Starry night on the prairie

Had a quick trip to Topeka today. I got to my Endocrinologist appointment about 20 minutes early. I was surprised they called me back five minutes after I got there. The efficient nurse took down my information and took my vitals. My blood pressure was 118/75 today which is spot on.

Five minutes after she was done the doctor came in. We visited for about ten minutes. She never gives me the impression she is in a hurry. Everything checked out fine with my labs and the physical exam she did today.

I asked her about taking B Complex. I take B6 now to help my body absorb Potassium but wanted to add the other B Vitamins. She said “at your age” your body can easily hold on to too much B Vitamins so she recommended I take a B Complex every other day. Man! Does she have to remind me I am old! Ha!

I showed her my 5.4 A1C results and she said that was perfect. She was glad I had it checked and was very pleased with the results.

I asked her if stress can cause my TSH levels to bounce. I explained my life over the last four years to her and she said it is very possible that is why I have had trouble balancing my levels. She said she will be looking forward to seeing me in a year to see if they have stabilized. Anytime I want to have my levels checked, I am to send her a message through My Chart and she will order them to be done.

She agreed to lower my dose of Tirosint to 112 from the 125. I had a couple of TSH levels below 2 and I don’t like them that low. She agreed that my target is between 2 and 3, although she said it is very hard to stay within that range every time. She said for my heart health, higher than 2.0 is better.

She asked me what my major health concern is and I told her trouble sleeping. She said if she asked 100 women “my age” what their major concern was, 99 of them would also say sleep. She said she doesn’t have any good solutions to offer for it. She advised me to stay away from prescription sleeping pills as they can send you down a path that you really don’t want to go. She told me the person that can solve the sleep issue will become a billionaire as it is a huge issue and no real solutions.

I love visiting with her and appreciate that she does a lot of research and seems up-to-date on supplements, solutions and issues. She is a good listener and takes my suggestions seriously.

I booked my annual visit with her and her first available appointment is in February 2025. I will see her PA twice between now and then and she is always quick to respond to my questions and concern via My Chart messages.

After I left the doctor’s office I went to Chipotle and had lunch. It is one of my favorite places to eat and I reward myself after most doctor appointments in Topeka with a stop.

I then went to Hy-Vee and got a turkey and ham. The first turkey I looked at weighted a little over 25 pounds. Score one for me! I got that and a 12 pound ham. We should have plenty of both to eat for Thanksgiving. I picked up a few other things while I was there. They had butter on sale so got four pounds of that. I had remembered to take my cooler so I was good to get refrigerator things. Also got some yogurt and a few other things on my list.

The drive up and back was easy. When I got home I asked Kathy if she ever had out-loud conversations with herself when she was alone in the car. She said she did and even does it downstairs. Glad I am not the only one. I had the best conversation with myself on the way to Topeka. I realized how different I sound now then I would have a year ago. Progress on my healing journey! I appreciate it and am grateful for it and all those that helped me get here.

I need to take trash down to the curb and do chicken chores when I get done writing. It is in the mid 70’s out today but a touch windy. It was a beautiful day to drive to Topeka. Most of the road construction on the turnpike has been completed. Getting off in Topeka was a bit weird as they are repairing the exit bridge but getting on to come home was no problem.

Tomorrow mid-day I am going to town to get my haircut. I had it cut before I went on vacation the first part of September and haven’t had it cut since. It is way overdue to be cut. I got my hairdresser a bag of peppermint bark candy today and I will also give him two dozen eggs as his Christmas present tomorrow as I won’t see him again until after Christmas. I’m such a big spender! Ha!

Thursday I have to go back to Topeka to see the retina specialist. Sure hoping I get good news there too. Kathy is going with me as it is hard for me to drive home after getting my eyes dilated. I hate when they do that. I usually get almost a migraine headache from it.

If my eyes adjust back to normal, I will go back in to Emporia Thursday afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer. I told her I might not be able to come. I need to be able to drive and sometimes that takes me a bit to do that after my eyes are treated.

Nothing else is on my calendar through the weekend. I need to start cleaning house Friday and get it in shape so I can have Tuesday and Wednesday next week free to buy groceries and start cooking. Hoping we get some rain over the weekend like the forecast is calling for so the dust will settle a bit and things will stay dust free for longer than a day.

I managed to get the rest of the tea towels stamped without mishap last night. I still can’t believe I screwed up twice using the same pattern. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself and the silly things I do. Grateful I had extra tea towels on hand and it didn’t create a problem.

This is day 10 of a weight loss plateau. I hate when I do that. I remember doing it last time I lost weight. Part of the process but man is it hard not to see that number on the scale drop. I will keep on doing what I am doing and sooner or later the scale will be my friend again.

One of the Christmas presents I ordered for the grandkids came in today. I should be receiving lots of packages over the next week or so. Always relieved when they show up. I have until December 9 so should have plenty of time for them all to get here. I will need some time to get them wrapped too.

Sitting in a very good place today. I loved the conversation I had with my Endocrinologist today. She made me feel heard and seen. I trust her judgement and advice. Can’t ask for much more then that from a doctor.

Grateful for good news at the doctor’s office today, grateful I found a bigger turkey and ham today, and grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka.

I have been working on stamping tea towels today. I stamped one upside down so tried it again and I did the same damn thing again! Man! Sometimes the simple things in life are not so simple. Third time was a charm and I got it. I took a break after that and need to get back to stamping the rest of them. Trusting the embroidery will be easier then the stamping.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie. Loving temperatures in the high 60’s for mid November. Hope it stays this way for several more weeks. We sure could use some rain though.

I have to be at my Endocrinologist office by 10:45 in the morning for my 11:00 appointment. She usually runs pretty close to on time and the visit will be short as all my labs came back normal. After that appointment I am going to Chipotle for lunch and then to a grocery store to get a ham and a turkey. Hoping to find a big turkey but a smaller one will work since I am fixing a ham this year too. I need to remember to put the cooler in the car before I leave tomorrow. I need some yogurt and would rather not have to stop in Emporia when I come home.

Thursday I have to go back to Topeka to go to the retina specialist. Kathy is going with me then as they will dilate my eyes and it is hard to drive when they do that. Hoping this will be a quick and easy visit and they won’t have to do laser surgery again. I will be interested in seeing how my cataracts are doing. From what I have read, you are almost guaranteed to get cataracts after having a retina detachment which I had earlier this year.

No plans for the weekend. I will need to get my housecleaning done so the house is ready for the company coming Thanksgiving Day. I still have room at our table if you need a place to have dinner. I always fix way too much food and have plenty of room available. The more – the merrier. I love having a full house that day.

I need to check with Ellexia to see if she is cheering this week. I haven’t heard yet. She usually has games on Tuesdays and Thursday and since I have to go to Topeka I may need to skip this week if she is cheering.

I got all my Christmas presents ordered earlier this week. I shall see if they all come in and are what I want. I like to allow lots of extra time as I don’t like the stress of last minute shopping. It will be good to get them all here and accounted for. Then I can get them wrapped and be done. Shopping for others, or even myself, is not my favorite thing to do.

Went back and read some old blogs last night. I can see things in them now that I wasn’t seeing at the time. It is amazing how often I fell into the muck pond a couple of years ago. That should have been a clue for me that something wasn’t right. I rarely fall in these days and if I do, I don’t hang out there like I used to. Funny how the obvious isn’t so obvious when you are in the middle of it.

I’m grateful for my blog. It is a wonderful record of my life and how I have changed over time. I was reading some that happened when Covid first started. Oh my, what a time that was. I still wonder what the long-term effects on all of us are from that time. I don’t think we have seen the last of it either. The world is a different place now and was forever changed as a result of Covid. Wonder what my grandkids will tell their kids about living through Covid when they are my age?

This is my third day at home and I have loved every minute of it. I’m grateful the effect of the Shingles vaccine was limited to one day of it. I did run a bit of a temperature last night but it never got over 100.5 so it wasn’t bad. Haven’t run one today so think I am over it. The reaction wasn’t as bad as I feared it might be. I will get my second vaccine for shingles sometime in January when I have a couple free days in a row.

Sirius has their Christmas music channel up and running. The best part of Christmas for me is the music. I will play it almost daily between now and Christmas. I rarely get tired of it. Not sure what it is about Christmas music but it touches my very soul and stirs up long ago memories. I must be getting old!

The only other part of Christmas I like is making special Christmas goodies. I will get those started the week after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I have made many of them for the grandkids throughout the year so they won’t be quite as special for them this year. They seem to taste better when you only get them once a year. I haven’t made them for several months so maybe they will be special this year.

Sitting in a good head space today even with my tea towel stamping mishap. Things are still shifting inside as a result of the boundary work I am doing and learning. I feel my personal power returning. It has been missing for some time. The empty space inside is feeling like it is full of potential and possibilities and that is a good feeling.

Grateful for past blogs that remind me of how I have changed, grateful for three free days at home, and grateful my Christmas shopping is done.

I am feeling back to normal today. Yesterday was a bit tough but the reaction to the vaccine is over and I am back to normal. I have even gotten a few cleaning chores done today. So grateful it only lasted 24 hours.

Had an interesting experience today with boundaries. Someone, with the best of intentions, violated my boundaries today. I was able to immediately recognize it for what it was and was able to respond appropriately. When things continued to escalate, I was able to remove myself from the situation. Wow! That was easy!

I have been thinking all morning how there have been times in the past when I was the one that violated other people’s boundaries. Even though I had the best of intentions, it was still a violation. The class I took gave me a visual description of boundaries that was ever so helpful to me this morning.

Put yourself in a box and draw a border around it. Within this box are your beliefs, feelings, opinions, truths, dreams, fears, etc. that people don’t know about you unless you have shared them with someone. Draw a bigger box around that box and the space between the two boxes is what my class instructor calls your garden. The garden holds things that most people easily know about you. Examples might include where you live, if you are single or married, how many children you have, your profession, and perhaps causes that you hold near to you and share openly, etc. Those two boxes represent all that you ever need to be concerned about.

Whatever anyone else has in their own garden or inner box, is their business to hold and carry. I don’t have the right to agree or disagree with whatever people carry in their gardens and others don’t get to agree or disagree with what I choose to carry in my garden.

When someone offers you unsolicited advice, they have come uninvited into your garden and that is a boundary violation. The instructor of the class uses the motto “Honor Self and Honor Others”. That means when someone violates your boundaries, the first thing you do is honor self and recognize the behavior for what it is – a boundary violation. No one has to tolerate this violation of their own personal garden space. Then you honor the violator by gently telling them thanks, but no thanks. If the behavior continues you then take action to disengage yourself from them in what ever way feels appropriate. If the violation continues in the future, then you can disengage even further from them.

Somehow having a visual, helped me to see the behavior today for what it was and made it easy to recognize. My prayer is now I will remember not to violate someone else’s boundaries, regardless of how good intentioned I am. What happened today was not vicious or meant to cause harm. They sincerely were trying to help me. But, it was still a boundary violation and one that I needed to respond to.

I choose a course of action that was new to me and I handled the situation much differently then I would have in the past. That felt good! This class was worth taking. Ever so grateful I was able to recognize what was happening and take the appropriate action. I was able to stay out of blame and anger and not get pulled into a negative spiral.

Now I need to remember this lesson when I am on the other side of the garden and am tempted to offer unsolicited advice to others. “Not my garden, not my business” is my new motto.

I got the patterns I am going to stamp on tea towels cut out and ready to go. I need to go downstairs and dig out the blank tea towels and get them stamped. It will be fun to work them up. The pattern ended up having 20 patterns so will be able to make three sets of tea towels if I repeat one of the patterns. Embroidery work is relaxing for me so looking forward to getting at them.

Got my office cleaned today. Tagen had pulled out the bookcase to unhook his gaming devices when he moved and I had never bothered to push it back into place. I cleaned behind it today and got it put back together again. I had stacked some give away boxes in the office and I moved those to my car so I can get rid of them. Little things but it feels so good.

Not feeling well yesterday reminded me how grateful I need to be everyday that I wake up and feel good. I should never take my health for granted and need to appreciate more the good days.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today with bright blue skies. The temperature is in the high 60’s. It is a touch windy but not bad. It can stay this way the rest of winter.

Kathy and I both looked for the Northern Lights last night. We both saw some light rims that were unusual but not sure they were the Northern Lights. Maybe? Seeing the Northern Lights is still on my bucket list. I came ever so close on the flight to the UK this fall. They were gone by the time I was told about them.

Feeling like I have opened a lot of free space within me. Not carrying other people’s stuff is freeing. I really had no idea how much of it I had been doing. The free space inside feels wonderful and light.

Grateful for the lesson on boundaries today, grateful the effects of the vaccine were short-lived, and grateful for the empty space within.

Grateful I had nothing on my calendar to do today as nothing would have gotten done. The vaccine side effect hit me during the night. I woke up shivering and cold to the bone in the middle of the night. I finally got up and got some Tylenol and then turned on my electric blanket.

My temperature has bounced between 100.0 and 101.5 all day today. I have a bad headache and feel achy. Hoping the worst of it is over and by tomorrow I will be back to normal.

I managed to eat a cup of chicken with rice soup sometime today. May try some yogurt in a bit but may not. Am doing my best to get fluids down so I don’t get dehydrated.

From what I have read this reaction can last up to three days but am hoping for only today. Not fun! I feel better right now then I have all day so maybe the worst is over.

Grateful I had a free day today, grateful for chicken with rice soup, and grateful for water to drink.

I went to Emporia around 11:00 to get my shingles vaccine. I had gotten the other series of them but supposedly this new vaccine is much more effective. Came home with a headache and took some Tylenol and have felt fine since. Crossing my fingers I don’t wake up not feeling well tomorrow but we shall see. I have the next three days free in case I have a reaction.

While I was at Walmart I picked up some groceries. Got the stuff to make a big batch of Chex Mix which is one of my kiddos favorite things. Got a few gifts for our Christmas games as well as a few other things for my Thanksgiving Dinner. Walmart had turkey size roasting bags today so got those.

Cleaned out my bedroom closet today as well as all the bathroom drawers. Feels good to have those places organized and clutter removed. I can now find what I am looking for without digging through a drawer.

No plans for the weekend. Pioneer Bluffs is having an event tomorrow. I would like to go hear the panel discussion on bison and may go down for that but I will see how I am feeling. Things always sound fun to go to until I have to leave the house and go and then they don’t sound as fun. I do like to stay home.

I ordered a new tea towel pattern and it came in today. I may go down and dig out some blank tea towels and get them stamped and get to work embroidering them. I love doing that and haven’t done it for a long time. I still have over a dozen sets I have done before that I haven’t found a home for. This pattern was so cute I couldn’t resist ordering it. I’ll see how I do with it and may end up doing a bunch more sets. Not sure what I will do with them but that has never stopped me before!

Made a crock pot of green chicken today. It was yummy. I needed something different to eat for my lunch/dinner. That fit the bill. I have leftovers for the next couple of days. It is so easy to fix and I really like it. You put raw chicken tenderloins in the crock pot and dump a bottle of green salsa or guacamole dip over them and cook on high for 3 -4 hours. They are very tender and have a wonderful flavor.

I am up to 11 confirmed people coming for Thanksgiving dinner and have six or eight on a maybe list. Still have room for more. Heavens know I fix enough food for 30 or more. Please come if you are looking for a place to have dinner Thanksgiving Day. We will eat around 1:00. No reservations needed and no need to bring anything. I love having a full house that day. When you have abundance in your life, build a bigger table! I have abundance in my life and am working on building a bigger table.

I got some Christmas cards while I was at Costco last weekend. I need to start getting them addressed. I am waiting for some inspiration to write my annual Christmas letter. One of these days I will find the right words to describe this year. It has been a challenging one in many ways but there have been some incredibly wonderful things happen too. Not too many people still do Christmas cards these days. I hate to see that tradition go away.

The kiddos are slowly giving me their Christmas wish list. So far they have each only given me one thing. I got those things ordered. I still need a couple more ideas from Ellexia and then they will be taken care of. Jason gave me some ideas for Cody so will attempt to get his gifts ordered sometime this weekend. I like to allow for lots of time for things to get here so I am not stressing about them. I am not the best at buying gifts for others and like to get it done and over with.

It’s funny how organizing and cleaning out closets and drawers make me feel. The house feels cleaner to me already and I am not near done cleaning. The house also feels calmer and less chaotic to me. Doesn’t make sense from a logic perspective but from an emotional one it does. Still have some cabinets in the kitchen to clean out and a miscellaneous drawer here or there to go through, Wonder how long they will stay clutter free?

Grateful for vaccines that reduce the severity of diseases or even prevents disease in my body, grateful for the Christmas shopping I have completed, and grateful for new tea towel patterns to work up.

I got a bonus full day at home as Ellexia’s cheerleading got canceled for the day. Always grateful when I get to stay home all day.

Took the chickens some straw when I did chores today. As it gets colder I use the deep straw method to help keep them warmer. Every month during the cold months I add a thick layer of straw to their coop and don’t clean out the old stuff. They love having new straw put into the coop. They will spend the rest of the afternoon and most of the day tomorrow rearranging it to their liking. They are fun to watch do that.

Had a good conversation with a dear friend. We haven’t seen each other for a long time and needed to catch up with each other. The road to Manhattan opens November 22 so sometime shortly after that we will meet in Council Grove and have a long lunch together. Face-to-face is always more fun for me then over the phone.

Still working on finishing up cleaning my bedroom and bathroom. Last night I cleaned out my underwear and sock drawer. I threw away some socks that I didn’t like and won’t wear as well as some underwear that had long since seen better days. Got the bedside night stand drawers cleaned out. It feels so good to have those things cleaned out. I have a couple drawers in the bathroom that need cleaned out too. I don’t like cluttered drawers and not being able to find what I want immediately.

Tomorrow I have to be at Walmart at 11:20 to get the first of my shingles vaccine. I have the weekend free in case I have a reaction to it. Next thing on my calendar isn’t until Tuesday when I have to be in Topeka by 10:45 to see my Endocrinologist. I get to go back to Topeka Thursday to see my retinal specialist.

We were without power between 8:00 and 11:00 this morning. The electric company had called, emailed and texted me to let me know this was going to happen. I appreciate their efforts to keep me informed of the planned outage. They had promised it would be back on by noon and they beat their promise by an hour. I love companies that do that!

It has only reached the upper 50’s today but the wind is light and it felt warmer then that when I did chicken chores. We have another two days of the mid 50’s and then it is to be in the low 60’s for a bit. Liking this weather! I’m not excited to see cold temperatures head our way. Wish there was a good chance for rain soon but not seeing that in the forecast yet.

Two weeks from today is Thanksgiving. I still have room at my table if anyone is looking for a place to gather for dinner. No need to bring anything and no reservations needed. We are eating at 1:00 and will have plenty of food. I am serving both turkey and ham and all the trimmings.

I keep checking my grocery list for the big dinner day and I think it is complete. I will pick up a turkey next week so it can start thawing and then the Tuesday before Thanksgiving I will go get the rest of the stuff to fix the meal with. I will probably not do it on-line although I may. I don’t like when they don’t have something when I order on-line as sometimes I can find something in person to substitute for the item. I don’t allow them to make substitutes for me though as I don’t know what they might pick.

Things continue to shift inside as a result of watching the boundary class. I am letting things settle in and then I want to watch the class again. Sometimes when I repeat a class, I can pick out nuances that I missed the first time around. This is important stuff to me and I need to make sure I get it as completely as I am able to accept it. Still haven’t decided about taking the full course but will continue to sit with it and decide later.

Trying to come up with Christmas game ideas for our family Christmas Day December 9. I may repeat what I did last year if I can’t find a new one. The kids all enjoy them and they were easy for me to do. With some time and planning, I can come up with better prizes this year then I did last year.

I need to make a list of Christmas goodies that I am going to make and make a grocery list for them. Since we are having Christmas early this year, I will have to get started on them right after Thanksgiving. I don’t plan on making as much stuff this year as I did last year. Most of the kids are trying to eat healthier and if no one eats it, why make it. I certainly won’t eat any of it. I do like making it though.

Sitting in a good spot this afternoon. I love having a clean house and am grateful I am finding the motivation to get this place clean again. I let it go way too long again. I gave up keeping it spotless all the time some time ago. That was requiring way too much of my time and energy that I could have spent in better ways. I think though I have let the pendulum swing too far the other way. Hard for me to find balance in things sometimes.

Grateful the chickens have fresh straw to play with, grateful to have an organized underwear and sock drawer, and grateful for the beauty of this fall day.

I didn’t get much sleep last night. Must have slept too much the night before. May need to take a nap yet this afternoon. My energy is starting to run low.

I am working on cleaning my bedroom and bathroom. I have the bedroom almost done and part of the bathroom done. I found lots and lots of dirt. It has been awhile since I cleaned the bedroom. I did do the bathroom not too long ago but it has plenty of dirt too. This house sits on top of a hill and catches lots of dust.

It is in the mid 60’s today but windy so it doesn’t feel that warm. We had a slight chance for some rain earlier today but all we got was a thick fog. I don’t see any chances of rain in the longer range forecast. It is getting very dry again.

Winter Solstice is six weeks from tomorrow. Grateful we only have six more weeks of increasing darkness. These last six weeks can be very intense for those of us doing our inner work. I get the feeling Spirit isn’t fooling around this year and is creating situations for me to do some deep inner work. The world needs light bearers desperately right now and the best way to be one is to focus on my inner self and becoming the best self I can be. The light within shines brighter when one does their inner work. That light is contagious and I truly believe that is what will bring about world peace. Person to person the light can be passed and anger, greed and shame can be brought to the light and healed.

I scheduled my Shingles vaccine for Friday. I have been told the side effects can knock one out for a couple of days. I don’t have anything going on until next Tuesday so have the freedom to take a couple days to recover if needed. I had gotten the old version of the vaccine but have been told the new one is much more effective.

I sent an email to my grandkids telling them I need Christmas ideas. We are having our family Christmas December 9 and that is only a month away. Time to get my shopping done. I don’t like the pressure of doing it last minute. Ellexia’s birthday is December 11 so will have to double up for her. I ordered a fancy birthday cake to take to the family dinner so we can celebrate her birthday too. Tagen’s birthday is in January so the kiddos get back to back celebrations and presents.

So very pleased with the national election results last night. Sounds like abortion rights is what most of the country wants and people are willing to be a single issue voter to achieve that. The Supreme Court screwed up on that one. Hoping they will come to their senses and reverse the damage they are causing.

Chase County reported some precincts where no one in that district voted. Wonder how they determine the winners? Wonder why no one voted? The curious mind wants to know!

Tomorrow afternoon I will probably go in and watch Ellexia cheer. When she comes out on the court she looks at the crowd to see if anyone is there for her. Her parents both have to work during game times so I am the only one that can go. She will nod at me when she sees me but doesn’t like to wave at me. I get it! One does have to be cool when they are in the eighth grade!

Friday I have to go back to town to get my vaccine and then I will stay home until Tuesday when I have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment. I have managed to go to town everyday this week except for today. It will be good to stay home all weekend.

I still need to get a turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. I may stop at a grocery store in Topeka I like and see what they have. I haven’t seen a turkey over 21 pounds yet and I prefer a much bigger one. Although since I am fixing ham this year too, I probably won’t need bigger than 21 pounds. If I can’t find one in Topeka I’ll get a smaller one. I need to have it by next Thursday so I can start thawing it. Those suckers take a while to thaw in the refrigerator.

I have gotten most of the non-perishable things on my Thanksgiving grocery list. I will have a cart full when I go get the perishable things the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Hope the store isn’t out of anything. One year they were out of celery and I had to go to three different stores to find some. I am still not used to shortages. I just don’t remember that happening so much before Covid.

Sitting above the neutral level of consciousness today, even with little sleep. Something is shifting inside in a good way. The boundary class I took has helped me find my personal power in a new way. Still thinking about taking the full class but there is a component or two I am not sure I would enjoy and not sure I want to pay that much and not get the full benefit of the class. I have another couple of weeks to decide in order to get the reduced price.

Grateful the cleaning project has begun, grateful for temperatures in the mid 60’s and grateful for the positive shift that is happening within.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night. I was tired, it was dark and I had nothing better to do. I was surprised I slept most of the night. I needed a good night’s sleep.

I went to Cottonwood Falls this morning to vote. There was only one contested race on my ballet. All the ballet was local races and nothing state or national. I am becoming more and more aware though of the need to pay more attention to local races. I’m getting concerned about school boards, in particular, and how the far right is attempting to influence them.

KU Research Center called me today and did a phone interview. According to the ER doctor, I had an episode of AFib when I had my thyroid storm way back in 2017. A Cardiologist has followed me since. At the time the Cardiologist did not see evidence of me having AFib but it got registered on my file and has not yet been removed. It raised a red flag for this program but they are going to send a form to the Cardiologist and as long as he approves me being in the program I should pass to the next level.

They are to call me in about three months and do yet another intake of some sort and if I pass that I then have to go to KU for day of testing. They do physical test via a full body scan, a brain MRI and blood work and they do a two-hour memory test. If I pass all of those, I will then get set up in for the work-out program. I have to work out five days a week for 30 -45 minutes a time depending on which group I am randomly assigned to. For the first three to four months, I will have a personal trainer three days a week. More testing will be done and the personal trainer drops back to two days a week and towards the end of the year I will have one for one day a week. They repeat all the testing at the end of the program. They pay me $600 if I continue with the program all the way through. Not bad as they also pay for the gym membership and the personal trainer.

This program is what I need to motivate me and make me show up but I am disappointed that I won’t be able to get started for four to six months. Maybe the timing is perfect though as by then I will have dropped the extra weight and will be needing something to help me keep the weight off.

I loaned my knee scooter to a cousin who’s young son broke his ankle. I went to go to the middle school to watch Ellexia cheer so passed it off to them there. He will be the third person I have loaned the scooter too. Grateful it has found some use.

I watched Ellexia cheer. The girls won the game but it was a nail-biter. This was the first real competition they have had all year. They are fun to watch and I enjoy watching their coach. I think she does a good job from what I can see. The other team’s coach yelled at the girls all during the game. I am not sure how the players could concentrate on playing and listening to her at the same time.

I took Ellexia home and we stopped and got her some food. She texted Tagen and Michelle for their orders and we took supper home to them. It was good to see the three of them for a hot minute.

It was dark by the time I got home. I’m not used to it being dark by now. I do like the earlier morning light and wish we would stay on regular time all year long. I don’t mind which time we are on but I really dislike the changing back and forth.

I am free all day tomorrow and need to do some house cleaning. I had put it off as I thought the window guys were coming and would make a mess. Since they aren’t coming until after Thanksgiving I no longer have an excuse to not clean. This house needs cleaned up before Thanksgiving gets here.

Thursday Ellexia is cheering again at 3:30 so will go back to town to watch her again. I don’t have any plans for the weekend. Next week I have to go to two different doctor appointments in Topeka. One is on Tuesday and one is on Thursday. That will make next week feel busy and the next week is Thanksgiving. Yikes! The holiday season is almost here.

I picked up a prescription from Walmart today. It is my thyroid medication. It is usually $154 a month but this time it was only $75. Not sure why but am grateful for the lower amount. My insurance doesn’t cover it so I use Good RX. Still don’t understand how the price drops with Good RX when I don’t pay Good RX anything but it does. If you haven’t heard of Good RX it is worth looking into.

Feeling more settled and grounded now. Grateful for the shift in my thinking and thoughts. It is exhausting to have anxiety. Anxiety seems to rev up my central nervous system and I am fight or flight mode and there is nothing to fight or flight from.

Grateful for the possibility with the KU research project, grateful for getting to see Michelle and the kiddos for a hot minute today, and grateful the scooter found another way to be useful.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. I had forgotten to change my bedside clock so I was really confused as to what time it was this morning. It helped remind me that time is an illusion and not real. We use time to organize society but the only time we really have is this moment.

Went to Emporia mid-afternoon to work my shift at the Friends of the Library book sale. I went a bit early so I could start filling my bag. By the end of my shift, my bag was full. Today you could get a grocery sack full of books for $10. Tomorrow and Wednesday a bag will be $5 and Thursday morning a bag will be $2. Plenty of good books left.

We were nice and steady but not really busy. I moved books up from the bottom shelf to the upper shelves so they are easier for people to see. Most of the time I sat and people watched.

There was a mother, dad and three kids under 5 that came in. Dad tried to handle the two older ones and mom had the littlest one. Dad gave up and took the oldest and youngest to the car so mom could fill her bag. I ending up entertaining the kiddo as mom was pretty focused on books. He was a typical three-year-old full of energy. I got some books and we read books together. He ended up sitting in my lap for a bit. Cute kiddo and it was fun to play with him for a short while. That mom has her hands full with the three of them.

Stopped at Walmart and picked up my grocery order when my shift was over at the library. They were out of turkey size cooking bags. Sometimes I have to scratch my head and wonder how they let that happen.

Had a couple of interesting phone calls with my window company. Two weeks ago I called the scheduling manager to get an update. I left a message and he didn’t call me back. Last week I called and left another message and still didn’t hear from him. I called the salesman Thursday and I hadn’t heard back from him.

When I called today I asked for the owner of the business. The lady that answers the phone said he was out of the office but I could leave a message. I told her I was tired of leaving messages as no one calls me back.

She got on the case and within 10 minutes my salesman called me. Shortly after that I had a conversation with the scheduling manager. They had told me the week I got home from my trip the end of September that the windows were due in anytime and then they needed two weeks to get them ready to install. We agreed that they would be here by November 1 to install unless I heard back from them. I told them I needed to coordinate with the EFIS guy so I needed to know when they were coming and they agreed to call to update me. No one has contacted me to tell me any different. I had expected them to show up last week and had the EFIS guy scheduled to come the 10th.

Found out today they won’t be here until the week after Thanksgiving. That means the EFIS guy is delayed until December. He can only work if the temperature is above 40 for 24 hours before and all during the time that he does the work.

I was really angry when I talked to the two guys. I told them their lack of communication was unacceptable and I had expected better from them. They both promised to do better. We shall see.

I’m really worried that the EFIS repair will get delayed until spring time now. They have to cut the EFIS to install the windows which means moisture can get in until it gets repaired. Wondering if I should delay the install of the windows until spring too. Dang it anyways. I hate situations like this. Wish Kansas weather was a bit more predictable. Any construction experts reading this that can offer me some advice as to what to do?

Tomorrow I have to go back to town so I can watch Ellexia cheer. I need to remember to go vote before I to to Emporia. There isn’t much on the ballet this year but I hate to miss voting. Most of the positions don’t have any competition so there won’t be much suspense about who wins and there isn’t much motivation to vote.

The lady from the KU med center research program is to call me at 2:00 tomorrow. Hoping I get accepted and we get the next step scheduled. This has been a long process to get this program started.

The rest of the week is free and clear. Ellexia is cheering again Thursday night if I decide to go in again to see her. I offered to let her and her best friend come home with me after the game and spend the night. They don’t have school Friday. Haven’t heard if they have accepted my offer. I miss having the kiddos here.

Felt good to be in service this afternoon. I need to find a regular volunteer opportunity to do. I enjoy giving back to my community in ways when I am not in charge of anything.

My anxiety level seems to have dropped since I figured out what was behind it. I investigated and I can’t do anything about the situation unless something happens. Even knowing that, I have felt my anxiety lessening. It sure helped to identify what was causing it and step into allowing that. It may flare back up as the time gets closer but for now it is better and I will take that.

Grateful for a fun three-year-old today, grateful for this beautiful fall day with an absolutely breathtaking sunset tonight, and grateful for what sleep I did get.

I picked up Michelle, Tagen and Ellexia a little after 11:00 this morning and we headed to KC. We met up with Jason, Nicole, Geoff, Craig and Nancy and had lunch at Jack Stack’s. The food was delicious and the company was divine. It is always a good day when I get to see all my kids.

After lunch we had some time free so we went to Costco. Between Michelle and I we filled the back of my car with things I didn’t know I needed.

We then went to Craig’s brother Joe’s Celebration of Life service. It was beautifully organized and there was a nice crowd. I hadn’t seen Craig’s nephews for a long time so it was good to see them as well as Joe’s wife. Joe was well loved and it was an emotional afternoon for all who attended.

We came home afterwards and I got home around 5:45 after stopping to fill my car with gas. Kathy helped me unload my car from my Costco shopping trip. It was almost dark by the time I got home and was grateful when Kathy told me she had taken care of chicken chores. I have a headlight flashlight I can use when I do chores at night but was grateful I didn’t have to use it tonight.

The temperature reached the mid 70’s today. It was a nice day to go to KC. Traffic was light coming home and the trip felt easy today.

The kids agreed to having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day at 1:00. Nicole and Geoff don’t try to make it for Thanksgiving as they host his side of the family’s dinner. Jason had three or four dinners to go to and sometimes can come and sometimes not. I will need to find lots of extra people to come so I have a house full. Nothing pleases me more then to have 20 – 24 people at my house for Thanksgiving. So let this serve as an invitation to one and all. Come if you can and bring friends, family and neighbors with you. No need to bring anything but your beautiful self and others. Tagen requested I fix ham and macaroni and cheese so that will be on the menu as well as turkey and the trimmings. Ellexia wants green beans so we will have those too.

Craig and Nancy are hosting a Christmas gathering for the kids on December 9th. They and the kids agreed to let me crash their party and that will serve as our one and only family Christmas gathering this year. It is hard for Nicole and Geoff to get down closer to Christmas and Jason and Melissa always have several family events to go to too. This way we can get it over for everyone early and be done.

I dislike Christmas so this means I don’t have to put a tree up and it will be over early for me. I will have to get myself organized and figure out what I am going to do this year for gifts. We don’t give lots of gifts and we even decided not to do the White Elephant thing we have done for several years. No one needs anything and some of us don’t like clutter and getting things we don’t need/want. Simple is the key to having a beautiful celebration. For me the time with my kids is priceless and everything else really doesn’t mean much.

I asked the kids about Christmas treats and no one seemed too interested in them. Most of us have reduced or cut out eating sugary things and really don’t want it tempting us. I will make some fudge, chocolate covered peanut butter balls and Chex Mix and call it good this year. Simply and easy! Maybe I will enjoy Christmas more this year.

Tomorrow afternoon I am volunteering at the Friends of the Library book sale. They will be selling a bag of books for $10. I will probably come home with a bag for myself. After my shift is over I am picking up a Walmart order. I didn’t need much this week but did order some more non-perishable things I need for Thanksgiving Day dinner.

Tuesday the research project team is to call me for a phone interview in the afternoon. When that is done I will head to Emporia to watch Ellexia cheer. I need to remember to vote Tuesday morning as I forgot to do advance voting.

I got my A1C results back and they were 5.4. It is almost too low but I certainly don’t show any signs of having diabetes. That is a relief. I am wondering if the lightheadedness I get sometimes is due to low blood sugar. When my blood pressure goes low and if I have low blood sugar that would explain what is happening to me sometimes. I’ll have to read what to do about low blood sugar and how I can raise it a bit. I won’t go back to eating sugar so will have to research and see what other options I have.

Today was another reminder that time is not guaranteed to any of us. It makes the time I spend with my kids feel even more priceless and valuable. Say I love you often, forgive easily and reach out to others to stay in touch. You never know when it will be yours or their last day on earth.

Grateful for the time with family today, grateful our holiday plans are set, and grateful my A1C results showed I am not diabetic.

Kathy and I were at the Health Fair around 7:00 this morning. We carried everything in and got our table set up. We were ready to go by 7:15.

I had a blood draw today to check my A1C. I have never had it checked before that I know of and took advantage of this opportunity to do so. My blood glucose has always been in the normal range so really don’t think I have an issue but thought I would have it checked. I had big babies back in the day and was told then that I was at high risk for developing diabetes as an older adult. They offered several blood tests today at a minimal cost. They will mail me the results next week.

I have no idea how many people were there today. There must have been 25 – 20 vendors and most had two people per table. We only got rid of about 35 Beanie Babies that had our business card attached. I would be surprised if they had over 50 guests though.

It was interesting to watch people’s reaction when they found out we are Death Doulas. Most didn’t know what to say and many got away quickly and didn’t want to go there. Some engaged with us and shared some personal stories with us. Those that have helped a loved one through the dying process really understood what we are doing and appreciated it.

We made a few good contacts with people that work in the health care business. We shall see if anyone calls or if anything comes of it. The Health Fair helped rekindle my excitement about doing this work and I saw the real need for it today.

The lady at the table behind us works at Emporia University and was knowledgeable about the KU Med Research program that I am attempting to get into. She gave me a hint for the telephone interview I have Tuesday. I found out if I pass that, the next step is a brain scan in KC at KU Med along with some blood tests. Then I will get hooked up with a personal trainer at Emporia Fitness and will start working out. I’m not sure how often I go each week or when I might get started. I get a free gym membership and free personal trainer for one year. They pay me to go to KC for sporadic tests so they can see my progress. I trust I will get accepted and can start working out. My body is needing to move more.

When we got home, Kathy told me Sophia had a paw that she was licking. I checked it and she had an in-grown dew claw. I got it clipped and pulled out of where it was growing in. I cut the claw too short and it bled for a bit. Sophia seemed to know we were helping her and was very patient and calm. I put some Manuka Honey on the sore. I’ll check it again Monday morning and see if I need to take her in for some medication from the vet. Grateful Kathy had noticed it and said something to me.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. I did manage about four hours in two – two hour segments. Man I hate this! I had quit taking my sleep aide and am starting to wonder if my body is having withdrawal symptoms from me not taking it. I will take it again every other day and see if that helps. I need sleep badly!

It is colder today then it was forecast to be. It is only in the mid 50’s. I’ll have to put a coat on to do the chickens. I only wore a sweater today and froze most of the morning. We were by the back doors that were propped open and the cold air was blowing in. I took my breakfast with me in a cooler and the yogurt froze. That didn’t help me warm up at all.

We came home to the house smelling delicious. I remembered to put the pot roast in the crock pot before I left. It was wonderful. I love carrots cooked with a pot roast. Plenty of leftovers for another couple of meals. I am going to let it cook for another hour or so. It was done when I ate it but I like it falling apart and it wasn’t quite there yet.

Tomorrow I am picking Michelle and Tagen up a little after 11:00 and we are going to KC. We are meeting Nicole and Jason for lunch and then going to Craig’s brother’s celebration of life. I’m grateful I get some time with all three of my kids before it. That will make the trip worthwhile. The Celebration of Life will be a bit bittersweet.

I need to remember to take a check and deposit it while I am in Emporia tomorrow. I have to go again Monday if I forget tomorrow. I volunteer at the Friends of the Library book sale Monday afternoon.

Ellexia told me she is cheering Tuesday and Thursday this week. I will try to go to at least one of them if not both. Last time when she came out she looked for me. She smiled at me but didn’t wave. She is way too grown up for that I guess.

I finally figured out where my anxiety is coming from and will investigate doing something about it. Not sure what can be done but will find out. Grateful I figured out why I was so anxious and having almost panic attacks. Grateful I was able to find some quiet time to listen to my inner voice and was able to hear it. When I can figure out why I am feeling what I am feeling, the feeling tends to leave quicker.

Grateful for being able to participate in the health fair, grateful for the contacts we made, and grateful Kathy is by my side for this new business we are starting.

I am still trying to type October instead of November. Need to catch up with the times! Time seems to be flying by right now. The weather changing doesn’t help. It is the low 70s today. Feels more like September or October. It is to stay in the 60’s and 70’s through mid week next week. I’ll take the warmer weather any day even if it does confuse me.

I don’t think I got two hours of sleep last night. It was one of those nights that I could not fall asleep and if I fell asleep, I couldn’t stay asleep. It was after 6:00 this morning before I got any sleep at all. Thinking it will be an early bedtime tonight as I have to be up at 6:00 to leave the house by 6:45 in the morning.

Kathy and I worked on the materials for the Health Fair tomorrow. I got copies made of the description of what we do. Made drawing tags and found something to put them in. Gather up the rest of the stuff I need to take tomorrow. Kathy made a sign for our table and figured out a door prize. I think we are ready to go. It will be fun seeing people and interacting with them. I’m grateful it is only for the morning though. An all day event would drain me completely.

I laid out a pot roast to thaw. I need to remember to put it in the crock pot before I leave in the morning. I got my new beef late August and have only had a couple packages of hamburger. I haven’t been eating much beef lately and need to get started using it. I remembered to buy some carrots last week at the grocery store so I can put them in with the pot roast. I don’t eat potatoes much so won’t bother with those.

Still feeling some remnants of last year in my body. Doing my best to honor the feelings as they come up so I can feel them and then release them, It was a very difficult time for me a year ago and I am so grateful for the friends and family that had my back and supported me through all of it.

I called the window people again but had to leave a message. I’m getting a bit concerned as they had told me they should be here by November 1 and I haven’t heard anything from them. I had told the EFIS guy he could start November 10th, Hoping I hear Monday.

I got a call from the KU research team and they opened up the enrollment for women. They are to call me next week and do a phone interview and hopefully get me set up for the gym. I’m excited that this might be what I was looking for to get me motivated to get to the gym and start working out. The hiking trip to Himalayan is still on my radar but I can’t book it until I work out for several months and know that I will keep that up.

Have a free week next week except for Monday afternoon when I am volunteering to work the Friends of the Library book sale. I don’t have anything else on my calendar for the week. I have some projects to work on at home if I can find the motivation and energy to do so. They seem to wait patiently for me to get to them.

The results of the ultrasound of my throat came back and they are normal. All the thyroid stuff is looking good. I see the Endocrinologist in another ten days or so. She won’t have much to do or say which is a good thing.

Feeling a bit restless this afternoon. Most of it is due to lack of sleep but there is something in my body that is trying to get my attention. It may be old feelings from a year ago. Have been taking some time for silence this afternoon so whatever it is can be heard. Sometimes that is all I need to do and this restless feeling goes away. The weekend will be a busy one so hoping I will settle down before the busyness hits.

Grateful for warmer temperatures today, grateful we are ready for the Health Fair, and grateful I can go to bed early tonight.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer. She looked more relaxed and confident today. It makes me nervous to watch her fly but she loves it. One of the players on the team had an ankle injury. They were taking her in for X-rays. Always hate to see that happen.

I took Ellexia home afterwards so got to spend a hot minute with her. I sure miss seeing the kiddos daily and feel like I don’t know what is happening with them now. I am out of sight – out of mind!

It is a beautiful day on the prairie. I put a coat on to do the chickens but really didn’t need one. It is windy though. Loving the bright blue, clear skies and warmer temperatures. It is to be even warmer the next couple of days.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I do need to gather up the supplies for the Health Fair we are doing Saturday morning. I will get my car loaded up so I don’t have to remember anything but me Saturday morning. We have to be there at 7:00 to get set up for the 7:30 opening. Man, that is early!

Got a note from the coordinator and she let us know that we have to take drawing paper and pens and a basket for people to put them in. I’m glad she told us as I had assumed they were handling that. Still need to put together our drawing prize.

I’m going to have to figure out when and what to eat Saturday. I usually don’t have breakfast until between 10 and 11. Since I am getting up so early I know I will be hungry before then. Guess I will pack my breakfast and take it with me. I can have lunch when I get home.

I’m still fasting between 16 – 20 hours a day. I really don’t get hungry often and I like the convenience of only fixing two meals a day. Seems to have simplified my life.

Got my rent check from my renter in Cottonwood Falls. I meant to check the mailbox on the way to town so I could deposit it while I was in town this afternoon. I forgot to get it. Now I get to go back to town tomorrow or else I will wait and deposit it Sunday when I go to KC. Dang it anyways. I swear my memory isn’t what it used to be these days.

This last week or so has been a bit tougher for me then I anticipated it might be. It has been a year since Jim left the house and divorce proceedings began. I have found myself ruminating about that time and have struggle to let go of it. And this too shall pass….. Looking back I know I did what I had to do to take care of myself. I had fallen down the rabbit hole so far I didn’t know what was reality anymore.

Today is the birthday of Nicole’s first husband. These are always bittersweet days for her – and for us. Grateful for the wonderful memories we have of him and grateful we were part of his life.

Anyone know of a place where I can donate some fresh eggs? They are piling up and I need to move them out.

Excited I get to see all my kids together Sunday. It will be a hard day as we are joining Craig’s family to celebrate the life of his brother Joe. We will make the best of it and enjoy our time together. I need to remember to find a date and time for our Thanksgiving and Christmas while we are all together. It seems to get harder every year to find a time that works for most.

Grateful to see Ellexia cheer today, grateful for the wonderful memories I have of Chris, and grateful for my healing journey.

I had trouble falling asleep last night. Got out of bed at 1:00 and stayed up until 3:00. Took some Tylenol and that helped me finally fall asleep. I slept long and hard once I got to sleep. Have felt hungover all day though. Should have tied one on if I am going to feel like this all day.

Haven’t gotten much done today. It has been a low energy type of day for me. Brought up 18 eggs from the girls today. They are enjoying this touch warmer day. It got up to the mid 40’s today but there has been a stiff wind that has made it feel colder then that. It is to be in the upper 50’s tomorrow and mid 60’s Saturday.

I got a notice from my internet company that they are taking my service down between 5:30 and 6:30 tonight so they can do some maintenance on it. I appreciate them notifying me in advance.

Found out Ellexia is cheering Thursday afternoon at 3:30 so plan on going to town to watch her. I enjoy watching her fly when they do their special cheer between quarters. Her years of taking gymnastics is paying off. I will need to deposit a check so it will make a trip to town more fun to get to watch Ellexia. The games only last an hour or so.

Saturday Kathy and I have the health fair to go to. We are both looking forward to it and trust there will be some interest in what we are doing. I don’t look forward to having to get up at 6:00 though so we can be there by 7:00.

Sunday I am going to KC to attend Craig’s brother’s celebration of life gathering. The kids and I are meeting for lunch before the event. That will make the day a bit brighter for me. I want to stop at Costco before I come home. It will be a quick trip up and back.

Next Monday I am volunteering to work at the Friends of the Library book sale in Emporia. It will give me a chance to get some more books for my winter reading. Lord knows I have enough I haven’t read already but that has never stopped me before.

Still haven’t heard back from the window people. Frustrating that they haven’t kept me informed of when they might be here and that they haven’t returned my call. I’ll call them again tomorrow afternoon if I still haven’t heard from them. They had told me they would be here on or before the 1st of November.

Best get this wrapped up before my internet goes off and I lose what I have written.

Grateful for warmer temperatures on the prairie, grateful for my girls who give me 16 – 20 eggs a day, and grateful for sleep finally finding me last night.

Happy Halloween. Craig and I were married in 1979 on this day. Makes it easy to remember the date! I’m grateful for the years we had together and the years since. We are both happier now then we were together.

Went to Emporia this afternoon. I needed yogurt that Walmart and the other grocery store was out of yesterday. Luckily they had it today. Since I went inside to get it, I happened to see some things that reminded me of the big Thanksgiving Dinner I will be fixing soon. I picked up some canned goods and a few other things to get that shopping started. Makes me feel like I don’t spend as much when I do the big shopping trip the week of Thanksgiving.

Gathered up the trash and took it down to the curb. I am slowly removing a bunch of trash from the barn. I need to get some big trash bags and bag some more stuff up. Our trash guys only take bagged trash. Still have a bunch to go but am making progress getting rid of stuff. Throwing things out gives me great satisfaction and there is a lot of satisfaction to go in the barn!

It is a beautiful but cold day on the prairie. It reached 40 today so the warm front is starting to come in. It is to be in the mid 60’s in a few more days. This cold blast reminded me that winter is coming. I will enjoy these next few days of the 60’s as we won’t see many more before spring. Hoping we have a relatively mild winter.

Got my thyroid thyroglobulin results back. This is the test that checks for cancer and the results were less than 1 which is normal and means no cancer detected. I’m always grateful when I get those results back and this is the result. I’m grateful my Endocrinologist still checks them and is keeping a close eye on me for the rare chance that the cancer comes back.

The other Thyroglobulin test came back excellent too. My levels had been less than .1 for months and had risen to .2 for a bit. This time they came back down to less than .1. Not sure what made them rise but grateful they are back to almost non-detectable levels.

I roasted a whole chicken in the crock pot today. I had some before I went to town. I love chicken cooked that way – it is very tender and juicy. I will debone it and have good tasting chicken for several days. Sure made the house smell good all day.

I have had a thought stuck in my head for a couple of days now. I can’t seem to make it go away. I’ve tried several of my tricks and none have worked so far. Guess it will leave on it’s own time and not mine. I got a bit down thinking about the situation on my mind this morning but was able to shake that off and get back above the neutral level. It isn’t even a realistic situation that I am ruminating about – it is possible but not probable. Wish I knew how and why that happens and how to turn it off.

I remembered to call the window people to get an update. I had to leave a message and they haven’t had time to call me back yet. Still hoping they are coming this week. It would be a good week for it. I would love to get them in and the EFIS fixed before winter hits.

Grateful for great blood test results, grateful my yogurt is restocked, and grateful for the smell of chicken cooking.

I almost forgot to blog today. I came home from happy hour and got started doing something and time got away from me.

I went to Emporia mid afternoon and picked up my grocery order. I had stopped at Bruff’s for lunch but I was there for 10 minutes and never saw a wait staff person so I left. I went to Wendy’s instead and got a chili. Not quite what I wanted but it worked.

Went through the car wash and got my car wash. It had gotten really dirty from the rain last week. Stopped at Good Savers to get some ice. I also checked to see if they have my favorite yogurt as Walmart was out of it. They didn’t so now I will have to go back to Emporia later this week to get some. Not sure why Walmart seems to be out of it every three or four weeks.

After I got home I put things away and did the chicken chores. Then Kathy and I went to a friend’s house for happy hour. It was fun talking to our friends for a bit. I love when we can get together and visit.

I spent some time today reviewing my Doula Care Consultant notes. I haven’t work on this stuff for a bit and needed to review some of it. It came back easier then I expected it to. I’m excited to be back using the material and putting it to good use.

I don’t have any plans for tomorrow. I will spend some more time on the Doula material to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I need to do a bit of housecleaning and take care of stuff like that. I need to give the chickens a bit more straw. They have crushed down what we put in there when we cleaned the coop a while ago. They need a couple inches of straw to help keep them warm when it gets cold again.

I have no plans for Halloween. We won’t have any trick or treaters so don’t need to prepare for that. I thought about doing the truck or treat thing in town but it will be way to peopley for me. Craig and I got married on Halloween so it is a weird day for me now.

I’m still enjoying all my empty space. It did feel good to get out this afternoon and visit with some friends. It was good for me to get out again. It feels like it has been a long time.

The moon has been incredibly beautiful the last couple of nights. It was full Saturday night and has been putting on quite a show since. I don’t need to turn a light on when I get up at night as the moon is so bright.

Kathy sent me a document via Google documents today. When I tried to open it, it said I needed permission to open it and that they would send me an email when it was granted. Hummm…. Who grants me permission? I expected that they would send Kathy an email to respond but she said she didn’t get one. She figured out a different way to send it to me so all is good. It is a head scratcher though. Still don’t understand Google.

Grateful for the beauty of the moon on the prairie tonight, grateful for being able to share time with my friends, and grateful for empty space in my life right now.

Burrr….. It has been windy and cold on the prairie today. There was some sleet acclimating earlier today. Low 30’s with wind which makes it feel like the low 20’s.

I bundled up to go down to do the chickens. I put on my insulated overalls and kept nice and warm. Luckily the girls didn’t need water today so I didn’t have to haul it down. They gave me 18 eggs. What else do they have to do on a cold day but lay an egg – right?

I’m watching the Chiefs game this afternoon. They don’t look so good so far today. I heard Mahomes has had the flu. Wonder why they let him play. Hope the rest of the team doesn’t get it this week.

Haven’t even attempted to do anything today. I’m in the mood to sit and stay warm. I don’t like cold weather and I am protesting it today. Lot of good that will do but …….

I am going to Emporia tomorrow afternoon to pick up a small grocery order. I only needed a few things. Trying to think of other things I need to do while I am in town but haven’t come up with anything yet. I don’t like to go to town for only one thing.

Have several projects I need to work on. Hoping tomorrow I will get my ass moving and get with it. My get up and go got up and left today and I’m not going to push myself. Sometimes it is best to read my own energy and go with the flow rather than trying something and not being successful.

We are to be back in the lower 60’s by next weekend. That is more my type of weather. I will be able to turn the hose back on for water for the chickens. I hope the warmer weather sticks around for a bit.

I’m still fasting 18 – 20 hours a day. I really like it. It has simplified my life as I only have to fix two meals a day, instead of three. I have lost over 10 pounds so far but have 30 to go. 25% there! I can do this, I can do this. At least, that is what I keep telling myself.

Feeling a bit lost and unmoored today. Grateful the eclipse was last night and the collective energy will be calming down over the next couple of days. It has been a wild ride the last couple of weeks. It has left me feeling empty again. I’m grateful I have lots of empty space on my calendar this week so I can refill and recharge.

Grateful the chicken chores are done for the day, grateful the house is warm and toasty inside, and grateful it is to warm up in a couple of days.

I had trouble finding sleep again last night. Not sure if I even got four hours of sleep or not. I am tired this afternoon but going to try to avoid taking a nap. I will go to bed early and hopefully sleep long and hard tonight.

I went down to take care of the chickens this afternoon. We have a light rain falling on the prairie and it is cold. The rain may become a wintery mix before it is done. I had to take down the heater thingy that the water container sits on so it doesn’t freeze. That means hooking up a long extension cord and getting it all sorted out and plugged in.

Then I had to disconnect the garden hose. I needed a pair of pliers to get it undone as it was starting to freeze. Mission accomplished and the chickens are ready for winter. I will need to hook up a heat lamp when it gets colder and stays colder. The water can heating thingy works until it reaches about 20 degrees and stays there for a bit. Hate the thought of having to carry water down to them now but that is winter on the prairie. I won’t bring in the hose until I know it is going to stay cold for an extended time. I still might be able to use it another couple of weeks if it warms up and stays warm for several days.

I plugged the dogs heated water bowl in. Those things usually only work for one season so we shall see if it works this year or not. I turned on the heating pad that is in their dog house in the garage. Roxy was sitting on top of the steps leading from the garage into the house to stay warm. The dogs are eight years old and are starting to feel the cold more than they used to. They love colder weather but do like to warm up once in a while.

I decluttered the living room, kitchen and dining room this morning. Things had piled up again and I hadn’t taken time to declutter. Feels good to have those three rooms free of visible clutter. Now I need to dust them and make them free of visible dust. With the rain we are getting, the dust may stay quiet for a few days and they would remain dust free for a bit.

I have my fireplace on so the living room is nice and toasty warm this afternoon. The rain looks and feels cold today and the fire helps keep me mentally as well as physically warm.

The internet is down for some reason. I will go turn it off and reboot it when I get done blogging. Maybe it just needs to be reset. This cold and wet weather could have caused problems for it though. I’m glad I can use my iPhone as a hotspot when the internet goes down.

No plans for the weekend. I will need groceries within the next couple of days but plan to wait until it clears up before I go to town. The forecast is showing Monday and Tuesday are to be cold but dry and clear. I will go then.

I have a quiet week ahead of me. Nothing on my calendar until next Saturday. I will need to find something to do and someplace to go. I don’t think it is good for me to stay home for that long of a time. I bet something will come up that calls me out sometime this week.

Sitting with a deep peace and contentment this afternoon. Feeling very grateful for my healing and recovery journey this past year. I am in such a better place then I was a year ago. My life feels fuller and richer in ways that I didn’t expect to feel. Possibilities are possible again!

Grateful for the rain on the prairie today, grateful the dogs and chickens are ready for winter, and grateful for where I am in my life right now.

What a long day. I left the house this morning at 11:30 and got home this evening at 11:30. I’m out used to being gone from home that long.

First stop was at the clinic to have an ultrasound of my neck. I always find it interesting how the different technicians do the ultrasound. This one did the sides of my neck but didn’t do the center of it. I have had others that do the center but not the sides and some that do both.

Next up was a stop at a different clinic for a blood draw. I got the results of two of the three tests they did today back and my TSH was 2.7 which is exactly where I like it. Not sure why it raised a point from last time but grateful it did. I take the same dose of medication at the same time everyday but get different results from it most times.

I then went to Chipotle for lunch. It is my reward to myself for going to the medical stuff. I think Chipotle is my favorite place to eat.

I then drove to KC and met a friend for coffee. We hadn’t seen each other for quite a while but are always able to pick up where we left off last time. We visited for two hours. Does my soul good to have deep conversations like I had with her today.

Next up was dinner with Nicole and Geoff. Mary wasn’t able to join us but Nicole, Geoff and I enjoyed a nice dinner. I’m glad I made reservations as the restaurant had a 30 – 45 minute wait and we were there at 5:20. It was a hopping place. The food was good and the service nice.

Nicole and Geoff went me to the football game. They stayed for the first half and got to see Tagen play one play. It was cold tonight. I’m grateful I remembered to take a blanket as the bleachers were aluminum and cold. I never got really cold but cold enough for me. The restroom was very warm so I went in there and warmed up.

Emporia got beat bad again but at least they scored twice tonight. They ran the clock for most of the second half so it went fast. It was Tagen’s last high school football game.

After the game I waited for Tagen and he rode home for me. He wanted to eat at Raising Cain’s so we went north a bit to find one. He said the food was good. It was nice to have company on the ride home. I hadn’t gotten to talk to him much since he moved out a month ago so it was nice to catch up with him.

It was a fun day. I always appreciate getting to spend time with Nicole and Geoff and getting to see my friend and spend time with Tagen was great. I will be tired tomorrow but it was worth it.

I woke up in the middle of the night freezing. I had opened my windows as it was warm yesterday. The cold front came in a day earlier than the forecast predicted. I don’t think it got out of the high 40’s today. By the time I got home tonight, it was 37. Yikes! I’m not mentally prepared for cold weather.

Going to call it a day and get to bed. I’m tired tonight but grateful I got to spend time with some people I love today.

Grateful for a safe trip for all my travels today, grateful I got to see Tagen’s last football game, and grateful my TSH levels are right where I like them to be.

What a beautiful afternoon on the prairie. It reached into the 80’s today and we got to see the sunshine and blue skies again. Enjoy while it lasts as it is to possibly snow on Sunday. Don’t like Kansas weather, hang around a day or two and it will change.

Second day without water. They got the pipes repaired in town but the water flow hasn’t reached my house much yet. I get a bit out of the pipes downstairs but there is not enough water pressure to have my booster pump on which means no water upstairs. Hoping by morning it will be back up and running. I could really use a shower.

I turned the well water on and was able to get water for the chickens. Not sure why I didn’t think of that yesterday. I hope the water is potable and won’t hurt the chickens. I have never had the well water tested and only use it for watering outside.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to watch Ellexia cheer for a basketball game. She got to be the flyer for the cheering squad and did a great job. She told me afterwards she was really nervous but she hid it well and I didn’t see a trace of nervousness. They did their thing twice and she nailed it both times.

I took her home afterwards. We had to stop and get her some food on the way home as she was starving. Somethings never change!

I stopped at Bruff’s and had my lunch/dinner before the game. I get a grilled chicken breast and two servings of veggies. It makes a nice change for me to eat there and I know it is on plan. The waitress remembered me from earlier in the week when I stopped.

Tomorrow I have to leave for Topeka around 11:30. I am having a sonogram on my throat done and then I have to go to a different building and have a blood draw. Both are routine, annual tests in preparation of me seeing my Endocrinologist in November. I like to have them done before my appointment so she has the results and we can talk about it in person at the appointment.

After that I am going to KC and meeting with a dear friend for coffee at 3:00. Then I am meeting up with Nicole, Geoff and Mary and having dinner before we go to Tagen’s football game. It will be a full and busy day for me. It will be good to see the people I am meeting up with.

No plans for the weekend. It is to get cold and staying home sounds good. I don’t like to be out when it is snowing and icy. Perhaps the moisture will go around us but the cold will be here, ready or not.

I have nothing on my calendar for next week. I have two or three projects I need to work on so will have lots of time to do that.

As expected, the universe offered me a chance to practice what I have been learning about boundaries. I keep reminding myself I am not responsible for their reaction. It felt good in one way yet different in my body then I am used to. This is a new feeling for me and will take me some time and practice to allow it. Finding one’s voice and then acting on it, takes practice. Grateful for the lesson and that I was able to react differently then I would have in the past.

I finished my classes on boundaries. There was one that showed me a roadmap on how to build intimacy in a relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect. I see now where I went wrong with Jim. This is good stuff and am ever so grateful I am learning it. Better late than never.

I am feeling the changes happening within my body. I feel like I am reconnecting to my body and the signals it gives me in a new way. When my nervous system got stuck on fight or flight, I couldn’t feel my body giving me signals. It feels like I have come back home to my body again.

Grateful for the opportunity to practice one of my lessons on boundaries, grateful to get to watch Ellexia perform this afternoon, and grateful water will be here soon!

Rain! Rain has arrived on the prairie at long last. My Tempest weather station is reporting a little over 4 inches. Others around me are reporting more – up to almost 8 inches east of Matfield Green. It is so wonderful to have a rainy day all day. You can hear the earth drinking in the moisture. We have a chance for even more rain tomorrow and then again next week.

We don’t have any water in our pipes though. There was a water break in Cottonwood Falls this morning that stopped the water flow to Strong City and the Rural Water District I am on. We might get it back sometime tomorrow.

I need to go down and do chickens. I may have to go to Emporia to get water for them. I have two cases of bottled water but do I really want to take a case down and dump it bottle by bottle into the chicken watering can? Ummmm… I’ll go down and do the chores in a bit and see how much water they need and then decide what to do. They might be OK for one day but by tomorrow afternoon they will need eight gallons of water to fill their containers.

I have spent a quiet day at home listening to the rain. It woke me up a couple times during the night. It sounded funny and I finally figured out that without any working guttering, the rain falls off the roof differently then it does with guttering. I kept thinking water was dripping inside the house until I figured it out. Grateful it was not inside dripping.

I fixed another 65 favors for the health fair. The coordinator told me they are hoping for around 150. We shall see if that many come. I’m doing a game type thing and they can win a prize if they are willing to play. I may end up handing them out though, we shall see how it goes.

Listened to another boundary class last night. It kinda freaked me out. She was describing how relationships can go bad and it was if she was talking directly to me. She even mentioned how many pictures on a wall is too many! Wow! She nailed it on the head.

When two people join in a relationship, there is a myth that they become one. However, if that happens, you can get lost in it. There is usually a giver and a taker and the taker can take over and the giver usually then plays smaller and smaller to keep the peace. The giver ends up empty and the relationship falls apart. Yep! I felt that one!

This is such good stuff. I need to watch the whole series again when I get done. I want to make sure I don’t miss something. I have two more lessons to go before I am done. Both of those sessions look interesting too

There is a chance we will get some snow over the weekend. We should get a hard freeze Sunday night. The high temperatures next week will be the mid 40’s. Dang! Not sure I am mentally prepared for that.

Starting to feel a bit disconnected from the rest of the world. I have been isolating myself lately and haven’t reached out to very many people. It is time for me to start rejoining the real world. Not sure how I will do that yet but starting to feel the urge. This nesting time has been good for my soul but too much alone time is not healthy for me.

Grateful for rain on the prairie, may it fill the ponds and wells, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful I am not too old to learn more about myself.

I went to the Vo-Tech this afternoon to have my teeth cleaned. I had a new student (to me) do it this time. She was good. It was her first time using the sonic blaster thingy but she handled it like a pro. It had been eight months since I had my teeth cleaned and they were bad. I usually get them cleaned three times a year. The student I had last year got sick and had to cancel my May appointment and it was the end of the school year for her so she couldn’t reschedule it. Feels good to have them clean again.

I stopped and filled the car with gas on my way to town and then stopped and dropped a package that had come for Michelle off. Afterwards I stopped at Bruff’s and had my meal for the day. It was delicious and a nice treat after sitting in the dental chair for over two hours.

Came home and did the chicken chores and took the trash down. We are getting a bit of rain on the prairie today. Unfortunately most of it went east of us but we have gotten about half an inch. Sure need more but I will take what I can get. Still have a chance for more rain later tonight and tomorrow.

The high for Sunday is to be 40. Yikes! I’m mentally not ready for that after having it be in the mid 80’s earlier this week. We might get a hard freeze overnight Sunday. My allergies will appreciate that.

I haven’t had a reaction to the flu shot. My arm is a touch sore but hardly noticeable most of the time. Grateful I didn’t feel icky today. Still need to decide if I want to get the new shingles vaccine or not. I’ve been told you can have a reaction to that vaccine that is not pleasant. There is also two different Hepatitis vaccines out now. My risk is low for that unless I do some international travel so will wait on them to see if I decide to go somewhere exotic or not.

I had trouble falling asleep last night but finally did around 3:00. I slept really good for about three hours and then off and on for another two. I don’t feel quite so sleep deprived today. Maybe with the cooler temperatures and rain, I’ll sleep really good tonight.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow or Thursday. It will be good to have two stay at home days. Friday I have to go to Topeka for some medical stuff and then I am going to Overland Park so that will be a long and busy day. I’m meeting a friend for coffee in the afternoon and then meeting up with Nicole and Geoff to go to the football game.

Don’t have anything on my calendar for the next week until Saturday when Kathy and I are going to be at the Chase County Health Fair. Good to have lots of empty space ahead.

Still feeling in my body the memories from a year ago when the breakup with Jim was going down. Funny how our bodies store those memories. I am in such a better place now then I was then. Grateful I made the decision I did and have put myself on a path to recovery. I learned so much about myself during that time and since. It sure was a hard way to learn my lessons though.

If I don’t hear from the window people by Friday, I need to call them and get an update. I’m anxious to get the windows installed and then get the EFIS guy on the calendar. This hail damage restoration project has dragged on long enough. I’m ready to be done with it.

Sitting with the feelings of possibilities opening up for me. I don’t have much on my calendar for the foreseeable future and am exploring some options. I do better when I have a bit of structure and purpose in my life. Feeling ready to take on a new project. Things have finally settled down here on the prairie and it is time to look towards my future. It feels like I have been given a new blank slate to fill in the blanks with.

Grateful for the gentle way the girl did my teeth today, grateful for the rain we received, and grateful for possibilities for myself in the future.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. When I did sleep, I had very vivid dreams which is unusual for me. I would wake myself up to change the dream channel. Sure makes for a long night when that happens.

I went to Emporia this morning to get my flu shot. My arm is a bit sore this afternoon. Trusting I won’t crash tomorrow as I have to go to the Vo-Tech in the afternoon to get my teeth cleaned. We shall see what happens.

I didn’t have anything else to do in Emporia. I picked up a few things I needed while I was at Walmart and then came home. I fell asleep in my chair and took a nap this afternoon. I feel very short on sleep as it has been a hot minute or two or three since I have had a restful night’s sleep.

Found out Tagen is playing football in Overland Park Friday night. I have to go to Topeka Friday for my ultrasound and blood draw so think I will go to KC after that. I sent an email to some friends to see if they want to hook up Friday afternoon. If not, I will find something to do. I do need to stop at Costco and pick up a few things before I go to the game. It will probably be Tagen’s last game as it is the state playoffs and they are playing a very good team. Not sure if he will get to play, but I feel it is important I go support him.

It has been very windy on the prairie today. I have doors and windows open. The dust has found a new home inside my house. You could write your name on my coffee table with your finger in the dust that is covering it. No use cleaning it up until we get some rain. We have a good chance for rain this week. Crossing my fingers and toes we get a couple of inches.

It reached the mid 80’s again today. Tomorrow the high is to be 69. Hoping this is the last of the 80’s for the year. It is a touch too warm for me today.

I let the Pella guy know I had gone with a different window company. He sent a rather nasty letter to me complaining about my decision. Oh well. If he is going to act like that, I’m glad I didn’t go with him. I haven’t gotten an update on when the windows will be installed. Trusting they will be here sometime next week. If we get rain this week, it might delay them. I will take a delay if it means we get rain.

I haven’t watched another boundary workshop class yet. I’m still letting the last one sink in. I keep thinking of situations where I can apply the formula that my responsibility is equal to my power to change the situation. This feels really big to me and freeing. The way life usually works for me when I get a new understanding and learning, is that life will offer me an opportunity to apply this new learnings in the next bit. Once that happens and I am successful, I got it! Wonder what this opportunity will be?

The lady coordinating the health fair let me know that the last health fair had about 150 people in attendance. I will need to make 50 more giveaways. No real problem if we run out but I didn’t want to make lots more then we need. I still need to come up with a gift for the drawing.

Don’t have an abundance of energy today. Thinking the lack of sleep is catching up with me. Not sure what it is going to take to get a good night’s sleep. The sleep aide that I was using is no longer helping me. Kathy reports she is struggling with sleep right now too. I’ll be grateful when the lunar eclipse happens Saturday night and the collective energy settles back down again.

Still staying on my eating plan and using fasting. I usually fast between 18 – 19 hours a day. I eat breakfast and one meal and then start fasting again. I rarely get hungry and am continuing to lose weight. I usually drop a pound or two and then stall out for several days and then drop another pound. It will be several months before I get back down to where I want to be.

Grateful for afternoon naps in my chair, grateful for what sleep I did get, and grateful for the good chance of rain over the next couple of days.

I watched my boundary class last night. It was one of the best ones yet. The main point of it was the equation “Your responsibility is equal to your power”. Meaning, it you have the power to change a situation, then you are responsible to do so. If you have no power to change it, then you have no responsibility.

If someone asks for your help, you can make a choice to help or not. Their issue/situation remains their responsibility as they have the power in the situation. If you agree to help and that situation becomes intolerable for you, then you can make a different choice and back out. They are the only ones that have the power to change the situation.

When someone won’t accept responsibility for their own behavior and healing, I need to shift my relationship with them. My love for them will not heal someone else’s wounds and is not my responsibility.

My own trauma that I have suffered through is not my fault. However, it is now my responsibility to heal it as I am the only one with the power to do so. Therapy, friends, etc. can offer advice and support, but ultimately the power to change myself lies only within myself.

As an overly responsible person, I now see where I have assumed responsibility for things I had no power to change. It ended in frustration for both the person I was attempting to help and with myself. Once you know better you can do better!

This is good stuff to learn. Sure wished I had learned it years ago. I would have saved myself and others much pain. As I was watching the class last night, I felt things leave me. Things I had been carrying responsibilities for that I had no power to change. Things that had weighed me down and I now know I no longer need to carry.

I’m grateful I am taking this class and learning new things about boundaries. If you don’t know where you begin and end, you can get taken advantage of and spend lots of time in frustration. Letting go of other’s things frees me up to do more internal work on myself.

I still have a couple more classes to watch. Wonder what else new things I will learn? Getting more and more tempted to take the whole class.

It is another beautiful day on the prairie. Low 80’s today and light wind. It is to drop to the lower 70’s on Tuesday and the upper 40’s by Saturday. We have a chance for rain this week. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will rain for several days.

I’m watching the Chiefs game. At halftime I will need to go down and do the chicken chores. I got a fairy egg yesterday – hadn’t seen one of those for a long time. They always make me smile when I get one. I have lots of eggs if anyone needs some. I’m coming to Emporia tomorrow and would be happy to bring some in. I’ll be at Walmart at 11:00 if you want to meet me and get some. They are $3 a dozen.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia by 10:45 to get my flu shot. I checked and don’t need any groceries. I have to go to Topeka Friday so if I need anything by then, I will get it then.

Kathy and I are working on getting our materials ready for our booth at the health fair November 4. We are both getting excited about the possibilities that this might open up for each of us. Together, we can cover most anything that comes up surrounding death and the time before it happens.

I feel like I am becoming who I was intended to be. I love learning new things and knowing that they are changing how I will choose to behave in the future. Feeling freer and more open then I have for a long time.

Grateful for the boundary class I am taking, grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful I am never too old to learn and change.

Another perfect fall day on the prairie. A little warm but I will take it. It is to get colder next week and I will be wishing for the warmth again.

Had trouble sleeping again last night. Finally figured out part of my problem though. We are between a solar and lunar eclipse period and the collective energy is all stirred up. It can cause one to have trouble sleeping, react without pausing, feel like you are on a roller coaster of emotions, etc. Makes perfect sense to me! Kathy said she has been feeling it too.

This is also the time a year ago that Jim and I were going through our breakup. I do believe our bodies store certain memories in them and remind us of things that have happened. A year ago I was discovering some new truths about our relationship and it was one of the hardest times I have ever faced. I am so grateful for those that walked that journey beside me and helped me cross that bridge and get to the other side.

Kathy and I worked on our Health Fair giveaway today. Not sure how many to prepare. We fixed 100 but not sure that will be enough. I sent an email to the coordinator and asked if she had any idea how many people might come. We might need to fix another 100 or so.

I am really starting to notice how early it is when it gets dark now. 60 more days of getting a bit less daylight each day. The last 60 days always feels long and dark to me. I do some of my best internal work during that period but man is it hard sometimes! I look forward to December 21 when the sun begins its cycle towards more daylight.

KU Med Center called me today to tell me the fitness research program I wanted to enroll in has been delayed yet again. They are enrolling men, but not women right now. There is a possibility that they will open it up to more woman after the first of the year but they don’t know for sure yet. I’m grateful they called to tell me. I had been waiting to hear from them as they offered a free gym membership as part of their study. I no longer have an excuse to call the gym in Cottonwood and get my butt moving.

Monday I get my flu shot. I trust it won’t knock me on my ass the way the Covid and RSV shots did. I have a dental appointment Tuesday afternoon that I really don’t want to miss. Since I am going to town Monday, I need to place my grocery order and get it that day. Not sure I need much but will check. My grocery bill has certainly gone way down since the kiddos moved out.

My back pain is all but gone. It gets stirred up a bit when I lift things or move around a lot but quiets right back down. I think my body is telling me I need to start using it or it will protest louder and louder. Time to hit the gym next week! No more excuses!

I’m struggling to think that Christmas will be here in just a little over two months. That means Thanksgiving is only a little over a month away. I will be hosting a dinner again this year and welcome any and all to come. Will post when I know for sure when I am doing it this year.

Still enjoying my empty space. I feel my soul refilling and expanding. Change is headed my way but not sure what that might look like or be. It feels important that I protect this empty space for a bit so I will be fully charged and ready to go when the change appears. I know that sounds weird but that is the closest I can come to describing what I am feeling.

Grateful for this fall perfect day, grateful my back pain is gone, and grateful for my personal growth over this last year. I am in a much better space now then I was just one year ago.

I am not having the best of days. Things felt hard for me today. I had trouble falling asleep again last night. By 2:00 I was getting exasperated. Finally fell asleep and slept hard. Still feel tired today but at least I got some sleep late last night.

I remembered to send a text to the plumber about the broken drain pipe in the rental house back yard. He needed a picture of it before he could tell me if he could put a sleeve on it or not. I went to Emporia to take a picture of it. He can fix it and will put it on his schedule. I know better then to ask when.

I stopped at Bluestem and got 6 bags of chicken feed. They load it for me off their back deck. Sure makes it easy for me.

I stopped at the grocery store and picked up a few things so I could make some chicken and noodles for a friend that has Covid. Came home and put things away and made the chicken and noodles. Kathy had to taste test it for me as I had started fasting. Sure hope it turned out OK. I used a new recipe and I never know how that might turn out.

I delivered the meal along with a dessert I threw together to my friends. They are doing better today but it has been a long five days for them. Covid is no joke and is hard to deal with. I trust they are on the mend and will be better quickly.

When I got home I couldn’t find my phone. I went to grab my watch so I could ping my phone and discovered the watch had fallen off the charger and was dead. I used my iPad and had it ping my phone. I found my phone but then I couldn’t stop the iPad from constantly pinging my phone. I finally turned my phone off to stop it. After I stopped cussing, I had to laugh at myself. It is usually the little things in life that trip me up!

I have one load of dishes washing in the dishwasher and need to clean up the kitchen and do another load. I sure like to dirty dishes when I cook. It looks like I fixed a five course meal with all the dirty dishes.

Got notice that the house insurance for the house I am selling to Michelle is due in one month. Trying to decide if we can close in a month or if I need to pay it and then request a refund for most of it. I’ll decide late next week. If we haven’t sent papers to the title company by the end of the week, I will need to go ahead and pay it. The title company said it would take 30 -45 days to close. Not sure why it will take that long but good to know, I guess.

I haven’t watched my class on boundaries yet today. I may still do so but feel like I am operating on limited brainpower today. I have eight weeks to finish the class so it can wait till tomorrow.

Man did it warm up again today. It reached the mid 80’s today. Upstairs is warm in the house. I opened the doors to let some fresh air in but there is little to no wind today so not much coming in. Days like this I wish I had a whole house attic fan.

The pain in my back is still there although it has quieted down for the most part. I took a muscle relaxer last night hoping it would help me sleep but that didn’t work. I really couldn’t tell that the muscle relaxer did any good so I doubt that I take any more of them.

Don’t feel like I did much today but make a huge mess in my kitchen. Just one of those days where things weren’t easy. If I could get a good night’s sleep, I think things would go easier for me.

No plans for tomorrow or Sunday. Monday I am getting my flu shot. Tuesday I go to the Vo-Tech to get my teeth cleaned. Friday I have to go to Topeka to have my throat Ultrasound done and a blood draw. Thank heavens I have some free days for empty space. After going to town today, I am peopled out for a bit.

The business cards I ordered for the health fair came in today. At first glance, I think I got everything right on them. I need to pull some material and get myself ready for the health fair. Hope we get some interest in what we are doing.

Feeling a bit stirred up tonight. Having trouble relaxing and letting go. My energy level wasn’t very high today again. Hoping tomorrow will be a better day for me and I can get somethings done. I feel better at the end of day when I know I did something during the day.

Grateful the chicken feed is restocked, grateful I have the App Find my Phone, and grateful for the beautiful fall (or is it summer) day today.

Last night threw me a small plot twist. The pain I had in the afternoon in my kidney area continued to increase. Kathy and I decided I better go in and have it checked out. I thought I had a kidney stone.

The ER was not busy so they took me right back. They drew blood and put in an IV. After a wait of over an hour, the doctor comes in. He doesn’t think it is a kidney stone as I don’t look like I am in enough pain. He ordered a back X-ray.

The blood and urine work came back and didn’t show I had a kidney stone. It took about three hours before they came to get me to take me back to x-ray. The results of that came back within 30 minutes.

It showed some minor compression and the doctor concluded that I had a pinched nerve. They had given me some IV muscle relaxer and Tylenol. The pain diminished and I was able to go home.

While we were waiting for the doctor to come in and tell me the results of the blood and urine labs, I got on the hospital chart site and found the results myself. Love that you can do that!

We were there about four hours all together. Felt a bit silly for having gone in but I’m grateful it wasn’t a kidney stone.

I had a fun conversation with the X-ray lady. She had to take me to the X-ray machine in a wheelchair. I asked her how many steps she walked a day and she said it varied but she always managed to get at least 10,000 steps a day. I mentioned when I walked the Camino one day I had taken over 34,000 steps. That led to a discussion about the Camino, which she had heard about. She was a sweet lady and it was fun to talk about my experience.

I had trouble falling asleep once we got home. I got up around 2:00 and took a second bath and that did the trick. I sure was sleeping good when the alarm went off this morning at 7:00.

Cody came out a little before 8:00. He was very good today and we had a quiet day with him playing in the living room. I was not very high energy today but he was able to entertain himself. He didn’t have any melt downs today and seemed to have had a fun day.

I had a bit of trouble finding him some kid friendly food. I fixed a cheese quesadilla but he didn’t like that. I had some string cheese and he ate that. He asked me later for some ham but I didn’t have that. I did have some turkey and he said he would try that. He put pepper on it and ate it right up. Glad he found something he likes. All the kid friendly food is out of the house with the other kiddos gone.

The doctor prescribed some muscle relaxers for me so when Kathy got home from work she went to Emporia and picked those up for me. I haven’t taken one yet as the pain is almost gone. I might take one before I go to bed tonight and see if I can totally knock the pain away.

After Cody left at 4:00 I laid down and slept hard for about an hour. I’m still very tired but hoping that I will get a good night’s sleep tonight and be back to normal tomorrow.

Both Kathy and I were tired today. Poor Kathy had to go to work early this morning. She didn’t get much sleep last night either. She went to bed early tonight as she has to work tomorrow. I will head to bed early tonight too.

Still staying on my eating plan. I am eating two meals a day and then a snack and calling it good. Sure is easier only having to fix two meals a day instead of three. I don’t get hungry when I fast. My first three weeks on this plan I have lost eight pounds. I am betting the weight loss will slow down a bit but am pleased with what has happened so far. Lots more to come off but I am off to a good start.

Tomorrow I need to go to town and get chicken feed. Not sure if Tagen will play football tomorrow night or not since he missed a day of school this week. I may not go to the game anyways. It will depend on how tired I feel tomorrow.

No plans for the weekend. I have lots of cleaning that needs done if the mood strikes. I never have finished doing my fall deep clean in each room. I have a good start on it but need to get that finished up.

I didn’t do a lesson on boundaries today. With Cody here I didn’t have the time. I was too tired anyways. I will do one tomorrow. There are only eight lessons in this series and I am halfway done. Then I need to decide if I am going to take the full class or not.

Last night made me remember that I am so lucky to be in relatively good health. I need to start moving my body more and get into shape. At my age, I can’t take my good health for granted. I’m grateful I am back to eating on plan and taking off this weight again. Maybe 2024 will be the year that I get into shape. I need to find some exercise that I enjoy and make it part of my daily routine.

Next week I need to dig out my death doula material and refresh my memory on it. The health fair Kathy and I are going to have a booth at is the first Saturday of November and will be here very soon. I have lots of empty space on my calendar again next week so will have lots of time to prepare myself.

Grateful I didn’t have a kidney stone, grateful for the gentle care I received at the hospital, and grateful to have spent a day with Cody.

This has been a quiet day at home today. I haven’t gotten a thing done yet today and may not. It is cloudy with a few sprinkles and it feels like it should be a rest day. Unfortunately our chances of getting some real rain look slim to none.

I didn’t sleep well last night. I wold kinda fall asleep and then wake back up again. I finally got up a little after midnight and stayed up until 2:00. Did a bit better after that but never did feel like I got much sleep. I am tired this afternoon but I can’t take a nap today. My grandson Cody is coming at 7:30 in the morning so I have to get up early. If I take a nap I might not be able to fall asleep until late tonight.

Friday I need to go to town and get some chicken feed. I forgot to do that when I was in town yesterday. I still have a full bag but I get nervous when I get that low.

Kathy got rid of 10 dozen eggs for me today. That will pay for one sack of feed! Still have several dozen waiting on a new home. I’ll bring up more than another dozen today when I do chores.

I was fixing lunch and had a sharp pain across my back around the kidney area. Not sure what that was about but it still hurts. I can stretch and it doesn’t change anything so not sure what happened. Hope it quiets down soon. I’ll take some Ibuprofen in a bit if it doesn’t quiet down.

I have a chicken roasting in the crock pot today. It sure smells good. I was hoping it would be ready so I could have it for lunch but it wasn’t done yet. I’ll have some of it tomorrow for lunch.

My lesson on boundaries yesterday talked about what to do when someone brings their business into a community space. It then becomes your shared business and it needs to be addressed. The instructor reminds us that when someone violates boundaries, they are the one that committed the violation so our speaking up is a response, not a defense. Ummmm….. This is going to take some practice.

As a chronic people pleaser, confronting someone that violates boundaries is going to be hard for me at first. I need to remember the slogan of “Honor Self and Honor Others”. There is a way to honor both and still confront boundaries violations. If the other person doesn’t respond well, then I get to make a choice on what to do. I can leave the situation until things cool down, not spend time with them again, etc. I am not responsible for their reactions and feelings after something is said to them.

The instructor also urges us to be aware of boundary violations in the greater community and speak up against them. When someone (county commission, state representative, US Senator, etc.) gets away with what they are saying, they are likely to continue to violate boundaries thinking our being quiet is consent.

Lots to think about and start practicing. I will see what today’s lesson will teach me. Giving me lots to think about and start to change about myself.

I got my second package from Ireland this week. Everything I had purchased arrived in great shape. I was so grateful the stores offered free shipping as I didn’t have luggage space to bring home many things. Part of my Christmas shopping is complete!

I got the rest of the yard mowed last night. Soon I will need to call John Deere and have them come pick up the mower for it’s annual tuneup. If we don’t get more rain before we get a hard freeze, I won’t have to mow again this year. I will wait until we get our first hard freeze before I send the mower off.

I need to get up and move my body before I fall asleep in my chair. Sure wish I could be this tired at night when I am in bed. Sometimes I think sleep is one of the 10 Wonders of the World. I wonder if it will find me most nights!

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful my package arrived safely from Ireland, and grateful for the lessons on boundaries.

I went to Emporia early afternoon to pick up my weekly on-line grocery order. Didn’t need much again this week. I remembered to wash the car while I was in town. I stopped at Wendy’s and got some chili. I enjoy their chili and it made a great lunch.

Michelle had received a package late last week so I took that by her office and gave the package to her. Then I headed home.

Kathy went out this morning and cleaned out the chicken coop for me. I helped a bit but she did the dirty work. I kept an eye out for the rooster but he left us alone. Sure feels good to have a clean coop again. It was way over due for a good cleaning.

I still need to get out and mow. I had forgotten about it until I took trash down. I stopped at the barn and got two bags of trash Michelle had fixed up and saw the mower and then remembered that is on my to-do list today too. When I get done blogging, I will go down and get that little job done. It shouldn’t take more than an hour to do it.

Craig let me know his brother died yesterday. My heart is hurting for Craig and his family. Joe was well loved and will be very missed. Joe was Craig’s first and best friend and I know Craig is hurting right now.

My Camino friends from California face-timed me today. It is always a good day when I hear from them. It had been a bit since they had called and it was nice to catch each other up on happenings in our lives. Every time I talk to her I find out about a new baby or newly engaged grandchild. Their life revolves around their huge family and it is always fun to hear what their group is up to.

When I get done with mowing I will go watch another class on boundaries. It is so good I could watch the whole class in one sitting but am giving myself some processing time between classes so the information can sink in. Sure wish there had been a class like this years ago. It feels like it is life changing type of stuff.

While I was down helping Kathy clean out the chicken coop, my blood pressure dropped. Sure wish I knew what caused that. Came back up to the house and sat for a bit and drank some water and it came back up again. I hadn’t drank much this morning so I might have been a touch dehydrated. I don’t like the feeling I get when my blood pressure drops. It hadn’t done that for a bit. This afternoon it was 123/74 so back to normal.

The weather today has been fall perfect. Mid 70’s with very light wind and lots of blue skies and sunshine. They just don’t get much better than today. It got down to the upper 30’s last night. First freeze isn’t too far away. I’ll be glad to get some allergy relief when it freezes. I’m not a big fan of winter weather though so not looking forward to the cold.

I got home from my UK trip three weeks ago today. A lot has happened in these three weeks. It sure feels good to have a very quiet week this week ahead of me. My body and soul needed to slow down and rest.

My eating continues on plan. I am liking fasting. It adds a challenge to my day and I seem to be adapting to it easily. I do have to pay attention and make sure I eat enough calories though. I am only eating two meals a day now and I added a fruit snack before I started my fast. I will see if that helps.

I have’s heard if the windows have arrived yet. They should be at the store getting stained and ready for installation. The last update I got they said they would be here before November 1 to install them. It is almost here so hoping they are still on schedule. Looking forward to having them installed as well as the EFIS repaired.

Thursday Cody is coming for the day so that will keep me busy. Ellexia is with her dad this week so she won’t be able to come out. Maybe I can sweet talk Tagen and Lily into coming out for a bit. I will entice them with a meal.

Tagen stayed home sick today so don’t think he will get to play Friday night. That means I won’t go to Junction City Friday night. I won’t mind if that is the case. He has one last JV game next Monday if he wants to play in it and then his season is over.

No plans for the weekend. It feels so good to have lots of empty space on my calendar right bow. I will need to get back out there sooner or later but right now my soul needs lots and lots of quiet home time.

Grateful for this picture perfect fall day, grateful the chickens have fresh linens, and grateful for the love and life of Joe.

What a beautiful day on the prairie. A touch cool for my liking but I am loving the bright blue skies and lots of sunshine. It is to be in the low 70’s tomorrow – perfect!

Tagen didn’t go to the football game today so I didn’t have to drive to Topeka this afternoon. That freed up some time for me. Not sure why he didn’t go but am grateful for the extra empty space.

I did some desk work today. I hadn’t gone through my desk for a bit and some things needed tended to. I printed out copies of my blog from March 16, 2023 to present. I lost three years of my blog several years ago when the web site I use changed platforms. I learned my lesson and print out a copy now. I bind them in big three-ring binder books. Not sure what I will ever do with them but some day my great-grandchildren might have fun reading them.

I watched another lesson on Boundaries today. The on-line instructor I am taking the class from is really good. I still may sign up for her longer class. I’ll wait and decide when I finish this one.

I feel like I owe everyone I have ever interacted with an apology. I learned today how I violated others boundaries in the past. I didn’t realize what I was doing. When you learn better you do better! I also learned how others have violated my boundaries and I allowed it to happen not realizing what was happening. This is good material and am grateful for the lessons. Her website is boundaried.com if you are interested in learning more about boundaries. Her slogan for the class is Honor Self and Honor Others.

The wind has quieted down a bit today and is to be even quieter tomorrow. I will put cleaning out the chicken coop and finishing up the mowing on my must to list. Both of those things need to get done and I have been waiting for a quiet, warm day to do them.

I’ll probably go to town tomorrow or Wednesday and pick up a few groceries. It feels go good to stay home that it is hard to make myself go to town. I was going to stop on the way home from the game tonight and get what I needed but since I didn’t go I will have to make a trip sometime this week. Don’t need many groceries. Feels weird only buying a few things a week again.

Still staying on my eating plan and experimenting with fasting. I am finding that if I fast for 18 – 20 hours, I am less hungry and don’t eat as much. I only eat two meals a day now. I do try to increase the amount of protein I eat so I can make sure to get enough protein in the two meals. I’m losing about two pounds a week and trust that will continue. It will take me to February to get back down to where I want to be. Dang it anyways! Wish it would come off as fast as I can put it on. Hoping I have learned my lesson and this time it will stay off.

Still need to make an appointment with the gym trainer and get started with that. I was hoping the KU Research team would call me and tell me they have gotten the free gym and workout program started but they haven’t called yet. Don’t know that they will so best get my butt in gear and get started at the gym in Cottonwood Falls. The Himalayan hike is still calling to me! I am so out of shape it is going to take months to get back into shape.

Starting to remember how glorious it is to have lots of empty space. Something is shifting in me and I feel like I am getting prepared for something new to come into my life. Not sure what it might be, but welcoming what ever comes.

I listened to a blog the other day on happiness. The guy was making the point that happiness is a choice and acceptance of reality. If you are unhappy it is probably because how life is doesn’t match with your expectations and wishes of how it should be. That rang a bell for me. When one can accept whatever is going on in their life with grace and acceptance, the chances that you are happy is much higher then if you are in resistance to what is happening and wished it would change. I need to tattoo that on me to remind myself. Accept what is! See if for what it is and leave my expectations behind. When I can do that, I do experience more peace and happiness.

Grateful for the teachers I have found on-line, grateful my desk is cleaned, and grateful for the sunshine today.

I took a day of rest today. It is cold out and cloudy and I am having a low energy type of day. Nothing on my to-do list is pending so decided to not even attempt to cross something off the list. Somedays you need to give in and go with the path of least resistance, which for me was a day of rest today.

I did get my chicken chores done. The girls are giving me between 18 – 22 eggs a day. I have a big stack of eggs if anyone needs some. $3 a dozen. As Cody says they are Yummy for the tummy!

Tomorrow late afternoon I am going to Topeka for Tagen’s JV game at 6:15. Hoping it won’t be quite so cold then as it is now. I will remember to take a blanket this time, just in case.

I am enjoying having lots of empty space in my life again. I can feel my body getting more relaxed by the day. As an introvert, I need lots of quiet, alone time to recharge myself. It does my body good!

Have someone interested in renting space in my barn. He came to look at it today and sounds interested. We shall see if he takes it. I need to get down there and do some rearranging if he decides to rent it. I have a trailer that needs sold, a doghouse to take to town, and lots of trash to get out of there. I forget about the barn most of the time and forget to go down there and clean it up.

It is to warm up this week and the wind is to slow down some. Maybe I can get out and get the chicken coop cleaned out and the rest of the yard mowed.

I turned my furnace on earlier last week. I hope I can turn it back off again this week. Way too early to be burning propane but it got cold! I need to go down and check the level of propane in my tank to make sure it has enough to get me through another cold spell or two.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the little things that need done around here. I let the yard get away from me this year and the flower beds all need some tender loving care to clean them up for the winter. I need to get the weed wacker out and clean up the edges of the yard before winter too. Lots of cleaning needs done inside and the barn needs cleaned out. Unfortunately none of it is urgent and pressing so I tend to put it off again and again. If I don’t get to some of the outside work, I won’t be able to get it done before the snow flies.

Feeling very content and full this afternoon. I feel like I have finally gotten all the way home from my trip and am finding my new rhythm without the kiddos here. I trust I won’t have any more emergency home repairs for a bit and things can stay calmed down around here and I can deal with normal stuff. I kinda lost knowing what normal feels like.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for my fireplace that has helped keep me warm today, and grateful I allowed myself a complete rest day today.

What a fun gathering of friends we had today to watch the solar eclipse. My friends that came were just as excited about seeing the eclipse as I was. It was very cloudy but the clouds would part just often enough that we got to see the sun become eclipsed by the moon. Amazing really since it was so cloudy. The sun looked more like the moon during the eclipse process. We didn’t get to see the ring of fire that others way south and west of us got to see but we definitely could see the progression of the moon covering the sun and then retreating.

I served a taco lunch that went over well. All of us enjoyed eating and the company around the table. I need to do this more often. I really enjoy having good friends over.

I’m tired this afternoon. I felt weird this morning and finally realized it was from the energy of the eclipse. I have felt better as the day went on but feel drained this afternoon. A good nap will fix that!

I am so looking forward to a couple days of empty space ahead of me next week. I am going to Topeka for a football game Monday evening but have the rest of the week free. I will continue working on getting my house deep cleaned and puttering around the house. It will feel good to not have much on my to-do list.

Thursday Cody is coming to play for the day. I asked Ellexia if she wanted to bring a friend out and come out for the day too. She will help me keep Cody entertained. He is easy to entertain if I let him watch TV all day. I try not to do that though.

It is only to reach 51 for the high today and tomorrow. Man! Where did the warm weather go all of a sudden? It is to warm back up a bit next week. This time of year you never know what the temperature will be from day to day. I am looking forward to the wind calming down a bit. The last two days have been very windy on top of this hill.

I can’t believe Christmas is only a little over two months away. This year has flown by. I guess I need to start thinking about the holidays and what I want to do with them this year. Last year I was in a fog and didn’t do much. I never did get my Christmas tree put up. We didn’t have our Christmas celebration until January and by then it was too late to put the tree up. Not sure I will put it up this year either. We shall see what my mood is and if I do or not. I don’t think anyone missed it last year – at least if they did they didn’t say anything.

Tagen got to play a couple of times during the game last night. Unfortunately his team lost big again. They had some good plays but never did find the end zone with the ball. It has been a very tough season for them. So proud of him for sticking it out to the end of the season. He has one more varsity game to go and two more JV games. Trusting he will make it through them without an injury.

Doing my bet to stay grounded and above neutral level on the chart of consciousness. The world feels scary and out of control right now. I am limiting myself on how much news I read daily. Fear does not serve me well and I need to stay out of it. I am hoping with the eclipse over, things can start to calm back down a bit. It never ceases to amaze me how humans can hurt each other. Preferences have become confused with truth. Not sure what it will take to change the global tide. Staying out of fear and in love is the only thing I know I can do.

Grateful for friends that appreciate the wonders of the universe and celebrate them with me, grateful for empty space that allows me to recharge and refill, and grateful for a warm house on this cool, fall day.

I had trouble sleeping last night. I slept for two or three hours and then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Finally got up and stayed up for a couple of hours then took another hot bath. Went back to bed and was able to get a second sleep. I woke up not feeling very rested though. Why is sleep so hard to find sometimes?

The wind is in a big hurry today. We had a 52.2 MPH wind gust today and it is averaging in the high 20’s to low 30’s. Sure hope it blows in some rain.

I’m afraid the forecast is calling for cloudy skies tomorrow. I am still going to host a solar eclipse watch party but am thinking we won’t be able to see the ring of fire. We will, however, feel the effects of it. It will be fun to see my friends and reconnect with them. It feels like it has been a long time since I did that.

Kathy and I are going to Tagen’s football game tonight. It is at Emporia. It is Senior night so Tagen will be recognized along with all the other senior players. They have had a tough season and haven’t won any games. I am so proud of him for sticking it out though even when he doesn’t get to hardly play at all. The summer season of football started with him getting a concussion that took three weeks to clear. The kid has more guts then I do to keep playing.

Next week looks fairly quiet for me. I will be watching Cody on Thursday as there is no school. I might see if I can talk Tagen or Ellexia to come out that day and help me entertain him.

Monday night Tagen has a JV game in Topeka that I might go to. If Michelle can’t go then I will go. Friday the team plays in Junction City so I may go visit my friend in Manhattan and then go to the game. We shall see how the week shakes out. Going places sounds fun until it is time to go and then I can talk myself out of going.

It will be delightful to have a quiet week. I have some things to continue to work on around here. I also want to get back to my death doula material and review it to prepare myself for the health fair that is the first Saturday in November.

I signed up for a class on Boundaries that I will spend some time with next week too. The lady that does these also does an eight week class but I wanted to see if I like it well enough before I spend the dollars to do that big class. This class feels more doable both time wise and financially. She teaches how boundaries are an inside job. They are not to be put in place to control others. They are to teach yourself what to do if someone invades your personal space and time.

As a recovering people pleaser and co-dependent person, I have not done a good job setting and maintaining my boundaries. I give too much of myself to others – sometimes even if they don’t want it. I am doing much better about that but a few lessons and tips won’t hurt.

The leader teaches it is important to know where you start and stop and where others stop and start. I have to tend to my own boundaries and let others tend to theirs. When both parties have clear boundaries, a real intimate relationship can develop.

The only thing I have control over is myself and my reactions to others. Happiness and peace are inside jobs. No one can give you that. It has taken me a long time to figure that out. Better late then never. Or as the saying goes – when you know better, you do better.

Grateful for a quiet week ahead, grateful for teachers that help teach me about myself, and grateful to have come this far in my life journey.

Happy birthday mom. She would have been 94 today. Hard to believe she has been gone 16 years. I think of her daily and am so very grateful for all the things she shared with me.

This has been a much better day. I slept most of yesterday. My temperature finally broke in the late evening. I was surprised I was able to sleep last night since I took three naps yesterday. It must have been a reaction to the RSV vaccine as what ever it was is gone today. Usually if I have a reaction to a vaccine it only lasts for about 24 hours.

Have gotten some cleaning done today. Am taking a short break and I will get back at it. I am working on the living room, dining room and kitchen today. Decided to wait on my bedroom as the company coming Saturday won’t go in there.

I have been decluttering my kitchen, dining room and living room. It amazes me how stuff piles up. I usually do a pretty good job of decluttering daily but for some reason had let stuff pile up. It feels so good to have empty tables and counter tops again.

I had gotten notice three weeks ago that one of the packages I had shipped from Ireland should be arriving and they gave me the tracking number. They said it would take three to four weeks to arrive so I kinda forgot about it. I saw the email today and clicked on it so I could track the package. To my surprise it said the package had been delivered October 4. I guessed it might me on my neighbor’s porch so I drove down there and there it was. It had been sitting out for over a week. Grateful we hadn’t gotten wind or rain. Grateful the package got here and everything is safe. Still waiting on one more package from Ireland to arrive. Most of the stuff in the packages are Christmas presents.

Sure hope the wind and clouds today blow in some rain. We only have a slight chance for some. Maybe I need to go to town and wash my car again. We sure need rain. Many locals have wells that have gone dry and are having to haul water. Time consuming, expensive and frustrating experience for them.

Still eating on plan. I am on a weight loss plateau this week. I remember from five years ago doing this. Frustrating but I have to trust the process. I will lose two or three pounds all at once and then not lose any more for another week or two. I sure feel better now that I am back on plan. Sure wish the weight would come off as fast as I can pack it on.

When I was walking the Camino I was in Santiago on this day eight years ago. My feet were absolutely trashed and hurting. However, something told me to make my way back to the Cathedral for noon mass. I am not a Catholic but there is something about churches that pulls me in. I got to the mass late but actually I was just on time as they just started swinging the Botafumeiro. It is not used in every mass and it was a special treat to get to see it. I was grateful I had listened to my inner guidance so I could see it.

I had planned my walk to leave KS on my birthday and to arrive in Santiago on my mother’s birthday. I actually arrived a day early but I stayed over till the 13th when I left for a week in Paris. It seemed fitting to bookend my trip with those dates.

Loving this empty space day. It feels like it has been ages since I have had one. I work a bit, sit for a bit, work some more and repeat. I am taking my time and doing a very deep clean and cleaning things I normally don’t stop to clean. The house is feeling lighter already.

Thinking of those in Israel and the innocent Palestinian that are caught in this mess. When will we as a nation learn that war and violence doesn’t ever solve a problem? My heart aches for all in danger and who’s lives are being disrupted and threatened. We all have more in common then we do differences. It is time to really see and hear each other and get over our personal preferences and judgements of those that have different ones. Personal preferences are not truth.

When I think about all the world’s problems I can get overwhelmed and depressed. I have to keep reminding myself that the best thing I can do for the world is to continue to do my own inner work. When I don’t show up full of love and light, I add to the world’s negative energy. When I am conscious and aware, I can stay above the neutral level on the chart of consciousness and help raise the vibration of all. Some days it just doesn’t feel like that is enough though. However, if everyone did that, the world would be a much better place.

Grateful what ever I had yesterday is gone today, grateful for the cleaning I have gotten done so far today, and grateful for the life and love of my mother.

This date is forever burned into my body’s memory cells as the day I completed the 500 mile Camino de Santiago. I still don’t know where I got the courage to attempt it, let alone finish it. I just knew deep in my soul that it was something I had to do. I am eternally grateful that I set aside my fears and did it.

The lessons I learned during the walk still remain with me today. When I get overwhelmed with life I remember to take things one step at a time. I have a tendency to try to eat the whole elephant with one bite and take on more then I should. When I tackle things one step at a time amazing things can happen.

Today has been a wipeout. I am running a temperature this afternoon. It must be from the RSV vaccine. The arm where the shot was given is very sore too. The pharmacist told me they hadn’t heard of anyone having issues with it. Leave it to me to have this reaction.

I had trouble falling asleep last night. I have restless leg and it felt like my insides were restless. I finally took a second bath and some Tylenol and some restless leg medication. It worked and I was able to sleep hard for several hours. I had a phone call this morning and it woke me up. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I got up. I was low energy this morning so gave myself this morning off. My plan was to hit it hard this afternoon but that didn’t happen. I slept in my chair for two hours and woke up with a temperature. I have that bone chill that I can’t warm up. Better days are ahead. This should be short lived.

Trusting that tomorrow I will be feeling better. I have to get some things done. We shall see what my body feels like tomorrow.

Taking what feels like a mandatory day of rest. I have been going very fast and hard since I got home and probably was overdue for a rest day. I will allow myself to relax into the rest and enjoy the evening.

Grateful for my Camino experience, grateful I could take a day of rest, and grateful for getting lots of sleep today.

Today has gone a bit differently then I planned. I got a lot done though. I finished washing up all the linens from the two guest bedrooms downstairs and started on my bedroom.

I went to Emporia a little after noon. I dropped off Tagen’s pillows and some blankets he had forgotten to take. I picked up the order I had placed with Walmart yesterday. I wanted five things and they only had three of the five and then ended up shorting me one thing today. They are shipping the other two things.

I went in the store and got some groceries. I wasn’t organized enough to place an on-line order so did it the old fashioned way and got things myself. I managed not to over shop and impulse buy much.

I loaded my car and had some time to kill before my vaccine appointment at 3:00. I took my car to the car wash and got it cleaned up a bit. I bought the once a day monthly pass this time. I will see if I remember to use it enough to pay for that. It was only $6 more than a normal car wash so if I use it even one time it will pay for itself. As I was driving home we got a few sprinkles. Maybe I need to wash my car everyday if that will help it rain around here.

I went back to Walmart and got my RSV vaccine. When I checked in they thought I was there for my flu shot. My email reminder clearly said the RSV vaccine. Not sure what happened with their system but they were able to get me the RSV vaccine. The lady said they have a short supply of them and never know when they will get more in. I asked about a reaction to it and she said no one has reported any yet. We shall see if I am the exception.

I scheduled my flu shot for two weeks. I refuse to take more then one shot at a time. If I have a reaction I want to know which one caused it.

When I went out to the parking lot to go to my car I had trouble finding it. It was clean and I was still looking for a dirt covered red car.

On the way home the guy that is getting rid of Tagen’s truck called me. He needed the title signed in a different spot. I came home and unloaded the car and put away the refrigerator stuff. I loaded the car with the recycling material and went to Cottonwood Falls. I dumped the recycling and then went to the shop to pick up the title.

I drove back into Emporia to get Michelle’s signature and then drove it back to Cottonwood Falls. The guy wasn’t there when I got there but showed up about 10 minutes later. He gave me the cash for the pickup and I wrote a check for his repair job.

I finally got home around 5:00. I had to drive the trash down to the curb and do chicken chores. Came in and fixed dinner and am finally sitting in my chair for the first time all afternoon. I feel like I ran circles this afternoon and didn’t get near done what I wanted to.

Feels good to have the truck taken care of though. I will give Tagen his dollars next time I see him. He came out of this deal better then I did!

I still want to get downstairs tonight and put the two guest bedrooms back together. I’m tired of the linens sitting in my dining room and laundry room.

Tomorrow I hope to get my bedroom and bathroom deep cleaned and then Thursday do the living room, dining room and kitchen. Friday I will finish up the upstairs and do the hallway, study and laundry room. We shall see if I get all that done or not. I have company coming Saturday for lunch so need to get the worst of it done before then.

I think I get to stay home until I go to the football game Friday night. I have lots to do here. I haven’t made it out to finish the mowing or to clean out the chicken coop. Too much to do and not enough energy to do it all. It will get done – just not sure when.

I have been home from my UK trip for two weeks. Not sure what I have done with myself but time is flying by right now. Sure hope things can slow down next week. I miss having empty space in my life.

Something has shifted in me. I noticed my self-talk lately has been more positive then it has been for a long time. I have climbed out of the muck pond and feel like I am ready to fully embrace life again. It has been a long time since I have felt this way.

Tomorrow is my 8th anniversary of walking the Camino de Santiago. What an adventure that was. The last day on the trail was full of little miracles that make me smile 8 years later. Kathy joined me in Paris for a week after the walk was over. That was an adventure too! I am so blessed!

I got a letter from the Breast Center at the hospital today telling me my mammogram was normal. My doctor’s office had called to tell me that the day of the mammogram. I appreciated the written confirmation of it though.

Six years ago I was recovering from having my thyroid removed and being told they discovered cancer in it after they removed it. Other than struggling to manage my TSH levels I have done well post-op. Each year I stay cancer free decreases the odds of the cancer reoccurring. I rarely think about it and often forget I am a cancer survivor. My Endocrinologist is good about doing bi-annual checkups and monitoring my condition so if something does pop up she is on top of it.

Feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude for all the ways that I am blessed tonight. Sometimes I deal with life a day at a time and forget to look back and see how far I have come and how much I have changed.

Grateful Tagen’s pickup is taken care of, grateful for vaccines, and grateful I have two quiet days at home ahead of me.

Long day. It is almost 10:00 and I just got home. I went with Tagen’s girlfriend to Wichita to watch Tagen play football. He got to play one set tonight. Grateful I was there to watch him.

After the game we went to Freddy’s for dinner and then made a quick stop at Costco. Costco was out of the chicken tenders that I went there for so got the frozen ones instead. Picked up a few other things and then headed home.

The plumber was able to make it to Michelle’s house to fix her toilet today. The roofer came and fix some shingles that were not attached correctly. At least two things got crossed off my list today, if nothing else got done.

I did finish washing up all the bedding from the two guest rooms downstairs. Tomorrow I will get those two rooms cleaned and put back together again.

I placed an order for pickup at Walmart. I started the order differently then I normally do and couldn’t figure out how to change the pickup time. The site said they would hold the order for three days so hoping it will be ready for me tomorrow afternoon when I go. I needed five things and they were out of stock on two of them. I think they are shipping the two items to me, if I understood the site properly. We shall see.

I am getting the new RSV vaccine tomorrow afternoon. I read an article today that said the flu, Covid, shingles and RSV vaccines help prevent Dementia. Wow! That would be ever so helpful if that study turns out to be true.

I need to pick up a few groceries while I am at Walmart tomorrow too. I haven’t placed an order for them so will just do it the old-fashion way and go pick them up myself since I have to go in the store anyways.

I need to take the two boxes of stuff I have found the kiddos left behind. One of the boxes has some pillows in it and Tagen told me tonight he doesn’t have a pillow for his bed. I will drop those off while I am in town tomorrow.

Thankfully the rest of the week I get to stay home and clean. I am ready for a few quiet days at home. It feels like it has been very busy since I got home from my trip and I haven’t had a lot of quiet time.

Friday night is Senior recognition night for the football team. I will go to that game as it will be Tagen’s last home game. He has one more away game the following week and I’m not sure if I will make it to that one or not. If Michelle can’t go, then I will go otherwise I will probably skip it. He didn’t get to play much this year but he hadn’t gone out for football for two years. I’m proud that he stuck the season out even when he didn’t get to play much. It would have been easier for him to walk away earlier in the season. They haven’t won many games, if any this year so it has been a tough season for the whole team.

I ordered some new business cards for Kathy and I so we can pass them out at the health fair in November. It is exciting to think that together we can get a business going and offer death doula services. It is a much needed service in this area. I need to get my books out and refresh my memory on the ins and outs of planning for your death.

I’ve needed something that has a bit of structure to it to keep me busy. Getting that business up and running will fit my need nicely. I’m excited to see where it goes and if we can get it up and running.

I can feel that things are opening up for me in a new way. This last year has been a healing year for me. I feel like I have found my footing and grounding in a new way and am on more solid ground then I have been on for a long time. Time for me to fly and get back out and live big.

Grateful to see Tagen play football tonight, grateful he stayed safe playing tonight, and grateful some things got crossed off my to-do list today.

I have done countless number of loads of laundry today and the laundry floor is still covered. I brought up all the linens from the two guest bedrooms downstairs to wash. It will take me most of the day tomorrow to get it all done and then I get to put the rooms back together after I wash them all down.

I didn’t make it out to mow this afternoon as Jason, Melissa and Cody came out for the afternoon. It was fun visiting with them. I hadn’t seen them since I got home. They have a lot going on in their lives and I appreciate them taking an afternoon to come see me. Jason replaced one of the light bulbs in the living room for me. I can use the extension pole and do it but having him do it was much easier. Jason made it look super easy.

Cody helped me gather eggs today. We both kept a close eye on the rooster to make sure he didn’t come after us. Cody took home the eggs we gathered. He said the eggs looked yummy.

I spent almost 11 hours in bed last night. I was asleep by 8:00. I woke up at 10:00 and at first thought it was 10:00 in the morning but then realized it was dark outside. I had one of those nights where I would sleep for an hour or two, wake up and be awake for an hour or two and rinse and repeat all night. I did feel rested when I got up this morning though.

I need to remember to call a plumber first thing in the morning and get them over to Michelle’s house to check out her toilet. The tank isn’t filling correctly so it doesn’t flush well. Hopefully it is an easy and quick fix. I still need to call and get the glass people out to measure the broken window too.

Tomorrow afternoon I am taking Tagen’s girlfriend to Tagen’s football game in Wichita. We will go out for dinner afterwards and then I need to make a quick stop at Costco. I won’t get a lot of cleaning done tomorrow either.

Tuesday afternoon I am getting the new RSV vaccine. I will pick up a few groceries since I will be in town. Hopefully this vaccine won’t knock me out for 24 hours like the Covid one did.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for Wednesday, Thursday or Friday so should be able to get lots of cleaning done those days.

It has felt grounding for me to clean the house and wash everything up. It feels like it changes the energy in the house somehow. It will be wonderful to have the whole house clean by the end of the week.

Still feeling a bit out of sorts today but things have been a bit easier for me today then they were yesterday. I feel energy moving internally today and know that things are resetting. It was a huge change for me having the three extras in the house for almost four months and I will need time to process all of that and release it and then adjust to them not being here. I’m grateful I understand what is happening to me and that I know to allow it to unfold as needed. I can’t rush a process like this and never know how long it will take.

I’ve managed to stay on my eating plan everyday since I have been home from the UK. Still detoxing a bit from the flour and sugar I have eaten over the last six months but that is getting easier too. This time I am also trying fasting for 14 – 16 hours a day. That seems to be going well. Sure wish I could take weight off as fast as I can gain it. Feels good to be back on plan and doing something to take care of myself.

I need to call and make an appointment with the trainer and get that process started. It is time for me to get this body back into shape. That Himalayan walking tour is still calling to me and I have to get started getting into shape if I want to do it next fall.

Grateful Jason and his family spent the afternoon with me, grateful to be back on track with my eating plan, and grateful for this beautiful fall day.

I had trouble finding sleep for the longest time last night. I finally fell asleep around 4:00 this morning. I slept good for a short time but woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I still felt tired when I got up.

Michelle texted me this morning to tell me her toilet isn’t flushing properly. Dang it anyways! I am getting tired of having to figure out how to get things fixed. Between Michelle’s house and this house it seems I can’t catch a break. Enough already! I will have to call a plumber first thing Monday morning and see if I can get someone out to look at it.

I got one bedroom completely reset and cleaned today. I lost count how many loads of laundry I did to accomplish that. Feels good to have one room done. I’m not going to count how many more I have to do. I would get too overwhelmed. My goal is to do at least one room a day until I get done. It might take me till the end of the month to accomplish that.

I have been cranky today. I’m still tired and have felt uncomfortable in my own skin today. Not sure what that is all about. I got cold this morning and had the hardest time warming up. I got up and moved my body and that helped but the crankiness didn’t go away. Just one of those days, I guess.

I did go into Cottonwood Falls to listen to the live music. I only stayed for about an hour. The music was delightful but it was too peopley for me. There was a lady that came up to talk to the person in front of me and she stood up for over 15 minutes blocking my view of the music. I found myself getting cranky and decided to come home for the safety of those around me.

I don’t like when I allow someone else to push my buttons. I certainly had options and could have moved but I wasn’t in the mood to play nice. I decided the best thing for me was to remove myself completely.

It was a perfect fall weather day for an outdoor celebration today. I wore a sweater and sat in the sun and was very comfortable. They have more music at 7:00 tonight followed by a firework show but I don’t think I will go back in. It did me good to get out of the house for a short bit and sit outside. I was hoping it would help me shake off my crankiness but so far that didn’t happen.

Not much on my calendar for next week. I am getting the new RSV vaccine on Tuesday. Hoping I don’t have a reaction to it. I had a foster daughter a long time ago that spent a week in the hospital due to RSV. I seem to have respiratory issues when I get sick and want to avoid RSV.

It will be good for me to have a very quiet week. Kathy came home from her housesitting job this afternoon. It is nice to just have the two of us in the house again. The house feels a bit big and lonely without the kiddos around. I think cleaning it good will help reset the energy of the house.

Monday Tagen has a football game at 4:00 in Wichita. I am taking his girlfriend and we are going to stop at Costco after the game. I don’t need a lot of things so it will be a quick stop.

Saturday I am having some friends over so we can watch the eclipse together. That will give me a reason to keep cleaning house as I will need the main part of the house done by Saturday. It will be good to see my friends again – it feels like it has been a long time since I have connected with them.

I have been practicing good self-care today and offering myself lots of grace. When I get unsettled I can usually calm myself and it doesn’t last too long. I know I have lots of emotion to release from the trip and from having the kiddos here for almost four months. Today feels like that is what happened. Not comfortable to do by any means, but necessary. If I can fully feel something, accept it for what it is without a story, I then can release it and be done with it. It is when I stuff things and resist them that I get myself into trouble.

The girls gave me 20 eggs today. That seems to be there normal these days. One day soon I need to clean the coop out. It is way past time to do that job. It is to be nice and cool most of the week so the weather will be perfect to get it cleaned out. The rooster ignored me today. I am on my guard watching him while I am down there. I hope he learned his lesson but I sure don’t trust him any more.

I need to remember to go out and mow tomorrow and finish up the yard. I have about half of it done so it won’t take but an hour or so to finish it up. Unless we get some rain it may be the last mow of the year.

Today reminds me of Pema Chodron’s book “Welcoming the Unwelcome”. She reminds me to accept anything that happens without judging it as good or bad but rather as it is. Some days are easy ones but days like today are just plain hard. It is what it is and when I can accept that it does make it a bit easier. Everyone has good and bad days. My life lesson is to react with equal grace to both types of days. Not sure I was successful at that today but I caught myself and did better. Tomorrow is a new day and a new chance!

Grateful for the beautiful weather today, grateful for the beautiful music I heard today, and grateful one room in this house is clean.

The movers ran into a scheduling conflict last night and were unable to unload Michelle. She and the two kids had to come back and spend one more night with me. Thankfully Michelle had washed a load of laundry and had forgotten to take it so they had clean clothes to put on this morning. Everything else was packed and in the truck. I happened to have some spare toothbrushes and toothpaste so they were good to go for the night.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t go to bed until after midnight so didn’t get much sleep. I got up a little before 6:00 as Tagen had to get up at 6:00 so he could leave by 6:30. I was able to chat with him a bit before he left.

I couldn’t pack him a lunch today as I had packed all the chips, etc. I had sandwich stuff but no lunch box – it was packed too! I gave him some $$ so he could buy his lunch today.

After Michelle and Ellexia left at 7:30 I sat in my chair and fell asleep. I was grateful for the extra sleep. I’m tired this afternoon but am releasing the tension I have held for the last bit and that is making me sore and tired. It will take me a week or so to find my new rhythm and routine with the kids gone.

I took my car to Dieker’s to see if I had a rock in the brake shoe. My car has been squeaking at times, but not consistently like it had the last two times this has happened. Sure enough, I had a rock in the break shoe. They didn’t even charge me for fixing it! Great service!

I forgot to check to see if Tagen’s truck is still at the repair shop while I was in town. I still need to settle with the repair man and give Tagen the dollars the junk man will pay to take his truck away. I’ll try to remember to do that Monday.

Went to Emporia after Cottonwood Falls. I needed a bag of ice and Michelle wanted to borrow a hammer and screwdriver. I stopped at the Hardware store and got her a took box and put some basics in it – hammer, tape measure, screwdrivers, pliers, a picture hanging kit, and my favorite – some zip ties. I took that over to her along with a car full of things that still needed moved to her new house.

Michelle is going to come out tonight and get the remaining TV’s and the dog. The poor dog’s food got packed too. He has been eating cat food and my dog’s food today. I’m sure he will be glad to get back with Michelle. I will be ever so grateful when he leaves.

I have done a few loads of laundry today. It is the time of year where I will wash up all the bedding in the house. Since the beds have all been used by the kiddos it is a good time to wash it all up. I have one bedroom almost done.

I will take next week and deep clean every room in the house. I need to wash away the summer dirt and dust and prepare the house for winter. Trust we get some rain soon to quiet down the dust so it will stay clean for a bit.

I turned my fireplace on this morning. I got a chill and couldn’t get warm. I’m not used to it being 55 for the high for the day. The wind has been in a big hurry all day and that makes it feel colder to me.

Tomorrow Cottonwood Falls is having a big 150th celebration of the Court House. They have live music most of the afternoon and I plan on going in and enjoying it. Several of my favorite local groups are performing. It is to warm up a bit tomorrow and be clear so it is a perfect day to sit and enjoy live music.

I still need to mow the rest of the yard. I got about half of it done yesterday. It is too cold to mow today so I will get the rest of it done this weekend.

Kathy’s housesitting job ends tomorrow so she will be back tomorrow night. I have missed seeing her since I have been home from vacation. She has been dropping by for a short time each day to check on her cat but otherwise has been at the housesitting job’s house.

Sitting with a lot of gratitude this afternoon for the time I had with Michelle and the kiddos. This time with them gave me a chance to get to know them on a deeper level. I had missed so much time with them during Covid. This helped me catch up a bit with them. I am grateful my house was big enough to offer them a sanctuary during their time of transition. I’m so excited for their new beginnings in their new house.

Eight years ago I was almost to finish walking the 500 mile Camino de Santiago. My Facebook memory pages are full of things I posted while I was walking. What an adventure that was. I think part of the reason I was a bit disappointed with my UK trip was my comparing it to the Camino. I don’t think anything I will ever do will beat my Camino experience.

Taking the rest of the day as a rest day. I am going to offer myself some grace and ease into my new routine. Today feels like a new beginning for myself in some ways. Not sure where this path is going to lead but it feels like the right one to be on. That is enough to know!

Grateful Michelle’s move is all but complete, so very grateful for the time I had with the kiddos, and grateful for new beginnings for all!

Moving day for Michelle. I packed up Ellexia’s room this morning and then helped Tagen finish up his. Michelle worked on her room and down in the barn. She took two car loads to the new house.

Michelle worked at the new house while the movers were here loading up. They didn’t show up until 1:00. One guy showed up then another joined him. The second guy had to go to town around 3:00 and hasn’t made it back out here yet. The other guy is finishing up. He only has a bed to load and then he will be done loading. I sure hope they plan to unload tonight. They may wait till morning.

I did some mowing this afternoon while the guys were loading. I was anxious and needed to move my body. That way I was available if they had a question – they just had to flag me down and I didn’t have to stand around and watch them.

Ellexia is cheering this afternoon so when the movers leave I will run into town to watch her and then take her home. The kiddos may have to spend the night here again depending on what the movers do.

I was pleasantly surprised when the A/C company called me today to tell me they could install the new blower motor this afternoon in Michelle’s new house. That was easy!

One thing at a time we are getting things done. Michelle took a huge step today moving into her own house. I trust this new beginning will work well for her and the kiddos.

A year ago Jim went to Colorado to give us a break from each other for a few days. I had finally figured out what was going on between us and needed a few days alone to make a decision on which life path I wanted to walk. Both choices were hard but one had a light at the end of the tunnel. I am grateful I chose the path I did as I am now seeing and feeling the light.

It took me a long time to figure out why I kept falling into the muck pond and why I had trouble getting out of it when I did. It is interesting because now that I have healed a bit, I rarely fall in the muck pond and if I do I don’t stay there very long. That helps me know I made the right decision.

Grateful for moving companies that do the heavy lifting, grateful for making the decision I did a year ago, and grateful for the time I had with Michelle and the two kiddos.

I slowed things down today. I woke up feeling as tired as I was when I went to bed. The storm had woken me up last night and I didn’t get a lot of sleep. It was fun to hear thunder roll and crash across the prairie last night. Wished we had gotten a good rain out of it. We got a bit but not much.

I had to reset the internet this morning. The storm must have knocked it off. Luckily all I had to do was power it off and then back on and it worked. Funny how that fixes most everything. Unplug for a bit and you can get up and going when you get plugged back in.

I went to Michelle’s house to let the HVAC man in. He was waiting for me in the driveway when I got there. I was there 30 minutes before they said he would arrive. He said he hadn’t been there long.

The heater checked out fine. He showed me how to change the filter. The existing one was very, very dirty. I don’t think it had been changed in a long time. I took a picture of it so I know the size to get for Michelle. The A/C needs a new blower motor. The existing one still works but he said it is going out. They are to price it out and give me a call to get permission to order it. Hopefully it isn’t thousands of dollars.

I painted most of Ellexia’s closet while I was waiting on the HVAC guy to get finished. I still have the very top of it to paint. It may need a second coat as I painted over a dark blue. It was hard to paint as there are some built-in shelves in there. I got too tired to finish.

I stopped at Walmart and got a few groceries. My grocery bill will be going way down now that the kiddos are moving out tomorrow. I only had to get what I needed for the next week which wasn’t much compared to what I had been buying.

I came home and took a nap. I slept good for over an hour. I think I will do chicken chores and fix dinner for Tagen but nothing else tonight. Tomorrow will be extra busy with the movers coming for Michelle’s things and I need a bit of rest today. Not sure why I ran out of gas today but I did. Sometimes it is easier to go with that then trying to fight through it.

Michelle’s financing for the new house got delayed for two weeks today so will put everything on hold for a bit. I’m grateful I am the seller so can be as flexible as needed. I hadn’t taken the contract to the title company yet so nothing official will get changed. This will give her more time to get moved in and make sure she likes the house before we proceed anyways.

I sent an email to the guy that is going to repair the Efis and gave him the projected time table for the windows. I sure hope he can get out here mid November and get this job done. I really don’t want to go through the winter without having the Efis repaired. We shall see how things work out.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend. I would like to go into Cottonwood Falls and see what all is happening with the 150th celebration of the courthouse. There is a concert Saturday night that I would like to go to. I’ll see how the move is going and if It still sounds like a good idea when it is time to go.

The organizer of the Chase County Health Fair called me today and invited Kathy and I to do a table at the upcoming Health Fair the first Saturday in November. We are both Death Doulas and I specialize in death planning and Kathy is well trained on bedside help. It will give me an incentive to get with the program and refresh my knowledge and start working a practice. Both of us are interested in being of service to our local friends in Chase County and this will be a great way to get the word out.

I managed to do a whole week of intermittent fasting. I lost four pounds which I am pleased with. I’m sure the weight loss will slow down some as a lot of it was water weight that I had from the trip. I don’t get hungry and I can tell my body seems to like this way of eating. I am back to eating my Bright Lines way, I eat my meals a couple hours apart and then fast for 14 – 16 hours a day. We will see where this gets me and how long I can continue it.

I promised myself that next week I will get back to going to the gym. There is a guy that is a great trainer that owns the Cottonwood gym so will get an appointment with him and get started. It is time for me to get this body back into shape. I don’t have much on my schedule for the next couple of months and I have all the time I need to get started. Time for me to focus on myself again and do what I need to do for me.

Still thinking about the walking trip in the Himalayas next fall. I need to get started working out now if I want to do it. I will have until March to make a final decision as that is when the payment is due. I’ll see if I can get with a workout program and stick with it so I know I would be successful walking.

The house already fills big and empty to me. I have had a rare afternoon with no one home. Kathy has been at her housesitting job since I have been home and I haven’t seen her much. With the kiddos moving out tomorrow I am already feeling the quiet. It will take me a bit to adjust to living here without several others. Kathy will be back this weekend and we will have to find our new “normal” together.

Taking a day of rest to allow my body to get 100% home from my trip. I kinda hit the ground running when I got home and haven’t stopped since. Balance can be hard for me to find sometimes. I think after today the jet lag will be gone and I will be home completely. – body, mind and spirit.

Grateful the closet is almost painted, grateful for a rest day, and grateful for what rain we did get last night.

Another busy day where I haven’t had a chance to sit down much.

Phil came out as I was leaving this morning. He replaced the circuit breaker for the dryer. I put a load of towels in the dryer this afternoon and it didn’t trip the breaker so thinking it is fixed.

I went to the hospital in Emporia this morning for my annual mammogram and bone density test. It was quick and painless.

Came home afterwards as I forgot to put the ladder in the car for painting. I did some laundry and gathered up trash to take to the curb, ran a load of dishes and picked up a bit here.

I went to Cottonwood Falls to deliver six dozen eggs. I checked on Tagen’s truck but it was still at the repair shop. Not sure when the junk man is coming to take it away.

A little before noon I had lunch and then I headed into town to paint. I got Ellexia’s bedroom painted. I still need to paint inside the closet but that is going to wait for another day. Today I did all ladder work and my arms were tired when I got her room done.

While I was there I tried to use the internet and discovered it wasn’t working. I called ValuNet and they came over to fix it. The modem was bad so they replaced it. I was impressed with their quick service.

Sutherland’s delivered the new oven while I was painting. Glad those two things got taken care of.

I noticed some shingles on the east side of the roof at Michelle’s new house were hanging on by a thread. I sent an email to the company that did the roof a couple years ago. The roof is still under warranty so they are going to send a crew over soon to fix it. That was a pleasant surprise that there would be no charge for that.

The guy that is moving Michelle later this week came by to look at how much stuff she has this afternoon. He is an old family friend so it was fun to visit with him.

I got 21 eggs from the girls today. I sold six dozen today but still have a bunch if anyone needs some.

Tomorrow the HVAC guy is coming to Michelle’s new house to check out the A/C and heater around 12:30. I will go in and wait for them to show up and learn how to change the furnace filter. I will paint on the inside of the closet while I am waiting for them.

I still need to call the glass guy and get him out to measure the window that needs replaced. I will try to remember to call him tomorrow

Looks like most of Michelle’s stuff will get moved on Thursday sometime. Not sure if she will be able to get the day off or not so will stay available if needed to help direct traffic for that. I’m sure that will be a very sweet day for Michelle. I trust this new beginnings for her will be productive and this house will serve her well.

Once the dust settles from the move, we will start the process so she can buy the house. There was too much going on to rush that. She should be able to close on the house sometime in November if she can get loan approval.

Maybe Friday I can start cleaning this house and resetting it from the kiddos moving out. The dust and dirt seems to be patiently waiting for me to get at it. As hard as the wind is blowing today and with how dusty it is, maybe it is a good thing I didn’t get a chance to get it cleaned before. Sure am hoping for some rain tonight to quiet down the dust.

Tagen requested chicken strips and macaroni and cheese for dinner. That boy sure does like those and can eat a bunch of it. He is bringing his girlfriend out for dinner so will need to make a bit extra.

I have been eating my dinner early so I can start my 14 – 16 hour fast by 5:00. I don’t get hungry in the evenings but I do get hungry mid-afternoon. I try to eat breakfast between 8:00 and 9:00 and then have dinner by 5:00 at the latest. It seems to be working well for me so far.

I’m not used to being so busy. I’m grateful I had a free week so I could take of some things for Michelle. It has been a stressful week for her. Sometimes it takes a village to support a family.

Grateful Ellexia’s room is done, grateful the roof repair is under warranty, and grateful the oven got delivered today.

What a day! I am sitting for the first time all day.

I got Tagen’s lunch packed and he left for school. I headed into Emporia to paint Ellexia’s room. I made a quick stop at Sutherland’s and then went to the new house and painted her room. I forgot my ladder so got all but the top part of the room painted.

While I was there, the internet provider came and hooked up internet service for the house. I’m glad I was there when he came so that job could get done.

I came home and Kathy helped me take the two dogs and cat to the vet for their annual shots. Kathy was able to get Sophia in her car without issue so we took her car. Her car sits much lower than mine does and it was easier to use. We managed to get both dogs and the cat in and out without incident. We kinda destroyed the exam room. Left lots of dog hair and slobbers from the dogs. All checked out fine and all got shots.

We stopped at Michelle’s house on our way home so Kathy could see the house.

Came home and got everyone unloaded. The cat was very happy to be free at last. I had made her spend the night in the laundry room so she would be easy to catch this afternoon. She was pissed at me for making her stay in.

I called and have the HVAC people coming Wednesday to Michelle’s house to check out the A/C and heater. The oven will be delivered tomorrow afternoon. Things are getting done.

Tomorrow I have to be at the hospital at 8:45 for a mammogram and a bone density test. Then I will go to Michelle’s house and finish painting Ellexia’s room and wait for the oven to be delivered. I think the woodwork in that room would look better if it was painted so will need to check with Ellexia and ask her about that. Not sure when the oven is coming so might have lots of time to kill waiting for it. I might as well be doing something productive while I am waiting.

Michelle officially sold her other house today. She is still waiting for her payout due to some complications but that should happen tomorrow. Grateful that the house closed and that part of things is almost settled.

Slowly things are moving forward for all of us. It is easy to get overwhelmed with all that is going on right now. Sometimes I need to just stop and take some deep breaths and remind myself all is well.

My handyman is going to come replace the circuit breaker for the dryer to make sure that isn’t the problem. If it still trips after he does that, then I will have to call for warranty service for it. I’m glad it still works as long as I go down each load and flip the circuit breaker.

Tagen is having dinner in town tonight. It is his girlfriend’s birthday. That means I don’t have to fix dinner as Ellexia is with her dad. This is a good night to get a night off from cooking.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that is going on. Still struggling a bit with jet lag. It feels like there are lots of moving parts and I’m not sure how things fit together yet. Good thing most of the things are flexible and we don’t have a definite time line for things to be done. If I can remember to take things one at a time and cross them off the list, all will get done – sooner or later.

I have managed to stay on my eating plan since I have been home. That feels good although the detox process is showing up. I forgot how tired I got when I went through this before. Not sure if I am tired from jet lag or the detox process. Either way I’m tired! Offering myself some grace and limiting what I feel I have to do each day. It will all get done, just not today is my new mantra.

Grateful most of Ellexia’s room is painted, grateful the dogs and cats appointment is done for the year, and grateful for Kathy’s help today.

I can’t believe it is October already. September flew by since I was traveling for three weeks of it.

Michelle got the keys to her new house this morning at 11:30. We loaded up her car and mine with kitchen stuff. It was good to get in the house and see what it is like empty. We discovered the oven that is there is very old and needs replaced. There is a broken window that needs replaced and the heating and A/C units need checked out.

Michelle is going to rent the house from me for a bit until she makes a final decision as to buying it. If she decides to buy it, we can start the closing process so she can own it officially. I want to make sure she is going to be happy there before I sell it to her.

Ellexia and Tagen both gave it a thumbs up. They both will have nice big bedrooms. The house is on three levels so they will have to get used to doing steps. There is a washer and dryer in the house which was a nice surprise. That will save Michelle some dollars up front.

Ellexia and I went to the hardware store and got a gallon of paint for her bedroom. I told her I would get it painted either tomorrow or Tuesday. The rest of the house could use a fresh coat of paint but I will wait and see what Michelle wants to do.

While we were at the hardware store getting paint, I found an oven that will work nicely. They are going to deliver it Tuesday afternoon. That was easy! I will call the HVAC people and the window repair place Monday and get those things taken care of.

Michelle is spending the afternoon putting the kitchen together. I brought Ellexia back to the country house with me. It was too crowded in town today for me. I came home a bit cranky and decided I needed to put myself into time out.

We still aren’t sure when Michelle will be moving. She is waiting on the mover to let her know when he can work her in. She has purchased some new furniture and isn’t sure when the beds and couches can be delivered. Guess there is no rush but now that she has the house she is anxious to get moved in.

I am feeling much better today except for the cranky part. The body aches, raging headache and temperature are all gone. I still feel tired but this feels like a normal tired and not the bone tired I was feeling yesterday. I am having trouble sleeping in since I have gotten back from Ireland. Still have a bit of jet lag I suppose.

I will get started cleaning this house sometime this week. It needs a really good clean where I wash all the woodwork, etc. Maybe with the kiddos moving out it will stay cleaner longer. It will be good to reset this house this week and next with the kids moving out. Kathy will finish her housesitting job this coming Saturday and she will be back. We will have to find a new normal with just the two of us in the house.

Michelle is to close on the sell of her house tomorrow. It will be good for her to have that behind her. She can make a new beginning in the new house and find a new routine and structure for herself and the kiddos. It has been a long almost four months since she moved in with me for her. I’m glad she has a new place to start over fresh.

Tomorrow Kathy is helping me take the two dogs and cat to the vet for their annual shots. Sophia can sometimes be stubborn about getting into the car. She will jump right in after we come out of the vet’s office. Hoping the two of us can handle the three animals.

Tuesday I have a mammogram and a bone density test in the morning. It will be good to get those done and over with for the year. I will get started painting in the morning tomorrow and finish up if needed Tuesday afternoon.

I don’t have anything else on my calendar for the rest of the week. I will have plenty of time to clean house here. It needs it badly. I love having a completely clean house but hate putting the effort into making it clean. I have procrastinated on it long enough and it has to be done this week.

My dryer is still causing the breaker to flip. I will need to call an appliance repairman. I am thinking the thermostat on the dryer may be the problem. Anyone know of an appliance repairman? The dryer is less than a year old so will need to check on the warranty to see what I need to do. I hate dealing with things like this. Dang it anyways.

It was about this time last year that Jim and I began our breakup. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago and other times it feels like it happened yesterday. Life sure can turn quickly and take you on a different path. I’m pleased with how far I have come in a years time and am ever so grateful for those that have supported me through this.

Grateful Michelle got a house, grateful I like to paint, and grateful I can stay home the rest of the day in time-out.

I took Ellexia and her friend and Tagen’s girlfriend to the football game in Manhattan last night. Manhattan is hard to get to due to road construction but we made it, although we didn’t get to see the opening kickoff. Tagen got to play last night, although briefly, so I was glad I had gone to the game.

Afterwards Tagen rode home with us. We stopped for a quick meal before we headed for home. We didn’t get home until almost midnight so it was a late night.

The Emporia High football team is not having a good season. They haven’t won a game yet and have rarely even scored. I feel bad for the team and coaches. It is painful to watch them play. They got beat last night 51 – 7. At least they scored last night.

The kiddos slept in this morning. When they got up I fixed them pancakes and eggs. I hadn’t done that for them for a while. They enjoyed them.

I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a truck. My arm where I got the fall Covid vaccine is sore. I had a bit of a temperature this morning and was aching all over as well as having a raging headache. I finally took some Tylenol and then took a short nap in my chair and feel better this afternoon. I’m sure by tomorrow I will feel much better. The effect on my body from the vaccine usually lasts for about 24 hours. So grateful I didn’t get more than one vaccine yesterday.

Still haven’t gotten the keys to Michelle’s new house. The old tenant has until midnight tonight to be out and it is looking like we won’t get the keys until tomorrow. The kiddos are anxious to see the place and Michelle is anxious to start moving. I was only in the house once and don’t remember much about it. I hope it will be a good one for Michelle and the kiddos to nest in.

I haven’t attempted to do anything today except fix breakfast. I didn’t have the energy or strength to do anything. I do feel better this afternoon so maybe I can get started cleaning yet today. I need to go down and do the chicken chores. I had thought I would try to get the chicken coop cleaned out today but that isn’t going to happen. No use pushing myself when I felt so bad. I don’t have much on my calendar for next week and I can get it all done then.

I have managed to stick to my eating plan for three days in a row. I am trying intermittent fasting this time. I eat my three meals within a six – eight hour window and then fast for the rest of the time. So far I am liking it.

Seriously considering doing the walking tour in the Himalayas next fall. It would give me a goal and a reason to start getting into shape. The tour has one very challenging day where you walk in the mountains over rough terrain. The other days they consider moderate and then one easy day. I would enjoy a group tour like that much more then the one I just did. The only problem is I am a slow but steady walker and when you walk with a group you have to keep up to the group pace. I will continue to sit with the idea and see if I can get myself started on a fitness program and then go from there. I have to decide by March which gives me plenty of time to see if I can get myself into shape.

My dryer blew the circuit breaker again today. Now I need to decide it I need to call an appliance guy or an electrician. I don’t know an appliance guy. The dryer is less than a year old. I’ll have to see if it is under warranty.

It has reached over 90 again on the prairie. Sure doesn’t feel like fall with it so warm out. Hopefully after Tuesday the temperatures are to fall and only be in the mid 70’s for the high. I am ready for fall weather but not ready for winter.

Tomorrow we should be able to get the keys to the new house so will spend the day there helping Michelle clean it if necessary. If I don’t need to clean there, maybe I can start cleaning here. I’m excited for the kids that they will get to move home again but I am sad that they will be leaving. I will miss fixing dinner for them most evenings.

I will need to go through my pantry and pack up all the kid friendly stuff I have in there so the kiddos can take it home with them and get it eaten. Most of it is stuff I won’t eat and there is no use keeping it around to go bad. My pantry will be almost empty again when I get that task done.

Grateful I could take a day for rest and recovery today, grateful for a safe trip home from the football game last night, and grateful to be feeling better this afternoon.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. I finally got up at 6:00. I’m glad I did as I had forgotten this is Tagen’s early day to school and I needed to get up and pack his lunch. He left around 6:30.

I drove to Topeka today and got my Fall Covid booster shot. Emporia doesn’t have them yet and something was telling me to get it and not wait. The pharmacist tried to talk me into getting three other shots today too. I told him I only do one at a time. There is a new RSV vaccine for seniors out, plus the flu shot and the shingles vaccine. I had the old shingles vaccine but haven’t taken he new one yet. I’m still on the fence for that one. I’ll have to put getting the rest of them on my calendar. I will space them out at least two weeks apart. I don’t think it is good for my body to get more than one at a time.

Traffic was congested in places due to road construction. Wonder if the federal government shuts down if it will delay the road construction work.

Tonight I am driving to Manhattan to go watch Tagen’s football game. He hasn’t gotten to play yet this season but hoping tonight will be the night he gets to play. His girlfriend is riding with me and maybe Ellexia and a friend. It will be a late night as the easy way to Manhattan is closed due to road construction.

I went to Cottonwood Falls to deliver six dozen eggs and to take the title of Tagen’s pickup to the repair guy. We are hoping the pickup will get picked up soon and sold for scrap. I got the tag so Michelle can get a partial refund of the registration fee.

I have lots and lots of eggs if anyone needs some. The girls are laying between 20 – 22 eggs a day right now and the eggs are piling up. Holler if you want/need some.

No cleaning done yet today. Maybe tomorrow? The longer I put it off the dirtier it gets. I am about to jump over the cliff. When the house reaches a certain point I can’t take it anymore. I’ll get to it very soon.

Next Monday I take the two dogs and cat to the vet for their annual shots. Tuesday I have my annual mammogram and a bone density test. I don’t have anything else on my calendar for next week so will have plenty of time to clean.

I may take a short nap before I go to the football game tonight. I am finally feeling like I am home all the way but am still a bit tired. Part of it is from the detoxing that I am doing to get all the sugar and flour out of my system. I still have a bit of jet lag but not too bad today.

One of the people that was on tour with me last week sent me a link to a tour that is an eleven day walking tour in the Himalayas. Oh my that sounds tempting. It would give me an incentive to get out and start walking. Anyone interested in going with me?

It hit the 90’s again today on the prairie. The forecast is showing another couple days of this heat and then a cool down is headed our way. Doesn’t feel much like fall yet. I’m ready for sweatshirt weather.

Hoping to hear soon when Michelle can get into the rental property so her move can begin. She will get the house Sunday if not before. It will be good to get into it and see what needs to be done, if anything. The kiddos are getting anxious to get moved in to their own house again.

It sure will be different around here without Michelle and the kiddos here. Kathy and I will have to find a new rhythm for us. It sure will be quieter. I hope to pick back up my death doula material and get that off and running again. I had to set it aside when Jim left as I didn’t have the brain power to do it. Just as I was about to pick it back up again, Michelle moved in and I knew that wasn’t a good time either. Maybe now I can get back to it.

Last night I watched the full harvest moon rise. Unfortunately it came up as the sun was setting so didn’t get to see the full effect of it. I’ll try to catch it again tonight. This morning the moon was setting as the sun was rising. Reminded me of the lesson of balance that can bee found in Mother Nature.

Grateful the Covid vaccine is in my arm, grateful for my chickens and all the eggs they are giving me right now, and grateful for the beauty of the full moon on the prairie last night.

Re-entry into the real world is hard! It has been one of those days where things have not been easy for me. Hoping this will be the last of the jet lag and things will start going easier tomorrow.

I went to Emporia mid-morning. I needed to go to the Vet and get flea and Tic medication for the two dogs and cat. I made appointments to take all three in for their annual check next Monday. Kathy has agreed to go with me and help me handle all three of them in one trip. Wish us luck!

I then went to Walmart to pick up a prescription and a few groceries I forgot to put on my on-line order. I then went around and picked up the stuff I had ordered. Came home after all that and unloaded the car and put things away.

I did manage to get my suitcase unloaded and put away today as well as transfer my stuff back into my regular purse. I had gotten a big travel bag to take with me and a wallet I could use while there. The big purse is too big for everyday use but was handy for traveling purposes. Grateful I am back to my tiny purse.

I still haven’t gotten any cleaning done. It seems to wait for me. I’m still tired today and am running on low energy. The cleaning will patiently wait for me until I can get to it.

I am making spaghetti and meat balls for dinner tonight. It is one of the kiddos favorite meals so I know they will eat well tonight.

I got back on the wagon and am back on my eating plan. I have fallen off the wagon the last couple of months and it is past time to get back on track. I gained weight as a result of the side effects of taking the antibodies when I had Covid for the second time. It depressed me and I gave up on my eating plan and gained even more weight. Time to get it off. I ate on plan yesterday and so far today have stayed clean. I ate way too much food that had flour and grains in it while on my trip. My gut is swollen and complaining. I have to go through a detox process to get it all out of my system. It will take a week or two and I will have headaches, low energy and will be extra cranky. I know I will feel much better on the other side of it but the process is not easy.

I was trying to get a jar of marinara sauce open and was struggling. I finally got it after I said out loud a few cuss words. Then I went to the office to type up a contract and said a few more. Kathy cautiously came upstairs to check on me. It has been one of those days where things have not been easy for me. Good thing those don’t happen a lot.

Still don’t know if we will be helping Michelle move this weekend or not. Not sure when the house will be available. Hoping we can at least spend Sunday cleaning it if needed. Michelle has ordered some furniture that will be delivered next week. The big move will probably happen next weekend.

It will be an adjustment for me to not have the kiddos around. I will miss them. I have treasured this time I have gotten with them. I know they are all looking forward to being in their house where they belong.

I’ve had a rare day of having the house mainly to myself today. Kathy is housesitting for a friend and only comes here for an hour or so when she gets off work. It is weird having the whole house to myself. I am going to have to give some thought of what I will be doing with myself once Michelle and the kiddos move back out again.

Tomorrow I am going to Topeka to get the new Covid vaccine. Tagen has a football game in Manhattan tomorrow night that I will probably go to. Saturday I want to go into Cottonwood Falls for the big Courthouse celebration weekend. Sunday we will probably be cleaning at Michelle’s new house. It will be a busy couple of days.

I’ve been home for almost 48 hours now and no Covid symptoms so thinking I am good to go. When I got it after coming home from Vegas I was sick within 48 hours of getting home. Grateful I dodged that bullet as one couple on the trip came down with Covid the day after I had sat by them on the bus.

September flew by with me being out of the country for most of it. Can’t believe it is October Sunday which means the holidays aren’t too far off. I love Thanksgiving but could easily skip Christmas.

I got the insurance money for the deposit for the windows and doors that are being replaced. I need to call the window company and find out if I am on their schedule yet and if so, when. Sure hoping to get the windows in and then the Efis repaired before winter weather hits the prairie. We shall see if I can make that happen or not.

I don’t have much on my calendar for October. I have a small project I want to work on so should have lots of time for that. It will be good to have some empty space ahead. I will have to adjust to a new normal with the kiddos moving out.

Still unpacking the trip in my mind and working to learn the lessons it taught me. Getting out of my comfort zone and experiencing new things it good for me. I don’t always appreciate the lesson in the moment but if I stop and evaluate things, there is always something helpful to me to learn and grow from.

Grateful the pantry is restocked, grateful I am back on my eating plan, and grateful for some empty space today.

I got home a little before midnight last night. It was a very pleasant drive home from KC under the light of an almost full moon. It did my soul good to get to the prairie and see wide open spaces.

Nicole and Geoff picked me up at the airport. They found me without much wait or issue. My suitcase was waiting for me when I got to the claim baggage area. Can’t be easier than that.

I ended up walking over 10,000 steps yesterday – most of them in airports. My gate got changed three times in New York City and it was an almost a one mile walk between gates. Good thing I had lots of time to walk back and forth and back again.

I slept long and hard last night although I was up at 7:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep. My body still thinks it is on Dublin time and it was 1:00 pm there.

I packed the kiddos their lunches and got them off to school. I have done a couple loads of laundry and partially unpacked my suitcase. I took a load of recycling to Cottonwood Falls and stopped and got some milk. Haven’t managed to do much else yet.

The dryer was tripping the circuit breaker so called Phil and he came out to see what the problem was. He cleaned out the vent shaft and then discovered the circuit breaker was loose. He tightened that up and we are hoping that was the problem. So very grateful for Phil and his vast knowledge and fix-it skills.

The insurance adjuster is sending me part of the window money within a day or two. He had gotten hold of the Pella guy and they went over the bid. Turns out the Pella guy had made an error and the insurance adjuster actually increased the amount he is paying. He processed the paperwork today and I should get it soon.

I went through the mail and dealt with a few things that needed taken care of. The pile wasn’t too bad considering I had been gone for almost three weeks.

I need to do some housecleaning this afternoon or tomorrow. The floors need done but they might wait until after I take a nap this afternoon. I’m really sleepy this afternoon.

It was good to see the family this morning. The kiddos actually seemed to have missed me. Thinking they missed the food I fixed more than me but it is sweet to think they missed me too.

I need to make a grocery order to pick up tomorrow. I have a prescription that I need to pick up so will venture to Emporia tomorrow and get both of those things taken care of.

I don’t feel like I have gotten all the way home yet. I’m operating on limited brain cells today. Hard to keep my focus and remember what I go to do. I get distracted very easily.

I’m fixing chicken strips with macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight. Tagen was excited to get his favorite meal for dinner tonight.

I still need to take care of Tagen’s pickup but that might wait till tomorrow. I did manage to talk to the title company about what I need to do to sell one of the rental properties to Michelle. Need to decide which way I want to handle it and get that taken care of tomorrow. Just don’t have the brain cells to handle that today.

It feels so good to be home again. I’m still unpacking the learnings and lessons of the trip. I’m struggling with orientating myself to the proper date and time. I woke up in the middle of the night and didn’t know where I was. I’ll offer myself some grace for the rest of this week and slowly will get all of me home.

Grateful for a safe journey home, grateful to see the family again, and grateful for a slow ease into returning to life on the prairie.