Author: Kay Krause

I think I am loosing track of what day of the week it is. When you do the same thing for five days in a row without anything to differentiate the days, they tend to get lost.

I did leave the house today. I finally got Gene’s Christmas present mailed. I went to Dollar General to get some milk for me and coffee for Kathy. They were out of all milk but they did have coffee. I went to Casey’s and they had milk.

The roads were slick but drivable if you went slow. I’m grateful I got my car cleaned off yesterday. I used the auto start and it was nice and warm for me when I went out to get in it. I did feel good to get out of the house for 15 minutes.

My tax prep folder came in so I have started my tax prep. I went through all my files and threw away stuff that was from 2023. I sorted the rental information into piles. I went through my medical stuff and sorted that all out. I will continue to work on the taxes and get the packet ready to go. I will have to wait for the forms to come in before I can deliver the packet to my accountant. Most won’t come in until the end of January so I have lots of time to get the packet ready.

Other than doing two loads of laundry which I haven’t folded and put away yet I haven’t gotten much done today. I did make a crock pot of white chicken chili this morning. Kathy and I have been eating on it all day. It hit the spot today. Not sure I will want the leftovers but will save them and see if they get eaten.

No plans for tomorrow. It is to snow again tomorrow night but it doesn’t sound like we will get lots of snow. Not sure if I will go to exercise Friday – it will depend on how much snow we get Thursday night. I won’t drive on snowy roads unless it is urgent and exercise is not urgent.

Gentle Thunder and I had a great conversation last night. She is set to do a meditation on January 20 at 3:00. We are doing it at my house over Zoom so if anyone wants to participate and can’t get to my house let me know and I can send the link. The cost is $50. I wanted to organize a positive experience for that day. Gentle Thunder did a meditation for the Global Water Healing on-line group. If you google globalwaterhealing.org and go to their archives and then scroll down to August 4, 2023 you will find her meditation. Kathy said she listened to it and was most impressed.

My house looks like a big disorganized coat closet. We have to put on so many layers when we go out and with walking the dogs we go out often enough we don’t bother putting them up. It takes us about five minutes to get suited up to go out and another five minutes to get everything off. I miss my mop sink I had at the country house – it was the best boot jack.

Still feeling like I am gathering up my reserves. It feels like I will be called into some sort of service soon and will need to be full going into it. As the world continues to change I believe all of us are going to have to step forward in ways we haven’t before. We need to all be working towards building a new type of community. So many people have dropped out and no longer feel connected. Somehow, some way we need to reach them and let them know they are worthy of love and connect with them.

Grateful I made it to the store today, grateful I got Gene’s package in the mail even though it is a month late, and grateful the tax prep project has begun.

Happy birthday to Craig. I missed texting him today to wish him a happy birthday and to thank him for the time we spent together. He has left a huge hole in many hearts. I have carried Nancy and my kids in my heart today as they find ways to celebrate Craig’s first birthday away from our sight. We all still carry him in our hearts. I sense his presence often.

It has been day number four of staying home. I did start my car and let it run for a long time. The front and rear windshields are now clear of ice and snow. Still can’t find the windshield wipers but maybe when I start it again tomorrow and let it run enough will melt that they will be visible. Thank heavens I filled the gas tank when I went to Emporia last Friday.

I fixed an insurance problem or two today. My renewal is coming up in another two weeks and I took time to read the policies. Found out the old garage on this property was still being covered. I got that taken off and the new 10 x 12 shed put on. I thought I had taken care of that when I changed the house from a rental to my personal property but guess not. I also notified them that Jason’s roof is Class 4. The agent sent me a form that the roofing company had to complete so the insurance company can give me a discount. The roofing guy got it right back to me and I got it to the insurance agent. Hoping we get it right the first time this time. Last time it took three tries.

I’ve been having an email exchange with Gentle Thunder, the lady that I want to do a remote meditation for us on Inauguration Day. I am going to call her in a bit and see if I can nail down a time. The email exchange has been a bit off so trusting we can work something out.

I had a lady that was going to come tomorrow and we were going to work on her final wishes. She wisely postponed it to next week. The roads are better today but don’t think anyone needs to be out unless absolutely necessary yet. I don’t have any plans on going anywhere until Friday and even then that might get canceled if we get snow again Thursday night as forecasted.

Tagen was going to come get my car and drive it to Topeka today but figured something else out. He has a diesel pickup and had the batteries out of it. Grateful he found a different way to get there. He let me know he arrived safely. These roads are still not real good and I worry about kids taking them seriously and slowing down enough to stay safe.

I do need to walk to the post office tomorrow and mail a package and two letters. We didn’t get mail again today. Can’t remember that happening before either. The poor carriers are going to have a full load tomorrow if they can get out then. I appreciate all the road workers, ranchers, and others that have to be out in this cold weather. Walking the dogs a couple times a day is enough for me.

When I was walking Sophia earlier today we came across a man that was walking a big dog on a leash. The other big dog with him was running free. The free dog thought hard about coming to see Sophia. I saw the free dog first and yelled at it to go home. I had a bit of struggle trying to keep Sophia under control as she was most interested in meeting the free dog. Grateful I was able to stay upright. Sure wish people would follow the leash law and keep their dogs on a leash instead of depending on voice control.

So far I am still able to relax into this unexpected time of grace. I haven’t gotten stir crazy or anxious. I have a dear friend or two with medical issues right now that I would love to be able to be a presence for them but will have to do it remotely. I have been allowing myself afternoon chair naps, lots of reading time, and not making myself do anything. It feels like a calm before the storm time for me. I need this time to build my reserves and learn how to block out distractions that are everywhere. I am enjoying this break I have been giving myself from the news. I read the highlights and allow that to be enough.

Grateful my car is now drivable if needed, grateful for Craig and the blessings he brought to me, and grateful the insurance stuff is fixed.

Another day at home. Too cold and the roads are too icy to go anywhere. I did walk the dogs around the block this afternoon. Kathy had taken them earlier. Sophia had a restless night and woke me up several times. I would let her out in the back yard without a leash on. She would run around and meet me at the front door and be there before I could get to the front door. She didn’t get the message that she could potty while she was out on her own.

I washed and dried the sheets off my bed but don’t have my bed made yet. I took a nap in my chair this afternoon. It was that type of day. I haven’t gotten anything else done.

A kid that helped me out during the move last spring put a message on Facebook that he would shovel driveways and sidewalks. I sent him a message and he showed up late afternoon. He was directed to do the sidewalks and behind the cars. He knocked on the door and told me he was done after doing behind the cars and the sidewalks from the front door to the driveway. Oh well, better than nothing. I haven’t gone out to see how good of job he did but whatever he did is better than I would have done. I don’t have any salt to put down so will have to deal with it as it is. Hoping the sun will melt some of it off tomorrow.

A dear friend fell on the ice Saturday night and broke her leg and dislocated her ankle. Dang it anyways. I can’t go help her in any meaningful way until the roads are better. She is having surgery next week so will hopefully be able to take a meal over by then. It sure can happen fast. Kathy and I decided we probably should be carrying our phones with us when we take the dogs out just in case. The dogs love to romp in the snow and cold and could easily pull one of us over.

No plans for tomorrow other than to stay inside and stay warm. The house has stayed warmer than I expected it to. I did turn the oven off last night as I decided it might not be safe to keep it running that long. I turned it back on this afternoon to warm up the kitchen a bit.

The back pantry room has snow on the floor that isn’t melting away. That room isn’t insulated and doesn’t have a heat source. Snow is piled up outside the back door about 12 – 15 inches tall. The dogs just jump right over it to get out. I guess I should have had the guys shovel the back patio off too but we can’t use the dog pen as the gate latches are frozen shut. My floors are a mess but decided it would do no good to clean them until the dogs can go back outside for the day. We sure track in lots every time we take the dogs out.

It is to get back into the lower 30’s and stay there or just below that for the next ten days. Not sure how much melting will happen as it will be close to 10 at night. At least we aren’t in for a long stretch of minus degree days and nights. 30 almost feels like a heat wave.

If I remember I need to start my car tomorrow and brush off the snow and let the ice melt. I don’t plan on going anywhere but it would be nice if the car was ready to go in case something comes up. I just saw a video about spraying alcohol on the windshield and the ice will melt quickly. I may try that. I have a remote start on my car and a full tank of gas so may go that route too.

I love these quiet days at home when I don’t have anything I have to do. There is a quiet calmness to them that I appreciate when I can relax into them. Somehow the days pass fairly quickly even when I am taking a do nothing day. Feels a bit like the calm before the storm. Not sure what storm is brewing but life seems to give me one occasionally. These winter days are good for building my reserves and refilling my soul’s light.

Grateful the snow got somewhat shoveled today, grateful I will have fresh sheets on my bed tonight, and grateful for a quiet winter’s day.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. We got probably about 8 inches today after a lot of ice yesterday. It is 14 degrees outside right now. Just got in from walking the dogs. We ended up walking in the road as cars had gone down and made a path. The sidewalks and yards were hard to gauge the depth of the snow. It was ankle deep in places and then the next step would be almost knee deep.

I’m grateful I have a pair of insulated coveralls. They keep my legs warm. And I also have insulated boots that help. The only place I got cold was my face.

Other than walking dogs I have taken another do nothing day. The house has stayed fairly warm. We have space heaters in the living room and in Kathy’s bedroom. I turned the oven on late this afternoon and it has warmed up the kitchen nicely. I may leave it on overnight.

I am working on getting two loads of laundry done. Wow! What a day’s accomplishment. Thinking tomorrow I will wash my sheets since I am on a roll!

For the first time that I can remember Highway 50 was reported closed today. I can’t remember that ever happening before. The only major highway in KS open was the KS Turnpike. I’m grateful I didn’t have to get out today or tomorrow. Way too many got into wrecks today – I wonder why they were out and about.

Lots of businesses in Emporia are closing tomorrow. The high school was not going to be in session anyways but other schools that were are closing. By Tuesday things should get back going again unless the wind comes up and causes more problems.

I thought several times about the house out on the hill today. When a storm hit like this last year I got snowed in for eight days. I couldn’t keep the driveway shoveled free. I could see the snow blowing hard today but the wind is so different in town. Walking the dogs was easy compared to walking down to take care of the chickens. Grateful I am now living in town.

Have a quiet week ahead of me. I’m grateful I moved my exercise session from Monday to Friday, I would have called and changed it anyways. I don’t have anything I have to get out for until Friday. I will find some things I can do around here and stay in. I can always start work on my tax prep.

Grateful I have the privilege of staying in for as many days as needed to keep safe, grateful for insulated boots and overalls, and grateful I made the move to live in town.

This has been a very quiet day at home. I didn’t sleep much at all last night and have no energy today. I have binge watched This Is Us this afternoon. I almost through Season 2.

We have gotten a coat of ice and I have seen very little traffic out front. I have read lots of accident reports on Facebook. We are to get a good dumping of snow on top of the ice. Not sure when the snow will get here.

I don’t have any plans for tomorrow either. It is to snow most of the day. I plan on staying tucked up inside all day tomorrow. I don’t have anywhere to go on Monday either so will probably stay in then too.

I made a pan of creamed chicken with biscuits today. I had a craving for them and they hit the spot. I have not been cooking food at home and only eating well when I eat out. I need to change that habit.

Jason let me know his new refrigerator got delivered today and it fit perfectly. We had to get a shorter one as he has a low cabinet above the space where the refrigerator goes. I’m glad it fit.

I need to remember to call my insurance agent Monday and make sure the policies that are coming due January 20 are correct. If I read the policy correctly they are still covering the old shed that I gave away on this property. I also need to let them know the roof on Jason’s rental house is a Class 4 shingle. Last time I ungraded the shingles on my country house it took the insurance agent three tries before he got it right. Trusting he learned how to do it and it will only take one time this time.

I will need to find an indoor project. I won’t want to get out in the cold and I can’t sit all day everyday. With the holidays behind me and Tagen’s house completed I need a new project. Not sure what that will be yet but I’m sure something will cross my path.

I’m having a time thingy again. Has it really only been a little over a week since Christmas Day? My connection to time is hard to describe. Time is feeling more and more like the illusion that it is.

Grateful for a safe and quiet day in the warm house, grateful for home cooked cream chicken and biscuits, and grateful Jason got his new refrigerator and that it fit.

Had a very weird thing happen today. When I came out to my car after grocery shopping at Walmart I got a text on my phone. I reached for my phone to read the text. The phone felt weird and I looked at it again. It was not my phone. It was on the console where I place my phone to charge in my car. My phone was in my coat pocket.

Not sure how the phone got in my car. When I went into Walmart I locked the car. I had stopped at Jacalito’s for lunch before I went to Walmart and had not locked my car there. My car was also unlocked all night. I hadn’t put my phone on the charger between home and Jacalito’s or between Jacalito’s and Walmart.

I took the phone to the Chase County Sheriff’s office when I got home from exercise. The deputy called me later and asked me if some names sounded familiar. They did not. Oh the mystery of things sometimes!

After I bought groceries I went to exercise. When I was checking out at Walmart I got really hot and my heart stated to race. I got very light headed. I took off my coat and finished up. Walked out to my car without my coat on and cooled down a bit. I felt a bit better so went to exercise. About 30 minutes into exercise it happened again. I had to sit down for a bit. I felt better but my trainer and I decided maybe I better stop exercise for the day. Came home and it hasn’t happened again.

Weird day to say the least.

Someone came over this afternoon for some help with some tax issues. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to offer much help other than to confirm the taxes last year didn’t look right to me. I helped her develop a game plan and we shall see what happens. It has been ten years since I did payroll and sales tax reports and things have changed and I have forgotten a lot of things.

I am ready to get locked in at home for the next couple of days. We are in a major winter storm warning for the weekend. I moved my exercise session that was scheduled for next Monday to next Friday just to be safe. I really don’t like to drive on icy roads.

I stopped on the way home from Emporia and filled my car up with gas. I like to keep it full during the winter and it wasn’t as cold today as it will be next week. Don’t plan on going anywhere but like to have it full just in case.

Last night I called my last Aunt and had a wonderful conversation with her. Her birthday was this week and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. She is in her upper 80’s and still lives alone. She is starting to have trouble with falling and had a bad fall a bit back. She has lots of great grandchildren that made her Christmas fun. It always feels like I have a conversation with my mother when I talk to her.

I have a quiet week next week. It will be a challenge walking the dogs in the bitter cold. Guessing we will only walk them long enough for them to do their business and then will return home. They love the cold weather but I don’t.

It will be good to have a couple of stay at home days coming up. I’m anxious to see how this house does in the bitter cold. It is a cold house already and have a feeling I am going to find it is even colder when the temperature drops below zero. I’m grateful I got some space heaters to help us out a bit. Wonder where we go in town if the power goes out and we need a warming station. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen. I had a propane fireplace at the country house so had a nice heat source when the power went out. Don’t have that here. I do have a gas stove so maybe I can turn the oven on and keep the oven door open. Not sure that will heat much of the house but will keep us from totally freezing I guess.

Sitting in a good head space tonight. I have been able to keep myself regulated and above neutral the last couple of days even when I was around people. The speed of things happening in the world right now takes my breath away. I do better when I tune out the news for the most part and stay focused on my inner world. I have started limiting my reading of the news to ten minutes a day. Any more than that and I get pulled off center.

Grateful for the Sheriffs Department, grateful for my Aunt, and grateful the groceries are stocked and ready for some snow days.

Is it really Thursday? Not sure what day I think it should be but it doesn’t feel like a Thursday. Glad we will be getting back to normally scheduled life.

This has been a very productive day after a rather sleepless night. I didn’t have my first sleep until after 5:00 this morning and then it only lasted about an hour. Was awake for another hour or more and then got another hour sleep. Tried one more time and finally got another hour. Dang, I dislike nights like that.

Tagen came over late morning and we went to the courthouse to do title work on the truck. The Treasurer was out to lunch and the office was closed until 1:00. We end to lunch and then came back.

It was opened the second time we went and got the truck registered. Found out what we have to do to switch the title to Tagen later this year.

Tagen followed me to Emporia. We went to Walmart and I got three 44 pound bags of dog food, a container of kitty litter and a big bag of cat food. Tagen lifts those things like they weigh 5 pounds each. I was grateful he was with me when we got to the checkout as the keys that hang off my purse got stuck in the cart and Tagen had to lift everything out of the cart so I could get my purse loose. He loaded everything into my car when we got to the parking lot. Over the next day or two I will get everything carried in the house.

Tagen then followed me to the water department and we got the water switched to his name. Good to get that taken care of today.

I came home and took care of paying a few bills and did some filing. Feel like I am getting caught up on some things. Found out the electric bill for both this house and Tagen’s house is on the same bill. I will have to help Tagen get the electric for his house switched to his name and then I think Tagen is all set to take on all the responsibilities of a renter.

It was nice that it worked out that I could go to lunch with Tagen. I love that man child and we always have good conversations. We ate at the Mexican restaurant in Strong City and the food and service was excellent.

I wrote out the checks to pay my estimated income tax for both federal and state. Ouch! Trusting that the accountant over estimated my payment and I will get some of it back in a couple of months. With the selling of a rental house, transferring a rental house to me personally and selling the county house I owe a lot of taxes this year. Sure wish I could designate how I want the Federal government to use that money. It would hurt less knowing it was going to help people and not support war and corruption.

Due to the water leak my water bill was over $200 this month. Ouch! Trusting now that the leak is fixed that will drop back to its normal $65 range. I hate waste and that bill was water being wasted due to the leak. Wish lines had an alarm on them to let you know there is a leak.

Tomorrow I have to go to Emporia for exercise at 2:00. From the sounds of the weather forecast I better stock up on groceries as I won’t want to get out over the weekend. We are to get ice and then snow. I an a wimp when it comes to driving on slick roads and will cancel plans so I don’t have to. We shall see if I can make it to town on Monday for exercise. I may just move it to Friday next week tomorrow when I go so I don’t have to worry about it.

Saturday morning someone is to come over so I can hopefully help them with a tax issue. Not sure I will be able to but I will do my best. It is almost time for tax season again. Trusting I will be able to make it to the training this year and will be able to pass the tests. Last year I got snowed in and couldn’t make any of the training sessions but did a private one instead.

It is almost time for me to start working on my personal taxes. The forms I need won’t be here until the end of the month but there is lots of prep work I can do until the forms get here. I didn’t have a good year on the rentals as they all needed major work done on them. Sure wish the major expenses were all deductible but most have to be itemized. I will be very grateful when the remaining three properties get sold and I am out of the rental business.

The tree trimming work at Tagen’s house got finished up today so I will be getting a bill for that soon. I think that is the last of the immediate pending projects I had going except for the foundation work that needs done at Michelle’s house. They had told me they probably wouldn’t get to that until spring. I do still need some foundation work done at this house and am on a wait list. Not sure if that can be done in the winter time or not.

Feels good to have had a semi productive day after a rather long string of non productive days. Every once in a while I need to have a day where I can cross several pending projects off my to do list. Today was extra sweet as I didn’t have to add more to the list. Slowly but surely my to do list is getting smaller.

Just remembered I forgot to mail Gene’s Christmas box today. I must get that done tomorrow. It may be February before it gets to him if I don’t get it off this week.

I got brave and cancelled my Apple News subscription. I need to dial back the amount of news I am consuming. I get a news update from two different sources daily that gives me the highlights of the news. If something really important is going on I can always turn on the TV or read a newspaper online. There is little I can do about anything that happens on a national level and if I consume too much of it I can get pulled off center and become unregulated.

Grateful two more things got done to help Tagen become self responsible for his rental house, grateful I had the money to pay my estimated taxes, and grateful I got to have lunch again with Tagen.

Happy New Year’s Day. I made it up to midnight but didn’t really celebrate. New Year’s Eve has never been a holiday that I celebrate. It feels too loud for me.

I have spent a pajama day at home. I decided not to get dressed today. I had no where to go and no real reason to get out of my pajamas.

The only thing I have gotten done today is two loads of laundry. I have it folded but not put away yet.

I have been binge watching the series “This Is Us” on Netflix. I haven’t even finished the first season yet and there are six seasons. It is really good although it confused me for a bit as it keeps jumping timelines following a family that had triplets. For part of it the triplets are babies and growing up and for part of it the triplets are adults. They jump all over the place as the babies are growing up but it is a good story line and I recommend it.

Tomorrow Tagen is coming over and we are going to the Courthouse to get his truck registered. Then we are going to Emporia to the water department to get that switched to his name. We also need to go to the bank and figure out which account is which. I thought I had it figured out but now I’m not sure. We set up the truck payment to come out of one of them and I want to make sure it is the right account.

Friday I have to go back to town for exercise in the afternoon. I also need to stop and pick up some groceries one of the trips to town. Saturday morning someone is coming over for some help with a tax issue.

It has been good to take a day and do nothing. I got good sleep last night and felt rested today but needed a very quiet day. Somehow the energy of the world feels too fast for me to absorb right now. It also feels like it is going to continue to speed up.

Someone posted a picture of the Northern Lights in KS again this morning. There was a big chance they were going to happen again tonight or in the early morning tomorrow. They are happening as a result of all the sun flares going on.

Now that the holidays are finally over things can go back to their normally scheduled programming. It is normally hard for me to figure out what day of the week it is but these last two weeks I have almost given up guessing what day of the week it is. Good thing my phone and iPad tell me that information daily.

If I don’t hear from Gentle Thunder by Monday I will contact her again. She had said she would get back to me a couple of days ago and I still haven’t heard from her. I am assuming because of the holidays she got tied up and will get back to me soon. I want to do some planning for an alternative inauguration event. I need to know what she will be doing and if she wants up to be able to lay on the floor or sit in chairs. Then I can start inviting people and find a space that will accommodate all that come.

Days like this help ground and center me. I feel ready for whatever is going to come my way this year. I need to remind myself to slow down even when things are speeding up around me. Otherwise I will get pulled into the chaos that is happening outside of me.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for good series on TV to watch, and grateful for the calm around me.

It has been a long day. Sophia got me up twice last night as she needed to go out. She is still having diarrhea. The last time she woke me up was at 4:30 this morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I did take a short nap in my chair this morning but I got a phone call after sleeping for about 20 minutes and I couldn’t go back to sleep after that.

I went to Emporia early afternoon. I met Jason at Guion’s and purchased a new refrigerator for his house. They are going to deliver it Saturday morning. Hoping the old one holds on until then.

I then went to Tagen’s house. We got the truck payment set up to automatically come out of a checking account. I transferred the gas bill to his checking account. The electric bill at the rental house is combined with my house. I guess I will have to have Tagen set up his own account next time I see him.

Tagen and I went to lunch after we got our business taken care of. I had a deep conversation with Tagen at lunch. I treasure the times I get to spend with him one-on-one. It’s been a good week as I got to spend one-on-one time with Ellexia yesterday.

I came home and took Sophia for a walk. Kathy had taken her about an hour before that but Sophia needed to go again. If she doesn’t get better soon I will have to take her in and see if they can figure out why she does this.

I think I get to stay home tomorrow. Thursday Tagen is coming here so we can get his pickup registration taken care of at the Chase County Courthouse. While he is here we will take care of transferring the electric bill into his name. I will follow him into town when we are done and go to the City of Emporia Water Department and get the water bill transferred to his name too. Then I think we are good to go.

I’m tired this afternoon. I am betting it will be an early bedtime for me tonight. I sincerely doubt that I will make it to midnight to welcome in the New Year. Although Sophia may get me up to do so tonight later.

I need to figure out how to link my bank with the bank Tagen and I are using. I used to do that with another bank account I had so I know it can be done. Have to find some time when I have some patience to attempt it. Sometimes those things go easy and other times not so much.

I was cleaning house a bit and found the box of Christmas cookies that I was to have sent Gene a week ago. Oops! I may make some New Year’s Cookies tomorrow and if so will add those to the box and get them in the mail Thursday. I am running way behind on this package. The mail takes so long to deliver these days he will be lucky to have the package my mid January.

I had put several bags of clothes that no longer fit on the porch and a friend stopped while I was gone and picked them up. That was easy! Saved me a trip hauling them to Goodwill. Someone else picked up a bag of yarn last week.

It turned cold today. It is to get even colder in the next few days. I kinda liked the 50’s better but guess that doesn’t count. It is January in KS and it would be weird if it didn’t get cold. Kathy mentioned the prairie wind today. If it is windy in town, I wonder how windy it was out on top of the hill where my old house is. I rarely think about the wind anymore since I moved to town.

There is a slight chance we could see the Northern Lights again tonight but it is too cloudy to go look. There has been an unusual amount of solar flares this year.

I’m ready to welcome in a New Year. This year has been a good one for me although it was busier than I like. Next year feels like it will bring lots of changes on many levels to most of us. Working hard to stay grounded and centered in the midst of all the chaos. I have heard it said that change is the only constant in the world. I remind myself to go with the flow and stay out of resistance to change. It is when I am in resistance that change becomes a challenge and can be hard to navigate. Accepting life for what it is and not for how I want it to be seems to be the key to happiness.

Grateful to get to spend some quality time with Tagen today, grateful Jason’s refrigerator is on its way, and grateful for a warm house on this cold winter’s night.

I didn’t want to get up when the alarm went off this morning. I needed to be in town by 9:30 so had to get going.

I picked up Ellexia and we headed to KC. I stopped and filled the car up at Costco. I should have done so in Emporia as gas was $2.62 at Costco. Could have gotten it for $2.59 closer to home.

We picked Nicole up and went to Johnny’s for lunch. Ellexia wanted Mac and cheese and French fries. She said they were good.

We dropped Nicole off and headed to Lululemon at Town Center. Ellexia had a sweater to return. She looked for something different while I stood in line for returns. After 20 minutes in line and not being able to see the front of the long line we decided to leave and I will return it a different way. It had taken us 15 minutes to find a parking spot.

We then went to Oak Park Mall. It was jam packed full of people too. We went to ten different stores until Ellexia could find something to spend her Christmas money on. She ended up with $2 and change left over but was excited about what she had found.

We headed for home after that. I was done!. Traffic was fairly heavy especially coming home. We drove through rain most of the way home.

I dropped Ellexia off at her mom’s house and I came home. I had wanted to stop at Costco in KC and Walmart in Emporia but I was done. I have to go to town tomorrow and will get what I need then.

It was fun spending the day with Ellexia. She knew what she wanted and had the patience to keep looking for it.

Tomorrow I am spending some time with Tagen to get some business taken care of. I also need to buy a new refrigerator for Jason’s house. His refrigerator is freezing things like milk and making a very loud noise when the fan turns on. I hope that is the last thing any of the rental houses need for this year. I have certainly had to do a lot of reinvestment in all three of them this year.

The rest of the week until Friday is free. Hoping to get some more stay at home days in. Friday I have exercise so will have to go to Emporia then.

I can’t wrap my head around that this week will start a New Year. Time and I don’t have a close relationship anymore. Things that happened in the past could have happened a week ago, a month ago or a year ago and it all feels about the same to me. Not sure how time goes by so fast when I spend most days sitting in my chair.

Wondering what the New Year will bring for us all. It will be interesting to see what happens with the transition of power in DC. I am challenging myself to stay grounded, centered. and in love regardless of what happens in the outer world. Trusting my role in all the changes will be apparent to me as I am needed to step up and serve.

Grateful for a full day with Ellexia, grateful to have lunch with Nicole, and grateful for a safe trip to and from KC.

Sophia had tummy issues yesterday. She woke me up around 1:00 this morning as she needed to go outside. She woke me up again this morning. Trust she will recover quickly.

I cleaned the pantry on the back porch out today. Went through all the Tupperware and sorted lids to containers. Threw away a bunch of stuff that I had moved but haven’t used since I have been here. I can now find what I need in the pantry. I even have some empty space.

Finished cleaning my bedroom. I had sorted all the clothes the other day and just needed to finish up the little stuff. Feels good to have those two projects completed. I have some work to do in the dining room and kitchen and my decluttering project will be completed. The nice thing about a small house is it doesn’t take long.

This house functions best when it is not overstuffed with stuff. It will hold what I need but not extras. I always feel lighter when I can find stuff to get rid of. I like having empty space in my cabinets and in my life.

Tomorrow I am picking Ellexia up at 9:30 and we are headed to KC to spend the day. We are meeting Nicole for lunch. Ellexia has a sweater to return and money in her pocket to spend. It will be a fun day.

I made some homemade potato soup this afternoon. I hadn’t had it for a long time and it was delicious. I don’t usually eat white potatoes but for some reason was craving potato soup. Have enough leftover for another meal of it.

What a beautiful day out today. I can’t believe it is this warm the end of the year. I did read that there is a cold front coming in over the next ten days. Guess it is time for some real winter weather. Maybe we will get lucky and it won’t hang around. Sure don’t want a repeat of last January when I got snowed in for eight days.

I don’t have any New Year’s Eve plans. I usually don’t celebrate it much. I don’t like crowds and noise. Am thinking of having some friends over but haven’t gotten anything organized yet.

Sophia turned eight years old today. She has been a great dog – she loves people and is very gentle. People seem to naturally navigate towards her. Ellie, the fat cat, turned nine on Christmas Day. Hard to remember life without these two.

My divorce from Jim was final two years ago today. I have come a long ways baby! I had fallen into a very deep hole and wasn’t sure I would ever find my way out of it. With the help of an excellent therapist, some great friends, and support of my family I made it out! I will be eternally grateful to all those that gave me a hand up during that dark time in my life. I have reached the point I am grateful it happened as since that time I have learned lots about myself. Sometimes it takes the Universe to hit me up the side of my head with a 2 x 4 to get my attention.

Grateful for the joy Sophia brings to my life, grateful for homemade potato soup, and grateful for the decluttering that is happening around here.

This has been a quiet day at home. I walked the dogs a couple of times but other than that I haven’t done much. I have been binge watching a series on Netflix called “You Can’t Ask That”. It is a series of interviews with a variety of people. They have interviewed people out of prison, people with various additions, people with a terminal diagnosis, etc. Fascinating interviews and very well done. I highly recommend it.

I have another quiet day at home tomorrow. Maybe I will get something done then. Maybe not! I seem to have gotten pretty good at doing nothing these days.

Still waiting on hearing back from Gentle Thunder as to what time of day on January 20 she is available to do a ceremony for us. Once I get a time set I will send out more details. Once I know how many people might be interested in participating I will find a space that will accommodate us. Not sure if we will need to be laying down or sitting in chairs as I am not yet sure what exactly she will be doing.

I have been reading lots of 2025 predictions. Most are saying that we are in for a ride. However, they are also saying that staying authentic and true to yourself is going to be critical. Doing your own work and staying grounded and regulated is essential. There will be lots of outer distractions that will attempt to pull you into a constant state of fear. Those that can tune that out and remember that we are love and that is the state with which we will respond to life will have an easier ride.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for TV that shows real people dealing with real life issues, and grateful for a beautiful winter day.

I was on the road at 11:00 this morning headed to Council Grove. I had lunch with a dear friend. We talked for over two hours together. I love deep conversations with a safe friend.

Afterwards I went to another friend’s house that recently moved to Council Grove and had another deep conversation. I was a lucky woman today to get to spend time with these two dear friends.

I came home and took a nap. I didn’t sleep well last night and needed a bit of sleep to get me through the evening. I woke up and had some pot roast that I had put in the crock pot before I left this morning. The house still smells divine from the roast cooking all day.

Tomorrow I get to stay home all day. I don’t have any plans this weekend so will spend a quiet day or two at home. I have several things on my to do list if I find the energy and motivation to do them.

Next Monday I get to spend the day with Ellexia. We are going to KC to help her spend her Christmas money. We are meeting up with Nicole for lunch and then shopping until we drop. That will be a fun but exhausting day. Friday I have exercise in the afternoon but have a quiet week otherwise.

It was a good day. Anytime I get to spend time with like minded great friends is a good day. I am so blessed to have several in my life. It was good for me to get out of the house today and interact with others. I sometimes can spend too much time alone.

Grateful for the time I got to spend with dear friends today, grateful for a winter’s nap, and grateful for delicious pot roast and carrots.

I went to Emporia today to deliver Jason’s Christmas presents and I took some cinnamon rolls to Michelle. It was good to see both of the kids and have a short conversation with them. I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things and then came back home. Traffic was a bit heavy. It was still foggy around noon time.

I haven’t done much else today. I decided to give myself another rest day to recharge and refill. I am going to Council Grove tomorrow to meet a dear friend for lunch. It will be good to meet with her as we always have a deep conversation and I feel like I need one of those.

I heard from the lady that did the sound bath in Sedona. She is to get back to me soon about timing. It sounds like she is available on Inauguration Day just not sure what time or what she will be doing. I’m excited that she is willing to do something for us. She is incredibly talented and I am eager for my friends to get to experience her.

I have a roast thawing in the refrigerator. I need to remember to put it in the crock pot before I leave for lunch tomorrow. I have a lot of beef that I need to use up. I forget to thaw something and use it.

No plans for the weekend. Monday Ellexia and I are going to KC to go shopping and have lunch with Nicole. That will be a fun day I’m sure. Ellexia is fun to be around and it will be fun to have lunch with Nicole.

I have a quiet week other than the trip to KC Monday. I moved exercise to Friday. I rarely make plans for New Year’s Eve. I don’t like crowds and noise and it feels better for me to stay home. A quiet evening with a few friends would be fun but I don’t know if I have the energy to plan something. We shall see what happens.

Feeling a bit restless tonight. Not sure what is behind that and doing my best to allow it to be what it is. Christmas is a hard season for me and I have some releasing to do. Maybe I can cry myself to sleep tonight and allow the tears to help wash these heavy feelings away.

Grateful to get to see two of my kids today, grateful the lady from Sedona will do a ceremony for my friends on Inauguration Day, and grateful I know how to release these hard feelings.

I got up and got the chili cooking. Went back to bed for an hour. Got up and made cinnamon rolls and cleaned up the kitchen.

Jason and his girlfriend were going to come over at 11:45 to eat and watch the KC Chiefs game.

Kathy left at 1:00 to go to our friend’s house to join a group of our dear friends. I stayed behind waiting for Jason to come. He text me around 2:00 and said his fever was back and he had slept all morning. He felt bad that he didn’t come over.

It was a quiet day home alone for me. I watched the game and then took the dogs on a long walk. It was a bit nippy out today but not too bad for the end of December.

Tomorrow will be another stay at home day for me. My third in a row. I still have some house work I would like to get done if the mood strikes.

I have extra cinnamon rolls so need to find a home for some of them. I took a couple of them to a friend that is home sick with the rest of her family. Friday I am going to Council Grove to meet a friend for lunch. I will take some to the friend I am meeting and will go to Emporia either before or after I go to Council Grove and will take some to Jason and Michelle along with Jason’s Christmas presents.

Somehow it felt right that I spent Christmas Day alone. I have worked hard this year to break my co-dependency and people pleasing tendencies. I could have gone to my friend’s house and jointed the fun I am sure they had today but I felt called to be alone. I am more at ease with spending time alone with myself now than I have ever been in my whole life.

For some reason I feel that 2025 will call me to spend even more time alone. I have the internal resources to see my way through whatever the world will throw at me in 2025. I haven’t always felt that way and it feels good to be in this place. I do cherish the time I spend with my dear friends and family and will continue to make that a priority in 2025. However, I need to balance that with an abundance of personal, quiet time. It will take lots of energy to keep myself above neutral with what is headed our way in 2025. I am grateful to be in a place to know what I need to do to stay balanced and above neutral.

Grateful for a quiet day at home alone, grateful I am in a good head space right now, and grateful Christmas is over for the year.

As I wrote the date I remembered it is Christmas Eve. Since we had our family Christmas Saturday it felt like Christmas had come and gone. I am so messed up on what day of the week it is and its relationship to Christmas Day.

Jason and his girlfriend are coming over tomorrow to watch the game and to have chili with me. I so appreciate that. Maybe I will find some last minute Christmas spirit.

I didn’t get much done today. I watch a new movie on Netflix called the Six Triple Eight. Hard to watch but so well done. We still have a long way to go to combat racism in America. It hurt my heart to watch.

I did a bit of work cleaning out my kitchen but didn’t find too much. I still need to do the pantry and reduce it big time. It is so cluttered it is hard to find anything. I have a bunch of stuff I need to carry to the shed and didn’t have the energy to do that today.

Tomorrow I am going to make a crock pot of chili and some cinnamon rolls. It’s a Kansas thing to put those two things together. I don’t have a lot of Christmas treats left over for Jason so will make him something fresh.

I get to stay home Thursday I think. That will make three days in a row – Yay! Friday I am driving to Council Grove to meet a friend for lunch. I don’t have any plans for the weekend. Monday Ellexia and I are going shopping in KC. We are meeting Nicole for lunch while we are in KC. Not sure where we are going shopping but I know Ellexia will know where she wants to go. That girl likes to shop.

Both Kathy and I have been rather quiet the last couple of days. We both feel deeply and it is a hard time of year for both of us. I am grateful that Winter Solstice has come and the light will gradually start to return.

I contacted the lady that did the sound bath in Sedona but I haven’t heard back from her. She may be out of town with the holidays and will get back to me after the New Year. If she can’t do something January 20 I want to come up with Plan B.

I have a quiet January coming up. That feels good. Things have felt a bit too busy for me and it is time for me to slow things down. I need to make sure I am well grounded and centered. The outer world feels huge to me right now and it feels like things are going to get even bigger. It will be important to me that I stay grounded and centered and not get pulled into the outer chaos. I do myself and the world no good if I fall below neutral and stay there.

Grateful for another stay at home day, grateful Jason is coming over tomorrow, and grateful for movies that teach our history lessons.

I went to Emporia at 11:00 this morning for exercise at 11:30. The session went by quickly and I had a deep conversation with my trainer.

Afterwards I went to lunch and then to Walmart. Walmart was packed today with people doing last minute Christmas stuff. I had to climb on my hands and knees to pull out the sack of dog food I needed. Got the stuff to make some chili for Christmas Day and got out of there.

I asked for some help to get the bag of dog food out of the cart and into my car. The man that helped me was most kind. Last time I attempted to remove a bag from the shopping cart I tipped the shopping cart over. I am proud of myself for asking for help. Life is easier since I have learned how to do that.

I am almost done with cleaning my room. I went through my closet and got rid of five bags of clothes that no longer fit. I cleaned out my underwear and sock basket and my nightstand drawers.

Delivered two plates of cookies to my neighbors. I still have more plates to deliver tomorrow. The lady behind my house shared garden produce with us all summer long. It was past time I returned the sharing.

Tomorrow I plan on starting going through the kitchen and getting rid of anything I haven’t used since I moved into this house. I have hosted the major holidays and I figure if I haven’t used it by now, I won’t use it.

Cooking in this house for Thanksgiving and Christmas reinforced the message that this house will only hold what I absolutely need. When I pack too much stuff in it the house doesn’t work well for me. I will have lots of kitchen stuff to get rid of. If anyone knows someone that is starting out and needs serving dishes, etc. let me know and I will be happy to share. Otherwise it is going to Goodwill.

I have a box of books to get rid of too. I will take them to the library for the next book sale unless someone wants them. Most are romance type books. My bookshelves only hold so much and I have to adopt the one in one out policy or the bookshelves get overloaded.

Cleaning out my bedroom has been on my to do list a long time. Feels great that I was finally able to tackle it. Sometimes getting frustrated with the lack of space is a good thing as it motivates me to declutter. I needed to strike while that feeling was still hot.

I think I get to start a stretch of stay at home days. Town was too peopley for me today. I am going to meet a friend for lunch in Council Grove on Friday but think I get to stay home until then.

I texted with Jason today and he thinks he wants to come here for Christmas Day to watch the football game and eat chili. I was going to a friend’s house but will stay home instead. Somehow that feels right to me. I would have had a good time if I went to my friend’s house but am feeling the need to stay home for a bit and totally recharge. I invited Michelle to come too but don’t know if that will happen. Jason was sick when we had our family Christmas Day Saturday so it will be good to spend a day with him.

I sent an email to the lady that did my sound bath when I was in Sedona to see if she could do something remotely the day of inauguration January 20. I need an alternative to watching the news that day. If she is able to do something remotely I will host a gathering that day. Let me know if you would like to be included and I will send details as they develop.

My trainer sent me a Substack article entitled “Forming the New American Resistance by malcolmnance.substack.com”. The author had some excellent ideas about action steps we can take. One of them is taking a 100 hour media break starting the day of the inauguration January 20. I will do that and trust that others will join us. If you are interested in the article let me know and I will forward it to you.

One thing I like to do at the end of each year is do a deep clean of the house and release things that are no longer serving me. It clears out the energy of the house and makes room for something better to come in. I am a bit amazed at how much stuff I am finding to release since I spent the first half of 2024 releasing stuff. Feels good to go through things again and get rid of even more things.

Grateful to be starting on cleaning and clearing the house of things that no longer serve, grateful for resources that teach me positive ways to be in resistance, and grateful Jason is coming Christmas Day.

This has been a rest and recovery day. I didn’t get much done at all today. I did wash and dry two loads of laundry but don’t have them folded and put away yet. I have had no energy at all today.

I attempted to take a nap in my chair but was only able to doze off for a short bit. Woke up feeling a bit more refreshed but that wasn’t enough for me to get up and do something productive.

Tomorrow I have exercise at 11:30 instead of 2:00. My trainer had a cancellation and asked if I could come in a bit early. It will be good to get it out of the way early. I need to stop and pick up a few groceries while I am in town and I also need to drop off Jason’s Christmas packages. I have been concentrating on getting things for Christmas treats and I have forgotten to get food for me to eat.

I didn’t make it out to deliver Christmas treats today. Hoping tomorrow I will be in the mood to do that. I couldn’t people today.

I have been invited to a friend’s house on Christmas Day. Hoping I will be in the mood to go. I’m sure it will be fun if I can make myself go. Feeling the need to hibernate for a bit and allow some hard feelings to come and go. Tis the season for me to allow and let go.

I do need to go meet up with Tagen and take care of changing the utilities to his name. He is starting a new job and not sure when he is off. We also need to get the truck registered and get the permanent tags on it.

I am starting a no spend period. I want to see how long I can go without spending money on anything but essentials. The longest I have even lasted is about 90 days. Hoping to beat that record this year. I like to play games with myself – it helps me find old habits and patterns within. The hardest part about breaking an old habit is discovering you have it.

Grateful for a rest day at home, grateful Solstice reminds me the light is returning, and grateful my to do list can wait another day.

Christmas 2024 is a wrap. We had a delightful day watching the Chiefs win their game and eating lots of food. Jason was sick today and couldn’t come but Tagen and his girlfriend made it.

We ate all day long – sitting in the living room watching the game. I had fixed some appetizers and then we shifted to the main dishes but never did fix a real plate and eat a meal. It was very informal and fun. The kids each made a gingerbread house which turned out to be fun. We played some games and did a white elephant exchange. Very low key and relaxing day.

I had enough treats left over to make six plates for friends that I will deliver tomorrow. I also had enough to fix a box to send to my brother. I might make some more fudge and peanut brittle for my two brothers in Lebo. I might not find the energy to do that – we shall see.

I am working on cleaning up the kitchen. I do a batch of dishes and then come sit in my chair and after a while get up and do another batch. I am almost finished. It will be good to have my dining room table and kitchen back to normal.

I have absolutely nothing on my calendar for tomorrow. I think I will take a rest day and finish up my to do list on Monday. This week has been overly busy for me and I am ready for some down time. Monday I have to go to town for exercise but other than that I have nothing on my calendar for the week.

Ellexia is off school for the next two weeks. We are going to find a day and go to KC together. She won some money in one of the games we played today and wants to go shopping. We will have lunch with Nicole and shop till we drop. That won’t take long for me at least. I look forward to spending a day with Ellexia.

During the week next week I need to do some deep cleaning of my house. The back pantry area needs straightened up and my bedroom needs some of my time and attention. I feel like I have been shifting stuff around and haven’t taken the time to properly store things. Now that the holidays are over I need to go through my kitchen and get rid of the things I haven’t used since I moved into this house. Space is a premium in this house and I don’t have room to keep things I don’t use.

Today was a lot of fun. As always after a big day like this I feel the let down. I am so grateful I have a quiet week ahead so I can take time to feel all my feelings and relax and rest. I don’t have much on my calendar for January either. I will cherish this quiet time and refill and recharge myself.

Days when the kids come home are the best kind of days. Without Craig and Jason here I felt there was a big hole in our family gathering today. I sensed Craig’s presence though and know he was here in spirit.

Grateful for a fun day with the kids, grateful Christmas is over for this year, and grateful for a house full of love today.

Got up and got going this morning. I vacuumed the floors and did some picking up. Then I made the sugar cookies and got them frosted.

At 4:00 eight of us gathered for a Winter Solstice celebration. We did a meditation and then had a wonderful conversation. I so appreciated those that came and how vulnerable they are willing to be.

I have a cheesecake baking in the oven now and the cherry jello salad made. That is all the cooking and baking I wanted to do today.

Tomorrow I need to get the little smokies in the crockpot around 9:00 or so. I am also doing nachos so will get those going sooner or later. I am making a green been casserole but I only have two crockpots so will do those in the oven when I bake the macaroni and cheese. Jason is doing pig tails.

I still need to get something ready for a game we are doing tomorrow and then I think I will be ready. It will be a fun day for this mom to have all her kids home. Not sure if Tagen is coming as he started a new job today.

Next week is a quiet week for me. I have exercise on Monday but other than that nothing on the schedule. I am overdue for a quiet week. I do want to gift some people with some homemade treats. I’ll see how many are left over from tomorrow. I may need to make more batches of some of them so I have enough to give away.

I haven’t gotten the Christmas spirit yet. Although any day all my kids come home feels like Christmas to me.

I got the invoices today for the sewer replacement project at Tagen’s house and the roof and gutter replacement project at Jason’s house. It will hurt a bit to write those two big checks.

Today was a good day. I love having friends over and having deep conversations. The world would be a much better place if everyone had a safe circle of friends to share their lives with.

Grateful for my circle of friends, grateful I am ready for tomorrow, and grateful the kids will all be here tomorrow.

Holding my daughter Nicole and Chris’s family in my heart today. Eight years ago today he made his transition. Anniversary dates call us to remember Chris and his life and the love that he shared with us all. We will carry him forever in our hearts.

I didn’t sleep much at all last night. It was a long night laying in bed trying to sleep.

I got some of the things off my to do list done today. Most important is I got to stay home all day today. It feels like it has been a hot minute since that has happened.

I dusted the living room and did my laundry. I even got the laundry folded and put away. I wrapped the few Christmas presents I am giving Saturday. I made one batch of fudge and a pan of peanut butter bars. Got the bourbon slush made and put in the freezer.

Still have sugar cookies to make as well as peanut butter Ritz treats. Need to go to town tomorrow and get a grab bag gift and go to a bank and get the right bills I need for our game. I also want to make a cheesecake for dessert for our lunch Saturday. I got some cleaning done today but will need to finish the rest tomorrow.

I am beginning to think I may not get everything done. I might have to cross off a thing or two. I do need to unload the dining room table so we have somewhere to sit for lunch Saturday. My kitchen cabinets don’t have room for the extra things I got to use to make treats and for our lunch on Saturday. It will be good to have our dining room table back.

Tomorrow afternoon at 4:00 is our Winter Solstice ceremony. I look forward to these ceremonies. This ceremony is the best part of the holiday season for me. It helps give me focus for the coming year and helps me release any thing I am carrying from this year that doesn’t need to carry over to the new year.

I haven’t mailed my brother Gene his Christmas package yet. I won’t get to it until next week. I’ll see how many treats the kids take home and will probably have to make more the first of the week. I have several people I want to gift a plate of homemade goodies and not sure I have enough yet. I don’t have anything on my calendar next week so will have time to make second batches as needed.

I realized today how I don’t function well doing last minute things anymore. I used to be able to multi task with the best of them and get lots done. My pace of doing things has slowed down. I would do a couple things and then sit and rest for a bit and rinse and repeat all day. I am running way behind this year but am realizing if I don’t get things done it won’t really matter much.

Grateful to cross some things off my to do list, grateful some of the house got cleaned today, and grateful for the sleep I will get tonight.

What a busy day. I haven’t been home much at all today.

I went to a breakfast at a friend’s house. I left the house before 10:00 this morning and didn’t get home until 1:30 or so. We had a fun conversation and I enjoyed the time I spent. I had a haircut at 4:00 so had to leave for Emporia at 3:30.

After my haircut I needed to finish up getting the things I need for Saturday. Walmart was a bit of a zoo. Lots of people doing last minute Christmas shopping. They were out of the pretzels I wanted. I used the self check out line and attempted to purchase six gift certificate cards. The machine shut me down and the clerk had to come over. She said I had to go to the service counter to purchase the gift cards. There was a long line at the service counter and I didn’t want to wait.

I stopped at the ATM by Taco Bell and got some cash.

I went to Dollar General in CWF and got the gift cards I needed. Evidently there are a lot of scams happenings with gift cards right now and I had to pay in cash. Good thing I had stopped to get cash. They didn’t have the pretzels I needed either.

I went next door to Casey’s and they had the pretzels I wanted. Then I stopped by the ATM in CWF to get cash to replace what I used to get the gift cards. I finally got home around 7:00.

Too much people today! I am ready for a stay at home day tomorrow. I have a lot to get done as I didn’t get the sugar cookies made today.

Tagen let me know the plumber came today and took care of the sewer line. I stopped by his house and checked it out. It looks like they are done with that project. It is good to get that project crossed off my pending list.

I have a very busy day tomorrow. I need to clean the house, bake sugar cookies, make peanut butter bars and at least one batch of fudge. I trust I will wake up with lots of energy tomorrow and will able to get it all done.

Friday some friends are coming over for a Winter Solstice celebration. I need to give some time and thought to planning that. Saturday the kids will all be here before noon as the KC Chiefs game starts at noon. Next week I only have exercise at 2:00 on Monday and as far as I know now the rest of the week is free. I am so looking forward to that. It feels like December has flown by and I need to slow things down a bit.

Not sure what I am doing Christmas Day yet. I am invited over to a friend’s house for the day. I need to find out what my kids are doing and if anyone is free to come over. If so, I will stay home with them and watch the football game.

Still can’t quite understand that Christmas is Saturday for my family. I have not had even a bit of Christmas spirit yet. It will happen either way. I will enjoy having the kids home and spending the day with them Saturday.

I want to give some thought as to what my word for the year will be. This year my word was grace. I learned how to offer myself grace. With all that is happening in the world right now, I want a word that reminds me to continually make a connection with myself. Not sure what word captures that but am sure it will come to me.

Grateful this busy day is over, grateful I got what I need for Saturday, and grateful the plumbing project at Tagen’s house is done.

I had a slow start to my day. I would wake up and decide I was still tired and rest some more. Had some weird dreams during my short rest periods.

Today was chocolate Christmas treat day. I made peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate, pretzels dipped in chocolate and with the extra chocolate I put some pecans in it and made pecan clusters.

I went to a Christmas happy hour at a friend’s house. There were eight of us enjoying special Christmas treats and the beverage of our choice. It was a fun gathering and I always enjoy visiting with dear friends.

I came home and put all the chocolate goodies away. When I get done blogging I need to clean up the kitchen. I make a big mess when I cook. I had to get creative when I was dipping chocolate today. I put a cutting board over the silverware drawer and then set the pan of chocolate on the cutting board. It helped create a bit more space and made it easier.

Tomorrow I am going to a breakfast around 10:00 and I have a haircut in Emporia at 4:00. I have some last minute stuff I need to pick up while I am in town tomorrow. I still haven’t decided on the games we are going to do and need to make a decision soon so I can get what I need tomorrow so I don’t have to go back to town before Saturday.

Thursday is going to be my only stay at home day this week. I have lots of cleaning I need to do. Hoping I will find some time between events tomorrow to get the sugar cookies made. I also need to make the peanut butter bars. I will make the fudge on Friday and then I think I will be done making Christmas treats. I may need to make second batches of some of the things as I have several people I want to take a plate of goodies to.

Looking forward to having the family all here on Saturday. Those are my favorite days whenever I get to spend time with my family.

After Saturday things slow back down for me. I am looking forward to that too. December has flown by and I feel like I haven’t had much down time lately.

I was talking about the retreat today and realized that the vortex peeled away a layer from me. Somehow it is easier for me to know truth now. Not sure how that happened but am grateful for it. That is something I have been working on and speaking and living my truth is one of my goals for 2025.

Grateful the chocolate goodies are made, grateful for friends to gather with, and grateful slowly but surely I am getting ready for Saturday and Christmas with the kids.

I got home at 1:00 last night and finally turned the lights off at 2:00. I slept hard for two hours and then woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. I gave up around 7:00 and started my day.

I did three loads of laundry and got some of them folded and put away. I got tired and took a nap in my chair for about two hours.

I headed for Emporia around 12:30. I had some errands to run before exercise. I took care of my errands and then went to exercise. It was hard today as I am still tired and a bit sore from sitting so much yesterday.

After exercise I went to Good Saver and got my groceries for family day. I wasn’t up to going to Walmart and the smaller grocery store fit the bill for me today. I wasn’t sure I had enough energy to get all on my list but I managed to do so.

I came home and put things away. I haven’t done much else this afternoon and evening. I am still tired and sore and have little energy today. My tummy is still a bit angry at me and I have had to stay close to a toilet today. I know I am still a bit dehydrated today and have been working on getting lots of liquids down.

I may regret not getting more done today. I have somewhere to be every day this week and I don’t have lots of free time. I still have lots to do to get ready for Saturday family day. Hoping I have more energy tomorrow and I can get things done.

Tomorrow I am going to a Christmas open house in the afternoon. Hoping I get my chocolate candies made tomorrow so I can take some with me. Wednesday I am going to a breakfast and then have a haircut in the afternoon. Thursday I am hoping to have a stay at home day and get my cleaning done as well as some more treats made. Friday I am hosting a Winter Solstice and Saturday is family day. Oh my, I can do this!

Still thinking about the retreat leader and the type of job she did. I am waiting for her to send me a link so I can leave a review and what I might want to say.

I found the website and Facebook page of the sound bath lady. She really was one of the highlights of the retreat and I hope our paths cross again somehow some way.

It is good to be back home. It is always the best part of going away. Don’t feel like I have all gotten all the way home yet though. Thinking by tomorrow I will be here completely.

I just realized I forgot to put the sheets from my bed in the dryer. I was thinking I was going to bed early but now I get to wait until they are dry. Maybe I will find some energy and get something done while I am waiting for them to dry.

After Saturday Christmas will be done with for me this year. December has gone by much quicker for me than it normally does. I still haven’t caught the Christmas spirit but that is OK. It will come and go regardless.

I noticed on the retreat how I have changed. I knew immediately the retreat leader was not authentic and was not to be trusted. I kept my distance from her and did not engage with her. It felt like we were from different realities. In the past I would have over rode my intuition and would have tried to bridge the gap between us. Not sure that ever worked but that wouldn’t have stoped me in the past. I was able to take care of myself this time and not let her level of consciousness affect mine.

Grateful for a morning nap after a night of little sleep, grateful the groceries I need for Saturday are in the house, and grateful my sheets are in the dryer at last.

I was almost asleep last night and remembered I hadn’t blogged. Decided it could wait till today. Hope I remember what happened yesterday. When I travel, the days tend to blur together.

I went to morning yoga but didn’t stay long. I wasn’t feeling the best and the instructor was doing things I had never done before and at a pace I knew I couldn’t keep up.

Had some tummy issues so decided not to go on the hike to the vortex. I couldn’t be too far away from the toilet. I took a nap and then went out and found some lunch. Came back to our place and took another nap.

The group got back around 2:30. They made mandalas but weren’t going to be able to take them home. I decided to skip that program. They didn’t get fed lunch until after 3:30.

After Nicole ate we went out and went to a shopping village of some sort. The prices were high and it was crowded. We looked around for a bit and then walked across the street and up a hill to an Italian restaurant. We were both craving real meat as the retreat only served vegan meals. Both of us had a delicious meal. We went back to the retreat center and visited with some of the other participants.

At 7:00 Gentle Thunder did a sound bath that was the best part of the retreat for me. She created a safe space and I trusted her immediately. She sang, played sound bowls, drummed, used chimes and her voice. About halfway through I was startled with a sound she made. It pulled me out of the trance I was in.

The sound bath was the only part of the retreat that I felt safe in. The main leader of the retreat was disorganized and passive-aggressive. When we first arrived at the house she was busy putting things away in the kitchen and didn’t stop to greet us. I assumed she was the hired cook for the weekend. When I first came out of my room the door locked behind me. I asked her for some help and she said I don’t know what to tell you. Nicole was able to get the door unlocked. We then asked her about having her follow us to the charging port for our car and she told Nicole maybe. Those actions don’t exactly build trust with the leader.

Today we went to a Stupa for a closing ceremony. It was a beautiful park that had prayer flags and two Stupas. We walked around them three times doing a walking prayer. Afterwards we had a closing ceremony and hugged each other goodbye. I struggled a bit to say something nice to the leader. I could not recommend anyone go to her retreat.

I am grateful I went. Nicole and I made the best of it and enjoyed some of the participants. The sound bath and the hot air balloon ride were the highlight of the trip for me as well as the time with Nicole.

We are sitting at the Phoenix airport. We are booked on a 6:50 flight and are on standby for a 3:00 flight that is delayed by 30 minutes. Crossing my fingers and toes we can get out of here early.

It will be good to get home later tonight. I have a busy week ahead of me and lots to do to get ready for our family Christmas on Saturday.

Grateful for this trip to Sedona, grateful for this time with Nicole, and grateful to be headed home today.

Our day started with an hour yoga session. I did OK keeping up for the most part. I sat some of the moves out. The instructor was great but did more advanced stuff than I do in exercise sessions.

We had breakfast and then left for our adventure of the day. We went to some scenic place and took a short hike and did a meditation.

Then we went to a vortex and took a hike. Had some free time to explore the creek and paths. Some dipped their feet in the freezing cold water. I wasn’t brave enough to do so today.

We had a picnic lunch at the vortex site and then came back to our house.

Nicole had taken our electric car to the charging port this morning. One of the other participants had followed her and then brought her back to the house. When we got back after lunch another participant took us to pick up the car. It had charged to 95% which was a relief.

Nicole and I stopped at a grocery store and picked up some snacks. We are both craving protein and meat. The food we have been getting is vegan. It feels like it is all processed food though and it feels fake to me.

I took a short nap when we got back from the grocery store. Nicole enjoyed a massage. They took us to a vegan restaurant for dinner tonight. There wasn’t much on the menu that sounded good to me. I ended up with a margarita pizza which was edible.

When we got back to the house a lady that read Tarot cards was here and she did a mini reading for all that wanted one. Mine seemed to resonate but I don’t remember much about it.

Tomorrow we are going to a different vortex in the morning and then in the evening we are going to enjoy a sound bath.

It has been an interesting retreat. Neither one of us are impressed with the retreat leader. She is unorganized and a bit passive-aggressive. I don’t feel safe with her as she doesn’t listen well and follow up with questions or comments. She tends to make snarky comments back to deflect issues that need to be addressed.

In spite of that, we are both grateful we came. The area is beautiful and it is nice to spend time together. Always something to learn about myself even when the circumstances are not the best.

Grateful for a beautiful day outside enjoying Mother Nature, grateful our car got charged up today, and grateful for this time with Nicole.

Got up bright and early this morning. I got up an hour too early as my phone didn’t automatically change to adjust for the time change. Oops! Went back to sleep for a bit and got up at 5:15.

We left the hotel at 5:45 and headed to the small airport in Phoenix to meet the crew for the hot air balloon ride. We loaded into a van and made a quick potty stop and then headed to the field where the hot air balloon pilot was. For some reason they changed locations and we drove to a different spot for take off.

It took the crew about 20 minutes to get the balloons ready for lift off. It was fun watching them unpack it and then inflate it. We were given the green light to get into the basket. Luckily they had steps which made getting in the basket easier.

The basket held 12 people plus the pilot. We quietly lifted off as the ground crew untied the ropes holding us down.

The ride itself was so peaceful and quiet. It was a brisk morning but when the pilot would release the fuel and the burn happened it would warm me up.

The bird’s eye view of Phoenix was beautiful. We got to a maximum altitude of 2,800 feet and floated for 5 miles.

They warned us the landing might be jumpy but it was very smooth. I didn’t feel much of a bump when we landed.

Exiting the balloon was interesting. I managed to get out fairly gracefully – one of the crew told me he rated my dismount as a 9.5!

We were served breakfast and had a champagne toast. After breakfast we loaded into the vans and they drove us back to the starting point of the adventure.

Nicole and I headed for Sedona which was about a 90 minute drive from the small airport in Phoenix. It was a beautiful drive through the mountains.

When we got to Sedona we started looking for a place to charge the car. We weren’t given good instructions when we picked the car up. We found a charging spot and Nicole managed to figure out how to hook up the car. We sat in the car for about 30 minutes and realized it was going to take about 8 hours to fully charge the car.

We decided to go to lunch while the car was charging. We found a place that was within walking distance of where we were and left the car charging. We stopped at a wonderful crystal magic shop we found on our way to the restaurant.

Lunch was good, service was excellent. The waitress told us about an art gallery that was fun to visit.

We went back to the car and found we had gone from 34% charged to 54% charged. We realized we couldn’t get to 90% which is what we need to be to take the trip back to Phoenix. We decided we need to come up with Plan B.

We went to the art gallery and walked around it. Found a different charging station and let the car charge for another hour. When we found out we could check into our place for the retreat we left and headed there.

One of the other retreat participants is going to follow us to a charging port in the morning and we will get the car hooked up and then leave it all day. They will take us back to the car when we return from our adventure of the day.

I took a nap in my room when we got checked in. I hadn’t slept much last night and needed a rest.

We sat and visited with the other members of the group while we waited for dinner to be ready. They were running over an hour late with dinner.

Dinner was finally served around 7:30. After dinner we had our first group meeting with the facilitator of the group and did some sharing. The facilitator is disorganized but she nailed most of the group with what they need to work on during the retreat. I think I intimidated her a bit but whatever.

Our group session went until 10:00. I am tired and ready for a long night’s sleep.

Tomorrow we are going to a vortex and in the afternoon are doing some group activity. We have free time from 3:00 – 6:00. Then have some sort of group activity again in the evening.

The balloon ride was on my bucket list and I’m so grateful Nicole thought to plan that for us. It was well worth the money spent.

Have had a wonderful time visiting with Nicole. There are a couple of participants that I am looking forward to spending time with. Most are young women which is nice to see they are healing and growing. I am the oldest one in the group but I am used to that.

I have given myself permission to excuse myself from any group activity that I decide I don’t want to participate in. This retreat appears to be intended for beginner level which is not what I had anticipated. Regardless, it will be time well spent especially since Nicole is with me.

Grateful to cross off a hot air balloon ride from my bucket list, grateful for a safe car trip from Phoenix to Sedona, and grateful for this time with Nicole.

Happy birthday to my granddaughter Ellexia. She turns 15 today. I dropped her presents off at her house on my way out of town this afternoon. I won’t get to see her until the 21st. She is a delightful young lady that has a sensitive and caring heart.

Made it to our hotel in Phoenix. Our flight was on time and smooth. Had a wait to get the rental car of over 30 minutes but that was our only delay today.

We got an electric car – this will be an adventure. It isn’t a Tesla so hoping we can find a charging station somewhere in Sedona to charge it. Not sure how we do that but we will figure that all out tomorrow.

Geoff drove us to the airport which made it easy. There was no line at all for security. We ate at a pizza place at the airport and the food was good.

The drive to KC was smooth although there seemed to be more traffic than normal. Guess the Christmas rush has begun. I never hit stop and go traffic but there were lots of cars on the road. Of course I am used to Chase County traffic and more than five cars there seems like a lot.

We have to get up at 5:15 in the morning so we can leave by 5:45. We have a 30 minute drive to the hot air balloon place. Lift off is at 6:30 and it is a three to four hour adventure in the morning. The balloon ride itself is about 45 minutes and then they drive us back to the starting point.

After that we will drive into Sedona. We can’t check in until 4:00 so will have time to find a car charger and get that taken care of while we are eating lunch – at least that is plan A. When you travel to new places one has to stay flexible and figure things out on the go.

We have had a smooth start to this adventure. Fingers crossed that will continue.

Grateful for this time with Nicole, grateful for a smooth flight, and grateful we are tucked in safe and sound for the evening.

I got a slow start to my day. I would wake up and be up for an hour or two and then sleep for an hour or two all night. Hard to feel rested after a night’s sleep like that.

I went out early afternoon to do an errand and discovered I had a low tire. Dropped my car off at Dieker’s and walked home. They could see the nail and it was in a bad spot and told me they may not be able to fix it. I called them a little after 4:00 and the car was ready so I walked up to pick it up. Luckily they did their magic and were able to fix the tire. This is the same tire I had a flat on a month or so ago. I rarely get flat tires and this car that has less than 6,000 miles has had two. Trusting this is not going to become a trend.

I did laundry today so when I get ready to pack all my clothes will be clean and ready to go. I did get my pill box ready and found all the electronic charging cords I need to take. It won’t take me long to throw four days of clothes in a suitcase and be ready to go.

I got Ellexia’s birthday presents in a bag and ready to take to her tomorrow. Hard to believe she will be 14 already. I trust she will have a fun day and birthday week.

Haven’t felt the best today. Low energy and a bit congested. I have sneezed a lot this week for some reason. Thinking it is allergies although I am not sure to what. Trusting by tomorrow I will be ready to go and this won’t develop into anything.

I did get our family day menu figured out and a grocery list made so when I get home next week I can easily get what I need to make the dinner happen. Jason is fixing pig tails so that will be easy for me. We discovered the Chiefs are playing at noon that Saturday so we moved the party up to noon so we all can enjoy the game. We will eat at halftime.

I am to be at Nicole’s house by 4:30 tomorrow. I plan on leaving at 2:00 as I have to stop in Emporia and drop off Ellexia’s birthday presents. Geoff is taking us to the airport and Nicole and I plan on eating dinner at the airport once we get through security. We have a 6:55 flight direct to Phoenix and arrive at 8:50. We are renting a car and driving to a hotel near the airport.

Thursday morning we have a hot air balloon ride at 6:30. After that we will drive to Sedona. I think our retreat starts around 4:30 Thursday afternoon. It is over Sunday morning around 10:00. We will drive back to Phoenix and fly home Sunday evening.

Grateful Kathy is here to take care of things for me while I am gone. It is a lot to have to walk the dogs four times a day with no backup help. The dogs prefer her company to mine so I know they are in good hands.

Fifteen days till Christmas Day. I am running behind this year being ready. I haven’t felt even a touch of Christmas spirit yet. If I remember right I never did last year either. Life goes on either way. My relationship with time is so wonky these days that I have trouble knowing it is even December. With being gone the rest of the week Christmas will be here before I know it. That is a good thing – I’m ready for it to be over and the New Year can begin.

Grateful it is almost time to leave for Sedona, grateful I didn’t have to replace a tire today, and grateful I discovered the flat tire today so it didn’t delay me tomorrow.

Kathy had to work this morning so I had to get up and let the dogs out. I tried to go back to sleep but didn’t get there so I got up.

I headed to Emporia around 11:30. I stopped and mailed my Christmas cards. Felt good to have them on their way. Then I stopped at Clark’s and paid the bill for the water line replacement. It was about what I expected it to be.

When I got to Emporia I stopped at Guion’s and got Tagen a new washer and dryer. Michelle and I are sharing the cost. It will be Tagen’s birthday and Christmas present. That’s what happens when you grow up I guess! I was surprised when they told me they could drop them off today.

Then I headed to Sutherland’s to get the dryer cord and vent stuff and the washer water lines and drain hose. I took those by Tagen’s house and dropped them off and let them know the washer and dryer would be delivered this afternoon. I didn’t pay the extra to have Guion’s install them. Trusting Tagen can figure that out. I did tell him it was important that he get the washer and dryer inside the house today. I don’t want them to sit outside all night. I’m afraid someone will steal them and I don’t think it would be good for them to be out in freezing temperatures.

While I was at Sutherland’s I picked up a space heater for Ellexia. She text me earlier and said her bedroom was freezing cold. I have had the heater guys over there and there is nothing they can do. The venting for the furnace was not installed properly and it can’t be fixed. Ellexia’s birthday is Wednesday and the space heater will be part of her gifts.

I went to the sporting goods store at the mall and got two new pair of pants. I ruined a pair painting and I needed another pair to take on the trip to AZ. I will be gone for five days and I only have four pair.

I went to exercise at 2:00. A little over halfway through the iPad that shows the video I exercise to quit as the battery had run out. It wanted rebooted and my trainer wasn’t sure how to do that so we called the session quit early. The lady from KU was there today so I stopped and visited with her. She is responsible for laying eyes on us monthly and asking how the program is going for us.

I stopped at the Dollar General store to get a birthday gift bag to put Ellexia’s presents in. I will drop off her presents on my way out of town Wednesday. I have to leave before she gets out of school but at least she will have her presents on her birthday.

The plumber for the sewer line replacement project at Tagen’s house called me this morning and gave me his bid. It was about twice what I had hoped it might be but the project needs to be done. My drain guy who I trust recommended this plumber. They might start the project later this week but will definitely be on the job the first of next week. That is quicker than I expected. They are rushing against the weather as they can’t do it until spring if we get a hard freeze several days in a row. I appreciate that they are going to attempt to get it done this year.

I drove by Jason’s house and the shingles are on the roof but they haven’t started laying them yet. Betting they will be there sometime yet this week.

Felt good to get somethings crossed off my to-do list. Last night I ordered Ellexia her Christmas presents on-line so both Ellexia and Tagen are covered for their birthdays and Christmas. Fingers crossed everything comes in on time. Ellexia is old enough to understand if they don’t.

Tomorrow I think I get to stay home all day. I would like to get a treat or two made if the mood strikes. I also need to make a packing list so I can pull things together Wednesday morning. I am meeting Nicole at 4:30 Wednesday afternoon and her husband is going to drive us to the airport. We will get checked in and hopefully have time to grab a bite to eat before our flight to Phoenix.

It will be a busy couple of days when I get home next week. Family Christmas is Saturday, December 21 and I have lots to do for it. I am looking forward to some time with Nicole and seeing the beautiful landscape of the Southwest.

Planning to go on a money diet come the first of the year. I have spent lots of money this year improving four houses. I play games with money and myself and it is time to start a new game. One year I attempted to go 90 days without buying anything other than groceries. Spending can become a habit and I play games with myself to see what my habits are. Maybe it is time I break up with Amazon for a while. Amazon makes it way too easy for me to buy things. I detest shopping in stores so if I make Amazon go away maybe I can go longer than 90 days not buying anything.

Grateful the grandkids Christmas and birthday shopping is done, grateful I crossed somethings off my to-do list today, and grateful over time I have changed my relationship with money.

I spent a quiet day at home. I needed today at home. As Winter Solstice comes closer I am finding my relationship to time is wonky and I struggle to make much of anything important enough to do. Both of these things are part of the end of the cycle I am in. Knowing that makes it easier to accept and lean in to.

I got my Christmas cards done today. It is fun to think about each of the people I am sending one too and remember the memories we have created together. I will mail them on my way to Emporia tomorrow. Grateful that project is off my pending list. I also contacted a guy that did some work on the rental house. I hadn’t gotten a bill from him which is unusual as he is usually prompt in billing. He said he emailed it but for some reason I didn’t get it or else it went to spam and I didn’t see it before I erased my spam. Either way, I got a check ready to mail to him tomorrow.

Tomorrow I have to go to town for exercise at 2:00. I need to take Ellexia’s birthday presents to her as I will not see her Wednesday as I leave town that day. I need to stop and get her two more things and then I can deliver her presents.

I need to take care of getting one more thing for the rental house before I leave town so will take care of that tomorrow too. I also need to stop and pay the repair bill for the water line leaks at this house.

Jason let me know the shingles for his new roof have been delivered and put on top of his house so am betting they will start that project one day next week. He has a small house so should only take them a day or two to complete that job.

Looked up the forecast for the Sedona, AZ area and was surprised their high is only in the upper 50’s for the time I will be there. I wasn’t sure what type of clothes to take but now know to take stuff for cooler weather.. I was thinking I would need warm weather clothes so grateful I checked. I don’t like being too cold or too hot.

I didn’t get any fudge made today as it was cloudy today. Some years ago I discovered I have better luck making fudge when it is a sunny day. Trusting next week will have some sunny days so I can get it made. I need to get some made so I can send some to Gene as part of his Christmas present. As slow as the mail is these days his package may be late for Christmas since I won’t mail it until I come home next week.

Two more days before my short trip to AZ. It will be nice to leave my long to-do list and the Christmas pressure for a bit. I’m looking forward to the hot air balloon ride and seeing and feeling the different vortexes we will be visiting outside of Sedona. I love the southwest and look forward to returning there.

I will have lots to do when I return as I will only have six days to be ready for our family Christmas on the 21st. I will do what I can do and release the rest. Perfection is no longer on my agenda of life. We will gather and enjoy each other and that is what is most important.

Grateful the Christmas cards are ready to be mailed, grateful for a quiet day at home, and grateful for my memories of days gone by.

Got up and headed for Matfield Green at 8:30. I was pleased with how fast the newsletter was completed. There were 12 people working on it and we finished it in less than two hours. That must be a record. The Chase County Girls Basketball team volunteered and their help was most appreciated.

Afterwards we all enjoyed pizza and then I came home. I sat down in my chair when I got home and promptly fell asleep and slept for a couple of hours. Not sure why I have been so tired this week and have needed naps most days. I had broken the habit of taking naps but it seems like it has come back.

I managed to get two loads of laundry done today and have them folded and almost all put away. I haven’t made a dent in my long to-do list but there is always tomorrow.

I haven’t felt the best today. Have had a headache and just a feeling of feeling off. Not sure what is up with that. Trusting it will pass quickly.

Three days left for me to prepare for my trip to AZ Wednesday. I seriously need to give it some time and attention. For some reason, I am struggling to allow it to be a priority. Good thing I am going for four nights and won’t need to take much. With Kathy here I don’t have to worry about things here while I am gone. That makes it easy.

Tomorrow I may have a stay at home day. I would like to get started on my Christmas cards and make another couple of treats. Monday I have exercise at 2:00 and then I have a couple of errands to run. Tuesday should be another stay at home day so I can pack. I think I am going to take Christmas gifts and games off my plate until I get back from AZ. I will have six days to do it then. I can do it. At least, I think I can!

Feeling a bit disconnected tonight somehow. I have a strange relationship with time anyways and sometimes it can throw me off. Time is such an illusion and the more I step out of the false matrix the more more I realized time for what it is.

Grateful the newsletter got done in record time today, grateful for an afternoon nap, and grateful things find a way to get done.

I wasn’t ready to get up when the alarm went off this morning. I had trouble falling asleep last night and it felt like a short night of sleep.

I met Tagen at 10:0 and we went to the bank to open two accounts. Not sure why but it took over an hour to get those accounts open. The lady finally got it done and I took Tagen back home.

I went for lunch and then went to two places to look for a washer and dryer. I thought I was going to have to go to Wichita to get a set but found a set close to the price I had seen at Costco here in Emporia.

The plumber that is going to replace the sewer line at Tagen’s house came on schedule at 1:00. He ran a camera down the line and found a spot where the joint had separated and was not allowing the water to flow easily. There were lots of tree roots in the line in places too. The end of the line was full of water which the plumber said was not good.

He is to get me a bid by Monday. I guess the guy I called does the digging but works with a licensed plumber. I hadn’t heard from the guy I had called and was wondering if he was going to come through for me. The plumber said he had about three or four weeks left this year to get the work done before the ground freezes too hard and he won’t be able to do it until spring.

I came home and was exhausted. I sat in my corner chair and ended up falling asleep. I would wake up and decide I would sleep for just a bit more. Ended up sleeping for about three hours.

My cousin stopped by this evening. He brought us a beautiful poinsettia. How sweet was that? I need to find a place for it that the cats won’t bother it as I think it is dangerous and bad for cats to eat.

Tomorrow I have to be at Matfield Green at 9:00 to help with a mailing. It sounds like we will have plenty of hands so it should get done quickly. If I have time, I will go to Emporia and get the washer and dryer for Tagen.

Sunday is a stay at home and I am hoping to get some more treats made. Monday I have exercise and Tuesday I need to pack for my trip Wednesday. I have kept pushing this trip to the back burner and all of a sudden it is being moved to the front. I haven’t even made a packing list yet so I better start giving it a thought. I’m only going for four nights so I won’t need much.

Still haven’t thought of what to get some people for Christmas and what games we are going to be doing. I have two weeks left to decide and get it done. Maybe after the trip to Sedona I can pull myself together and get it done.

Winter Solstice is two weeks away. I am craving the return of the light. Sometimes these last two weeks are hard for me. I am doing my best to take good care of myself and practice good self-care. Trusting I can avoid a dip into the muck pond this year.

Grateful the sewer line project is in the works, grateful the bank accounts got opened today, and grateful for another long afternoon nap.

This has been a stay at home day but not totally easy. This is my first Christmas in this house and figuring out how to make treats has been a challenge.

I moved the cases of bottled water from the porch to the kitchen as they were freezing on the porch. I was proud of myself for finding a space for them and solved a problem. All was well until I went to put Chex Mix in the oven and couldn’t get my oven door open as the cases of water were blocking it.

I went to move the water and the partial case of water went all over the floor. I moved the water but now can’t figure out where to store it.

I made a batch of peanut brittle and that went well. I then made the
Chex Mix and after I could get it in the oven it went well. I made some M&M & Kisses on top of pretzels and that went well after I found a place to put the hot pan.

I discovered I had to clean off my dining room table so I could put the warm Chex Mix on it. I had left out all the stuff to make the Christmas treats as I don’t have room in my food pantry to put them.

This house fits what I need but nothing extra. If something gets taken out of place, it has to go back into place so you can do the next thing. I went to carry out the trash and I had taken a basket of Tupperware down to get the food processor out. I hadn’t put the basket back where it belongs and I couldn’t get out the back door to dump the trash.

Some days this small house really challenges me. I have lived here over seven months and still struggle at times with the space. Good news is 95% of the time it works.

Tomorrow I am meeting Tagen at 10:00 so we can take care of a banking issue. I’m anxious to see how his moving in is going.

It feels good to have gotten started on making Christmas treats. Three down and about six more to go. Sometimes I make a second batch of stuff but am trying to cut back this year. Last year I had too much stuff left over.

Man it felt cold out today. After enjoying the low 60’s yesterday the low 30’s felt cold today. I am grateful I got two new little heaters so Kathy and I can be warmer. This is a cold house. Not sure who put the thermostat in the laundry room and not in the main part of the house. It is a good 10 degrees colder in the living room than in the laundry room.

Wish I could get motivated to finish up my Christmas shopping. I have hit a block and can’t think of what to get anyone. I dislike Christmas anyways and all the expectations that it brings. I also equally dislike last minute stuff so am stuck a bit. It will work out – it always does.

Grateful the Christmas treat baking has begun, grateful my little house works 95% of the time, and grateful for my little heater that is keeping me warm.

It was so nice to take a hot bath before I went to bed last night and a nice shower this morning. My hair seriously needed washed after going a couple of days without being able to wash it. May I never take the small pleasure of a bath and shower for granted again.

My yard looks like I have been burying bodies in it. There is a big pile of dirt up by the sidewalk and another big pile back by the side of the house. Hoping by spring time the dirt will settle a bit and not be so obvious.

A dear friend dropped by today. I love when I can have a deep conversation with someone. I am so blessed with the friends I have. Many of us are on the same path of finding peace and love and figuring out how to live that out during these times of chaos. It does help to have others to bounce things off of and offer encouragement to each other.

I went to Emporia to get groceries so I can start making Christmas treats. Hope I didn’t forget anything. I was erasing some things off my list and erased some extra things. We shall see what I may have missed.

Came home and was tired. I slept almost all night last night but for some reason a long nap sounded so good I couldn’t resist. Trusting I will be able to sleep tonight. I have a stay at home day tomorrow so if needed I can sleep in.

While I was in town I stopped and picked up the title for Tagen’s truck. We will have to go to the court house here in Cottonwood Falls soon and get it registered.

I worked on my Christmas letter today and think it is ready to go. Now as I have time I can start getting my cards ready to mail. I like to add a personal note to each card so it can take me a bit to get them ready. With Thanksgiving so late this year, it doesn’t feel like I have lots of time before Christmas will be here.

I look forward to a stay at home day tomorrow. I hope to get some treats made and to be able to make a good start on my Christmas cards. I also have a couple of phone calls to make. I couldn’t make myself make them today. I also need to give some serious thought to what I am gifting this year. I am running out of time and it is time to make some decisions. I also need to figure out the games we will do on the 21st and make a list of what I need to pull those off.

Friday morning I am meeting Tagen at 10:00 so we can take care of a banking issue. It will be good to get that taken care of. He is slowly getting moved in and I need to find out what he still needs and where he is with that.

Saturday I am going to Pioneer Bluffs to help with a mailing. That will probably take most of the day. Sunday I will get to stay home and watch the Chiefs game and make some more treats.

A week from today Nicole and I are flying to Phoenix, AZ. We will spend the night and early the next morning we are going on a hot air balloon ride and then drive to Sedona for a retreat. Looking forward to getting away for a couple of days.

I don’t think I have fully accepted that Christmas is almost here. I have a weird relationship with time these days and most days it doesn’t make sense to me. The weather patterns don’t help either. It was 60 degrees here today. It some ways it feels like we just celebrated last year’s Christmas. How can it be time for another one?

Sitting in a good place tonight. Felt good to allow myself to take a nap and give myself some extra rest. Somedays I do best when I do nothing.

Grateful I have the stuff to make the treats, grateful for a long winter’s nap, and grateful tomorrow is a stay at home day.

What a day. I got up and going and left for KC around 8:30. As I was getting ready to leave a guy showed up to mark the sewer line. He told me the water line guys were trying to get their equipment running on this cold day and would be over to dig today. It got down to 20 degrees last night.

I drove to KC and went to my eye doctor appointment. I went early to pick out new frames but the eye shop didn’t open until 11:00. Luckily the eye doctor wasn’t busy and after waiting five minutes she took me back. She did a very basic exam since I had seen the eye specialist last week.

After she was done I had to wait another five minutes before the eye shop opened. I picked out frames and got them ordered. It took about 15 minutes to get that done.

Next I went to Nicole’s house and picked her up and we went to lunch. Had a good visit with Nicole as we ate at Chipotle. Took her back home and I drove to Costco.

Man were they busy. I had to drive around the parking lot a couple times to find a parking space. I got lucky and got one up close. Inside the store was busy but manageable. The main thing I went for was two space heaters. The thermostat for this house is in the laundry room. The bathroom, laundry room and my bedroom stay nice and toasty warm but Kathy’s bedroom and the living room are about 10 degrees colder. I found two and they were on sale – lucky me.

I managed to fill a shopping cart of other things I didn’t know I needed. Got through the check out and got things loaded into my car and headed home. I had to stop in Emporia to fill my car up and then I came home.

Kathy helped me unload part of the stuff before she left to go to the movies with some friends. I got the rest of the stuff in the house and my car cleaned out a bit.

The best news of the day is the water is back on. I went out and talked to the two repair guys. They had to repair several leaks in the water line and do something to the sewer line. Not sure I understood what all they did. The main guy told me the yard wasn’t going to look pretty but I had water again. I told him I didn’t care what the yard looked like as long as I could take a shower and flush the toilet. I sure appreciated their efforts on this cold day.

I came back in the house and did dishes and a load of laundry. I decided I might as well test out the lines for them. It is such a privilege to have running water again. May I never take it for granted again!

It was a productive trip to KC and the day got even better when I found out I have water again. I have new glasses coming, got to have lunch with Nicole and I restocked my supplies from Costco. Not a bad day!

Tomorrow I may go to Emporia and get the supplies to start making Christmas treats. I only have a little over two weeks to get them made and I am going to be gone for five days next week. Time is running short.

I need to go to Emporia either Thursday or Friday to meet with Tagen and get a banking thing taken care of. He has started moving in and we need to get the utilities changed to his name too.

Saturday I am helping with a Newsletter at Pioneer Bluffs. Sunday I think I get to stay home.

It is always good to get away for a day and then have the good feeling of getting home safe and sound. Traffic was manageable today and the trip was easy. I look forward to starting to make my families favorite Christmas treats. That is the best part of Christmas for me.

I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that Christmas is a little over two weeks away. I haven’t started thinking about the trip to Sedona much yet either and I leave a week from tomorrow. December is going to fly by which is a very good thing as it is my least favorite month of the year.

Grateful for a safe trip to and from KC, grateful I got to have lunch with Nicole and ever so grateful to have running water again.

I was surprised this morning when a repair guy from Clark’s showed up. He checked the water line starting with the connection at the house under the crawl space. He found a leak and worked for a couple hours this morning to repair it. He left for lunch and then came back this afternoon and worked some more on it.

After he got it fixed he figured out there is another leak somewhere. This one they are going to have to dig to repair it. He called the gas company, electric company, cable and internet companies to get them to come mark their lines. When that gets done, the repair guy will bring helpers and they will dig the line up and repair the other leak.

That means another couple of days with no water. Not sure when they are coming back to fix it. We survived most of yesterday and all of today with no water and I’m sure we will survive another couple days.

I went to Emporia this afternoon for exercise. I wasn’t feeling the best but made it through. I was going to stop and get some groceries to make Christmas treats but with no water I can’t do that so decided to wait to get groceries another day.

I have to go to KC tomorrow for an eye doctor appointment at 11:00. Afterwards I am meeting up with Nicole and we are going out to lunch. I may stop at Costco on the way home and can get some of the supplies for Christmas treats there.

I got the electrician bill for the repair at Tagen’s rental house. They included a charge from June 2023. I have no idea what that was for and called them to ask. They couldn’t find records and told me to take it off the bill. Not sure what that was all about.

I also got a letter from my new prescription drug insurance company. They are telling me I am covered with BCBS. I was but that was back in 2018 and I haven’t been with them for years. I have to send a form back to let them know I no longer have that coverage. Wonder what is up with all these mix ups?

I was talking to my trainer today while we were exercising. I remembered the last time I put up a Christmas tree we couldn’t keep the cats out of it. That gives me a good excuse not to put the tree up this year. Win!

This house is cold today. Not sure why the cold feels extra cold today but it has. Kathy mentioned it bothering her too. Not sure what I am going to do when it gets down to single digits. We are thinking the dogs need to learn how to poo in their back yard pen. Neither one of us enjoy walking them when it is cold out. If I go to Costco tomorrow I might look for some space heaters to help warm up Kathy’s room and the living room.

The title to Tagen’s truck is at the car dealership. They called to let me know it had come in today. One day this week I will need to stop and pick it up and get the tag for the truck. I have to find out how much it will cost to change it to Lyon County when Tagen gets ownership of the truck. I would rather just title it in Lyon County to start with but not sure how that all works. I may go up to the Courthouse Wednesday and ask how it all works.

It will be good to go to KC tomorrow and spend a fun day. I have Wednesday and Thursday free to recover. Hoping they can get my water fixed Wednesday but it may be Thursday or Friday. Not sure how much fun it will be to go without a shower for the whole week.

Sitting in a weird place tonight. I feel well grounded but can’t make anything feel very important. I have some things to take care of on my to-do list but can’t quite make myself do anything.

Grateful one of the water leaks got fixed today, grateful for a warm house this evening, and grateful I can do nothing tonight as that is what my soul needs.

Another quiet stay at home day. I am so grateful for these types of day that refill my soul.

The ice skating rink outside had grown lots overnight. I was getting concerned it was going to harm the new sidewalks so called the emergency number for the city. A guy came and drained the water out of the water meter hole and turned off the water. It took him a long time to get all the water out of it. As soon as he would turn his little pump off the hole would fill with water again.

He still isn’t sure if it is on my side or on the city side. He is thinking my side but won’t know until they do some work on it tomorrow. He is going to coordinate with the people I called Saturday and will come back over in the morning to help fix it. Grateful for his attention and time on this cold day.

I currently don’t have water in the house. We filled some buckets up before it got turned off and fixed a temporary potty. No shower or bath for me tonight. Hoping the workers all show up tomorrow and can get it fixed. It may take a couple of days for it all to get going again but we shall see. Preparing myself for another couple of days without water but hoping it will be back on tomorrow.

I worked on my annual Christmas letter today. I have the first draft done but like to sit on it and read it again a couple more times to make sure I didn’t miss a typo or something important that happened during the year that I wanted to include. It always amazes me how much I do during a year. I keep thinking things are going to slow down and get boring but that hasn’t happened yet. Maybe I am not old enough yet.

Kathy went to Casey’s and got a pizza for dinner tonight. Without water it is a challenge to make anything – or at least that is the excuse we used to indulge in pizza.

Tomorrow I have the water repair guys coming in the morning. In the afternoon I have to be in Emporia at 2:00 for exercise and then I am going to buy groceries to start making my Christmas treats. I also need to stop by the court house and find out how to renew my passport and get it sent in to take care of that. Tuesday I am going to KC for an eye doctor appointment and then am having lunch with Nicole. I don’t think I have any other plans for the week until I am meeting up with Tagen on Friday to take care of a banking issue. Saturday I am going to Pioneer Bluffs to help with a Newsletter mailing.

Grateful I have a couple of stay at home days during the week. My soul and body do better when I get several of those a week.

I need to make some phone calls tomorrow. I never heard back from the guy that is going to replace the sewer line at the rental house and I need to find out what’s up with him. I also need to make a dental appointment. The VoTech hasn’t called me yet this year and my teeth seriously need cleaned. The drain guy hasn’t sent me a bill yet and I need to find out how much I owe him.

It has been a delight to have several stay at home days in a row. I almost feel like I can deal with people again.

Grateful for the city guy that came on the weekend to help me with the water issue, grateful for another stay at home day, and grateful for repair people that know how to fix things.

I managed another mostly stay at home day. I did go to the Old School Christmas festivities twice today. I had lunch there and then came back home. Went back to listen to Annie Wilson sing Christmas carols.

Other than that I stayed home all day. I took care of a few things off my to-do list. I still have a long list but made a bit of progress.

Discovered I have a serious water leak in my yard. I am on the list to get it fixed next week. I have lots of standing water in my front yard and the meter hole is full of water. Not sure if it is on my side or the city side. Thinking mine as the water bill was over three times what it should have been. Trusting things will hold together until they can get it fixed and we won’t have to turn the water off until then.

What is it with water and me? I seem to have had more than my share of water issues.

I stooped by the 4H bake sale on the way home after listening to Annie. I brought home a Bundt cake. I am a sucker for 4H kids. I was in 4H for years when I was in school and enjoyed it. I learned so much and do my best to support the kids. It was cold for them to be standing outside selling their baked goods but they were all in great moods and having fun.

I didn’t brave the Christmas parade and evening festivities. Too cold for me. It was all I could do to take Roxy for a walk at dusk. Kathy took Sophia so I only had to walk 1/2 mile. It took me a bit to thaw out after I got back home.

No plans for tomorrow except to continue to work on my to-do list. There are a couple of projects for me to do in the house. It might get done tomorrow – we shall see.

I made an eye doctor appointment in KC for Tuesday. Luckily Nicole is free to go to lunch when I get done with my appointment. I will probably stop at Costco on my way home. Not sure I need much but it is always fun to stop and see what they have. I hope to miss the Christmas crowd going this early in December.

Tagen needs a washer and dryer at his new house and Best Buy has a set on their Black Friday sale. I’ll have to see if he can go pick them up as their delivery is not available until January. Not sure why their delivery is so backed up.

We didn’t get snow like they did north of here. It smelled like snow and felt like snow. It is to warm up a bit next week but only to the lower and mid 40’s. Winter has arrived.

I’ve been binge watching Christmas movies this afternoon. It has been years since I have done this. Trying to get in the Christmas spirit this year. I never did find it last year.

It is nice to take a couple days and slow things down. I have been going too fast for the last month working on the rental house. I do much better going at a turtle pace. I don’t multitask like I used to and like to take lots of quiet time between tasks.

Grateful for this quiet time at home, grateful progress is being made on my to-do list, and grateful for repair people that can fix water leaks.

I went to walk Roxy this evening and realized I still had my pajamas on. Needless to say it has been a quiet day at home. I put my coat on over my pajamas and walked the dog. No need to getting dressed at this time of day or should I say night.

I did a bit more clean up this morning but took the rest of the day and did nothing. I watched the Chiefs game this afternoon. They sure can figure out ways to win even when they are out played.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I am hoping tomorrow I can cross some things off my to-do list.

I did do some ordering today for the grandkids Christmas gifts. I still have some more to do but it feels good to have gotten a start on it. I realized I only have three more weeks until the 21st when we have our family Christmas. I don’t like last minute stuff so need to get started.

I am adjusting to having empty space again after all the hustle of the rental house. It feels good to have it. I’m sure in another couple of weeks I will start looking for another project but for now it is just what my soul needs.

My phone got an update and they changed the look of my calendar. I don’t like the new change. I wish when they did those things that you could opt out of the change.

Sitting in what feels like the in-between state and I’m not sure what I am in-between. Doing my best to stay open and allowing what is to be what is.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for pajama days, and grateful I get to do this the next two days too.

Thanksgiving 2024 is a wrap. There were 18 of us for dinner. I had expected 24 but several got sice and couldn’t come.

I slept last night between 6:30 and 11:00 and then never did go back to sleep. I am one tired puppy today.

This small kitchen made it happen today. I got frustrated a couple of times with little space. I would pick up a pan without planning where it was going and there was no place to set it down.

The mashed potatoes didm’t turn out very good today. I had too many potatoes for the pan and the top layer got tough and wouldn’t mash. I fished out as many lumps as I could find but several eaters found lumps. They were sticky for some reason today too. The turkey in the roaster worked well but the ham didn’t do as well. It was edible, just not as tender as I like. Other than that everything turned out great.

Kathy helped me get things pulled together today and helped me clean up afterwards. She carried all the tables and chairs back out to the shed while I did dishes. I still have to put the dishes away and clean off the table and then we will be done.

It is good to know I can seat 18 people for a sit down dinner and make it work. I easily could have had at least 2 more and probably 6 more like I had planned. I had pushed the riding bike into my bedroom. If I had been thinking, I would have put it in a different spot so people could have exited the kitchen with their full plate through the laundry room and out my bedroom. That would have made a smoother traffic flow. We made it work so all was good.

Today was the first time I missed my big house. Cooking and serving a crowd in that house was easy. Good to know this house works if I do some advanced planning and think out my moves.

Kathy and I were trying to remember how many times we washed dishes today. I’m guessing at least ten times between yesterday and today and it could easily have been more. This house doesn’t have a dishwasher and with the small space I would fix a dish and then have to stop and do dishes, put everything away and then could start the next dish.

It takes longer that way but I never felt rushed today and could have been ready to serve at noon instead of 1:00.

I am gifting myself tomorrow as a do nothing day. I am hoping to sleep around the clock tonight and take a long nap tomorrow. I may get to stay home the rest of the weekend. I need to do something with Tagen in town but he is going out of town and isn’t available so it will have to wait till next week. What a treat it will be for me to have several stay at home days. I might get some things crossed off my long to-do list.

Next week looks fairly quiet at this point. I have to go to Emporia on Monday for exercise and will go in later in the week to take care of a banking thing with Tagen. Now that the rental house is all but done my life can go back to lots of stay at home days and regular activities.

Debating on putting up a Christmas tree. I never did put one up last year. We had our family Christmas early and I didn’t host it so didn’t see the point. This year we are having it on the 21st at my house. That may motivate me to put it up but man I hate that job. We shall see what I decide to do.

I so enjoyed having a house full today. Good friends, family, lots of food and lots of love in the air today. Thanksgiving is my favorite day of the year and this year was perfect.

Now I get to turn my attention to getting Christmas ready. I will get some things ordered for the grandkids soon and start looking for game ideas. We decided on the menu for our gathering today so fixing it will be easy. I don’t do much shopping for Christmas and the grandkids are old enough to give me their lists. I do enjoy making Christmas treats so will make a list of stuff I need to do that and pick that up next week when I am in town. Then as the mood hits I can get started making my family’s favorite treats.

I still send out Christmas cards and write a letter that goes with them. I will get started on writing that this weekend. It sure helps that I blog and record my life. I struggle with the timeline sometimes and can’t remember with much clarity when things happened. I am getting good at letting go of things and not holding on to them but the downside of that is I forget they happened.

Sitting in a wonderful head space tonight. I absolutely love having friends and family over and fixing a big feast. It was so neat to hear the laughter and conversations that were happening in the house today. Everyone seemed to have a good time and everyone left in a good mood.

Grateful for those that came for the feast today, grateful I was able to pull this event off, and grateful it is almost bed time as I am tired to the bone tonight.

Not a good night to find sleep last night. I have been tired all day. I am getting up at 4:00 in the morning to put the turkey in the oven. May go to bed early tonight. I can go back to bed after I get the turkey going if I can go back to sleep. I really won’t have anything else to do until 9:00 or so.

It was a rough start to my day. Jason opened a bank account and needed to add me to the account. I had completed the steps that bank requested but still got an email asking me to call them for more verification. The lady that answered had a thick accent and I had trouble understanding her. They needed me to send them another picture of my drivers license. I had already done this so not sure why I had to do it again.

I tried three times with the lady on the phone waiting. It would not accept any of them. I asked her what my options were and initially she said I didn’t have any. She finally said I could bring it to my local bank.

I tried again after she hung up and it went through. But it had gone through before so not sure I am finished or not. Sometimes these things feel very difficult for me. I was not in a good mood when I finished all that.

I baked five pies this morning. Chopped up the celery and onions for the dressing and prepped the veggies for the roasted vegetables I am going to put in the crock pot. I also broke the bread I am using for the dressing into bits and pieces.

I went to the liquor store and got some wine. I asked the lady at the store to pick out two bottles of white wine and two bottles of red. She started asking questions and I said I know nothing about wine and that it is useless for her to ask me anything. She picked out the wine but said it felt like a lot of responsibility I was putting on her. I apologized and told her I wouldn’t tell on her. When I got home, Kathy said she liked the choices. The lady did good!

I got a message today and found out four more are coming for dinner tomorrow. Yikes! I will have a very full house. I am sure I have plenty of food – just not sure where everyone is going to sit/stand. I’m sure it will all work out. I remember going to Grandma’s small house and many more than that all fit.

I needed a few more chairs and one more table. My SIL offered to bring those. That was easy! I moved the riding bike into my bedroom to open a bit more floor space in the dining room. Jason is bringing another card table so I can put it up in the kitchen to put food on. I don’t have enough counter space to lay all the food out for people to fill their plates.

I made myself a schedule for tomorrow. If I use the roasting pan to keep the turkey and ham warm I will have enough oven space. I may have to put the crock pots and roasting pan in my bedroom to cook as I don’t have enough counter space to have them going and still have room to make the rest of the dinner. Sometimes you have to get creative to get things done.

Trusting tomorrow will be a better day for me. I hope I got my crankiness over with today! I so enjoy having a house full of people and tomorrow I will get that and more! Trusting I won’t have a cooking disaster.

Not sure I like this colder weather. We got a bit of rain today but it didn’t amount to much. Tomorrow it is to be sunny so that will help. The dogs came inside for most of the day so they wouldn’t get wet and stink up the house. Grateful they can be outside tomorrow as there won’t be room for them. It is only going to be 42 tomorrow so too cold for some to sit on the front porch and eat. Inside will be warm and toasty with all the people coming.

Tonight I will get the tables set up and set. I will still need to set one more table when it gets here tomorrow.

Thanksgiving always seems to kick off the holiday season for me. It is the only part of the holiday season I love. I’m grateful Nicole and I are going on a little vacation mid month in December. That will give me something to look forward to that I will enjoy. We are doing my family Christmas on the 21st. That will be here before I know it.

Not sure I could live in this small house if I fixed a meal for 24 everyday. It takes some planning and thought to get things done. I have to fix one thing at a time and do the dishes and clean up after myself and then start the next thing. Takes longer than it did in the big house. Good thing I only do this occasionally and this small house works great the rest of the time.

No plans for the weekend. Tagen and I need to open two bank accounts so may get that done but Tagen is going out of town for a day or two and not sure he is available. That task may have to wait for next week.

Next week looks fairly quiet so will get some more stay at home quiet days. I do need to make my Christmas treat list and go get groceries one day. If I make one treat a day I will be in good shape for the 21st.

Grateful the feast preparation has started, grateful for all the friends and family that are coming tomorrow, and grateful for a day to stop and give thanks for all the blessings I have.

I manage to have a stay at home days ahead! I didn’t realize how tired I was. I have not done much at all today. I needed to recharge and refill to get ready for tomorrow and Thursday. Grateful I had a day to do that.

The drain cleaner let me know he unplugged the sewer line. He also let me know the line is in rough shape and needs to be replaced. He referred me to some people and I also asked my plumber to refer me to someone.

I called one of them and they are to go look at the house and measure the line and get back with me about the cost. Not sure that replacement was in the budget but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Those things can only be put off for so long.

I have had this house for several years and the first couple of years there was a twice yearly drain cleaner charge. I asked my property manager about it and he had someone do something to the sewer line. The drain cleaner bills stopped and I thought the problem had been fixed. They must have only repaired a part of it.

The good news is Tagen can move in now whenever he can find the time to do so. The line should hold until the repair guy can come replace it.

I spent an hour doing a meditation with the lady that led my retreat to Costa Rica. It was relaxing and exactly what I needed today. She does these every so often for free. She taught me how to relax and soften my body and give to myself the love and compassion I share with others. Powerful stuff!

I think the cold weather has arrived for the season. It is not to get over 45 for the next 10 days. Burr…. We have been lucky to make it this far into the season without these cold temperatures. It is the end of November so we were overdue. My Facebook memories remind me of snow we have received in the past on this day.

Tomorrow I get to start cooking. I will bake five pies, break the bread for the dressing, and get the tables and chairs from the storage shed. Not sure I have enough folding chairs so need to figure out what to do about that. I don’t remember how many I have. I know I gave away some of them as I didn’t have room to store them all. We will figure something out.

I had forgotten to buy some fresh flowers when I was at the store yesterday. Kathy surprised me with some when she came home from town today. Funny how those things work out. I appreciate them!

I need to write out a timeline for my cooking for Thursday. I have a 20 pound turkey to fix, a whole ham to warm up,and then all the side dishes that need to be warmed. I used to have a double oven and could do lots more things at the same time. It will take a bit more preplanning this year but I think I can get them all cooked and be able to serve the hot stuff hot.

I may still get some housecleaning done tonight. Needed to recharge and refill my body first. That felt more essential to me than dusting. The house will be so full I’m not sure anyone will notice the dust.

Grateful for a quiet day at home, grateful for the meditation today on self love and gratitude and grateful the sewer line got unplugged today and Tagen can move in.

I went to Emporia after I got up and going this morning.. I had a slow start to my day and it took me a bit to get going.

I texted the drain guy and he said he would get to the house late morning. I went in to meet him.

I cleaned the house and got the paint splatters up off the floor while I was waiting for the drain guy. I listened to some Podcasts and the time went by quickly. I had to leave at 1:45 to go to exercise.

I did my exercises and then ran back by the house to see if he had come. He had not so I went to Walmart to buy the rest of my Thanksgiving groceries. Went back by the house again after I got groceries and he hadn’t shown up yet.

I went ahead and headed for home. I stopped and got gas and then came home. I haven’t heard yet if he ever showed up.

It took me a bit to unload the groceries and put everything away. Grateful that task is done. I dislike shopping and it was good to get the stuff I needed and get out of the store. I forgot about on-line ordering or I would have done that instead. The store was crowded but I managed to get around the unconscious people and avoid the big blue carts.

It was cold today. It only reached the low 40’s today. Guess it is time to have some cold weather but I am spoiled and not ready for it yet.

The rental house is looking good. I will be grateful when the drain guy comes and does his thing and the house project is complete. I still have just a bit of painting to do but not much. I wasn’t in the mood to paint today so got started on the cleaning instead.

Kathy cleaned house while I was gone today so tomorrow will go even faster for me. I only have to dust and do some detail cleaning here and there. I also need to bring in tables and chairs from the storage shed and figure out where I am going to put everyone.

I’m anxious to get started baking and cooking. That is the fun part of all of this. Now that the grocery shopping is done and the house almost clean I can start having fun.

Got my property tax bills for the three rental houses in Emporia. Nothing says Happy Holidays more than receiving the annual property tax bills. Wish they would move them to a different time of year. I will probably get the bill for the Chase County house later this week. This is the time of year that I am grateful I sold the big house in the country. The taxes on this small house are much smaller than the big house.

I think I am starting a string of stay at home days. Hoping I don’t have to go back to Emporia for several days. I did forget some half and half but I can get that at the Dollar General store in CWF. Tagen and I need to open a couple of bank accounts but that can wait till Friday.

Feeling a bit emotionally tired this evening. I can tell I haven’t had enough stay at home days lately. I am feeling pretty drained and empty. It will be fun to concentrate on fixing a feast and having a house full Thursday.

Nicole and I are going to Sedona, AZ for a retreat mid December. We fly into Phoenix the day before and then are renting a car and driving to Sedona. Nicole called today and asked if I wanted to do a hot air ballon ride in Phoenix before we have to drive to Sedona. I said YES!. That is something that is on my bucket list. This will make this trip even more special and exciting.

Grateful all the groceries are in the house for our feast, grateful I have several stay at home days ahead for me, and grateful my furnace works and this house is nice and warm on this cold day.

It has been a quiet stay at home day – my favorite type of day.

I watched the football game. I’m not sure how the Chiefs manage to pull it out so often. I have never seen so many penalties in a game. Hope the player that flipped and landed on his head is OK.

I heard a disturbance coming from the dog pen. Went outside and discovered a dog that belongs to the neighbor across the street had jumped the fence again and had come over to visit Sophia. Not sure the meeting was going well. The neighbor ran over and got her dog to go home. I took Sophia on a walk to calm her down. Kathy had Roxy out walking her so they missed out on the fun.

I decided not to go in and paint today. I wanted to watch the game and by the time it was over it was almost 3:30 and by the time I could get to time it would be 4:00. It gets dark by 5:00 and I needed to paint in the living room and I wouldn’t have been able to see what I was doing for very long. I will go in tomorrow before exercise and try to get it finished up.

After exercise tomorrow I will go get the rest of the groceries for the Thanksgiving feast. I have already gotten supplies twice so hoping tomorrow’s trip will be fairly quick. The store will be busy but I will just have to deal. I guess if I get up early I could go in early and make two trips to town tomorrow. We shall see what happens.

I spent some time this morning listening to some YouTube videos and reels. I am fascinated by the concept of 5D and how the universe is moving from the false matrix to truth.

The mentor that I followed did a video on what she calls YoYo people. She perfectly described me. I feel deeply both sides of the range. When I fall down the rabbit hole it takes me a bit to find my footing and climb back out. Then I fly with the eagles and enjoy the bliss that comes with that. My mentor said what is happening is YoYo people help balance the timeline. That makes sense to me and explains what is happening.

This still feels a bit out there for me but the more I learn the more all this is making more and more sense to me. I can feel deeply that there is a major change coming our way over the coming days/weeks/months/years. It isn’t the political change although that plays into it. It is much deeper and bigger than that.

My job is to stay regulated and tune into my inner self. I need lots of private, quiet time right now. I find myself making different decisions than I would have in the past. Things that used to be important to me no longer feel important. I have a deep inner knowing that all is well in spite of the political winds that are blowing. We are birthing a new way of being and the old structure is dying. I feel the labor pains but know the reward from the pain is close.

Not sure any of this makes total sense. I really have trouble explaining it but know that I feel it deeply. It feels like we need to invent a new vocabulary to explain this new way of being.

Grateful for teachers and mentors that help me make sense out of this chaotic world, grateful for a stay at home day, and grateful to be on this path even when I don’t understand it.

Another night of little sleep. Must have slept too much the night before. I gave up at 7:30 and got up and got dressed. I went to Emporia to get the turkey and ham for Thanksgiving. I was only able to find a 20 pound turkey but it will do. I also got a whole ham so we will have plenty of meat for our feast.

Came home and put things away and went back to bed. I slept for a couple of hours. Yay!

Went back to Emporia and painted for about three hours. Am almost done with the painting. I couldn’t do the front door as that room doesn’t have an overhead light and I didn’t have a lamp. I will get it painted tomorrow and do all the last minute touch ups and call it good.

I really need to paint all the windows but decided not to do that. If for some reason Tagen doesn’t get to move in next weekend I may do it then. He doesn’t notice things like that and with the blinds up they aren’t too noticeable.

I brought home a bag full of stuff from the rental house. Extra shelf liners, painting supplies, etc. It felt good to get it out of the house. There is still a bunch of stuff that we are still using in the house that I will need to bring home some. It is almost time to do the final cleaning and call it good.

Monday I have to go to town for exercise at 2:00. I will stop afterwards and get the rest of the groceries. Tuesday I will clean the house and Wednesday I will bake the pies and start prepping the feast. I have done this menu so many times I know the timing of everything and it is pretty routine for me to fix. Latest count is 20 people coming. We will have a house full but I love that. I have a small house but a long table. There is always room for more if you don’t have a place to eat come join us. We are eating at 1:00.

Looking forward to a mostly stay at home week next week. It is long overdue. I love hosting Thanksgiving Dinner and am looking forward to my friends and family gathering. I wish I could skip Christmas and go straight to 2025.

This day has felt weird in sorts. I had the hardest time figuring out if it was Friday or Saturday and if it was morning or night. I must not be well grounded today. The sleep thing is messing with me.

I will be so grateful when the rental project is complete. It has consumed me this month. I needed a project to work on but…….

Grateful I got some painting done today, grateful I got sleep during the day today as it was elusive last night, and grateful I got a turkey and ham today.

I slept the clock around last night! Sleep, dear sleep at last. It is amazing how much more energy I have when I get sleep.

I met a dear friend for lunch. It was good to catch up with her and have a deep conversation. I need that in my life often.

After lunch I went to the rental house in Emporia. I managed to get all the lower cabinet doors put up. I finally figured out they were all slightly different sizes and I had to take some of the ones I had put up down and match them up better. They went on much easier after that.

Tagen came over and we hung all but one of the upper cabinet doors. We need longer and bigger screws for one of them as the screws are stripped out and won’t keep the cabinet door hung up. Tagen said he would get the ones we need and finish that job up.

With the cabinets up, the kitchen looks so much better. The only other things I have to do is finish the woodwork painting and then do a real good cleaning. I hope to go in tomorrow and finish those two things up. The drain guy didn’t show up today so I will need to call him tomorrow and see if I can get him there. That is the last thing that needs to be done before Tagen can move in.

Tagen and I signed the lease agreement today and I also drew up a contract with him dealing with the truck. We went over those and I got him to sign them. We need to go to a bank and open two accounts and then he will be ready to meet his responsibilities. Next week we need to get the utilities transferred to his name or at least his bank account. I don’t know if the utility companies will allow Tagen to have them in his name since he doesn’t have a credit score. Wonder how one does get credit for the first time.

Phil got the backyard gate up so the back yard is ready to contain a dog. He also got the last two blinds hung. The house is really coming together.

I meant to stop and get a turkey and ham before I came home but I forgot. I will have to go to town and get them tomorrow even if I don’t paint.

It will be good to finally get this rental house project completed. Next week I need to turn my attention to Thanksgiving and getting a dinner pulled together. I won’t have time to go to town everyday and work on the rental.

After Thanksgiving will come Christmas and all the work that comes with that. Add in the trip in December Nicole and I are taking to AZ and the new year will be here before I know it.

This has been a good day. I got several things crossed off my pending and to do list. It felt productive and I need a productive day occasionally. Things feel possible again to me today.

Grateful for lots of sleep last night, grateful the contracts between Tagen and I got signed and explained, and grateful the rental house project is almost done.

I didn’t sleep one minute last night. I have been up since yesterday morning. I am beyond tired. Tonight I trust I will crash and sleep the clock around.

Kathy and I left for Topeka at 8:45 this morning. Our first stop was at HyVee on south Wanamaker. Unfortunately it was a wasted stop as the biggest turkey they had was 17 pounds. I can get one that size in Emporia so didn’t get what I wanted.

We went to my eye specialist for my 10:50 appointment. We got there around 10:30 and I got checked in. They called me back to dilate my eyes around 10:40. Next stop was to take pictures of both eyes. Luckily they didn’t have to inject me with contrast material today.

They sent me back to the waiting room to wait to be called back to see the doctor. We sat for over an hour before they called me back. It was past noon by the time I got to see the doctor.

He said I have grade 2+ cataracts in both eyes. He said sometimes they shrink and come back and sometimes this might mean they are growing. Other than that, everything checked out great. I go back in a year.

This doctor has walked parts of the Camino three times. We had a brief discussion of that before I left. We wished each other Bien Camino when I departed. That is what the pilgrims on the trail say to each other.

We stopped at 5 Guys for burgers and fries. It was delicious. I had forgotten how many fries they give you. Luckily we split an order and still couldn’t eat them all.

I’ve worn the shades they gave me at the doctor’s office all afternoon. I have a slight headache but didn’t get a migraine like I usually do this time. I am grateful for that.

The furnace guy came at 3:30 to clean the furnace. It was really dirty. He showed me how to change the filter. I will get some replacements the next time I go to town and start changing in monthly. The cat litter box is close to the bottom of the furnace and I’m sure that doesn’t help the furnace. Keeping the filter clean will cut down on the amount of dust that gets to the working parts of the furnace.

I was to go to a happy hour at 4:00 but the furnace guy didn’t get done until 4:15. I was too tired to go so I stayed home. Thinking I will take a bath soon and go to bed.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend for an early lunch and then going to town. I need to track down a big turkey and get a ham. I also want to finish hanging the kitchen cabinet doors and finish the painting. Tagen and I need to go to the bank and open two accounts together. Not sure I will get all that done in one afternoon but will get part of it done.

No plans for the weekend except finishing up Tagen’s house. Still haven’t heard from the drain guy so it isn’t looking like Tagen will get to move in this weekend unless the drain guy shows up tomorrow. One more week won’t hurt if it comes to that. Not sure he has gotten the stuff he needs to be there anyways. I’m sure he hasn’t thought about towels, trash cans, shower curtain, dishes, couch, etc. We need to get internet service lined up and installed next week too.

Something keeps shifting inside me. Not sure I can find words to describe what is happening within yet. I realized today a couple of times that I handled somethings differently than I would have in the past – and in a better way. It often happens that way with me. I can’t always figure out how or why it happens, but I can feel and notice a difference. Grateful for the change however it happened.

Grateful for a good report from the doctor, grateful for a safe trip to and from Topeka, and grateful the furnace is clean and ready for cold weather.

What a day! Had trouble sleeping again last night. I slept in a bit this morning but then gave up and got up.

Went to Emporia to work on the rental house. Once I got to town I stopped to drop off some Chex Mix to Jason and was able to see him and have a short visit. Then I went to Michelle’s office and dropped off some for her and her kiddos. She wasn’t too busy so we were able to chat for a bit.

Went to the house and worked on the kitchen cabinets. The screws I got on my fourth attempt worked and I was able to get the drawers put back in place. I worked on the kitchen cabinet doors and ran into problems. The hinges I bought cheap from Amazon kinda worked. Some of them I had to drill new holes.

Got the drill bit stuck in the cabinet door and had to figure out how to reattach the drill to it to pull it out. Finally got the hinges all on and then I attempted to hang the doors. Some of the doors don’t line up with the old holes and had to drill new holes. We didn’t mark the cabinet doors and found out they are not all exactly the same size. This type of work is not my strong suit.

It really is a two person job to hang some of the doors. Good thing Tagen showed up and helped me out. We didn’t get them all done before we had to leave to go to the car dealership.

Tagen doesn’t have a credit score yet as he hasn’t had any credit cards, etc. The car dealer’s finance people wouldn’t offer him a loan even with my co-signature with him as the primary buyer. I called the local bank and they would do it but at over 20% interest with 20% down. Yikes! That feels like highway robbery to me.

The only way we could make it work is if I purchased the truck on my own. The interest rate is still over 8% doing it that way. If we added Tagen as a co-buyer the interest rate would have been over 15.8%. Yikes! I am selling one of my rental houses next year and when that happens I will pay off the truck loan and then Tagen will pay me direct for the truck. That will save him over $12,000 over the course of the loan. I will transfer the truck to Tagen’s name when I pay off the loan. I wonder how much that will cost and if we will have to pay sales tax again.

I haven’t borrow money for over 10 years and had no idea interest rates were so high. I feel so bad for people that have no choice but to pay them. I’m grateful to be in a position to help my grandson out.

I asked the car dealer if sales were down. He said last month they moved 55 vehicles and so far this month only 15. Wonder what next year will bring for them if the tariffs go through.

Came home exhausted. I find doing things outside my comfort zone wears me out. I am not wired to hang kitchen cabinet doors. I am proud of those we got up but will have to spend another day getting the rest of them done. May end up asking Phil to do it for me.

Tomorrow I have to leave for Topeka around 8:45. Going to stop at HyVee to get a turkey and a ham before my eye doctor appointment at 10:50. Kathy is going to drive me as they will dilate my eyes and that usually gives me a migraine.

Friday I am meeting a friend for lunch or conversation and will spend the rest of the day at the rental. I didn’t get any painting done today so still need to finish that up. I will work on it through the weekend and get it done. Then I will need to clean the house and it will be ready for Tagen to move in. Still waiting on the drain guy but still hoping he will be there this week.

I will be so grateful when this rental project is completed. It is draining me. I am looking forward to having stay at home days and nothing pressing to do. Remodeling takes more dollars and time than expected and we didn’t do that much. I will be ever so grateful when all three of the remaining rentals are sold and I am out of that business.

Feeling a bit out of touch with the world today. I really had no idea interest rates were that high. How privileged I am to not have to know that. I wonder what credit card rates are these days? No wonder people can’t get ahead.

Grateful I could help my grandson out, grateful some kitchen cabinet doors got hung today, and grateful I got to see and talk to both Jason and Michelle today.