Another hard day – damn it! I wish I could shake this depression. I did realize today that whenever I get sick it throws my thyroid out of whack and it takes about six weeks to level back out. I am on an emotional roller coaster right now and my balance is totally off. Knowing what is behind it helps.
We have decided to stay put in Stillwater for the next month. My heart wants to go back to my prairie but my head is telling me to stay here. We had much trouble deciding what to do – both of us want to be in both places.
I need to figure out something to do with myself. I realize how much I liked doing taxes and having something to do several times a week. I can’t get out and do volunteer stuff now so will need to get creative and come up with something else to do. Jim has a very long list of projects to work on and will have no trouble finding something to do around the house. Most of his stuff is stuff I can’t do.
My house sitter is being very flexible and is able to stay on. I will mail her some funds tomorrow so she can replenish the critter food supply and get gas for the mower. I will miss mowing and riding my mower! I love that job.
I only have yarn to do two more blankets and three more baby blankets. Yikes! That is almost a national emergency. Ha!
I will need to find a local doctor to get my blood follow up test done. I had an appointment with my doctor a week from today in Emporia but am not driving back for that. Hoping I can find someone here that is taking new patients and will see me.
I have an appointment with my foot surgeon on April 7. Not sure if I will go to it or not – as fast as things are changing who knows what will be happening then. My foot is a bit better than it was when I went to see him a couple weeks ago. Still not where I want it to be but not an emergency by any means and not worth a four hour trip to see him.
I do have an appointment with my Endocrinologist in May in Topeka that I will drive to. I need to have my cancer levels checked and have my annual check with her.
My Prius is getting picked up tomorrow and shipped to California. It will be good to see it get on its way. Trusting it will have a safe journey and that David will enjoy the car.
Baked Jim some butter cookies last night. He doesn’t have a cookie press so just spooned them out. He said they were delicious although they weren’t pretty.
I went to Walmart today and was surprised that about 30 to 40% of the grocery isles were empty. There were no potatoes, hamburger, beans, sugar, and not to mention Tylenol and hand sanitizer. There were many other shelves empty. I was surprised I was able to find a gallon jug of bleach.
Hard for me to wrap my head around the divide in the country. Many seem to be taking this situation seriously and doing their best to stay home and limit their exposure to others. Yet there is a group that still seems to believe we are making too much out of this and it will all go away on its own. Guess we will see in a few weeks time which group was on the side of truth.
I saw someone getting a manicure today and neither were wearing a mask. Wonder if a manicure was worth the risk? Guess we each have our own priorities and risk levels we are willing to tolerate. This situation is calling us out of our comfort levels to do things that make us uncomfortable and to make sacrifices for the benefit of others.
I’m sure that is part of what I am feeling. Things feel out of control on many levels and giving up free choice feels icky. When I can remember that I still have choices and am making them based on the whole instead of my selfish desires it feels better inside.
I’m sure I’ll bounce out of this funk soon. Remembering my thyroid is behind part of it helps. And this too shall pass – maybe like a kidney stone but it will pass!
Grateful our decision has been made, grateful the Prius is almost on its way to California, and grateful for the groceries I was able to find and buy today.