I went to Emporia mid morning to get my hair cut. I then went and had lunch. I was going to buy some groceries but felt drained and had to come home. I was able to maintain neutral all the time I was in town but knew if I stayed in town any longer I wouldn’t be able to hold it.
I haven’t had a lot of energy today. I didn’t get another room cleaned today because I knew if I pushed myself too far I would fall below neutral and have trouble climbing back up. I am slowing refilling myself today but not full yet.
I was surprised how fast I drained while I was in town. Grateful I recognized what was happening and came home when I did. I am finally learning how to practice self-care and take care of myself first.
We had quite a storm roll through this evening. There was a beautiful rainbow afterwards. It is the first one I have seen since I moved to this house.
Nothing on my calendar for the rest of the week. I will have to go back to town one day to get the things that I should have gotten today. I will have time to get my house cleaned this week.
Still haven’t heard if Max’s friend has received the death certificates or not. Guess it doesn’t matter as I can’t do anything with one until it has been 30 days since he died. I’m sure I will have them by then. I do need to remember to cancel his truck insurance – I keep forgetting to do that.
Trust that my energy level will rise again soon. I’m grateful I was able to take care of myself today and come home without doing everything I wanted to do. It has been a hard month on many levels and it is taking some time to level back out again.
Feels a bit strange to have so much empty space time in front of me. I am both grateful and terrified of it. I do better with some structure and routine and I feel like I don’t have that right now. I’m sure there is a bigger purpose in this free time and I am going to be careful with how I feel it.
Grateful for the self-care I practiced today, grateful for the rain we received, and grateful for the rainbow I saw today.