Today’s lessons were all about how to engage people in conversations and how to get them to feel more comfortable discussing end of life care plans. I ordered some more suggested supplies that may help people engage. Most of the tips were about practicing good listening skills and allowing the client to steer the conversation. I can do that!
Spent some more time organizing the resources I have gathered so far. Need to get a file box to put my folders in. I will need to make a bunch of copies sometime soon. Next time I go to Walmart I need to pick up a file box and another ream of copy paper.
There is a lot of choices one can make – or not. The more a person makes ahead of time, the less choices the family will have to make after a death. It feels a bit overwhelming to consider everything but much easier now than after a death. The good news is that in most cases there is no urgency to make the decisions and clients can take their time and consider all the options. That is why it will take several sessions with clients to finalize everything. They recommend an annual review in case things have changed.
The more I learn about end of life, the more I want to live my life, fully embracing the moments I have. As the instructor said in the video today, there is not one thing I can change about my past. I can change my relationship to the past and accept it for what it is and leave behind any regrets or shame I may still be carrying. Letting go frees up space inside that I can use to live more fully in the present.
One homework assignment I have is to write letters to those that I want to ask forgiveness from. Mailing them is optional and maybe not even desired or needed. The forgiveness I am seeking is really self-forgiveness. Writing can help process those thoughts and allow one to let go easier. Many of us carry guilt and shame about situations from the past that the other person involved has long forgotten about. Think of the freedom it will give you to put that energy to a positive use instead of all the stinking, negative thinking.
There are those situations where a relationship was damaged and there is no longer communication with the other party. Maybe you felt that you were wronged and are waiting for the other person to admit their fault and apologize. Writing a letter to yourself about that situation may be helpful to allow yourself to finally step out of the binds that hold you to that person and allow yourself to be set free. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. It also doesn’t mean that engaging in a relationship again is needed. Boundaries are there for a reason and it may be appropriate to continue to have the distance between you. What is important is that the situation doesn’t consume your emotional energy and that you forgive yourself for your part of the situation.
This isn’t easy work! It takes a lot of courage and authenticity to step out and cut yourself free. The freedom you will feel afterwards is worth it. Sometimes it helps to find someone neutral and have them hold your hand through the process.
I think the world would be in a lot better place if more people could take the steps to learn forgiveness and set themselves and others free. We would then each have more room inside to use our energies for positive things if we can release the negative experiences we each carry.
There is an emotional scale that is used to gauge where a person is emotionally. Let’s say it is a scale of 1 – 100. 50 is at a point of being neutral. Anything below that is a negative drain on yourself and everything above 50 is a positive charge. Did you know that the vast majority of people run on a negative charge all day? They take out more emotional energy than they give to the world. If we each could do our own inner work and find ways to be above neutral, collectively we could change the energy of the world.
No one is asking one to always be above neutral. That is for the saints to accomplish. But if the majority of your time you could stay above neutral you would be more emotionally healthy than the majority of people on earth. The way to get there is to let go of the stinking, negative thinking about past situations that you cannot change. We can only change things by staying fully present moment by moment. By having more personal emotional energy available we can be more fully present and have a much better chance to react to life in a positive way.
If you need help getting to a positive, emotional state, reach out. My Hand in Yours would be glad to help!
Enough preaching! Grateful to be increasing in my gratitude for the little things that happen each and every day. Grateful for the 2 inches of rain the prairie received overnight. Grateful for the cooler temperatures today.