Author: Kay Krause

Not sure where this day went. I am grateful I had nothing I had to do as I spent most of the day drowsy and resting. Have run a temperature of 101 most of the day. I got really cold this morning and had trouble warming myself up. I trust by tomorrow I will be back to normal as these side effects from the Covid vaccine usually only last about 24 – 48 hours for me.

I did walk the dogs this morning. I had a small burst of energy and used it to get that job done. Kathy was working and I knew the dogs didn’t want to wait until she came home to do their business.

I’m going to try to eat some chicken and rice soup and see how that goes down. I ate some yogurt this morning but haven’t been hungry the rest of the day. Doing my best to drink lots but even that hasn’t wanted to go down well.

And this too shall pass. None of this is a bad as an actual case of Covid. I’m sure by tomorrow I will be back to normal.

Grateful for the protection the vaccine gives me from severe illness, grateful I could take a day to rest, and grateful that this too shall pass quickly.

Had trouble finding sleep last night. Fell asleep around 3:30 or 4:00 this morning and was awake by 6:30. Makes for a long day when I don’t get much sleep.

Went to Emporia this morning. My appointment to get my flu and Covid vaccine was at 11:00. They got to me right away and got that taken care of. Then I went to CVS and dropped off a package for Kathy. Went to the local shoe store downtown and got a new pair of tennis shoes. It is almost time to quit wearing my open toe sandals and help my feet stay warmer. They didn’t have the type I have been wearing so am trying out a new brand to me. Trust they will not hurt my feet. Man, shoes are expensive these days.

Went to exercise. It was only 48 minutes today. Time went fast as I had a fun conversation with my trainer.

Met Jason for lunch at Bobby’s D’s. He was between clients and had time to meet me. Always a good day when I get to spend time with one of my kids. It was lightly raining when I came out after lunch. I had stopped and had my car washed on the way to the gym. Not sure that did much good.

This late afternoon my arm is starting to be a bit sore and I am getting a headache. I took some Tylenol and hope to ward off the worst of the side effects. I am grateful I have nothing to do tomorrow or Thursday so have two days to recover. Maybe I will get some extra sleep tonight and tomorrow to make up for what I haven’t gotten the last couple of nights.

Phil finishing putting on the main floor of the front porch today. I am loving the look of the new porch. It makes the house look so much better. He still has to figure out the steps, paint, railing and enclose below the floor. We talked about the railing today and he will take it from there. I trust his judgement and know he will pick out something I will like.

Friday I have to go back to Emporia for exercise. I want to stop and get some groceries for the trip while I am in town. I will have to go back to town Saturday as I have to have the dogs at the vet’s office before 11:30. They will be staying with the Vet while Kathy and I are gone. We leave Sunday morning.

Guess I probably should think about making a packing list. Since we are only going to be gone for three nights I won’t need much. I will have to dig out some warmer clothes as CO received their first snow of the year this week. Trusting we won’t run into weather related issues on the highway to and from. We plan on taking most of our food and eating in the cabin. Again, we won’t need much for only two full days there.

The hospital called and got my mammogram scheduled for October. I have several doctor appointments and tests coming up in October and November. Good to get those things on the calendar and taken care of. If I remember, I need to stop and have my thyroid level checked Friday while I am in town.

Have a feeling I will be in bed early tonight. I am getting very tired. I am cuddled up in my chair with a warm blanket over my legs. This change in the temperature is hard to adjust to. Kathy said she is ready for summer already. Not sure I would go that far but I sure don’t like cold weather.

This has been an easier day than yesterday was. I am not overly full of energy today but have more than I did yesterday. I think I got drained Sunday and it took me a bit to refill. Grateful today’s trip to town didn’t drain me again.

Grateful to have gotten to have lunch with Jason today, grateful for vaccines, and grateful I can take a rest and recovery day tomorrow if needed.

It turned into a beautiful day today. It was cold and cloudy this morning but warmed up nicely this afternoon after the sun came out. I could get used to days like this where the high is mid 70’s.

This has been a low energy day for me. Yesterday drained me, I think. I haven’t even attempted to do much today as I knew it wouldn’t go well. I did take a walk this afternoon and stopped in at a happy hour but had trouble settling and left shortly after I got there. The walk was nice though.

I did call the Vet and booked rooms for Sophia and Roxy for the time Kathy and I will be in CO. We still need to find someone to take care of the cats but the dogs will be taken care of. Sunday will be here before I know it and we will head for CO for a couple days in the mountains.

Phil got some of the new flooring put on the front porch today. It looks like we picked out flooring to match the house perfectly. Amazing how close the color is to the house color. He got pulled away to take care of some emergency repairs this afternoon but plans on working most of the day tomorrow to get the rest of the boards put on. I am very pleased with the look of the new porch and how it changes the look of the house.

Tomorrow I have my flu and Covid vaccines at 11:00 and then exercise at noon. I need to think of something to do for the hour between the two. I don’t like to eat before exercise and am trying to think of what I need so I can do some shopping. I may take a nap in my car.

Nothing on my calendar for Wednesday and Thursday so I can have two days to recover from the vaccines in case I have a reaction. I usually run a temperature and am achy for a day or two afterwards. Friday I go back to Emporia for exercise and then Saturday I will take the dogs in before noon for their extended stay.

This has been one of those days. I seem to need them after an intense gathering or outing. Grateful I have the privilege and time to gift them to myself so I can recharge and recover.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful progress is being made on the porch and grateful the Vet had room to board the dogs.

Happy Fall Equinox to all today. A day that can remind us to be in balance within. As the days gradually grow darker it is time to turn inward and find your inner strength and power.

We had a beautiful ceremony this afternoon. We spent some time talking about how important it is for each of us to do our inner work and stay regulated and above neutral. Every act we do of responsible thought an action matters. We are all interconnected and one person arising above the level of neutral can have a powerful impact on others around them.

My rain gauge shows 1 and 1/2 inch of rain. The new grass Kathy planted will love the rain and cooler temperatures. It is not to get above 75 the rest of the week so the AC is off and the windows are open. I actually had to close one of the windows earlier today as I was getting cold. What a difference 24 hours makes in Kansas.

I got the rest of the house cleaned earlier today. Then the dogs came in from spending the day out in their wet and muddy pen. I may have to clean all over again. Oh well, it doesn’t take long to clean this little house. I will wait until it dries out a bit and the dogs don’t track in when they come in and out.

My trainer has somewhere to go tomorrow so I don’t have to go to town for exercise. Yay for another stay at home day. I am going in Tuesday to get my flu and Covid vaccines and am going to exercise after that. The flooring material is to be delivered tomorrow so hoping that will get put on this week.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. It must have been 3:00 or later before I could fall asleep and even then I woke up several times. I took a short chair nap after ceremony today and trust that tonight I will find sleep.

Not much on my to do list right now. I have an abundance of empty space time. A week from today Kathy and I are going to CO for four days. That will be good to get away for a short trip into the mountains. When I get home I am going to organize a meditation gathering to help us all get through the last of this political chaos. We will meet weekly for one hour and spend time together meditating and visualizing a different type of world where everyone is heard and all needs are met. Details coming soon.

Grateful for my dear friends that gather and share, grateful for mentors that lead the way, and grateful for the rain.

A hot, humid day in Kansas today. Hoping this is the last blast of summer. The cool down arrives tonight. Next week we will be in the 70’s most days. Yay!

I went to the ESU football game this afternoon. My extended family was honored as the ESU Heritage Family of the year. We got to go down on the field at halftime. Unfortunately we couldn’t hear the speaker so not sure what was said about us. There were about 20 of us present.

I was going to go to the tail gate lunch before the game but decided it was too hot. I’m glad I made that decision as just sitting for a little over a quarter of the game was hot enough for me. I left right after the award thingy.

We are getting a bit of rain this evening with more expected. The temperature is starting to drop a bit. I will turn off the AC before I go to bed tonight and open windows. I don’t think we will need it this coming week.

Tomorrow some friends are coming over for a Fall Equinox Ceremony. I will need to do a bit of housecleaning before that. Sometimes I think I need to invite company over more often as that motivates me to clean. I always enjoy our ceremonies and look forward to them.

Monday Sutherland’s is delivering the front porch flooring material. Phil worked on the porch a bit this afternoon. I will be grateful when that project is completed. The new porch has changed the look of the front of the house already. I’m excited to see it finished.

The only other house project on my list for this year is for something to be done to the foundation under the bedroom and dining room. Phil has that on his list to work on when the porch gets done. Next year I may add a privacy fence and a garage but we shall see if I still want them by then.

I’m looking for a house sitter for September 30 to October 3. If you know of someone that does that kind of thing, please let me know. I will have to board the dogs if I can’t find someone.

Next Tuesday I get my flu shot and Covid vaccine. I don’t have anything on my calendar for Wednesday and Thursday in case I need a day or two to recover.

I’m excited about going to CO in another week. It will be a short trip but will be good to get away for a couple of days. I checked today and Trail Ridge Road is still open. Hoping we can drive over to Grand Lake one day while we are there. I think Trail Ridge Road is my favorite road of all. I love being out on the tundra.

Grateful to get to have seen some extended family today, grateful for a break in this heat, and grateful the porch is one step closer to being done.

Last night I went to the Dollar General store. The car sounded funny and drove weird. When I got home I discovered I had a flat tire. I got an alert on my phone after I got home telling me a tire’s pressure was low. This morning I walked Roxy down to Dieker’s and arranged for them to come fix the tire. About 30 minutes later they showed up, aired the tire up and drove the car to the station to fix the tire. The car came back about 30 minutes later. That was easy! They left the bill in the car and trusted I would come pay it later.

I walked downtown to meet some friends for lunch and stopped by Dieker’s to pay the bill. $39 did the trick. Not bad for door to door service. Lunch with my friends was delightful. It is always a good day when I get to have deep conversations with like-minded friends.

I went to exercise after lunch. The 50 minutes went by fast and my trainer and I had a good discussion today. Sometimes we forgot to do the exercises as we were caught up in the conversation.

I met Kathy at Verizon afterwards. I wanted to explore the option of moving Kathy’s phone to my lines. The guy that waited on us was less than helpful. The store in Emporia is an independent store and not able to do much more than get people started on a phone for the first time. Disappointing to say the least.

I then went to Walmart to get a few groceries. I also picked up a bunch of tulip, daffodils and hyacinth bulbs that Kathy said she would plant in the new planter she made around a tree in the yard. I love spring flowers and trust they will come up next spring,

Kathy did find out how to get her phone replaced as the battery is not holding a charge and it gets too hot to touch most days. She called Verizon this afternoon and had a long conversation with one of their staff. At the end the guy tried to sell her some sort of insurance plan for a mere $25 a month. He had a lot of trouble taking no for an answer. I have never heard a more persistent sales person. Kathy had the patience of a saint with him. I would have hung up on him long before she did.

We are to have one more day of this heat. It almost reached 100 here today. Too dang hot for the end of September. Next week we get to 80 on one day and the rest will be below that. I am so ready for fall temperatures.

I booked a cabin for Kathy and I at Estes Park, CO for the end of the month. We will only stay for three nights but it sounds like heaven to me right now. We will drive out on a Sunday and come home on a Wednesday. That will give us two full days to hike around Estes Park. I doubt Trail Ridge Road will be open but maybe we are early enough to be able to drive it. I sent a note to some people that have house sat for me before hoping to find someone to be able to come take care of the dogs and cats. If all else fails, I will board the dogs and find someone to pop in to feed the cats a couple times while we are gone.

Tomorrow is the ESU football game and lunch that Kathy and I are going to. Hoping it doesn’t rain like the forecast is calling for. I doubt that I go if it does. Sunday is the Equinox Ceremony which is always a highlight of the month for me.

Monday the new front porch flooring is to be delivered. It will be good to get that project finished up. We still haven’t ordered the railing material so it will still be some time before the whole project is done but step by step it is getting taken care of.

Tuesday I am getting my flu and Covid vaccines. I have nothing on my calendar for Wednesday and Thursday in case I have a reaction and need a day or two to recover.

It has been a good day for me. Getting out and seeing friends is uplifting and something I need to remember to do more often. I get stuck in my rut and forget to get out.

Grateful for lunch with friends, grateful for wonderful local tire service and grateful for new spring flowers to look forward to.

This has been another lazy day. I didn’t do much at all today. Low energy and low motivation. Guess if there had been something that had to gotten done I might have done it but couldn’t think of anything that had to be done so I did nothing.

We had a thunderstorm come through around 4:30 or 5:00 this morning. There was a crack of thunder that sounded like it was right in the house. I wasn’t sleeping soundly anyways but that jolted me up for good. I never did go back to sleep. Was nice to get a touch of rain. It didn’t last long but I appreciated every drop we got.

With Kathy back home I only got in a little over 4,000 steps today. She walks the dogs too. I did take a walk this morning without the dogs which was nice. I had almost forgotten how much I enjoy walking when I don’t have a dog with me. It got too hot to walk this afternoon – we were back in the 90’s today. This heat wave is to break this weekend and next week will be more fall like temperatures.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. I have a list of things I need to get after I am done with exercise. Saturday I am going to the ESU football game as my extended family is being honored as the Heritage Family of the Year for ESU. It will be fun to spend some time with cousins. Sunday we are doing our Fall Equinox Ceremony in the afternoon so it will be a busy weekend for me.

Next Tuesday I am getting my flu shot and Covid vaccine. I timed it for that day as I have nothing on my calendar the following two days in case I need a day or two to recover. Last year the flu shot didn’t affect me but the Covid vaccine knocked me out for a day.

I am thinking about going to Colorado for three days the following week. I want to go hear the elk bellowing in the mountains and see the aspen trees turn gold. I have a doctor’s appointment on the 3rd and possibly jury duty on the 4th so I would have to be home for those appointments. I think I could sneak away the 29th and come home the 2nd. It would be a quick trip but hearing the elk is on my bucket list. I would have to find a house sitter as I think Kathy wants to go with me. I’ll see if I can make it work. Anyone else want to ride along with us?

These two rest days have been good for my soul. I still forget to give my self permission to rest. One of the habits I have had the most trouble breaking is the mind game of productivity over being. I still have to remind myself being is enough.

Grateful for another rest day, grateful for the little bit of rain we received this morning, and grateful this heat wave is to break soon.

Kathy and I went to a friend’s house last night and sat out on their deck and watched the full harvest moon rise. What a perfect evening to moon and star watch. It was a balm to my soul. I watched the lunar eclipse after I got home. It was a beautiful evening to feast my eyes on the beauty of Mother Nature.

I had trouble finding sleep last night. I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling very good. I was up for a couple hours and finally found some more sleep.

I took Sophia for a walk around 9:00 this morning. I finished Sophia’s walk and then was taking Roxy when the washing machine delivery guys called me. They were about 30 minutes early. We rushed home so they could get the new washer installed. That process went quickly and smoothly. It is nice to have a washer again.

I took a long nap this afternoon. I wasn’t going to be productive at anything if I stayed up and I didn’t have anything that had to be done so I gifted myself a nap. I felt better when I got up but have no energy today. It has been a good day to rest.

No plans for tomorrow. I have a grocery list of things I need but they can all wait till I go to town on Friday for exercise. Maybe tomorrow I can get another room deep cleaned.

Feeling a bit disconnected and down today. My body seems to need a day like that weekly. It helps me appreciate the good ones better if nothing else. I have learned to allow myself to slide down into the muck pond and wallow in the mud for a bit. Thank heavens my time spent there usually doesn’t last long.

Grateful for a long afternoon nap, grateful for the new washer, and grateful to know I will be able to climb out of the muck pond soon.

I went to KC to pick Kathy up at the airport this afternoon. I stopped at Chipotle and had lunch and then went to Costco on the way to the airport. Costco was out of the thing I went for but found a couple of other things I needed.

Kathy’s flight got in early. I only had to drive around the big circle once before she was out and ready for me. That was easy.

Traffic was a bit heavier than normal today. I hit a couple of places where I had to stop and go for a bit. Not sure what was going on to create extra traffic today. Grateful for a safe trip to and from.

This evening Kathy and I went over to a friend’s house to watch the full moon rise. It was the perfect evening to sit outside and enjoy the show. We saw the moon rise through a dead tree in the back yard. It was a very Halloween feeling evening. There is a lunar eclipse that will be happening within the hour. I set the alarm on my watch so I will remember to go out and watch it.

I am tired tonight. Driving to and from KC in one day is exhausting for me. Grateful to have Kathy back home though. The critters and I missed her.

The new washing machine is to be delivered in the morning. Other than that I don’t have any plans tomorrow or Thursday. I still need to finish up the deep cleaning project. Maybe I will find the motivation to get that job done.

Have been doing some deep thinking today. I am contemplating what actions I can take to do my part in creating a new world. I may need to get some friends together so we can do some brain storming and see what we can come up with. The urge to do some new things is strong right now – just need to figure out what that may look and feel like.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, grateful Kathy is back home, and grateful for a beautiful evening sitting outside enjoying Mother Nature at her finest.

Got up and took the dogs one by one on their walks. When I got home I started a load of laundry. I had trouble getting the lid to lock properly but it finally clicked in. It has been acting weird lately and doing this before. After about an hour I heard the washer sounding an alarm. I didn’t have that many clothes in the washed and couldn’t understand why it was off balance. I went to open the lid and realized the back left corner of the lid was not looking right. The plastic that holds the hinge in place had cracked and broken. I can no longer get the lid to the washer closed.

Luckily the load I was washing was all but done and I was able to throw them in the dryer and let the dryer finish getting all the water out of them.

I found the papers for the washer and discovered the washer just got out of warranty. Dang it anyways. I went to town early for exercise and stopped and bought a new washer. They are to deliver it Wednesday morning. The new washer has an agitator that is removable for when you wash big blankets. I haven’t been impressed with the washer I had as it had no agitator and I never thought it got the clothes as clean as it should. Here is to hoping this one will last a bit longer than the other one did.

I did exercise with my trainer and another lady. She had come an hour early for her session so they had her join mine. It makes the time go faster when there is someone new to visit with. The guy on the video today did more talking than we exercised but oh well, I wasn’t in the mood to exercise and I didn’t have to work very hard today.

I took Sophia on a long walk when I got home from exercise but Roxy declined my offer of a walk. She was hot and wanted to come in the house and take a nap. Smart dog!

I finally remembered to dump recycling this afternoon. Kathy usually does that job but it needed done before she gets home tomorrow. Luckily the recycling trailer was rather empty and it was an easy job to dump it.

I am working on deep cleaning the living room today. I have the vacuuming done, now need to hand mop the floors and dust.

Tomorrow I have to go to KC to pick Kathy up at 4:00. I may go early and stop at Chipotle for lunch and go to Costco. I’ll see how I am feeling in the morning and decide if I am in the mood to shop. Somedays I can and somedays I can’t.

I have been enjoying my Facebook memories this month. Nine years ago I was walking the Camino and posted a few pictures along the way. So far I have been able to take myself back in time and go back to the place from the picture. What a magical experience that was for me. Grateful I took some pictures and blogged during that experience. It helps me remember the little things that made that trip so special.

There is a full harvest moon tomorrow night as well as a partial lunar eclipse. I may have to drive out to the country and watch the moon rise. I am missing seeing the moon and staying aware of what cycle it is in. I can see the moon from my bedroom window some nights but that is after it has been up for a bit.

Sunday is Fall Equinox. Three more months of growing darkness. I am feeling the pull of nature calling me to slow down and turn inward. Sometimes during this time of year it is hard for me to stay regulated and find my balance. If I am not intentional about it, I get pulled off center and it is very hard to get back in alignment. The chaos of the world seems to have been pulled off center right now and it is easy to fall into the chaos. The most help I can be to the world right now, is to stay as conscious as I know how to be and keep myself out of the muck pond. The more that can do that the easier it becomes.

Grateful I can have a new washer by Wednesday, grateful for the memories I hold dear of my Camino adventure, and grateful for the beauty and power of a harvest moon.

The dogs let me sleep in a bit this morning. I took each of them on a walk and then put them outside. I got the watering started this morning so it was done by early afternoon. Lewis went out to the dog pen for a bit today too.

I didn’t do much today. I watched part of the Chiefs game but fell asleep in my chair during the third quarter. The dogs needed walked so I missed the ending of the game too. I was surprised to see that they won.

I have to go to Emporia for exercise tomorrow afternoon at 2:00. I can’t think of any errands I need to run while I am in town. I will double check my grocery list but right now it is empty. I will go back on Friday so think I am good until then.

Tuesday I pick Kathy up at the KC airport. I may go up a bit early and stop at Costco but not sure I need enough to make a trip. Since I will be close and it isn’t out of the way, I may stop. Only have a couple things I need and they can wait for another day if I’m not in the mood to go early and stop.

I will be grateful when the temperature breaks again later this week. It was too hot for me today and it is to be in the upper 80’s and lower 90’s until the weekend. I am ready for cooler, fall like temperatures.

This has been a low energy type of day for me. I granted myself grace and allowed it to be a rest day. I have lots of cleaning I would like to get done but it has waited this long, it can wait another day or two. I felt a bit drained today and needed to recharge and refill my soul.

Grateful for a rest day, grateful cleaning can wait a bit, and grateful for chair naps on lazy Sunday afternoons.

Happy birthday to my oldest daughter Michelle. We had fun celebrating her today with a family lunch.

The dogs let me sleep in a bit this morning. That was a good thing as I didn’t fall asleep until after 3:00 this morning. Not sure why I struggle some nights to find sleep. I took them each for a walk after I woke up and then put them outside. Lewis got in his carrier so I took him out to the dog pen too.

I finished hemming Ellexia’s dress this morning. I wanted to take it to her today and have her try it on to see if I needed to put a slit in the bottom of it. I was grateful to get that project completed. I don’t think Mrs. Jones, my high school home economics teacher would have given me an A on the job I did but Ellexia did and that is all that counts. I was struggling to get that project started as I didn’t want to ruin the dress. Grateful it turned out OK and Ellexia is pleased. Sometimes my perfectionist tendencies come back up to bite me in the ass. I’m grateful I was able to rise to the occasion and silence the head chatter and get it done even if it wasn’t perfect.

Jason, Michelle’s family and Nancy and I met at Casa Romas for lunch today to celebrate Michelle’s birthday. Nicole and Geoff are out of town and couldn’t join us. I always enjoy family time and we had a nice lunch courtesy of Nancy. I passed off Ellexia’s dress and a cake for Michelle and her birthday present after lunch and then came home.

I have been going out and changing the position of the water sprinkler every 30 minutes this afternoon. I set the timer on my watch or I would forget to do so. The grass Kathy planted right before she left is finally starting to sprout. I was afraid I had killed it. It has been warm this week and I haven’t gotten any rain to help me keep it wet. Hoping the watering that I am doing today will keep it growing. I will attempt to water everything again tomorrow too. Yard work isn’t my thing – grateful it is Kathy’s!

Kathy’s son got married today. The pictures show a beautiful ceremony and setting for the wedding. I’m grateful Kathy has gotten this time with her family. It is hard to think of a more special day than when the whole family gathers.

No plans for tomorrow other than more watering and house cleaning. I still haven’t finished deep cleaning the whole house but am getting close. Now that the dress is done maybe I can relax and get more cleaning done.

I scheduled my next Covid vaccine and flu shot for September 24. From all I have read the end of September and into October is the best time to get it. I wanted to have a couple days free on my calendar afterwards in case I have a reaction. I decided to get both shots at the same time this year as I have read that provides more benefit. Hoping it doesn’t push me over the cliff. From what I am hearing there is lots of icky stuff going around right now, including lots of Covid. I don’t get out too much so my exposure is rather limited, however, I do believe in the vaccines and will trust it will help limit the damage if I do get Covid for the fourth time.

I am contemplating how to handle myself during this upcoming election season. I don’t think arguing on Facebook with a supporter from the other side is productive for me. I keep getting reminders from various sources that the best thing I can do is to continue to do my inner work and show up in the world shining as brightly as I possibly can. If I want a different world to live in, I have to be a different person. I firmly believe our current political system is broken with major problems on both sides of the isle. It is hard for me to find ways to contribute to the broken system in a meaningful way. I am attempting to spend a few minutes a day envisioning what I would like the world to be and then from that finding little ways that I can help that come into being. Contributing to a food bank, supporting a trans person, feeding a family that is going through a crisis, etc. feels like what I am to be doing right now.

The world is changing at a very rapid pace. It can leave me breathless sometimes as I witness us all clinging to the old ways. Detaching myself from this old pattern of behavior and not playing the old games takes awareness. I still don’t fully understand the new ways of being but feel the inner tug to step out of my comfort zone and allow myself to be guided into new ways of doing things. Our old systems are broken and are falling away. I think the chaos we all feel and see in the world is people clinging desperately to hold on to old ways. I am working hard to find more and more ways to let go and allow myself to grow in new ways, even when it is lonely and uncomfortable.

Grateful for family days, grateful to get to celebrate Michelle today, and grateful Ellexia’s dress is done.

The dogs let me sleep in a bit this morning. I had taken them out at 10:30 last night. It was nice to get some sleep last night.

Phil has the front porch usable for me. He put a temporary floor of plywood down and made some temporary steps. He went in and picked out the composite material and then asked me to go in and pay for it. I stopped in on the way to exercise this afternoon. I liked what he picked out and it wasn’t as expensive as I thought it was going to be. It will take about two weeks before it will be here.

I stopped at Walmart and got some cat litter as we were out. After that stop I went to exercise. It was good to see my normal trainer as she has been out almost two weeks with Covid. She is still not back to her normal self but was able to come in today. We had a good conversation during exercise and the time went by quickly.

I pinned one of the hems for Ellexia’s dress this afternoon. Still need to pin the lining. I may get it done so I can take it to town tomorrow when I go in for Michelle’s birthday lunch. We shall see how the evening goes.

With Kathy gone this week I have been getting my steps in. I am averaging about 8,50 steps a day – one day I did over 10,000. Yay for me! I guess the dogs are good for something.

Other than lunch with Michelle tomorrow I don’t have any plans this weekend. I still need to deep clean a couple more rooms and am hoping I will be in the mood to get that done. I want to go through the kitchen cabinets and remove some stuff. I am finding since I don’t have the space and cooking isn’t easy, I am not cooking near as much as I used to. I have way too many things in the kitchen that I am not using and want to get rid of them to make some empty space. The cabinets are too crowded and it is too hard to find things.

I have a mole on my upper inner thigh that has turned ugly and sore. It is in a bad spot and I rub it when I move. I called my doctor’s office today to get an appointment to have it removed and he doesn’t have an opening until the first week of October. Not sure I can stand it that long. Does anyone know if Urgent Care can remove it? I’ll see if it calms down a bit so I can wait but if not, I may have to have something done sooner than October to it

Feeling a bit restless tonight. All I want to do is eat and I am not even hungry. There isn’t a lot of food in the house as I got rid of all my junk food. I am working hard to sit with this restlessness and not act on it. Somedays that is much easier said than done.

I watched a documentary last night about a mother and daughter that walked across the Canadian mountains. It took them six months to accomplish their walk. They had to have an airplane drop them food every six days. Wow! They did it during a very bitter cold winter. Made my Camino walk look like a day in the park. I admire people that push themselves outside their limits. Not sure how their journey managed to be filmed but it was fascinating and had beautiful scenes.

Grateful I can go out my front door again, grateful the dress project has been started, and grateful I got sleep last night.

Sophia got me up at 4:00 this morning. She needed to do her business. I got up and took her for a six block walk and then we came home. I put her outside. Roxy got me up at 7:00 for the same thing. Dang, this is getting old quick. I will take them out late tonight and see if they will sleep in a bit tomorrow.

I got sleep in short segments last night. Never did feel awake and rested today. It has not been one of my better days.

Went to Emporia around noon. I stopped at the Chiropractor’s office. There were three people in front of me. He doesn’t make appointments – it is first come, first served. It was my time to go after waiting for 20 minutes and he calls a person back that came in after me. I got up and walked out. I have been considering stopping the monthly plan anyways and that seemed to be my message from the universe that I should do so. He is no longer open on Fridays and that means I have to go on Monday when I go in for exercise unless I make a special trip to town on a different day to go. He is closed for lunch so I can’t go before exercise. Somedays I can’t make myself drive downtown after exercise. I was starting to not make it to his office weekly but was paying for it. I will pay the higher rate and go only when I need to now.

Then I went to Sutherland’s to look at deck composite boards. The first lady that helped me didn’t know much so she called someone that could help me. Unfortunately the guy wasn’t much help. I know nothing about composite and all the different choices. The displays were not laid out very user friendly and I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. I didn’t know enough to even know what to ask. I asked about pricing and he said it was all about the same. And then when I asked about a particular board he said that was much higher than he had told me they all were. I gave up and left without picking out a board.

I went to Walmart and picked up a few groceries. That went smoothly – the first of my stops of the day to do so. I came home after that.

I talked to Phil and told him about what happened at Sutherland’s. He is going to pick one out for me – I gave him a price range and color range. We shall see what I end up with.

I put myself in time out for a bit when I got home. I laid down but wasn’t able to go to sleep. Maybe tonight I will be able to go to sleep and get some good rest. Fingers crossed.

I deep cleaned the laundry room this afternoon. I have got to figure something out about the cat box. One of the cats hangs their ass over the edge of the litter box and pees in the tray below the box. All well and good except if you don’t wash the tray daily it stinks. Then they both get litter in their paws and track it all over the house. I hate going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and stepping on dirty litter. Yuck! Anyone else use a different system that works? I need solutions!!

I cleaned the storage shelves that are over the washer and dryer. When I moved in I emptied boxes and never sorted it all out. Took care of that today and got rid of things that I won’t ever use. Feels good to have finally taken care of that little project.

My mother’s cousin called to let me know the Patton family has been chosen by ESU as the Heritage Family of the Year for 2024. They are being honored at the football game September 21. We have been invited to attended the lunch before and the presentation ceremony which will be at halftime of the game. My mother’s mother was a Patton. I think they added up that the Patton family has received 24 degrees from ESU over the years. My mother and father both worked at ESU at some point in their lives. I will consider going. College football is not my scene but spending time with my extended family is.

Phil made more progress on the porch today. He has the four support posts in and is doing the foundation supports. He is going to get the composite material ordered tomorrow so it will be here when he is ready for it. We talked about steps today and I sent him a few pictures of what I like. He thinks it will be done by the end of next week. Yay!

This has been a day when I spent most of the time below neutral. I don’t like these days but they do make me appreciate the easy days more. I can feel myself starting to raise my consciousness level tonight. If I can get some good sleep tonight, I’m sure tomorrow will be an easy day for me.

Grateful this day is almost over, grateful the laundry room is cleaned, and grateful for extended family.

Sophia woke me up at 5:00 this morning. She wanted to do her first walk of the day. She did her business twice and we came home. Roxy wasn’t awake yet to go out. I put Sophia outside and I tried to go back to bed.

Roxy wanted out at 8:00 so took her on her morning walk. After I got home from that I deep cleaned the bathroom. Yikes it was dirty. One room down, six to go.

Took the dogs one by one on their noon walks. Sophia and I walked down to the river and back. Roxy didn’t want to go very far so we just walked around four blocks.

A friend came over this afternoon and I helped her fill out a tax form. Trusting it was filled out correctly and it will do what she needs it to do. Fingers crossed!

Phil poured concrete foundations for the four pillars that will hold the porch up. He went to town this afternoon and picked them up and is going to put them up tomorrow. Not sure what the next step is. While the foundation was exposed, he added some chalking and cement to the outer foundation that will be covered by the porch.

I have been watering this afternoon. It was a touch warm today and the ground really dried out. I let each cycle go about 30 – 45 minutes and then go out and move it. I won’t get all the yard watered today but it is a start. Hoping I remember to get at it again tomorrow.

I watched the debate last night. It sure helped to have set the intention to observe myself during the debate and see what, if anything, would trigger me. I didn’t fall down the rabbit hole or get upset with what was being said. Lots of lies on one side and not very complete answers to the questions from either candidate. They both kinda talked about what they wanted to talk about and ignored the question on the table. I watched a bit of the talk afterwards but that was starting to drive me a bit crazy so I turned it off.

For some reason this late afternoon I am feeling a bit anxious. I will have to slow down and figure out what my body is trying to tell me. I am tired so maybe that is all it is. Trying hard not to take a nap so I won’t be able to fall asleep early tonight. The dogs will get me up early tomorrow so I don’t want to nap now and stay up late.

Tomorrow I will probably go to Emporia to go to the Chiropractor and get some groceries. I have to go to Emporia Friday for exercise but my Chiropractor isn’t open on Friday. I have to go again on Saturday to go to a birthday lunch for Michelle. Sunday I should be able to stay home all day.

Grateful I was able to help a friend today, grateful one room in this house is completely clean, and grateful progress is being made on the porch.

Kathy and I left for the airport around 8:35 this morning. We had a smooth trip to and I had a smooth trip home. I stopped at Costco to get gas and then made a quick stop at Chipotle to have lunch. I trust Kathy will have a wonderful week with her family.

When I got home I took each dog for a walk one by one. Kathy had left her cat outside in the dog pen while we were gone. When I got back from walking Sophia the cat was in the carrier and ready to come in.

I did some watering outside this afternoon. I struggled to get the hose going without water leaking out of the connection but I got it figured out. I will do lots more watering tomorrow. Kathy worked hard to get grass planted and it will be my job to keep it alive this week while she is gone. Fingers crossed I can get it done.

I am going to attempt to watch the debate tonight. I am curious to see how long it takes me to get pissed. My goal is to stay above neutrality for as long as I can. Once I get pissed I drop below neutral and join the chaos of the USA. My job will be to remain curious not only about what is said but curious about my own reaction. We shall see what happens.

Phil had some emergencies to deal with today so wasn’t able to work on the front porch much. He is hoping to be able to do so the next three days. His goal is to have most of it done by the time Kathy gets home a week from today. That is ambitious but Phil works fast so we shall see what happens.

Last night was a hard night for me to find sleep. Sophia struggled to get settled down last night. I took her for a midnight walk and she did her business. Roxy was barking at 4:00 this morning. Unusual for them to behave that way. Trusting tonight will be a better night for them and for me.

The house feels bigger and empty with Kathy gone. I have a list of things to keep me busy this week. Trusting I will be able to get all of the stuff done. Most of it is doing some deep cleaning. It has been a hot minute since I have cleaned really good and the house needs it badly. I blame the dogs for tracking in most of the dirt. This house is not air tight and the dust seems to blow in easily.

Tomorrow someone is coming over so I can help them with a tax form. I may run to Emporia and get some groceries. I should have stopped on my way home today but I was ready to get home. If I don’t go tomorrow I will go Thursday. Friday I will go again for exercise.

Sitting in a good head space tonight although the debate hasn’t started. I will turn it off if I can’t stay above neutral. The last thing I want to do is allow myself to dip into the muck pond over something I have no control or power over. I need to stay focus on doing my inner work that allows me to stay above neutral regardless of what is happening around me.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC today, grateful Kathy gets this chance to spend time with her family, and grateful for the opportunity to practice listening tonight.

Went to exercise this afternoon. Felt good to be back at it after not going last week. My trainer had to go to the ED as she was having chest pains so a different trainer supervised my session. There was another lady in with me today. The trainer popped in and out all during the session. Oh well, by now I know what I am doing. My trainer let me know she is OK – no blood clot or pneumonia. Hoping I get to see her Friday.

More clean up work has happened on the porch today. No building has begun yet but hoping it will soon. It takes a bit to get rid of all the old material before they can start with putting in the new.

When I went to Emporia today I stopped and got a seam ripper. I plan on working on Ellexia’s dress on Wednesday and getting it done. I am seeing Michelle on Saturday and my plan is to have it done by then. Here’s hoping all goes well!

I didn’t go to the Chiropractor today. Wasn’t in the mood to drive downtown. I may go to town Wednesday or Thursday for groceries and if so I will go then. He is no longer open on Friday so I can’t wait and go when I go in for exercise Friday. I’m almost to the point of reducing how often I go. I don’t think I need weekly adjustments any more. I can’t tell afterwards that anything was done. I need to switch the type of plan I have with him next time I go in. Right now I am on a four times a month plan and if I skip a week I don’t get credit for it. No use paying for something I don’t use all the time. He has plans where you prepay for a certain number of visits that can stretch out for up to a year. That makes more sense for me right now.

Tomorrow I am taking Kathy to the airport in the morning. Nicole wasn’t free to do lunch so I will probably drop Kathy off and come back home. I can’t think of anything I need to do while I am in the big city. It will be a quick trip up and back.

Not much going on the rest of the week. I have someone coming over Wednesday so I can help them with a tax issue. Other than exercise Friday afternoon I don’t have anything else on my calendar. I will have lots of empty space with Kathy being gone.

Have been dipping below neutral a couple of times today. Not sure what is up with that but each time it happened, I was able to ground myself and pop back up. It is unrealistic to expect that I can maintain a love neutral 100% of the time. What is important is being able to catch myself when I drop below and change my reaction. Some days that is easier said than done.

Grateful to be back to exercise class today, grateful I remembered to get a seam ripper this trip to Emporia, and grateful I was able to climb back above neutral today.

This has been a relaxing day. I managed to find sleep last night and woke up feeling rested. Love when that happens.

Phil was here today using the jack hammer to get rid of the concrete steps. Most of the demolition is done on the front porch. I already love the way the house looks straighter and more open. I bet he makes good progress this week.

The dust from the jack hammer came in the house today. I’m grateful I didn’t get to the dusting before today or I would just have had to do it over again. Now I have a good excuse to put it off even longer.

Took the dogs one by one on long walks this afternoon. I have over 4, 200 steps in for today. Not quite to my goal but I’ll take it. It has been a beautiful day to be outside.

Kathy and I went to Pioneer Bluffs for a BBQ dinner and live music this evening. The dinner was excellent, we visited with some dear friends, and the music was fun. We didn’t stay for the formal concert as we were both getting tired. Kathy has to be up early tomorrow to go to work and I had peopled for one and one half hours and that was enough. Perfect weather to sit out and enjoy BBQ and friends.

My trainer let me know she will be there tomorrow so I have to go to exercise at 2:00 tomorrow afternoon. I have a couple of errands to run while I am in town. Tuesday I take Kathy to the KC airport for her flight to CT. The house will be different with Kathy gone for a week.

Before Kathy leaves she has to show me what needs to be watered in the yard while she is gone. She worked hard this week to get all the grass seed sowed before she leaves Tuesday. I don’t have her green thumb so hoping I can keep it growing while she is gone.

Sitting outside this evening has made me tired. Trusting I will be able to sleep again tonight. Life sure is easier when I get sleep!

Grateful for a delightful evening outdoors, grateful the dogs help get me moving, and grateful the porch project is well under way.

I got more sleep last night than I have been getting. I slept hard for an hour, was awake for three hours, and then was able to go back to sleep and sleep for several hours. I woke p this morning feeling almost rested.

Phil started demolition on the front porch today. I cannot longer use my front door. I’m so excited that project is finally started. I already like the look with the big, ugly pillars gone. He is going to replace it with a simpler structure. I didn’t ask him how long it will take to get it finished. It will be done when it is done. I told Kathy she timed her trip away perfectly as she will miss all the construction noise and mess.

I took Sophia on a long walk late morning. It has been a beautiful day and was a perfect day to take a long walk. Roxy declined my offer of a long walk.

I walked to a friend’s house for happy hour late afternoon. I managed to walk almost three miles today. I needed to move my body today and managed to get it done.

I made some cheese squares tonight using cottage cheese. You put cottage cheese on parchment paper and sprinkle on Everything But Bagel spice. Bake it for 30 minutes at 350. It makes a high protein snack with no sugar or flour. They are tasty but a bit too much garlic for my tastes. I will try them again and use a different spice. The video that showed me how to make them dropped them onto the paper and they stayed in shape. Mine melted and made one big blob. Not sure what I did wrong.

Tomorrow night I am planning to go to Pioneer Bluffs for a BBQ meal and a live concert. I have an extra reservation I had made for Kathy to go with me but not sure she will go. Anyone want to go with me if Kathy decides not to go?

Monday I will probably have exercise if my trainer has recovered from her latest bout with Covid. I will go to the Chiropractor afterwards. Tuesday I am taking Kathy to the airport. Her flight is around noon so we will leave around 8:30 or so. I will have critter care responsibly while she is gone for a week. The critters will miss her special attention.

I have been able to maintain above neutrality today. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to people this afternoon but am grateful I walked over and joined the small group. I felt better today than I have for a couple of days since I got some sleep.

Grateful the porch remodel project has begun, grateful for a day with lots of outside walking, and grateful for conversation with friends today.

This has been a do nothing day. I am tired and have had no energy. I didn’t fall asleep until after 4:30 this morning. I slept in a bit but woke up light-headed and foggy.

Went to Emporia late morning and got Kathy some more grass seed. While I was at Bluestem buying the grass seed I got to see Tagen for a hot minute. That made the trip to town worth it!

Stopped at Walmart to pick up a prescription and some groceries. I forgot my phone in my car and didn’t go get it – big mistake. I got halfway home and remembered I forgot to buy a seam ripper which is the main thing I went to town for. I stopped at Dollar General to see if they had one. If they do, I couldn’t find it nor a clerk to ask where it might be.

I came home and ate lunch and then took a nap. When I got up from my nap the light-headed mess was gone but I still had little to no energy.

Laid back down for a bit early evening but I don’t think I went to sleep. I will try again in a bit. The nights are sure long when I can’t sleep.

No plans for tomorrow unless I decide to go back to Emporia to get the seam ripper. Sunday evening I am going to a dinner and concert at Pioneer Bluffs. Monday I will probably have exercise if my trainer is well by then.

These are not my favorite days when I have no energy. I don’t think I have stayed above neutral all day. It is hard for me to know where I am on the scale on days like this. I am seriously getting sleep deprived and it is effecting my lifestyle. And this too shall pass…..

Grateful to get to see Tagen today, grateful for the notes app on my phone – it works when I remember to take my phone, and grateful that not every day is like today.

I got up early for me this morning after not sleeping much again last night. I took a second hot bath around 2:30 and was able to get a bit of sleep after that but was awake again at 4:30 and only slept on and off until the alarm went off. Dang, this is getting old again.

I went to a friend’s house and helped do some packing. I cleaned out two big closets and packed the contents. They loaded up the back of a pickup and the back of a car with the boxes I filled plus others from another closet in the house. Progress is being made but there is more to do. I remember the last few boxes of my move. I just wished I had a magic wand and could have made them go away.

After we were done we went to the Grand in CWF for lunch. It was nice to sit and visit with my dear friend. I appreciated her treating me to lunch.

I came home after lunch and attempted to take a nap. I probably got 30 minutes of sleep which helped knock the rough edge off but I am still tired. Maybe tonight will be the night that I crash and sleep the clock around. I was a bit lightheaded this morning but after my nap that went away. Probably my body’s way of telling me I need more sleep. Wish I could make that happen.

My trainer let me know she is still down with Covid so I don’t have to go to exercise tomorrow. I do need a couple things from town so will go to town at some point tomorrow. I have a prescription that needs picked up, Kathy is out of grass seed and I need a seam ripper so I can finish Ellexia’s dress. It will be nice to be able to go to town when I want to and not have to work in an exercise session around my errands.

Sophia is struggling a bit. She freezes up sometimes and acts like she doesn’t know how to walk. She has fallen over a couple of times. I need to make an appointment with her Vet and see if they can figure anything out. It isn’t constant or consistently happening so not sure if there is anything wrong or not. She just is acting different somehow but not sure I can fully explain it.

No plans for Saturday. Sunday evening I am going to Pioneer Bluffs for a BBQ dinner and concert. It is to be in the low 80’s Sunday and clear so should be a beautiful evening to sit outside and enjoy live music.

Don’t have much on the calendar next week. I am taking Kathy to the airport Tuesday as she is flying to CT for her son’s wedding. She will be gone a week so I will have solo critter care. The critters will really miss Kathy and the special attention she gives them.

Felt good to be in service today. Sometimes I need a day where I can actually say I got something done. Old habits die hard! I was able to maintain at or above neutral today. Didn’t feel the best this morning but I made it through. I took a break and took care of myself at one point. Wish I knew what caused the lightheaded feelings I get sometimes. My body is still a mystery to me sometimes.

Grateful to get to see my friends today, grateful for a short nap this afternoon and grateful I have a free day tomorrow.

Another hard night to find sleep. This is getting old again. Wow, I wish I could figure sleep out.

Took Ellexia’s dress to a dear friend to get advice on how to hem it. Discover it has a slit in it and that is why I was confused initially. I am going to pen it really good and then have Ellexia try it on to see if she wants me to put the slit in it. It may or may not need one.

Haven’t done much else today. I did do two loads of laundry. I have them folded but not put away yet.

The dogs woke me up early as they wanted to do their business. I took them one by one on an eight block walk and both did their thing. I tried to go back to sleep but didn’t make it. I got a text and a phone call both times I almost fell asleep. Finally decided it was not meant for me to sleep more and got up.

A neighbor told Kathy today that her daughter is an ICU nurse. The medical staff at the hospital her daughter works at are spraying their nostrils with a 1% iodine solution to help prevent Covid. I found some on Amazon and ordered us each a bottle to try. Anyone else trying this? Worth a try to do whenever I leave the house.

Tomorrow I am going to help a friend do some packing. That will be fun. I enjoy her company and it will be something for me to do. We are going to go to lunch afterwards which will be a treat too.

Friday I may go to town for exercise. My trainer has Covid and a not sure yet if she will feel like working Friday. I’m not sure when she was diagnosed. When I had it I had to be out one week from the last day of fever but not sure if that still applies and if it applies to the trainer.

Starting to get the urge to find something to put on my calendar on a regular basis. I need to have a few more productive days each week. I love my empty space time and staying home but I need to find a better balance. Right now I am tipped too far into isolation.

Sitting in a good head space place today. It is easy to keep above neutral when I don’t interact much with the world. I do feel the darkness coming. We are getting less sunlight each day and I am really noticing the difference now. This is the time of year I go inward and do some deep inner work. It will be interesting to see how this year’s inner journey plays out for me. I keep reminding myself it doesn’t have to be hard to let go and I don’t have to have a story about what is going on. Allowing and being with what ever arises to be heard is the point.

Grateful for a friend’s help with advice today, grateful for nice walks on a cool morning with the dogs this morning, and grateful for the sleep I will be getting tonight.

Sleep was very hard to find last night. Finally feel asleep around 6:00 this morning. Got a text from my trainer around 7:30. Fell back asleep but only for an hour or so. Maybe tonight will be the night that I find sleep.

My trainer has Covid. I’m so grateful I called in sick last Friday. When I called her she said she wasn’t feeling very good so was grateful I had canceled. Not sure when she tested positive but may have been contagious last Friday. The Universe had my back on that one!

I went to Emporia early afternoon. I needed to get thread to hem Ellexia’s homecoming dress and a new leash. Got those things and then took my car through the car wash. Went to the Chiropractor and got adjusted. My timing was good at the Chiropractor’s office as there was no one ahead of me.

Came home and got Ellexia’s dress pinned. Now I have to get brave and cut the extra off the bottom of it. It has a lining so will have to line it too. I will double check my measurements tomorrow and cut it.

Took Sophia on a walk this evening. So far Roxy has declined my offer of a walk. I put Sophia back in her pen outside when we were done. She does better if she stays outside for the evening time.

Kathy reported she had an animal party in her room this morning around 3:00. Kathy had opened her windows so had closed her bedroom door. She got up to go to the bathroom at 3:00 and both dogs and both cats came in her room. They woke her up after a bit to get back out again. It is an animal house around here sometimes.

We had another beautiful fall like day today. It is to warm back up next week and reach the 90’s again. Grateful for the early taste of fall. It is my favorite time of the year.

No plans for tomorrow since I don’t have to go to town for exercise. I will make that a stay at home today since I went to town today. Thursday I am going to help a friend with some packing and then Friday I may go to town for exercise depending on how my trainer’s recovery is going. Sunday I have tickets for a dinner and concert at Pioneer Bluffs in the evening.

Sitting in a good head space today. I’m physically tired but mentally doing OK. I was able to stay above neutral all day and that is always a good day when I can do that. Trusting I will find sleep tonight and feel rested when I get up tomorrow morning.

Grateful to get my errands taken care of today, grateful the Universe nudged me to not go to exercise last Friday, and grateful the hemming project has gotten started.

It has been another stay at home day. I had a nice long phone conversation with Jason and Michelle and Ellexia came by to drop off Ellexia’s homecoming dress so I can hem it. It is always a good day when I talk or get to see my kids.

Ellexia’s dress has a lining so it will be double hemming. I will get some thread that matches when I go to town Wednesday for exercise. I haven’t hemmed a dress in a long time – trusting I will remember how to do it. Her dress is really cute on her and I trust I won’t harm it.

I didn’t do much today other than walk the dogs a couple times. Sophia got anxious to get out this evening and then didn’t do anything. It was hard to walk her today as she just wanted to smell everything and try to eat everything.

Tomorrow looks to be another stay at home day for me. Not sure I have much that needs to be done so it will be another quiet day.

I am watching Call the Midwife tonight. What a wonderful series it is. I had forgotten the new series had been released. I may pull a late nighter and watch more of them. I love how they deal with sensitive issues with such compassion and care. Wish the rest of the world would respond like that.

Sitting in a good head space today. The day didn’t drag like yesterday and I have felt like I have been above neutral all day. It feels like it has been a bit since I had a day like this. Always grateful when they show up.

Grateful for this beautiful fall day, grateful for a day I got to spend some time with two of my kids and grateful Ellexia trusted me to hem her dress.

What a beautiful fall like day. So grateful for the break in the temperatures. I can smell fall coming!

This has been a stay at home day for me. I got three loads of laundry washed, dried and folded. Even got fresh sheets put on my bed. Somedays I can’t make myself fold my clothes so always grateful when I can get that done. It will be nice to climb in a fresh bed tonight.

Haven’t done much else today. This day has felt like it has lasted three days long. Not sure why time went so slow today, it usually doesn’t do that. I have a bit of anxiety in my background today. Not sure what it is trying to tell me.

Wrote the checks to pay the estimated tax liability on the sale of my house and the rental houses. Ouch! Sure wish I could designate when I pay my taxes how I would like the money to be spent. Wonder how other people would designate their money if that was an option?

No plans for tomorrow other than another stay at home day. I may get a third one on Tuesday as I don’t have anything on my calendar that day either. I may be looking for something to do by then!

Sitting with my anxiety tonight waiting for it to tell me what I need to know. It feels a bit like the in between feeling when things are unsettled but nothing to do. I must need more practice allowing. Maybe I will reread Pema Chodron’s book “Comfortable with Uncertainty”. Her writings always put me back right with the world.

Grateful for teachers like Pema that remind me life is full of change, grateful for this beautiful day, and grateful for a stay at home day.

August went by in a hot minute. Can’t believe it is September tomorrow. The last half of this year is flying by.

I went to Emporia late morning. I needed some groceries. Since I didn’t go to town yesterday I had to go today to get them. I also stopped and got the new car washed and enrolled in the club. I try to remember to go through the car wash every time I am in Emporia. It didn’t do a very good job today but it should do better next time. If I remember to go through a couple times a week the car stays pretty clean.

While I was in town today I got some new pajamas. The ones I have been wearing are about six years old and I noticed the other day they are starting to get holes in them. I found some today I liked so picked some up. After six years it was time!

A friend of a friend is going to be walking the Camino starting mid September. She had some questions and called me today. We had a lovely conversation. She has not booked her rooms in advance and is hoping to be able to make reservations the day before on the fly. I sure wouldn’t want to do that but I think she is on a budget and thinks it will be cheaper this way. I loved knowing I had a room and dinner and breakfast every night without worry.

This afternoon I reread my blog from the days on the trail. What an adventure that was. So many life lessons learned and experienced. It was by far the best thing I ever did for myself.

Ellexia texted me today. She got her homecoming dress but it needs hemmed. I told her I would try to do it and if I couldn’t I would check with some friends of mine that are excellent seamstress to see if they could help me out. Not sure when she is going to bring it to me. Homecoming isn’t until the end of the month but I am hoping she will bring it sooner rather than last minute.

I was surprised I slept last night. I had slept most of yesterday. I was able to sleep most of last night too. Not sure why I crashed so hard yesterday but am feeling much better today. Sometimes my sleep deficit catches up to me and my body says SLEEP. Grateful I didn’t have much on my calendar yesterday and I could honor what my body needed.

No plans tomorrow or Monday. They will probably be stay at home days. I always have housework that needs to be done if the mood strikes and I want to do something. The weather is to be nice so I will probably get out and take each dog for a long walk at some point.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. Reading the blog about my journey put a smile on my face. I still don’t think I have fully accepted the fact that I walked 500 miles over mountains, the plains and more mountains. I ended the trip with a week in Paris with my sister. Hard to top that adventure again in this life time.

Grateful for my blog and the memories it holds for me, grateful my groceries are restocked, and grateful for this beautiful fall like weather.

This has been a non productive day for me. Had trouble finding sleep last night. Finally took some restless legs PM and some Tylenol PM around 4:30 this morning. I slept in this morning and have never felt like I got woke up.

I took the dogs for walks when I got up. It was a hard walking this morning for me. I had no energy and was dragging the whole way.

Came home and ate breakfast. Texted my trainer and told her I wouldn’t be in today and I went back to bed. Slept for a couple more hours. Still felt tired when I woke up.

A friend had a happy hour at 4:00 and I went to that. We sat outside and enjoyed conversation and adult beverages. It was a beautiful day here today with highs in the upper 70’s. We got some rain overnight and it was sprinkling when I walked the dogs this morning.

I took the dogs on another walk this evening. Sophia went for a long walk but Roxy declined my offer of a walk and wanted to come inside.

No plans for the holiday weekend. I didn’t make it to Emporia today and may go in one day this weekend to get some groceries and get my new car washed. Other than that I plan to stay home all weekend.

Don’t have much on my calendar for next week. I will go to Emporia for exercise on Wednesday and Friday due to the holiday on Monday.

Trusting I will have more energy tomorrow. My body must have needed a complete rest day today as it hasn’t allowed me to do much today. Grateful I have the privilege to honor that and didn’t have to do anything today.

The couple I have helped with their taxes before got hold of me today. They had received another letter they needed help figuring out how to respond to. Trusting we are getting close to getting their tax situation resolved. Sometimes the process is hard to navigate and deal with.

Feeling like I am barely at neutral if there today. No real reason for me to be so depleted today and so tired. Trusting this will pass quickly and is not the sign of something amiss. Been a bit light headed and achy today too. And this too shall pass…..

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful the dogs get me out to walk, and grateful for the extra sleep I got this afternoon.

Busy day around here today. Kathy and I hit the road at 10:15 to go to Wichita so Kathy could turn her leased vehicle in and I could go to Subaru school.

I stopped at Costco as I got to Wichita early and had time to take care of that before my noon appointment. I got several cases of water and two other things. The line to check out was long but went fairly quickly.

By the time I got to the Subaru dealership Kathy was almost done turning her car in. They made it very easy for her and didn’t even inspect the car before she left.

The lady that taught me about my new car was good. She listened well and didn’t over explain things. I am now able to use Maps on my iPhone and have it show up on the car. The new car has a GPS but I find it hard to use. She showed me how to adjust the steering wheel and what some buttons and gadgets were for.

The only thing that didn’t get resolved was how to turn on the beep when the cruise control automatically slows me down. What she showed me didn’t work. I will have to get the manual out and see if I can figure that out myself. I got a $25 gift card to Quick Trip for coming in today. Wonder where the nearest Quick Trip is?

We went to Chipotle for lunch after we were done at the dealership. Chipotle is one of my favorite places to eat and I rarely miss a chance to stop and eat there when I am in the neighborhood.

When we got home I cleaned out my old Forester and turned it over to Kathy. Found a bunch of keys in it that I have no idea where they go. Found some other things I had forgotten were in the car. It will be fun to start driving my new car now.

Next time I go to Emporia I will need to stop at the car wash and add the new car to my bill. The new car is seriously in need of a wash as it has been sitting out and what rain we have gotten has made it wet enough that the dust has settled in on the car.

Got the water bill for the month of August. It was about $50 higher than normal due to the watering of the new grass seed. The seed is sprouting and growing so it was worth it. One time at the country house grass seed was planted and lots of water put on it but nothing happened. At least this time there is something to show what the water was used for. How long do you have to continue to water every day once the grass is up and is two inches long?

We have a good chance for some rain either this evening or in the morning. This heat wave is to break overnight and temperatures will only be in the upper 70’s to lower 80’s for the rest of the week. That sounds like heaven. Maybe this is the last heat wave of the summer. September can be cruel and get hot again so we shall see what happens.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise and to go to the Chiropractor. I need to remember to stop by the car wash and get the new car on the program. I don’t think I have any other errands to take care of as I bought groceries Monday when I was in town.

No plans for the holiday weekend. Not sure if I will have exercise on Monday or not. Last holiday we went ahead and met. Makes no real difference to me. Everyday is a holiday when I am retired.

Sitting in a good head space today. The fog and darkness I had been in for the last week or so seems to have lifted today. Grateful for that! I have learned that when it comes, the best thing I can do is attempt to befriend it and allow it to be and not rush it to leave. I don’t enjoy that process but if I can soften my resistance to it and allow it to be, it goes away much quicker than if I resist it.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from Wichita, grateful to have learned more about my new car, and grateful for the cool down that is to happen overnight.

I managed another stay at home day. It does my soul good to stay home for a couple days in a row. I didn’t get much done but don’t have a lot that needs done right now.

It was another hot one today. I did walk the dogs a couple of times. I’m a bit worried about Sophia. She isn’t pooing like she did before. She is only going a little bit each day. Usually she goes two or three times a day and big ones each time. Not sure what is going on. I will keep an eye on her and look for other symptoms and take her in if needed.

Kathy did some more grass seeding today. She is really getting the yard in good shape. I’m so grateful she likes doing that type of thing – not my thing. She is mowing today too. Way too hot for me to mow.

Tomorrow we are going to Wichita. Kathy is turning her car in as she has leased it from Subaru for several years. I am going to meet with the lady that can help me understand how to work some things on the new car. Kathy will be driving my red Forester starting tomorrow and I will start driving the new white one all the time.

Not sure if I have any other errands to run while I am in Wichita or not. I may stop at Costco as it is close to the Subaru dealership. I need a couple cases of water and theirs is the cheapest around. Not worth driving that far just to save a bit on water but since I am there I might as well take advantage of it.

Friday I have to go to Emporia for exercise and to go to the Chiropractor. I don’t think I have other errands to run while I am in town but something may come up between now and then. We don’t have any plans for the holiday weekend. Everyday feels like a holiday when you are retired!

I am in a little better space mentally today. Now that I understand what my restlessness was from I can deal with it better. I am allowing some old emotion to arise and release. I have been catching myself ruminating today and keep stopping myself and telling myself to change the thought channel. I’m grateful I am on the other side of all of that now and life is much easier for me.

Grateful for another stay at home day, grateful for the yard work Kathy does, and grateful I made the decision I made two years ago.

I spent a quiet day at home. Didn’t do much of anything today other than walking the dogs. It was nice to have a stay at home day during the week.

I did figure out what is going on within. It was this time two years ago that things were becoming obvious to me that something was very wrong in my relationship with Jim. I think my body memory is reminding me of that very hard time. At this point two years ago, I was beginning to admit to myself that things were amiss but I hadn’t yet figured out what was wrong and what to do about it.

I was unable to come up for air and get above neutral. I knew it wasn’t depression but something else was going on. I was falling down a deep rabbit hole that seemed to have no bottom. When my central nervous system is dis regulated for a long time, it is hard to think rationally.

One of my issues back then, was my overly developed sense of responsibility and feeling like something must be very wrong with me. It remains hard for me to think another person is part of the problem before I examine my own behavior first. I have developed a better sense of personal boundaries now and don’t carry the load so often. I am still a work in progress though.

Life is funny sometimes. The universe had to get my attention using a hard wallop. I had overlooked the subtle signs it had been sending me. I have learned some of my best life lessons through this process though. I do my best to keep myself above neutral so my central nervous system is regulated so I can make the best decision at the time. When I am above neutral, I can also remember my personal boundaries and not allow someone else to dump their issues on me.

I laugh at the timing of all of this going down when it did. From summer solstice to winter solstice is when shadow work is most obvious. I don’t think it was a coincidence that this all went down during that time frame. Man, I had some deep shadow work I needed to do. I will continue to use this time to clear out even more remnants of what needed cleared.

As far as I know, I get to stay home again tomorrow. Now that I have figured out what is going on internally, I may be able to get somethings done now. I have needed some quiet days to process and discover what was behind these intense feelings I have had the last couple of days. I am always grateful for insights into my inner beingness.

Grateful for a stay at home day, grateful for life lessons, and grateful for the helpers and teachers I have had that held space for me.

It has been a better day today than yesterday was. I still don’t have lots of extra energy but I did manage to get some things done today.

I did a bit of housework this morning. I had made a mess on the living room rug and needed to get it vacuumed. I sure like the new vacuum as it cleans it up with only one or two passes. The other one took ten or twelve to pick up all the dog hair.

I took the dogs each on a long walk this morning before it got too hot. They both had their tongues hanging by the time we got home.

I went to Emporia early for exercise so I could do a couple of errands. I needed to pick up a bundle of the floor planking left over from when they did Tagen’s room. It is nice to have on hand in case the floor ever needs to be pulled up or repaired.

I went through the car wash. The bits of rain we had over the weekend made my car really dirty. It would sprinkle just enough to get the car wet and then the dust would stick.

Stopped by Michelle’s house to drop off the planking and some left over Coke from last week. Neither Kathy or I drink Coke and I wanted it out of my way.

Went to exercise. This was not one of my favorite videos today. The lady that leads them talks too much. We did leg lifts and my hip hurts afterwards. Oh well, I stuck with it and got them done.

Stopped by Walmart afterwards and picked up a few groceries. I didn’t need much this week. Came home and got everything put away.

Sat down in my chair when I got home from town and fell asleep. It was a nice way to spend a hot afternoon. My car thermometer said it was 108 when I came out of exercise. Too hot for beast or man.

No plans for tomorrow or Wednesday. I think we are going to Wichita on Thursday so Kathy can turn her car in and I can talk to the Subaru lady and get some answers to some questions I have about the new car. Friday I have to go back to Emporia for exercise.

I sure hope this is summer’s last blast of heat. Kathy is trying hard to get some new grass growing. She has been watering it several times a day. Some of it is sprouting nicely and the rest of it should be sprouting within a day or two. We still have a huge area in the yard to seed but wanted to try this little area around the new sidewalks first to see what happens. I’ll have to get lots more grass seed to do the next part.

Able to bounce back up above neutral today. Still haven’t figured out why yesterday was hard but am grateful whatever was pulling me down is gone. I do need to start finding some things to fill some of my empty space. Too much of it is not good for me.

Grateful for a better day today, grateful some errands got taken care of today, and grateful for a hot afternoon nap.

I slept the clock around last night. It was good to get sleep but as usual when that happens I feel like I never woke up completely today.

This has been a hard day for me. Can’t put my finger on why. Nothing happened to cause it to be hard, just didn’t have much energy and anything I did try to do was hard to accomplish. I quit trying to do anything and rested most of the day.

The dogs had trouble settling down this evening. Ummm…. Wonder what is going on I can’t see? Anyone else feeling it today?

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. I have a couple of errands to run while I am in town. I don’t think I have to go back to Emporia until Friday. I don’t have anything on my calendar for Tuesday though Thursday so may get a couple of stay at home days. That will be nice.

Trusting tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe whatever is going on will settle down by then and things will be easy again. Some days are hard and some days are easy. Gotta deal with both sides of the coin. Keeps life interesting!

Grateful this day is almost over, grateful I had the privilege of doing nothing today, and grateful tomorrow will be a better day.

Finally! A stay at home day. I have enjoyed this day doing not much of anything. Occasionally I will get up and take care of some little thing but there has been no pressure or rush to the day. My favorite type of day!

It has turned hot again. I walked down to get the mail and decided I didn’t want to spend any more time outside today. I’m grateful this heat of summer is almost over. I don’t do well in the heat these days.

Yesterday I had to dump out my death doula box of papers as I was looking for something and couldn’t find it. I spent some time today cleaning that out and putting things in better order. It drives me nuts when I can’t easily put my hands on what I am looking for. Not sure how that box got so disorganized but am grateful it is back in order now.

Spent some time reading again all the birthday wishes people left me on Facebook. I attempted to respond to each of them but will need to go back through them one more time to make sure I didn’t miss one. I spent a minute and remembered something about each of the people that wrote me. Felt like a walk down memory lane. Many of the people I haven’t seen for way too long but it is nice to stay in touch via social media. Better than nothing, I guess.

No plans for tomorrow either. My to do list is almost complete. I have some thank you notes to write and a letter or two that I want to write and mail. One of these days I want to go back through the porch pantry and get rid of more things from there. I feel like I have been in this house long enough now to know what I will be using and what I can part with. The trick to living in a small space is to only have what you use. Extra just in case stuff causes too much frustration and needs to go.

I think Kathy and I are going to Wichita one day next week to turn her car in. I will need to get out and clean out my old car and transfer things to the new one. While we are at the car dealership I will talk to the lady that is an expert on how all the controls work. I have a few questions for her as I don’t know how to work a couple things on the new car. I still haven’t driven it much so not sure my list is complete but I will get answers to the ones I have so far and will go back if other things come up.

It is almost time to start thinking about our Fall Equinox ceremony. Still haven’t decided what the topic will be this time. We have a new person that is interested in coming if she can work it in her schedule. I am getting the urge to get a special class going – just have to decide on the topic. It is time for me to start doing my work again. I had to take a break to get the move behind me and it is feeling like that project is complete. I have lots of free time so time to put it to good use.

Quiet days like this are good for my soul. I feel myself slowing down and the chatter in my mind gets quieter. I now understand why I struggled years ago to maintain at or above neutral level. I never allowed myself to “be” long enough to get quiet. These days I don’t think I would last very long unless I did. Sometimes I wish I had learned that a long time ago – better late than never.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for all those that help make this birthday special, and grateful for the potential ahead.

Had another night of little sleep. I got out of bed at 2:00, tried to sleep again at 4:00 but no luck. Finally fell asleep around 6:00. Man, that makes for a long night when that happens.

A dear friend took me out for lunch for my birthday. It is always a good day when I get to have a deep conversation with one of my gang. Thanks! I enjoyed lunch and the conversation.

Came home from lunch and got a text from my trainer. She was sick today and had to cancel our session. That meant I didn’t have to go to Emporia today. Yeah! That felt like another birthday present.

I took a long nap instead of exercising today. It did my body good! I will take sleep wherever I can find it these days. I woke up hard though and it took me a bit to get going again.

I got a few things on my to do list done today. Still have some things that I will take care of tomorrow. Nothing on the list was urgent so it is easy to put it off.

Tonight I went to the old school and enjoyed a concert outdoors put on by Weda Skirts. I love their music and the weather was delightful to sit out and enjoy live music. Several of my dear friends were there and it was a beautiful evening under the stars. Makes me wish I had a camper and went to Winfield for the Bluegrass Festival there in September.

No plans for this weekend. I am hoping to have two stay at home days. I have a few little things to take care of but otherwise I will get to kick back and enjoy staying home. It is to warm up this weekend so will be a good weekend to stay inside.

So far next week looks to be a quiet week. I do need to schedule a trip to Wichita to go to the Subaru dealership and find out some things about my new car. If the week stays quiet, I will get a trip scheduled for later next week.

I got the papers back from my attorney confirming the deed to this house has been transferred out of the LLC and into my name. Grateful that project is completed and I can cross something off my pending list. I got the check in the mail to pay the attorney for doing that task for me.

A friend needed something notarized tonight. That was the first thing I have gotten to notarize. Trusting I remembered how to do it correctly. It has been a hot minute since I learned how to do it properly. I need to remember to put a reminder on my calendar to get my license renewed next summer.

The court house called and let me know the jury trial that I had been called to serve as a juror has been cancelled so I don’t have to think about that in September. This is the fourth time I have been called to serve in Chase County and haven’t had to show up even once yet. I wasn’t to serve until September 5 and am grateful they let me know well in advance that I don’t have to worry about it.

My dear friend from CA that I met on the Camino called to wish me a happy birthday today. It was good to hear from her and catch up on all the things she does. It was nine years ago this week that I began my 500 mile walk across Spain. Every year I pull out my blog from that journey and reread it. Still have trouble knowing that I actually walked 500 miles alone. It was one of the best things I have ever done.

This has been a great birthday week. I still haven’t taken time to respond to all the Facebook greetings. I will try to get that done tomorrow. I got a birthday card from someone that lives in Cottonwood Falls today and I don’t know who the person is. I have heard their name but I don’t think I have ever met them. Sweet of them to send one to me.

Grateful to get to hear live music this evening, grateful for lunch with a dear friend, and grateful for a long afternoon nap.

I had a wonderful time at the gathering Kathy planned for me last night. Six of our dear friends came over for birthday cake and other yummy food. We had a great time visiting and catching up with each other.

Got up early this morning so I could be out of the house by 7:30 to go help some friends move. I took each of the dogs on a walk so they could do their morning business. It was a delightfully cool morning and it felt good to get out and walk for a mile this morning.

I loaded up my car and left the house a little after 7:30. Some dear friends moved today and I went to lend some moral support. I packed up their kitchen while the moving guys were loading the truck. The moving guys were able to take the boxes I filled and got those moved.

I took stuff for lunch for the moving crew and the helpers. I also took a cooler of cold drinks. Both of those were things I wished I had thought to do on my moving day.

I went to their new house in Council Grove and helped carry in the stuff they wanted hand carried. One truck was empty by the time I left and the second truck was well on its way of getting emptied. I feel bad for my friends and all the work they have ahead of them. I remember well being in that place a couple months ago. It is hard work to move!

I stopped at a gas station to fill my car with gas. My debit card got stuck in their machine. They managed to get it out but it didn’t work when I tried it again. I drove across the lane to go to another gas station. The first time I tried my card it didn’t work. I had to go inside and even inside they had trouble getting it to work. I finally was able to fill my car up and head for home. Not sure what was up with all that. I need to request a new debit card as this one seems to not work about half the time. I have worn it out.

Got home and put away the left over lunch stuff. I still need to empty out the cooler with the left over drinks. I sure could take a nap this afternoon. I am tired again. I didn’t sleep well again last night. Maybe tonight is the night I will sleep good.

I still need to gather up the trash in the house and take it to the curb. Then I have a couple of folding chairs that need hauled to the shed. I still need to clean up a bit from the party last night too. Maybe once I get those little things taken care of I can relax and take a short nap.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia at 2:00 for exercise. A friend is treating me to lunch tomorrow before I go into exercise. That will be fun. I have a couple of errands to run in Emporia before I come home. Tomorrow night a favorite music group is playing a concert at the old school here in Cottonwood Falls so plan on walking down to that.

Hoping I can stay home this weekend and get a couple of stay at home days. I need one or two. This has turned into a fairly busy week and I need some quiet time.

So far next week looks much quieter. We shall see if that happens. Sometimes my weeks start out quiet and get filled up fast. I am overdue for a quiet week.

It felt good to be in service to someone today. We had fun working together and lending a hand. It is hard to imagine doing something like that without the help of friends and family. Somehow it feels less like work when others pitch in and help out.

We opened the windows in the house today as it only is to reach the low 80’s today. It is to warm up this weekend but it sure felt good for one day to have fresh air coming in. August has had several unseasonably cool days. I will take those any day! So looking forward to fall and sweater weather but am not looking forward to winter.

Grateful my move is over and the hard work is behind me, grateful to have been in service to others today and grateful for this beautiful cool day.

The flooring guy that laid the new floor at Michelle’s house called me at 9:00 this morning to tell me he was almost done. I headed into town so I could pay him. He did the whole floor in under three hours. It sure looks nice.

I didn’t have anything else to do in town so came back home. I had trouble waking up this morning and finally decided to go back to bed and take a nap. Things felt hard this morning and sometimes it is best to put myself in time-out for the safety of myself and those around me.

Kathy invited some of our dear friends over for a birthday celebration this evening. We had a great time visiting with them. We enjoyed an ice cream birthday cake and snacks and wine. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Tomorrow I am going to help a friend move. I was just there and know how hard that day will be for them. Trusting I can lighten their load a tad bit.

Friday I am going to lunch with a friend and then going to Emporia for exercise. A local group is doing a fundraiser concert Friday night that I plan on going to. I don’t think I have any plans for the weekend. Hoping I can have two stay at home days. Those seem to be hard for me to find these days.

It has been fun checking Facebook off and on today and reading all the birthday greetings. That is one of my favorite things about Facebook. It will take me a bit to respond to all the greetings but each one was much appreciated and read.

Feeling very grateful for the privilege of being on earth with the people I love and know. Each birthday feels like a celebration of surviving all of life’s challenges for one more year. I no longer take that for granted.

Grateful for all who wished me a happy birthday this year, grateful the flooring project is complete, and grateful for one more year on this earth this time around.

Kathy and I did a drive last night to catch the super moon rising. We went to the Prairie Preserve but didn’t have a good enough east view. We then went to V Rd and 210. There was a haze on the horizon so didn’t get to see lift off but got to see it shortly afterwards. I climbed up through the sun roof to watch it.

It was a beautiful evening to go outside and watch the moon rising. The only thing I miss about the country house is the views.

Roxy had a rough night last night and had trouble settling down. She wanted to go outside about five different times. She didn’t do anything when she went out. I finally took her out to her pen around 11:00. Then Sophia wanted to go out with Roxy. They were quiet for a long time but around midnight started barking so I had to bring them back in.

I left for KC a little after 9:00 this morning. Traffic was light and I made good time. I stopped at Costco to get a new vacuum. The dog hair is driving me crazy. As usual, I found other things I didn’t know I needed.

Met two dear friends for lunch. It had been a long time since we had met together. It was good to catch up with each other and visit. Did my soul good.

I went to my attorney’s office at 1:30. I signed two papers and was out of there by 1:35. Headed home. I stopped for gas in Gardner and then stopped at Tagen’s house to check his room. Came home after that.

Kathy helped me get the new vacuum put together. They use pictures as directions and it took a bit to figure it out. We tried it and was disappointed with it. Then Kathy took it in her room to see what it would do on that carpet. When she tried it again on the red rug it worked perfectly. Not sure why or what happened to make it start working right but am grateful it did.

It has a lot of plastic parts so am not sure how long it will last. It is a Dyson and was one of the better rated vacuums for pet hair. We shall see how this works.

I turn 71 tomorrow. I always think of Mom on my birthday and wonder what her labor was like when I was born. One of the many questions I wished I had asked her! Kathy invited some friends over tomorrow evening to help me celebrate. I am looking forward to that.

I drove the new car to KC today. I have a list of things I need to ask the lady that will explain how the car works to me sometime soon. I need to make an appointment with her and go back to Wichita to figure a few things out. The lady has sent me about five texts trying to get me to come see her. I hadn’t driven the car enough to have any questions for her until today. I’ll try to get that taken care of one day next week.

Kathy and I took the dogs on their walk this evening. I started out with Roxy and went west. Roxy spotted Kathy getting Sophia and heading north and Roxy had to turn around and walk the same direction as Kathy and Sophia. Roxy is giving me a run for my money these days.

I may go help some friends tomorrow but am not sure yet. If not, I will have a quiet day at home. The flooring is being laid in Tagen’s room tomorrow so may have to go to town to pay him. Not sure how he bills.

It felt good to get the deed transfer crossed off my pending list. The flooring in Tagen’s room will get crossed off tomorrow if things go as planned. Kathy got some grass seed planted today so that little project is started. Most everything else on my pending list is waiting for someone else to do something to make it happen.

I was reminded again today how important it is to my soul to regularly schedule time with dear friends and family. I have been self isolating too much lately and need to rejoin the world.

Grateful for time with dear friends today, grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, and grateful the deed transfer is taken care of.

Got up and walked the dogs one by one for their morning potty walk. Took Sophia downtown and stopped at the gas station to ask for a recommendation of someone that could fix my lawn mower. BJ offered to come by the house and check it out for me later today. That was easy!

I called the contractor that might be able to fix the foundation at Michelle’s house. He isn’t sure when he will be able to go look at it but said he will put it on his list. I’ll have to remember to get back in touch with him after a few weeks to remind him if necessary.

My license plate came in for my new car today. I couldn’t find my Philips screwdriver to help me attach it to the car. I have a power drill and bit set so Kathy helped me figure that out and we got the new plate attached. Grateful for Kathy’s help and proud we were able to get that job done.

I also called and made my annual appointment with my eye doctor who is a retina specialist in Topeka. For some reason his office can’t book out ahead longer than four months so I have to remember to call every year to get my annual appointment. I will go to see him in November.

I went to town for my 2:00 exercise lesson. Did my 50 minutes and then went downtown. I stopped at the Chiropractor for my weekly adjustment. Went to the library to drop off eight boxes of books for the Friends of the Library. I went in the library as the friend’s building was closed. I asked for a cart so I could easily get all the boxes inside. There wasn’t a cart available so they had me drive around to their back door.

When I got to the back door someone came out and said they didn’t have a free cart so they were going to meet me at the Friends building. I drove there and someone came and helped me carry in the boxes.

Then I went to Bluestem to get grass seed and a Phillips screwdriver. I couldn’t find the screwdrivers so I asked for help. The young man that helped me talked over my head when I told him I needed a Philips screwdriver. He was telling me all the differences of all the different screwdrivers they had and I had no idea what he was saying. I don’t talk screwdriver. I found a set that seemed OK. Then I asked him for a star screwdriver. I didn’t want one that you had to put a head in the screwdriver as I tend to lose the parts. Turns out there are two or more different size star heads. Who knew? Dang, that wasn’t easy.

Went to Walmart and got some things for a lunch I am fixing later this week. Came home afterwards.

Stopped by the gas station to pay for the lawnmower repair. Found out that the problem was water had gotten in the gas can I used to fill the mower. When BJ came to fix the mower he couldn’t get it started here so he took it to the shop. He also took my gas can with him. He dumped out the gas can and was letting it dry before he put gas back in it. He told me so far I only owed $0.58 unless I wanted him to fill up the gas can. He didn’t charge me for his labor. I will go back Wednesday and pick up the gas can and will make sure I have some cash on me so I can tip him good. What a delightful thing it is to have Dieker’s in town and provide such good service.

When I got home Kathy had already finished mowing the yard. That was easy – at least for me!

So far it is clear out today so will go to the Prairie Preserve later today to watch the super moon rise this evening. It isn’t so hot out today so it will be a good evening to be outside.

Tomorrow I am going to KC for lunch with some friends and then going to my attorney’s office to sign some papers. That will be a long day but a fun day as I will get to spend time with two dear friends. I need to remember to stop by Michelle’s house when I come back through Emporia to make sure Tagen’s room is ready for new flooring on Wednesday.

Wednesday is my birthday and Kathy has invited some of our friends to come over for a little get together. That will be fun. Thursday I am helping some dear friends move. Friday I have to go back to Emporia for exercise. This week has gotten busy for me.

It has felt like a productive day getting lots of little things taken care of. Who knew figuring out which Philips screwdriver to buy would be the challenge of the day! Oh sometimes, it is the little things that trip me up.

Grateful for the wonderful service BJ provided fixing my lawn mower, grateful Kathy knows how to use a power drill, and grateful I was able to make some phone calls today.

Another night of little sleep. Man, this is getting old quick.

I spent the morning getting ready for family day. Did some much needed housecleaning. Brought in a table and chairs from the shed so we would have enough places to sit and eat. Fixed the spaghetti sauce, made a salad and fixed the garlic bread.

It was fun having everyone here today. We fit in my little house! Not sure how I am going to fit 24 for Thanksgiving but 8 was no problem. The food was good, the conversation around the tables even better.

Jason and my neighbor Phil tried to get the lawn mower started but it would not work. I will have to take it in sometime this week and get it fixed. Geoff looked at my yard and told me how to fix it. I will need to stop in Emporia and get some grass seed one of the days I go to town this week.

We had a brief rainstorm roll through early afternoon. I was surprised when it rained. We missed most of the storm though.

I took a nap after everyone left this afternoon. I’m still tired so trusting I will be able to sleep good tonight. When I got up from my nap, I did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. I used paper plates so I didn’t have lots of dishes to do.

Tomorrow I have to go to town for exercise at 2:00. I have a load of stuff to drop off at the Friends of Library book sale and I need to go to the Chiropractor as I missed going last Friday. If I think about it, I will stop and get grass seed after I get my car unloaded.

Tuesday I am going to KC for lunch with two friends and then meeting with my attorney to sign some papers. I don’t think I have any other errands to run while I am in town but between now and then I may think of something I need.

I need to remember to call the foundation guy tomorrow and get that project started. I may stop by and make sure Tagen’s floor is ready for the new flooring that is to be laid on Wednesday. He hadn’t move some stuff that needs moved yet and I want to make sure it is ready to go so that project doesn’t get delayed.

If I remember and the skies are clear, I may go out to the Prairie Preserve tomorrow night and watch the moon rise. It will be a Super moon. I am missing keeping touch of the rhythm of the moon. It is impossible to see the moon rise from where I am now.

Feeling a bit ungrounded tonight. Not sure why as I had a fun day. It feels like something is brewing inside and I can’t put my finger on what yet. Sooner or later I will figure it out – or not. Sometimes it is an emotion that needs to be heard and released and it takes me a bit to figure it out. I will continue sitting with it and allowing whatever to rise.

Grateful for family days when all the kids and grandkids come home, grateful the food turned out OK today, and grateful for all the ways I am blessed beyond measure.

Another night of little sleep. Man, this gets hard after several days of little sleep. Sure wish I knew the cause and had a cure.

I walked Sophia this morning and Kathy walked Roxy. Sophia finally did her business. She was in a mood to sniff and smell and follow her nose most of the walk. It is hard to walk her when she does that. My shoulder is a bit sore this afternoon from her pulling on the leash this morning.

I went to a friend’s house mid morning and helped pack some things. I brought home some papers to shred and several boxes to drop off at the Friends of Library book sale. I’m so grateful my move is over and I am on the other side of all that work. It is very rewarding when it is all done but it is tons of work.

I took a short nap in my chair this afternoon. I don’t feel very rested yet but I knocked the hard edge off. Maybe tonight I will sleep long and hard.

I haven’t started getting ready for family day tomorrow. I want to make a dessert this evening and do some house cleaning. I have a tendency to put off house cleaning too long and then I don’t get it all done. Hopefully, no one will notice! I do need to go out to the shed and get a table and four chairs to set up so everyone will have a place to sit and eat.

I have managed to get two loads of laundry washed and dried. I don’t have them folded and put away yet though. I haven’t had much energy to do much yet.

It is another hot one today. The ground has a lot of water on it and when it warms up, the humidity is high. I need to remember to have Geoff and Jason look at my lawnmower tomorrow. I ran it out of gas when I was mowing earlier this week and now I can’t get it to stay running. It will start and then it stops quickly thereafter. Wonder what I did to it?

Geoff is trained in landscaping and is going to look at my yard and tell me what I need to do to fix the bare spots and around the new sidewalks. I have more weeds than grass in the yard and need to fix that too. I don’t know about keeping town yards. I only know how to mow. I may need to hire someone to help me fix the bare spots if it is very complicated.

So looking forward to tomorrow and having all the kids here. We haven’t had a family day in a long time. I think we were together mid April for one but haven’t done so since. We were all together at Craig’s memorial service and celebration of life but we were rather distracted then and didn’t get good time together.

Looking forward to my trip to KC Tuesday and having lunch with some dear friends. It has been a very long time since we were able to make that happen too. It will be good to get the paperwork to transfer this house deed from the LLC to my personal name taken care of too. One more thing I can cross off my pending list of things to do.

Other than being tired this has been a good day. I have been able to hold myself above neutral all day. Any day is a good day when I can do that. I love finding ways to be in service to others. I feel more productive on those days.

Grateful for a short nap this afternoon, grateful to be of some help to my friend, and grateful tomorrow is family day.

I went to KS Graphics at 9:00 this morning to help stuff the Pioneer Bluffs letter. It was a single page that was already folded. We got over 2,100 letters stuffed and sealed in about three hours. There were four of us working so it went fast. We visited and laughed together.

I went to Emporia for my 2:00 exercise session. I like this week’s video as it is mainly yoga and standing stretches. The time goes by quickly and I feel like I get a good workout in.

I skipped going to the Chiropractor. I was tired and still needed to get groceries. Driving downtown and waiting for the Chiropractor seemed too much in the moment so I went and got the groceries I needed and came home.

I got stopped with road construction for about 15 minutes coming home so the drive home felt like it took a long time. I had forgotten something at the grocery store so had to stop at Dollar General and get it. Luckily they had it in stock.

I didn’t sleep well again last night and am tired this afternoon. I’m sure one of these nights soon I will find lots of sleep. Trying hard not to take a nap this evening and I will go to bed early. It is cloudy and a bit of rain is coming through so is perfect sleeping weather. It sure feels later than it is.

Tomorrow I am going to help a friend for a couple hours in the morning. Other than that, I will have a quiet day. I do have some house cleaning that I need to do in the afternoon. The kids are all coming home Sunday so will do a bit of baking and getting ready for Sunday. So looking forward to having all the kids and grandkids here for lunch Sunday in my new house.

Next week I have exercise in Emporia on Monday. Tuesday I am going to KC to meet with my attorney and am meeting some friends for lunch. Thursday I am helping my friends move and Friday I go back to Emporia for exercise. Friday evening there is a concert here in Cottonwood Falls that I want to go to.

It felt good to do a volunteer service project today. I have been slacking on volunteering lately. I need to find a regular volunteer gig somewhere. It is getting time for me to come out of my self imposed hibernation and rejoin the world.

Able to maintain at or above neutral all day today. I didn’t get a lot of quiet time today or yesterday so am pleased that I was able to stay above neutral today. I will have tomorrow afternoon to recharge and be ready for a fun day on Sunday with the kids.

Grateful to have worked on a volunteer project today, grateful to get to visit with some old friends today, and grateful for a productive exercise session today.

Last night at 10:00 we lost power. A storm rolled through and brought another inch of rain. The power came back on about midnight. I had stayed up waiting for it until 11:45 and decided to go to bed. I had just fallen asleep when the lights came on and woke me up. Had trouble finding sleep after that for a long time.

Went to a friend’s house this morning and helped pack a few boxes. I remember being there four months ago. What a job it is! They treated me to lunch at Jacalito’s afterwards. What a fun morning it was.

Am working on getting the yard mowed this afternoon. It is hot outside and I work for a short bit and then come in and cool off and then go back out. Sooner or later I will get it done.

The newsletter for Pioneer Bluffs is ready to be stuffed so will be doing that tomorrow morning. I have to be in Emporia at 2:00 for exercise so may or may not get it finished before I have to leave. After exercise I will go to the Chiropractor and then go buy groceries for family day on Sunday.

I need to do some housecleaning Saturday. I will bring in a card table from the shed and some folding chairs so everyone can sit at a table for lunch. This will be the first time the kids will see the house since I moved in. I’m so looking forward to family day.

Found out the basement foundation company I used two years ago to fix one of the rentals is out of business. No wonder they didn’t answer their phone. The past owner was kind enough to respond to my email and give me the name of someone else that might be able to help me out with a foundation problem at one of the rentals. I will call them tomorrow. The hot water heater got fixed today so progress is being made after the disaster on Tuesday. The flooring is going down next Wednesday.

Feeling a bit more grounded tonight. Still tired though as sleep has been hard to find the last couple of nights. One of these nights soon I will crash and get lots of sleep. Have been able to keep myself above neutral today all day. It felt good to be in service for a bit this morning. I need to find more ways to do that.

Grateful for the time spent with some friends today, grateful the hot water heater got fixed at Michelle’s house, and grateful for a lead on a foundation repair guy.

It has been another long day. I had trouble finding sleep again last night although I did get more than I had the night before. I really didn’t want to get up and going this morning.

I took the dogs for their walks, one by one. We ran into a lady walking two dogs – one dog was on a leash but the other one wasn’t. I have run into her before. Her dogs are friendly but Sophia is hard to control around the dog that isn’t on a leash. I luckily spotted them and was able to detour around them and came home the long way.

Went to Emporia at 10:30 for my 11:30 exercise session. They were flagging traffic again today so had to wait about 10 minutes. I was towards the back of the line so it was slow going all the way to Emporia.

I stopped by the flooring place and paid for the flooring for Tagen’s bedroom. They were a bit slow in figuring out what I owed but they got it done.

Went to exercise and did my thing for 49 minutes today. I liked today’s exercises as it felt like I got a good workout in. We did a lot of yoga and standing exercises today.

Afterwards I went to a thing with Jason. It lasted from 1:15 until 4:00. It was somewhat productive but no resolution yet. Hard to see your kiddo have to go through this.

Came home afterwards. Kathy needed to return a pickup to a house that was on my way home so we agreed to meet at that house. I waited about 30 minutes and Kathy called and said she couldn’t cross the tracks as there was a train that wasn’t moving. She went back home. I came home through hill and dale. Not sure how I figured out a way home but kept following the line of cars ahead of me and they got me home. It took over an hour to get home.

Michelle let me know her hot water heater isn’t working since the power went off the other day. Dang it anyways. I’m getting really tired of having to fix things. I will be very happy when I am done being a landlord. Still haven’t been able to get hold of the basement contractor. His phone gives me four little beeps and then cuts me off. Not sure what that is about.

I am really tired tonight. It is probably more mentally tired than physically but I have absolutely no energy tonight. I am drained again. It is over 100 again today and what little I was outside today got to me. Trusting I can rest the rest of the evening and refill and recharge.

Tomorrow I am going to a friend’s house to help her pack. That will be fun for me. I need a day of doing something productive and of being in service. Friday I have to go back to Emporia for another round of exercise. Sunday the kids are coming for family day. That will be wonderful! I am fixing spaghetti and meatballs for lunch so that will be easy. When I am in town Friday I will stop and get what I need to fix lunch.

Next week I am going to KC Tuesday to sign some papers with my attorney there. I am meeting some dear friends for lunch before my afternoon appointment. That will be a fun day.

Feeling a bit unsettled and ungrounded tonight. When it cools down a bit, I will take the dogs for walks and see if that will help ground me. I’m hanging on to the neutral level but barely. I’m betting with some body movement and quiet, I’ll climb back up again yet today.

Grateful for a good workout this morning, grateful to have gotten to spend some time with Jason today, and grateful I figured out a way to get home around the blocked train tracks.

Wow! What a day. I had trouble finding sleep last night. Not sure I got more than an hour or two during the whole night. I had trouble falling asleep and if I managed to fall asleep I would wake up shortly thereafter. Makes for a very long night when that happens.

I gave up around 6:00 and got up. I enjoyed listening to the rain and thunder and seeing the lightning. That was some storm that rolled through this morning. We really needed the rain.

Around 7:15 Tagen called. They had lost power at their house and so the sump pump was not working. Emporia got over 5 inches of rain very quickly. The basement flooded due to the sump pump not working and Tagen had three inches of water on his basement bedroom floor. Yikes!

I had to go to Emporia for a haircut at 10:30 so I went in early so I could stop by the house and see what needed done. By the time I got to the house around 9:30 the electricity had come back on and the water was gone. But the carpet was a soppy, wet mess.

I went to the carpet store and asked them what type of flooring they recommended. They said to put in vinyl planking so I picked one out that I liked. They gave me the name of an installer. I called the installer and he said he would come by tomorrow to give me a bid.

I took a sample of the plank to Michelle to get her approval which she gave. I then went to my haircut and then came home.

The installer called around 2:00 this afternoon and asked if he could come today to measure the floor. I drove back into Emporia and met him at the house. He quickly measured the floor. He told me the carpet needed removed ASAP. I told him we might have someone that could do it later today but I wasn’t sure if they were going to be able to come. I asked him if he could do it. He first said he couldn’t do it until Thursday and he didn’t want it to wait that long. His wife was with him and she said something to him. He asked if I could get the room cleared of all the little stuff quickly. I told him yes. Next thing I knew he said he would be back soon.

I got to work taking things off the dressers and the bed. I happened to have some boxes in the car so I got those and used those to put things in. Tagen helped me move the night stands out of the way.

Fifteen minutes later the installer showed back up with his wife and son and they got to work removing the wet carpet. He knew how to cut it into pieces that they would be able to carry to his truck. It took them about 30 minutes to get the job done. I was so very grateful he was able to get the carpet out today. I gave him a good tip when I wrote the check to give him for the deposit on laying the floor. He is coming back a week from tomorrow to lay the new flooring.

While I was helping Tagen clear the room, I noticed some towels up against the floor and the wall. Michelle had mentioned something earlier today about a little water leak. Found out there is water coming in from a crack in a wall in the corner of the room. Dang it anyways. I attempted to call the basement repair guy but his line was busy all afternoon long. I bet half of Emporia tried to call him today. I’ll try again tomorrow. I will have to get that problem resolved too.

Dang, somedays rentals are a pain in the ass. I’ll have to check to see if insurance will cover any of this. I don’t know yet how much the flooring is going to cost and I can’t remember what my deductible is. I’ll have to check on both of those things tomorrow too.

Downtown Emporia flooded today too. I wonder how many people had a wet basement today in Emporia? It is rare we get five to six inches of rain in only a couple of hours. The ground was saturated and there was no place for the water to go. Loosing electricity didn’t help at all today either. What a mess!

Hoping Jason’s house’s basement didn’t flood. He is going to check tonight and let me know. I don’t know if he has a sump pump or not.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 11:30. I need to go by the carpet store and pay for the planking. The installer said he gave them the measurements so they will know how much I will need.

I am tired tonight. I hadn’t planned on making two trips to Emporia today. Grateful the installer came through and helped me out big time today. I told him he was my miracle of the day. I gave his wife a hug and thanked her for suggesting they could do the job.

I think I will do my exercise video and then eat dinner and go to bed very early tonight. I may fall asleep during exercise if they aren’t very exciting this week. Sure wish I knew why some nights I can’t find sleep.

Grateful for an installer that really helped me out today, grateful the water damage wasn’t worse, and grateful for a haircut today.

Got up this morning and took the dogs one by one for their walks. I walked about one mile altogether. They both did their business.

Went to my doctor’s office for my annual physical. As I predicted, I’m not sure it was worth going to other than he sent in refills for my prescriptions. I will do a mammogram in October but don’t need any other tests done this year.

He did have me do a blood draw. His nurse called with the results this afternoon. My cholesterol is elevated but that is normal for me. I won’t take statins and the new medication that you inject didn’t work so not a lot they can do for me. Last year he had me start taking garlic and fish oil but my numbers didn’t change from a year ago so think I will discontinue taking them. He didn’t say to continue.

My thyroid level was 3.06 which is just about what it was five weeks ago. It seems to have stabilized a bit which is good news. I prefer it to be closer to 2.0 but 3.06 is close enough.

I stopped at Walmart after my physical and picked up a few groceries for the week. While I was at Walmart the foundation bid guy called and said he could come early. I told him to head my way and I finished up quickly and headed home.

Got the groceries put away and he showed up. He was a nice young man and seemed to know what he was doing. Unfortunately the system they use to fix a sinking foundation won’t work for my house as there is not enough crawl space. They need 18 inches of space and I only have 14. He was going to try to sell me some sort of waterproofing system but again it isn’t going to work due to the short space.

Now I am not sure what to do. I need a metal beam put in a very tight space. The guy today said they could cut a hole in the floor and go in that way. Now to find someone that can do that.

I did ask him what happens if I don’t get it fixed. He said it might hold out for another 20 years but if many more rocks fall away, it might cause the floor to totally collapse. What to do?

I asked the guy if the house needs a whole new foundation put under it. He said it really did but he wasn’t sure who could do it. IF I do choose to do that, he recommended I have it dug out deeper so it could be waterproofed. His company won’t lift a house that is set on a limestone foundation. Not sure it is worth putting that much money into a house that is 125 years old anyways. What to do?

While the guy was here he asked me if I had a drill with a star bit. He had forgotten his. I said I did but when I found my drill, it was dead and I couldn’t quickly find my drill bit set. I called a friend and they had one so I ran over and borrow his. After the foundation guy left, I made some no bake chocolate cookies and took to my friend when I return his drill. I so appreciated him loaning it to me so the guy could do his thing.

I sent a request to my attorney in KC Saturday to do some deed work on this house. He already has a draft ready for me to approve. I will find a day to go to KC soon and get those signed and taken care of. That was easy and fast. I appreciate people who respond quickly and efficiently.

Haven’t gotten much else done today. I picked up a pizza at Walmart and that is what Kathy and I had for dinner. That was easy. I am not a big fan of pizza but for some reason it looked and sounded good today. Not sure it tasted as good as I hoped but it filled me up and was easy to fix.

I have to go to Emporia in the morning for a haircut. I don’t think I have anything else I need to do while I am in town tomorrow since I got groceries today. I will need to do my exercise video tomorrow sometime. It will be a challenge to remember to do it weekly at home since I have had 26 weeks of going to the gym three times a week to do it. We shall see how quickly I can adjust to this new schedule.

Tagen wants spaghetti and meat balls Sunday so now I know what to fix. That will be easy. I will get some bread and stuff for a salad to go with it and we will be good to go. I look forward to having all the kids here for the first time in this new house. There will be eight of us so I will set up a card table and everyone will be able to sit at a table to eat.

I turned the A/C on last night as I was getting ready to go to bed. The house had warmed up to 81 and I knew I wasn’t going to sleep with it being that warm. It got over 90 today so I am grateful I turned it on last night so it could keep the house cool today. It sure was nice having it off for two days in the middle of August though. That doesn’t happen very often.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. I am still a bit stumped as to what to do with the foundation but that will sort itself out sooner or later. My list of pending issues is getting much smaller and it feels like I am getting to the end of home improvement projects. Time is opening up for me again and I feel lighter of responsibility.

Grateful my physical is complete for the year, grateful for the guy that came today was able to admit he couldn’t do the job, and grateful for a dear friend that loaned me a drill today.

It has been another quiet day at home. I relish the weekends when I get to stay home for two days in a row. I did take Sophia for a long walk this afternoon. It is cooler out and she was able to walk for over a mile today without panting too hard.

I did a bit of cleaning again today and some laundry but most of the day I didn’t do much. It is nice to slow down and rest and be quiet.

I sat outside for about five minutes this evening. I have turned the A/C off and house is a bit warm tonight. I got bitten about five times by mosquitoes and had to come in. I am going to have to take a bath soon to quiet down the bites. I itch all over now. The mosquitoes hadn’t bothered me all summer until tonight. They made up for it tonight.

Tomorrow I have to be in Emporia by 9:45 for my annual physical. I doubt that it will take more than 30 minutes. I kinda laugh at the word physical as the doctor will barely touch me. He gets to chart it as a physical and will get reimbursed for more than a normal office visit. Oh well, I will check that off my to do list for the year and go on with life.

Tomorrow afternoon a guy is coming to look at the foundation to see if there is anything they can do about the big slope in the corner of the dining room and my bedroom. I don’t know about this type of thing but thought I would get it looked at. Have no idea what can be done and how much it might cost. The house is almost 125 yers old so thinking the original foundation is overdue on needing some propping up.

Tuesday I have to go back to Emporia for a haircut. That will be fun as I enjoy the conversation I always have with the guy that cuts my hair. It feels a bit like a counseling session to be honest.

Wednesday and Friday I go in for exercise. Grateful I am down to twice a week now instead of three times a week. I will have to remember to do the video at home on either Monday or Tuesday.

I will need to stop one of the days and get a few groceries. Friday I will need to get the stuff to fix dinner on Sunday when all the kids are coming home for a family day. Still haven’t decided what to fix. I asked them for ideas but no one had any. I’ll figure it out – sooner or later.

I’m going to make a couple phone calls tomorrow and try to find a different management company for my remaining rental. I just don’t trust the lady that is handling it now. Not sure how to find someone but I will make some calls and see what I can find. If all else fails, I will manage it myself.

Feeling a bit ungrounded tonight. I need to find somethings to add to my calendar as too much free time is not always in my best interest. I still struggle to balance between lots of empty space and having too many things to do. Right now I have too much empty space.

Grateful for two stay at home days this weekend, grateful for the cooler temperatures, and grateful for my quiet life.

This has been a rainy, cool day on the prairie today. I turned off the A/C and opened the windows. Rare for the middle of August in KS but I will take it. I have a bit of fall fever today.

I got up fairly early this morning and took the dogs one by one on their morning walk. I walked about 45 minutes all together. It was so nice and cool and easy to walk today.

Did a bit of housework today. I can always find more to do but got what was bugging me taken care of.

I sent a couple of emails to get some business matters taken care of. My attorney responded right back. Not sure why he is working on a Saturday but I appreciated the quick response.

I have been doing a beneficiary review of all of my accounts. I try to remember to do that each year in my birthday month. I even pulled out the will and trust paperwork and read through them to see if there is anything that needs changed in them. I discovered two of my CD’s didn’t have a beneficiary designated so took care of that. Those things are easy to miss and it can cause problems should something happen to me.

I still need to write up a personal effects disposition directive. I am not sure I have much that the kids will want but if I had one, the few things I do have will then go to the right person. I am not too attached to physical things so I’m not sure I care what happens to my things. However, if it would make it easier for the kids, I will write one out.

I will need to find a day to go to KC soon. My attorney is preparing some papers that I will need to go sign. I have some dear friends in KC that I haven’t seen for a long time so may try to time it so I can have lunch with them. That would make the long drive worth it.

Hard to believe the grandkids will be starting school next week. This summer went by quickly. Ellexia will be a freshman and Tagen will be doing his second year at the Vo-Tech completing his welding program. I trust they both will have a successful and fun year.

Life seems to be slowing back down for me. Most of the house improvement projects I had going on are completed. The foundation guy is coming Monday so that may start another project. I still need to get the porch rebuilt but that is going to happen later this fall. It is good to have a brief respite from a long pending list.

Grateful for a cool August day, grateful the house is a bit cleaner today, and grateful for the peaceful valley I am finding myself in.

Sophia woke me up at 5:45 barking. I ignored her for a few minutes but she was not quieting down. I got up and took her for a six block walk. She didn’t do much but chase squirrels. I left her outside in her pen and came back in and tried to get some more sleep.

At 8:00 I got a text from my realtor telling me she sent an email from that needed my immediate attention as it was a document for the closing today that needed signed and returned. I took care of that.

I took Roxy on her walk and then put her outside with Sophia. Sophia was acting like she needed to go again so I took her on another walk. This time she did her business.

Late morning I got a text from my realtor that she had deposited the funds from the sale of the rental house. What a relief!

I went to Emporia around 1:15. I needed to stop and pick up a prescription from Walmart if the traffic wasn’t being stopped. It wasn’t but I was behind a camper going 50 on Highway 50. Traffic was heavy enough that I couldn’t pass them for the longest time.

I picked up my prescription and then went to exercise. This was my last three days a week at the gym week. Next week I go down to two sessions a week with a trainer and do the other session at home.

After exercise I headed downtown. I stopped at the chocolate store and picked up a thank you gift for my realtor. I added a note card to it and then dropped it off at her office downtown.

I went to the bank where the funds had been deposited and opened a CD. Rates are good right now and I wanted to catch them as high as possible. There is always a chance they will lower them next week. It seemed to take a log time to complete the paperwork for that but finally got that taken care of.

Went to the Chiropractor after I was done at the bank. He had lots of people in front of me but the line moved through rather quickly. I probably had to wait 15 – 20 minutes. Got my weekly adjustment and could finally head home.

Coming home they were doing construction again. I hit the line that was just starting. I could see the end of the line that had been let through in front of me. I had to wait for about 20 – 25 minutes for my turn to go.

It sure felt like a long trip to town but I got everything taken care of. It was a huge relief to get the funds from the sale of the rental house invested. I will make as much if not more having the funds in a CD than I did from renting it. I won’t get the tax benefits of the depreciation though but that is OK. I won’t have the risk of something else breaking and needing fixed either.

I took a nap when I got home. I was exhausted and knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake until bed time. Felt good to sleep for an hour.

It only reached the mid to lower 70’s today. What a nice break from the heat we have been having. It isn’t supposed to get back to the 90’s until mid week. We may get some more rain tomorrow.

No plans for the weekend. I need a couple of stay at home days. I have some house work that needs done and hoping the mood will hit and I can get that done.

Monday I have my annual physical in the morning and the foundation repair guy is coming in the afternoon. Tuesday I have a haircut in the morning. Wednesday and Friday I have to go to Emporia for exercise. A week from Sunday we are having family day.

Sure felt good to get the funds invested today. Owning and managing my rentals has not been the same since my business partner retired. They have been great investments for me but it is time for me to simplify and slowly get out of the rental business. I still have three more but Jason lives in one, Michelle lives in another one so that only leaves one not occupied by family. My plan is to do something with that last one next year. Michelle and Jason are on a rent to own plan so hoping that may happen within a year or two for them too.

Next week I need to find out how I changed the deed on the house I am living in from being in the LLC company to my personal name. I want to get that taken care of soon too. The attorney that did my trust can take care of that for me so will call his office sometime next week and get that process started.

I am going through all my bank accounts and making sure all my beneficiaries are up to date. I haven’t checked them for a bit and just want to make sure they are all OK. I try to do that every year around my birthday as a reminder to myself. I always feel reassured when I double check them that everything is in order.

I did remember to send my insurance agent an email today and cancel the insurance on the house I sold today. He sent a confirmation back so I know that is being taken care of.

The Chiropractor said my whole body was tight today. I trust that knowing the sell went through OK today will help my body loosen up a bit. I like knowing how things are getting simplified in my life. It has been a process to get here and I’m not sure I am reaping the benefits of my work yet, but I know the end is in sight.

Grateful the house closed as scheduled today, grateful this is the last week for three trips to Emporia weekly, and grateful for cooler days in the middle of August.

Had trouble finding sleep again last night. I had trouble falling asleep and then if I did manage to fall asleep, I would wake up again and couldn’t go back to sleep. Sure makes a long night when that happens.

Went to Emporia for exercise at noon. The 45 minutes went by fairly quickly. I stopped at Walmart afterwards and picked up some groceries and then came home.

Got news that I am closing on the sale of one of the rental houses tomorrow as planned. That is a relief. I have been impressed with my realtor, Angie Blankley. She really worked hard to make this deal happen and offered some compromises that made it work. She restored my faith in her realty company. This is the first time I have worked with Angie and I would definitely work with her again.

I realized today that what was going on with this sale was another test from the universe to see if I was going to stick to the boundaries I had set. I had a habit of caving in and letting others walk over me. I have learned to set my boundary and to allow others to do what they need to do and remember that it isn’t on me what they chose to do. I had forgotten that again! Grateful I stuck to my boundaries and the deal went through. Great reminder for my soul.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia again for exercise. I am grateful that starting next week I only have to go twice a week for exercise instead of three. That feels like it opens up another free day for me. In another 13 weeks I will go down to once a week for the last 13 weeks of the program.

While I am in town tomorrow I will go to the Chiropractor after exercise and then go to a bank and invest some funds with the proceeds of the sale of the rental property. I also need to stop by my insurance agent and cancel the insurance on the rental house I sold. I also need to contact my accountant and find out what my tax liability will be due to the sale. Not sure if am looking forward to hearing that number.

I need to find a different property manager for the remaining rental house I have. Anyone know of someone that does a good job? I am very disappointed in the person that has been managing my properties since my business partner retired. I need to cut ties with them and find someone that will do what I am paying them to do.

Since I have decided not to build and will remain in this house long-term, I need to contact an attorney and get this house moved out of the LLC and into my personal name. That will trigger yet another tax event. I don’t think I want to see how much taxes I am going to have to pay this year.

I cleaned out my refrigerator today. Found lots of wasted food. I hate when I allow that to happen. I was doing really good for a bit using what I was buying but got off track the last two weeks. Hoping I can reground and get back with it.

No plans for the weekend. The foundation repair guy is coming Monday to give me an estimate on the cost of repairing the foundation of this house. I don’t envy them that job as the crawlspace in this house is not very big. I’m sure they have seen that problem before and know how to work around it.

I have my annual physical Monday morning. Not sure it is necessary but I will go to it and cross that off my list of things to do. It is time to have my TSH checked again so will have him do that with the other blood work he will order and save me a stick.

Sitting in a better place today after realizing what was up with the back and forth of the sale of the rental house. I needed the reminder that the universe has my back. I get impatient and forget to allow things to unfold in their timing and not mine. One of these days I will get this lesson!

Grateful the closing is proceeding as planned, grateful for a realtor that works hard to make a deal happen, and grateful for another lesson from the universe.