Had some excitement last night. A storm blew in towards sunset time. I was watching the clouds to the west for the longest time and kept thinking I was seeing a tornado. I finally thought to grab my phone and captured one. It was about three miles from us. We didn’t get much damage here – a few shingles blew off the chicken porch roof. We didn’t get much wind or rain. We did get some nice sized hail stones but they came in small bunches and not lots at a time. It sure sounded exciting for a bit though as they pinged against metal as they hit the house.

To the west of me there was some damage done. The cemetery that is three miles west had lots of stones overturned and broken. Tallgrass Prairie Preserve reported some damage. Several homes in the area were damaged as well as lots of barns, outbuildings and trees. The baseball field in Cottonwood Falls reported major damage to the dugout areas of the field as well as to the fence. Only two minor injuries to people reported so far. All in all we got lucky and dodged a huge storm bullet. There are reports that there were four separate tornadoes in the county last night.

The storms continued to roll in through the night. The emergency alert on my phone kept going off all night long with severe thunderstorm warnings. I was too tired to get up and check things out. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep though, as the sound of the wind woke me up a couple of times. I should have moved to one of the beds downstairs as I could have slept through it all if I had.

I posted the above video on the Friends of the Flint Hills group on Facebook. It has been viewed over 35.8 K times, over 1K people responded to it and over 700 shared it. I sent it to KSNT TV and they have it listed as their feature weather story on their website. I’m grateful I thought to capture it on video. It is the first tornado I have ever captured and seen that clearly.

I got several phone calls, messages and texts from family and friends checking on us last night after the storm. I am grateful for everyone that reached out to us to make sure we were OK. They all made me feel loved!

I sent a note to my handyman Phil about the shingles on the chicken coop porch roof. I’m not sure how important they are that they be fixed but I asked him to come look at it and determine that for me. Somethings I don’t know enough about to make good decisions. I am so grateful I have Phil and trust him to steer me in the right direction.

Not sure how much rain we got. I didn’t have any standing water in my back yard this morning. The ground is so dry I am sure it absorbed all that fell easily. We could sure use a day or two of constant, steady rain but not sure that is in the forecast. Our next chance for some rain is next Monday evening through Thursday. I trust that forecast will hold but don’t think I will hold my breath.

It is to cool down for the next ten days and the high will only be in the mid to upper 50’s. Burrr…. I was just getting used to the low 80’s. I’ll have to dig my winter clothes back out for the next ten days.

I placed another Walmart pickup order for this evening. I have to go to town to drop off some Chex Mix for the grandkids so will pick up my groceries then. I am liking the on-line ordering and pick-up. I bet I save money on groceries as I don’t get impulse things. It will help me stay on track with my eating plan as I won’t get things not on my eating plan.

Have had a headache and a bit of diarrhea today. Sure hoping it isn’t the start of a bounce back case. I don’t have a temperature this time so hoping for the best. So far I have tested negative but last time I had symptoms for several days before I tested positive. I will continue to isolate until I know for sure I am good to go. This is day four out from the Paxlovid so still have four more days to go until the chances diminish.

Nothing planned for the weekend but to continue to isolate. I will also continue cleaning house to get it ready for my guests that are coming in Monday afternoon. The rain helped settle the dust and ash so now I can clean and it stands a chance of staying clean for longer than a day. I keep working at it, slow like a turtle but it is getting done. I am surprised at how low my energy level tank is right now. It is taking its sweet time to refill.

I’m so grateful the storm went around us and didn’t do major damage to my property. The tornado path seems so random and unpredictable. It could have been much worse for many of us in Chase County last night. I feel for those that did have damage and am grateful for the kindness of neighbors helping neighbors clean up the damage.

Grateful to have captured the power of Mother Nature on video, grateful to have been kept safe during the storm, and grateful for friends and family that care.

Another windy day on the prairie. We had a 42.3 MPH wind gust today. Most of the time it has been between 25 – 30 MPH. Enough with the wind!

I went down to let the chickens out. I attempted to herd them out their little door to the great outdoors but had limited success. As soon as I could get a couple to go out, a couple more would come back inside. I gave up and figure they will figure it out one of these days. Maybe they are waiting for the wind to slow down. Good luck with that chicks!

Did some cleaning this morning. I am slowing getting the house ready for my guests next week. I decided to wait to dust until Monday morning as it does no good to do so now. I am getting the floors done and things organized so all I will have left to do Monday is dust.

I am feeling much better today. Not sure what was off yesterday but woke up having energy this morning. Glad that my energy is returning. I haven’t Covid tested today but did yesterday and it was negative again. Trusting today will be negative too. This is day three out from the Paxlovid and rebound cases normally happen between day two and day eight. Still have my fingers crossed I will avoid that.

Kathy’s cat and I are not on speaking terms. He figured out a way to push a screen out so he could get outside today. I duck taped the screen so it wouldn’t tear anymore. Then he jumped up in the kitchen plant window and knocked over a crystal and broke it. That damn cat! Kathy put some aluminum foil in the window to encourage the cat to stay down. We shall see if it works. He might get banned to the basement for good. Two strikes today and if he gets three strikes he is out!

Found out one of my cousins on my dad’s side of the family died earlier this month. I had lost contact with him many years ago but I stay in contact with his sister. He was younger than I am by about eight to ten years. Sorry to hear this news. I am in contact with most of the other remaining cousins and have been thinking about a family reunion sometime this summer. It has been too long since I have seen many of them. Time does pass and if I don’t get intentional about meeting up with people, I may never see them again.

Still not feeling the urge to rejoin society yet. I would have thought by now that I would have the urge to see people but am still enjoying my isolation time. I still have about five more days until the chances of a rebound case pass so will probably continue isolation until that has passed. I remember coming out of isolation when Covid restrictions started lifting and how much anxiety I had. I don’t feel the anxiety this time but maybe it is present and I am not allowing it to surface. Whatever is going on, I will continue to honor my body and stay home. I will know when it is time to get back out there.

Last night I was getting undressed so I could take my bath and noticed the bathroom sinks were dirty. I thought I had tracked in grass clippings from mowing but when I took a closer look I realized it was ash that had blown in through the window. Sure wish it would rain so the ash would settle down and not blow inside.

My life seems to have gotten much simpler lately. I don’t have much on my calendar and not much to do. I have no desire to find something to do. After all the chaos of last year, this simple time feels healing and needed. I’m sure one of these days I will get busy again but for right now, doing nothing feels right. My central nervous system is finally settled down and I don’t react and then overreact when I get stimulated.

Grateful for a day of feeling great, grateful for this simple time in my life, and grateful for the rain that is coming to the prairie soon.

My rancher guy showed up last night to burn. He had looked at the forecast for the rest of the week and decided it was not going to be better conditions than tonight so he came and got it over with. He came close to sunset so we got to watch a night burn. It went easily and safely. He didn’t burn one little patch as he was afraid the hay that is stored by it was too close to the edge and there was too big of a chance of it burning. Good to have the pasture burned for the year.

I went out late morning to mow. On my third trip around the back yard I saw a killdeer acting like it was trying to distract me from something. When I came around the next time I spotted a nest with four eggs in it laying on the ground. I stopped when I got up to the house to get my phone so I could take a picture of it. When I got back down to the area where the nest was, it took me five minutes to find it. They hide them in plain sight well. I will keep an eye on the nest and see if I can see the babies. Hopefully the rain that is to come in this week won’t wash them away.

I finally gave up mowing. It is hard to tell where I have been and it is windy and dusty out there. I have dirt in all sorts of places on my body. My eyes are going to take a few days to wash all the dirt out of them. I got about 50% of the yard mowed before I gave up. Maybe if we get some rain this week I can get the rest mowed up.

The yard is extra bumpy this year. Jim had gotten the U-Haul truck stuck when he moved out and then the tow truck that he called to pull the U-Haul out got stuck. My handyman filled in the trenches the trucks made but it is rough riding in the back yard.

I haven’t felt 100% today. Not sure what is wrong. I am more tired than I have been and just feel off. I don’t have a temperature. It could be my body adjusting to the heat. It reached over 80 today. I don’t do well in heat. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Picking up the groceries from Walmart last night was smooth and easy. I didn’t have to wait very long before they brought the groceries out to me and loaded them in the back of my car. I got everything I ordered. I will definitely do on-line ordering again. The only thing I couldn’t get that I wanted was a bag of ice. If they offer it on-line, I couldn’t find it.

I opened the door this afternoon for the chicks to go outside. I have checked a couple of times and so far none were outside. When I went down last night to close the door, one chick was outside. We played run around the coop a couple of times until she finally went inside. Dang girl anyways!

Slowly working on getting my whole house cleaned. I have gotten a start on it. Hard to clean when it is so windy and I know the dust is being blown inside. Will do the best I can do and call it good. If you don’t like dust, don’t come to my house!

My 10-day quarantine ends tomorrow night. It will be good to know that if I want to get out, it is safe for me to do so. I don’t have anywhere I need to go, so will probably stay home for a bit longer. Now that I can get groceries without going in a store, I may never shop in a store again.

Still sitting in a good head space although I am feeling a bit restless today. Not sure what is behind the restlessness although I have a situation happening in the family that is hard and there is nothing I can do to help. Still daily testing for a Covid rebound so I don’t expose someone unknowingly. I will be grateful when I can put Covid Round Two to bed and be done with it and know my chances of having a rebound case no longer exist.

Grateful for the killdeer nest I found today, grateful the pasture was safely burned, and grateful for a warm, spring day.

The neighbor burned his pasture today. The guy that cuts my hay came to my door and told me he was going to burn my land. We talked about what to avoid and off he went to help my neighbor. I watched them for a bit but got too nervous to keep watching.

The neighbor across the road joined them and burned his pasture too. They looked like they were done and hadn’t burned my property yet. The doorbell rang and the guy that usually burns my property showed up. My neighbor had forgotten to tell him they were burning today so my guy will come back later this week and burn my property. I guess the guy that cuts the hay just assumed they were burning my property too.

It all gets sorted out some how but I am rarely in the loop of communication. It feels like I am the last to know what is happening around here when it comes to things like this. My guy thought the wind was a little high to be burning today and he wants a north wind when he does my property. He thinks he will be able to do it Thursday or Friday. We shall see.

It is good to know that neighbor helps neighbor when it comes to burning. They all seem to work together and somehow the job gets done safely.

Lynn came by and picked up the dishes I had gotten washed up yesterday. It is good to have that project done and gone.

I made an on-line order at Walmart today for the first time. I had several things I needed and I have a prescription that is ready to be picked up. I thought I would do the community a service and not go in the store shopping. I am not testing positive but I’m still supposed to be careful around others. I will pick up the order this evening between 6:00 and 7:00. I’m interested to see what the pickup process is like and if I like shopping this way. If so, I may never have to go in Walmart again. I will just drive up, load up and go home. I picked up the Paxlovid via car pickup last week and it was easy.

Not sure why I hadn’t tried the on-line ordering before but I hadn’t. Michelle was telling me how easy it is and she told me it saves her money as she doesn’t gather stuff she really doesn’t need while she is shopping in store. Better late to the party than never showing up, I guess!

I went down and opened the chicks outside door after the burning was complete. When I was hanging around down there for a bit they hadn’t ventured outside yet. I’ll go down in a bit and see if they figured it out. No harm if they don’t go outside. They will get it figured out one of these days if they didn’t today.

One of the cats is missing. I haven’t seen her for several days. She has never disappeared before. Not sure what is going on. She may still be around but hiding from me. I have been a bit worried about her as her hair has not grown in from being shaved several months ago. I trust she will show up soon.

The bitter taste from the Paxlovid is still hanging around, although it is getting better this afternoon. I took my last dose last night. Hoping by tomorrow it will be gone for good.

The water department called me first thing this morning. The April bill has been deducted from my account but I can’t find record that the February or March bill has been. According to their records, they received the money so I guess I will let it go. Sooner or later this mystery will be solved and I will know if I owe them money or not.

I plan on Covid testing daily for the rest of the week to make sure I don’t develop a bounce-back case. From what I read, you can become positive again without getting any symptoms and then give Covid to someone. I have guests coming in next Monday and want to make sure I am negative for them. I have a backup plan in case I do test positive. I can put both of them downstairs and ask them not to come upstairs. I will stay upstairs and stay away from them. They can access the downstairs without coming upstairs. That would keep them safe and allow them to come, even if I do test positive. I’m not sure they could find other accommodations in Emporia for next week at this point.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie. The temperatures are in the mid 70’s and the wind is light to moderate. Lots of blue skies and sunshine today. The smell of smoke continues to hang in the air but I have a feeling it will all week as the ranchers are rushing to get their burning in this week. I can see lots of prairie fire smoke on the horizon in all directions today.

Still sitting in a good head space today. I’m surprised I haven’t gotten restless since I have stayed home since last Wednesday. It will be good to take a drive to town today but I am not really feeling the urge to see people yet. It is such a beautiful time of the year I love driving around right now and seeing all the blooming trees. It is easy to miss the spring season where I am at as their are few trees and spring flowers.

Grateful the burning was completed today safely, grateful for on-line ordering options, and grateful for this beautiful, spring day.

I tested negative today! Yay! Technically my isolation period is over although I have to wear a mask for the next couple of days if I get out. My intention is to stay in through Wednesday unless something very urgent comes up. There is a chance I could get a bounce-back case and I don’t want to expose someone in case I get round three.

I have one last dose of Paxlovid to take tonight. I will be grateful when this nasty bitter taste goes away. Hoping it will be gone by morning. I suppose it is a small price to pay as the Paxlovid helped me have a mild case of Covid.

I have felt a bit tired today but I didn’t sleep very much last night. I woke up at 5:30 this morning after going to sleep around 1:00 and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Just one of those nights. Thankfully it is becoming rare for me to get less than six to eight hours of sleep, thanks to my sleep aide. I took one last night but some nights they aren’t as effective as most nights.

I got my bathroom cleaned last night. I am working on cleaning my bedroom today. I have the sheets washed and put back on my bed. It will be a treat to climb into a freshly made bed tonight. After all the nights I ran a temperature the sheets were getting nasty.

I did three loads of laundry today and got everything folded and put away. I am working on washing two totes full of dirty dishes from the Pioneer Bluffs Fundraising dinner that was held last night. I had to back out of serving so volunteered to wash the dishes instead. I have done six dishwasher loads so far and have one left to go and then that job will be done. It gave me something to do today and feel productive a bit.

There was a meme on Facebook that said: “At this point I am about 97.3% feral and will not be able to be integrated back into society”. I felt that today! I still have no desire to go somewhere or to see anyone. I wonder how long I can string this out before I have to do society again?

A dear friend brought me some yogurt and a travel magazine today. The world does turn much sweeter when one has friends that care. I so appreciate the gesture and have enjoyed reading the travel stories.

The wind has been in a big hurry all day today. We had a 52.8 MPH gust with sustaining winds around 30 – 35 MPH most of the day. Thankfully the forecast for tomorrow shows calmer winds with clear blue skies and warmer temperatures. I will welcome spring back tomorrow.

As it is going to be nice tomorrow, I plan on letting the chicks go outside for their first time. Hopefully they will figure out how to go back inside tomorrow evening so I don’t have to chase them to return them to the big house for the night. Usually they figure it out pretty quickly.

Nothing on my calendar for the coming week except for housecleaning. With guests coming a week from tomorrow I have a whole house to clean between now and then. I work in very short spurts so it will take me all week to get the house clean. If I can do a couple rooms a day I will get it done. The way the wind is blowing I’m not sure the dust will stay outside but at least it will be fresh dust on things – right?

I wonder what stories our grandchildren will tell about their Covid days when they get to be my age? I still think we haven’t even begun to see all the ramifications that Covid has brought to our lives and understand the full range of cause and effect it has caused. I remember the stories about the depression that my grandmother and mother told and how that shaped my mother for the rest of her life.

Feeling very grateful that Round Two of Covid was relatively mild. I had two bad days of it and that was before I knew it was Covid. I am lucky to have escape permanent consequences from either case, as far as I know. The first case was definitely much harder and lasted much longer than the second one did.

Grateful to have tested negative today, grateful the last dose of Paxlovid is tonight, and grateful for friends that brightened my day.

I woke up feeling “normal” this morning. It has been a good day. Very little cough, no temperature, I have had a bit of an appetite, and my energy level is starting to return. I think Round Two of Covid is in the books and done! It is good to be back.

I will continue isolating until Wednesday. I still have one more day of Paxlovid to take and will want to wait a few days to make sure I don’t have a bounce back case. I absolutely do not want to give this crud to someone else.

I pulled a dumb move today. I have an icky smell around my kitchen sink and pulled everything out from under it to see if I have a leak (I do not). I found an unmarked spray bottle filled with a clear liquid. I assumed it was water as I used one to spray Jim’s cat when it would jump on the counter. I took the lid to the bottle off and took a big sniff. It was ammonia. Oh my! It cleared my sinuses right up. I never filled a bottle with ammonia so it must have been left from when Jim lived here. I threw it away! Yuck!

I went down to check on the chickens once the rain quit this early afternoon. It is plain ass cold outside again today – low 40’s. I remembered going down there before the storm rolled in last night to check on them but couldn’t remember for sure if I had closed their windows. I had, thank heavens. They were all warm and dry. I turned on their heat lamp for tonight as it is to get down to 38 overnight. When this little cold spell moves on out I will start letting the chicks go outside during the day. They are growing leaps and bounds in their big house and I am sure they will enjoy a new adventure getting to go outside.

We had a bit of a storm come through last evening. Got some light pea- size hail and not enough rain. It rained again overnight. I think we got about 3/4 of an inch all together. When I got up this morning it was foggy and misty. We got a bit more rain this afternoon. Am sure we didn’t get enough to get us up to an inch but it will be enough to help the grass turn green. The wind has been in a big hurry all day and it felt even colder than the low 40’s out. Come on spring and return to my prairie.

I have some green chicken cooking in the crock pot for dinner. It will be my first “real” meal since last Sunday. I hope I can eat some when it is done. This is the first day I have gotten hungry since I got Covid. Things are returning back to normal in a good way.

I called the city office today to find out why I am not seeing my water bill get automatically deducted from my checking account. They didn’t answer so I left a message. I looked at the clock a bit ago and realized they hadn’t called me back. I thought that was a bit weird as they are usually very prompt in returning calls. Then I remembered today is Saturday. For some reason, I thought it was Friday. I guess when you stay home and do nothing the days start to run together after a bit.

I looked up the bounce back cases and it can happen between two and eight days after stopping Paxlovid. I have one more day of Paxlovid to take. The article I read said you can take a second round of Paxlovid if your symptoms warrant it. You have to isolate for five days again and then take precautions for another five days.

I sure trust I won’t have a bounce back case as I have guests coming in the 24th and I want to be free and clear then. I have things to do and people to see next week and I am done with Covid!

Kathy did another Covid test today just to make sure she is still negative. She is! So grateful she didn’t get this crud. As far as I know, I didn’t share and share alike with anyone.

My rancher guys should show up sometime this week to burn. They like to have the pastures burned by April 15 which is the start of cattle grazing season but this year’s burns are delayed due to the dry conditions and high winds. This little bit of rain will help create more favorable conditions for them to burn in.

Sitting in a good head space today. It feels so good to feel good again. I am reminded yet again to not take my health for granted and to be grateful that I am still in relatively good health. I really need to get serious about getting an exercise program going and sticking with it. I am not in good physical shape and I need to fix that. Kathy is inspiring me as she has been working out regularly since she moved in and I can see the difference it is making for her. The trip to Europe will be a lot more fun if I am in great shape by then.

Grateful to be feeling good again grateful Round Two was relatively mild, and grateful for the rain the prairie received overnight.

I am feeling better today.  Have had a bit of diarrhea but since I know it is a reaction to the Paxlovid I can take something to slow it down.  I had a sore throat this morning so I looked up the side effects for Paxlovid and sore throat is one of them.  My cough is better and no temperature so far today.  I think I am on the mend.

My John Deere lawn mower came back home today.  They guy delivering it called me when he got here and asked if he could leave it in front of the barn.  I went down after he left and put it in the barn.  It started easily and moved like it should.  It is good to have it back home and ready for mowing season.  When I am feeling better, I will need to fill my gas containers and mow the yard.

I had forgotten with Covid each day brings something new and unexpected.  It is hard to know how you are going to feel from day to day.  Today I have been a bit nauseous but that seems to be quieting down.  I ate my yogurt this morning and then felt a bit off.  My heart rate hands been in the low 40’s most of the morning and I was a bit lightheaded.  I have drank some extra fluids and seem to be feeling better.  I was able to eat a banana and a piece of toast.  Not sure I am ready for anything heavy but may try some chicken with rice soup for dinner tonight.  I seem to be a bit more tired today.  I slept well last night but may need a nap today.  Kinda waiting to see if my lunch of a banana and toast will give me a pick-me-up and I can stay up.  I sleep better at night if I don’t nap.

Trusting I won’t get a rebound case as I have disc golfers coming in the 24th.  I need to be well and not expose them to this crap.  I did send them a note warning them that there is a chance I could be down and out while they are here.  They know the house and we can figure out a way to not be together if I do get a rebound case.  Man!  I have all my fingers and toes crossed that doesn’t happen.

Kathy tested today just to make sure she didn’t have it.  Grateful her test showed negative.  Neither Michelle nor Nicole got it either so am thinking we might be home free.

I went down and took care of the chicks this morning.  They sure are growing fast.  I filled their watering container today and was able to lift it back into the coop.  Next week I will start letting the girls out during the day.  The big ones are seven weeks old and the little ones will be seven weeks old Tuesday.  It is getting hard to tell them apart.  Eggs won’t be here until the middle of July – that seems a long ways away.

The Kansas Department of Health called me today.  They were looking for people that work in a public, high-risk setting such as health care, prisons, schools, etc.  The last question they asked me is if I needed a referral for mental health services due to the isolation of quarantine.  I am grateful they are checking in with people and bringing that up.  The lady recommended I quarantine for ten days from the first day of symptoms.  It is only required that I quarantine for five days and then wear a mask if I go out for another five days.  I don’t have anywhere to go or do so I will stay home for the full ten days.

I am halfway through taking the Paxlovid.  The bitter taste is still there but drinking lots seems to help.  It gets worse about 30 minute after I take my morning and evening pills.  The worst lasts about an hour and then it eases up a bit but remains present.  Two more days – I can do this!

I got hold of my plumber yesterday and he is ordering a kitchen faucet and will bring it out and install it when it comes in.  I also need the plumber to fix the water line to the refrigerator as it hasn’t worked since the water softener got removed last week.  Seems like I always have a pending list of things that need fixed around here.

We have a good chance for rain on the prairie tonight.  The grass will ready start greening up if we get some much needed rain.  I’m surprised the pasture that was burned two weeks ago is as green as it is without rain.  I still haven’t heard when my pasture is going to get burned.

Haven’t gotten restless or felt the need to get out and about yet.  It has felt like a treat to allow myself the pleasure of staying home all week.  Kathy goes to town most days and will be able to pick up some groceries for me if and when I need them.  So grateful she is here and able to do that for me as needed.

I don’t have anything on my calendar all week next week except get the house cleaned for my guests that are coming in the following week.  Trusting I will regain my strength and have the energy to do that next week.  If things continue as they have been I will be good to go.

Grateful my mower is back home and ready to go, grateful for the chance of rain tonight on the prairie, and grateful my healing journey is progressing.

This has been a much better day.  Thank heavens for Paxlovid I feel on the mend.  I’m still a bit weak and not 100% but on my way.  My temperature broke and has stayed away today.  The diarrhea is gone and my headache is gone.  I still have a bit of a cough but it is better.

I was able to eat most of my yogurt today.  I ate some graham crackers and a banana too.  I have a hard time eating when I am sick and am forcing myself to eat today.  I sat some chicken tenders out to thaw in case I get hungry and can eat dinner tonight.  I doubt that I will but maybe by tomorrow I will feel like eating some.

I had a rough couple of hours last night.  My restless legs felt more like restless body last night for about two hours.  I was so tired but I couldn’t quiet my body. I finally got up and sat in my chair for about an hour and things quieted down and I was able to sleep for 4 -5 hours.  I ate some yogurt to give my body some fuel.  It did the trick.

I was able to walk down to check on the chicks today.  I carried a bag of chick feed that was about 1/3 full down to them and was able to fill their feed container and put it back on its hook.  Thank heavens they didn’t need water.  The walk down and back up didn’t feel so long today.

I even managed to call John Deere and ask about the mower.  They apologized for the delay and promised to deliver it tomorrow.  I also called and left a message with the guttering guy.  I haven’t heard back from him yet.  I still need to call my plumber.  Two out of three is not bad for me.

I sent a note to my doctor.  When my C Diff test came back and before I tested positive for Covid he prescribed an antibiotic that is new to the market.  It treats IBS diarrhea.  Walmart Pharmacy was out of it and had to order it.  Walmart text me today to let me know it is ready to be picked up and told me my cost is $812.  I asked the doctor if I still needed to get it filled as my diarrhea has stopped and the reason for it was Covid.  He let me know I didn’t need it.  I’m grateful Walmart was out of it yesterday as it turns out I didn’t need it.  I am also grateful to know there is an antibiotic I can take if my IBS flares up again.  The price is a bit outrageous.  Medication has gotten to be a privilege of the wealthy.

The Paxlovid is causing a nasty taste in my mouth.  From reports of others that have taken it, it goes away quickly once you complete the dose of medication.  I don’t eat sugar or artificial sugars so sucking on a mint is not an option for me.  I keep drinking and occasionally will eat a graham cracker to help take the taste away.  Yuck!  I guess it is a small price to pay for feeling better overall.

This case of Covid has been completely different than the first one.  I didn’t run a temperature with the first case nor did I have diarrhea or body aches.  The cough, headache and sneezing were similar.  This round has been much easier and am thinking I really didn’t need the Paxlovid this time but sure could have used it last time.  Maybe my cough this time would have gotten as bad as the one last time if I hadn’t taken Paxlovid this time.  I wonder how many times you can take Paxlovid?  I don’t seem to have as bad of a brain fog as I did last time.  It took over two months for that to lift last time.

I managed to take my normal daily pills this morning.  I have only taken my thyroid medication the last couple of days.  I just couldn’t make myself take the  normal stuff.  Most are supplements and not prescribed medications.  It was all I could do to get the Paxlovid down yesterday.

Funny how it feels like the world stops when you get sick.  I’m sure there is a lot happening out there but my world seems to have shrunk this week and I’m not aware of much else going on.  It will be nice to have a couple more quiet days at home with no temptation to leave or do anything.  Maybe I will find some energy and start doing some housecleaning but then maybe not.  It will feel good to move my body again but don’t think that is going to happen today.  We will see what happens tomorrow.

So far Kathy is staying symptom free.  I haven’t heard from Michelle but Nicole told me she is still feeling OK.  So grateful no one else in my little circle has gotten it from me.

I will continue resting and drinking lots of fluids and give my body what ever time it needs to heal.  I enjoy staying home so this feels like a treat.  One of these days I will start to get a bit restless  and will need to get out but will stay tucked in for the next five days at least.  My quarantine is officially over Saturday morning but not sure I will be ready to be out and about then.

Grateful to be feeling better, grateful Kathy and the girls have stayed Covid free, and grateful I have a beautiful place to quarantine in.

The good news of the day is I don’t have C Diff.  The bad news of the day is I have Covid.

I had another rough night last night.  Up in the middle of the night running to the bathroom along with running a temperature.  I sent a note to my doctor and requested he order a stool test for C Diff.  I went in to the hospital lab and took care of that this morning.  The nurse called early afternoon and said it was negative.  Thanks heavens!

She was concerned though about my symptoms, especially when I told her I was experiencing a cough and congestion and recommended I get Covid tested.  I used one of Kathy’s Covid tests this time and I tested positive.

I looked up the symptoms of the latest variant and sure enough diarrhea is one of the first symptoms listed.  The other symptoms listed were sneezing, sore throat, cough, congestion, headache, diarrhea, body aches, fever and fatigue.  Check, check and check!

The good news is I can now take something to slow down the diarrhea.  When you have C Diff you can’t do so as you want the colon to empty the toxic waste.

My doctor prescribed Paxlovid this time.  I went back to Emporia and picked that up via pickup in my car with my mask on.  There was no charge for it.  Hoping it will do the trick and I will get to feeling better soon.

I actually feel better today than I did yesterday.  I’m tired of running to the bathroom but so relived I don’t have C Diff.  It is a sorry state of affairs when Covid is the better of two options!

I cancelled my doctor appointment for tomorrow in Topeka.  I did that before I knew I had Covid.  I just wasn’t up to the trip to Topeka.  I wasn’t sure I could make it that far without a bathroom close by.  I rescheduled for sometime in May.

I also had to cancel out of volunteering for the Radius at the Ranch fundraiser dinner for Saturday night.  Kathy is not going to go either out of an abundance of caution in case she gets Covid.  Anyone want to take our place?  It is fun serving the guests and you get a free steak dinner afterwards.  I can hook you up if you are interested.  They could use some more volunteers, especially with both of us having to back out.

I called the Chase County Health Department to report my case.  They are still kinda tracking Covid case counts.  You only have to isolate from five days of first symptoms and then wear a mask for the next five days if you go out.  I plan to stay home for at least 10 days and maybe longer.  The risk of having a bounce back case with Paxlovid is high and I don’t want to expose someone.  I don’t have anything on my calendar for next week so I am good to stay home.

I have had 10 bathroom emergencies today.  I have lost 7 pounds since Sunday.    I have managed to eat two bananas and a piece of toast with Manuka honey on it today.  I may try some chicken and rice soup later.  I have no appetite and feel a bit nauseated when I do try to eat.  Doing my best to drink lots of fluids and rest.

Trusting this will be an easier go of it than last time.  I’m on day three and not near as sick as I was last time on day three.  With the Paxlovid I trust I will be feeling even better by tomorrow.  I worry more about long Covid and am grateful the doctor gave me Paxlovid this time to lessen the chances of long Covid setting in.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today.  The high is in the mid 80’s.  There is lots of smoke in the air and a haze on the horizon as ranchers are taking any opportunity with low winds to get their burning done.  The burning season is a bit behind this year.  Still lots of pastures that need burned.  We need rain so badly – may try to do a rain dance soon.

So far Nicole and Michelle are symptom free.  I sure hope they didn’t get Covid on our trip too.  It makes me a bit nervous about traveling to Europe in September but I will go and see what happens and deal with whatever does happen.  Having diarrhea traveling would be a challenge though!  May need to pack some Depends!

I trust Kathy doesn’t get it either.  She stays downstairs most of the time but does come up for her meals, etc.  I sure would hate to see her get this too.  Not sure wearing a mask at this point in time would do any good as I have already exposed her.

Grateful I have a diagnosis of what was wrong, grateful it wasn’t C Diff, and grateful I am feeling better today.

 

It was a long night.  I ran 101 – 102 temperature all night long.  It was hard to get comfortable- one minute I would be cold and the next hot.  I felt drained this morning but am feeling a bit better this afternoon.  I am getting concerned that C Diff is back as I have had 8 watery stools today.

I tested myself for Covid last night and again today and both tests were negative.  I’m not sure I trust them though as last time I had Covid it took five days of being sick before I registered positive.  My symptoms are more in line with C Diff today than Covid.

I ate a piece of toast with Manuka honey on it at noon and had half a bowl of chicken with rice soup.  Trying my best to drink as much as I can but it isn’t going down well.

It will be very discouraging if I have C Diff again.  The good news will be I should qualify for a fecal matter transplant this time.  That seems to be the only way to “cure” C Diff.  The bad news is I would have to suffer through another round of it first.

I was able to fold two loads of laundry today and put the clothes away.  I didn’t have the strength to do that yesterday.  I walked down to the chicken coop yesterday and had to rest a bit before I could make it back up to the house.  Thank heavens Kathy is here and can take care of them properly for me.  I didn’t have the strength to fill their watering container.

I am still in my PJ’s.  I conceded that this was going to be a rest day and decided there was no used getting dressed.

I am to go to Topeka Thursday for a retina exam.  Unless I am feeling lots better by tomorrow I think I will cancel that appointment.  They have to dilate my eyes and inject a dye that causes me to have severe nausea for a bit.  I don’t think I want to go there this week.

Dang!  This sucks!  I was doing so good at not getting sick.  Hoping this isn’t C Diff and just a 24 hour bug of some sort.

Grateful for Kathy’s help and presence, grateful for this beautiful day on the prairie, and grateful I am feeling a bit better this afternoon.

I woke up this morning feeling like I got run over by a truck.  I have had diarrhea, muscle aches, headache, low grade temperature and am tired.  All I have done today is take naps.

I walked down this morning to check on the chicks and felt like it was a long, long walk down and back up to the house.  The chicks are doing well.  I’m grateful I didn’t have to fill their watering container as I don’t think I had the strength to lift the bucket of water.

I took an at-home Covid test which was negative.  This doesn’t feel like what I had when I had Covid.  Hoping it is just a little bug of some sort that hitchhiked home with me and it will move on by tomorrow.  If not I will Covid test again tomorrow.  Last time I had Covid it took five days for it to show up positive.  If I have any suspicions that it is Covid I will go get the other type of Covid test.

Grateful I am home, grateful for my comfortable bed, and grateful I had nothing on my calendar today so I could take a rest day.

I moved the chicks to their big house today.  When I came home last night I could smell them all the way upstairs in the house.  It was time to get them outside.  Kathy helped me clean up the mess they made and carry them down to the big house.  I still have cleaning to do in the furnace room and then need to put everything back in it’s place but am making progress.  It has been a big job to get that room cleaned up.

When I went down to check on the girls this afternoon they seem to be settling into their new digs.  Several had found the roosting bars and were enjoying sitting on them.  I hooked the heat lamp up for night time to make sure they stay warm enough at night.  They have plenty of room to get away from the heat lamp if they get too hot with it on.  I will keep them inside the coop for several days and then let them go outside during the day.  I’ll have to set timers to make sure I remember to go down to let them in and out.  Once it stays warm enough at night I can leave their door open at night but it needs to be 70 or over at night before I can do that.

I need to drive around to the back of my house and load up all the trash bags of used wood shavings.  I think I will dump them on my recycling pile as I don’t have room in my trash can for them.  I also have things to take down to the barn to store until the next time I get chicks.  I think next time I will get chicks in the hot summer time so I can start them in the big house to begin with.  Lots less mess that way.

I found a dead mouse – yuck!  I got brave and managed to get it in the trash bag with the help of the dust pan.  When I was fixing the big house for the chicks a mouse dropped out of the sliding door that closes up the little door the chicks use to go in and out of the coop.  Enough with mice today!

I am a bit tired today.  I probably should have taken a rest day and moved the chicks tomorrow but it was time for them to go out.  I will enjoy my house more if I don’t smell them inside.  I may finish up the job tomorrow but we will see how I do today.  I took a rest and will try to get some more done today.

I have two problems to solve.  I went out and looked at the painting on the deck Kathy and I had done before I left for Vegas.  The paint is failing already – even on the new boards that had never been painted before.  Not sure if it just needs a second coat or if I got the wrong type of paint.  I will have to figure that out before I bother painting any more.  No use painting if it isn’t going to work.

The second issue is in the furnace room.  There is a floor drain in there and wood shavings got down the drain.  Not sure how many but I know some did.  Not sure what I need to do to make sure the shavings go on down and don’t plug up the drain.

I’m sure when I am not so tired I will figure out a solution to both of those issues.  I’m a bit fried today and my brain is not functioning at 100% right now.

Tomorrow I need to call John Deere and find out when they are returning my mower.  It is time to do my first mow of the season.  I also need to call my plumber and order a new kitchen faucet and have them check to make sure I didn’t get a water leak in the barn over the winter.  I like being able to use the bathroom in the barn during mowing season but don’t want to turn the water on in the barn until I know for sure I don’t have a broken pipe.

I got another bill from my divorce attorney that I wasn’t expecting.  I had forgotten she had to register a quit claim deed on the rental properties.  That finally got done and she billed me for the time it took to do that.  Trusting this will be the last and final bill from her.

I hope the run of bills I have been racking up is coming to a close.  They seem to come in bunches and this bunch has been a big one.  Yikes!  I am overdue for a couple months of no unexpected bills.

Luckily I don’t have anything on my calendar until Thursday this week so I can take a couple of days and get all the way home and get caught up.  I don’t think I have to go get groceries for a couple of days so I can stay home all day tomorrow.  I will finish up the furnace room project and get the basement cleaned from the chick mess.

I have two guests coming the last week in April and will need to clean my whole house between now and then.  It will give me a good reason to clean which I have needed to get me started.  The two guys are coming in so they can play in the disc golf tournament.  Both have stayed with me before and are like friends to me.  It will be fun to have them here and visit with them.

It felt good to come home with a little bit of gas still in my tank.  I was pleased that I was able to stay somewhat full during the trip.  It makes me feel more comfortable about my upcoming trip to Europe in September.  This trip had several opportunities for me to practice some different techniques I have learned and I was pleased that I was able to use them successfully for me.  Self development is a life-long process and I am pleased to learn new tricks.

Grateful the chicks are in their big house tonight, grateful for Kathy’s help in helping me move them there, and grateful for life lessons.

I got home tonight around 12:40.  We had a long travel day.  We checked out of the hotel at 11:00 Vegas time (which is 1:00 KS time).  We decided to go to the airport as we really didn’t have anything else to do.

The ride to the airport only took 15 minutes today.  Wednesday when we arrived it took 45.  There was little traffic.  Going through security took 10 minutes at the most.  There were few people in line.  Nicole has TSA pre-check and it took her longer to get through than it took Michelle and I.

Our flight didn’t leave until 5:00 Vegas time so we had a long afternoon of sitting at the airport.  There were not many food choices and no shops so we people watched and airplane watched.

Our flight departed on time and arrive 7 minutes before scheduled.  It was smooth and easy.  The new airport was easy to navigate and the blue bus showed up after only a few minutes wait.

We saw prairie fires from our view in the airplane as we flew over KS tonight.  They are just as beautiful from the air as they are up close.  We saw one fire on the way home outside of Ottawa.

We got to my car and then went to Nicole’s house to drop her off then headed home.  I dropped Michelle off and came home.  It was ever so good to get home.

This trip helped me learn more about each of my daughters and who they have become as adults.  I made some wonderful memories and will always treasure this trip.  I also learned some things about myself which I always appreciate doing.

Grateful for the time I had with my daughters in Vegas, grateful to be home safe and sound, and grateful for the beautiful moon that watched over us on our drive home tonight.

We took a quieter day today.  Nicole and I went and had pedicures this morning.  That was relaxing.  I had a bruised big toe nail that she was able to remove the dried blood under the nail.

We walked around for a bit outside after our pedicures as it was a beautiful day but I think we were all tired and the streets were a bit crowded.  We came back to the room and we all took a short nap.

My friends from CA called me today.  They are the ones I met when I walked the Camino.  It is always a good day when I hear from them.

Nicole used part of her big winnings and treated us to a fancy dinner tonight.  We went to an Italian restaurant that was fabulous.  We walked through the shops at Caesar’s afterwards to walk off our dinner.  We all ate too much.

I’m glad we are going home tomorrow.  A little bit of Vegas goes a long way.  Too many people and too much stimulation for this country girl.

I am proud that I have been able to keep myself full while I have been here.  I had to take a few breaks but was able to take good care of myself and will be going home with gas still in my tank.  It may take me a few days to fully refill once I get home.  I look forward to sitting in my corner chair and listening to the silence.

Tomorrow our flight got changed from 3:00 to 5:00 so it will be a long day.  We have to check out at 11:00.  We will have the hotel store our bags and go have a long lunch and then head for the airport.  The Vegas airport can be a challenge so we will allow lots of extra time so we can stay stress free.  We will land around 10:00 then drop Nicole off at her house and then head for the hills.  With good luck we will be home by 1:00.  I’m glad Michelle will be with me to help me stay awake.

Grateful for this time I have had with my daughters, grateful we are going home tomorrow, and grateful for the lessons I have learned this trip.

 

Nicole is the big winner so far in Vegas.  Last night she hit a $1,215 jackpot and today hit one for $480.  Michelle and I haven’t hit anything.  It is fun watching Nicole get lucky.

We walked around the area today.  The garden at Bellagio was a beautiful respite.  The water garden at Flamingo was another enjoyable stop.  There are lots of people out and about and the weather was perfect – not too hot and not too cold.

We had breakfast at Hash House A Go Go that was delicious but the portion sizes were huge.  None of us needed lunch after such a big breakfast.

We went to the 4:00 showing of the musical Menopause which was hilarious.  It was well done and we laughed and clapped along.

We had dinner after the show at In-N-Out Burger.  I had never eaten there and it was a great choice.  There was a long line but it went fast, service was excellent and the food was hot and fresh.  We found a table outside and enjoyed the warm early evening while we ate.

Tonight Michelle stayed in the room and Nicole and I went back down to try our luck.  Neither one of us won anything but we had fun trying.

I have done well with not getting overwhelmed.  At one point this afternoon we sat on the bridge overlooking the water feature at Caesars Palace and got away from the crowds for a bit.  It helped me not get drained.

I walked 16,485 steps today for a total of 7.17 miles.  Not bad for this couch potato.

Not sure what we are doing tomorrow.  Nicole is going to treat us to a fancy dinner with some of her winnings.  We may hang around the pool for a bit tomorrow afternoon and try to get some sun.  It is to be in the low 70’s so barely warm enough for the pool.

It feels like we have been here longer than 24 hours.  A little bit of Vegas goes a long ways.  We still have all day and night tomorrow and then Saturday our flight doesn’t leave until 5:00pm so will have a long day Saturday.  I’m sure we will find something fun to do tomorrow and Saturday.

Grateful for this time with my daughters, grateful for the exercise, and grateful for the beautiful weather we are having.

We arrived safely in Vegas.  Our flight was a bit delayed out of KC due to a maintenance issue but we weren’t too far behind schedule.  Traffic was very heavy from the airport to the hotel.  The new KC airport was nice.  Nicole has TSA Pre-check and went through security in 2 minutes.  It took Michelle and I about 20 minutes to get through.

We had lunch at a restaurant at the airport.  The flight was mainly smooth with the normal turbulence as we got close to Vegas.  The flight wasn’t jam packed full.  It was my first time flying Spirit.  The center isle was nice and wide but the distance between seats seemed smaller than I was used to.  We were able to carry on our bags without question.

We are staying at the Mirage.  Our room is nice and we overlook the volcano.  Lots of people out and about and lots of cars on the roads.  I think I am not in Chase County anymore!

We walked over to the Colosseum hotel and had dinner at Planet Hollywood.  It was OK but not great.  Prices of food are really high.  Service was not great either.  I have a feeling I’m going to be tired of eating out by the time I get home Saturday night.

The girls went to a musical show tonight.  Nicole was given two free tickets for a show tonight.  I am tired as I woke up at 3:00 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I came back to our room after dinner and will attempt sleep soon.  I bet they will have a great time and I will have a great time getting some quiet time.

So far I have managed the crowds and noise OK.  I didn’t hit overwhelm today.  Not sure what our plans are for tomorrow or Friday.  We will hit the main drag sometime tomorrow and see what fun we can find.

Enjoying the time with my daughters.  Priceless!

Grateful for a safe trip, grateful for this time with my daughters, and grateful for a quiet evening.

It has been a windy day on the prairie today.  Had a 53.4 MPH gust with averages of 25 – 30 most of the day.  Way too windy to paint today.

Went back out after dinner last night and painted some more railing.  Didn’t get to the steps yet but got close.  It was easier painting once it cooled down a bit and the sun wasn’t in my eyes.  The rest of it will have to wait until I get back from my short trip to Vegas.

My handyman came out to remove the water softener and other stuff from the furnace room this afternoon.  I had to move one crate of the chicks to the hallway to make room for him to work.  Kathy helped me carry the crate to the hallway and then back again when the handyman was done.

The furnace room is going to need a good cleaning once the chicks get outside.  There is a thick coating of dust everywhere in the room. I had a basket of yarn sitting out and hope that I can savage it.  Most everything else is in tubs with lids.

The project of removing the water softener had been on my pending list for over three years.  Good to have it finally out of the room.  That frees up lots more wall space so once the chicks are moved outside I can rearrange things in that room and be able to find whatever I need easily.  I so appreciate Phil.

I got packed for my trip tomorrow.  The bags I had ordered had more than enough room for three days of clothes and my purse.  You are only allowed one personal item so purses have to fit inside it.  Spirit Airlines is picky about the size of bag you can carry on so I ordered bags for each of us that meet their requirements.  I had ordered one for each of us as they were only $12 each.  I have heard Spirit likes to find things to charge you for so trusting these bags will work and we won’t have to pay $69 to check one bag one way.

The bags fold up in a little case so plan on taking it with me to Europe in September and using it as a way to bring souvenirs home with me.  I will only take my hard case carry on bag with me.  Sometimes I end up checking it as it is easier to navigate big airports without dragging the bag with me.  But if I don’t have too much time at the airport I can carry it on.  This new bag is the perfect size to put souvenirs in and I can carry it on board and check my hard case.

Trusting I didn’t forget anything.  I keep reminding myself we are not going to a third world country and Vegas has plenty of stores in case I forgot something.  I even remembered to put my extra printer and toners in the car to take to Nicole.  She doesn’t have a printer and I have an extra one to give her.  I love that a couple more things are leaving my house.

Nicole got us our boarding passes this afternoon so we are all set for tomorrow’s flight.  I will pick Michelle up around 9:45 and head to Nicole’s house to pick her up and then to the airport.  We have a 3:00 non-stop flight to Vegas.

Kathy went with me to dump recycling.  I’m grateful she did as I had to hold the door open while she dumped stuff in the trailer.  It would have been a challenge to dump things in with the wind blowing the door closed.  I always feel good when I clean out my garage and get rid of all the boxes and other recycling stuff I accumulated.  One of these days soon I need to clean the garage out but I don’t think I would have much luck blowing the dirt outside today.  It would blow back in faster than I could blow it out.

Feels so good to have the deck painting project started and the water softener gone.  I can get overwhelmed sometimes with all that needs to be done around here and find it helpful when I see progress being made.  I have finally learned to ask for help and pay people to do things I can’t do.  I am so grateful I have Phil who can do most anything at a price I can afford.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and spending time with my daughters.  As I get older I can’t think of anything I like to do better than spend time with the people I love.  Time seems to go so fast these days and I need to remember to stop and find reasons to see the people I love.

Grateful for Phil and how efficient and fun he is to work with, grateful for Kathy’s help again today, and grateful the trip is finally here!

Went to Emporia this morning and purchased 200 pounds of chicken feed and two bales of cottonseed hulls from Bluestem.  I went to the service desk and ordered and paid for it and then drove around back and the guys loaded it in my car.  Easy!  Now if I could only bring one of them home with me to help me unload it.

Filled the car up with gas so I am ready to drive to KC and the airport on Wednesday.  Stopped at an ATM and deposited a check and withdrew some cash for my trip.  Went to Walmart and picked up a prescription and a few groceries and then came home.

Went out to paint on the deck.  Kathy came out and helped .  We got six sections of the upper deck railings painted.  I think there are a total of 15 plus the four on the steps and four on the step landing.  We got the project started.  It was almost too hot painting as the sun was bearing down on us.  No wind today though so took advantage of a rare spring day and got some done.  I’ll try to get out in the morning and do another bunch of railings.  The deck floor will go fast but the railings are tedious and take patience and time.  The ladder work will need to get done sometime too and I dread that.  Grateful the project has gotten started.  I am using a different type of stain this time and hoping that it will last a lot longer than the type I used before.  I like the color of it.  I’m anxious to see it with the deck flooring painted.   I use different colors for each.

Michelle let me know Tagen has a baseball game tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 so will go in to watch that.  It is a double header but not sure I will stay for both games.  Usually when he has a double header I take Ellexia out for dinner after the first game is over.  It is to be 85 tomorrow afternoon so a perfect day to sit and watch a baseball game – hopefully in the shade.

My new glasses came in today – five days early.  Great job Warby Parker.  The prescription got changed and it is going to take me a bit to adjust to them.  They don’t feel balanced between the left and right eye.  I’ll see if I can adjust to them and will have to return to the store if not.  My left eye is hard to get right as I have a vision distortion in that eye.

I called my cardiologist to make an appointment.  I was on the phone for over 20 minutes.  One operator transferred me to another operator who transferred me to another operator who transferred me to a nurse.  I ended up having to leave a message.  They called me back and tried to give me a June appointment time.  I told them I could come to Topeka and they found a day in early May.  Good thing it isn’t too urgent.  I am getting concerned with my slow heart rate.  Last night I got 14 notifications that my heart rate had dropped below 45 and stayed there for over 10 minutes each time.  Most of the time it was 40 – 42.  One time it was 38.  I feel my heart skipping a beat occasionally, especially at night.  I’ve been to him before and he didn’t do anything so not sure it will do any good to go see him again but the skipping heart beat thing is new and he told me to come back if something like that happened.

I share half of my driveway with a neighbor.  He called today and wants to order some gravel for the driveway.  I told him I would pay for my part of it and asked him to have them deliver some all the way up my part of the drive too.  He is going to arrange it and let me know how much I owe him for my part of it.  We have to do this every couple of years.  The gravel seems to disappear and deep ruts show up.  I’ll be grateful to have some fresh gravel added.

It felt good to move my body and paint today.  I also walked down to get the mail.  Whatever I was holding on to yesterday is gone today.  I’m grateful for that.  Sometimes my job is to allow whatever I am feeling to be present and not force it or deny my feelings.  I prefer knowing what it is but I’m OK with it just leaving too.  One of the best things I ever did for myself was to give myself permission to feel whatever I was feeling and not label them as “good” or “bad” and feel shame about them.  The more I can sit with and honor what ever shows up, the quicker they pass through and I no longer get stuck in them.  Sometimes I know what they are and can name and claim them, other times they just are and then they are gone without me knowing what they were.

Tomorrow will be busy as I want to paint some more in the morning, pack for my trip and then go to town to watch the baseball game.  I’m so looking forward to getting away for a couple of days and spending time with my daughters.  Trusting the flights will be on time and the trip will be full of fun, laughter and love.

Grateful the deck project has begun, grateful my new glasses have arrived, and grateful for Kathy’s help on the deck painting project.

It was a beautiful but windy day on the prairie today,  We had a 53.4 MPH wind gust in the last 24 hours.  Too windy to paint.

I didn’t do anything again today.  I have managed to string lots of days together without doing anything.  My body is going to forget how to move if I don’t start getting up and finding myself something to do.

Tomorrow I need to go to Emporia and run some errands.  I almost went in today but the feed store wasn’t open which meant I would have had to go back tomorrow so decided to do it all in one trip tomorrow.  Trying to get all the things I need to get before my trip on Wednesday.  Hoping I won’t forget anything and have to go back to town on Tuesday.

Feeling a bit restless and a bit out of sorts today. Some things got stirred up in me last week and I am having trouble letting them go.  I thought I had managed to do so yesterday but they came roaring back today.  Must have some remnants of things that I need to heal and release.  I haven’t fallen in the muck pond today, just have felt restless and unsettled.  Can’t quite put my finger on what is bothering me.  Maybe by tomorrow it will be gone or at least I will figure out what is bothering me.  When I can name it and claim it, I can release it easier.  Can’t quite name it so I can claim it today.

The chicks continue to grow and eat.  Ten more days before I can move them outside.  The two dog crates are working well for them.  Trusting that when I combine the two flocks they will be OK with each other.  There is a real pecking order within chickens and sometimes they don’t play nice.  Hopefully since there are 14 in each group they will be able to integrate again and be nice to each other.

I went down to the barn expecting to see the mower but it has not been returned.  I will need to stop by the John Deere place on my way to town tomorrow and find out when they are returning it.  Maybe I needed to pay first.  Last year I didn’t but maybe they changed their policy.  I noticed the trip charge increased from $50 to $80.  Yikes!  The service part was the same cost as last year so I guess a $30 increase in the total bill from a year ago is reasonable.

The kitchen sink faucet is starting to go bad.  It is getting to be a bit of a challenge to make sure the water gets turned off after I use it.  I’ll have to call my plumber and have him order me a new one and come out and replace it.  Dang, it seems there is always something that needs attention out here.  I get tired of spending my money on boring things like faucets and plumbers.

I also need to call the guttering guy again.  He had promised me two months ago he would be out “soon”.  My definition of soon must be different than his as I haven’t heard from him.  I want to get the guttering fixed and off my pending list.  It has been on there since the end of December.  Anyone know of anyone that does guttering?  Maybe I need to try someone else.

The forecast for tomorrow is calling for light wind.  Maybe it will be a good day to paint.  I almost hate to start it and then be gone for the rest of the week but I need to paint when I can.  It has been hard to find a warm enough day without wind to paint.  Better take advantage of one when it shows up.

I wish Emporia had a yarn shop.  I need some more yarn to finish a blanket I am making.  I struggle to order yarn on-line as the colors look different in person than they do on-line.  I didn’t alter the pattern of the blanket I am making and I don’t have enough yarn to finish making it.  I will go down and see what I have downstairs but am pretty sure I won’t find enough to make do.  Dang, I should have altered the pattern.  Maybe Las Vegas has a yarn shop!

My renter in Cottonwood Falls let me know she will continue to rent my rental house in Cottonwood for next year.  I had to increase the rent a bit due to property taxes and insurance rates increasing.  I hated to raise the rent but I can’t keep eating the increases.  I hadn’t raise her rate since she moved in 1 1/2 years ago.

Think I will go out and take a short walk.  I need to more my body and maybe that will help move some feelings and emotions through.  I am very restless and uneasy tonight.  Wish I knew why!

Grateful the wind has slowed down a bit this evening, grateful for notes on my phone so I won’t forget something when I go to town tomorrow, and grateful tomorrow is a new day.

It has been a beautiful day on the prairie.  The sun has been out all day and the wind finally slowed down.  It was a tad cooler than forecasted but tomorrow it is to be warmer.  I am hoping I can get out and paint tomorrow.

I sat in my chair and knitted today.  I have been binge watching Virgin River while knitting.  I have two more episodes to watch of season four.  Haven’t done much else.  Decided to make it a lazy day and a do nothing day.

I got a bill from the John Deere dealer for the work they did on my mower.  I haven’t made it down to the barn yet but thinking they returned the mower without letting me know they were bringing it out.  I’m glad it is ready to go for this mowing season.  Now I need to either get my push mower fixed or get a new one.

Kathy got her new glasses today and I should get mine Monday.  They came in earlier than expected.  I love companies that come through better than you expect.

I signed up to volunteer for Hospice last July.  I went to their training last October and hadn’t heard anything from them.  Today I got a letter asking me for some more information.  Thinking they need to get better organized.  I don’t know if they will ever call me to let me volunteer.

Monday I will need to go to Emporia and get more chicken feed.  I will open my last bag today and I don’t want Kathy to run out while I am in Vegas.  I will need to switch to another kind of feed after the next couple of bags.  In another 12 days I can move them outside.

I still haven’t started my packing list so need to get that done before I go to Emporia Monday in case I need to pick something up for the trip.  I think I have all I need but need to double check.  I only have three more days before I leave for Vegas.  I need to make a list of things I need to take care of before I leave.  Sometimes it seems to take a lot of work to get away for a couple of days.

It’s been nice to have two quiet days at home.  I will probably stay home all day tomorrow unless something comes up that I don’t know about now.  I feel like I have been able to refill myself and each time I can do that it feels more solid than before.  It is taking me less time to recover when I get close to empty.  I will take that as a sign of progress on my recovery healing path.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the sun shine all day, and grateful the mower is back home and ready to go.

 

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STARRY NIGHT ON THE PRAIRIE

My Prairie View of the World

Went to KC today.  It was a quick trip up and back.  I fought the wind driving both ways.  I came home really tired as the drive didn’t feel as easy as normal with the high wind.  I found myself holding my breath when I passed a semi as they were weaving a bit.

I stopped and got three more gallons of deck paint.  I don’t think that will be enough but will get this much on and then get a better feel for how much more I will need.  I don’t want to end up with lots left over.

Went to the jewelry store and as promised my ring was ready.  They did a nice job with it and I am pleased with how it turned out.  I wish I had ordered it a half size smaller as it fits a bit looser that I would like.  I don’t think it will slip off but I like it nice and tight so there is no chance it could happen.  I’ll wear it for a bit and then decide it I want to take it back in to have it sized a bit smaller.

I met two friends for lunch.  We stayed and visited for over 2 1/2 hours.  It was good to catch up with them and see them again.  The time went by quickly and I enjoyed our long lunch.

I was going to stop at Costco but decided it was too much for me today.  I headed home instead.  I’m glad I did as the drive home was a challenge due to the wind.  I came home exhausted and was ever so glad to be home again.  I got home before I was completely drained but if I had stopped at Costco I would have reached empty.

The temperature has started dropping as the clouds have been rolling in.  Sure hope we get some rain out of this system that is passing through but not sure that will happen.  It seems to be mainly bluster and nothing to show for it.

I don’t have anything on my calendar for the weekend.  I hope to get out and paint if the weather cooperates.  It can’t be too windy or too cold.  Hard to find a day in the spring time of KS that meets those two requirements.  We will see what happens.

It will be good to stay home for the next couple of days.  I need to start building some reserves for my trip to Vegas next week.  The best way for me to do that is to stay home.  I am getting excited about the trip to Vegas and especially the time I will get to spend with my daughters.

I need to check with the grandKids and see if they need any treats this weekend.  They are both doing spring sports so it is hard for me to catch them to see them these days.  Tagen is playing base ball and Ellexia is playing tennis. I need to find out when they are playing so I can go watch them.  I usually only go to one or two of their events but I sure don’t want to miss them completely.

I need to find some motivation and do some housecleaning.  I noticed this week how dirty the baseboards are and that the house really needs a good cleaning again.  I can’t wait till I can open the windows and let the spring air in.  However when I do that the dust comes right in with it so cleaning almost feels counterintuitive right now.  Not sure I can let it go too much longer though.  Once I notice it, I will feel guilty sitting and not cleaning it.  Dang, need to remind myself not to look for dirt as I seem to find it.

Sitting in a good space this afternoon.  I’m grateful I realized going to Costco would have been too much and I brought myself home instead.  I’m still working on offering myself grace and taking good care of myself.  Sometimes I won’t allow myself to accept it though.  Today I was able to.  I will call that my win of the day.

Grateful for friends and long lunches, grateful for a safe drive to and from KC, and grateful for the abundance of grace and mercy.

The night sky last night was amazing.  Kathy and I went out to look at the planet alignment about an hour or two after sunset.  There was no wind and it was a perfect night to star gaze.  I can’t wait for warmer evening temperatures so I can sit out on the deck and enjoy the nights on the prairie.

I went to Emporia today to go back to the library book sale to get a sack of books for $5.  I managed to find a sack full.  They have had a very successful sale and the pickings are getting pretty slim.  Tomorrow they will be open from 9:00 – noon and a bag of books is $2.

I stopped at the Tractor Supply store and got a bag of wood shavings.  I was out and will need to clean the pens at least once more, if not twice before the girls get moved outside.  I’m pleased with how well the dog crates are working. They push the wood shavings out of the crate but they will clean up easily when the girls get moved outside.

Went to Walmart and got some yogurt.  I stopped at Freddie’s and had lunch and then came home.

It is a beautiful day on the prairie today.  The temperature has reached the low 60’s and the sun has been out all day.  It should be another beautiful night to star gaze.  Last night someone was burning a pasture just south of us.  We could smell the grass fire smoke and see the flames burning as we watched the stars.  Doesn’t get much better than that on the prairie.

Tomorrow I am meeting two friends for lunch and then picking up my ring.  I will also go to Home Depot and get more deck paint and make a stop at Costco.  I put the paint cans I need more of in the car so I can take them in so they can get me what I need.  I also put a cooler in the car so I can get the frozen stuff I need from Costco.  It will be a quick trip to KC but a fun one.  I haven’t seen one of the two friends I am meeting since Covid started in 2020.

I plan on starting the deck painting project Friday.  The forecast for the weekend and into next week looks promising that I will have some good painting days.  It would be nice to get a good start on it before I leave for Vegas next Wednesday.  I have needed a big project to do and this one is a big one.

The littlest chicks are four weeks old today.  Two more weeks before they can be moved outside.  Taking care of them is easier since they got moved to the dog crates.  They sure eat a lot right now.  I fill their three pound feeders three times a day.  That means they are going through 18 pounds of chick feed daily.  I will need to get a couple more bags mid-week next week.  I will switch them to the next type of feed once I moved them outside and then when they are four months old will switch them to egg layer feed.  They won’t start laying until July when they will be about five months old.

My knitting project seems to be taking a long time.  I started knitting a blanket so I can use up some yarn that I have had for a long time.  May have to alter the pattern a bit as I planned on repeating some of the colors but I won’t have enough yarn if I do it the way the pattern calls for.  I’m at a decision point in the making of the blanket and need to make a decision and get on with it.  I can use other colors if I decide not to alter it but then I will have single skeins of colors left over and sometimes it is hard to use up a single skein of one color.

I have green chicken cooking in the crock pot for dinner tonight.  I’m not very hungry yet as I had a big lunch but hoping I will get hungry later and will eat some.  It is one of my favorite ways to cook chicken.  The leftovers are good too so I will eat it another day if I don’t eat it all tonight.

A week from today I fly to Vegas with my daughters.  I need to start making a packing list so I don’t forget something important.  I am really looking forward to this trip with my girls.  Time with my grown children is like gold to me.  Priceless!

Still maintaining my consciousness level above mid-point.  I’m amazed I am able to do that most of the time now.  I still fall down the ladder occasionally and wallow in the muck pond for a bit but I seem to be able to climb back up rather quickly these days.  It has been three months since the divorce was final and five months since I have seen or talked to Jim.  Time does help one heal along with the work I am doing on myself.

Grateful for the beauty of the night sky on the prairie, grateful for the healing work that I have and continue to do, and grateful the temperatures are warming back up.

There was a light covering of snow on the prairie this morning.  I’m grateful I didn’t move the chicks outside a week ago.  The sun has been out today and it has warmed up to the low 50’s and all traces of snow have melted away.  I bundled up to walk the trash down to the curb and was too warm.  No wind today which makes it even feel warmer than it is.

I didn’t get up until late today.  I stayed up too late last night so I slept in this morning.  I don’t think I even got up to pee last night which is unusual.  I slept long and hard.  I didn’t get dressed until I realized I needed to take the trash to the curb and didn’t want to do it in my PJ’s.  Feels good to take a lazy day and stay home and do nothing.  Although lately I seem to do nothing most days!

The dog crates are working well for the chicks.  One of them walked outside the crate when I was reaching in to get the feed and watering containers but it turned around and walked back in.  They have lots more room and seem to be content.  They are going through 12 pounds of feed a day right now.

Nothing on my calendar for tomorrow unless I decide to go back to the library sale and get a bag of books for $5.  I will need a few groceries one of these days but nothing urgent so may stay home again tomorrow.  We shall see what I decide to do.  Thursday I am going to KC for the day and have no plans for the weekend.

A week from tomorrow Nicole, Michelle and I are headed for Las Vegas for a couple of days.  I am really looking forward to spending time with my daughters.  We don’t have anything planned for while we are there but know we will find something to do that will be tons of fun.  Just spending time with them is all I want to do.

I need to remember to get out my chain saw, AKA razor, and shave my legs before we leave.  I rarely shave during the winter time as there is no real point to doing so.  I plan on taking a bathing suit to Vegas although I may not put it on.  Need to have my legs ready in case I get brave and go to the pool.

The ten day forecast is starting to look like spring.  By the weekend we are to be in the low to mid 70’s and the night time temperatures are not to fall below 40.  I hope to start painting my deck Sunday if the forecast holds.  I have needed a big project and that will provide me lots to do for the next couple of weeks.  I sure want to get it done before the heat of the summer kicks in.  Anyone want to come help me paint Sunday?  It will be fun……

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I told her I feel “safe” for the first time in a long time.  I have been thinking about that today and what that means.  My central nervous system has finally calmed down and I am not in fight or flight, freeze or fawn state all the time.  I still react quicker than I used to when things come up unexpected and I get surprised but I can go back to a calm state fairly quickly.

I realized when I feel safe I have lots of options and choices in what and how I want to respond to life.  I can allow myself time to pause and choose.  Before I didn’t feel I had many choices and couldn’t sort through the ones I had.  Not sure if that makes sense.  I didn’t realize when I was stuck in the fight or flight mode the damage it was doing to me.  I was using so much energy just to survive that I wasn’t thriving.  I feel like I am now thriving in a new way.  Feels good to be back on track with my personal inner journey.

Grateful for a long night’s sleep, grateful for the sunshine on the prairie today, and grateful I now feel “safe” to be myself again.

What a day on the prairie.  I went to Emporia this morning.  Stopped at the Vet’s office and got flea and tick medication for two dogs and two cats and HeartGuard for the two dogs for three months.  Spent almost $300!  Another customer must have seen my face when I was told the cost.  She quickly told me “They are worth it”.  Somedays I’m not sure that is true.

Between the meds for the dogs and cats and chicken feed my budget for the month is blown.  I have spent way more on my animals this month than on me.

Went to the library book sale.  Today and tomorrow is bag day for $10 a bag.  There were three small children running around, screaming and doing what little ones do.  They almost tripped an older lady and pushed others out of their way.  I could only handle it so long and had to remove myself from the room.  I didn’t get a full bag of books but I took care of myself.

I usually enjoy watching little ones play but today I didn’t enjoy them.  The mother was looking at books and didn’t notice her children pushing people out of their way or tripping others.  Guess she is used to the noise and chaos they were causing.  I think my age was showing itself to me a bit today!

I went to Bobby D’s for lunch.  I enjoy their brisket without sauce or the bun.  It was nice to treat myself to lunch out.  I had a great waitress and it was nice to get waited on.

I filled the car up with gas on my way home.  Glad to see gas prices are below $3 a gallon.  It costs $40 to fill my car up at those prices.  Better than the $65 I paid mid-year last year.

Came home and cleaned out the chick’s pens.  I went down to the barn and brought up the second big dog crate and set it up.  I put the chicks that were in the nursery pen into the dog crate.  As I would catch a chick I would hand it to Kathy and she put them in the dog crate.  I had to try to keep the top covered as the chicks can fly out and over.  Had two fly out and over but managed to catch one easily.  The second one gave Kathy a run for her money but Kathy persisted and got the little bugger.

They will have more room in the dog crate than they did in the nursery.  I have more room to move in the furnace room with the big table down.  We had to wrap the crate with cardboard so the little buggers don’t squeeze themselves out.  I’ll keep the door closed in case they escape.

At one point I had to ask my dad for some help.  I needed to figure out how to attach the cardboard and hang the heat lamp.  He helped me remember zip ties.  I love those things.  I struggle to make them work right but finally remembered how to use them.  Dad always shows up for me when I have to figure something like that out.

The chicks seem happy in their new surroundings and quieted down a bit afterwards.  The other pen got fresh linens and clean watering containers.  I have two more weeks before I can move them outside.  I’ll need to get some more wood shavings next time I go to town as I will need to change them out at least one more time before I move them out.

Don’t have anything on my calendar for tomorrow or Wednesday.  Thursday I am meeting some friends for lunch in KC after I pick up my ring.  One of them I haven’t seen since Covid started so it will be good to catch up with her.  I need to go to Home Depot while I am in the city and get more deck paint so I can start that project next weekend.  It looks like Sunday will be a good day to paint.

I may go back to the library book sale tomorrow and get some more books.  I am sure I have enough to get me through until the next book sale this fall but it is hard to pass up $10 for a bag of books.  New books have gotten so expensive I would hate to run out and have to pay retail price for a book.

I need to vacuum the steps and clean up the wood shaving mess I made.  I tracked up the carpet on the steps running up and down getting things to get this project completed.  Maybe I will wait two more weeks as I’m sure I will track it up again going up and down to take care of the little buggers each day.  I usually go down to check on them several times a day.

It was interesting to watch myself react to the noise and chaos of the children at the library today.  I could feel my consciousness level dropping.  I could tell the mother wasn’t going to do anything so decided the best thing for me was to remove myself from the situation.  As I walked into the other side of the building I could feel my consciousness level start to rise again.

It felt good to recognize an external force that was effecting me and then be able to do something to take care of myself.  I knew I had plenty of books at home so it was no big deal to not get what I needed.  I could have come back after lunch if I felt I needed more books today.

There was a time when that little incident would have ruin my day.  Not today – I recognized it for what it was and took care of myself.  I am going to call that my win for the day.

Grateful the chicks are in a bigger pen, grateful the chicks have fresh linens, and grateful for progress on my healing journey.

I had a wonderful surprise today.  Jason and Cody came out and spent a couple of hours with me.  It was so fun to have them here for a bit.  Cody played with legos and Lincoln logs and watched a movie.  He told me the chicks are now big girls.

I haven’t gotten much done today.  I am working on doing my laundry but keep forgetting about it so it sits for a while.  I’ll get it done before the end of the day if I can manage to stay up that late.

I went to bed at 5:30 last night and slept hard until around 9:30.  I got up and then couldn’t go back to sleep until 4:00.  Slept in till 8:30 this morning.  Between the two sleeps I got enough sleep but it didn’t feel that way.

It was nice to stay home all day.  It was even nicer to have Jason and Cody come out.  The sun has came out off and on today but it has been chilly out.  I am so looking forward to warmer temperatures.  I hope we get a bit of spring once it warms up.  I’m afraid it will go directly to summer like temperatures.

Tomorrow I want to go to Emporia and shop the book sale at the library.  I didn’t get a chance to look for books when I worked the sale yesterday.  I need to get the cats and dogs their quarterly flea and tick medication while I am in town.  I will pick up a few groceries and then I won’t have to go back to town for several days.

Thursday or Friday I have to go back to KC to pick up the ring I am having made.  They had to order something so they could set the diamond in the ring I want it in.  It is to be ready Wednesday if the part comes in as expected.

I don’t have anything else on my calendar for this week.  I need to check with some friends and get something scheduled.  Too much free time is not good for me,

Felt a bit down and lonely last night.  I was grateful when I got up this morning I was back up the consciousness ladder.  Not sure why those feelings came up last night but I honored them and sat with them for a bit.  Maybe they just needed to be acknowledged and heard.

Life is interesting at times.  I think I have things figured out and then curve balls get thrown at me and things change.  Sometimes it takes me a bit to keep up with the changes.  I need to create a new picture in my head of what my future is going to look like.  I don’t have a clear sense of what it might be like right now.  I need to make some new dreams and hopes and do a mind shift of sorts.

Grateful Jason and Cody came to play with me today, grateful I was able to allow my feelings to be what they were and they sailed on through, and grateful for the unlimited potential of my future.

This has been a beautiful day on the prairie.  The temperature reached higher than forecast and the sun has been out to play most of the day.  The clouds are starting to roll in this afternoon and we have a chance of rain later today.  It was so nice to have a sunny day.

I went in to Emporia and volunteered at the Friends of the Library Book Sale today.  I only had to work two hours so it went fast.  We were nice and steady busy most of the time.  I got to do the cash table so got to sit most of the time. It was fun to watch families come in and the little children picking out books. Most of the adult books were only $2 or $3 each – what a bargain.  Monday and Tuesday you can get a whole bag of books for $10.  Wednesday a bag is only $5.  I need to go back to town Tuesday so will get a bag or two then.

I finally got a good night’s sleep last night.  I didn’t wake up much during the night which was wonderful.  If felt good to get lots of sleep.  I am tired this afternoon but thinking that is because I have been out of the house so much the last four days.  I get to stay home all day tomorrow and Monday so will have time to recharge and refill.

I don’t have much on my to-do list right now so have lots of empty space time.  When I come home from my Vegas trip I’ll get to start painting the deck as the weather should turn nice by then.  I hope to get it all painted before the heat of the summer hits.  It will be good to have a big project to do.  It has been a bit since I have had a project to work on.

I noticed at the book sale today I was having trouble with my short term memory.  Not sure if I wasn’t paying attention enough or what but I would tell a customer how much they owed and by the time I received their money and went to make change I forgot how much they owed.  Felt a bit slow on the mark today.  I don’t think I cheated anyone or the friends of the library group any money.  I am a visual person and I didn’t see the amount written down of the total owed so it didn’t stick in my brain.  Hopefully it isn’t a sign of something else going on.  I haven’t used my brain much lately to do math so maybe it is a bit rusty.

I need to do a bit of housecleaning tomorrow.  I haven’t done much cleaning lately and it is starting to show dirt.  I don’t have plans to have anyone over so it is hard to find the motivation to clean.  Maybe I need to invite some people over so I have a reason to clean.

I cleaned up my facebook group list.  I had joined a couple of support groups earlier this year but was not finding them helpful so I left them.  Reading the stories of other people being in the situation I had been seem to trigger me and not in a good way.  I am grateful I was able to get out of my situation rather quickly.  So many choose not to for whatever reason.  I tried to help a few out by commenting what had worked for me.  But reading others stories caused me to have flashbacks and then I would start ruminating and I didn’t want to do that.  The group had helped for a bit but it is time for me to move on.

As I learn more and more about setting boundaries I am learning what works for me and what doesn’t.  I am doing some editing of my life and discarding the things that I carried so I could help others.  I am opening up some space for new things to come in and in order to do that I need to discard things that no longer serve me well.  Time for me to reorganize my priorities in life.  My new mantra is “Honor Self and Honor Others”.  If what I do doesn’t honor myself, then I can’t continue doing it.  I can only honor others if I honor myself first.

I feel like I am getting to know myself in a new way.  Life is getting easier and freer for me as I realize how I have allowed others to “use” me and I have violated others boundaries by imposing myself on them.  I will continue to learn more about myself and how best to interact with others.  I’m sure I will make mistakes in this new journey for me but that is part of life too.  Sometimes I learn best by screwing up and trying again.

Grateful for the friends of the library book sale, grateful for empty space, and grateful for learning about boundaries.

Home again after being in KC all day.  We left this morning around 10:00.  First stop was to a jewelry store.  I had an old ring that I wanted the diamond from my wedding ring mounted on.  The store has to order a new base for it but they told me the ring will be ready to be picked up next Wednesday, although they will update me via email as to the exact date.  They made it easy for me and I’m impressed with their quick turnaround time.  I’m grateful I got that project started.

Next we met Nicole at Outback for lunch.  The food was delicious, the service was excellent and the conversation fun.  I was able to deliver Nicole’s carry on bag to her as well as her early birthday present,  I also delivered some bourbon that Tim and Michelle had picked up for her while they were in KY.

Kathy and I went to Costco so I could pick up a few things.  Kathy had never been in a Costco so we toured the store.  I forgot my cooler so only got non perishable goods.  When I go back to KC next week to pick up my ring I will try to remember my cooler and get the frozen stuff I need.

We made it to Warby Parker early for our eye examinations.  We both picked out new frames while we waited for our turn with the eye doctor.  I wasn’t impressed with the eye doctor.  The guy I had seen the last couple of times wasn’t there.  This guy spent more time looking up my past record than he did examining my eyes.

The guy that helped fill out our order was able to combine our order and give us the 15% discount for ordering more than one pair of glasses.  Each of our glasses cost $335.  We both got bifocal lenses as well as transition lenses and new frames.  I l Ike their prices.  They will mail us our glasses within two weeks.

We came home after we finished ordering our new glasses.  The drive home seemed to take a long time.  Not too much traffic once we got out of Gardner.  We drove through some light rain off and on – more off than on.  When we turned down V Rd it started to hail little bits of hail,  It didn’t last long.  I think we got 0.12 inch of rain.  Just enough to make it smell good outside but not enough to water the lawn,

The best part about being gone all day is getting home.  It is nice to sit in my corner chair and listen to the silence.

I got the car unloaded and things put away.  Took care of the chicks.  I put their watering containers inside a bowl and they managed not to knock them over.  One pen had filled the bottom of the container with wood shavings though.  The chicks have gone through 12 pounds of chick feed today.  They are growing fast and eating lots right now.

Tomorrow I work at the Emporia Friends of the Library Book Sale from 12:00 – 2:00.  It is the first day of the sale.  I haven’t worked the first day before so not sure how busy they will be.  I usually work bag days which will be next week.  I’ll go back in next Tuesday and get my semi-annual bag or two of books for $5 a bag.  Hoping I don’t find too many tomorrow that I will want and will have to pay asking price.  Still a bargain though as rarely is a book more than a couple dollars.  Certainly cheaper than buying a new book at the prices they are asking for those these days.

So far today I have been able to maintain my consciousness level at or above mid point.  I’m really tired this evening though and it wouldn’t take much for me to drain completely and fall down the ladder.  Thinking by the time I get home tomorrow afternoon from the book sale, I will be ready to stay home for several days.  Today is three days in a row that I have left the house.  Grateful I am not completely empty inside.

I didn’t sleep well again last night.  Not sure why I haven’t slept well this week.  If I don’t sleep well tonight I will take a full sleeping aid Saturday night and see if that pushes me into slumber land and keeps me there for a bit.  Last night I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep both.  Makes for a long night when that happens.

Next week I will go back to KC one day to pick up my ring but don’t have anything else on my calendar.  I might go to the library book sale to get some books and while I am in town will pick up some groceries.  Hoping the sun shines for part of the week.  I’m tired of cloudy skies with no rain to show for them.  It will be wonderful to have a quiet week at home.

Sometime next week I need to start making my packing list for my trip to Vegas in early April.  I’m looking forward to spending time with my daughters and seeing Vegas with them.  Hoping the weather will be nice while we are there and we can get some pool time and sunshine.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful for the time with Nicole today, and grateful for the discount on the price of my new glasses.

I went to bed at 8:00 last night.  I slept hard for three hours then was up and down the rest of the night.

I went to Emporia this morning for a 9:00 haircut.  After I got my haircut I went to Bluestem and got two bags of chick feed.  Then I went to Walmart and got supplies to make Chex Mix as my granddaughter Ellexia requested some.  I also picked up a prescription that was ready.

I made the Chex Mix this afternoon and need to take it to town later when the kiddos are home from school.  If I keep it in the house too long, I will eat too much of it.  I love it, especially when it is warm but my tummy will holler at me after I eat it.

I haven’t gotten much else done today except checking on the chicks a couple of times.  They seem to be behaving themselves today.  One pen tipped over their watering container again but I don’t think it had much water in it as the wood carvings don’t look too wet.  The big chicks are four weeks old today.  Two more weeks of them inside!

Tomorrow Kathy and I are meeting Nicole for lunch at noon.  Then we are going to Costco to pick up a few things.  Kathy and I both have eye doctor appointments at Warby Parker in the afternoon.  We both will order new glasses and then head for home.

I came home from town above mid-level on the consciousness ladder.  That was a win for the day.  The shopping went easy today and I found all I was looking for.  A haircut usually puts me in a good mood so that helped kick the shopping easier.  We will see what happens tomorrow when I spend the day in KC.

Got the bill for the new kitchen faucet and the installation of it and the booster pump.  I’m glad I was sitting down when I opened it.  Dang things are expensive these days.  So far they haven’t billed me for the new booster pump so hoping they were able to get it covered under warranty.  Grateful I can cross those two things off my pending list.

Still waiting on the guttering guys to come out and repair the front porch guttering that got hit by the moving truck when Jim moved out in December.  The owner of the business said he was waiting for the weather to get nice so he could call his guys back to work full-time.  Maybe in the next month or so they can get out here and get it repaired.

I haven’t heard from John Deere yet about when they are returning my riding mower.  I may stop and check on it when I go to town later today to take the Chex Mix in.  If they are done with it, I will need to pay for the service.  I need to take the push mower in to get it checked over.  The muffler on it had fallen off and I don’t think it ever got fixed.  I’ll have to find someone to take it to to get it ready for the mowing season.

The sun finally came out from under the clouds this afternoon.  It was windy this morning.  I had a 44.2 MPH wind gust.  The wind seems to have calmed down a bit too.  We have a chance for rain tomorrow.  Sure hope it comes and then pulls up a chair and stays awhile.  We could use a couple of inches to help fill the farm ponds.

We have a chance for light freeze next Monday and Tuesday nights.  Glad I didn’t move the chickens out when I wanted to.  Chicks don’t handle freezing temperatures very well.  Maybe next week’s freeze will be the last of winter.

The back pasture has seven black calves on it.  The owner of the pasture uses the calves for roping practice.  It is nice to see cattle back on the pasture.  There will be more coming later this spring.  I’m a bit surprised he put them out before he burns but it must have worked out that way for some reason.

Still sitting in a good place mentally and emotionally.  The trauma of the past seems to be falling away and my central nervous system seems to be calming down.  It does get triggered quickly and takes longer than I want it to for it to calm down again but progress is happening.  What a journey the last year has been for me.  So grateful to be on this side of it now.

Grateful for a haircut today, grateful for the sunshine this afternoon, and grateful for the progress on my healing journey.

Had a beautiful drive through the hills to go to Council Grove this morning.  I met a dear friend for lunch at Hays House.  I had grilled chicken with sautéed mushrooms and grilled zucchini that had a garlic/butter sauce.  It was delicious.  Service was great too.  Nice job Hays House!

My friend and I had a wonderful, deep conversation.  I love friends that you can go deep with and share your vulnerabilities with.

Stopped by Grove Gardens and got a flat of strawberries.  They are succulent and juicy.  I love strawberries that taste like strawberries and sometimes they are hard to find.  I will need to share some though as a flat is more than I can eat.

Came home and found out Kathy had cleaned out the big chicken coop today.  Bless her heart!  Now it is ready for the chicks to move into when they are big enough.

I cleaned out one pen of the chicks this morning.  One pen keeps bumping their water container over and the wood shavings get wet and then start smelling.  I need to clean the other pen out tomorrow.  The little buggers are getting harder to catch as they grow up.  Two or three weeks to go before I can move them outside.

Have a bit of an upset tummy this afternoon.  I keep wanting to eat something to get rid of the garlic taste but not sure what will do the trick.  My tummy is saying not so fast on the eating.  I’m sure it will settle down soon.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia in the morning and get my hair cut.  I also need to stop and pick up a prescription while I am in town.  I don’t think I need any groceries so will make a quick trip of it.

Friday Kathy and I are meeting Nicole for lunch then are going to Warby Parker for eye exams and to order new glasses.  We both needed an eye exam so will get that taken care of.  I have two things to take to Nicole so it will give me a chance to get that taken care of.  I’ll stop at Costco and pick up a few things since I am in the big city.  I don’t have a very long list this time but always seem to find things I need that are not on my list when I go to Costco.  If I thought the weather was going to turn and be nice I would pick up deck paint but the forecast doesn’t look promising enough for that yet.

It has been an absolutely beautiful spring-like day on the prairie.  The wind wasn’t even a factor today which is a rare.  The temperature reached the mid 70’s.  Sure wish it would stay this way for several days but the forecast for tomorrow is highs in the mid 50’s.  Dang I am ready for spring to get here and stay.

Still sitting in a good place this afternoon.  I am tired as I didn’t sleep very well last night but have been able to maintain at or slightly above the mid-point on the consciousness ladder.  I’m always grateful when I get out and about and am able to maintain that level.  Somedays I can and somedays I can’t.

Did some knitting on a blanket last night while I was watching the last session of Madam Secretary.  Have lots more to knit before it is done but feels good to be knitting a bit.  I need to get some yarn used up or else I need to give it away.

Grateful for friends that share their life’s journey with me, grateful the chicken coop is cleaned out, and grateful for this taste of spring day.

We had a beautiful Spring Equinox Ceremony last night.  Six of us gathered and welcomed spring to the prairie.  We each planted our intentions for the coming months.  It is so delightful to have a group of friends where one can be vulnerable and sit with them as each share.  I’m so blessed to have each of them in my life.

I haven’t done much today.  I got to stay home all day today.  I have something on my calendar for the next four days and needed a day at home to prepare myself for the busy days ahead.  I usually don’t leave the house that many days in a row.  I may be wiped out by Saturday afternoon.

I was surprised that I wasn’t wiped out this morning.  Usually being around a group drains me but that didn’t happen this time.  Probably because we took some time at the beginning of the ceremony to ground ourselves and set the intention that we would remain grounded throughout.  I need to remember to that more often.

I think my central nervous system is finally calming down.  I was stuck in Fight or Flight for so long that it was working overtime to keep me safe.  I realized last night that I finally felt like “me” again for the first time in a long, long time.

The chicks are doing well.  I have tended to them a couple times today and nothing was amiss.  They seem to like having the extra space and are behaving themselves.  The littlest ones are three weeks old today.  Three more weeks before I can move them outside.

It is nice to go into the furnace room and not have water on the floor.  Grateful the booster pump got replaced and the source of the water leak fixed.

I still need to get down and clean out the chicken coop.  It was too cold to do so again today.  We only reached the mid 40’s today.  It is to be 75 tomorrow but I will believe it when I see it.  I am meeting someone for lunch tomorrow but maybe when I get home it will be warm and I can get the coop cleaned out.

I am meeting a friend in Council Grove tomorrow.  I happened to notice the Grove Gardens has fresh strawberries for sale.  I may stop and get a case and make some jam, etc.  If nothing else, I will freeze them.  I love strawberries and like to keep them on hand.  I won’t eat the jam but betting I can find someone that would like it.  Sounds like it will be a beautiful day to go for a drive to Council Grove.

Sitting in a peaceful place this afternoon.  I had a rough part of the day yesterday but I am pleased with how quickly I recovered.  It still feels like my soul box is filled with cotton puffs and not something more solid.  I deplete quickly at times.  It does feel today like something shifted in me last night and the cotton puffs feel a bit more solid today.  I’ll see how I do this week with four days of events to attend.

I’m so grateful I have lots of empty space to process my feelings and allow myself this time to heal.  I am starting to feel a bit restless and like I need to find a project to do.  Maybe when I come back from Vegas in two weeks I will be ready to tackle something more.  I need to get back to my death doula work and contact some people and tie up some loose ends from that.  Before that felt too big to take on but it feels possible today.

I do have the deck painting project in front of me this spring when it finally warms up and stays warm.  That will keep me busy for several weeks.  I plan on organizing a painting party one weekend and will get some help to do part of it.  It shouldn’t be too much longer before I can start painting.

Grateful for my tribe, grateful for my healing journey progress, and grateful for a quiet day on the prairie.

 

Happy Spring Equinox!  One of two days of the year where there is an equal amount of light and darkness.  It is a time to plant your intentions for the upcoming year.  What is it within you that you want more of?  What gifts do you have that you share with the world?

I texted the plumber this morning to inform him that I needed a new hand sink kitchen faucet when they come out to replace the booster pump.  I again asked him if they had found a booster pump.

He let me know they would find a faucet but didn’t know anything about the booster pump yet.  30 minutes later he texted they were on their way out with both!  Yay!

They showed up and looked at the booster pump.  The sales rep they dealt with told them some new instructions for installation of it and they had to go back to town to get parts.

They came back and got the new booster pump hooked up and running.  They then came upstairs and replaced the faucet.  Good thing they came when they did as they discovered the faucet was starting to leak under the sink.

I am grateful that both of those projects got crossed off my pending list.  Not sure I want to see the bill when it comes in a few days but I will deal with that when it comes.

Now I can clean up the floor in the furnace room and it will stay dry.  I have been tracking chicken wood carvings all over the house as the floor has been wet and icky.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to get a nut to fix the chick feeder.  I had trouble finding a helper at Bluestem.  Finally did but found out Bluestem didn’t carry the size of nut I needed.  They had one size too small and one size too big.  Ended up having to buy a whole new feeder.  That was an expensive nut!

Went to Walmart to get some flowers for tonight’s Spring Equinox celebration. They were out of fresh flowers and didn’t have any good looking small plants.  Got one thing and then left.

I went to Water’s Hardware and found what I needed.  I came home cranky.  May take a short nap so I will be ready for tonight’s ceremony.

I definitely did not hold my consciousness level above the mid-point in town today.  I got frustrated trying to find someone to help me at Bluestem.  Then frustrated again when Walmart was out of fresh flowers.   I hate driving to town in vain.

After I get done blogging I need to go down and clean the furnace room floor.  It will be a pain to do so as that room is crowded with the two chick pens and not much room to move in.  There are two extension cords in the way and lots of spilled wood carvings and feed on the floor.  Yuck!

The wind is in a big hurry today.  The highest wind gust on the prairie so far has been 44.8 MPH but it sounds and feels like it is higher than that.  It doesn’t seem to slow down much at all.  This is one of those days where the sound of the wind could drive me over the edge of the cliff.

Just wrote a whole paragraph that disappeared on my iPad.  I hit some key somewhere on my keyboard and it causes that to happen.  Wish I knew what I was hitting so it wouldn’t hit it again.

Trying to figure out why I feel so out of balance this afternoon.  Have a feeling the birthday party yesterday drained me and I went to town too empty.  Next time I go to town I need to remember to check my energy level and see if my tank is full or not.

I’m grateful our Spring Equinox celebration is tonight as that will help me restore my balance and grounding.  I don’t think I have to leave the house tomorrow so that will be a good day to build my reserves back up.  I have somewhere to be Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Yikes!  I’m not usually that busy.  Next week will be a quieter week thank heavens.

Grateful the booster pump and kitchen faucet have been replaced, grateful the Spring Equinox celebration is tonight, and grateful I found some flowers at the Hardware store.

What a fun afternoon we had.  Three friends came over to help me celebrate Kathy’s birthday.  Wine, cheese, grapes and birthday cake were enjoyed.  Conversation was fun and lively.  It was good to gather and celebrate Kathy’s birthday and her return to KS.

The chicks have been well behaved today.  They seem to enjoy having more space.  They still dump over their water and feed containers but no one has escaped today.  It is a bit tricky to get to both pens as the space is limited.  My water booster pump is leaking so there is water on the floor, extension cords to the heat lamps to step over, and spilled feed and wood carvings on the floor. So far I have managed to get to them without slipping or breaking something.

I cleaned house this morning.  It is so nice to have the chicks downstairs and out of the dining room.  It is nice to have a clean upstairs this evening.  I feel better when my house is clean.

Today would have been Jim and my 3rd wedding anniversary so it is a bit of a bittersweet day.  Hard to imagine three years ago turned into this.  If I had only known then what I know now.  Better late than never I guess.  Grateful I am on my path to healing and recovery and the past is becoming a more distant memory.

Tomorrow morning I need to text my plumber and let him know to bring a new kitchen sink faucet with him when he comes out to replace the booster pump.  The faucet at the hand sink has something broken in it and it can be tricky to turn off.  Dang!  There seems to always be something breaking around here.

Tomorrow night some friends are coming over so we can celebrate the Spring Equinox together.  I love our ceremonies and have found them to be very helpful and enlightening over the years.  They seem to grow in power the more we do them.  I’m glad I got my cleaning done today so I can enjoy tomorrow.

I need to go to town tomorrow and get a different feeder for one of the chicken pens.  The tiny nut that holds the top of the feeder on the base has disappeared and the chickens keep wasting more food than they eat.  I wish I could find a better watering container that didn’t tip over so easy but due to space limitations I don’t think there is one.  I will check again to make sure I didn’t miss seeing one last time I looked.  I will pick up another bag of chick feed while I am at the store.  The chicks are going through a bag a week right now.

It has been another day full of sunshine on the prairie.  It only reached to low 40’s so was a chilly day.  It is to warm up the rest of the week with a chance of rain several days.  We are in a fire watch for the next couple of days due to the dry conditions and high winds.  We need rain badly or fire season will be a dangerous one this year.

I need to remember to call and schedule a haircut before I go to Vegas.  I get my hair cut about every two months and it is almost time for a haircut.  Maybe my hair dresser can work me in tomorrow or Tuesday and I can get a haircut when I go get chick feed and save a trip to town.

I used my new feeling cards to see if I could find words to describe where I am this afternoon.  The words that I pulled out were relaxed, peaceful, content and calm.  I was surprised but grateful that on this bittersweet day that is where I am at.  I can look back at our wedding day with almost an observer perspective and distant myself from the emotions of it.  I am starting to remember more and more of things that happened that should have served as red flags to me but I chose at the time to ignore them.

The boundaried class I took yesterday helped me understand the toll it took on my body and reminded me of how my body can and should feel.  Grateful to be on this side of things and on my path of recovery and healing.

Grateful for Kathy, grateful to our friends that came over today to help us celebrate, and grateful to be where I am today mentally and spiritually.

This has been a day that the chicks took up a lot of my time.  This morning I noticed one of the chicks had blood in her tail area.  The other chicks were picking at it.  I washed the blood off of her and tried to put her back in the nursery.  The other chicks immediately came after her again and made her bleed again.

I got the cat carrier and put the wounded chick in it and set the carrier by the fireplace.  I left her in there the rest of the day.

Kathy and I went to Emporia to eat at Union Social for dinner.  When we came home I checked the nursery.  All seemed well but I kept hearing a peep that seemed out of place.  Looked at the floor and there were chicken droppings in several places.  One of the chicks had flown the coop and was on the floor.  Kathy came up and helped me corner the little darling and we returned her to the nursery.

I put the wounded chick back in the nursery and so far all is well.  Her tail area didn’t show any visible sign of blood and they seem to be leaving her alone.

Kathy helped me move the big dog crate into the furnace room.  I put stuff up against the edges of it and turned it into a chick nursery. If my little escape artists do their thing, I may have to wrap it in chicken wire.  We moved the table from the dining room downstairs too and now have two nurseries.  They were getting too big to all be in the same nursery.

We will see how they get along in the two pens.  I could not handle the mess and smell having them upstairs for another day.  My floors are dusty and dirty upstairs and the smell was giving me a headache.  I did some more reading about moving them outside and realized it is going to be two more weeks before I can safely move them outside.  I would have moved out of my own house before then if I had to keep them upstairs for two more weeks.

I swear this group of chicks is giving me a run for my money.  The last group of chicks I got in August so could start them outside as it was warm out.  It has been five years since I have had chicks in the house and I forgot what a mess they make.  I may never do it again this time of year.  It is much easier starting them in the chicken coop.

This afternoon Kathy and I watched a zoom meeting from the lady that teaches boundaries.  She is an excellent teacher and we both got a lot out of the class.  She had us write out what we experience in various parts of our bodies when we don’t remember who we are.  She then has us write out what we experience when we come home to ourselves and remember who we are.

I am still considering taking her eight week class on boundaries but need to figure out when the timing is right for me.  It will have to be after my Vegas trip and before my England trip.  I’m not sure what her schedule is so will explore that.  This teacher takes a bit different approach on boundaries and I resonated with what she had to say today.  Her class is a bit pricey but may be worth it.  I’ll see where I am in my healing journey in another month or so and decide what I want to do.

Dinner at Union Social was outstanding.  I never stop being amazed at how Amanda provides such excellent service and food, each and every time.  Every restaurant can have an off day but somehow Amanda never seems to let that happen.

Trusting tomorrow will be a calmer chick day around here.  At least it will be easier for me to ignore them now that they are downstairs.

After I get done blogging I need to clean my floors upstairs.  I need to get rid of the chick smell – it is gross.  I can’t believe how much dust and dirt the chicks caused.

Taking the class today stirred up some emotions for me but I was grateful to see how far I have come these last five months.

Grateful for teachers that appear when the student is ready, grateful the chicks are downstairs, and grateful for outstanding restaurants like Union Social.

And a Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all.  May the luck of the Irish be with each of us.

I went to Emporia this afternoon to pick up some groceries and other things on my list.  It was a quick trip to town and back home.  I didn’t have any other errands to run.  I managed to get to Walmart today and get everything on my list.

When I walked in my house when I got home I noticed an icky smell.  The chicks had dumped their water four times on the new wood shavings I gave them yesterday and their pen smelled to high heaven already.

Kathy helped me catch the little buggers and put them in a box and then she held the trash bag open while I used the dust pan to scoop up the wet shavings.  Put fresh shavings down and put the chicks back in the nursery.

I put some rocks I had in the water bottles to give them a bit more weight hoping they won’t tip them over so fast this time.  So far, so good.  They keep scratching up the wood chips though and it covers the watering lid.  I dump them out about every hour.  Wish there was an easier way to keep the chicks in fresh water.  When I put them outside next week I can put a big watering can in the big house and it will stay cleaner.

I looked up when I can moved the chicks outside and most articles I read said the earliest is four weeks.  Yikes!  The bigger 10 will be four weeks on Thursday.  We will see if I can wait another full week or not.  I can put two heat lamps in the big pen and I think they should be OK.  I would hate to lose them though after all the work I have put into them so far.  Maybe I will move out for a week and let them have the house!  I might have to move the chicks to the furnace room downstairs if I decide not to move them to the big house Tuesday.  They are getting on my last nerve and I want to reclaim my dining room and living room.

The doctor’s nurse called me this morning to let me know the blood test results were all normal and the EKG was normal.  She said not to worry about my low heart rate unless I become symptomatic.  Ummmm…..  OK I guess.  The doctor had added a thyroid test to the panel he had run yesterday.  My TSH is down to 3.58 which is better than it has been for a bit.  Still a touch too high but coming down.  My magnesium level was in the middle of the range which is good.

Wondering if it is the sleeping aid I take that is causing my problems.  I looked up the side effects of it and they mentioned it can cause a rapid heart rate but no mention of it causing a slow one.  Maybe I will quit wearing my smart watch at night and not worry about it.

It was Kathy’s turn to fix dinner tonight and she fixed chicken stir fry.  She was kind enough to let me get my portion before she added the Teriyaki sauce and rice to hers.  It is such a treat to have someone else fix dinner.

Tomorrow night is my night to cook.  I made reservations at Union Social for both of us.  Kathy’s birthday is Sunday and that will be my present to her.  I love Union Social and have been looking for an excuse to go eat there again.

I ordered two sets of cards that have different feelings on one set and different needs on the other.  One thing I am struggling with lately is naming my feelings and needs.  Once I can name them, I can release whatever energy comes up around them.  I needed to expand my choices a bit and trust that these cards will give me more food for thought.

I went so long without having my needs met and having my feelings shamed that I stopped naming them.  I got out of the habit of naming them and trust that the cards will help remind me of what I am feeling/needing.

Tomorrow afternoon I am watching a free Zoom lesson on co-dependency vs inter-dependent.  It is being put on by the lady that had the Facebook video on boundaries that I found so helpful back in October.  She offers an eight week course on boundaries that I may take.  It is a bit pricy so have resisted signing up but if tomorrow is helpful I may bite the bullet and take her class.

Grateful the chicks pen is smell free for the moment, grateful my Walmart trip is done for the week, and grateful the blood work was all normal.

This has been an eventful day on the prairie.  I changed out the girls linens this morning.  I made a mess as the nursery pen let the wood shavings fall on the floor.  I got that all cleaned up and put the girls back in the nursery with fresh wood shavings.

I heard a ruckus for a bit and finally yelled at them to be quiet.  As if that would do any good but to my surprise they immediately quieted down.  Complete radio silence followed.  That is weird so after about ten minutes I got up to see why.  I was afraid I had given them a heart attack for yelling at them.

The corner of the nursery pen had slipped over the edge of the table the nursery is on and about 10 of the chicks had fallen overboard.  As I walked up to them they scattered and went every which way.

I shored up the nursery pen using free weights and then using my dining room chairs made a pen on the floor to corner the little bastards, I mean darlings!  I got them back into their nursery and then had to clean the floor up again.  Before I got the floor cleaned up they tipped over one of the watering containers and it dripped water on the floor.

I almost went down and cleaned out the chicken coop and moved them outside today.  The temperature has dropped 30 degrees this afternoon and the wind is howling.  Not a good day to move them to the big house but oh was I tempted.

They have since settled down and things are back to normal although I am still a bit pissed at them.  Looking at the forecast it looks like it will stay above freezing after Tuesday next week and I can get them moved outside then.  Trusting they won’t change the forecast and that gets delayed.  The chicks and I are barely on speaking terms and if this get drags out too much longer we won’t be.

I met a friend in Cottonwood Falls for lunch today.  Always a treat to spend time with a friend.

I sent a note to my doctor informing him of my low pulse readings at night.  He wanted me to come in this afternoon for some blood tests and a EKG.  While I was in town I stopped and got a few things from two different stores and then did the doctor thing. I was going to stop at Walmart but decided to come home instead.  It was cold and windy out and I didn’t want to make another stop.

I got a phone call from someone saying they were from Evergy and they had taken over my electric service and were going to disconnect me in one hour unless I gave them my credit card info over the phone.  I hung up on them and called my electric company just to make sure it was a fraud.  It was.  Dang those people anyways.  They need to get a real job!

Don’t have any plans for the next couple of days.  The weather is crappy this afternoon and we have a chance for some ice or snow.  Winter go away!  I’m tired of you and your bi-polar moods.  Come on spring!

Monday evening I will celebrate Spring Equinox with some of my friends.  It is always a good time and a grounding experience for me.  Following the cycle of Nature has taught me a lot over the years.  If one can slow down and appreciate the lessons from Mother Nature, life can be richer and easier.

In three weeks Michelle, Nicole and I are going to Vegas for three nights.  I’m looking forward to the trip and excited to be spending some time with my daughters.  I haven’t flown since Covid started so that will be a different experience for me.  I’ve heard the airlines have changed lots of things so will see what that is all about.  We fly out of the new terminal in KC.  Anxious to see what it is like now.

I was able to stay above mid-line of consciousness while in town today.  That is good.  I knew if I went to Walmart though I would not be able to maintain it.  Still I was out and about for over three hours and was able to maintain for that time.  Progress!

Grateful the chicks are back in their pen, grateful for lunch with a friend, and grateful I can stay home for the next two or three days.

Another night of being up for two to three hours in the middle of the night.  What is up with that?  Luckily I was able to get a long second sleep.  Feeling tired today though.  Wonder if it is the effect of the time change.  I don’t do time changes well.

I have taken a rest day today.  Just don’t have any motivation to find something to do.  I have taken care of the chicks and fed myself.  Not sure I have accomplished anything else today.  Somedays are like that.

It reached the low 60’s today but the wind has been gusting between 25 – 37 MPH all day.  I was going to clean out the chicken coop today but the wind makes that job difficult.  Decided to wait until I get a better day.  I will have to tolerate the dirty, messy chicks for another couple of days inside.  I need to give them fresh linens tonight or tomorrow since they will be inside for another couple of days.  Last week when I did that job, Piper was here to help me.  Piper please come back and visit.  I need your help!

Today is Roxy’s birthday.  She turned seven years old today.  A Great Pyrenees/Saint Bernard life span is 10 – 12 years so she is middle aged now.  Couldn’t tell it by the way she gets excited when guests arrive.  She has been a faithful dog and is very gentle, yet can be protective of me when she doesn’t like the looks of someone new.

I’m meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow and then am going to run some errands while I am out and about.  I need a few groceries and a couple other things from town.  It will be good to get out for a bit.  It is to rain tomorrow but it looks like it will be warm enough that we won’t get ice or snow.

I made an appointment for a week from Friday for an eye exam.  Kathy is going to get one too so we will both go to KC for the day.  We will have lunch with Nicole and then I want to make a Costco run before our eye appointments.  I have something I need to get to Nicole before our Vegas trip so will get that taken care of that day.  It will be a three-for-one type of trip.

I checked with my plumber and he hasn’t heard anything about the water booster pump yet.  I’m tired of mopping up water in the furnace room so hope the new one gets in soon.  I have the floor fan running to help dry the floor up a bit.  I go down twice a day and sweep the standing water into the floor drain.  I’m grateful it isn’t going out in to the hallway too much.  I need to get it replaced before water starts to spread out in the hallway and I can’t keep up with it.

My tummy is a bit upset today.  I usually eat chicken and occasionally I eat beef.  I had a hamburger for lunch yesterday, pot roast for dinner last night and then pot roast for lunch today.  I think I have eaten too much beef in a row.  I may skip dinner tonight and see if it will settle down and then go back to chicken for a few meals to see if that helps.  The pot roast was really good but eating it twice in a row is too much and not good for me.

This wind is blowing in the dust.  I did all the floors last week and they need done again.  We have a wind advisory for most of the rest of the week so may wait until the wind slows down before I clean them.  No use cleaning them only to have them need it again the next day.  The chicks add to the dust and dirt in the house too.  I am eagerly anticipating getting to move them outside very soon.

Found out a friend has Covid.  They were on a trip and just got back and discovered Covid hitched a ride and came home with her.  She has gone all this time without getting it.  Thankfully she is up to date on her vaccinations and should be OK.  She got the antibodies and was feeling better today.  I worry more about someone getting long Covid.  From those I know that have it, it is a beast to deal with.

I worry about getting Covid on my trip to Europe in September.  Sure hoping Covid has slowed down by then and I won’t get it.  Have a feeling it would ruin a trip if I pick it up along the way.

Feeling a bit blah today.  I’m still at base line of consciousness so haven’t fallen down the ladder but I don’t think it would take much to do so.  Trusting by tomorrow I will find some motivation to do something and get some things done.  Somedays it is best to do nothing and rest.  Grateful I have the space and time to do that when needed.

Grateful for Roxy and the love she brings to my life, grateful for sleep, however it comes, and grateful for rest days full of empty space.

John Deere called this morning and said they were on their way to pick up my mower to take it in for its annual check-up.  They didn’t show up for over an hour.  Hope they didn’t get lost and charge by the mile.  They will do the service on the mower and then bring it back to me within a week.

At noon time I went to the McDonald’s on the Turnpike for lunch.  Today is the last day there will be a McDonald’s at the Emporia Rest Area.  It will become a Subway and Taco John.  I told the lady that waited on me I used to own this store.  She was very friendly and we chatted for a bit.  She remembered Craig as he used to go to the Industrial store for food after we sold the stores.

As I was eating a customer came up to me.  He had overheard my conversation with the lady and asked me if he could sit with me for a minute.  He had been stopping at this store since he was 7 years old in 1988 when the store first opened.  He lives in OK and his grandparents live in Topeka.  He was sad the store was changing to something else.  He told me the store ran better back in the day.

I realized when I came home from my short visit to the Turnpike McDonald’s that I wasn’t drained.  I didn’t stay there very long and didn’t see anyone I knew but I did visit with two different people for a short bit.  I will take this as a sign of my healing progress.  I was able to hold my consciousness level about the mid-point and not let it drop while out in public.  This is the first time that has happened in a long time.

My handyman came out this afternoon and confirmed for me the water leak in the furnace room is from the water booster pump and not something else.  I had already called my plumber to let him know but I was concerned there was something else going on due to the way the water was collecting on the floor.  I need to call the plumber back and find out when he is coming to fix or replace it.  Feels good that I had diagnosed the problem correctly.

My handyman is going to come back another day and removed the broken water softener, an old water filtering system, and some pipes that are hanging above the two things.  That will give me more storage space and clean up that room.

I have a pot roast cooking in the crock pot for dinner tonight.  We will eat early as the smell is enticing me to eat.  Yummy!  Kathy said she likes pot roast too.  Dinner will be ready whenever we are ready to eat.  I added some carrots to it earlier so won’t even have to fix anything else to go with it.  Easy!

The sun has been shining today but it is cold.  We had a 37 MPH wind gust today and the wind chill has stayed in the mid 30’s.  I appreciate the bright sunshine but sure wish it would warm up.

Chase County has a burn ban through Sunday as the forecast is calling for high winds the next couple of days.  This is the time of year that it is easy for a fire to get out of control.  We are very dry and the fire danger is high right now.  I worry about someone throwing a cigarette out a car or truck window on the highway and having it start a fire.  It wouldn’t take the fire long to reach my house if that happens.

I have been wearing a pair of leggings all day.  When I go to Vegas in April I am limited to how much luggage I can take as I am flying Spirit Airlines and don’t want to pay $69 each way to check a bag.  I bought some leggings to take with me as they take up way less space in a suitcase than jeans do.  I have never worn any before.  They are going to take some getting used to.  They are comfortable but not sure if I am too old to be seen in public in them.

Since I got out of the house today I don’t need to go to town tomorrow.  I really didn’t need groceries although I could have picked some up if I needed that as an excuse to go to town.  I may call some friends and see if anyone wants to have lunch Thursday or Friday.  That would be a fun thing to do and would get me out of the house for an hour or two.

I have had three nights in a row now that I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep.  I get up for two or three hours and then go back to bed to get a second sleep.  I am still taking the sleep aid so not sure why this is happening.  Maybe the effects of the sleep aid are diminishing.  Dang it anyways.  I was just getting used to sleeping more than three hours a night.  Hoping whatever is causing this will stop and I will go back to sleeping all night and getting six to eight hours of sleep a night.

The chicks are still inside.  The forecast is not looking good for them to get moved outside this week.  I’m tired of the dust and dirt they cause.  They are starting to get a bit crowded in their chicken nursery but guess they are just going to have to deal for a bit longer.  One of these days I will get to reclaim my dining room and get it cleaned.  Another lesson in patience for me.

Grateful the mower got picked up for its annual service today, grateful I was correct about the booster pump and nothing else is broken, and grateful I was able to hold my consciousness level above mid-point in public today.

What a fun day I had.  Jason brought Cody out around 8:30 this morning.  Cody was so good and had lots of fun playing Legos, Lincoln Logs, holding baby chicks, and watching movies.  He was not demanding or moody all day.

He watched me knitting and said “You have to be really really old to knit”.  Ouch!  I asked him if I was really really old and he said no, only really old.  Guess I have a ways to go before I am really really old!  LOL!

Jason came to pick Cody up around 3:30.  Cody wasn’t sure he was ready to go home but went without a fuss when it was time.  We both had a fun day.  I will call that a successful day for this Grandma.

John Deere called and let me know they will be out tomorrow late morning to pick my riding mower up and take it in for its annual service.  Grateful that is going to get done before the grass grows and needs cut for the first time.  I’m grateful I discovered they offer a pickup and return service for a nominal amount.  I have a trailer but no way to pull it.

I have had water on my furnace room for several weeks.  I cannot figure out where it is coming from.  I think from the water booster pump but there is water in places that I don’t think should be coming from the booster pump.  My handyman is coming over tomorrow afternoon to diagnose what is going on.  I am not sure if I need a plumber, a drain person or if the water is coming from the furnace.  I’m sure Phil will sort it all out for me tomorrow.

It will be good to cross those two things off my pending list.  I called John Deere sometime in early February to get on their list for the mower tune up.  The water leak has been there for several weeks and I just thought to call Phil to have him help me figure out what is wrong.

Kathy fixed dinner tonight.  I am sure enjoying her cooking every other day.  Tomorrow I am going to fix a pot roast in the crock pot as it will be my turn to cook tomorrow.  That will be an easy dinner for me to fix.  Grateful she is here so I can fix a meal like that.  It was too much food for just me and I would tire of the leftovers long before they were gone.  With two people eating them it will disappear quickly.

I am tired tonight.  I slept last night but kept waking up off and on all night.  I didn’t feel well rested when I got up this morning.  Thinking it will be an early to bed type of night for me.  Might be the effects of day light savings time.  I sure wished we didn’t mess with Mother Nature’s timing.  It doesn’t work well with my system and takes me a bit to adjust.

Still eating on plan.  My swollen belly is reducing daily since I have been avoiding flour and grain products.  Trusting I will stay on plan for a long time this time.  I need to take off the 20 pounds I have gained these last six months. Need to get back down and stay there!  I feel so much better when I am at the lower end of my range then I do at the higher end where I am now.

Kathy joined a gym in Emporia today.  I really need to go with her and start working out.  Not sure why I resist that so much.  I would feel even better if I could manage to go with her.  Maybe the urge will catch up with me and I will do what I know I need to do.  Having someone to go with would make it easier.

I started knitting a blanket today.  I went down to my yarn stash and found some colors that I think will work for a new to me pattern I found.  I had to cast on 190 stitches on size 8 needles so this project will take me a long time to finish as I want the blanket to be at least 6 – 7 feet long.  Shawls go so much faster but I don’t know what to do with them when I am done.  I usually can find a home for a blanket.

Wednesday or Thursday I need to find a reason to make myself get out of the house.  I went to town Saturday but haven’t left home since.  I can go days without leaving the property and am not sure that is healthy for me in some ways.  I will go pick up a few groceries if nothing else comes up.  Don’t need much but I usually can think of a few things to get.

I need to go to KC next week to deliver something to Nicole.  I’ll probably do a Costco run while I am there.  I may schedule an eye exam for that day too.  It has been over two years since I had my eyes checked last and am past due for an exam.  I go to an eye doctor on the Plaza.  A day in KC sounds like fun and it will get me out of the house one day next week.

A friend requested that I let her and two of her friends come stay for a weekend in June.  She requested I provide breakfast for the three of them.  I quoted her a price and she agreed to it.  Looks like I will have guests for two weekends in June.  The first weekend is the Gravel Bike Race and I have three guests coming to stay for that.  I can use the extra money to put towards my trip to Europe in September.

Still sitting in good head space.  It is easier to maintain that when I stay home.  My challenge is staying in a good head space when I am around people.  I still get drained easily although not as fast as I did earlier this year.

Grateful the mower is going to be picked up tomorrow, grateful Phil is coming to diagnose my water leak, and grateful to have spent the day with Cody.

This has been a weird day for me.  I have trouble remembering it is Sunday.  Not sure what day I think it is but I am surprised every time I look at the date and realize it is Sunday.  At 11:30 this morning I was thinking it was time to fix dinner.  Crazy, mixed up type of day for me.

Maybe it is the effect of the daylight savings time change?  I don’t think I am senile or have dementia.  Just a mixed up type of day.  I’ve done this before and usually the next day is back to my normal level of craziness.

I haven’t done much today.  I did go down and dig out some yarn.  I am feeling the urge to knit again.  I have lots of yarn but not in the color combinations I am looking for.  I may try a blanket with what I have but I don’t love the color combination so not sure I can make myself do it.  We shall see what happens.

I went on line and looked at some new to me knitting patterns.  I like to make stripe blankets and to try new combinations of stripes.  It helps to have a pattern that lays it out for me.

The sun is shining on the prairie today.  Hallelujah!  Unfortunately with the sun came the wind.  It is 42 out but only feels like 32 due to the wind chill effect.  Dang it anyways.  At least the sun is shining.  It is to shine tomorrow too and then go back to cloud cover for the next seven to ten days.  Chance of snow by Friday.  Hopefully when it gets closer they will change the forecast and remove the snow.  Not looking good for me to move the chicks outside this week.

One of the chicks got on top of their pen.  Not sure how they found the hole between the shelves I put over the top of the pen.  I couldn’t catch her but I moved the shelves and she went back down into the pen.  By the end of the next week their pen will be too crowded for them as much as they are growing.  Hard to keep their feeders full.

Tomorrow I am babysitting my six year old grandson.  He will keep me busy and entertained all day.  I need to check my refrigerator and make sure I have some kid friendly food in the house.  One trick I learned a long time ago with grandkids is to keep them fed and not let them get hungry.

I don’t have anything else on my calendar for the week after Monday.  I need to find something to do.  I have been sitting way too much and need to get my body moving but don’t know what to do to make that happen.  Still sitting in the in-between stage of my life.  I’m sure the right thing will show up at the right time for me.

I want to get some buttons made up for a family thing that is being held in August.  I would like them to say Patton/Johnson 4th generation, Patton/Johnson 5th generation,  Patton/Johnson 6th generation, and yet others would say Patton/Johnson 7th generation.  Anyone know of someone that makes them?  I can find them on-line but you have to order a minimum of 50 each and I don’t need that many.

Still in a good head space, even if I am a bit mixed up today with time and date.  Feeling more optimistic about my future than I have for a long time.  I have been able to hold myself above the mid-line of consciousness lately most of the time.  I still drop below mid-line when I am out and around too many people but even that is lessening.  It is amazing what a bit of time can do for a healing journey.

Grateful for the sun shining on the prairie today, grateful I can hold myself about mid-line, and grateful for many generations of deep roots in Chase County.

 

It has been a quiet day on the prairie.  Another day where I didn’t do anything.  I did mange to get two loads of laundry washed, dried and put away.  Kathy fixed dinner so I didn’t have to do that.  I must say it is a treat to have someone cook every other day.  I think I can get used to that quickly.  It will be my turn to cook tomorrow night so will have to think of something to fix.

It has been another cloudy, cold day on the prairie.  We only reached the low to mid 40’s today.  I am looking forward to the sun coming back from vacation.  It has been gone a long time.  I’m starting to feel the effects of no sunshine.  I couldn’t live in places that go months without the sun shining.

No plans for tomorrow.  I thought about going in to Cottonwood Falls today to go to the craft fair but I am still struggling being around people.  I can handle a few at a time but a busy, loud building with lots of people felt overwhelming to me and I didn’t go in.  I have finally gotten my central nervous system calmed down and I don’t want to set it off unless something really important comes up and I need to be around lots of people.  The craft fair didn’t meet that standard.

The chicks are all still alive and growing.  The littlest ones now have noticeable wings.  Some of them are still on the small side though but a few of them are about as big as the 10 older chicks.  I have to fill up their feed container three times a day.  I dump wood shavings out of their water containers almost hourly.

I’m sorry that daylight savings time starts tonight.  I don’t like the change in time.  I’m grateful most of the clocks in the house will reset themselves.  I only have a couple that I manually have to change.  Maybe I can sleep in a bit later tomorrow morning since it will be dark later.  I woke up at 6:15 this morning and couldn’t go back to sleep.  Makes a long day when I get up that early.

We didn’t get much moisture today.  We had a very light rain fall a couple times but I don’t think we got a measurable amount.  We need rain badly.  Wish all these clouds would bring some to the prairie.  No use having clouds if they don’t produce rain.

I have gotten back on my eating plan.  Kathy eats the same plan so that makes it easier for me to stick to plan.  I am on day 3 of clean eating.  I can feel my body detoxing from the foods I had been eating that are not on my plan.  It will take me another week or so to get the icky stuff out of my body and then I will feel good again.  I really do feel better when I stay on plan.  Never quite sure why I get off track but it seems to happen before I realize it.  Here is to trusting that I can stay on track this time.

I feel more settled and grounded right now than I have for the last year.  It is good to discover who I am again and like what I am finding.  I can’t believe I allowed myself to get so pulled off my center.  Grateful I am finding my way back home to myself.  I still can get pulled off track quicker than I would like but am starting to notice and appreciate the progress I have been making.

Grateful for the healing that is happening within, grateful to be able to eat someone else’s cooking, and grateful to be back on my eating plan.

I went to Emporia this morning and got chicken feed and dog food.  I then went and picked up a few groceries for myself.  I spent more on the chicken and dog feed than I did on my groceries.  The dog food is now in a 42 pound bag instead of the 44 it used to come in.  The price went up $4 a bag and I got 2 less pounds.  Not sure that math works in my favor at all!

Haven’t done much else today except fix dinner.  I fixed green chicken for Kathy and myself.  It is easy and we both enjoyed it.  I usually forget to think ahead three hours to put it in the crock pot but I remembered today.  I was hungry this afternoon though as I smelled it cooking all afternoon.  I heated up some veggies to go with it and dinner was served.  It is nice to have someone to eat dinner with again.  Food seems to taste better when you share the dining experience.

One of the chicks was sitting on top of the chicken pen this afternoon.  I found some shelving things that I laid across the top of the pen to attempt to keep them in.  We may have jail break soon though.  I will move them to the big coop outside mid week next week.  Hope I can keep them contained until then.  It is to be 70 next Wednesday which will be a good day to get the coop cleaned out and get it ready for them.  They will still need the heat lamp for six more weeks so will need to figure out a way to do that.  I will need a barrier of some sort in the coop to limit how far they can roam for the first two weeks they are in the big coop.  I’ll have to put on my thinking cap and figure out something to use to  put up.   After that they can use the full coop with a heat lamp to warm up under when they choose to.

It will be a quiet weekend on the prairie for me.  Nothing on my calendar and no plans to go anywhere.  I don’t have anything on my to-do list either.  After the last two busy weekends it will be a treat to have a quiet one.  Two of the grandkids went to FL for spring break so they aren’t around for me to have fun with or bake cookies for.  One of the other grandkids is coming out Monday to play with me.  I’m looking forward to that.

I finally got some good sleep last night.  I hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep for several nights.  It was good to wake up this morning feeling rested.  My body seems to need extra rest right now.  I’m grateful I don’t have a lot of things pending and can honor what my body needs.  It feels so good to be in a good head space again.  I can feel that my central nervous system is finally calming down and allowing me to relax.  Ahhhhh……. I have missed this feeling.

Anyone else besides me missing the sunshine?  We seem to be having lots of cloudy days without the benefit of getting rain from the clouds.  Maybe KS moved to Oregon and forgot to tell us.  I don’t think I could live somewhere where it is cloudy most of the time.  I miss the sun!

I trust it will warm up soon and allow me to start painting my deck.  It needs to stay above freezing overnight for at least three days in a row before I can start painting.  It also needs to be over 50 for several hours during the day without a chance of rain for me to be able to paint.  Looking at the forecast it may be April before both conditions are met and I can go at it.  I want to get it all painted before the heat of the summer hits.  I hope we have a long spring this year and the heat waits until late May to show up.

It will soon be burning season in the Flint Hills.  We need some rain to make the burning less dangerous.  The ranchers will have to delay burning if we don’t get some spring rains soon.  That delays pasture season and ranchers  lose money.

Grateful I got good sleep last night, grateful the chicken feed supply has been replenished, and grateful for company at dinner time again.

It has been a lazy, recovery day for me on the prairie.  I didn’t do a darn thing today.  Kathy fixed dinner for both of us so I didn’t even do that.  It was just what this gal needed – a day of rest.  It was so nice to have someone else prepared a meal.  I can’t remember the last time that has happened for me.

The chicks are all doing well.  Some of the older ones like to hang out on top of the feeder and watering containers.  It won’t be long before they discover the top of the pen.  One more week and I will move them outside.  Hoping they don’t fly the coop before then and declare a jail break.

About 1:30 this morning I heard a howl I didn’t recognize and heard the chickens were all stirred up.  I went out to the living room to see what was going on.  Kathy’s cat had come upstairs and was down the hallway “talking” to my cats that were in the laundry room.  They were exchanging “words”.  I’m not sure it was love at first sound!  I made my cats go outside and things settled down.  I stayed up for a bit to make sure the chicks settled back down.  It was a bit of ruckus for the middle of the night.  I finally got back to sleep around 5:00 and managed to get another two hours of sleep before I was up for the day.

Kathy said she will keep her cat locked in her bedroom tonight so we don’t have Act II tonight.  We are going to have to figure out how to introduce the cats to each other during the daytime.  Kathy’s cat needs some time to adjust to living here first though.  My cats are limited to the laundry room when they come in the house and Kathy’s cat doesn’t go outside so maybe we don’t have to introduce them.

I need to go to Emporia tomorrow and get some chicken feed, dog food and groceries.  I realized today I haven’t been out of the house since last Saturday.  Probably time I get out.  I may go to the McDonald’s on the Turnpike while I am in town for one last visit.  We opened that store in September, 1988 and it is closing next week.  It will become a Subway and Taco John.  Lots of memories in that store for me.

I don’t have any plans for the weekend.  Monday I am babysitting for my grandson Cody.  He will keep me busy that day I’m sure.  The chicks will get lots of loving that day.

Still feeling grounded and in a good head space.  I realized today what I am feeling is safety.  This last year I realized I didn’t always feel safe and it has taken me several months to get my nervous system calmed down enough to feel safe again.  It is a nice feeling.

Grateful for a day of recovery and rest, grateful for the dinner Kathy fixed tonight, and grateful for a feeling of safety.

Joy and the twins headed for home today.  We had breakfast together and then Kathy drove them to the airport.  Piper really wanted to stay here – she has fallen in love with KS and the wide open quiet spaces.  The twins enjoyed a last breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes.  For one of them I added bananas and the other topped theirs with peanut butter.  Bacon and scrambled eggs rounded out their last breakfast.

After Kathy left for the airport I cleaned house and started laundry.  I managed to get the living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway, entry way and office floors cleaned.  I did five loads of laundry and did two more loads in the dishwasher.  If feels good to have a clean house this evening.  The guests rooms are made up and the house is back in order.

I took a short nap this afternoon in my chair.  I knew if I laid down on my bed I would sleep long and hard and didn’t want to do that.  I haven’t slept well the last couple of nights and am tired.  I trust tonight I will sleep long and hard as I don’t have to be up in the morning to fix breakfast.  Tomorrow will be a rest and recovery day for me.  I have nothing on my calendar or to-do list.

One day this week I will need to go make a feed run.  The chicks have almost gone through the 50 pound bag I got when I got the first 10 chicks.  I will need to get a couple more bags of feed and a few groceries later this week.  It can wait a couple more days though.

I have spent most of the last four months home alone.  Having company for two weekends in a row has been out of the ordinary for me.  I have loved every minute of the company but am grateful my calendar is free of company for the next couple of weeks.  It will give Kathy and I time to adjust to each other again.  She is easy to live with but it will be a change and sometimes change is jarring.

Jim has been gone for over four months now.  I must say I am finally adjusting to live alone again and finding it easier than it was when I lived with Jim.  There are things I miss about having a partner but there are things I am relishing not having a partner too.

I finally got the bill for the door lock that I had installed on my back door.  I had ordered it in November, it was installed in January and the bill arrived in March.  Glad to have that project finally completely crossed off my pending list.  I ordered a check for the bill to be paid today and crossed it off my list.

The chicks are all alive today.  Kathy was wondering if they missed all the loving the kids gave them while they were here.  I wondered if they have enjoyed being left alone today.  They have been quiet most of the day but have been eating lots.  I have to fill their feeders several times a day and clean the wood shavings out off their watering containers several times a day too.  One more week and they will get moved out to the chicken coop.

It has been cloudy and in the low to mid 40’s all day.  It has been a good day to stay inside and clean.  We have a good chance for some rain overnight and tomorrow morning.  Maybe it will be a good day to sleep in.

Things feel more settled inside me than they have for a long time.  I can’t say it feels like things are back to normal as I don’t know what normal is these days.  But I feel grounded in a way that I haven’t for a while.  Not sure if is because Kathy is here and I am not so alone or what is happening but I like whatever it is.  Life doesn’t feel so heavy and hard tonight.  That is a good place to be in.

Grateful Joy and the twins came for a visit, grateful my house is clean tonight, and grateful the heaviness inside has lifted.

 

What a fun evening.  My brothers Chad and Keith and his family  and two of my kids and families came for dinner tonight so they could welcome Kathy back to KS and see Joy and the twins.  We sat around and visited after dinner.  Too bad it is a school night and everyone had to get home to get kiddos to bed.

I fixed a meat loaf, green bean casserole, baked potatoes and baked sweet potatoes, roasted veggies and a salad.  I fixed two different desserts.  Dinner went off well and all were well fed.

I got rid of some of the leftovers from my week of cooking.  Jason and Michelle each took home some stuff that Kathy and I won’t eat.  Good to get the refrigerator cleaned out a bit.

Today Kathy and her family went to Emporia twice.  This morning they went to the zoo and then took a trip down memory lane and drove past our childhood home.  This afternoon they all went in and went bowling.

I think Joy and the twins are ready to go home tomorrow.  They have a noon flight so Kathy will drive them to KC in the morning.  The twins seem to have enjoyed their adventure.  They are excited about flying tomorrow as it will be their first flight.  I’m so grateful they came and spent some time at my house.

Tomorrow I will fix one more meal for them before they leave.  The kiddos want banana and chocolate chip pancakes with scrambled eggs.  They have to leave for the airport before 9:00 so we will be up early to eat and say our goodbyes.

After they leave I will spend some time doing some housecleaning.  I don’t have any other company coming for a bit so I will take my time and get to it when I can.  After Kathy gets home tomorrow she will start unpacking and getting settled in.  She hasn’t gotten to spend anytime doing that yet.  We will learn a new routine for both of us over the next few weeks and adjust to living together again.

It was so fun to have 15 people for dinner tonight.  I love when family comes for a meal.  The conversation was lively and entertaining for all.  The chicks have enjoyed all the extra loving they have received.  They are quiet tonight and seem to be settling in for the night a bit earlier than they have been.  I think I will be getting to bed soon too.  I am so used to being by myself that I am more tired than normal too.

The house will feel big and empty when they leave in the morning.  It may become a rest and recovery day for me and the housecleaning will wait for another day or two.

I won’t see Tagen and Ellexia for another week or so as they leave on vacation Friday.  They are heading to Florida and Kentucky for spring break.  I’m glad I get to stay home and enjoy the quiet on the prairie.

Grateful for family, grateful for the visit from Joy and the twins, and grateful all the chicks are still alive this evening.

What a fun day we have had.  We were up early this morning.  I fixed banana and chocolate chip pancakes, chocolate chip and peanut butter pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast.

The kids played outside most of the morning.  They helped me transfer all the chicks into one pen.  That went well.  All 28 of the chicks are playing nice with each other.  The dogs and cats are loving all the extra attention they have been getting.

I fixed macaroni and cheese with hot dogs for lunch.  Kathy and the others went to Cottonwood Falls in the afternoon and to the Prairie Preserve.  I took a short nap.

This evening I fixed hamburgers on the grill, potato salad, broccoli with cheese, deviled eggs and nachos for dinner.  I think I did six loads of dishes in the dishwasher today.  Not used to cooking for five for each meal.  It has been fun!

Tomorrow the kiddos requested French Toast for breakfast.  One likes it soggy and the other not so much.  I’ll see how it turns out!  Not sure what we are having for lunch.  Tomorrow night my two brothers, and Michelle and Jason’s families are all coming to join us for dinner.  I am fixing meat loaf and the fixings.  That will be fun too!

I’m tired tonight.  I didn’t sleep well last night so think I will take an early bath and go to bed before 8:00 tonight.  I need a good night’s sleep tonight.  The kiddos are tired tonight too so am betting everyone will be in bed sooner rather that later tonight.

Joy and the twins fly back to CT on Wednesday.  The house will sure feel quieter and empty when they leave.  It has been a delight to have them here.

I took the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter to the Cottonwood Falls Post Office this morning.  It took 45 minutes for the lady to process it.  I can’t say I was impressed with her.  She had made a mistake and couldn’t get the numbers to balance.  She then tried to blame it on me.  I don’t appreciate when people do that.  The good news is the Newsletter is on its way and that project is done.

I think the kiddos are going bowling tomorrow in Emporia.  It is to be cold and rainy tomorrow so they were thinking of things they could do indoors.  I will stay here and get things ready for dinner.  I think I am having 14 for dinner tomorrow night.  I forgot to serve the hot bread with the spaghetti last night.  Hope I remember to serve everything tomorrow night.

If I remember I have the things to make a batch of Chex Mix for the kiddos tomorrow.  My grandkids are coming out tomorrow night so I can send some home with them.  I’ll see if I remember to make it.

I felt a bit weird at times today.  My blood pressure dropped once or twice and I got light-headed.  It went away quickly.  I switched thyroid medications about a week or so ago and am thinking that was the cause.  I’ll have to get my levels checked at four weeks instead of six if this continues.  I had taken some Excedrin this morning and that might have caused it too.  We will see what happens tomorrow.

Mother Nature treated us to a beautiful sunset tonight.  The colors kept changing rapidly.  It was bright red at times.  I think the after glow of the sunset provided the most beautiful colors.  Unfortunately the clouds are rolling in and I’m not sure we will see many stars again tonight.

This morning we all got to watch the moon set.  Neither Joy nor the twins had ever seen one before so that was a special treat.  Piper is ready to move in with her grandma and stay here.  She is loving the prairie.

Tomorrow will be another fun day of cooking and it will be fun to see what we end up doing.  What an adventure the kiddos are having.  I trust they will always remember it and will look forward to coming back again sometime soon.

Grateful for the presence of Joy and her twins, grateful Kathy is back home, and grateful for the beauty of the prairie and the awe it provides.

I am patiently waiting for Kathy, her daughter Joy, and Joy’s twins to arrive.  They should be here between 6:00 and 7:00 this evening.  It sounds like they have had some fun adventures on their drive to KS from CT.  It will be glad to see them when they arrive safe and sound.

I got everything on my to-do list completed.  I went to Emporia and picked up a prescription and a few more groceries.  Did a couple loads of laundry and got some cleaning done.  I may take a short nap this afternoon.  I seem to be sleepy today for some reason.

Tomorrow I am taking the Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter to the post office in Cottonwood Falls.  Someone was going to drive all the way from Matfield Green today to pick them up and then drive again tomorrow to drop them off at the post office.  That didn’t make sense as I am only 10 minutes from the Cottonwood Falls Post Office.  I need to go to Cottonwood Falls tomorrow anyways to drop off the recycling.  I think it will all fit in my car.

The chicks are still all alive and growing fast.  Tomorrow I will combine them into one pen as the newest babies will be one week old tomorrow.  Trusting that will go well.

It has reached 70 degrees today and may go up another few degrees before the afternoon is over.  Too bad the wind is blowing hard.  It will be in the mid 50’s for Monday and Tuesday and then the 40’s for the rest of the week.  This is the time of year where you could change clothes three times a day to dress for the every changing KS weather.  We have a chance for some rain/snow mix on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I will be grateful for some moisture for the prairie.  It is very dry and fire conditions are high right now with the high wind.

It will be a change for me to have Kathy living here again.  It will be a change for her too as both of us are used to living alone.  Good thing we have done this before and know what to expect from each other.  It will be nice to have company and not go so many days without talking to someone besides myself.

Other than having Joy and her twins here this week I don’t have anything on my calendar this week.  Some family members are coming out for dinner Tuesday night so they can see Joy and the twins and welcome Kathy back to KS.  That will be fun!

There was an article in the newspaper today about a cruise ship that is going to offer a three-year trip around the world.  Man that sounds fun!  I looked at the details and thought about it.  I would almost be tempted to look further at it.  With my thyroid problems I’m not sure it would be wise for me to consider it but dang would I love to do that.  I do have an adventurous streak in me!

Feel like I have turned a corner in my healing somehow.  I am starting to recover a bit quicker when I get drained.  I am not getting as frustrated with the little annoying things that happen during the day.  And most importantly am finding myself above the neutral point on the consciousness chart most times.  It is good to be back again!  I know I have more healing to do but am pleased with my progress.

Grateful Kathy, Joy and the twins will be here soon, grateful for a completed to-do list, and grateful to have come back home to myself.

The Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter was done a little after 3:00 this afternoon.  I had three helpers.  My cousin came from Wamego this morning and then two friends joined us this afternoon.  It was fun to visit all morning with my cousin and then visit with her and my two friends this afternoon.  I so appreciate their help.  The day went by quickly and the work got done.

I took my cousin to the Grand for lunch today.  It was nice to get out of the house for a short bit and enjoy the beautiful weather we had today.  One friend was here when we came back from lunch.  She let herself in and had started to work on the Newsletter.  The other friend came shortly after lunch.

I had gotten one box done last night and got up this morning and got started a little after 6:30 and did a second box.  I was ever so grateful for some extra hands to get the last two boxes done.  It can feel a bit overwhelming in the middle of it but that feeling disappeared quickly when help showed up.

I haven’t gotten any housecleaning done yet but that is on my agenda yet for this evening or tomorrow.  I think Kathy and company will be here mid afternoon tomorrow but am not sure.  I still have plenty of time to get the house cleaned up a bit before they get here.

I am going to fix spaghetti and meat balls in the crock pot for dinner tomorrow night.  That way it will be ready whenever we decide to eat.  I got a spaghetti squash to bake as well as traditional spaghetti noodles.  I have some salad stuff and bread so it will be a quick dinner to fix and serve.

The chicks are all doing well today.  They are going through the sack of feed I got.  I’ll have to go to town the end of next week and get another big bag of feed.  It keeps me busy throughout the day keeping the two feed containers full and the water containers full.

I’m tired this evening.  I didn’t sleep really well last night and I was up by 6:30.  I was thinking about the Newsletter and wanting to get it done so I could have time to get my house clean.  Grateful everything worked out so I can do that.  I need to run to Emporia and pick up a few things I forgot at the grocery store and to pick up a prescription that is ready.  Think I will do that tomorrow sometime.  Not feeling like leaving the house this evening.

Today kinda reminds me of the barn raising days of the past.  When friends show up in your time of need and lend a hand, the work gets done quickly and you have fun doing it.  It would have been a long day without their help today.

Grateful for the help of my cousin and friends, grateful the newsletter is done, and grateful I have time to clean the house before my company arrives tomorrow.

This has been a weird day.  I went to bed at 6:30 last night.  Woke up at 3:00 and was up until 5:30.  Went back to bed for an hour and then got up.  Was up until 11:00 and then took a nap.  Finally felt rested.

I changed the bedding for both sets of chicks today.  Both sets had managed to spill their water and their pine shavings were wet.  The big pen only needed the wet removed and replaced but the little tub needed totally cleaned.  Nice to have clean pens tonight.

I struggle to keep the watering containers free from pine shavings.  I dump wet shavings out about every hour to make sure the chicks have fresh water at all times.  I’ll be glad when they grow up a bit and can use the bigger watering containers and I won’t have to worry about them all the time.

I’ll be glad when I can put the littlest ones in the bigger pen.  And then I will be even gladder when I can move them all out to the chicken coop outdoors.  The weather forecast for next week isn’t looking good though so thinking it will be more than a week before that can happen.  Maybe the winter system that is to come through will change its mind and go somewhere else.  Come on Spring and warmer temperatures.

I went to Emporia this afternoon and bought groceries for the week ahead.  I had a full cart today.  I’m not used to cooking for five people for several days.  I already know a few things I didn’t get so will have to make a return trip to town sometime soon.

The Pioneer Bluffs Newsletter got printed today so I picked that up and will start stuffing it this evening.  If anyone doesn’t have plans for tonight or tomorrow you are welcome to come over and help out.  Hoping to get it done by tomorrow afternoon.  Many hands help get the job done quickly.

The first box of envelopes that has to be kept in zip code order was all mixed up.  I got those sorted so it will be easy to stuff them.  Hoping the other three boxes are not messed up.  It would be easy to mess them up when they get printed.  Makes my job a bit tougher when they do that though.

I haven’t gotten my house cleaned for my company yet.  I want to get the Newsletter finished first and then if I have time I will clean.  Hoping to get a bit of cleaning done but we shall see what happens.  I’m very good at procrastinating on doing cleaning.  I will try to get to the things that are bothering me but we will see how this all unfolds.

The rumination that I had earlier this week has stopped, thank heavens.  Feeling more like myself again.  My sleep has been a bit unpredictable this week but am sure it will calm back down soon.  I am grateful I followed my therapist advice and got rid of trigger items in the house.  I do better when I don’t talk about what happened or see things that remind me of what happened.

It sure warmed up more today then I thought it would.  We missed the snow that was to have come overnight.  Got a bit of rain overnight but it has been clear and sunny today.  Reached the low 60’s on the prairie today.  It is supposed to reach the low 70’s on Sunday before winter comes back for a last blast during the week.

Grateful the groceries are mostly in the house for next week, grateful the chicks are thriving and growing, and grateful for what rain the prairie got overnight.