What a beautiful spring-like day on the prairie. It reached into the low 60’s today and little wind. I officially have a bad case of spring fever now.
I went to Cottonwood Falls this afternoon for happy hour at a friend’s house. There were five or six other women there. I felt a bit more comfortable today but didn’t stay very long. The anxiety was still in my background but a bit quieter today.
Yesterday I got a notice from the water department that my water is going to shut off February 27 if I don’t get my past due bill paid. I hadn’t received a bill and forgot to call and ask them how much it was. I dropped off the payment as I drove through Strong City this afternoon. Embarrassing to be late but when you don’t get a bill it is hard to pay. The mail service is not as reliable as it used to be.
I’ve had another day of not doing much. I read a post on Facebook yesterday that said “When you finally feel safe, you will feel exhausted. You will want to rest a lot more, sleep more or do absolutely nothing and know that that is ok! After so long of being in survival mode, your body recognizes that you can now lay down your armour”. When I read that I knew that described my situation perfectly. I knew there was a reason for the empty space and that I needed to trust it was what I needed to be doing right now. This post seemed to confirm that and allow me to step into acceptance of doing nothing right now.
I love when answers to my problems show up when I least expect it. Facebook taught me what I was doing wrong in my marriage, helped me identify what the root cause was and now helped me understand why I can’t seem to do anything. It helps me step into acceptance of my situation and give it a name. I find that so helpful.
No plans for tomorrow and Wednesday. I hope to get some cleaning done if the mood hits. I don’t want to leave it all until Friday and Saturday so hoping the mood hits.
It is to reach 70 on Wednesday and then a cold front comes in and the high on Thursday will be 37. It will be back in the mid 50’s by Saturday. Maybe these two days will be the last two days of winter for the year.
Feeling the in-between time tonight. It is easier knowing it is my central nervous system healing and calming and I need to give it as much time as it needs to fully settle down. Part of me wants to rush this time and part of me knows not to.
Grateful for the spring-like day on the prairie today, grateful to have learned what this in-between time is for, and grateful my water bill got paid and the water didn’t get shut off.