good start on my Christmas cards. I also have a couple of phone calls to make. I couldn’t make myself make them today. I also need to give some serious thought to what I am gifting this year. I am running out of time and it is time to make some decisions. I also need to figure out the games we will do on the 21st and make a list of what I need to pull those off.

Friday morning I am meeting Tagen at 10:00 so we can take care of a banking issue. It will be good to get that taken care of. He is slowly getting moved in and I need to find out what he still needs and where he is with that.

Saturday I am going to Pioneer Bluffs to help with a mailing. That will probably take most of the day. Sunday I will get to stay home and watch the Chiefs game and make some more treats.

A week from today Nicole and I are flying to Phoenix, AZ. We will spend the night and early the next morning we are going on a hot air balloon ride and then drive to Sedona for a retreat. Looking forward to getting away for a couple of days.

I don’t think I have fully accepted that Christmas is almost here. I have a weird relationship with time these days and most days it doesn’t make sense to me. The weather patterns don’t help either. It was 60 degrees here today. It some ways it feels like we just celebrated last year’s Christmas. How can it be time for another one?

Sitting in a good place tonight. Felt good to allow myself to take a nap and give myself some extra rest. Somedays I do best when I do nothing.

Grateful I have the stuff to make the treats, grateful for a long winter’s nap, and grateful tomorrow is a stay at home day.

What a day. I got up and going and left for KC around 8:30. As I was getting ready to leave a guy showed up to mark the sewer line. He told me the water line guys were trying to get their equipment running on this cold day and would be over to dig today. It got down to 20 degrees last night.

I drove to KC and went to my eye doctor appointment. I went early to pick out new frames but the eye shop didn’t open until 11:00. Luckily the eye doctor wasn’t busy and after waiting five minutes she took me back. She did a very basic exam since I had seen the eye specialist last week.

After she was done I had to wait another five minutes before the eye shop opened. I picked out frames and got them ordered. It took about 15 minutes to get that done.

Next I went to Nicole’s house and picked her up and we went to lunch. Had a good visit with Nicole as we ate at Chipotle. Took her back home and I drove to Costco.

Man were they busy. I had to drive around the parking lot a couple times to find a parking space. I got lucky and got one up close. Inside the store was busy but manageable. The main thing I went for was two space heaters. The thermostat for this house is in the laundry room. The bathroom, laundry room and my bedroom stay nice and toasty warm but Kathy’s bedroom and the living room are about 10 degrees colder. I found two and they were on sale – lucky me.

I managed to fill a shopping cart of other things I didn’t know I needed. Got through the check out and got things loaded into my car and headed home. I had to stop in Emporia to fill my car up and then I came home.

Kathy helped me unload part of the stuff before she left to go to the movies with some friends. I got the rest of the stuff in the house and my car cleaned out a bit.

The best news of the day is the water is back on. I went out and talked to the two repair guys. They had to repair several leaks in the water line and do something to the sewer line. Not sure I understood what all they did. The main guy told me the yard wasn’t going to look pretty but I had water again. I told him I didn’t care what the yard looked like as long as I could take a shower and flush the toilet. I sure appreciated their efforts on this cold day.

I came back in the house and did dishes and a load of laundry. I decided I might as well test out the lines for them. It is such a privilege to have running water again. May I never take it for granted again!

It was a productive trip to KC and the day got even better when I found out I have water again. I have new glasses coming, got to have lunch with Nicole and I restocked my supplies from Costco. Not a bad day!

Tomorrow I may go to Emporia and get the supplies to start making Christmas treats. I only have a little over two weeks to get them made and I am going to be gone for five days next week. Time is running short.

I need to go to Emporia either Thursday or Friday to meet with Tagen and get a banking thing taken care of. He has started moving in and we need to get the utilities changed to his name too.

Saturday I am helping with a Newsletter at Pioneer Bluffs. Sunday I think I get to stay home.

It is always good to get away for a day and then have the good feeling of getting home safe and sound. Traffic was manageable today and the trip was easy. I look forward to starting to make my families favorite Christmas treats. That is the best part of Christmas for me.

I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that Christmas is a little over two weeks away. I haven’t started thinking about the trip to Sedona much yet either and I leave a week from tomorrow. December is going to fly by which is a very good thing as it is my least favorite month of the year.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, grateful I got to have lunch with Nicole and ever so grateful to have running water again.

I was surprised this morning when a repair guy from Clark’s showed up. He checked the water line starting with the connection at the house under the crawl space. He found a leak and worked for a couple hours this morning to repair it. He left for lunch and then came back this afternoon and worked some more on it.

After he got it fixed he figured out there is another leak somewhere. This one they are going to have to dig to repair it. He called the gas company, electric company, cable and internet companies to get them to come mark their lines. When that gets done, the repair guy will bring helpers and they will dig the line up and repair the other leak.

That means another couple of days with no water. Not sure when they are coming back to fix it. We survived most of yesterday and all of today with no water and I’m sure we will survive another couple days.

I went to Emporia this afternoon for exercise. I wasn’t feeling the best but made it through. I was going to stop and get some groceries to make Christmas treats but with no water I can’t do that so decided to wait to get groceries another day.

I have to go to KC tomorrow for an eye doctor appointment at 11:00. Afterwards I am meeting up with Nicole and we are going out to lunch. I may stop at Costco on the way home and can get some of the supplies for Christmas treats there.

I got the electrician bill for the repair at Tagen’s rental house. They included a charge from June 2023. I have no idea what that was for and called them to ask. They couldn’t find records and told me to take it off the bill. Not sure what that was all about.

I also got a letter from my new prescription drug insurance company. They are telling me I am covered with BCBS. I was but that was back in 2018 and I haven’t been with them for years. I have to send a form back to let them know I no longer have that coverage. Wonder what is up with all these mix ups?

I was talking to my trainer today while we were exercising. I remembered the last time I put up a Christmas tree we couldn’t keep the cats out of it. That gives me a good excuse not to put the tree up this year. Win!

This house is cold today. Not sure why the cold feels extra cold today but it has. Kathy mentioned it bothering her too. Not sure what I am going to do when it gets down to single digits. We are thinking the dogs need to learn how to poo in their back yard pen. Neither one of us enjoy walking them when it is cold out. If I go to Costco tomorrow I might look for some space heaters to help warm up Kathy’s room and the living room.

The title to Tagen’s truck is at the car dealership. They called to let me know it had come in today. One day this week I will need to stop and pick it up and get the tag for the truck. I have to find out how much it will cost to change it to Lyon County when Tagen gets ownership of the truck. I would rather just title it in Lyon County to start with but not sure how that all works. I may go up to the Courthouse Wednesday and ask how it all works.

It will be good to go to KC tomorrow and spend a fun day. I have Wednesday and Thursday free to recover. Hoping they can get my water fixed Wednesday but it may be Thursday or Friday. Not sure how much fun it will be to go without a shower for the whole week.

Sitting in a weird place tonight. I feel well grounded but can’t make anything feel very important. I have some things to take care of on my to-do list but can’t quite make myself do anything.

Grateful one of the water leaks got fixed today, grateful for a warm house this evening, and grateful I can do nothing tonight as that is what my soul needs.

Another quiet stay at home day. I am so grateful for these types of day that refill my soul.

The ice skating rink outside had grown lots overnight. I was getting concerned it was going to harm the new sidewalks so called the emergency number for the city. A guy came and drained the water out of the water meter hole and turned off the water. It took him a long time to get all the water out of it. As soon as he would turn his little pump off the hole would fill with water again.

He still isn’t sure if it is on my side or on the city side. He is thinking my side but won’t know until they do some work on it tomorrow. He is going to coordinate with the people I called Saturday and will come back over in the morning to help fix it. Grateful for his attention and time on this cold day.

I currently don’t have water in the house. We filled some buckets up before it got turned off and fixed a temporary potty. No shower or bath for me tonight. Hoping the workers all show up tomorrow and can get it fixed. It may take a couple of days for it all to get going again but we shall see. Preparing myself for another couple of days without water but hoping it will be back on tomorrow.

I worked on my annual Christmas letter today. I have the first draft done but like to sit on it and read it again a couple more times to make sure I didn’t miss a typo or something important that happened during the year that I wanted to include. It always amazes me how much I do during a year. I keep thinking things are going to slow down and get boring but that hasn’t happened yet. Maybe I am not old enough yet.

Kathy went to Casey’s and got a pizza for dinner tonight. Without water it is a challenge to make anything – or at least that is the excuse we used to indulge in pizza.

Tomorrow I have the water repair guys coming in the morning. In the afternoon I have to be in Emporia at 2:00 for exercise and then I am going to buy groceries to start making my Christmas treats. I also need to stop by the court house and find out how to renew my passport and get it sent in to take care of that. Tuesday I am going to KC for an eye doctor appointment and then am having lunch with Nicole. I don’t think I have any other plans for the week until I am meeting up with Tagen on Friday to take care of a banking issue. Saturday I am going to Pioneer Bluffs to help with a Newsletter mailing.

Grateful I have a couple of stay at home days during the week. My soul and body do better when I get several of those a week.

I need to make some phone calls tomorrow. I never heard back from the guy that is going to replace the sewer line at the rental house and I need to find out what’s up with him. I also need to make a dental appointment. The VoTech hasn’t called me yet this year and my teeth seriously need cleaned. The drain guy hasn’t sent me a bill yet and I need to find out how much I owe him.

It has been a delight to have several stay at home days in a row. I almost feel like I can deal with people again.

Grateful for the city guy that came on the weekend to help me with the water issue, grateful for another stay at home day, and grateful for repair people that know how to fix things.

I managed another mostly stay at home day. I did go to the Old School Christmas festivities twice today. I had lunch there and then came back home. Went back to listen to Annie Wilson sing Christmas carols.

Other than that I stayed home all day. I took care of a few things off my to-do list. I still have a long list but made a bit of progress.

Discovered I have a serious water leak in my yard. I am on the list to get it fixed next week. I have lots of standing water in my front yard and the meter hole is full of water. Not sure if it is on my side or the city side. Thinking mine as the water bill was over three times what it should have been. Trusting things will hold together until they can get it fixed and we won’t have to turn the water off until then.

What is it with water and me? I seem to have had more than my share of water issues.

I stooped by the 4H bake sale on the way home after listening to Annie. I brought home a Bundt cake. I am a sucker for 4H kids. I was in 4H for years when I was in school and enjoyed it. I learned so much and do my best to support the kids. It was cold for them to be standing outside selling their baked goods but they were all in great moods and having fun.

I didn’t brave the Christmas parade and evening festivities. Too cold for me. It was all I could do to take Roxy for a walk at dusk. Kathy took Sophia so I only had to walk 1/2 mile. It took me a bit to thaw out after I got back home.

No plans for tomorrow except to continue to work on my to-do list. There are a couple of projects for me to do in the house. It might get done tomorrow – we shall see.

I made an eye doctor appointment in KC for Tuesday. Luckily Nicole is free to go to lunch when I get done with my appointment. I will probably stop at Costco on my way home. Not sure I need much but it is always fun to stop and see what they have. I hope to miss the Christmas crowd going this early in December.

Tagen needs a washer and dryer at his new house and Best Buy has a set on their Black Friday sale. I’ll have to see if he can go pick them up as their delivery is not available until January. Not sure why their delivery is so backed up.

We didn’t get snow like they did north of here. It smelled like snow and felt like snow. It is to warm up a bit next week but only to the lower and mid 40’s. Winter has arrived.

I’ve been binge watching Christmas movies this afternoon. It has been years since I have done this. Trying to get in the Christmas spirit this year. I never did find it last year.

It is nice to take a couple days and slow things down. I have been going too fast for the last month working on the rental house. I do much better going at a turtle pace. I don’t multitask like I used to and like to take lots of quiet time between tasks.

Grateful for this quiet time at home, grateful progress is being made on my to-do list, and grateful for repair people that can fix water leaks.

I went to walk Roxy this evening and realized I still had my pajamas on. Needless to say it has been a quiet day at home. I put my coat on over my pajamas and walked the dog. No need to getting dressed at this time of day or should I say night.

I did a bit more clean up this morning but took the rest of the day and did nothing. I watched the Chiefs game this afternoon. They sure can figure out ways to win even when they are out played.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I am hoping tomorrow I can cross some things off my to-do list.

I did do some ordering today for the grandkids Christmas gifts. I still have some more to do but it feels good to have gotten a start on it. I realized I only have three more weeks until the 21st when we have our family Christmas. I don’t like last minute stuff so need to get started.

I am adjusting to having empty space again after all the hustle of the rental house. It feels good to have it. I’m sure in another couple of weeks I will start looking for another project but for now it is just what my soul needs.

My phone got an update and they changed the look of my calendar. I don’t like the new change. I wish when they did those things that you could opt out of the change.

Sitting in what feels like the in-between state and I’m not sure what I am in-between. Doing my best to stay open and allowing what is to be what is.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for pajama days, and grateful I get to do this the next two days too.

Thanksgiving 2024 is a wrap. There were 18 of us for dinner. I had expected 24 but several got sice and couldn’t come.

I slept last night between 6:30 and 11:00 and then never did go back to sleep. I am one tired puppy today.

This small kitchen made it happen today. I got frustrated a couple of times with little space. I would pick up a pan without planning where it was going and there was no place to set it down.

The mashed potatoes didm’t turn out very good today. I had too many potatoes for the pan and the top layer got tough and wouldn’t mash. I fished out as many lumps as I could find but several eaters found lumps. They were sticky for some reason today too. The turkey in the roaster worked well but the ham didn’t do as well. It was edible, just not as tender as I like. Other than that everything turned out great.

Kathy helped me get things pulled together today and helped me clean up afterwards. She carried all the tables and chairs back out to the shed while I did dishes. I still have to put the dishes away and clean off the table and then we will be done.

It is good to know I can seat 18 people for a sit down dinner and make it work. I easily could have had at least 2 more and probably 6 more like I had planned. I had pushed the riding bike into my bedroom. If I had been thinking, I would have put it in a different spot so people could have exited the kitchen with their full plate through the laundry room and out my bedroom. That would have made a smoother traffic flow. We made it work so all was good.

Today was the first time I missed my big house. Cooking and serving a crowd in that house was easy. Good to know this house works if I do some advanced planning and think out my moves.

Kathy and I were trying to remember how many times we washed dishes today. I’m guessing at least ten times between yesterday and today and it could easily have been more. This house doesn’t have a dishwasher and with the small space I would fix a dish and then have to stop and do dishes, put everything away and then could start the next dish.

It takes longer that way but I never felt rushed today and could have been ready to serve at noon instead of 1:00.

I am gifting myself tomorrow as a do nothing day. I am hoping to sleep around the clock tonight and take a long nap tomorrow. I may get to stay home the rest of the weekend. I need to do something with Tagen in town but he is going out of town and isn’t available so it will have to wait till next week. What a treat it will be for me to have several stay at home days. I might get some things crossed off my long to-do list.

Next week looks fairly quiet at this point. I have to go to Emporia on Monday for exercise and will go in later in the week to take care of a banking thing with Tagen. Now that the rental house is all but done my life can go back to lots of stay at home days and regular activities.

Debating on putting up a Christmas tree. I never did put one up last year. We had our family Christmas early and I didn’t host it so didn’t see the point. This year we are having it on the 21st at my house. That may motivate me to put it up but man I hate that job. We shall see what I decide to do.

I so enjoyed having a house full today. Good friends, family, lots of food and lots of love in the air today. Thanksgiving is my favorite day of the year and this year was perfect.

Now I get to turn my attention to getting Christmas ready. I will get some things ordered for the grandkids soon and start looking for game ideas. We decided on the menu for our gathering today so fixing it will be easy. I don’t do much shopping for Christmas and the grandkids are old enough to give me their lists. I do enjoy making Christmas treats so will make a list of stuff I need to do that and pick that up next week when I am in town. Then as the mood hits I can get started making my family’s favorite treats.

I still send out Christmas cards and write a letter that goes with them. I will get started on writing that this weekend. It sure helps that I blog and record my life. I struggle with the timeline sometimes and can’t remember with much clarity when things happened. I am getting good at letting go of things and not holding on to them but the downside of that is I forget they happened.

Sitting in a wonderful head space tonight. I absolutely love having friends and family over and fixing a big feast. It was so neat to hear the laughter and conversations that were happening in the house today. Everyone seemed to have a good time and everyone left in a good mood.

Grateful for those that came for the feast today, grateful I was able to pull this event off, and grateful it is almost bed time as I am tired to the bone tonight.

Not a good night to find sleep last night. I have been tired all day. I am getting up at 4:00 in the morning to put the turkey in the oven. May go to bed early tonight. I can go back to bed after I get the turkey going if I can go back to sleep. I really won’t have anything else to do until 9:00 or so.

It was a rough start to my day. Jason opened a bank account and needed to add me to the account. I had completed the steps that bank requested but still got an email asking me to call them for more verification. The lady that answered had a thick accent and I had trouble understanding her. They needed me to send them another picture of my drivers license. I had already done this so not sure why I had to do it again.

I tried three times with the lady on the phone waiting. It would not accept any of them. I asked her what my options were and initially she said I didn’t have any. She finally said I could bring it to my local bank.

I tried again after she hung up and it went through. But it had gone through before so not sure I am finished or not. Sometimes these things feel very difficult for me. I was not in a good mood when I finished all that.

I baked five pies this morning. Chopped up the celery and onions for the dressing and prepped the veggies for the roasted vegetables I am going to put in the crock pot. I also broke the bread I am using for the dressing into bits and pieces.

I went to the liquor store and got some wine. I asked the lady at the store to pick out two bottles of white wine and two bottles of red. She started asking questions and I said I know nothing about wine and that it is useless for her to ask me anything. She picked out the wine but said it felt like a lot of responsibility I was putting on her. I apologized and told her I wouldn’t tell on her. When I got home, Kathy said she liked the choices. The lady did good!

I got a message today and found out four more are coming for dinner tomorrow. Yikes! I will have a very full house. I am sure I have plenty of food – just not sure where everyone is going to sit/stand. I’m sure it will all work out. I remember going to Grandma’s small house and many more than that all fit.

I needed a few more chairs and one more table. My SIL offered to bring those. That was easy! I moved the riding bike into my bedroom to open a bit more floor space in the dining room. Jason is bringing another card table so I can put it up in the kitchen to put food on. I don’t have enough counter space to lay all the food out for people to fill their plates.

I made myself a schedule for tomorrow. If I use the roasting pan to keep the turkey and ham warm I will have enough oven space. I may have to put the crock pots and roasting pan in my bedroom to cook as I don’t have enough counter space to have them going and still have room to make the rest of the dinner. Sometimes you have to get creative to get things done.

Trusting tomorrow will be a better day for me. I hope I got my crankiness over with today! I so enjoy having a house full of people and tomorrow I will get that and more! Trusting I won’t have a cooking disaster.

Not sure I like this colder weather. We got a bit of rain today but it didn’t amount to much. Tomorrow it is to be sunny so that will help. The dogs came inside for most of the day so they wouldn’t get wet and stink up the house. Grateful they can be outside tomorrow as there won’t be room for them. It is only going to be 42 tomorrow so too cold for some to sit on the front porch and eat. Inside will be warm and toasty with all the people coming.

Tonight I will get the tables set up and set. I will still need to set one more table when it gets here tomorrow.

Thanksgiving always seems to kick off the holiday season for me. It is the only part of the holiday season I love. I’m grateful Nicole and I are going on a little vacation mid month in December. That will give me something to look forward to that I will enjoy. We are doing my family Christmas on the 21st. That will be here before I know it.

Not sure I could live in this small house if I fixed a meal for 24 everyday. It takes some planning and thought to get things done. I have to fix one thing at a time and do the dishes and clean up after myself and then start the next thing. Takes longer than it did in the big house. Good thing I only do this occasionally and this small house works great the rest of the time.

No plans for the weekend. Tagen and I need to open two bank accounts so may get that done but Tagen is going out of town for a day or two and not sure he is available. That task may have to wait for next week.

Next week looks fairly quiet so will get some more stay at home quiet days. I do need to make my Christmas treat list and go get groceries one day. If I make one treat a day I will be in good shape for the 21st.

Grateful the feast preparation has started, grateful for all the friends and family that are coming tomorrow, and grateful for a day to stop and give thanks for all the blessings I have.

I manage to have a stay at home days ahead! I didn’t realize how tired I was. I have not done much at all today. I needed to recharge and refill to get ready for tomorrow and Thursday. Grateful I had a day to do that.

The drain cleaner let me know he unplugged the sewer line. He also let me know the line is in rough shape and needs to be replaced. He referred me to some people and I also asked my plumber to refer me to someone.

I called one of them and they are to go look at the house and measure the line and get back with me about the cost. Not sure that replacement was in the budget but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Those things can only be put off for so long.

I have had this house for several years and the first couple of years there was a twice yearly drain cleaner charge. I asked my property manager about it and he had someone do something to the sewer line. The drain cleaner bills stopped and I thought the problem had been fixed. They must have only repaired a part of it.

The good news is Tagen can move in now whenever he can find the time to do so. The line should hold until the repair guy can come replace it.

I spent an hour doing a meditation with the lady that led my retreat to Costa Rica. It was relaxing and exactly what I needed today. She does these every so often for free. She taught me how to relax and soften my body and give to myself the love and compassion I share with others. Powerful stuff!

I think the cold weather has arrived for the season. It is not to get over 45 for the next 10 days. Burr…. We have been lucky to make it this far into the season without these cold temperatures. It is the end of November so we were overdue. My Facebook memories remind me of snow we have received in the past on this day.

Tomorrow I get to start cooking. I will bake five pies, break the bread for the dressing, and get the tables and chairs from the storage shed. Not sure I have enough folding chairs so need to figure out what to do about that. I don’t remember how many I have. I know I gave away some of them as I didn’t have room to store them all. We will figure something out.

I had forgotten to buy some fresh flowers when I was at the store yesterday. Kathy surprised me with some when she came home from town today. Funny how those things work out. I appreciate them!

I need to write out a timeline for my cooking for Thursday. I have a 20 pound turkey to fix, a whole ham to warm up,and then all the side dishes that need to be warmed. I used to have a double oven and could do lots more things at the same time. It will take a bit more preplanning this year but I think I can get them all cooked and be able to serve the hot stuff hot.

I may still get some housecleaning done tonight. Needed to recharge and refill my body first. That felt more essential to me than dusting. The house will be so full I’m not sure anyone will notice the dust.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the meditation today on self love and gratitude and grateful the sewer line got unplugged today and Tagen can move in.

I went to Emporia after I got up and going this morning.. I had a slow start to my day and it took me a bit to get going.

I texted the drain guy and he said he would get to the house late morning. I went in to meet him.

I cleaned the house and got the paint splatters up off the floor while I was waiting for the drain guy. I listened to some Podcasts and the time went by quickly. I had to leave at 1:45 to go to exercise.

I did my exercises and then ran back by the house to see if he had come. He had not so I went to Walmart to buy the rest of my Thanksgiving groceries. Went back by the house again after I got groceries and he hadn’t shown up yet.

I went ahead and headed for home. I stopped and got gas and then came home. I haven’t heard yet if he ever showed up.

It took me a bit to unload the groceries and put everything away. Grateful that task is done. I dislike shopping and it was good to get the stuff I needed and get out of the store. I forgot about on-line ordering or I would have done that instead. The store was crowded but I managed to get around the unconscious people and avoid the big blue carts.

It was cold today. It only reached the low 40’s today. Guess it is time to have some cold weather but I am spoiled and not ready for it yet.

The rental house is looking good. I will be grateful when the drain guy comes and does his thing and the house project is complete. I still have just a bit of painting to do but not much. I wasn’t in the mood to paint today so got started on the cleaning instead.

Kathy cleaned house while I was gone today so tomorrow will go even faster for me. I only have to dust and do some detail cleaning here and there. I also need to bring in tables and chairs from the storage shed and figure out where I am going to put everyone.

I’m anxious to get started baking and cooking. That is the fun part of all of this. Now that the grocery shopping is done and the house almost clean I can start having fun.

Got my property tax bills for the three rental houses in Emporia. Nothing says Happy Holidays more than receiving the annual property tax bills. Wish they would move them to a different time of year. I will probably get the bill for the Chase County house later this week. This is the time of year that I am grateful I sold the big house in the country. The taxes on this small house are much smaller than the big house.

I think I am starting a string of stay at home days. Hoping I don’t have to go back to Emporia for several days. I did forget some half and half but I can get that at the Dollar General store in CWF. Tagen and I need to open a couple of bank accounts but that can wait till Friday.

Feeling a bit emotionally tired this evening. I can tell I haven’t had enough stay at home days lately. I am feeling pretty drained and empty. It will be fun to concentrate on fixing a feast and having a house full Thursday.

Nicole and I are going to Sedona, AZ for a retreat mid December. We fly into Phoenix the day before and then are renting a car and driving to Sedona. Nicole called today and asked if I wanted to do a hot air ballon ride in Phoenix before we have to drive to Sedona. I said YES!. That is something that is on my bucket list. This will make this trip even more special and exciting.

Grateful all the groceries are in the house for our feast, grateful I have several stay at home days ahead for me, and grateful my furnace works and this house is nice and warm on this cold day.

It has been a quiet stay at home day – my favorite type of day.

I watched the football game. I’m not sure how the Chiefs manage to pull it out so often. I have never seen so many penalties in a game. Hope the player that flipped and landed on his head is OK.

I heard a disturbance coming from the dog pen. Went outside and discovered a dog that belongs to the neighbor across the street had jumped the fence again and had come over to visit Sophia. Not sure the meeting was going well. The neighbor ran over and got her dog to go home. I took Sophia on a walk to calm her down. Kathy had Roxy out walking her so they missed out on the fun.

I decided not to go in and paint today. I wanted to watch the game and by the time it was over it was almost 3:30 and by the time I could get to time it would be 4:00. It gets dark by 5:00 and I needed to paint in the living room and I wouldn’t have been able to see what I was doing for very long. I will go in tomorrow before exercise and try to get it finished up.

After exercise tomorrow I will go get the rest of the groceries for the Thanksgiving feast. I have already gotten supplies twice so hoping tomorrow’s trip will be fairly quick. The store will be busy but I will just have to deal. I guess if I get up early I could go in early and make two trips to town tomorrow. We shall see what happens.

I spent some time this morning listening to some YouTube videos and reels. I am fascinated by the concept of 5D and how the universe is moving from the false matrix to truth.

The mentor that I followed did a video on what she calls YoYo people. She perfectly described me. I feel deeply both sides of the range. When I fall down the rabbit hole it takes me a bit to find my footing and climb back out. Then I fly with the eagles and enjoy the bliss that comes with that. My mentor said what is happening is YoYo people help balance the timeline. That makes sense to me and explains what is happening.

This still feels a bit out there for me but the more I learn the more all this is making more and more sense to me. I can feel deeply that there is a major change coming our way over the coming days/weeks/months/years. It isn’t the political change although that plays into it. It is much deeper and bigger than that.

My job is to stay regulated and tune into my inner self. I need lots of private, quiet time right now. I find myself making different decisions than I would have in the past. Things that used to be important to me no longer feel important. I have a deep inner knowing that all is well in spite of the political winds that are blowing. We are birthing a new way of being and the old structure is dying. I feel the labor pains but know the reward from the pain is close.

Not sure any of this makes total sense. I really have trouble explaining it but know that I feel it deeply. It feels like we need to invent a new vocabulary to explain this new way of being.

Grateful for teachers and mentors that help me make sense out of this chaotic world, grateful for a stay at home day, and grateful to be on this path even when I don’t understand it.

Another night of little sleep. Must have slept too much the night before. I gave up at 7:30 and got up and got dressed. I went to Emporia to get the turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. I was only able to find a 20 pound turkey but it will do. I also got a whole ham so we will have plenty of meat for our feast.

Came home and put things away and went back to bed. I slept for a couple of hours. Yay!

Went back to Emporia and painted for about three hours. Am almost done with the painting. I couldn’t do the front door as that room doesn’t have an overhead light and I didn’t have a lamp. I will get it painted tomorrow and do all the last minute touch ups and call it good.

I really need to paint all the windows but decided not to do that. If for some reason Tagen doesn’t get to move in next weekend I may do it then. He doesn’t notice things like that and with the blinds up they aren’t too noticeable.

I brought home a bag full of stuff from the rental house. Extra shelf liners, painting supplies, etc. It felt good to get it out of the house. There is still a bunch of stuff that we are still using in the house that I will need to bring home some. It is almost time to do the final cleaning and call it good.

Monday I have to go to town for exercise at 2:00. I will stop afterwards and get the rest of the groceries. Tuesday I will clean the house and Wednesday I will bake the pies and start prepping the feast. I have done this menu so many times I know the timing of everything and it is pretty routine for me to fix. Latest count is 20 people coming. We will have a house full but I love that. I have a small house but a long table. There is always room for more if you don’t have a place to eat come join us. We are eating at 1:00.

Looking forward to a mostly stay at home week next week. It is long overdue. I love hosting Thanksgiving Dinner and am looking forward to my friends and family gathering. I wish I could skip Christmas and go straight to 2025.

This day has felt weird in sorts. I had the hardest time figuring out if it was Friday or Saturday and if it was morning or night. I must not be well grounded today. The sleep thing is messing with me.

I will be so grateful when the rental project is complete. It has consumed me this month. I needed a project to work on but…….

Grateful I got some painting done today, grateful I got sleep during the day today as it was elusive last night, and grateful I got a turkey and ham today.

I slept the clock around last night! Sleep, dear sleep at last. It is amazing how much more energy I have when I get sleep.

I met a dear friend for lunch. It was good to catch up with her and have a deep conversation. I need that in my life often.

After lunch I went to the rental house in Emporia. I managed to get all the lower cabinet doors put up. I finally figured out they were all slightly different sizes and I had to take some of the ones I had put up down and match them up better. They went on much easier after that.

Tagen came over and we hung all but one of the upper cabinet doors. We need longer and bigger screws for one of them as the screws are stripped out and won’t keep the cabinet door hung up. Tagen said he would get the ones we need and finish that job up.

With the cabinets up, the kitchen looks so much better. The only other things I have to do is finish the woodwork painting and then do a real good cleaning. I hope to go in tomorrow and finish those two things up. The drain guy didn’t show up today so I will need to call him tomorrow and see if I can get him there. That is the last thing that needs to be done before Tagen can move in.

Tagen and I signed the lease agreement today and I also drew up a contract with him dealing with the truck. We went over those and I got him to sign them. We need to go to a bank and open two accounts and then he will be ready to meet his responsibilities. Next week we need to get the utilities transferred to his name or at least his bank account. I don’t know if the utility companies will allow Tagen to have them in his name since he doesn’t have a credit score. Wonder how one does get credit for the first time.

Phil got the backyard gate up so the back yard is ready to contain a dog. He also got the last two blinds hung. The house is really coming together.

I meant to stop and get a turkey and ham before I came home but I forgot. I will have to go to town and get them tomorrow even if I don’t paint.

It will be good to finally get this rental house project completed. Next week I need to turn my attention to Thanksgiving and getting a dinner pulled together. I won’t have time to go to town everyday and work on the rental.

After Thanksgiving will come Christmas and all the work that comes with that. Add in the trip in December Nicole and I are taking to AZ and the new year will be here before I know it.

This has been a good day. I got several things crossed off my pending and to do list. It felt productive and I need a productive day occasionally. Things feel possible again to me today.

Grateful for lots of sleep last night, grateful the contracts between Tagen and I got signed and explained, and grateful the rental house project is almost done.

I didn’t sleep one minute last night. I have been up since yesterday morning. I am beyond tired. Tonight I trust I will crash and sleep the clock around.

Kathy and I left for Topeka at 8:45 this morning. Our first stop was at HyVee on south Wanamaker. Unfortunately it was a wasted stop as the biggest turkey they had was 17 pounds. I can get one that size in Emporia so didn’t get what I wanted.

We went to my eye specialist for my 10:50 appointment. We got there around 10:30 and I got checked in. They called me back to dilate my eyes around 10:40. Next stop was to take pictures of both eyes. Luckily they didn’t have to inject me with contrast material today.

They sent me back to the waiting room to wait to be called back to see the doctor. We sat for over an hour before they called me back. It was past noon by the time I got to see the doctor.

He said I have grade 2+ cataracts in both eyes. He said sometimes they shrink and come back and sometimes this might mean they are growing. Other than that, everything checked out great. I go back in a year.

This doctor has walked parts of the Camino three times. We had a brief discussion of that before I left. We wished each other Bien Camino when I departed. That is what the pilgrims on the trail say to each other.

We stopped at 5 Guys for burgers and fries. It was delicious. I had forgotten how many fries they give you. Luckily we split an order and still couldn’t eat them all.

I’ve worn the shades they gave me at the doctor’s office all afternoon. I have a slight headache but didn’t get a migraine like I usually do this time. I am grateful for that.

The furnace guy came at 3:30 to clean the furnace. It was really dirty. He showed me how to change the filter. I will get some replacements the next time I go to town and start changing in monthly. The cat litter box is close to the bottom of the furnace and I’m sure that doesn’t help the furnace. Keeping the filter clean will cut down on the amount of dust that gets to the working parts of the furnace.

I was to go to a happy hour at 4:00 but the furnace guy didn’t get done until 4:15. I was too tired to go so I stayed home. Thinking I will take a bath soon and go to bed.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for an early lunch and then going to town. I need to track down a big turkey and get a ham. I also want to finish hanging the kitchen cabinet doors and finish the painting. Tagen and I need to go to the bank and open two accounts together. Not sure I will get all that done in one afternoon but will get part of it done.

No plans for the weekend except finishing up Tagen’s house. Still haven’t heard from the drain guy so it isn’t looking like Tagen will get to move in this weekend unless the drain guy shows up tomorrow. One more week won’t hurt if it comes to that. Not sure he has gotten the stuff he needs to be there anyways. I’m sure he hasn’t thought about towels, trash cans, shower curtain, dishes, couch, etc. We need to get internet service lined up and installed next week too.

Something keeps shifting inside me. Not sure I can find words to describe what is happening within yet. I realized today a couple of times that I handled somethings differently than I would have in the past – and in a better way. It often happens that way with me. I can’t always figure out how or why it happens, but I can feel and notice a difference. Grateful for the change however it happened.

Grateful for a good report from the doctor, grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, and grateful the furnace is clean and ready for cold weather.

What a day! Had trouble sleeping again last night. I slept in a bit this morning but then gave up and got up.

Went to Emporia to work on the rental house. Once I got to town I stopped to drop off some Chex Mix to Jason and was able to see him and have a short visit. Then I went to Michelle’s office and dropped off some for her and her kiddos. She wasn’t too busy so we were able to chat for a bit.

Went to the house and worked on the kitchen cabinets. The screws I got on my fourth attempt worked and I was able to get the drawers put back in place. I worked on the kitchen cabinet doors and ran into problems. The hinges I bought cheap from Amazon kinda worked. Some of them I had to drill new holes.

Got the drill bit stuck in the cabinet door and had to figure out how to reattach the drill to it to pull it out. Finally got the hinges all on and then I attempted to hang the doors. Some of the doors don’t line up with the old holes and had to drill new holes. We didn’t mark the cabinet doors and found out they are not all exactly the same size. This type of work is not my strong suit.

It really is a two person job to hang some of the doors. Good thing Tagen showed up and helped me out. We didn’t get them all done before we had to leave to go to the car dealership.

Tagen doesn’t have a credit score yet as he hasn’t had any credit cards, etc. The car dealer’s finance people wouldn’t offer him a loan even with my co-signature with him as the primary buyer. I called the local bank and they would do it but at over 20% interest with 20% down. Yikes! That feels like highway robbery to me.

The only way we could make it work is if I purchased the truck on my own. The interest rate is still over 8% doing it that way. If we added Tagen as a co-buyer the interest rate would have been over 15.8%. Yikes! I am selling one of my rental houses next year and when that happens I will pay off the truck loan and then Tagen will pay me direct for the truck. That will save him over $12,000 over the course of the loan. I will transfer the truck to Tagen’s name when I pay off the loan. I wonder how much that will cost and if we will have to pay sales tax again.

I haven’t borrow money for over 10 years and had no idea interest rates were so high. I feel so bad for people that have no choice but to pay them. I’m grateful to be in a position to help my grandson out.

I asked the car dealer if sales were down. He said last month they moved 55 vehicles and so far this month only 15. Wonder what next year will bring for them if the tariffs go through.

Came home exhausted. I find doing things outside my comfort zone wears me out. I am not wired to hang kitchen cabinet doors. I am proud of those we got up but will have to spend another day getting the rest of them done. May end up asking Phil to do it for me.

Tomorrow I have to leave for Topeka around 8:45. Going to stop at HyVee to get a turkey and a ham before my eye doctor appointment at 10:50. Kathy is going to drive me as they will dilate my eyes and that usually gives me a migraine.

Friday I am meeting a friend for lunch or conversation and will spend the rest of the day at the rental. I didn’t get any painting done today so still need to finish that up. I will work on it through the weekend and get it done. Then I will need to clean the house and it will be ready for Tagen to move in. Still waiting on the drain guy but still hoping he will be there this week.

I will be so grateful when this rental project is completed. It is draining me. I am looking forward to having stay at home days and nothing pressing to do. Remodeling takes more dollars and time than expected and we didn’t do that much. I will be ever so grateful when all three of the remaining rentals are sold and I am out of that business.

Feeling a bit out of touch with the world today. I really had no idea interest rates were that high. How privileged I am to not have to know that. I wonder what credit card rates are these days? No wonder people can’t get ahead.

Grateful I could help my grandson out, grateful some kitchen cabinet doors got hung today, and grateful I got to see and talk to both Jason and Michelle today.

I didn’t fall asleep until almost 6:00 this morning. This sleep thing is wearing me out! I slept in this morning but woke up feeling unrested.

I did have a stay at home day. I got Ellexia some Chex Mix made. Got my desk cleaned up and got caught up on the paperwork that had been sitting on it waiting for me. Mailed a couple of checks to pay some bills. Still have a long to do list but made a bit of progress today.

Phil was at the rental house today hanging one more blind and attaching the gate I got last week. Tagen should be able to have his dog in the back yard and it will stay in now.

The cabinet door hinges came in so I will go to the rental tomorrow and get those attached to the doors. I may need to wait till I have some help to hang the cabinet doors. I have two more shelves to line and that job is done. Still have a bit of painting left to do. Hoping to get that all done tomorrow. I still have Friday if needed to get it all done before the weekend.

Still haven’t heard from the drain guy. That is the last major thing that is holding up that project. Have my fingers crosses that it will get done this week.

It was good to shut out the world and stay home today. I needed a stay at home day. My body wants another one tomorrow but I need to get this rental house done and off my plate. Next week I plan on staying home all week except for Monday when I have exercise. I will be busy getting the house ready for Thanksgiving dinner and doing some prep cooking but that will be fun.

Tagen is having car issues and I may need to help him out Friday with that. I remember years ago being in his shoes. Hard place to be in. The kid is picking up a lot of responsibility in getting his first place to live in alone and I hate to see him pick up a big car payment too. The world feels a little unstable to me right now and I hate to see him get into a big hole at such a young age.

Still feeling a bit unsettled with all that is going on in the world. It feels like something is dying and many are in grief and at the same time many of up are in labor birthing a new way of being. Transitions are never easy for me, especially living through the in-between time. Doing my best to return to doing what I need to do to take care of myself and keep myself regulated. I have no control over what is happening in the world. I can manage my own reaction to what happens and take care of those within my reach.

Grateful for a stay at home day, grateful some things got crossed off my to do list and grateful I have some good self care practices.

Last night I slept for two hours and then was up for two hours. Went back to sleep and slept better for my second sleep.

I went to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. Afterwards I went to the rental house and put shelf liner in the cabinets and drawers. I went to Bluestem and I think I got the right screws to attach the handles to the drawers. This is my fourth attempt to get the right ones. I then stopped and had a late lunch and came home.

It has been raining most of the day. I have over two inches in my gauge. It is to stop raining later today. There is a cold front that has come in and tomorrow the high will be 55 and then on Thursday only 46. Not sure I am ready for cold weather to be here.

Phil got the blinds hung at the rental house today. They look nice. It was too wet for him to attached the new gate in the back yard.

I was too tired to attempt to paint today. I might take a stay at home day tomorrow and then finish up the painting on Wednesday. I’ll see how I feel. I sure would like to get the painting done but my body needs a rest. I think I can get it finished up in one more day of painting.

I have a growing list of things I need to do at home. I am behind keeping up with things here. I have been too distracted with the rental house to do things here.

Still not sure if Tagen can move in this weekend. Waiting on the drain guy to do his magic. The weather today was not cooperating today for him to come. There is quite a small pond in the back yard and I’m not sure if he can work back there for another couple of days.

Feeling a bit unmotivated today. I had a political discussion with my trainer today. It was a good discussion as we are both on the same side but it caused a bit of fear to come in. I will do some work on myself and release that. I am seriously considering discontinuing reading and listening to the news so much. I don’t spend lots of time on it but with the winds that are turning dark I’m not sure it is in my best interest to keep up with the daily twists and turns. I will continue reading Heather Cox Richardson and Joyce Vance as they are sources I trust and they will keep me informed of the important things happening.

Grateful the blinds are installed, grateful the cabinets and drawers are lined, and grateful I honored my body today and didn’t attempt to paint.

After I got up this morning I went to the rental house in Emporia and painted. I made good progress. Another productive day like today and I will get it finished painting. Then I have to clean it but that shouldn’t take too long.

We still need to get the blinds hung and the new gate we got for the back yard needs to be permanently put in place. Phil said he can take care of those things. Not sure what I would do without Phil. If the drain guy gets there this week and gets that problem fixed, Tagen should be able to move in next weekend.

I looked at the roof of the house today and know that it will need replaced sooner rather than later. I will plan on doing that next spring.

I listened to some podcasts while I painted today. It makes the time go. By faster and painting is less boring.

Came home and watched the Chiefs get beat. They played tough but things didn’t go their way.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. I will either go in before and paint for a couple hours or stay afterwards and do it. Hoping the drain guy will call me in the morning and want me to meet him there.

Thursday morning I have to go to Topeka and then the heating guy is coming in the afternoon to my house to do the annual check. No plans for next weekend but helping Tagen moved if he needs my help.

Hoping to get two or three stay at home days this week. They have been in short supply since I started work on the rental and I am missing them. I get cranky when I don’t get a couple stay at home days a week.

We are to get some rain this evening. We are still close to drought conditions so I welcome the rain. I miss being able to watch the storms roll in. I am slowly losing touch with the sky and moon as I can’t see them that well in town.

Feeling in a bit better place today than I was in yesterday. I got some sleep last night and that always helps. I was pleased with how much painting I got done today and realized how close I am to being finished. I really like how the house has been transformed with a little bit of paint and new lighting. I’m still very disappointed in the company that managed the property. Lesson learned I trust. I will be grateful when I am out of the rental business. That won’t happen for another couple of years but I am headed that way.

Grateful for the painting I got done today, grateful there isn’t a lot of painting left to do, and grateful Phil is going to install the blinds and gate.

It has been a hard day. I didn’t fall asleep until 6:00 this morning and then woke up every hour for about 10 minutes. Gave up at 10:00 and got up and showered.

I went to Emporia and painted until after 1:30. I have reached the point in this project where it feels like I will never get done. I painted woodwork today and it goes so slow. I will go back tomorrow and paint the rest of the walls so it feels like I am getting something done.

When I got home Phil was painting the lattice on the front porch. Wow! I love the new look of the porch. It changed the whole image of the house. So grateful that project is completed. I so appreciate Phil and his skills.

I attempted to take a nap when I got home. I slept off and on for about two hours. This lack of sleep thing takes a toll on me after a while.

The drain people didn’t show up today. Hoping they will make it soon. That is the thing that will hold up Tagen moving in. That has to be fixed before he moves in.

I attempted for the third time to get the right screws for the handles of the drawers. Failed again. Not sure why that is so hard. The ones I got today were too long. I will try again Monday.

Next week I have exercise on Monday and Thursday I have to go to Topeka for the eye specialist appointment. While I am in Topeka I want to go early and get the ham and turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. The store I go to tends to have bigger turkeys than I can find in Emporia.

I should have plenty of time next week to get this rental house project wrapped up. I know I am further along than it felt like today. It is easy for me to lose perspective. The back end of a big painting job always feels bigger than the front end to me.

Five weeks from today we are doing our family Christmas. As soon as Thanksgiving is over I will need to start planning. I don’t like last minute shopping – not that I do much of it. I need to prompt the grandkids for their wish lists so I can get things ordered. I will make a list of the treats I want to make and make a big grocery store trip. In this small kitchen I have to plan out what I am making when as I can only do one at a time. I don’t have lots of storage space for the finished product.

Feeling a bit ungrounded and unsettled tonight. Lack of sleep can do a number on me. I am getting behind on things I need to do around this house and am feeling a bit overwhelmed with the rental house. I will push through and get it done this week.

December is my least favorite month of the year. The continued darkness is hard and the fake commercialism of the season wears me out. I do look forward to Winter Solstice and the return of the light. I am grateful Nicole and I are going to AZ for four days in the middle of December. That will give me something to look forward to and hopefully get me over the hump of the season.

Grateful I got a bit of painting done today, grateful for what sleep I did get today, and grateful tomorrow is a new day.

I was up early this morning and in Emporia before 8:00. The electrician showed up as promised a little after 8:00. He discovered the switch to the kitchen light was bad as was the switch to the bonus room light. He replaced both of those and changed the plug in to a three prong plug as it is in the kitchen. He then discovered the light bulbs were burned out in the bonus room. He had to go to the shop to get some new LED ones. He finally finished up around 9:30.

While he was there I worked on the kitchen cabinet doors. Discovered I ordered 1/2 inch hang instead of 3/8. I ordered the correct ones and they are to be in mid week. Got the cabinet door pulls on but needed different screws for the drawers. Took a bunch of trash to the trash bin and cleaned up the living room and kitchen a bit.

After the electrician left, I went to Sutherland’s to get different screws and picked up some cleaning supplies. Then I went to Commercial Street Diner for breakfast. A dear friend was there and he picked up my tab.

Went back to the rental and found out the screws I had gotten didn’t work. I started painting and got the spare bedroom finished up. I went to the bigger bedroom and got most of the walls finished up but ran out of paint. I also did some painting on woodwork in the living room. I had picked up some paint remover and it works well on the splatters on the floor. Still have more to remove but got started on the cleanup of those.

Tagen came over and we went to get different screws. Also got a gate for the back yard so he can dog proof it so his dog will stay in the yard. Then we stopped at Sherwin Williams and got another gallon of paint. Stopped for some ice cream at Freddy’s and then went back to the rental house.

Discovered only three of the 11 screws we got were the right size. The others are too long. They were all in the same box but evidently had gotten put in the wrong box and no one noticed. Maybe the third time will be a charm.

Tagen was working on cleaning out the gutters when I left. He needed to go get some gloves as he said there is mud in the bottom of the gutters. We need to get the gutter drains connected and cleaned out too.

By then it was 4:30 and I was wiped out. I came home and haven’t moved much. Man am I sore and tired.

I will go back to the house tomorrow and do more painting and clean up. Hoping the drain guy will show up tomorrow and figure out what needs to be done. Worried that will turn into a big project but he does magic and may be able to fix it without replacing pipe.

Looking like we will be done this weekend except for hanging the cabinet doors but that won’t take long once the parts are in. Tagen is going to try to hang the blinds. May need to ask Phil to come do those if Tagen can’t figure them out. The only other thing that will delay Tagen moving in next weekend is the sewer drainage problem. Fingers crossed that won’t be a big problem and if it is the workers can get it fixed quickly.

This day went by quickly. I am really tired and may be in bed by 8:00 tonight. Hoping I can find some energy to do more painting tomorrow. I am getting so close to being done painting.

I was impressed all the professionals that I called Tuesday have come and taken care of their projects at the house. The only one left is the drain cleaner and he told me it would be several days before he could come. One by one, things are getting crossed off the list and getting taken care of. The house is already looking much better inside and we haven’t cleaned it good yet. I still can’t believe that the property manager said the house was ready to be moved into.

Too tired to think much tonight. It will be good to have some quiet days next week with nothing on my urgent list. This rental property has kept me busy this week.

Grateful the electrician did his thing today, grateful for the progress that is being made, and grateful to be sitting in my chair tonight.

I slept in spurts last night. I would sleep for two hours then be up for two hours. Rinse and repeat all night long. I didn’t feel like I got good sleep last night and am tired this evening.

After I got up this morning I went to Emporia to paint. The pest guy had come yesterday as did the plumber. Two things crossed off my list. I got the kitchen cabinets painted so they are ready for the doors to be rehung. I did other woodwork painting too. I think I am getting close to the end of the painting. It feels possible that by Sunday I will be done with painting.

There is still a small pond in the back yard so am seriously concerned that I have a major problem. A couple of years ago we did a repair on the sewer lines but it is looking like I have another problem. Trusting I can find the right people to get it fixed in a timely matter and at a reasonable cost.

Tomorrow I am meeting the electrician so he can figure out why the kitchen light won’t turn on. I will stay and paint for as long as I can. I still have some walls to paint as well as more woodwork. It is possible the drain guy may show up tomorrow or Saturday. Tagen is to help me this weekend so that should help things move along.

Once I get all the painting done we will have lots of clean up to do. Tagen should be able to move in the following weekend if we can get the sewer problem identified and fixed.

Jason called me this afternoon and we had a nice long chat. I love when one of my kids calls and fills me in on what is happening in their lives.

I stopped at Walmart before I came home after I finished painting today. I got lots of the non perishable items off my Thanksgiving list. I forgot to get groceries for me to eat between now and Thanksgiving. Good thing I will be going back to town all three days of the weekend.

I got a letter from my insurance company today telling me they were not going to renew me for next year. I got hold of them and they told me to ignore it. Evidently they changed their policies and will only allow a client to insure two rental properties in addition to a residence. Luckily I had decided to leave one of the rentals with another company as I should be selling it early next year and leaving it where it was seemed easier than changing it. I trust they advised me correctly and I won’t run into problems when the renewal gets closer.

I picked up some Christmas cards while I was at Walmart today. It is almost time to start working on those. I usually write a Christmas letter to go with them. It takes me some time to write it. I save a copy each year and over the years they have become like a mini history book on my family.

While I was painting today I listened to some podcasts from my new mentor. It makes the time go by quickly and I feel like I am learning lots while getting painting done. My new mentor is helping me realize how the false matrix we have been in has to go. She does a call a week and I have been listening to some of the recorded ones to get a better sense of what she is teaching.

Grateful for more painting done today, grateful the pest guy and the plumber did their tasks, and grateful the preparation for Thanksgiving dinner has begun.

This day has not gone as I thought it would. I didn’t fall asleep until around 5:00 this morning. I had to get up at 8:00 so I could be in town by 9:00 to wait for the furnace repair guy to show up.

I got to the house and it was cold. The furnace has not been working and I was tired and got cold. I could not make myself paint. I didn’t feel very good and my body ached.

The repair guy showed up a little after 9:30. He discovered the gas guy had turned the gas off to the furnace which is why the pilot light had gone out. He got that fixed and cleaned the connections. He checked out the thermostat and said it was OK. Not sure what the gas guy had found that made him turn the gas off to the furnace. I left the heat on and will check it tomorrow to make sure all is well.

It didn’t take the repair guy very long to do what he did and he was gone by 10:00. I then discover the bathtub faucet was dripping and the bathtub had about two inches of water in it which means the drain is plugged.

I called the plumber to come fix the bathtub faucet. They are to come tomorrow to fix that. I also called my drain clean out guy to come figure out why the tub isn’t draining. He said he can’t come for a couple of days. So far everything else in the house drains OK. While I was on a roll, I call the pest company and got on their schedule. I also called an electrician to come figure out why the kitchen light fixture doesn’t work. The electrician is to let me know when they can come.

I noticed the back yard has a small pond in it. Not sure if it is related to the bathtub or if it rained that much last night or if there is yet another issue that needs addressed. The drain guy has a camera that he can run down the lines so hopefully he can check all those out and make sure I don’t have a bigger issue. Dang! The list seems to grow as I get one thing crossed off I add two more.

After the furnace guy got done and I made all the calls I came home. I texted my trainer and let her know I couldn’t do it today. I came home and took a three hour nap. I felt much better when I woke up.

The pest people called and they had a cancellation this afternoon so I gave them the front door code and they were to go over and treat the house this afternoon. That was fast.

A friend came over and I helped her with a tax situation. Hopefully she can take the next steps to resolve her issue.

Kathy and I went to a birthday party and spent two hours visiting with some beautiful souls. It is always good to spend time with the gang/

When we got home it was dark and getting cold outside. We each took a dog and took them on their early evening walks. It sure felt good to come in to a warm house when I finished the dog walk.

Tomorrow the plumber is to come so will try to get to the house in the morning and wait for them to show up. I hope the house will be nice and warm and I will be able to get lots of painting done. I don’t have anything on my calendar the rest of the week so trusting I can get this project wrapped up this weekend. Tagen is off this weekend so he said he could help all day Saturday and Sunday too. He is getting anxious to get moved in so maybe we can get it done so he can move in the following weekend.

I’m grateful I had a keypad lock put on the front door. That way I can give repair people the code and they can let themselves in the house and I don’t have to be there.

I’m feeling a bit like I have dropped out of society. This rental project has consumed me and I don’t have a clue what else is happening in the world right now. I read the news and can’t seem to comprehend what I am reading.

I got my Thanksgiving invitations out yesterday. So far I have 16 people coming for dinner. Still have room for more. If anyone needs a place to go for dinner on Thanksgiving give me a shout. I always have room at my table for more. I may have a small house but I have a long table.

I have to go to Topeka next week for a Doctor’s appointment. I want to stop and get a big turkey and a few other groceries for the Thanksgiving dinner. I will have to do that before my appointment as the doctor will dilate my eyes and I won’t be able to do anything after that.

I feel like I haven’t been home much lately. I will need a couple of stay at home days soon to get myself grounded again. I do better when I have a couple stay at home days a week.

My short trip to Sedona is in a month. I am looking forward to it and spending time with Nicole. I went to Sedona years ago for a business meeting and remember a bit about it but not much. It will be good to get away for a few days and explore some vortex areas outside of Sedona.

It won’t be long before I also need to give some thought about what we are going to do for Christmas. Luckily I don’t do lots for shopping so that makes things easier for me as I hate shopping. I will need to start bugging the grandkids for their wish lists. I also need to find some fun games that the kids will play when we gather. I also need to make a grocery list so I can get all the things to make our favorite Christmas treats. That is the only part of Christmas that I like besides having all the kids home at the same time for our gathering.

Grateful the furnace at the rental house was an easy fix, grateful I was able to call the other repair people today and got on their schedules, and grateful for the extra rest I got this afternoon.

This has felt like a long day. I didn’t get to sleep until after 2:00 this morning and woke up around 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. Around 7:00 I gave up and got up and took a shower and got dressed.

Did a bit of housework. I was expecting a friend to come over at noon so I could help her with a tax situation but something came up and she had to reschedule for tomorrow.

I decided to go to Costco in Wichita. I had a list of things I needed with toilet paper at the top of the list as we were getting very low. I stopped at Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Costco. I filled the car up with gas since I was there and saved about $0.30 a gallon. Got a full cart of things I needed and other things that I couldn’t resist.

By the time I pushed the full cart around the store and loaded everything into my car I was worn out. Then I had to carry everything in when I got home. Dang, that was a work out. I got three cases of water and a couple of other heavy things. I found a nice winter coat for $30. I will use it mainly to walk the dogs so didn’t want to pay much for it. It feels really warm but I shall see if it is when it gets cold later this year.

Tomorrow I have to be at the rental house by 9:15 to meet the furnace repair guy. After that I go to exercise at 11:00 and then my friend is coming over at 2:30. I have a birthday party to go to at 4:00. It will be a busy day. I hope to get some painting done while the furnace guy is doing his thing.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday will find me at the rental house getting it finished up. I think if Tagen and his girlfriend help, we can get it finished up this weekend. Tagen is getting anxious to get moved in.

Luckily next week is rather quiet. I may need a quiet day or two at home to recover from four days of painting. I do have to go to Topeka that week to the eye doctor but other than exercise I don’t have anything else on my calendar for that week.

I need to make a grocery list for my Thanksgiving dinner. I like to get the non perishable things early so it isn’t such a big grocery shopping trip when I pick up the perishable stuff. I will look for a big turkey when I am in Topeka in another week.

I signed up for a year’s long class with a new to me teacher. She lives in South Africa and I have been binge watching her YouTube channel. She finds words for things I have felt but didn’t know how to explain. When I get a chance I will start watching her classes. I needed something to feed my soul and am trusting this will do that for me.

I have a feeling bed time might come a bit early for me tonight. I sure could take a nap right now but it is too late in the day to do that – especially since I have to be in Emporia by 9:15.

I signed up for a new prescription plan for 2025. I plugged in the drugs I take and found the cheapest one I could find. It is only $3 a month. I get all four prescriptions via mail and a 90 day supply at a time. Sure makes them cheaper doing it that way. I also had to change the bank account where my Medical supplement insurance is taken out of and I was able to figure out how to do that. Somedays that type of thing is easy and other days not so much. Today it was easy.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita today, grateful I was able to cross some things off my to-do list today, and grateful for a new teacher/mentor.

I got up and after I had breakfast I went to the rental house to paint. I painted for about four hours today. I got the walls in the living room done and most of the kitchen and bathroom walls. Still have to finish the two bedrooms and hallway walls. Have lots of woodwork left to paint.

I did stop at Sutherland to get a ladder. I needed one that had a paint ledge. They had what I needed although it was a bit taller than I really wanted but what I got works.

I stopped and had lunch and around 3:00 and then came home. I am tired. Four hours of painting was probably at least one hour too much.

Tomorrow I have someone coming over at noon to get some help with their taxes. I will probably not paint tomorrow and get caught up on some things around home. Wednesday the furnace guy is coming to check things out at the rental house at 9:30. I have exercise at 11:00 so plan on getting some more painting done then. I may go back after exercise and do some more painting. I would really like to get the painting done this week but not sure that is realistic.

Thursday and Friday I have nothing on my calendar so can do lots of painting then if my body will allow it.

I found a new to me person that does You Tube videos about energy. As she talks, the things she is saying feel very true to me. She offers a class that I am seriously considering taking. I need a new mentor and teacher and she helps me find words for what I have been intuitively been getting. I have felt for sometime we are undergoing a major shift in the world’s energy. She helped me understand it is OK to not understand what the next step is. We are being called in go inside and discover our own power. Then as we go out into the world to allow our light to shine. I can still get stuck in “doing” instead of “being” and I don’t understand how that is enough. On one hand I can see how it is but on the other hand I stuggle to get it. I think if I spend some time learning more I can make that transition and help others do it also.

I haven’t had a teacher for a long time and it is time for me to find one. The class I took on boundaries was life changing and helpful. I had thought that was the way I wanted to go but could never pull the trigger and jump in all the way on it. This new opportunity feels like it will take me deeper and be more of what I am looking for.

Grateful for teachers and mentors, grateful more painting got done today, and grateful for a beautiful fall day.

I finally was able to go back to sleep around 3:00 this morning. Luckily I was able to sleep in late this morning.

I watched the Chiefs game at noon. I don’t know how they pull out of games like they do. Hope their luck holds for the rest of the season.

This has been a quiet day for me. Words are hard for me to find today. I’m grateful I didn’t have to talk to anyone today or go any where. I am so privileged to be able to take a day and do nothing and not interact with anyone except briefly with Kathy.

My trainer asked me to change my session that was scheduled for tomorrow to Wednesday. So now tomorrow I can either stay home or go in and paint. Not sure what I am going to do. It will depend on if I feel like I can get lots of painting done or not.

Phil let me know he went to the house today and got the key pad lock installed as well as the vanity and he was able to fix the toilet. Good to cross all those things off my list.

I do need to make some calls tomorrow and get a pest control company to come out and I also need to figure out what is up with the bath tub not draining properly and get that fixed.

I watched a video today about What Now? Her advice to both sides was the same. If you are elated with the election results or if you are shattered both sides need to consider who controls them. Our power comes from within not external factors. It isn’t a matter of sticking your head in the sand and ignoring world events. It is a matter of not allowing those events to control your mood, happiness, and the amount of love you give to the world. Your power is within!

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for a free day tomorrow, and grateful for mentors that help support my world view.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. My tummy was a bit upset and sleep was not to be found. I finally gave up and got up.

Went to Emporia around 9:15. Got to the rental house and started taking plates off the cabinet doors Tagen had taken down to get them ready to paint. Discovered the paint bushes had not been cleaned so had to go get two new paint brushes.

Came back to the rental house and painted the kitchen cabinet doors. Then painted on the cabinets themselves.

Tagen and his girlfriend came over. I had him work on taking down all the old blinds and hardware. I got to a stopping place on painting and we went to Bobby D’s for lunch.

While I had some muscle with me I took them to Walmart to get cat and dog food. Tagen lifts those 44 pounds bag of feed like they weigh 4 pounds.

We went back to the house and I painted some more while Tagen finished taking down all the blinds. Around 3:30 I decided I had painted enough for the day and cleaned up my mess and headed home.

I came home and felt cold. I could not get warm. I finally took a hot bath and went to bed. I slept for a couple of hours until the dogs decided it was time for their late evening walk. I got up and got dressed and took them each on their 1/2 mile walk.

I am still tired but not sleepy. I will probably stay up for another hour or so and then try to get some more sleep.

If my body will allow it, I will go in and paint some more tomorrow. I still have the rest of the kitchen cabinets to paint and more woodwork to paint. When I get all that done I have some wall painting left to do. Right now it feels like I will never get done but I’m sure that isn’t true. Still hoping to get all the painting finished up this week.

Monday I need to figure out if I need a plumber or a drain cleaner so they can fix the bath tub drain which is not draining well. The heater guy is coming Wednesday. I need to call a pest control guy to come. The kitchen light fixture is not working so will need to call an electrician to fix that. Phil is going to come over and finish installing three things for us. The tree guy has us on his schedule but won’t be over for several weeks. We will have to get all the kitchen cabinet doors put back up. Then we have lots of paint spatters to clean up and then I think the house will be ready. Lots to take care of yet but hoping it will all get done soon.

Monday I have exercise in town. Tuesday someone is coming over for help with a tax issue. Wednesday the furnace guy is coming over. I have free days Thursday and Friday. No plans for next weekend either.

I really do need to start thinking about Thanksgiving and getting invitations for dinner out. I am going to be brave and attempt to fix a full dinner for 16 – 20 people. It may be my last one if it is too hard to do all that in this small house. I love having a house full for Thanksgiving but that number is smaller this year than it has been in the past for me due to the smaller house.

Christmas needs to start hitting my planning list too. I don’t have many presents to buy. I love making all the special treats though. We play games for our Christmas gathering and I will need to start figuring out what games we will be doing and get the stuff and prizes for them taken care of. It will be here before I know it. I don’t do well with last minute stuff these days. I don’t move near as fast as I used to.

The last couple of years I have sent a Christmas letter to my friends and family. If I plan on doing that this year I need to start thinking about getting that ready too. This time of the year sure gets busy and with the rental house I feel like I have lots on my plate right now. I had wanted more things to do – I need to be careful what I ask for.

Still viewing the election results with a deep knowing that my purpose for being here just got defined. I have a strong belief that there is a universal dying of the old ways happening along with the dying of a male dominated society. Change is frightening for many and many are holding on for dear life to the old ways of doing things. A new way of peace and love is being born. We are both grieving for the old and going through birth pains for the new path to come into being.

My job is to stay firmly on the peace and love path and invite others to walk beside me. We all have to find ways to stay grounded and regulated and meet others with love and peace. Man is that hard somedays. It is so easy to slip into fear and divide. The more I can keep myself regulated, the less I slip into the muck pond of fear.

Grateful more painting and progress was made on the rental house today, grateful to spend tine with Tagen, and grateful for all my mentors and teachers that had led me to a path of love and peace.

I slept in a bit this morning. I stayed up rather late last night and it felt good to get some extra sleep this morning.

I left for Topeka around 11:30. I stopped at Chipotle for lunch and then went to Walmart to get blinds for the rental house. They had what I needed except for one.

I stopped and filled my car up with gas and then went to my doctor’s appointment. I got there at 1:45 and they called me back at 1:50. The nurse did her quick thing and then I waited. At about 2:30 the nurse popped in and said the doctor had an urgent phone call but would be in soon.

She finally shows up about 2:45. She did apologize several times for running late. She asked the normal questions and looked at my test results. All is well. I asked her about switching to the generic Synthroid medication due to cost. She told me about some place in Mississippi that I can get the liquid Tirosint for $160 for a three month supply. I am currently paying $155 a month.

She sent through a request to them to contact me and get me on their program. I am to contact her if I don’t hear anything in the next two weeks. I will never understand the variant prices of drugs. It doesn’t make sense to me. Not sure what the price will be next year but if they stay rather reasonable I told my doctor that I would stay on the liquid type of thyroid medication.

I came home after my appointment. It rained on the way up and then again on the way home. It was in the mid 50’s today. It was cold and wet today. The house smells like wet dog. Yuck!

Tomorrow I plan on going in to the rental house and painting most of the day. Tagen is off and he is supposed to come join me. We shall see if that happens. I have lots of things I ordered to take to the house tomorrow. I need to borrow Tagen’s muscles and have him help me get a couple bags of dog food in my car. I am almost out.

I got the bid for the guttering at one of the other rental projects. They are going to do the roof first and then do the guttering. Not sure when that is going to happen yet. They are to let me know when they can work it into their schedule.

Wednesday the heat and air guy is coming to Tagen’s house and fixing the furnace. The pilot light was lit by the gas guy but it didn’t stay on and there is some question about the thermostat working properly.

Phil let me know the bathtub wasn’t draining properly so next week I will need to get someone out to check that out. Dang, the to do list keeps growing faster than things I can get done and cross off.

Next week looks rather quiet for me so hoping I can get the rental house finished up. I am getting tired of it already. I hope I have found all the issues it has and can get professionals out there and get it fixed.

Still working on reminding myself to stay present to what is and not to allow myself to think about all the things that might happen in the future. When I stay present I know that all is well – right here – right now – all is well.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, grateful for assistance in finding cheaper medication, and grateful most of the things needed for the rental house have been taken care of.

This has felt like a busy day. This morning I cleaned up the house from the dinner I hosted last night. I had soaked the two crock pots overnight and needed to finish washing them and the rest of the dishes. I folded up the card tables and chairs and got them out of my way.

At noon I went downtown and paid my water bill and then went to a friend’s house for lunch. We had a planning meeting for a potential event in late December. Not sure we accomplished much as one of the people involved wasn’t there but it was good conversation with two dear friends.

At 4:00 another friend hosted a happy hour. I love gathering with like-minded women and sharing conversation and life. In these uncertain times, gathering with my community is appreciated and welcome. We talked about ways we can be in service to our community and help build connections with others.

Kathy and I came home from that gathering and we each took a dog and walked them. I will have to take them out one more time tonight before I go to bed. It is getting cold out again. I70 is closed west of Goodland tonight due to winter like conditions. Winter is coming and I am not ready.

Tomorrow I have to be in Topeka at 1:45 for a doctor’s appointment. I need to go to a hardware store and see if I can find some cheap blinds for the rental house windows. I ordered everything else I needed earlier this week and it all came in today.

Saturday and Sunday I hope to get lots more painting done at the rental house. Tagen is off and he has agreed to help me. Sure hoping we can knock out most of the painting this weekend. Not sure that will be possible but that is my goal.

Monday I have to go to Emporia for exercise. Hoping to get a stay at home day next Tuesday. Wednesday I have to meet a repair guy at the rental house in the morning. I am beginning to miss my quiet time at home.

It was good to take two days off from painting. I really don’t have a deadline to get the rental house done but I get tired of projects if they drag out too long. I think Phil went to the house today to put the ceiling fans up and install the vanity. I’m anxious to see how they look.

Five weeks from today the retreat Nicole and I are going to in Sedona, AZ starts. It will be fun to get away for a few days and spend some quality time with Nicole. We will be visiting some vortexes and doing lots of yoga. Looking forward to going somewhere warm.

It is time for me to get my Thanksgiving invitations out and figure out what I will be fixing and who all is coming. I am a bit limited on space this year so will have to figure things out early.

Ellexia sent me a text today and requested some Chex Mix. I haven’t made that for a long time. I usually make them a batch for Thanksgiving and again for Christmas. I told her next time I buy groceries I will get the stuff I need to make it and get it to her. I can’t make a huge batch now as I don’t have the oven space like I did before.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. I have given myself a break from the news for the next little bit. Reading about what might happen next year is not good for me right now. I am working hard at staying present and reminding myself that right now – right here – all is well. As and if things happen in the future I will deal with them then. I am working on finding some service projects for myself and spending my time loving on people and making connections. That feels like what I am to be doing right now.

Grateful for my tribe and the deep conversations I can have with them, grateful progress is being made on the rental house, and grateful this house is easy to clean.

I stayed up until midnight last night. I could only watch the broadcast for short bits. I was rather certain Harris lost early on and as the night progressed it looked more and more certain. I woke up at 5:30 and checked and found out my intuition was correct

I meditated for a bit and asked myself what did I need to help me regulate. I got up and sent an invitation to 10 friends to come over for soup and a meditation tonight at my house. Nine of us gathered and enjoyed conversation and two different kinds of soup and a dessert. We ended the evening with a meditation. It helped calm my soul. My house was blessed to host them. I needed connection today to my tribe and they came through for me.

The good news is I can comfortably sit at least 12 people for a meal in this house. If I used a long table I could push that up to 16. Yay! Now I know how many I can invite for Thanksgiving dinner. The bad news is I was reminded how small my kitchen is and how little counter space I have. It will be a challenge to prepare lots of dishes. I have to fix one thing, wash up the dishes and put them away and then move on to the next thing. It takes longer that way but it is the only way I can manage in this small space. I will give myself lots of extra time to get things made and it will be possible.

My next problem is I don’t have a double oven any more. I used to be able to put eight containers of food in the oven to warm up or to keep them warm. Now I can only do four. That one will take me a bit to figure out a solution to. I think I can! I think I can!

All day my mantra has been “Right here, right now, all is well!” I keep pulling myself back from going into anticipation of what might happen. It has been a bit of a roller coaster today of emotion. I am allowing myself to grieve and process the results of the election. When I can zoom out I understand what and why things happened the way they did. I had held out hope we collectively would choose the easier path but that is not the way it went down. My job now is to accept the world as it is and not as the way I wanted it to be. Once I move into acceptance I can then plan action for myself.

I took a short nap this afternoon. I didn’t get lots of good sleep last night and needed to rest for a bit. Luckily I only slept for about 15 – 20 minutes so I should be able to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow I have a meeting at 12:30 and then Friday I am going to Topeka. The weekend is free to get some painting done in town.

Phil came over this afternoon and painted the upper part of the porch. He still needs to spray the bottom lattice and then the porch project will be complete. Yay! Phil is going to the rental house tomorrow to install the ceiling fans and the vanity. I wanted him to put the new door lock on but it didn’t come in today. We will get that done another day.

I did run to Emporia this morning to pick up some groceries so I could make soup for dinner tonight. It still felt like a stay at home day though as I got up so early. I was home from town by 8:30 and had the rest of the day at home. I needed a quiet day at home today and having dear friends over for dinner made it a perfect day for me.

Now that the election is over it is time to start planning Thanksgiving and Christmas. If I had it my way, we would do Thanksgiving and skip December and Christmas all together. I do enjoy our Winter Solstice gathering and knowing the light is more each day. Christmas is my least favorite holiday.

Sitting in a better head space tonight thanks to my friends. I needed the reminder that all is well – right here – right now – all is well.

Grateful for friends who come for a last minute dinner invitation, grateful the soups turned out OK and grateful the more progress made on the front porch.

I left for Emporia a little after 8:00 this morning. I started painting on the woodwork in the master bedroom and then did the other bedroom.

The tree guy showed up as scheduled around 9:45. He found lots of work that needs to be done in addition to trimming the limbs hanging over the power lines. It is cheaper to have them only come once and do it all than to have to have them come back later. He won’t be able to get to the work for about two months but we are on his schedule.

I painted until about 11:30 and then came home. I decided to order new hardware for the kitchen cabinets. I found some on-line that were very reasonable. A fresh coat of paint on the cabinets and new hardware will really update the kitchen.

I haven’t turned on the election returns yet. Way too early for me to do that. I plan on staying up late tonight and seeing which way things are leaning. Bet there is a lot of stress drinking going on around the country tonight. It feels like it will be a real defining moment for the US and the world.

Tomorrow I am staying home. I haven’t had a stay at home day for a bit and I need one. If it is nice I will finish painting my part of the porch. I have some other to do things on my list that I want to take care of. I also need some time to refill myself and ground. I don’t do well out and about if I don’t get lots of private and quiet space.

Thursday I have a meeting that got moved from Matfield Green to Cottonwood Falls. It will be fun to visit with two dear friends and plan a December event.

Friday I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. I need to get some new blinds for the rental house and some house numbers for my new porch while I am in Topeka.

This weekend Tagen is off so we will be working on the house. He is getting anxious to move in and we need to get all the painting done. All the things I ordered for it are to be in this week so hoping we can get that all installed. Phil is to come install the ceiling fans and maybe help Tagen install the new front door lock and vanity for the bathroom.

I’m still feeling cautiously optimistic about the election results. It amazes me that it may be as close as the polls indicate. I also know that the winner will be the one that the universe in totality needs to move them to the correct path. It seems like there is an easy path and a hard one. Collectively we have taken the hard path before.

Grateful the election is over, grateful more painting got done today, grateful for a stay at home day tomorrow.