I took a sleeping aide last night and slept long and hard. I was overdue for a long night’s sleep. Woke up feeling rested and restored for the first time in a long time. I did have a bit of a hangover from the sleeping aide though.
My lunch date had to back out as she needed to do something with her husband. Totally understood and am grateful she took care of a priority that came up. Teaches me how to do the same if needed in the future. We are going to try again tomorrow if the weather stays nice. We have a bit of a winter storm headed our way and am not sure when it is to hit.
I drove into Emporia to go to Walmart to get some distilled water. They were out of it. I went to Dollar General and got some, stopped at Flying J and filled my car up with gas and came home. If I had known Walmart was out I would have gone to Dollar General in Cottonwood Falls. Oh well, it was a pretty day for a short drive.
Fell asleep in my chair this afternoon. The sun was shining on the prairie and I made the mistake of wrapping myself in a soft, warm blanket. I woke up two hours later. I hadn’t taken a nap day in a long time.
I haven’t gotten downstairs to paint or to ride my bike yet. I managed to go 30 minutes yesterday. I am counting that as a win as I really didn’t think I would get a ride in yesterday. It was a hard day.
Today has been easier for me. Things feel more possible today. I haven’t talked to anyone for three days except for a brief phone call with my lunch date this morning. Maybe tomorrow I will get out and find someone to talk to.
Still grateful I backed out of doing taxes. I almost got out the tax computer and attempted the second set of problems. Not that I would do taxes this year but to prove to myself I can do this and pass the damn test. Decided I didn’t need to prove anything to myself so didn’t do it. Failing a tax test doesn’t make me stupid, although that is how I felt Wednesday. I wasn’t set up for success and failed.
I need to remove the metal rods that hold the shelf brackets on the bookcase that I am painting. Am a bit afraid that I won’t be able to get them off and then back on correctly. Guess I will give it a go and see what happens. I can always have Phil, my handyman, come rescue me if needed.
My painter is to come tomorrow to finish the last five minutes of the project he did in December. Wonder if I should take bets it he shows up or not. He is a great painter but not reliable.
The sunset was a beauty tonight. I call it a Plain Jane one as there were no clouds. The best part of a Plain Jane sunset is the 360 degree rim around the horizon. Hard to know what direction to look when that happens as there is beauty all around me.
I go see my Therapist Monday. I am making a list of things to discuss with her. This will probably be my last visit unless things come up down the road and I need her help again. She was a lifesaver for me and I so appreciate the way she handled our conversations and the advice she gave me. I couldn’t have done this whole thing without her help.
After I see the Therapist, I am meeting my Aunt and taking her out to lunch. We will have a fun visit. Mom has two sisters left and I love them both very much. Spending time with either of them is almost like getting to visit with my mom again. Both of my Aunts love to talk so I just get to listen. It will make the trip to Wichita more rewarding for me.
Tuesday I have an appointment to get my hair cut. I always enjoy the conversation I have with my barber. A haircut always makes me feel better about myself too. I will stop and get some groceries afterwards and get stocked back up on the regular stuff I eat. I also need to get some dog food.
Still wrapping my head around my future. The divorce changed what I thought my future was going to look like. I can’t quite seem to be able to start envisioning a different path for myself yet. I still have some healing and recovery work to do before I can start allowing a new path to come in. I’m still climbing out of the rabbit hole I fell into during my marriage. I am making progress but this week made me realize I still have a ways to go. Taking each day one at a time and allowing myself extra grace right now. No decisions need to be made urgently and I have nothing but time to let things unfold. Things always work out better for me when I don’t push or pull and can allow them to unfold in a natural way.
Grateful for afternoon naps, grateful for sleep aides, and grateful for the beauty of a Plain Jane sunset.