I slept a lot Monday morning. I was well taken care of by the retreat leader and Nicole. He brought me some broth, bread and banana for lunch. I finally managed to get most of it down.
Around 2:00 we met with the Shaman and each got a chance to share. He told me my thyroid cancer is gone. Both Shamans mentioned my perfectionist tendencies. They are going to give me a littler dose of plant medicine tonight since I have been sick today. I am grateful for that.
My tummy was very active and loud Monday afternoon. Trusting it will be quiet soon.
Oh my! What a fucking experience. The English translation for Ayahuasca is colon cleanse – at least for me.
We sat in total darkness for ceremony. They ask us to sit up as long as we could. I didn’t last very long as my head got too heavy for me to hold up. They had mats and pillows for us to rest on during the ceremony.
I threw up at first but then my diarrhea came back with a vengeance. The first time I ask for help to go downstairs to the toilet I didn’t make it in time. It felt complicated to get downstairs as everything was pitch black. The leaders had red light flashlights. I staggered like a drunk down the stairs. Thank heavens my host was supporting me. I had to ask the retreat leader to go get me clean underwear and pants as I had shit all over my ass and down my pants. I made a huge mess in the bathroom. I got the hand towel wet and attempted to clean it up. I was in full-on Ayahuasca mood and I had six arms. It took me a couple tries to pick up the towel with my real hand. I put my dirty clothes in the shower. I need to apologize to the rest of the group tomorrow for leaving such a mess and for hogging the toilet. Thank heavens they had two toilets.
When he handed me my new clothes through the door I set them on the counter. When I went to put them on I burned my finger. I had set my pants on the candle which sat on the counter top and burned a hole in my pants.
After my next trip downstairs I ask if I could stay downstairs on the couch so I could be closer to the toilet. They let me do that. There were a few times I was glad I had a barf bucket as both ends were going at the same time.
I am grateful to the two retreat leaders. They took very good care of me. They each sat with me at different times and rubbed my back or head. I felt very safe throughout the evening. I am pretty rung out tonight though.
I got the shakes again – this time mainly my head. My legs shook a couple of times too.
At some point I was escorted back upstairs for a blessing from the Shaman. After he anointed my face with oil he sang a song and shook rattles over my head. When he was done he blew air on the top of my head. I felt it go all the way down my spine and out my bottom.
I must have gone to the toilet 30 times. I am ready for a colonoscopy!
They explained to me afterwards that most people purge but some do what I did. It is all old energy that the medicine is expelling.
Not sure I got any insights yet. I knew I was releasing old shit (literally) and none of it has an interpretation for me yet.
One down! Three to go! I think I can! I think I can! I will be better prepared tomorrow and take extra clothes and wet wipes. My ass is raw tonight.
Oh what a night! Thank heavens it only lasted a bit over three hours and I got a small dose!
Big gentle love and hugs to you, dear brave woman. May each session be a little easier. May you continue to release all the old shit. And Hooray for the cancer being gone! Much love from me and mine❤❤❤❤