Another hot spring day in KS. Summer is making an early appearance. Not a fan of hot weather. Way too early to turn the air on but I was tempted today. It is to rain this week and things will cool down a bit.

I mowed some last night and then finished most of it up today. I came in dripping sweat and had to take a shower to cool down. I go from freezing to over heating very easily these days. Hard to find my comfort range. It was hard mowing again today as it is so dry that the grass still hasn’t come in all over and it is hard to tell where I have mowed and where I need to go. Rain, rain please come and pull up a chair and stay awhile. We could use three to four inches.

Felt good to get outside today and mow. The yard is so bumpy though. There was a couple of times I thought I was going to fly off the mower I bounced so high off the seat. My shoulder is a bit sore tonight from holding on so tight so that didn’t happen.

I told Kathy today that if we don’t get rain this time around we are going to have to have a drum circle and drum for rain. I hosted one a couple years ago that worked. We are getting to a dangerous situation if we don’t get rain soon.

I am working on a grocery order on-line. I am trusting that my new thyroid medication will be in tomorrow and I will have to go to town to pick it up. Since I am going to town I figured I would place a grocery order. I don’t need much this time but I like to make the trips to town count if possible.

Nothing on my calendar for this week. I do want to get to Wichita or KC to go to Costco one day this week but we shall see if that happens. It has been nice staying home today. I needed some empty space and quiet time to refill myself again.

I watched the movie on Netflix today called A Man Called Otto today that starred Tom Hanks. Highly recommend if you haven’t seen it. It reminded me how important it is to reach out to your neighbors and not to give up on people. Kindness to others goes a long way.

Just got my Grandfather clock running again. I had forgotten to wind it and it stopped. I happen to notice the time and it was close to the time the clock had stopped. It is time consuming to reset it if you don’t catch it close to the time it is when it stops. I’m going to have to put a reminder on my calendar to wind it weekly.

In four months I leave for England and my three-week adventure to England, Scotland and Ireland. It still feels a long ways away but I bet the time between now and then will go by quickly and it will be here before I know it. I need to do some research on the cities where I will be staying and make a list of the things I want to do in each city. I will have lots of free time to do whatever and it would help if I know what I want to see. Sometimes you can book day tours ahead of time and they can get you where you want to go.

I need to talk to Ellexia and see if she wants to go on an adventure with me this summer. I took Tagen when he turned 10 on a trip to New York and CT and promised Ellexia one too when she turned 10. We still haven’t done it due to Covid. She got to see the ocean earlier this year with her parents. She does want to fly wherever we go as she has never flown before. Disney has gotten so crowded and expensive I’m not sure I want to take her there. I’ll have to put my thinking cap on and think of a kid friendly place to take her to.

I watched a documentary today about death and dying and it reminded me how important the work I could be doing with end of life care planning is. As a society I don’t think we talk enough about death and don’t do a good job of handling it when it happens. It is the one thing we all have in common – we are all going to die one day. Denying that reality doesn’t change things and makes it harder for our loved ones when it does happen if we haven’t shared our desires for how we want that time to look like for ourselves.

Grateful the yard is mowed, grateful we have chances for rain over the next couple of days and grateful for a stay at home day.

I went to Emporia and took my grandson out to lunch. He has grown up and it was a pleasure spending time with him. He even put his phone away while we were at lunch so we could talk undisturbed. How sweet is that?

I stopped and got a bag of ice and then came home. I didn’t have any other errands to do while I was in town.

It is in the mid 90’s today. It is windy and hot outside. I even took my sweater off when I went to town. The restaurant was cold for me though. This heat might help pull in a thunderstorm later. It it accomplishes that it will be worth the heat.

Still haven’t decided if I am going to Pioneer Bluffs for the barn dance this evening. Kathy went with some friends to a sing-a-long and then they were going to the barn dance. It my be too peoply for me to go tonight. We shall see.

I need to go out and mow but it is so windy and hot I hate the thought of it. I might wait and do it tomorrow. Unfortunately it is to be hot and windy again tomorrow. Maybe I will just go out and get part of it done today and then finish it up tomorrow.

Feeling a bit unsettled today and not sure what it is about. I have a empty week ahead of me that feels overwhelming in a funny way. Not sure how I want to fill my days these days. I am struggling to find balance between too much on my calendar and nothing.

I know there is a purpose in all of this but haven’t figured out what it is yet. I guess I am back in that in-between time. It always feels a bit awkward to me when I find myself there. I will eventually settle in to in and open myself to the lessons it has for me.

Grateful for my grandson and being able to spend some one-on-one time with him, grateful for life lessons, and grateful I trust what is ahead for me.

We got a few sprinkles this morning but not enough to amount to much. Dang it anyways. Mid week next week we have another chance for more rain. May have to call a circle gathering and drum the rain to us.

I made the grandkids Chex Mix this afternoon. Ellexia loves that stuff. I anticipated they might ask for it again and had the stuff on hand to make it. I froze half of what I made so I can fulfill the next request they make for it. It is easy to make but has gotten expensive lately.

I took the Chex Mix to them this afternoon. I got to see both kiddos. Tagen had just gotten his haircut. It had gotten really long. I like it better short and was glad to see he cut most of it off.

I met a new friend (male) in town. We did a little over half of the Art Walk downtown and then went to dinner together. It was a very pleasant evening. The weather was perfect – not too hot or too cold. We had dinner at Union Social and as expected was outstanding. I swear I don’t know how Amanda pulls it off so perfectly each and every time. The food was great, the service was great and the place was clean. You can’t ask for anything more.

It was nice having company for dinner. We may go out again but it won’t ever be more than just two friends having dinner. We didn’t run out of things to talk about although we don’t have a lot in common.

Tagen wants me to take him out for lunch tomorrow so he is going to call me when he is ready and I will go to town and meet him for lunch. That will be fun. I enjoy eating out with the grandkids.

It was a pleasant evening out. Not sure I am ready for the whole dating scene yet and certainly not ready for a serious relationship. It was fun to have company for dinner and get to know another human. I have been rather isolated for the last six months and it is nice to get back out not the world. I came home tired though and am grateful I have a quiet week ahead.

Tomorrow night is a barn dance at Pioneer Bluffs. Kathy and I have talked about going but not sure what we will do. Going out always sounds fun until it is time to go and then I talk myself out of it. I will see how I am feeling tomorrow night and then decide if I want to go. I know I would have a good time if I went but I also know I don’t want to get so drained it takes me days to refill.

I had a discussion with the guy I was with tonight about end of life care planning. It made me realize again how important that work is and how much I could help others if I get back into doing it. I really need to review my class information and find the motivation to pick that up again. So many people need to get their plans made and don’t know where to start in doing so. I can help them and would enjoy doing so.

Maybe that was the purpose of this “date” tonight. Sometimes the universe works in weird ways to get my attention and that could well have been the reason this “date” came to being. Thanks universe, I needed that reminder.

Grateful to get to see both grandkids today, grateful for the nice evening out, and grateful to have been reminded about my end of life care planning knowledge.

This day had an unexpected turn of events. My alarm went off at 6:30 so I could get up and get to town by 8:00. As I was turning the alarm off on my phone I noticed I had a text. It was from the girl that was to have cleaned my teeth. She was sick today and had to cancel the appointment.

I stayed in bed for a bit but was unable to go back to sleep. I had one of those nights that I was up for a few minutes or longer every hour. Just couldn’t find good sleep again last night.

It felt like the Universe gave me a day off today so I took full advantage and did nothing all day. I even fell asleep in my corner recliner this afternoon. Got better sleep in the hour I napped than I did all night last night.

It sprinkled for about five minutes today but that was all the rain we got. We have a slight chance for some more rain overnight but it doesn’t look too promising. Dang, we need rain badly. The ground crunches when I walk over it to go to my mail box.

Tomorrow Cody has a field day at his school. I am not sure I will go in. Part of it will depend on the weather. It is to be in the low to mid 60’s which isn’t horrible but if it is windy it will be too cold for me.

My Endocrinologist office called today and they decided to increase my thyroid medication after all. They got the report from the Cardiologist and decided to make a change. The pharmacy had to order the new higher dose of Tirosint and will let me know when they get it in. They usually get it the next day so may have to go to town tomorrow and pick that up. I am to have my TSH levels checked in 4 – 6 weeks after I start the new dosage. I hope the higher level of Tirosint helps bring down my TSH. I am tired of being cold most of the time. I have very little energy or motivation to do anything and feel like a lump on a log. And this too shall pass…..

My Uncle Jack turns 90 this month. Kathy got him a silly card and asked me if I wanted to sign it too. I told Uncle Jack now that he is 90 he can consider himself an old man! He is a jokester and will laugh at that. He is the last of my Uncles. Mom still has two sister that are alive and doing well.

My brain feels like it is in slow motion today. Having trouble holding on to a thought. Not a good day to make any decisions or do anything that needs concentration of any sort. Guess I will continue letting it be a do nothing day and trust that tomorrow will be an easier day for me.

Grateful for my Uncle Jack, grateful for an unexpected day at home, and grateful I have the luxury of doing nothing today.

Happy birthday dad. He would have been 97 today. I think of him daily and feel him beside me many times, especially when I have gotten myself into a mess. He had more common sense than anyone I have ever known. When I ask for his help to get me out of a mess, he always seems to find a way to get a message to me about how to fix something.

I went to the Cardiologist in Topeka this morning. I had to drive through six construction zones in the 61 miles to his office. Made the trip seem longer than it was.

The Cardiologist didn’t do anything other than tell me I only need to get concerned if my heart rate doesn’t raise after movement. If it stays below 50 when I am up and moving then I am to go see him again. He didn’t seem to think dropping below 40 at night was a problem, nor was the skipping of a beat occasionally.

He was so cute. His wife delivered twin boys last week. They were early so they are in NICU for a couple of weeks. He told me he was terrified at the thought of bringing them home. He is going to take paternity leave for six to eight weeks to help care for them once they get home. They named them Henri and Ethan. I think he was floating on air the whole time I talked to him.

I stopped at Chipotle and had lunch and then came home. It was a short trip up and back and I was only gone a little over three and one half hours. The doctor’s office was running on time and I got called back a bit early and it only took 10 minutes with the doctor.

I didn’t sleep well again last night. I may take a nap again today although I would rather stay up and go to bed early. I have to be in Emporia at 8:00 in the morning so will have to get up at 6:30. I may be in bed by 8:00 tonight if I don’t take a nap. I live an exciting life these days.

What a beautiful day on the prairie. It is in the mid 70’s and no wind on the prairie today. I might go out and paint for a bit when I finish blogging. Rain is in the forecast for the next few days so this might be my only chance for this week. I want to get some of the floor of the deck painted to see how that paint is going to hold up and to give me an idea of how much paint I am going to need.

I am looking forward to Friday and having a stay at home day. I don’t have plans for the weekend unless I decide to go to the barn dance at Pioneer Bluffs Saturday night. The grandkids mentioned something about coming out this weekend but we will see if they do. Next week I don’t have anything on my calendar yet either. I need some empty space days.

Got yet another bill from my divorce attorney. I am hoping this is the last one. I texted my plumber to ask if the kitchen faucet has come in but I haven’t heard back. I called the guttering guy and they are to call me back. Sure wish I could wrap up all three of these things and cross them off my pending list.

Not feeling very motivated to do anything again today. Not sure if it because of my high TSH levels or if something else is going on. I will push myself to get some painting done and see if that helps get me out of this rut I seem to be in. Sometimes I need to sit and let things be and sometimes I need to push through. Sometimes I can’t tell which I should do.

I do need to clean out the chicken coop sometime next week. They have been out there for a month almost. They are about 3/4 the size of a grown chicken now. Two more months and I will start getting eggs. It is hard to wait for the reward of the work of raising chicks.

Feeling a bit lost and rocky this afternoon. Thinking I am just tired and need a good night’s sleep. I feel a bit like a boat floating on the sea without a map to guide me. And this too shall pass.

Grateful for a clean bill of health from the Cardiologist, grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, and grateful for some empty space days ahead.

This has been a lazy day for me. Felt tired and non motivated all day. I even took a short nap this afternoon. Not sure why I was so tired today but just couldn’t muster much energy today.

I did go to town early evening. I needed to fill the car with gas so I am ready to go to Topeka tomorrow. I stopped and got a few things from the grocery store, ate dinner at Bruff’s and then went to Cody’s first grade music program at William White School.

The program was very short and only lasted about 20 minutes. Cody was trilled to see me there so I’m glad I went. He had quite a cheering section as about 10 of us were there to watch him perform. He had the wiggles tonight and had trouble standing still.

It was good to see some of Melissa’s family at the program. I am finally sorting out who is who and they feel like family to me now.

The road construction to Emporia is a pain. I had to wait about five minutes before I could turn on to Highway 50 from V Rd as there was a long long of cars that had gotten backed up due to the construction. Luckily I only had to wait about five minutes before I could proceed through the one-line part of the highway. It adds about 20 minutes to the time it takes me to get to town and get home.

Tomorrow I have to be at the Cardiologist office at 10:15 for my 10:30 appointment. I think I am wasting my time going but will go and see what he has to say. He had told me to come back if anything changed and it did but he rarely takes anything too seriously. I will have a nice lunch afterwards at Chipotle so it will be worth the trip to Topeka.

It was another beautiful spring day on the prairie. It only warmed up to the low 60’s though so a touch cool for me. The wind was still present but not quite as strong as yesterday. The clouds were bright blue and no clouds to be seen. There is a bit of a haze on the horizon so the sunset will be orange tonight.

I realized when I sat down to blog that I haven’t even gathered up the trash and taken it down to the curb yet today. I usually do that early afternoon. I am off my game today for some reason. I still need to go down and lock up the chickens for the night too. Hope I remember to do both of those things when I get done writing.

I untangled a hose today and watered some of the plants that I planted last week. They were looking a little sad. I need to carry some water down to the tomato and zucchini plants and give them a big drink too. We are not getting our spring rains so far this year. We have a 70% chance for rain Thursday and Friday this week so hoping we will get some then. I wouldn’t bet on it though. At least the low for the next ten days isn’t to be below 57 so more spring like weather is headed our way. It is almost warm enough at night that I won’t have to close the chicken coop door at night.

Next week I don’t have anything on my calendar so far. It will be good to have a quiet week at home. Last week and this week seemed to have filled in and I haven’t had many quiet days at home. It has been to get out but I think I have overbooked myself after staying home for so long. I will finally get to Costco next week and get that taken care of. Maybe I can find a friend to ride along with me and make it a fun day out.

Sitting in a good head space tonight even though I am feeling a bit drained. I can tell I need several days at home to get fully refilled again. Overall though I am pleased with how well I did with my busy schedule last week and this week. I have managed to stay level emotionally and not fall into the muck pond.

Grateful for Cody and the joy he brings his family, grateful for a short nap today, and grateful for this beautiful spring day.

I went to Emporia High at 1:00 to watch Ellexia play in another tennis tournament. Today she won one out of three sets. She had quite the support system there today as her parents, brother and his girlfriend, Papa and Nancy and myself were there. It was fun watching her compete. It was a good day to sit out and watch her play. I had to keep my heavy coat on most of the time though as the wind made it feel cooler than it was.

Craig and Nancy took the kids and myself out to dinner when the tennis tournament was over. We went to Panda Express. It was nice to get to spend some time with all of them.

Ellexia told me one of the three players she played against today cheated. She wasn’t sure how to handle it and finally decided to not let him get to her and that it really didn’t matter who won. That situation sure puts the kids in a hard place. Do you make a deal out of it or not and if you do make a deal out of it who do you take it to? Tennis can help these kids learn lots of life lessons.

I saw a dear friend of mine at the tournament. He told me his wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and is struggling with her short term memory. My heart breaks for him and for her and the journey they have in front of them. What a cruel disease Alzheimer’s is. It is so painful to watch them go through this and know it is going to get worse for them.

I came home really tired. Sitting out in the sunshine and wind wore me out. I had trouble falling asleep last night and didn’t get as much sleep as I would have liked. It may be a very early bedtime for me tonight.

I’m hoping the wind will calm down tomorrow so I can get out and paint for a bit. It has been too windy the last couple of days to paint. We shall see what happens. I don’t have anything on my calendar tomorrow except a music program at a grade school that my grandson is singing in. Not sure I will make it in for that. I hated those things when my kids were in them and made myself go to them back then. Not sure I can make myself go to more of them.

I will need to run to town tomorrow to deposit a rent check. Not sure I have anything else to do in town and hate to go to town just for one thing. Maybe I can think of something else to do while I am in town.

Wednesday I have to go to Topeka to my cardiologist appointment in the morning. I will probably go to Chipotle for lunch afterwards as that is my favorite place to eat. I can’t think of anything I need from a big city so don’t have any other errands to do while I am in Topeka.

Thursday I am getting my teeth cleaned at the Vo-Tech at 8:00 in the morning. That is way too early for me these days. Not sure why I agreed to that early time. I don’t get up and moving that early most days.

I still need to get to Costco in either KC or Wichita one of these days soon. Not sure when I will work that in to my schedule. I need some stay at home days and don’t like to over book myself. I will get there sooner or later.

I let the chicks out this morning before I went to town to watch the tennis tournament. I’ll go down closer to dusk and lock them up. Not sure if they went out in the wind today or not.

My neighbor let me know I have gravel coming for the driveway later this week. I appreciate him arranging the delivery of it. I have a spot on the driveway that has really washed out since last time we got gravel a year or two ago. It will be good to get that little project taken care of.

I need to call the guttering guy and the plumber tomorrow and follow up with each of them on those two pending jobs. I hate being a nag but I can’t get them out here unless I nag. I want both of those things crossed off my pending list.

Still sitting in a good head’s space. I didn’t get drained today at the tennis tournament. I am tired but that feels physical and not emotionally tired. My high thyroid levels have been making me feel more fatigue than usual. I will be grateful when they settle back down and I feel more like myself again. It feels it has been awhile since that has happened.

The pace of my life seems to have picked up and I am not staying home so much. Not sure if that is a good thing or not. It does feel good to be getting out more but I miss staying home more. Balance is my key word for the year and finding the balance between staying home and getting out can be a challenge. I guess as long as I am staying “full” when I am out and about I am doing OK. If I start coming home feeling drained often I will know that I am out and away too much.

Grateful to have spent time with family today, grateful the blue skies and beautiful weather today, and grateful I can stay home most of tomorrow.

What a wonderful evening. Four friends joined Kathy and I for a steak dinner at our house. I fixed grilled zucchini, baked white and sweet potatoes, an apple salad, rolls and grilled steak. We had the best time visiting and relaxing together. I need to remember to invite friends over more often. It is so fun!

Both guests were gone by the time I got up this morning. I stripped the two beds and washed the sheets and towels. I haven’t gotten downstairs yet to put the beds back together but will take care of that tomorrow. No rush as I don’t have more guests coming until June 1.

Didn’t do much today other than the guest laundry and fix dinner. Steak dinner is about as easy as it gets. I should have cleaned house a bit but didn’t. Hope the guests didn’t notice the dust too much. They all lived in the country too so have made peace living with dust like I have.

Tomorrow I have to be in town at 1:00 to watch my granddaughter play in a tennis tournament. At least this one is in Emporia and I won’t have to drive far to see her. I hope it isn’t as windy tomorrow as it was today. We had a 47.2 MPH wind gust today. Yikes! It was colder than I expected it to be today. I’m not sure the temperature reached much over 60 today. Come back spring!

I didn’t let the chicks out today. It was cold and too windy for them. They have been a bit shy about going outside and don’t seem to like the wind. Hopefully tomorrow it will be calmer and they can get outside to play.

I almost fell asleep in my chair today. Not sure why I am so tired today. I had trouble falling asleep last night but finally got several hours of good sleep. I probably should have given in and taken a nap but I really don’t want to start that habit again. I’ll give up and go to bed early tonight and maybe tonight I will be able to fall asleep quickly.

I’m in a good head space tonight. This is the first time in a long time I have had guests for dinner. I so enjoyed having a house full of guests for a meal. Cooking for six is easy for me and doesn’t feel like work. The conversation was light and fun during and after dinner. I was surprised how fast three hours went by. Cleanup was even easy afterwards. Maybe I will remember to invite them back again soon.

Grateful for friends in the neighborhood, grateful for dishwashers that make cleanup easy, and grateful dinner was a success.

Jason came out this morning to pick up some hamburger. We had a nice long visit. I love when my kids come out and I get a chance for some one-on-one time with them. He took home some Ritz cracker treats too.

After he left I went to Emporia and dropped off the other pan of Ritz Cracker treats at Michelle’s house. I invited them out to lunch but no one took me up on my offer. Both Tagen and Ellexia were busy. Tagen let me know he would for sure eat the treats though. I had to laugh!

I stopped and had lunch and then went to the grocery store. I decided to invite some friends over for dinner tomorrow night and needed to pick up a few things. I came home after that.

Went out and mowed this afternoon. At first it was nice mowing but as the afternoon progressed the wind got in a bigger hurry. I almost got done but had to quit. I was worn out from the wind. We had a 30.9 MPH wind gust this late afternoon. I couldn’t keep my hat on my head.

I stopped when I was almost half way done mowing and planted the flowers I had gotten Thursday. I got one zucchini plant and two tomato plants I planted too. We shall see if they grow and produce. I do not have a green thumb. I had to go to the hardware store in Strong City to get a trowel to plant with. Mine disappeared. I think Jim must have taken it when he left. Oh well, I have a new one now. It was good to get the flowers in the ground. I will need to put on my calendar a reminder to water them a couple days a week.

I had let the chickens outside late morning. I stopped mowing when I was down by the coop to lock them in for the night and one girl came out. I chased her around the coop a couple of times and gave up. I went back down later and was able to get them all locked inside. They are starting to like coming out but the sound of the mower scared them and they went back in.

I am dusty and dirty this evening. I blew my nose and it was black snot from all the dust. My eyes are burning and are itchy. I may need to take a shower tonight before I take my bath or the bath water will be too dirty to enjoy soaking in.

Tomorrow I will need to clean house a bit and make a few things for dinner. I am grilling steaks and zucchini and will bake some potatoes and call it good. I may make a dessert if I can think of one to make. It will be fun to have some friends over for dinner. I love when that happens but forget to invite people over.

One guest has shown up for the night and the other one was going to enjoy the block party downtown tonight and then come out. They will both leave tomorrow so I will have two bedrooms and a bathroom to clean sometime. No guests coming for a bit so no rush to get the rooms cleaned.

I am tired tonight from being outside all afternoon. It felt good to get outside for a bit. The yard is very bumpy this year and I feel a bit bruised and sore from bouncing on the mower. We are so dry and need a good hard, long rain. Parts of the yard still don’t have much grass and it was hard to tell where I mowed.

It felt good to have a productive day. I had sat in my corner chair way too much lately. I have struggled to find the motivation to move but am reminded today how much better I feel when I do.

Grateful the yard is mowed, grateful the flowers are planted, and grateful Tagen will eat all the treats for sure!

We are getting a bit of rain on the prairie this afternoon. Not much yet and not much in the forecast but at this point we will take every drop that will come our way.

I stayed home today. I have been out and about every day this week and I needed a stay home day. I don’t like driving in the rain so it was a good day to stay home and sit in front of the fire.

I made Tagen his Ritz Cracker Peanut Butter treats this morning. I’ll take then in to him tomorrow. Other than making the treats I did three loads of laundry. Other than that, I haven’t done anything today. It has been a rest and recovery type of day.

I sent a note to the Endocrinologist last night about the high TSH level. She told me the Paxlovid caused my levels to jump. Nothing they can do for it medication wise. The levels will eventually go down but it is hard to tell how long it will take. She told me to take good care and not climb ladders, etc. I am a high fall risk right now due to my blood pressure dropping low and my heart rate being low. Last night my blood pressure was 96/53 and my heart rate was 37. I am to drink lots of fluids to help flush out my system but other than that there isn’t much that can be done. My system is moving at turtle speed and is very slow. I need to slow down to match it.

I took a pity party day today and am allowing this information to soak in and let me get to a point where I can accept my new reality. Tomorrow I will pull on my big girl panties and deal with it. Trusting this is a temporary situation and my levels will drop sooner rather than later. I will have my levels checked again in six weeks and see where we are at.

I only had one guest last night and will only have one guest tonight. The other one got a new puppy and he played his round this morning and then went back home so he could have puppy time. What fun a new puppy is. I remember those days but not sure I want to go back to them. New puppies are a lot of work to train properly.

Kathy got a gate to put across the stairs so Louis has to stay downstairs. The gate wasn’t up two minutes before Louis figured out a way around it. Dang that cat anyways. Not sure what Plan B will be.

No plans for the weekend. I will have one guest until Sunday and maybe a second guest tomorrow night. We shall see what happens. After they both are gone Sunday I will have two bedrooms and a bathroom to clean. That won’t take long.

Next week I have a Cardiologist appointment in Topeka on Wednesday and get my teeth cleaned at the Vo-Tech on Thursday morning. I will go watch Ellexia play tennis Monday afternoon and on Tuesday evening Cody has a school program. I will probably go to either Wichita or KC to go to Costco one day next week. It will be another busy week for me.

Still feeling a bit discouraged with my high TSH levels. At least I know why it happened now and that it wasn’t something I could have prevented. I don’t like when my body doesn’t function well. Guess I must have needed yet another lesson on patience and accepting what is. I will get there! Sometimes it takes me a day or two to get there.

I had no idea when they removed my thyroid I would have this much trouble. I’m grateful they did as that is how they discovered the cancer and they got it out before the cancer spread. Your thyroid is a vital organ and without it life can get complicated. Grateful I am alive to deal with the complications. I’m sure they will all get sorted out sooner or later.

Grateful to know what caused the high TSH levels, grateful for the rain, and grateful for a stay at home day.

I went to town a little after noon today. My first stop was at the Register of Deeds office. I needed to file four Quit Claim Deeds. The lady that helped me was efficient and made it easy.

Next stop was to Bobby-D’s for lunch. It was fast, good and great service.

I then went to the Medical Clinic to have a blood draw. I didn’t feel the needle going in and I didn’t have to wait. Good job ladies!

I picked up four bags of chick feed from Bluestem. They loaded it on the cart and then put it in my car for me. That was easy!

I stopped at Walmart and picked up my grocery order. I had 300 pounds of feed in the back of my car as I purchased two big bags of dog food along with the four bags of chick feed. My car was full! It took a bit to carry it all in after I got home.

I got the results of my TSH test. My level was over 21! That is by far the highest it has ever been. Not sure what is going on as I haven’t skipped a dose and have taken it at least one hour before I eat breakfast. This explains why I am struggling to lose weight, slow heart rate, am cold all the time, and don’t have much energy. I wonder what the doctor will do about it. The T4 Free level was in the normal range but barely above the lowest end. It has never been this low before. Something has changed but not sure what is causing the change. I’m sure we will get it all sorted out sooner or later.

I’m wondering if my level is extremely high because I had Covid and took Paxlovid. When I had my level checked six weeks ago prior to me having Round Two with Covid my level was a bit over 3. I will call the doctor’s office in the morning if they don’t call me. Feeling a bit overwhelmed and frustrated with the results. I can’t think of anything I have done wrong in taking my medication that would have caused these results.

I am tired this afternoon. For some reason town wore me out today. I didn’t even have to manhandle the sacks of feed or go shopping for groceries. I came home a bit cranky and then found out my TSH level is completely out of range. Dang! Give this girl a break.

Traffic to Emporia is a pain right now. It took an extra 20 minutes to get to town but I hit it right coming home and it only took five extra minutes. There is also construction at 6th and Prairie and it took me a couple of lights to get through that intersection.

We only got light rain last night. Not sure we even got 0.10 total. The ground was barely wet this morning and the dust is still blowing. We have another chance for rain tomorrow afternoon. Fingers and toes crossed that we get several inches (sorry disc golf players).

I need to send a note to my kids. I am craving a family day. It has been a while since we have had one. With everyone besides me working and some work weekends, it is hard to find a time when we can all get together.

Tagen has requested some chocolate covered ritz crackers with peanut butter. I got his request in time to add the needed ingredients to my grocery list today. I will get those made up this evening or tomorrow and take them in to him.

Still haven’t decided about going to Costco tomorrow. I am tired and grumpy this afternoon and not wanting to leave the house. I have put myself in time-out for a bit. Maybe things will feel different tomorrow and I will go. We shall see. I don’t have anything that I am completely out of so I can put the trip off for a couple more days or even a week.

I have a guest coming in tonight. The other guy that has been here part of the week won’t be here tonight. They both should be staying Friday night and I’m not sure about Saturday night. It will depend on when their last round is on Saturday and how well they did.

Feeling a bit discouraged with the TSH levels. I had hoped the new medication regime would have leveled things out. Things will settle back down sooner or later. Maybe I needed another lesson on patience.

Grateful the chicks and dog’s food supply is stocked, grateful for on-line grocery ordering, and grateful the Quit Claim Deed process was quick and easy.

I had a beautiful drive over to Council Grove with a friend mid-day. We had a wonderful lunch at Hays House and then went to Grove Gardens. We loaded up the back of my car with flowering plants. I’m not sure what I bought but it will be fun to get them in the grown over the next couple of days.

It was a beautiful day for a drive through the Flint Hills. The pastures that were black from being burned a few weeks ago are covered with a blanket of green right now. The ponds are low though as we need rain badly.

We have a good chance of rain late afternoon. I wish it would rain all night long but not sure that is in the forecast. We missed the showers the other night – they were ever so close but went around us.

Tomorrow I have lots of errands to run in Emporia. I am picking up a grocery order from Walmart at 2:00. Before that I need to get four bags of chick feed from Bluestem, have a blood draw done, and go to the Courthouse to have four Quit Claim Deeds recorded. It will be good to get all those errands taken care of.

As I was doing my on-line grocery order last night, I realized I could order dog food. It is cheaper at Walmart than it is at Bluestem but I usually buy it at Bluestem as they load it in the car for me. Now with on-line shopping at Walmart they can load it in the car for me and I won’t have to fight with it to get it in and out of the shopping cart. I am becoming a big fan of on-line grocery shopping. I like knowing how much I am spending before I check out. It also reduces the amount of impulse shopping I do.

No plans for the weekend unless I decide to do a Costco run Friday or Saturday. I’m not sure what mood I will be in and if I will feel like big city energy. I have had a busy week and may need to stay home for a bit. I have to go to Topeka next Wednesday for a Cardiologist appointment and need to save energy for that. I have guests until Sunday so will need to make up a couple of bedrooms after they leave Sunday.

It looks like Sunday, Monday and Tuesday will be dry and sunny. As long as it isn’t too windy they may be good days to get at the deck painting project. I would love to get that project done before the heat of the summer sets in but weather has not been cooperating with me so far this spring. It has either been too cold or too windy most days.

If we get some rain over the next couple of days I will need to mow the yard. I still haven’t done a complete first mow of the yard. I did part of it and then gave up as I couldn’t tell where I had mowed. I have a huge crop of dandelions this year and there are hundreds of dandelion puffs in the yard. My mower doesn’t do a good job of cutting them off so the yard won’t look good even if I mow.

I realized today that I feel like I am back to sitting in the in between stage. I have cocooned the last six months at home and haven’t gotten out much or done much. I feel like this quiet time at home is going to come to an end and something new is coming in. Still not sure what is coming in but feel it coming. I’m sure that doesn’t make sense but that is the best I can do with words to describe what I am feeling. We shall see what develops and if my intuition is correct.

Came home not feeling drained today which is a good thing. I am making progress on being able to stay full when I get out and about. I was drained Monday when I came home but was able to refill and then stay full today. I will take that as a sign of healing progress.

Grateful for a friend that went to lunch with me today, grateful for the promise new plants bring, and grateful for the rain that is coming soon to the prairie.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night. Not sure why as usually my sleep aide works but it didn’t seem to last night. Hoping it was just an off night and I will sleep well tonight.

I went to the courthouse in Chase County today to get the Quit Claim Deeds recorded. The lady in the Register of Deeds department made it easy for me. I had to pay a $21 fee for each of them. No extra charge if you write a check. They pass on to the customer the credit/debit card convenience fee. I will go to the Lyon County Courthouse later this week. Decided not to make a special trip to town just for that this morning.

Drove to Junction City to watch Ellexia play in a tennis tournament. There weren’t too many parents/grandparents there watching which surprised me a bit. I stayed for an hour and a half and watched Ellexia play two games. She won one and lost one. She later won two more so she had a good day. This is her first year playing tennis.

I was surprised the kids refereed their own matches. There were no coaches or field judges to be seen. The kids all seemed to work it out and played fair on calling balls out. The courts looked new and I liked the way they were laid out. They had 20 courts in play at all times all afternoon. I never did figure out how the kids knew when to play and where but they seemed to find out when they needed to know.

I came home tired. I was pleased it wasn’t too cold sitting out watching the tennis players. I wore several layers of clothes and was comfortable. The temperature was in the mid 50’s and it was cloudy. It sprinkled three or four drops on my car on the way home but the rain stayed away.

Tomorrow I am picking up a friend and we are going to have lunch at the Hays House in Council Grove and then we are going plant shopping at Grove Gardens. That will be a fun outing for me.

Thursday I need to go to town to have a blood draw, go to the Courthouse and register four more Quit Claim Deeds, get chicken and dog food and pick up some groceries. Friday I think I am going to Wichita to go to Costco.

It has been nice to get out this week but I came home drained. I didn’t talk to anyone but Ellexia at the tennis tournament. I hadn’t sat outside for two hours for a while so thinking all the fresh air and lack of sleep last night wore me out. When I got home I had to sort some chicken feed and carry that down to the chicks. I opened my last bag so will need to get more this week.

Still feeling good with no Covid symptoms. I didn’t test today but see no reason to do so now. I am past the eight day window for a rebound case. My immunity should be good for the next two months or so. Here is to hoping I don’t go for three!

Feeling a bit restless tonight. Something feels different but not sure what it is. I sometimes get this way when a big change is headed my way. Not sure what type of change might be coming though. I have had enough change for a bit. Maybe I am changing from so much empty time to a more social time ahead. We shall see what develops – or not. It could be a bit of anxiety from getting out several days in a row this week.

Grateful to have gotten to watch Ellexia play tennis today, grateful the Quit Claim Deed process was easy, and grateful for a safe trip today.

I took Ellexia out to lunch today. It was good to get out! We went to Bruff’s. She likes their Chicken Fried Steak with mashed potatoes and extra gravy. She ate most of her dinner and took the rest home to eat this afternoon. I hadn’t seen her for a bit so it was nice to have some time with her.

I finished cleaning the house today and have it ready for my guests that are coming in this evening. One of them is on his way and I’m sure the other won’t be too far behind. It is nice to have guests again.

I got the quit claim deeds from my attorney today that Jim had to sign as part of the divorce. I have to take them to the Lyon County Courthouse and to the Chase County Courthouse to get them registered. Not sure how that works but guess I will find out tomorrow. While I am there I want to order a certified copy of the divorce papers. They don’t send them to you anymore as everything is done electronically but experience tells me that one day I will need a certified copy of them. I might as well get them ordered while I am at the Courthouse. Not sure how to do that either but I’m sure someone will point me to the correct department.

I am going to Junction City tomorrow to watch Ellexia play in a tennis tournament. It is to be cold and cloudy but I will wear lots of clothes and hopefully stay somewhat warm. She told me to take a chair in case the stands are full. She is playing singles tomorrow. She also has a tournament next Monday in Emporia but she didn’t know if she was playing in that one. It will be fun to watch her play.

Wednesday I am going with a friend to Council Grove for lunch and a visit to Grove Gardens. I want to get some flowers for the flower beds around the house. Hopefully the threat of frost is over for the year now and it will be safe to plant.

Thursday I have to go to Emporia to have my blood drawn for a thyroid level test. I think they are also going to do a Vitamin D level check. It has been a bit since they have checked that.

Friday I want to go to Costco and pick up some things. I invited a friend to go with me but she has other plans. Anyone want to ride along? I will stop for lunch and then spend an hour at Costco and then come home. It will be a short trip.

It is nice to have a busy week on my calendar after being home for the last two weeks. It felt good to eat out today and get out of the house. It feels even better to be feeling good again and to be able to get out. I tested negative again this morning so am free and clear of round two of Covid.

Just heard from the other guy that is coming and he won’t be here until Thursday evening. No worries. Glad he can get the time off work and play in the tournament.

When I got the papers from the attorney in the mail today I felt a bit drawn back into the chaos of last year. I am so grateful my wise therapist advised me to go no contact with Jim and stay that way for this year. Every time something comes up I feel myself dropping back into the chaos and pain of what happened. Luckily that doesn’t happen often and once I get this paperwork taken care tomorrow I should be back present in my body and spirit. Each time it happens it takes less time for me to recover and let go of the icky feelings.

The divorce has been final for almost four months now and I haven’t talked to or seen Jim for over six months. Time does help heal me and the work I have done to heal myself has worked. I’m ever so grateful for the progress I have made and that I didn’t get stuck for a long time.

Grateful to have gotten to have lunch with Ellexia, grateful to be well and able to get out and about this week, and grateful for my healing path and journey.

What a beautiful spring day on the prairie. The temperatures were in the high 50’s and there was little wind. One of the rare spring days in KS without wind.

My handyman came out and fixed up the chicken coop porch roof. He had to replace a couple rows of shingles. It didn’t take him long to do so. He had the material needed so I didn’t have to buy new shingles. I didn’t care if the shingles matched as no one can see the top of the roof. It is good to have that project crossed off my pending list. Now if I can get the guttering guys out…….

I let the chicks out today. I checked on them a couple of times and each time four or five would be outside but the majority of them were inside. Not sure if they took turns being outside or if the same ones stayed out the whole time. I went down and locked them up for the day. I had to chase a couple back in. I wanted to lock up their coop and close the windows so the heat of the day would remain inside and keep them warm tonight. It is not to get below freezing tonight so I won’t turn the heat lamp on.

We have 40 – 60 percent chance of rain the rest of the week. Hoping out of all of it we get a good couple of inches but not sure I am going to bank on it. I hate that it is going to rain during the disc golf tournament but we will take rain however and whenever we can get it right now.

My two guys will be here tomorrow sometime – thinking late afternoon. It will be good to see them. Sometime during the week we will probably catch a meal together depending on their tournament times. I will enjoy their company and visiting with them when they are here. I won’t see much of them though as they will be out playing and watching others play.

I typed up the new lease agreement for my tenant in the Cottonwood Falls rental house. I will mail it to her for her signature this week. I’m grateful she has agreed to sign a new lease for the coming year. She has been a good tenant.

Nothing on my calendar this coming week, other than the guys coming in. I do have to get a blood draw late week sometime to check my TSH levels. I want to drive to Council Grove to get some plants sometime this week. It is time to start getting my flower beds in shape and some plants put in them for the season. My garden will consist of a few tomato plants if I get the tomato bed cleaned up from last year. Maybe when the ground is nice and soft from the rain I can get out and pull out what doesn’t belong.

My last day of quarantine is tomorrow. I will be very sad if I wake up and test positive tomorrow. I’m not showing any symptoms today but one never knows. It is possible to test positive and not have symptoms. I will test in the morning and then if it is negative declare Round Two of Covid over and done.

Feeling less restless today. I haven’t really done much but I did go outside for a bit today. That helps ground me. I will find something to put on my calendar for this week and that will help too. I’ve been home pretty much all the time for the last two weeks. I have made a few trips to town but just picked up stuff or dropped stuff off and came home. It is time for me to rejoin society and get back out there. I finally feel ready to do so.

Grateful for this beautiful, wind-free spring day, grateful the chicken coop porch roof is repaired, and grateful my quarantine ends tomorrow.

Another windy, cool and sunny day on the prairie. The wind is in a big hurry again today making it feel even colder than it is outside. We only reach 50 for the high today and have had a 51.7 MPH wind gust.

Phil came out to check out the chicken coop porch roof. He told me the lower edge of the shingles had blown off and need replaced. He was going to do it today but it was too windy to fight with shingles. He will come back when he has an hour to do the job when it isn’t so windy. Not sure when that will be as wind in KS seems to be a constant these days.

I had to turn the furnace back on last night and it has ran off and on all day. I have the fireplace on to warm up the great room upstairs. Enough with this cold weather. It is to get down to 26 tonight which will cause a hard freeze. I turned the heat lamp on for the girls again for tonight and disconnected the hose from the faucet. Hopefully this will be the last cold night until next winter. It is to reach the low 60’s most of the coming week and go down to the low 40’s at night. This is April – right? More like March temperatures.

Kathy cleaned downstairs for me today so I won’t have to do much down there to get ready for the guests that are coming in Monday. I will do some last minute cleaning Monday morning but think the house is ready. It will be fun to see the two guys that are coming. They are more like friends, than guests.

I invited the grandkids to go out to lunch with me today but they had other plans. I may go in to town for dinner tonight. I am wanting to get out and eating a meal I don’t have to cook sounds good. I’ll see if the mood is still there come dinner time. It usually sounds fun to go to town until I actually have to do it and then it doesn’t sound so fun.

Feeling a bit lost today. I have been stringing way too many nonproductive days together. I feel like I have lost my way a bit. Time to start looking for a new project and something to do. Cleaning only goes so far these days. I need something that will put a little pep in my step and give me a reason to get up in the mornings.

This round of Covid appears to be behind me now as I am on day six out from taking Paxlovid. After Monday it will be safe for me to be around people again and I can get back out and rejoin society. Not sure what that will look like though as I don’t have any where to go.

Grateful for my furnace today, grateful for Phil, and grateful this empty space time is coming to an end.

I slept long and hard last night. I hadn’t slept well the night before so the sleep was welcomed. I am getting used to sleeping 8 plus hours a night now with the help of the sleeping aide. The more I sleep, the more sleep I want. Guess I am making up for all those years when I existed on 2 – 4 hours of sleep a night.

It has been a sunny day on the prairie although it has been windy and only in the 50’s. The wind made it feel even colder. We have a freeze alert for the next three nights with temperatures on Sunday to get in the upper 20’s. This is a very late frost for KS. Hope the fruit trees don’t get frozen.

My son-in-law Tim’s dad died today. He had been on Hospice care for a few days. It is so hard to watch your kids suffer as they deal with the death of a parent. Not sure what the plans are yet. I’m sure they will get things sorted out in the days to come. Tagen and Ellexia are feeling the pain of it too. Hard to lose a Grandpa.

I am finally starting to feel restless and wanting to go do something. I am on day five post Paxlovid so have three more days to go until I will feel reasonably certain that I won’t have a rebound case. So far, I have tested negative. Not having any symptoms today so am thinking I will be good to go Monday. Maybe next week I can schedule a lunch or two with some friends and get back out and rejoin society.

I am running low on chicken tenders so may make a trip to either Wichita or KC to go to Costco next week or the following week. We shall see how the week progresses and if the mood strikes me to go.

Someone from a company called VIRALHOG contacted me about listing my tornado videos on their site. I have a total of three videos I shot of the tornado earlier this week. Supposedly companies pay them to use video stock. I signed up but doubt that it will produce any results. Anyone have any experience with them or have heard of them before? I am rather ignorant about technology and the way things are done these days. When I watched the Super Bowl this year, there were all sorts of advertisements for tech companies I had never heard of before and I have no idea what they do.

Next week is not going to be the best week for the Disc Golf tournament weather wise. It is only going to be in the mid 50’s with a chance of rain most days. They usually play on regardless but it sure doesn’t look like fun to stand out in the cold and rain. We need the rain and will take it if it comes during the tournament but it will be hard on the players.

One of these days I need to get back to painting on the deck. Last week I didn’t feel like it and this week has been too windy. Next week will be too cold. I am still a bit confused as to what to do with the railing paint as it is not taking well but I will try a second coat and see what happens. My handyman is coming tomorrow to look at the chicken shade roof so I will ask his opinion while he is here. I really would like to get that project done before the heat of the summer sits in. Betting we will go from cold to hot in a New York minute in May.

It has been hard for me to settle today and get comfortable. I want to eat all day long, feel restless and want to both move and sit at the same time. Not sure what is causing these feelings but I will do my best to allow them to “be” and see if they pass quickly. I feel like I am on the edge of a cliff today and it wouldn’t take much to push me over the ledge. Hard to get comfortable when I feel like that.

Grateful for a long night’s sleep, grateful for the sunny skies today, and grateful this too shall pass.

Had some excitement last night. A storm blew in towards sunset time. I was watching the clouds to the west for the longest time and kept thinking I was seeing a tornado. I finally thought to grab my phone and captured one. It was about three miles from us. We didn’t get much damage here – a few shingles blew off the chicken porch roof. We didn’t get much wind or rain. We did get some nice sized hail stones but they came in small bunches and not lots at a time. It sure sounded exciting for a bit though as they pinged against metal as they hit the house.

To the west of me there was some damage done. The cemetery that is three miles west had lots of stones overturned and broken. Tallgrass Prairie Preserve reported some damage. Several homes in the area were damaged as well as lots of barns, outbuildings and trees. The baseball field in Cottonwood Falls reported major damage to the dugout areas of the field as well as to the fence. Only two minor injuries to people reported so far. All in all we got lucky and dodged a huge storm bullet. There are reports that there were four separate tornadoes in the county last night.

The storms continued to roll in through the night. The emergency alert on my phone kept going off all night long with severe thunderstorm warnings. I was too tired to get up and check things out. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep though, as the sound of the wind woke me up a couple of times. I should have moved to one of the beds downstairs as I could have slept through it all if I had.

I posted the above video on the Friends of the Flint Hills group on Facebook. It has been viewed over 35.8 K times, over 1K people responded to it and over 700 shared it. I sent it to KSNT TV and they have it listed as their feature weather story on their website. I’m grateful I thought to capture it on video. It is the first tornado I have ever captured and seen that clearly.

I got several phone calls, messages and texts from family and friends checking on us last night after the storm. I am grateful for everyone that reached out to us to make sure we were OK. They all made me feel loved!

I sent a note to my handyman Phil about the shingles on the chicken coop porch roof. I’m not sure how important they are that they be fixed but I asked him to come look at it and determine that for me. Somethings I don’t know enough about to make good decisions. I am so grateful I have Phil and trust him to steer me in the right direction.

Not sure how much rain we got. I didn’t have any standing water in my back yard this morning. The ground is so dry I am sure it absorbed all that fell easily. We could sure use a day or two of constant, steady rain but not sure that is in the forecast. Our next chance for some rain is next Monday evening through Thursday. I trust that forecast will hold but don’t think I will hold my breath.

It is to cool down for the next ten days and the high will only be in the mid to upper 50’s. Burrr…. I was just getting used to the low 80’s. I’ll have to dig my winter clothes back out for the next ten days.

I placed another Walmart pickup order for this evening. I have to go to town to drop off some Chex Mix for the grandkids so will pick up my groceries then. I am liking the on-line ordering and pick-up. I bet I save money on groceries as I don’t get impulse things. It will help me stay on track with my eating plan as I won’t get things not on my eating plan.

Have had a headache and a bit of diarrhea today. Sure hoping it isn’t the start of a bounce back case. I don’t have a temperature this time so hoping for the best. So far I have tested negative but last time I had symptoms for several days before I tested positive. I will continue to isolate until I know for sure I am good to go. This is day four out from the Paxlovid so still have four more days to go until the chances diminish.

Nothing planned for the weekend but to continue to isolate. I will also continue cleaning house to get it ready for my guests that are coming in Monday afternoon. The rain helped settle the dust and ash so now I can clean and it stands a chance of staying clean for longer than a day. I keep working at it, slow like a turtle but it is getting done. I am surprised at how low my energy level tank is right now. It is taking its sweet time to refill.

I’m so grateful the storm went around us and didn’t do major damage to my property. The tornado path seems so random and unpredictable. It could have been much worse for many of us in Chase County last night. I feel for those that did have damage and am grateful for the kindness of neighbors helping neighbors clean up the damage.

Grateful to have captured the power of Mother Nature on video, grateful to have been kept safe during the storm, and grateful for friends and family that care.

Another windy day on the prairie. We had a 42.3 MPH wind gust today. Most of the time it has been between 25 – 30 MPH. Enough with the wind!

I went down to let the chickens out. I attempted to herd them out their little door to the great outdoors but had limited success. As soon as I could get a couple to go out, a couple more would come back inside. I gave up and figure they will figure it out one of these days. Maybe they are waiting for the wind to slow down. Good luck with that chicks!

Did some cleaning this morning. I am slowing getting the house ready for my guests next week. I decided to wait to dust until Monday morning as it does no good to do so now. I am getting the floors done and things organized so all I will have left to do Monday is dust.

I am feeling much better today. Not sure what was off yesterday but woke up having energy this morning. Glad that my energy is returning. I haven’t Covid tested today but did yesterday and it was negative again. Trusting today will be negative too. This is day three out from the Paxlovid and rebound cases normally happen between day two and day eight. Still have my fingers crossed I will avoid that.

Kathy’s cat and I are not on speaking terms. He figured out a way to push a screen out so he could get outside today. I duck taped the screen so it wouldn’t tear anymore. Then he jumped up in the kitchen plant window and knocked over a crystal and broke it. That damn cat! Kathy put some aluminum foil in the window to encourage the cat to stay down. We shall see if it works. He might get banned to the basement for good. Two strikes today and if he gets three strikes he is out!

Found out one of my cousins on my dad’s side of the family died earlier this month. I had lost contact with him many years ago but I stay in contact with his sister. He was younger than I am by about eight to ten years. Sorry to hear this news. I am in contact with most of the other remaining cousins and have been thinking about a family reunion sometime this summer. It has been too long since I have seen many of them. Time does pass and if I don’t get intentional about meeting up with people, I may never see them again.

Still not feeling the urge to rejoin society yet. I would have thought by now that I would have the urge to see people but am still enjoying my isolation time. I still have about five more days until the chances of a rebound case pass so will probably continue isolation until that has passed. I remember coming out of isolation when Covid restrictions started lifting and how much anxiety I had. I don’t feel the anxiety this time but maybe it is present and I am not allowing it to surface. Whatever is going on, I will continue to honor my body and stay home. I will know when it is time to get back out there.

Last night I was getting undressed so I could take my bath and noticed the bathroom sinks were dirty. I thought I had tracked in grass clippings from mowing but when I took a closer look I realized it was ash that had blown in through the window. Sure wish it would rain so the ash would settle down and not blow inside.

My life seems to have gotten much simpler lately. I don’t have much on my calendar and not much to do. I have no desire to find something to do. After all the chaos of last year, this simple time feels healing and needed. I’m sure one of these days I will get busy again but for right now, doing nothing feels right. My central nervous system is finally settled down and I don’t react and then overreact when I get stimulated.

Grateful for a day of feeling great, grateful for this simple time in my life, and grateful for the rain that is coming to the prairie soon.

My rancher guy showed up last night to burn. He had looked at the forecast for the rest of the week and decided it was not going to be better conditions than tonight so he came and got it over with. He came close to sunset so we got to watch a night burn. It went easily and safely. He didn’t burn one little patch as he was afraid the hay that is stored by it was too close to the edge and there was too big of a chance of it burning. Good to have the pasture burned for the year.

I went out late morning to mow. On my third trip around the back yard I saw a killdeer acting like it was trying to distract me from something. When I came around the next time I spotted a nest with four eggs in it laying on the ground. I stopped when I got up to the house to get my phone so I could take a picture of it. When I got back down to the area where the nest was, it took me five minutes to find it. They hide them in plain sight well. I will keep an eye on the nest and see if I can see the babies. Hopefully the rain that is to come in this week won’t wash them away.

I finally gave up mowing. It is hard to tell where I have been and it is windy and dusty out there. I have dirt in all sorts of places on my body. My eyes are going to take a few days to wash all the dirt out of them. I got about 50% of the yard mowed before I gave up. Maybe if we get some rain this week I can get the rest mowed up.

The yard is extra bumpy this year. Jim had gotten the U-Haul truck stuck when he moved out and then the tow truck that he called to pull the U-Haul out got stuck. My handyman filled in the trenches the trucks made but it is rough riding in the back yard.

I haven’t felt 100% today. Not sure what is wrong. I am more tired than I have been and just feel off. I don’t have a temperature. It could be my body adjusting to the heat. It reached over 80 today. I don’t do well in heat. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Picking up the groceries from Walmart last night was smooth and easy. I didn’t have to wait very long before they brought the groceries out to me and loaded them in the back of my car. I got everything I ordered. I will definitely do on-line ordering again. The only thing I couldn’t get that I wanted was a bag of ice. If they offer it on-line, I couldn’t find it.

I opened the door this afternoon for the chicks to go outside. I have checked a couple of times and so far none were outside. When I went down last night to close the door, one chick was outside. We played run around the coop a couple of times until she finally went inside. Dang girl anyways!

Slowly working on getting my whole house cleaned. I have gotten a start on it. Hard to clean when it is so windy and I know the dust is being blown inside. Will do the best I can do and call it good. If you don’t like dust, don’t come to my house!

My 10-day quarantine ends tomorrow night. It will be good to know that if I want to get out, it is safe for me to do so. I don’t have anywhere I need to go, so will probably stay home for a bit longer. Now that I can get groceries without going in a store, I may never shop in a store again.

Still sitting in a good head space although I am feeling a bit restless today. Not sure what is behind the restlessness although I have a situation happening in the family that is hard and there is nothing I can do to help. Still daily testing for a Covid rebound so I don’t expose someone unknowingly. I will be grateful when I can put Covid Round Two to bed and be done with it and know my chances of having a rebound case no longer exist.

Grateful for the killdeer nest I found today, grateful the pasture was safely burned, and grateful for a warm, spring day.

The neighbor burned his pasture today. The guy that cuts my hay came to my door and told me he was going to burn my land. We talked about what to avoid and off he went to help my neighbor. I watched them for a bit but got too nervous to keep watching.

The neighbor across the road joined them and burned his pasture too. They looked like they were done and hadn’t burned my property yet. The doorbell rang and the guy that usually burns my property showed up. My neighbor had forgotten to tell him they were burning today so my guy will come back later this week and burn my property. I guess the guy that cuts the hay just assumed they were burning my property too.

It all gets sorted out some how but I am rarely in the loop of communication. It feels like I am the last to know what is happening around here when it comes to things like this. My guy thought the wind was a little high to be burning today and he wants a north wind when he does my property. He thinks he will be able to do it Thursday or Friday. We shall see.

It is good to know that neighbor helps neighbor when it comes to burning. They all seem to work together and somehow the job gets done safely.

Lynn came by and picked up the dishes I had gotten washed up yesterday. It is good to have that project done and gone.

I made an on-line order at Walmart today for the first time. I had several things I needed and I have a prescription that is ready to be picked up. I thought I would do the community a service and not go in the store shopping. I am not testing positive but I’m still supposed to be careful around others. I will pick up the order this evening between 6:00 and 7:00. I’m interested to see what the pickup process is like and if I like shopping this way. If so, I may never have to go in Walmart again. I will just drive up, load up and go home. I picked up the Paxlovid via car pickup last week and it was easy.

Not sure why I hadn’t tried the on-line ordering before but I hadn’t. Michelle was telling me how easy it is and she told me it saves her money as she doesn’t gather stuff she really doesn’t need while she is shopping in store. Better late to the party than never showing up, I guess!

I went down and opened the chicks outside door after the burning was complete. When I was hanging around down there for a bit they hadn’t ventured outside yet. I’ll go down in a bit and see if they figured it out. No harm if they don’t go outside. They will get it figured out one of these days if they didn’t today.

One of the cats is missing. I haven’t seen her for several days. She has never disappeared before. Not sure what is going on. She may still be around but hiding from me. I have been a bit worried about her as her hair has not grown in from being shaved several months ago. I trust she will show up soon.

The bitter taste from the Paxlovid is still hanging around, although it is getting better this afternoon. I took my last dose last night. Hoping by tomorrow it will be gone for good.

The water department called me first thing this morning. The April bill has been deducted from my account but I can’t find record that the February or March bill has been. According to their records, they received the money so I guess I will let it go. Sooner or later this mystery will be solved and I will know if I owe them money or not.

I plan on Covid testing daily for the rest of the week to make sure I don’t develop a bounce-back case. From what I read, you can become positive again without getting any symptoms and then give Covid to someone. I have guests coming in next Monday and want to make sure I am negative for them. I have a backup plan in case I do test positive. I can put both of them downstairs and ask them not to come upstairs. I will stay upstairs and stay away from them. They can access the downstairs without coming upstairs. That would keep them safe and allow them to come, even if I do test positive. I’m not sure they could find other accommodations in Emporia for next week at this point.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie. The temperatures are in the mid 70’s and the wind is light to moderate. Lots of blue skies and sunshine today. The smell of smoke continues to hang in the air but I have a feeling it will all week as the ranchers are rushing to get their burning in this week. I can see lots of prairie fire smoke on the horizon in all directions today.

Still sitting in a good head space today. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten restless since I have stayed home since last Wednesday. It will be good to take a drive to town today but I am not really feeling the urge to see people yet. It is such a beautiful time of the year I love driving around right now and seeing all the blooming trees. It is easy to miss the spring season where I am at as their are few trees and spring flowers.

Grateful the burning was completed today safely, grateful for on-line ordering options, and grateful for this beautiful, spring day.

I tested negative today! Yay! Technically my isolation period is over although I have to wear a mask for the next couple of days if I get out. My intention is to stay in through Wednesday unless something very urgent comes up. There is a chance I could get a bounce-back case and I don’t want to expose someone in case I get round three.

I have one last dose of Paxlovid to take tonight. I will be grateful when this nasty bitter taste goes away. Hoping it will be gone by morning. I suppose it is a small price to pay as the Paxlovid helped me have a mild case of Covid.

I have felt a bit tired today but I didn’t sleep very much last night. I woke up at 5:30 this morning after going to sleep around 1:00 and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Just one of those nights. Thankfully it is becoming rare for me to get less than six to eight hours of sleep, thanks to my sleep aide. I took one last night but some nights they aren’t as effective as most nights.

I got my bathroom cleaned last night. I am working on cleaning my bedroom today. I have the sheets washed and put back on my bed. It will be a treat to climb into a freshly made bed tonight. After all the nights I ran a temperature the sheets were getting nasty.

I did three loads of laundry today and got everything folded and put away. I am working on washing two totes full of dirty dishes from the Pioneer Bluffs Fundraising dinner that was held last night. I had to back out of serving so volunteered to wash the dishes instead. I have done six dishwasher loads so far and have one left to go and then that job will be done. It gave me something to do today and feel productive a bit.

There was a meme on Facebook that said: “At this point I am about 97.3% feral and will not be able to be integrated back into society”. I felt that today! I still have no desire to go somewhere or to see anyone. I wonder how long I can string this out before I have to do society again?

A dear friend brought me some yogurt and a travel magazine today. The world does turn much sweeter when one has friends that care. I so appreciate the gesture and have enjoyed reading the travel stories.

The wind has been in a big hurry all day today. We had a 52.8 MPH gust with sustaining winds around 30 – 35 MPH most of the day. Thankfully the forecast for tomorrow shows calmer winds with clear blue skies and warmer temperatures. I will welcome spring back tomorrow.

As it is going to be nice tomorrow, I plan on letting the chicks go outside for their first time. Hopefully they will figure out how to go back inside tomorrow evening so I don’t have to chase them to return them to the big house for the night. Usually they figure it out pretty quickly.

Nothing on my calendar for the coming week except for housecleaning. With guests coming a week from tomorrow I have a whole house to clean between now and then. I work in very short spurts so it will take me all week to get the house clean. If I can do a couple rooms a day I will get it done. The way the wind is blowing I’m not sure the dust will stay outside but at least it will be fresh dust on things – right?

I wonder what stories our grandchildren will tell about their Covid days when they get to be my age? I still think we haven’t even begun to see all the ramifications that Covid has brought to our lives and understand the full range of cause and effect it has caused. I remember the stories about the depression that my grandmother and mother told and how that shaped my mother for the rest of her life.

Feeling very grateful that Round Two of Covid was relatively mild. I had two bad days of it and that was before I knew it was Covid. I am lucky to have escape permanent consequences from either case, as far as I know. The first case was definitely much harder and lasted much longer than the second one did.

Grateful to have tested negative today, grateful the last dose of Paxlovid is tonight, and grateful for friends that brightened my day.

I woke up feeling “normal” this morning. It has been a good day. Very little cough, no temperature, I have had a bit of an appetite, and my energy level is starting to return. I think Round Two of Covid is in the books and done! It is good to be back.

I will continue isolating until Wednesday. I still have one more day of Paxlovid to take and will want to wait a few days to make sure I don’t have a bounce back case. I absolutely do not want to give this crud to someone else.

I pulled a dumb move today. I have an icky smell around my kitchen sink and pulled everything out from under it to see if I have a leak (I do not). I found an unmarked spray bottle filled with a clear liquid. I assumed it was water as I used one to spray Jim’s cat when it would jump on the counter. I took the lid to the bottle off and took a big sniff. It was ammonia. Oh my! It cleared my sinuses right up. I never filled a bottle with ammonia so it must have been left from when Jim lived here. I threw it away! Yuck!

I went down to check on the chickens once the rain quit this early afternoon. It is plain ass cold outside again today – low 40’s. I remembered going down there before the storm rolled in last night to check on them but couldn’t remember for sure if I had closed their windows. I had, thank heavens. They were all warm and dry. I turned on their heat lamp for tonight as it is to get down to 38 overnight. When this little cold spell moves on out I will start letting the chicks go outside during the day. They are growing leaps and bounds in their big house and I am sure they will enjoy a new adventure getting to go outside.

We had a bit of a storm come through last evening. Got some light pea- size hail and not enough rain. It rained again overnight. I think we got about 3/4 of an inch all together. When I got up this morning it was foggy and misty. We got a bit more rain this afternoon. Am sure we didn’t get enough to get us up to an inch but it will be enough to help the grass turn green. The wind has been in a big hurry all day and it felt even colder than the low 40’s out. Come on spring and return to my prairie.

I have some green chicken cooking in the crock pot for dinner. It will be my first “real” meal since last Sunday. I hope I can eat some when it is done. This is the first day I have gotten hungry since I got Covid. Things are returning back to normal in a good way.

I called the city office today to find out why I am not seeing my water bill get automatically deducted from my checking account. They didn’t answer so I left a message. I looked at the clock a bit ago and realized they hadn’t called me back. I thought that was a bit weird as they are usually very prompt in returning calls. Then I remembered today is Saturday. For some reason, I thought it was Friday. I guess when you stay home and do nothing the days start to run together after a bit.

I looked up the bounce back cases and it can happen between two and eight days after stopping Paxlovid. I have one more day of Paxlovid to take. The article I read said you can take a second round of Paxlovid if your symptoms warrant it. You have to isolate for five days again and then take precautions for another five days.

I sure trust I won’t have a bounce back case as I have guests coming in the 24th and I want to be free and clear then. I have things to do and people to see next week and I am done with Covid!

Kathy did another Covid test today just to make sure she is still negative. She is! So grateful she didn’t get this crud. As far as I know, I didn’t share and share alike with anyone.

My rancher guys should show up sometime this week to burn. They like to have the pastures burned by April 15 which is the start of cattle grazing season but this year’s burns are delayed due to the dry conditions and high winds. This little bit of rain will help create more favorable conditions for them to burn in.

Sitting in a good head space today. It feels so good to feel good again. I am reminded yet again to not take my health for granted and to be grateful that I am still in relatively good health. I really need to get serious about getting an exercise program going and sticking with it. I am not in good physical shape and I need to fix that. Kathy is inspiring me as she has been working out regularly since she moved in and I can see the difference it is making for her. The trip to Europe will be a lot more fun if I am in great shape by then.

Grateful to be feeling good again grateful Round Two was relatively mild, and grateful for the rain the prairie received overnight.

I am feeling better today.  Have had a bit of diarrhea but since I know it is a reaction to the Paxlovid I can take something to slow it down.  I had a sore throat this morning so I looked up the side effects for Paxlovid and sore throat is one of them.  My cough is better and no temperature so far today.  I think I am on the mend.

My John Deere lawn mower came back home today.  They guy delivering it called me when he got here and asked if he could leave it in front of the barn.  I went down after he left and put it in the barn.  It started easily and moved like it should.  It is good to have it back home and ready for mowing season.  When I am feeling better, I will need to fill my gas containers and mow the yard.

I had forgotten with Covid each day brings something new and unexpected.  It is hard to know how you are going to feel from day to day.  Today I have been a bit nauseous but that seems to be quieting down.  I ate my yogurt this morning and then felt a bit off.  My heart rate hands been in the low 40’s most of the morning and I was a bit lightheaded.  I have drank some extra fluids and seem to be feeling better.  I was able to eat a banana and a piece of toast.  Not sure I am ready for anything heavy but may try some chicken with rice soup for dinner tonight.  I seem to be a bit more tired today.  I slept well last night but may need a nap today.  Kinda waiting to see if my lunch of a banana and toast will give me a pick-me-up and I can stay up.  I sleep better at night if I don’t nap.

Trusting I won’t get a rebound case as I have disc golfers coming in the 24th.  I need to be well and not expose them to this crap.  I did send them a note warning them that there is a chance I could be down and out while they are here.  They know the house and we can figure out a way to not be together if I do get a rebound case.  Man!  I have all my fingers and toes crossed that doesn’t happen.

Kathy tested today just to make sure she didn’t have it.  Grateful her test showed negative.  Neither Michelle nor Nicole got it either so am thinking we might be home free.

I went down and took care of the chicks this morning.  They sure are growing fast.  I filled their watering container today and was able to lift it back into the coop.  Next week I will start letting the girls out during the day.  The big ones are seven weeks old and the little ones will be seven weeks old Tuesday.  It is getting hard to tell them apart.  Eggs won’t be here until the middle of July – that seems a long ways away.

The Kansas Department of Health called me today.  They were looking for people that work in a public, high-risk setting such as health care, prisons, schools, etc.  The last question they asked me is if I needed a referral for mental health services due to the isolation of quarantine.  I am grateful they are checking in with people and bringing that up.  The lady recommended I quarantine for ten days from the first day of symptoms.  It is only required that I quarantine for five days and then wear a mask if I go out for another five days.  I don’t have anywhere to go or do so I will stay home for the full ten days.

I am halfway through taking the Paxlovid.  The bitter taste is still there but drinking lots seems to help.  It gets worse about 30 minute after I take my morning and evening pills.  The worst lasts about an hour and then it eases up a bit but remains present.  Two more days – I can do this!

I got hold of my plumber yesterday and he is ordering a kitchen faucet and will bring it out and install it when it comes in.  I also need the plumber to fix the water line to the refrigerator as it hasn’t worked since the water softener got removed last week.  Seems like I always have a pending list of things that need fixed around here.

We have a good chance for rain on the prairie tonight.  The grass will ready start greening up if we get some much needed rain.  I’m surprised the pasture that was burned two weeks ago is as green as it is without rain.  I still haven’t heard when my pasture is going to get burned.

Haven’t gotten restless or felt the need to get out and about yet.  It has felt like a treat to allow myself the pleasure of staying home all week.  Kathy goes to town most days and will be able to pick up some groceries for me if and when I need them.  So grateful she is here and able to do that for me as needed.

I don’t have anything on my calendar all week next week except get the house cleaned for my guests that are coming in the following week.  Trusting I will regain my strength and have the energy to do that next week.  If things continue as they have been I will be good to go.

Grateful my mower is back home and ready to go, grateful for the chance of rain tonight on the prairie, and grateful my healing journey is progressing.

This has been a much better day.  Thank heavens for Paxlovid I feel on the mend.  I’m still a bit weak and not 100% but on my way.  My temperature broke and has stayed away today.  The diarrhea is gone and my headache is gone.  I still have a bit of a cough but it is better.

I was able to eat most of my yogurt today.  I ate some graham crackers and a banana too.  I have a hard time eating when I am sick and am forcing myself to eat today.  I sat some chicken tenders out to thaw in case I get hungry and can eat dinner tonight.  I doubt that I will but maybe by tomorrow I will feel like eating some.

I had a rough couple of hours last night.  My restless legs felt more like restless body last night for about two hours.  I was so tired but I couldn’t quiet my body. I finally got up and sat in my chair for about an hour and things quieted down and I was able to sleep for 4 -5 hours.  I ate some yogurt to give my body some fuel.  It did the trick.

I was able to walk down to check on the chicks today.  I carried a bag of chick feed that was about 1/3 full down to them and was able to fill their feed container and put it back on its hook.  Thank heavens they didn’t need water.  The walk down and back up didn’t feel so long today.

I even managed to call John Deere and ask about the mower.  They apologized for the delay and promised to deliver it tomorrow.  I also called and left a message with the guttering guy.  I haven’t heard back from him yet.  I still need to call my plumber.  Two out of three is not bad for me.

I sent a note to my doctor.  When my C Diff test came back and before I tested positive for Covid he prescribed an antibiotic that is new to the market.  It treats IBS diarrhea.  Walmart Pharmacy was out of it and had to order it.  Walmart text me today to let me know it is ready to be picked up and told me my cost is $812.  I asked the doctor if I still needed to get it filled as my diarrhea has stopped and the reason for it was Covid.  He let me know I didn’t need it.  I’m grateful Walmart was out of it yesterday as it turns out I didn’t need it.  I am also grateful to know there is an antibiotic I can take if my IBS flares up again.  The price is a bit outrageous.  Medication has gotten to be a privilege of the wealthy.

The Paxlovid is causing a nasty taste in my mouth.  From reports of others that have taken it, it goes away quickly once you complete the dose of medication.  I don’t eat sugar or artificial sugars so sucking on a mint is not an option for me.  I keep drinking and occasionally will eat a graham cracker to help take the taste away.  Yuck!  I guess it is a small price to pay for feeling better overall.

This case of Covid has been completely different than the first one.  I didn’t run a temperature with the first case nor did I have diarrhea or body aches.  The cough, headache and sneezing were similar.  This round has been much easier and am thinking I really didn’t need the Paxlovid this time but sure could have used it last time.  Maybe my cough this time would have gotten as bad as the one last time if I hadn’t taken Paxlovid this time.  I wonder how many times you can take Paxlovid?  I don’t seem to have as bad of a brain fog as I did last time.  It took over two months for that to lift last time.

I managed to take my normal daily pills this morning.  I have only taken my thyroid medication the last couple of days.  I just couldn’t make myself take the  normal stuff.  Most are supplements and not prescribed medications.  It was all I could do to get the Paxlovid down yesterday.

Funny how it feels like the world stops when you get sick.  I’m sure there is a lot happening out there but my world seems to have shrunk this week and I’m not aware of much else going on.  It will be nice to have a couple more quiet days at home with no temptation to leave or do anything.  Maybe I will find some energy and start doing some housecleaning but then maybe not.  It will feel good to move my body again but don’t think that is going to happen today.  We will see what happens tomorrow.

So far Kathy is staying symptom free.  I haven’t heard from Michelle but Nicole told me she is still feeling OK.  So grateful no one else in my little circle has gotten it from me.

I will continue resting and drinking lots of fluids and give my body what ever time it needs to heal.  I enjoy staying home so this feels like a treat.  One of these days I will start to get a bit restless  and will need to get out but will stay tucked in for the next five days at least.  My quarantine is officially over Saturday morning but not sure I will be ready to be out and about then.

Grateful to be feeling better, grateful Kathy and the girls have stayed Covid free, and grateful I have a beautiful place to quarantine in.

The good news of the day is I don’t have C Diff.  The bad news of the day is I have Covid.

I had another rough night last night.  Up in the middle of the night running to the bathroom along with running a temperature.  I sent a note to my doctor and requested he order a stool test for C Diff.  I went in to the hospital lab and took care of that this morning.  The nurse called early afternoon and said it was negative.  Thanks heavens!

She was concerned though about my symptoms, especially when I told her I was experiencing a cough and congestion and recommended I get Covid tested.  I used one of Kathy’s Covid tests this time and I tested positive.

I looked up the symptoms of the latest variant and sure enough diarrhea is one of the first symptoms listed.  The other symptoms listed were sneezing, sore throat, cough, congestion, headache, diarrhea, body aches, fever and fatigue.  Check, check and check!

The good news is I can now take something to slow down the diarrhea.  When you have C Diff you can’t do so as you want the colon to empty the toxic waste.

My doctor prescribed Paxlovid this time.  I went back to Emporia and picked that up via pickup in my car with my mask on.  There was no charge for it.  Hoping it will do the trick and I will get to feeling better soon.

I actually feel better today than I did yesterday.  I’m tired of running to the bathroom but so relived I don’t have C Diff.  It is a sorry state of affairs when Covid is the better of two options!

I cancelled my doctor appointment for tomorrow in Topeka.  I did that before I knew I had Covid.  I just wasn’t up to the trip to Topeka.  I wasn’t sure I could make it that far without a bathroom close by.  I rescheduled for sometime in May.

I also had to cancel out of volunteering for the Radius at the Ranch fundraiser dinner for Saturday night.  Kathy is not going to go either out of an abundance of caution in case she gets Covid.  Anyone want to take our place?  It is fun serving the guests and you get a free steak dinner afterwards.  I can hook you up if you are interested.  They could use some more volunteers, especially with both of us having to back out.

I called the Chase County Health Department to report my case.  They are still kinda tracking Covid case counts.  You only have to isolate from five days of first symptoms and then wear a mask for the next five days if you go out.  I plan to stay home for at least 10 days and maybe longer.  The risk of having a bounce back case with Paxlovid is high and I don’t want to expose someone.  I don’t have anything on my calendar for next week so I am good to stay home.

I have had 10 bathroom emergencies today.  I have lost 7 pounds since Sunday.    I have managed to eat two bananas and a piece of toast with Manuka honey on it today.  I may try some chicken and rice soup later.  I have no appetite and feel a bit nauseated when I do try to eat.  Doing my best to drink lots of fluids and rest.

Trusting this will be an easier go of it than last time.  I’m on day three and not near as sick as I was last time on day three.  With the Paxlovid I trust I will be feeling even better by tomorrow.  I worry more about long Covid and am grateful the doctor gave me Paxlovid this time to lessen the chances of long Covid setting in.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today.  The high is in the mid 80’s.  There is lots of smoke in the air and a haze on the horizon as ranchers are taking any opportunity with low winds to get their burning done.  The burning season is a bit behind this year.  Still lots of pastures that need burned.  We need rain so badly – may try to do a rain dance soon.

So far Nicole and Michelle are symptom free.  I sure hope they didn’t get Covid on our trip too.  It makes me a bit nervous about traveling to Europe in September but I will go and see what happens and deal with whatever does happen.  Having diarrhea traveling would be a challenge though!  May need to pack some Depends!

I trust Kathy doesn’t get it either.  She stays downstairs most of the time but does come up for her meals, etc.  I sure would hate to see her get this too.  Not sure wearing a mask at this point in time would do any good as I have already exposed her.

Grateful I have a diagnosis of what was wrong, grateful it wasn’t C Diff, and grateful I am feeling better today.

 

It was a long night.  I ran 101 – 102 temperature all night long.  It was hard to get comfortable- one minute I would be cold and the next hot.  I felt drained this morning but am feeling a bit better this afternoon.  I am getting concerned that C Diff is back as I have had 8 watery stools today.

I tested myself for Covid last night and again today and both tests were negative.  I’m not sure I trust them though as last time I had Covid it took five days of being sick before I registered positive.  My symptoms are more in line with C Diff today than Covid.

I ate a piece of toast with Manuka honey on it at noon and had half a bowl of chicken with rice soup.  Trying my best to drink as much as I can but it isn’t going down well.

It will be very discouraging if I have C Diff again.  The good news will be I should qualify for a fecal matter transplant this time.  That seems to be the only way to “cure” C Diff.  The bad news is I would have to suffer through another round of it first.

I was able to fold two loads of laundry today and put the clothes away.  I didn’t have the strength to do that yesterday.  I walked down to the chicken coop yesterday and had to rest a bit before I could make it back up to the house.  Thank heavens Kathy is here and can take care of them properly for me.  I didn’t have the strength to fill their watering container.

I am still in my PJ’s.  I conceded that this was going to be a rest day and decided there was no used getting dressed.

I am to go to Topeka Thursday for a retina exam.  Unless I am feeling lots better by tomorrow I think I will cancel that appointment.  They have to dilate my eyes and inject a dye that causes me to have severe nausea for a bit.  I don’t think I want to go there this week.

Dang!  This sucks!  I was doing so good at not getting sick.  Hoping this isn’t C Diff and just a 24 hour bug of some sort.

Grateful for Kathy’s help and presence, grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful I am feeling a bit better this afternoon.

I woke up this morning feeling like I got run over by a truck.  I have had diarrhea, muscle aches, headache, low grade temperature and am tired.  All I have done today is take naps.

I walked down this morning to check on the chicks and felt like it was a long, long walk down and back up to the house.  The chicks are doing well.  I’m grateful I didn’t have to fill their watering container as I don’t think I had the strength to lift the bucket of water.

I took an at-home Covid test which was negative.  This doesn’t feel like what I had when I had Covid.  Hoping it is just a little bug of some sort that hitchhiked home with me and it will move on by tomorrow.  If not I will Covid test again tomorrow.  Last time I had Covid it took five days for it to show up positive.  If I have any suspicions that it is Covid I will go get the other type of Covid test.

Grateful I am home, grateful for my comfortable bed, and grateful I had nothing on my calendar today so I could take a rest day.

I moved the chicks to their big house today.  When I came home last night I could smell them all the way upstairs in the house.  It was time to get them outside.  Kathy helped me clean up the mess they made and carry them down to the big house.  I still have cleaning to do in the furnace room and then need to put everything back in it’s place but am making progress.  It has been a big job to get that room cleaned up.

When I went down to check on the girls this afternoon they seem to be settling into their new digs.  Several had found the roosting bars and were enjoying sitting on them.  I hooked the heat lamp up for night time to make sure they stay warm enough at night.  They have plenty of room to get away from the heat lamp if they get too hot with it on.  I will keep them inside the coop for several days and then let them go outside during the day.  I’ll have to set timers to make sure I remember to go down to let them in and out.  Once it stays warm enough at night I can leave their door open at night but it needs to be 70 or over at night before I can do that.

I need to drive around to the back of my house and load up all the trash bags of used wood shavings.  I think I will dump them on my recycling pile as I don’t have room in my trash can for them.  I also have things to take down to the barn to store until the next time I get chicks.  I think next time I will get chicks in the hot summer time so I can start them in the big house to begin with.  Lots less mess that way.

I found a dead mouse – yuck!  I got brave and managed to get it in the trash bag with the help of the dust pan.  When I was fixing the big house for the chicks a mouse dropped out of the sliding door that closes up the little door the chicks use to go in and out of the coop.  Enough with mice today!

I am a bit tired today.  I probably should have taken a rest day and moved the chicks tomorrow but it was time for them to go out.  I will enjoy my house more if I don’t smell them inside.  I may finish up the job tomorrow but we will see how I do today.  I took a rest and will try to get some more done today.

I have two problems to solve.  I went out and looked at the painting on the deck Kathy and I had done before I left for Vegas.  The paint is failing already – even on the new boards that had never been painted before.  Not sure if it just needs a second coat or if I got the wrong type of paint.  I will have to figure that out before I bother painting any more.  No use painting if it isn’t going to work.

The second issue is in the furnace room.  There is a floor drain in there and wood shavings got down the drain.  Not sure how many but I know some did.  Not sure what I need to do to make sure the shavings go on down and don’t plug up the drain.

I’m sure when I am not so tired I will figure out a solution to both of those issues.  I’m a bit fried today and my brain is not functioning at 100% right now.

Tomorrow I need to call John Deere and find out when they are returning my mower.  It is time to do my first mow of the season.  I also need to call my plumber and order a new kitchen faucet and have them check to make sure I didn’t get a water leak in the barn over the winter.  I like being able to use the bathroom in the barn during mowing season but don’t want to turn the water on in the barn until I know for sure I don’t have a broken pipe.

I got another bill from my divorce attorney that I wasn’t expecting.  I had forgotten she had to register a quit claim deed on the rental properties.  That finally got done and she billed me for the time it took to do that.  Trusting this will be the last and final bill from her.

I hope the run of bills I have been racking up is coming to a close.  They seem to come in bunches and this bunch has been a big one.  Yikes!  I am overdue for a couple months of no unexpected bills.

Luckily I don’t have anything on my calendar until Thursday this week so I can take a couple of days and get all the way home and get caught up.  I don’t think I have to go get groceries for a couple of days so I can stay home all day tomorrow.  I will finish up the furnace room project and get the basement cleaned from the chick mess.

I have two guests coming the last week in April and will need to clean my whole house between now and then.  It will give me a good reason to clean which I have needed to get me started.  The two guys are coming in so they can play in the disc golf tournament.  Both have stayed with me before and are like friends to me.  It will be fun to have them here and visit with them.

It felt good to come home with a little bit of gas still in my tank.  I was pleased that I was able to stay somewhat full during the trip.  It makes me feel more comfortable about my upcoming trip to Europe in September.  This trip had several opportunities for me to practice some different techniques I have learned and I was pleased that I was able to use them successfully for me.  Self development is a life-long process and I am pleased to learn new tricks.

Grateful the chicks are in their big house tonight, grateful for Kathy’s help in helping me move them there, and grateful for life lessons.

I got home tonight around 12:40.  We had a long travel day.  We checked out of the hotel at 11:00 Vegas time (which is 1:00 KS time).  We decided to go to the airport as we really didn’t have anything else to do.

The ride to the airport only took 15 minutes today.  Wednesday when we arrived it took 45.  There was little traffic.  Going through security took 10 minutes at the most.  There were few people in line.  Nicole has TSA pre-check and it took her longer to get through than it took Michelle and I.

Our flight didn’t leave until 5:00 Vegas time so we had a long afternoon of sitting at the airport.  There were not many food choices and no shops so we people watched and airplane watched.

Our flight departed on time and arrive 7 minutes before scheduled.  It was smooth and easy.  The new airport was easy to navigate and the blue bus showed up after only a few minutes wait.

We saw prairie fires from our view in the airplane as we flew over KS tonight.  They are just as beautiful from the air as they are up close.  We saw one fire on the way home outside of Ottawa.

We got to my car and then went to Nicole’s house to drop her off then headed home.  I dropped Michelle off and came home.  It was ever so good to get home.

This trip helped me learn more about each of my daughters and who they have become as adults.  I made some wonderful memories and will always treasure this trip.  I also learned some things about myself which I always appreciate doing.

Grateful for the time I had with my daughters in Vegas, grateful to be home safe and sound, and grateful for the beautiful moon that watched over us on our drive home tonight.

We took a quieter day today.  Nicole and I went and had pedicures this morning.  That was relaxing.  I had a bruised big toe nail that she was able to remove the dried blood under the nail.

We walked around for a bit outside after our pedicures as it was a beautiful day but I think we were all tired and the streets were a bit crowded.  We came back to the room and we all took a short nap.

My friends from CA called me today.  They are the ones I met when I walked the Camino.  It is always a good day when I hear from them.

Nicole used part of her big winnings and treated us to a fancy dinner tonight.  We went to an Italian restaurant that was fabulous.  We walked through the shops at Caesar’s afterwards to walk off our dinner.  We all ate too much.

I’m glad we are going home tomorrow.  A little bit of Vegas goes a long way.  Too many people and too much stimulation for this country girl.

I am proud that I have been able to keep myself full while I have been here.  I had to take a few breaks but was able to take good care of myself and will be going home with gas still in my tank.  It may take me a few days to fully refill once I get home.  I look forward to sitting in my corner chair and listening to the silence.

Tomorrow our flight got changed from 3:00 to 5:00 so it will be a long day.  We have to check out at 11:00.  We will have the hotel store our bags and go have a long lunch and then head for the airport.  The Vegas airport can be a challenge so we will allow lots of extra time so we can stay stress free.  We will land around 10:00 then drop Nicole off at her house and then head for the hills.  With good luck we will be home by 1:00.  I’m glad Michelle will be with me to help me stay awake.

Grateful for this time I have had with my daughters, grateful we are going home tomorrow, and grateful for the lessons I have learned this trip.

 

Nicole is the big winner so far in Vegas.  Last night she hit a $1,215 jackpot and today hit one for $480.  Michelle and I haven’t hit anything.  It is fun watching Nicole get lucky.

We walked around the area today.  The garden at Bellagio was a beautiful respite.  The water garden at Flamingo was another enjoyable stop.  There are lots of people out and about and the weather was perfect – not too hot and not too cold.

We had breakfast at Hash House A Go Go that was delicious but the portion sizes were huge.  None of us needed lunch after such a big breakfast.

We went to the 4:00 showing of the musical Menopause which was hilarious.  It was well done and we laughed and clapped along.

We had dinner after the show at In-N-Out Burger.  I had never eaten there and it was a great choice.  There was a long line but it went fast, service was excellent and the food was hot and fresh.  We found a table outside and enjoyed the warm early evening while we ate.

Tonight Michelle stayed in the room and Nicole and I went back down to try our luck.  Neither one of us won anything but we had fun trying.

I have done well with not getting overwhelmed.  At one point this afternoon we sat on the bridge overlooking the water feature at Caesars Palace and got away from the crowds for a bit.  It helped me not get drained.

I walked 16,485 steps today for a total of 7.17 miles.  Not bad for this couch potato.

Not sure what we are doing tomorrow.  Nicole is going to treat us to a fancy dinner with some of her winnings.  We may hang around the pool for a bit tomorrow afternoon and try to get some sun.  It is to be in the low 70’s so barely warm enough for the pool.

It feels like we have been here longer than 24 hours.  A little bit of Vegas goes a long ways.  We still have all day and night tomorrow and then Saturday our flight doesn’t leave until 5:00pm so will have a long day Saturday.  I’m sure we will find something fun to do tomorrow and Saturday.

Grateful for this time with my daughters, grateful for the exercise, and grateful for the beautiful weather we are having.

We arrived safely in Vegas.  Our flight was a bit delayed out of KC due to a maintenance issue but we weren’t too far behind schedule.  Traffic was very heavy from the airport to the hotel.  The new KC airport was nice.  Nicole has TSA Pre-check and went through security in 2 minutes.  It took Michelle and I about 20 minutes to get through.

We had lunch at a restaurant at the airport.  The flight was mainly smooth with the normal turbulence as we got close to Vegas.  The flight wasn’t jam packed full.  It was my first time flying Spirit.  The center isle was nice and wide but the distance between seats seemed smaller than I was used to.  We were able to carry on our bags without question.

We are staying at the Mirage.  Our room is nice and we overlook the volcano.  Lots of people out and about and lots of cars on the roads.  I think I am not in Chase County anymore!

We walked over to the Colosseum hotel and had dinner at Planet Hollywood.  It was OK but not great.  Prices of food are really high.  Service was not great either.  I have a feeling I’m going to be tired of eating out by the time I get home Saturday night.

The girls went to a musical show tonight.  Nicole was given two free tickets for a show tonight.  I am tired as I woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I came back to our room after dinner and will attempt sleep soon.  I bet they will have a great time and I will have a great time getting some quiet time.

So far I have managed the crowds and noise OK.  I didn’t hit overwhelm today.  Not sure what our plans are for tomorrow or Friday.  We will hit the main drag sometime tomorrow and see what fun we can find.

Enjoying the time with my daughters.  Priceless!

Grateful for a safe trip, grateful for this time with my daughters, and grateful for a quiet evening.

It has been a windy day on the prairie today.  Had a 53.4 MPH gust with averages of 25 – 30 most of the day.  Way too windy to paint today.

Went back out after dinner last night and painted some more railing.  Didn’t get to the steps yet but got close.  It was easier painting once it cooled down a bit and the sun wasn’t in my eyes.  The rest of it will have to wait until I get back from my short trip to Vegas.

My handyman came out to remove the water softener and other stuff from the furnace room this afternoon.  I had to move one crate of the chicks to the hallway to make room for him to work.  Kathy helped me carry the crate to the hallway and then back again when the handyman was done.

The furnace room is going to need a good cleaning once the chicks get outside.  There is a thick coating of dust everywhere in the room. I had a basket of yarn sitting out and hope that I can savage it.  Most everything else is in tubs with lids.

The project of removing the water softener had been on my pending list for over three years.  Good to have it finally out of the room.  That frees up lots more wall space so once the chicks are moved outside I can rearrange things in that room and be able to find whatever I need easily.  I so appreciate Phil.

I got packed for my trip tomorrow.  The bags I had ordered had more than enough room for three days of clothes and my purse.  You are only allowed one personal item so purses have to fit inside it.  Spirit Airlines is picky about the size of bag you can carry on so I ordered bags for each of us that meet their requirements.  I had ordered one for each of us as they were only $12 each.  I have heard Spirit likes to find things to charge you for so trusting these bags will work and we won’t have to pay $69 to check one bag one way.

The bags fold up in a little case so plan on taking it with me to Europe in September and using it as a way to bring souvenirs home with me.  I will only take my hard case carry on bag with me.  Sometimes I end up checking it as it is easier to navigate big airports without dragging the bag with me.  But if I don’t have too much time at the airport I can carry it on.  This new bag is the perfect size to put souvenirs in and I can carry it on board and check my hard case.

Trusting I didn’t forget anything.  I keep reminding myself we are not going to a third world country and Vegas has plenty of stores in case I forgot something.  I even remembered to put my extra printer and toners in the car to take to Nicole.  She doesn’t have a printer and I have an extra one to give her.  I love that a couple more things are leaving my house.

Nicole got us our boarding passes this afternoon so we are all set for tomorrow’s flight.  I will pick Michelle up around 9:45 and head to Nicole’s house to pick her up and then to the airport.  We have a 3:00 non-stop flight to Vegas.

Kathy went with me to dump recycling.  I’m grateful she did as I had to hold the door open while she dumped stuff in the trailer.  It would have been a challenge to dump things in with the wind blowing the door closed.  I always feel good when I clean out my garage and get rid of all the boxes and other recycling stuff I accumulated.  One of these days soon I need to clean the garage out but I don’t think I would have much luck blowing the dirt outside today.  It would blow back in faster than I could blow it out.

Feels so good to have the deck painting project started and the water softener gone.  I can get overwhelmed sometimes with all that needs to be done around here and find it helpful when I see progress being made.  I have finally learned to ask for help and pay people to do things I can’t do.  I am so grateful I have Phil who can do most anything at a price I can afford.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and spending time with my daughters.  As I get older I can’t think of anything I like to do better than spend time with the people I love.  Time seems to go so fast these days and I need to remember to stop and find reasons to see the people I love.

Grateful for Phil and how efficient and fun he is to work with, grateful for Kathy’s help again today, and grateful the trip is finally here!

Went to Emporia this morning and purchased 200 pounds of chicken feed and two bales of cottonseed hulls from Bluestem.  I went to the service desk and ordered and paid for it and then drove around back and the guys loaded it in my car.  Easy!  Now if I could only bring one of them home with me to help me unload it.

Filled the car up with gas so I am ready to drive to KC and the airport on Wednesday.  Stopped at an ATM and deposited a check and withdrew some cash for my trip.  Went to Walmart and picked up a prescription and a few groceries and then came home.

Went out to paint on the deck.  Kathy came out and helped .  We got six sections of the upper deck railings painted.  I think there are a total of 15 plus the four on the steps and four on the step landing.  We got the project started.  It was almost too hot painting as the sun was bearing down on us.  No wind today though so took advantage of a rare spring day and got some done.  I’ll try to get out in the morning and do another bunch of railings.  The deck floor will go fast but the railings are tedious and take patience and time.  The ladder work will need to get done sometime too and I dread that.  Grateful the project has gotten started.  I am using a different type of stain this time and hoping that it will last a lot longer than the type I used before.  I like the color of it.  I’m anxious to see it with the deck flooring painted.   I use different colors for each.

Michelle let me know Tagen has a baseball game tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 so will go in to watch that.  It is a double header but not sure I will stay for both games.  Usually when he has a double header I take Ellexia out for dinner after the first game is over.  It is to be 85 tomorrow afternoon so a perfect day to sit and watch a baseball game – hopefully in the shade.

My new glasses came in today – five days early.  Great job Warby Parker.  The prescription got changed and it is going to take me a bit to adjust to them.  They don’t feel balanced between the left and right eye.  I’ll see if I can adjust to them and will have to return to the store if not.  My left eye is hard to get right as I have a vision distortion in that eye.

I called my cardiologist to make an appointment.  I was on the phone for over 20 minutes.  One operator transferred me to another operator who transferred me to another operator who transferred me to a nurse.  I ended up having to leave a message.  They called me back and tried to give me a June appointment time.  I told them I could come to Topeka and they found a day in early May.  Good thing it isn’t too urgent.  I am getting concerned with my slow heart rate.  Last night I got 14 notifications that my heart rate had dropped below 45 and stayed there for over 10 minutes each time.  Most of the time it was 40 – 42.  One time it was 38.  I feel my heart skipping a beat occasionally, especially at night.  I’ve been to him before and he didn’t do anything so not sure it will do any good to go see him again but the skipping heart beat thing is new and he told me to come back if something like that happened.

I share half of my driveway with a neighbor.  He called today and wants to order some gravel for the driveway.  I told him I would pay for my part of it and asked him to have them deliver some all the way up my part of the drive too.  He is going to arrange it and let me know how much I owe him for my part of it.  We have to do this every couple of years.  The gravel seems to disappear and deep ruts show up.  I’ll be grateful to have some fresh gravel added.

It felt good to move my body and paint today.  I also walked down to get the mail.  Whatever I was holding on to yesterday is gone today.  I’m grateful for that.  Sometimes my job is to allow whatever I am feeling to be present and not force it or deny my feelings.  I prefer knowing what it is but I’m OK with it just leaving too.  One of the best things I ever did for myself was to give myself permission to feel whatever I was feeling and not label them as “good” or “bad” and feel shame about them.  The more I can sit with and honor what ever shows up, the quicker they pass through and I no longer get stuck in them.  Sometimes I know what they are and can name and claim them, other times they just are and then they are gone without me knowing what they were.

Tomorrow will be busy as I want to paint some more in the morning, pack for my trip and then go to town to watch the baseball game.  I’m so looking forward to getting away for a couple of days and spending time with my daughters.  Trusting the flights will be on time and the trip will be full of fun, laughter and love.

Grateful the deck project has begun, grateful my new glasses have arrived, and grateful for Kathy’s help on the deck painting project.

It was a beautiful but windy day on the prairie today,  We had a 53.4 MPH wind gust in the last 24 hours.  Too windy to paint.

I didn’t do anything again today.  I have managed to string lots of days together without doing anything.  My body is going to forget how to move if I don’t start getting up and finding myself something to do.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia and run some errands.  I almost went in today but the feed store wasn’t open which meant I would have had to go back tomorrow so decided to do it all in one trip tomorrow.  Trying to get all the things I need to get before my trip on Wednesday.  Hoping I won’t forget anything and have to go back to town on Tuesday.

Feeling a bit restless and a bit out of sorts today. Some things got stirred up in me last week and I am having trouble letting them go.  I thought I had managed to do so yesterday but they came roaring back today.  Must have some remnants of things that I need to heal and release.  I haven’t fallen in the muck pond today, just have felt restless and unsettled.  Can’t quite put my finger on what is bothering me.  Maybe by tomorrow it will be gone or at least I will figure out what is bothering me.  When I can name it and claim it, I can release it easier.  Can’t quite name it so I can claim it today.

The chicks continue to grow and eat.  Ten more days before I can move them outside.  The two dog crates are working well for them.  Trusting that when I combine the two flocks they will be OK with each other.  There is a real pecking order within chickens and sometimes they don’t play nice.  Hopefully since there are 14 in each group they will be able to integrate again and be nice to each other.

I went down to the barn expecting to see the mower but it has not been returned.  I will need to stop by the John Deere place on my way to town tomorrow and find out when they are returning it.  Maybe I needed to pay first.  Last year I didn’t but maybe they changed their policy.  I noticed the trip charge increased from $50 to $80.  Yikes!  The service part was the same cost as last year so I guess a $30 increase in the total bill from a year ago is reasonable.

The kitchen sink faucet is starting to go bad.  It is getting to be a bit of a challenge to make sure the water gets turned off after I use it.  I’ll have to call my plumber and have him order me a new one and come out and replace it.  Dang, it seems there is always something that needs attention out here.  I get tired of spending my money on boring things like faucets and plumbers.

I also need to call the guttering guy again.  He had promised me two months ago he would be out “soon”.  My definition of soon must be different than his as I haven’t heard from him.  I want to get the guttering fixed and off my pending list.  It has been on there since the end of December.  Anyone know of anyone that does guttering?  Maybe I need to try someone else.

The forecast for tomorrow is calling for light wind.  Maybe it will be a good day to paint.  I almost hate to start it and then be gone for the rest of the week but I need to paint when I can.  It has been hard to find a warm enough day without wind to paint.  Better take advantage of one when it shows up.

I wish Emporia had a yarn shop.  I need some more yarn to finish a blanket I am making.  I struggle to order yarn on-line as the colors look different in person than they do on-line.  I didn’t alter the pattern of the blanket I am making and I don’t have enough yarn to finish making it.  I will go down and see what I have downstairs but am pretty sure I won’t find enough to make do.  Dang, I should have altered the pattern.  Maybe Las Vegas has a yarn shop!

My renter in Cottonwood Falls let me know she will continue to rent my rental house in Cottonwood for next year.  I had to increase the rent a bit due to property taxes and insurance rates increasing.  I hated to raise the rent but I can’t keep eating the increases.  I hadn’t raise her rate since she moved in 1 1/2 years ago.

Think I will go out and take a short walk.  I need to more my body and maybe that will help move some feelings and emotions through.  I am very restless and uneasy tonight.  Wish I knew why!

Grateful the wind has slowed down a bit this evening, grateful for notes on my phone so I won’t forget something when I go to town tomorrow, and grateful tomorrow is a new day.

It has been a beautiful day on the prairie.  The sun has been out all day and the wind finally slowed down.  It was a tad cooler than forecasted but tomorrow it is to be warmer.  I am hoping I can get out and paint tomorrow.

I sat in my chair and knitted today.  I have been binge watching Virgin River while knitting.  I have two more episodes to watch of season four.  Haven’t done much else.  Decided to make it a lazy day and a do nothing day.

I got a bill from the John Deere dealer for the work they did on my mower.  I haven’t made it down to the barn yet but thinking they returned the mower without letting me know they were bringing it out.  I’m glad it is ready to go for this mowing season.  Now I need to either get my push mower fixed or get a new one.

Kathy got her new glasses today and I should get mine Monday.  They came in earlier than expected.  I love companies that come through better than you expect.

I signed up to volunteer for Hospice last July.  I went to their training last October and hadn’t heard anything from them.  Today I got a letter asking me for some more information.  Thinking they need to get better organized.  I don’t know if they will ever call me to let me volunteer.

Monday I will need to go to Emporia and get more chicken feed.  I will open my last bag today and I don’t want Kathy to run out while I am in Vegas.  I will need to switch to another kind of feed after the next couple of bags.  In another 12 days I can move them outside.

I still haven’t started my packing list so need to get that done before I go to Emporia Monday in case I need to pick something up for the trip.  I think I have all I need but need to double check.  I only have three more days before I leave for Vegas.  I need to make a list of things I need to take care of before I leave.  Sometimes it seems to take a lot of work to get away for a couple of days.

It’s been nice to have two quiet days at home.  I will probably stay home all day tomorrow unless something comes up that I don’t know about now.  I feel like I have been able to refill myself and each time I can do that it feels more solid than before.  It is taking me less time to recover when I get close to empty.  I will take that as a sign of progress on my recovery healing path.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the sun shine all day, and grateful the mower is back home and ready to go.

 

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STARRY NIGHT ON THE PRAIRIE

My Prairie View of the World

Went to KC today.  It was a quick trip up and back.  I fought the wind driving both ways.  I came home really tired as the drive didn’t feel as easy as normal with the high wind.  I found myself holding my breath when I passed a semi as they were weaving a bit.

I stopped and got three more gallons of deck paint.  I don’t think that will be enough but will get this much on and then get a better feel for how much more I will need.  I don’t want to end up with lots left over.

Went to the jewelry store and as promised my ring was ready.  They did a nice job with it and I am pleased with how it turned out.  I wish I had ordered it a half size smaller as it fits a bit looser that I would like.  I don’t think it will slip off but I like it nice and tight so there is no chance it could happen.  I’ll wear it for a bit and then decide it I want to take it back in to have it sized a bit smaller.

I met two friends for lunch.  We stayed and visited for over 2 1/2 hours.  It was good to catch up with them and see them again.  The time went by quickly and I enjoyed our long lunch.

I was going to stop at Costco but decided it was too much for me today.  I headed home instead.  I’m glad I did as the drive home was a challenge due to the wind.  I came home exhausted and was ever so glad to be home again.  I got home before I was completely drained but if I had stopped at Costco I would have reached empty.

The temperature has started dropping as the clouds have been rolling in.  Sure hope we get some rain out of this system that is passing through but not sure that will happen.  It seems to be mainly bluster and nothing to show for it.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend.  I hope to get out and paint if the weather cooperates.  It can’t be too windy or too cold.  Hard to find a day in the spring time of KS that meets those two requirements.  We will see what happens.

It will be good to stay home for the next couple of days.  I need to start building some reserves for my trip to Vegas next week.  The best way for me to do that is to stay home.  I am getting excited about the trip to Vegas and especially the time I will get to spend with my daughters.

I need to check with the grandKids and see if they need any treats this weekend.  They are both doing spring sports so it is hard for me to catch them to see them these days.  Tagen is playing base ball and Ellexia is playing tennis. I need to find out when they are playing so I can go watch them.  I usually only go to one or two of their events but I sure don’t want to miss them completely.

I need to find some motivation and do some housecleaning.  I noticed this week how dirty the baseboards are and that the house really needs a good cleaning again.  I can’t wait till I can open the windows and let the spring air in.  However when I do that the dust comes right in with it so cleaning almost feels counterintuitive right now.  Not sure I can let it go too much longer though.  Once I notice it, I will feel guilty sitting and not cleaning it.  Dang, need to remind myself not to look for dirt as I seem to find it.

Sitting in a good space this afternoon.  I’m grateful I realized going to Costco would have been too much and I brought myself home instead.  I’m still working on offering myself grace and taking good care of myself.  Sometimes I won’t allow myself to accept it though.  Today I was able to.  I will call that my win of the day.

Grateful for friends and long lunches, grateful for a safe drive to and from KC, and grateful for the abundance of grace and mercy.

The night sky last night was amazing.  Kathy and I went out to look at the planet alignment about an hour or two after sunset.  There was no wind and it was a perfect night to star gaze.  I can’t wait for warmer evening temperatures so I can sit out on the deck and enjoy the nights on the prairie.

I went to Emporia today to go back to the library book sale to get a sack of books for $5.  I managed to find a sack full.  They have had a very successful sale and the pickings are getting pretty slim.  Tomorrow they will be open from 9:00 – noon and a bag of books is $2.

I stopped at the Tractor Supply store and got a bag of wood shavings.  I was out and will need to clean the pens at least once more, if not twice before the girls get moved outside.  I’m pleased with how well the dog crates are working. They push the wood shavings out of the crate but they will clean up easily when the girls get moved outside.

Went to Walmart and got some yogurt.  I stopped at Freddie’s and had lunch and then came home.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today.  The temperature has reached the low 60’s and the sun has been out all day.  It should be another beautiful night to star gaze.  Last night someone was burning a pasture just south of us.  We could smell the grass fire smoke and see the flames burning as we watched the stars.  Doesn’t get much better than that on the prairie.

Tomorrow I am meeting two friends for lunch and then picking up my ring.  I will also go to Home Depot and get more deck paint and make a stop at Costco.  I put the paint cans I need more of in the car so I can take them in so they can get me what I need.  I also put a cooler in the car so I can get the frozen stuff I need from Costco.  It will be a quick trip to KC but a fun one.  I haven’t seen one of the two friends I am meeting since Covid started in 2020.

I plan on starting the deck painting project Friday.  The forecast for the weekend and into next week looks promising that I will have some good painting days.  It would be nice to get a good start on it before I leave for Vegas next Wednesday.  I have needed a big project to do and this one is a big one.

The littlest chicks are four weeks old today.  Two more weeks before they can be moved outside.  Taking care of them is easier since they got moved to the dog crates.  They sure eat a lot right now.  I fill their three pound feeders three times a day.  That means they are going through 18 pounds of chick feed daily.  I will need to get a couple more bags mid-week next week.  I will switch them to the next type of feed once I moved them outside and then when they are four months old will switch them to egg layer feed.  They won’t start laying until July when they will be about five months old.

My knitting project seems to be taking a long time.  I started knitting a blanket so I can use up some yarn that I have had for a long time.  May have to alter the pattern a bit as I planned on repeating some of the colors but I won’t have enough yarn if I do it the way the pattern calls for.  I’m at a decision point in the making of the blanket and need to make a decision and get on with it.  I can use other colors if I decide not to alter it but then I will have single skeins of colors left over and sometimes it is hard to use up a single skein of one color.

I have green chicken cooking in the crock pot for dinner tonight.  I’m not very hungry yet as I had a big lunch but hoping I will get hungry later and will eat some.  It is one of my favorite ways to cook chicken.  The leftovers are good too so I will eat it another day if I don’t eat it all tonight.

A week from today I fly to Vegas with my daughters.  I need to start making a packing list so I don’t forget something important.  I am really looking forward to this trip with my girls.  Time with my grown children is like gold to me.  Priceless!

Still maintaining my consciousness level above mid-point.  I’m amazed I am able to do that most of the time now.  I still fall down the ladder occasionally and wallow in the muck pond for a bit but I seem to be able to climb back up rather quickly these days.  It has been three months since the divorce was final and five months since I have seen or talked to Jim.  Time does help one heal along with the work I am doing on myself.

Grateful for the beauty of the night sky on the prairie, grateful for the healing work that I have and continue to do, and grateful the temperatures are warming back up.

There was a light covering of snow on the prairie this morning.  I’m grateful I didn’t move the chicks outside a week ago.  The sun has been out today and it has warmed up to the low 50’s and all traces of snow have melted away.  I bundled up to walk the trash down to the curb and was too warm.  No wind today which makes it even feel warmer than it is.

I didn’t get up until late today.  I stayed up too late last night so I slept in this morning.  I don’t think I even got up to pee last night which is unusual.  I slept long and hard.  I didn’t get dressed until I realized I needed to take the trash to the curb and didn’t want to do it in my PJ’s.  Feels good to take a lazy day and stay home and do nothing.  Although lately I seem to do nothing most days!

The dog crates are working well for the chicks.  One of them walked outside the crate when I was reaching in to get the feed and watering containers but it turned around and walked back in.  They have lots more room and seem to be content.  They are going through 12 pounds of feed a day right now.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow unless I decide to go back to the library sale and get a bag of books for $5.  I will need a few groceries one of these days but nothing urgent so may stay home again tomorrow.  We shall see what I decide to do.  Thursday I am going to KC for the day and have no plans for the weekend.

A week from tomorrow Nicole, Michelle and I are headed for Las Vegas for a couple of days.  I am really looking forward to spending time with my daughters.  We don’t have anything planned for while we are there but know we will find something to do that will be tons of fun.  Just spending time with them is all I want to do.

I need to remember to get out my chain saw, AKA razor, and shave my legs before we leave.  I rarely shave during the winter time as there is no real point to doing so.  I plan on taking a bathing suit to Vegas although I may not put it on.  Need to have my legs ready in case I get brave and go to the pool.

The ten day forecast is starting to look like spring.  By the weekend we are to be in the low to mid 70’s and the night time temperatures are not to fall below 40.  I hope to start painting my deck Sunday if the forecast holds.  I have needed a big project and that will provide me lots to do for the next couple of weeks.  I sure want to get it done before the heat of the summer kicks in.  Anyone want to come help me paint Sunday?  It will be fun……

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I told her I feel “safe” for the first time in a long time.  I have been thinking about that today and what that means.  My central nervous system has finally calmed down and I am not in fight or flight, freeze or fawn state all the time.  I still react quicker than I used to when things come up unexpected and I get surprised but I can go back to a calm state fairly quickly.

I realized when I feel safe I have lots of options and choices in what and how I want to respond to life.  I can allow myself time to pause and choose.  Before I didn’t feel I had many choices and couldn’t sort through the ones I had.  Not sure if that makes sense.  I didn’t realize when I was stuck in the fight or flight mode the damage it was doing to me.  I was using so much energy just to survive that I wasn’t thriving.  I feel like I am now thriving in a new way.  Feels good to be back on track with my personal inner journey.

Grateful for a long night’s sleep, grateful for the sunshine on the prairie today, and grateful I now feel “safe” to be myself again.

What a day on the prairie.  I went to Emporia this morning.  Stopped at the Vet’s office and got flea and tick medication for two dogs and two cats and HeartGuard for the two dogs for three months.  Spent almost $300!  Another customer must have seen my face when I was told the cost.  She quickly told me “They are worth it”.  Somedays I’m not sure that is true.

Between the meds for the dogs and cats and chicken feed my budget for the month is blown.  I have spent way more on my animals this month than on me.

Went to the library book sale.  Today and tomorrow is bag day for $10 a bag.  There were three small children running around, screaming and doing what little ones do.  They almost tripped an older lady and pushed others out of their way.  I could only handle it so long and had to remove myself from the room.  I didn’t get a full bag of books but I took care of myself.

I usually enjoy watching little ones play but today I didn’t enjoy them.  The mother was looking at books and didn’t notice her children pushing people out of their way or tripping others.  Guess she is used to the noise and chaos they were causing.  I think my age was showing itself to me a bit today!

I went to Bobby D’s for lunch.  I enjoy their brisket without sauce or the bun.  It was nice to treat myself to lunch out.  I had a great waitress and it was nice to get waited on.

I filled the car up with gas on my way home.  Glad to see gas prices are below $3 a gallon.  It costs $40 to fill my car up at those prices.  Better than the $65 I paid mid-year last year.

Came home and cleaned out the chick’s pens.  I went down to the barn and brought up the second big dog crate and set it up.  I put the chicks that were in the nursery pen into the dog crate.  As I would catch a chick I would hand it to Kathy and she put them in the dog crate.  I had to try to keep the top covered as the chicks can fly out and over.  Had two fly out and over but managed to catch one easily.  The second one gave Kathy a run for her money but Kathy persisted and got the little bugger.

They will have more room in the dog crate than they did in the nursery.  I have more room to move in the furnace room with the big table down.  We had to wrap the crate with cardboard so the little buggers don’t squeeze themselves out.  I’ll keep the door closed in case they escape.

At one point I had to ask my dad for some help.  I needed to figure out how to attach the cardboard and hang the heat lamp.  He helped me remember zip ties.  I love those things.  I struggle to make them work right but finally remembered how to use them.  Dad always shows up for me when I have to figure something like that out.

The chicks seem happy in their new surroundings and quieted down a bit afterwards.  The other pen got fresh linens and clean watering containers.  I have two more weeks before I can move them outside.  I’ll need to get some more wood shavings next time I go to town as I will need to change them out at least one more time before I move them out.

Don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow or Wednesday.  Thursday I am meeting some friends for lunch in KC after I pick up my ring.  One of them I haven’t seen since Covid started so it will be good to catch up with her.  I need to go to Home Depot while I am in the city and get more deck paint so I can start that project next weekend.  It looks like Sunday will be a good day to paint.

I may go back to the library book sale tomorrow and get some more books.  I am sure I have enough to get me through until the next book sale this fall but it is hard to pass up $10 for a bag of books.  New books have gotten so expensive I would hate to run out and have to pay retail price for a book.

I need to vacuum the steps and clean up the wood shaving mess I made.  I tracked up the carpet on the steps running up and down getting things to get this project completed.  Maybe I will wait two more weeks as I’m sure I will track it up again going up and down to take care of the little buggers each day.  I usually go down to check on them several times a day.

It was interesting to watch myself react to the noise and chaos of the children at the library today.  I could feel my consciousness level dropping.  I could tell the mother wasn’t going to do anything so decided the best thing for me was to remove myself from the situation.  As I walked into the other side of the building I could feel my consciousness level start to rise again.

It felt good to recognize an external force that was effecting me and then be able to do something to take care of myself.  I knew I had plenty of books at home so it was no big deal to not get what I needed.  I could have come back after lunch if I felt I needed more books today.

There was a time when that little incident would have ruin my day.  Not today – I recognized it for what it was and took care of myself.  I am going to call that my win for the day.

Grateful the chicks are in a bigger pen, grateful the chicks have fresh linens, and grateful for progress on my healing journey.

I had a wonderful surprise today.  Jason and Cody came out and spent a couple of hours with me.  It was so fun to have them here for a bit.  Cody played with legos and Lincoln logs and watched a movie.  He told me the chicks are now big girls.

I haven’t gotten much done today.  I am working on doing my laundry but keep forgetting about it so it sits for a while.  I’ll get it done before the end of the day if I can manage to stay up that late.

I went to bed at 5:30 last night and slept hard until around 9:30.  I got up and then couldn’t go back to sleep until 4:00.  Slept in till 8:30 this morning.  Between the two sleeps I got enough sleep but it didn’t feel that way.

It was nice to stay home all day.  It was even nicer to have Jason and Cody come out.  The sun has came out off and on today but it has been chilly out.  I am so looking forward to warmer temperatures.  I hope we get a bit of spring once it warms up.  I’m afraid it will go directly to summer like temperatures.

Tomorrow I want to go to Emporia and shop the book sale at the library.  I didn’t get a chance to look for books when I worked the sale yesterday.  I need to get the cats and dogs their quarterly flea and tick medication while I am in town.  I will pick up a few groceries and then I won’t have to go back to town for several days.

Thursday or Friday I have to go back to KC to pick up the ring I am having made.  They had to order something so they could set the diamond in the ring I want it in.  It is to be ready Wednesday if the part comes in as expected.

I don’t have anything else on my calendar for this week.  I need to check with some friends and get something scheduled.  Too much free time is not good for me,

Felt a bit down and lonely last night.  I was grateful when I got up this morning I was back up the consciousness ladder.  Not sure why those feelings came up last night but I honored them and sat with them for a bit.  Maybe they just needed to be acknowledged and heard.

Life is interesting at times.  I think I have things figured out and then curve balls get thrown at me and things change.  Sometimes it takes me a bit to keep up with the changes.  I need to create a new picture in my head of what my future is going to look like.  I don’t have a clear sense of what it might be like right now.  I need to make some new dreams and hopes and do a mind shift of sorts.

Grateful Jason and Cody came to play with me today, grateful I was able to allow my feelings to be what they were and they sailed on through, and grateful for the unlimited potential of my future.

This has been a beautiful day on the prairie.  The temperature reached higher than forecast and the sun has been out to play most of the day.  The clouds are starting to roll in this afternoon and we have a chance of rain later today.  It was so nice to have a sunny day.

I went in to Emporia and volunteered at the Friends of the Library Book Sale today.  I only had to work two hours so it went fast.  We were nice and steady busy most of the time.  I got to do the cash table so got to sit most of the time. It was fun to watch families come in and the little children picking out books. Most of the adult books were only $2 or $3 each – what a bargain.  Monday and Tuesday you can get a whole bag of books for $10.  Wednesday a bag is only $5.  I need to go back to town Tuesday so will get a bag or two then.

I finally got a good night’s sleep last night.  I didn’t wake up much during the night which was wonderful.  If felt good to get lots of sleep.  I am tired this afternoon but thinking that is because I have been out of the house so much the last four days.  I get to stay home all day tomorrow and Monday so will have time to recharge and refill.

I don’t have much on my to-do list right now so have lots of empty space time.  When I come home from my Vegas trip I’ll get to start painting the deck as the weather should turn nice by then.  I hope to get it all painted before the heat of the summer hits.  It will be good to have a big project to do.  It has been a bit since I have had a project to work on.

I noticed at the book sale today I was having trouble with my short term memory.  Not sure if I wasn’t paying attention enough or what but I would tell a customer how much they owed and by the time I received their money and went to make change I forgot how much they owed.  Felt a bit slow on the mark today.  I don’t think I cheated anyone or the friends of the library group any money.  I am a visual person and I didn’t see the amount written down of the total owed so it didn’t stick in my brain.  Hopefully it isn’t a sign of something else going on.  I haven’t used my brain much lately to do math so maybe it is a bit rusty.

I need to do a bit of housecleaning tomorrow.  I haven’t done much cleaning lately and it is starting to show dirt.  I don’t have plans to have anyone over so it is hard to find the motivation to clean.  Maybe I need to invite some people over so I have a reason to clean.

I cleaned up my facebook group list.  I had joined a couple of support groups earlier this year but was not finding them helpful so I left them.  Reading the stories of other people being in the situation I had been seem to trigger me and not in a good way.  I am grateful I was able to get out of my situation rather quickly.  So many choose not to for whatever reason.  I tried to help a few out by commenting what had worked for me.  But reading others stories caused me to have flashbacks and then I would start ruminating and I didn’t want to do that.  The group had helped for a bit but it is time for me to move on.

As I learn more and more about setting boundaries I am learning what works for me and what doesn’t.  I am doing some editing of my life and discarding the things that I carried so I could help others.  I am opening up some space for new things to come in and in order to do that I need to discard things that no longer serve me well.  Time for me to reorganize my priorities in life.  My new mantra is “Honor Self and Honor Others”.  If what I do doesn’t honor myself, then I can’t continue doing it.  I can only honor others if I honor myself first.

I feel like I am getting to know myself in a new way.  Life is getting easier and freer for me as I realize how I have allowed others to “use” me and I have violated others boundaries by imposing myself on them.  I will continue to learn more about myself and how best to interact with others.  I’m sure I will make mistakes in this new journey for me but that is part of life too.  Sometimes I learn best by screwing up and trying again.

Grateful for the friends of the library book sale, grateful for empty space, and grateful for learning about boundaries.

Home again after being in KC all day.  We left this morning around 10:00.  First stop was to a jewelry store.  I had an old ring that I wanted the diamond from my wedding ring mounted on.  The store has to order a new base for it but they told me the ring will be ready to be picked up next Wednesday, although they will update me via email as to the exact date.  They made it easy for me and I’m impressed with their quick turnaround time.  I’m grateful I got that project started.

Next we met Nicole at Outback for lunch.  The food was delicious, the service was excellent and the conversation fun.  I was able to deliver Nicole’s carry on bag to her as well as her early birthday present,  I also delivered some bourbon that Tim and Michelle had picked up for her while they were in KY.

Kathy and I went to Costco so I could pick up a few things.  Kathy had never been in a Costco so we toured the store.  I forgot my cooler so only got non perishable goods.  When I go back to KC next week to pick up my ring I will try to remember my cooler and get the frozen stuff I need.

We made it to Warby Parker early for our eye examinations.  We both picked out new frames while we waited for our turn with the eye doctor.  I wasn’t impressed with the eye doctor.  The guy I had seen the last couple of times wasn’t there.  This guy spent more time looking up my past record than he did examining my eyes.

The guy that helped fill out our order was able to combine our order and give us the 15% discount for ordering more than one pair of glasses.  Each of our glasses cost $335.  We both got bifocal lenses as well as transition lenses and new frames.  I l Ike their prices.  They will mail us our glasses within two weeks.

We came home after we finished ordering our new glasses.  The drive home seemed to take a long time.  Not too much traffic once we got out of Gardner.  We drove through some light rain off and on – more off than on.  When we turned down V Rd it started to hail little bits of hail,  It didn’t last long.  I think we got 0.12 inch of rain.  Just enough to make it smell good outside but not enough to water the lawn,

The best part about being gone all day is getting home.  It is nice to sit in my corner chair and listen to the silence.

I got the car unloaded and things put away.  Took care of the chicks.  I put their watering containers inside a bowl and they managed not to knock them over.  One pen had filled the bottom of the container with wood shavings though.  The chicks have gone through 12 pounds of chick feed today.  They are growing fast and eating lots right now.

Tomorrow I work at the Emporia Friends of the Library Book Sale from 12:00 – 2:00.  It is the first day of the sale.  I haven’t worked the first day before so not sure how busy they will be.  I usually work bag days which will be next week.  I’ll go back in next Tuesday and get my semi-annual bag or two of books for $5 a bag.  Hoping I don’t find too many tomorrow that I will want and will have to pay asking price.  Still a bargain though as rarely is a book more than a couple dollars.  Certainly cheaper than buying a new book at the prices they are asking for those these days.

So far today I have been able to maintain my consciousness level at or above mid point.  I’m really tired this evening though and it wouldn’t take much for me to drain completely and fall down the ladder.  Thinking by the time I get home tomorrow afternoon from the book sale, I will be ready to stay home for several days.  Today is three days in a row that I have left the house.  Grateful I am not completely empty inside.

I didn’t sleep well again last night.  Not sure why I haven’t slept well this week.  If I don’t sleep well tonight I will take a full sleeping aid Saturday night and see if that pushes me into slumber land and keeps me there for a bit.  Last night I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep both.  Makes for a long night when that happens.

Next week I will go back to KC one day to pick up my ring but don’t have anything else on my calendar.  I might go to the library book sale to get some books and while I am in town will pick up some groceries.  Hoping the sun shines for part of the week.  I’m tired of cloudy skies with no rain to show for them.  It will be wonderful to have a quiet week at home.

Sometime next week I need to start making my packing list for my trip to Vegas in early April.  I’m looking forward to spending time with my daughters and seeing Vegas with them.  Hoping the weather will be nice while we are there and we can get some pool time and sunshine.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful for the time with Nicole today, and grateful for the discount on the price of my new glasses.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night.  I slept hard for three hours then was up and down the rest of the night.

I went to Emporia this morning for a 9:00 haircut.  After I got my haircut I went to Bluestem and got two bags of chick feed.  Then I went to Walmart and got supplies to make Chex Mix as my granddaughter Ellexia requested some.  I also picked up a prescription that was ready.

I made the Chex Mix this afternoon and need to take it to town later when the kiddos are home from school.  If I keep it in the house too long, I will eat too much of it.  I love it, especially when it is warm but my tummy will holler at me after I eat it.

I haven’t gotten much else done today except checking on the chicks a couple of times.  They seem to be behaving themselves today.  One pen tipped over their watering container again but I don’t think it had much water in it as the wood carvings don’t look too wet.  The big chicks are four weeks old today.  Two more weeks of them inside!

Tomorrow Kathy and I are meeting Nicole for lunch at noon.  Then we are going to Costco to pick up a few things.  Kathy and I both have eye doctor appointments at Warby Parker in the afternoon.  We both will order new glasses and then head for home.

I came home from town above mid-level on the consciousness ladder.  That was a win for the day.  The shopping went easy today and I found all I was looking for.  A haircut usually puts me in a good mood so that helped kick the shopping easier.  We will see what happens tomorrow when I spend the day in KC.

Got the bill for the new kitchen faucet and the installation of it and the booster pump.  I’m glad I was sitting down when I opened it.  Dang things are expensive these days.  So far they haven’t billed me for the new booster pump so hoping they were able to get it covered under warranty.  Grateful I can cross those two things off my pending list.

Still waiting on the guttering guys to come out and repair the front porch guttering that got hit by the moving truck when Jim moved out in December.  The owner of the business said he was waiting for the weather to get nice so he could call his guys back to work full-time.  Maybe in the next month or so they can get out here and get it repaired.

I haven’t heard from John Deere yet about when they are returning my riding mower.  I may stop and check on it when I go to town later today to take the Chex Mix in.  If they are done with it, I will need to pay for the service.  I need to take the push mower in to get it checked over.  The muffler on it had fallen off and I don’t think it ever got fixed.  I’ll have to find someone to take it to to get it ready for the mowing season.

The sun finally came out from under the clouds this afternoon.  It was windy this morning.  I had a 44.2 MPH wind gust.  The wind seems to have calmed down a bit too.  We have a chance for rain tomorrow.  Sure hope it comes and then pulls up a chair and stays awhile.  We could use a couple of inches to help fill the farm ponds.

We have a chance for light freeze next Monday and Tuesday nights.  Glad I didn’t move the chickens out when I wanted to.  Chicks don’t handle freezing temperatures very well.  Maybe next week’s freeze will be the last of winter.

The back pasture has seven black calves on it.  The owner of the pasture uses the calves for roping practice.  It is nice to see cattle back on the pasture.  There will be more coming later this spring.  I’m a bit surprised he put them out before he burns but it must have worked out that way for some reason.

Still sitting in a good place mentally and emotionally.  The trauma of the past seems to be falling away and my central nervous system seems to be calming down.  It does get triggered quickly and takes longer than I want it to for it to calm down again but progress is happening.  What a journey the last year has been for me.  So grateful to be on this side of it now.

Grateful for a haircut today, grateful for the sunshine this afternoon, and grateful for the progress on my healing journey.

Had a beautiful drive through the hills to go to Council Grove this morning.  I met a dear friend for lunch at Hays House.  I had grilled chicken with sautéed mushrooms and grilled zucchini that had a garlic/butter sauce.  It was delicious.  Service was great too.  Nice job Hays House!

My friend and I had a wonderful, deep conversation.  I love friends that you can go deep with and share your vulnerabilities with.

Stopped by Grove Gardens and got a flat of strawberries.  They are succulent and juicy.  I love strawberries that taste like strawberries and sometimes they are hard to find.  I will need to share some though as a flat is more than I can eat.

Came home and found out Kathy had cleaned out the big chicken coop today.  Bless her heart!  Now it is ready for the chicks to move into when they are big enough.

I cleaned out one pen of the chicks this morning.  One pen keeps bumping their water container over and the wood shavings get wet and then start smelling.  I need to clean the other pen out tomorrow.  The little buggers are getting harder to catch as they grow up.  Two or three weeks to go before I can move them outside.

Have a bit of an upset tummy this afternoon.  I keep wanting to eat something to get rid of the garlic taste but not sure what will do the trick.  My tummy is saying not so fast on the eating.  I’m sure it will settle down soon.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia in the morning and get my hair cut.  I also need to stop and pick up a prescription while I am in town.  I don’t think I need any groceries so will make a quick trip of it.

Friday Kathy and I are meeting Nicole for lunch then are going to Warby Parker for eye exams and to order new glasses.  We both needed an eye exam so will get that taken care of.  I have two things to take to Nicole so it will give me a chance to get that taken care of.  I’ll stop at Costco and pick up a few things since I am in the big city.  I don’t have a very long list this time but always seem to find things I need that are not on my list when I go to Costco.  If I thought the weather was going to turn and be nice I would pick up deck paint but the forecast doesn’t look promising enough for that yet.

It has been an absolutely beautiful spring-like day on the prairie.  The wind wasn’t even a factor today which is a rare.  The temperature reached the mid 70’s.  Sure wish it would stay this way for several days but the forecast for tomorrow is highs in the mid 50’s.  Dang I am ready for spring to get here and stay.

Still sitting in a good place this afternoon.  I am tired as I didn’t sleep very well last night but have been able to maintain at or slightly above the mid-point on the consciousness ladder.  I’m always grateful when I get out and about and am able to maintain that level.  Somedays I can and somedays I can’t.

Did some knitting on a blanket last night while I was watching the last session of Madam Secretary.  Have lots more to knit before it is done but feels good to be knitting a bit.  I need to get some yarn used up or else I need to give it away.

Grateful for friends that share their life’s journey with me, grateful the chicken coop is cleaned out, and grateful for this taste of spring day.

We had a beautiful Spring Equinox Ceremony last night.  Six of us gathered and welcomed spring to the prairie.  We each planted our intentions for the coming months.  It is so delightful to have a group of friends where one can be vulnerable and sit with them as each share.  I’m so blessed to have each of them in my life.

I haven’t done much today.  I got to stay home all day today.  I have something on my calendar for the next four days and needed a day at home to prepare myself for the busy days ahead.  I usually don’t leave the house that many days in a row.  I may be wiped out by Saturday afternoon.

I was surprised that I wasn’t wiped out this morning.  Usually being around a group drains me but that didn’t happen this time.  Probably because we took some time at the beginning of the ceremony to ground ourselves and set the intention that we would remain grounded throughout.  I need to remember to that more often.

I think my central nervous system is finally calming down.  I was stuck in Fight or Flight for so long that it was working overtime to keep me safe.  I realized last night that I finally felt like “me” again for the first time in a long, long time.

The chicks are doing well.  I have tended to them a couple times today and nothing was amiss.  They seem to like having the extra space and are behaving themselves.  The littlest ones are three weeks old today.  Three more weeks before I can move them outside.

It is nice to go into the furnace room and not have water on the floor.  Grateful the booster pump got replaced and the source of the water leak fixed.

I still need to get down and clean out the chicken coop.  It was too cold to do so again today.  We only reached the mid 40’s today.  It is to be 75 tomorrow but I will believe it when I see it.  I am meeting someone for lunch tomorrow but maybe when I get home it will be warm and I can get the coop cleaned out.

I am meeting a friend in Council Grove tomorrow.  I happened to notice the Grove Gardens has fresh strawberries for sale.  I may stop and get a case and make some jam, etc.  If nothing else, I will freeze them.  I love strawberries and like to keep them on hand.  I won’t eat the jam but betting I can find someone that would like it.  Sounds like it will be a beautiful day to go for a drive to Council Grove.

Sitting in a peaceful place this afternoon.  I had a rough part of the day yesterday but I am pleased with how quickly I recovered.  It still feels like my soul box is filled with cotton puffs and not something more solid.  I deplete quickly at times.  It does feel today like something shifted in me last night and the cotton puffs feel a bit more solid today.  I’ll see how I do this week with four days of events to attend.

I’m so grateful I have lots of empty space to process my feelings and allow myself this time to heal.  I am starting to feel a bit restless and like I need to find a project to do.  Maybe when I come back from Vegas in two weeks I will be ready to tackle something more.  I need to get back to my death doula work and contact some people and tie up some loose ends from that.  Before that felt too big to take on but it feels possible today.

I do have the deck painting project in front of me this spring when it finally warms up and stays warm.  That will keep me busy for several weeks.  I plan on organizing a painting party one weekend and will get some help to do part of it.  It shouldn’t be too much longer before I can start painting.

Grateful for my tribe, grateful for my healing journey progress, and grateful for a quiet day on the prairie.

 

Happy Spring Equinox!  One of two days of the year where there is an equal amount of light and darkness.  It is a time to plant your intentions for the upcoming year.  What is it within you that you want more of?  What gifts do you have that you share with the world?

I texted the plumber this morning to inform him that I needed a new hand sink kitchen faucet when they come out to replace the booster pump.  I again asked him if they had found a booster pump.

He let me know they would find a faucet but didn’t know anything about the booster pump yet.  30 minutes later he texted they were on their way out with both!  Yay!

They showed up and looked at the booster pump.  The sales rep they dealt with told them some new instructions for installation of it and they had to go back to town to get parts.

They came back and got the new booster pump hooked up and running.  They then came upstairs and replaced the faucet.  Good thing they came when they did as they discovered the faucet was starting to leak under the sink.

I am grateful that both of those projects got crossed off my pending list.  Not sure I want to see the bill when it comes in a few days but I will deal with that when it comes.

Now I can clean up the floor in the furnace room and it will stay dry.  I have been tracking chicken wood carvings all over the house as the floor has been wet and icky.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to get a nut to fix the chick feeder.  I had trouble finding a helper at Bluestem.  Finally did but found out Bluestem didn’t carry the size of nut I needed.  They had one size too small and one size too big.  Ended up having to buy a whole new feeder.  That was an expensive nut!

Went to Walmart to get some flowers for tonight’s Spring Equinox celebration. They were out of fresh flowers and didn’t have any good looking small plants.  Got one thing and then left.

I went to Water’s Hardware and found what I needed.  I came home cranky.  May take a short nap so I will be ready for tonight’s ceremony.

I definitely did not hold my consciousness level above the mid-point in town today.  I got frustrated trying to find someone to help me at Bluestem.  Then frustrated again when Walmart was out of fresh flowers.   I hate driving to town in vain.

After I get done blogging I need to go down and clean the furnace room floor.  It will be a pain to do so as that room is crowded with the two chick pens and not much room to move in.  There are two extension cords in the way and lots of spilled wood carvings and feed on the floor.  Yuck!

The wind is in a big hurry today.  The highest wind gust on the prairie so far has been 44.8 MPH but it sounds and feels like it is higher than that.  It doesn’t seem to slow down much at all.  This is one of those days where the sound of the wind could drive me over the edge of the cliff.

Just wrote a whole paragraph that disappeared on my iPad.  I hit some key somewhere on my keyboard and it causes that to happen.  Wish I knew what I was hitting so it wouldn’t hit it again.

Trying to figure out why I feel so out of balance this afternoon.  Have a feeling the birthday party yesterday drained me and I went to town too empty.  Next time I go to town I need to remember to check my energy level and see if my tank is full or not.

I’m grateful our Spring Equinox celebration is tonight as that will help me restore my balance and grounding.  I don’t think I have to leave the house tomorrow so that will be a good day to build my reserves back up.  I have somewhere to be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Yikes!  I’m not usually that busy.  Next week will be a quieter week thank heavens.

Grateful the booster pump and kitchen faucet have been replaced, grateful the Spring Equinox celebration is tonight, and grateful I found some flowers at the Hardware store.