This has been a restless day for me. I was surprised I slept at all last night after sleeping all of yesterday afternoon. I slept most of the night and even took a short nap this afternoon.
I took the two donations that had been dropped off at my house of cards and stamps to the Detention Center. Unfortunately the director was at a meeting off site. I delivered them to the person in charge of the detention unit today. She is going to have the director call me tomorrow when he is back in the facility. The lady I spoke with today knew about the fundraiser I am doing and was most appreciative of what I dropped by today.
Other than that I have had a stay-at-home day. It has been hard for me to settle down and do anything today. One of those days.
I did call the plumber and ask to be put on their schedule again. They said it would be a couple days before they could get over there again. I have to wonder why they didn’t fix it the first time but I guess that is above my pay grade – oh wait, I am paying for this!
I read that Andrea Gibson made her transition today. She is a poet that I loved listening to. She was only 49 and died of ovarian cancer. Gone much too soon but what a beautiful contribution she made to the world while she was here. Her poetry spoke to me in a deep way. She was not afraid to love and celebrated all the small, beautiful things in this life. She was a bright light that shone in all the darkness around us these days.
Tomorrow I am going to a breakfast in Council Grove. It will be fun to spend some time with like-minded women. In the early evening I have a birthday party to go to which will also be fun.
Wednesday I have to go to Emporia for a blood draw and to pick up some cards and stamps from two people. Thursday I am going back to Emporia for the protest. Also going to another protest on Saturday.
I have been thinking about what to put on the sign I will carry – I think I will put “I stand in love for all”. It is hard for me to be in the energy of hate and throw labels and names back and forth. We have to do better!
One of the people in the group that I posted about the fundraiser I am doing for the detainees in the detention center wrote: “Wow! I’m really struggling here – making life in a concentration camp a bit more comfortable somehow makes being placed in a concentration camp OK? Are you also OK if they get shipped to a country who will torture and kill them – maybe some comfy socks would help.” Oh my!
When people are living in a place of hate and fear they can say things that add to that energy. I keep reminding myself that how people respond says more about them than it does about me. It is hard to remember that sometimes.
My response back was “I hear you and I trust we are all doing what we can to change the bigger issues. This fundraiser is a drop in the ocean to touch the lives of a very few that are having their lives turned upside down. I am open to ideas on other things to do.” So far, no response.
I get it. This issue is so complex and the solutions are hard to find. However, if one can rise above the fear and hate and overwhelm solutions can and do present themselves. Love will win over hate!
Staying in love can feel lonely and harder than caving into the fear and hate. It is a different approach for many so it feels differently and not familiar. “We have tried hate and war; now let love have its turn to whisper”. I can’t remember who said that but I lean into that daily.
Sitting with my dis-ease tonight. Sometimes I have to stop and allow myself to have all the feels. So much pain, so much chaos, so much anger, so much hate, so much division. It doesn’t have to be this way. Hard to rise above it all and stay in love energy.
Grateful for the life and works of Andrea Gibson, grateful for the incredible outpouring of support and love that is coming in for the fundraiser, and grateful love will win.