Starry night on the prairie

I seem to be stringing together a bunch of frustrating days. The new lead wires came in for my monitor. Hooked everything up and kept getting an error message. I called the company and they ran the troubleshooting thing and found out my monitor is defective. Really! I boxed it up to return it and they are to ship out a different one. They told me I will receive it tomorrow but I’m not counting on it. Not sure why this is turning into a chaotic mess.

Jim left for Stillwater around 2:00 this afternoon. After he left I went into Emporia and bought a new BBQ grill. Jason met me at the store and loaded it in the back of his pickup and brought it out to my house. I haven’t tried to use it yet. The lady that rang me up seemed confused. I needed a propane tank and told her what I wanted. She had trouble understanding I wanted the tank full of propane. She wanted to just sell me an empty tank. Not sure that would have done me much good.

Went out and mowed for 2 hours. Ran over some old pieces of tarp down by the chicken coop and it got stuck in the blades. I’ll have to jack up the mower so I can get it pulled out. Decided I will do that tomorrow – the way my day is going that task might not go well.

Finished up about 20 face masks this morning. I woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep so got up and sewed for a bit. Went back to bed around 7:30 and slept 2 more hours. At least by sewing the time between sleeps wasn’t wasted.

I have a haircut appointment tomorrow morning at 10:30. I have a list of errands I need to run while I am in town tomorrow. I was going to take care of some of them today but stopped to find a grill and since they had what I wanted I followed Jason home to help unload the grill and didn’t go do my errands. I didn’t want to make two trips to town today so decided to wait till tomorrow to do all of them. I need to get out and get the chicken coop cleaned out if I get up early enough to in the morning. I like to do it before it gets too hot.

Thursday I have to go to Topeka for my echocardiogram. My appointment is for 1:00 so will have to leave around 11:30. I have been putting the miles on my Forester lately. We are taking it to CO so will put lots of miles on it for that trip.

It is weird not having Jim here. We haven’t spent a night apart since last December. The house feels big and quiet to me tonight.

I need to get started cleaning the house sometime soon. Jim’s brother and his wife will be here Sunday afternoon and I need to be ready for them. I have the house open tonight and the dust is blowing in. It is to warm up tomorrow so will close it back up and start cleaning. Maybe it will stay clean for a couple of days. The dust has been thick lately. Rain is in the forecast so maybe we will get some and quiet the dust down a bit.

I’m glad I stayed home and didn’t go to Stillwater. I need to continue to ground myself and settle in here. I am looking forward to going to CO July 1 but at the same time I would be very happy to stay home for the month of July. I feel a bit scattered – like my body hasn’t all gotten here yet. I was hoping by mowing I would connect to the earth a bit and feel more here. Maybe cleaning out the chicken coop in the morning will help.

Grateful for Jason’s help with the BBQ grill today, grateful Jim had a safe trip to Stillwater, and grateful I am finally going to get my hair cut tomorrow.

It was another rough night of attempting sleep for me. I slept for about two hours and then was up for six hours. Finally feel asleep around 6:30 this morning and slept till almost noon. I hate nights like that.

My watch alarm went off four times telling me my heart rate had dropped below 45 and stayed below 45 for at least ten minutes. Sure wish I had on the monitor last night to capture that. The leads haven’t come in yet as promised. I got another robo call reminding me to hook up the monitor and start using it. I punched the number so it would transfer me to an actual person. He said they can’t stop the robo calls. He looked up the order for the missing leads and the package had gotten routed incorrectly by UPS. He said they hadn’t set a new delivery date yet.

Went into Cottonwood Falls to mail two packages of face masks and to cash a check. I remembered to get some quarters to take to CO so I can do laundry while we are there.

Worked on sewing face masks most of the afternoon. I fixed a box of 50 to send to Jim’s son David. David said he could use them to pass out at his needle exchange project. Still have over 100 masks cut out and waiting to be sewed together. That should keep me busy for a few more days.

Fixed chicken tenders for dinner. Jim had corn on the cob and I had green beans. Baked some banana bread this afternoon to use up two very ripe bananas. Jim enjoys eating it and I like making it. Need to get some cookies made to take to CO.

We went on a two mile walk this evening. Saw 4 or 5 deer, 1 rabbit and we helped a turtle cross the road. The wild flowers have been very plentiful this year. It was a pretty evening for a walk. We came home and sat out on the deck. I raked Sophia and got handfuls of fur off of her. The wind came up and cooled us down quickly. I had to come in as I was getting cold. There is a slight chance for some severe weather tonight but it may go around us.

Jim is headed to Stillwater tomorrow. He will probably leave a little after noon. I need to go into Emporia tomorrow afternoon and get four sacks of dog food and a new BBQ grill. Jason is going to meet me and bring it out and get it set up for me. I hope the store isn’t sold out of them.

I fixed Jim a bacon, egg and tomato sandwich for lunch today. The tomato came out of Jim’s garden. He said it was good. Store bought tomatoes just don’t have much flavor to them. We still have two more tomatoes to use up over the next day or two. I’m sure he will bring some more back with him when he comes back Thursday afternoon.

This hasn’t been a very productive day for me. When you don’t get up until noon the day goes by quickly though. I have several projects to work on but didn’t feel like doing much today. I hope to get out to the chicken coop tomorrow and get it cleaned out. I really would like to get that done before we leave for CO.

Jim’s brother and his wife are coming by Sunday evening and spending the night. They are headed out to CO and stay at the same camp we will be staying at. It will be fun to have them here for the night. It means a lot to Jim that they will drive out of their way to drop down and see us. Jim wants them to see his new living space.

It will be weird to have Jim gone for two nights. We haven’t spent a night apart since last December. Maybe I will get some things done while he is gone though. I really need to get some cleaning and painting done.

The energy in the world is plain ass crazy right now. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster trying to make sense out of all of it. I see some positive things starting to happen but there are some dark things happening too. I must say the best thing about Trump being president is the dark stuff has come forward for us to deal with. It is hard to see the denial and fear that comes with it. Someday we will look back on these days and have a different perspective about what is all happening. I keep reminding myself to stay grounded and not get pulled into the muck. Not always successful though.

Grateful for my second sleep although it came later than I would have liked, grateful for the beauty we saw on our walk tonight, and grateful it is almost bedtime.

This has been a recovery day for me. I woke up at 6:00 this morning after sleeping six hours straight. That is a lot of sleep for me. By 7:45 I was headed into Emporia to pick up some groceries. Walmart was not crowded so I took my time and got some things off my list of non-urgent things. I filled my cart full today. Took me a while when I got home to get everything carried in and put away.

We listened to church and had technical issues. We could barely hear the service on Facebook so switched to the radio broadcast. It cut out during the sermon. Went back to Facebook but I gave up as it was too hard to hear.

I had lunch and then took a long, afternoon’s nap. I slept for over two hours this afternoon. Trusting I will be able to sleep tonight.

Grilled hamburgers on the George Foreman grill and fixed Jim corn on the cob. I had some broccoli with my burger. Simple dinner tonight was all I could handle.

I have been working on making more face masks. Got all the ribbon sewed together and the first seam done in the big stack of masks. I have the first bunch pinned and am starting to actually finish some. It takes a bit to get to this point but they go together pretty quickly once I get there.

I am cranky this evening. I picked up some energy that isn’t mine to keep and need to discharge it. It feels thick and heavy to me. I need to go for a walk and let it go but am having trouble getting out the door to do so. Maybe I’ll get there yet – then again maybe not.

Need to run to the bank and post office tomorrow in Cottonwood Falls. May have enough recycling to take a load. I need to start cleaning house and making my packing list for our CO trip. July 1 will be here soon.

The weather feels like it could build into a big storm tonight. We had some rain forecast earlier but it has been removed from the forecast. The air is thick and heavy and the sky is getting darker. The system may go to the northeast of us and miss us.

Hoping the lead wires to my heart monitor will come in tomorrow so can start that process. I got a recorded call today reminding me I needed to start the monitoring process. I sure would if I could. My heart rate has ranged from 42 to 165 today with an average resting rate of 44. Maybe that is why I feel a bit sluggish tonight.

May take some time tonight and write a few letters. I did good writing them until June 1 and have slacked off since. I enjoy writing them and I need to do something fun tonight. Wish the Crisis Text Line needed help tonight but last I checked they had way more counselors than texters. When it isn’t my scheduled shift I don’t like to hop on and take calls away from those that are scheduled to work.

Have a quiet week planned. Will do some cleaning, sewing and preparing the chicken coop. Jim is going to Stillwater Tuesday so I will have a couple days to myself. As cranky as I am tonight I bet he wished he was going tonight.

Grateful for a recovery day, grateful for a long nap, and grateful for Jim’s sewing machine that has sewn miles lately.

What a beautiful day full of love, family and friends. Nicole and Geoff were married in their back yard in a beautiful, moving ceremony. It was perfect in so many ways. It was wonderful having all three of my kids together along with their partners and the two grandchildren.

It is so nice to see Nicole happy. She found a wonderful man and he fits right in with our family. I spent time talking to his parents today and enjoyed our conversation. I loved seeing Nicole’s friends again – they call me Mom.

The photographer took some family pictures. I hope they turn out good. I had been looking forward to having family pictures taken at our wedding in March and that didn’t happen.

The drive to KC and back was easy and smooth. Not much traffic to speak of although the Johnson County drivers are not very driver friendly.

Looking forward to tomorrow and Monday when we get to stay home and relax. I do need to run into Emporia and get some groceries but that won’t take long. After that is done I can stay hidden on my house on the prairie. Jim is going to Stillwater Tuesday but I am staying here. I need to do some cleaning, painting and mowing. I also need to get the chicken coop cleaned out really good. I want to get baby chickens as soon as we get home from CO the end of July and want the coop ready for them.

I’m tired tonight. I didn’t fall asleep until after 6:00 this morning. Not sure why I could not sleep last night. I even got up and took another bath and even that didn’t work. Maybe tonight will be the night that I lay down and go right to sleep and sleep through the night. I am way overdue for a good night’s sleep.

The weather held out today and was warm but no rain. It was a bit weird at first being in a house with 32 other people in it. Haven’t been around that many people for several months. We spent lots of time outside though and everyone was practicing safe habits. I took some face masks but we ended up not wearing them. I will admit I broke the rules and gave lots of hugs today. Sometimes a mom just needs a hug!

Grateful for gaining a new son-in-love today, grateful for a beautiful bride, and grateful to have had my whole family together today.

It has been a wild day today. We got on the road to come to KS around noon and arrived around 3:00. It had started raining in Stillwater this morning around 7:00 and rained all morning. I got soaked loading the last few things in the car.

Since it was raining this morning I didn’t get to go out and finish painting the last section on the west side of the house. Jim had worked after dark last night getting it ready to paint. It will have to wait for a dry day.

Jim is going to have to go back to Stillwater next week as he didn’t get the soaker hose set up before we left. He ran out of time. We had a full car full and he didn’t get to bring everything he wanted to bring with him so now he will get another chance to fill the car again. I plan on staying in KS when he goes to OK for a few days next week. I need to have some time in KS before we go to CO the following week for four weeks.

When we got home I discovered the heart monitor the doctor wants me to wear had been shipped to me. I opened it up and attempted to get hooked up. It is missing the lead wires that attached to the machine. When I called the company to tell them the guy said that had never happened before. He acted like he didn’t believe me they were missing. I had put the batteries in the monitor and it started beeping. He told me I was wasting the batteries. Duh! Not impressed with their service today. He is to mail me some lead wires and I am to have them by Monday supposedly. We will see if they get here then.

I’ve been putting things away and going through my mail. It feels like it has been a very busy day. We were kinda rushing around this morning so we could get gone by noon. Once Jim realized he was going to have to come back next week we quit gathering more stuff up and we left. He will have a long list of things to bring with him when he comes back next week. We won’t be back to Stillwater for six to eight weeks after he goes next week.

It always takes me a few days to adjust to where I am at when we change houses. I’ll only have eleven days here and then we go to CO for four weeks. I think I am craving some boredom and staying in one place for a long time.

The animals all look like they were well cared for. We haven’t seen Tony yet but I’m sure he will show up this evening. The house sitter had enjoyed her quiet time on the prairie. She wants to come back and stay again some time soon. That’s always a good sign that things went well for her.

Tomorrow afternoon we need to head to KC around 2:15. We probably won’t be home until after 11:00 or so. It will be so fun to see all three kids and their families at the wedding tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it even though I have to dress up a bit. We are having some family pictures taken which I am excited about. It has been a long time since we had professional pictures taken.

I made another batch of ham salad when we got home. I happened to have the ingredients on hand to make it and it makes a good snack. Not sure what I am fixing for dinner but I’ll come up with something. Jim is taking a nap as he didn’t get much sleep last night and had to drive today. I may take one too although I would rather stay up and go to bed early. I am always afraid if I take a nap I won’t sleep at night.

I’m glad we are out of OK for this weekend. The big Trump rally is in Tulsa tomorrow night. Sounds like there may be some trouble with the conflicting crowds that are expected. OK case counts have been jumping and I am afraid of the fall out of 19,000 people unmasked in a indoor arena. Wish they could have moved it to an outside venue. People have been camping out to get tickets for the last 48 hours already. The timing was good for us to leave the state and then to stay away for six to eight weeks.

Don’t have anything on my calendar for Sunday or Monday. It will be good to have a few days to stay home and relax. We will be tired on Sunday after our big day tomorrow. Jim is going to Stillwater Tuesday so I will have a couple of really quiet days here while he is gone. Need to get the chicken coop cleaned out and I want to start doing some deck painting again. Rain is in the forecast so not sure what I might get done outside.

Feeling a bit cranky this afternoon. I am such a nester that going back and forth challenges me sometimes. It will be good to be here for 11 days and reclaim the house again. Maybe after July we can stay here for longer periods of time and I can get settled in again.

Grateful for a safe journey home today, grateful the animals and house are in such great shape, and grateful for the prairie view this afternoon.

And just like that it is Thursday and we will be returning to KS tomorrow. The week here in Stillwater went by very quickly. We didn’t get as much done as I had hoped we would but that is OK. The work seems to wait for us.

Finished mowing the yard this morning. It always looks so nice when it is all mowed up. The mowing was a bit harder this time as it is so dry there were places where I couldn’t tell where I had mowed. The cottonwood cotton was a pain to mow through as it blew up and went up my nose.

Jim is almost finished taking the shingles off and scraping another section on the west side of the house. When he gets done I will get it painted tonight. The west side is almost done. He has one little section to do but doubt he will get to it this time. We still have to do the east side of the house and above the front porch and back deck but the house is looking much nicer.

I took three calls on the Hot Line last night. The last one was very rewarding for me. I had one call where my internet had a hiccup and I got disconnected from my texter. When that happens the call gets transferred to someone else. I got signed back on and they transferred the call back to me. Even though the person that received the call didn’t respond to the texter I only get partial credit for handling the call. Oh well, we got the person to a calmer state.

I have another shift tonight at 10:00 pm. We have so many counselors right now that I end up waiting about an hour before I have someone to text with. I have been signing on early so I can get in line so I will get texters. I’m grateful the texters don’t have to wait but it is kinda frustrating to have to waste an hour of my time waiting on someone to help.

I have the car partially loaded for tomorrow. Jim still has a bunch of stuff to pull out he wants to take. Don’t think we will have room for all he wants to take so will have to prioritize what we do take. We need to take our mountain stuff in case he doesn’t get back down here next week. We told our house sitter we would try to be in KS by 3:00 but I will be surprised if we make that time frame. Jim tends to run a bit behind when it comes to leaving his house here.

We are having left overs for dinner tonight so I can clean out the refrigerator. Still have some ham loaf left over from earlier this week. We will have to take a refrigerator bag and clean out the refrigerator tomorrow before we leave as we may not be back until the second week of August.

It is another hot summer day in Stillwater with the temperatures in the mid 90’s. Rain is in the forecast for the next seven days so maybe it will cool down a bit. Trusting it won’t rain on Nicole’s outdoor wedding Saturday afternoon. They have an indoor back-up plan if needed. So looking forward to seeing all of my family in one place for the first time since Christmas.

Feeling better again today. My heart has not dropped below 45 today so far. It got to racing a bit while I was mowing but it settled back down when I came in and cooled off. Starting to think it was all thyroid related and my medication level must be leveling out as I am feeling better and the heart is calming down.

Feeling a bit down and sad today. Thinking it is all the chaos in the world that I am feeling and holding on to today. We certainly are starting to feel like we are at a tipping point in our society. I pray it tips the way I feel it should and things start to get rebuilt in a better way that works for all. I keep having the feeling it is going to get a lot worse before it gets better though. I hope I am wrong.

Grateful the yard is mowed, grateful the house painting project is progressing, and grateful we are returning to the prairie tomorrow.

Got the back yard mowed today. Did the first part of it around noon and finished up the last part of it after dinner tonight. Still need to mow the front yard and then mowing will be done.

We went to Lowe’s to look for a BBQ for KS. Service was horrible at that store today. The first person to help us just pointed at the grills and left. The second guy said that is an expensive grill and then left. Finally the third person showed us the grill that we wanted to see that was in a box. I was done by then and we left without one. Thinking I will get a bigger one when we get to KS.

Jim looked at five different stores for some soaker hose. He never did find what he was looking for. Came home and found some in his shop! He will get it all set up with a timer tomorrow sometime.

He is outside now taking more shingles off the west side of the house. Hoping he gets it done tonight and gets the side washed down so I can get it painted tomorrow morning before it gets hot. I would love to get the west side of the house finished before we go back to KS Friday afternoon.

I have a shift on the Crisis Text Hot Line tonight. I’ll sign on at 9:00 so I can have a texter by 10:00. My shift will last to midnight and I hope to get two if not three texters to chat with during my shift.

I took a nap this afternoon. I didn’t sleep well again last night. Getting tired of this cycle I seem to be in. Sure wish I understood what helps me sleep and why I don’t sleep. Can’t seem to pin point what works and what doesn’t.

We have started loading up the car of things to take this time to KS. Jim needs to gather all his CO gear as he might not be back down before we leave for CO July 1. He might end up coming next week but we will see. We will have another full load to take to KS this time. I think he has decided not to take his Mazda as he wants to leave a car in the driveway so the house doesn’t look deserted.

I got a small paint brush so I can start painting the trim on the house. When Jim pulled off the shingles the sides of the windows became exposed and need painting. That will be detailed painting and I will be able to do it better with a small brush. Not sure I will get that done this time but maybe in August I can get to that.

Fixed brats on the grill for dinner tonight. We had left over scalloped potatoes that we ate with the brats. Not my favorite meal of the week but it fed us and it was quick and easy. Not sure what I will come up with for tomorrow night.

We will need to clean out the refrigerator before we leave Friday. We might not be back here for two months. Not sure that thought has hit Jim yet.

No sustaining low heart rate today again. It did drop to 40 a couple of times but didn’t stay there long. That is good! I jumped to 180 at one point today when I was mowing. It calms back down when I stop mowing and cool down.

One more full day here and then we head for the prairie. As expected this time here has gone by quickly. I sure didn’t get as much work done this week as I had hoped I would. Guess every little bit helps but we need big progress to get this project completed. Maybe that isn’t the point anymore! It will be nice to get back to the prairie.

Grateful the back yard is mowed, grateful to be in service tonight on the Hot Line, and grateful it cools down in the evenings.

I got a little painting done today outside. It felt good to make a bit more progress on the house today. We didn’t get much done yesterday. Jim worked this afternoon on removing more shingles. He still has more to do before I have another space to paint. If I get up in the morning early enough I have one more area I can paint until Jim gets the next area ready.

I didn’t sleep more than two hours last night so took a nap this afternoon. I miss being able to sleep most of the night. I had gotten into a space where I was sleeping six hours a night – I miss that! I can never figure out what causes me to sleep and what prevents me from doing so.

I fixed tacos for dinner tonight. They are so easy I almost feel guilty fixing them so often. They are one of Jim’s favorites and he never complains when I fix them. I turn them into a taco salad – not one of my favorites but they are so easy I fix them often.

It was hot again in Stillwater today. Mid 90’s is too hot for me! I had to quit painting earlier than I wanted to as I got too hot. Hoping I get up earlier tomorrow so I can get out before 10:00 and be able to paint for at least an hour before it gets so hot.

I wrote my Aunt Jeannie a long letter today and fixed a package with some face masks to mail to her tomorrow. It brought back lots of childhood memories. She and my dad’s brother were divorced years ago but she still feels like an Aunt to me.

Spent some time on the Crisis Text Hot Line Platform today looking at the referrals we have that we can send to our texters. Sent the supervisor a note asking a question and got a clarification on something I needed help with. There is a lot of chaos going on amongst the paid staff on the hot line. The President of the company was fired last week for racism and it broke open a big can of worms. I was disappointed to hear about all of that. For now I am going to continue to volunteer but will need to stay on top of what is happening and may decide not to continue.

This week in Stillwater is going fast. We only have two more full days before we return to the prairie. We haven’t gotten much done this week but that’s OK. Somehow the work waits for us.

Jim had someone come by and give him a bid for a garage door. He ordered a door but it won’t be installed until we get back from CO. One more big thing that will be taken off his list. We are making progress – just seems like our to-do list is still rather long.

I’m getting excited for Nicole’s wedding this weekend. It will be good to have my family all together again. We haven’t been together since Christmas. Hoping we get some good family photos taken.

My heart has not dropped below 51 for 48 hours. Sure wish I could understand what causes it to do so and why sometimes it doesn’t. I have had the opposite problem the last two days in that it starts racing for no reason now. All of a sudden it will jump to 130 with no reason. Talk about riding a roller coaster! Stop! I want off!

Grateful some painting got done today, grateful for afternoon naps after a night of little sleep, and grateful for this time in Stillwater.

This has been an interesting day. Neither one of us had much energy or much motivation to do anything again today. I think we have taken this relaxing thing too far and can’t seem to get back into the mode of actually getting stuff done.

Jim did make lots of phone calls today to change his mailing address. The modern technology makes this process very hard. The address in Strong City is 2374B V Road. People have a hard time getting that right.

I got the pieces I had cut out To make face masks pressed and put together ready to sew. I have about 100 more face masks to sew up when I get home later this week. That should keep me out of trouble for a bit.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things and mail a package of face masks to a friend. The line to get the package mailed was long but I didn’t want to go to the Post Office so I stuck it out and got it on its way.

I made a ham loaf for dinner tonight. It was good – I prefer meat loaf to ham loaf but Jim likes ham loaf better. Have lots of left overs though so will have to eat it a couple more meals this week.

Jim and I both have heavy hearts tonight with all the social unrest that is happening. We both trust that major change will happen as a result of all of this – change that is long overdue. Jim has an interesting perspective as he taught at a historical black college for over 30 years. He is helping educate me about racial relations and racism.

The racism unrest has hit the Crisis Text Hotline I volunteer for. The founder and CEO was fired last week due to her racist practices. The staff are sad, angry and unsettled. They have a network where the staff and volunteers can communicate and post notes to each other. I have been reading some of them to try to understand what is going on. Some volunteers have quit, some are thinking about it, and others want to stay on. It is hard to know what the right thing to do is. I will watch what happens in the coming days before I decide what to do. I don’t want to stay on if that is interrupted as consent to the racist practices that evidently have been happening. I am too new to know who to listen to and who has a perspective that might be helpful to me in making my decision. For now, I will do my shifts and focus on why I am there – to help ease the load of an individual texter.

I can feel the heavy energy of the world tonight. My pulse rate has gone from 40 to as high as 150 today. It jumped big time while I was at the grocery store. Earlier this morning I got an alarm that it had stayed below 45 for over 10 minutes. Maybe my heart is feeling the chaos in the world right now and jumping around trying to find a “new” normal.

Grateful we were able to take another quiet day, grateful for the brave voices of those speaking out about racism, and grateful change is happening.

A relaxing day today. Didn’t get much done. I did get all the flannel and sheets cut into pieces so I can make more masks when I get back to KS. Still need to press them so they will be ready to put together.

Jim had gotten two big packages of ham pieces at the grocery store yesterday. One package was butt ends and the other was odd pieces of sliced ham. We worked over an hour getting them put into smaller packages to put into the freezer. We made ham salad with some of the smallest pieces. Hadn’t had ham salad for a long time and it is really good. We have some extra ground ham so will fix a ham loaf for dinner tomorrow night.

I was going to fix scalloped potatoes with ham for dinner tonight. I fixed scalloped potatoes but forgot to put the ham in it. Sometimes I wonder about myself! I thought the pan was not full enough but couldn’t figure out what I had forgotten.

It reached the mid 90’s here today. I stayed inside Mose of the day. We will go take our walk when it cools down a bit. I don’t do well in this hot of weather.

We only walked one mile last night. We waited until dark before we walked as it was hot yesterday too. We need to walk longer than that tonight.

I have had a day where I wanted to eat all day long. I finally am stuffed and will probably have reflux later. Sure wish I knew what caused those types of days. I used to be able to not eat between meals but not today.

I got an alarm on my phone that my heart rate had dropped below 45 and stayed there for at least 10 minutes this morning. I hadn’t been up too long when that happened. I’m tracking it on my calendar now so I can report to my Cardiologist when it happens. Can’t seem to find a consistent pattern when it happens.

Finally got hold of someone at Best Buy. They called me back after about an hour and the guy was able to take care of the exchange paperwork. The new replacement oven won’t be delivered until August 7. This has been the longest process as I ordered the new oven way back in February. I’ll be glad when this project gets crossed off my to-do list.

I didn’t sleep very good last night. I would sleep for an hour or so then be up for an hour or so and repeated that all night long. Makes for a long night when that happens.

We don’t have any big plans for tomorrow. Jim has some phone calls to make to get some workers to the house this week. He also has a shopping list he wants to take care of. If I get up early enough I’ll go out and paint in the morning. It might wait until later in the week though.

Oklahoma has seen lots of new Covid-19 cases. Stillwater has more now than they have had during the whole time. I don’t think this crisis is going to go away very soon. It is getting hard for me to remember to continue to take precautions when I am out and about. I trust I won’t drop my guard too low and get sick. Jim is much better at taking precautions than I am. We both wear masks when we go into a public building. We still limit where we go and how often we go out. Not sure when I might feel comfortable going to a restaurant or being in a crowd inside.

We both are missing the cats. I have gone to the back room twice today to check on Katie and thought I heard Tony at the door earlier today. Got a text from the house sitter that all the critters are doing well back home and all seem to be playing nice in our absence.

Grateful the flannel and sheet pieces are cut, grateful I was able to get hold of Best Buy today, and grateful for a day of rest and relaxation.

We are back in Stillwater for a week. The drive was uneventful and smooth. We left Strong City around 12:30 and got to Stillwater around 3:30.

The house sitter for the week showed up around noon. We introduced her to most of the cats and dogs. Ellie and Bell were MIA but she met the others. She brought a dog with her so she will have plenty of company and lots of critters to love on.

I was surprised that Jim’s mailbox was full when we got here. We had both Put in orders to forward the mail to Strong City. I had two hand written letters to read! Hoping the USPS gets their act together and gets things forwarded as we requested.

Jim went out and got groceries after we got home and the car unloaded. It is so hard to know what we have at each house. He got some hamburger and we grilled hamburgers for dinner. Simple and fast which was what we both needed tonight.

I unpacked my suitcase and realized I forgot to bring underwear. I thought I had left some here. Had to make an emergency run to Walmart to get some. Got some more flannel material while I was there. When I bought sheets to make face masks I had to get a set of sheets instead of just the top sheet. I have two fitted sheets to cut into rectangles to make more masks and needed more flannel. I didn’t bring the sewing machine but I will get everything cut into pieces and pressed.

I called Best Buy to try to get the oven exchanged. It took five minutes before I got to the point of leaving my phone number for them to call me back when it is my turn. They called me back an hour later and for some reason the call immediately got disconnected as soon as I told the lady my name. I had to call back and get back in line but this time it didn’t give me the option of getting a call back. They wanted me to wait 1 hour and 30 minutes and listen to their music and automated messages. I hung up and tried again an hour later and the same thing happened. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Last night my smart watch went off as my heart rate was under 45 for over 10 minutes. I had woken up before it went off and didn’t feel right. I got up and sat in the living room. I finally felt better after a bit. Sure wish I had the monitor on when that happened. I’m afraid when I get the monitor I won’t have one of these spells. My heart rate has stayed above 45 all day – in fact it has been over 50 most of the day.

It is strange being here with no cats underfoot. I keep thinking I hear Tony scratching at the door to come in. I have gone to the back room to check on Katie twice before I remembered that she is in Strong City. Jim will be glad to get back to his cats in a week.

I finally remembered to order a pair of sandals to wear to Nicole’s wedding a week from today. She has hired a professional photographer and we are going to have some family pictures taken. I have a dress to wear but didn’t have any shoes to go with it. It is going to be hot so I ordered fancy flip flops. That way I won’t be tempted to wear hose.

While I was at Walmart I picked up a skein of baby yarn in case I want to knit this week since I don’t have my sewing machine. I did bring knitting needles so I won’t go completely crazy not doing something.

Feeling a bit tired tonight. I was up for over an hour in the middle of the night last night. I should have taken a nap on the way down here today but didn’t. Maybe I’ll sleep tonight. Not sure why I have been taking so many naps lately but my body seems to need it for some reason. If I have nothing else to do I might as well honor that.

Grateful for a safe journey to Stillwater today, grateful my heart rate has stayed up today, and grateful underwear is easily purchased.

We are still on the prairie.  The house sitter that is coming to stay for a week had something she wanted to do tomorrow morning before she came.  We decided to stay one more night.  I was tired when I got back from my drive to Topeka this afternoon.  This way I didn’t have to be on the road for five hours today.

I got to Topeka at 12:30 for my 1:00 appointment.  They called me back at 1:05 and I was done by 1:10.  The girl that did my ultrasound did a quick job today.  It didn’t feel like she did a thorough job but maybe she was just fast at what she does.  I was home by 2:20.  Seems like a long trip for a five minute appointment.

Called Best Buy to see if I could arrange an exchange for my oven that is too small.  The delivery guys yesterday still haven’t completed the paper work so the main office for Best Buy can’t do anything yet.  I had called them last night and waited for over an hour to talk to someone to be told to call today.  I waited over an hour again today to talk to someone to be told to call tomorrow.  Trusting tomorrow will be the magic day.  Third time is a charm – right?

Called the A/C people.  My A/C is struggling to keep the house cool.  They haven’t been out to do their annual check of the system yet.  When I talked to them today they said they got a late start on their annual checks due to Covid-19.  Then the heat wave hit and they have been busy doing emergency service calls.  They have me on the list to come out and check the unit out.  It isn’t an emergency as the house is cooling – just not as cool and as efficiently as it should be.

This house was not vented properly when it was built.  There are rooms in the house that are ice cold and other rooms that are barely cool at all.  It drives Jim a bit crazy.  I have talked to the service guys before about it and they said I would have to have all new venting installed to fix the problem which means cutting through lots of walls.  We may try to find an expert to come check it out and see what they recommend.  We also need to fix the hot water problem.  It takes a long time to get hot water for the kitchen sink and showers.  I had turned off the system they used that provided instant hot water as it used way too much propane.  I think we need a on demand hot water heater on the main floor.  Maybe I’ll put that on my wish list for next year.

I fell asleep in my chair again this afternoon.  I don’t know why I have been so tired lately.  I slept fairly well last night.  Have felt sleepy and a bit cranky all day.  The good news is my heart rate hasn’t dropped below 44 for 24 hours.  Maybe I scared it into behaving when I went to the Cardiologist.

Took two calls on the Crisis Hot Line last night.  Both calls felt incomplete to me.  The first one felt more like a prank caller than a person in crisis and the other one disengaged fairly quickly after we started.  I always wonder if I said something wrong to make them pull away.  The only hard part of doing this type of work is the not knowing what is really going on with the texter and what the rest of their story is.  I can only hope I do more good than harm.

We added some distance to our walk last night and ended up going 2 3/4 miles.  We will try for 3 miles tonight.  I always resist getting going but always enjoy our walk once I get out and get started.  We saw lots of deer last night feeding in the fields.  They are so fun to watch run through the fields.

We will drive to Stillwater late morning tomorrow.  I still need to pack some things to take.  We plan on staying for a week.  I thought I might have to come back early for doctor appointments but two of the three appointments are now scheduled for late June and early August.  I still need the heart monitor people to call me and let me know when I can get hooked up for that.  If they call me next week and can get me started I’ll have to come back early.  We plan on bringing two cars back so I can come home early if needed.

I was surprised the earliest stress test appointment they had available was late July.  I decided to push it off one more week and not have to come home from CO early.  Good thing it isn’t an emergency!  I have my echo on June 25.

I have felt a bit on edge all day today.  Not sure what is behind that.  It has been a hard day for me to find my center and relax.  I’m glad I got a bit of a nap in my chair.  I feel a bit better this evening but still have some heavy energy hanging around.  It probably is some energy I picked up that isn’t mine.  When we walk tonight I’ll see if I can get rid of it.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka today, grateful for another night on the prairie, and grateful for the beauty we see on our walks each evening.

Happy anniversary to mom and dad. They have been married for 72 years today. I trust they are celebrating on the other side. I sure miss them.

I went to the Cardiologist this afternoon. He isn’t sure what is going on so ordered a bunch of tests to be done. They did an EKG today and it didn’t show anything strange. The Heart Center in Topeka is to call me soon to get them all scheduled. He wants me to wear a monitor for at least two weeks so it can capture one of my episodes. I have to do the nuclear exercise treadmill stress test and a Echocardiogram. He said he has some ideas what is going on but he needs facts before he can come up with a treatment plan. He did tell me not to take the Beta Blocker for now.

The last time I had the stress test done it was done in Emporia. The Cardiologist wasn’t impressed then with how they did it and asked if I would drive to Topeka this time. I’m hoping the three things can be taken care of in one visit but we shall see. Not sure when they might be calling me to get things scheduled. As of now I am still planning on going to Stillwater tomorrow but we decided to take two cars so I can come home early if needed. I have to go to Topeka tomorrow for my thyroid ultrasound – it would be nice if some of this could happen then but not counting on it.

The bug guys came today to spray for wood bees. They also sprayed inside the house as they hadn’t sprayed for a long time. It will be nice to sit on the deck and not get dive bombed by wood bees.

The new wall oven finally got here today. It is the wrong size! Damn it! I have a call into Best Buy to see what my options are. They went ahead and hooked it up and he told me I could use it. Not sure why they would take it back if I use it but I trust him I guess. There is a 45 minute wait for the help desk and they are to call me when it is my turn.

It was nice sleeping with the windows open last night. It got down to the low 60’s and it was nice and cool. It has warmed up today to almost 90 but so far we have left the A/C off. We will turn it back on tomorrow before we leave.

I handled three calls last night on the Crisis Text Hotline. Had to get my Supervisor involved with one as it was a mandatory reporting type of case. I never know what the final outcome of those cases are. The other two were routine calls that were fairly easy to handle. It amazes me how their system works to help get people calmed down. I don’t panic now when I get a person that is suicidal. I do worry that I will miss something and not react enough but I can only deal with the information the client gives me. I have another shift tonight.

I need to finish getting the house cleaned for the house sitter that is coming to stay while we are in Stillwater. I warned her that my schedule may change and I might have to be here part of the time. I’ll see when my appointments get scheduled and go from there.

Grateful for a caring Cardiologist who is curious, grateful the wood bees are gone, and grateful for the cool sleeping weather last night.

Talk about a lazy day. I fell asleep twice in my corner chair today. Once I slept for about 20 minutes and the next time for over an hour. Not sure why I feel so tired today as I actually got some sleep last night.

I cleaned the light fixtures in the kitchen and dining room. To do so I have to get my heavy step stool and put it on the kitchen island. Jim came in the kitchen while I was doing that and about had a fit. Sometimes he tries to treat me like a china doll. He needs to get over that!

Fixed chicken tenders with Marinara sauce for dinner tonight. Easy and quick dinner. That is what I used to eat every night of the week.

Tomorrow will be a busy day. The new oven is to be installed early afternoon. The exterminator is coming at 1:00 to get rid of the wood bees. I have a Cardiologist appointment at 3:00. Good thing Jim is here so he can cover part of it while I am at the doctor. I need to remember to move my car down to the barn before people start showing up so I can get out on time.

I have a volunteer shift tonight on the Crisis Text Hot Line. We are over staffed again tonight so will spend more time waiting to get a text than I will actually have a convo with someone. My shift doesn’t end until midnight so I guess it is a good thing I took a nap in my chair today.

Neither one of us got much done again today. We have both been very lazy since we have been back to KS. Hoping next time we come back we will get motivated and get some things done. The deck still needs finishing. I have a list of other things that need done too. Good thing nothing is urgent and it all can patiently wait for us to get to it.

My heart rate has done better today. It did fall to 33 while I was napping this afternoon but didn’t stay there. My smart watch has an alarm on it that goes off it my rate drops below 45 and stays there for 10 miinutes. The alarm didn’t go off today so I know it didn’t stay that low for long. My average resting rate today was 45. Sure am trusting the doctor can figure out what is going on and help me get this fixed.

The wind blew hard most of the night. I am guessing we had some wind gusts of up to 70MPH last night with sustained winds of 55. We opened the windows and enjoyed the coolness of the night. The sound of the wind can drive one to drink though. We left the house open today. I much prefer the house open than to have the A/C on. It is a beautiful evening out tonight. We took a 2 1/2 mile walk. Perfect temperature in the mid 70’s and a light breeze. The sunset tonight is a plain Jane one but beautiful.

Grateful for naps in my chair, grateful for a long walk tonight, and grateful the light fixtures are clean.

The wind is in a big hurry tonight. It is blowing around 30 mph now and is forecast to possibly get up to 70 mph before the night is over. Better button down the hatches. Trusting we won’t have any wind damage tonight.

Have had a slow and easy day today. I made up the beds downstairs and swept all the floors downstairs. Still need to dust and clean the bathrooms but am almost done. Still have the main floor to finish up tomorrow.

Jim went into Emporia this afternoon to get a few things he needed. Luckily he got home before the wind picked up. I’m grateful I have a bigger car now instead of the little Prius. I wouldn’t want to be driving this evening even in my bigger car.

We are to get some rain and possible strong storms this evening. The wind is blowing something in. My feet have ached all day.

We have a free day tomorrow. We sure haven’t gotten much done on our list this trip. I think we both needed a week of decompressing and resting. With all the chaos in the world it is easy to get ungrounded and disconnected. A part of me wishes we didn’t have to go back to Stillwater this week. We are just getting into the rhythm of the prairie.

Thursday will be a busy day. The new oven is being installed, the guy is coming to spray for the wood bees and I have an appointment with the Cardiologist. Friday I go to Topeka for my Ultrasound and then we drive to Stillwater.

My friend came and got six chickens last night. She will be back tonight for the last five. I picked up my last two eggs this afternoon. I will be sad to see the last chickens go away and will miss them until I can get some again in August. Tomorrow I need to get the coop cleaned out if the wind lets up.

I grilled hamburgers for dinner tonight. Seems like we have plain hamburgers several times a week. We both like them and they are easy to fix. Now to decide what to fix tomorrow night. I’m trying to get the freezer cleaned out in preparation for the beef that is coming in July. I have a turkey I need to fix when I come home after Stillwater and before we go to CO in July.

My heart rate has been between 45 – 50 most of the day. I’m glad it didn’t drop to 40 as the nurse advised me to go to ED if it did. I didn’t feel good for about 15 minutes earlier today. Hard to describe what I felt like. My heart starts racing and I almost feel sick to my stomach. I get hot and tired. About the time I think maybe I better do something it goes away. I’m grateful the Cardiologist had an appointment available this week. I’m still thinking most of this is related to my thyroid levels being off and trust the heart issues are temporary and will go away when my thyroid levels get straightened out.

Grateful for a quiet day on the prairie, grateful the basement is almost all cleaned, and grateful for all the eggs my chickens provided me while I had them.

This has turned into a recovery day for me. I haven’t done much. Did make a few phone calls this morning. The guys that need to fix my stack on the barn put me off until the heat wave ends. I left messages with both the Endocrinologist and my family doctor. I can’t make phone calls everyday so guess I accomplish something by doing that today.

I made an appointment with my Cardiologist for this Thursday. He comes to Emporia sometimes and they happened to have had a cancellation. That will save me a trip to Topeka. The nurse was surprised my doctor hadn’t done a EKG when I went in last week. I told her I was too. She recommended I stop the new medication and wait until Thursday to see what the Doctor recommends then. I agreed with her. She did tell me to go to the ED if my heart rate drops to 40 again and stays there for longer than a few minutes.

The Endocrinologist sent a message and then her nurse called. I got conflicting advice from them. The Doctor told me to skip one dose a week and have my levels rechecked in two months. The nurse told me to keep everything the same although the nurse did say I was very close to being way too low. I think I will follow what the doctor sent in her note.

I had sent a note to my doctor the morning after I had such low heart rates overnight. He told me to take half of a pill and to see what happens and to come back in if I continue to have low rates. I don’t think I will try that.

Jim and I went into Emporia this afternoon. We went to Staples and got two new chairs for our study. I also got a new keyboard and mouse. I don’t like the one that came with my computer. I am doing much better on a bigger keyboard and a mouse that has a visable wheel. We rearranged the study a bit and I now have a better work space. I don’t spend a lot of time on my computer in the study but I need good work space when I do my volunteer hours. Jim is going to build us each a desk sometime soon.

I laid down for a bit when we got home. I didn’t sleep well again last night. I never fell asleep this afternoon but it felt good to lay down and rest for a bit.

My neighbor got five chickens last night and will be back after dark to get five more tonight. I haven’t been down to do chores yet today so don’t know if they laid any eggs today or not. It hurts to have to buy eggs from the store for a bit but hoping I will have new chickens the first of August and eggs by Thanksgiving.

I have the linens for the third bedroom washed up. I’ll go downstairs in a bit and make up three beds. I still need to wash the linens from the beds that are in the room Jim has taken over. Not sure I will bother washing them as they need to be taken out of the room and I won’t be using them again. I do need to start cleaning the floors downstairs and dust all the furniture.

We don’t have anything on the calendar for tomorrow or Wednesday. Maybe the mood to clean will finally strike and I can get the house done. Thursday the new oven is being installed and I have a doctor’s appointment. Friday I go to Topeka for an Ultrasound and then we are driving to Stillwater. I am running out of time to get the house done. I work best under pressure so maybe I will get started soon.

I haven’t written any letters for over a week. I miss writing them. Maybe that will be somethng I will do this evening. I have my address book now so I can write to some people that I haven’t written to yet. My brother said he didn’t get the last letter I mailed. I can’t remember where I dropped it off at but seem to remember it was one of several that I mailed at the same time. Makes me wonder if everyone I have sent a letter to has received it.

I got a short note from Aunt Glenda today. I had mailed her some face masks. She sent me a brand new $5 bill for the postage with a note that it was part of their stimulus money and she was working hard to spend it. She makes me smile!

My rental property manager called me this morning to let me know one of the properties needs a new A/C unit. He estimated it would cost $3,000. He called me this afternoon and said the actual cost is $3,800. OUCH! Grateful I have the money to pay for it but not how I had planned to spend that money. I haven’t had a major expense on the rental properties since I had to replace two roofs a couple years ago. Guess I was due for one.

Feeling a bit frazzled today. Not sure why. Delaing with doctors can do that to me though. I just want someone to tell me what is wrong (if anything other than my thyroid levels). I don’t like when I get different advice from them and I am supposed to know what to do. I’m grateful the Cardiologist can see me this week. Maybe I will get some answers from him.

Grateful for the new office chairs, grateful I have the funds to pay for the new A/C unit, and grateful nothing had to be done today so I could take a day to recharge and be quiet.

Got up this morning and went out and mowed. Figured out what was wrong with my mower and got it started without issue. Mowed the entire yard. Got kissed by the sun a bit. There was a nice breeze and it didn’t feel too hot mowing today. Jim went out this afternoon and pushed mowed to trim the yard. The yard sure looks nice now.

Jason and his partner and her two kids came out for dinner. It is so nice to have adult conversation with someone. Oh how I have missed having my family together. I fixed chili and homemade cinnamon rolls for dinner. They stayed and watch the sun go down. The temperature has dropped nicely this evening and it was a beautiful evening to sit outside and visit.

My neighbor came and picked up five chickens. She will be back tomorrow night for five more. She will get the rest of them Tuesday night. After they are all gone I will need to get the chicken coop cleaned out really good. I hope to get baby chickens and start over the first of August. I can’t wait to be back in the egg business.

Finally feel like I have had a productive day. I hadn’t had one for a bit. I am tired tonight but it is a good type of tired.

Last night my smart watch kept going off telling me my heart rate was too low. I took one of the new pills my doctor had prescribed and it caused my heart rate to go down to 40 and stay there most of the night. I didn’t take another one this morning. I sent my doctor a note through MyChart and trust he will tell me tomorrow on what to do. I don’t think that is the medication for me. I think I will call my Cardiologist and make an appointment with him. 40 is a tad low!

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. I do need to make a few phone calls. The exhaust stack on the barn has blown down and I need to call the guys to come repair it. I need to call the Cardiologist and make an appointment, and I need to check with my family doctor about the medication. If I don’t hear from my Endocrinologist about my TSH level I need to call her office again. I have a short grocery list that one or the other of us need to get. We also need to go look at office chairs and get two new chairs for the study. We might look for some deck chairs too.

Thursday I am to get my new oven installed. I had ordered it way back in February and the delivery got delayed due to Covid-19 restrictions. Trusting it will get delivered and installed on Thursday. It has been paid for all this time.

Friday I go to Topeka for my Ultrasound on my neck and then we are going to Stillwater for a week. I will need to get the house ready for my friend that is coming to house sit and get packed to go to Stillwater. I am almost wishing we didn’t have to go but know we will enjoy our time there when we get there.

This week will go by quickly again. Next week we will be in Stillwater and come home so we can go to KC on the 20th for Nicole’s wedding. That Will be a fun event! Then home for 10 days and then off to CO for four weeks. The summer will go by very fast. I am looking forward to August and things settling in for a bit. Although if I can find a house sitter in August we will probably spend a week in Stillwater sometime in August too.

Finally feeling like I am back in my peaceful valley of life. Finding a bit of a rhythm to life on the prairie again. One benefit of being back home is getting to see my kids and have wonderful evenings like tonight.

Grateful Jason and his family came out this evening, grateful the yard is mowed, and grateful for the peace and quiet of the prairie tonight.

It has been a laid back day on the prairie today. I didn’t get much done again today. Got the bedroom upstairs put back together and the linens from one of the rooms downstairs brought up. I have one last load of laundry to do today and those linens will be ready to go back on the bed. Tomorrow I’ll start on the other bedroom downstairs.

I worked on making more face masks again today. I have all the ones I had pinned together sewed up. I have more pieces cut that need pressed and then I can start the assembly process again. I needed to take a break from them for the rest of today.

Set out two chicken breasts to thaw this morning. Found a recipe on line that was easy and really good. You simmer the chicken for 10 minutes, then wrap each breast with two pieces of bacon. Put them in a pan and pour BBQ sauce over them and sprinkle with shredded cheese. Bake for 25 minutes at 375. Made a quick and delicious meal. We decided I needed to print that recipe so I will remember to make it again. Now to decide what to fix tomorrow night.

I took a nap this afternoon again. My shoulder was hurting again last night and I didn’t sleep well. Slept for over 1 1/2 hours this afternoon. Hope I sleep tonight.

I went to town after dinner to get gas for my mower. I was going to mow for an hour. I had not turned it all the way off when I mowed earlier this week and the mower was dead. I’ll have to have Jim help me start it tomorrow. Not in the mood to mess with it tonight. I spilled gas on my shorts while I was filling the mower’s gas tank so had to come in and take a shower. Kinda represents how my day has gone today.

I’ve been cranky all day today. The full moon was last night and it was a hard one for me. I am also adjusting to a new routine of being in the big house and haven’t found my rhythm here yet. There seems to be a lot for me to get done here but nothing seems to be what I want to be doing. Since we are going back to Stillwater next Friday it seems hard for me to get things done for some reason. Oh well, If things were urgent that I get them done I would do so. Most of what needs done can wait like painting the back deck, painting walls and the never ending job of deep cleaning each room.

We watched the wedding of Jim’s niece on Facebook live this afternoon. It was the shortest wedding I have ever seen but one full of love. I’m so grateful for Facebook live at times like that so family and friends can join in the celebration.

We worked a bit organizing stuff downstairs. The first load of Jim’s stuff was
dumped in the hallway downstairs and I didn’t want it to stay there. I moved my stuff from a big closet downstairs into the furnace room and organized it better. Jim worked on sorting his stuff in the dark room and made room for the stuff that was in the hallway. We both found some things that need taken down to the barn to be stored. Jim ended up not putting anything in the closet so it is still free for the next load of stuff we bring when we come back from Stillwater on the 19th.

My lower back is sore tonight. Not sure if I lifted something wrong or twisted it while I was downstairs today or if I slept wrong last night. Hopefully it will be better by tomorrow. I’m tired of my body yelling at me.

It was another hot day on the prairie with the temperatures in the mid 90’s again. I stayed in most of the day to avoid the heat. I think I got a bit dehydrated yesterday being out for over an hour in the heat of the day. I have been working on drinking lots extra today to help me feel a bit better. I think I am finally catching up as I do feel a bit better tonight.

Grateful the stuff out of the hallway got put away today, grateful my stuff got better organized, and grateful this day is almost over and a new day will be here soon.

I am 66 years old and participated in my first protest march today. It was all very peaceful and relatively quiet. There was a good turn out although being in the middle of it I have no idea how many people were there. We marched down Commercial Street from 12th to 7th and then east one block and then south again two more blocks.

At the end point there was a gathering with speakers. We all kneeled for 8 minutes and 45 seconds in honor of the time George Floyd had a knee on the back of his neck. Afterwards there were speakers. Jim and I were towards the back of the crowd and couldn’t hear what was being said.

We left before the speakers were done. I was hot and my heart rate was really fast. We walked back up Commercial Street to return to the college to get to where we parked the car.

I was impressed with the number of young people that came out. There was a nice showing of us older people too. Lots of people along the route were handing out cold bottles of water. At the gathering point on Campus they were handing out face masks and bottles of water. Several protesters pulled coolers full of water to hand out.

We were interviewed by a reporter from the college’s newspaper. He took my picture with my sign. My sign said “This mother heard George Floyd’s cry for help”.

Not sure anything will change as a result of the protest today. I read some of the comments on the article the local radio posted and several of them didn’t get the point at all. Racism is alive and well in Emporia, KS. Now I need to figure out what Step 2 is for me. I need to step up and do my part as we need change on many levels so that all people feel safe and are heard and seen.

When we got back to the car we went to Walmart to pick up a few things. I had broken a pair of scissors and needed a replacement pair. I also needed some low dose aspirin as my doctor recommended I start taking one a day. We picked up a big sack of dog food and a couple other things Jim needed.

Came home and haven’t done much this afternoon. I fell asleep in my chair for a bit. Need to go out and do chicken chores and make sure the girls have enough water. It is a hot one today.

I contacted my neighbor and she is going to come start getting chickens this Sunday. She will take five a day until she gets them all processed next week. I was going to clean out the chicken coop tonight or early tomorrow morning but will wait now until the chickens are gone to do it. I plan on getting baby chickens when we get back from CO the end of July.

I have the linens from the two bedrooms upstairs done. Need to do rugs from the two bathrooms upstairs and then start on the beds downstairs. I am a slug this afternoon though and not feeling like I want to move much. May not get anything done today.

I volunteered for three hours on the Crisis Hot Line last night. The first caller disengaged when I pushed him to problem solve. The second one was a satisfying call to me as I was able to get her some relief. I spend most of my time waiting for texters to interact with. I was able to copy and paste which I couldn’t last night. Now I need to figure out why the sound alert when I get a texter isn’t working. I have it turned on. The volume works on other things on the computer. I’m sure it is some small thing that I need to fix but can’t figure out what it is. I’ll keep playing with it.

I have some hamburger thawed for tonight. I’ll probably just fix plain hamburgers with it. We both enjoy that and it will make dinner easy. We picked up a few more corn on the cob for Jim to eat. I’ll fix me another vegetable to go with mine.

It is in the mid 90’s today and hot and humid out. The A/C doesn’t turn off for long before it turns right back on again. The back of my shirt was wet when we got back to the car today. I rarely sweat like that. Not sure we will take a walk this evening.

Grateful for the organizers of the protest today, grateful for all that were passing out bottles of water in support of the walkers, and grateful to have A/C and a cool house to come home to.

This Grandma is tired tonight. The two grandkids came out early afternoon and we just got back from taking them home. Oh what fun we had though. I fixed bacon, eggs and pancakes for lunch for them when they got here. Both ate really good. I had baked cookies this morning and they enjoyed them. We baked cupcakes this afternoon. Fixed hot dogs, corn on the cob and green beans for dinner.

Tagen ran the sewing machine for me to help me make some more face masks. Ellexia played in the sprinkler for a bit to cool down. They helped me do chicken chores and played with the dogs and cats.

I had forgotten how many dishes I can dirty when the kiddos are over. The third dishwasher load of the day is running now. The kids were so good and it was so nice to spend the day with them. Tagen is four inches taller than I am now. Oh my how he has grown up over the last six months.

I am washing the bedding for the two beds upstairs today. The washer and dryer have been running all day and I am not done yet. Tomorrow I need to wash the rugs in the two bathrooms upstairs and then get started on linens from the three bedrooms downstairs. It is time to do my spring cleaning and detail clean each room of the house. I hate doing it but love how it feels when I am done.

I haven’t had a chance to sit down much today. It has been a very busy day. But my tired tonight is a good tired and hopefully I will sleep well tonight.

Had a Crisis Text Hot Line Shift last night. I only took two calls. Both were fairly easy calls. I wanted to send one of them a link and my new computer wouldn’t let me copy and paste the link. I had to rope my supervisor into the call and ended up transferring the call to her so she could paste the link. She then transferred the call back to me and I finished the call up. The link had really helped the client so I am glad we figured out a way to get it to her.

I messaged a different supervisor later to ask how I copy and paste on the Apple. He gave me a new way to tried and it worked. I had switched to my old computer for the second call as it is common for me to send my clients referrals to links. I’ll try it out on the Mac tonight and hopefully will be able to make it work. I have another shift at 10:00 tonight.

I leveled up to a Level 3 Counselor last night. I have handled 30 calls so far. The next level up requires 30 more calls so it will be a bit before I become a Level 4. Level 9 is as high as they go. I have no idea how many calls it takes to get that high.

There are now over 10,000 counselors and last month we handled 105,000 calls. They are working hard to spread the word about the Hot Line as they have so many counselors now and can handle a much higher volume of calls. They have more than doubled the number of counselors they have since six months ago.

This has been a busy but good day. Got a lot of house work done but most importantly spent time with my two grandkids. It did all of us good to spend some time together.

Grateful for the time I got with my kiddos today, grateful for the cleaning and laundry I got done today, and grateful for the opportunity to be in service again tonight.

A frustrating day for me. I was at my doctor’s office at 7:45. They called me back at 8:15. After the nurse left I sat in the little room until after 9:00 when the doctor finally got to work. He was distracted and rushed when he came in. His computer wasn’t working so he spent 10 minutes getting it going.

I gave him my list of complaints. He was a bit dismissive and seemed uninterested. He never did lay hands on my shoulders or listen to my heart. He felt my pulses in my wrists and that was as much examining as he did.

He sent me for an X-ray  of my left shoulder and to have labs drawn. He gave me a list of exercises I can try to see if it helps my shoulder. Gave me a prescription that he said I could or could not take. He thinks it is all related to my thyroid condition and will level itself out in time.

His nurse called and said the X-ray was normal and that if I want they can refer me to PT. I am going to try the exercises for a bit and see if they help and then go to PT if they don’t. I am to go back in 90 days if nothing is helping and they will do an MRI then.

He gave me a heart medication that is to level out my B/P. However, he thinks it is thyroid related and it may level out on its own. He said I can wait 30 days to see if I feel better and if I don’t to try the medication.

Most of the lab results have come back and everything is normal except for BUN which is always high for me. It actually was lower than my normal which is good.

The problem child TSH was only 0.77. Way too low! It was 5.6 the end of March. The good news is that is evidence I have been swinging back and forth. When it gets that low it can cause the heart to be stressed and over worked. That explains the B/P roller coaster. I’ll wait until the Endocrinologist sees the results and see what she wants me to do. They also drew blood to check the cancer levels but those results take several days to get back.

I was disappointed in the visit today. I hate feeling dismissed and not getting definite direction. Usually he isn’t like this but about one out of ten visits he can do this. Oh well, I know my body better than anyone and getting the low TSH helps me understand what is going on. It is getting better so I just need to be patient and ride it out a bit longer. I have a feeling I am still getting too much thyroid medication and it needs to be reduced.

Stopped at Bluestem and got a new watering container for the chickens. Came home and ate some breakfast and went to bed. I only got three hours of sleep last night and I was wiped out. I slept a couple of hours and am feeling much better.

It is in the low 90’s today and a hot and windy day on the prairie. Jim got the blinds in the living room all unknotted and was able to lower them so the living room is cooler. Jim turned the A/C back on late morning so the house will stay cool.

Jim’s cats are adjusting slowly. Tony got out for a bit today and stuck around the house. That is good. We are afraid the dogs will scare him and he will run away. Katy has stayed in her crate inside and has been quiet for her. Another couple of days and Tony can come and go and all will be back to normal here.

Fixing tacos for supper tonight. I have some hamburger thawed and tacos are easy. I don’t have the energy to get complicated tonight.

Cut out more pieces for more masks this morning before I had to leave to go to the doctor. I need to cut some more flannel pieces and press all of them and then I can start putting together more masks. I need to start cleaning house but the mood hasn’t hit me yet.

Tomorrow we need to check our feed supplies and possibly go to town for a load. I checked with my neighbor and she is going to take my chickens over the next couple of weeks. I will replace them with babies when we get back from CO. The ones I have now are only laying about 2 eggs a day. Not worth the feed. I will get 24 babies and get back in the egg business this fall.

I think Jim is going to wait to go back to Stillwater until the 12th when we go together. He is enjoying relaxing on the prairie and getting some reading and writing time. It was so nice yesterday to spend the day relaxing and enjoying the beautiful view we have here.

Grateful for the lab results today, grateful for a long afternoon nap, and grateful for tacos.

A quiet day on the prairie at last. I went to bed early last night and got up in time to watch the sunrise this morning. It was beautiful and filled my soul.

I spent some time this morning putting things away and cleaning up the kitchen. We had dumped everything from the cars into the kitchen and dining room when we got here yesterday. I hate cluttered kitchen counter tops and kitchen tables.

Made a long grocery list for Jim. He went to town and it took him over an hour to get all the things on the list. He said his cart was full! It took us a bit to get everything put away when he got home. It is always an interesting experience to see what he buys at the store.

I ran into Cottonwood Falls to go to the bank to deposit three checks and to stop by the post office to mail two packages. I sent face masks off to my two Aunts.

Spent quite a bit of time today making more masks. I almost have all the ones I have cut out made up so will finish that last 10 or so of those and then will have to cut out more pieces. I have another big stack of them made up so if anyone needs some just holler.

Went out and mowed the driveway and to the south of the parking lot. It was nasty mowing as the grass was tall and it is dusty dirty out there. My eyes are still gritty and I am dusty and dirty. It was good to get outside and bounce on the mower for a bit. My house sitter had mowed up most of the yard. I will need to remember to get some gas before I can mow again.

Tomorrow morning I have to be at the doctor’s office at 7:45. I don’t usually get up and going that early in the morning. I look forward to getting some answers though and trust he will figure something out that will help me.

Need to stop on the way home from Emporia tomorrow and get a new watering can for the chickens. My other one is so bent out of shape that I can’t twist it on properly. The floor of the chicken coop is all wet from the water that leaks out when you don’t get the lid on correctly. I will need to do a big feed haul sometime this week but don’t think I will do it tomorrow. I’ll wait till I have Jim with me so he can do the heavy lifting.

We need to get the chicken coop cleaned out sometime this week. May do it this evening when it cools down a bit. It got hot enough this afternoon I turned the A/C on. Last night I had to put a sweater on after dark and am guessing it will cool down enough again tonight that we can turn the A/C back off and open the windows. I prefer sleeping with the windows open and the A/C off.

I have chicken tenders marinating in olive oil and seasoning that we will grill for dinner. Jim got some corn on the cob at the store today so we will have that with the chicken. It will be an easy meal to fix.

I haven’t started cleaning the house yet. Maybe tomorrow I can get a room or two done. The mood didn’t hit me today yet.

Sitting in my chair typing reminds me I need to do something about shades for the west windows. It sure would keep the top floor of the house cooler if I could block out the sunlight in the afternoons. I have never been sure what I wanted so have kept putting off getting something. Time to get off the pot and make a decision and get something ordered.

It is so nice to be back on the prairie. My heart feels full of light and love. Nothing fills me as full as being on the prairie.

Grateful the pantry and refrigerator are restocked, grateful more masks are made, and grateful to be back on the prairie.

Home sweet home! We got here around 3:15 this afternoon. Have been unpacking the two very full cars and putting stuff away all evening. Still not done but getting close. It is so very good to be home.

Jim put Tony in the office and took the cat crates to the garage. When Jim came back in he couldn’t find Tony. We looked all over the house and outside for him. About two hours later we heard him in the office. He was hiding on a book shelf behind a table. What a relief it was to find him.

The cats have talked to each other through the screen door. It hasn’t been love at first sight yet. We will give them some more time to smell each other before we actually allow them to make contact. Katy slept most of the afternoon in her big crate in the living room.

I had Tony in my car and he cried almost half the way home. Jim said Katy slept most of the way. Neither one has ever gone off of Jim’s property except to go to the Vet’s office. Not sure Tony is a fan of road trips.

I am making a very long grocery list for tomorrow. Jim is going to go to town and do our shopping tomorrow. I have a feeling it is going to take him a bit at the store to find everything. I cleaned out the refrigerator today – had a lot of things out of date. When you are gone for over five months that happens!

The sunset tonight was a beauty. There were enough clouds to give it lots of color yet we could still see the ball drop off the edge of the earth. I had to put a sweater on as it is chilly out on the deck. It is so nice to look out over the green green grass of home.

I didn’t sleep real well last night and am tired tonight. My right shoulder is bothering me tonight. I iced it while we were outside watching the sunset and will take a hot bath and then use a hot pad on it in bed. Sure hoping the doctor can figure out what is wrong and give me something to make it feel better.

We went on a walk and when we got to the mail box the dogs came to walk with us. We turned around and brought them back to the house. Their collars needed charged. Roxy’s collar was sticky and not working well. We locked the dogs in the garage and got the collars charged. I brushed Sophia for a bit with the rake and got handfuls of fur off of her. Have a lot more work to do on her. She looks like she is in rough shape. Roxy has a few burrs I need to cut out tomorrow. She was a bit pissed at me for locking her in the garage and not in the mood for me to work on her.

I have masks back in stock if anyone needs some. Holler at me and I will get them to you. I found some elastic so you can have your choice between ribbon ties or elastic. Jim likes the ties an I like the elastic.

I fixed hamburgers on the George Foreman grill tonight. The pickings for dinner were slim to almost none. I heated a can of corn to serve with them. That was the best I could come up with. I can do better tomorrow after Jim goes to the grocery store.

I have a lot of cleaning, sorting and reorganizing to do this week. I also would like to get back to painting the deck and get that project finished up. I’ll see how much I get done. Lots to do to reclaim the house. The house sitter did a great job but it will feel so good to get it really cleaned again.

Jim got his cameras unloaded. He has a big job ahead of him to get them organized and on shelves. We didn’t have room in the two cars for all his cameras. He took over one of the bedrooms downstairs as the room he is going to turn into his dark room isn’t big enough for all his treasures. That should keep him busy for several days.

Grateful to be back on the prairie again, grateful for a beautiful sunset to witness tonight, and grateful for a safe trip today.

It has been a hot and sticky day in Stillwater today. I didn’t get out to finish my mowing early enough and is too hot for me to do it now. Jim is on his way out now to finish the job for me.

We loaded both cars with most of Jim’s camera collection. Not all of them will fit. We had to leave a little room for some of the stuff I need to take back home with me. We will have two full cars full Of stuff to unload when we get to KS tomorrow afternoon. I had wanted to stop at Costco on our way past to pick up a few things but we won’t have room in the cars for anymore stuff.

Worked on making face masks again today. I lost count how many I have made today. I got out Jim’s old iron and pressed the cotton sheets. That has made them much easier to work with. He has an iron but no ironing board so I put a bath towel folded up over a card table. It worked well for what I was pressing.

I gathered up some of the stuff I want to take back to KS but haven’t finished getting everything piled up yet. I still need to pack my suitcase of clothes to take back. I’ll have to leave the winter stuff and take them home another day as space is going to be tight. Since we are coming back for a week in June it takes some of the pressure off to get everything we need this trip. Jim may come back later in the week for two nights and will bring another load then if he comes. He is going to see how his cats adjust and decide if they will be OK without him around so soon after moving them. He is really concerned how they are going to take to the new house and my dogs and cats. My experience tells me everyone will adjust just fine after a few tassels and hisses.

My Aunt Glenda called this afternoon. It is always a delight to hear from her. I had written her and told her I missed going to the cemetery in Florence to decorate graves and that Jim and I were going to go over this week to do so. She called to let me know mom and dad’s graves were well decorated and that the cemetery removes all the flowers ten days after Memorial Day so no need to take some over Tuesday.

We are having left over Chicken Pot Pie for dinner again tonight. It needs to get used up and it saves me from cooking another meal. Jim is kind to eat the same thing two days in a row. I’ll have to think of something to fix in KS for dinner tomorrow night when we get there. I have no idea what I have on hand their so it might be a creative meal. One of us will need to go grocery shopping Tuesday after I make a long list of things we need. It is hard to remember which house has what in it.

I put a heat pad on my aching right shoulder last night when I went to bed and it helped. Ibuprofen nor Tylenol seems not to be helping it at all. I tried ice once and that didn’t seem to help either. Glad I got some relief with a heating pad. It is aching again this afternoon from sewing and carrying lots of cameras to the cars. Sure hope the doctor can help me figure out what is wrong with it Wednesday.

Hard to believe my time here is coming to an end. It will be so good to get back to the prairie but I will miss Stillwater. This little house has been a wonderful place to shelter in place. It is little but very cozy and comfortable. It will be interesting to see how we do in the big house on the hill. Our lifestyle will change a bit. Jim can relax more there and not feel so pressured to get his projects done here. I will have more house to keep clean and more animals to tend to.

Life is constantly changing and this is just one more change for us. I’m sure we will find a rhythm to prairie life and enjoy ourselves there too. It will be nice to be closer to the kids and grandkids.

Grateful for the phone call from Aunt Glenda today, grateful for the box of face masks that got made today, and grateful tomorrow is moving day at last.

Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter Nicole. She was 10 days late entering this world. 9 1/2 lbs with a head full of hair. She has a heart of gold and I am so glad she chose me to be her mother.

I mowed this morning while JIm slept in. I got most of the big back yard done. I still have about 20 more minutes of mowing to do in the back yard and then I need to do the small front yard. It got too hot for me to be out mowing this afternoon so I came in and took a nap. Slept for two hours.

Fixed crustless chicken Pot pie for dinner. I tried a new recipe and it is a winner. It was easy to fix and tasted delicious. It uses mashed potatoes instead of a crust. It is the ultimate comfort food and a good way to use up the rest of the chicken I roasted two days ago.

Got a dozen face masks made today. I had two requests for more masks so got those packaged up and ready to mail. I’ll take them to the grocery store post office tomorrow morning and get them sent off. I have another dozen masks pinned and ready for the final step of sewing. Have lots more material to cut to make more. I found some elastic and am using that this time as well as some more with ties. The elastic ones don’t fit Jim’s face but I like the elastic better than the ties.

Jim is starting to pack the cars with the stuff he wants to take to KS on Monday. He is taking two bookcases and is cutting some boards to fit them so the shelves will be stronger. I think he is going to put cameras on them but not sure what his master plan is.

We need to go for a walk tonight as we haven’t done that for two days now. My shoulder is hurting though and not sure I am up to walking tonight. I activated it when I was mowing. I realized today that ibuprofen or Tylenol doesn’t help relieve the discomfort. Sure hope my doctor can figure something out on Wednesday. I’m tired of it hurting.

Hard to believe tomorrow is my last full day here. We will be coming back for a week in June but KS will become our permanent home as of Monday. I have come to enjoy Stillwater and the city conveniences it provides without feeling like a big city. Although the last two and one-half months we haven’t taken advantage of many of them. It will take us a bit of time to find our rhythm in KS. We will only be there for 12 days then come to Stillwater for a week and then two weeks later we plan to go to CO for four weeks. So it will be the end of August before we really settle into our KS home. We will probably come spend a week in August in Stillwater too.

I applied for and finally received the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance for the loss of income from the Airbnb. I will continue to receive it through the end of July unless it gets extended by Congress. That makes up for the revenue I lost from the Disc Golf tournament, the Rodeo, the Symphony on the Flint Hills and regular guests through out the summer. Still not sure when I will start accepting guests again. I’ll wait and see what the case counts do when we return in August to see if I feel comfortable having strangers come in my house then.

I encourage any small business owner that hasn’t applied for the PUA to do so. It is a simple process especially if you have a copy of your 2019 income tax return that shows the revenue you earned from your small business. If you need help holler at me and I would be delighted to help you. There is a weekly claim you have to enter but that is simple and doesn’t take long to do. There is no minimum income earned requirement and you get $600 a week that you had no business due to Covid-19.

I haven’t written any letters for a few days. Sent eight earlier this week. I might get on Jim’s computer while he is out working and get a few more written. I’m so glad I thought to start that project. It has given me much joy in writing the letters and receiving some responses. I might keep that practice going into the future even as our restrictions are lifted.

My heart is heavy listening to the news of the protests that are happening all over the country. I read a report today that most of the riots and fires are being caused by ultra right groupS that are coming in from out of state. Their main claim is to cause division between races. How terribly sad. My heart aches for all the injustice that has been done to POC over the years. I pray their voices will be heard and systematic change will happen in our culture. It breaks my heart to read some of the comments condemning them. We have a long ways to go to find equality for all. I feel my white privilege tonight and it is weighing on me. I ask forgiveness for the times I was insensitive and ignorant of the rights and needs of POC. May I learn to do better in the future.

Grateful most of the yard is mowed, grateful more masks are being made, and grateful for the PFA I received yesterday.

Had a tough case on the Crisis Text Hot Line last night. I had to get my supervisor involved for some expert advice. The supervisor was super supportive and helped boost my confidence. I had kinda thought she would take over the conversation but she continued to coach me and let me handle it. She even left a kind note for me afterwards. This was the first case that I was worried about the texter enough that I wanted an experienced person to look at our exchange and help me out.

Sometimes when I have a tough case I have trouble letting them go after we are done. But because the supervisor was involved and she felt comfortable that the texter would be safe I was able to let it go. That was nice. I have handled 19 cases so far. One more case and I will level up to a Level 3. I have volunteered for 19 hours so far. 181 to go to complete my commitment. I’m glad I found this way to be in service. Most of the time I enjoy it.

I painted almost 2/3 of the west side of Jim’s house today. I have caught up to him and he needs to remove more shingles before I have more to paint. Tomorrow I need to start getting the yard mowed so may not get any more painting done before we leave on Monday. I’ll see how long the mowing takes and how I am feeling.

I had some low B/P again today. It was OK this morning but when I got outside in the heat it dropped. I would paint for a bit and then come in and drink lots of water and rest and then go back out to paint. Slow but steady was my motto for the day. I sure hope my doctor can reassure me on Wednesday that nothing serious is wrong with me. I sure am tired of this.

I grilled hamburgers for dinner tonight. Fixed some broccoli and made a baked potato for Jim. Need to use up the left over chicken some how tomorrow night. Not sure what I am going to make with it yet.

I didn’t get the freezer cleaned out yet. We are coming back for a week mid June so will continue to clean out the freezer then. I’ll need to do the same thing in KS as I am getting som beef the first of August and will need freezer space.

Started making more face masks today. Cut out part of the pieces of the sheet and the flannel. The big pieces of flannel are easier to use than the receiving blankets were as I can rip the strips to the width I need and not have to cut all four sides. I have two people waiting for me to mail them some masks and want to try to get them in the mail this weekend.

The man that Jason worked next to died of Covid-19 today. That makes this thing very real for me. There was another man from Emporia that died this week too. Both were in their 40 – 50’s and relatively healthy before they got sick. Damn! Life is not fair sometimes.

I haven’t started gathering things up to take to KS yet. I do have a list and figure it won’t take me long to pull things together. Since we are coming back June 12 I don’t feel a great sense of urgency to get everything this trip. We will probably start packing the cars on Sunday with lots of Jim’s stuff he wants to take this time. He is taking his Element that has lots of room so will be able to take a double load this time. When we come back in June we will take his Mazda to KS when we return.

It’s been a good day. Painting the house is very rewarding as it looks so nice when I am done. I have lots of trim to paint when I get done with the main color but that will happen on another day and time. Maybe when we are here in June I can start getting the trim painted. We will see how I am feeling and how hot it gets. I don’t do well in the heat.

Grateful a lot of painting got done today, grateful for my supervisor’s guidance last night, and grateful to be making more face masks.

I had a rewarding night on the Crisis Text Hot Line. The first two calls were relatively easy. The third one was a bit harder but I think I helped get him more help. It is hard when they don’t respond and you don’t know what happened. I signed off and went to bed but couldn’t sleep so I signed back on and took one more call. It was relatively easy too. Not bad to get four calls in on one night. I had to wait 35 minutes to get my first call. We have lot of counselors right now which is a good thing.

I haven’t done much today. Did two loads of laundry and wrote a letter this morning while Jim was sleeping. This afternoon I made some more banana bread. I ran to Walmart to get some material to make some more masks. I had to wait about 15 minutes to find someone to cut the material for me. I use 600 count bed sheets as part of the fabric in the masks and found two queen sets on sale. I’ll have to cut the elastic off the fitted sheets but will end up paying less than I did before. They had flannel material and I got a bunch of it. Last time I used baby receiving blankets. I guessed at how much I will need.

I didn’t get to paint on the west side of the house today at it rained this morning and again this afternoon. The forecast is showing the rain moving out after tonight and the sun is to return from its vacation tomorrow and hang around for the next seven days at least. Hoping things will dry out enough that I can paint tomorrow afternoon. I’ll need to mow Saturday and Sunday before we head to KS on Monday.

I have another Crisis Text Hot Line shift tonight. Last night I signed on early so I could get several calls in. Not sure what time I will sign on tonight. I knitted a dish rag while I was waiting for a caller to handle.

I have one set of the sheets I bought in the washer now and will get the other set in when this set is done. I can start cutting material tonight between calls. I have had two requests for masks and I don’t have any extras to send. It won’t take me long to get a dozen or so made up to send to the ones that have requested some.

I have a chicken cooking in the crock pot for dinner. I’ll fix us each a salad and cook some veggies and dinner will be ready when we are ready to eat. Makes an easy meal. Will need to think of something to fix with the left over chicken for a meal on Saturday.

I don’t like days like this when I don’t find much to do. I get restless and antsy. One reason I went out to get more material is so I would have something to do. I can sit and enjoy doing nothing but all day of that is too much.

Grateful for being of service to four people last night on the Hot Line, grateful to have found two sets of sheets on sale today, and grateful for the smell of the chicken that is cooking in the crock pot.

Another quiet, cloudy day in Stillwater. I haven’t gotten anything done yet today. Jim just went out to work on the west side of the house. He has to get some stuff done before I can start painting that side of the house. Maybe I’ll get some painting in yet today if the rain doesn’t beat me to it.

We did take a 2 1/2 mile walk today. It is in the mid 70’s today but it is cloudy and humid. Sure feels like it could rain. There is a lot of moisture in the air.

Having heart spells again today. When I woke up this morning my pulse was 40. It got up to 110 on our walk but has settled back down to the 60’s now. My BP was high yesterday but low this morning. I’m getting tired of this roller coaster. Sure hope the doctor has some answers for me next week when I go in.

Have a pot roast in the crock pot cooking for dinner tonight. Sure makes the house smell good this afternoon.

I did get the bathroom cleaned this morning. It was disgustingly dirty. I kept forgetting to clean it. I haven’t been on a regular cleaning schedule here like I used to keep at my house in the country. Hoping I can get back on a schedule when we get home.

I got some good sleep last night. After a night of little sleep it was good I got some sleep. I was tired this afternoon but decided not to take a nap and start that cycle over again.

I have my volunteer shift with the Crisis Text Hot Line tonight from 10:00 to midnight. I hope I can stay awake that long and stay engaged with my texters. They usually keep me on my toes and wake me up. I usually have trouble going to sleep for a bit after my shift is over. I have to take time to process the calls and release the energy that I picked up during our exchanges.

Mailed four letters this morning. I haven’t written any today yet. They seem to come in spurts – I can only write when the urge hits me. When I get home and have my address book I’ll be able to write more to people I haven’t written to yet.

Only have four more full days here before we head north. Saturday and Sunday I will need to get Jim’s yard all mowed up. We will be back here June 12 – 10 so will need to mow again when we get back the 12th and again the 19th before we leave again. Jim has hired a high school kid to come mow for July.

I have started a list of things I want to take to KS with me. Since we are coming back the 12th I don’t have to worry so much about getting everything the first time we go home. We will be able to take another load north on the 19th. We will take Jim’s Mazda home that time and I’m sure load both cars full again.

Sometimes I feel so guilty that my life hasn’t hardly been effected by Covid19 compared to those that have lost their jobs, gotten sick or lost a lot of income. Other than not eating out much and not going home as scheduled we really can’t tell their is a pandemic happening. My heart goes out to those seriously effected.

Grateful for a long walk today, grateful for the smell of dinner cooking, and grateful I get to be in service tonight.

Another quiet day in Stillwater. I did get out this afternoon and finished painting the front of the house. We haven’t got the part above the porch roof done yet but the lower 3/4 is done. It looks nice.

Jim is working on removing shingles from the west side of the house. He hopes to get a section done yet tonight so I can get it washed and painted tomorrow while he does another section. We only have three sides of the house to do as the back section is a deck. There is a small section above the deck to do but it isn’t very big.

We had leftovers for dinner tonight. Cleaner out the refrigerator again. I like getting the refrigerator cleaned out. I laid out a pot roast to thaw and I will fix it in the crock pot for dinner tomorrow night. Once I know what to fix I am good to go.

Had a long phone conversation with a dear friend today. So good to visit with her. Wished I enjoyed phone conversations more and would do them more often. I have to be in the right mood to talk on the phone. Just not my thing I guess.

We took our walk this afternoon. Added another 1/4 mile or more to it. Feels good to get out and stretch our legs. We both need to get out more and keep increasing the distance in preparation for our trip to CO if we get to go. The high altitude always bothers me for a couple of days and hiking there is harder for me. Especially if I am badly out of shape.

Today has felt like a Monday to me. Yesterday felt like Sunday. Sure is hard to know what day of the week it is when you do the same thing everyday. We didn’t do anything special to celebrate the holiday weekend.

Need to start thinking about gathering things I want to take home with me next Monday. I have a friend that asked if she could come stay at my house in June so she is coming June 12 and we are going to come back here for a week. That will allow Jim to get more work done here and we can get the second car to take to KS. We can take two more car loads of stuff back with us. Hoping by then we will know if we are going to CO in July and can get the mountain gear to take back with us then.

Made a doctor’s appointment for Wednesday, June 3. Every time we walk my right shoulder hurts after I walk about 1/4 mile. It hurts the rest of the walk and into the evening afterwards. Once it quiet downs it doesn’t hurt again until the next time I take a long walk. Not sure what is going on but I am getting tired of it. I have a high tolerance for pain but when my shoulder gets set off if plain ass hurts. Haven’t figured out a way to hold my body so that it helps ease it. It will help for a minute at most when I hold my arm behind my back but then it hurts hard again.

My B/P was high today but dropped down after my walk. It is going back up again tonight. Guess I have switched from being too low to being too high. Wish I could find the sweet spot and stay there. I feel better when it is a bit high that I do when it is too low. Maybe I am getting to where I need to be slowly but surely.

It was a party cloudy and cool day in Stillwater today. We got more rain overnight but it has been dry today. While we were walking there were some dark clouds hanging around but they seem to have cleared on out. More rain is in the forecast through Thursday and then it is to clear out and start warming up again.

My mood was better today and the day proceeded with much more ease today. I’m back in my peaceful valley of life. Glad I was on a short detour yesterday.

Grateful for leftovers that turn into a second meal, grateful for friends and long conversations, and grateful to be back in my peaceful valley.

Ever have one of those days where nothing seems easy? That is kinda the type to day I am having today. I had to put my yarn in time out as it tangled up. I cut off the knot and put on a new skein and couldn’t get the end out of the center of the skein.

I was making banana bread and I have to unload part of a shelf to get the flour out. I set the brown sugar plastic container on something and as I was reaching for the flour the brown sugar container fell and hit me on the nose. OUCH! It is a bit swollen where it hit. Hoping I don’t have a black eye tomorrow morning. It would fit my mood today to be sporting one though!

It is sticky and humid and I have a headache. OK – enough of my bitching. I’m tired of myself right now.

I took some letters to the post office and stopped at the grocery store for a few things. We are having tacos for dinner and I needed lettuce, tomatoes, and taco seasoning. About half of the people in the store were wearing masks – mainly the older ones. The cashier had one around his neck but not over his nose or mouth. Maybe he had a cold neck?

I haven’t done anything productive today. The front of the house isn’t ready to paint yet although Jim is out there now working on it. Maybe if it doesn’t rain tomorrow it will be ready to paint and I can accomplish something.

A week from today I will be back on the prairie to stay. It will be another big change for us. We have adapted to the routine of living here and will have to adjust to a new routine there. Jim is getting more nervous by the day thinking of moving full-time to KS. He will be back and forth for quite some time as he still has lots to finish here. I’ll see how often I come with him. It is a bit of a problem to find House sitters all the time and have to get the house ready for them and then redone when we get back.

This is the first Memorial Day I have missed going to visit my parents and three sets of grandparents. I miss going to them today. Trusting someone else from the family visited. Usually the flowers I take to Dad’s parents are the only ones there. That makes me sad.

Wonder why I am so cranky today? Guess it is just one of those days. And this too shall pass! Sometimes I forget I don’t need a story to justify my feelings. I need to allow them to be what they are and they will shift. When I write a story about them they tend to hang around longer.

Grateful for easy days that I take for granted, grateful that this too shall pass, and grateful for the post office that delivers letters to my friends and family.

Not a very productive day today. I washed some boards on the front of the house. I’m waiting on Jim to finish removing the upper boards before I can get them washed and then start painting. I don’t have another project to do so I wait.

It has been cloudy and muggy today. Sure feels like a storm could blow in tonight. It reached the mid 80’s today and it felt like low 90’s with the heat index. I don’t like hot and humid weather.

A week from tomorrow we move to Kansas. I need to start pulling things out and get them packed. I managed to bring a lot of stuff here that I need to take back home. Jim hasn’t started figuring out what he wants to take. we will be back and forth enough that we don’t need to worry if we don’t get what we need the first trip. We are taking two cars this time so will have room to take a bunch of stuff. My house in KS is starting to fill up.

I’ve been quiet today. Not sure why. I did take a NyQuil last night so I could sleep and probably have a bit of a hangover as a result. I haven’t fallen in the muck pond but am feeling a bit down. It may also be a result of not accomplishing much today. Just the cloudy day blues perhaps.

I did write the grandkids their weekly letter today. I have a bunch of other mail that needs to go to the post office and wanted to get their letters done and out with the rest. I may write a few more tonight and take all to the post office tomorrow.

We cleaned the grill and then grilled brats for dinner. The grill flamed up but because we cleaned it they didn’t get charred. I laid hamburger out for dinner tomorrow night but not sure what I am going to make out of it.

It doesn’t feel like a holiday weekend to me. Nothing is anything different than normal. Everyday is a holiday when you are retired. I miss going to the cemeteries this weekend. Will go sometime after we get home in June.

Still having some shoulder issues. The right one acts up when we walk and stays painful for some time afterwards. The left one hurts when I move it wrong or lay on it at night. Once it hurts it stays hurting for quite a while. I did request a doctor’s appointment with my family physician for the first week in June. If a miracle happens and they both calm down I can cancel the appointment.

Grateful for NyQuil that helps me sleep – even when it causes me to have a hangover the next day, grateful I get to move home in a week from tomorrow, and grateful for quiet, introspective days.

A painting type of day around here. Jim laid out the wood he needed painted to build shelves in the upper cabinets last night. I worked on painting them today. All required two coats and then I flipped them over and put two more coats on the back side.

I needed another project to do while the paint dried so I painted the new cedar siding planks the floor guys put on the side of the house. That makes the house look so nice Jim decided to take the shingles off the front of the house this afternoon. When he gets that done and the scraping done I can start painting the front of the house.

Wrote some letters this afternoon. Jim took the last two packages of face masks to be mailed today while he was out picking up his prescriptions. I am out of extra face masks for now. I saved about a dozen for us to use. I’ll probably make some more once I get up to KS.

We are having chicken chimichangas for dinner. I made them one other time and they were good. I needed to use up the chicken I cooked in the crock pot earlier this week. Now to decide what to fix tomorrow night. Once that decision is made the rest is easy.

Got an email from the Crisis Text Hot Line. They have an emergency shift roster that they used when they get overwhelmed with calls. Now that I am a Level 2 I can sign up to get notified when they need extra counselors. I can tell them the hours I am willing to help out and there is no obligation on my part to have to be available during that time. They will send me a text if they need help during my specified hours and I can hop on and help them out if I am available. I will sign up next time I get on the Platform to take calls. I agreed to put in 200 hours and would like to get as many hours as possible a week to get that commitment paid back. I am limited to 12 hours a week maximum but have only signed up for four to six right now. I didn’t want to over commit myself until I feel like I can handle more on a regular bases. It can be intense work and I need to practice good self-care or I will get burned out quickly.

Still hasn’t sunk in that we will be moving to KS June 1. Only eight more full days in Stillwater. It will be a big change for us but I am hoping we can settle into life on the prairie pretty seamlessly. It is quieter there. Jim can do more writing and reading and not so much physical labor. He is going to build himself a workshop in the shop but it isn’t as pressing as the restoration work is here. I’m ready to reconnect to the sun, moon and land and get back to my riding mower.

It has been in the mid 80’s here today but the humidity hasn’t been as high so it doesn’t feel so warm. There has been a gently breeze moving the air so that helps too. We will take our walk after dinner tonight. I hope we go two miles again like we did last night.

Sitting in my peaceful valley again tonight. It helps when I have projects to work on and can see something that I accomplished in a day. Hoping Jim will get enough done today that I can start painting the front of the house tomorrow.

Grateful for the painting I got done today, grateful for left over chicken, and grateful we will be moving in 9 days!

I had another fun shift on the Crisis Text Hot Line. I was on for three hours but only took two calls. There are an abundance of counselors now which is a good thing as texters don’t have to wait to be taken care of. Both of my texters were able to go from a hot mess to a cool calm.

Had trouble sleeping last night. I took a second bath after my first sleep and was finally able to get a second sleep. I slept in a bit this morning and think I ended up with six hours of sleep.

I wrote some letters this morning when I got up. I baked Jim a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It gave me something to do and he enjoys eating them.

I posted on Facebook I had masks to give away. I stayed busy for a bit getting packages ready to mail. I sent 53 masks out today to 8 different people. I am down to about a dozen masks and Jim and I need those for us. I have some old sheets in Strong City that I can use to make some more when I get back home in June. It feels good to have the masks off of the chair they have been sitting on and in the mail and into the hands of people that need them and can use them.

I went to the Post Office to mail the packages and letters I fixed today. It was good to get out for a hot minute. Most of the people at the post office were wearing masks although only one of the two clerks had one on.

I fixed hamburgers on the grill for dinner tonight. We had had chicken for two nights in a row so will fix chicken left overs for tomorrow.

We extended our walk to two miles tonight. Both of us need to walk more and we decided to add some more steps to our walk. It is muggy and sticky outside tonight. We had a thunderstorm with some high wind come through this morning. It felt good to have some rain clean up the air for a bit. Feels like it needs to rain again now. There is a lot of humidity in the air and another rain will feel good.

I went back and read some of the training material for the Crisis Text Hot Line. It sure makes a lot more sense to me now that I have taken calls. I need to print the textbook off and reread it completely. For the most part I have been doing what they recommend but had kept running into a part that was a challenge for me. After reading the textbook I understand what I can do differently to make things go easier.

I’ve run out of projects again. I am knitting a blanket but my shoulder has been bothering me. Not sure what I did to it but wondering if I landed on it when I passed out the first part of the month. If I knit too long it bothers my shoulder.

Hard to remember this is a three day holiday weekend. Everyday feels the same to me these days and I only know what day of the week it is because my iPad tells me. I will miss going to the cemeteries this weekend. Will have to visit the cemeteries after we get back to KS the first of June.

Grateful I found home for the masks I made, grateful for a two mile walk tonight, and grateful for what sleep I did get last night.

Had a fun shift last night on the Crisis Text Hot Line. I took three calls. The first disengaged immediately, the second I referred to someone she could talk to on the phone and the third was a long call but very satisfying for me. I had gotten on at 9:30 for my 10:00 shift and didn’t take the first call until almost 10:00. I stayed over to finish my last call.

This morning after I got up I got the woodwork in the closet Jim has been working on painted. It is a narrow closet and with the shelves in it a bit tricky to paint the backside of the door frame. Got a bit of paint on me but got it done.

My B/P has been low again today and I have felt like I had a leak in my energy level all day. Finally gave up and laid down and took a nap. Feeling a bit better now but still low energy. Oh well, I really don’t have anything I need to do except fix dinner in a bit so I’m good.

I’m fixing scalloped potatoes with ham for dinner. Jim laid out a package of thick ham by mistake and I told him I would use it up. Doing my best to get the freezer cleaned out. Tomorrow night I need to use up the chicken from last night.

It has been cloudy all day today. It was supposed to rain but it went around us. The air is thick and heavy and it needs to rain to clear the air a bit. Now they are predicting rain early tomorrow morning.

I have another Crisis Text Hot Line shift tonight at 10:00. I leveled up last night and am now a Level 2 Counselor. That just means my conversations aren’t at the top of the Supervisor’s screen and I can now take two at a time. I will only take two calls at once when they get really busy and so far that hasn’t happened. We have an abundance of counselors right now and I spend about half my time of my shift waiting for a call.

The calls are getting easier for me and I didn’t have to use my notes as much last night. It is so satisfying to get a tester from a hot mess to a fun, cool calm.

Ten more days here in Stillwater. Jim has agreed to a moving date of June 1. He still plans to come back to Stillwater a bunch for a bit and finish up some jobs he is working on. We will see if he does. Once he gets to KS he will find jobs to do there. He wants to build a shop for all his tools and I bet he will get started on that and forget to come south so much. He has lots of jobs to do at both places.

Moving his two cats is at the top of his list of concerns about moving. Neither one have ever moved since he got them here. Katy will probably do better than Tony as she spends most of her time in the crate. We have another big crate and can put her outside in the crate. Tony likes to spend most of his time outside and he has never been around dogs. It will interesting to see how he adjusts to living with two dogs and three cats.

I got my insurance explanation of benefits from when I went to the ED for my diarrhea and vomiting episode. They billed over $5,375 including the charge for the ED doctor. Medicare paid $186 and my insurance paid $150. I had to pay $8.83. The rest was written off. I will never understand how our medical system billing works. The doctor was paid more than the hospital for my care. That doesn’t seem fair to the hospital. Grateful I have insurance. Worry about those that don’t and the fact they would have to pay the full sticker price. There is nothing in this whole billing process that feels fair to me.

Tagen text me and ask if he could mow my yard so he could make some money this summer. I ask if he wanted me to teach him to use the riding mower. He said sure but he would push it too. Wonder if he realizes how long it would take to push mow my whole yard. He would make lots of $$ if I pay him by the hour to do that. I’m getting anxious to see him – I haven’t seen him since February.

Grateful for health insurance, grateful for naps, and grateful for the opportunity to be in service to others via the Crisis Text Hot Line.

It is another beautiful day in Stillwater. The temperature has been in the low 80’s with bright blue skies and light wind. It is a perfect spring day.

I found the gas cap in the bushes this morning. I had ordered another one but decided to look one more time this morning and found it. Guess we will have a spare one in case I do the same thing again. I went out and did a bit more mowing this morning after I found the gas cap. Still have some to do but got the part that was bothering me done.

The workers came today to do some more work on leveling the floor in the spare bedroom. When Jim cleaned out that closet he found a big gap in the floor. They worked for several hours this morning but need to come back with different tools to get it fixed. What they tried this morning helped but didn’t fix it completely.

I woke up when Jim came to bed last night around 4:00. I couldn’t go back to sleep so finally at 6:00 I got up for the day. After lunch today I laid down and was able to sleep for about an hour. I have a volunteer shift tonight between 10:00 pm and midnight and needed to be able to stay awake and function well. Jim laid down too and he is still sleeping. His nap has lasted over three hours at this point. He likes to sleep more than I do.

I wrote four letters today that I need to take to the post office to mail. I seem to write letters in bunches these days instead of one a day. Oh well, the intention is there and they get done – just in a different way than I envisioned. I am starting to think that is what this “pause” time is to teach me. I tend to get a vision of how I think my plans should unfold and life has a way of unfolding in a different way. If I can stay out of my own way the way they unfold works well. It is my expectations of things that cause me to slip up and fall into the muck pond. I need to paste that reminder on my hand and look at it every day and remember to let go and let life unfold.

Grateful for afternoon naps, grateful for beautiful spring days, and grateful I found the gas cap.

Two months married as of today. The time is flying by. I thought time would slow down due to being in isolation but it hasn’t. I can’t believe it has been two months since we got married. Although I still forget we are married sometimes. Living with Jim is easy and getting married didn’t change anything. That is nice.

Got up this morning and got to work mowing. I had to come in twice to cool down and slow down my heart rate. My B/P was low again this morning. The third time I went out the mower started sounding different. I thought it was about out of gas so headed to the house. Got ready to put gas in it and realized I hadn’t screwed the gas cap on tight and it had fallen off. I have looked all over for it but can’t find it. Got on the computer and looked at the manual for his mower and got the part number for the gas cap. Went to Amazon and found one and ordered it. Should be here in a couple of days. One way to get out of mowing for a bit! Dang it anyways – I wanted to finish the mowing today.

Got the rest of the painting done. Jim did something to another board and had me paint it too. They are all ready to be put up in the closet when he gets around to it. I have some more painting to do in the closet but he discovered the floor wasn’t even and had to call the guys back to fix the beam. They are to come tomorrow morning so maybe tomorrow afternoon I can paint the woodwork inside the closet. It sure seems hard to finish a project sometimes.

Jim is out running errands. I posted on Facebook I have extra masks to give away and several people responded. I have given away over 50 so far today but still have 80 or so left. Jim had several packages to mail for me today as well as a couple of letters. He is also doing our grocery shopping for the week.

I’ve run out of projects to do today. Maybe when Jim gets back from running his errands he can find something else he needs me to do. I have chicken tenders marinating in olive oil dressing that we will grill for dinner tonight. Doing my best to get his freezer cleaned out before June 1. I’ll see if Jim finds something on sale to put in it today – he usually does.

A local rancher posted on Facebook that all the local butcher shops are booked through the end of the year. Grateful I had contacted my local rancher to get a beef before all this madness started. She has her date to butcher booked for sometime in July. The kids and I are going to share one whole beef. I hate buying beef in the grocery store as you never know where the beef is from these days. Right off the ranch beef tastes so much better.

Wrote the grandkids their weekly letters today and Jim took them to mail. Not sure what the kids think of getting a letter from me each week but it helps me feel more connected to them. I need to write a few more letters today.

Tomorrow I have my Crisis Text Hot Line work to do at 10:00 pm. I volunteer for a two hour shift but sometimes it turns into 2.5 or even 3 hours if I take a call that takes a bit to finish up. It is getting easier each week to know what to say and how to steer the conversation to problem solving. Some just don’t want to go there and that is OK too.

Feels good to have gotten some things done today. I like productive days and am working to embrace non-productive days too. Both are needed and have purpose for me. Old habits of driving myself to be productive die hard though.

Grateful I almost got the mowing done before I lost the gas cap, grateful the painting job is complete, and grateful for those that asked for face masks and reduced my pile.

I got to ride on my riding mower today! Best day in a long time! We went to our Strong City house today to take a load of Jim’s stuff. While he unloaded the car he told me I could mow. I didn’t get the whole yard done but it was fun to mow for a bit. The grass was nice and tall and easy to tell where I had been. I had the blades replaced earlier this year and this was the first time I was able to test the mower since it had been repaired. It cut much easier and cleaner.

We only stayed at the house about an hour. Jim got his stuff unloaded and then we headed back to Stillwater. It seems kinda silly to drive six hours to spend one hour at the house but it was worth it. The hills are so green it almost hurts your eyes. The ponds are full and the hills are full of cattle. It was a sight for sore eyes.

When we got home I fixed salmon for dinner. It was the last two pieces of salmon in the freezer. Neither of us are big fish eaters but we choked it down.

We took a one-mile walk after dinner. When we got back I flipped the pieces I painted yesterday and got the first coat on all of them. I’ll go out in the morning and get the second coat on them. Jim will have to come up with another project for me when I get them done.

I picked up my mail while I was home. Nothing urgent but grateful for a few things I found. I had over paid my real estate taxes for Chase County so had a refund check. That was a nice surprise. Some checks I had ordered came in and were there for me. I had ordered a book and it had come in.

I didn’t go see the grandkids this time. I can’t wait until I can see them whenever and give them hugs. I sure have missed having them come over and spend the night.

No big plans for the rest of the week. I’m sure Jim will come up with some projects for me to help him with. These last two weeks here will go by quickly. Hoping we will get a lot of work done but we will take what ever we can get done.

Have a friend that wants to come spend some time as an Airbnb guest in June. Thinking I might see if she will house sit instead and Jim and I will come back for four or five days the middle of June. We can get some more work done then. I’m not sure I am ready to have guests while I am in the house yet.

Grateful for being home for a hot minute today, grateful to be on the riding mower for a bit today, and grateful for a safe trip to and from.

Slept in this morning. We didn’t even wake up in time to listen to church at 11:00. I had trouble falling asleep last night and around 4:00 took some NyQuill. It worked and put me to sleep. Have felt hung over today but it was worth it to get some sleep.

I painted some today. Finally got the woodwork that Jim repaired in the dining room painted. It looks so nice now. Painted the back side of a door for the closet as well as the shelves and boards that he will use in the closet. Got two coats on everything and will need to flip them tomorrow and get the other side painted.

Jim is cleaning out the spare bedroom and loading up another load for us to take to Strong City tomorrow. I got into the tote that has my winter knitting in it and got the ends weaved in and boxed up to take to the church whenever the church can accept blanket donations. I may have some more to add to it if they aren’t accepting donations right now – I’ll have to call and check.

Fixed bacon and quiche for dinner tonight. I got up too late to lay anything out to thaw. Jim is kind and accepts meals like that sometimes. Laid out some salmon for dinner for tomorrow night. Doing my best to get the freezer cleaned out before we leave in two weeks to go to KS to stay. We are trying to eat up all the food I had bought for our wedding brunch that didn’t happen. Makes for some quick meals when I use that stuff up.

It was a beautiful day in Stillwater today. The temperature got up to the low 80’s and the sun returned from its week long vacation and stayed out and played all day. We took a nice walk this evening after dinner. I didn’t have to wear a sweater and I didn’t get cold. Perfect weather for me! It is to be nice the next couple of days. I will enjoy that!

Feeling better today and not so cranky. I did have some problem with my B/P being too low again today. It was 90/50 at one point. Maybe the NyQuil lowers it? Not sure. Sure will be happy when my thyroid levels get sorted out and this problem goes away. It is becoming annoying.

We are still debating about going to CO in July. Jim has his heart set on going but things are still dicey. Sounds like access to the National Parks is going to be limited and it still feels a bit risky to me to go. Lots can happen in a months time so will play it by ear yet and decide later. We may not have a choice if things get bad again.

Our plan for tomorrow is to get up early and be on the road by mid morning. Jim likes to sleep in so we will see if that is what happens. We have no reason to have to get there early so it won’t really matter if we don’t get gone before noon. It is a long day going to and from in the same day but it will be good to see home for a hot minute.

I had cleaned out the spare room downstairs so he could turn it into a dark room and store his stuff in it. We have decided it isn’t big enough for all his stuff so think we will convert one of the Jack and Jill bedrooms into a storage room for him. I don’t plan on having guests for a bit and that will give him a room to store his stuff out of the way until he can sort through it all and decide what to do with it. We will have to store the two twin beds from that room in the furnace room but that is no problem. Combining two households gets tricky!

We haven’t had the TV on today so haven’t listened to any news. That helps my mood stay higher. I checked on headlines on my iPad news line but didn’t read many articles. I’m so worn out from the news. Time to take a news break.

My mood has been much higher today. Doing something productive has helped and getting a good night’s sleep helped too. I’m back into my peaceful valley of life and back to being a witness. Life is easier when I can stay here.

Grateful for a good night’s sleep, grateful for a perfect spring day, and grateful some painting got done today.

I didn’t accomplish anything today other than taking a nap this afternoon. It was another lazy day around here. Jim got some work done on the closet in the spare bedroom. He needs to do some more work to it before I can finish painting it. He painted the walls and I will paint the woodwork trim when he has it ready.

I did do some knitting this morning. I tied on the last of four skeins on the blanket I am making. Trying my best to get all my yarn used up. I need to finish a stack of blankets by tying in the ends and get them to the church as a donation. Not sure how many I made this winter but need to get them moved out of the house. I’m not sure the church is taking donations right now though.

We did take a walk after dinner. We didn’t get one last night so needed to get out and walk tonight. It does feel good to get out and move my body. Not sure why I resist doing so.

I fixed hamburgers on the grill tonight along with a green salad and tator tots. Easy meal and quick to clean up. Not sure what we are going to have tomorrow. I’m trying to get the freezer cleaned out. Only two more weeks before I go back to the prairie.

Got the sewing mess cleaned up yesterday. It is nice to have some empty space in the window box by the dining room table. I missed working on them today though. They gave me something to do each day. Still not going to order any more material though. It was an expensive time waster.

I am ready for the sun to come back from the long vacation it has been on. I have missed it! These rainy, cooler days are depressing after a bit. I will be complaining about the heat though when the sun comes back and will be wishing for some rain after a few days. Guess I am hard to please.

Feeling a bit like I am in the muck pond tonight. Tears are just behind the surface and I’m not sure why they are even there. I think I have picked up on the universal energy and am carrying stuff that isn’t mine. I need to take some time and be intentional about releasing it.

I just don’t understand the debate about wearing face masks. To me they represent a physical sign that I care about your safety. I’m doing all I know how to do to keep myself safe and not become a carrier without knowing it. Wearing a mask seems like an extra level of precaution in case I have picked it up without knowing it. Why would someone choose not to do that? I just don’t understand.

I had hopes that this pandemic would be a unifying event in the world. I see evidence of people pulling together and unifying at times but as a whole I don’t think people’s opinions about the bigger picture have changed. The great divide is still there. That makes me very sad.

Grateful for afternoon naps on cloudy days, grateful for hamburger and all the different ways to fix it, and grateful for the glimmers of hope and love I see at times in the world.

Another rainy day in Stillwater today. I have been dragging all day long. My get up and go got up and left me behind.

I finished all the face masks I had cut out. I have made 268 masks and am retiring for a bit. Last call if someone needs some masks let me know and I’ll mail some to you. I will find someone to give the rest of them to next week and won’t have any more to give away. If we continue to have to wear masks for the next couple of months I’ll probably make some more later.

It was nice to clean up the sewing machine mess and put it away for a bit. I was so tired of seeing the mess in the dining room.

The workers finished their job today. Jim had them do a bit more work than they had planned to do so he won’t have to go under the house and finish the job. It is nice to know that project is completely crossed off the long to-do list of things that need done on this house.

Jim has worked on cleaning out the closet in the spare bedroom today. When he gets it cleaned out and repaired I will paint it. He also has a door for it that I will need to paint. I also need to paint the boards he put up in the dining room. I didn’t have the energy to paint today.

We haven’t decided if we are going to Strong City to take a load tomorrow or wait until Monday. We have had to get up early all week and a day to sleep in sounds good. Guess we will decide in the morning.

I had another shift on the Crisis Text Hot Line last night. I only took two callers. The first one was easy and the second one was another case where they disengaged before we could get to problem solving. Those are hard cases for me as there is no resolution for either of us. I never know if I have said something wrong or if something happened on their end and they needed to go.
I have volunteered for 9 hours so far and have taken 9 calls. One more call and I will level up and off the newbie list. We have so many volunteers right now that we do a lot of waiting to get someone to chat with. That is a good thing though as texters don’t have to wait to chat with someone like they used to.

We had tacos for dinner tonight. I had laid out some hamburger last night and didn’t know what to do with it. Jim is always up for having tacos and they are easy. I had a taco salad. Now to decide what to fix for tomorrow night.

I texted with the grandkids today. Always fun to text with them. I sure am looking forward to being able to have them over for the night again. It has been over six months since they were able to do that.

We need to go take our walk. It is so icky out I have been dragging my feet getting out and walking today. Jim fell asleep on the couch just now so maybe I’ll get out of taking a walk today. I’m ready to go take my bath and go to bed but it is only 7:30. I’m just not very energetic today.

Grateful the face mask project phase 1 is complete, grateful the foundation project on the house is complete, and grateful for lazy, rainy days.

Another quiet day at home. So what is new? I worked on face masks and did some mowing today. I got 2/3 of the back yard mowed and need to go out and finish the rest of it as it has started to cool down. It got up to the mid 80’s today and I got too hot mowing.

I have about 30 more masks to sew and then I am retiring from making them for a bit. I am tired of the mess in the dining room. I keep finding pieces of thread all over the house. 268 masks is enough!

Jim and I took our walk this morning before it got too hot. We only walked one mile though.

The foundation workers showed up this morning around 8:45. They didn’t get done so will be back tomorrow. Jim is pleased with the job they are doing. It is one of the first things he has hired done on his house. It was a bit unsettling to him to watch someone else work on his house. I’m grateful he agreed to hire them though as it has taken four men over 30 hours to get the job done. I can’t imagine how long it would have taken Jim to do it by himself.

We had planned on taking another car load of stuff to Strong City tomorrow but since the workers are coming back we will have to wait until Saturday or Monday to do it. Not sure which day we will go now.

My B/P has been low again today and my pulse rate way too fast. I had to quit mowing twice as I was getting light headed. My body does not like heat or cold. I have a very narrow comfort range these days. Jim is finally understanding my limitations.

We are having stuffed chicken breasts for dinner. When we decided to have them Jim said he would fix the chicken. I told him he could fix the whole dinner. I haven’t had a day off from cooking for over two months. He agreed so is fixing dinner tonight. It will be a treat to eat food someone else fixed. Food always tastes better when someone else makes it.

My shift last night on the Crisis Hotline went well. I handled three calls. I have another shift tonight. I only need three more calls and I will move up to level 2. Not sure what that means exactly other than they don’t monitor what I am doing as closely. I haven’t gotten any feedback yet so assuming I am doing OK. They have hundreds of new volunteers and I’m sure they are struggling to monitor everyone closely. We were told we would get feedback often but so far I haven’t gotten any. No news is good news?

The old timers on the hotline are complaining that they don’t get To take as many calls as they used to as they have so many more volunteers. Not sure what the turnover rate is among the Volunteers but betting it is fairly high for new ones. I’m grateful so many people stepped up and volunteered so the texters don’t have To wait very long to get served. There are lots of hurting people out in the world right now that need some extra support.

It is getting easier to know what to say without having to look up something all the time. I did get a new to me type of call and had to look up how to handle it. Two of the three calls felt easy and satisfying and had only one that felt incomplete. I have served 7 our of the required 200 hours so far. That was easy!

Still riding life in my peaceful valley. It helped to get some physical exercise today mowing even though I got too hot. I do better when I remember to move my body.

Grateful the masks are all almost done, grateful for the three calls I handled last night, and grateful most of my mowing is done for the week.

Another quiet day at home. Not sure why I blog these days as most days look the same. The workers were here a little before 9:00 this morning. They made lots of noise today as they hammered, ran the power saw, etc. They are to return tomorrow and hopefully finish up the job.

I worked on face masks again today. Still not finished with all of them but I made a good dent in them today. Most of them are pinned and waiting to be sewed together. More ribbon came in today but I will put it aside and have it on hand if I decide to make more later this year. I don’t have anymore cotton or flannel so can’t cut out any more pieces. I’m tired of seeing the sewing mess by the dining room table and am ready to get it cleaned up for a bit.

Jim put up two pieces of woodwork today that fits over the door to the kitchen. He has some more finishing touches to do to them and then tomorrow I can get them painted. Little by little we are getting things done.

We took a one-mile walk this afternoon after it warmed up. It has been cloudy and cool again today. It did warm up to the mid 70’s this afternoon but it was windy enough it didn’t feel that warm. It is to be in the 80’s tomorrow and the sun may pop out and play for a bit. I’m ready for this rain to go away and for it to be sunny and warm again. I will need to mow when this rain is gone.

I fixed bacon, eggs and hash browns for dinner tonight. Makes an easy and quick dinner. Need to decide what I am going to fix for tomorrow night. That is the decision of the day!

I have my volunteer shift tonight with the Crisis Text Hot Line tonight between 10:00 and midnight. I’m looking forward to it. I trust the sheets I typed up will help me tonight. I have checked a couple of times over the last couple of days to see if they needed help but every time I checked they had less calls then counselors. They just brought on hundreds of new counselors.

I went to the post office this afternoon to drop off four letters that I wrote. I have enjoyed that project. Not sure I have kept up and written one a day but I have come close. When I get back to KS I will have my address book so can write to lots more people.

It sure is difficult to make many long-term plans these days. Everything feels so tentative. It is getting easier for me to accept that but it still catches me off guard sometimes. I am a planner and not knowing how to plan can be unsettling to me. Good thing everyone else is in the same predicament and there is a basic understanding how plans may have to change.

Grateful more face masks are completed, grateful for our walk today, and grateful I get to be in service on the hot line tonight.

Another quiet day at home. I worked on making masks again today. I have over 50 made and another 50 to go. If you need some masks let me know and I will get some in the mail to you. I don’t think I am going to make any more for a bit so speak up now before I give them away.

It was in the low 50’s here today and rainy and cloudy all day. I haven’t been outside at all today. I put my sweater on and take it off every ten minutes. My legs were cold so I put high socks on today. They don’t exactly match my shirt and sweater but no one but Jim saw me today so who cares.

I fixed chili in the crock pot for dinner tonight. It was good and it was a good day to have soup for dinner. Not sure what I am going to fix tomorrow night. I have enough chili left we could have it again but I will probably wait a night or two before I offer it again.

I remembered to call and get my ultrasound scheduled in Topeka for June. I had cancelled my appointment when the Endocrinologist changed my visit to an on-line visit. She wanted me to have it done in Topeka and told me it could wait until June. I will go to her clinic that day and get blood work done too.

Jim went to the post office to mail two packages and dropped off our recycling. Funny how running errands is note worthy these days. Before all of this I wouldn’t have even paid attention to the fact he left the house.

Our workers couldn’t work today due to the rain. They called this evening and told us they are planning on coming tomorrow. We will have to be up and ready for them in the morning. It will be good when they get that job done. Jim has wanted to do that project for a long time. We keep crossing things off his very long to-do list. We aren’t close to being finish but sure have made some nice progress the last couple of months.

I filed for the special unemployment today. KS finally got the details pulled together and are now accepting claims from self-employed people. Not sure if I qualify as I didn’t have lots of business last year but decided to try. I am more interested in how the process works than getting the funds. I want to be able to help others if needed and the best way to do that is to actually go through the process myself.

I deposited my stimulus check using the on-line feature of my on-line bank on Saturday. It got deposited into my account today. I find that process fascinating – not sure I understand how they do that but am grateful they can.

I mailed two letters yesterday but didn’t write one today. Still may get that done tonight. I need to do something productive this evening. Other than making masks I haven’t done anything today. I don’t like days like this when I don’t feel productive.

My housesitter sends me a text with pictures of the mail I receive at home. My water bill finally showed up. It had gotten caught in the mail circle between the two places. I think it made it to Stillwater and went back to Strong City and back to Stillwater and finally back to Strong City. Wish I could travel like that!

Neither one of us has been a ball of energy the last couple of days. Not sure if it is just weather related or what. We had been working hard a couple of days and maybe we just needed to a couple days of rest and slowing down a bit. I have never been able to figure out what causes my energy to come and go day by day. Trusting both of us will find more energy tomorrow and will get back to getting some more work done.

Grateful for more masks made, grateful for delicious chili for dinner, and grateful we can take a day for rest when needed.

A non-productive day today. We had to get up early as the workers showed up to work on the foundation of the house. I didn’t sleep well last night but was sleeping well when the alarm went off.

It has been a cool, cloudy day in Stillwater today. No sprinkles but it sure feels like it good rain at any moment. Rain is in the forecast for the rest of the week. I don’t know if the workers will be back tomorrow as they can’t do what they are doing if it is raining.

The ribbon I ordered all came in today. I can get the last 120 masks made up now. I have decided not to make any more for a bit. I’m getting tired of them. If anyone needs some masks let me know. I will find someone to donate a bunch to the end of the week. I’ll save some back for us to use and if we hear of someone that needs some.

Other than making a few masks today I haven’t done anything. I took a nap this afternoon. We took a walk after lunch today. Neither one of us have been very motivated to do anything today.

Jim has been a bit antsy having others work on his house. He has done most all of the work on his house and isn’t used to having someone else in to work on it. They are doing it differently than he would have and that increases his nervousness. Luckily he agrees with what they are doing and realizes had he tried to do this job himself he might have run into some issues.

Jim and I talked at dinner about how weird it is to have others on the property. Jim tried to maintain his distance of the workers and remember to wash his hands if he touched the same tools that they used. We will both have it in the back of our minds for the next 14 days that we were in closer contact with someone else. I wonder how long we will continue to think like this? The guys that are working on the house are the type that are not taking this virus thing very seriously. They did honor Jim’s request to wear the face masks Jim gave him when they had to come into the house which was minimal.

We cleaned out the refrigerator and had left overs for dinner. I did’t fix much last night and nothing tonight. It is nice to have the refrigerator cleaned out again. Tomorrow I am going to make chili. It is to be rainy and cool all day tomorrow and a good day for a crock pot meal.

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. Not sure what we will do if the workers can’t come due to the rain. I will probably continue to work on making face masks. I want to get my sewing mess cleaned up. I’m tired of looking at it as it has been sitting out for weeks.

Still living life in my peaceful valley. I feel like I have been bouncing a bit in and out today but have managed to keep my grounding and return to my center. I do better when I am busy and I don’t have a project other than masks to work on right now. I might have to break down and clean house tomorrow to give me something to do. I’ll see how desperate I get!

Grateful the ribbon came in today so I can get the mask project finished up, grateful the workers are getting a tough job done and JIm didn’t have to go under the house to do a dangerous job, and grateful for cool afternoon naps.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers of the world. Physical birthing does not a mother make though. Mothering happens in many ways. Mother’s Day is not my favorite day of the year. I don’t like artificial celebrations and that is what it feels like to me.

We have had another quiet day at home. I did go to Walmart today to pick up a few things. I found some ribbon so can make 19 masks while I am waiting for the ribbon I ordered to come in. I have the ribbon pinned to the masks and will get them sewed up tomorrow. I would say about 40% of the customers at Walmart had masks on today. Most of the workers did. It does feel safer to me when someone I pass in the isles has a face mask on.

We have some workers coming tomorrow to lift up the SE corner of the house. I needed a project to do while they are here. Unfortunately it will only take me a little over an hour to get the masks sewed up. Maybe the ribbon will come in the mail tomorrow and I can finish up some more.

I baked Jim Oatmeal Chocolate Chip cookies today and then made some banana bread. I like to bake and he likes to eat! Wish I were in KS so I could have shared some of the cookies with my grandchildren.

We worked out in the back yard some this afternoon. I did a bit of mowing and helped Jim with his wood stacking project. He had stored some wood under the back deck and needed to pull it all out so the workers can have access to the foundation tomorrow. He had another stack of wood in the back yard. He went through both stacks and made a big throw away pile and then has worked to stack the wood he wants to keep and get it under a plastic cover. Another project that has been on his list for a long time.

It is to rain the next couple of days. It has sprinkled a bit this evening. Maybe he can get the two drawers for the kitchen finished tomorrow so we can take down the card table that has been in the living room for the last several months. We will see what his project of the day turns out to be tomorrow. He always surprises me with what he chooses to work on.

When I went to Walmart today I forgot to take my letters to mail so will need to do that tomorrow. I want to write a few more letters so maybe will wait and mail all of them in one trip.

I logged on to the Crisis Hot Line Platform a couple times the last few days to see if they needed help but each time I have checked they had plenty of volunteers. We can sign on anytime and take calls but they ask us not to if they aren’t busy so the volunteers that have signed up for that time can have something to do. Most calls come in the evening and into the night.

Hoping to get some more mowing done tomorrow but I will have to see what the weather decides to do. We are to get rain off and on over the next couple of days. If I can’t mow I need to find another project to do. I keep running out of projects! I do so much better when I have things to do – even if I decide not to do them. I don’t cope well when I have nothing on my to do list most of the time. Some old habits are harder than others to break.

It was good to get out for a bit today. The trip to Walmart didn’t feel so strange to me today. I got what I needed and came home. I didn’t waste time in the store and for the most part was able to find everything I wanted. People seemed to be less scared and most were honoring the six foot distancing recommendations as best they could.

Feeling a bit restless tonight. Not sure what is behind it. I am getting anxious to get back to KS. Three more weeks and that will happen. It has been six months since I lived there full time. Not sure I have been away from home that long before. I have gone back three times for four to six days at a time during those six months but haven’t put down my roots. My soul is needing to do that soon. I’m sure these three weeks will go past quickly. It just feels like it is still a long time to my heart.

Grateful for all the women that have mothered me over the years, grateful for my own mother and all the ways she showed love to me, and grateful for my children that taught me how to be a mother.

I was surprised when I looked at my iPad to see what day of the week it was and it said Saturday. Not sure what day I thought it was but it doesn’t feel like a Saturday.

Last night at 10:00 Jim drove me to the top of a hill so we could watch the moon come up. Thursday night was the full moon but I missed it. The moon last night was almost full and beautiful! Afterwards we drove around Boomer Lake and watched the light of the moon reflect on the water. My soul needed that last night!

I got up this morning and went out and painted for a bit. I have low B/P again today – it was 97/55 when I came in from painting because I was a bit light headed. I stayed off the ladder out of an abundance of caution. After Jim got up he helped me finish up the painting of the garage. It sure looks nice. Next up is fixing the roof and adding a garage door. Getting closer to having it completed.

This afternoon Jim has been moving the wood that he has stored under the back porch to a pile in the yard. He has some workers coming Monday to level the SE corner of the house and they will need access under the porch. He has wanted to get the wood out from under the porch for a long time and is finally having to do so.

We loaded up a bunch of old, rusted cans of paint and put them in his Element so he can take them to be recycled at the hazardous waste place. Slowly but surely some projects he has wanted to do for a long time are getting done.

I pulled weeds in the new flower bed for a bit. Had to stop and come in and get dinner in the oven. We are having scalloped potatoes with ham. One of Jim’s favorite meals. I enjoy them too although I prefer not to eat white potatoes.

I got the lost meds today in the mail. I also got my stimulus check via a paper check. Two things I can now cross off my pending list. I ordered a check to be sent to the Vet to pay for the meds. I deposited my stimulus check using the on-line deposit feature with my bank. I love how easy that is to use.

It was in the mid 70’s here today. It has been a beautiful day to be outside working. There has been a light breeze and lots of bright blue skies. It got down to the low 40’s last night but warmed up nicely today. It is to get down to 38 tonight but get up to the low 60’s tomorrow. We have lots of rain in the forecast for next week.

It’s been a good day although I have been a tad light headed off and on. I would paint for a bit then come in and rest and then go back out. I stuck with it and got the job done. I even got the other paint color out and fixed my oops and covered the nail heads on the sheets that were painted and then put up. I like seeing the results of a good day’s work.

No ribbon came in today so I don’t have a project for tomorrow to work on. Maybe Jim will find me something to do outside. I do need to clean house again. I need to start making a list of the things I want to take back to KS with me in three weeks. We might go take another load one day next week. It is good to get out and see the open prairie and heavens knows we have lots of stuff to move. I can’t really tell that we moved a load out of the spare bedroom. It is pretty full of stuff.

Still haven’t felt comfortable getting out and going shopping yet. Don’t anticipate I will do so for some time yet. I just don’t trust restaurants yet – even for carry out. Not sure what it will take to get me out again. I don’t really see case counts dropping much in either Oklahoma or Kansas – in fact both continue to rise daily. I don’t think this is even near over with yet. It may be an interesting summer and fall.

Grateful the garage painting project is done, grateful the pet meds showed up, and grateful I received my stimulus check.

A quiet day at home today. I did some work on organizing my notes for the Crisis Hot Line. I typed up the most common responses I used by category so I can find them easier and be able to respond quicker. It feels good to have them better organized. I’ll see next week if it helps me.

I had another two hour shift last night. I took two calls. One felt really good but the other one not so much. Still learning how to let them tell me what they want and yet steer them towards problem solving. I’ll get better at it with practice.

I went on the platform this afternoon for a bit. They have a section of information we can give to our clients when appropriate. I hadn’t spent time looking at what all was available so I spent some time doing that today. The platform is becoming more comfortable for me. My next scheduled shift is next Wednesday night but I can go on without being scheduled anytime and pick up a few extra hours. They especially need help between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am. If I am awake and can’t sleep during that time I might jump on and take a call.

Cut out the other sheet I had ordered for face masks and am sewing the flannel and sheet pieces together. Still waiting on more ribbon to show up so I can finish this last batch. I have about 100 more to make and then I think I will be done for a bit. If we have to continue wearing masks all year I will make some more later.

It was too wet and windy today to finish my painting job. We had a severe thunderstorm roll through last night and the ground was still pretty wet today. I needed to work on a ladder and the ground felt too soft to support it. Jim got the other windows framed and he filled the holes with putty. He is out sanding them down now so I will be able to paint in the morning.

Made white chicken chili for dinner tonight using the left over chicken and rice from last night. The chili was really good. Have enough left over for two more meals. I froze one container and we will eat the other container for lunches the next couple of days.

Tomorrow night I am going to fix scallop potatoes with ham. It is one of Jim’s favorite dishes. Once I know what to fix dinner is easy – it is deciding what to fix that stops me sometimes. We haven’t eaten out for over two months now. Not sure when I might feel comfortable doing so again.

Went to the post office and dropped off three letters I had written yesterday. I need to write a few more tonight if the mood hits me.

Jim and I are getting ready to go take our evening walk. The wind has finally slowed down and it doesn’t feel as cold outside as it did earlier. The sun is to be out to play all day tomorrow but it is going to dip down below 40 tomorrow night. It warms back up again after next Tuesday.

I finally got a good night’s sleep last night. I was able to sleep for several hours without waking up and was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly when I did wake up. It feels like it has been several weeks since I have had a good night’s sleep. I’m grateful for sleep when it finds me.

My house sitter sent me pictures of some mail I had received at home today. I’m glad to know the mail is finally coming through there. If it looks important I have her open it and send me a picture of what is in the envelope. One of the pieces she sent me today was an invoice for house insurance for one of my rental properties. I was able to go on-line and get that billed paid – that was easy!

I missed seeing the full moon rise last night as it was cloudy here. It rises tonight at 10:06 so may take a drive tonight so I can watch the moon rise. It has been too long since I have seen it rise. Three more weeks before I am back home on the prairie – I’m getting excited! Sure hope the coronavirus doesn’t delay me going home again.

Still riding in my peaceful valley. Today was an easy day for me. I am grateful and don’t take them for granted.

Grateful for the delicious white chicken chili we had for dinner, grateful I have found ways to be in service to others via the Text Hot Line and making face masks, and grateful for a good night’s sleep.

My first shift on the Crisis Text Hot Line went well. I took two calls and was able to get them both to a calmer state of mind. For the first ten hours I volunteer I can only take one call at a time and only work four hours a week. After I get to Level 2, which happens after 10 hours of volunteering, I can work up to 12 hours a week and take two calls at a time. After level 3 which happens after 20 hours of volunteering I can take up to three calls at a time.

It took a bit to get assigned to a call and sometimes I waited for 5 – 10 minutes for them to respond. The time went fast though and I enjoyed it. I look forward to my shift tonight.

I spent some time this morning organizing my class notes better and putting them into folders. Last night I struggled to find the paper I was looking for. I’lll see if this works better for me tonight.

Found out today by reading some more on their site that I can stay over to finish a call. Last night my last call ended at 11:45 and I didn’t take another call as I didn’t know if I had to rap it up at shift end at midnight. Most calls take 45 minutes to complete. If that happens tonight I will take another call and work a bit over my scheduled time off.

Went out this morning and filled nail holes with putty so I could paint this afternoon. I had to dodge the rain sprinkles that happened off and on this morning and early afternoon. The sprinkles were more off than on. I got the window and door frames Jim had put up yesterday painted. He is working on finishing some more window frames so I will have some more painting to do when he gets them done. Rain is in the forecast for tomorrow so may not get them painted tomorrow.

I put a chicken in the crock pot this morning and served it with brown rice and broccoli for dinner. I’m going to turn the left over chicken into White Chicken Chili for dinner tomorrow night. Think I will put the left over rice in with it. My recipe doesn’t call for rice but I think it will work.

Jim took 75 face masks to the Stillwater Police Department for them to distribute to local people that need a mask. They were out of them so were happy to receive them. I am waiting on more ribbon to come in so I can finish my next batch of masks. The slow mail delivery sure makes this project drag out. I don’t think I will order any more material when I get the last 75 or so made. Enough is enough of a good thing.

My new prescription of thyroid medication came in today. That was fast! I am anxious to see if the non-generic version will make a difference. I’ll take my first one tomorrow. I hate to waste medication and have an almost full bottle of the 112 and 125 generic left over. Anyone use it and want them?

Wrote three letters today. I am behind as I haven’t been writing one a day. I may write some more letters tonight while Jim is still outside working. I use his computer to write on as it is hooked up to the printer. I keep him busy taking letters to the post office most days. Our mail carrier won’t pick up letters in the box to mail right now.

I am tired tonight. I didn’t get to bed until late as I didn’t get done with my shift until almost midnight. I would sleep for about an hour than be up for two hours and repeated that cycle all night long. At some point I got up and took another bath. That helped me fall asleep quicker. I look forward to my thyroid levels smoothing out and my sleep returning to a more normal cycle.

Finally feeling like I am back into my smooth valley of life. Things are slowly leveling out for me again and I am back into my observer role instead of reactionary one. Life is much easier for me when I can observe instead of react.

Grateful my new meds arrive so quickly, grateful I had a painting job to do today, and grateful my first shift went well.

Tonight at 10:00 is my first two hour shift on the Crisis Text Hot Line. I’m excited to see how this works and how I react. I have a shift tomorrow night too.

Called the Vet’s office today. I got a bill for three doses of the dogs and cats medications and only picked up one with another one in the mail lost some where. They figured out the mistake and took one dose off my bill. I sent a check for one dose and we are waiting to see if the lost package ever shows up before I pay for it.

Called the post office in Strong City today to alert them to the fact my forwarding orders expired and they need to start delivering mail to me. The regular guy wasn’t there so hoping the lady will take care of it. I’ll have to remember to check with my house sitter to see if I am getting any mail.

I was on-line at my banking site to order the check for the vet and remembered I hadn’t paid my May 1 water bill. I had to call to find out the amount I owe as I haven’t received my bill yet. Glad I remembered it hadn’t been paid. I hate paying late fees.

The sheets I ordered to cut up for face masks came in today. I have one cut into pieces. I matched the sheet pieces with the flannel piece and have sewed the first seam in about 50 more masks. I only have enough ribbon to finish making about 15 of them. Have them pinned and will get them sewed together either tonight or in the morning. I am to get more ribbon in the mail tomorrow if the post office delivers as promised.

I still haven’t received my stimulus money. I read a post on Facebook that some other friends haven’t received theirs yet either so maybe mind will be coming soon. Good thing I am not waiting on it to pay bills or buy groceries.

I am also waiting on a check from the church here in Stillwater. They are refunding the money we paid to use the church for our planned wedding. Not sure when that check will be arriving. Hope it is not caught up in my mail cycle from hell. Who knew getting mail was so complicated.

I have had a better day emotionally and physically than I did yesterday. Having masks to work on helped. I was really sad last night after such a short trip home. Seeing Ellexia made me realize how much I am missing not being able to see the grandkids weekly. I wouldn’t have been able to see them if I was at home in Strong City. Sometimes the effect of this “pause” time hits me hard and it rocks me.

Jim and I keep thinking of businesses and ways that this shut down is really hurting. We wonder how many will not survive and what the world will be like a year from now. Sometimes I think my imagination is too small to imagine what all the effects will be. Maybe it will be years before the full impact is known.

We took a one-mile walk this afternoon and picked up a sack of trash along the way. Jim got a grabber pole so he doesn’t have to touch the bottles and cans we pick up. He lives on a major road and way too many people throw things out of their car windows as they pass by.

It was in the upper 70’s today – a perfect weather day. Tomorrow afternoon or evening we are to get some rain.

I dead-headed the big rose bush this afternoon. Found lots of new buds hiding under the almost gone roses. The roses are really putting on a show this year.

Grateful today is my first hot line shift, grateful for the perfect weather today, and grateful the sheets I ordered came in today.