Starry night on the prairie

I took the dogs for their walks this morning. Sophia and I walked downtown and back. She did her business and did well on the walk. Met some people on the street that loved on her for a bit. She soaks that right up.

Took Roxy next. We went downtown too. She was more interested in chasing squirrels than walking though. We were about a block from home and two dogs came charging after her. I was walking her in the street. I yelled HELP a couple of times and a lady comes and gets her dogs. I thank her and she says yeah.

This is the second time those dogs have come after us. They growl and my dog growls back. It scares me as I’m not sure what to do if the dogs start fighting. I could easily get hurt in the dog fight. I need to decide if I want to report her or not. Cottonwood Falls has a leash law and she could get a ticket. But if I don’t report her and it happens again for the third time and someone gets hurt that would be on me.

Took a quiet morning and didn’t do much. It has been a low energy type of day for me. I did get the chocolate covered peanut butter balls made for Tuesday. Have several more desserts to make tomorrow. Trusting I will have more energy then. They will get made even if I don’t’ but it would be more fun if I have energy.

Need to do some house cleaning but that hasn’t capture my interest yet. It seems to patiently wait for me to get to it. It will get done when it gets done. No one is coming over so there is no rush to get to it.

We missed most of the storms last night. The wind blew hard for a short bit and we got some rain but not much. Areas around got lots of rain and some wind damage. We seem to miss most of the storms. Have a chance for more rain tonight.

Not sure if what rain we did get will prevent the tree guy from coming this week or not. I bet he gets busy when storms come through. Limbs on a vehicle or house are much more urgent than cleaning out my tree line. He will get to it when he can.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia at 2:00 for exercise. I may try to get some paint for the living room while I am in town if the paint store is open. Can’t remember what will be closed for Memorial Day. I will also get several more desserts made for Tuesday.

Tuesday is Aunt Glenda’s service and lunch. It is always good to see family – just wish we would gather when it wasn’t a funeral.

Wednesday and Friday I have exercise in Emporia. Thursday I have to go to Emporia in the morning for a doctor’s appointment. I won’t get a day at home again until next Saturday and Sunday.

Friday June 7 the kids are hosting a Beer Friday for Craig at the American Legion in Emporia from 6:00 – 8:00. Come have a beer on Craig and help us celebrate the many wonderful things he did in his lifetime.

Other than exercise and Tuesday I have lots of empty space again on my calendar this week. It is doing me good to sit in this empty space and allow it to refill my soul. I had forgotten how to slow down and be. I will someday soon pick up something new to fill my time but am allowing myself not to rush into anything right now. I still have lots of grief to process and allow to rise to the surface of my awareness. Three deaths in one month has drained me completely. It will take time to refill and adjust to life without some precious loved ones.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful the peanut butter balls are made, and grateful for a beautiful spring day after the storms last night.

Kathy and I decided to do our cemetery drive this morning. There is a possibility of a storm this evening so wanted to be home before that happened. We each took a dog for a walk and then we loaded up and left.

We stopped at the Dollar General store in Cottonwood Falls for flowers but they didn’t have any left. Decided to go to Marion and take a chance there instead of driving all the way to Emporia and back again.

I stopped at the gas station on Highway 50 to fill the car with gas but the card reader wasn’t working and I didn’t want to go inside.

I drove us to Marion and found the Dollar General store there. Kathy has an eagle eye and spotted some artificial flowers up on a top shelf when we first walked in the store. Grateful she did as they only had one flower where they belonged. I pulled down the boxes Kathy spotted and found 15 of them. I also needed two big bottles of Diet Coke for Tuesday so got those.

The clerk that checked us out was busy but she worked quickly and we got through the long line. She scanned a coupon of some sorts for us that gave us $5 off my order. That was nice.

We then stopped at a gas station in Marion and I filled the car up. I avoided the Casey’s in both Cottonwood Falls and Marion as last time I filled up at Casey’s they put a $150 hold on my checking account that stayed there for several days. That was in addition to the $45 worth of gas I had purchased. I don’t like when a company does that so unless I have no other option, I will no longer buy gas at Casey’s.

We went to the Hillsboro cemetery, then we went to Florence and came home via the Chase County Fishing Lake road and stopped at the Cottonwood Falls cemetery. We left 15 flowers today.

Came home and then we walked up to the old grade school building. They are having a car show and other things going on today. We did a quick tour of the going’s on and then came back home. I had taken some cash in case I wanted to get a hot dog but then decided to take my sweater off before we walked. I had put the cash in my sweater pocket and neither one of us had any cash on us. I ate a quick lunch when we got back home and then laid down and took a nap.

Found out the family reunion that is held annually is still on for Monday. I had forgotten about it and hadn’t heard for sure if it was a go this year. Don’t know if I will go or not. We have my aunt’s funeral Tuesday and most of the people that will go on Monday will go on Tuesday. Not sure I have it in me to go two days in a row. The lunch is at 12:30 and I have to be in Emporia Monday at 2:00 for exercise. I guess I could use that as my excuse to slip out early. Not sure it makes sense to only go for an hour though. I won’t be able to eat as I can’t eat before exercise. We shall see what I decide to do.

I still need to do some house cleaning today. Tomorrow I want to start making some of the desserts I am taking Tuesday. When Uncle Jack died a year ago I took some chocolate covered peanut butter balls that everyone liked so thought I would make those again this time. I can make them a day or two in advance and they stay good. Most of the other stuff I will make on Monday.

I think I am going to paint the dining room and living room this week. After Tuesday I have a fairly free week ahead of me and have plenty of time to get it done. The rooms aren’t very big and the thing that will take the most time is moving things out of the way to paint. If I remember, I will stop and pick up some paint when I am in town Monday if the stores are open. If they aren’t open, I will get it Wednesday when I go in for exercise.

Looks like the storm should be here late evening tonight. We are in a heightened tornado possibility for the evening. We have bright blue skies now so hard to think that in six to eight hours we could be getting severe stuff rolling in. Maybe we will get lucky again and it will go around us again. We could use more rain but sure trust we don’t get the hail and tornadoes with it.

Tonight is the alumni banquet in Hartford. I’m not up to going and I think Kathy has decided not to go too. With the bad weather coming in, it doesn’t make sense to get out in it to go. Sitting and having small talk with people I am not great friends with sounds painful to me. Yes, I knew these people over 50 years ago but things have changed and I don’t really know them now. I hate small talk and the setting is a large crowd where it is hard to go deep with anyone. Just not my bag!

It was a beautiful day for a drive through the Flint Hills today. The hills are a brilliant shade of green and lots of wild flowers blooming as a result of the rain we have gotten this month. Felt good to see wide open spaces away from the trees today. We were one of the first to visit the graves this year. It always brings back a lot of memories for us when we go. I wonder who will visit the graves after Kathy and I are gone?

Grateful for the memories of loved ones from the other side today, grateful for lazy afternoon naps, and grateful for another beautiful day on the prairie today.

I can now publicly say that my Aunt Glenda passed away Thursday morning. We wanted to wait to make sure all family were notified before anything was posted on-line. Aunt Glenda was my mother’s sister. There were four girls in that family and Aunt Marylyn is the last one now.

Aunt Glenda has always been an important person in my life. I remember as a child going to spend time with her during the summer. She would always make doll clothes for me – she even trimmed them with rick rack and pretty buttons. She made time at her house a magical time for me.

When I was a single mother with Jason, I had to go to Chicago for training for two weeks, Aunt Glenda babysat Jason for me. She spoiled him and made the time with her magical for him too.

I think I always knew I was loved by her – as did the rest of the family. Family meant everything to Aunt Glenda and she mothered all of us. I will miss her wisdom and guidance. She was 90 years old and lived a very full and rich life. We will all carry her in our hearts forever. Her services are going to be Tuesday at 11:00 at the Methodist Church in Marion. Burial will be in Florence immediately after her memorial service and then there will be a lunch at the lake house at the Marion Lake following the burial.

I went to Emporia mid afternoon for exercise. I did my 48 minutes of seated yoga and then went to Walmart for groceries. I had a rather long list of things to get this time so it took me a bit to gather them all up. Finally got everything and got out of there. Just as I was about to check out I got a text that my thyroid prescription medication was ready so I was able to get that today. Saved me a trip into Walmart later.

Got everything carried in and unpacked when I got home. I am fixing desserts for the funeral luncheon Tuesday so will have fun in the kitchen this weekend fixing things. It will be my first time making desserts in this kitchen so hoping it will go well.

No plans for the weekend. Kathy and I will do the cemetery run sometime this weekend but not sure yet when we are going. It is to be stormy tomorrow so will do our best to avoid the storm. We need to go to cemeteries in Florence, Hillsboro and Cottonwood Falls. It takes us about two to three hours to hit all 15 graves that we decorate.

I forgot to do my exercises yesterday so will try to remember to do them tomorrow. They only take about 16 minutes so don’t take much time – just need to remember to do them.

I need to clean house sometime this weekend. The floors need hand scrubbed. It doesn’t seem overwhelming to think about cleaning this house. I can almost do the whole house in the time it took me to do two or three rooms at the country house. I will probably also need to mow sometime this weekend. With the bit of rain we have gotten, the grass is growing fast.

I got a detailed medical form I had to fill out for the plant medicine retreat I am going to in July. They sometimes have limitations on who can participate in the retreat. Trusting all will be clear for me to go as I have already paid for the retreat and booked the flights. I got that filled out and returned today. I had to do it on my phone so it took a bit to get it all filled out. I find typing on my phone to be a bit of a burden but I got it done.

Next week looks fairly quiet. I will have exercise three days, the funeral on Tuesday and I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday. I won’t get a stay at home day all week. Good thing I will get at least one this weekend.

Sitting in a good head space today. I am able to hold myself above the neutral level which is always my goal for the day. I noticed today I didn’t come home from town drained like I have been lately so maybe I am starting to be able to hold my light when I am out and about. Thinking it wouldn’t take very long to drain but good to know I can go shopping for a bit and hold my own.

Grateful for the love and life of Aunt Glenda, grateful for a quiet weekend at home, and grateful for this beautiful spring day.

Another night of very little sleep. I don’t think I fell asleep until around 5:30 this morning. I got a phone call at 7:00 so it was a short night of sleep. I did take a short morning nap of about 45 minutes before I went to Topeka.

The guy from yesterday dropped off the bill for the work he did in the yard hauling in gravel and cleaning out the old shop and picking up rocks from the yard. The bill was about what I expected it to be.

I went to Topeka for my Endocrinologist appointment. This time I saw the Nurse Practitioner instead of the doctor. It was almost a waste of time to go but that box is marked off for another six months. I needed a refill of my prescription for thyroid medication and she did that so I guess I accomplished something.

Came home afterwards as I didn’t have anything else I needed to do in Topeka. Tried to take another short nap but didn’t have any luck. I had to be in Emporia for a meeting at 5:30. Got out of the meeting at 7:00 and came home. This was a final meeting of the year for taxes. Not sure it was worth going to town for but check that one off my list too.

I need to take the dogs on another walk for the evening so they will get tired and settle in for the night. They have been a bit restless today and have wanted to go out and chase squirrels all day. When I walked them this morning they both did their business.

It is starting to thunder so may have some weather coming in. We are to get some severe stuff on Saturday. Hoping we get rain but not the wind and hail. Kathy and I may go decorate graves tomorrow afternoon and get that done so we aren’t out in the weather on Saturday. We shall see how the day goes tomorrow. Kathy has to work in the morning and I have exercise tomorrow at 2:00.

I got the paperwork I had mailed to Social Security back today. I had to sign for it. Grateful I decided to mail it as it sped things up by three weeks. Grateful the papers were returned safely.

Hoping to have a quiet holiday weekend at home. So far I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend after I finish exercise tomorrow. I’m not sure if I will have exercise on Monday or not. It may get changed to a different day due to the holiday. Looking forward to a couple days at home with nothing pressing to get done.

The tree guy didn’t come today and I haven’t heard from him. Not sure what is going on with him. It may have been too wet yet for him to get his truck in the back yard. Wish he would let me know his plans. Guess it really doesn’t matter as long as he gets the job done – sooner or later.

Haven’t heard from my high school kid that is to help me get the dog kennel here from Emporia and then help me set it up. I am on a list to have a permanent fence built later this summer. That might happen before the kennel gets here at this rate.

My accountant was to have gotten back to me on the amount of estimated tax payments I need to make. I did get an email from her today so I know she is working on it. I am curious what she estimates my additional tax liability will be due to a couple of things going on different this year. I have till June to have to make the first estimate so still have next week to get what I need from her.

Sitting in a good head space tonight, although I am very tired. I have a family situation going on again this week that is in the background. Things tend to come in groups for three so hoping this will be the last one for a bit. We have had our share this month!

Still adjusting to empty space. I have to keep reminding myself to relax into it and give myself permission to allow it to be. I have been so busy the last couple of months that the empty space fills uncomfortable right now. It is allowing me to catch up to myself though and I am starting to slow down a bit. I noticed today my mind was not racing like it has been the last couple of months. Ahhhh…. Funny how stepping out of empty space makes one forget to slow down and breathe and allow that to be the purpose of the day. It is good to be back into having empty space.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka today, grateful the paperwork I had sent to Social Security arrived back home safely , and grateful for empty space that is allowing me to slow down.

I have had a lazy feeling day today. My get up and go got up and left the body without me. I had to take a nap this afternoon even though I actually slept last night. The more sleep I give my body, the more it wants.

I walked the dogs this morning one by one. When I got home with Roxy after having walked Sophia, the guys showed up to work on the back yard. I think there were three high school/college aged guys and then the man that I contracted to do the work. They quickly cleaned out the old shop and filled a dump trailer with stuff from it.

They left to dump it and then they were going to fill their dump trailer with gravel and return. I had to go to Emporia for exercise before they returned.

I stopped at my Chiropractor and got my weekly adjustment and then went to exercise. I could have fallen asleep during exercise today. We did gentle chair yoga stretches and it was relaxing. I barely could stay awake to drive home afterwards though. I needed to stop and pick up a few groceries but I wanted to get home in case the guy and crew needed something. I will get them Friday when I go to town again.

The guys had returned and filled in between the new shed and the old foundation with gravel. They were working on removing piles of rocks and cinder blocks from the back fence line.

I talked to the guy in charge and then took a nap. By the time I woke up they were done and gone. The yard looks so much better. They did leave a big pile of dirt though that I wished they had flattened but he may be coming back to do that. I didn’t get to talk to him when he was done. I have a much bigger yard to mow now that the obstacle course of rocks has been removed. The gravel around the shed looks nice too.

The tree guy didn’t come today but not sure there would have been room for him to work with the other crew here today. The tree guy has a very heavy truck so it needs to be good and dry for him to do his thing without leaving a deep tire trail through the yard.

The guy from today is to bring me an invoice tomorrow. Not sure how much that will be but whatever it is will be worth it. Most of the stuff the guys lifted today was much too heavy for me to lift and I didn’t have anything to put it in to make it go away anyways. Sure feels good to have that big project taken care of.

What an absolutely beautiful day it has been today. The temperature has only reached the mid 70’s, little to no wind and bright blue skies. I turned off the A/C and have let the sounds of the birds chirping back in the house. Sure would like more of days like today in KS.

Tomorrow I have to go to Topeka to the Endocrinologist. My appointment is at 2:00 so will have to leave around 12:30. I have a dinner to go to in Emporia at 5:30. Not sure I want to make two trips to town to go to the dinner so we shall see what I do. I might skip the dinner.

I was going to try to rent a U-Haul tomorrow morning and get Tagen to help me get a dog kennel but that seems to much to me since I have to leave for Topeka at 12:30. I will do that another day soon. I sure wish I could let the dogs outside for most of the day when it is as nice as today is. Last time I rented a U-Haul it took almost an hour to do the paperwork and I don’t want to stress out tomorrow about time.

Saturday is the Alumni Banquet dinner in Hartford. Kathy is thinking about going but I am not going. Just not my thing. I don’t have any holiday weekend plans so will probably stay home. Sometime Kathy and I will take a drive and put flowers out at cemeteries around here for our ancestors. We have 15 graves we decorate when we do our little trip.

Next week is looking empty for the most part. I will have exercise in town three times and I have a doctor’s appointment Thursday with my regular doctor to have him check out my hips. Not sure he can do anything but they are starting to limit how long I can walk each day and want something done about that if possible.

It is nice to have lots of empty space ahead of me. One of the reasons I made this big move was to create more empty space in my life. It is nice not to have the responsibility of that big house and property to care for. This house and lots feel much more manageable.

Think I will spend the evening reading and sitting on the front porch enjoying this beautiful weather. I will need to take the dogs on another long walk but other than that have nothing I have to do today. It feels so good to be able to take do nothing days and relax into the empty space that has been created.

Grateful for strong kids and their willingness to take on hard, heavy jobs, grateful to adults that work with young kids and do hard, heavy jobs, and grateful for an evening of empty space.

This has been a day full of empty space. I am doing my best to relax into it and allow it to refill my soul. I feel something opening within that hasn’t been open or a long time. Ahhh……

I was surprised by a phone call from Social Security today. They had received my paperwork and the lady said she had a free moment and called ahead of schedule. I am good to go with divorced spouse benefits. They will be sending me a makeup check for April and then starting next month will receive the new higher monthly amount.

The lady that called was very capable and easy to talk to. The call only took about five minutes and things got taken care of. That was easy!

What a blessing this will be for me. I have struggled to make ends meet with what I had been getting from Social Security. I do my best to live off of that and not touch my savings but haven’t been successful at that this last year or so. I could cover my regular monthly bills but any extra stuff that happened had to come out of savings. Grateful for an ease in stress for my financial situation.

Tomorrow the gravel is to be delivered for the shed and the yard clean up project is to get underway. Not sure when the tree guy is coming. He thought he would make it out sometime this week. He may have gotten some emergency calls due to the storm Sunday night. What he is doing for me isn’t urgent so it can wait if someone had a tree over their house or car.

I may rent a U-Haul Thursday and have my grandson help me get some dog fencing here from Emporia. My high school kid has gotten busy doing farm work and that is much more urgent than what I need him to do. I have to go to Topeka Thursday afternoon but I think we would have time to get it done Thursday morning. Sure would be nice to be able to put the dogs outside during the day. I have to bring them in at night or else they will bark all night. Not sure my neighbors would appreciate that.

Sophia and I walked down to the city office building today to deliver the application for a permit so I can have the old shop go away. I didn’t ask when the next council meeting is that will approve the permit. I haven’t heard when the shop might go away so trusting the timing of all of this works.

I broke down and turned on the A/C today. I have had trouble sleeping the last couple of nights and am hoping the cooler bedroom will help with that. Kathy doesn’t like A/C so I told her if she wanted her bedroom window open, she could keep her bedroom door closed. I needed to cool down a bit. I do feel better this afternoon since I am not dripping in sweat.

It is to possibly storm again this evening and then it is to cool down for the next week or so. I may end up turning off the A/C again if it cools down. I do enjoy fresh air blowing in but when it gets above 80 in the house, that is too hot for me. I don’t handle heat well.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia at noon for exercise. I need a few things from Walmart so will stop and get those things while I am in town. I may do a pickup order if I remember to do so. That always saves me money as I don’t buy impulsively that way.

I need to start thinking of things to do on days I don’t have to go to Emporia for exercise. All of a sudden I have lots of empty space and I want to be intentional about how I start to fill it up. Meeting with friends and family is at the top of my list of things to do. I do better in many ways when I take time to do that on a regular basis.

I called the KU Research Exercise program today and got my 26 week test scheduled for August. I have to repeat the cognitive three hour test. At the end of the program I will repeat it one more time in addition to repeating the physical test and MRI and blood work. Hard to think I will be half way through the first week of August.

Still haven’t heard back from my builder. I met with him the middle of April and he was to get back to me in two to three weeks with the cost estimates. I think I will sit on this for a bit and wait for him to contact me. I am comfortable in this house and thinking about starting the building project seems too big to me right now. It will happen when the timing is right.

Sitting in a good head space today. Things seem to be falling into place for me without effort. I love when that happens. The more I notice it and am grateful for it happening, the more it seems to happen. I have been in this house for three weeks now and am very pleased with how quickly things have gotten taken care of.

Grateful for the surprise phone call from Social Security today, grateful for divorced spouse benefits, and grateful for things happening without effort around me.

We got lucky and didn’t have any wind damage from the storms that rolled through here last night. Jason has some big limbs down at his house in Emporia. Sounds like others around had damage too.

I contacted a guy that hauls gravel and hauls things away. He stopped by this morning and is going to bring lots of gravel to put around the shed on Wednesday. He is bringing some strong high school/college kids to help put it in place. They are then going to clean up my yard and the old shop. It may take them all day Wednesday to get it all cleaned up and make it all go away. So grateful they will do that job for me.

I also got the name of a tree trimmer. He came by today to check out my back fence line. He is going to work on it this week and clear it out. He kept asking me if this tree or that tree should go. I finally told him to use his best judgment and clean it out as if it was his property. He smiled and said I can do that. Yay!

Since the guys are going to clean out the old shop, Kathy and I needed to get the stuff we had put in there out of there and put in the new shed. The shed was full so we had to spend the morning reorganizing the shed. I took most everything out of it and then put things back in. Kathy brought the stuff from the shop so we knew what we had to put in the shed.

I have to get rid of some things as it all won’t fit. I found someone that will take eight extra folding chairs I had. I still have a small shop vac that needs a new home. Anyone need one? The rest of the stuff I didn’t want I put in the old shop and the guys will make it all go away Wednesday. I‘m too tired to try to use Marketplace.

I would work for a bit and then have to take a break. I kept working up a really good sweat and was dripping wet at times. I don’t do well in the heat and today the humidity was very high and it was warm. Grateful for Kathy’s help.

It feels so good to get three jobs taken care of. I was surprised both guys could do the job this week. I figured I would get on a list and they would get to me sometime sooner or later. I didn’t have either one of them give me a bid as both jobs have some unpredictable things going on with them. I trust both of the contractors and trust they will be fair with me.

My high school guy was to have met me today at Tractor Supply at 3:00 to get the dog kennel but he didn’t show up or get back in touch with me. May have to find someone else to do that job. I’m hoping that the high school kids that come Wednesday are hard workers and I can get the names and numbers of them so I can call on them for other jobs in the future.

I went to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. Today we did gentle seated yoga which was perfect for me today. I felt like I got a much better workout reorganizing the shed before I went to exercise.

I stopped at City Hall and got tags for my two dogs and one cat. They are only $1 each since all three have been fixed. I also picked up the permit application so the old shop can be demolished. It can take a couple weeks to get approval for the permit so thought I better get that started so when the guy is ready to make the shop go away I have the permit in hand.

Wow! I got lots of things done today with the help of two contractors. My to-do pending list is getting shorter by the day. If I can only find someone to haul a dog kennel for me and help set it up I will be good to go for a bit. Things are falling into place for me and I am grateful.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow so am hoping I can get a stay at home day. I don’t have anything left on my to-do list so I may get to take a lazy day at home. That will be a nice change. It feels freeing to not have anything on my to-do list.

Life is slowing down for me right now. Things feel manageable and easy right now. This is why I made the big move to allow space for that to happen for me. Simplifying my life feels so right to me right now. I am looking forward to seeing what opens up as a result.

Grateful for Kathy’s help reorganizing the shed today, grateful for two contractors that are going above and beyond to help me out today, and grateful for a simpler life style.

Went out this morning first thing and finished painting the shed. Kathy had to come help me do the peak of the shed in the front of it. It has a ramp where I needed to put the ladder. Kathy is four inches taller than I am and could reach the peak. Good to have her help and good to have that job done.

I also hung the last of the pictures. Yay! I put away all the tools I had sitting around waiting for me to get that job done. Nice to be able to cross two big things off my to-do list today.

The only thing I have left to do as far as moving in, is reorganize the shed. I need to pull most everything out and put it back in better organized. It is too hot to do that job today. I also need some muscle to move two storage racks that are too heavy for me to move. They got put in the wrong place on moving day.

The only urgent thing about reorganizing the shed is getting the stuff out of the old shop and into the shed before the guys come to tear down the old shop. I’m not sure when they are coming and I’m not sure they will give me much notice when they do come. I don’t have room in the shed right now for the stuff that is in the old shop but am hoping once I get the shed better organized it will all fit. What doesn’t fit will have to go away.

I still have several projects I need done but am waiting on someone else to be able to cross those things off my list. I need gravel put around the shed and the old foundation that surrounds it. I need a dog pen or fence of some sort set up in the yard so the dogs can go out and stay outside by themselves. I have lots of bricks and other stuff that needs hauled off. I need the back fence line cleaned out and trees cut down. The big brush pile needs burned and then cleaned up afterwards. None of those projects are things I am willing to tackle and I need to find someone to do them.

I am sitting in empty space this afternoon since I completed my to-do list. It feels both heavenly and scary. It will allow me to pick up something new and I am not sure what that will look like or be yet. Life does feel simpler and easier for me. I have lots of options and choices I can choose from. Right now, sitting in empty space and breathing is what I am choosing to do. The last couple of months have been full of chaos and change and it is going to take me a bit of time to settle completely in. Time to slow things down and find a new rhythm and way of being.

I have a relatively quiet week ahead. I do have to go to Topeka for a doctor’s appointment on Thursday and I will go to Emporia three times for exercise. I also have a dinner to go to Thursday evening if I get back from Topeka on time. I am grateful I have a quiet week ahead so I can continue to settle completely in and slow things down.

Grateful for Kathy’s help getting the shed painted, grateful all the pictures are hung, and grateful for empty space.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. Finally feel asleep around 4:30 this morning. Dang! This is getting old and exhausting.

I went out last night and started painting the new shed. Got it about 1/3 done last night. Went out this morning and painted some more. It is about 3/4 done now. Went out this afternoon and did some ladder work on it but it was too hot to stay out for long. I will try to get out in the morning and finish it up. Shouldn’t take more than an hour.

I took a nap this afternoon. I feel hungover and cranky this afternoon. My mind went down a rabbit hole and I am having trouble pulling myself out of it. I have a situation with someone and I don’t know what to do about it. They have crossed my boundaries once too often and I need to give myself a time-out from them for a bit. The timing sucks but it is what it is. Sometimes I have to step up and take care of myself first.

I think the unsettled feelings I am having is because this feels new and weird to me to set my boundaries. I am in that in-between stage where I have no idea of how this is going to go. All I can do is take care of myself and keep telling myself their reaction is their issue and I am not responsible for it. Man! This is hard sometimes.

My neighbor is cutting down a big row of bushes between his property line and mine. We decided last night that a short privacy fence would look better. The bushes are overgrown and not very pretty. He has them about half way done. Since this is on the property line, he is doing the labor and I will pay for materials.

I have a big burn pile in my backyard from limbs that had fallen during storms over the last year or so. He is adding the brush to it and then will supervise burning it. Since the pile is so big, he has to notify the authorities and get their permission to burn it. He did that when I first bought this property. Sure will save him a lot of time and energy not to have to haul the bushes off in his pickup.

I don’t like the look of the big pile of limbs, etc in the yard but will tolerate it for a bit. Hoping it doesn’t get too dry too fast and we won’t be able to burn it quickly. Not sure I want that pile in my yard all summer.

Nothing on the calendar for tomorrow. It has been nice to get to stay home all day today and do whatever I want to do, even if that is nothing. It did feel good to get out and paint and do some physical labor. I have all this angst and needed to work some of it out. It will be good to get something crossed off my to-do list this weekend.

It feels weird to have lots of empty space again. It has been a long time since that has opened for me. Not sure what to do with it. I find myself procrastinating on doing things on my to-do list as I am not sure what I will do when that list is empty. Guess I should work my way through it and see what happens. When I anticipate things, I make them into something they are not in reality.

I sure don’t like this heat. It reached over 90 today. I do not do well in hot weather. I’m afraid we are in for another hot, hot summer in KS this year. I’m grateful I put in central air so the house will be comfortable. I didn’t turn it on today as I am managing with the use of the ceiling fans and tower fan. this house doesn’t have solar so I have to pay for A/C. It is still cooling down nicely at night so I will tough out a couple hours during the day for a bit longer.

I need to get hold of my high school student that does work for me occasionally. I had asked him a week ago to do something for me and he promised he would do it one day last week and that didn’t happen. I may have to find someone else to do a couple of jobs for me. Not sure who I can find but will start looking if necessary. Tagen is taking four collage classes this summer and working full-time so he doesn’t have any free time to help.

Life can be easy on some days and hard on others. This is one of the hard ones. I’m grateful to know that hard days don’t last forever and soon I will have more easy ones. Sure don’t like the hard ones but if I didn’t know the hard ones, how would I know the ones that are easy? My mentor used to tell me the farther I can go in both directions, the more joy I can find in life.

Grateful the shed is almost done being painted, grateful for afternoon naps, and grateful that this too shall pass.

I slept last night. At last! Went to bed at 6:30 last night. I woke up at 10:30 and thought it was time to get up. I managed to go back to sleep. I woke up about every two hours but each time went back to sleep until about 6:00 this morning. I was overdue for a long night’s sleep.

This has felt like Saturday to me for some reason. I had to set an alarm on my phone so I would remember to go to exercise today.

Kathy went out this morning and did lots of yard work. I went out late morning and mowed with the riding mower. I got along better with it today but I am still learning how to operate it. I think it is easier to push mow in tight places rather than use the rider as it doesn’t turn quickly and easily. Kathy finished up the push mowing while I was at exercise. The yard is looking much better already and we still have lots to clean up.

I went to town early afternoon. I needed to stop at my insurance agent’s office to drop off another insurance policy. One of the other rental’s insurance is coming due and I am switching them all to the same company.

I did my 47 minutes of exercise. This week’s exercises were stretches and the time went fast. By Friday I am good at them and then next Monday I start another new set.

Stopped by Walmart afterwards and picked up a few groceries. I also needed another choke chain and leash for the dogs. They didn’t have the right leash but I got one that will work until I can find the one I am looking for. Came home after Walmart. I had to stop for gas at the Strong City gas station as I forgot to get gas in Emporia.

Phil got the new push button door locks installed this afternoon. I got the front door programmed and still need to do the back door. It will be nice not to have to use a key to get in the house all the time. He also got the wheel chair ramp put up to the shed. The ramp that came with the shed was too steep for my mower. Hoping the wheel chair ramp will allow me to drive my mower into the shed.

I need to get the shed cleaned out and organized so there is room for the mower. Maybe I can talk Tagen into coming out one day soon and helping me with that project. I need some shelving units moved in the shed and they are too heavy for me to move.

Kathy and I got a screen installed. Now all the windows have screens. One thing at a time and I am working my way through my to-do list. Still have four more pictures to hang and a thingy to hang from the ceiling and then I will be done inside. Not bad for just over two weeks being in this house. It already feels like home.

I did some cleaning this morning. It is so nice to be able to pick up and straighten up this house in under 30 minutes. So much easier and faster to clean than the country house.

I took the dogs on long walks this morning. Sophia did her business but Roxy never did. Kathy took them on a walk midday and Roxy did her business then. They sure enjoy our walks and it is good to get me out walking each day a couple times too.

As far as I know, I get to stay home all weekend. I am way overdue for a quiet weekend at home. Nothing urgent on my to-do list so I can do whatever I want for the next two days. I need this time to refill my soul. I have been running on empty for the last month and it is going to take time to refill and to be able to hold my light. A couple quiet days at home will help get that process started.

Next week is fairly quiet. I have exercise in Emporia on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Thursday I have a doctor’s appointment in Topeka in the afternoon. The rest of the week is wide open with empty space.

I mailed the papers to Social Security. I sent them certified, return receipt requested so I will have proof that they get them. It seemed too complicated to find an office to take them too. Trusting I made the right decision.

Life seems to be slowing down a bit for me and time is opening back up for me. My to-do list is the shortest it has been for a long time. I will have lots of empty space on my calendar and that feels like a blessing. I have some friends and relatives I need to go visit and I will have time to do that soon. This move was the right thing for me to do. I feel the stress falling off of me. Life already feels simpler and less complicated in several ways.

Grateful for Phil and his help today, grateful for an empty weekend ahead, and grateful for the yard work Kathy is doing.

Pulled an all nighter last night. NO sleep at all. I just could not fall asleep. Around 4:00 decided to get up and stay up for the night as I was getting frustrated and it was making the situation worse.

Got the dining room pictures hung this morning. Still need to put some up in my bedroom and then that project will be done. Not sure I like what is in the dining room. Can’t tell if I don’t like the way I hung them or the combination of pictures. I may play with them for a bit another day. I need to repaint the dining room and living room someday soon so am not too worried about extra nail holes.

Went to Emporia mid morning and met with my accountant. She needed to do some tax calculations for me as I need to make some estimated tax payments this year so I don’t get penalized next year. I used the country house as an AirBnb and retreat center so claimed some depreciation. Since I sold the house, I have to repay what I had claimed. I also will have some additional income this year due to the big raise I am getting in Social Security checks and interest income due to the sale of the house.

She is to get that all figured and send me the tax coupons so I can make three quarterly tax estimated payments to both federal and state. Good to get that all taken care of.

Found out my tax accountant is a local Chase County gal. She graduated from Chase County High School some years back. I kinda know her mother. It is a small world.

This afternoon I went to the Court House. I needed to register to vote at my new address, change the address on my property tax statement, change the address on my car tags, and change the address on my driver’s license and get it renewed. Got all that taken care of in less than 15 minutes. I love small court houses. Connie escorted me to the three different offices I needed to go to. Service at its finest!

I couldn’t read the numbers with my left eye when I did the eye test. I had no trouble with the right eye so he passed me. The left eye is the eye that I only see the S and P in the STOP sign. I have some weird blood vessel abnormality that causes a break in my vision. I’m grateful I could pass with only one good eye.

I haven’t gotten much done in the house today except for hanging some pictures. I am too tired to do much. I did get several things crossed off my to-do list though with the trip to Emporia and the trip to the Court House. Feels good to have gotten all those things taken care of.

Tomorrow afternoon I have exercise at 2:00 in Emporia. I don’t think I have any errands to take care of while I am there so it will be a quick trip to town.

I did box up two smaller boxes of canned goods that I need to find a place to donate them to. I am working on cleaning out my food pantry shelves and reducing the number of items I have in it. It is too crowded and I can’t find anything right now. Slowly but surely I am working my way through it and pulling out extra stuff to get rid of.

No plans for the weekend. I hope to get to stay home both days. I need some quiet days at home. This week has been jammed packed and I need two days at home.

Although I am very tired today, I have managed to stay above the neutral level. Sure wish I could figure out why I don’t sleep. Last night was the worst it has ever been. Thinking I may crash tonight – sure hope so anyways.

I have walked the dogs three times today and I walked to the court house this afternoon. Trying to get some extra exercise in hoping that will help the sleep issue. I need to do my stretches yet today that I do twice a week as part of the KU Research Project. They only take 16 minutes so it isn’t a big deal. I forget about them sometimes though.

We got a bit of a storm during the night. I had thought I would be able to sleep after it passed through. We were on the very edge of the storm system and didn’t get much wind or rain. I love hearing the thunder roll and the sound of the rain falling. I miss being able to watch the storms roll in like I could at the country house. I can’t see the horizon here very well – too many trees.

It has cleared off this afternoon and is warming up. I’m hoping tomorrow will be nice and dry so I can get some painting done if the mood hits me. The shed I got only has primer on it and needs a coat of paint. I also need to get the inside of it cleaned out and organized. I put some stuff in the old shop and need to make room to move all that stuff into the shed. Some guys are going to come take down the shop one of these days and I need it ready for them when they come. I can’t guarantee that they will give me much advanced notice when they are ready to take the shop down.

Trying to decide if I want to mail original documents to Social Security or drive to Salina, Manhattan or Topeka to drop them off in person. I have to go to Topeka next week for a doctor’s appointment so could take them then. They have to scan them for my appointment June 10. I have to have original documents and I hate to mail them in case they get lost. What would I do then? Not sure how long it will take if I drop them off. My doctor appointment is at 2:00 so by the time I get out it may be close to 3:00 before I could get to the office. I wonder how long the line will be at that time of day. I could go before but what time would be best? Why does this feel hard? Maybe I just need to make a special trip on a free day when I have all day.

Still need to find someone to clean out the fence line on my property. The two people I had leads on haven’t panned out. One is too busy and the other didn’t return my call. Anyone know of someone that can take down small trees and clean out overgrown green stuff? Too big of job for me to handle.

Grateful I got all the address changes done today, grateful I got the tax situation figured out, and grateful for the sleep I am going to get tonight.

Another mostly non productive day. Just didn’t have much energy today. I did walk both dogs for 3/4 miles each this morning. Roxy was hard to handle but Sophia did well. Both did their business.

I went to Emporia late morning to meet up with Tagen so we could get his summer school fees paid. We went to the Vo Tech together. When I had called last week they told me an approximate amount. The amount he had to pay today was about 1/3 what they had told me. I have a feeling they will be calling him soon to let him know he didn’t pay enough. The person that helped us today didn’t have any power to do anything except accept a check for the amount on the screen. The people that needed to fix it were not available. Hope they will let him start classes later this week. We shall see what happens.

I hung out with Tagen for a bit afterwards as I had an hour to kill before it was time for me to do exercise. I always enjoy visiting with him so that was a fun hour. We stopped and got him some lunch and then took it to his house so he could eat.

I went to exercise and did my 45 minutes of stretching today. They are fairly easy this week and are working my arms and legs. The time goes fast and we don’t have to do a circuit of them which is nice.

I stopped afterwards and had lunch and then came home and took a nap. This has been a low energy type of day for me. Maybe the emotion of yesterday caught up to me and what my body seemed to need today was extra rest.

After my nap I went back to Emporia with Roxy, She has a rather large lump on her chest. They stuck a needle in it and got some fluid out and tested it. Luckily it is a fatty deposit and nothing to worry about. They can take it off if it starts to bother her but so far she doesn’t seem to mind it. She did well at the office and getting in and out of my car.

I will qualify for additional social security benefits since Craig died. I thought I needed a copy of his death certificate. When I went to order one, the form said if I was not related I needed a letter from the government agency explaining why I needed a death certificate. I called the Salina Social Security office to request a letter from the social security department. The lady that took my call at Social Security said she could look it up for me. She found it and I don’t need to provide a death certificate. I have a phone interview with Social Security the middle of June to complete the application. I have to send the original copy of the divorce decree to them before the phone date. I found the documents I need to send and have them ready to mail by certified mail tomorrow. That was much easier than I expected. I only had to hold for about five minutes.

When Craig and I first had the stores he received a pay check and I didn’t. His social security is much higher than what I get as a result. Since we were married for over 30 years, I qualify for his higher level of benefit. This will be most helpful to me as it has become a challenge to live on my social security amount.

It’s funny how little decisions you make at the time have such an impact on your life years later. I didn’t realize by not earning any money for about ten years under my name and my social security account, the amount I could claim when I retired would be so drastically reduced. I’m grateful for the system that will allow me to make up for that now that Craig has died. I’m just sorry that he had to die for that to happen.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia at 10:00 for a meeting with my accountant. I have lots of things going on with the sale of the house, moving into one of my rentals, etc. that may or may not impact my tax liability for this year. I want to touch base with her to make sure we are on top of all of it so I don’t get hit with a tax penalty next year when I file taxes for this year.

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment to get my driver’s license renewed. I need to change the address on it and since my license expires in August, I am going to go ahead and get it renewed early.

The meeting I had in Emporia tomorrow evening got moved to next week so I only have to make one trip to town tomorrow instead of two. I’m grateful for that. Friday I will have to go again for exercise class in the afternoon. I won’t be surprised if I will need to go by the Vo-Tech and pay some more for Tagen’s classes.

So far I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend. I’m hoping I will get to stay home both days but we shall see what happens.

Hoping tomorrow I will be able to get some things done. I seem to move forward two steps and then fall back three. This was a fall back day. I will offer myself some grace and allow it to be what it is and allow myself to take a day of rest. Everything that needs done can wait another day or two or three. Grateful I have the freedom to be able to take a day off if that is what my body is asking for.

I finally got the information about the trip to Costa Rica. It is a bit more expensive than I had hoped but I am going. I need to take good care of myself and this trip will help me do that. I need something to look forward to after all the changes I have been through these last couple of months. It will be an intense trip but know that it will hold some learnings for me in a very good way. I don’t have to pay for the trip until the first of June so will wait till then to send my payment.

Sitting on the edge of being above the neutral level. I have slipped below a couple times today. My reserve tank is empty and I have no patience or tolerance for anything that goes the least bit wrong today. It will take me some time to completely refill my tank and then to be able to keep it from draining quickly. I’m grateful I know what is happening in my body and spirit and that I know how to offer myself some grace during this time. It doesn’t make the between time easier but since I understand what is happening, it does make it more tolerable.

Grateful for an easy phone call to Social Security today, grateful Roxy’s lump is not serious, and grateful I can take a day and rest and allow myself to not push beyond my limits.

Kathy and I went to the Pleasant Valley Cemetery in Bentley, KS this morning to be with the family of our Aunt Jeanie as they said their final goodbyes to her. It was a picture perfect spring day to spend outside.

Two of our other cousins that we hadn’t seen for years joined us. One came from Salina and one came from Belton, MO. The two sons of our aunt were there too so six of the Krause cousins spent part of the day together.

The graveside service was beautiful. Everyone was given a chance to share memories of our aunt. Particularly touching were the remarks from her grandson who spent the most time with her in her final years in Newton. It was a lovely way to honor Aunt Jeanie. She was well loved and gave much love in return.

Afterwards many of us went to a local restaurant and had lunch together. More childhood memories were shared and tales were told. All in all a beautiful day full of love, memories and extended family.

I came home and took a nap. I don’t think I got more than two hours of sleep at best last night. Not sure I slept very much for my nap but it took the rough edge off of me. Kathy worked out in the yard while I slept. I so appreciate her work getting the flower beds and yard in better shape.

I feel myself slowing coming back home to myself. I’m still not aligned with body, mind and spirit but it feels like I might be getting close to being in the same time zone at least. It is going to take time and grace for all of me to align again.

Tomorrow I am meeting Tagen at 11:00 so we can take care of getting his summer school fees paid. I have exercise at noon. I will come home after that and then go back to Emporia with Roxy for her 4:30 appointment. Making two trips to Emporia in one day is not my favorite type of day but sometimes I have to put on my big girl panties and do what I need to do.

Thursday I go back to Emporia for a 10:00 meeting with my accountant and then I will return one more time this week on Friday for exercise. I think I get to stay home this weekend but we shall see if that can happen.

Today is a perfect spring day outside. Very little wind, temperatures in the high 70’s and bright blue skies. Just doesn’t get much better outside than today. Sure could take days like this year round.

I have a long list of little things on my to-do list if the urge hits to get something done. Unfortunately since most of them are not urgent I am not sure I will get many of them done this week. They haven’t quite hit the annoying factor yet although getting the rest of the pictures hung is getting close. I’m tired of seeing my tool box on the dining room table and need to get them up so I can put away my tools. We shall see what I can do.

Kathy and I have been in this house for two weeks now. In some ways it feels like two days and other ways two months or more. We both feel pretty settled and comfortable here. I can find most things I need without too much searching. Getting the shed straightened out and better organized is one of the things on my to-do list. Getting it painted is another.

Funerals and death have a way of reminding one of what is most important in life. Being fully present with family and close friends is one of those things that has moved up in priority in my life with these two recent deaths. Everything else just doesn’t feel too important right now.

Grateful for the life and love of my dear Aunt Jeanie, grateful for the gathering of my cousins today and the time to reconnect to them, and grateful for the ritual of saying goodbye to our loved ones.

This has definitely been a rest and recovery day. Both Kathy and I have had no energy today. I had to go into Emporia for exercise but otherwise have done absolutely nothing today.

Exercise gave me a bit of energy. Or maybe it was the Excedrin Migraine I took before I went? I felt like I had a bad hangover and I didn’t drink anything yesterday.

I think the emotion of the weekend caught up to me today. I actually slept last night but didn’t wake up feeling very rested. I think I am soul tired and it will take more than sleep to help that. I need a week of quiet days at home with lots of rest and empty space to heal the hurt in my soul. Not sure how long this one is going to take to refill my soul. Guess how ever long it takes!

Every Monday at exercise we do a new video. Today I used a towel and did arm and leg stretches. Class was 45 minutes this time but the time went by quickly. My trainer had a child graduate yesterday too and we were both very tired today. I’m glad I went as I felt better afterwards. It was very hard getting my ass to town today though.

My Aunt Jeanie’s graveside service is tomorrow morning north of Wichita. Kathy and I plan on going. There is a chance a couple of my cousins are going to come too in addition to the two sons of my aunt. We are all planning on going for lunch afterwards. It will be great to see some of my cousins that I haven’t seen for a long time, although I wish the circumstances were different.

I made an appointment to take Roxy to the Vet on Wednesday. She has a lump on her chest that I need to get checked out. I’m grateful she got a haircut so I noticed it. Wonder if it was there when they cut her hair or if it has popped out since? Surely they would have noticed it when they cut her hair. No idea what it might be.

I won’t get a day to stay home all day until this weekend. I have something to do everyday this week. Luckily most of the time each day is free and I will offer myself some grace and not push myself to get something crossed off my to do list. Everything on it can wait for another day or week.

I called two different people to see if I can find someone to clear the fence line at the back of the house. One hasn’t returned my call yet and the other is not sure he has time for it. I am to text him some pictures and he will get back to me. Guess it isn’t a rush job but sure would like to find someone to clear it out for me. Some small trees need cut down and lots of bush and overgrowth need cleaned out. Anyone know of anybody that does that type of thing? Too big of job for me to handle.

Still need to finish hanging pictures. I’m tired of my dining room table being full of the tools I use to do that project. I’m so tired though that the task of hanging pictures feels too big for me to tackle right now. I will get to it – sooner or later.

Feeling a bit ungrounded and unsettled today. I know my body, mind and spirit are not all in the same time zone right now. I keep reminding myself to allow what is and for it to take as much time as it takes to come back in alignment. It is an uncomfortable place to be but allowing it and keeping out of resistance will help this pass. It is hard to process all that has happened this last couple of weeks. It will take some time and patience and grace.

Grateful for the love of my dear Aunt Jeanie, grateful for exercise class today and grateful for Excedrin Migraine.

I am as tired as I can remember being tonight. I think the emotions of the weekend caught up with me. I am going to put myself in time-out for the rest of the evening for the safety of mankind.

Today we celebrated Tagen’s high school graduation. The auditorium got so full they had to turn some people away. His class had over 300 students in it. Luckily Tagen’s bonus mom had saved some seats and Kathy and I were able to sit during the long ceremony.

After Tagen got his diploma Kathy and I left. We decided to get out before the crowd departed. I needed to fill my car with gas and I took it through the car wash. We went to Marshals and Kathy bought a new outfit and I got some organizing containers.

We went to Tagen’s graduation party. He and his girlfriend had a joint party. I didn’t know very many people there. After I ate I went around and picked up trash. It was something I know how to do and it was a small help to those that were putting the party on. There were lots of people there – his girlfriend has a big family.

We cut out a bit early and came home. I am grumpy and tired and needed to get away from people. I have a feeling it is going to be early to bed tonight. I took a nap before we went to the graduation and sure didn’t want to get up when my alarm went off. I had slept good last night but I am totally and completely drained on many levels.

I’m grateful this coming week is fairly slow and I have lots of empty space and quiet time. This last two weeks has been a roller coaster with the move, Craig’s death and ending with Tagen’s graduation. I truly hope that the coming weeks will offer some respite and quiet.

Kathy cleaned up the two front flower beds this morning. They look so much better. When I go to town for exercise tomorrow, I need to stop and get some mulch and maybe some flowers to plant in one of the two beds. The other bed has some old fashioned climbing roses in it that are blooming right now. It is a good start to getting this yard put back into shape.

Just found out my Aunt Jeannie passed away. She was the last of my aunts and uncles on my dad’s side of the family. She and my dad’s brother Don had divorced years ago but Aunt Jeannie stayed in touch with me. Her service is going to be Tuesday morning.

Still processing all that has happened these last two weeks. I feel like I am on a treadmill and can’t get it to slow down. Too much has happened in too short of a timeframe. My head, body and spirit are all on different timetables and are not working together right now. Hoping a quiet week with not too much on my calendar will help me slow down and allow all of me to catch up.

Grateful for Tagen and the joy he brings to my life, grateful for the love and life of my Aunt Jeannie, and grateful tomorrow is a quiet day.

Today was Craig’s memorial service. What a beautiful job the family did arranging everything and the preacher was so very good. She captured the essence of Craig perfectly. Craig’s best friend Bob, did the eulogy and did a wonderful job. I can’t imagine any part of the day being any better.

It was good to see the extended family that came. It was also good to see Craig’s best friends from Emporia that made the drive up. One of our assistant managers from days long ago that lives in Wichita came – it was so good to see him.

The family served a lunch afterwards and had lots of pictures on the tables from days gone by. What memories it brought up for me. Special day, special times, much love in the rooms today. It is always a good day when I get to spend time with all three of my kids. Just wish it could have been for a happier occasion. We laughed, we cried, we shared stories and shared our love with each other.

My kids are hurting and it was a hard day for them. Although Craig had been in poor health for some time, it is still hard to let him go. He was larger than life in many ways and the kids will always carry this pain with them. Hopefully over time, the pain will ease and the memories they have will help sustain them.

Nicole sent me a text last night around 9:00 of images of the Northern Lights she had captured. I immediately got in my car and drove out to the Tallgrass Prairie Preserve and attempted to take some pictures. I got a few good ones. It was amazing to see the image on the camera as the naked eye didn’t capture it. The sky had a glow to it but it wasn’t visible until I saw the image I took. What a sight. I’m so very grateful Nicole sent me her pictures as I had forgotten about it.

What a special treat for all to get to see the Northern Lights. There is a good chance we will be able to see them again tonight so Kathy and I and some friends are going to meet up tonight to see if we get lucky again. Who needs to go all the way to Iceland to see them when they are in our back yard!

I am really tired tonight. We got home from Wichita around 3:00 and Kathy and I sat out on the porch for the longest time doing nothing. We went out for dinner tonight which is a rare occurrence for us but I needed real food and was too tired to cook. I don’t plan on doing anything this evening except go hunting for the Northern Lights later.

Tomorrow will be a big day again as it is Tagen’s high school graduation and party. Doors open at 2:00 so we will need to be in town around then to get seats. His graduation party is from 5:00 – 8:00 so it will be a long day in town but a wonderful one.

Monday I just have exercise to go to at 2:00. I have a feeling I won’t be too productive Monday as I will need a rest and recovery day from this emotionally full weekend. All week next week is fairly light for me which is perfect timing. It will be good to kick back into slow motion mode and allow myself to get grounded and refilled.

The dogs did well with us gone most of the day. We had taken them for long walks this morning and they managed not to have any accidents in the house while we were gone. Hoping they can repeat that tomorrow since we will both be gone most of the day tomorrow.

Weather wise it was another perfect day. Light wind, temperatures in the high 70’s and bright blue skies. We have some storms that are to come in Sunday evening and into Monday and Tuesday but today was picture perfect.

Still sitting with my feelings about Craig’s passing. We had made peace a long time ago from the divorce and had become friends again. We shared a lot of life together and since he is the father of my three kids his impact on my life will always be there. I was lucky to have known him and grateful for all he is to me.

Grateful for the life and love I shared with Craig, grateful for all who are supporting me and my children through this hard time, and grateful for the presence of all that came to the memorial service today.

Lazy morning for me. I took the dogs one by one on their 1/2 mile walk. Came home and I had no motivation to do anything. I still felt tired so I went back to bed and slept for a couple more hours. I will take sleep whenever I can find it these days.

Got up and went to Emporia. I had my thyroid bloodwork I needed to get done so stopped and got a blood draw. My TSH is almost 7 which is way too high. No wonder I have been dragging lately. Not sure what they will do about it at my appointment in two weeks. I sure have trouble keeping my levels at the target range of around 2. The rest of the blood work looked good except for my BUN which is always high.

Went to exercise. I’m glad this was the last day for this set of exercise as I didn’t enjoy them. We worked my legs and butt today and it causes my butt to get activated from the bursitis and my toes to hurt.

Stopped at Walmart afterwards and got some organizing baskets for the back room as well as a dress to wear tomorrow to Craig’s funeral. I haven’t tried it on yet so hoping it will work. I’ll wear pants if it doesn’t fit.

Came home and put things away. I will need to take the dogs one by one on their walk for the evening in a bit. I needed to sit for a while and let my hip calm down before I take the dogs out. My left foot is really bothering me tonight too for some reason.

I should go out and paint for an hour or two this evening. It is so nice out it would be a good time to get the shed painting project started. Still may but not going to bank on it. Don’t have much motivation this evening.

Tomorrow is Craig’s memorial service. It is at 11:00 at the Unity Church at 2160 N Oliver in Wichita. They are planning on live streaming it for those that can’t make it to Wichita.

Sunday is Tagen’s high school graduation and party. That will be a more fun day. I have been asked to bring iced tea and a cooler of ice. That will be easy.

Not many plans for next week except for exercise three days in Emporia. I am meeting with my accountant on Thursday and getting my driver’s license renewed on Thursday as well. It will be good to have a quiet week to finish getting settled. The yard will need mowed and I will want to get the shed painted. Still have some cabinets to reorganize inside too.

The dogs are telling me they need to go out so best take them out.

Grateful for extra sleep this morning, grateful for this perfect weather spring day, and grateful for organizing totes and baskets.

The dogs woke both Kathy and I up around 12:30 this morning. I had just gotten sound asleep and it was hard to wake up enough to take them out. Neither one did any business outside. Something must have made them go on alert. All they wanted to do was sniff the ground and then they were good to come back in and settle down.

It took me a long time to get back to sleep. I finally got up and took a second bath and took some Tylenol. I slept for about three hours.

Took the dogs one by one on walks this morning. I walked about 1.5 miles all together. They are good for me to get my steps in.

Went to Emporia mid morning. I stopped at Hobby Lobby and got a stand for the bathroom. It has six baskets in it and will give us lots more storage in the bathroom. It is narrow and doesn’t take up too much space. I want to paint it white sometime but that can wait for another day.

Went to True Value and got two gallons of paint for the shed. I haven’t matched it to the house yet but it will be close enough. The shed is quite a ways from the house so they don’t have to exact match. I may try to get started painting on it tomorrow.

Went to Union Social and met with 11 other friends to celebrate a special friend turning 70 today. The food was wonderful as always there and the company was grand. Lunch took about two hours as we had a lot to visit about.

Stopped at North Reebles for a few groceries. I wasn’t up to Walmart today. I need two things from Walmart but I will get those tomorrow when I go to town for exercise.

Came home and crashed for about 10 minutes. I got two phone calls and gave up trying to sleep.

Went on-line to book flights to Costa Rica. I could not get the jumper flight company to accept my credit card. I called the bank and they said they had no record of an attempt coming through. Finally found a number to call the airline direct and was able to book the flight directly through them.

Booked the flight from KC to San Jose, Costa Rica without issue – I trust! The way this day is going I am not sure I trust myself today.

I have to fly in a day early and fly out a day late as there were no flights the day of the jumper flights that worked. I found a hotel to stay at close to the airport and booked the first night with no problem. I changed the dates to the second night I need and booked it. When I got the confirmation it showed I had booked the same night two times. I had to call and canceled one of them. I then booked the second night I needed.

This process has not been easy. Trusting this will be the hardest part of the whole trip. Still don’t know how much the retreat is but decided to take a leap of faith and trust that it is within my budget. Guess I am going regardless now!

I made an appointment with my foot surgeon. My second toe is crossing over my big toe on both feet and it makes the big toe feel like it has an ingrown toenail, which it does not. I got some toe spacers and they are helping but at the end of the day my big toe aches. Not sure what can be done about it but want to have it checked out. His first available appointment is June 25.

I also made an appointment with my regular doctor to check my hip pain out. I have complained about it before to him and he didn’t seem too concerned about it but it is starting to interfere with my daily living. When it gets set off it hurts bad. Starting to think I have some arthritis or bursitis in it. Hoping there is something that can be done. I really want to start walking 10,000 steps a day and my hips are going to prevent that from happening if I don’t get them taken care of. His first available appointment is at the end of May.

Good thing neither thing is life threatening. Not sure what I would do if it was. Oh well, they have been bothering me for a while, what’s another couple weeks or months.

I took Sophia on a mile walk this afternoon. I came in afterwards to get a drink and then was going to take Roxy but she declined. When she wakes up I will offer her a long walk too. It is a good day for a nap.

The kids are planning a special celebration of life party for Craig on June 7 at the VFW in Emporia from 6:00 – 8:00. It will be fun to see all the employees that used to work for us as well as old friends from the day. Craig’s memorial service is at the Unity Church in Wichita on Saturday, May 11 at 11:00. That service is going to be life streamed for those that can’t make it.

It is a beautiful day today. Mid 70’s with little to no wind. Perfect spring day. Sure wish everyday could be like this. I should go out and work in the yard since it is so nice.

Feeling cranky this afternoon. The struggle to get the flights and hotel rooms booked drained me. I still have little to no reserve energy in my tank. Town wore me out today. I haven’t been around people much these last couple of weeks as I have been focused on moving and packing and getting rid of things. It caught me a bit off guard today to feel my energy draining. Wonder what Saturday will be like? Oh dear! And then I have Tagen’s graduation and party Sunday afternoon and evening. Have a feeling I better not plan anything for next week other than exercise.

Tomorrow all I have on the calendar is exercise. I need to get two things from Walmart and then I can come back home. Saturday is Craig’s memorial service and Sunday is Tagen’s graduation and party. So far next week looks pretty open except for exercise in Emporia three times and a meeting with my accountant in Emporia on Thursday. This house is pretty much completed so hoping I will have a boring week and will be looking for things to do by the end of it.

I really do need to think of something to do with myself once I get my to-do list of things I still want to do with the house done. I am going to have lots of free time and need to decide how to fill it. I hope to do lots of walking but that still leaves lots of time for something else. I haven’t had this much free time for a long time and am anxious to see how I choose to fill it.

Grateful for the birthday gathering today, grateful the flights and hotels are booked for the Costa Rica trip, and grateful the two doctor appointments are made.

I got up and walked both dogs for a little over 1/2 mile each. They are doing better each day on the leash and seem to enjoy our morning walks. They both did their business this morning.

Went to Emporia late morning. I stopped at the bank in Cottonwood Falls and cashed in a bowl of coins. Got $48 for it! Not bad for a bowl of coins.

On the way to town I got a text that the picture I had broken the glass out of moving was fixed and ready to be picked up so I stopped by and got that. Went to the Chiropractor next.

Went to exercise and did 52 minutes of exercise. The time went fairly quickly. We are working my legs and arms this week. I was glad when I was done as they got worked well today and were tired by the end of the session.

Stopped at Sutherland’s and got a plug for the bath tub. I was going to go to Walmart and get some groceries but I was peopled out and decided not to go there. I stopped for lunch and went home.

Came home and had a pre-scheduled phone call with a friend. She is leading a retreat to Costa Rica in July and I think I am going to go. I haven’t found out the price yet but unless it is way more than I am expecting I think I will go. I met this friend the first time I went to see John of God in Brazil. She was my tour guide for that adventure and I really clicked with her. She is a clairvoyant and has great insight and would be a lot of fun to travel with. She is to send me more details this week and then I will decide for sure what to do.

Phil came over this afternoon and helped me get a screen in place on a window by my chair. It is nice that I now can open that window. He also took the broken plug out of the bathtub. I can take a bath tonight! Yay!

Phil then hung the spice rack and a mop handle thingy. It is so nice to have those two things up. I really like the spice rack. It is on the wall and I can easily find the spice I need when I cook. It freed up a shelf in the cabinets so now I can rearrange the other stuff in that cabinet and be able to find them easily too.

It is nice to have the brooms up off the floor and easy to grab and go. This rack has a place for me to hang my aprons on too. I love getting things better organized. When you live in a small space, that becomes a necessity.

Last night I got the window sill touched up with paint as well as the dining room wall. Feels good to get little things like that done. My list of things to do is starting to get a bit smaller although there are still lots of little things on it to do as the mood strikes. I still have a few more pictures to hang but I really have to be in the right mood to do that.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to go to a lunch. I may stop at Walmart afterwards and get some groceries or they may wait until I go back to town on Friday for exercise. I also need to go to a different place to find paint for the shed. I looked at Sutherland’s today but the guy that was helping me didn’t know the paint department well and I didn’t understand which paints I could get for exterior. I brought some color samples home but none of them will work.

Saturday is Craig’s funeral in Wichita. It starts at 11:00 and I think there is a lunch afterwards but not sure I am invited. It will be a long day either way. Sunday is Tagen’s graduation at 3:00 with a party afterwards. I’ll get to see how the dogs do being left home alone for most of the day for two days in a row.

Next week looks fairly quiet. I have to go to town four days next week as I have a face-to-face meeting with my accountant on Thursday. I also have an appointment in the afternoon on Thursday to get my driver’s license renewed. I will have my normal three trips to town for exercise. One of the trips I need to stop and have bloodwork done in preparation for my upcoming appointment with my Endocrinologist later this month. She placed the orders for the bloodwork today.

I’m hoping my high school guy will be able to get the dog run sometime this week or next so we can get that set up and let the dogs out during the day. He said he had some things going on and would let me know when he can get around to it.

I want to get the shed painted next week. Hoping the weather will cooperate and not get too hot or be too wet. I surely want to get that painting job done before summer temperatures arrive. I don’t tolerate hot weather very well.

Slowly but surely things are getting done in this house and we are getting settled in. So far, so good. I love to walk in town. It is so much easier to walk on pavement than it is to walk on gravel roads. The dogs and I take a different route each day and they enjoy exploring the city too. It does me good to get out and walk each day. I need to do the same each evening too. The size of this house is working well for me. It is a big change but it feels so much more manageable and it holds less responsibility for me. There are still things to tend to but it doesn’t feel so overwhelming to me.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. Excited about the possibilities of going to Costa Rica this summer. I need something to look forward to and rewarding myself with this type of adventure sounds good for my soul. One of the reasons I downsized was so I could do more adventures.

Grateful for Phil and the four little jobs he took care of today, grateful for this perfect spring day, and grateful I get to take a bath tonight.

Got up and got dressed and walked the dogs one by one to Kathy’s coffee shop. It was a nice walk for all of us. Sophia did her business but Roxy never did.

I’m not sure I have gotten much more done today. I took a long nap late morning. My body has slowed down today and doesn’t want to find the on switch. I have been expecting to crash and burn one day soon and I guess today was the day. Good thing I didn’t have anything on my calendar.

The organizing supplies came in today. Nice to have the silverware easy to find again. I got a hanging spice rack that is going to work really well. I also got a rack to hang up the brooms and mops. I sent Phil a text and asked if he could get those two things hung up for me.

I had ordered a three tier stand for the bathroom. It was so cheaply made that I started to put it together and gave up and threw it away. Lesson learned. I will look in a store and find what I am looking for.

I got some containers to put in the entertainment center. It has doors that pull out and has shelves on it. I needed something to contain what I wanted to put on the shelves and they work perfectly.

I got the spice jars all labeled and some put in the jars that came with the rack. It will be nice to be easily able to find the spices I am looking for.

Still haven’t hung a picture on the wall yet. Not feeling like I would be successful at it today so decided to offer myself some grace and not try. This is not a day for anything hard and sometimes hanging pictures is hard for me.

I need to dig the push mower out of the shed and do some mowing with it. Not sure I have the patience to do that today. This isn’t a day for me to do hard things.

It is a beautiful day out today. We didn’t get much rain or any of the predicted storms last night. Grateful for that although I feel bad for the places that got hit with high winds and tornadoes. Sounds like there weren’t as many as had been predicted but one anywhere is one too many.

Guess I will continue taking a rest day and not attempt to do something. Sometimes I need to listen to my body and give it the rest it needs. There is nothing I have to do today that can’t wait for an easier day.

Grateful I know how to give my body what it needs and have the time and space to do so, grateful for organizing tools that make living in a small space easier, and grateful that this too shall pass.

Not a very productive day today. I did get a few more pictures hung. Still have a few more to do.

Went to Emporia a little after noon. I stopped and paid my water bill in Cottonwood Falls. Remembered to get a copy of the bill so I have something to show the official when I change my driver’s license address.

Went to the hardware store and got some shims so I can attempt to level the bookcase in the living room. It is hard to find a straight line in this house. I bet the bookcase is at least two inches lower on one side than the other.

I went to Marshall’s looking for a glass iced tea pitcher. They didn’t have any. I did find an over the door rack so I can hang my bathrobe in the bathroom. I even checked at Hobby Lobby to see if they had one but they didn’t either.

I went to both Tractor Supply and Bluestem looking for dog kennels. Bluestem has some pieces that you fit together but man are they expensive. Tractor Supply has one about the same material for much less. Now I need to find someone with a strong back and a pickup that can pick one up and help me set it up.

I went to the Lyon County Courthouse and paid the second half of taxes on the four Emporia rental properties. They had me stop at the City Clerk’s office to change the mailing address for next year’s bills. They didn’t need any proof of the change of address.

I went to exercise. We worked on my legs today. I sure could tell I hadn’t done exercises much last week. I struggle to complete them all today. Thinking I might be sore tomorrow. Wish I could soak in the bathtub tonight but I haven’t gotten the plug fixed and the tub doesn’t hold water right now.

I got the funds for the sale of the house today. I even got the refund for the property taxes that I had paid but they had withheld from the proceeds of the house. They had told me that check would take up to two weeks so I was surprised it came in today.

I got home before the weather hits. We are in a tornado watch for the rest of the evening. We are on the northeast outer limit of it so not sure what to expect. High Schools in both Emporia and Chase County have cancelled events for tonight in anticipation of severe weather. I’ll have to keep checking radar for safety. It sure feels pregnant out but since the temperature hasn’t been high the last couple of days I’m not sure how much bad stuff we will get. Grateful I am not a sitting duck up on the hill on the prairie.

My goal for the day is to finish hanging the pictures on the walls. I don’t like doing that and I keep finding other things to do. I’m tired of the tools I have lying around so I can finish that project. After that gets done I want to go back through the food cabinet and reduce it by at least half. All the stuff I brought fit but I can’t find anything as it is so crowded. That drives me nuts and takes too long to find what I want.

My bedroom floor is clean and clear! I got the top of the closet rearranged yesterday and all the Knick knacks packed away that I don’t have room for. It was so nice to go to bed in a clean bedroom last night.

When I go to town Wednesday I want to get paint for the shed so I can start that project when the mood hits. It will be fairly easy to paint.

I do need to order something different for a ramp to get into the shed. My riding mower can’t make it up the ramp that came with the shed as it is too steep. I will look for a wheelchair ramp and see if I can find one at a reasonable price. I have the old shop to put it in for now but that shop will go away when I start building the new house as that is where the new house is going.

I still need to get out to the shed and totally organize it. I got all the boxes that were left emptied so I know what I have in there. Still can’t come up with what may have been taken as I had also put things in totes and I haven’t emptied those yet. I will have enough room to move the things we put in the shop into the shed once the shed is organized. It will work perfectly.

The house is in pretty good shape considering we moved in six days ago. Still have some work to do on the back porch once the stuff I ordered to help me better organize it comes in this week. I have plenty of room for all my things in that room too.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. Wednesday I go to the Chiropractor and have exercise and then I have a scheduled phone call with a friend. I have a few errands to run while I am in town Wednesday, Thursday I am having lunch with a group of friends in Emporia and Friday I have to go back to Emporia for exercise.

This Saturday is Craig’s funeral and Sunday is Tagen’s graduation so it will be an emotional weekend. Grateful I have a relatively quiet week this week so I can go into the weekend full.

I slept really well last night but am feeling really tired today. I had drained all my energy last week and it is going to take a while to refill. I still have some emotion that I need to allow to come out but it seems to pick and choose by itself when it wants to do that. The best I can do is allow it when it does bubble up. I’m grateful I have time to do that this week.

Grateful I got home today before the weather hits, grateful the house is almost put together, and grateful all the funds from the sale of the house came in today.

Damn! Someone stole two ladders and helped themselves to my storage shed. I called and filed a report with the Sheriff. Not sure what all is missing from the storage shed.

Kathy had gone to the shed Friday to get the wheelbarrow out. She had to move lots of boxes to get to it and piled the boxes back in the shed. When I went out to the shed today all those boxes are gone and there is lots of room in the shed.

I had my two high school guys lay the ladders by the porch when they moved the last of the stuff Thursday. I forgot about them and went out today to move them to the barn. They were gone.

I will have to move up reorganizing the shed on my priority list so I can try to remember what may be missing. I am so tired right now that my brain is on slow-motion and I can’t think of what I even put in there. I know as I was working organizing the back porch I filled several boxes of stuff that I didn’t have room for and sent it out there. But what did I fill those boxes with? No clue.

Maybe this is the Universe helping me get rid of extra stuff! I wanted the last of the boxes to go away and maybe the Universe took me literally. Ha! Got to find something to smile about. It kinda gut punched me when I opened the shed and saw that things were missing.

The Sheriff gave me a case number and as I remember what was in the boxes I am to update them with the list of items and an approximate value.

Guess I will also move up having Phil put keypad locks on the doors so it will make it easy to lock the house up all the time. I have a key to the shed and I will have to find it and make use of it too. Shame on me for not locking things up. Really didn’t expect I would have to. The Sheriff said this type of thing doesn’t happen very often here.

Yesterday evening I got brave enough to try to hook up the TV. The remote I was trying to use wouldn’t do anything but turn the TV on. I looked up a YouTube on how to fix a broken remote and did all those steps and nothing worked. Put a post on Facebook and some friends came over. He discovered after a bit I didn’t have the correct remote. There weren’t any other remotes near the TV and had no idea where the correct one had gone. I kinda assumed it had gotten thrown out with the material they used to pack the TV up in.

I went on-line and ordered a new LG remote. My friends left and about ten minutes later Kathy comes out of her bedroom with the correct remote. Yay! I struggled a bit getting the internet connected but it finally worked and we were able to watch TV last night. That project was a struggle but a success.

I so appreciated my friends coming over and lending a hand. That will be a huge advantage to living in town as my friends in town all live close by.

I hung a few pictures on the walls last night. Having mixed results. One wall I hung five things and then decided I didn’t like it – it was too busy. I found the right pictures to put there but now I have lots of extra nail holes and I still need to make a few more. I had decided I needed to add a bit more color to this room anyways and had decided to paint it when everything else gets put in place. I will definitely need to now as I don’t have any extra paint in this color. That will happen sometime in the future when things quiet down a bit.

I have the bookcase in my bedroom arranged. I still need to clean up the leftovers and pack them away or else discard them. I have one tub full of knick knacks already as they are all things I am not ready to let go of yet. I will store them until I move into the house I am building and if I can’t find a place to display them at that house, I will let them go then. Most are little things that hold special memories for me. I will offer myself some grace and keep them for a bit longer.

I have done a great job letting go of most things but these are things that would be hard to find a duplicate for if I changed my mind in the future. Lots of them are things people I love have given me or things I picked up on my travels around the country and world. I am not a big shopper and don’t usually buy little Knick knacks unless they hold a special memory for me. They have piled up over the years though.

I still need to finish hanging pictures and getting the bookcase in the living room set. The shelves in it are not set on the right brackets and I need to take all the books out of it and reset it. Once I get the pictures all hung and the bookcase arranged the house will be pretty much how I want it to be. I still have some rearranging to do in some kitchen cabinets and the pantry when the supplies I ordered come in mid week. Not bad for not being here a week yet.

Tomorrow I have lots of errands to run when I go to town to do exercise. In the morning I need to call and make an appointment to get my driver’s license renewed. Hopefully tomorrow will be pay day and the wire transfer of funds will come in. I’m hoping I can find some sort of pen that I can use to put the dogs outside for part of the day. They are really missing being outside most of the time. My fence for them won’t be built for several months.

The rest of the week is free for me except for exercise on Wednesday and Friday and a lunch I am going to on Thursday. That will give me lots of time to slow down and slowly finish up this move.

Making progress everyday on getting settled. I took time out to take a nap in my chair again today. My body is telling me to slow down and allow myself to feel. When something so big happens I don’t think the reality can be absorb quickly. With the big move, Craig’s death and now the theft I know it is going to take time for all of this to be absorbed within.

Still sitting in a good head space. The theft discovery today kinda rocked me for a bit but since I don’t know what is gone except for the two ladders it doesn’t feel too bad. Ladders are easily replaced. Trusting whatever is gone is not irreplaceable.

Grateful for dear friends that helped me out yesterday with the TV, grateful for a kind sheriff deputy today, and grateful for lock and keys.

The whole house is box free. I worked on the back porch today reorganizing it and got everything out of all the boxes back there. I ordered a few things to help make things go in their right place but otherwise am pleased with how everything fit. I did add a few more things to the pile on the curb that need to go away.

I scattered pictures throughout the house. I haven’t hung any yet but that is next on my list of things to do. I have an overflow of pictures that I need to decided what to do with. Not sure I can get rid of some of them knowing I will have more walls at the house I am building. I found room for most of them though.

I still need to sort through my Knick-knacks and see what I can discard or store. The bookcase I have to put them on is overflowing and I don’t like crowded shelves. That will be even harder for me to decide what to do with the left overs. Many are souvenirs I picked up on my travels around the world and others are family items. Maybe my kids will take some of the left over family items?

I had a real hard time finding sleep last night. Don’t think I slept more than two hours all night and that came in bits and pieces. I was tired and cranky this morning. I took a nap this afternoon in my chair and slept hard for over an hour.

I fixed chili today. I was able to find everything I needed but it is a struggle getting to things in this tiny kitchen. The trash can is in front of the drawer with the lids and the cabinet with the spices. The drawer that has the lids is small and I had to take all the lids out to get the big one I needed. The spices are all piled in the cabinet and it was a challenge to find the five I needed for the chili. The canned goods were not fun to find either. I have way too many of them. I burned the hamburger as I am not used to using a gas stove. I just tasted the chili and you can’t taste the burned meat – thank heavens. I need to reduce the number of cans I have and my chili recipe calls for eight of them. Not sure I can tell I removed eight cans from the cabinet but it was a start at using some of them up.

I did order a spice rack that hangs on the wall. That will making using spices much easier. The racks that allow spices to sit on elevated shelf’s are too big for my cabinets.

This kitchen will call for me to cook simple things as it will be too much work to fix things that have lots of ingredients I will have to find. At least, that will be my excuse not to fix complicated things.

We got just a bit of rain overnight and into early morning. The clouds with the heavy stuff went around us. I kept checking radar during the night as there was some nasty looking blobs showing up on radar. The dogs were a bit upset during the night and restless too. Not sure if it was the weather or they were picking up on my energy.

Kathy took a load to recycling and hauled off another pile of boxes. I’m grateful she is taking care of those things for me. It is handy being so close to the recycling center in town. When I lived in the country I stored it up and only brought it to town when I had a full car load. Now we can take it when we have one tub full.

I haven’t received the funds from the sale of the house yet. They told me I probably wouldn’t get them until Monday and possibly Tuesday. I’ll have to decide how I want to invest them. A lot of it will go to paying for the house I am going to build but the other part of it I need to put to work for me in some way or other.

I was pretty cranky this morning but my nap helped. I need to zoom out and realize how much I have gotten done. I sit in my corner chair and see all the things that still need done and focus on that and forget how far I have come in several days.

Tomorrow I want to finish up my bedroom and make the extra pictures and Knick-knacks go away and clear my floor. I also need to reorganize the shelf in my closet as I just piled things up there when I unpacked the first time. Phil repaired a window in the living room and I need to paint that tomorrow.

I have several things I need to take care of on Monday. I need to get my driver’s license address changed and register to vote with my new address. My driver’s license expires this year so I will go ahead and renew it too. I also need to pay the second half of property taxes for my rental houses in Emporia. I paid the second half of my two Chase County properties earlier.

I also want to price a temporary dog run of some sort. I have a guy that is going to build me a sturdy one but he isn’t available until possibly June or July. The dogs need a place to be able to be outside most of the day. I don’t trust their electronic collars and there is a leash law in the city. I need a break from them during the day!

Next week I want to get out to the shed and get it in shape. The shed itself also needs painted. I will paint it the same color as the house. I also have several places in the house that need reorganized such as the bookcase in the living room. It is too crowded and I need to eliminate some books from it. For some reason it is missing a shelf and I will have some wasted space but nothing I can do about that. I also need to reduce the number of stuff in my food pantry by about half so it is easy to find things.

When all that gets done I then get to decide what I want to do with all my free time. I do want to start walking lots again. The dogs will need taken on long walks everyday and that may help give me motivation to get out and walk more and stick with it. This yard needs lots of love and attention. I am going to hire the two guys that helped me this week take stuff to the dump to come here and make a huge pile of yard waste and bricks to go away. I need to collect it all first though.

I still haven’t attempted to hook up the TV. That type of thing can only happen when I am in the mood to be patient with myself and that hasn’t happened yet! I don’t watch TV much anyways so no rush on that. However, if something comes up in the world I want to be able to tune in and watch things happen. Never know when that might happen so I want to get it hooked up sooner than later.

I’m not sure it has fully hit me that I no longer own the country place. I did think about it last night as I watched radar and saw the threat of severe stuff headed our way. What a relief to know I am not sitting on top of the hill in that huge house anymore. Maybe when I get the funds from the sale of the house it will feel real.

Nothing on my calendar for next week except exercise three days and the errands I want to run on Monday. Saturday is Craig’s funeral and Sunday is Tagen’s high school graduation. Talk about an emotion filled weekend! Good thing I have some time to rest up for all of that this week.

The dogs are still shedding and leaving white hairs on the rug in the living room. I am grateful I had them shaved as I can’t imagine how much they would have left with their heavy coats still on them fully. I am thinking I will get to vacuum this rug daily from here on out.

One day next week I will clean this house. WOW! Finally a house that I can clean the whole thing in an hour tops. That will feel good. The other house took me several days to clean it all and I rarely had the energy to get it all done at the same time.

It has been fun watching the stuff disappear at the curb. Today a kid rode up on a bicycle with a sack in hand and filled his sack. Not sure what all he took but he looked like a kid on a mission. I’m grateful he took some things. Some people come and look and take lots and others don’t take anything. Just so grateful it is going away. If it isn’t gone by Monday I will have to haul it to Salvation Army.

Sitting in a good head space this afternoon, thanks to my nap. This week has been jam packed with moving and Craig’s death. I can feel the emotion that I had suppressed starting to come to the surface so I will need to allow time to grieve and allow those feelings out. It will be good to have a relatively quiet week ahead so I can have time to sit and feel those hard feelings. I need to release them gently so they don’t erupt and I dump them on someone else that doesn’t deserve them.

Not sure what support the kids will need this week. Michelle will have an especially hard weekend with Tagen’s graduation on top of her dad’s funeral. It won’t be an easy week for any of them and I will allow lots of time for me to be there as they need me. Sure wish I could lift some of their pain for them but know they each have to find their way through their grief each in their own way. I can only sit beside them and hold space for them to grieve.

Grateful for the progress that I have made getting settled into this house, grateful there are no more boxes in the house, and grateful I know what I need to do to take care of myself and my kids.

Happy birthday to my daddy. It seems appropriate that I ended one chapter in the book of my life on his birthday. I feel his presence with me often, especially when I need a new perspective on something that I am doing.

I took a sleeping tablet last night and finally slept hard. Unfortunately due to the sleeping tablet, I woke up with a hangover and it took me a long time to wake up this morning.

I set a bunch of stuff out on the curb in front of my house this morning. Most of it is gone this afternoon. Hoping the rest of it will go away soon. That seemed easier than boxing it up and taking it to the Salvation Army.

Kathy helped me clear the front porch. Kathy took a car load of empty boxes to the recycling trailer. Luckily it was empty and it was easy for her to put the boxes in it. She also carried load after load to the old garage that is on the property. The new shed is full and I haven’t had a chance to go out and sort it and put stuff in there properly. The old garage will suffice for a temporary holding area until I can better organize the shed. It is nice to have a cleared off front porch.

Kathy and I sat on the porch for a long time this morning. I think we both hit the wall today and needed lots of sitting time today. I have been teary and full of emotion today and was struggling to remember something long enough to do it.

I did get the remaining three boxes left in the house unpacked. That feels good! I do have some unpacked boxes on the back porch and in the shed but those are out of sight. All the rooms in the house, except the back porch are pretty much the way they are going to me. My bedroom still has lots of pictures on the floor that are waiting to be hung but otherwise, the house is in order.

But if you look behind the cabinet and closet doors that is a different matter! I will spend several days going back and reorganizing all of them. I needed to get everything out and in a cabinet so I know how much I have and then go back and reorganize it all. I will have to reduce the number of canned goods I have by a lot. The food panty shelves are way too full and I can’t find anything in there. Some food pantry will get a nice donation in the next couple of days.

I went to Emporia early afternoon to sign papers on the close of the house. Only had two minor glitches but it is done. I had paid the second half of the property taxes and they held those out so I will get a check as a refund in the next two weeks. They had also credited me for $30 for the quarterly trash payment but the trash guy wouldn’t transfer the bill so I paid the buyer the $30 in cash back. They are going to wire transfer the proceeds and I probably won’t get them until Monday and maybe Tuesday.

I dropped off a picture that I had broke the glass out while moving it at the frame store. They said they should have it done sometime next week.

I then went to exercise. I was very tired and teary when I went and my trainer could tell I was spent. She was so gentle with me and allowed me to vent for about 10 minutes before we started. She offered to let me out of exercise today but I told her I would try it and see what happened.

I was able to do all the exercises and it felt good to do so. It helped get me grounded and centered. I so appreciated my trainer and her sweet understanding and compassion with me today.

I met Jason for lunch afterwards. It was good to see him and have a conversation. I had invited Michelle and kids too but Tagen had to work, Ellexia was with her dad and Michelle was going to come but then remembered she had to do something else.

I stopped at Walmart afterwards to pick up some things for the house. I got to the home goods isle and had to go to the bathroom. I went quickly to the front of the store and found the bathrooms were taped shut. I had to sit down on a bench for a bit to prevent a disaster. I left the store and never did get what I wanted. I drove to Flying J and made it in and prevented an accident. Sometimes getting old sucks!

I will go to Walmart another day and get what I need. Nothing was absolutely urgent and all could wait for an easier day.

I came home and sat down in my chair and fell asleep in minutes. I took a two hour nap and woke up feeling better than I have for several days. I think the emotion of the week had caught up with me and I was ready to let go. Things have slowed down since my nap.

What a week this has been. I feel several pounds lighter on both an emotional and physical level. My belongings have been pared down to necessities and my house size cut down by 80%. I have let go and let go and let go of physical things and emotional ties. No wonder my tummy decided to let go today too!

I am pleased with how the house is coming together. I still have lots of reorganizing to do but that will be done a little at a time over the next weeks. I love the front porch and sitting on it. I do miss the wide open spaces but this feels like home to me already.

It will take me a hot minute or two to adjust my thinking. I have been obsessed these last three months with this move and most all of my to-do list was related to the move. All of a sudden I will have lots of free time with nothing urgent to fill it. Time to turn my time and attention inward and focus on rebuilding a new lifestyle for myself.

People have begun asking me for my new address. It is 421 Plum St., Cottonwood Falls, KS 66845.

Grateful for closing on the sale of my country house today, grateful for long afternoon naps, and grateful for my trainer’s care and compassion today.

What a day! I was only able to sleep about four hours last night again. I slept for two hours and then got up and did some things and then got two more hours of sleep. I took a nap this afternoon and got another hour of sleep. One of these nights I am going to crash and sleep a long time.

After my first sleep I got up and managed to hook up the washer and dryer. I was unreasonably proud of myself! I needed to do laundry badly as I was out of pants to wear and necessity drove my need to get out of fear and get that job done. Had a little trouble figuring out how to turn the water on at the valve but figured it out. The washer lines didn’t leak and the dryer vent seemed to do its thing without letting lint escape.

I was on a roll so fired up my computer and managed to get the new internet service going on it and got the printer on-line. Felt good to get that up and running. It even went easy for me today! I almost decided not to do anything else that day so my streak wouldn’t get broken. I emptied out three more boxes and even that went quick and easy.

I am down to only three more boxes to unpack. Got the dining room, laundry room and bathroom box free this morning. Got tired of emptying boxes and didn’t get the last three in the kitchen unloaded.

Kathy and I went to the other house this morning to clean. Unfortunately we filled more boxes with stuff that needed to come here. We got the country house cleaned – kinda. It isn’t as clean as I would like but we are both exhausted and didn’t have it in us to do more.

Kathy left after a bit and went to town to get the dogs. They have been boarded at the Vets and were bathed and groomed. I stayed at the house and did a bit more cleaning. I sat down and had a good cry. It was overdue and felt good. That house was a special place and I am ever so grateful for all the people I met because of that house. I will carry those memories for a long time.

Came home and unloaded my full car of stuff. Kathy brought Roxy home but Sophia wasn’t ready yet so Kathy had to go back this afternoon and get her. After I got my car unloaded I took a one hour nap.

After my nap I went back to the country house to meet two young guys that made stuff go away. They loaded up a pickup and brought the file cabinet that had gotten forgotten along with about 12 more boxes. They delivered all that here and then we went back to the country house.

They filled the back of the pickup to overflowing with stuff that needs to go to the dump. They worked very hard and efficiently and lifted those heavy things like they didn’t weigh anything. They were fun to work with. The dump closes at 5:00 so they are going to take it to the dump tomorrow.

Both of them found things that they took home. I had a mini trampoline and a tower fan that I didn’t have room for. They also found a tire and wheel, a four-way tire thingy, and a hand saw. They also salvaged some totes. It was good to see things go to a different home and not have to be thrown away.

I brought some things that I am going to have to find a different home for. I’ll probably put them on the corner of my yard and make a post and let people come take them away. I do have two lamps that were in the living room of the country house that I need to find a home for. I really liked them but just don’t have a place for them here.

It is going to take me a hot minute or two to get used to two indoor dogs and two cats. Although I haven’t been able to catch my outdoor cat from the country house. She may have decided not to move. I’ll see what happens tomorrow. Sophia is still feeling the effects of the sedation and is throwing up and sleeping lots. Roxy will not go on a walk. Poor things, this is a big change for them too.

The kids went to Wichita today to make Craig’s final arrangements. His service is going to be in Wichita at 11:00 on May 11at the Unity of Wichita church which is located at 2160 N Oliver in Wichita. The kids are planning on hosting a beer Friday reception at a later date in Emporia too. It was a hard day for them but it sounds like they helped each other get through it.

Not sure I am going to attempt to unpack many boxes tonight. It is so discouraging to get a room free of boxes and then make a big mess and load up the rooms with boxes again. I will get to them when I get to them. I am exhausted tonight and am barely holding on.

Tomorrow is pay day. I sign papers at 1:00 tomorrow! Man! This signing feels like it has been a long time coming. It will be a huge relief when it is official. After signing, I will go to exercise and then I need to stop and get some things the house needs. I might even get some real food and fix my first real meal in this house.

Our front porch is full of empty boxes and other stuff we loaded on to it from today. My goal in the morning is to clean all that stuff up and not have this house look like we just moved in. The person that was to have come get the empty boxes changed her mind and didn’t take them away. I will have to take a big load to recycling tomorrow if there is room in the trailer for them.

The good news is that other than exercise three times next week, I don’t have anything on my calendar. I can slow things down, allow myself to let some hard feelings out and finish getting this house put together. It is such a relief to know the other house is empty and no more boxes will be coming in. I have tons of organizing to do and sometime next week I need to get out to the shed and put it in order. All in good time and no rush for any of it.

I may offer myself some grace and take a day or two off and do nothing. My body is asking for a break and my soul needs some breathing space. It has been hard to relax this week but am hoping the closing tomorrow will give me the closure I need and I can relax about that.

This has been one hard week. With Craig’s passing it added a layer of complexity to the week I had not expected. I am about as tired as I remember being but am struggling to relax enough to sleep. Have my fingers crossed that after closing tomorrow I can relax some and figure out a way to give myself a rest day.

All is well. Until I loaded the house up with the last of the boxes it was in relatively good shape here. I already know I will enjoy living here and it will be perfect for Kathy and I until the new house is ready. So much less to care for and clean.

Grateful the country house is empty, grateful the kids were able to make final arrangements to honor Craig today, and grateful that tomorrow is pay day!

I had trouble going to sleep last night. Finally got two hours of sleep between 2:30 and 4:30. Got back up and unpacked for two hours then went back to bed and got another two hours of sleep.

Found out yesterday early evening that Craig, the father of my kids and my ex-husband had died. He had been sick for several months, We all kept hoping he would get better but that wasn’t to be. The kids and grandkids had gone to see him Sunday, They and I are grateful for that.

It is hard to see the kids hurt and not be able to help much. Craig was a larger than life figure in their lives and will be missed by each of them. Service arrangements are pending.

Went to the old house this morning to meet Jason’s mover. Jason had some repair people coming to his new house and couldn’t be in two places at the same time. I made sure the movers had what they were to take and sent them to town with Jason’s belongings.

After those movers were done, I went to Emporia. I needed to add renter’s insurance and cancel the insurance on my other house. I also switched one of the rental houses to this company. Got that all taken care of.

Went to the Chiropractor for my weekly adjustment. He found lots of things to work on today for some reason! He told me to come back in early next week.

Stopped by Jason’s new house and took a tour. It will work perfect for him. It is good to see him getting settled into his own place. He has had a lot happening to him lately and getting moved into his own place is good for him.

Went to lunch and then came home. Kathy helped me arrange the living room. We tried a couple arrangements and found one I think we like. We put the heavy rug down which was chaos as there are still boxes and stuff everywhere it doesn’t belong. We would move it one place and then move it back. The living room is done though and the number of pieces in it have been minimized. I still have one extra piece in the living room that is going to its new home Friday.

Have a coffee table and end table that I can’t find a place for. I had three boxes of books that needed to go away. I also have a huge stack of empty boxes and wrapping paper that need to go away. Two friends came over and one took the three boxes of books and the other took the coffee table. I put the boxes on Chase County Cares and Shares Site and someone is picking those up later today. Only have the end table to get rid of. That was easy!

I didn’t make it to exercise today. I may try to do the video by myself later today but I may skip it. I am exhausted on several levels and it feels like it is too much. I will offer myself grace this week and then get back to my normal routine next week.

I still have the dining room and kitchen to finish up. I am down to about 10 boxes to unpack. I need to get them all unpacked so I know what I have and then I can make more decisions about what to put where. The racks in the back porch are working even better than I had hoped they would. I have turned the back porch into a pantry. I will need to reorganize them when I get everything I am putting out there on them. I may need to get some containers or baskets to help keep like things together. We shall see when I get it all unpacked and how much space I have.

My bedroom is box free. I still have lots of pictures to hang and a bookcase to reduce what I have on it but otherwise my bedroom is good to go. I also have to finish the bathroom and laundry room. I haven’t attempted to hook up the washer and dryer yet either.

I did get the yard mowed today. I need to do some push mowing but not sure I can find the push mower in the shed. I was afraid to look for it so the little bit left of the yard that needs mowed is going to wait. I will deal with that next week.

Tomorrow I have to go to the old house and finish cleaning it. I still have several loads to bring in from there. I need to find someone with a pickup as I forgot to have the movers move a file cabinet and I also have a load that needs to go to the dump. I sent a message to a kid I have used before. I hope he sees it and is able to help me out tomorrow after school. Not sure what I am going to do if he can’t do it.

I may need to go to Jason’s tomorrow morning to meet a repair guy. Jason needs to go to Wichita to help make funeral arrangements. Helping Jason out will take priority over cleaning. I still have Friday morning to clean if it comes down to that.

Closing is still set for 1:00 Friday. They asked me for banking information today so am rather confident that it is a go, What a relief it will be to see that money in my bank account.

Hoping by the end of the weekend that all rooms in the house will be box free and things will pretty much be where I want them. I may still have some organizing to do but am thinking that will happen a couple of times as I live in the house and realize ways to better situate things.

I am a bit discouraged that I am not further along but with the shock of hearing about Craig I need to offer myself some grace. The kids have rightly needed some of my energy and time last night and today and that has become my priority. The boxes can wait another day or two or three.

What a couple of days this has been. Craig’s passing added a layer of emotion to this week that I wasn’t expecting. It is beautiful to see my three kids pull together and help each other through this. This is a hard one and will take time for them to process it.

I am barely holding myself at the neutral level. I have felt myself slip into an observer role and have felt myself detaching from the emotion of it all. I will need to allow myself time to feel my emotions and will do that soon.

Grateful for the life and love of Craig, grateful for my kids and how they are handling this, and grateful this move is almost complete.

I had to go back to the house to talk to Jason this evening so grabbed my iPad. I need to write tonight to process this jam packed day.

The movers showed up at 9:45. They turned down the wrong lane. The driver tried to back up the semi trailer so I went down and told him my neighbor had a turn around place in the driveway that might be easier. He went down and did that and finally got up to my house.

I was afraid it was going to be a long day after that start but the crew turned out to be courteous and efficient. They sent six people – five guys and one lady. The driver sat in the back of the semi and did something with items as they were loaded. Two of the six were especially strong and quick.

We were loaded and ready to go to town in about three hours time. They put blankets on anything that wasn’t in a box. That took the most time I think. Because they brought a semi, they stayed in the driveway and the crew had to carry things a long ways. The younger guys lifted those pieces like they didn’t weigh anything.

They headed to Cottonwood about 1:00 and stopped at Casey and took a lunch break. They made it to the new house around 2:15. They headed home around 4:30. The only thing that broke was one tower fan and a light bulb on the front porch. Otherwise, everything got here is good shape.

I have about half of the boxes unpacked. The number of boxes was overwhelming. I kept asked the crew if they were making boxes in the truck. I didn’t think they were ever going to quit bringing in boxes.

Grateful I got a large shed as it is full. I will have to spend some time organizing it next week. I haven’t gone out there since they left as it will depress me! I have too much stuff!!!

I didn’t realize we missed having the crew load a closet full of stuff. I found it when I went back to the house this evening. Dang it anyways. I’ll have to figure out how to get a heavy file cabinet out of the closet and into this house. There are four more boxes in that closet too! I swear the boxes keep having babies and multiplied when I turned my back on them.

Jason decided last night he didn’t want to take the big green recliner. I listed it on Marketplace and a lady responded in about two minutes. She and her husband came and picked it up this afternoon. That was easy. I had to go to the other house to do chicken chores and met the lady then.

I have a curio/book case cabinet that I need to get rid of. We just don’t have room for it. I listed it and have had about six people interested in it. I think it is sold, I will know for sure tomorrow.

Still haven’t gotten the living room or kitchen put together yet. Kathy got her room all looking nice but that is the only room in the house that isn’t full of boxes. Maybe by tomorrow evening another room or two will be box free.

I know I have too many end tables in the living room. I haven’t been able to arrange that room yet as there are too many boxes in the way. Hopefully I will be able to get rid of the extra piece easy like I did the recliner.

I didn’t do my exercises today. I couldn’t find my gym bag and decided I got lots of exercise today anyways. I can do them Saturday and make up for it. I reached my limit today and just couldn’t do it.

I can’t find my pill box. I probably left it at the other house. It will be good when we get 100% moved and everything is in one house. That will happen by Thursday evening. I will go to the other house tomorrow and find the pill box. It won’t hurt me to miss my pills tonight.

The other house is going to need lots of cleaning. The wind was a blowing today and all the doors were propped open all day. It was dirty before and is really dirty now. Kathy and I wiped out kitchen cabinets while the crew was loading the house. At least that part is done.

We had a brief thunderstorm this evening. Sure hard to tell what is coming at me in town. I can’t see the horizon to know what is going on. That is going to take some time to get used to.

Have to go to Emporia tomorrow for exercise and to see the Chiropractor. I have a feeling the Chiropractor will find lots to work on tomorrow. I am one sore and tired puppy tonight.

Grateful the majority of the move is over safely, grateful for all that has been unpacked, and grateful for my kids tonight.

What a day. I was at the house in town by 8:15 this morning. I took a car load of things that I needed to hand carry to the new house as well as two big bags of meat to put in the freezer.

The internet guy showed up as promised right on time at 8:30. He got the internet up and running for us. It only took him about 20 minutes to get us going.

Phil had replaced the hot water heater yesterday so that is fixed and ready for use. So very grateful for Phil.

Came home and took a nap. I had woken up early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had gotten up and packed a bunch of boxes. When I got home I got overwhelmed and things felt hard so I put myself in time-out and took a nap.

Woke up feeling much better. I finished packing most of the main level. At 2:00, Kathy helped me take Sophia and Roxy to the Vet. They are going to get a spa treatment and be boarded at the Vet’s office until Thursday. Sophia seemed to take it in stride but Roxy was pissed. The Vet may need to sedate them to give them their haircuts.

Went to exercise after I dropped the dogs off. We used resistance bands today. Not my favorite type of exercise but I powered through and it went fairly quickly.

Came home afterwards. I asked Kathy to help me disconnect the washer and dryer. The dryer was easy. Had trouble getting the hoses free from the wall. The turn-off valve on one of them wouldn’t shut off all the way. I had to turn the water to the whole house off so we could work on it. No matter what we did, we couldn’t get it to turn off.

I put out an SOS to Phil and he came out, bless his heart. Discovered the valve was defective and needs to be replaced. Phil hooked the hose up to the leaking value and the other end to the other valve – genius. He is coming back tomorrow or Wednesday with a new valve.

Guess this house had to give me a parting gift. What is it about water issues and me? Even the new house got in on it by welcoming me to the new house with a leaking water heater. What’s a girl to do?

A dear friend invited us over for dinner tonight. It was a very enjoyable dinner and so nice to have real food. I have been living on peanut butter and honey sandwiches lately and have missed real food. The company was great too!

The movers let me know they will be here between 9:00 and 10:00 in the morning. Not sure how many will be coming and how long it will take to load me up. I sure have a lot of boxes. Sure thinking I still have too much stuff. Guess I will find out tomorrow when I start unpacking.

I’ll get up early tomorrow morning and pack the last bits and pieces. I will need to pack my bedding, a few more dishes, etc. I am grateful I can come back after the movers are done and go through everything one more time. I have been told the movers won’t move anything that isn’t boxed, except for furniture. I still have some things that won’t fit in boxes so will see what happens tomorrow.

This is my last night to sleep in this house. After over ten years in this house it will be a big change. Still know that this move is in my best and highest interest. Change is hard sometimes but my gut is telling me to do this. Sometimes I have to jump off a cliff and trust that the universe has my back and will catch me when I jump.

What a beautiful day it was today. The sun is giving me one last awesome sunset to remember. There isn’t even much wind tonight. I sure am going to miss these views.

The company doing the closing on the house Friday emailed me today and requested copies of the invoices for the EFIS and guttering work. Sorry, those are packed and I have no idea which box they are in. I told them it would be Thursday before I could find them. Hope it doesn’t delay the closing. Wish they had said something last week.

The moving company called me today to request payment. Got that taken care of so we are good to go tomorrow.

I think I can, I think I can. Tomorrow is finally the day. Big life change.

Grateful for friends that feed both my body and spirit, grateful tomorrow is The Day, and grateful for morning naps that can reset a day.

Went to Emporia this morning to get more boxes. Not sure that I will need them but thinking I will. They didn’t have a lot of them but I should have enough now to get me fully packed.

The house is about 85% packed. I filled box after box as I did the pantry. Really thinking it won’t all fit. Guess I will discard what won’t fit Wednesday. I am working in short bursts today. Work for a bit, stop for a bit, rinse and repeat all day long.

It was sprinkling and turned into light rain to and from Emporia this morning. It has since cleared off and we have mostly clear skies this afternoon. So appreciated what rain we got and especially appreciated that the severe stuff went around us.

The yard will need mowed when it dries out a bit. I may go out yet today and mow a bit of it. It may still be too wet to mow. If I can’t get it done tomorrow, I won’t be able to do it before Friday when I close. My new mower is being moved Tuesday.

Feeling a bit out of sorts today. I get overwhelmed when I see how much stuff I still have to pack and think about the small space I am moving into. I am not good at visualizing space and knowing how much will fit. I also don’t like cluttered and crowded cabinets. Guess when I unpack on Wednesday I will find out how much is too much.

Still want to get down to the barn today and make sure it is clear what I am moving. I may not get all the cleaning done down there today I want to do, but I still have a couple days to get that done. Not very high on my priority list for the day.

Tomorrow I have to be at the new house by 8:30 to wait for the internet guy to show up. I will take a car load when I go of stuff that is too big to fit in my boxes. I also want to take a load of beef to put in the refrigerator freezer. Tomorrow afternoon I take the dogs to the Vet so they can be boarded for a couple of nights and to be bathed and groomed. I also have exercise at 3:00.

I told Kathy we may need to eat out tomorrow as I am packing and closing down this kitchen. It will be the last room I finish packing tomorrow. It is pretty empty now although I haven’t packed the plates, silverware, and pots and pans yet.

Hard to believe I only have 48 hours left in this house. I have waited a long three months for this to happen and am grateful it is finally time to move. I will come back Thursday to deep clean this empty house and it will give me a chance to find anything I missed.

Have a feeling this week is going to be busy and I am going to be one tired puppy at the end of it. Moving is a huge job with lots of parts to it. I am about emotionally spent. Trusting I won’t have many surprises that I will have to deal with this week. Not sure I have much patience to do so.

Just think, by this time next week this will all be behind me and I can begin to figure out what I want to do with all my free time. I am holding on to that thought to give me some light to look forward to this week.

Sitting with a mixed bag of emotions today. Grieving leaving this house and all the memories it holds, looking forward to a new life style, and dreading the hard work of the final moving process this week. Sometimes one has to go through hard things to find what they are seeking.

Grateful for the rain the prairie received yesterday, grateful the severe weather passed me by, and grateful most of the packing is complete.

Met Phil at the new house at 10:45 to help him load the washer and dryer to take to Michelle’s house. I stopped at the hardware store on the way and got some flex tubing for the dryer vent in case we needed it.

The A/C guys had removed the old window A/C unit and put it on the porch. Phil said he could make it go away for me so I gave it to him. The A/C guys left a gift basket from Sweet Granada as a thank you gift. I took it to town and gave it to Tagen’s girlfriend for her 18th birthday present which was last week. That timing worked well.

It took about 40 minutes to get the washer and dryer loaded up and then we headed to Emporia. I stopped at Sutherland’s and got new water hoses for the washer and then went to Michelle’s house.

Phil showed up after a bit and switched out the washer and dryer. He hauled the old ones away. That was easy – for me at least. He is going to buy me a new water heater for the new house and get it installed either tomorrow or Monday. Whatever would I do without him?

My motto of the day was make things go away. Phil helped me out by making the washer, dryer and window A/C unit go away. So very grateful.

I took Tagen and Ellexia to Bruff’s for lunch afterwards. It is a treat for this grandma to get to have lunch with her grandkids. They both ate well and Tagen helped me clean up my plate. I invited them to come out tomorrow for one last walk through this house. I took them home after lunch and then I drove home.

I packed a couple of boxes of stuff in the kitchen. I have found one more box full of things to take to the Salvation Army and am starting to fill a second box. I still have another box or two I can pack early but most of the rest needs to wait till Monday to pack.

It is raining on the prairie today. Hallelujah! Unfortunately we are under the threat of severe stuff before the day is over. Tornadoes are starting to break out around us. Crossing my fingers and toes we only get rain and no severe stuff. We shall see what happens.

Both Chase County and Emporia High have their proms tonight. Trusting the officials will help keep all the kids safe during the expected severe weather. Not a good day for prom with all the rain.

I didn’t fall asleep until about 4:30 this morning. Not sure what my problem was but sleep was hard to find last night. I got up a couple times and got a couple more boxes packed during the night. Guess the night was good for something other than sleep. It is gently raining and it may be perfect napping weather. I may give in and get some more sleep.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I will do more packing and start cleaning out the kitchen cabinets as I empty them. I had cleaned them all really well earlier this year so most of them aren’t too dirty. I do want to take a cooler full of meat to the new house to put in the freezer part of the refrigerator. I will need to fill the cooler again on Tuesday when it is moving day and don’t have room in it for all that is in the freezer.

I got a jury duty questionnaire that I have to fill out and return within five days. This seems to happen for me about every three years. It has been a long time since I had to actually show up for jury selection. I’ve served twice before but it has been years. Hoping that streak continues.

The jury duty request thing reminded me I need to get my driver’s license address changed and register to vote with my new address. I had forgotten to put those two things on my list of places to notify about my address change.

I’ll have to put my muck boots and long raincoat on in a bit and go down and do chicken chores. I sure won’t miss doing chores after next Friday when we have days like this.

Monday I have to meet the internet people at the new house at 8:30. In the afternoon I take the dogs to the Vet and then have exercise. While I am in town I need to stop by the insurance agent and finalize insurance for the new house and add the other rental property to my plan.

Tuesday is moving day! It seems like it has been a long time coming. So grateful it is here. I’m excited to get moved and get settled in my temporary new house. What a change it is will be but it feels like it is the right thing to do.

Things keep getting taken care of. My pending list and to-do list is getting shorter everyday. I’m in real good shape for the move on Tuesday. All my hard work these last 90 days is paying off. Trusting the weather will cooperate and we will have blue skies with little wind on moving day.

Grateful three more big things went away today, grateful for Phil and his handyman abilities, and grateful for the time I got to spend with Tagen and Ellexia today.

Went to the new house before 9:00 this morning to meet the crew that is installing central air. They showed up around 10:00. When I went back at 3:30 they were still at it and not sure they could finish today. They will have to come back Monday to finish up if they can’t get it done today.

I came back home after the guys got oriented to where things are at the new house. I packed a few more boxes and found some more stuff that needs taken to the Salvation Army.

Went to Emporia at 1:00 as I needed to go to Walmart and then exercise. While I was at the new house this morning I attempted to hang a shower curtain. The rod I ordered didn’t work. It said it was adjustable but it didn’t adjust to the width I needed. I picked up another one at Walmart and a few groceries I needed.

Went to exercise. Man it was hard to go today. Just wasn’t in the mood to exercise but I made it through. Not a fun session by any means but I was proud of myself for showing up. I almost called and canceled and decided I couldn’t let myself do that.

Went back to the new house when I was finished with exercise to pay for the new central air. The guys are to remove the window A/C unit and I reminded them not to forget that. It is too heavy for me to take out of the window. I will give it away once it gets to the porch. Anyone need one?

I told the guys I would come back later and lock up the house. I’m tired today and didn’t feel like hanging around for an hour or more while they finished up.

I was to have gotten a call from the moving company yesterday or today so they could take payment for the move on Tuesday. Their email had said I had to pay a minimum of 48 hours in advance of the move. I called them this afternoon as they didn’t call. The guy that handles the payments was out of the office today. The guy that did the bid told me they would call me Monday and take care of it. Wish they would do what they said they were going to do the first time. Hope I don’t run into issues not paying 48 hours in advance.

Tomorrow late morning I am meeting Phil at the new house and he is going to unhook the washer and dryer and take them to Michelle. While he is there I need to ask him about the hot water heater. We noticed today that it is leaking. It will probably need replaced. Dang it anyways. My unlucky streak with house repairs is bleeding over to the new house already. Hoping this is the only thing that will be an issue.

While I was at the new house, I noticed the internet hookup box had a wire coming out of it that has a strange plug on it. I called the internet service and found out there should be a modem that the strange wire attaches to. Evidently the renter took the equipment with her when she moved. They are coming Monday morning at 8:30 to bring another one and get the internet up and running. I’m grateful I noticed it today so it can get taken care of early next week.

I managed to get the new shower curtain rod up and the shower curtain and liner put up. The second try was easy and I’m grateful that little job is done.

We are in a tornado watch for this evening and tomorrow evening the possibility of tornadoes is even higher. Yikes! Trusting this house won’t suffer any damage. i don’t think I would handle it well if it does.

A week from today I will officially be done with this house. We close next Friday at 1:00. That will be a huge relief to me to get the check for the sale of this house. It has been a lot of work to get to this point these last couple of months. Hoping next week is easier than the last couple of weeks have been.

This has not been an easy day for me. Things have felt hard and I am tired. I’m glad to get my grumpy day over with as the next couple days will be busy with packing, etc. I can feel the change in the weather and the pressure changing. Making me a bit restless and anxious this afternoon. The wind has been in a big hurry today. One thing I will not miss from living on top of a hill is the sound of the wind.

Need to go down and do chicken chores. Seven more days of doing them and then I will be done with them. I will miss the cash stash of the money from selling eggs. Won’t miss the daily grind of doing chores and will especially not miss the monthly coop clean out.

Tomorrow I need to get down to the barn and get it ready. I have a mess to clean up down there and then I need to make sure what I am taking is piled up together so the movers will know what goes. I have the garage ready, I think. I will also go downstairs and do any last packing from there and make sure things are sorted and piled so the movers will know what to take.

Sunday and Monday I will finish packing the upstairs. I will close the kitchen and get it packed Monday morning. I’ve waited to do the kitchen and bathroom as I use those things daily. I will pack a bag Monday morning and then pack everything else. Sure will be glad when everything is out and in the new house. I’m tired of waiting for the move to happen.

Grumpy day. Good thing I haven’t had to be around many people today. I think I will put myself in time-out for the rest of the day and not try to do anything else. I need to get grounded and centered and prepare myself for a busy week next week. All is well even when I am out of sorts.

Grateful I managed to make myself go to exercise today, grateful the shower curtain is hung, and grateful the new house will have central air when I need it when it warms up.

A busy day around here. I fixed a taco lunch for my friend and her friend that came down from Manhattan. Kathy joined us for lunch. My friends and I visited for a bit. I took them on a tour of the house and showed them what I still needed to get rid of. To my great relief, she found some things that she will take. She has to come back next week to get them.

I took them into Cottonwood Falls and showed them the new house. Every time I go in that house I wonder if what I am taking will fit. I guess I will find out Tuesday. While I was in town I mailed the final payment to a contractor that finished up the hail restoration project. So very grateful that project got completed before the house closing.

My friend’s friend took down the wall hanging that was hanging over my bed. I had no idea how to take it down and he had it down in just minutes. Grateful to have that little project done.

After they left I went back to Cottonwood Falls for happy hour at a friend’s house. It was fun to sit and visit with other friends. Came home and did the chicken chores. It was a bit of a challenge to walk back up to the house in the high wind.

We have had some rain on the prairie today, guessing over an inch. Cottonwood Falls got some hail today but it skipped over my house here, thank heavens. The last thing I need is storm damage before I close on the sale a week from tomorrow.

I took a bunch more pictures off walls today and need to patch the holes and paint over them. I may get that done yet tonight. I found the paint for the master bedroom and bathroom so I know I can do those two rooms. Still need to find the paint for the living room and dining room. I may not have any as I think we scrapped the bottom of the bucket when I had these rooms painted after Jim left.

Tomorrow I have to be at the new house by 9:00 to wait for the A/C installation guys to get there. I may take a few boxes of stuff and unpack them while I am waiting. I need something to do while I am there. I can get the kitchen cabinets wiped out and cleaned if nothing else. I’ll have to go to Emporia Friday afternoon for exercise so am hoping the A/C guys will be done. Guess I can leave them alone if not.

Nothing on my calendar for the weekend except Saturday morning Phil is going to come to the new house and remove the washer and dryer and deliver them to Michelle. Her dryer is going bad and this dryer is fairly new. I will get some packing done Saturday afternoon and Sunday and then finish up all the packing on Monday.

Monday I take the dogs to the Vet to be boarded for a couple of days. While they are there, they get the spa treatment and will be washed and given haircuts. Still not sure taking the dogs to town is the right thing to do but will give it a try and see what happens.

The movers will be here Tuesday morning to load me and then will unload at the new house Tuesday afternoon. It will be exciting to finally get moved. Wednesday I will get things all unpacked and then come back out here Thursday to clean. Friday is closing day.

I have planned and worked towards next week for the last three months. Not sure I have fully comprehended that it is here at last. I am looking forward to getting my life back and doing something other than planning a move and getting rid of stuff.

With the things that my friend is going to take, I think I am done with giving things away. I do still have some nightstands to get rid of but I may just have to leave those. I did pretty darn good getting rid of things.

Sitting in a good spot today mentally. It was fun visiting with friends today. I trust I haven’t underestimated how long it will take me to pack the rest of the stuff. I will call for help on Monday afternoon if it looks like I did. Several friends have offered to come help pack if needed.

Grateful for dear friends that lift my spirits, grateful the great giveaway project is all but complete, and grateful for the rain that fell on the prairie today.

I had the most delightful evening last night. 11 of us gathered for a pot roast dinner with the trimmings and then we watched the sunset to the west and the moon rising to the east. Everything I fixed was edible, conversation was lively, and a good time was had by all – I think.

The moonrise was very subtle and hard to see for a bit. The pink moon was full and a beautiful shade of pink while it was low on the horizon. It really started to shine about 30 minutes after it rose.

I took my guests on a tour of the house pointing out things I still needed to get rid of and everyone that came found something that they took home. Yay! More things out of the house that I don’t have to deal with.

One of my guests from last night came back today and took down the TV out of the study and took it and the holding rack from the wall home. I had no clue how to dismantle the holding rack the TV was on so that solved two problems for me.

After he left, I patched all the nail holes in that room and painted over them. One room down with paint touchups and lots more rooms to go.

I went to Emporia late morning. I dropped off yet another load at Salvation Army. I went to see my Chiropractor and got my weekly adjustment. Then I stopped by the design store and picked up the kitchen cabinet and countertop samples that they ordered for me. I also got a sample of the floor vinyl that is going down in the bathrooms and laundry room. I then went to Emporia Fitness for my 50 minute exercise time. We did yoga today and it felt good to stretch out my body.

I stopped for lunch afterwards and then came home. It was a productive trip to town again.

Tomorrow a friend and her guest are coming for lunch. It will be good to see them. He is a handyman and I have one little project I am going to ask him to do for me. I will enjoy having them here for a bit tomorrow.

I may try to get some more rooms nail holes patched and painted today and tomorrow. That is an easy enough project and one I would feel better for taking care of before I leave this house. Still a bit too early to pack most things and that would give me something productive to do until it is time to pack.

Feeling a bit sleepy today. While I was doing exercise I kept yawning and that seems to be continuing this afternoon. I actually got a good night’s sleep last night so not sure why I am yawning so much.

Jason decided not to take the couch that is downstairs. If anyone knows of someone that needs a couch that is in good shape let me know and they can come get it. Otherwise, I am just going to leave it in the house. I can’t handle getting it outside and it won’t fit in my car. I am done with Marketplace and don’t have the energy to deal with selling it.

Friday I go back to Emporia in the afternoon for exercise. Friday morning I am meeting the contractor that is putting in the new central air at the new house. Saturday I can start packing in earnest.

I have a few things to load into my car to take to the new house when I go Friday. The mover wants most everything in boxes and I don’t have boxes that a lot of the pictures that were on the walls can fit in so I am going to hand carry those. We also have to move the plants ourselves. I want to take a cooler of meat to put in the freezer of the refrigerator at the new house as the freezer will have to be off to be moved.

We are possibly going to have some thunderstorms and even some severe weather the next couple of days. Grateful I am not moving during that. So far the forecast for next Tuesday is calling for clear skies and temperatures as high as 81.

Hard to believe moving day is only 6 days away. This deal to sale this house started back in January. That seems like a long time ago. I have been consumed since the end of January with this move. It will be so good to get settled in the new house and get on with the rest of my life.

Sitting in a good head space today. Last night was so much fun and gave me a much needed love lift that will carry me through the move. I am so grateful I am not moving away from this group of friends and they will all still be a part of my circle of life.

Grateful for a wonderful evening with my friends last night, grateful more things left my house yesterday and today, and grateful the nail hole patch/painting job has begun.

I think I have dinner for 11 people almost ready. Just need to make the beer bread muffins last minute and then all will be ready. I even have the tables set and it is only 3:00. I am so looking forward to this group of friends coming over tonight. The clouds have cleared and am trusting they will stay clear so we can all watch the full pink moon rise tonight.

I got a bit of cleaning done. I did what I call a lick and a promise clean. My house is still very dirty if you look close. Hopefully the house will be full enough tonight that no one will look too deep. There are boxes and totes everywhere – maybe they will serve as a distraction. I will clean really good next week once the house is empty. We move out on Tuesday but don’t close on the sale until Friday. That should give me plenty of time to get unpacked at the new house and then come back and get this house clean.

I went to Strong City this afternoon to get ice. Walmart was out yesterday. Luckily the gas station on the highway had some today. When I got home Kathy had taken the trash down to the curb. Thanks Kathy! We loaded up the wheelbarrow and she took that down too. The back of my car is full of stuff I need to drop off tomorrow at the Salvation Army.

I haven’t made it down to the barn to sweep up the trash down there today. Don’t think I will make it down there. I have one last trash day next Tuesday and will take care of it then. I had lots of extra bags from stuff I found to throw out in the garage. I hate loading up the pile too big for the trash guys.

Did some laundry today. I washed the rugs in the guest bathroom and they literally fell apart. I think I can get one more week out of them before they will go to the trash. My dryer was full of the backing that came off of them while they were drying. That will be the last time I will wash them as they will not make it through another wash and dry.

One week from today is moving day. Oh my! It is about to get real fast. I had ordered a small file holder thingy that came in today. It will work just fine and that means I don’t need the four drawer file cabinet. Kathy might use it as her dresser. We will take it and see if it will work for her and if not she will have to get a dresser and I will have to get rid of the file cabinet.

Tomorrow I have another load to drop off at the Salvation Army. The lady I ordered my kitchen cabinets and countertops let me know the samples of the product I am getting came in and I need to stop and pick them up. I will go to the Chiropractor after that and then at noon I go to exercise. I don’t think I have any other errands to take care of after exercise.

So far it looks like I can stay home on Thursday. I have some friends coming for lunch on Thursday which will be fun. After that lunch I think my hosting duties are over at this house and I can start packing the kitchen and pantry.

Friday the new central air is getting installed at the new house so will go to town to let those guys in to do that job. I have exercise mid afternoon Friday so will have to go to Emporia for that. I also need to pay the moving company Friday as they require payment in advance.

My rental house business partner called me today to let me know he is retiring May 31. He has been a wonderful business partner and I hate that I will no longer have him managing some of my rentals. He sure deserves a wonderful retirement and I’m happy for him and wish him the best. He is still a good friend and will allow me to call him with real estate questions and to get his wise advice.

Lots of changes in store for me. This move feels like a reset and lifestyle change. Sure looking forward to having lots less to keep clean. Trust I have gotten rid of enough stuff and the house won’t feel crowded and stuffed full of stuff. I need space to breathe and can’t do it if a room is cluttered.

Had trouble sleeping last night. The couple nights before that I had managed to get more sleep than is normal for me. Sure wish I knew what causes me not to be able to sleep like last night. Can’t quite put my finger on the cause and the solution to my sleep issues.

Only have to do the chicken chores 10 more times. The chickens are staying put and the new owners will become their caretakers. I sure will miss the fresh eggs and the egg money stash. I won’t miss the daily grind of doing the chores and the monthly coop clean out. I especially won’t miss the walk down there during the cold, winter months and the challenge of keeping their water from freezing and the doors from freezing shut. My chicken herding days are quickly coming to an end.

Grateful for a beautiful day today, grateful friends are coming for dinner, and grateful I have one more week till moving day.

I went to Emporia a little after noon today. Dropped by my insurance agent’s office to notify them I am selling this house, added content insurance at the house I am moving to, and gave them information on a rental property to get insurance. I trust this go around with him will go easy and we won’t have to try three times to get things right.

Dropped off a full car load at the Salvation Army. I had three boxes of books to drop off at the Friends of the Library but changed my mind. All of a sudden I have started reading again and decided I wanted to go through the boxes again to make sure I want to get rid of them. I have determined at this point that I have room for both book cases at the new house. I may have to get rid of the books but decided to wait to see how many I have room for.

Went to exercise. We did yoga today. I actually worked up a sweat for the first time during exercise. The video lasted 50 minutes today so will have no problem getting my 150 minutes in even without the home exercises I do on Tuesday and Thursdays. It always surprises me how good of a workout doing yoga is. My arms may be sore tomorrow as we worked them a lot today.

Stopped by Walmart and picked up a grocery order I had placed this morning. They were out of ice. I almost went inside to see if I could get a bag that way but decided against it. I will go to Strong City tomorrow and get some there.

I almost forgot to bring the groceries in when I got home. I did a few little things around the house when I got home and then settled down in my chair and all of a sudden remembered I hadn’t brought the groceries in. When I do an on-line order it is so easy I forget that I got groceries. Got up and brought everything in and put them away. I had extras today as I am having a big group for dinner tomorrow night and a couple over on Thursday for lunch.

I called my accountant to schedule a face-to-face meeting with her. She could have met with me next Tuesday but that is moving day. Her next available appointment is May 16. Guess things can wait till then.

Haven’t gotten any packing done today. I may get the laundry room packed yet tonight. I have a bunch of overflow cleaning supplies that I could box up as I won’t need them before we move. It won’t take long though so may wait to do that on packing day a week from today.

Tomorrow my friends are coming over for dinner so I will be in the kitchen for a bit tomorrow morning and again in the late afternoon. I’m fixing an easy menu so won’t have a lot of prep work to do. Have to figure out dishes and tables as I don’t have enough dishes to serve 11 and I only have table space for 8 now. No worries, I have plastic plates and card tables and folding chairs. I really do need to do a bit of cleaning before tomorrow night but it sure won’t be much.

Tomorrow is trash day so I need to go down to the barn and gather up the last of the trash that needs to go out. The camper is gone so now I can sweep up the floor where it used to sit and get rid of the last of the pile that was there. My trash can is already full from stuff from the garage I threw out. The trash man is going to have a huge pile to make go away Wednesday morning. I will have one last chance to throw things away the following Tuesday as that is my moving day.

Hard to believe I am a week away from moving day. A week from today is packing day and the actual moving day is a week from tomorrow. I will close on the sale on the following Friday. That gives me a couple days to get this house clean for the buyer.

The rest of this week is fairly open. I do have several things I need to make go away. I’ll probably take things to the Salvation Army as I am tired of Facebook Marketplace. I don’t have enough energy to manage that process. I have to go to town Wednesday for exercise and I will take another car load of things in then. I’ll probably find one more car load to take on Friday when I go in for exercise. I’m getting close to the end but I seem to keep finding things that are too good to throw out.

I am working on changing my address on lots of different accounts. Some are easier done than others. I’m sure that will be a year long process as it is hard to remember all the places that have a need to know. I’ll have to repeat all that when I move to my new – new house when it is built.

Sitting in a good head space today. I got over my down day yesterday and got a good night’s sleep and have felt good today. There really isn’t a lot that I can do right now as it is still a bit too early to get many things packed. I will do a small area everyday and wait until a week from today when I will pack everything.

Grateful for a good workout at exercise today, grateful a car full of stuff is gone, and grateful for a slow week ahead of me.

The garage is packed and almost clean. What a dirty job that was. I don’t think it had been cleaned since Jim left. I used the leaf blower and got the worst of it out. When it is completely empty I will have to sweep it again. It was a touch windy today and things I blew out blew right back in.

I think I need a shower. I am about as dirty as I remember ever being. I have dirt in places it doesn’t belong. My mouth feels like a dry pile of dirt. I keep drinking but it doesn’t seem to help. I’m sure this too shall pass.

Michelle came and got the camper out of the barn today. Yay! One more thing that needed taken care of done. Now I need to get back down to the barn and finish cleaning it up. It is all but done but I still have some things to make go away and then the floor will need to be cleaned.

I am really tired of getting rid of things. I am to the point of donating what is left or just leaving things behind. The buyer said he would take whatever I didn’t want to take. Wonder if he really means that? He might be sorry he said that.

I have a full car load to take to town tomorrow of stuff that needs to go away. I have a feeling once the car is empty I will fill it back up again with more stuff. I hope the Salvation Army doesn’t make me stop dropping things off.

Stick a fork in me – I am done! Too bad there is lots more that needs done. Maybe tomorrow I can find some reserves and go at it again.

A week from Tuesday is moving day. It can’t come soon enough for me. I don’t close on the sale of the house until May 3 so will have time to unpack at the new house and then come back here and do a final clean. When I bought this house it was really dirty and I can’t leave it like that for the new owners.

I need to remember to leave cleaning supplies behind when I move so I will have what I need to clean here. At least it will be easy to clean since it will be empty.

I wished I drank as I think I would drink a whole bottle of champagne myself May 3 after closing. This has been a huge job and I am so glad to be almost to the finish line. I will need to take time and celebrate when it is all done.

Tomorrow I have lots of errands to do in town when I go in for exercise. I have to take care of the insurance changes, drop stuff off at Salvation Army and the library, and buy groceries for the week. Tuesday I have some friends coming for dinner but will get to stay home all day. I probably should clean a bit for them but probably won’t. They are good enough friends that they can deal with my house in chaos.

Feeling a bit cranky today. My lower back is aching for some reason. I have dirt up my nose and in my eyes and mouth. This has felt hard today. Time to take a step back and allow it to be what it is. When I was working in the garage today I got triggered and need to let those feelings rise and be heard so they will leave. I never know how long that may take to happen so will need to call a timeout for myself and allow how ever much time is needed for me to get grounded and centered again.

And this too shall pass…..

Grateful the garage is packed and ready to be moved, grateful the dirt will wash away, and grateful I can do hard things.

Cold, cloudy day on the prairie today. The sun tried to come out earlier but has retreated this afternoon. It is only 53 out today. Burr…. It is to warm up next week and be closer to 70’s most days.

The big riding mower went to its new house today. I was able to drive it up on a narrow trailer – it fit but barely. Grateful I found a home for it and that it is gone. One more thing taken care of.

Kathy went in and painted her new bedroom today. I’m not motivated enough to do any painting yet. A few of the rooms need some touch ups done but that is all I will probably do. I want to live in the house for a bit and then paint if the colors don’t work for me.

I went to the house this afternoon. I happened to run into my new neighbor and he gave me a tour of his house. He has done lots of work to his house and is really making it nice. He agreed to take the washer and dryer from the new house to Michelle sometime next week. Michelle’s dryer is going out and the dryer at my next house is fairly new. That will work well for both of us. I am taking the set from this house to the new house so don’t need two sets.

I went downstairs yesterday and got the whole basement as packed as I can until we finish up the day before the move. It feels good to know that is done. I still have a few things down there to get rid of so will work on that this week. I have one more armless chair to get rid of, several nightstands, two yarn winders, a small microwave and stand, a small TV, and a few other things. I may just take them all to the Salvation Army as I am over Marketplace. I’ll see if I can find some patience to attempt Marketplace one more time.

I have a bit more I can pack on the main level before the big packing day a week from Monday. Trying not to pack things too early so I don’t have to go searching for something I packed. Kathy and I can get the remaining stuff packed in one day so most everything else will wait to be packed until then. I do need to get in the garage and finish it up.

I have a relatively quiet week ahead. I have some friends coming for dinner Tuesday night and Thursday noon. Other than that I only have the three trips to Emporia for exercises and errands on my calendar. Time seems to have slowed down for me and this last week may feel a bit long to me. We shall see. Working hard to stay present and not get into anticipation as that is where I run into trouble. In this moment, right here, right now, all is well.

Feeling a bit emotional about all the upcoming changes today. I have lived in this house longer than I have lived in any house since I was a kid. Craig and I moved in here in November of 2013. I have seen myself change over the years I have been here and see this house as a healing space. I will take those memories with me and cherish them always. Time to make new memories and create a different, simpler lifestyle for myself with less responsibility.

Starting to think I need some physical therapy for my hips. I have had a deep ache in them for a long time. I had mentioned it to my doctor some time ago and he said if it didn’t get better to call him and he would make a referral for physical therapy. Not sure if it is the exercising that is causing it to hurt more or what but some days it is really uncomfortable. The Chiropractor has been working on it but it doesn’t seem to be doing much good.

Staying above the neutral level but barely today. I could easily fall down the ladder today. I’m grateful I have a stay at home day today and tomorrow and can refill. I am just this side of being cranky and if I had to deal with many people today would fall over.

Grateful the riding mower found a new home today, grateful Phil will haul the dryer and washer to Michelle, and grateful the downstairs is packed and ready to go.

This has been a wonderful stay at home day. I was up between 4:00 and 6:00 this morning but was able to go back to bed and got a second sleep of a couple of hours. That was a very good thing.

I went downstairs and finished packing up all but the last minute stuff from downstairs. My car is overloaded with stuff to take to the Salvation Army and the Friends of the Library. I will do that Monday when I go to town for exercise.

I found some wrapping paper for moving that I didn’t know I had. That will come in handy when I pack the kitchen stuff in another week or so. Found lots of empty boxes to put in recycling and a couple more things to sell.

I have two yarn winders I need to sell. Both are wood and work well. You can have both for $25. I don’t have the yarn ball winder that goes with it. Not sure what happened to it – I may find it later.

There is a lot of smoke in the air today. Can’t tell where they are burning at but looks like a lot of it is happening. Not much wind today so the smoke is hanging around and not moving away from me. Not a good day for anyone to be outside that has asthma or allergy issues.

I went out this morning and did my final mow with the big mower. The mower is going to its new house tomorrow morning. If we don’t get any rain I won’t have to mow next week. I have the little riding mower if it does rain. I won’t mow the whole yard but I could do the up close part with the smaller riding mower if I absolutely had to.

The mower has about 140 hours on it. I probably put 130 or more of those on it. That’s a lot of mowing over the years. It served me well and rarely gave me issues. John Deere helped me take good care of it.

The insurance adjuster I have worked with since the hail damage called me this morning. He is mailing me my final claim check this week. I think he called to say thanks more than anything. He thought I got things restored in record time. He told me he still had open claims from damage done five years ago. Yikes. I can’t function like that. As far as I was concerned my restoration took way too long. The adjuster did a nice job for the most part and I am grateful for his help. I’m even more grateful that it is over. One more file I can get rid of and cross off my pending list.

The line dance lessons I was going to go to tomorrow got canceled so I think I get to stay home all weekend now. We shall see if that can happen or not but it will be nice if it does. Staying home grounds me and fills my soul. I feel like I have been running low lately and need to stop and refill.

Next week is my last week in this house. I move a week from next Tuesday. I’m having some friends over Tuesday evening for dinner and then some other friends over Thursday for lunch. That will help make the week go by quickly.

When I go to town Monday, I will drop off the stuff at Salvation Army and the library. I also need to go to my insurance agent’s office and arrange for dropping this house insurance and adding contents to the rental house I am moving into. I also have another rental house I need to get changed to this agent. I will do exercises and then stop and get groceries for Tuesday night’s dinner. It will be a busy trip to town.

Some time next week I need to meet with my tax accountant and find out the consequences of selling this house and how I am to treat the rental house since I am moving into it temporarily. I may have to pay myself rent. I also need to find out the tax ramifications of doing rent-to-own with the kids rentals. I don’t want to wait to the end of the year to get all that sorted out. I know I will have to pay some taxes next year and will need to send in some estimated tax payments. I don’t like penalties and if I don’t get that sent it I will have to pay a penalty next year when I file. Sometimes moving can get complicated and this all feels complicated to me.

My facebook memories reminded me that a year ago today was when I saw the tornado to the west of the house that I videotaped. It was amazing to watch but also hard to watch as I know the damage tornadoes can do. Luckily no one was killed in this one although lots of people had minor to severe damage done. Grateful it missed me.

I just ordered a fireproof file box to put my files in instead of taking the big file cabinet I have. I am down to one box full of files that I regularly use and no longer need a four drawer cabinet. Guess I will try to sell the cabinet but am thinking no one will want it. It is a nice solid oak one and well built. It is the last one I have left from when I kept records for the McDonald’s. It is time to let it go.

I continue to attempt to reduce my belongings and simply my life. I am absolutely amazed at how much extra stuff I still had. Big houses hold too much stuff! I had the room so I guess I quit seeing the stuff as extra. Grateful for this opportunity to reduce and lighten my load.

Sitting in a good head space today. Feels good to know that the basement is almost all packed and another car load is out of the house. I will have a big load to take to recycling next week when I empty the current load out of my car. Then I can get the garage cleaned out and finish packing it up.

Step by step, I am moving closer daily to being ready for this big move. I can do hard things!

Grateful the basement is cleaned out, grateful another big load is leaving the house, and grateful the mower is going to its new house tomorrow.

I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I took too long of a nap yesterday afternoon. I gave up at 4:00 and got up. Did some badly needed housecleaning as quietly as possible. Jason and Kathy were still sleeping.

I thought I would be able to go back to sleep this morning but that didn’t happen. I got things ready for lunch and did a bit of packing. I got two more boxes filled up and ready to go.

My guests didn’t come for lunch. I had misunderstood which week they are to come. They will come next Thursday! Me bad! Oh well, what I fixed we will eat and it will stay good for several days. No foul, no harm. And my house kinda got clean.

I fell asleep in my chair around noon and slept for about an hour. I had set my alarm but I was up way before it went off. Maybe tonight I will be able to sleep and catch up on my sleep a bit. I get to stay home tomorrow and have nothing on my calendar.

Went to Emporia this afternoon and did my 46 minutes of exercise. Came home afterwards as I had taken care of my errands earlier in the week.

Man the weather did a 360 today. It is downright cold out today after reaching the 80’s yesterday. The wind is back too. Dang it anyways. We got a few sprinkles but not enough to clean the cobwebs out of the rain gauge. We sure need rain but the forecast isn’t promising for that.

I got the bid for the central air at the house we are moving to. It was just a little higher than I had hoped it would be. I accepted the bid and they will come a week from tomorrow to install it. That is fast service! I trust this company and know they will do a good job.

I got the bill for the guttering job that was done last month. This is the final bill that I will submit to the insurance company for all the hail damage that was done last August. Hoping they will pay me in time that I won’t have to pay out of my savings and then pay myself back when the money comes in. Good to have that project wrapped up and done with. The hail damage happened on August 13, 2023 so this has gone on long enough.

Tomorrow I get to stay home all day. It is a badly needed day. I’m still not used to having to go to town at least three times a week and am finding myself exhausted at the end of the week. Not sure what I will try to get done. I have a few more areas I can pack up early and there is some more housecleaning that needs done.

Saturday the big riding mower is going to its new home. If the weather cooperates I may try to mow either tomorrow or Saturday morning before the mower leaves. The dandelion puffs are tall and make it look like I haven’t mowed. I won’t have to do the whole yard as we didn’t get enough rain to make the grass grow much. It will be my last mowing job at this house. Not thinking it will be bittersweet! I enjoy mowing but enough is enough.

Feeling a bit ungrounded today. Most of it is because I didn’t sleep last night but feeling some dark feelings surfacing. I will allow them to tell me what they have to say and will do my best to honor them and then they will pass. This week has been busy and I have lots of moving pieces going on right now. Lots of emotion surfacing with this big move and upcoming life change. I’m ready to get started on the rest of my life when this move is complete. It has consumed me these last couple of months.

Grateful I get a stay at home day tomorrow, grateful the hail damage project is complete, and grateful that I now know how to allow hard feelings to rise and be and know they will pass.

The boat is gone! Yay! Dakota Blount is my hero. I was given his name by the City Hall ladies. I contacted him and he responded quickly. I met him at the house and he checked out the boat and said he could make it go away. I paid him and I left. When I went over this afternoon to check on things, the boat was gone. That is a huge relief to me. I had been trying to find someone for several years that would haul that thing away. Several people had said they would but didn’t.

I went to Emporia this morning. I met with my builder, went to the chiropractor, stopped and got some wine, did exercises, washed and vacuumed my car, had lunch and bought a few groceries. It was a productive trip to town.

I came home and sat in my chair and fell asleep and slept for several hours. This must be my take a break day and rest day. It felt good to slow things down this afternoon and take a break. I felt very scattered yesterday and the rest day today helped make that go away too.

The builder incorporated the kitchen cabinet design the lady I am working with came up with. I also had him make the two other changes I wanted into the plans. I think they are final now. He won’t break ground on building my house for a couple of months but at least the plans are ready when he does.

He is to work up cost estimates over the next month or so and when those are done and we agree to that, a contract will be drawn up and signed. That will give me time now to focus on moving and getting settled in my temporary house knowing the house plans are done for the new house.

Exercise went fast today. I exercised for 47 minutes but it didn’t feel that long. We worked on shoulders and legs today. I was surprised I wasn’t sore yesterday from them. When I was at the Chiropractor today, he asked if I had been working my shoulders. He could tell they had been worked. I guess that is a good thing.

I have a friend coming for lunch tomorrow. I need to get a few things I am serving for that fixed tonight. It won’t take long. I will probably make a batch of cookies to serve. We shall see if I find the motivation to do so.

I go back to exercise tomorrow as my trainer had something going on Friday. I will get to stay home Friday instead of Thursday this week. Saturday the big riding mower is going to its new home. A friend is hosting line dance lessons Saturday evening that I want to go to. Sunday I get to stay home all day.

Next week I don’t have anything extra on the calendar so far except for exercise three days. I am having some friends over for dinner Tuesday night so we can watch my last full moon rise at this house. That will be bittersweet for me. I have so enjoyed hosting people at this house as it was so easy to do. Watching the last full moon rising here will be a bit hard for me. I have so enjoyed the view this house has provided me. Grateful I will get to share it with a group of people that I love dearly.

A cousin let me know my last remaining aunt on my dad’s side of the family is in the last days of her life’s journey. I offered to come sit with her if that would be of help to them. I am so grateful I took the time to go see her a while ago and spent an afternoon visiting with her. I wish my Aunt well on her final journey. She blessed me richly and I love her dearly.

I doubt that I get much of anything done today. I will continue to enjoy this beautiful day and consider it my rest day of the week. It is an absolutely beautiful day out today with little wind. After the gale force winds of yesterday that is a huge blessing. The birds are chirping and gathering sticks to make their spring nests. It is 82 out today which is about the perfect temperature. Love spring days like this.

There is a thick layer of dust over everything in my house. That wind yesterday blew in tons of it. It might be enough to make me clean this house up a bit as it is thick enough to really bug me. I have put off cleaning as it seemed pointless with the upcoming move. Not sure I can ignore it any longer.

Grateful for a long, afternoon nap, grateful for a perfect spring day, and grateful for the memories I have of my dear aunt.

What a windy day. Have had a 47 MPH gust so far today. It will be a challenge to get down to the chickens and back up without blowing over.

I went to the new house this morning to meet the guy that is giving me a bid to install central air. He said it will be an easy job. They don’t have to do much to the electrical which will save a bunch of money. He is to email me a quote sometime this week. If I accept the bid, he can do the job within two weeks. I’ll see how much it is and go from there.

I went to City Hall and arranged for the water for the new house to be put in my name. While there I got the name of a guy that might be able to haul off the boat. I sent him a message and I’ll see if he responds.

Met some friends and we went to Florence for lunch. We ate at the Branding Iron and they had pinned tacos as the special today. They were some of the best I have had for a bit. I enjoyed the food, drive and company.

Made a few phone calls and got the water department at this house notified that I am moving. Also got hold of the trash guy and electric company. Grateful I was able to make phone calls today and get those taken care of. Found out the certificate for the water meter on this property is still in my and Craig’s name. Since I own the property outright in my name only, the lady said Craig didn’t need to sign the release. That saved me a trip to Wichita!

This afternoon I hope to get downstairs and finish packing up all my stuff from down there. I need to check one more time to see what else I need to get rid of and attempt to get that taken care of this week. Every time I go in the new house I remember how small it is and keep telling myself not to bring any thing I don’t use.

Tomorrow I am going to Emporia to meet with the builder, go to the Chiropractor and then exercise. I will stop and get my groceries for the week while I am in town. Thursday a friend is coming for lunch and then I go back to Emporia late Thursday afternoon for exercise. Friday I get to stay home.

Two weeks from today I will be moving into the new house. It will be here before I know it. Sure wish I could pack more now but I know better than to do so as if I do I will have to open boxes to find things I need before I move. I can pack the garage and barn and get those two areas taken care of early. For some reason, when I go in the garage I get overwhelmed and have trouble packing it up. Not sure what is up with that. I sure will miss having a garage until the new house gets completed.

Grateful the storms didn’t do any damage last night. There were tornadoes south of me but nothing close. We didn’t get near enough rain but it was a start to spring rains. We may have gotten enough rain that I will have to mow again Friday or Saturday. We shall see if I do. The yard in town really needs mowed but I don’t have my mower there yet. May need to hire it done as I’m not sure it can wait to be mowed for two more weeks. I don’t want to start off living in Cottonwood Falls with a ticket for not mowing.

Feeling a bit scattered today. Lots happening and in the moment it feels like nothing is getting done yet when I zoom out I know I am getting things done. I have a sense of urgency building inside that is from anxiety and not real. Slow, steady progress is being made and I still have lots of time to finish this move up. I have to stop and remind myself of that several times a day.

The wind is causing the trap door in the ceiling of the closet to open and close. I had forgotten that door was there and it took me a hot minute to figure out what the banging was from. I don’t remember it doing that before. The sound of the wind today is helping me remember why I need to move. When I was in town today, I barely noticed the wind. After a while the sound of the wind could drive a person over the ledge of sanity. It wears me out after a bit.

Need to do chicken chores and take trash down to the curb. I hope the trash doesn’t blow over and blow into Morris County. Maybe the wind will slow down in a bit. The forecast calls for it to be much calmer tomorrow.

Taking some time to attempt to get better grounded today. I am still above the neutral line but could easily slip below if I don’t get better grounded. Maybe when I go downstairs and get away from the sound of the wind I can ground better. One of those days where the wind is wearing me out quickly. And this too shall pass…..

Grateful for a wonderful lunch with dear friends, grateful I was able to make some phone calls today, and grateful the install of the central air will be easy.

I paid my state income taxes today. I had gotten a federal refund but owed the state a bit. Glad my duty has been fulfilled for this year.

Went to Emporia a little after noon today. I met with a couple that had a question about a letter they had received from the state of KS. I helped them send in their response. We met at the Emporia Public Library. I asked the librarian about connecting to the internet and she helped me do that. When I told her I was meeting someone and acting as an advocate she offered me the use of a little private room. It worked wonderfully and I appreciated I could offer them some privacy as we were discussing some personal items.

It only took about 10 minutes to help them out. I had allowed over an hour so I had some extra time afterwards I needed to kill before exercise at 3:00.

I went by my builder’s office and dropped off the kitchen design and bids. I have a meeting Wednesday to meet face to face with him again to get things sorted through. He had ignored my last email with some changes and drew up the plans without my changes. His secretary found the email and assured me he had received it. These changes are on him.

I went to Walmart and picked up a few groceries. I got all on my list that didn’t need refrigeration. It is over 80 again today and I didn’t want cold stuff to sit in my car for over an hour.

I went to exercise. The lady that supervises the various sites KU uses for this program was here today. She asked me a few questions and asked the trainer a few questions and then left. I wasn’t asked what my opinion of the program was so didn’t share that I was disappointed in things a bit. I will get a chance to share that another day.

Came home and the lady that wanted the cedar chest came shortly after I got home to pick it up. She had some strong children with her and they got it loaded without my help. I had her drive up to the front door so they didn’t have to carry it so far. Good to have yet one more thing leave the house.

I get to stay home the rest of the day. Tomorrow I am meeting the guy that is going to give me a bid to install central air at the new house. After that I need to go to city hall and arrange for water to be put in my name for the new house. I am going to ask them if they know of someone that will haul an old boat that is sitting in the yard away. I can’t seem to find anyone that can make it go away. Then I am meeting some friends and we are driving to Florence for lunch.

Wednesday I am meeting with my builder, going to the Chiropractor and then exercise and then get the rest of my groceries.

Thursday a friend is coming to my house for lunch and then in the late afternoon I have to go back to Emporia for exercise. My trainer has something to do on Friday and needed to switch days. I think I get to stay home Friday.

Saturday the big riding mower is going to its new home. Saturday evening a friend is giving line dance lessons at the old school in Cottonwood Falls and I may go in for that. Sounds like something fun to learn how to do.

My days seem to fill up. I thought this week was going to be a quiet one but it filled up fast. Add in some more packing and sorting and get rid of things time and I don’t have much free time left this week.

By this time two weeks from now, I should have everything packed up and ready for the movers. I sure hope I have decluttered deep enough and I am not paying to move things I will need to get rid of once I get to the new house. I’m sure there will be some things but hoping not too much. I’m tired of spending time and energy finding someone to take things.

The wind has come up this afternoon. It is over 80 out and it feels very pregnant out. Sure hope we get some rain and not severe stuff. So far radar isn’t showing anything close but I am thinking that can change quickly. We had enough heat today to add lots of fuel to a storm.

I get a weekly email from a guy named Jack Armstrong. He wrote a book he channeled that has some good advice. His weekly emails include a quote from the book and his writings. This one really hit home with me. It said: “Uncertainty and impatience are perhaps the two greatest roadblocks in the human mind to surrendering to the divine flow. Uncertainty is a perfect container for perfection. It is emptiness, and in emptiness all things are possible. Impatience is servitude to time, which is one of the necessary illusions of the physical world. Simply move ahead in the patience of perfection, knowing that all is well, and that you do not need to understand how or when or who, because those all are taken care of.”

Man, that nailed me to the wall today when I read that. I think the two things I struggle the most with somedays is impatience and perfection. It is so hard for me to sit in the in-between time and not know which way things are going to go. Allowing for the universe to deliver on its timetable and not mine is damn hard sometimes for me. I need to print this quote out and paste it where I can read it daily to remind myself. When I can let go and allow, my life flow is so much easier. I shake my head at myself when I catch myself not allowing. I guess it is a sign of progress that I can catch myself sometimes now.

Grateful for teachers that remind me of life’s lessons, grateful I have a meeting with my builder Wednesday, and grateful one more thing left the house today.

Uncertainty and impatience are perhaps the two greatest roadblocks in the human mind to surrendering to the divine flow. Uncertainty is a perfect container for perfection. It is emptiness, and in emptiness all things are possible. Impatience is servitude to time, which is one of the necessary illusions of the physical world. Simply move ahead in the patience of perfection, knowing that all is well, and that you do not need to understand how or when or who, because those all are taken care of.

Got up and went out to finish up the mowing in case the wind decided to blow today. I had to go to Strong City to fill my gas tank first. Mowed for about two hours and got most of it done. Decided the rest of it didn’t need mowed. Mowing was another reminder to myself of why I need to move. The thought of spending three or more hours a week mowing for the rest of the summer didn’t feel fun to me today.

Came in and took a shower and cleaned up. It is dusty and dirty mowing. We badly need rain.

A friend came and got the long extension ladder and a storage rack thingy. Good to have those things gone.

I listed the cedar chest on Facebook Marketplace last night and had lots of takers. It should be leaving the house yet today. Good to have that going out today too. I keep thinking I am out of things to get rid of and then find more. I still have a couple of nightstands to get rid of and I’m thinking I have too many pieces of living room furniture. Guess I will take them and then get rid of them after I move if they won’t all fit.

Two weeks from Tuesday is moving day. I will wait until the 28th and 29th to do the bulk of the packing. I really think I can get it all done in one day.

The guy that is appraising the house for the buyer is coming tomorrow morning to get that done. I have to go to Emporia in the early afternoon to meet someone at 1:30 and then I have exercise at 3:00. I want to take the kitchen drawings to the builder while I am in town. I need to get a meeting scheduled with the builder so I can find out what is the next step in this process. I’m a bit lost on how all this works and communication has been few and far between.

Tuesday the A/C guy is meeting me at the new house to see if it is possible to install central air and if so, how much it will cost. Then I am going to lunch with some friends. Wednesday and Friday I have to go to Emporia for exercise and will get groceries one day or the other. It is a rather light week so far and I have lots of time to sort more things and do some cleaning.

The big mower is going to its new home next Saturday. If we don’t get any rain I may not have to mow again before I move. If I do, I guess I will use the small mower. That will take a long time to get this big yard mowed with it. We shall see what happens. The yard in town needs mowed but I have no way of getting the small mower to town yet. I may need to hire someone to mow the town yard until I can get the mower there.

This week I need to firm up all the utility transfers and start notifying banks, etc. of my address change. I have taken care of a few of them but have lots more to do. I also need to get the insurance stopped at this house and add contents to the insurance I have at the new house. Moving seems simple until you remember all the little things that have to happen.

It has reached 90 on the prairie today. It sure seems early in the season to get that hot. I have a feeling we are in for a hot summer this year. Sure hope we get some rainy days soon but the forecast isn’t looking promising.

I had a whole chicken that wouldn’t fit in the condensed freezer so I set it out to thaw. I have it cooking in the crock pot today and it sure makes the house smell good.

I can feel my impatience starting to grow within. I am ready for this move to be over with. Two more weeks. I can do this! I have spent a lot of time and energy preparing for this move and decluttering and reducing my load. It will be good to find a new purpose for myself and to allow myself to take some time to enjoy my upcoming new lifestyle.

I may take a day next week or the following week and go to Wichita or KC for the day. It helps to step away from the chaos for a bit. I have some friends in KC I would love to see and I have two aunts in Wichita and Marion that I want to go visit. It would be good for me to step away for a day or two.

Still able to hold myself above the neutral level. I am realizing more and more about the time table the universe has versus the time table I put in my head. When I can let go of my time table and trust the universe to come through amazing things happen. One of the hardest habits I have had to break inside is the one where I let go of expectations. Expectations of myself, of others, and of time. Life is much easier for me when I can remember to let go and trust.

Grateful for the things that left the house today, grateful the yard is mowed, and grateful for the smell of chicken cooking.

Dang. I should have mowed yesterday. The wind is in the 20 – 30’s today and I have eaten a weed salad while mowing today. I’m still not done but had to come in and take a break. My eyes are full of debris and I’m having trouble seeing. I needed this reminder of why I am leaving this place.

Nicole and Geoff came down this morning to pick up my extra freezer. Jason took advantage of them having a trailer and took two of the dining room tables to a friend of his. Michelle came out and got some hamburger that wouldn’t fit in the single freezer and got another load of her stuff out of the barn. It turned into a mini-family day! That always fills my heart with joy.

A friend came and picked up the beef tongue, heart and liver. She is going to use it as pet food. Grateful that is gone and will be put to use. I was going to have to throw it away and I hate waste like that if someone can use it.

My neighbor is out mowing today so I rode my mower down to let him know I am moving in two weeks. He is 84 and still taking care of his place here as well as his big house in the Kansas City area. Not sure how he does it. I’m glad I got a chance to see him and tell him about his new neighbors.

Nicole, Geoff, Jason and I went to Bruff’s for lunch. Michelle and Ellexia had other plans so couldn’t join us. It was good to get to spend some time with them although it was a short visit.

Kathy, Nicole, Geoff and I went to the house I am moving into to check out the renter and give her deposit back. This was the first time Kathy was able to see inside the house we are moving to. The renter did a good job cleaning and we won’t have much to do next week.

Seeing the house again reminded me how small it is and I am ever so grateful I have gotten rid of things. I still need to get rid of more as I don’t like crowded rooms and this house won’t hold much. I have a cedar chest that I need to get rid of if anyone knows of someone looking for one. It is a big, nice one that I bought new years ago.

I managed to condense down to one freezer. I had to throw some stuff out. Michelle came out and took home the extra hamburger and chicken that wouldn’t fit in the single freezer. My remaining freezer is packed full. I’ll have to be intentional about using stuff up out of it to make some room.

I want to get downstairs later today and finish up packing the basement stuff. I need to cross some rooms off my packing list and I don’t use the stuff downstairs so it is safe to pack up early. It is nice that we have access to the new house now so we can start taking weird shaped stuff that doesn’t go in a box easy.

This house is starting to look a little bare with all the stuff that is leaving. I have a couple more people that need to come get some things they want and I still have some stuff I need to find a home for. Two weeks to go and thinking I can get that all gone before moving day. We shall see.

Nicole and Geoff helped me figure out how to run the new mower. It seems very complicated compared to the mower I have now. I hope I remember how to do it when I get moved. I am a bit worried that the ramp into the shed is too steep for it for me to be able to get the mower in the shed. I may have to have that ramp rebuilt. I don’t want to ruin the new mower going up too steep of a ramp.

Lots going on around here these days. Lots more to come. It feels good to see things leaving that I won’t have to move. I’m glad I had several months to get rid of things. It feels like it has been a bit complicated to accomplish all that. I am so looking forward to this move being over with so I can get on with my life.

Today helped the reality of my upcoming situation become real. I sure hope I am making the best decisions for myself and that selling is the right thing to do. I do feel lighter with lots less stuff. I am looking forward to a simpler lifestyle. I sure will miss this house and the views though. Sometimes you have to let go of what you know so you can make space for new things to come in.

Grateful for an unexpected family day today, grateful more things left the house today, and grateful for all the love and support I am receiving through this transition.

I had a productive trip to town this afternoon. I took six more boxes to the Salvation Army. Stopped by the new Mark II store and had a discussion with the lady about the kitchen cabinets. I stopped by my builder’s office afterwards to drop off the kitchen cabinet bid but his office was locked closed.

I went to exercise. I did exercise today with a different trainer and one other participant in the research program. He is on week 26 and I am on week 9 but we did the same video today. For some reason, this week’s lesson seemed to go by quickly and we were done before I knew it.

I picked up Michelle and we took care of a banking issue together. I took her back to work and then went to Walmart and got a storage container for my wrapping paper. Came home after that and took a short nap in my chair.

I don’t think I have to go to town all weekend. We shall see if I get to stay home. I love weekends when I get to stay home all weekend.

Nicole and Geoff are coming back down again tomorrow to pick up my extra freezer. I need to get out to the garage and get that freezer emptied tonight. I threw some things away on trash day this week but still have more things to get rid of. Not sure how much I will have to discard. I will take everything but the meat out and will go from there. I’m sure some of the frozen vegetables that are in the freezer are years old and not edible anyways.

The lady at the cabinet store did a good job today. I have no idea if what I picked out is out of the allowed amount or not. I need to schedule a meeting with my builder and find out. She reorganized the draft plan of the kitchen a bit to maximize cabinet space and to balance it a bit. I’m not good at looking at a flat drawing and imagining what it looks like for real. Glad she is experienced at this and found a few things to adjust.

I need to get out and mow my yard. I may get started on that this evening. It is not windy today and will be a good day to mow. I still don’t have grass in all the places of the yard. We are very dry and the grass doesn’t seem to be filling in well this year yet.

There is lots of smoke in the air again this afternoon due to all the burning that is happening around me. My nearest neighbors haven’t burned yet and am not sure if they are going to. We have had lots less burning than normal this year due to the drought conditions.

My plan this weekend is to finish up packing the basement stuff. I don’t use that stuff and it is something I can get done ahead of time. The mover I am using this time is more particular about everything being in boxes with a lid so need to do some work on a few things and figure out how to make that happen. I can move odd shape things in my car if needed as long as they aren’t too heavy.

I only have a little over two weeks to go before moving day. Next week I will get all the utilities notified and start notifying people I do business with of my new mailing address. I tried to order personal checks with the new address but what they need to verify the new address I don’t have yet. I don’t write many checks anyways so will make do with the old ones until after I can get the documents they require to order new ones.

The guy that is going to appraise the house for the new buyer’s loan is coming Monday morning. It seems to me they are cutting it close to closing to only be allowing a little over two weeks for him to get his report to the bank and final loan approval to happen before close. Not my worry I guess as long as close goes forward on schedule.

I probably should do a bit of house cleaning before the appraiser shows up. I haven’t cleaned for some time now and the house is dirty. I have boxes everywhere but I’m not going to move those. He will have to deal with what is. Not really my worry about how the house appraises as long as we can close May 3 as scheduled.

I should get the key to the house we are moving into Saturday or Sunday. I hope I have it so I can show Nicole and Geoff the house when they are here tomorrow. Kathy hasn’t seen the inside of the house yet either. It will make it very real to me when I get to go in that empty house again.

Thinking I am in a good position for the move right now. Lots of stuff left the house this week and some more is to go this weekend. I don’t think it will take me too long to pack what I am taking and I still have a little over two weeks to get it all packed. I have lots of phone calls to make next week and if I am in the right mood those can get done relatively quickly too.

Anxious to get this big move over with and to get settled into our new house. This move has consumed me these last couple of months and I am ready to move on and get started with the rest of my life.

Grateful more things left the house today, grateful to spend some time with Michelle today, and grateful one more step towards building the new house happened today.

Lazy day for me. I took a nap in my corner chair this afternoon. The sound of the wind was driving me over the edge and I decided a nap was the safest things for all of humanity.. We had a 47.3 MPH wind gust today and sustaining winds around 30 most of the day.

Two of the armless chairs left today. Another one was going to go to its new home but the new owner delayed until the weekend. I also have a drum that might go to its new home today yet.

I packed three boxes and a tote full of pictures off the walls and little knick knacks laying around upstairs. It is a start at least.

I got the floor plan drawings of the new house last night. I am a bit disappointed in my builder. I had sent him an email the day we had met several weeks ago with three little changes I wanted. He did not put them in the new drawings. I sent him another email today and didn’t hear back from him. I am having second thoughts about him now. Communication seems to be an issue. If I don’t hear back by Monday I will try to call him and find out what is going on.

The lady that is supplying the kitchen cabinets, countertops and flooring let me know the bid is ready. I am to stop by there and she will go over it with me. I had requested samples of the various products I am getting and I think two of the four are ready for me. The bid took her two weeks longer than she said it would. I will stop by tomorrow before I go to exercises.

Maybe this slow start to this process is to remind me this is a slow process. I operate better when people are impeccable with their words. If it is going to take three weeks, say that instead of I’ll get back to you soon. If it takes longer than you said, send me an email and let me know you got delayed. I guess that is asking too much these days.

Yes, I am a bit cranky today for some reason. I am a bit exhausted today. It feels like every couple of weeks I have to take a day and do nothing and allow all my systems to catch up with each other. I probably had a bit of a release after the wonder of the eclipse and ending taxes and needed a day to slow down and get all of me in one place at one time.

I did call and scheduled a meeting with the A/C guy at the new house next week. The house we are moving to does not have central air and I think we will need that. I will see how expensive it is. When I had the furnace checked out when I bought that house, the guy said it would be easy for them to install central air and if I remember right he quoted a price that was reasonable. It wasn’t an official quote though so it may be way off. Things have really gone up these last couple of years too.

I was going to try to mow today but decided it was too windy to take on that job today. I will try again this weekend and hope for a calmer day.

I brought up the new mower’s operator’s manual. I read the instructions but was still a bit lost on how to operate it so thought I would google it and watch a video. The operator’s manual does not state the brand or type of mower I have. Weird! They must use this manual for a variety of machines. I don’t think I have ever seen one that doesn’t even say what it is a manual to. I had to look up where I ordered it to find out what make and model it was. Found a video and when I go down to mow I’ll see if I can make it go. I figured out how to start it the other day but couldn’t get it to move.

Last night was my last evening shift for doing taxes this season. It was a weird night. A couple didn’t show up and one couple had taxes too complicated for us to do. We had an extra person to help out last night and weren’t busy at all. I hate that as I’m sure there were people that would have come in if we had known we had open spots ahead of time. I’m very grateful taxes are over for this year. I’m grateful I hung in there and did them but it is a relief they are done.

Maybe after I get chicken chores done in a bit, I will find some energy and motivation and get some things done off my long to-do list. I have a quiet weekend at home planned so will have time to get things done then if not. I can feel the anxiety of the move starting to come in. I have less than three weeks to go. It still feels like I have a lot to do but a lot of it is waiting yet. Still too early to pack essential items and hopefully most of what I am taking is essential.

Tomorrow I have several errands to run when I go to town for exercise. I hope I get them all done so I won’t have to go to town this weekend. I need two long days at home without leaving the grounds. Since I have exercise it has been hard to find days at home and I cherish them.

Next week looks fairly quiet. So far I only have the three trips to town for exercise and meeting with the A/C guy on my calendar for the week. That feels good! I’m sure some things will come up and fill in a bit but I really could use a quiet week. I will need to firm up the transfers of all the utilities and the disconnects at this house next week. That will take several phone calls and I struggle making calls sometimes. Hopefully one day next week I will be able to take care of all of that.

The drum just left for its new home. Yay! Slowly, piece by piece, I am reducing my load.

Grateful for a lazy day at home, grateful the kitchen and flooring bid is ready, and grateful for an afternoon nap in my chair.

Busy start to my day. I went to town a bit early so I could get more McDonald fry boxes to use to pack. I knew my favorite guy Angel was working today and he always fills my car up. The night guy will only give me a limited amount each time.

I did my last morning tax shift of the season this morning. Most of the clients I had today were fun and it was a good way to end the season. I go back in this evening for my last evening session.

Went to exercise after I did taxes. The class is 39 minutes this week but the time goes by quickly for some reason. I don’t feel like I get a very good workout in this week but I’m grateful I am not sore as I have a lot to do.

I stopped and picked up a prescription at Walmart and then I picked up a few groceries. I had forgotten to place an order so had to get groceries the old fashioned way in the store.

I went by where Michelle works and chatted with her for a hot minute. I had a business thing I needed to check with her about. We are going to take care of that when I go to town Friday afternoon for exercise.

Came home and put groceries away. Sent a few texts to some people and took care of some personal business. I feel like I am running behind this week after being gone Sunday and Monday. I’m still not caught up but getting closer.

The contractor that is building my new house has some drawings for me to pick up so I will do that when I go to town for taxes this evening. I will take a load to the Salvation Army, go to the Chiropractor, pick up the drawings and then do taxes. Today has turned into a busy day with lots of little extra stops.

I decided to accept the bid from the moving company. It is higher than I would like but for my peace of mind knowing that we will get loaded and unloaded the same day it is worth it. Trusting I made the right decision and things will go smoothly.

Tomorrow several people are coming to pick some things up. I’ll need to do my home exercises and I have some things on my list to take care of. This feels like it has been a short week since I was gone earlier in the week. Luckily next week is fairly quiet and open for me except for the three trips to town for exercise. I should have lots of time to get more things sorted and packed.

I get the keys to the house we are moving into Saturday so I can spend some time next week cleaning and getting in my head where I am going to put stuff. I may still have to delete some things I was going to take. We shall see how that plays out.

Michelle told me today her dryer isn’t working well. I’m grateful she said something as I have a fairly new dryer at the house I am moving into that I needed to find a home for. Problem solved for both of us. Just need to figure out a way to get the dryer to Michelle’s house.

Luckily I have a quiet weekend ahead and can get lots done. My yard is going to need mowed this weekend. It is still spotty but where there is grass it is getting tall. I will get to mow like a drunk walks and do a hit and miss mowing job.

I’m relieved this is the last week for doing taxes. I will still have to go to town three times a week for exercise but I won’t have to go twice on the same day. I’m still not used to going to town so often. I’m hoping since taxes are done, the three times a week won’t feel so heavy to me.

Sitting in a good space mentally. Things are slowly coming into focus for me and getting taken care of. I don’t have much left to try to get rid of and it will be fun to have access to my new house after this weekend. These last three weeks are going to fly by and I will be moved before I know it.

Grateful this was the last morning for taxes, grateful I found a home for the fairly new dryer, and grateful groceries are stocked for another week.

This has felt like a Monday to me. I went in to exercise today since I was gone yesterday and it messed with my head. Exercise was easy today and we worked on balance and stretching. Not a week where I feel like I got a good workout but it did feel good to stretch out today.

A lady showed up to buy the downstairs TV and stand. She drove all the way from Ft. Riley. I told her she needed a pickup to haul the stand and TV but she showed up in a little car.

Jason happened to come home as we were working with her and he helped take the TV apart from the stand and helped load it. The stand didn’t fit. She drove all the way back tonight to pick up the stand but this time brought a bigger car.

Her sister was with her and she wants to buy the low table I had in the office and two nightstands. They said they would come back another day to get them. Wonder if it is worth the trip for them but that is their business. I had two big suitcases I was going to take to the Salvation Army tomorrow and I asked them if they would like those. They took them. Yay! Two less things for me to have to load into my car to take to town and then have to unload.

I delivered one of the armless chairs to a friend this afternoon and sold three more of them to two other friends. The other three will be going out over the next couple of days. They are going to people I know so I know they will come get them.

Nicole is going to come back down and get the extra freezer and take that off my hands. I need to get it cleaned out and make room in the remaining freezer for some things from the freezer Nicole is taking. I think I can make it all fit in one freezer.

I am getting close to the last of the things to get rid of. Jason’s friend is going to take the two kitchen tables and will come get them later this week. I don’t have too much more to get rid of now. The house is starting to look a bit bare.

Jason carried the TV that was in the living room downstairs for Kathy to use until we move. I rarely turn a TV on and Kathy usually watches something everyday. I have one in the office I can use if I decide to watch something.

I got the bid from the moving company today. Yikes! It was about twice as high as I expected it was going to be. I looked it over closely and found ways to cut about 25% off of it so I think I will accept the bid. They will load me and unload me on the same day. The other guy I was going to use is unpredictable at best and I had no way of knowing when he might get me unloaded. It is worth it to pay a bit more and know what is going to happen.

Phil came out today and put my new mower together for me. I went down and looked at it and picked up the manual. I have no idea how to make it go. I can get it started but I don’t understand how to stop it, increase speed or put it into gear. It is a weird machine to me. I’ll have to find a YouTube and learn how to operate the thing. I don’t even know where the break is. I hope the learning curve for it isn’t too steep.

I will be in Emporia most of the day tomorrow. I have to do taxes from 9:00 to noon, go to exercise at noon and then the Chiropractor at 4:30 and then taxes again from 5:00 – 8:00. I also want to drop off eight boxes at the Salvation Army and stop and get some groceries. I won’t have much free time tomorrow. Thankfully I think I get to stay home Thursday. Friday I go back to Emporia for exercise.

The renter in the house I am moving into let me know she is mainly moved out and will probably be ready to be checked out this weekend. That will give me two full weeks to get that house really clean, have time to get rid of the washer and dryer and make sure it is ready for us to move into on April 30. We could start moving some smaller things I guess if I decide to.

Every day things get me at least one more step closer to being ready for the big move. I still have lots of things on my to do list but if I keep at them I can be ready in three weeks for moving day. So far things are going fairly smoothly. I’m sure there will be some bumps in the road at some point but so far, so good.

Still basking in the wonder of the eclipse and how absolutely perfect that trip went. It reminds me of the value of setting intentions and trusting the universe to have your back. It was one of those little trips that I will remember for a long time.

Grateful more things left the house today, grateful more things will be leaving this week and next, and grateful the new mower is put together and ready for me to learn how to operate it.